#even 'gay' itself. i was in school in the late 2000s i remember

[sakurachan7734]

Teenage rebellion

Chapter 4: house party

Tw: underage drinking and mentions of drug use

(do not worry nothing will be in detail) 

Melissa: so you are coming to the party tonight right?

Jackson: yea my dads said I can go because I did a big favor for them yesterday by watching my brother and sister

Melissa: good what are you going to wear?

Jackson: oh I may wear a knee length dress

Melissa: that will look hot on you

Jackson: everything looks hot on me

Melissa: true and did you tell your parents that they’re gonna be drugs at the party?

Jackson: no, I didn’t know there were

Melissa: me neither Aristotle just told me 

Jackson: ok now I know who’s gonna be there

Melissa: yeah, let’s make sure Catherine doesn’t try anything stupid or if she does, let’s just leave or go somewhere else 

Jackson: yea that b!cth goes to psycho when she doesn’t get her fix

A few hours later Jackson is getting ready

Lawrence:* from outside the room*promise me, you won’t drink or smoke or take anything someone gives you not even your friends 

Jackson: yes I know I won’t

Lawrence: don’t do anything stupid OK? I don’t wanna bail you out of jail 

Jackson: I know I won’t dad

Lawrence: good be back by 10:00pm

Jackson:* starts putting on eyeliner* ok I will remember that

Jackson finishes getting ready and uses the pocket dimension to get to Jake’s house where the party was being held 

Jake: hay you made it!

Jackson: yea this is going to be sick!

Jack: hell yeah and by the way Catherine showed up first and it’s already taken half of the drugs and drank most of the beer so my sister went to go get more

Jackson: classy Catherine 

Jackson walked into the house and sees Aristotle dancing in the living room and walks up to them

Jackson: you convinced your parents to let you go?

Aristotle: yea I’m surprised but my dads said that I had to help with the church tomorrow

Jackson: that makes sense

Aristotle: plus where did you get that dress?

Jackson: oh I stole it and me and my papa modified it a bit 

Aristotle: that makes sense and be aware of Catherine she is high and talking about kissing every boy here

Jackson: little does she know nearly everyone here is gay and don’t want her cigarettes breathe

Aristotle:* pulls Jackson in to the living room* enough of her let’s dance!

Jackson and Aristotle start dancing until Zachary and Melissa showed up 

Zachary: hay guys!

Aristotle: hay you made it!

Melissa: sorry we’re late I got us lost

Jackson: isn’t Zachary’s apartment, a few miles away from here?

Zachary: well I went to go get Melissa first

Jackson: ah ok do you guys wanna go hang out outside and smoke? Because Catherine is being annoying

Zachary: yea I have some questions anyway

Aristotle: anything inappropriate? 

Zachary: no I kinda know how everyone got their names because it’s only like one person in Aristotle in school and it’s you and I know the story behind Melissa’s and her boy bodies name is pretty funny 

Aristotle: true

Aristotle, Zachary, Melissa and Jackson, go outside onto the patio 

Jackson: so why did you name yourself Melissa?

Melissa: well I decide name this Body after a computer virus that happened in 1999 and it was a virus named Melissa that would disable a number of safeguards in word 97 and word 2000 and it caused more than $80 million in damage and hacked over 100,000 computers

Aristotle: Jesus Christ how did so many people fall for that ?

Melissa: the virus took form of a spicy email saying that it was your wife n@ked or disguising itself as an adult website

Aristotle: damn, are you planning on doing the same thing?

Melissa: no of course not I just thought the name was pretty

Aristotle: ok so Jackson how did you your brother and sister get their names?

Jackson: well my sister was named after my dad’s mother and me and Max were named after his brothers

Zachary: the very tall pale one or the walking corpse? 

Jackson: the walking corpse and how I found out that I was named after his older brother and Max was named after his younger brother is I found a picture of when my dad he was human before he got drafted of him standing in the middle of two other boys with a woman behind them I asked him about it he pointed them out to me and explain that I was named after his oldest brother and max was named after his youngest brother and Sarah was named after his mother 

Melissa: awww that’s adorable how did you find the picture

Jackson: my papa asked me to find something in his closet and I found a box of my dads old war stuff and he picture was underneath it

Aristotle: that’s adorable

Jackson: yea so how did you get your name Aristotle?

Aristotle: probably not as exciting as yours and Melissa’s but my farther liked studying famous people through history and the name Aristotle stuck out to him and decided to name me after him

Zachary: that’s still cool my dad named me Zachary after my great grandfather

Catherine: hayyy what are you all talking about?

Melissa: nothing go away Catherine

Catherine: but Samantha dared me to kiss Aristotle

Aristotle: no the f**k she didn’t

Catherine: yess she did your just nervous

Aristotle: no I’m not nobody here wants you who even invited you anyway?! 

Catherine: I live here to

Zachary: because you spend all your money on drugs? 

Catherine: no I didn’t

Jackson: go away Catherine

Catherine: finneee * stomps away*

Melissa: do we have any more oil?

Zachary: I think so you’re one who bought it and put it in the cooler 

Aristotle:* looking in the cooler* we have one left

Melissa: give it to me

Aristotle:* hands Melissa the oil* so what do you want to do?

Zachary: I don’t know maybe look around for something cool?

Jackson: no we probably get in trouble

Aristotle: says the one who set a hospital on fire

Jackson: f**k you

Melissa: let’s go back inside

Zachary: yea it’s cold out here

They all go inside

Aristotle: do you guys want to play games?

Jackson: yea I think Jake has board games upstairs for parties

Jack: we are about to play some games soon don’t worry meet everyone In the living room 

Melissa: ah ok

They all go to the living room and sit down where a movie was playing

Zachary: hay isn’t this one of the movies that your dad is in Aristotle?

Aristotle: yea he’s in a lot of very popular movies

Meg: hay Ari how does it feel to be the child of a famous and well like a doctor?

Aristotle: first of all don’t call me Ari and the having a bunch of wealth is nice but it’s annoying getting recognized everywhere I go 

Dwight: yea that dose seems to be annoying after a while

Jack: ok everyone we are going to be playing a card game

Melissa: what game?

Jack: cards against humanity does anybody wanna sit out for this?

Aristotle: me I have to leave anyway

Jack: ok see you Monday

Everyone plays a few rounds of cards against humanity until everyone went home and Zachary goes back to his apartment

Catalina: so how was the party?

Zachary: it was good

Catalina: did you do any of the things I told you not to do?

Zachary: no I didn’t

Catalina: good off to bed with you

Zachary: ok night grandma

End of chapter











[annieisyourfavourite]

definitely feeling lately like all this queer slur discourse is a way for people to police how other people describe their gender, to make sure people only stick to a couple, cis/binary approved options of how to have (or not have) a gender. Getting mad at people for saying femboy and girlboy, dictating who can and can't use butch or femme, trying to box who's allowed to say they're gnc, getting mad at dykes and faggots for calling themselves that, the whole anti-queer discourse. It's like. They come after everything so the only things left are like 3 sanitized options of "man, woman, or Androgynous Nonbinary" and I'm so over it. Being genderqueer is cool and good and personal and often contradictory, and calling anything that's not those 3 options a slur and getting mad at people for describing themselves as such is so ugly actually

[yurimother]

Growing up Yurijin: My Childhood Experience with Lesbian Anime and Manga Part I

This article is the first in a two-part personal essay about my childhood experiences growing up around Yuri in an environment where LGBTQ+ identity and culture were normalized. The article was original released exclusively on Patreon in February 2019. You can read Part II on the YuriMother Patreon.

I was recently reading an article by one of the people I admire most in the world, LGBTQ+ manga tastemaker and lesbian icon, Erica Friedman, a person who, in my hubris, I sometimes compare myself to, qualitatively, of course, their achievements far exceed my own. In the essay I was reading, Friedman describes their struggle to find literature that reflected their queen identity in the 1980s. At this moment, it also occurred to me the Friedman had previously spoken about how they discovered anime and manga, which included lesbian elements, more commonly known as Yuri, in adult life, and found an affinity with the genre. Friedman went on to become one of, if not the pioneering individuals in the world of Yuri. As I reminisce on these facts about a person who I so deeply admire and am lucky enough to consider a friend, it occurred to me that, while they adopted the Yuri, I was born into it. Although, funnily enough, my existence as a Yurijin (lit. Yuri Person, an inclusive term for Yuri fans) likely would not have been possible if not for Friedman’s support and love of Yuri, more on that later.

I am rather young. Depending on who you ask, I am either one of the last Millennials or one of the first members of Generation Z, although, like most labels, I find using either one of these titles arbitrary. However, I am always aware of how immense of a blessing my youth is. Yes, being young is fun and dandy, but I am referring to my upbringing's social implications. From a very early age, since before I could even talk, I was exposed to homosexuality as normalcy. I did not think anything of it until I started to grasp the more significant history and circumstance around terms such as ��gay” when I was about nine years old. My godmothers are gay women, as are my brother’s. I remember attending their second wedding in 2004, shortly after same-sex marriage was officially legalized where we lived, and I thought nothing of it.

As previously implied, around late elementary school, I discovered that being gay was a distinct identity and had a more serious and complex history around it, one which I learned about but never experienced. I think more than anything, my blessed lack of conflict around sexuality has been my greatest asset. Growing up in a progressive era and the late ’90s and early 2000s, I was never harassed, bullied, or attacked for being queer or talking about LGBTQ politics and media. To this day, I still never “came out” because there was no need to, although I admittedly have never been much of one to put labels on my sexuality. I was always just, queer, and there was never an assumption otherwise. On a side note, there is no possible way for me to express the breadth of my gratitude to the generations who fought for LGBT rights.

The reader needs to understand that, just as I was fortunate to grow up in a bubble that treated where homosexuality normally, so too was I luckily able to experience Yuri at such a young age. By 2010 we were well into Yuri’s third major movement, a period I often refer to as the “Current Era” of Yuri, although “S Revival” may be a more apt description. Sailor Moon had already dominated both Western and Eastern culture (a craze I was ever too slightly young for), brought Yuri into the independent comics market, and exposed audiences to one of the first positive portrayals of a lesbian couple in Yuri.

Additionally, Revolutionary Girl Utena had smashed its way into the anime world, cementing itself as one of the most acclaimed and influential anime works of the 1990s and legitimizing lesbian storytelling in the medium. Most importantly for me, Oyuki Konno’s Maria Watches Over Us light novel series revived the Yuri genre's earliest tropes, known as Class S. Elements of S fiction, such as all-girls catholic schools, piano duets, and temporary lesbian-ish love would permeate the genre for the coming decades. These themes were eventually adopted and intensely exaggerated in the work that set me on the path of Yuri and transformed me into the “Holy Mother of Yuri.”

Furthermore, when I was in the early stages of life, Yuri was beginning to make its way Westward slowly. This expansion was thanks to the publishing arm of Erica Friedman’s organization Yuricon, ALC Publishing. ALC was founded in 2003 and started to publish the first Yuri manga in America, including the Yuri Monogatari series and Takashima Rica’s Rica’ tte Kanji!? A few years later, Seven Seas Entertainment started to published Yuri manga, such as The Last Uniform and Kashimashi: Girl Meets Girl. Around this team, thanks to the internet and anime’s growing popularity, anime and manga were more accessible than ever. Although Western Yuri publishing did not take off until the late 2010s, there was just enough of it readily available to create the perfect storm for my Yuri infection.

Shortly after I started to gain awareness of LGBTQ+ rights, identity, and… existence, I was exposed to my first Yuri, although I did not recognize it as such. My middle school library had an extensive collection of manga, including the Tokyopop adaptations of Strawberry Marshmallow. I never read them, but a friend did and talked with me about them. Curious, I went home and searched the title online and found that there were anime videos uploaded to YouTube, with each episode separated into three parts (this event was before I was aware of what piracy was and how harmful it is to creators). I watched all of them with my brother, and we had an absolute blast. To this day, Strawberry Marshmallow is one of our favorite series to watch together and have a huge laugh at.

Although Strawberry Marshmallow had subtle Yuri elements (this was before the 2009 OVA, which contained an actual kiss), I did not recognize them. However, this series led to my brother and I showing each other different anime series, in one of which I was very clearly able to see lesbian representation. I do not remember the exact year, but it must have been about 2010 when, sitting in our mother’s office waiting for her to finish with meetings, my brother pulled up an episode of Studio Madhouse’s Strawberry Panic anime and changed my life forever.

Part II of "Growing up Yurijin" is available to read as part of The Secret Garden series. The Secret Garden is YuriMother's exclusive series of monthly articles, available only for Patrons. If you want to access it and help support Yuri and LGBTQ+ content, subscribe to the YuriMother Patreon.

[megaderping]

Dealing with some anxiety over the past few weeks about some stuff I dealt with growing up that didn’t fully sink in until just now. It is very personal. It is also very heavy. If you decide to read, please keep in mind that this deals with some pretty heavy baggage, including... Trigger Warnings: CSA, Incest, Abuse, Bullying, Ableism, Trauma, Aphobia, Homophobia Because this is a personal rant, I’d rather avoid reblogs. Thank you for understanding.

So. When I was younger, I spent a lot of time with one of my cousins. She was a good 6 - 8 years older than me. At the time, I looked up to her. I thought she was cool and smart. I trusted her. Because I was so young, I didn’t think it weird that she described french kissing to me in great detail. I never told an adult. I was too young to know that this was not okay. This wasn’t even the last time, though. When I was in first grade, she was so eager to show and describe matters related to being a teenage girl and the changes therein. I won’t go into great detail- but the way she demonstrated this... It was definitely hands on. What bothers me is that at the time, it didn’t hit me that THIS wasn’t okay either. I didn’t tell an adult because I didn’t know I was supposed to. That this was sexual abuse. She did some things with me that- it only happened once, but it REALLY, fundamentally bothers me that my longterm reaction to this was... desensitization. Maybe that’s a form of trauma in itself? I dunno. But I was able to move on eventually when she wasn’t in my life anymore. Sometimes I tell myself I shouldn’t hold it against her because she was a teenager at the time with her own issues, but... I dunno. I didn’t talk about this with anyone. I didn’t really think about it, save for once in a blue moon when I was in high school and I was like, “...maybe that was messed up.” But if you asked me at the time, I would’ve said I was okay. But I’m honestly not sure if I was. I was bullied throughout my entire public schooling. People would punch me. They’d call me names. They’d make fun of me for liking cartoons and video games and come up to me with the most ableistic voices demanding I “draw them pokaymanz”. I was the one who had to go to the school councilor for being a problem. They didn’t get in trouble. In high school, I would go out into the pod to try and study and work on assignments because the very same people who had bullied me in grade school would not SHUT UP when we were supposed to be doing assigned reading. They were not punished. Nobody stepped in when I raised concerns- the best I got was permission to distance myself. I remember sitting on the bus one day in high school, minding my own business when these girls in the seat in front of me started making fun of my name. They started making fun of my appearance. The bus driver never stepped in. I got off the bus in tears. And this was hardly the first time. This was a problem from grade school ‘til graduation. 12 - 13 years of this. Sometimes when I’m at work, trying to do my JOB, my mind will go back to something a classmate said, something a classmate DID, and I’ll lose my focus. It’ll bring me to tears even though I SHOULD be over it by now. And this has always happened to me. People talking behind my back. Spreading rumors. Going to OTHERS to deal with their problems with me instead of talking to me because apparently human decency is too much to ask. People would spread rumors that I “pooped on the playground”. They’d say I liked to sneak into the boys’ bathroom. When I was in first grade, someone shoved a leaf up my nose. I still remember that, too. I remember being told by people I considered friends that we couldn’t be friends anymore because they had new friends who didn’t like me. I remember people being cruel. A lack of understanding. It turned me into a wallflower over time because I was scared to make connections and for a time I dealt with it by being cold and abrasive because I didn’t want to hurt anymore. I remember being asked on a school trip, “Were you ever diagnosed with anything?” OUT OF NOWHERE. To this day, I wonder about that... And I don’t know if I should seek diagnosis. I probably should? I definitely need a therapist, that way I can talk this stuff out with a professional instead of rambling on a blog post just to try and calm down from a random anxiety attack. I remember classmates and chaperones resenting the fact that I got left behind on that trip because I didn’t want to jaywalk. So I had to get help from some local cops who set me up with a cab back to the hotel because I was lost and nobody thought to look if I was left behind. People would talk down to me all the time, too. Treat me like a child. And why? Because I liked cartoons? Because I’m asexual and aromantic? GOD. I remember classmates in middle school were SO OFFENDED by my asexuality, too. I recall this one girl being like, “you better get a boyfriend or people might think you’re a ~lesbian~”. ...okay, first of all. What if I was? I mean, I’m pretty sure I’m not- I don’t really feel that kinda attraction to anyone. But. There is NOTHING wrong with being gay, lesbian, bi, pan, trans, NB, etc, etc. THESE PEOPLE EXIST. People who are not straight and/or cis exist. And also, thirteen year olds acting like they NEED to rush into relationships... That’s. Extremely concerning to me. It always was. But I guess I was just... desensitized over time because of how sexualized the climate was during those days. And it wasn’t just at school.

I have a long history of RPing. When I was in middle school, I was basically pressured into RPing a nsfw situation by some castmates. I should have said no, but I was scared to. And I think, ultimately, that also led to me being desensitized. Because that stuff was everywhere. These were RPs with young teenagers AND adults as players and nobody put their foot down and said, “hey, maybe DON’T RP nsfw in a space with minors”. Nobody said LOCK those posts. Tag them nsfw. It was just there. Out in the open. I was fourteen. And I’m not here to say that all NSFW content is inherently bad or that every adult should constantly be monitoring every space. Internet strangers are not babysitters. I get that. But I do think it’s a problem when communities full of young teens AND adults are too lax on the former’s access to 18+ content. Because there’s a difference between someone ignoring age restrictions and warnings and accidentally coming across content or being pressured to participate in such content. Now. Over time, people wised up. Many of these communities DID eventually lock that stuff to 18+. But a lot of open meme and sandbox communities did not. There were posts that’d devolve into smut on a regular basis that weren’t tagged or properly warned. But because I’d been exposed to this kinda stuff for so many years- it didn’t hit me that there was a lack of moderation. I was taught that it just comes with the territory because “this is the internet.” So for a long time, I just... accepted that. “It’s the internet.” Even within the past few years, I held onto that mindset because... it was just. What I was used to. I didn’t like it, but I assumed that was just... how things go and to express otherwise was pointless. I still don’t condone online harassment and I do think people will take properly tagged fandom content way too far (even if I disagree WITH said content)- but this isn’t ABOUT that. Because properly tagged content establishes the boundaries that were so wholly lacking in these spaces. And the fact is, I don’t LIKE that I am/was desensitized. Because the truth is, I didn’t LIKE any of it. I didn’t like the scenario I was coerced into as a young teen through RP. I didn’t like how easy it was to just... stumble upon NSFW content on accident. It’s just... I dunno. I just don’t know, and I hate that I don’t know. I probably shouldn’t let it get to me. It’s just online stuff that happened ten to twelve years ago, right? It’s nowhere near as serious as the actual sexual abuse and the actual bullying... but I think it still affected me. And just like with my cousin before, I didn’t really... talk to anyone about it? It was a very different fandom climate. The early to late 2000′s were very different. And I think just... it bothers me. That it took this long for me to realize that maybe this stuff affected me after all. Like. I’m a CSA survivor and it only JUST now clicked that I am? What’s up with that? Like. I don’t know. I need a therapist. I think I’ve needed one for years given how often I fall victim to invasive thoughts, how often I get too scared to speak my mind, how eager I am to please EVERYONE and thus it is SO hard for me to confront people when I am upset or draw the line. I’m constantly worrying about hurting or upsetting people so sometimes I guess I’m cowardly. Because I guess it’s a coping mechanism I’ve developed? Just... avoiding. Turning a blind eye. That’s probably not okay either. But I think the root of it all really is just from my childhood. How going to adults when I was bullied or abused never seemed to DO anything. So maybe I just developed a worst case scenario mindset. I just don’t know, so that’s why I need some help. So I can just... work this all out. I guess a part of me is just a little scared. And that’s stupid. Why should I be scared of something that can only HELP me? Ranting on tumblr can only do so much. But for now, just getting it off my chest is the best I can do. It’s a start, anyway.

[kazziemuse]

Hey Arnold! The Jungle Movie - Review!

My History with Hey Arnold!

Hey Arnold! It’s about time! Before I dive into the Jungle Movie itself, a note from history and the person writing this review. At the time of this writing, I am 29 years old. Yes, I am a late 80’s baby! And with that, I grew up in the 90’s…When we didn’t all have cell phones, the internet, online multiplayer gaming, and going outside to explore was daily life. What else was good about the 90’s? The cartoons…and, one specifically? Hey Arnold.

I remember at the time, Hey Arnold was a new thing in 1996. It would air during a two-hour time slot dedicated to after school cartoons called CITV. My Nan would pick me up from school at 3:00pm, and we would be home by 3:30pm, just missing the first cartoon. That was ok though, because beyond all else, my favorite by far was Hey Arnold. I used to sit with my Nan watching, and because Hey Arnold was SUCH a real-life show, it got my curiosity running wild. There was so much in this show that grabbed me, that taught me and that made me feel certain emotions for the first time. I would spend hours thinking about episodes and bugging my nan with questions about what we just saw. It must have driven her crazy.

In the many years that I watched CITV after school, not many cartoons from that time period stood out to me as well, apart from of course…Hey Arnold. And, I have fond memories of watching it with my Nan who, sadly passed away in the year 2000. I was 12 years old.

Hey Arnold “concluded” a few years later. And while I still loved the show, I was starting to move onto other things. Still waiting for TJM which, never came. In those early days of dial up internet, it was hard to find information if you didn’t know what you were doing. And thus, I entered my teenage years with the Hey Arnold book closed…But, for how long?

Fast forward to my early mid-twenties. OMG life, right? Real life? This sucks. Crisis after crisis…Let’s try and dive back into something that gave me some good feelings and thoughts. I know! I will dive back into some cartoons…Lets rewatch some childhood favorites, such as Recess and Hey Arnold.

Re-watching the Hey Arnold series as an adult was like watching a different show entirely. The emotion, the truth about how life can be so cruel, the real world problems these characters faced and most of all, Helga’s undying love for Arnold which of course, I shipped immediately. After finishing the Journal, I was devastated to find out the story of TJM being cancelled. I researched, signed the petitions and with little hope of Hey Arnold ever coming back…I counted my blessings and moved on into other fandoms, which would consume the next 5-6 years in terms of obsessions.

It wasn’t until about two years ago, I stumbled across the news that TJM would happen. And honestly? I was excited but not ecstatic. I had moved on and completely obsessed with other fandoms. More TJM information started to fly around, and I slowly started to become obsessed again. It’s only really in the last year or so, that I have re-watched the whole series, followed the news and subscribed to YouTubers. And with that, I’m hooked again.

Leading up to The Jungle Movie

So, with my history with Hey Arnold covered, was that really important? Yes! Because like many of fans, it’s a story of growing up with this show and how returning to the things you loved can bring back the same happiness. But now it’s time to dive into The Jungle Movie!

Where to begin? Craig gave us so much insight to this movie to get one internally screaming! But, at the same time, he didn’t reveal too much as to give us the whole plot. The balance was truly perfect. We would have the answers that we wanted. Where are his parents, and would Arnold and Helga ever be?

SDCC 2017. The first sneak peek is shown and boy! I remember that afternoon so well. My heart was skipping beats watching. Look at this! Look at the animation, how spot on the voices are, look at how true they are to the original characters. It felt like an absolute dream! No revival can be this good? Can it? The more and more footage and screenshots that got released…The more and more I got obsessed and excited. Honestly, at first I wasn’t too keen on Arnold and Helga’s animation. I felt at times it was too different from the main series, especially Helga. That point aside, we were still getting The Jungle Movie soon! And I’m sure it’s not going to ruin anything for me. Hell, it might even grow on me!

In the leading months and weeks to TJM being aired, it had become my main obsession again. Craig’s weekly to daily Instagram posts became something I kept checking my phone for; the previews got me running from my desk at work to a toilet, so I could watch and fangirl in private. This was amazing! I knew this ship would soon be canon! But also, we would find out the answer to the biggest Hey Arnold Mystery of all time: Arnold’s parents.

By now, I was part of Facebook groups, being as active as possible in YouTubers live streams, meeting other fans at ComicCon, and the best part…Making friends within the Hey Arnold community. I was so ready for The Jungle Movie.

The Jungle Movie

As a 10-year-old watching the show back in season 1, I would’ve had a glass of orange juice. Now, as a 29-year-old watching the premier of The Jungle Movie for the first time, I had a glass of wine in hand. The movie kicked off, and the palpitations in my heart were disturbing my comfort. But I didn’t care, Arnold was back on my screen for the first time in many years.

The first dream sequence was painful and emotional. He finds them, but they keep leaving him? This must be a huge fear for him. The wine is needed and straight away this film is grabbing me, it had my emotions from the first scene. Buckle up girl…It’s going to be a long night! Arnold subsequently wakes up, and the main plot of the film is evident. But, this is a cartoon! Cartoons are meant to be funny! Luckily, Hey Arnold has that balance of comedy and emotion, because here enters Grandpa and Grandma to smooth over that first hill of feels. The boarders haven’t changed apart from a slight change in voice, but nothing that’s upsetting. And a pig eating bacon? No I quite agree, that is not ok haha!

With Arnold meeting Gerald on his stoop with friendship thumb wiggle, accompanied by familiar backing of jazz music, it’s apparent that Hey Arnold has kept that original vibe. And I couldn't be more excited to see what was in store! Like bumping into Helga in the next scene. Classic! Helga’s introduction into the movie was our typical old Helga. Leaving her temporary home at the beeper emporium while arguing with her father Bob.

The Jungle Movie has aged with the current time in terms of technology. The characters are only a year older from the original series. Beepers (or, pagers as they are known here in the UK) are not a ‘thing’ anymore with the ever-growing cell phone industry. A small but clever gag was Phoebe explaining what a beeper actually was to our younger audience watching. On another note, Bob’s company is failing as beepers are now obsolete. You get what you deserve Bob!

We see our main characters bump into each other just like tradition. Helga’s behavior hasn’t changed (thankfully). She is still love struck, but quickly raising her defensive walls (shout out to Francesca Marie Smith for keeping her character so true). But one thing that really struck me about this encounter was Arnold. He was reacting to her differently as he would in the original series. Instead of his normal frustration at Helga scolding him, he just smiles, offers to help her up and laughs to her attempts to push him away. “Whatever you say, Helga” with an almost flirtatious look on his face. Wait WAIT, why is he acting like this? Is this a call back to him knowing her feelings after the confession at FTi? Very interesting!

We move onto what seemed like a classic episode of Hey Arnold. Arnold and Gerald working as a team to win a contest. Helga scheming to help then win in a hope to win his affection, and ultimately them winning leading onto the main plot of the movie. I thought this was an incredibly clever call back. It was like being back in that Hey Arnold magic. It felt so true and pure to the original series.

Arnold Shortman, A 10-year-old signing his passport and confirming a long term mystery of his surname. Which was right under our noses for the last 20 years. So, Mr. Shortman, you promised your Grandpa not to search for your long lost parents. Your grandma is hilariously dressed up as a Jungle explorer. Keeping her wacky antics is nothing but a pleasure to watch. Are you ready to go? What could possibly go wrong?

Olga is coming! What could possibly be worse for Helga? Again, the writing stays true to the original show. Helga living in Olga’s shadow and being neglected by her father in favor of Olga. Sad but true. I feel that the amount of neglect Helga experiences from her dysfunctional family reflects on the way she feels her emotions so strongly. She has a lot of love to give and just wants to be loved in return. She is so used to disappointment and neglect which is why she puts up her defensive walls and bullies people away. She doesn’t want to get hurt. The only thing she can express is anger. I feel that is why it is so difficult for her to show the real love filled Helga. She is expressing herself in the only way she knows possible that will keep her safe. But over time we see her brave enough to let her true self seep through…More on this later!

We see our favorite class of PS 118 saying goodbye to parents and loved ones. A huge call out to Mr. Simmons, who is saying goodbye to his gay partner. We don’t see LGBT awareness much in cartoons. As someone who is part of the LGBT community myself, I felt this was a very warming addition. Thank you Craig and team! On the subject of Mr. Simmons… How hilarious was he with his agenda? From the fictional city of Hillwood, to the fictional country of San Lorenzo, my friends, welcome to the jungle.

Here we are guys, after how many years, speculation and imagination…We are finally here with Arnold and his class in San Lorenzo! But remember to be at the docks at 3:00pm to catch the boat down river. Our captain is Eduardo; anything suspicious about him? Many of us from the get-go were suspicious about “Eduardo.” Now here he is, in front of us ready to pilot this boat, and straight away he is fixated on Arnold. And what the hell did he say about tuna anyway? (Yes, I know it was Fortune ;)) Sure, it COULD be his parent’s best friend. We don’t actually have any recent images of him and he may have aged…I mean…He seems friendly, welcoming and genuine. So far anyway, right? But we all know…this “Eduardo” fellow has a huge part to play and we all know it’s not going to be in Arnold’s favor.

It’s our PS118 students as funny as they were 15 year ago. And, I for one am so happy to see them keeping us entertained with their old antics. Arnold, however, is away from his friends and with “Eduardo,” speaking of his parents and hoping to find some answers. But remember, he promised not to go looking for them and Arnold is a boy of his word…right?

I felt Arnold was more out of character than anyone in this movie. But who can blame him? He has the opportunity that he has waited for his whole life: to find his missing parents. With such an opportunity, Arnold takes a risk under false assumptions, which inevitably leads himself and his friends to danger.

Speaking of Arnold being out of character and his development…something stuck out to me and few other fans about his behavior towards certain friends. We see Arnold obviously concerned for his friends’ safety and how he is struggling to keep composed after he is sworn to secrecy by “Eduardo.” Gerald, his best friend of whom Arnold never hides anything from, is the first to confront him. And to my shock, Arnold hides the truth even though Gerald is not oblivious to the fact something is going on…Arnold?

Instead, Arnold opens up to Helga…HELGA. And poor Helga…she has struck up the courage to finally (and again) confront Arnold about her feelings. Hoping that her efforts to get him there to San Lorenzo had nudged at his heart strings, Helga is frustrated when Arnold opens up about his fears of getting his friends in danger while he plans to look for his parents. Again, he opens up to Helga, and not Gerald. Is this maybe a sign of his feelings and trust in her?

We can understand Helga’s frustration and feels of rejection when Arnold dodges out again of her confession. Even though technically, they were having two completely separate conversations. Helga takes this as the last straw. To all of our gasps, she gives up all hope of Arnold retuning her feelings and destroys the most precious thing in her possession since day 1: her heart shaped locket of Arnold. Devastating right? Brainy?

The vibe of the movie is certainly starting to take a turn into unfamiliar territory. Craig Bartlett said, “Friendships will be tested,” and I guess, these are those tests. When you think things couldn't go anymore wrong for our gang, well…it does. They are attacked by river pirates. Eduardo, claiming Lasombra is behind the attack, tells Arnold to hide and forget about his friends…hmm…still trust him, Arnold? By this point, any trust I had in this guy was completely gone.

Epic sword battles, fights and rapids. Our PS 118 friends take the most dramatic journey of their lifetime. Clinging on for dear life, we are all on the edge of our seats hoping that no one falls overboard…Even Curly, who is having the time of his life up on the crows nest. After a rough ride, we end up ship wrecked. We can breathe a sigh of relief that no one is thrown overboard, apart from poor Eugene. But who didn’t see that one coming? But never fear, He’s ok! As he is his own lifeboat.

With some truths coming to light about Arnold being involved with why the attack happened, trust and friendships begin to suffer. It was heart breaking seeing Arnold being avoided by his friends…Only “Eduardo” there to help him up during their long-suffering hike to the safety of the camp. But for me, Rhonda absolutely stole the spotlight here… Come one, We are all Rhonda…taking selfies, refusal to part with one’s luggage and being absolutely traumatized at the thought of hiking through the jungle. Her reactions and deliverance had me laughing so hard. That is certainly something I would like to see more of in Hey Arnold future.

The montage of our PS 118 class traveling through the jungle was a chance to demonstrate some of our characters individually. It was fun to see Nadine having the time of her life collecting weird and wonderful bugs, Sid crying on the floor after the unfortunate demise of his beetle boots (good call back there), and Rhonda struggling to just do…well anything. These kids never fail to make me laugh, even today! They all have something special and individual about them.

We are about halfway through the movie now, and if you made it this far, thank you for sticking with me! Now, let’s move on to what we have suspected all along…“Eduardo,” right? Wrong…if you didn’t suspect something of this guy, then go back and watch again, because this guy had something about him from the get-go. Our “Eduardo” is actually none other than the film’s villain…Lasombra. DUN DUN DUNNNNNN.

We then learn the true intentions of the class trip to San Lorenzo. It was all a scheme conducted by Lasombra just to get Arnold there. Unfortunately for our football headed amigo…he’s already put a lot of his trust in this guy. And he was wrong to trust someone who won’t give out a Wi-Fi password.

As the story continues, I felt nothing but mixed emotions. I found myself laughing, and then soon wiping tears from my eyes. We have so many sad moments that tug at our heart strings. Helga’s monologues expressing her love for Arnold have always been some of the most rewarding scenes from the whole Hey Arnold series. The writing and deliverance from Francesca is nothing short of spectacular, and let’s face it. We’ve all been there! Arnold giving up whilst in-prisoned hit me so hard. His voice was full of regret and defeat. Arnold, the boy who is always so optimistic, has given up.

It takes Helga to talk him out of his depressive state, and to accept the challenges ahead of them. Helga is already sticking to her guns and coming out of her comfort zone to assist Arnold. Seeing her comforting him and really being there to offer her support, which Arnold accepts is just so heart-warming! A sign of things to come with these two? Maybe.

Secret pathways, using beepers to create a homing beacon, and a pig eating shrimp cocktail in first class? The only thing missing from this movie is violence…wait no, it’s got that as well. I was surprised to see such brutal deaths of Lasombra’s guards. Although it’s kept fairly ‘clean’ with no blood (thankfully), we do see a guy getting hit by multiple arrows, one guy plummet to his death, and another bunch of guys getting crushed by rocks. That’s quite a few on screen ‘implied’ deaths. Who said TJM had no action?

I doubt this movie could mess me up more than it already had, but boy was I wrong. The emotions were about to kick into overdrive, and I have only had 1/4 bottle of wine left by the time Arnold, Helga and Gerald had found the Green Eyes. The answers to all our questions of the past fifteen years were soon to be revealed. As a long time fan of the show, it was so special getting to see these mysterious beings for the first time. The way they acted, spoke, lived and looked was something one could only imagine for all this time. Not only were we about to get our answers, but so was Arnold.

The hidden city of the Green Eyes was absolutely spectacular. The animation and the amount of detail put into this habitat was an eye saw which dropped jaws. We soon learn of the heartbreak that happened to this society: the adults were all asleep…for the past nine years! While nine years of sleep sounds like a luxury to most of us, joking aside, for these kids they have been functioning on their own for all that time. We start to learn about the final moments recorded of Arnold’s parents: the murals. WOW, was this hard-hitting. It’s the first sign of his parents that this poor kid has had in years, and you can tell just how desperate he is for answers.

The final pieces of the puzzle were starting to fall in place. It was just down to Arnold to do that final act. The problem being, it’s still a puzzle. And Arnold has no idea what to do. Before he can even start to figure it out…yep, what we were all waiting for: Lasombra.

Now, how many of you expected a young chief to throw a blade at Lasombra…A BLADE. I mean how badass was that? Followed by our trio and gang of Green Eyes kicking the wind out of this guy, unfortunately he was armed with a sword, and no one wants to go up against that unarmed. So, we all know what’s going to happen now. Lasombra is going to take what he came for with Arnold in tow.

Dragging an unwilling Arnold by his side, Lasombra reaches the (classic) rickety old wooden footbridge with the certain death plunge below. As they cross, we see Helga and Gerald appear behind them. Despite Arnold’s warnings and pleads, Helga and Gerald continue without any considering for their own safety. I mean wow, this thing is hanging by a thread, and these two kids are attempting to cross just to save Arnold. Can we get a round of applause for completely bravery and loyalty here? But this is a cartoon, that bridge won’t snap right? RIGHT?

Arnold has a dilemma in front of him. He has to solve this puzzle fast before his friends plummet to their deaths. OK that’s cool…it’s not like I’m already on the edge of my seat or anything. Arnold faces the Corazón with his amulet in tow. Sweat pouring down his head and full of determination to save his friends, we see his green eye tracing the steps needed to unlock the treasure inside. Once unlocked, Arnold is pushed to aside and Lasombra looks directly at the heart of gold in all of its pure beauty. Unfortunately for him…he is not as pure and ends up with a poisonous dart in his forehead.

Screaming in pain and heading for the cliff edge which, he inevitably falls off, (yeah byeeeee). Arnold is finally free to help his friends who are still clinging on for dear life. Our hero slips, falls and only just manages to grab onto the same plank Gerald and Helga are clinging onto. Now, top up that glass of wine here guys, because this is where is I almost downed a whole glass. Arnold and Helga meet each others eyes and they just widen. You didn’t need any dialog to know what was going through their heads here. Arnold was finally seeing Helga for her true self, her bravery, her loyalty and that she really does love him. Here they are about to die, and all of this is too late to act upon. They just stare at one another waiting to die, talking only with their eyes. Would somebody please throw them a life line before I jump at my TV?

That life line is finally delivered from the REAL Eduardo, and I can finally breath. There is hope! One thing that grabbed me about what happens next, while Eduardo starts explaining what has happened and how he has been following them. Helga is taken in by the Corazón. Now, I remember back in The Journal, Miles stating to not to look directly into it because they say it’s too sacred. But yet here is our girl Helga…mesmerized and staring directly at it with her hands placed on her heart. No poisonous darts being fired at her. Yes…I was worried for a moment there.

Of course, Lasrombra isn’t dead and climbs his way back up the mountain to finish what he started. With the two fully grown adults getting into a fight over a mustache, pushed and thrown. Helga is the first to run in to assist dragging a bag to place over Lasrombra’s head and using her fist “Old Betsy” to smash him in the face a good few times. This girl is just outstanding and an overall badass. Unfortunately, we see the Corazón fall off the cliff edge to be lost(?). Lasombra finally meets his ends once the poison takes its final effect and he once again falls to his death. “He died like he lived, full of poison.” 10/10 for the sass there Eduardo.

From one heart wrenching scene to another. Now, with Eduardo in tow, he is able to translate the native Green Eye’s language. Once back at the hidden city, Arnold is finally told his parents are there, and that the Green eyes will take them to where they lie. Um, Excuse me? Where they LIE? Could that mean? No…you can’t do this to me…after all these years and the last hour of pure emotional feelings. You’re now going to tell me they are laying there peacefully? I honestly by this point was on invested into the story being told that I hadn’t put two and two together like most of you have already. Instead, I was off my sofa bitterly nose to my TV in suspense to finally find out what happened. As Arnold entered the room, seeing them there pale-faced, sleeping so peacefully hand in hand…I whispered no to myself while a stream of tears started running down my face. I was literally Arnold by this point. After all those years here they are…And here is Arnold seeing them for the first time.

“Are they-?” No, It’s the sleeping sickness. OF COURSE! Wait that means…they are alive? They are alive? I actually laughed as I let out a small laugh in relief. And no, I really didn’t catch on that they had caught the sleeping sickness, not in 15 years. As it was explained that the Corazón was the cure, my heart fell again. But no, it can’t end like this, There HAS to be a way right? Seeing Arnold crying over his parents’ lifeless bodies while Helga and Gerald look on in complete shock was heart breaking. But of course, our girl Helga has a solution.

I honestly didn’t know how Helga would fix this. They knew what they needed and what they had to do. But, they had lost the Corazón. When Helga approached Arnold with a possible solution, I fully expected her to hand him the Corazón. I thought maybe she had taken it while she was staring at it. That was the only thing my mind could muster in those few seconds. I never expected her to open out her hands and present Arnold her golden locket with his picture in. That object that has been a huge symbol of her life for so many years, she is sacrificing so much in that one moment. It’s not only her most precious possession, it’s her true identity. Everything she has kept hidden and inside for so long was out on offer to help Arnold.

This selfless act was causing more and more tears to flow from my eyes. I later thought about this more in depth and theorized the following: Helga mentions her locket is just gold plated and it’s not pure of heart. Now, how would Helga know the Corazón was a pure heart? And anything in its place would need to be pure? Because she stared into the Corazón and felt that pureness. This is why I think she didn’t get a poisonous dart shot at her. Because of that connection with pure hearts, and Helga’s heart is a pure as they get.

Helga doesn’t think highly enough of herself to feel that her locket will work. It takes Arnold to give her that push in confidence and guys, this couldn’t have been more cuter or tear jerking if they tried. “I think your heart is more pure than you know.” He finally understands her.

Pure hearts, loyalty, dedication, love, friendship, determination and Brainy being a saint in retrieving Helga’s locket got us to where we are now. We are about to witness what we have all wanted from Hey Arnold in so many years. Helga’s locket worked, and the cure rains down upon those in deep slumber. Butterflies start to flourish as the cure takes effect. Does that mean? Arnold runs to his parents’ chamber with the most dramatic heart sobbing music in the background. This was it, finally the moment we had all be waiting for, his parents…Arnold parents, of whom have been missing for nine years with no contact. In front of Arnold eyes, they wake from a deep slumber and the first thing they see is their baby. Hey, Arnold. His eyes replicate my own as he runs towards them. He did it, and I couldn’t be more happy even though I was a sobbing mess with no wine left.

The story was concluded. The mystery which lingered for over a decade was now solved. Arnold stood with his parents and celebrated along with the Green Eyes. Miles and Stella’s work was finally complete. It’s a sight we all wished we could see for so long. But our hero wasn’t there? And even after just being reunited with his parents, Arnold noticed Helga sneaking off. Helga was trying to retrieve her locket, which I thought was both a funny and sweet touch. Because after everything, that locket still symbolizes so much to her. After being interrupted by Arnold, Helga still tries to put on her tough girl front and hides her true self still, but Arnold is no longer blind to who Helga really is. With his words, we know that Arnold is seeing through her, seeing the real Helga and finally, after seeing her being so brave, loyal and willing to give up so much for him, he is ready to accept her love.

Even though Arnold didn’t outright say how he feels about Helga, I am a true believer of actions speak louder than words. We have seen how Arnold has acted towards Helga his entire movie. He silenced Helga, she literally had no come or no way out for the first time ever. His act of confirming how he feels about her is sweet beyond words. He takes her hands and offers her a mutual kiss like a true gentleman. The two of them share a moment with their lips locked, and it couldn’t be more beautiful. I was almost angry when Gerald walked interrupted the moment.

The adventure was over. Arnold wakes up in his bed and he is immediately concerned. Oh no you don’t, do not tell me that was all a dream. I am screaming profanity at my TV whilst a near identical scene is played from the beginning of the movie. Was that really all a dream? Please for the love of raspberries no. Please, please no. Arnold’s eyes widen and fill with tears when he thinks that it was indeed just a dream. But they wouldn’t do that to us…and in come Miles and Stella with breakfast for our forever moaning group of boarders. We have never seen Arnold so happy, Wide smiles and dancing on the spot at the sight of his parents back home. I must admit, I really did hold my breath for a second there!

Seeing Miles and Stella home and comforting Arnold is something I never thought I would see. And here it was. It was the sweetest conclusion and satisfying conclusion to the longest story. I would love to see them spend time together, but it’s the worst day of school. Repeating from one of the first scenes of the movie, we see Arnold and Gerald meeting Helga and Phoebe on the corner. But THIS time, things are a little different. There’s no classic bumping into one another. Gerald and Phoebe lead the way hand and hand leaving Arnold and Helga wondering if they should follow suite. While Arnold does attempt this making Helga (and all of us watching) swoon. Helga still ups her defenses and grabs her hand back. I can understand why people would questions her actions here, but I’m kind of happy they left that part of Helga in. This is still her character and she is not going to change overnight. She still keeps her guard up and she has a lot to learn in accepting Arnold’s effect in public. Still, the fact that she smiles as she walks off is a huge development. And don’t worry folks, Arnold isn’t put off by her…he runs after her with that same flirtatious smiley face.

A nice final touch is Arnold’s parents missing him and offering to walk him to school. That final look from Arnold as he enters his school with all his friends and Mr. Simmons declaring he still has a job after the jungle ordeal…that look in his eyes, looking back at his parents looking for him, waiting for him. And that smile knowing that they are never going to leave him again. THAT my friends is how you end a movie.

Conclusion

Nothing is perfect, but the Jungle Movie sure offers some closure. Every time I watch this film, I notice something new. The amount of detail in the background is admirable. They are like paintings. The texture, the colour, the ambience of them is just beautiful. The background animation of characters is incredibly detailed. Instead of just having a still image, I constantly found background characters to be animated and reacting, especially Helga.

The music in this film was gripping, and well suited for the story. A mixture of classic Hey Arnold style Jazz and hip-hop. South American Latin, full orchestral pieces. The emotion was most certainly intensified with the music backing. Hats off to Jim Lang. In cartoon revivals, one thing that is difficult to recreate are those voices. I can honestly say the returning cast and new cast did an absolute fantastic task of both recreating and advancing the characters. It was like watching an old and new show at the same time.

Overall, The Jungle Movie was everything an old school fan like myself could have hoped for. I am not only incredibly satisfied with what we have been given but, I am also thrilled for those who worked on this project for so many years. The creator, Craig Bartlett and his team and the fans who campaigned to make this happen. It’s a fine example of determination, love and appreciation for one another, which isn’t expressed much in today’s world. I am so happy with The Jungle Movie, and I finally have my closure from this epic story.

I can bet, if my Nan were still around today, she would be the one asking me all the questions. And, while I type up my final words, I feel a small part her sitting with me for the first time in many years.

[crazy-noonoohead]

So no one told you life was gonna be this way. *CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP!*

I’ve spent the past two months re-watching all of Friends from beginning to end (that’s right, all ten seasons in two months), and I just finished the series a couple of days ago. This was a project I had wanted to take on for a while now (and yes, binge-watching a TV show totally counts as a project, especially one that ran as long as Friends), and thanks to Netflix, I was finally able to do it. Friends is the first TV show that I remember ending. I spent most of my childhood under the assumption that TV shows just kept going until they got abruptly cancelled or the entire cast died of old age, but then the words “series finale” entered my life. Watching it now is a very different experience than watching it when it was on TV, and I have some thoughts.

Things that don’t hold up (I forgive these things because we were a lot less conscious of them in the 90s/early 2000s than we are now, but it’s still important to acknowledge the parts that would be considered offensive if the show had been written in this decade):

*Awful lot of straight, white, cisgender, thin people in New York City. In ten seasons, I think there have been three interracial relationships, and two involved the same person outside of the friend group (Ross and Julie, Joey and Charlie, Ross and Charlie). If I missed any, someone please let me know.

*Toxic masculinity. A lot of the jokes in this show give me an “LOL STRAIGHT MEN DOING SOMETHING FEMININE” vibe now (nap buddies, Chandler calling Joey a woman when he gets into potpourri, Chandler and Joey worrying if they hug too often). If those same jokes were in a script today, I would want them to make fun of the internalized toxic masculinity instead of making fun of the actions themselves. Although, in the episode where Ross freaks out about Ben having a Barbie doll, his side is clearly written as the wrong one, so they get points for that.

*Body shaming jokes. This one gets more of a pass, because even Monica joked about how she used to be overweight (“I WAS the pile of coats!”), but a lot of the comments about her past appearance would be criticized a lot more heavily today. Unfortunately, this is still an issue in media, but I think viewers are more likely to call TV shows out on it now than we were then.

*Ross’ jealous, controlling tendencies were written as funny quirks. Now I know to stay away from people who have those qualities as strongly as Ross does. That’s not endearing. That leads to unhealthy relationships.

*Trigger warning: Sexual assault.    They completely made light of the fact that Joey’s tailor sexually assaulted him for most of his life. While I admit I still laughed at the “That’s not how they do pants!” line, I don’t think a network would even dream of having that happen to any of the women on the show. Also, Paolo didn’t “make a move on” Phoebe. What he did was harassment.

*Semi-related to the last one, there was the occasional comment about characters liking certain celebrities who were later revealed to have sexually harassed and/or assaulted people. I 100% don’t fault the writers for this because they couldn’t have known, but watching now, with that knowledge, I definitely had some “...Oh” moments. Of course now I can’t think of any examples, but I know I’ve gotten that feeling a few times.

*With the exception of Rachel, everyone starts the show with stable jobs and enough financial security to live independently in nice apartments in their mid/late 20s. REALLY? Maybe that was easier in the 90s, but it wasn’t THAT easy. I’m now older than these characters were at the beginning of the series, and very few of my friends have moved out of their parents’ houses. Our 20s aren’t as grown up as we used to think.

Things that totally still hold up:

*Everyone’s comedic timing! They may not be the greatest, most versatile actors ever (I still see their Friends characters in other roles they’ve played), but they’re still very funny and they delivered their lines and reactions in just the right ways.

*The bittersweet, mostly-feel-good, classic sitcom ending. Its series finale had every quality most people would expect and want, and while most of my favorite series finales don’t wrap everything up neatly, this one did so in a good, effective way. I do have that “one coupling in a TV friend group is enough” mindset, and I even thought that when I first watched the finale at 13, but I still wasn’t bothered by Rachel getting off the plane. Although, I cared more that it would be easier for Ross to see Emma than I did about his relationship with Rachel.

*Their willingness not to shy away from some of the more serious life events, obviously aside from the one I mentioned earlier in this note. The best example is when Monica and Chandler found out they probably couldn’t have children. This was one of the only times Chandler didn’t try to lighten the mood with a joke, because it was a big deal and had to be treated as such. Showing the difficulty of the adoption process added to this, because while I may not have personal experience in the matter (yet), I know it’s not easy.

*Alternatively, finding the humor in serious situations. Phoebe had a very disturbing past, but the way she talked about it so casually is still funny. No one’s laughing at her mom’s death (hopefully), but the show allows us to laugh at her willingness to joke about it...and use it to guilt-trip people into giving her what she wants.

*How quickly Chandler accepted his dad after going to his show. I don’t think his issues were ever with his dad being gay, but more that he left, and the person he left for also happened to be a man. Yes, there were jokes about his dad wearing dresses in public, but of course that bothered him as a child, because kids in elementary and middle school are mean and used that to make fun of him. Allowing himself to move past that and reconnect with his dad after years of not speaking was a great moment in the series, and again, wasn’t played as a joke. Something funny probably happened immediately after that, but the moment itself was taken seriously.

*So many things are still relatable. The struggles of finding a job, eventually finding a new job you really love, finding meaningful romantic relationships (for those of you who are interested in those), etc. will always be relevant. Watching Rachel’s journey from someone who still relied on her parents’ money to someone with enough financial independence has a lot more meaning to me now than it did when the show first aired.

*Going back to Ross being jealous and controlling, I like that Rachel got mad and called him out instead of immediately forgiving him because it meant that he cares about her. His actions may have made the audience laugh, but he still didn’t get away with it.

*Despite the lack of non-white characters, the few interracial relationships just were. Julie happened to be Asian and Charlie happened to be black, and no one made a thing out of it.

*All six characters have both flattering and not so flattering qualities, and you never doubt that they genuinely care about each other. I don’t think I need to elaborate any more.

Other random thoughts:

*I’m definitely the most like Phoebe, but I have Chandler’s sarcastic humor, as well as some aspects of Monica in the way I like some things organized.

*I want a CD of all of Phoebe’s songs. “Smelly Cat” is still better than the entire score to [show title redacted].

*A lot of cool celebrity cameos/guest stars, most of which are people I wouldn’t start recognizing until years later! (Hank Azaria, Jane Lynch, Billy Crystal, Robin Williams, Ellen Pompeo, Ron Glass, Mae Whitman, and Danny DeVito, to name a few.)*I never watched Mad About You, but now that I know Ursula is a character on that show, I appreciate the cross-over.

*There’s a fan theory that Ross has Asperger’s, and I’m into it.

*Rachel ordering the lobster on her date with Joey was definitely a shout-out to “He’s her lobster” back in the second season, her getting sick from what she thought was the lobster was an indication that they didn’t belong together, and her getting sick right before she has an affair with him in the alternate universe episode proves that even more (shout-out to my friend Tracy for bringing that last part to my attention), and nothing will convince me otherwise.

*To help myself ease out of the withdrawal, I started watching Joey. It’s not as bad as I remember people saying it was, but...it’s not that good. With the exception of Joey, the characters are pretty one-dimensional, and a lot of the jokes feel forced. The fact that I only remembered two things from the show (memorizing a monologue but performing it at the wrong play, and presenting an award to the wrong person YEARS BEFORE STEVE HARVEY DID IT) says a lot about its quality. As much as I love Joey, I think the wrong friend got the spin-off. The one I’d really like to see is about Phoebe’s life before she met the rest of the group. Just like she always does, she’d be able to find the humor even in the toughest of times, and I think it would be a very interesting story.

*I still hear, “we’d come up to poop in your ear” instead of, “your week, your month, or even your year,” despite knowing better.

*They were most definitely, without a single doubt, on a break.

So parts of Friends didn’t age well, but 10-20 years from now, we’ll be saying the same thing about beloved TV shows from this decade. And in my personal opinion, the parts that did age well outweigh the parts that didn’t, which is why I love it just as much now as I did back then. I’m thrilled that after all these years, it’s still there for me, like it’s been there before.

[melodymgill49801]

RIP China Chalet, Manhattan's Greatest Queer Nightlife Utopia

When DJ and nightlife entrepreneur Ty Sunderland created his flagship gay party, he envisioned stripper poles—an homage to the music video for Britney Spears’ 2007 single “Gimme More.” “But no strip club was going to let a gay promoter come in on a Friday night in New York City,” Sunderland recalls. “I asked if I could install stripper poles on the dance floor at China Chalet, and they said, ‘Yeah, totally.’ That’s how Heaven on Earth started.” 

One of the most beloved queer events in New York City in recent years, Heaven on Earth would also rank among the last of the great parties thrown at China Chalet, which shuttered last  month in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic. Opened in 1975, the two-story Cantonese dim sum restaurant was the last of its kind in many ways. For one, it was one of the only remaining full-service, multi-room dim sum banquet halls in the Wall Street area, but most famously, it was one of only DIY party venues in Manhattan where New York City nightlife could be everything it’s been promised to be since Studio 54: liberating, inclusive, and spontaneous. 

It’s unclear when, exactly, China Chalet started moonlighting as a nightclub, even to those who worked there toward the end. (Following the venue’s closing, owner Keith Ng has declined to comment for press.) Alex Kellogg, the venue’s party booker at the time it closed, says he’d heard of parties rumored to have been thrown there by Madonna in the 80s, but that the venue’s most prolific era began in the late 2000s. In the last decade, the venue was visited by the likes of the Olsen twins, Timothée Chalamet, and Jay-Z—plus, pretty much any young person who went out in New York City.  

“Anyone could come, and you could do anything you wanted,” Kellogg recalls of his first impression of the space, at a party thrown by _Sex Magazine_’s Asher Penn in 2013. “There was no one specific ‘genre’ of people. It wasn’t like when you went to a Bushwick party and you didn’t look DIY techno, so they didn’t accept you. Skaters could show up in ripped jeans, and then Alexander Wang could walk in behind them. And they’d be on the same level. Or you’d see Chloe Sevigny there, dressed in a bucket T-shirt and jeans drinking whiskey at the bar.” 

Photo by Megan Walschlager

The end of the aughts was an inflection point for nightlife. As the moment of downtown stalwarts like Beatrice Inn and Bungalow 8 began to fade in 2009 amid the backdrop of the financial crisis, the city’s cool kids decamped to various new stomping grounds, from old-school holdovers like Indochine and Lucien to warehouses in far Brooklyn. In Manhattan, temporary pop-up arrangements helped party-throwers find loopholes around the city’s draconian nightlife laws.

By 2011, the New York Times waxed of China Chalet’s instantly recognizable “chintzy floral carpet and pagoda paintings” in a trend feature on fashion-and-art–scene pop-up clubs, which also included Madame Wong’s, an exclusive party once hosted in the Chinatown establishment Golden Unicorn. The same year, The Observer documented an indie film after-party at China Chalet with an attendance of “ex-pat jet setters, debauched hipsters, and local lowlifes.” And the fashion house Opening Ceremony collaborated with homegrown psych rock band Gang Gang Dance for an album release party at the restaurant. 

Curtis Everett Pawley, musician and co-founder of the party-label 38 NYC, recalls seeing China Chalet for the first time at that Opening Ceremony party, noting that in the mid 2010s, the venue evolved from a fashion insider hideaway to a mainstay for local electronic music fans. In 2014, Pawley met Kellogg at the China Chalet while the latter was hosting a New York City offshoot of London’s experimental JACK댄스 party featuring performers like Doss and Stadium. 

“I don’t know how to describe the scene at JACK댄스—it was just a lot of people from the internet,” Pawley says. “But it was distinctly different from a warehouse party and other electronic DJ-oriented underground stuff that happened in Brooklyn. There was a Manhattan contingency that didn’t really venture into Brooklyn or maybe weren’t even into electronic music. The crowd was more diverse.”

Part of this broad appeal had to do with the functional and physical layout of the space. For first-timers, China Chalet would reveal itself one part at a time, starting with a steep entry stairwell that led into a main dining room, for lounging and gossipping, and finally through a mirrored hallway onto a packed dance floor—which was notoriously known to shake under the weight of hundreds jumping in unison. Then, there was the venue's far-flung location, which only contributed to its off-the-grid allure. And of course, there was the marvelously relaxed policy on cigarettes and other typical club contraband. 

“There was an air of freedom that everyone just instantly knew,” Pawley explains. “If you had even been there once, you understood it. It was a weird oasis away from the typical nightlife setting. Our parties were all over the map—it wasn’t ever pure techno or house. We didn’t want to overly aestheticize them to curate any certain crowd.” 

Photo by Tom Keelan

In the late 2010s, such a blank canvas would attract an increasingly diverse cast of revelers, spurred on by a new guard of social media-powered creative voices in the city. Nightlife photographer Megan Walschlager recalls visiting China Chalet for the first time to attend Club Glam, the fashion it-kid affair launched in 2016 by the powerhouse collective of DJ-artist Dese Escobar and siblings, celebrity stylist Kyle Luu, and influencer Fiffany Luu. Escobar told the Times earlier this year that the trio wanted to create a party that was distinctly “post-identity, meaning that it’s not strictly queer or straight, young or old.” 

“Club Glam was iconic—I remember they threw a ‘granny ball’ and people over 30 got in free, which I always found wonderfully funny,” Walschlager says, adding that there was a built-in sense of community at Glam. “People felt more at home at China Chalet because the venue let party planners use the space as their canvas, so everyone felt very relaxed. Security was pretty chill, and it was easy to get a drink at the bar, so it felt more communal.” 

During its three-year reign, Club Glam was a pioneer in its own right, offering a fresh approach to nightlife that united identities and industries without conforming to their norms. Themed events were announced just a few days ahead of time, and lines frequently rounded the block. The party’s organic aggregation of interdisciplinary creatives often draws comparison to the long-gone clubs of New York City nightlife’s storied past. 

The venue’s reputation in the queer community was further mainstreamed by the 2017 launch of Ty Sunderland’s Heaven on Earth, which drew the likes of RuPaul’s Drag Race winner Aquaria, Balmain creative director Olivier Rousteing, and transgender pop icon Kim Petras. (As Sunderland retells it, the latter once famously grabbed the mic for an impromptu performance of her latest single.) The party would continue through 2020, with its last iteration taking place in February.

To this day, Sunderland credits the owner, Keith Ng, for his open-mindedness in allowing the party to thrive. “From 10 p.m. to midnight, we got to live our stripper-pole fantasies—no questions asked,” Sunderland says. “There were 400 gay men there on a weekend night. That’s hard to find in New York City in most places unless they’re LGBT establishments.” Kellogg, who first introduced Sunderand to Ng, adds of the China Chalet staff: “The coat-check girls would say, ‘Oh my god—there are so many pretty boys running around.’ They loved it.” 

Photo by Serichai Traipoom

For young queer people, including queer people of color, Sunderland’s party filled a much-needed void in gay nightlife far from the insularity of Hell’s Kitchen. Sunderland’s hosts were predominantly performers, artists, and partygoers of marginalized identities, explains drag queen Ruby Fox, who was known to captivate the dance floor at Heaven on Earth with an acrobatic routine between two stripper poles. 

“The artistry I push out into the world comes from the emotions I pull from people around me,” Fox says. “At China Chalet, in such close quarters, it was really exhilarating because I’m getting so much energy and so many positive vibes, whether that was spiritual or just a brain thing. But I would feel the wavelengths off of people to the point where I’d be like the Energizer bunny.” 

As COVID-19 brings an untimely end to tens of thousands of restaurants and bars across America, it’s hard not to feel as though a chapter of nightlife has closed. And while restaurants and other food purveyors are struggling to lobby for assistance, nightlife proprietors have even fewer options to obtain funding. That’s not to mention the thousands of freelancers and gig workers—performers, DJs, and party planners—who make their living by creating these spaces for community and expression. 

“It's funny—when quarantine hit, all of us who work in live music were all stressed about how our venues were going to stay open,” Pawley remembers. “I remember thinking, ‘At least we’ll always have China Chalet.’ That’s why its closing is such a hard blow. I really thought it would be the last thing standing.” 

But while China Chalet deserved a more fitting end—maybe one final party to commemorate its legacy—Pawley says what made it special is the creativity it fostered and the connections it created. “To this day, I met so many of my closest friends at China Chalet,” he says. “We’re all still friends. I really believe all the people in New York City are what made the parties great. I don’t think that energy will die.”

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RIP China Chalet, Manhattan's Greatest Queer Nightlife Utopia

When DJ and nightlife entrepreneur Ty Sunderland created his flagship gay party, he envisioned stripper poles—an homage to the music video for Britney Spears’ 2007 single “Gimme More.” “But no strip club was going to let a gay promoter come in on a Friday night in New York City,” Sunderland recalls. “I asked if I could install stripper poles on the dance floor at China Chalet, and they said, ‘Yeah, totally.’ That’s how Heaven on Earth started.” 

One of the most beloved queer events in New York City in recent years, Heaven on Earth would also rank among the last of the great parties thrown at China Chalet, which shuttered last  month in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic. Opened in 1975, the two-story Cantonese dim sum restaurant was the last of its kind in many ways. For one, it was one of the only remaining full-service, multi-room dim sum banquet halls in the Wall Street area, but most famously, it was one of only DIY party venues in Manhattan where New York City nightlife could be everything it’s been promised to be since Studio 54: liberating, inclusive, and spontaneous. 

It’s unclear when, exactly, China Chalet started moonlighting as a nightclub, even to those who worked there toward the end. (Following the venue’s closing, owner Keith Ng has declined to comment for press.) Alex Kellogg, the venue’s party booker at the time it closed, says he’d heard of parties rumored to have been thrown there by Madonna in the 80s, but that the venue’s most prolific era began in the late 2000s. In the last decade, the venue was visited by the likes of the Olsen twins, Timothée Chalamet, and Jay-Z—plus, pretty much any young person who went out in New York City.  

“Anyone could come, and you could do anything you wanted,” Kellogg recalls of his first impression of the space, at a party thrown by _Sex Magazine_’s Asher Penn in 2013. “There was no one specific ‘genre’ of people. It wasn’t like when you went to a Bushwick party and you didn’t look DIY techno, so they didn’t accept you. Skaters could show up in ripped jeans, and then Alexander Wang could walk in behind them. And they’d be on the same level. Or you’d see Chloe Sevigny there, dressed in a bucket T-shirt and jeans drinking whiskey at the bar.” 

Photo by Megan Walschlager

The end of the aughts was an inflection point for nightlife. As the moment of downtown stalwarts like Beatrice Inn and Bungalow 8 began to fade in 2009 amid the backdrop of the financial crisis, the city’s cool kids decamped to various new stomping grounds, from old-school holdovers like Indochine and Lucien to warehouses in far Brooklyn. In Manhattan, temporary pop-up arrangements helped party-throwers find loopholes around the city’s draconian nightlife laws.

By 2011, the New York Times waxed of China Chalet’s instantly recognizable “chintzy floral carpet and pagoda paintings” in a trend feature on fashion-and-art–scene pop-up clubs, which also included Madame Wong’s, an exclusive party once hosted in the Chinatown establishment Golden Unicorn. The same year, The Observer documented an indie film after-party at China Chalet with an attendance of “ex-pat jet setters, debauched hipsters, and local lowlifes.” And the fashion house Opening Ceremony collaborated with homegrown psych rock band Gang Gang Dance for an album release party at the restaurant. 

Curtis Everett Pawley, musician and co-founder of the party-label 38 NYC, recalls seeing China Chalet for the first time at that Opening Ceremony party, noting that in the mid 2010s, the venue evolved from a fashion insider hideaway to a mainstay for local electronic music fans. In 2014, Pawley met Kellogg at the China Chalet while the latter was hosting a New York City offshoot of London’s experimental JACK댄스 party featuring performers like Doss and Stadium. 

“I don’t know how to describe the scene at JACK댄스—it was just a lot of people from the internet,” Pawley says. “But it was distinctly different from a warehouse party and other electronic DJ-oriented underground stuff that happened in Brooklyn. There was a Manhattan contingency that didn’t really venture into Brooklyn or maybe weren’t even into electronic music. The crowd was more diverse.”

Part of this broad appeal had to do with the functional and physical layout of the space. For first-timers, China Chalet would reveal itself one part at a time, starting with a steep entry stairwell that led into a main dining room, for lounging and gossipping, and finally through a mirrored hallway onto a packed dance floor—which was notoriously known to shake under the weight of hundreds jumping in unison. Then, there was the venue's far-flung location, which only contributed to its off-the-grid allure. And of course, there was the marvelously relaxed policy on cigarettes and other typical club contraband. 

“There was an air of freedom that everyone just instantly knew,” Pawley explains. “If you had even been there once, you understood it. It was a weird oasis away from the typical nightlife setting. Our parties were all over the map—it wasn’t ever pure techno or house. We didn’t want to overly aestheticize them to curate any certain crowd.” 

Photo by Tom Keelan

In the late 2010s, such a blank canvas would attract an increasingly diverse cast of revelers, spurred on by a new guard of social media-powered creative voices in the city. Nightlife photographer Megan Walschlager recalls visiting China Chalet for the first time to attend Club Glam, the fashion it-kid affair launched in 2016 by the powerhouse collective of DJ-artist Dese Escobar and siblings, celebrity stylist Kyle Luu, and influencer Fiffany Luu. Escobar told the Times earlier this year that the trio wanted to create a party that was distinctly “post-identity, meaning that it’s not strictly queer or straight, young or old.” 

“Club Glam was iconic—I remember they threw a ‘granny ball’ and people over 30 got in free, which I always found wonderfully funny,” Walschlager says, adding that there was a built-in sense of community at Glam. “People felt more at home at China Chalet because the venue let party planners use the space as their canvas, so everyone felt very relaxed. Security was pretty chill, and it was easy to get a drink at the bar, so it felt more communal.” 

During its three-year reign, Club Glam was a pioneer in its own right, offering a fresh approach to nightlife that united identities and industries without conforming to their norms. Themed events were announced just a few days ahead of time, and lines frequently rounded the block. The party’s organic aggregation of interdisciplinary creatives often draws comparison to the long-gone clubs of New York City nightlife’s storied past. 

The venue’s reputation in the queer community was further mainstreamed by the 2017 launch of Ty Sunderland’s Heaven on Earth, which drew the likes of RuPaul’s Drag Race winner Aquaria, Balmain creative director Olivier Rousteing, and transgender pop icon Kim Petras. (As Sunderland retells it, the latter once famously grabbed the mic for an impromptu performance of her latest single.) The party would continue through 2020, with its last iteration taking place in February.

To this day, Sunderland credits the owner, Keith Ng, for his open-mindedness in allowing the party to thrive. “From 10 p.m. to midnight, we got to live our stripper-pole fantasies—no questions asked,” Sunderland says. “There were 400 gay men there on a weekend night. That’s hard to find in New York City in most places unless they’re LGBT establishments.” Kellogg, who first introduced Sunderand to Ng, adds of the China Chalet staff: “The coat-check girls would say, ‘Oh my god—there are so many pretty boys running around.’ They loved it.” 

Photo by Serichai Traipoom

For young queer people, including queer people of color, Sunderland’s party filled a much-needed void in gay nightlife far from the insularity of Hell’s Kitchen. Sunderland’s hosts were predominantly performers, artists, and partygoers of marginalized identities, explains drag queen Ruby Fox, who was known to captivate the dance floor at Heaven on Earth with an acrobatic routine between two stripper poles. 

“The artistry I push out into the world comes from the emotions I pull from people around me,” Fox says. “At China Chalet, in such close quarters, it was really exhilarating because I’m getting so much energy and so many positive vibes, whether that was spiritual or just a brain thing. But I would feel the wavelengths off of people to the point where I’d be like the Energizer bunny.” 

As COVID-19 brings an untimely end to tens of thousands of restaurants and bars across America, it’s hard not to feel as though a chapter of nightlife has closed. And while restaurants and other food purveyors are struggling to lobby for assistance, nightlife proprietors have even fewer options to obtain funding. That’s not to mention the thousands of freelancers and gig workers—performers, DJs, and party planners—who make their living by creating these spaces for community and expression. 

“It's funny—when quarantine hit, all of us who work in live music were all stressed about how our venues were going to stay open,” Pawley remembers. “I remember thinking, ‘At least we’ll always have China Chalet.’ That’s why its closing is such a hard blow. I really thought it would be the last thing standing.” 

But while China Chalet deserved a more fitting end—maybe one final party to commemorate its legacy—Pawley says what made it special is the creativity it fostered and the connections it created. “To this day, I met so many of my closest friends at China Chalet,” he says. “We’re all still friends. I really believe all the people in New York City are what made the parties great. I don’t think that energy will die.”

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RIP China Chalet, Manhattan's Greatest Queer Nightlife Utopia

When DJ and nightlife entrepreneur Ty Sunderland created his flagship gay party, he envisioned stripper poles—an homage to the music video for Britney Spears’ 2007 single “Gimme More.” “But no strip club was going to let a gay promoter come in on a Friday night in New York City,” Sunderland recalls. “I asked if I could install stripper poles on the dance floor at China Chalet, and they said, ‘Yeah, totally.’ That’s how Heaven on Earth started.” 

One of the most beloved queer events in New York City in recent years, Heaven on Earth would also rank among the last of the great parties thrown at China Chalet, which shuttered last  month in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic. Opened in 1975, the two-story Cantonese dim sum restaurant was the last of its kind in many ways. For one, it was one of the only remaining full-service, multi-room dim sum banquet halls in the Wall Street area, but most famously, it was one of only DIY party venues in Manhattan where New York City nightlife could be everything it’s been promised to be since Studio 54: liberating, inclusive, and spontaneous. 

It’s unclear when, exactly, China Chalet started moonlighting as a nightclub, even to those who worked there toward the end. (Following the venue’s closing, owner Keith Ng has declined to comment for press.) Alex Kellogg, the venue’s party booker at the time it closed, says he’d heard of parties rumored to have been thrown there by Madonna in the 80s, but that the venue’s most prolific era began in the late 2000s. In the last decade, the venue was visited by the likes of the Olsen twins, Timothée Chalamet, and Jay-Z—plus, pretty much any young person who went out in New York City.  

“Anyone could come, and you could do anything you wanted,” Kellogg recalls of his first impression of the space, at a party thrown by _Sex Magazine_’s Asher Penn in 2013. “There was no one specific ‘genre’ of people. It wasn’t like when you went to a Bushwick party and you didn’t look DIY techno, so they didn’t accept you. Skaters could show up in ripped jeans, and then Alexander Wang could walk in behind them. And they’d be on the same level. Or you’d see Chloe Sevigny there, dressed in a bucket T-shirt and jeans drinking whiskey at the bar.” 

Photo by Megan Walschlager

The end of the aughts was an inflection point for nightlife. As the moment of downtown stalwarts like Beatrice Inn and Bungalow 8 began to fade in 2009 amid the backdrop of the financial crisis, the city’s cool kids decamped to various new stomping grounds, from old-school holdovers like Indochine and Lucien to warehouses in far Brooklyn. In Manhattan, temporary pop-up arrangements helped party-throwers find loopholes around the city’s draconian nightlife laws.

By 2011, the New York Times waxed of China Chalet’s instantly recognizable “chintzy floral carpet and pagoda paintings” in a trend feature on fashion-and-art–scene pop-up clubs, which also included Madame Wong’s, an exclusive party once hosted in the Chinatown establishment Golden Unicorn. The same year, The Observer documented an indie film after-party at China Chalet with an attendance of “ex-pat jet setters, debauched hipsters, and local lowlifes.” And the fashion house Opening Ceremony collaborated with homegrown psych rock band Gang Gang Dance for an album release party at the restaurant. 

Curtis Everett Pawley, musician and co-founder of the party-label 38 NYC, recalls seeing China Chalet for the first time at that Opening Ceremony party, noting that in the mid 2010s, the venue evolved from a fashion insider hideaway to a mainstay for local electronic music fans. In 2014, Pawley met Kellogg at the China Chalet while the latter was hosting a New York City offshoot of London’s experimental JACK댄스 party featuring performers like Doss and Stadium. 

“I don’t know how to describe the scene at JACK댄스—it was just a lot of people from the internet,” Pawley says. “But it was distinctly different from a warehouse party and other electronic DJ-oriented underground stuff that happened in Brooklyn. There was a Manhattan contingency that didn’t really venture into Brooklyn or maybe weren’t even into electronic music. The crowd was more diverse.”

Part of this broad appeal had to do with the functional and physical layout of the space. For first-timers, China Chalet would reveal itself one part at a time, starting with a steep entry stairwell that led into a main dining room, for lounging and gossipping, and finally through a mirrored hallway onto a packed dance floor—which was notoriously known to shake under the weight of hundreds jumping in unison. Then, there was the venue's far-flung location, which only contributed to its off-the-grid allure. And of course, there was the marvelously relaxed policy on cigarettes and other typical club contraband. 

“There was an air of freedom that everyone just instantly knew,” Pawley explains. “If you had even been there once, you understood it. It was a weird oasis away from the typical nightlife setting. Our parties were all over the map—it wasn’t ever pure techno or house. We didn’t want to overly aestheticize them to curate any certain crowd.” 

Photo by Tom Keelan

In the late 2010s, such a blank canvas would attract an increasingly diverse cast of revelers, spurred on by a new guard of social media-powered creative voices in the city. Nightlife photographer Megan Walschlager recalls visiting China Chalet for the first time to attend Club Glam, the fashion it-kid affair launched in 2016 by the powerhouse collective of DJ-artist Dese Escobar and siblings, celebrity stylist Kyle Luu, and influencer Fiffany Luu. Escobar told the Times earlier this year that the trio wanted to create a party that was distinctly “post-identity, meaning that it’s not strictly queer or straight, young or old.” 

“Club Glam was iconic—I remember they threw a ‘granny ball’ and people over 30 got in free, which I always found wonderfully funny,” Walschlager says, adding that there was a built-in sense of community at Glam. “People felt more at home at China Chalet because the venue let party planners use the space as their canvas, so everyone felt very relaxed. Security was pretty chill, and it was easy to get a drink at the bar, so it felt more communal.” 

During its three-year reign, Club Glam was a pioneer in its own right, offering a fresh approach to nightlife that united identities and industries without conforming to their norms. Themed events were announced just a few days ahead of time, and lines frequently rounded the block. The party’s organic aggregation of interdisciplinary creatives often draws comparison to the long-gone clubs of New York City nightlife’s storied past. 

The venue’s reputation in the queer community was further mainstreamed by the 2017 launch of Ty Sunderland’s Heaven on Earth, which drew the likes of RuPaul’s Drag Race winner Aquaria, Balmain creative director Olivier Rousteing, and transgender pop icon Kim Petras. (As Sunderland retells it, the latter once famously grabbed the mic for an impromptu performance of her latest single.) The party would continue through 2020, with its last iteration taking place in February.

To this day, Sunderland credits the owner, Keith Ng, for his open-mindedness in allowing the party to thrive. “From 10 p.m. to midnight, we got to live our stripper-pole fantasies—no questions asked,” Sunderland says. “There were 400 gay men there on a weekend night. That’s hard to find in New York City in most places unless they’re LGBT establishments.” Kellogg, who first introduced Sunderand to Ng, adds of the China Chalet staff: “The coat-check girls would say, ‘Oh my god—there are so many pretty boys running around.’ They loved it.” 

Photo by Serichai Traipoom

For young queer people, including queer people of color, Sunderland’s party filled a much-needed void in gay nightlife far from the insularity of Hell’s Kitchen. Sunderland’s hosts were predominantly performers, artists, and partygoers of marginalized identities, explains drag queen Ruby Fox, who was known to captivate the dance floor at Heaven on Earth with an acrobatic routine between two stripper poles. 

“The artistry I push out into the world comes from the emotions I pull from people around me,” Fox says. “At China Chalet, in such close quarters, it was really exhilarating because I’m getting so much energy and so many positive vibes, whether that was spiritual or just a brain thing. But I would feel the wavelengths off of people to the point where I’d be like the Energizer bunny.” 

As COVID-19 brings an untimely end to tens of thousands of restaurants and bars across America, it’s hard not to feel as though a chapter of nightlife has closed. And while restaurants and other food purveyors are struggling to lobby for assistance, nightlife proprietors have even fewer options to obtain funding. That’s not to mention the thousands of freelancers and gig workers—performers, DJs, and party planners—who make their living by creating these spaces for community and expression. 

“It's funny—when quarantine hit, all of us who work in live music were all stressed about how our venues were going to stay open,” Pawley remembers. “I remember thinking, ‘At least we’ll always have China Chalet.’ That’s why its closing is such a hard blow. I really thought it would be the last thing standing.” 

But while China Chalet deserved a more fitting end—maybe one final party to commemorate its legacy—Pawley says what made it special is the creativity it fostered and the connections it created. “To this day, I met so many of my closest friends at China Chalet,” he says. “We’re all still friends. I really believe all the people in New York City are what made the parties great. I don’t think that energy will die.”

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RIP China Chalet, Manhattan's Greatest Queer Nightlife Utopia

When DJ and nightlife entrepreneur Ty Sunderland created his flagship gay party, he envisioned stripper poles—an homage to the music video for Britney Spears’ 2007 single “Gimme More.” “But no strip club was going to let a gay promoter come in on a Friday night in New York City,” Sunderland recalls. “I asked if I could install stripper poles on the dance floor at China Chalet, and they said, ‘Yeah, totally.’ That’s how Heaven on Earth started.” 

One of the most beloved queer events in New York City in recent years, Heaven on Earth would also rank among the last of the great parties thrown at China Chalet, which shuttered last  month in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic. Opened in 1975, the two-story Cantonese dim sum restaurant was the last of its kind in many ways. For one, it was one of the only remaining full-service, multi-room dim sum banquet halls in the Wall Street area, but most famously, it was one of only DIY party venues in Manhattan where New York City nightlife could be everything it’s been promised to be since Studio 54: liberating, inclusive, and spontaneous. 

It’s unclear when, exactly, China Chalet started moonlighting as a nightclub, even to those who worked there toward the end. (Following the venue’s closing, owner Keith Ng has declined to comment for press.) Alex Kellogg, the venue’s party booker at the time it closed, says he’d heard of parties rumored to have been thrown there by Madonna in the 80s, but that the venue’s most prolific era began in the late 2000s. In the last decade, the venue was visited by the likes of the Olsen twins, Timothée Chalamet, and Jay-Z—plus, pretty much any young person who went out in New York City.  

“Anyone could come, and you could do anything you wanted,” Kellogg recalls of his first impression of the space, at a party thrown by _Sex Magazine_’s Asher Penn in 2013. “There was no one specific ‘genre’ of people. It wasn’t like when you went to a Bushwick party and you didn’t look DIY techno, so they didn’t accept you. Skaters could show up in ripped jeans, and then Alexander Wang could walk in behind them. And they’d be on the same level. Or you’d see Chloe Sevigny there, dressed in a bucket T-shirt and jeans drinking whiskey at the bar.” 

Photo by Megan Walschlager

The end of the aughts was an inflection point for nightlife. As the moment of downtown stalwarts like Beatrice Inn and Bungalow 8 began to fade in 2009 amid the backdrop of the financial crisis, the city’s cool kids decamped to various new stomping grounds, from old-school holdovers like Indochine and Lucien to warehouses in far Brooklyn. In Manhattan, temporary pop-up arrangements helped party-throwers find loopholes around the city’s draconian nightlife laws.

By 2011, the New York Times waxed of China Chalet’s instantly recognizable “chintzy floral carpet and pagoda paintings” in a trend feature on fashion-and-art–scene pop-up clubs, which also included Madame Wong’s, an exclusive party once hosted in the Chinatown establishment Golden Unicorn. The same year, The Observer documented an indie film after-party at China Chalet with an attendance of “ex-pat jet setters, debauched hipsters, and local lowlifes.” And the fashion house Opening Ceremony collaborated with homegrown psych rock band Gang Gang Dance for an album release party at the restaurant. 

Curtis Everett Pawley, musician and co-founder of the party-label 38 NYC, recalls seeing China Chalet for the first time at that Opening Ceremony party, noting that in the mid 2010s, the venue evolved from a fashion insider hideaway to a mainstay for local electronic music fans. In 2014, Pawley met Kellogg at the China Chalet while the latter was hosting a New York City offshoot of London’s experimental JACK댄스 party featuring performers like Doss and Stadium. 

“I don’t know how to describe the scene at JACK댄스—it was just a lot of people from the internet,” Pawley says. “But it was distinctly different from a warehouse party and other electronic DJ-oriented underground stuff that happened in Brooklyn. There was a Manhattan contingency that didn’t really venture into Brooklyn or maybe weren’t even into electronic music. The crowd was more diverse.”

Part of this broad appeal had to do with the functional and physical layout of the space. For first-timers, China Chalet would reveal itself one part at a time, starting with a steep entry stairwell that led into a main dining room, for lounging and gossipping, and finally through a mirrored hallway onto a packed dance floor—which was notoriously known to shake under the weight of hundreds jumping in unison. Then, there was the venue's far-flung location, which only contributed to its off-the-grid allure. And of course, there was the marvelously relaxed policy on cigarettes and other typical club contraband. 

“There was an air of freedom that everyone just instantly knew,” Pawley explains. “If you had even been there once, you understood it. It was a weird oasis away from the typical nightlife setting. Our parties were all over the map—it wasn’t ever pure techno or house. We didn’t want to overly aestheticize them to curate any certain crowd.” 

Photo by Tom Keelan

In the late 2010s, such a blank canvas would attract an increasingly diverse cast of revelers, spurred on by a new guard of social media-powered creative voices in the city. Nightlife photographer Megan Walschlager recalls visiting China Chalet for the first time to attend Club Glam, the fashion it-kid affair launched in 2016 by the powerhouse collective of DJ-artist Dese Escobar and siblings, celebrity stylist Kyle Luu, and influencer Fiffany Luu. Escobar told the Times earlier this year that the trio wanted to create a party that was distinctly “post-identity, meaning that it’s not strictly queer or straight, young or old.” 

“Club Glam was iconic—I remember they threw a ‘granny ball’ and people over 30 got in free, which I always found wonderfully funny,” Walschlager says, adding that there was a built-in sense of community at Glam. “People felt more at home at China Chalet because the venue let party planners use the space as their canvas, so everyone felt very relaxed. Security was pretty chill, and it was easy to get a drink at the bar, so it felt more communal.” 

During its three-year reign, Club Glam was a pioneer in its own right, offering a fresh approach to nightlife that united identities and industries without conforming to their norms. Themed events were announced just a few days ahead of time, and lines frequently rounded the block. The party’s organic aggregation of interdisciplinary creatives often draws comparison to the long-gone clubs of New York City nightlife’s storied past. 

The venue’s reputation in the queer community was further mainstreamed by the 2017 launch of Ty Sunderland’s Heaven on Earth, which drew the likes of RuPaul’s Drag Race winner Aquaria, Balmain creative director Olivier Rousteing, and transgender pop icon Kim Petras. (As Sunderland retells it, the latter once famously grabbed the mic for an impromptu performance of her latest single.) The party would continue through 2020, with its last iteration taking place in February.

To this day, Sunderland credits the owner, Keith Ng, for his open-mindedness in allowing the party to thrive. “From 10 p.m. to midnight, we got to live our stripper-pole fantasies—no questions asked,” Sunderland says. “There were 400 gay men there on a weekend night. That’s hard to find in New York City in most places unless they’re LGBT establishments.” Kellogg, who first introduced Sunderand to Ng, adds of the China Chalet staff: “The coat-check girls would say, ‘Oh my god—there are so many pretty boys running around.’ They loved it.” 

Photo by Serichai Traipoom

For young queer people, including queer people of color, Sunderland’s party filled a much-needed void in gay nightlife far from the insularity of Hell’s Kitchen. Sunderland’s hosts were predominantly performers, artists, and partygoers of marginalized identities, explains drag queen Ruby Fox, who was known to captivate the dance floor at Heaven on Earth with an acrobatic routine between two stripper poles. 

“The artistry I push out into the world comes from the emotions I pull from people around me,” Fox says. “At China Chalet, in such close quarters, it was really exhilarating because I’m getting so much energy and so many positive vibes, whether that was spiritual or just a brain thing. But I would feel the wavelengths off of people to the point where I’d be like the Energizer bunny.” 

As COVID-19 brings an untimely end to tens of thousands of restaurants and bars across America, it’s hard not to feel as though a chapter of nightlife has closed. And while restaurants and other food purveyors are struggling to lobby for assistance, nightlife proprietors have even fewer options to obtain funding. That’s not to mention the thousands of freelancers and gig workers—performers, DJs, and party planners—who make their living by creating these spaces for community and expression. 

“It's funny—when quarantine hit, all of us who work in live music were all stressed about how our venues were going to stay open,” Pawley remembers. “I remember thinking, ‘At least we’ll always have China Chalet.’ That’s why its closing is such a hard blow. I really thought it would be the last thing standing.” 

But while China Chalet deserved a more fitting end—maybe one final party to commemorate its legacy—Pawley says what made it special is the creativity it fostered and the connections it created. “To this day, I met so many of my closest friends at China Chalet,” he says. “We’re all still friends. I really believe all the people in New York City are what made the parties great. I don’t think that energy will die.”

via VICE US - Munchies VICE US - Munchies via Mom's Kitchen Recipe Network Mom's Kitchen Recipe Network

[cyberpoetryballoon]

RIP China Chalet, Manhattan's Greatest Queer Nightlife Utopia

When DJ and nightlife entrepreneur Ty Sunderland created his flagship gay party, he envisioned stripper poles—an homage to the music video for Britney Spears’ 2007 single “Gimme More.” “But no strip club was going to let a gay promoter come in on a Friday night in New York City,” Sunderland recalls. “I asked if I could install stripper poles on the dance floor at China Chalet, and they said, ‘Yeah, totally.’ That’s how Heaven on Earth started.” 

One of the most beloved queer events in New York City in recent years, Heaven on Earth would also rank among the last of the great parties thrown at China Chalet, which shuttered last  month in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic. Opened in 1975, the two-story Cantonese dim sum restaurant was the last of its kind in many ways. For one, it was one of the only remaining full-service, multi-room dim sum banquet halls in the Wall Street area, but most famously, it was one of only DIY party venues in Manhattan where New York City nightlife could be everything it’s been promised to be since Studio 54: liberating, inclusive, and spontaneous. 

It’s unclear when, exactly, China Chalet started moonlighting as a nightclub, even to those who worked there toward the end. (Following the venue’s closing, owner Keith Ng has declined to comment for press.) Alex Kellogg, the venue’s party booker at the time it closed, says he’d heard of parties rumored to have been thrown there by Madonna in the 80s, but that the venue’s most prolific era began in the late 2000s. In the last decade, the venue was visited by the likes of the Olsen twins, Timothée Chalamet, and Jay-Z—plus, pretty much any young person who went out in New York City.  

“Anyone could come, and you could do anything you wanted,” Kellogg recalls of his first impression of the space, at a party thrown by _Sex Magazine_’s Asher Penn in 2013. “There was no one specific ‘genre’ of people. It wasn’t like when you went to a Bushwick party and you didn’t look DIY techno, so they didn’t accept you. Skaters could show up in ripped jeans, and then Alexander Wang could walk in behind them. And they’d be on the same level. Or you’d see Chloe Sevigny there, dressed in a bucket T-shirt and jeans drinking whiskey at the bar.” 

Photo by Megan Walschlager

The end of the aughts was an inflection point for nightlife. As the moment of downtown stalwarts like Beatrice Inn and Bungalow 8 began to fade in 2009 amid the backdrop of the financial crisis, the city’s cool kids decamped to various new stomping grounds, from old-school holdovers like Indochine and Lucien to warehouses in far Brooklyn. In Manhattan, temporary pop-up arrangements helped party-throwers find loopholes around the city’s draconian nightlife laws.

By 2011, the New York Times waxed of China Chalet’s instantly recognizable “chintzy floral carpet and pagoda paintings” in a trend feature on fashion-and-art–scene pop-up clubs, which also included Madame Wong’s, an exclusive party once hosted in the Chinatown establishment Golden Unicorn. The same year, The Observer documented an indie film after-party at China Chalet with an attendance of “ex-pat jet setters, debauched hipsters, and local lowlifes.” And the fashion house Opening Ceremony collaborated with homegrown psych rock band Gang Gang Dance for an album release party at the restaurant. 

Curtis Everett Pawley, musician and co-founder of the party-label 38 NYC, recalls seeing China Chalet for the first time at that Opening Ceremony party, noting that in the mid 2010s, the venue evolved from a fashion insider hideaway to a mainstay for local electronic music fans. In 2014, Pawley met Kellogg at the China Chalet while the latter was hosting a New York City offshoot of London’s experimental JACK댄스 party featuring performers like Doss and Stadium. 

“I don’t know how to describe the scene at JACK댄스—it was just a lot of people from the internet,” Pawley says. “But it was distinctly different from a warehouse party and other electronic DJ-oriented underground stuff that happened in Brooklyn. There was a Manhattan contingency that didn’t really venture into Brooklyn or maybe weren’t even into electronic music. The crowd was more diverse.”

Part of this broad appeal had to do with the functional and physical layout of the space. For first-timers, China Chalet would reveal itself one part at a time, starting with a steep entry stairwell that led into a main dining room, for lounging and gossipping, and finally through a mirrored hallway onto a packed dance floor—which was notoriously known to shake under the weight of hundreds jumping in unison. Then, there was the venue's far-flung location, which only contributed to its off-the-grid allure. And of course, there was the marvelously relaxed policy on cigarettes and other typical club contraband. 

“There was an air of freedom that everyone just instantly knew,” Pawley explains. “If you had even been there once, you understood it. It was a weird oasis away from the typical nightlife setting. Our parties were all over the map—it wasn’t ever pure techno or house. We didn’t want to overly aestheticize them to curate any certain crowd.” 

Photo by Tom Keelan

In the late 2010s, such a blank canvas would attract an increasingly diverse cast of revelers, spurred on by a new guard of social media-powered creative voices in the city. Nightlife photographer Megan Walschlager recalls visiting China Chalet for the first time to attend Club Glam, the fashion it-kid affair launched in 2016 by the powerhouse collective of DJ-artist Dese Escobar and siblings, celebrity stylist Kyle Luu, and influencer Fiffany Luu. Escobar told the Times earlier this year that the trio wanted to create a party that was distinctly “post-identity, meaning that it’s not strictly queer or straight, young or old.” 

“Club Glam was iconic—I remember they threw a ‘granny ball’ and people over 30 got in free, which I always found wonderfully funny,” Walschlager says, adding that there was a built-in sense of community at Glam. “People felt more at home at China Chalet because the venue let party planners use the space as their canvas, so everyone felt very relaxed. Security was pretty chill, and it was easy to get a drink at the bar, so it felt more communal.” 

During its three-year reign, Club Glam was a pioneer in its own right, offering a fresh approach to nightlife that united identities and industries without conforming to their norms. Themed events were announced just a few days ahead of time, and lines frequently rounded the block. The party’s organic aggregation of interdisciplinary creatives often draws comparison to the long-gone clubs of New York City nightlife’s storied past. 

The venue’s reputation in the queer community was further mainstreamed by the 2017 launch of Ty Sunderland’s Heaven on Earth, which drew the likes of RuPaul’s Drag Race winner Aquaria, Balmain creative director Olivier Rousteing, and transgender pop icon Kim Petras. (As Sunderland retells it, the latter once famously grabbed the mic for an impromptu performance of her latest single.) The party would continue through 2020, with its last iteration taking place in February.

To this day, Sunderland credits the owner, Keith Ng, for his open-mindedness in allowing the party to thrive. “From 10 p.m. to midnight, we got to live our stripper-pole fantasies—no questions asked,” Sunderland says. “There were 400 gay men there on a weekend night. That’s hard to find in New York City in most places unless they’re LGBT establishments.” Kellogg, who first introduced Sunderand to Ng, adds of the China Chalet staff: “The coat-check girls would say, ‘Oh my god—there are so many pretty boys running around.’ They loved it.” 

Photo by Serichai Traipoom

For young queer people, including queer people of color, Sunderland’s party filled a much-needed void in gay nightlife far from the insularity of Hell’s Kitchen. Sunderland’s hosts were predominantly performers, artists, and partygoers of marginalized identities, explains drag queen Ruby Fox, who was known to captivate the dance floor at Heaven on Earth with an acrobatic routine between two stripper poles. 

“The artistry I push out into the world comes from the emotions I pull from people around me,” Fox says. “At China Chalet, in such close quarters, it was really exhilarating because I’m getting so much energy and so many positive vibes, whether that was spiritual or just a brain thing. But I would feel the wavelengths off of people to the point where I’d be like the Energizer bunny.” 

As COVID-19 brings an untimely end to tens of thousands of restaurants and bars across America, it’s hard not to feel as though a chapter of nightlife has closed. And while restaurants and other food purveyors are struggling to lobby for assistance, nightlife proprietors have even fewer options to obtain funding. That’s not to mention the thousands of freelancers and gig workers—performers, DJs, and party planners—who make their living by creating these spaces for community and expression. 

“It's funny—when quarantine hit, all of us who work in live music were all stressed about how our venues were going to stay open,” Pawley remembers. “I remember thinking, ‘At least we’ll always have China Chalet.’ That’s why its closing is such a hard blow. I really thought it would be the last thing standing.” 

But while China Chalet deserved a more fitting end—maybe one final party to commemorate its legacy—Pawley says what made it special is the creativity it fostered and the connections it created. “To this day, I met so many of my closest friends at China Chalet,” he says. “We’re all still friends. I really believe all the people in New York City are what made the parties great. I don’t think that energy will die.”

via VICE US - Munchies VICE US - Munchies via Mom's Kitchen Recipe Network Mom's Kitchen Recipe Network

[carolrhackett85282]

RIP China Chalet, Manhattan's Greatest Queer Nightlife Utopia

When DJ and nightlife entrepreneur Ty Sunderland created his flagship gay party, he envisioned stripper poles—an homage to the music video for Britney Spears’ 2007 single “Gimme More.” “But no strip club was going to let a gay promoter come in on a Friday night in New York City,” Sunderland recalls. “I asked if I could install stripper poles on the dance floor at China Chalet, and they said, ‘Yeah, totally.’ That’s how Heaven on Earth started.” 

One of the most beloved queer events in New York City in recent years, Heaven on Earth would also rank among the last of the great parties thrown at China Chalet, which shuttered last  month in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic. Opened in 1975, the two-story Cantonese dim sum restaurant was the last of its kind in many ways. For one, it was one of the only remaining full-service, multi-room dim sum banquet halls in the Wall Street area, but most famously, it was one of only DIY party venues in Manhattan where New York City nightlife could be everything it’s been promised to be since Studio 54: liberating, inclusive, and spontaneous. 

It’s unclear when, exactly, China Chalet started moonlighting as a nightclub, even to those who worked there toward the end. (Following the venue’s closing, owner Keith Ng has declined to comment for press.) Alex Kellogg, the venue’s party booker at the time it closed, says he’d heard of parties rumored to have been thrown there by Madonna in the 80s, but that the venue’s most prolific era began in the late 2000s. In the last decade, the venue was visited by the likes of the Olsen twins, Timothée Chalamet, and Jay-Z—plus, pretty much any young person who went out in New York City.  

“Anyone could come, and you could do anything you wanted,” Kellogg recalls of his first impression of the space, at a party thrown by _Sex Magazine_’s Asher Penn in 2013. “There was no one specific ‘genre’ of people. It wasn’t like when you went to a Bushwick party and you didn’t look DIY techno, so they didn’t accept you. Skaters could show up in ripped jeans, and then Alexander Wang could walk in behind them. And they’d be on the same level. Or you’d see Chloe Sevigny there, dressed in a bucket T-shirt and jeans drinking whiskey at the bar.” 

Photo by Megan Walschlager

The end of the aughts was an inflection point for nightlife. As the moment of downtown stalwarts like Beatrice Inn and Bungalow 8 began to fade in 2009 amid the backdrop of the financial crisis, the city’s cool kids decamped to various new stomping grounds, from old-school holdovers like Indochine and Lucien to warehouses in far Brooklyn. In Manhattan, temporary pop-up arrangements helped party-throwers find loopholes around the city’s draconian nightlife laws.

By 2011, the New York Times waxed of China Chalet’s instantly recognizable “chintzy floral carpet and pagoda paintings” in a trend feature on fashion-and-art–scene pop-up clubs, which also included Madame Wong’s, an exclusive party once hosted in the Chinatown establishment Golden Unicorn. The same year, The Observer documented an indie film after-party at China Chalet with an attendance of “ex-pat jet setters, debauched hipsters, and local lowlifes.” And the fashion house Opening Ceremony collaborated with homegrown psych rock band Gang Gang Dance for an album release party at the restaurant. 

Curtis Everett Pawley, musician and co-founder of the party-label 38 NYC, recalls seeing China Chalet for the first time at that Opening Ceremony party, noting that in the mid 2010s, the venue evolved from a fashion insider hideaway to a mainstay for local electronic music fans. In 2014, Pawley met Kellogg at the China Chalet while the latter was hosting a New York City offshoot of London’s experimental JACK댄스 party featuring performers like Doss and Stadium. 

“I don’t know how to describe the scene at JACK댄스—it was just a lot of people from the internet,” Pawley says. “But it was distinctly different from a warehouse party and other electronic DJ-oriented underground stuff that happened in Brooklyn. There was a Manhattan contingency that didn’t really venture into Brooklyn or maybe weren’t even into electronic music. The crowd was more diverse.”

Part of this broad appeal had to do with the functional and physical layout of the space. For first-timers, China Chalet would reveal itself one part at a time, starting with a steep entry stairwell that led into a main dining room, for lounging and gossipping, and finally through a mirrored hallway onto a packed dance floor—which was notoriously known to shake under the weight of hundreds jumping in unison. Then, there was the venue's far-flung location, which only contributed to its off-the-grid allure. And of course, there was the marvelously relaxed policy on cigarettes and other typical club contraband. 

“There was an air of freedom that everyone just instantly knew,” Pawley explains. “If you had even been there once, you understood it. It was a weird oasis away from the typical nightlife setting. Our parties were all over the map—it wasn’t ever pure techno or house. We didn’t want to overly aestheticize them to curate any certain crowd.” 

Photo by Tom Keelan

In the late 2010s, such a blank canvas would attract an increasingly diverse cast of revelers, spurred on by a new guard of social media-powered creative voices in the city. Nightlife photographer Megan Walschlager recalls visiting China Chalet for the first time to attend Club Glam, the fashion it-kid affair launched in 2016 by the powerhouse collective of DJ-artist Dese Escobar and siblings, celebrity stylist Kyle Luu, and influencer Fiffany Luu. Escobar told the Times earlier this year that the trio wanted to create a party that was distinctly “post-identity, meaning that it’s not strictly queer or straight, young or old.” 

“Club Glam was iconic—I remember they threw a ‘granny ball’ and people over 30 got in free, which I always found wonderfully funny,” Walschlager says, adding that there was a built-in sense of community at Glam. “People felt more at home at China Chalet because the venue let party planners use the space as their canvas, so everyone felt very relaxed. Security was pretty chill, and it was easy to get a drink at the bar, so it felt more communal.” 

During its three-year reign, Club Glam was a pioneer in its own right, offering a fresh approach to nightlife that united identities and industries without conforming to their norms. Themed events were announced just a few days ahead of time, and lines frequently rounded the block. The party’s organic aggregation of interdisciplinary creatives often draws comparison to the long-gone clubs of New York City nightlife’s storied past. 

The venue’s reputation in the queer community was further mainstreamed by the 2017 launch of Ty Sunderland’s Heaven on Earth, which drew the likes of RuPaul’s Drag Race winner Aquaria, Balmain creative director Olivier Rousteing, and transgender pop icon Kim Petras. (As Sunderland retells it, the latter once famously grabbed the mic for an impromptu performance of her latest single.) The party would continue through 2020, with its last iteration taking place in February.

To this day, Sunderland credits the owner, Keith Ng, for his open-mindedness in allowing the party to thrive. “From 10 p.m. to midnight, we got to live our stripper-pole fantasies—no questions asked,” Sunderland says. “There were 400 gay men there on a weekend night. That’s hard to find in New York City in most places unless they’re LGBT establishments.” Kellogg, who first introduced Sunderand to Ng, adds of the China Chalet staff: “The coat-check girls would say, ‘Oh my god—there are so many pretty boys running around.’ They loved it.” 

Photo by Serichai Traipoom

For young queer people, including queer people of color, Sunderland’s party filled a much-needed void in gay nightlife far from the insularity of Hell’s Kitchen. Sunderland’s hosts were predominantly performers, artists, and partygoers of marginalized identities, explains drag queen Ruby Fox, who was known to captivate the dance floor at Heaven on Earth with an acrobatic routine between two stripper poles. 

“The artistry I push out into the world comes from the emotions I pull from people around me,” Fox says. “At China Chalet, in such close quarters, it was really exhilarating because I’m getting so much energy and so many positive vibes, whether that was spiritual or just a brain thing. But I would feel the wavelengths off of people to the point where I’d be like the Energizer bunny.” 

As COVID-19 brings an untimely end to tens of thousands of restaurants and bars across America, it’s hard not to feel as though a chapter of nightlife has closed. And while restaurants and other food purveyors are struggling to lobby for assistance, nightlife proprietors have even fewer options to obtain funding. That’s not to mention the thousands of freelancers and gig workers—performers, DJs, and party planners—who make their living by creating these spaces for community and expression. 

“It's funny—when quarantine hit, all of us who work in live music were all stressed about how our venues were going to stay open,” Pawley remembers. “I remember thinking, ‘At least we’ll always have China Chalet.’ That’s why its closing is such a hard blow. I really thought it would be the last thing standing.” 

But while China Chalet deserved a more fitting end—maybe one final party to commemorate its legacy—Pawley says what made it special is the creativity it fostered and the connections it created. “To this day, I met so many of my closest friends at China Chalet,” he says. “We’re all still friends. I really believe all the people in New York City are what made the parties great. I don’t think that energy will die.”

via VICE US - Munchies VICE US - Munchies via Mom's Kitchen Recipe Network Mom's Kitchen Recipe Network

[skold]

this post is Marina’s List Of Favorite and/or Iconic Music Videos

this could also be subtitled as: if you truly want to understand me as a person, watch these videos because it’ll answer a lot of questions

it’s gonna be a long one so i’ll pop it under a cut

alright we goin by artist then chronological

AIDEN

knife blood nightmare - this is iconic for me simply bc i rly wanted to look like wil in this video so bad in 6th grade.

die romantic - WHAT A BOP. i used to do my black eyeshadow like wil in this video too lmao

ALL TIME LOW

poppin champagne - because blonde alex and also?? honestly?? what a wild video. this is truly late 00s oversaturated pop punk at its finest

i feel like dancin - i’m not the biggest fan of this record or even this song in general but this is like, quintessential all time low to me video-wise. like. it’s everything i want from an all time low video.

ARCHITECTS

follow the water - or as sam carter says, follow the wah-uh. first of all i love that this is in a church. second of all when will i get to go to an architects show this lit here in the states

heartburn - bc they all look pretty. ok. aesthetically on point as well.

AVENGED SEVENFOLD

beast and the harlot - i don’t always bop this song but when i do, the whole cul de sac does too. no but really this was so influential to middle school me i wanted nothing more than a boyfriend who looked like zacky or jimmy and whatever eyeshadows zacky was wearing in this clip

BLINK 182

i miss you - the video that inspired this post. THE AESTHETIQUE. 20′s inspired romantigoth film noir. i don’t yell about this music video enough.

BRING ME THE HORIZON

chelsea smile - it’s literally just a house part video but the song literally defines the year 2009 for me. emetophobia warning at 1:08

it never ends - this video got mad shit but i love it. pretty heavy gore throughout this video

alligator blood - CREEPY ASS AESTHETIC SHIT!!!! i live for it. 16 y/o me had it so bad for matt nicholls and him getting tied up and violated was like, god tier for me

visions - more creepy aesthetic shit. the videos on there is a hell were underrated

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA

hey john what’s your name again? - i gotta throw this one in just bc this hurls my ass right back to the year 2008. that bible imagery. those haircuts. it was a better time for music

html rules d00d - THIS SONG STILL SLAPS LMAO DON’T READ ME

ELISSA FRANCESCHI

salt - i’m not crying you’re crying!!! how did anne and christian franceschi manage to spawn two flawless and talented siblings!!!!!!

EVERY TIME I DIE

ebolarama - it’s a performance video in a roller rink what more could you want

wanderlust - you’ve probably caught on to the fact that i love creepy aesthetic shit.

decayin with the boys - THIS VIDEO HAS ME HOWLING. there are too many good moments to list here but the personal highlight is the dude admiring the lesbians making out, then he turns and admires they gays making out at about the 1:30 mark. also the jenga dream sequence. there’s a dick in this video, just a heads up. and a whole bootyass. i love andy williams. mild emetophobia tw at 2:30

FOXY SHAZAM

a dangerous man - eric nally’s screeching was the soundtrack of 2008

i like it - the chorus of this song is literally just “that’s the biggest black ass i’ve ever seen and i like it” and i have nothing more to say

holy touch - it’s a performance video but it’s. different. i really don’t wanna ruin this by saying too much about it. that’s just kinda how foxy shazam were. this song is a fucking banger. yes, they did have a trumpet player in the official lineup.

FRNKIERO ANDTHE CELLABRATION

joyriding - another performance video that’s. different. lmao. aesthetically perfect

GOOD CHARLOTTE 

lifestyles of the rich and famous -  the proletariat banger we weren’t ready for in 2002, but we’re ready now.

girls and boys - old people being punk rock. that’s all.

predictable - i SPECIFICALLY remember watching this on the good charlotte website the day this dropped. THE EARLY 2000S BAD CG IS REAL. i was literally ten years old but i somehow Felt every word of that spoken bridge, man. WHEN THE LITTLE GIRL GIVES JOEL THE ROSE AND IT TURNS BLACK i deadass thought that was so fucking dope y’all

i just wanna live - ignoring the irony of joel whining about being famous, this video had THE MEMES. 

GREEN DAY

longview - iconic simply by virtue of being their first video.

when i come around - ask me about my favorite songs of All Time and i’ll probably mention this one. it’s still great nowadays. i love all the shots of berkeley.

brain stew/jaded - this is such a great piece of art lmao the fucking. sludgy feeling of brain stew going into the chaos of jaded is great on the record, but even better in video form going from being stoned in sepia to tripping acid in an oversaturated cluttered space

walking contradiction - comedy gold

hitchin a ride - creepy weirdness and an iconic bassline. also mike dirnt looks fine as hell in this video

minority - i’m running out of ways to explain that a video is iconic to me purely bc of how important the song was to me at a given time lmao.

american idiot - is there anything i can truly say about this video? it was perfect in 2004, it’s perfect in 2017. uncomfortably relevant. epilepsy warning for strobe lighting effects in the second half

holiday - technically this was released before blvd, but since it chronologically precedes blvd in the story, i’m putting it first. this is like 90% here for the bridge section y’all. fucking iconic. i wore a fedora on the first day of sixth grade bc tre cool wore one in this video. not my proudest fashion moment. emetophobia warning at 1:56 but them playing EVERY character in the bar scene is perfection

boulevard of broken dreams - ah yes, 2005′s most overplayed song. i could not escape this song. every time the intro started everyone would just look at me bc i was The Green Day Chick. this video is aesthetically perfect though. shout out to mike dirnt’s jawline in profile

HOZIER

work song - first of all, this song makes me cry. second of all, the video is dreamy as fuck. it gives me irl chills. i love the choreography so much. the whole vibe is very modern southern gothic. and it’s incredibly intimate feeling without being... sexual or vulgar, i guess. 

IN THIS MOMENT

adrenalize - first of all i’m gay. second of all i’m gay. this video is decidedly nsfw

whore - aesthetically pleasing. chris motionless being subby is the real highlight here

sick like me - again, it’s here for the aesthetic.

big bad wolf - also aesthetic but THIS MAKEUP LOOK. maria’s makeup look in this video is actually literally my aesthetic goal. epilepsy warning for strobe light effects

sex metal barbie - say it with me: aesthetic. i also love this one bc the lyrics are largely lifted from people talking shit about maria on the internet, shaming her for being a woman with sexuality and agency, so fuck yes i support it. mild body horror warning for this one

JOHN 5

making monsters - john’s videos are mostly performance based but this one is so cute lmao. where do i cop a j5 action figure

LADY GAGA

paparazzi - i’m only including the RLY vital gaga videos here and the full version of paparazzi is her best work imo......

bad romance - .......but bad romance is a close second.

telephone - i can’t not include this one though. the collab of the decade.

LINKIN PARK

one step closer - i think this was the first linkin park video i saw Back In The Day......... it was 2 heavy 4 baby me at the time lmao but nowadays it’s one of my fave lp songs. the video is super corny let’s be real but it was 2000

numb - this song is so fucking emo but i love it. the video is like peak emo too. i swear the main girl in this video was like my fashion icon at the time. layered tank tops, ripped loose jeans, oversized hoodies and jackets. i wanted her hair so bad lmao

what i’ve done - this video is really visually solid. i thought this was like the Deepest Shit in middle school lmao

MARILYN MANSON

sweet dreams (are made of this) - THE CINNAMON TOPOGRAPHY!!! god i have no complaints about this video except that twiggy is in it. visual fx?? dope. wardrobe?? dope. location?? dope. manson in the wedding dress?? dope. unsanitary warning for the later half of the video bc manson gets pooped on by birds lmao

tourniquet - one of my fave vocal performances by manson tbh. i prefer this one of the two videos floria did w/ manson. 

long hard road out of hell - femme manson and religious imagery need i elaborate

the dope show - the first manson video i ever saw. i was... so creeped out lmao. LOOKS ON LOOKS ON LOOKS. john 5 lookin like a snack in this one

i don’t like the drugs (but the drugs like me) - this is probably the most heavy-handed manson has ever been with the christ allegory lmao and yet......... i love it. also shout out to manson and rose’s dogs bug and uncle fester for guest starring. body horror tw here

coma white - basically a flawless music video i have nothing to say here that isn’t already said by the video itself

disposable teens - everybody looks great in this one except twiggy fuck twiggy. i actually love the mtv version of this video too, which is all performance, but i can’t seem to find it rn??

the fight song - one of my fave manson looks. those boooooots tho. the gloooovessssss. i’m gross let me live

tainted love - sorry to send y’all to vimeo for this one but i couldn’t find one on youtube that didn’t look like it was filmed with a potato or watermarked. y’all slept on the genius of this video tbh

mobscene - hello it is me gaogfucker666. 

this is the new shit - still me, gaogfucker666. this video feels misinterpreted too honestly

(s)AINT (director’s cut) - specifically the director’s cut bc more tim skold in a dress and boots smoking a cigarette. this video is seriously fucking nsfw. needles, drugs, sexual content, vomit etc watch with caution pls

personal jesus - i love this glam rock look so much. tim looks so good in this he never wore the look again bc he knew he looked so good we could never handle it a second time.

putting holes in happiness - I CAN’T FIND the extended version with tim’s full solo and i wanna scream. but. here’s the official version

say10 (short) - i really fucking wish he’d compounded off this for the official say10 video, beheaded orange man or not. just the verse. it’s so good. moody and creepy and AHHH.

we know where you fucking live - heed the warning at the beginning lmao. i honestly loved this video. i know some people thought it was edgy but i rly rly don’t see that. it’s offensive and obscene yeah but it doesn’t have that edgelord feel, as much as i love to call him an edgelord.

MOTIONLESS IN WHITE

reincarnate - old school horror vibes!!! as a Humble Fetishist of Boots and Gloves, this is a great video. also this is one of those songs where i Feel the lyrics for real

eternally yours - THE COLORS!!! THE FUCKIN IN A COFFIN!!!! i have nothing more to say

MOTLEY CRUE

looks that kill - please watch this corny ass fuckin 1983 ass hair metal ass music video. please. i’m tryna add more shout at the devil era nikki sixx vibes to my wardrobe tbh

wild side - i love a late 80s arena performance video ok also where do i cop nikki’s shirt

dr. feelgood - i will always credit this as one of the songs that made me want to play bass tbh

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

vampires will never hurt you - too emo to view with the naked eye.

i’m not okay (i promise) - the video that spawned a million high school AUs. god i love this one. even watching without the nostalgia goggles it’s great.

helena - perhaps my favorite music video of all time? if not then top 3. this video still remains my ideal aesthetic 12 years later. HOW I’M TRYNA BE. i just wanna look like an extra in this video, okay.

the ghost of you - time to cry!!!!! emetophobia warning at 0:47

welcome to the black parade - it’s hard for me to talk about these videos bc they’re so universally iconic that to explain why i love them so much would be mostly redundant.

famous last words - see above. this song means the world to me

desolation row - if i had to pick a video other than helena to look like an extra in i’d pick this one. has gerard ever looked this good, before or after this video?? peak.

NINE INCH NAILS

down in it - these are getting linked to vimeo since the official nin account has them all uploaded there in better quality. anyway i love so many of the shots in this video and i love the colors and i love bab trent

head like a hole - SO dated y’all but bab trent leveled up and became baby dread trent.

happiness in slavery - this is seriously graphic. but it’s great. also where’s the extended version that shows trent getting eaten by the weird carnivorous robot

gave up - bABY BRIAN!! infants, y’all. INFANTS.

march of the pigs - it’s a one-take performance video but it’s...... so much more than that. this video hurts me in my hand/glove kink.

closer - this is in the top 3 with helena honestly. it is... a piece of art film before all else. a Must Watch. 

burn - another case of a video being important to me because of the song it’s for tbh.

the perfect drug - marc romanek is a GOD. also a piece of art film honestly. just y’all wait till i make my dnd character based on trent in this video lmao

starfuckers, inc - hm, another nin video that trent invited manson to be in. interesting. all memes aside it’s a great video even as much as i hate the use of the “fat = ugly” trope. epilepsy warning for flashing effects in the last part of the video

deep - why. are. y’all. SLEEPING ON THIS!!!!

only - this may have been the first nin video i willingly saw and recognized as nin. this video still holds up, especially with it being 95% cgi and still looking as good as it does.

ROB ZOMBIE

living dead girl - the theme song of my life??? iconic couple costume idea????

meet the creeper - i have to include this video because it’s BAD. it’s terrible and i fucking love it

american witch (live version) - WHEN ROB PICKS UP JOHN AND STARTS SPINNING HIM AROUND!!!! this is here specifically for all the long hair john content

dead city radio and the new gods of supertown - the aesthetic. everybody looks great. matt is in a gorilla suit

well everybody’s fucking in a ufo - highly nsfw. where do i begin with this fucking hot mess...... sheri’s huge fake boobs. john and matt and ginger as astronauts. john jerkin off. the aliens with dicks. the fact that the whole story is about getting gang banged by aliens???? nothing will ever reach this level

SKOLD

self titled promotional clip - epilepsy warning for a lot of flashing and smash cuts. sort of a few partial music videos in one, but there are only two official skold videos, so i gotta include both of them. the quality is garbage. it’s so incredibly 1996. yet i love it. the last song, anything, is pretty nsfw as in there’s actual femdom porn clips but this is why i love it.

better the devil - if there were more skold videos i’d put them here. but as i said there are only two. tim out there lookin like not just a snack but a full course meal in 4k quality. goddamn. the only man i can ever truly call d*ddy. tiffany and eli lookin like delicious side dishes as well.

TAKING BACK SUNDAY

you’re so last summer - flava flave is in it

this photograph is proof - this song makes me so fucking nostalgic............. it transports me right back to eighth grade lmao. tbs were one of my fave bands in middle school.

makedamnsure - the most emo song of all time?? side note regarding tbs: real talk, being fat in middle school, seeing another fat person in a band was so fucking reassuring and great. i love eddie. 

liar (it takes one to know one) - these visual effects are SO cool, even now.

YOU ME AT SIX

jealous minds think alike - ART... no but actually look at these literal fetuses. i fucking love this song. it’s probably my fave track on take off your colours.

kiss and tell - you right it’s another house party video BUT. baby josh with an undercut. he must be 18 or barely 19 here??

liquid confidence - WHEN YOU GOT NOTHING TO LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE

stay with me - jkfljkghdfskljgs okay serious time: this song got me through a seriously rough part of my life and i have the title tattooed on me partially because of the video. 

loverboy - i have never seen a fandom in such utter chaos as the ymas fandom was on the day this video dropped. holy fucking shit. the THIRST was REAL. 

bite my tongue - peak ymas captured in one music video. that’s truly the most important part. that peak sns era ymas was preserved forever in this video.

lived a lie - is it bad if i still kinda want a “we are believers” tattoo lmao. i really....... love this song a lot. is it obvious by now that ymas love a big chorus lmao

give - this song gives me The Feels. it deserved better than a performance video in an empty arena but it’s all we got, so here it is.

[sunrec]

... For years I’ve noticed the divergence between my straight friends and my gay friends. While one half of my social circle has disappeared into relationships, kids and suburbs, the other has struggled through isolation and anxiety, hard drugs and risky sex.

None of this fits the narrative I have been told, the one I have told myself. Like me, Jeremy did not grow up bullied by his peers or rejected by his family. He can’t remember ever being called a faggot. He was raised in a West Coast suburb by a lesbian mom. “She came out to me when I was 12,” he says. “And told me two sentences later that she knew I was gay. I barely knew at that point.”

This is a picture of me and my family when I was 9. My parents still claim that they had no idea I was gay. They’re sweet.

Jeremy and I are 34. In our lifetime, the gay community has made more progress on legal and social acceptance than any other demographic group in history. As recently as my own adolescence, gay marriage was a distant aspiration, something newspapers still put in scare quotes. Now, it’s been enshrined in law by the Supreme Court. Public support for gay marriage has climbed from 27 percent in 1996 to 61 percent in 2016. In pop culture, we’ve gone from “Cruising” to “Queer Eye” to “Moonlight.” Gay characters these days are so commonplace they’re even allowed to have flaws.

Still, even as we celebrate the scale and speed of this change, the rates of depression, loneliness and substance abuse in the gay community remain stuck in the same place they’ve been for decades. Gay people are now, depending on the study, between 2 and 10 times more likely than straight people to commit suicide. We’re twice as likely to have a major depressive episode. And just like the last epidemic we lived through, the trauma appears to be concentrated among men. In a survey of gay men who recently arrived in New York City, three-quarters suffered from anxiety or depression, abused drugs or alcohol or were having risky sex—or some combination of the three. Despite all the talk of our “chosen families,” gay men have fewer close friends than straight people or gay women. In a survey of care-providers at HIV clinics, one respondent told researchers: “It’s not a question of them not knowing how to save their lives. It’s a question of them knowing if their lives are worth saving.”

I’m not going to pretend to be objective about any of this. I’m a perpetually single gay guy who was raised in a bright blue city by PFLAG parents. I’ve never known anyone who died of AIDS, I’ve never experienced direct discrimination and I came out of the closet into a world where marriage, a picket fence and a golden retriever were not just feasible, but expected. I’ve also been in and out of therapy more times than I’ve downloaded and deleted Grindr.

“Marriage equality and the changes in legal status were an improvement for some gay men,” says Christopher Stults, a researcher at New York University who studies the differences in mental health between gay and straight men. “But for a lot of other people, it was a letdown. Like, we have this legal status, and yet there’s still something unfulfilled.”

This feeling of emptiness, it turns out, is not just an American phenomenon. In the Netherlands, where gay marriage has been legal since 2001, gay men remain three times more likely to suffer from a mood disorder than straight men, and 10 times more likely to engage in “suicidal self-harm.” In Sweden, which has had civil unions since 1995 and full marriage since 2009, men married to men have triple the suicide rate of men married to women.

All of these unbearable statistics lead to the same conclusion: It is still dangerously alienating to go through life as a man attracted to other men. The good news, though, is that epidemiologists and social scientists are closer than ever to understanding all the reasons why.

Travis Salway, a researcher with the BC Centre for Disease Control in Vancouver, has spent the last five years trying to figure out why gay men keep killing themselves.

“The defining feature of gay men used to be the loneliness of the closet,” he says. “But now you’ve got millions of gay men who have come out of the closet and they still feel the same isolation.”

We’re having lunch at a hole-in-the-wall noodle bar. It’s November, and he arrives wearing jeans, galoshes and a wedding ring.

“Gay-married, huh?” I say.

“Monogamous even,” he says. “I think they’re gonna give us the key to the city.”

Salway grew up in Celina, Ohio, a rusting factory town of maybe 10,000 people, the kind of place, he says, where marriage competed with college for the 21-year-olds. He got bullied for being gay before he even knew he was. “I was effeminate and I was in choir,” he says. “That was enough.” So he got careful. He had a girlfriend through most of high school, and tried to avoid boys—both romantically and platonically—until he could get out of there.

By the late 2000s, he was a social worker and epidemiologist and, like me, was struck by the growing distance between his straight and gay friends. He started to wonder if the story he had always heard about gay men and mental health was incomplete.

When the disparity first came to light in the ’50s and ’60s, doctors thought it was a symptom of homosexuality itself, just one of many manifestations of what was, at the time, known as “sexual inversion.” As the gay rights movement gained steam, though, homosexuality disappeared from the DSM and the explanation shifted to trauma. Gay men were being kicked out of their own families, their love lives were illegal. Of course they had alarming rates of suicide and depression. “That was the idea I had, too,” Salway says, “that gay suicide was a product of a bygone era, or it was concentrated among adolescents who didn’t see any other way out.”

And then he looked at the data. The problem wasn’t just suicide, it wasn’t just afflicting teenagers and it wasn’t just happening in areas stained by homophobia. He found that gay men everywhere, at every age, have higher rates of cardiovascular disease, cancer, incontinence, erectile dysfunction,⁠ allergies and asthma—you name it, we got it. In Canada, Salway eventually discovered, more gay men were dying from suicide than from AIDS, and had been for years. (This might be the case in the U.S. too, he says, but no one has bothered to study it.)

“We see gay men who have never been sexually or physically assaulted with similar post-traumatic stress symptoms to people who have been in combat situations or who have been raped,” says Alex Keuroghlian, a psychiatrist at the Fenway Institute’s Center for Population Research in LGBT Health.

Gay men are, as Keuroghlian puts it, “primed to expect rejection.” We’re constantly scanning social situations for ways we may not fit into them. We struggle to assert ourselves. We replay our social failures on a loop.

The weirdest thing about these symptoms, though, is that most of us don’t see them as symptoms at all. Since he looked into the data, Salway has started interviewing gay men who attempted suicide and survived.

“When you ask them why they tried to kill themselves,” he says, “most of them don’t mention anything at all about being gay.” Instead, he says, they tell him they’re having relationship problems, career problems, money problems. “They don’t feel like their sexuality is the most salient aspect of their lives. And yet, they’re an order of magnitude more likely to kill themselves.”

Read more.

[gravetells]

Author Amy Lane on what makes Green’s Hill so special #Quickening #LittleGoddess #UrbanFantasy

If you’re a fan of urban fantasy and you haven’t read Amy Lane’s Little Goddess series, you MUST check it out. The series has a lot of similarities to Laurell K. Hamilton’s Merry Gentry series, but without the retina-burning horror elements and the out-of-control menage. Little Goddess is what Merry Gentry could have been. Don’t let that fool you into thinking this series is “safe”. Vulnerable (the first book in the series) will break your heart, and each new book after it will shock you in ways you can’t predict. But that’s what makes this series dynamite. Author Amy Lane is here today with some personal perspective into what makes Green’s Hill (the series’ home base) so very addicting.

Welcome, Amy Lane!

Why Green’s Hill

I’ve heard it from a lot of people over the years—they wish there was a place like Green’s hill. I mean it’s not perfect—privacy is an illusion, monogamy has all sorts of drawbacks and somebody is literally trying to kill you at every turn.

But the pros are also easy to spot: beautiful people, sexual freedom, guaranteed job security doing whatever you like that helps the collective, and let’s not forget immortality or at least a generously increased lifespan.

Who wouldn’t want to live there?

But people who stop at eternal sex and excellent job training are missing the point.

Mental health problems and drug addictions are sort of my milieu. Not mine personally—in fact, a lot of people I hang out with would be hard pressed to remember seeing me drink more than a glass of wine or a single mojito, and there’s a reason for that. But I’ve seen up close the damage done to lives and promising futures and families when self-medicating one problem with another gets wildly out of hand.

When I was teaching, there were a lot of times I saw the signs of kids who were about ready to fall through those same cracks. There wasn’t much I could do for them—helping them pass English, telling them they had a future, helping them find someone to talk to—in the end, I spent less than 4 ½ hours a week with a kid, and much of that was in the company of 35 other people. (California public schools, where class size is no joke.)

And I had a fondness for kids that nobody else seemed to see. The natural smartass—that was my kid. I didn’t care much if they were always on time—what I liked was a kid who knew how to be late. If a kid got to school late every day, entered the room, sat down, and started the warmup so silently that I didn’t see her, seriously? Why get mad? My personal rule of thumb was that if it didn’t disrupt the learning, I didn’t give a rat’s ass, and the kids who bought into that idea were the kids I showed up for every damned day.

So one day, I was driving to work, and got stuck behind a giant hulking land yacht, rumbling at the U-turn where most of the late-ish teachers were idling. As I was staring into space, pondering the latest urban fantasy novel I’d read, I saw a hand with a cigarette hanging out of the window—the sort of bored smoking that a veteran nicotine addict indulges in.

Then I recognized that kid.

I loved that kid.

She was one of my favorites—she’d already submitted to nursing school, and while she wasn’t top of her class, she was definitely going somewhere.

But the nicotine addiction made me so sad.

Because she wasn’t even eighteen, and that was a thing that would follow her through her entire life. I wanted a do over for her—a chance to re-negotiate that part of her life, to come out with the promising future she’d earned and the zero addictions she deserved.

And then (because seriously, this was a frickin’ long light) I thought about fantasy stories. Why did they only serve the introvert, the super smart kid, the exiled nerd? That always seemed sort of self-aggrandizing to me. I mean, yeah, I was that kid, but I didn’t see any of my favorite kids in my books. The disenfranchised. The ones who didn’t test well, or whose hostility got in the way of their brains sometimes. Remember—this was 2000/2001. There was an entire market of YA books of kids who got addicted to meth and then raped by their dealers (no, I’m not kidding!) but there wasn’t much hope in the way of redemption for those kids.

And not only that, but those books… they always made sex seem like such an awful thing. If you have sex, you’ll break up and you won’t be a virgin for your next boyfriend and that’s BAD! Don’t have sex or do drugs because you’ll become perfectly irredeemable as a person and nobody will ever want you again EVER. OH MY GOD, EVERY MISTAKE YOU MAKE WILL BE HELD AGAINST YOU AND YOU WILL BE JUDGED FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

That’s not the way life works!

Or it shouldn’t be.

One kid doing X at a party shouldn’t get him put in jail for years. One kid who gets high and laid shouldn’t be given up on—ever. And once the addiction started, what then? What happened to that kid whose self-destructive spiral just can’t seem to end?

Because we all know where it does end, don’t we? We’ve seen the commercials and read the literature often enough.

I didn’t make a conscious decision to write Green’s hill that day—but I was writing. When I wrote Cory and Adrian—and then added Green to the mix, I needed Green and Adrian to have a bigger purpose than themselves. They needed to be doing something important, otherwise if Cory ended up with them, she was just trading in one small town dream for another.

And then I realized what job Adrian would be perfect for. What purpose Green’s skill at sex and healing seemed to lend itself to.

If your number one tenet is no shame, and your creed is sensual and consensual, you are the perfect beings to help unfuck the young and the lost, the addicted and the despondent

These two characters—they were agents of redemption. If your number one tenet is no shame, and your creed is sensual and consensual, you are the perfect beings to help unfuck the young and the lost, the addicted and the despondent, those who have been told that their mistakes have rendered them worthless, when the human being who made those mistakes is, in fact, shining and pure and good.

This idea of the found family has become the cornerstone of my writing since then. The theme of forgiveness and empathy being stronger than hatred and shame has crystalized as one of my most dearly held beliefs.

And when I write about Green and Cory, Bracken and Nicky, and dear, darling, beloved Adrian, I am drawn again to the magic of Green’s hill, and reminded that the true magic—forgiveness and unconditional love—are the most human of enchantments.

Forgiveness and unconditional love are the most human of enchantments @AmyMacLane #GreensHill Click To Tweet

  New to the Little Goddess series?

Start with Vulnerable. This is a series you definitely need to read in order! Grab your copy on Amazon below*:

Buy or reserve your copy online at*: Amazon (Kindle) | Dreamspinner Press

Quickening by Amy Lane Published by DSP Publications on May 2nd 2017 Genres: LGBT, Gay, Fantasy, Paranormal, Urban Pages: 316 Add it to your To Read shelf: Goodreads

Find the Author: Website, Blog, Twitter, Facebook, Goodreads, Amazon

Little Goddess: Book Five, Volume One Cory thought she’d found balance on Green’s Hill—sorceress, student, queen of the vampires, wife to three men—she had it down! But establishing her right to risk herself with Green and Bracken had more than one consequence, and now she’s facing the world’s scariest job title: mother. But getting the news that she’s knocked up takes a back seat when a half-elf hunts them down for help. Her arrival brings news that the werewolf threat, which has been haunting them for over a year, has finally arrived on their doorstep—and it’s bigger and more frightening than they’d ever imagined. Cory throws herself into this new battle with everything she’s got—and her men let her do it. Because they all know that whether they defeat this enemy now or later, the thing she’s most afraid of is arriving on a set schedule, and not even Cory can avoid it. The trick is getting her to acknowledge she’s pregnant before she gives birth—or kills herself in denial.

About Amy Lane

Amy Lane has two kids in college, two gradeschoolers in soccer, two cats, and two Chi-who-whats at large. She lives in a crumbling crapmansion with most of the children and a bemused spouse. She also has too damned much yarn, a penchant for action adventure movies, and a need to know that somewhere in all the pain is a story of Wuv, Twu Wuv, which she continues to believe in to this day! She writes fantasy, urban fantasy, and gay romance–and if you accidentally make eye contact, she’ll bore you to tears with why those three genres go together. She’ll also tell you that sacrifices, large and small, are worth the urge to write.

Website | Blog | Twitter | Facebook | Goodreads | Amazon

*This post contains affiliate links.

from Author Amy Lane on what makes Green’s Hill so special #Quickening #LittleGoddess #UrbanFantasy

[viralhottopics]

What is Neil Gorsuch’s religion? It’s complicated

WASHINGTON (CNN)Earlier this month, the Trump administration summoned two dozen religious leaders to a private meeting. The mission: to rally support for Neil Gorsuch, Trump’s Supreme Court nominee.

According to several participants, White House staffers emphasized Gorsuch’s robust defense of religious rights as a judge on the 10th US Circuit Court of Appeals. In one prominent decision, Gorsuch argued that the government should rarely, if ever, coerce the consciences of believers.

Eventually, the conversation turned to Gorsuch’s own religious background.

He was raised Catholic but now worships with his wife and two daughters at St. John’s Episcopal Church in Boulder, Colorado. Like the city, the congregation is politically liberal. It bars guns from its campus and installed solar panels; it condemns harsh rhetoric about Muslims and welcomes gays and lesbians. And its rector, the Rev. Susan Springer, attended the Women’s March in Denver, though not as a form of protest but as a sign of support for “the dignity of every human being.”

Springer says St. John’s is carrying out the covenant Episcopalians recite during baptisms: to strive for justice and peace among all people. Her congregation, she added, includes liberals, conservatives and all political points in between.

“What binds us together as one body is a curiosity and longing to encounter and know God,” she wrote in an email to CNN, “a willingness to explore our own interior selves, and a desire to leave the world in some small way better for our having been in it.”

As Gorsuch’s Senate confirmation hearings approach this week, some hardline conservatives have raised concerns about his choice of church.

“Be advised,” blared a tweet from Bryan Fischer, a host on the American Family Radio Network. “Gorsuch attends a church that is rabidly pro-gay, pro-Muslim, pro-green, and anti-Trump.”

“Is Gorsuch a secret liberal?” asked an op-ed in The Hill, a Washington newspaper.

Another columnist argued that if conservatives complained about Barack Obama’s former pastor, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, shouldn’t they also grumble about Gorsuch’s?

At the meeting in Washington, held in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building next door to the White House, administration officials encouraged the religious leaders to push back against such questions. St. John’s is one of only two Episcopal churches in Boulder, and the other caters to students at the University of Colorado, they said, according to people who attended the meeting. Anyway, Gorsuch should be judged on his judicial opinions, not his pastor’s politics, they argued.

Many Catholics and evangelicals agree, pointing to Gorsuch’s sterling conservative credentials. He is a lifelong Republican and a member of the Federalist Society, a leading conservative legal organization. He has written a scholarly book arguing against assisted suicide and openly admires the late Antonin Scalia, the justice he would replace, a hero to the conservative intellectual elite.

But in the black-and-white world of partisan politics, Gorsuch’s writings and religious life show several strands of gray.

He studied with an eminent Catholic philosopher but attends a progressive Episcopal parish. He has defended the religious rights not only of Christian corporations but also of Muslims and Native Americans. He has thought deeply about morality, but says judges have no right to impose their views on others. He is hailed as the fulfillment of President Trump’s pledge to pick a “pro-life” justice, but has no judicial record on abortion itself.

Even Gorsuch’s own religion is somewhat of a gray area.

If confirmed by the Senate, would Gorsuch be the high court’s only Protestant justice, or its sixth Catholic? His close friends and family offer different answers to that question.

A quiet faith

Gorsuch’s father was not religious, family members say, but his mother, Anne, came from a long line of Irish Catholics.

Rosie Binge, Anne’s sister and Gorsuch’s aunt and godmother, said her parents ferried their seven children to Mass every morning, and dinner was followed by a family recitation of the Rosary.

“I think religion is a big factor in Neil’s life,” Binge said. “When you grow up with someone so devout, it has to rub off on you.”

The three Gorsuch children — Neil, Stephanie and J.J. — attended Mass most Sundays and were enrolled in Catholic schools for much of their early educational lives, family members say.

In his speech accepting Trump’s nomination to the Supreme Court, Gorsuch briefly alluded to his faith, saying it had lifted him through life’s valleys. That was especially true during the early 2000s, said Gorsuch’s younger brother, J.J., when their father, David, suffered from an aneurysm and later died, closely followed by his twin sister. Their mother, Anne, died in 2004.

“It was a tough time for the family,” said J.J. Gorsuch, who worships at a Catholic church in Denver. “I know that prayer, and group prayer, helped sustain him as well as the rest of us.”

After his parents’ death, Neil Gorsuch grew close to his uncle, the Rev. John Gorsuch, an Episcopal priest, who died February 15. On a group call after Neil’s nomination was announced, family members say, the pastor joked that some of the people on the line were Democrats, but all were proud of his nephew.

When the family moved to Washington, where Anne Gorsuch led the Environmental Protection Agency in the early 1980s, Gorsuch attended Georgetown Prep, a Jesuit school in Maryland.

Michael Trent, who has known Gorsuch since they were 14, remembers his close friend as studious but affable, equally at home in the library stacks and outdoors. He kept most of his opinions, including his religious views, private.

“It’s important to him, but in the times we’ve spent together it has not been a big part of the conversation,” said Trent, who lives in Marietta, Georgia. “It’s just one those quiet things you understand about a person.”

Gorsuch is godfather to Trent’s two sons, whom he spoils with presents on birthdays and Christmas, Trent said.

After college and law school, between stints clerking at the Supreme Court, Gorsuch studied legal philosophy at Oxford University in England, where his dissertation was supervised by John Finnis, a giant in the field and a former member of the Vatican’s prestigious International Theological Commission.

Among laypeople, Finnis may be best known for his expositions on natural law, an often-misunderstood area of legal and moral philosophy.

At its heart, natural law refers to a body of norms that adherents believe are not created by humans, but instead are revealed through the application of reason, said Richard Garnett, a professor of political science at the University of Notre Dame Law School, where Finnis now teaches.

Because philosophers like Finnis have employed natural law to argue against abortion and same-sex marriage, the field has become controversial, especially among liberals. In 1994, protesters interrupted an address by Finnis at Harvard, calling him a “hatemonger” and “homophobe.”

In a speech at Notre Dame in 2011, Gorsuch spoke fondly of Finnis, saying, “I have encountered few such patient, kind, and truly generous teachers in my life.”

Some conservatives celebrate Finnis’ influence on Gorsuch. But others worry that natural law will become an unwelcome distraction during Gorsuch’s Senate confirmation hearings, as it was during those of Robert Bork and Justice Clarence Thomas, both of whom expressed their appreciation for the field.

Gorsuch himself drew on natural law while writing his 2006 book “The Future of Assisted Suicide and Euthanasia.” In it, he argued that “all human beings are intrinsically valuable and the intentional taking of human life by private persons is always wrong.”

Conservatives who have read the book say it not only offers indications of Gorsuch’s views on assisted suicide, but abortion as well.

“It is impossible to come away from this rather remarkable book with any conclusion other than that this is a man who has a very high regard for the sanctity and the dignity of human life,” said Timothy Goeglein, vice president for external relations for the evangelical ministry Focus on the Family.

“I am confident that he will be a pro-life justice,” said Marilyn Musgrave, vice president of government affairs for the Susan B. Anthony List, an anti-abortion group.

Despite Trump’s pledge to pick a “pro-life” justice, Leonard Leo, who advised the president on Supreme Court nominees, said the issue was never explicitly raised during their discussions.

In Green v. Haskell County Board of Commissioners, Gorsuch dissented from a decision that forced an Oklahoma town to remove a 10 Commandments monument from the lawn of its courthouse.

In American Atheists v. Davenport, Gorsuch joined a minority opinion that argued that a “reasonable observer” would not necessarily view crosses erected on public property in honor of Utah state troopers as a government endorsement of religion.

In Abdulhaseeb v. Calbone, Gorsuch argued that a Muslim inmate can claim that his religious rights were violated by an Oklahoma prison that refused to provide halal food.

In Yellowbear v. Lampert, Gorsuch argued that a Wyoming prison violated a Native American prisoner’s religious rights by refusing to grant him access to the prison’s sweat lodge.

In Hobby Lobby v. Sebelius, Gorsuch wrote a lengthy defense of a Christian family business who said the Affordable Care Act’s contraception mandate impinged on their freedom of religion.

In Little Sisters of the Poor v. Burwell, Gorsuch joined the dissent in siding with an order of nuns who likewise refused to comply with the contraception mandate, arguing that it violated their religious consciences.

“Judge Gorsuch wasn’t asked about it, and he’s not going to make a commitment on it,” said Leo, who has taken a leave from his job heading the Federalist Society while he shepherds Gorsuch’s nomination through the Senate.

Gorsuch himself cautioned senators against reading too much into his work in moral philosophy when he was nominated to the 10th Circuit Court of Appeals in 2006. “My personal views, as I hope I have made clear, have nothing to do with the case before me in any case,” he said. “The litigants deserve better than that, the law demands more than that.”

In that regard, Gorsuch said he closely follows the man he would replace on the Supreme Court. In a speech shortly after Scalia’s death last year, Gorsuch said the “great project” of the late justice’s life had been to argue for a strict separation of powers between judges and legislators.

Lawmakers may appeal to public and personal morality, Gorsuch said, but judges never should. Their job, he said, is to interpret the law, rendering decisions based on what the text says, not what they believe.

Other legal scholars say that’s unrealistic. No matter how hard judges try, their personal passions and partisan leanings always seep, even unconsciously, into their decisions.

Episcopalian or Catholic?

When Neil Gorsuch returned from his studies in Oxford, he came home a married man. His British-born wife, Louise, was raised in the Church of England. As the new family settled in Vienna, Virginia, they joined Holy Comforter, an Episcopal parish.

According to church records, the Gorsuches were members of Holy Comforter from 2001 to 2006, when they moved to Colorado. But on membership forms, Neil listed his religion as Catholic, and there is no record that he formally joined the Episcopal Church, said the Rev. Lyndon Shakespeare, Holy Comforter’s interim rector.

That’s not unusual, Shakespeare said.

The Catholic and Episcopal churches may differ on politics, but their worship services can be quite similar, and a number of Catholics worship at Episcopal parishes without formally changing their religious identity. The churches recognize each other’s baptisms and marriages, but the Catholic Church does not regard celebrations of Holy Communion at Episcopal services as valid, experts say.

When the Gorsuch family moved to Colorado, they joined St. John’s, where they have been active in Sunday services. Louise is a lay reader, the couple’s two daughters likewise assist in the liturgy as acolytes and Neil has been an usher.

Friends and family say Louise Gorsuch has an affinity for the liturgy and music at St. John’s, finding in it an echo of her upbringing in the Church of England.

“Many of the hymn texts and musical settings are centuries old, some dating to the earliest centuries of Christianity,” said Springer, the church rector. “For people who have been life-long Anglicans, this music ties back to childhood.”

Springer declined to speak in detail about the Gorsuches, but in a recent church newsletter she praised Neil as “a broad-thinking” and thoughtful man.

In a statement, the congregation of St. John’s echoed that sentiment:

“We know Neil as a man of great humility and integrity, one eager to listen and thoughtful in speaking. These qualities are ones we pray all public servants in any leadership role in our country might possess. We care deeply for Louise and the girls and know them as people of solid faith. We give thanks to God for the presence of this family in our midst.”

Springer said she doesn’t know whether Gorsuch considers himself a Catholic or an Episcopalian.

“I have no evidence that Judge Gorsuch considers himself an Episcopalian, and likewise no evidence that he does not.”

Gorsuch’s younger brother, J.J., said he too has “no idea how he would fill out a form. He was raised in the Catholic Church and confirmed in the Catholic Church as an adolescent, but he has been attending Episcopal services for the past 15 or so years.”

Trent, Gorsuch’s close friend, said he believes Gorsuch would consider himself “a Catholic who happens to worship at an Episcopal church.”

Rosie Binge said her family was surprised to see media reports calling her nephew an Episcopalian. “I think once you’re a Catholic, you’re always a Catholic,” she said, before adding with a laugh, “At least he’s going to church!”

Binge is right about the Catholic Church.

Once baptized Catholic, a person enters an unbreakable theological communion, even if he or she later worships in a different church, said William Daniel, a canon law expert at Catholic University in Washington, DC.

“We would say that fundamentally such a person is still Catholic, even if they are living out their life as a Lutheran or Episcopalian. We wouldn’t confront the person, but if they asked, we would say: Yes, you’re still a part of the Catholic Church.”

Daniel emphasized that he was not speaking specifically about Gorsuch.

Gorsuch could also call himself an Episcopalian if he meets the church’s minimum standards for membership: Being baptized Christian, receiving Holy Communion at least three times a year and supporting the church through prayer and financial donations.

“The intent here is key,” said the Rev. Thomas Ferguson, an Episcopal priest and an expert on its relationships with other churches. “If he intends to be an Episcopalian he could certainly be considered one.”

This may seem academic, but the religious composition of the Supreme Court is closely watched by many believers. There has not been a Protestant on the Supreme Court since Justice David Souter, an Episcopalian, retired in 2009, and many Protestants eagerly anticipate Gorsuch’s confirmation as a religious milestone. Currently, there are five Catholics and three Jews on the high court.

“In the interest of pluralism, it’s about time we had a Protestant on the Supreme Court,” said Richard Land, president of Southern Evangelical Seminary and a member of Trump’s evangelical advisory board during the campaign. They still advise his administration.

“Would I be happier if he were going to a more traditional Episcopal Church? Yeah, I’d be happier for him,” Land continued.

“But I’m more concerned with his views on the Constitution than where he goes to church.”

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