#esrana flynn

[inkwell-and-dagger]

HTKAI CYOA

Part One.

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Immortals.

Those with the unnatural ability to surpass the regular limits of the human body, able to endure even the most lethal of wounds, able to heal from injuries with an uncanny speed, fall under this title.

But it wasn't as if they were particularly sought after. Unlike other, more mythical beings that plagued the world, they were treated normally.

Hell, if you were to pass one in the street, they'd look like any normal passerby. Just a regular person, unless one would happen to witness their healing process or uncanny ability to walk off lethal injuries themselves.

One of these Immortals is you.

—> —> —>

The bar bustles with activity; the soft drone of voices, the cheers and commentary of a football game playing on a television, glasses colliding with a gentle clink.

You've only recently moved near Durham, and found this quaint little pub to unwind in the evening, perhaps get acquainted with your surroundings.

But god, it was hard to unwind with all this racket.

You swirl your drink in your glass, watching the ice chink against the side. There was no point getting anything stronger; the only one driving you home tonight was yourself, after all.

The chatter of the pub drones on, and suddenly this place wasn't as relaxing as you'd previously made it out to be.

Maybe you just needed a breather. The air was thick and your senses were being all but assaulted by everything going on. A group of men nearby jeer at the television.

There was a woman a few seats to your left, chatting idly with a bartender. Curled, ebony black hair frames a face of rich brown, freckled skin and a scrutinising gaze. As she drums her fingers against the bartop, the other resting below her chin, you notice a faint, thin scar running across her bottom lip, and another splitting her brow. The bartender refills her glass, seeming flustered, before they walk off.

“Hey,” You lean over to her; and she turns to look at you. “Sorry to bother, but can you watch my drink for me?”

The woman smiles, and gives a nod. “Of course. I understand.” Her voice is smooth and accented, faintly Russian. She seems to recognise you, but you don't recognise her. Strange, but maybe you're just not thinking straight.

You smile back and thank her, to which she nods once more and pulls your glass besides her own. With that, you grab your bag and jacket and weave past people to get to the door. The interaction went surprisingly well; at least you don't have to worry about anyone tinkering with your drink.

The woman watches you go.

—> —> —>

As soon as you exit, the wintry air outside hits your face, refreshing albeit frigid. It had just stopped raining; the fine scent of petrichor was a welcome change to the muggy air of the pub. You breathe deeply, either to savour the smell or calm yourself down.

It was much quieter out here; just what you needed.

You move out of the way of the entrance and lean against the brick wall of the pub. Cars pass you by, their headlights gleaming ahead like keen, peering eyes in the night. The quiet chatter from inside momentarily amplifies as someone swings the door open and enters.

Passersby pay you no mind; at least, most of them. One of them who had emerged from a nearby carpark, a shorter lad in a thick black hoodie, gave you a second glance as they passed. That same strange gleam of recognition you saw in the woman's eyes returned; although this time reflected in a steely gaze of dull grey and sky blue.

You meet their eye momentarily, enough for a feeling of unease to settle on your mind and a shiver to snake down your spine. The cars, the street, the pub fades away from your vision, replaced with a fog-like darkness.

Just then, they turn away once more, and the feeling dissipates as if it were never there. They walk onwards, and turn sharply across a nearby corner. The street swims back into view.

Strange. Perhaps you’re overthinking; people stare, you can't change that. You'll never meet these people again — the woman in the bar and the stranger passing by — so what was the point of dwelling on the tiniest interactions you have with them?

Checking the time, you're mildly surprised to see it was already 10pm. It feels like you've only just gotten here. But, a nagging feeling in the back of your mind says to go home, which was, admittedly, a pretty good idea.

So, you re-enter the pub begrudgingly, and immediately the noise assaults your ears. Bloody hell; you bet they're enjoying themselves, but couldn't they at least not give you tinnitus in the process?

You return to the bar, thank the woman once more with a smile before finishing the remains of your drink. She insists that she'll take your glass with her own; how kind.

The cold night air greets you with open arms. Shrugging your jacket on and shoving your hands into its pockets. Your bag over your shoulder, you walk down the wet, puddled street to the car park beside the pub.

You pass the same alleyway the strange young man had gone down prior. It's dark and, before you realise, a hand is looped around your neck and you're dragged into the alley.

A hand clamps over your mouth, muffling a strangled cry. The hand on your neck removes, to instead be replaced with the cold, sharp blade of a knife.

“Shut the fuck up and do as I say if you don't want one of your little Immortal lives to be lost,” A voice sneered into your ear, strained and tense, lilted with a thick British accent.

Crap. You have a knife to the throat and nothing to protect yourself with. Whether this is a simple robbery or something else, you are unsure.

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AAUSJFHJ LETS FUCKING GO YALL. CYOA CHAPT 1. thank you all for being so patient with me these last few months regarding my writing ♥️♥️♥️

I'm not bothered to re-read this so sorry if there's any mistakes

HTKAI Taglist: @kira-the-whump-enthusiast @whumpy-wyrms @creppersfunpalooza @toyybox @vidawhump

@whumpinthepot

[allergic-to-four-leaf-clovers]

okay so like. the monochrome mentality by riproducer. it's such a good song and I associate it with Forsaken Souls SO MUCH cuz it's literally the gist of the lore. I'll explain.

Vanté belongs to @er0s-1s-whump1ng / @paranoia-exe, and Ama and Fletcher were a collaborative oc between xir and myself!!

(readmore because oo ramble and this is. very messy. I'm sorry)

okay so. we've got what I assume is vflower's part in the song. the whole "gather round for all to see the hideous atrocious committed by this individual" — "let's put them right where they belong, this law defying individual" — "and once they are exposed we will annihilate them" — "to those of you they have infected, I'm calling out a roster of accumulating unsavoury sins" — "come on, get it over with! toss the poison down the hatch! their decomposed integrity with a rotten soul to match" — "I think that I can testify, we'd rather have them dead." deeefffinetly give The Survivors. I mean. they're literally a bunch of people who survived rayan when he was on a bloody murder spree lmao. especially Madir, Foster, Esrana and Amaryliss (as like Es and Zayn, I assume Ama hadn't interacted with Rayan prior to her joining TS, so I assume she'd be holding a grudge against Rayan for hurting Fletch?) because they all hate Rayan the most. they literally created TS to make him suffer for what he did. they literally see Rayan as Cora, even though he's trying to be better and he's nothing like Cora anymore. I dunno if I explained it well but the lyrics I chose definitely remind me of most of TS (excluding Ezra, Zayn and also kinda Ivy since xir's sorta neutral about Rayan)

and then there's what (I think) is the part sung by gumi!! lines such as "hey, tell me what they've done to you. this unsuspecting individual" — "to those of you this has affected, I'm calling out the monster that initiated this needless hatred" — "come on, just get over it, try to give them one more chance" remind me of Maddie and Vee, and basically anyone else who supports / has supported Rayan and was/is on his side! since Rayan had already served his time in prison, they probably believe The Survivors' actions are unnecessary, especially since it's been going on for so long. and then the whole "try to give them one more chance" is because like- Rayan's trying to improve, he's been trying to become a better person for a long, long time and he's doing the best he can. but, The Survivors are ignoring that.

another thing I'd like to note is the whole stanza after that:

this is definitely Ezra. he's conflicted: they're on Rayan's side, but then again, Rayan killed his older brother, who was practically the most important figure in his life.

AND THEN!!!! and then the majority of maika's part:

THIS IS RAYAN!! he's sick of the torture, the torment, the constant pain from his captors and he's sick of people fighting over him when he's immortal and can just deal with it until The Survivors die, and he's practically pleading TS to finish making him suffer because he's just bored of it.

I dunno if I explained this well but I hope the lyrics I chose conveyed it better!!

[ocprompts]

WAIT HOLY CRAP I CAN RAMBLE?? OH HELL YEAH

I'm not gonna go *too* into the main plotline and I'll only do one of the characters cuz it does contain a lot of triggering content, but it's all on my other blog which is a whump blog lmao

okay sO- forsaken souls woo!! I hope I do this right-

the main character of Forsaken Souls is Rayan Hyacinth (previously Cora Maguire; I'll explain why in a sec!), who uses he/it pronouns. he is immortal, and stuck at the physical age of 35, though could be much older by now (late 30's, early 40's). he is an ex-serial killer, which is where the whole Cora ordeal will come in soon, and there are a group of his remaining / surviving victims just doing some good ol' revenge shenanigans so to speak, who are quite fittingly named The Survivors! y'know what I'll name them but I won't go too into them I don't want this to be too long to fill your askbox or something- Foster Canavan (they/them), Ezra Hendrix (he/zem/they), Madir Ahearn (he/him), Esrana Flynn (she/her), Zayn Flynn (he/they) and two other characters created by one of my wonderful mutuals and partner in (whump related) crime /j: Amaryliss O'Harris (she/her) and Fletcher O'Harris (he/him). holy crap that's a lot.

anyhow, there are multiple reasons Rayan used to be called Cora, such as:

he changed his name cuz he's transmasc

he also needed to change his name cuz. y'know. being a serial killer kinda means you become a little more known. the name change in general didn't work out lmao but he's sticking with it

he just sorta didn't like his name and thought it didn't fit him

AND OH OH OOU OIOHOOHOHHO AND because, in canon, Rayan tends to talk about Cora as if they were a different person. he doesn't want to associate himself with Cora, and his kills, etc etc. it confuses me sometimes, especially cuz in any of my written words their name tags are seperate (e.g. "rayan hyacinth" and "cora maguire" are both each seperate tags) but it's fiinnnneeeee

uhh in general he's Not Doing Okay™. he's going through the horrors ig. he's my little guy. my original boy

also this is him!! I I made this using this cool picrew just found. I don't draw so y'know-

his clothing style is more like Caroline Carr's, so very gothy (yeah he dresses feminine too!!) but y'know we balling

love the earrings!

[allergic-to-four-leaf-clovers]

YES OKAY THANK YOU SO MUCH IM FERAL ♥️♥️♥️♥️

okay so the basic gist of htkai in general is like. foster Does Not Like Immortals™ or anything nonhuman or anything they can't exactly comprehend lives in this world with them. they have some sort of irrational fear of the fact that they don't know how far an Immortal's, well, immortality, stretches to. once they realize that rayan would be a perfect target, as well as his sister madison who has imperfect immortality* but like. she would crush them if she wanted to, they kinda decided to test out how much an Immortal's body can withstand themselves. cue the potentially triggering things, I'll put general warnings by them don't worry <3

*imperfect immortality is a lil (potentially??? I don't know) thing I made up for the sillies. compared to those with perfect immortality that are just much more weakened when under so much pain that their body stops functioning but they don't die, those with imperfect immortality have had few and far between cases of dying. but, this comes with enhanced healing processes, so if madison were to get a paper cut it'd heal much quicker than the average human's would :D

so rayan spends like. two years in foster's basement, and over that time He Goes Through So Many Horrors™. living in a dark room with no clock or window to tell what time it is and also being covered in a bit of blood isn't exactly the way rayan wants to spend his 31st birthday, let alone the rest of his immortal life. uhh BUT foster gets some friends along the way!!

uhh okay so there used to be Vanté (a demon ALSO EROS' OC @4sh-th3-f4e GET MENTIONED GRR GRR) in the group which foster tolerated but he ditched them after a while and then there's uhh. there esrana and zayn flynn, both russian, madir ahearn, who's BABYGIRL and german, and then ezra who is from the wonderful state of texas. they all agreed to help foster sorta torment this normal guy for shits and giggles, but zayn doesn't cuz he's an actual fucking good person! he's only in the group because they needed someone to make sure rayan's wounds didn't get infected and that he was at least somewhat fed because at the time foster didn't know shit about how to tend to a wound.

Tw brief mention of amputation

uh. now ya see. rayan lost his right leg during his captivity. I won't go too gorey I'll keep it vague but madir's to blame for that but hey! it's fine they're both just a bit silly they're the prosthetic duo.

end of tw

ALSO this is gonna be an actual thing in a later chapter (chapter 14 Midnight Siren Songs) where ANOTHER one of eros' ocs, Amaryllis, is a sorta siren girlboss and she lures rayan back into captivity after a rather successful escape attempt. she's so cool I adore her so much

anyhow after that rayan gets send to The Naughty Corner (madir's house. uh oh!!!!!) and that's sorta where the story takes a little twist! this is gonna get deep so I'll just sortaaa

tw mention of character death, viewing one's own body, sort of out of body experience when you squint though not really, sort of psychological shit

so. rayan isn't doing well at this point. he escapes madir's little cabin but something's drawing him back to it. he goes and lo and behold he sees himself but. yk. yeah. uh

rayan enters this sorta distraught episode and he just wanders around the forest surrounding madir's cabin until he gets lost entirely. did he even have perfect immortality in the first place? if he was dead, why hadn't his soul crossed? was it just a hallucination? he doesn't know.

end of tw! I'm so sorry if this is too much for you /gen 😭

and that is sort of where the story ends. rayan just wanders, and nobody knows what happens next. maybe he gets found and taken back home, to his friends and family and he finally lives that life he deserves. or maybe he continues wandering, forever unsure of whether that memory in the attic was real or not :3

it's all gonna be posted onto my whump blog since it does contain a lot of whump, but hey! if you're comfortable with it (I'm so sorry if I keep asking you if you're uncomfortable with this or not-) then I don't mind sendin you some more snippets ♥️

JUMPSCARE!!!

GAH--

..is this payback after yesterday? /silly

[inkwell-and-dagger]

The woman smiles, and gives a nod. “Of course. I understand.” Her voice is smooth and accented, faintly Russian. She seems to recognise you, but you don't recognise her.

How To Kill An Immortal Taglist: @kira-the-whump-enthusiast @whumpy-wyrms @creppersfunpalooza @toyybox @vidawhump

(soon to be) HTKAI CYOA taglist: @whumpinthepot

if any of y'all from the main taglist wanna be transferred to the cyoa one too, lemme know!!! :D

[inkwell-and-dagger]

silly little esrana profile since I haven't drawn her yet ;3 she's gorgeous wtf

[inkwell-and-dagger]

thinking about esrana and madir.....

[inkwell-and-dagger]

colour is a thing I use very frequently in the process of designing my characters. they can all be reduced to a single colour that is incorporated in their design and / or personality in some way

for example:

Rayan's assigned colour is red. he has a warm colour scheme in his design, commonly wears red, and is always covered in blood. always

Foster is blue. in comparison, their design uses greys, blacks and of course, blues. their demeanour is equally as cold.

Aarin is more of a pastel blue, due to the colour of their eyes and their withdrawn, quiet personality

Zuriel is orange. compared to Aarin, its design is warm and friendly, much like its personality. it and Aarin balance each other out perfectly

Ailean is a light, pale green. due to the white brightness of the lab and their own albinism, along with the fact his design is inspired by a hemlock flower, they have a pale, muted appearance

Madir is beige. this is mostly shown in his design, in the white streaks of his hair from his poliosis and his dark, neutral clothing style

Esrana is a dark purpleish-pink. purple is an elegant colour, wouldn't you say? perfectly describes her, from her hair to her silky smooth accent

Madison is a mahogany colour. a strong colour, yet warm and inviting. she could crush you if she were so inclined, and yet her hands are gentle

Kore is a smoky, foggy grey. hard and cold like stone, scrutinizing eyes judging your every move. a vile man, he is

Zayn is a lavender-ish colour. unlike Esrana, who's dark and unforgiving, he's a lighter, more easygoing person

Derwyn is a neon, bright pink. eager, bright, loud. the colour reminds me a lot of their wide, unblinking eyes

Ezra is white. like ailean, he has albinism, and this is incorporated in his design a lot. he has a pale, light colour scheme, and nobody can really tell whether or not he's actually okay with or against Foster's situation with a captive. he's just.. neutral. white

but what about Ruaridh, you say? well, they're a special case

the lab is the only thing Ruaridh has known. for their entire life, they've had nothing but the clothes that Derwyn gave them, nothing but the books Derwyn gave them, nothing but the injections that Derwyn injected. they've had no outside communication, had never seen the world, had never had a chance to gain their own colour, in a way. they don't exactly have a colour

anyway. I like my ocs

[inkwell-and-dagger]

TEENY DRABBLE FOR YOU LOT LETS GOOOOOO!!! Vee and Vesker belong to @er0s-1s-whump1ng!!

Madison had thought that, after her temporary captivity with The Survivors, that they'd leave her alone after that. They'd all gotten everything they could out of her, and she figured that now she'd hidden away for a couple days at Theo's, it was all over now.

An empty, aching feeling in her chest, she absently unlocked the door to her house, letting it creak open as she stepped in. She'd just dropped Rayan off at Vesker's, and she prayed on whatever God or Goddess existed that they would both be okay on their own.

Evergreen eyes sweeping across the dark, midnight shrouded home Madison had missed so much, her attention was drawn to something written on the wall in the living room. At first, she thought the boys had been messing around again; but as she walked inside the room, her blood ran cold.

In crimson, bold letters, the writing on the wall read: "Found you! :)"

Oh, crap.

"Zuriel? Aarin? Vee?" She called out one by one, racing upstairs. Madison nearly sobbed in relief when Aarin stepped into the hall, their magnificent halo casting a spotlight onto their freckled face.

"Where's Zuriel?"

"Asleep. I- I just woke up."

"That's okay, baby," Madison sighed out, walking up to the small angel and wrapping them in a half-hug. "Go wake ZuZu up, and tell it that we're gonna go on a little road trip. Do that for me whilst I get Vee, okay?"

Aarin tilted their head, confused. "Is it because of the writing? Two people came in the other day, and- and they said they needed to talk to Dad."

"Who?"

"I'on know. A boy and a girl. They both have long hair, kinda like ZuZu's but a tiny bit shorter."

Madison cursed beneath her breath. Esrana and Madir.

"O-Okay, I'll look for Dad, you just get Zuriel up and pack some clothes, alrighty?"

"Okay!" Aarin squeezed Madison, before walking back into them and Zuriel's bedroom.

"Vanté? You here?" Striding tensely to Vanté's bedroom, she cracked open the door, flicking on the light. He wasn't there. The only thing that hinted that some sort of activity had taken place were the few drops of blood on his bedsheets.

"...Vee...?"

Taglist: none yet!

[inkwell-and-dagger]

my babygirl (she has a knife)

[inkwell-and-dagger]

Ring-Bound Notebook

Hey! Yeah, uh- you! Before you proceed, this written work may contain:

blood, torture, prolonged captivity, multiple whumpers, whumper-turned-whumpee, amputation, multiple failed escape attempts, immortal whumpee, potential re-living trauma??, impalement, phrase repetition, slight rescue / recovery whump at the end, suicidal ideation / thoughts

Vanté Ramirez, Vesker Faithern and Fletcher O'Harris belong to my wonderful mutual, @er0s-1s-whump1ng / @paranoia-exe!! go check him out!!!!

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Looking down at the bloodied notebook he'd resented for so long stuffed into his bedside table, Rayan sighed. He swore to never re-read the notebook, reluctant to live out the years of captivity he went through, but.. he just couldn't handle it.

Vigorously snatching the notebook up, he flopped down onto his bed, drawing his knees up to his chest and wrapping bandaged arms around them. He despised how the damned thing felt so right in his hands; it fit in his grasp perfectly, cold and familiar.

He'd never admit it, but it took him a while to even start the first page, let alone open the notebook itself. He just stared at the cover, at the stickers — worn down with time, scratched or even peeling and ripped— caked in dried blood. His dried blood.

But eventually, to his own dismay, his finger clasped tighter around the notebook, and with strangely baited breath he flicked open to the first page. It seemed as though a nice little trip down memory lane was in order.

Zayn never exactly had a purpose for a notebook. Ring bound with multiple stickers he'd collected during their childhood stuck onto the cover, he just didn't know what to do with it. The useless thing was just.. laying around; plus, he had a diary of his own now. Esrana told him to give it to "the thing in the basement". And her reasoning behind giving it to Rayan? It was because both of them were useless. Great.

"Hey. I've got this for you. Es told me to hand it to you since I don't need it. It'll keep you occupied!" Rayan distinctly remembered Zayn telling him that before setting the notebook down in front of him, his soft Welsh accent ringing pleasantly in his ears.

Alas, Zayn handed it to Rayan during one of their visits, along with two pens. One's ink was in black, the other was in blue, since the former didn't know which colour he preferred. Looking back, it seemed to Rayan that he preferred blue, and the black pen he must've used to doodle and scribble in the margin of each page or wherever else he could fit it.

They promised to give Rayan new pens whenever they ran out and, as usual, he stuck to it; not once did Rayan see even a hint of the ink on either of the pens running dry.

The first few pages were worn and torn, some having been ripped out entirely. The ones that weren't were filled with notes in Zayn's unusually neat script about god knows what — from his time in school to his mother and Esrana, from simple reminders to full paragraphs of rambles. Rayan didn't have the heart to judge them, even now.

A couple pages after, and it was the start of Rayan's own ramblings. Oh, how Rayan dreaded this moment.

He set the notebook down in his lap, evergreen eyes skimming over the pages.

Date: ?

Time: ?

I don't know how this is meant to benefit me. Sure, the notebook's nice and all, I like it. I don't know. There's not much I can write in here, since my captivity isn't very special. I guess I can just I think nevermind. I'll just ramble about fuck all.

I hate this place. I can hardly sleep because I keep hearing footsteps from the floor above this fucking basement. I don't know how many of them there are. I know about the guy with the bat, and the one who keeps staring at me and who I've never really seen blinking yet, and the girl who's Zayn's sister. That's all. I swear there's more of them, though.

I can't be sure. But, at least Zayn gives me food and also gave me a blanket and some pillows so I can sleep. Sure, the ground isn't comfortable, but I can somewhat lay on the pillows, which is good enough. Totally not as if my back hurts already and this is just making it worse. Totally not. Why am I even mad at Zayn?

I'm gonna try and sleep. Emphasis on try. Everything hurts.

"God's sake.." Rayan mumbled hoarsely, pinching the bridge of his nose. He had to admit, that one wasn't all bad. But, he knew worse was to come.

He flicked over to the next page.

Date: ? sometime in October (Zayn told me)

Time: ?

There's more of them. It's- this is ridiculous. Fucking Ezra???

I can't believe he'd side with them. Hell, I don't know what to say anymore. Fuck this shit.

I also keep getting hurt by the bat guy; their names Foster, apparently. I don't wanna explain what they did with that stupid fucking bat of theirs, other than they hit me somewhere on the back and it really hurts because they screwed fucking nails into the bat. I hate this.

I don't even know what I did wrong.

Rayan scoffed. "'I don't even know what I did wrong', my ass.."

His attention turned to the next page. A little more blood was splattered across the paper, and there were obvious signs he'd been crying when he wrote this.

Date: ?

Time: ?

Everything fucking hurts. More and more of them keep coming down and torturing me and hurting me and I'm just sick of this shit. I can't get even a moment of fucking peace anymore. What did I do?

He was surprised how short this one was. He couldn't remember why he had cut it so short in the first place.

The next page.

Date:

Time:

Oh my god. Oh my god. Fuck. He- Holy shit.

I can't even fucking what the fuck. It hurts so bad. Fuck. Okay. I need to calm down.

Oh, no.

Rayan flicked to the next page with shaking hands.

Date:

Time:

Writing this whilst Zayn bandages me up. I'm so tired. So much has been going on.

Madir, he. He cut off my fucking leg. I had tried to escape by attacking Foster and getting out of the basement, and I was so fucking close when Madir got me (Madir's the one who keeps staring. I don't know what his problem is). Then.. I don't even wanna remember.

The torture's been getting worse. Esrana threw me out a window at one point. They've also found out that, despite me being immortal, I can somewhat die if they slit my throat. They keep doing it, and from what I understand they play some sort of game where they compete and the winner is the person who keeps me "dead" for the longest. So far, I think Ezra has.

I should've never started killing people. I've already served my time in prison, and now this? I don't deserve this I think I deserve it, though.

Next page, and this time Rayan had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from tearing up.

Date:

Time:

There's so much blood. The floor is stained with it, my restraints are stained with it, Hell, even my bed. Thankfully, Zayn let me out of the restraints so I can write.

I swear, this is the only thing I can rely on to not lose my fucking mind. The smell of blood and.. other stuff is intoxicating, I hate it. I hate this. I hate Esrana, and Foster, and Zayn, and Madir, and Ezra, and Fletcher— God, fucking Fletcher! We were friends! And now he just watches me waste away here?!

I've felt too sick to eat and sleep. I don't care anymore. I doubt people even remember me. I hope Maddie's okay. And Vee. And.. I don't know. Who do I have?

I'm gonna try and escape. I can't walk, given my leg from the thigh down is missing, but.. whatever. I'll manage.

Next page. This one seemed more recent.

Date:

Time:

It didn't work as well as the other times. There's a fucking- I don't what it is, but it's stuck in my other leg and practically keeping me impaled and pinned onto the floor. It hurts so bad.

I've given up trying to fight by now. I just want to make it stop. I wish I could die. I wish I never existed. I wish I never began killing people. I wish I could kill myself.

I deserve this.

Rayan's spare hand ran over his prosthetic leg, sighing. He never realized how much he himself had suffered. It all felt unreal. It's why he thought about it as if it were just a story, or a silly nightmare. Everything was silly at this point.

He flicked past the other pages, skimming through them, until one near the end of the notebook caught his eyes. Reading cautiously, he placed his chin on his hand and couldn't help but notice his handwriting was more neat. And no blood was splattered on the page.

Date: 26/10

Time: 3:26 PM

It's my birthday! I forgot how old I am. I'm in the hospital right now, I think. It's a long story, but I'm alone right now, save for Maddie sleeping and Vee idly talking to me. I've got plenty of time.

The Survivors got arrested. I escaped from the police - they scare me, okay? I thought they were gonna hurt me - and went to god-knows-where. I stayed homeless for a time, occasionally couch surfing or staying at a new friend's house. She's called Evelyn. She's nice.

Anyway. Maddie and Vee eventually found me, and took me home and then (after seeing how shitty I looked) took me to the hospital instead. It's been a funny couple of days, especially with me learning that these doctors don't want to hurt me and that the things being put into my body won't harm me, but.. at least I'm free. They're gonna get me a prosthetic soon.

I get to see Vesk again. I get to see Theo. And Maddie's fiance, Vivian. Maddie's reluctant to invite me to the wedding, since she knows I need time to recover, but I can tell she really does want to.

Something feels wrong, though. That I don't deserve to rest. I keep imagining restraints around me. I keep hearing them laugh. I keep.. nevermind. It's fine, though.

I don't think I'm gonna be sharing what's in this notebook. It's better to keep it a secret. I don't want people worrying about me more than they already are. Especially Maddie.

Maddie's waking up, I think. I'm home now. I think. I'm gonna be okay now. I think. I don't know. I hope so.

Rayan suddenly glanced up as he heard his bedroom door creak open, squinting up at Vanté. He was a mere silhouette against the absurdly bright hallway light. The notebook slammed shut.

"Hi, Vee." They both grinned.

"Hey," The demon responded, his deep voice rumbling pleasantly in Rayan's ears. "Mum's called you down three times, cause we're going out for dinner today. She said you can bring Tadhg if you want to, too. You coming?"

He chuckled, getting up with a soft groan and setting his notebook down, grabbing a jacket as he spoke. "Yeah, yeah, I'll be down in a sec. Is this—" he gestured to his outfit— "too flashy?"

"Of course not," Vanté waved off his question with a smile. "It's perfect."

"Oh, hush."

Both of them couldn't help but laugh. Vanté's diamond eyes glanced downwards, noticing the notebook. "What's that?"

"Huh-? Oh, that?" Rayan chuckled nervously, quickly shoving the book under his pillow. "Just a uh- a thing."

The demon didn't respond directly, but gave him a knowing smile. Rayan had an inkling the demon had experienced something similar to what he himself was feeling.

Before the silence could get more uncomfortable than it already was, the demon grabbed the immortal's hand and dragged him out of the room, earning a surprised laugh from the latter. "Come on, lazy ass. Don't bother getting platforms, it's a long walk.

"Awwhh, we're not driving there?"

"It's not that bad, kid."

"Hey- I'm not a kid!"

"You are to me!"

They both laughed. Maybe life wasn't that bad after all.

—> —> —> —> —> —>

[inkwell-and-dagger]

I fell asleep imagining a later chapter in htkai...... madir n es are besties...... they're so cool.......

[inkwell-and-dagger]

just thought of what my ocs would taste like if they were edible so I thought I'd just put some of them here

Ailean — floral perfume when you accidentally spray it into your mouth

Rayan — rotting meat probably. it suits him

Ruaridh — c h e m i c a l s

Madison — a warm cup of tea

Ezra — tequila

Foster — blood probably

Esrana — red wine

Madir — metal

Aarin — water

Zuriel — salt water

Kore — f o g. I will not elaborate much but fog looks like it'd have a distinct taste and it is kore

uhh I think that's all of them. I can't think of one for zayn or any others I forgor :c

[inkwell-and-dagger]

[Beat Me Till I'm Bloody And Bruised.]

A/N: RAYAN'S BACK BITCHEESSSSSS WOOO INTENSE ROCK MUSIC!!! as always, Vanté belongs to the man, myth and legend himself, @er0s-1s-whump1ng!!

CW: captivity whump, immortal whumpee, mention / implication of amputation whump, multiple whumpers, perhaps interrogation?, violence / kinda gore?

—> —> —> —> —> —>

Rayan didn't know how long he'd been curled up like this. With rope bound wrists close to his chest, a bruised knee resting against the wall as his spine curled awkwardly. It was.. eerily comfortable, despite the putrid smell of blood and decay surrounding him; evermore reminding him of where he was, and who he was with. Of the monsters who trapped him in this godforsaken basement.

And the worst part was, he didn't know how much time had passed since he'd last been outside, since there were no clocks to tell the time or even fill the silence with their repetitive, soothing ticking sound. The last time he'd seen Madison. Or Vanté. Or talked to Theo. Or bonded with his own son. The only things he had to keep him occupied were his notebook, the now bloodied blanket Zayn had given to him the first time he'd been captured, and his own voice.

And, of course, his captors. Rayan despised every one of them. Everything about Madir, from his unwavering, uncanny gaze to what he did to him, and now he had a discarded prosthetic on the other side of the room to prove that what he did wasn't just some sick nightmare, made his blood boil with resentment. He didn't even do anything to Esrana — the immortal hadn't even met her until Foster introduced her as their cousin — and the fact that she hated him just as much as the others made him.. he didn't even know. He doubted he could feel much other than pain anymore.

Rayan's train of thought was interrupted as the door to the basement, scratched and bloodied, opened with a creak that made him wince, and he had no time to react as he was pulled to his feet by the rope on his wrists. The weakened immortal could only watch as his wrists were suspended over his head, attached by rope to a hook on the ceiling. His gaze focused, and his eyes narrowed at the grinning figure before him. Esrana.

"Speak of the devil," Rayan murmured with a tone full of resentment.

But his captor just chuckled in response, turning her back to him and picking up her cousin's bloodied bat. "I'm no devil, immortal."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever. What do you want from me?"

"I'm not sure. I'm bored, and I want to hurt you."

He raised an eyebrow. That wasn't anything new. "You wish you could kill me, though, huh?"

Esrana sighed. "Yes. It seems you know me too well now."

"I really don't," Rayan responded with a scowl. "You can't kill me with anything you lot have."

"I know."

"...But, you could, in another way, if you want to risk it."

"I do want to. We all do. How?"

Rayan decided to mess with her. He knew it'd only lead to him getting hurt, but right now he didn't care. He would much rather dodge the question, now that he'd mistakenly brought it up. "Well.. uhm.."

"Spit it out." She hissed, clutching Foster's bat tighter in her gloved hand.

"We- Well, hold on, let me think about i—"

The bat clattered to the ground, interrupting him, and a sharp cry broke through the air as a punch landed against his chest, sending him swaying on his feet. Esrana sneered. "Say it!"

"O-Okay! That—" Rayan coughed, bowing his head and hissing as an aching pain flared up in his chest. "That sapphire serum, thing, that Vanté has. What- Whatever it is, it's the only thing that can make him die, and he's immortal. I'm immortal, too, so why don't you get that and try it on me? It's what you want."

Esrana let out a scoff, crossing her arms. "I- I doubt that'd work. Vanté is a demon, he's entirely non-human, he is not from this- this, realm. You two are entirely different. You're.."

"What? Human?"

"No-"

"Then what am I that makes me so different from humans, but nothing non-human? Like what you believe, I am from this realm. Like what you believe, I am entirely 'normal'." Rayan's expression hardened, gaze clouded with a gradually growing sense of anger. "Other than the fact I cannot truly, eternally die, by yours and Foster's standards I am entirely human. So, specifically, what am I, if I'm not human and not a supernatural or otherwise non-human creature?"

"...You're heartless, a- a selfish monster."

The immortal just glared, though the expression was weak and veiled by bloody bruises. "That's still not very specific."

With blinding speed, Esrana picked the bat back up and swung it at his unprotected torso, and Rayan couldn't help but let out a strained cry that bounced off the bloodied walls of the basement. Another hit came, bringing tears to Rayan's eyes as the nails screwed into the wood grazed and ripped across his bare flesh.

"Pathetic," She spat, twirling the bat in her hand before hitting Rayan's leg. He lost his footing, the rope straining to keep him aloft as he groaned in pain.

"Fuck you, Esrana."

"You say my name as if it's an insult."

"It is!"

Esrana's eyes flashed with anger, unwinding the rope and letting Rayan drop to the ground, before picking the bat up once more. The last thing Rayan saw was a bat swinging at his face, and Esrana's expression twisted with rage.

—> —> —> —> —> —>

[inkwell-and-dagger]

Whumptober Day 19 Alternative Prompt: Betrayal.

A/N: teeny continuation of this Whumptober!!

Characters:

— Zayn Flynn (Caretaker) he/they

— Esrana Flynn (Whumper) she/her

—> —> —> —> —> —>

"You.. You what?" Esrana questioned incredulously. Crap. With her usually soft gaze gone, replaced with a harsh glare, she removed her hands from Zayn's shoulders. "You called the cops on us?!"

Zayn reluctantly nodded, attempting to stand his ground even as his voice came out weak and small. "I had to. I— I couldn't let what you were doing to Rayan go on, it was horrible. Plus, he had—"

"Oh, don't start with your sympathy bullshit, Zayn!" She snapped at her brother through gritted teeth. "It deserved everything that we did to it. If it didn't want— this, to happen, then it shouldn't have started killing people all those years ago, huh."

"You don't understand—"

"Oh, I fucking understand!"

Zayn flinched and went silent, eyes wide. He just wanted her to hear them out. But it seemed as though she wasn't intent on doing that.

"...I'll drop you off at Mum's. I'm staying the night somewhere else. Where the cops won't find me. Got it?"

"Got it.."

Zayn already regretted calling the cops. Now, most of his friends were gone, and they didn't doubt for a moment his relationship with his own sister would be rocky from now on. But, he had saved Rayan...

At least he'll be going back home. Real home. Not— Not Foster's house, or Madir's weird cabin, or— or even, at times, Madison's warm and calming home. They'll be going home.

He just wished he hadn't sacrificed— well, everything, in the process.

—> —> —> —> —> —>

[allergic-to-four-leaf-clovers]

[Full Character Summaries: Forsaken Souls]

Feel free to send asks about them!!

(tw for alcoholism, uhh- just mentions of torture and murder and whatnot, y'know we ballin)

Character Summary 1: Rayan Hyacinth (he/it)

Rayan Cruz Hyacinth, although his birth name is Cora Cruz Maguire, is an ex-serial murderer and an immortal man stuck in his mid 30's. He is described to be slightly egocentric and very irritable, though sometimes these prominent traits are underlined by the way he acts when in the captivity of a group of his surviving victims, quite fittingly titled The Survivors.

Rayan has two known siblings; Madison Maguire, and Theo Hyacinth. Madison is the eldest daughter, Theo close behind, leaving Rayan as the youngest sibling. They are all originally from Dublin, Ireland.

Rayan stands at 5'9, with outgrown, dark brown hair styled to sweep over his right eye. He is transgender but has no dysphoria from his chest, and as such he embraces his feminine figure. He has green eyes and an accumulation of scars, mostly across his neck, back, stomach, chest and thighs. However, there is one scar across his right eye, where he had nearly been blinded. He has a lip piercing and multiple piercings on his ears, and a tattoo across his neck of a dotted like with the text "cut here" underneath. He also has a prosthetic leg, since his right leg was cut off by one of his torturers.

As previously mentioned, Rayan is immortal and an ex-serial killer. He has the ability to regenerate alarmingly quickly depending on the severity of the wound. However, there is one known way to somewhat kill him, through slitting his throat, in which he will come back after a couple of hours.

Character Summary 2: Foster Canavan (they/them)

Foster Zephyr Canavan is the creator and leader of The Survivors, and was one of Rayan's victims. They are in their late 20's, and are described to mainly be charismatic, though they're cruel toward Rayan, their past torturer and now victim.

They have no known siblings, nor do they have any parents on record; although they do have cousins, Esrana and Zayn Flynn. They changed their name to Foster after coming out as non binary, but nobody knows their birth name. They originated in Worcester, United Kingdom, and have a rather strong and deep accent.

They stand at 5'4, with black hair commonly slicked back or parted. They have heterochromia, their right eye being grey and their left eye being a light blue colour. They have multiple scars across their face and neck, along with larger ones on their back, and have a septum, eyebrow and a "snake bite" piercing.

Character Summary 3: Esrana Flynn (she/her)

Esrana Amara-Ivy Flynn, who is about 27 years old, is Foster's cousin and the co-leader of The Survivors. She is usually described to be sly and judging, though sometimes can be more affectionate and gentle with the others, especially her younger brother. Sometimes. When she isn't being soft, she demands a lot from the members of the group, her previously mentioned brother being the one she most frequently pressures.

As previously discussed, she has a younger brother, and both of them are the cousins of Foster Canavan. Her mother was a single parent, though the three of them got on with day-to-day life well, and had a relaxed childhood for the most part. She was born in Leeds, United Kingdom, though had moved around a lot and eventually settled in Redditch.

She stands at 5'10, with dark, olive skin and black hair she frequently leaves down, letting it fall down her back and shoulders in curls. She has brown eyes and full lips, yet has a father masculine physique. She has no scars because, unlike the rest of the members, neither she or her brother had actually interacted with Rayan prior to the group being created.

Character Summary 4: Zayn Flynn (he/they)

Zayn Felix Flynn is Foster's cousin and the younger brother of Esrana Flynn, currently only 19 years old. He is the nicest of the group, described to be compassionate and caring toward all of his peers, which is what gave him the job to be Rayan Hyacinth's caretaker during the immortal's captivity. Despite his sister demanding him to do so, he can never bring himself to hurt or re-capture Rayan.

As just said, Esrana is Zayn's sister, and Foster is their cousin. Zayn had been adopted by their mother when Esrana was eight years old, despite them looking somewhat similar. As far as they are concerned, Zayn cannot remember much of their childhood vividly. He has a slight Welsh accent, so he just assumes and says that he originated in Wales.

Zayn has slightly lighter skin than Esrana but they still remain similar nonetheless; his being an olive brown whereas his sister's is sepia toned. He has dark, amber eyes and soft features, and stands at around 5'2-5'3. He doesn't have any major scars, but has some burn marks across his arm from an incident during Rayan's captivity.

Character Summary 5: Ezra Hendrix (he/xem/they)

Ezra Atticus Hendrix is a member of The Survivors who had unfortunately lost his brother to the immortal. He is described to be energetic and bubbly, being the most lively of the group. Despite this, the 23 year old is just as cruel toward Rayan as Foster is, but at least he cares enough to patch Rayan up afterwards. Sometimes.

As previously mentioned, Ezra had an older brother, named Rome Felix Hendrix, who unfortunately passed away when Rayan had tortured and killed him. Xe, hoping to avenge xir dead brother, joined The Survivors after xe was introduced to it. Both xem and xir brother were born in Houston, Texas.

They have pale, ivory toned skin, and dyed red hair styled into a mullet. They have blue eyes and freckles, and stand at around 6'0, making them the tallest. They also have a tattoo on their face of an upside down cross between their eyebrows, and have multiple more tattoos across their body, along with dagger ear piercings. They mostly have scars across their arms and chest, some on their thighs and one on their lip.

Character Summary 6: Madir Ahearn (he/him)

Madir Echard Ahearn is the oldest member of The Survivors, and the most brutal when it comes to torturing Rayan; though he does so rarely. He's described to be closed off and cold, yet sadistic in the face of putting others in pain. He's in his late 30's to early 40's, give or take.

Madir was an only child and dealt with an alcoholic father and a mother who wasn't always there, and so due to their parenting he blocked contact with them as best as he could, which led him to disgust the sight of alcohol (to the dismay of Ezra). He was born in Munich, Germany.

He has sienna toned skin and green-hazel eyes, his hair a dull brown brown and streaked with grey and white due to having Poliosis. He stands close to Ezra's height at only 5'11. His right arm had to be amputated as he damaged it beyond repair whilst escaping from Rayan, so he has a prosthetic as a substitute for the missing limb. He has a tattoo sleeve on his arm along with a semi-colon tattoo, and has a stud piercing on his left ear, along with a lip piercing. He has small scars on his arms and biceps, along with his back and sides.