#euthenasia mention

[marswasnothere]

Mars I am a pathetic mess of a person rn this cold wants to murder me in cold blood. I barely slept through the night bc it turns out that the body is incapable of sneezing whilst sleeping, who would’ve thunk it

Do you have anything more about Max speaking Dutch to induce pupspace? I really like the idea but I think if I let my two brain cells touch to think about it this headache will get worse. Np if not, just really like the universes you’ve come up with - 🧚🏻

Something something Daniel just retired and gone back to the Perth farm and Max is there also because yes

Daniel's been dealing with the grief of a midseason swap and getting dropped from his lifelong dream without knowing it was his final goodbye, and hes just been doing farming stuff, staying quiet online, pushing that sadness down, bottling it up to cry it out at a later date, which he keeps pushing back and back in favour of entertaining himself. One thing he could be doing to make himself feel better is his pupspace, but hes avoiding it. Doesn't do it when he's alone, keeps his pup stuff in boxes, even when Max is over and tries to initate some play, he just says "nah not tonight :)" but later never comes.

Max decides one day to take out his collar and leash and talk in dutch for the evening, after Daniel has done literally everything he needs to do around the farm and is trying to find something else to busy himself with so he doesn't crawl on back to his phone.

"Daniel, wil je wat drinken?"

Daniels brain goes blank for a second. It sounds english enough but its not it but is it but its not- oh its just dutch. He can make an educated guess and responds back to Max in english.

"Je moet jezelf laten ontspannen, puppy," Max says as he comes back with a glass of juice.

Daniel tells Max he doesn't want to do that tonight, but there's something tingling in the back of his mind when he can quite grasp what Max is saying, so he cuts himself off mid sentence and snuggles into his blanket.

"Jij blijft hier, ik moet met de ingenieurs praten. Wist je dat het in Engeland 12.00 uur is?" Max says, pulling his laptop out and sitting on the sofa next to Daniel, resting his hand on where Daniel's thigh probably is.

He's catching a few familiar words, the rest is stuffed he never asked Max to teach him. He hums instead of responding anything. Max starts typing.

He's starting to slip.

Max is doing this very, very intentionally. Making Daniel hear him like how any dog would, just the key words, the commands, the praises. He's slipping, he shouldn't want to, he told himself he wouldn't but here he is, with the urge to woof tickling his throat.

"Als je een brave pup bent, krijg je een traktatie."

He glances up at Max, then at the collar and leash he has on the other side of the sofa.

"Een treat, Daniel."

He perks up at that. He doesn't mean to, but he does.

"Ja, dat zou je wel willen, natuurlijk?"

Daniel nods. He must have the most pathetic expression on his face right now, bundled up under a blanket, all red and blushy, eyebags more prominent than ever. He feels like he's an elderly dog two weeks away from euthenasia rather than a puppy that Max wants him to be.

"Wilt u uw hals- collar, omdoen?"

He whines. Crawls over to Max. Who puts his laptop down. Puts collar on him. Dark blue. Click leash on. Pets head. Hold face. Hold cheeks. Kiss nose. Kiss tears. Cry- crying? Max kisses crying. Max hugs. Holds. Holds. Holds. Warm. Nice. Cry. Holds. Warm. Holds.

[shownumetal]

this vet is so crazybjfjdks he was listening to cady’s heart and talking to the vet tech like “why don’t you look up that vet that does at home euthenasia….for the patient in room 1” GIRL???

[uhzuku]

Day 1 of asking for more catzawa content

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔. | 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮-𝐧𝐲𝐚.

𝐂𝐖 ‼️ | hybrids, hybrid au, no quirks, biting, some angst, biting as a fear response, cat hybrid aizawa, blood, slight gore, self loathing, catzawa being emo.

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: as someone who’s been attacked by a dog, i can guarantee this is actually exactly how it goes dhcbdhbchf that medical emergency i mentioned back in august was oiterally me being attacked by a dog and having my hand uh. annihalated a lil 💀💀.

Honestly, it was all a complete accident, really. One moment you’d been easing into joking with the hybrid you’d gotten three weeks before, and the next he was tearing into your hand and sending blood across the couch and floor. 

It was, at most, your fault, and you knew that — you’d touched him before he was ready, and on his blind side as well, so you should have expected it. In your core ( and at the back of your mind ) you knew that it was a freak accident though.  You’d nearly slipped off the couch due to your socks not having a grip on the hardwood floor of your living room, and in an effort to save yourself you’d grabbed his shoulder on his blind side — and the rest was a blur of snarling, blood, and the sound of your own screeching. He’d turned in an instant, burying his teeth in your hand and jerking his head violently enough that you could almost swear you’d heard your own flesh tear ( but wasn't that dramatic? surely you couldn’t actually hear such a thing ). You’d lost focus for a second, shrieking at the pain of the torn flesh as well as the stabbing cold air on parts of you it wasn’t supposed to touch, and your shrieks were seemingly what woke Shouta up — at least, it’s what you believed. 

Really it was the taste of iron on his tongue. Your screams were nowhere near piercing enough to break through the way he’d blacked out from fear — there was always screaming, after all: in the shelter, in the fight ring his first owners had kept him in, in the two homes he’d had when he was young, and now here — but the taste of blood, your blood, was enough to jolt him out of the blackout, and that’s when your screams reached his ears. He had enough mind to unlock his jaw and stop jerking his head, spitting out your hand and leaping away as you stagger back away from him, your eyes as wide and panicked as his own. 

“I — I — I-!” he whimpers, unable to get his words out. No, no, no, no, no! Shouta hisses in his mind, his eyes wide as he stares at the blood running down your hand. Drops were quickly puddling on the floor, building in size until you’d clearly lost an amount that was alarmingly substantial. Shouta wanted to help, but God, what was he supposed to do? This was his fault — fuck, he was going to go back to the shelter. You’d report the bite, he’d get a bite record and be labeled aggressive, and with how slim his chances were before with how old and mangled he was, he’d never be adopted again. He was going to go back, and he was going to die in that place. 

“F-Fuck, that’s a lot,” you whisper breathlessly, shaking him out of his shock, and he starts to tremble at how hollow your eyes look. He sees you swallow hard, and he fights the urge to cower. “Fuck, okay. Okay. We’re gonna — stay here, okay? I need to go to the hospital, this is… this is not good.”

You stagger away from his crumpled up form and into the kitchen, not doing your usual check in that you did when he’d occasionally cower as you grab a hand towel to wrap around the gushing wound, and as the door closes behind you, he’s left in a silence permeated only by the scent of your blood. He trembles from his place pressed back into the corner by the entertainment center, but nothing happens, not yet anyway. 

Shouta knew what was going to happen. You would be fixed up at the hospital, then return with hybrid control, who would take him back to the shelter in a muzzle that would cut his jaw up again. If you miraculously didn’t demand euthenasia he’d be written up with a bite record and placed in the very back room with a muzzle on at all times, clipped with a padlock all the way around his skull so he couldn’t remove it on his own. At best he’d be sold to another fight ring, at worst he’d die alone in the dark, and all the while he’d know it was his own fault. You were falling, not attacking. Why did he have to be so fucked up?

After another moment of silence Shouta flees to the bedroom you’d given him, worming his way beneath the bed and hiding. He knew he was too old for it, but his remaining eye stung with unshed tears and his body shook slightly from fearful trembling. He didn’t want the shelter, he liked it here — but he’d ruined everything. 

It’s four hours before you return, and Shouta’s dozed off in his little hiding spot by then, but he wakes up immediately as the door opens. He can hear someone talking to you at the front of the house, but the strange voice disappears and the door closed immediately after, so he can only assume that it’s whichever neighbor you’d had drive you to the hospital — likely the old, tall, and skinny blond man who adored his garden that you were fond of, he seemed to have a soft spot for you. 

A half hour passes. Shouta listens with ears twitching between being pinned back and pressing forward a little as you putter around, and then the safety breaks. 

“Shouta? Where are you?” His one eye flashing with panic, Shouta pushes himself further back against the wall the bed was against; you couldn’t send him back if you couldn’t find him. “Shouta?”

He can hear you creeping closer to his room, and his heart pounds ruthlessly in his chest. You’re going to find him and hate him and send him back — God, he can’t go back, he’ll die-

“Are you in here?” you ask through the door, and he doesn’t reply. After a moment, you continue. “I’m assuming you are… Yagi and I brought dinner home on the way back, so if you’re hungry you can come get some.” Ha! Likely. Shouta plays with the claw on his left index finger with his ears pinned back nervously, and after another while you sigh. “You aren’t in trouble, Shouta. And I’m not mad at you, I promise.”

I wish I could believe you. 

“I’ll be in the living room if you need me; I’m off work for the next month or so, so it’ll just be us here — I hope that won’t bother you too much.” Your voice is sad, Shouta notes, and his eye stings again in time with his bottom lip trembling a little. What was the real point of putting it all off? Once you were tired of this hide and seek game he’d started you’d just have hybrid control forcibly remove him — maybe it would be easier if he just… accepted it, and went out. 

After all, he was hungry…

Swallowing hard, Shouta hauks himself out from the cramped spot under the bed, shaking the dust bunnies off, then carefully pads out, following the faint smell of takeout. He passes by the living room, and he can see you sitting on the couch, but you don’t acknowledge him as he passes by, and — oh. 

The blood he’d spilled that had been cast all over the floor was cleaned.

A new surge of guilt fills him. You’d cleaned all traces of his mistake up — or maybe Yagi had? He wasn’t in here for long though… Regardless, he should have been the one to clean it, and he’d left it to you. No wonder he was being sent back to the shelter. 

He really was a bad fucking cat hybrid. 

He worms his way into the living room, half to eat with your silent permission and half to assess the damage to your arm — but upon entering, you’ve moved, and you’re staring him down. Unlike the last time, his freeze response triggers, and he stands there staring at you while his breathing grows heavier and heavier. 

God. You look so tired. 

“Are you okay?” you finally ask, breaking the silence, and it stuns him for a moment before he shakes his head to clear it. 

“I — what?” he asks, voice slightly gravelly from disuse, and you take on a look of concern. 

“Are you okay?” you repeat, your brows furrowing. Shouta shakes his head violently. He doesn’t understand. 

“Why are you asking if I’m okay?! I ripped you up!” he snarls, tossing his plate onto the table next to him, and you nod for a moment as he calms himself down after the outburst. 

Once he’s calm, you ask, “Did you start the day off intending to?” and it makes him freeze, his brain metaphorically stuttering. 

“N-No, of course not—!”

“Then that doesn’t matter,” you say, shrugging. “What does matter is you being okay — I scared you when I grabbed you, and I hope I didn’t accidentally hurt your shoulder too,”

“… You… You didn’t…” Shouta whispers, borderline mystified that you somehow… aren’t angry with him. 

You nod with a sigh through the tiniest of smiles as you cradle your bandaged arm in your lap. “That’s a relief.”

The two of you go silent for a moment, and Shouta’s mind races. Somehow you weren’t angry with him, even though he deserved it, and you’d still fed him and hadn’t yelled — but oh, maybe this was a fucked up way of giving him a last meal before he returned, and you’d never been one for raising your voice anyway… 

“When will I be going back?” he finally asks, a thick sense of half-grief settling in his chest. 

He’d miss it here. 

You look confused. “Going back? Where?” you ask, and Shouta sighs; you were really going to make him say it out loud; how humiliating. 

“The shelter,” he grits out, his tail tucked and food forgotten as he stares down at his feet. 

“Why would you ever go back there?!” you exclaim, sitting up abruptly with a half hidden wince that he doesn’t miss. 

“I — You don’t want me anymore?” He can’t help that it comes out as a question — Shouta’s so fucking confused. “I hurt you.”

You shake your head at him, seemingly in disbelief. “On accident! And it was my fault, you told me the day I got you that you don’t like being touched.”

“But I bit—“ he argues, and you interrupt. 

“On accident. Right?” you ask firmly, and he nods hesitantly. 

“… Yes,” he whispers, “but—“

“Then there was no problem,” You say gently, then tip your head ever so slightly away from him. “Now come watch TV with me — your favorite is on.”

He does nothing but stare at you for a moment, your warmth and gentleness alien to him. Shouta knew humans, he’d been around them since he’d been born, but you? You were so different than every other human he’d come across — you didn’t hit, you didn’t yell, you didn’t threaten. You fed and you clothed and you comforted — and Shouta truthfully did not know what to do with that. All his life he’d been treated like a fighting mutt and like a useless object to possess, and now suddenly he was worth something to a human who treated him well? How was he supposed to easily process this? None of these thoughts, however, stopped him from obediently ( albeit hesitantly ) stalking fully into the livingroom and nestling himself against the far arm of the couch to watch television with you. 

If you weren’t going to be rid of him yet, he might as well enjoy the time he had left. 

[mylovelies-docx]

Sorry, I Love You - Part 11

Ooooof. Sorry for this. But I'm also double sorry for what comes after :)

Plot: You and Bucky have a good thing going - best of friends that also have more than a little chemistry between the sheets. Everything is fine until you develop feelings for the man who doesn't want a relationship. What will happen when Bucky finds out?

C/W: Angst, HYDRA experiments, blood, wounds, disturbing visions, mentions of death.

Word Count: 1,085

Tag List: NOW CLOSED! If you'd like to keep up with this story, please follow my blog and turn on notifications! ❤️ you :)

[Prologue][Part 1][Part 2][Part 3][Part 4][Part 5][Part 6][Part 7][Part 8][Part 9][Part 10]

You stumble inside, gasping for breath.

The wound on your side needs immediate attention but you scramble around the abandoned home instead, blood and gunk oozing down and drip, drip, dripping onto the rotten wooden floors. You riffle through the drawers in the wobbly oak desk and come away with a blunt pencil before moving on to the bookshelves along the walls, dust covering the dry, cracked spines of the novels. You love books so much that you hate to even dog-ear your copies, but you proceed to rip out a few title pages and epigraphs, needing clean space to write.

You know there’s not enough time to both patch yourself up and write down your final words, so you can only hope that you’ll be cognizant enough to get down what you need to.

You clutch the papers and pencil in one hand and begin making your way to the small table and chair set off to the side of the kitchen. Pausing at the entryway, you use the other hand to apply pressure around the arrow jutting from just under your ribcage. 

You hiss at the pain, looking down at your blood-covered fingers and noticing rivulets of bright blue that had been hidden within the hollow shaft of the arrow. You had noticed a hollow pop when you snapped the fletching off back in the woods. You were still clear-headed enough at the time to realize that the inside had a coating of blue liquid. There wasn’t enough of it on the ground to fill the shaft, so the rest of it must have already been injected into your body – the arrow must have been triggered to inoculate upon penetration. 

You only had a limited amount of time to figure out what was going to happen to you, but knowing how HYDRA operates, you’ve decided to err on the side of caution and assume that death is imminent. Despite working at the facility for the past couple of months, you can’t determine what the blue liquid is. It could be any number of hallucinogens, anticoagulants, euthenasia agents, or something you hadn’t encountered yet.

You had run until you found this house, a good twenty miles from the facility and even further from your pre-determined evac point with Bucky in case shit hit the fan. Your pounding heart had only exacerbated your problems, increasing your blood loss and quickening the circulation of the substance through your bloodstream. You’d grown paranoid on your journey here, flinching at every sound and jumping at figures that seemed to leap at you from behind the trees. Darkness descended upon the forest and the shadows grew spindly fingers that seemed to snatch at your ankles. 

You come back to yourself, standing under the archway only a few feet from your destination. You shake your head, clearing away the spiders that had started to spin webs between your eyelashes. Without them in the way, the shadows only grew bolder – whipping out and slashing you to ribbons. The sleeves that had been protecting your arms are torn to shreds, small welts and bloody cuts evident through the holes.

Focusing back on the task at hand, you finish hobbling over to the rusty metal table. You slam the writing materials on the bumpy surface, bending over to pick up the fallen chair. You settle yourself onto the moth-eaten cushion, the wooden posts against your back creaking in protest. 

The shadows crawl over your shoulders and perch there, staring down at your hand as you try to write. The paper rotates under the pencil, turning your letters unintelligible. You hadn’t wanted to mar the letter with your blood, but you reluctantly pull the hand staunching the flow of warmth from your side and press it delicately to the top of the page, holding it in place.

As you write, tears pool along your lower lashes. The spiders titter happily, poking at the salty water and causing it to spill over onto your cheeks. The little creatures don’t appear interested in mopping up the liquid on your face with their little hairy bodies, because you see tear stains appear on the paper underneath you as the droplets collect on your chin and rain down.

You need to get this all out before you lose the one train of thought that still remains unscathed. The one topic inside your head that still makes sense, that you can still understand. 

Well, one that you used to understand. Bucky had been the one constant in your life until he wasn’t. Until you ruined it. Your conversation that was supposed to fix everything today never happened. So everything left unsaid between you and Bucky will remain that way, unless you get these words down. 

You’ll never know what Bucky was going to say, but at least he’ll be able to hear your side.

You can’t help but watch, fascinated, as lights begin to dance over your hand and the letter. Looking up, you can see that the entire table and wall opposite the window next to you also flicker brightly. The shapes dazzle your eyes, reflecting off the tears still gathering, and blind you intermittently as they bounce around.

You close your eyes against the lights wreaking havoc on your pupils, but the images that flash behind your eyelids are even more torturous. 

It’s your life before Great Fuck-Up. 

Bucky’s smiling face as he laughs at one of your sarcastic comments, his intent eyes and cocky smirk when he knew you were thinking about him, all the silly little moments you spent together that meant so much to you.

But then the images switch and you recognize immediately that you’re now in The After: the cold blue eyes, grimacing mouth, and the loneliness that came along with your confession. The anger and pain in Bucky’s voice when he turned you down, when he said he regretted the time spent with you. 

You inhale shakily as a sob tries to make its way up your throat and past your molten lips. Your hands tremble uncontrollably and the pencil slips through your fingers and rolls, rolls, rolls across the neverending table until it disappears over the edge that hadn’t been there seconds ago. There’s nothing to do except look back down at the page.

There’s only a few lines written, but if this is all you can manage then it will just have to be good enough. Knowing that these are your last moments, you’re glad that you could at least get these words off your chest. You hope that these last few words will be a consolation. To Bucky, to Nat, and Steve, and Sam, and Wanda, and, and, and a million other people that you’re going to miss – that will miss you.

Thinking of all the people you’re leaving behind brings into sharp relief just how lonely you are. You’re stuck in a long abandoned home, freezing, bleeding out, and unable to call for help. Even during your time away, you’d never felt this agonizing loneliness. This pain that manifests as a hollow feeling that echoes in your abdomen, as invisible hands grabbing and twisting at your heart. 

God. What is Bucky going to do now that you’re not going to be able to complete the mission? You did all you could, downloaded and scrubbed all the data before setting the self-destruct sequence into motion, but was it enough? You don’t remember a big fireball in the sky and quaking earth under your feet as you ran away, but maybe you were just too out of it to notice. 

You can’t help but feel guilty that Petre and his family got wrapped up in the situation, that their only way to move forward and help Sasha was to join that horrible, awful institution. But honestly, death is probably the best outcome for Sasha after everything HYDRA has done to her, whatever they’ve made her body dependent on.

Sharp pain flares from your chest and ricochets behind your ribs, forcing a cry from your lips. The pain continues to grow and spread, encroaching on your organs and traveling through your limbs - but all the sudden it’s gone and a crawling, slithering, pulsing numbness takes its place. Your bones and muscles and ligaments turn to jelly and you slide sideways out of the chair, landing hard on the rotten floor but not feeling it.

The pain is gone, but your emotions remain. You can’t help but remember all the time you spent training, spent getting to know the team, spent making life-long friendships. You just didn’t realize that life-long would be so short.

The lights on the wall grow more intense, more numerous, and you can hear howling, baying, snarling monsters sprinting to your final resting place. You can only hope that you’ll be gone by the time they sink their vicious fangs and terrible claws into your soft and squishy flesh. 

You thought that you would take any company over the aching loneliness you feel, but you realize that maybe being alone isn’t the worst thing in the end. At least no one has to see you cry, and shiver, and shake, and watch as your chest refuses to rise and your heart refuses to pump and the light leaves your eyes.

Yeah, no one should see that. You want them to remember you how you were: happy sometimes, a pain in the ass a lot of times, and – hopefully – as a good friend, a good teammate, a good person. You know there’s so many things you could have done differently, but does it even matter now? 

You can see the clothes piled on your floor back in New York, the cereal bowl left on your nightstand from a midnight snack, all the makeup scattered across your counter from girls’ night out. The pillow slumped against the door and tear stains soaking your bed sheets at the house you share with Bucky only a handful of miles away.

You see the half-finished books on your shelf, the unsung songs on your playlists, the stories you never told and never heard, and the conversations left unfinished, the words left unsaid. 

You wish that your last thoughts before you die were happy, that you could watch your life back over and not regret so much, that you could see your family and friends and Bucky one last time.

But that isn’t in the cards for you. The monsters from outside have finally reached the house, slamming open the door and shattering what’s left of the windows. Shadows converge on you from every angle, crowding your eyes and compressing your lungs more and more and more until there’s no room left to expand. Until you can’t take in any air. Gasping, gasping, gasping. Until the room fades out and so does your heartbeat.

Part 12

Tag list: @jackiehollanderr @rabbitrabbit12321 @12345sebby @blackwood-bodecker-housewife @lauraashley93 @themorningsunshine @happinessinthebeing @nash-dara @calwitch @stany0url0calwh0res111 @pono-pura-vida @learisa @introverbatim @kentokaze @marvelogic @kaz11283 @terry2227

[deadtiredghost]

So I watched the entirety of Mashle as a drinking game and these are my non-coherent, drunkard rambling thoughts on the anime. (Sploilers obvs).

Mash - is it better than HP; not objectively, but do I enjoy watching it far more, yes 1000x yes.

"Our world has no shortage of problems" - UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY

Mash is so smart when it comes to fighting and so dumb when it comes to literally anything else. I love this boy. Mash is so cute when he lies. I want to adopt him so bad. The paternal feelings haven't been so strong in a whileeee. (Not about anyone other than the turtles)

He just really loves creampuffs. He has an unconscious reflex to people taking his creampuffs.

"I see you as nothing but an unusually clever rabbit" - ironic because most people might see Mash as the opposite of clever.

For a comedy anime Mashle is so dark. Like the world is so fucked and euthenasia is the norm. But here I am making a drinking game out of the comedy anime and casually ignoring all the child abuse and trauma all the characters go through - someone should write an analysis on that.

Mash forgives people way too easily - 'since u have feelings I guess ur not a shit person even if u crippled and thus sent to be euthanized a whole host of students.'

I love that Ron Weasley-s wand has barbed wire around it - it's so unnecessary.

Unironically I love Love, or whatever her name is. Reminds me of Teruhashi but less developed and I hope he does get more developedz.ź

"I think Mask Guy wants to eat cream puffs too" • A line you would only see from this show • *talking about a guy who is actively dying from being impaled*

Every single villain: and they failed to consider that... Mash was just built different.

Abel: my mother taught me morals. I forgot them for 10 years but now they're all coming rushing back to me after Mash suplexed me and gave me brain damage.

Rayne's reaction to the green haired shit is overboard to us and the main characters, there is no use in continuing to kick someone while they're down, but from his point of view he has probs had to deal with similar people over and over for his entire life and gotten bored of them double crossing him or something. Sidenote: i have never met a "Rayne" (that spelling or otherwise) that isn't genderqueer in some regard.

In universe they mention machine guns and bunting from baseball whÿyyyyyy .

Was this world Formerly the real world?

It happened in Tokyo Revengers too, but what's with characters being like "if u don't have anything to live for, live for me in servitude"? Like... u don't owe them ur life and death my dude. There are other things to live for than a maniacle megalomaniac

I love Mask Guy! And where the fuc is Lance? How long has Lance just been absent? Who the fuc is this random that appeared out of no where to tattle that Mash has no magic? Why is this show so fucking random?

Finally we r on season 2 and I get the fun opening - it has been in my brain since Jan when I first watched the op on youtube (Basement gang danced to it)

(Does anyone else pace to music? Or is it just me doing maladaptive daydreaming shit?) Blim blam blam blim blam blam blim blam blam boom.

Season 2 opens to: GASLIGHTING

Just the casual threat of euthanasia hanging over Mash's shoulders at all time.

Is 'blight-blood'a slur? That deffo counts as a slur. Worse than 'no-mage' at least.

Mash gave Mask Guy a handkerchief that healed him being impaled in the chest - and that was a pretty serious impalement. So why couldn't any of the school nurses help Ron Weasley?

Best line in the whole series: "forgive him, Abyss calls girls 'females' that's how little experience he has with them." 😂😭😂😭😂😭

It would have been fun if the blonde dude in season 2 was the dad of draco malfoy in season 1 - he isn't but it would have been fun if we got a return of the draco malfoy character humbled.

Tho he is incredibly powerful but no one respects him and I don't understand that.

*Mash does anything* - looks like magic to me!

Japanese dub: You're a (in english) NICE GUY Eng Subtites: you're hot stuff

Everything everyone does in this show is so unnecessary - what is it even for? (Sand guy I'm looking at u)

Okay but tell me that in an alternate universe the Divine Visionaries aren't just a harem anime with an aromantic Mash in the middle.

What Rayne says: I agree with the headmaster's opinion What Rayne means: my brother is weak and this no-mag accepted my bunnies

I find it interesting that Dumbledore has one line. U know he got more somewhere.

Can you have extra lines elsewhere? Like not ur face? On ur arse? Tramp stamp line?

WHERE is the government? Is it jus the Jesus ppl that are doing all this? Is the government the schoo?

Mash coming in like a caterilla will never mot be funny to me. My friend: "I feel like I've been witness to a crime."

I love the soundtrack. "It's so heavy that no one can lift it!" - I wonder where this is gonna go. Who fucking made it then?

OLIVER WOOD IS BACK! I forgot he existed.

Unpopular opinion: I like Margarette. I get that their design plays on tropes, but at the same time, people do be like that. Not like how Margrette acts but looks. Man really go told something opposing her worldview and then played the piano. But also she has the best lipstick. I would have preferred it if Margarette wasn't portrayed as creepy by thr characters around him, but I'm just happy to have a he/she/they character in a show I like. (Same Margarette same)

I don't think she is any more goofy than any other villain character in this show so far. I also don't think that the character is meant to be harmful. I can see why people might dislike her, especially considering past anime and the failed rep that ends up judt offensive, but to only see good trans rep as characters who "pass" and look gender conforming is harmful in itself. You can clearly see that Margarette is gender-non-conforming in his design, they are such an icon. Jawline doesn't determine the gender of the character! And I don't believe that Margarette is an "Okama" in any way of the word.

We support women's rights and their wrongs in this household.

"I'm not putting tartar sauce on my shrip... I'm putting shrimp on my tartar sauce." • My baby bro showed me this like 3 yrs ago in the manga and I didn't rlly know what he was on about until I started watching this awesome show.

I love the use of the soundtrack tho. I love Margarette but why is she like this? (I scream out when he starts playing the piano) why are the eyes rolled back 😭😭😭

Are they playing tabletop role play games!!! D60? Anyone? Skip 320 turns????? Wtf? Dnd would be a very different game is those where them rules. There is no way that fucking dice is a D100.

I love all the characters they are so goofy.

I feel so bad for finn rn in the tournament like - someone keep him safe!

Mash flatlined at the prospect of doing academic work - for half a second there he was fucking dead

Why is he breakdancing? I need therapy after this. I don't understand.HOW DID IT WORK!!!!

Is the odd guy actually chill? WHAT THE FUC? I thought Orca didn't matter. But the orca guy is hot at least - it's the hair for me. WHY R ALL THE HOT ONES EVIL! I like Rayne best tho.

Man got held back a year get fucked. I feel bad for the guy who helped Mash - I was so sus of him

Same Mash, I'm having a hard time retaining attention on the rules too 😭 All the sympathy left my body at the smashed crystals.

In the op Dumbledor is in a sheet. No top just a sheet covering his nips. Is anyone else seeing this?

I've been routing for fin the entire time tho - he has rayne's genes! FUCK YEA FINN - ugh. I wanted Finn to do something. Sorry I'm going back to Tokyo Revengers, but Takemichi being beaten and beaten and continously getting up and not relenting for his friends is so powerful, in comparison to Finn where it feels more like a damsel. I love Finn and I want him to get more powerful so we can get something badass out of him, but this episode was not it rlly. Not yet anyways.

Creepy wand alert! And I usually like anatomical hearts.

How did Mash just do that? That the fuc? U can't sculpt that with ur hands. I was almost expecting a Yor.

He's doing a Gaara - why the redhead doing a Gaara? Margareit being fucking horrifying rn. I know he is the bad guy, but that doesn't mean that they're the bad guy.

Not everyone underestimating my boi Rayne - they have proved themselves!

Sand fuck I'd called Madl? Mans name is fucking: Oter Madl?

We haven't had an opportunity to play the drinking game much season 2.

Mash: ah ur the guy who bullied me the other day Guy: want to play a little game? Alright jigsaw

THEYRE RIPPING OFF MY GOAT ITACHI!

"It's obvious ur attempting to guard something" wtf is wrong w mash - seriously. I love him but my god.

How does he do that? That's not something strength does??!! - built different.

Quadriceps magic - why even bother at this point. Everyone knows.

Mash's face: I didn't sign up for this shit

Margareit looks so cute with hair - idk how she did it but they look so cute with it. Her eyelashes tho!

Is Mash's ear his weakness? Same. When someone gets to close I feel a shiver and freeze up. It's the autism.

Margaret's power is actually pretty cool tho

GET UR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF MY SON! Dumbledore plz save him.

It's giving slightly more than creepy.

I was under suspicion that dumbledor was a natural triple liner... but oh my gosh. This is orochimaru shit.

The autism is strong with this one.

Mash's father is so wholesome!

This group is desestible

I will never forget that Mash named his individual muscles - its funny but also he was entirely alone his entire childhood so its kind of sad if I think about it

Ginger afro kid doing a Brock

I love that the school is called Easton - it's so generic English prep school.

Mash's gym clothes are just one with his body.

All the Jesus metaphors are in abundance with this show tho 😭

They're so fucking dramatic. All of them.

Sand guy is such a fucking loser tho.

Sidenote: who names their kid Cell War?

Woop woop necromancy! I would care more about any of this if they gave more screentime and build up to the villain characters, but ya I called it a long time ago and I'm not mad - it's a gag anime with casual euthanasia mentions, what more could u want?

Idk how to feel about 2-bit-merlin (who is literallt called Adam Jobs but is nothing like Steve Johs thank fuc) being silly goofy in the flashback but I love the design of the guy with the sharp teeth - I love me some sharp toothed character.

"It had the best specs" fr fr

Imagine being a bystander watching anime fights but not being able to hear the inner thoughts... they're just floating there

I didn't know they went Super Saiyan in Harry Potter!

In one shot it looked like Dumbledor had a hearing aid?

Wow I forgot that literally the entire school had just been frozen in time while the 7 jesus-chosen mages and the 3 first years that have no buisness being here are just fighting for their lives.

FATHER? WHO THE FUCK IS FATHER? WHY DID THIS TURN INTO FULL METAL ALCHEMIST ALL OF A SUDDEN? religion vs science (physical athleticism) is a theme? I guess??? Pushig it????

Is grindelwald "father" am I misreading this?

Wtf is going on. Mash deserves a nap but like... seriously? Mash is me, he thought it was a dream 😭

No one should wait for the monolouging to end. Just punch them. Mash has the right idea.

My place of learning. Oh no. - the autism is strong with this one.

ARE YOU FUCKIG KIDDING MEE WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENINB? This is a weird and unusual torture and Mash has never looked more like a psychopath.

Okay. That makes more sense. I was about to loose my shit. I love this show but what the fuc.

It's a good thing they taught us early on that if u K.O. someone all their magic attacks dissappear! /sarcasm.

I love that someone else has been traumatised by the creampuffs.

I'm so annoyed I sobered up before this episode. I needed to be drunker for that.

The ginger fuc turned up again! I love hos hid afro moves in the wind but I love moreso the blonde fuck's broom being so extra.

If it's to do with low magical power then why are the very powerful purple students effected?

Grindelwald is Dio now! Oh. Wait no. Grindelwald has Sundail (from epithet erased) Grindelwald looks so young compared to dumbledor as well so u know he's chasing immortality and doing some time shit to have effect skin and long fucking lashes. Such a twink. He is not daddy, he looks like sephiroth- the og hater. (Now I see it I can't unsee it)

Dmbedor is so cool in this, why can't actual dumbedor be the cool??? (Jk I hate jk and we all know why)

Oay Steve Jobs is growing on me. Adam Jobs is just me now w the animal facts; but I'm not a teacher and never would be.

Fucking called it. Why do they always do this? Like I know half ur face might die and decay after this fight but there is so much to live for - like being the only one stopping Mash from being euthanized rn.

Oh my god its biblically accurate gundam

Screw Netero with his Buddha, gimmie Dumbledor and his Uranus.

I wish this fight ficed everything going forward and all the future issues but its not gonna.

"No manner of attack can affect me who can control time" - what does that even mean? And you know that Mash is gonna pop up with no magic or smming later.

I love how just like the source material, dumbledor has his favourite gryffindors.

Whenever Oliver Wood pops up I get a jumpscare but also why was Dumbledor spying on children during their non-achool time? I know this is just random flashbacks but him saying "I was watching" and then giving us this implies he was spying and that's hilarious to me.

Conclusion: dumbledor and grindelwald fucked when they were teens. But not the romantic shit just the toxic two queer kids in a small town type shit.

Okay that was dramatic and all but I need the screen to just zoom out and show Mash kicking his legs to stay in the air.

Okay, okay, recap, now zoom out please. YESSSSSSSS. (Did dumbledor just say Mash was so awesome)

Dumbledor has short eyelashes but I like that one eye of eyelashes are burnt off with the injury from before.

Why is twink grindelwald doing that to his face?

Okay. Go Mash. Beat that twink up! His face cant be ruined any worse than what's currently goig on.

A perfect human. U ain't even human anymore bro.

Is grindelwald doing an orochimaru? Body stealing? Is that where this is going?

"I didn't think he could move that much" - HE IS LITERALLY CONTINOUSLY KICKIG AT AIR TO KEEP HIMSELF AFLOAT - what r u on about????

"We'll finish this another time" - no get back here bitch! Stab him while his back is turned!!!

What is with wizard megalomaniacs and wanting to get rid of education? I mean heck I'm not complaining, he education system leaves a lot to be desired irl let alone in this fucked up world.

Flop.

"We won't make it in time" - I wonder who will (I don't wonder. I have never had to. But I still feel the hype whenever Mash enters)

He's just built different.

I mean I wouldn't call it "playing" but sure. Also the students are so fucking ungrateful to even even be questioning Mash's acceptance. He has literally just saves ur lives, why do you even have to ponder this?

Blood don't splash like that.

Gaaraa moves afain! - I love to see Sand Tomb being reused in great anime.

They enjoy some down time dont get me wrong, but I'm getting some whiplash at the tone change all of a sudden.

One failed exam and your immediately expelled??? That's so harsh. I sympathise hard w Mash rn, the education system sucks and exams are even worse 😭

Mash isn't rebellious in the slightest! "It seems like you can put effort in when you need too" stfu, this is ableist, he isn't lazy!!!

Omg it's Oliver Wood again. I forgor he existed.

Lackmagic? Blightblood? That's worse than Muggle - which come from the word "Mug" which is a gullibal person (derogatory)

One pretty girl cab instantly quiet a horde apparently. Wow. Well it is anime.

"Catching someone who can't use magic is child's play" - famous last words from a cocky dipshit

Why is his chin like that tho? Why are his lips like a cat's?

I just want to grab Mash and explain how much better a person he is than the vast majority of the ppl in this world. It's kinda like Iruma-kun where the MC is in a world where he is so kind that everyone is just confused as to why.

[deadsprout]

Just in case anyone was wondering if the Fireflies would have found a cure: absolutely NOT.

Ignoring the game canon (where they mention that they have tried and failed and murdered dozens of immune kids), and only using text from the show we know for a fact that medicine has NOT advanced since 2003.

To begin with, when Frank is dying of cancer and wants to do euthenasia, Bill says they "might find a cure." Frank jokingly says that there was no cure before the fall, and he doubts there are any new doctors walking around with functional MRIs. This tells us we did not develop any new cures for incural diseases. In 2003 we did NOT have a cure for this fungal infection, and we don't even have one now in our 2023, let alone THEIR 2023.

In Kansas City Karen is holding a doctor hostage in exchange for information about Henry. He tries leveraging the fact that he's a doctor in an attempt to keep himself alive. It doesn't work. Doctors are NOT valued in this world.

Marlene mentions that when crossing the country they lost half their men, while Joel stayed alive the whole time. The Fireflies are barely equiped to travel, let alone distribute a life saving medicine. They are terrorists willing to experiment on children. Even if they found a cure, they would not give it away for free. It would become leverage in a power struggle, and Joel knows this.

That's just what I can think of off the top of my head. The Fireflies would have murdered Ellie and it would have been for nothing.

[cartoon-buffoon]

I'm bored so random ramble about a Wednesday's Infidelity AU thing I made. Introducing: Felix Het, Het Cat!

First off: I commissioned someone I'm mutuals with on discord to draw this for me so shout out to them as they are a way better artist than I (idk if they want me to link their DeviantArt or something, I don't think they give a damn either way tho). They also agreed to do some more art for this AU whenever they have the time.

Second off: This skull face bastard's design and name is based on that Russian bootleg Felix game where clicking "нет" (aka the "no" option) on the continue screen you'd be met with a game over screen showcasing Felix ripping his face off to reveal a bloody skull underneath it and a weird button stitched onto his right eye.

Oh and one final thing I wanna mention before going into Het's lore: his lore is intertwined with some lore I made for the AU involving Euthenasia Rabbit (WI's version of Oswald) with the two having a history together and the main focus of the AU is their dynamic and relationship. The AU title I got going is "Misery Loves Company" and I'm in the process of making a side blog focusing on writing stories for the two. The story and the AU is also a enemies to lovers (rivals to lovers? I'm still not sure) story so that's also a thing to keep in mind. The two don't get along at first... And probably won't for a long while.

Now Het's personality actually originates from a certain fic of mine (not advertising that here) yet I honestly loved his character so much I thought "hay lets do something more with this!". For the most part he's a selfish, sadistic, and cruel faceless cat toon who believes the world has scorned him thus giving him the right to commit senseless acts of cruelty and slaughter under the delsuion of "it's just karma!". He's based off of Felix's classical self which was extremely violent and insane, however in the old cartoons there's always some virtuous traits that Felix shows however Het has none of that virtue. Lore wise he is inspired by the name of the stolen T-shirt design used for the "нет" image which is "Felix The Cat unmasked". The lore I came up with (that may be subject to change) is: he was a toon who was originally named Felix and was rejected and constantly ridiculed all his life for his grotesque appearance, to make up for his creepy face he often wore masks to hide his visage and would be a street performer and made up for what he lacked in looks with talent. Eventually Felix managed to pull the attention of company's with his acting skills and when hired he was commanded to wear a mask that would make him more family friendly and was told to never ever take it off. After some stuff happened he was inevitably fired for a toon who didn't need a mask and thought to be the perfect replacement. With his life spiraling and the only ever type of fame he had stolen away Felix decided to take back what was his by force. After brutally tormenting and torturing his successor (ripping off his face and wearing it) he fled the country, went under a new alias, and become a whole lot more unhinged only to resurface when he ran into his old "friend" Oswald (otherwise known as Euthenasia rabbit).

Uhh I also don't know how to end this ramble so for a final thing I added to the lore of this AU: Het's replacement didn't die from the torture, he was severely maimed however he did live. This replacement is the explanation for the character "Hysteria Cat" who is the background version of Felix from the Leak Ma Balls song. After numerous surgeries his face was fixed yet Het's actions left a lasting impact which explains Hysteria's name (he can't remember his old one) and his blank thousand yard stare (this dude is mentally not there anymore).

[mashithamel]

Lover Unleashed: JR Ward, Black Dagger Brotherhood

“sex as medicine”—This should be the subtitle

There are, like, three stories going on in this one. Given the main story is relatively drama free (as a result of actual communication and honesty most of the time!?!?), there is plenty of room for Jane/Vishous to screw things up and make up a few times, and for Qhuinn to fret about his cousin screwing Blay.

* I know ortho doctors operate on backs all the time, but at my particular hospital only neurosurgery does that, so this still feels weird to me. But generally ortho docs are nicer than neurosurgeons, so I’m not complaining.

* I am really over all the macho posturing from V about his sister. Please, males, stop making a woman’s issue all about you. If you need more hand-holding than the woman on the operating table facing a life-altering injury, you are doing it all wrong.

* I am on board with Blay getting laid on the regular by a nice guy who can appreciate him (although why Saxton is still living there is a mystery to me). Qhuinn can suck it. (Or not, as the case may be)

* The anesthesiologist is going to freak out when he goes to intubate. Dentures they expect—fangs they do not. How exactly is that going to work?

* Apparently fine. 🤷🏼‍♀️

* Look, I can’t endorse a sexual/romantic doctor-patient relationship because it is highly unethical, especially when the patient is in such a vulnerable situation like Payne. That said, in the spirit of suspension of disbelief, I think I’m going to like this one.

* “I know what I married. I know who you are. There’s nothing that’s going to shock me—now hang up the phone and get home.” Have I mentioned before how much I love Jane? She’s got to be my all time favorite—rock solid. V better not screw it up.

* Why are there coffins in the garage??? Have I missed something?

* That shower scene 🥵🔥

* Where’s Marissa? We’ve seen plenty of Butch, but she’s been missing for books. It’s almost dawn and V just saunters naked to their room. Like, I feel like neither Marissa nor Butch would appreciate the show.

* V. You started out your relationship with Jane with wax and a whip. I’m pretty sure she’s not going to be shocked that you want pain. We’re back to the same old morality tale—don’t lie, kids!

* It’s been three years since this started? I need a timeline stat.

* If Manny and Butch have the same father…

* Ok, I was wrong about Jane never messing up. I actually do support physician assisted euthenasia for terminal conditions. Being able to die with dignity on your own terms, when possible, can be better than a dragged out, painful death, and I think people facing the end one way or another ought to have a chance to control it, if they want. But Jane totally screws up here. In so many ways. I’m on V’s side here.

* “I would do anything for you. Anything.” With that, he pushed his way out . . . and as the door eased shut, she realized that I love you could indeed be said without actually uttering the phrase. Actions did mean more than words. —Payne and V. Awwww!

* Omg, Manny is absolutely starting the foundation of their relationship with the total truth. They have paid attention to the moral of the story! Good for them!

* Good god, Jane. Spectacular fuck up. Just…for crying out loud. You treat trauma patients and you didn’t do the basics of prepping a woman for a wheelchair? For a week?

* “That’s the point,” her healer said in her ear. “You can do anything.” ❤️

* That feeding scene 🔥

* Umm, where is Marissa? Cause the bromance with V and Butch just got HOT again and I feel like she should get some say in this.

* Why is Qhuinn suddenly stopping his whoring ways just as he gets to Layla? Will no one take pity on this poor girl?? But I’ve got to say I’m proud of Qhuinn: “God, check his shit out. From slut to camp counselor in a week.”

* Oh, hip reductions are so horrifically painful to watch (the patient is usually out…)

* “And that was when he knew that he still loved her.” V, never, ever forget this again. Jane is amazing (stupid assisted dying decison aside).

* Oh, hey! It’s Marissa making an appearance! And she gets some lines!

* Does anyone else see the Pit as a frat house? Like, I really hope Marissa and Jane do something to class up the joint. I’m seeing beer bottles and pizza boxes, sheets over the windows, bare walls, and beds that are just mattresses on the floor.

* I would be pissed if I stitched a guy back together and the next day he went and voluntarily tore himself to pieces again. I’m just saying, maybe don’t get Manny to do the repair work.

* Is there only one nice condo building in Caldwell? Rehvenge, V, Manny. Anyone else live there?

* I like that V can’t smoke around the dog.

* I’m just going to sit here and think about Blay/Saxton for a minute, please don’t mind me.

* Aww, even the horsey gets a happy ending!

Bottom line: sometimes a forbidden doctor-patient relationship just works out. Jane remains awesome (ignore anything I might have said to the contrary above).

Rating: four out of five unnecessarily painful rituals

[theunpleasantjournal]

I dread the day that someone says to me "you have so much to live for." Because I really don't.

I feel as if this world was not designed for people like me.

Money seems like such a nebulous and pointless concept to me. I understand it logically - a universal bartering currency. But I don't care for it. I am not motivated by it. People seem obsessed with it, to my eyes. It must be important to them, the way it makes some people commit unspeakable acts against their fellow human. Some consider it a lifeline. To most it's little more than a necessity, a lifeline, something that you are forced to earn to give away to someone far richer.

What pitiful manner of existence is living paycheque to paycheque, spending the majority of your waking moments slaving away to further someone else's means to earn enough of a keep to pay for the privilege of continuing to exist? To live another day to do the same mediocre work and have barely a moment to even remember what you wanted to live for.

Aspirations and dreams are foreign to me too. Some people live to work - nothing fulfills them more than climbing the corporate ladder. Some seek a specific job, a specific paycheque, specific qualifications... But I can't muster the energy to care. I don't want to work. I don't want to work just to continue living this miserable unfulfilling existence. I don't want to give my heart and soul to serve a company whose owner doesn't even know my name.

Some people live for experiences, hobbies or stories. But to me, those are things just to occupy my time. They don't grant me enough enjoyment to inspire willingness to put up with the rest of the shit life brings. The joy I feel from finishing a game or a book is fleeting and the memories fade all too swiftly. Not to mention all the time that goes into finding these stories, earning the money, the right to engage with them, and sorting through all the creations barely worth the paper they're written on.

Then some live for others. Friends and family. But I see no reason to cast my lot with those, either... I get on with so few people, and those I do 'befriend' in some manner of the word grow sick of me swiftly and move on, leaving gaping wounds in their wake. Interpersonal relationships seem to hurt me more than they help me. I feel as if I spend so much time trying to fit in, trying to be a person worthy of others' time, trying to mend burned bridges and failing that.. all of my issues seem to stem from other people. If I could be content with being alone, I think I'd be much happier.

I feel as if I have nothing to live for. Nothing to hope for. The future will simply be more of the same and likely worse. Some look forward to weddings, but I don't care for large gatherings. Some look forward to having children, but children are nothing but loud, disorganised and overstimulating to me. Some look forward to holidays, but... days off to me are just days spent dreading the days on.

I hate to parrot edgy rhetoric, but the way I see it, I didn't consent to being brought into this world. I do not belong here. This world is too busy, too regimented, too... everything. And I am too broken.

It feels like anyone who tries to convince me that life is worth living is simply trying to make me suffer. Misery loves company, and they have chosen mine because I am so, so miserable.

I wish euthenasia were legal. Because I have so much pent up shame about the act of actively ending my life that prohibits me from considering it too deeply, but I know I do not want to live in a world where I do not belong, where I do not have anything to stive for.

"Just living is enough! Just making it through another day is enough!" Why? Just so the greedy capitalist overlords can milk more money from my weary soul?

Telling me to find happiness in living feels like the creulest thing you could possibly say.

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

Call me Amity

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/mhsb1oQ

by Raven201

Jasmine Fenton continues her hunt for former GIW agents in Gotham. While in the city, she attends a charity gala to have a conversation with Bruce Wayne.

Words: 2878, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 6 of Call me Amity

Fandoms: Danny Phantom, DCU

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Gen

Characters: Jazz Fenton, Bruce Wayne

Additional Tags: Crossover, jazz goes by amity now, tim drake and cassandra cain are present but not central, mentioned euthenasia

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/mhsb1oQ

[raygender]

Hot take but the "uwu precious angel pupper who can do no wrong" idea of dogs that I've seen on the internet lately is dangerous. It's why you have people insisting that dangerous dogs can't be put down because "they'll get better if you just love them enough". I've seen what those dogs can do and I've seen people bend over backwards to blame the people that get mauled or killed. Semi-related, cops also use this ideology to justify use of K-9 units to attack people because juries will and have immediately sided with the dog in cases of police brutality because "it's a puppy".

[is-the-primate-vid-cute]

PETA doesn't care about animals, they just care about publicity. They even said so themselves recently that they don't "respect animals' right to live" when questioned about their high euthanasia rate, considering putting down perfectly healthy and adoptable animals as mercy killing. As far as they are concerned animals are better off dead rather than being in captivity at all even if the animal is domesticated and wouldn't survive without human care.

Honestly I could go on for hours but I don't want to tie you up.

sigh, yeah. PETA is much more concerned with animals rights than animal welfare

[sumi-sprite]

RIP Macchi - FIP Awareness

Yesterday around 4pm, I had to say goodbye to Macchiato "Macchi", my newest cat. She was barely a year old.

Over the past two weeks or so, she had been rapidly losing weight, but sported a potbelly. She was withrdrawn and exhausted, hid in my closet and slept all day, and was very warm to the touch. She only ate and drank periodically. I finally mangaed to get her in the same day I called. I initially thought - hoped - it was perhaps worms or a parasite since she was eating but not gaining weight. I hoped it was something treatable. I was even hoping it would be a tumor. Anything would have been better than FIP. The night prior, I had tried to look up her symptoms, and I ran across FIP numerous times.

No, can't be that, that happens to OTHER people. The odds are so low. It CAN'T be FIP. Famous last words.

The vet was very worried because all of her symptoms lined up. She had a fever of 105 F (normal temps for cats is roughly between 100 and 102 F). The vet said she was extremely sure it's FIP, and offered to run a blood test and test the fluid building up in Macchi's abdomen. There is no direct FIP test, but getting an idea of her hemoglobin levels would give us - give me - a slightly more solid confirmation. My nightmare was confirmed after it was shown that the hemoglobin in her blood were identical to that of the fluid in her abdomen, which is NOT normal.

"FIP is a serious disease caused by a feline coronavirus variant, though not the one that causes COVID-19. The virus will spread through a cat's body causing systemic inflammation. Up to 95% of cats diagnosed with FIP die without treatment."

It is caused by a mutation of the Coronovirus in cats, and generally afflicts kittens or young cats between three weeks to two years of age. Macchi may have been carrying the mutated variety for any length of time, possibly since we adopted her. It's thankfully not contagious after its mutation, so our other cat, Jade, is not at risk. It generally spreads through fecal contact, which, in a multi-cat home is nearly impossible to avoid if the cats share litterboxes.

There is no cure and no treatment.

The vet was tentative in explaining that there is an experimental drug in Europe that has shown incredible results. But here's the catch: It's not legal, it's not approved for commercial use, it's not available in the US, and tests plus administration would cost more than my university semester tuition. There have been people smuggling the drug to the US, and many cats have recovered beautifully - but only when FIP was caught in time.

I could never afford the treatment, and Macchi clearly did not have long to live. She would not make it to treatment after waiting so many weeks to get the drug to her. And besides that, the vet and I both agreed she was too far gone for it to help either way.

I took too long to get her help. I thought she was stressed from our move and being in a less than ideal living space. But even if I got her in sooner, I wouldn't have been able to even afford getting her help.

Wanna know what the odds are of a cat contracting FIP are? According to VCA: 

"The incidence of feline infectious peritonitis (FIP) disease is low (only 5 to 10% of infected cats and less than 1% of cats admitted to veterinary hospitals)." 

Yep. Roughly 5-10% of cats who caught Corona will experience the mutation, and less than 1% - 1 fucking percent - get to a pet hospital. Most cats develop the immunity to fight FIP and can go on perfectly healthy. Not Macchi though. Macchi was part of that 1%. One. Fucking. Percent.

This disease has NO treatment, NO cure, and it is VERY hard to diagnose. It is almost always 100% fatal in cases where a cat isn't able to fight off the mutated strain. It progresses rapidly and often without warning. Some cats may not display any symptoms for weeks, and then it all comes down full force all at once. My cat was perfectly fine up until two weeks ago, then she lost almost half her body weight, her muscles attrofied, and she lost the strength to fight it off. Her tests showed she was in the beginnings of multi organ failure. Less than two weeks, and she didn't have a snowballs chance in hell.

Please, PLEASE. For the love of god, keep an eye on your young cats and kittens - even your adult and senior cats. If any of them display symptoms, GET THEM TO A VET. There is a "dry" and "wet" variety to FIP. Macchi had the "wet" variety - where her intestines (primarily the stomach, large and small intenstines, etc) were shedding massive amounts of fluid. It can occure in the respiratory systems too. The "dry" variety presents as horrible multi or singular organ inflamation, with common locations being the liver, eyes, and even the brain.

Read up more information HERE

You're probably thinking that this can't happen to your cat. Like I said, Macchi just sadly fell into that 1% fatality. I thought that same thing, and yet here I am. Barely a year after losing my oldest cat, Max, and I had to say goodbye to another cat when she was barely a year old. Everything was fine, she was healthy and her usual, hamburger-faced self. Two weeks changed that. I had only a few minutes to come to terms with the fact that she was suffering, there was nothing I could do, and the most humane thing I could do was let her go. It takes roughly thirty seconds for euthenasia to stop a cat's heart.

Two weeks, a few minutes, thirty seconds. That's all she got.

I miss her, and I hope if just ONE person reads this, and it motivates them in someway to be more watchful of their cat; if I can make just one person aware, then I won't consider her loss meaningless. Maybe it's out of guilt. I don't know and I don't care, I just need people to know how serious this is and how quickly it can take a cat's life.

Please be safe, and keep your cats safe. Again, read up on FIP HERE

I love you and miss you, Macchi.

[theramseyloft]

Escher’s final update

Escher was put to sleep at south Pointe Animal Hospital this past Friday.

Because of their small size, the hospital has had to employ a curb side only service model, so I was expecting to have to hand my little girl out the car window and wait for her sad little body to be brought back to me, so that I could perform her necropsy at home.

when I opened the window, instead of reaching to take her from me, Dr. Mayer simply stood at the prescribed 6 foot distance and asked “I assume you’d like to be with her?”

When I asked if it was ok for us to, she solemnly informed me that the surgical suite was being prepped for us, and we could bring her once we were ready.

Highland would have put her to sleep for free, but I so firmly prefer the way South Pointe handles euthanasia that I am happy to financially support them.

On the surgical table sat the little 5 gallon glass tank with a fluffy towel folded at the bottom.

It’s fitted with a glass plane for a lid that has two holes in it for the anesthetic tubes.

Escher was nestled onto the towel and covered with a fleece baby blanket to keep her relaxed and comfortable while she drifted off to sleep.

Dr. Mayer and her staff took the time to make sure she was soundly asleep before lifting her out, and covered her head with a mask made for small animals both to remove the risk of a return to consciousness and to allow us to hold her.

The entire process took nearly an hour.

All to make absolutely certain that she would never feel the needle, or any other pain, in her last moments.

I cannot express the comfort that their compassion brought me in those terrible moments that twisted my gut with doubt.

The night before this, her jaw had started to lock and any attempt to take a step threw her into a 15-40 second fit of disoriented flailing.

Her pain was so obvious that I lamented having brought her home instead of ending her suffering at the end of her appointment.

But that morning, as she sat still, she looked so much like any curious little bird that I was in agony wondering if I was acting too early.

If I was about to just kill her just for having balance issues...

I agonized over whether or not I had made the right decision until I actually sat down to perform the necropsy.

I’ll spare you all the literally gory details.

Cancer was confirmed.

Peritoneal cancer is insanely rare.

The Peritoneum consists of the lining of the abdominal wall and the web of connective tissue suspending the abdominal organs.

Along with physically holding up the abdominal organs, it produces the fluid that supports them and allows for comfortable movement with in the abdominal cavity.

Escher’s Peritoneum was so obscenely thickened that its overgrowth was both engulfing and constricting her organs.

The overproduction of fluid filled her abdominal cavity like a water balloon, putting so much pressure on her chest cavity that her heart and liver were being deprived of oxygen.

This is why I perform necropsies on every bird that dies or needs to be put to sleep.

If the condition turns out to have been treatable, and the decision to euthanize was the wrong one, I will recognize those symptoms if I see them again, and know at least one treatment to try that might save that individual.

And in a situation like Escher’s, it’s confirmed beyond any shadow of doubt that what I did was free her from terrible pain and ease what would have been an inevitable, hideous death into drifting off to sleep and just not waking back up.

Peritoneal cancer is unspeakably rare.

I could only find human specific studies on it and like two on rodents.

From what we could find, it’s largely genetic, and effects individuals with ovaries the vast majority of the time.

Symptoms are nearly identical to ovarian cancer, and the survival rate in humans is 47%, with intensive chemotherapy, IF it’s caught early enough.

When it shows up in the even more infinitesimally rare cases involving those born with out ovaries, it spreads there from some place else.

It doesn’t start there.

Since both Ferdi and Astrid have had fatal health issues crop up in the hens of their lines, and this type of cancer has such a strong genetic component, we will be reshuffling the retirement priorities a bit.

Birds with both Ferdi and Astrid’s blood in them will be most strongly favored for retirement.

Followed by those with high percentages of Astrid’s blood

Then those with high percentages of Ferdi’s.

We are already making arrangements for new blood to add to our program in their place.

And we have let clients with related birds know what we found as soon as we found it, and how it could potentially effect their birds or their progeny.

I still want Old German Owls and Old Dutch Capuchine blood incorporated into the Ami project.

I’ve found unrelated Old German Owls, and am on the waiting list for offspring.

Now I just need to find an unrelated fit line of ODC.

It’s been a hellish, agonizingly painful week...

Hopefully, tomorrow will bring some much needed rest.

[peacewise08]

Euthenasia

AeroPlane Jelly. Sung by Winston Churchill holding a cigar and two fingers held up for peaceful Victory circa ww2, whilst riding a bicycle backwards into the wind.

Sing, smile, dance and romance - rofl/smirk. So let us this time do a wonderful thing that feels quite brilliant and one that heaps and heaps of people experience again and again. Feeding an infant with that small plastic spoon that’s nice and colourful and sometimes flies like an aeroplane into the open hangermouth. We’ve all done that, well most of us have, well some of us cannot do the following. Some can’t notice where the babies eyes are going, some don’t notice that their monotone voice elicits inattention from some babies eyes, some don’t recognise that waving that spoon around draws attention… and that’s all just fine, we can work with that – if we spot it ourselves. Some parents are so attuned to their children they seem to be able to read their mind, intentions and actions from a distance, perhaps even from a friend retelling a tale. Yeh that sounds like Childname, s/he does that all the time. So we ramp that amazing parent child relationship sense, we ramp it right on up, as best I can...Your holding the child in your arms gently rocking the child who weighs ___ kg. Child is wrapped in ___ colour because it felt right to me. I know child can hear my heart beating, s/he has settled, oops, yep there’s a little gas, yep I can smell that one, that baby food always makes s/he smell like that. Child is maybe thirty minutes from needing a nappy change. It’s 0835 and Child is hungry but eyes are on Dads tv until I wave the spoon closer to Childs eyes, yes that fluke worked, I’ll keep doing that. Spoon after spoon, show me you want it, awe sister so pretty, open mouth about nipple sized open, chin protruding a touch, eyes on spoon, aeroplane into the hanger. Ok, I can do this, I can help keep this Child alive. So that connection for some people is heart felt and instinctive and for others it is tiring and rational and yet others, neonatal depressive, and worse or something else maybe better! So here I am saying my deepest values, and along the way being a bit whimsical too of course, and what’s that deepest value that comes through – I’m playing with Us. Honestly that’s all, I’m just playing with you all right now in ours heads. David, don’t tell them that, that’s a bad move. Dng dng, I’m thankful you mention keeping things quiet about u know. Goliath, QUIET ABOUT WHAT? Buffy, woof. Wang replies, wtf?

Martha pipes in, is he at it again Jose? Yep, off with the faeries, chatting to himself again, really should abide by anonymity if s/he’s going to waffle on about that. Ok ok, Everyone let’s be fully insincere. Right from the heart – this is Elizabeth Wang reporting from inside Zaphod Beeblebronx’s mind… edit – please correct ZB’s surname he is the President of the Galaxy you know! Douglas Adams signing off to Pink Floyd’s echoes, echoes, echo… Well echo was my first dog that dad didn’t have gently put to sleep whilst mum and I watched Godzilla after smelling popcorn on the way into the cinema somewhere on planet Earth. I remember the movie, all massive on the screen. I vaguely recall we in the middle and sitting there and hearing all the roars of Godzilla and its foes and thinking Cindy and Muffy are going to be dead, that was the deal. I got to pick and watch a movie, any movie I wanted if Dad could take our dogs to the vet, because… my parents had locked the two beautiful dogs in the small cold hard tiled laundry of Dad’s newly purchased and built house. For too long and the dogs had done too much damage to the door, the walls, the other door, and the laundry sink… just trying to MOVE, if only just a little bit more. Sometime during Godzilla I stood up and told Mum I didn’t want to watch the movie any more and could we please phone to save the dogs. We walked outside to the counter and Mum talked the attendant into phoning someone who told us the deed was already done. Love Cindy and Muffy who I harmed as a small child by making a choice to watch Godzilla… Many Many years later Dad apologised to me for that. I am so very sorry I didn’t know then what I know now, because I would’ve gently placed my foot betwixt Dads' legs when I was only 4 or 5 years old, if only I’d known what was to come. If I’d known I would've screamed at Mum, MAKE IT STOP, TAKE ME TO CINDY AND MUFFY, DONT LET THEM DO IT! I would’ve used my heart as a canon ball and fired right between Dad’s eyes and showed him that lightly restrained, gently large roomed, survival needs met, connection and peace. Amen.

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

Call me Amity

by Raven201

Jasmine Fenton continues her hunt for former GIW agents in Gotham. While in the city, she attends a charity gala to have a conversation with Bruce Wayne.

Words: 2878, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 6 of Call me Amity

Fandoms: Danny Phantom, DCU

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Gen

Characters: Jazz Fenton, Bruce Wayne

Additional Tags: Crossover, jazz goes by amity now, tim drake and cassandra cain are present but not central, mentioned euthenasia

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/47043487