#ethan accidentally parenting his brother is so fucking funny

[taughtdefense]

send 💅 [nails] to paint my muse(s) nails. he's doing a shitty job :///

you quietly watch august as he carefully dips the brush into the nail polish bottle, his movements slow, deliberate—& completely ineffective. the first stroke starts out okay, but then the polish veers off course, a thick streak spilling over onto your skin. the result is even worse: uneven layers, smudges everywhere, polish pooling awkwardly at the edges of your nail.

it’s hard not to smile.

you've always appreciated his effort, but right now, his focus is endearing in a way that makes it impossible for you to feel annoyed. you know he’s trying his best, but it’s clear that precision isn’t his strong suit when it comes to nail polish. still, you don’t say anything—no teasing comment, no frustration, just patience. becoming a dad in various other lifetimes has done wonders for your patience. not to mention, this one.

you think about harper, how she’d probably shake her head at this point, maybe even take over with her tiny, confident hands perfectly done up, not a single glob or streak in sight on her nails. she’s only five, but the kid is a natural. it’s funny how someone so young can be so assured, while august, despite all his efforts, looks like he’s battling a puzzle he can’t quite solve. watching him struggle like this reminds you of her, & a small part of you wonders if maybe he could use a lesson or two from your five-year-old daughter.

as august messes up another stroke, the thought of harper showing him how it’s done almost makes you laugh. the image of her taking charge—probably with the same no-nonsense attitude she gets from tory—pops into your head, & you have to fight the urge to chuckle. you picture her, probably rolling her eyes in an overdramatic way that reminds you of yourself before snatching the brush from him, muttering something under her breath about “amateurs.” she’s all business when it comes to things like this.

but you stay quiet, letting august work through it, because your brother-figure is genuinely trying his best, & that’s what matters. his frustration is palpable, & you can feel the tension building in his shoulders, see the slight shake in his hands as he wipes off another botched attempt. you could step in, maybe even offer to finish it yourself, but you don’t. instead, you let him keep going, figuring that he’ll appreciate the space to figure it out on his own. you catch yourself halfway to raising your hand to stop him, but you let it drop—this is too entertaining to interrupt.

besides, you’ve always been patient, especially with the people you care about. august has always been there for you, even in moments when things felt impossible, when you would get stuck inside of your own head, caged yourself inside of your own apartment, & his stubbornness now, refusing to back down from something as small as a bottle of nail polish, is the same stubbornness that’s seen you through rough patches, that’s anchored you when the world seemed too much. so a few messy nails aren’t going to bother you. if anything, you find the whole thing kind of funny—& kind of sweet. the way he’s determined to get it right, even though it’s clearly not working, shows just how much he cares. it’s enough to make the smudges & streaks worth it.

you watch august fumble with the brush again, a thick glob of polish dripping dangerously close to your cuticle. you bite back a grin, eyes nearly flashing yellow in amusement, amused by the whole ordeal. there’s only so much you can take before the ridiculousness of the situation wins out.

"you know," you finally say to @familyabsconded, your tone light & playful, "if this doesn’t work out, i could always ask harper to back you up. she’s kind of a pro at this."

you can't help but smile wider, the thought of your five-year-old stepping in to show him how it's done making the moment even better.

[ask-missparker]

3 Times The Kids Learned A New Word / Marvel Blurb 🙊

in other words: The kids say the weirdness things...oops

parents/uncles/aunties: Cole x Jeremy, Liane x Ethan, Mia x Nikolai

extra aunt & uncle: Melissa and Rei

for context: Astrid, Bella & Joshua are 7-8 years old.

-

1-

Liane was sewing at dress, in the living room when she accidentally stabbed herself with the needle. Without a second to think about the words coming out of month, she said it.

"Fuck.." She said under her breath, however it was loud in clear as she winced at the stinging sensation on her finger.

Suddenly the same words were echoed back to her.

"Fuck.."

She swirled her face towards the voice only to be met with one of her nephews, Joshua, holding a Transformer action figure and his curls in slight mess. Her eyes widen as he repeated the word twice, she didn't expect to even see him there.

Oh no, this isn't good.

Mia is gonna kill me... she thought.

It took her a moment to collect herself and not think at how cute, and honestly freaking funny the words sounded out of the boy's mouth, before speaking up.

"Uh, Josh, sweetie, honey, my little penguin..we don't say that word. That's um a bad word." She said gently with a smile.

Joshua furrowed his eyebrows, "But you said it..?"

"Y-ye-yeah well, auntie Lia can say cause she's an adult. And you're still a kid, just please don't say that word again. Okay?"

"But 'fuck' sounds like 'funky'? It does not sound like a adult word."

"Touché, it doesn't. But they aren't the same word, sweetie. Those are words adults can say when they get...uh, hurt! Y-yeah, hurt or mad, even annoyed or uh..what's another one? Ah! Frustrated."

"...oh. I guess, I get it..?"

"Good! Uh, great, sweetie! How about we get some granola bars?"

That made the kid smiled and nodded following her auntie to the kitchen. Liane gave herself a mental pat on the back for that one, hoping he'll forget about that word by dinner time.

However it didn't last long, because he heard the word repeated again by Rei that same day. So when Mia got home with Melissa from a meeting, Joshua came up to them excited to tell them about a new word he learned today.

Because Melissa always said learning new words can expand one's vocabulary.

But once the word left Joshua's mouth Melissa's eyes widen and gasped. Mia blinked in surprise, she wasn't expecting the words to escape his young brain.

But a small part of her, didn't know to find out who told him or smile gently as she explained to her son about the word. Then there was the other part of her who wanted to chuckled slightly, after seeing Melissa's reaction.

"Where did you learn that?!" Melissa exclaimed in shock, looking like she's questions her life choices.

Joshua shrugged smiling, "Aunt Lia and Uncle Rei..they didn't explain what the word means.."

Melissa had no words. She just scooped the boy up and walked towards Liane's room demanding an explanation. Meanwhile Mia just stood there as she shook her head, with her hands on her hips.

That's when she heard Nikolai's voice from the kitchen, "Did my sweet boy just curse?! Who decided rotten his brain?!"

Mia yelled in the direction of the kitchen, "Oh, now you say something?!"

-----

2-

Astrid was writing peacefully in the kitchen when she heard her uncle Ethan and papa, Cole, arguing about dinner plans.

"Oh that's child's play Ethan!"

"Says the one who doesn't cook!"

"No one is gonna eat chicken fingers and brown rice expect the children!"

"I think it would be a nice idea, until we can go grocery shopping tomorrow. Even if it's consider, children food."

"Then you're a child."

"Excuse me?!"

"You heard me."

Eventually the conversation became full of brotherly mess and insults just thrown around. Along with some swear words, in German.

"Hurensohn!"

"That doesn't work we don't have the same mother, arschloch."

"Yes, it does, stupid! Gods, how did I end up with you as a brother?"

"You should ask dad for that one..."

Cole followed his brother into the kitchen spotting his daughter as his expression soften and kissed for forehead. Ethan smiled at his niece as he started to clean up the table.

"Hello, darling. What you writing there?" Cole asked smiling.

Astrid looked up returning the smile, "Just a poem..what does arschloch and hurensohn..mean?"

Ethan stopped in his tracks and chuckled awkwardly, "Uh, well, sweetheart, they are words in German..swear words and well they mean..how do I put this lightly?"

Cole smirked and looked at Astrid as he said, "Hmm, hurensohn is basically saying 'son of whore'. Arschloch is the english equivalent for 'a*shole' in German."

Astrid nods in understanding, yet still a bit confused, as she calmly replied, "Oh..okay."

Meanwhile Ethan didn't look as pleased.

"Cole!" He exclaimed with widen eyes.

Cole looked at him innocently, "What? She hasn't to learn eventually..beside, he hangs out with dad."

"I-ugh! That's not the point."

"Jeremy is gonna kill you."

"Pff, oh please. What he doesn't know, won't kill him."

Ethan pinched the bridge of his nows having enough of this and then went to go get dinner ready. Cole shrugged sitting next to his daughter and grinned brightly

Just as Ethan was washing the pots and pans, he remember something. He returned to Astrid, "Uh sweetheart. Please don't say any of those words, in English or German, got it?"

Astrid quickly nodded not wanting to get in trouble. She then asked, just to make sure, "So no words like son of whore or a*shole?"

However just as she said the words, Jeremy walked in. The poor man blinked in utter disbelief, hearing his little princess saying those words. He didn't think he will have to hear those words said until she was at least 12 years old.

He turned to Cole with a stern look, that was mixture of shock and utter confusion.

"What did she just say?" Jeremy asked pointing his finger at the direction of their daughter.

Cole gulped and grinned sheepishly then exchanging a look with Ethan, who just returned back to washing the pans, then back to Astrid who bit her inner cheek.

"I uh, well...it's just some words to add to her vocabulary!" Cole replied trying to defend himself proudly, "...did I tell you how hot you look today? Cause you do, darling!"

Jeremy just crossed his arms and glared in his direction.

He was in trouble.

---

3-

This last one, Mia didn't expect for anyone of the children to appear out of nowhere. Because last time she check, all of them were on the other side of The Tower doing god knows what.

So she believed that she was safe.

She was wrong.

Mia was organizing the living room, due to the mess that happened earlier that day between the guys of the house, as she decided to put on her playlist of songs consisted of Eminem, Rihanna, Beyoncé and a few other.

She was singing Love The Way You Lie first and then We Own it..

"I never feared death or dyin', I only fear never tryin'...I am whatever I am..Only God can judge me now." Mia sang to herself as the song ran into her eardrums.

She was feeling herself, dancing as she picking up books and legos off the floor. Can you blame her? She was listening to 7/11 and singing as she did. She was even Cee-Lo Green's Forget You.

However then things got a little tough...

"Ballin' bigger than LeBron...Bitch, give me your money.." Mia sang to herself as the song ran into her eardrums.

"I thought that the word 'bitch' was a bad word?" Said a small voice that appear out of nowhere. "...at least according to dad."

Suddenly she looked up from the coffee table, after picking up a scrap of paper balls, seeing two feet in black sneakers. Followed by a navy blue leggings and a stripped sweater, with a black t-shirt underneath.

It was none other than Bella.

Mia shoulders dropped and sighed not expecting her nearby. She gave her niece a soft smile.

"Bella, baby, w-what..how are have you been standing there?" She asked gently.

Bella shrugged with a light smug smile, "Long enough."

"Mhm, 'long enough'..what exactly from the from the song did you hear?"

"Just the word 'bitch'..? Why?"

"It's just, that word shouldn't have been said in the first place. It was my bad, I shouldn't have been listening to the song."

"But it's just a song? That does not sound too bad.."

"But the lyrics are, baby. Here's the deal, how about we forget about that song and do a different one?"

After a moment Bella slowly nodded and then crossed her arms thinking of something.

"What does that word mean?" She asked, helping her pick up the legos. "Mommy and dad did not tell me.."

Mia paused thinking about it, "Well it's a rather offensive thing, basically another phrases for a female dog."

"Uh, that doesn't make sense. I need another explanation, please..."

The older brunette hummed thinking about it, trying to remember how her mother told her once and then nods.

"Okay, I got it." Mia started softly, "In a simpler, way it's a slang word, that is used to call a woman or girl who is being unreasonable, controlling and or aggressive."

Bella nodded understanding that a lot more now. She replied, "Now that makes sense."

"But society has that as bad slang word because it's very harsh and just mean in general. Some people use the word to phrase something that's going on."

"..oh? Like 'this house is bitchin'?"

"I-yes. And please, baby, don't use that word again until your older."

Bella had a small look on consideration, before nodding with a soft smile. She knew what her aunt meant and resumed to helping her out. Mia returned the soft smile in slight relief.

Out of the 3 kiddos, Bella was the leader of the group. Even if she a little insane at time, she knew when to stop and when to keep the conversation rolling...more or less.

--

----

Ahhh! I hope you like it~

Oh keep the chain going with POVs or other scenarios where the kids slip up 👀

~ Tags: @ask-starrk @missstrawbs2001 1 @purpleprincessonfyre @wizzzardofoz z @thechoooooosenone @rickb-chaos @luna-d-marsh h h @marvelsfavoriteuncle @elzabeth-stark @sci-fi-lexcon @jackiequick @blueboirick @gcthvile @aidanxsophxoxo @meiramel l @trulysummersprivate

[peacedolantwins]

Resentment (G.D)

When you and Grayson first got together, it was like a dream come true. He was your prince charming ready to be everything you ever wanted, but instead of a horse and carriage, it was with a baby blue porshe.

He would pick you up and take you out just about anywhere. Theater, movies, fancy restaurants, anything. You weren’t in the relationship for the money and fancy things, you would have been just as happy watching netflix back at the house or just sitting in a park talking, but he always insisted on going out.

“A beautiful girl deserves beautiful things,” he would always say.

And while you knew the truth, any time the fans saw you two out somewhere expensive or going shopping, they were quick to call you a gold digger.

Grayson would see the comments and tweets and at first he just ignored them. But after a while, he started thinking.

Were you just with him for the money?

So he stopped.

He stopped buying you gifts, he stopped with fancy dinners, he stopped just about everything,

And you didnt mind. You didnt need fancy jewelry or clothes he would get you. As long as you got to spend time with him, the man who you loved, you didnt care.

But then things started to change.

When you two would hang out and you offered to go to the mall and walk around and maybe do some shopping he looked at you like you just offended him.

“Not Rodeo?” he raised a brow.

“I mean, if there was something you wanted to buy there, we can go.” You really werent a fan of going there since everything was way more than you could afford on your own. But if he had planned on buying something, you were okay with going with. You could go to the mall later.

So you two went and he was quick to head straight to the designer stores. You two separated while in the store. While he was picking out things he could actually afford to buy, you were simply window shopping.

You lost track of time when you felt Grayson reach out and touch your arm. Thats when you noticed he already paid.

“You already paid?” you glanced at the bag.

“Yeah, you didnt buy anything?”

“No?” you were confused about why he was asking. You never bought anything when you came to stores like this. You werent about to drop your rent check on something that honestly looked kind of ugly in your opinion.

“Hm figures,” he rolled his eyes at you.

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing, lets go,” he walked ahead of you, leaving you to follow after him.

It went on like this for over a month, him making small remarks when you wouldnt drop an insane amount of money for something. But you got used to it. You didnt let it get to you. Until he did something you thought he would never do.

You woke up late after having spent the night with Grayson in your apartment to find your jewelry box open. You figured you must have forgotten to close it the last time you put something in and you shrugged it off and got ready for the day.

But as you did your makeup you couldnt help but feel something was wrong. You walked over to the box and thats when you noticed it.

The box was nearly empty.

A few of your earings and a few bracelets were there but all of the jewelry Grayson had gotten over the course of your relationship was gone.

And so was your grandmothers ring she left to you.

You started looking around, thinking maybe Grayson might have knocked the box over this morning and everything just fell out, but there was nothing on the floor anywhere. You were starting to panic when you heard your front door open and saw Grayson come in.

“Grayson did you knock over my jewelry this morning?”

“You mean the jewelry I paid for?”

“Sure, whatever, yeah, but did you knock it over?” You didn’t even care about the remark about him paying for it all, you just needed to know what happened.

“I pawned it,” he said casually.

“You what?” you felt your heart drop.

“Its not like you wore it anyway.” While that was true, its not like you didnt wear it because you didnt like it. You had a tendency to lose everything and you werent about to risk losing a bracelet over a thousand dollars while going to the grocery store.

“Did you take my ring?”

“Which one?”

“Grayson this isnt funny! Did you take my ring? The one with the diamond?” you were scared to hear his answer.

“The one I got you? Yeah.”

“You didnt get me that one, Grayson! That was my grandmothers ring! You have to get it back!” you were beyond upset right now.

“So you seriously want me to go buy you the ring now?” he asked annoyed.

“It wasn’t yours to sell! Why would you even take it!”

“Well you better get to it before someone buys it,” he shrugged.

You looked at him in complete shock. You couldnt care less about the other jewelry, but that ring was important to you. It was the one thing you had left from the woman you spent the majority of your childhood with since your parents were always working.

“Grayson, I cant afford to buy it back!” you had gotten it appraised when you first got it and when you found out how much it was worth, you never wore it.

“Then figure it out!” He couldn’t believe how you were acting about it. Hes worn a full outfit that costs more than that ring so he didnt understand why it was such an issue.

You looked at him in complete shock.

“Unbelievable.” you muttered as you slipped on your shoes and you were out the door as soon as you had the address to the store he took it to.

You quickly found it, driving probably more than the speed limit and parked. You walked in and the man behind the counter asked if he could help you find something. After describing the ring to him he motioned you over to one of the cases.

“Yes! That one, how much is it?” you tried to mentally prepare yourself for the price he was about to say.

“That one is going to be $7,899.”

You closed your eyes and did your best to stop the tears from forming. You knew you couldnt even put it on your credit card because you had a $2,500 limit set.

“Would you be able to hold it for me? Just for today while I go to the bank,” you pleaded with him.

“The most I can give you is until four today,” he explained.

You quickly glanced at the clock behind him and started to panic. It was already twelve, and you knew the bank was closed until one, which meant you had two and a half hours at the most to go and get the loan you needed to buy it back.

“Ill be back in by then,” you gave him your information and you started your drive to the bank.

Once you arrived you sat in your car and did your best to keep your composure as you waited for it to open back up. As soon as the clock hit one you practically ran in and waited for one of the employees to tend to you.

A kind looking woman came from the back rooms and called your name and introduced herself as the person who would be helping you.

She had you fill out paperwork and once you were done she put all the information into the computer. She said it would take a little while for the credit report to come in and she left you sitting there in her office while she went elsewhere.

It was already 2:15.

It was three o’clock when she came back in and told you it all went through and you were approved. You rushed through the final paperwork with a few signatures where needed and you were out the door and driving back to the pawn shop.

You quickly found the same man who helped you from earlier and you bought back the ring.

When you got to your apartment building you sat in your car with your head resting on the steering wheel.

Looks like you were back to living the same way you did through college. Ramen noodles and cereal for every meal from now on.

You glanced around the parking lot and noticed the stupid baby blue car was no where around. Good, because you didn’t want to deal with him right now.

The next few days you found yourself at the restaurant you worked at picking up every shift you could. You had been ignoring calls from Grayson and Ethan too once he started calling you.

You didn’t have time to deal with any of them. You had an eight thousand dollar loan to pay back.

It wasn’t until the two of them walked into the restaurant and got seated in your section when you had to finally deal with them.

“Hi my name is Y/n, I’m gonna be your server today, can I get you something to drink?”

“Y/n? It’s us you don’t have to be all hospitality with us,” Ethan was confused as to why you were being so formal with them.

“We have water, tea, and pepsi products,” you placed the menus in front of them.

“Um, just water, babe-“ Grayson looked up at you and for the first time in days he noticed how exhausted you looked. You were running on fumes and he could see it.

“Great, I’ll be right back with your drinks,” you quickly walked off to get the drinks.

“Dude what’s up with her?” Ethan asked his brother.

“I don’t know, I know we had a fight a few days ago but I thought she’d be over it by now,” he explained.

“Here you go,” you placed their water down in front of them, “and did we need more time to look at the menu or are you ready to order?”

“Y/n, stop it-“ Neither of the boys liked how you were acting towards them.

“Don’t worry, take your time, I’ll be back in a few minutes,” you walked away again.

“Gray, what did you do?” Ethan had never seen you this way. You were being so cold and lifeless despite the fake smile and cheery voice you had slapped on.

“I accidentally pawned one of her rings,” Grayson explained.

“Why did you… what ring? Doesn’t she only have the one her grandma left her?”

“I didn’t know,” Graymuttered more to himself.

“You didn’t…” Ethan stared at him in shock. “Are you serious! That would be like her pawning the ring dad left us! Did you get it back for her?” Ethan knew how much that ring meant to you. And from the few times he saw it, he had a general idea of how much it cost.

His brothers silence was all he got but it was enough to let him know the answer.

“Where did you sell it? Fucking hell Grayson! Why wouldn’t you get it back!” Ethan was ready to walk out of the restaurant right now and go buy it back for you since his idiot of a brother didn’t do it himself.

“I went back later and it was already gone okay! I tried!”

“How much did you get for it?” He questioned.

“About six and a half thousand.”

“Well you gave her the money right? Maybe she went and bought it back,” Ethan was trying to be hopeful of the situation.

Silence again.

“Grayson you didn’t even give her the money?” Ethan knew you weren’t made of money and knew how much you made. Which meant he knew there was no way you could have afforded to buy it back yourself.

“Have we made a decision yet?” You appeared out of what seemed like nowhere.

“Just a salad for both of us, babe talk to me please,” Grayson knew he fucked up and he didn’t know how to make it better.

“I’ll go ahead and send that in, any appetizers while you wait?”

“No, Y/n please,” Grayson covered your hand with his.

“I’ll be back with your order,” you pried your hand away gently, not wanting to cause a scene.

What you didn’t know was that your manager was standing close by and saw someone touch one of his employees. And most restaurants didn’t care much about the workers being hit on or made uncomfortable, but he cared about his employees.

Once he saw you leave to take the order to the kitchen, he went up to the table.

“Excuse me,” he crouched down next to the table, “I’m the manager here and I’m not going to have you harassing my employees. If I see anything like that again, you’re out of here. Enjoy your meal.” He patted the table and went off to find you.

“Y/n, I’m giving your table to Erin, take one of hers,” he gestured to the two boys in your section.

“No it’s okay, I can handle it,” you would much rather deal with the twins than the group of kids who looked like they were coming in for homecoming.

“Are you sure?”

“I’ve had worse than someone trying to hold my hand, I’ve got it,” you assured him.

“Okay, you let me know if he tries something again,” he looked at you.

“Yes sir,” you mock saluted him at which he rolled his eyes.

You went and checked on the other tables in your section and felt Graysons eyes on you the whole time. You eventually went and took them their salads and asked if they needed anything, but you left before they could answer.

Eventually they asked for the bill and you brought it out, more than happy to have them gone. You returned their card and waited for them to leave before going to clean up the table.

It was then that you saw the giant tip they left.

$500 in cash.

They carried more on them then you made in a week.

You grabbed it and passed by your manager and quickly explained they left something behind that you were going to return to them before following them out the front door.

“Grayson!” You called after him.

“Y/n, look I’m so sorry about-“ he started.

“Can I see your keys really quick?” You cut him off

He handed them over, confused as to why you were asking for his keys. But then he saw you sliding your key off the key ring.

“Y/n no, please don’t,” he knew what this meant.

You tossed him back his keys before you took the money out of your apron and slamming it to his chest.

“That should be enough for the price of my key back.”

With that you walked back into the restaurant and slapped the fake smile back on your face. While you really could have used the five hundred dollars, you were not going to let him try to feel better about what he did.

No amount of money he tried to spend on you now could fix the damage already done.

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[gruumpy-cat]

The Art of Being Nonchalant (Or Not) / Chapter Seven

By the time almost everyone else was either gone to their dormitories or sleeping in the Room of Requirement, I was still sitting in the armchair, staring out the open window. Jax was sprawled on the sofa nearby, sleeping, his arm clutching the half-empty tequila bottle.

Painfully sobered up, I felt incredibly alone in a room filled with people, even before the party ended. My thoughts alternated between the fucked up way I acted with Al and the fucked up way my family acted with everything, but mostly me. It was driving me crazy, attempting to find an excuse for my own behaviour, while I fully knew there wasn’t one.

Trying to make myself feel better by flirting with Al and almost hooking up with him again was not how I planned to spend the party and making myself feel better was certainly not a good enough excuse. I sighed and closed my eyes, drowning out the guilty thoughts, banishing them from my head.

The armchair sagged under the weight of James sitting next to me. It was too small for both of us so I brought my knees up, hugged them to myself and half sat in James’ lap. He didn’t hug me. He wasn’t saying anything, either.

“So…you saw what…what happened,” I muttered in a low voice, not looking him in the eyes, but fixing my gaze on the almost full moon visible above the Forbidden Forest.

“Er…Yeah... I think Al will be fine. Just…just don’t lead him on anymore,” James sighed and dropped his head on the back of the armchair, looking up at the vaulted ceiling.

I let out a groan of frustration, my hands fiddling with a rip in my jeans, “He won’t,” James straightened up his head and we finally looked each other in the eyes, “He started to say he’s fucking in love with me before I stopped him. He’s bloody mental. Love…what’s it good for? And we were only together for two months, he doesn’t know what he’s saying…Merlin…,” I continued my rant but James didn’t nod or agree with me. His brows were furrowed and he had an uneasy look on his face.

“What?”

He ran his fingers through his hair and closed his eyes, putting an arm around me and drawing me closer to him, my head fitting into the crook of his neck. “I fucked up,” I whispered and looked up at him. “You’re the queen of fuckups,” he said in a strained voice as if he was battling with himself. He then buried his head in my hair, his lips accidentally brushing against my neck, in the spot where just hours ago his brother kissed me. It felt like a jolt of electricity ran through me and I jerked away, managing to fall from the armchair on the plushy red carpet. James looked at me in alarm but soon burst out laughing at my crumpled form.

I joined in half-heartedly, my thoughts swimming with confusion at the way I reacted. Maybe I wasn’t as sober as I thought I was. And the flirting with Al, the kiss, then Jax, it all must’ve left me fired up. That’s what it was.

Glad that James didn’t seem to have noticed what actually happened, I leaned against the armchair, running my hands through the carpet with closed eyes. I wasn’t about to go back to the armchair in case my body had any other funny ideas.

“You could tell him you’re sorry,” said James. I knew him well enough that I could recognise the tone of his voice, resigned to the fact that I probably wouldn’t listen to his advice.

“I thought I’d just ignore the problem and hope it disappears.”

James laughed softly, shaking his head, “You almost never do that, though.”

“He’s right, one could say you usually crash into the problem and things explode,” a voice I haven’t heard since the beginning of term said. There was a faint smell of gunpowder and as I looked up at the person who joined us, I was met with the sight of Rose Weasley sporting a black eye, her eyebrows looking singed, her red tie burned off at the end.

She sat down on the table, making a couple of glasses fall down and looked around, her eyes landing on Seth who was snoring on the floor nearby, cuddled around Lysander’s discarded clothing. Rose frowned and sighed.

Raising his eyebrows, James asked, “What the fuck happened to you?”

“This git,” she aggressively kicked Seth with her leg but he didn’t show any sign that he felt it, “passed out while we were trying to set off the Gryffindor fireworks I spent the better part of summer inventing…and poked me in the eye with his wand, except it wasn’t his wand, it was a fake one and anyway…I tried to hex him but I couldn’t see properly and set myself on fire accidentally.” She blushed furiously, though whether from anger or something else, I couldn’t tell.

“That’s bizarre, even for you,” I mumbled, not really paying attention because James started playing with my hair and his fingers kept lightly brushing against my neck, distracting me. I thought he would’ve been angrier at my behaviour, but I wasn’t about to complain.

Rose’s singed eyebrows shot up as Seth yelled in his sleep (‘I’ll kill you!’). She turned her head back to us and asked, “Hey, did you hear about your parents’ match?”

I rolled my eyes, “No.”

“I think you really should –”

“I’m going back to the dorm,” I said as I stood up and Rose stopped talking, looking at me with a raised eyebrow. “Come with me?” I asked James, “With my luck, I’m likely to bump into North as soon as I leave the room.”

He smirked at me, “Well…I’m always here to help a damsel in distress…OUCH!” I playfully hit him in the shoulder, making him pout at me, but he still took out his dad’s cloak and we set off towards the Gryffindor Tower.

As we drew near the Fat Lady’s portrait, James draped an arm around my waist to stop me from walking around the corner. He stuffed the Marauder’s Map inside his pocket and whispered in my ear, “North coming,” James moved forward, flattening me against the wall and leaning against me, his breath tingling on my bare skin. I could hear Professor North’s footsteps coming closer and closer, until he walked past us in the corridor, so close that if James moved an inch, he would’ve bumped into us. My heart was beating hard and fast and for a moment I thought it beat so loud that North might hear it.

Looking up, I saw that James had a devilish smirk on his face that made him look like he was on the brink of doing something Peeves would approve of. “Why are you smirking like that?” I whispered, peering around him to see if North has left the corridor, but he was still walking slowly, nearing the turn towards the Grand Staircase. In the darkness, I couldn’t really see it, but I had a faint idea that James blushed, the occurrence of which was so rare that I wondered what in Merlin’s name was going through his head. Sometimes I wished I was a Legilimens.

“No reason,” he replied in a slightly husky voice, interrupting my thoughts about how being skilled in Legilimency would also be beneficial when taking N.E.W.T.s.

He was still close enough to make me feel light-headed from the Firewhisky emanating from him in delicious waves. Putting my hand on his chest to steady myself, I could feel the thumping of his heart echoing my own, almost as if the two were the same. James looked down at my outstretched hand and covered it with his, a deep frown forming on his face. He let out a breath and let me go, turning his head to see if North was gone.

“Let’s go,” he murmured, breaking me out of my daze and starting to walk towards the portrait hole. I followed in silence.

The common room was empty, the fire was slowly dying down, only a couple of candles were lighting the room. At the foot of the stairs leading up to the dorms, James reached out and grabbed my hand, stopping me from climbing the stairs, “Quinn?”

“Yeah?”

“Fix it,” he said, a small smile turning his lips upward, “With Al…and Ash and Dom.”

I cocked an eyebrow at him, “What did the two of them tell you?”

James shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes at me, “Nothing. But you have a tendency towards lashing out and they were only trying to be your friends. You can let them do that sometimes, you know?”

The pangs of guilt that I temporarily stashed away somewhere in a nice drawer in my brain crept up again. I leaned on the stone wall, letting the cold penetrate through my clothes, not looking at James but staring off into the dying embers of the fire. He came closer and nudged my shoulder.

“I hate it when you’re right,” I said, but my anger from earlier seemed to have faded away, or maybe I became numb to it.

“Liar,” James said in a teasing tone, smirking at me, “You’re physically incapable of hating anything that I do.”

I shook my head at him, struggling to keep a straight face, but I couldn’t stop the slight smile that made its way to my face as I started to climb the stairs towards my dorm.

Ziggy was sleeping at the foot of my bed and Ash was sitting next to him in her blue dressing gown, stroking his grey fur. I had a feeling she was waiting for me. I could see Dom curled up in her bed, occasionally muttering something in her sleep. The rest of the beds had the curtains drawn over them. Ash heard me enter and turned towards me but didn’t say anything. I sat down next to her and promptly sprawled myself across the bed.

“I’m –” I started, but Ash interrupted me. “I know you want to say you’re sorry because James guilted you into it,” she said, her voice low but harsh, her words not entirely wrong.

“But –”

“No, listen to me,” Ash continued, not giving me the chance to explain, “You’re bloody hard to be friends with but I know that. Dom knows it, hell, everyone knows it. And we’ve accepted it. And sometimes we pry because we’re your friends. Can’t be helped. So you’re either going to have to accept that we’re going to keep bothering you from time to time or…,” she trailed off and looked at me. At that moment, I realised for the first time that besides James, besides grandad and Ethan, there were people who actually cared about me, for reasons I couldn’t understand because I sure as hell wouldn’t care about someone who acted like I’ve been acting.

“Why?” I asked in a small voice.

“What do you mean why? You might be trying to fool everyone and yourself into thinking you don’t have a heart but you’re also the person who broke Ridley’s nose with your bat knowing you’ll risk expulsion after Dom told us what he tried to do,” she stood up as she said this and leaned over me slightly so I couldn’t avoid her gaze, “Heartless people don’t do that.”

She went to her own bed and closed the curtains around her, leaving me to stare at the top of my four-poster, thinking about her words. My thoughts drifted off to James, to the night before we went to The Howler, to how he said something similar and then, and then I remembered the feeling of him being close to me, of how I couldn’t breathe. I closed my eyes and chased the thoughts away, cleared my head and drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

I missed breakfast the next morning, sleeping late and waking up in time for lunch. I was ravenous because in the past twenty-four hours the only things that sustained me were alcohol and one Chocolate Frog. I would definitely not recommend my lifestyle choices.

When I entered the Great Hall, the charmed sky dark and full of stormy clouds, the whispers and stares followed me all the way to the Gryffindor table where most of my friends were sitting, apart from the rest of the table. I cocked an eyebrow at a third year in passing who was pointing at me, making him go beet red and bury his head behind a book, his eyes still following my every move. I wasn’t unfamiliar with the occasional gossip but this was unusual even for me.

With narrowed eyes, I sat down next to Dom, who looked very green in the face and the food on her plate was mostly uneaten. She was nursing a cup of chamomile tea and holding her head in her hands, occasionally letting out a groan. James and Fred were whispering to one another, I could definitely hear Fred saying ‘Slytherin’ and ‘Al’ at one point, with both of them glancing at the Slytherin table. Ash was scribbling something in her notebook, not even looking up when I came over.

I piled a generous amount of food on my plate and started eating, eyeing the people around me with suspicion.

“Why the fuck,” I started before taking another bite and continued, “is everyone staring at me and whispering?”

I only got a groan from Dom in response, but Rose dropped into the seat next to me and smirked, “Well, you really should’ve let me tell you last night,” she said and shrugged her shoulders, then started rummaging around in her bag, looking for something until she finally took out a copy of the previous night’s Evening Prophet. “You might want to read this,” she said as she slid the paper next to my plate. James and Fred stopped whispering and even Ash looked over with interest, pausing her scribbling, tapping her quill on her lips. Apparently, none of them except Rose have read the paper last night.

I grabbed the paper and turned it over, only to be met with a front cover filled with a huge photograph of a Quidditch match with three players involved in some sort of a scuffle. It was difficult to discern what was happening because the photograph was quite blurry and there were spectators moving in front of the camera. My eyes darted toward the title and I felt a cold fury spreading through me. I turned the pages to get to the article and started reading it out loud.

QUIDDITCH MATCH MAYHEM – JONES TO BLAME

If tonight is anything to judge by, we might be witnessing a very public (and ugly) divorce between two star Quidditch players, Dylan and Ivy Jones, and quite possibly their forced retirement, writes Rita Skeeter. The handsome captain of the Appleby Arrows, Ivan Orlov, world-class Keeper rumoured to be the next in line to play for Russia, has had his heart broken by his Seeker, according to confidential sources close to the Jones family, which has caused him to temporarily lose his mind and take matters into his own hands after Dylan Jones, the chaser for Ballycastle Bats, scored his tenth goal of the match against the Arrows. Orlov, convinced that his Seeker not only broke his heart but also sold out his team’s secrets to her husband (see more about these allegations on page 9), attacked Dylan Jones with a bat he took from Ashley Grimes, one of the Arrows’ Beaters. Ivy Jones joined the fray and had to be physically restrained by three SecuriWizards before she let go of Orlov who was promptly shipped off to St Mungo’s due to the peculiar nature of his injuries resulting from combined curses sent from both Ivy and Dylan Jones. The husband and wife were seen bickering shortly after and we can only presume that Dylan’s hushed up, but still widely known, affair and this new development between Ivy and Ivan Orlov will only result in divorce.

The Jones family is well known for their scandals and troublemaking so this news should come as no surprise. The head of the family, Ian Jones, who was recently rumoured to have arranged the murder of Selene Zhang, the former chief designer at Vulcan’s Fire, was watching the tonight’s match unfold. He has apparently decided to dispel the rumours about him trying to murder Selene Zhang by having her accompany him to the match. Selene Zhang, who, as our confidential source tells us, is actually his lover, which is in and of itself scandalous as she is the daughter of the deceased Jessica Zhang, a former Tornados player who Ian Jones coached. He has known Selene since her childhood and we can only guess at how, and when, this love affair started. As our readers will remember, Ian Jones was also accused of fixing matches, and even though those accusations were dismissed, one can wonder whether the dismissal was the result of truth or threats, as Ian Jones has at his disposal his Hit Wizard alcoholic grandson, Ethan Jones, who was mysteriously missing from tonight’s match, to do his dirty work.

Quinn Jones, the youngest member of the Jones family, was also missing from tonight’s match but she is certainly following in her mother’s footsteps. As confirmed by numerous sources, Quinn Jones leaves a trail of broken hearts in her wake, and the latest in her series of conquests is none other than James Sirius Potter, the son of Harry Potter.

“What the bloody fuck?” James yelled and I looked up from the article to see his angry face looking murderous, “Give me that!” he said and snatched the paper from my hands, continuing to read.

The two were seen together in the popular wizarding nightclub The Howler, but it seems that James Potter wasn’t enough to satiate Quinn as she was seen tangled with a mysterious man, obviously older than her, in front of James who looked as if he was contemplating murder due to heartache.

We can only hope that in the future, the son of the Boy Who Lived will choose more wisely.

I stared blankly at James and the rest of my friends, lost for words. Fred was looking at the paper, “Merlin, James, you look hilarious in this photograph, quite ready for murder!” He grinned at James who sharply looked down at the photograph Fred was pointing to. I leaned over the table to catch a glimpse of it and there he was, James looking angrier than I’ve ever seen him, seemingly arguing about something with Fred though he was looking away from him. The next picture was of Logan and I outside the club, just before Logan Apparated us to his flat.

James made a grimace that I think was supposed to be a smile, “Did you drink so much that night that you forgot we argued about whether Firewhisky was better than Serpentgin, Freddie?” He shook his head and looked at Fred in the eyes, waiting for him to say something. Fred frowned, scratching his chin, looking like he was thinking about something but then he exclaimed, “Oh yeah, yeah…You’re right! I did forget, Merlin, you and your Firewhisky, how can you even –”

“Oh stop it, Fred, you’re not going to start that up again, are you?” said Ash, a deep frown on her face, watching me stare at the Prophet. I was stunned and I had no idea what to say to them. It was Rita Skeeter, and obviously, I couldn’t believe anything that came out of her quill, but the fact that all this happened and I still had no owl from anyone was troubling me. Rose gently took the paper from me and stashed it back in her bag.

I looked up and James’ eyes found my own. He winked at me and gave a huge grin, “Well, now we know that Rita Skeeter really does make up everything she writes.”

For a moment I wondered whether my whole family has gone fucking mental and nobody bothered to tell me.

Dom finally raised her head and muttered, “Poor Al, he doesn’t even feature.”

We all started to laugh at that, even though, in the back of my mind, the words I just read kept playing over and over.

Back in the common room, James, Fred and I sat down in our favourite armchairs next to the fireplace to do our Transfiguration homework, with Ash sitting next to us, still scribbling in her notebook, her homework neatly rolled up and sealed. As I started to write the essay Cavendish assigned us (‘Discuss the potential issues arising from human transfiguration and how they can be avoided’), I caught myself still thinking about that bloody article.

“James?” I asked and he looked up from his essay, ink dripping from his quill on the parchment. “Can I borrow Antigone?”

James raised an eyebrow, a confused look on his face, “You’re actually asking me? Who are you and what have you done with Quinn?”

“What?”

He snickered at that, “You usually just take her. Oh hell, you’re not still thinking about that garbage Skeeter wrote, are you?”

I tore off a piece of parchment and shrugged my shoulders, “I’m going to send a letter to grandad to see what the fuck is going on and why I’m finding out my parents caused an incident at a Quidditch match from the fucking Prophet.”

Dipping my quill into the ink bottle, I composed the shortest letter I’ve ever written.

Dear grandad,

What the fuck?

Love, Quinn