#etho or tango is the ravager queen lets be real

[shortfeather]

again, I WISH I COULD DRAW WITHOUT MY WRISTS ACTING UP, because Pearl just called herself the Warden Queen and i desperately need to see it outside of my own head

[scp-10000]

Coal Fighting Hermits

(Keep in mind this is all just personas.  Myself and The Hermits aren’t fighting in real life.  Also, my minesona’s a half dragon, half eldritch horror who solves most of her problems by bitting, scratching, and slapping them with her bone tail.)  I’m joining this quick trend started by @shadeswift99.  Let’s go.  Time for a bored and combative lizard to fight some Hermits.

Bdubs: Yeah he’s a feral man like two seconds from snapping, and he has 3 knives and a machete under his shirt.  I’ve made worse decisions.  10/10 Would fight.  5/10 I’m sure it’d be even enough for it to be fun.

Cubfan: You see, I wouldn’t be able to fight him.  I’d lunge at him, and using his Vex Magic, he’d rob me, and teleport far away before I even lay a claw on him; doesn’t even matter if I only have 5 cool bones and 50 shiny rocks, bastard’d steal’um to spite me and bail.  10/10 Would fight to get all my stuff back.  1/10 I’m not getting my stuff back.

DocM: Draconic Eldritch Abomination vs Buff Creeper Cyborg Man with a Rocket Launcher Arm.  That sounds like a dumb action movie, and I live for it.  I’d only fight Doc if someone was recording it, cause even if I lose, it’d be entertaining as all hell.  10/10 Would fight.  1/10 I sure as hell ain’t winning, lets be real.

Etho: Cryptid who likes dropping anvils.  Sounds like a fun fight.  8/10 Would fight if bored.  2/10 Probably would only win if Etho got bored mid fight and just left.

False: The Queen of Hearts, Heads, and Body Parts.  I’d definitely fight her if I wanna die, but knowing my luck, the univers’ll have her spare me as punishment for all my sins.  10/10 Would totally die.  6/10 I’d be disappointed if I live.

Grian: Now, half the fandom’s like “gRiAn HaS sHoRt FeRaL eNeRgY,” which I’ll admit he probably does; problem is I’m 5′7, so that ain’t gonna help him.  Now Grian is also a good ambusher, which probably would help him because I’m shite at finding targets I’ve lost track of.  If I lose track of Grian in this fight, he’d totally be able to ambush me.  6/10 It’s not one I really think’d be fun.  4/10 Eh.

Hypno: No, I will not fight the vibing man.  1/10 Not unless I need this for the main quest or something.  5/10 I’m guessing it’d probably be even.

Impusle: No, I’m not going after the vibing totem man either.  1/10 Dude probably has a hotbar full of totems.  6/10 Again, totems.

Iskall: For some odd reason, I get the feeling if I attack Iskall, it’d eventually turn into him seeing how bad a fighter I truly am, and he’ll end up trying to teach me.  10/10 I’m not passing up an opportunity to be taught.  4/10 Even at my best, I’d still have a lot to learn.

Jevin: Bitting, scratching and tail slapping’d probably split him into an army of smaller, angry Jevins, and I’m not dealing with that. 1/10 No.  1/10 No.

Joe: I wouldn’t fight this man, but I would bring him to Cleo in case she wanted to take his knee caps.  10/10 What if Cleo needs his kneecaps?  10/10 I’mm’a get Cleo those kneecaps.

Keralis: My claws are too curved to just poke him in the eyes.  Besides, it’d probably be more fun to watch him struggle and squirm like he did when Etho tried to kill him.  8/10 Would fight.  5/10  Losing would probably be me getting bored and leaving Papa K alone.

Mumbo: Unlike half the fandom, I don’t see Mumbo as a lanky boy.  He also does Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and I don’t, so that’s gonna be a fight.  Granted, Mumbo’s a giant, non-confrontational dork, so that makes my choice harder.  5/10 Would I even fight him?  5/10 I’d probably stand a chance.

Rendog: Yeah, my brain doesn’t short circuit when I run into horny.  At best it’s acknowledged when I’m not set on murder.  7/10 I might ask him to square up if I’m bored.  5/10 Might be an even fight.

Scar: Same situation as Cub, but not at the same time?  Let me explain.  There’s a chance he’ll cast the same spell as Cub, but there’s also a chance he’ll forget to, and I can get a swipe on him before...well have yall seen that video where a dog attacks a kid on a bike, and then the cat comes out to mess up the dog?  Imagine I’m the dog, Scar’s the kid, and Jellie’s the cat, and you’ll know how well that fight’ll go.  0/10 No.  0/10 No.

Stress: This girl can carry massive pumpkins halfway across the server on one strength potion.  I’d fight her just to see how far she can yeet me.  10/10 For the yeet.  4/10 If she doesn’t yeet me, it might not go well.

Tango: This man builds massive minigames, and wrangles ravagers.  I more feel like I’d get trapped in a moving maze to fight ravagers for like half an hour before he gets bored watching me struggle.  9/10 It’d be a fun way to spend an afternoon.  4/10 Doesn’t mean I’m good at fighting ravagers without full iron armor.

TFC: I respect the man of the earth too much to fight him.  1/10 No.  1/10 No.

Vintage Beef: The blood on his apron does not override his vibing man vibe.  1/10 No.  5/10 If I must, I feel like I’d have a fair shot.

Wels: He’d probaby come up with some sick diss track lyrics on the fly... and then have to teach me how to rap battle after I say “I don’t get it.”  1/10 I don’t think this’d even qualify as a fight.  3/10 I feel like my poetry skills are lacking.

xB: Another vibe man.  No, I shall not fight him.  1/10 No.  5/10 I probably could do decent if I had to.

Xisuma: I’d attack him thinking since he’s a bee, one sting and he’s done, only for him to use his formal Doom Guy Training:tm: to body slam me so hard I’m banned from the server.  10/10 For the meme.  1/10 I’m not avoiding that body slam.

Zedaph: You all are thinking “Funny contraption man can’t fight,” when from what I remember of @lyraeon and I talking about the subject once is in PvP, Zed’ll run at you swinging and screaming.  To me, this is a more fair assessment of Zed’s abilities, and is what I’m going off of when thinking about if I’d fight him.  Thought, I probably won’t attack if he’s working on something.  5/10 Right now, he’s the only vibing man I might actually consider fighting?  5/10 Might be an even fight.

Zombie Cleo: She won’t fight me.  Instead she’ll convince me to let her set up an army of living armor stands to fight.  I would not attack her cause she’d give me more stuff to fight when I’m bored and combative.  1/10 No, I’m not fighting my supplyer.  1/10 If she decided to sick an army of armor stands on me, I’d probably lose.