#ethelfrith

[blocksventure]

Lego Oxventure - Stop! Hammer Time!

The town of Bumble is irreversibly changed after the Oxventures unveil a guild of 60 enchanted skeletons.

Dob summons the skeletons in the crypt

"We...are...Ethelfrith's...chosen."

Prudence takes an instant liking to the skeletons

The Dob Orphanage for Orphans is opened

Problem is, it's a very wet orphanage. And a very red orphanage.

Shortly thereafter, union negotiations get out of hand

The skeletons form up into a giant minotaur-voltron

The Oxventurers prevail however, and the skeletons are returned to the hammer until they are required again.

[katgametable]

OX Guild Season 2: Bone 2 Pick

Written 21 Apr 2025, shortly after relistening, having watched and listened multiple times previously.

The skeletons have tricked the Oxventurers! They must travel to the town of Bumble, summon the spirit of Ethelfrith the Builder, and ask his blessing to renew the blood magic. Dob is concerned they might not be welcome in Bumble. He suggests bringing a gift, maybe honey? And this turns into disguising themselves as a bee-people band, the Beeples, fronted John Honey-and-Lemon and Paul McCartbee. They decide to scout out first, and go back in the hammer. Dob beats Corazon at billiards while the others admire the seal’s nest. 

They are ejected in a field on a hill overlooking a fortress. It appears the townsfolk have fortified against them specifically. So he proposes zip lining into town dressed as the Beeples. Merilwen suggests ninja zip lining using Pass Without Trace. The band can be if the stealth fails. Prudence hates the band, but the others start workshopping song titles. They end up doing both plans. Merilwen sets up the zip line, Egbert disguises himself as a wasp, Corazon and Dob disguise themselves well, and Prudence refuses to have anything to do with the bee business, declaring herself Yoko Oh-no-bees.

They arrange to zip in convoy, which ends up meaning they all hang on to Egbert. Dob and Merilwen fall off, meaning the others have no Pass Without Trace. As the ones still on the zip line accelerate, Corazon cuts the line, casts Feather Fall, and they all land on the grass. Merilwen dashes up and brings them back under the PWT before the townsfolk can get a good look. Dob goes back to advocating posing as a travelling band.

However, as some guards have come out to investigate, they can duck in when the guards come back (it takes some time to decide on that). It works. They sneak through the town to the crypt. As the door needed to be broken and remade to open, Corazon chips a bit of stone off and sticks it back in with pitch, which opens the door.

Once inside, Dob summons the skeletons. The skeletons explain the procedure. They have to return the hammer to its socket, fill a bowl with drink, light candles, then the skeletons will do a ritual chant and dance, then one of them must call forth Ethelfrith, but it must be an orphan. Merilwen’s parents they saw recently, Corazon and Egbert’s parents were alive last they saw them, Prudence has no idea who her parents are, so it’ll have to be Dob. Merilwen Creates Water to fill the bowl and Dob Prestidigitates it to taste of honey, and Merilwen uses Produce Flame to light the candles - Dob and Corazon get rather excited by the prospect of stage effects. The skeletons dance, and the Flame Skull nudges Dob forward, and he yells, “Ethelfrith, I summon ye!”

Notes from Part One pre-show podcast commentary: No Jane, so Andy takes the lead with Mike. They talk about Wishmaster, which always comes up when the skeletons are around. That’s pretty much all they talk about.

Notes from Part One post-show podcast commentary: Andy notes they don’t usually bother with stealth when returning to the scene of previous crimes. Mike loves the Beeples stuff, but Andy is cautious, given Jane and presumably a number of listeners just hate it. Andy expresses a desire to do a Beeples concert some day. They talk about various beverages before announcing upcoming Mario Golf and Orbpocalypse videos.

Ethelfrith’s spirit emerges, a large, bulky figure. Dob introduces them, and he drinks from the bowl. Dob inquires if Ethelfrith has built concert stages before, but it sounds like they have very different ideas of band composition, and then they get down to the business of the blood pact. Ethelfrith suspected something like that might happen, as the skeletons have had masters previously, but he’s happy to renew the pact. But the Oxventurers are suspicious there might be a catch. Prudence attempts Detect Magic; he’s made entirely of magic but does not appear malevolent.

Ethelfrith lays his hands on the hammer and opens a gap to another dimension to charge it. Corazon asks Egbert how he’s coping with the ghost, but Egbert refuses to believe Ethelfrith is a ghost, saying he’s just an apparition. Then Ethelfrith pauses, saying he’s detecting some sort of magic affecting things. They can’t identify what it might be, but Merilwen speculates it might be someone scrying Egbert. Ethelfrith has to continue, even as a portal develops and opens, hungry creatures starting to come through to eat them. It is a pack of half a dozen Maw Demons. They fight.

There’s a variety of usual tactics such as Agonising Blast and Moon Beam, but Egbert pulls out Turn The Faithless, a very rare use of Paladin abilities, and five are frightened, resulting in a stampede for the portal, until some bomb work ends the effect. But the Guild don’t have much trouble killing them. And the charging of the hammer is complete, and the portal closes. 

Ethelfrith is a little disappointed that the roof of the crypt has partially collapsed, but Merilwen gets the skeletons to lift her up while she Stone Shapes it. The skeletons throw her down once she’s done, but Corazon casts Feather Fall to stop her getting injured, annoying the skeletons.

Ethelfrith is pleased with the Guild, but the skeletons not so much. Merilwen asks Ethelfrith why the skeletons do the bad stuff, and he admits that he’s not very good at magic. But at least nothing’s gone wrong this time…or has it?

Ethelfrith is forcibly banished as a new portal opens, and a cluster of Dragonborn the same size and build as Egbert come through with Liliana, who orders them to seize Egbert, and they snatch him before anyone can do anything to stop it. Dob proposed consulting Binbag, much to Corazon’s displeasure. They have no leads.

Notes from Part Two pre-show podcast commentary: Jane is back with Andy and Mike. It sounds like it was a heatwave in the UK when they were recording. They’ve been to the studio again, and that was the first time they were together in person for about fourteen months, because this was recorded in July 2021. Jane bemoans how she couldn’t wear green during home records due to green screens. Mike has been to the Grand Prix. He and Andy were on a different podcast to talk about wrestling.

Notes from Part Two post-show podcast commentary: Mike had to take a little break from Oxventure because he had a newborn baby to look after, and he and Johnny concocted a way to take Egbert out of it for a bit. No one knew how, even Mike wasn’t sure of the details, but they wanted something more interesting than him just wandering off for a while. His use of a Paladin ability was a little present for the Guild before he left. Jane explains that they get nervous when they have to fight several of anything (although to me it looked really easy). They remark on how the Beeples was a throwaway that pervaded everything. Mike says he acquired a copy of Alien: The Role Playing Game from DiceBreaker and he might want to run a game some time (he did, nearly four years later). They talk a little about Hitman and upcoming videos.

Let’s talk Beeples. The Beeples do make at least one return feature that is absolutely brilliant, and the reason I dressed as “Beeplemania” for the live show. But that is not this episode, so I will leave it at, more to follow.

This is one of the few times the Oxventurers are confronted with the consequences of their actions, which I very much enjoyed. And I did enjoy them just smashing the demons, that was a brilliant bit of combat.

Overall, a very satisfying episode, and a brilliant set-up for what comes next.

[anglosaxonpersonalnames]

Oswudu

Oswudu is an Anglo-Saxon masculine name composed of os (god) and wudu (wood).

Variants:

Ôsvudu [Ludwig Ettmüller 1851 Vorda vealhstôd Engla and Seaxna, page 11].

Oswudu [James Raine 1887 A Dictionary of Christian Biography, Literature, Sects and Doctrines 4: 165].

Osgudu [James Raine 1887 A Dictionary of Christian Biography, Literature, Sects and Doctrines 4: 165].

Ósƿudu [Oswin Kinsey 2016 English Compound Names, 2nd edition, page 82].

Prototheme:

Os = god [Elisabeth Okasha 2011 Women’s Names in Old English, page 65].

Deuterotheme:

Wudu = Wood [Joseph Bosworth 1838 A Dictionary of the Anglo-Saxon Language, 1st edition, page 481].

Usage:

“OSWUDU (Osgudu), one of the sons of Ethelfrith, king of Northumbria, who on the death of their father in A.D. 617, took refuge in Scotland to escape from Edwin” [James Raine 1887 A Dictionary of Christian Biography, Literature, Sects and Doctrines 4: 165]: “and adrefde ut þa eðelingas Æðelfriðes suna ꝥ wæs ærest. Eanfrid. Oswald. and Oswiu. Oslac. Oswudu. Oslaf. and Offa” [John Earle 1865 Two of the Saxon Chronicles Parallel, 1st edition, page 34, annal (E) 617]: “And he drove out the athelings, sons of Æthelfrith, that is first Eanfrith, Oswald and Oswy, Oslac, Oswudu, Oslaf and Offa” (Edward Gomme 1909 The Anglo-Saxon Chronicle, page 19, annal 617 [E]).

[silvestromedia]

SAINTS OCTOBER 12

St. Wilfrid. Born in Northumberland in 634, St. Wilfrid was educated at Lindesfarne and then spent some time in Lyons and Rome. Returning to England, he was elected abbot of Ripon in 658 and introduced the Roman rules and practices in opposition to the Celtic ways of northern England. In 664, he was the architect of the definitive victory of the Roman party at the Conference of Whitby. He was appointed Bishop of York and after some difficulty finally took possession of his See in 669. He labored zealously and founded many monasteries of the Benedictine Order, but he was obliged to appeal to Rome in order to prevent the subdivision of his diocese by St. Theodore, Archbishop of Canterbury. While waiting for the case to be decided, he was forced to go into exile, and worked hard and long to evangelize the heathen south Saxons until his recall in 686. In 691, he had to retire again to the midlands until Rome once again vindicated him. In 703, he resigned his post and retired to his monastery at Ripon where he spent his remaining time in prayer and penitential practices, until his death in 709. St. Wilfrid was an outstanding personage of his day, extremely capable and possessed of unbounded courage, remaining firm in his convictions despite running afoul of civil and ecclesiastical authorities. He helped bring the discipline of the English Church into line with that of Rome. He was also a dedicated pastor and a zealous and skilled missionary; his brief time spent in Friesland in 678679 was the starting point for the great English mission to the Germanic peoples of continental Europe.

St. Edwin. In the year 616, King Ethelfrith was slain in battle by Redwald, King of the East Angles. Edwin of Deira became king of the whole kingdom of Northumbria and after the death of Redwald; he had a certain lordship over the other English kings. He married Ethelburga, daughter of St. Ethelbert, King of Kent after promising to allow her to practice her Christian religion. St. Paulinus was sent as chaplain to the Queen and bishop for his converts. When Queen Ethelburga gave birth to a daughter, she was baptized with twelve others on Whitsunday, and called Eanfleda; they were the first fruits of the Northumbrians. Edwin was a man of unusual wisdom and deliberated in his heart to which religion he should follow. Paulinus continued to instruct him and to pray for his conversion. King Edwin was baptized at York at Easter in the year 627, on the site of the present York Minster, in the wooden church of St. Peter which he had caused to be built. This good king had reigned seventeen years when the Welsh Cadwalon marched in arms against him with Penda of Mercia, a pagan. King Edwin met them at Hatfield Chase on October 12, 633, and in the ensuing battle he was slain. St. Edwin was certainly venerated in England as a martyr, but though his claims to sanctity are else doubtful than those of some other royal saints, English and other, he has had no liturgical cultus so far as is known. His relics were held in veneration, churches were dedicated in his honour in London and at Brean in Somerset; and Pope Gregory XIII permitted him to be represented among the English martyrs on the walls of the chapel of the Venerable at Rome.

St. Fiace, 5th century. An Irish bishop sometimes listed as Fiech. A disciple of St. Patrick, he wrote a hymn in St. Patrick's honor.

Bl. Maria Teresa Fasce, Roman Catholic Nun. Maria Terese was also known for her great stamina. As abbess, she directed the construction of a new church for Saint Rita and a girl's orphanage. This project consumed much of her tenure, and in fact, the church was not completed until several months after her death. Feast day is October 12th.

Our Lady of the Pillar

OUR LADY OF APARECIDA The month of October is traditionally dedicated to the Blessed Virgin Mary; it is also the month during which we mark another festivity dedicated to Mary Mother of God: Our Lady of Aparecida, Patroness of Brazil, whose feast day is celebrated on October 12th. https://www.vaticannews.va/en/saints/10/12/our-lady-of-aparecida.html

[christophe76460]

"Ethelfrith était le roi saxon de Northumbrie dans les années 600. Il avait envahi le Pays de Galles et était sur le point de livrer bataille. Les Gallois qu’il s’apprêtait à attaquer étaient chrétiens, et avant que le signal ne soit donné, Ethelfrith les regarda.

Mais il remarqua un groupe d’hommes non armés. Il demanda à quelqu’un qui ils étaient et on lui répondit qu’il s’agissait des moines chrétiens de Bangor. Ceux-ci ne portaient pas d’armes et priaient pour la victoire des Gallois.

Que dit Ethelfrith ? Il a crié : « Attaquez-les d’abord ! »

Le roi saxon était extrêmement inquiet à l’idée que les prières de ces moines puissent réellement fonctionner. En pareil cas, Dieu accorderait aux Gallois la victoire, et à lui la défaite. En d’autres termes, il pensait que les moines qui priaient étaient plus dangereux pour lui que les hommes armés.

Frères et sœurs, malgré ce qu’on en dit, c’est ainsi que les choses se passent en réalité."

Timothy KELLER

[snizx]

One of Liliana’s Egbert clones gains a level of individuality and self-expression that the others don’t possess or understand. Chaos ensues as they strike out on their own, happy to no longer be one of an identical crowd but now struggling as being mistaken as the actual Egbert.

The episodic adventures of Bismuth the transformer, framed as classic light-hearted crime fighting but she is morally grey at best. Her intentions and consequences are always implied but never interrogated. The Binbag/Bismuth romance is frequently alluded to in passing but never explored.

Workplace slice of life comedy following the staff at Hammerdal’s research institute. Groundbreaking developments in the field of necromancy are sandwiched between everyone dunking on Denise.

At least one book taking place around the life and death of Ethelfrith the builder, showing Bumble as a prosperous town and exploring how he gained such devout followers, as well as showing how things went to shit after a pillar of the local community passed away.

Oxventure Novels

Just been re-listening to the Oxventure Campaign (again), and one thing hit me. I wish there was Discworld-esque novellas set in the Realm of G'eth, because I genuinely think it's one of the best fantasy worlds out there.

Got a list of potential ideas:

Bhenbvæg. A series following the misadventures of a young Bhenbvæg (Binbag) as he studies and/or teaches at Lord Potionington’s Academy, only for him to realise he has more druidic ambitions in life. It would end with Binbag becoming the reclusive hermit we all love to hate. 

Strangetide. A series following the beloved scholar, Alfred Strangetide, alongside his two siblings, Russell and Wallace. With each of their archeological and paleontological expeditions ending in disaster; such as:storms, the undead, and intrafamilial academic rivalry. 

Dwarfs. A series following the dwarven cleric, Hengist. With them fighting against the societal expectations of dwarfs, and what it even means to be a dwarf. Simultaneously, this clan is being besieged by goblins and kobolds, and he has to save the day through words instead of violence. 

Paladins are Bastards. A series following the Holy Order of La Dragon D’or, with them trying to maintain order throughout the city of Mistmire, with Captain Shattershield trying to balance his work life, leisure time, and his unsuccessful romantic endeavors. Only for Shattershield to uncover a conspiracy of corruption throughout the once honourable Order.   

The Papier-Mâché Pearl. A series following Katie ‘Pearlhead’ Delacour and her rise to power through the criminal underworld to become the infamous Thief Queen. It shows her brutal exploits through a farcical lens, with her effectively failing upwards. 

If anyone has any other ideas, please reblog and/or comment.

[joyousspiritfealasse]

@tolkienocweek // day seven // the children of eomer and fealasse // ethelfrith

Noble Peace

Ethelfrith numbered fifth among his siblings, in the order of birth, but of all them, he took after his mother the most in his looks and bearing, his elven heritage evident from the first time he drew breath. He grew slowly, even more than his elder sister Dawyn, and was the last of his siblings to reach adulthood. As he grew, it was apparent that he had taken after his Noldorin heritage, more than anything else, for he was skilled in the weaving of tapestries and the sewing crafts he had learnt from his mother, taking to them with a burning zeal not dissimilar to the Noldor of old with their crafts. His pride and confidence were evident to all, but none could deny his skill in the creation and adorning of his muses.

When his mother departed Edoras following the death of his father, she took him, along with his sister Dawyn and Arweniel, princess of Gondor, with her. He dwelt a while in Lothlorien, fading as it was, then Imladris, before choosing to return to Edoras as an older adolescent. Following that, he trailed after his sister, Burnwyn, in her travels, learning the cultures and fashions of peoples across Arda, as surely as she learned their lore.

After the passing of his older sisters, and the withdrawal of Dawyn from mortal society, he settled in Edoras to serve as an advisor to his brother, Trygve. Due to his skill and reputation, many people were drawn to Rohan, in hopes of winning apprenticeships or commissioning garments from Ethelfrith. He followed Trygve after his abdication, and dwelt a while with his siblings, until they decided to sail West.

Though Ethelfrith was of elven-kind, he chose to stay in Middle Earth, for he loved these lands too deeply to forsake them until the Second Music. He grieved deeply at his choice resulting in his sundering with his siblings, but he could not bring himself to regret it. 

Ethelfrith is said to have settled for a while in King Elessar’s court, and his son Eldarion after him, as a liason between Rohan and Gondor, but after that no more is known of him. Many of his creations were passed down through the ages and it is said that some form of magic keeps them as new as the day they were first created.

For the rest of this AU, click here.

[oxventure-text-posts]

[infelixsoror]

Latest Oxventure cross-stitch! It’s far, far bigger than either the flag or the character line-up, and I’ve been stitching away at this for about three months at this point. 

The wording’s taken from the amazing charity single, which became a little bit of a mantra for me in the dark January period.

And, here, have a closeup of the flipping d20, which was incredibly stressful to plan out and then even more stressful to stitch because I was foolish enough to use gold thread. 

(Every time. Every bloody time, I convince myself that using gold metallic thread can’t be as bad as I remember it being. AND THEN IT’S WORSE.)

Close ups of the rest of it below the readmore. 

Do you want to strain your eyes? Stitch white thread on white aida and call it a day! 

Mage hand! Purple swirling magic forces! 

Cthulthu for Prudence, borrowed from an etsy pattern I bought some years back. And fire bombs for Egbert! With baby little flames! (Did I nearly stitch them yellow-orange-red instead of red-orange-yellow? Yes, yes I did.) 

And, flanking the d20, we have the Hammer of Ethelfrith, some dancing skeletons, and a playful tabby cat, for Dob and Merilwen, respectively.  

[anastpaul]

Saint of the Day - 5 August - Saint Oswald of Northumbria (c 604-642) Martyr

Saint of the Day – 5 August – Saint Oswald of Northumbria (c 604-642) Martyr

Saint of the Day – 5 August – Saint Oswald of Northumbria (c 604-642) Martyr and King, apostle of prayer and charity, diplomat – born in c 604 in Northumbria, England and was killed in battle with invading pagan Welsh and Mercian forces on 5 August 642 at Maserfield, Shropshire, England.   Patronage – Zug, Switzerland.

St Oswald was the son of Ethelfrith, king of Northumbria.   When Edwin seized…

[meezer]

ethelfrith's chosen are such cute skeletons

[katgametable]

OX Guild Season 2: Ship Happens

Written 03 Apr 2025, shortly after relistening, having watched and listened multiple times previously.

This was a live show recorded at EGX in 2019.

The Guild are in Barrow Springs, wandering around the docks, while Corazon waxes lyrical about the sea. Then a giant tentacle emerges from the sea and deposits the Joyful Damnation in the harbour. A group of thirty men in monk-like robes and woad on their arms and faces approach Corazon and ask to hire the Joyful Damnation and its crew for a stag do. 100,000 gold pieces for a five-day voyage to Necropolis-on-Sea, with a further 200,000 gold pieces if the entertainment is satisfactory. The itinerary is a magic show, whale-watching, karaoke night, pirate training with a real-life pirate, and dinner with fireworks. The Guild accept the job and take the stag do aboard, as they chant “lads, lads, lads”. Meanwhile, Prudence gets a sense of Cthulhu’s presence and approval with their job.

In order to free themselves up to entertain the stag lads, Dob grabs Ethelfrith’s hammer and summons the 60 cursed skeletons. They work out a deal whereby the skeletons will sail the ship, and kill every seabird they see. Corazon asks for no albatrosses to be hurt, because it’s bad luck, but Dob negotiates up to one dead albatross and one maimed. The skeletons pull the ship out while the Guild open up the rum stash. After getting the lads boozed up, Corazon starts some magic tricks (Dob says Prudence is too scary), but they are unimpressed with his Dancing Lights, Mage Hand and Grease, so Prudence gets to take over and subjects the to staring into the dark between the stars by casting Hunger of Hadar, which they seem very absorbed in even as it causes eye bleeding. Egbert cheers them up by transitioning to Salsa Night, dancing a salsa dance and dispensing salsa dip.

After the lads go to bed, the Guild plan out the week before retiring themselves, but they’re woken up but a strange sort of throat singing. On deck, they see a giant eye floating over the water, looking all around. They decide to go talk to the Lads. When they go to talk to them, the throat singing stops and the eye vanishes. The Lads deny any knowledge. They leave, but Merilwen turns into a cat to eavesdrop. The Lads say they haven’t found anything yet, but the trip is on course to give them a good time.

The following day, Merilwen uses Speak With Animals to summon a lot of whales and dolphins, and Dob invents a drinking game involving telling secrets whenever you see a whale. They find out that the Lads are searching for something that’s at the bottom of the sea, and it’s a religious thing. They also learn the bride is on land, and dresses in red and red and red. Before the Guild can learn much more, the Lads all pass out from an excess of booze. The Guild go through the Lads’ pockets and raid their quarters, finding amulets made of deer antlers wrapped in kelp twine, the gold chest unfortunately empty, and a map covered in the crossed-out paths of around eighty voyages. That night, there is no throat singing and no giant eye.

The following morning, Dob rouses everyone at 6 am for karaoke night. More drinking games are invented, and they learn the Lads are looking for an imprisoned god, before Egbert cracks out Zone of Truth and they find out that the Lads don’t know where the imprisoned god is but have been searching for a long time, but if the lad in question says more he will literally die. It turns out the Lads are keeping the gold on their persons, and they have been paying previous crews very well. In order to continue their search, they need to complete the itinerary, and they all go back to bed.

Day four, Corazon demonstrates some pirate skills, and the Lads start throat dinging. Prudence casts Comprehend Languages and translates their words as “Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough”. At this, a Sahuagin jumps out of the sea and attacks Corazon. Corazon shows off some really good moves, before the Lads send it away again. And back to bed.

The fifth day, Egbert lights all three bombs and dumps them in the ocean. Luckily, they explode the lingering whales and shower everyone in whale chunks, which the Lads happily consume. Then they all pass out.

The next morning they approach Necropolis-on-Sea, and the Lads get very excited. They throw out their arms, and the ship halts. Their chant of “lads, lads, lads” turns into “Ladsenkaldyr”. The sea bubbles, Prudence feels an inspiring tentacle pat her back, and a giant figure emerges from the ocean – a diseased, stag-like creature, and tentacles rise from the ocean to hold it in place.

The Guild fight the god. Corazon fires some cannons, Merilwen casts Moonbeam, and then Dob drives the ship right into Ladsenkaldyr, and it bursts. The Lads are despondent, but are cajoled/intimidated into giving over all the money – to Dob.

Note from the podcast commentary: Jane, Andy and Mike. After ragging on Mike’s clothing, he reveals that he bought Egbert feet for live shows and debuted them this episode, which is why he got up to salsa around the stage. Andy laments that a lot of the episode would be pretty impenetrable to those unfamiliar to British stag dos. Johnny prepared names for every single one of the stag lads, just in case, but no-one ever asked. So Jane reads them out now. Mike has been playing Hitman; Andy has been playing the banjo.

This is quite likely my favourite Oxventure, partly because the chant of “lads, lads, lads”, partly because it just jives with aspects of British culture, and partly because of those skeletons. I kinda glossed over them in the summary, but Johnny has them just chiming in here and there, complaining about Corazon’s skull pyjamas, shoving a maimed albatross in Merilwen’s face to make her squirm, etc. Oh, and the “lads” chanting has indeed become a tradition for us fans to chant before Guild shows/streams; at time of writing, there’s a live show day after tomorrow, we’ve made a thread in the OXSC Discord to talk about what happens in it, and we’ve been chanting “lads” in there for over a day already.

In some ways it seems rather unlikely that a team of Level 5 adventurers could defeat a god, but Cthulhu was intervening, presumably to keep it manageable. Dob’s “burst with ship” plan, openly inspired by Disney’s The Little Mermaid, was brilliant, but also by then they were running out of time in the show, so Johnny was just letting them all deal lots of damage to finish it.

It was a lot of fun.

[katgametable]

OX Guild Season 1: Stop: Hammer Time

Written, shortly after relistening, having watched and listened multiple times previously.

This was a live show at EGX Rezzed 2019.

The Oxventurers have been running from adventure to adventure and really want some rest, but the town they approach looks so dilapidated it seems unlikely. The sign reads, “We co To Bum”, with gaps for missing letters. As they enter, they are approached by a local who asks if they’re tourists, or if they might be able to help. The town of Bumble fell into disrepair some time ago and none of them can fix it, although they have heard that in the great crypt in the centre of town there might be what they need – the tomb of Ethelfrith the Builder. Dob is exciting, wondering if there’s a magic building hammer. They’re not all terribly keen, but Dob wins Corazon over by suggesting that hiding in the crypt they may at least be able to get a good night’s sleep.

The crypt has a stone carved to look like a door in front of the entrance, with the legend, “Only those with the courage to remake may enter”. Egbert smashes the stone with his mace and it fragments, but Dob insists on using the Mend cantrip to rebuild the door, as behind it was another stone anyway. Once done, the door opens, and the crypt is accessible.

Inside, there is a great sarcophagus with an effigy. The effigy is clutching a hammer, except on closer examination, the hammer is slotted into sockets formed from the effigy’s hands. There is a brief argument, but Dob ignores it to take the hammer.

The floor shakes and sixty skeletons rise up from the ground and chant, “We are Ethilfrith’s Chosen.” They explain that they are builders bound to do the will of the wielder of the hammer, until their death. Dob orders them to conga out of the crypt, find tools, and rebuild the town hall. This terrifies the townsfolk, and Corazon goes back inside for a nap. But the town hall looks very nice when it is done. The local man comes over as they inspect it, admires the construction, and asks where the stone came from. Unsure himself, Dob asks the skeletons, and learns they demolished the orphanage in order to get the stone. This is rather upsetting, so they ask the local man if there’s a more acceptable source of stone, learn of a quarry, and send the skeletons quarrying.

Once a good amount of stone has been acquired, Dob orders the skeletons that without harming or disadvantaging anyone, they are to use the stone from the quarry to rebuild the orphanage. This then turns into a flurry of suggestions, such as building the pub first, splitting the duties, appointing a foreman, and eventually the skeletons ask for simpler instructions, so Dob tells them, rebuild the orphanage.

It is a very fine orphanage. It is a very red, very wet orphanage. They ask about the stone – from the quarry – and the mortar. This is one of the most iconic lines in all of Oxventure. “Is orphans, boss.” Yes, the skeletons pulped the orphans to make mortar for the orphanage.

It’s impossible to mend the orphans, not that Dob doesn’t try, and they have to stop the skeletons from going and finding – or creating – new orphans. They figure out that they have to be extremely specific or else the skeletons will use the instructions to hurt people. They also ask about where the skeletons came from; they were Ethilfrith’s work crew, and he was such a good boss that after he died, they did a deal with a warlock. The Oxventurers set the skeletons to rebuilding the town under very strict parameters and close supervision, taking it in turns to sleep so the skeletons are always being watched, although Dob cannot sleep. This montage covers three weeks. During that time, Corazon investigated the crypt more, and found an account by the sarcophagus confirming the skeletons’ origin, but also warning that they are cursed and whoever wields them will need to be very careful.

After the town is rebuilt, the skeletons approach the Oxventurers, and explain that the restrictive work conditions are untenable and they are going to have to kill them now. This sparks about three slightly different proposed forms of battle royale, before eventually settling into a straightforward skeletons vs Oxventurers – inside a burning ring of fire in the middle of town.

At first, the Oxventurers only have to fight the first twenty skeletons, but it doesn’t go terribly well. The other forty are off doing…something, and Luke comments that they better not be forming a Voltron. But the fight just isn’t going well; it seems really difficult to do much damage, and there’s so many it seems near impossible to avoid all the attack. Prudence gets disembowelled again. Then Dob, surmising the hammer is the only thing that can truly harm them, ties it to the end of a rope, casts Heat Metal, and whirls it around in great arcs that smash through the skeletons and turn them to dust.

The other skeletons form into something akin to a giant minotaur, and Johnny pauses to ask Luke if he’d read their notes, because he’d guessed every single twist. The fight with the bone-minotaur goes quickly, with Grease to leave it unsteady and Prudence laying a mighty blow with the hammer. Then the townsfolk arrive to run them out of town, but after a fortuitous roll, Johnny lets Dob keep the hammer.

Podcast commentary: Jane is joined by Ellen and Andy. Ellen thinks this episode has her favourite of Johnny’s voices – Andy prefers one from then-recent Heir Superiority, but they both think Johnny enjoys pirate voices. So they discuss pirate voices for a bit. Andy’s main memory was them having to fight a large number of enemies, and he found it incredibly scary and stressful, because what if they all died? In front of a live audience, including Andy’s parents. Then they do resolutions for their characters. Corazon wouldn’t see the need. Merilwen would be to be more proactive. Prudence would become immortal.

This is many people’s favourite episode, for one reason: “Is orphans, boss.” The skeletons are so, so funny; they are brilliant. Who wouldn’t want an army of 60 cursed skeleton builders? In fact, they even made a t-shirt for the 60 Skeleton Construction Company. I’m so happy Johnny left Dob keep the hammer, and that Luke was smart enough to not have Dob reach for the skeletons so much they became overused.

I don’t really have much more to say than that I love those skellies.

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Can you lick the science? Part 2

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