#etc etc. basically those tags are BIGGGG ol disclaimers

[dyketubbo]

as i like get adjusted to college and figure out where i stand in life esp in regards to my identity ive realized how much i dont particularly care for like.. finding love. finding a "better family". even sometimes the idea that i have to find or consider people ive recently met friends isnt something that really excites me. but when i think about the word community, thats what rings true to me. i dont want love of Any kind. i dont want a better family. friends are a difficult subject to breach and not always clear to me. when people, especially queer people, talk as if finding your people and coming into your identity is about finding love, finding true family, whatever, it often just feels.. weird. especially when its worded like "you WILL find these things. this IS what the community is. the True Experience. what its About."

but what Is nice is thinking that some day, ill at least (and honestly at most for me) have a community. people who may not be lovers, family, friends, but people i belong with nonetheless. people i can rely on when it gets rough even if we arent "Close". i dont need a family, or a lover, and maybe not even friends, but i Want a community. i want people who can and will support me. i want to belong. i want to be heard. it doesnt need to be love. id actually really prefer if no one called it that. it just needs to be there, and ill be happy