#especially with the rise in posts I’ve seen about authors wanting reblogs | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

therealvinelle · 3 years

Note

You've said before that you think Meyer is a good writer. I'm neutral to her myself but you're the first person in the fandom to say that that I've seen and I was wondering what your reasons were.

Sure thing.

First of, some referential links. In this post I explain why I like Meyer’s worldbuilding, and in this one I explain (in the last reblog - you can get away with skipping the previous posts) why I think her character creation is well done, and in this one I talk about why I like Twilight in the first place, though that post got a bit off-topic.

So, let me first do the disclaimer that I do not think Meyer is perfect.

Her greatest flaw, I’d say, is that what she intends to write isn’t always what ends up on page. Edward is for instance supposed to be the ideal man, chivalrous and the very antithesis of toxic masculinity. His relationship with Bella is supposed to be a love story on part with all the classics. Jacob, too, is intended as a dreamboat. Alice is the ideal BFF, Rosalie is the bitchy Regina George, Esme is the ultimate mother, and all the Cullen relationships are wonderfully happy. Aro is supposed to be a sinister villain and the Volturi are all corrupt.

Now, all of the above is how Bella perceives things, and I’m all for unreliable narrators. All narrators are, to a point, unreliable, and inferring things from fiction is one of my favorite things to do (as you can probably tell if you’ve been following this blog). However, so far as I can tell Meyer didn’t intend for Bella to have no clue what’s going on at any given time.

As it happens, I also think this is one of her strengths. This woman is living on a different planet, her mind is on a level I can’t follow at all, only spectate in silent wonder. What I’m saying is, no author in their right mind would write Twilight. No one would write Edward as delightfully unhinged as he is, for starters, not without toning him down significantly (just look at how the movies toned him down). To say nothing of how Bella would be a much more functional person, and in turn much less interesting. Aro would be an actual villain, and Twilight as a whole would not be so overwhelmingly bleak.

Her strengths come through in that she’s consistent about it, and while she interprets things differently than I do, she is still the creator of this bizarre universe and one who knows it intimately well. Does she think Edward is great, yes. Did she also write Midnight Sun without pulling any punches, also yes.

I’d put it this way, the flaw of hers that I’m trying to get at is that she creates this rich and horrifying universe and gets full credit from me for that, but she views it through rose-tinted glasses. Which in turn leads to some interesting writing and plotting decisions.

She has one other significant flaw that comes to mind. She’s not good at cutting things.

This goes for both scenes and plotlines. There’s a lot of filler in these books, from Bella making enchiladas in Twilight, to New Moon taking far too long in Jake’s garage and with Bella’s depression before things start happening again, to Breaking Dawn being 2/3rds filler (the wedding, honeymoon, and vampire euphoria especially come to mind.) There’s a lot of stuff in these books that weren’t necessary to the plot. The Host suffer from this as well.

To say nothing of the bigger things she should have cut, like Jake’s involvement in Breaking Dawn. He’d played out his part, Bella chose to become everything he hated, we were done. The book had more than enough story with Renesmée and the Volturi happening, and Jake’s involvement only served to lower the book’s overall quality. And introduce a pedophilic storyline, which, Meyer no.

Then there are decisions she made where I would have chosen differently, such as Bella returning to Forks at the end of New Moon.

However, this all being said, I am a very difficult person to please. Meyer was never going to tick all my boxes, and while I have points of contention with her, my overall impression is a positive one.

(Just to stress how difficult I am to please: I read Good Omens a few days ago. I liked it very much, but it wasn’t perfect. Shadwell, Madame Tracy, Newt Pulcifer and the Them could all have been cut, for starters.

I’m too critical of everything, and it’s not just Meyer that I think should have cut significant parts of their respective stories and made them into something fundamentally different.)

So, now that I’ve torn her apart, what do I like about her? What, for that matter, do I think constitutes a good writer?

To list a few things I like about her as a writer:

She’s good at writing Her prose is very good, her characters are interesting and engaging people, she’s very good at establishing a scene or a character, and she’s evocative. Her prose never bores me, and it makes me feel things.

She has good ideas Self-explanatory, really. Her lore is extremely original, her characters are interesting, and she comes up with great backstories and worldbuilding. The Southern Wars, for instance, brilliant.

She’s consistent She’s described this herself - she doesn’t get to decide what her characters do, sometimes they do things she very much does not want them to do and she’s quite put out about it. And that, I think, is the key to why her characterization is so consistent - she doesn’t do that dreaded thing where the author forces a character to do what they must to force the plot along, like cramming a square through a triangular hole, she just lets her characters decide for themselves. As her characters are already delightful people, this works out beautifully (Edward conspiring with Jacob that they should forcibly abort Bella’s baby so Jake can then impregnate her comes to mind. Or Aro, whom she views as a powerhungry maniac, showing up at the battleground and being absolutely devastated about that fact.) as they never do anything they wouldn’t do, and their characterization does not change from one book to another. (Counterexample: look at how Kylo Ren in The Rise of Skywalker turns towards the light when we’re closing in on the end of the movie. It’s unconvincing, to say the least, and runs contrary to what has previously been established about him. The movie does not bother to explain why this happens now, what it is that’s so special about one chat with Han and a duel with Rey that makes him turn his life around, nor why it couldn’t have happened sooner. He is redeemed because the trilogy is nearly over, not because it made sense for his character.)

Her plotting is generally good Her plots make sense, I’m invested in them, and they’re reasonably adapted to her characters’ power levels (The clusterfuck that was the Department of Mysteries showdown in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is an example of the antithesis of that).

Of these virtues, I’d place the most emphasis on Meyer’s writing and character creation.

As for what makes a good writer…

It’s difficult for me to pin down.

It’s chiefly whether I think their writing is good, and that means prose, characters, and plot. As Meyer fulfills all of these three, that puts her in my “good writer” box. She’s not perfect, but she has earned her place as a published author.

More, I enjoy reading her books and care about the story and characters she creates. This is a matter of personal preference, but I’m down for what she’s putting out. It would be disingenuous for me to do that and then say “... but of course, she’s a terrible writer”, in part because I feel that’s become a bit of a disclaimer when it comes to Meyer. It’s like the Emperor’s New Clothes. Stephenie Meyer is a bad writer, everyone knows that, if you think otherwise you have bad taste. She has written things, I’ve enjoyed them all, and I’m giving her full credit for that.

#long post #twilight #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #stephenie meyer

136 notes · View notes

karliesbuzzcut · 4 years

Text

So I don’t know how you guys feel about the ‘Realistic Kaylor Timeline’ that’s been doing the rounds on this corner of the internet. I’m guessing some of you might feel conflicted, others might strongly disagree with some parts of it - but do not worry. I’m here to tell you how to feel about it: you love it. Because it’s mandatory to love anything that can get such a feral reaction out of TTB.

Today I’m bringing you

Top 7 Moments from TTB vs. Swiftiesleuth 2020

Fair wairning: I’m going to be very biased - I’ve not made my adoration for @swiftiesleuth a secret at all.

1. TTB’s grand entrance. LLLLLET’S GET READY TO TUMBLRRRRR!

Her disjointed sentences already let you know she’s a bit shaken “FAKE NEWS! The author admits they do not have inside knowledge like I do! I have all the inside knowledge, they only have outside knowledge, which ew - it’s muddy outside, and there’s bugs.”

2. Married people don’t ‘bonk’ - they make respectful and dignified love to each other. Preferably from opposite sides of the room.

My favourite was definitely when she said “if you’re a queer woman then you should really think about how you talk”. I vote for unpacking this one.

That ‘if’ - because of course, TTB has to perform a background check on you before she allows you to join The Gays.

That ‘should’. Please, TTB, complete that thought for us. Why is it that, as a queer woman, swiftiesleuth should do something in particular? You are not implying that she has to be especially careful about her words because she’s queer, right? I mean, you wouldn’t 😱 you’re a Social Justice Warrior after all.

TTB doesn’t like to be called “dude” either:

Which is why I suggest we all start calling her ‘Our Dude’. She will be our collective dude. And we can all be her little Dudes! It’ll be delightful, I’m telling ya.

3. In the year of our lord 2020, TTB decides it’s a good idea to pull the “I can’t be racist; my best friend is black” - but make it Jewish.

On this one I want to take a bit of a more serious tone, so I’ll limit myself to only one fart joke. I had no idea there were circumstances in which you couldn’t say you ‘converted’ to Judaism. I genuinely love that this seemingly silly passtime of mine actually teaches me new things. Now, I’m going to take a wild-ass guess and say TTB didn’t know that either... but more on this coming up.

Right now, let’s all rejoice at her choice of saying “I have facts” and right afterwards “Kaylor is likely already married”.

Kaylor, the sole entity, is married.

4. TTB tells herself “You know what? I haven’t been racist enough today”

At this point, TTB has become a cautionary tale about what happens to a person when they get married to an idea. It’s genuinely scary for me to think that my brain could trick me to such an extent that I could no longer process information that contradicts my beliefs. Just imagine it, there’s something about someone else’s religion that doesn’t make sense to you, and you decide to draw your conclusions from there. Okay, cool. Then someone from said religion explains that thing that didn’t make sense. And your reaction isn’t “oh, I maybe I should think about that, this person clearly knows more than me about this particular subject”. No. Your reaction instead is “I am entitled to my beliefs”

ISN’T THAT TERRIFYING!?

But more importantly... Isn’t that fucking racist? Wait... what? You are saying that isn’t racist enough? You think TTB should’ve also said that people don’t get to be offended by a word ‘only because it has been used as a slur in the past’? And then suggest to the person who asked her not to use that word - a person who is directly affected by that kind of bigotry - to get a dictionary? Nooo, come on, that’d be overkill. We are not trying to build a cartoon villain here!

5. Whaler and TTB are disappointed parents.

Truly emps, how dare you have a mind of your own. We raised you better than that!

I loooove that this day and age a fucking reblog means unconditional support to the author of the post... I’d watch that Black Mirror episode.

6. Both swiftiesleuth & TTB leave the chat with a motherfucking BANG.

I thought that I had hit comedy nirvana when Swiftiesleuth asked if her LGBTQ flavour bothered TTB and I thought no way in hell would TTB respond to that. BUT SHE DID. Aren’t you glad to be alive to witness that? “I have no knowledge of your flavour” she says. Well, TTB, I have no knowledge of Swiftiesleuth’s flavour either, but I’m working on fixing that *double winky face*

BUT TTB was like “talking about someone’s flavour isn’t hilarious enough, let’s leave this conversation with my best material”. And reminded us all of the percentage of black people she has working for her. I wonder if she decided to do the maths right after assembling her team or after she realised she could use it as an argument. Either way, super normal behaviour.

Also, also. I’d love to know what she considers a minority “well... Gerald has a pet snake... that should bring my minority percentage up by a couple points”

7. Special guests!

You wouldn’t be able to tell by how late to the party I was, but this was a big event here on Tumblr. Everybody was there... I’m told. Because I already feel like I’ve been working on this post for the past decade, I’ll keep it short and cute.

In one corner we have whaler and swift-79,

Obligatory bulletpoint list about all the things I loved about this post:

It wasn’t enought that TTB questioned swiftiesleuth’s queerness. Whaler said “fuck it - I’m questioning this bitch’s name as well” “Nat?” “you don’t look like a Nat” “but if you insist on identifying yourself as a Nat...” “I’ll put it in air quotes though”

I’m sorry... “If we are judging from pictures”? Isn’t that all that Kaylors do in 2020? No. No. I’m sorry. You guys also have emojis, sorry!

“Even Enty has questions about his sexuality” 😱 What? Enty? A blog dedicated to posting a constant stream of celebrity gossip once said that someone, somewhere, might be gay? No! 😱

I think swiftiesleuth was accused again of working for Scooter? Conspiracy Theorists are so adorably predictable, every time anyone disagrees with them (worse if that person seems to have done some research) somebody has to yell “they’re working for the enemy!”

Anyway, time for our final guest: the lovely @youlooklikebadnews , who I could’ve asked to write this whole post for me because they definitely did a better job than me at summarising the whole thing. But not only that, they were lucky enough to get a response from TTB.

...At this point I’m fairly certain that I’ll get invited to a Secret Session before TTB ever acknowledges my existence.

Doesn’t this read like what the villain says at the end of a shitty movie? Teasing a sequel and everything?

“You have not seen the last of TTB! I’ll be back with more proof and no copyright issues! KARLIE AND TAYLOR WILL RISE! Then you will see! YOU WILL ALL SEE!”

*flourishes cape and disappears into the night*

#ttb i love you #but not as much as i love swiftiesleuth #sorry

83 notes · View notes

wordgirlappreciation · 4 years

Text

Wordgirl Fanfic Recommendations Masterlist

Thanks for 250 followers, guys! I appreciate you all very much!

At long last, here it is! A full compilation of my personal favorite Wordgirl fics! All fics are complete and in English. Please don’t forget to reblog and review to support fanfiction writers!

Additionally, this blog will post and promote all fanfiction links submitted to it.

Wordgirl & Doctor Two Brains

Title: The Doctor Is In | Author: otempora16 | Words: 23k | Rated K+

Becky Botsford may be an alien, but she's never had any trouble living on Earth - until she's struck with a bizarre disease that no human doctor can cure. Only one person has studied Lexiconians enough to have any hope of saving her. Unfortunately, he's trapped deep within his own mind, under the control of a malevolent mouse...

This is the best Wordgirl fic I’ve ever read. It hits everything I wanted to see from this show--the bond between Wordgirl and Dr. Two Brains, Dr. Two Brains struggling against his own darkest impulses--coupled with fantastic writing and pacing. Everyone is in character while balancing a more sophisticated and darker tone. I’ve read this one at least five times.

Title: Awake in the Night | Author: Laura Latts | Words: 10k | Rated: K+

Two-Brains is fighting with himself again. The results? He's losing. But how could Steven be coming back from the supposed dead? And how can Wordgirl help him win before the sun rises?

Absolutely heartbreaking fanfic centered around Wordgirl’s relationship with Steven as Dr. Two Brains attempts to stifle him. Steven can only take control at night, and attempts to build a machine to separate himself from Squeaky, only for Two Brains to wake up and stop him every time. It’s brilliantly written, very in-character, and it just might make you feel.

Title: Much Abides | Author: otempora16 | Words: 3k | Rated K

Before she heads off to her first year of college, Wordgirl has a few loose ends to tie up. Oneshot. Sort-of sequel to "New and Subtle Shades."

Wordgirl’s last conversation with Two-Brains before leaving for college. Sweet and heartbreaking even if it could’ve gone a little deeper. Brief mentions of past Steven. As their last WG fic, it’s a nice send-off.

Wordgirl/Tobey (or Tobecky)

Title: New and Subtle Shades | Author: otempora16 | Words: 6k | Rated K+

Growing up is hard, and growing up a superhero is harder. But amidst all the stress and struggle of her freshman year of high school, Wordgirl starts to realize that support, friendship, and fun can be found in the most unexpected of places. Oneshot, focusing on an older Wordgirl's relationships with her villains.

Once again, the otempora16′s dialogue is on point. This fic focuses on WG’s relationship with The Butcher, Leslie, Dr. Two Brains, Chuck, and finally Tobey. It’s incredibly sweet and charming, and shows Wordgirl and Tobey in the earliest stages of a relationship in an entirely believable way. Also featuring Dr. Two Brains as an overprotective father figure.

Title: Green World | Author: otempora16 | Words: 3k | Rated K+

Becky Botsford's superhero duties have run her off her feet lately, and she knows she needs to crack down on schoolwork if she wants to finish junior year strong. But when warm summer breezes are blowing, the carnival is in town, and Tobey McCallister is standing outside her window ... well, some nights are just begging to be seized.

A fun and delightful fic of Becky and Tobey having a good time.

Title: From Good to Rotten | Author: Laura Latts | Words: 25k | Rated K+

After the amnesia ray, what if Two-Brains didn't forget everything? What if he was just waiting? Waiting for the perfect moment to get Wordgirl once and for all...

Dr. Two Brains remembers Wordgirl’s secret identity from a previous episode where it was revealed, and uses a special ray to turn her evil and use her to do his bidding. Highly interesting, and written in the style of the show (with a narrator, defined words, and a similar style of humor). Features the rest of the villains saving Wordgirl from herself and Dr. Two Brains being a bit of a jerk.

Title: Something Hidden | Author: HibiscusAngel15 | Words: 137k | Rated K+

Tobey just can't shake the feeling that Becky is WordGirl, no matter how many times he's been wrong before. The only question is of how to prove it.

Nothing to add. Just a great fic.

Title: Have You Seen My Robut? | Author: HibiscusAngel15 | Words: 3k | Rated K

Today was just not Tobey McCallister's day. After his latest robotic creation to help the city malfunctions and runs off on him, he's left with no choice but to work together with his nemesis WordGirl to find it. But how can the two even hope to work together, especially when she's a supervillain? An AU one-shot where Tobey and Becky's roles are reversed.

Interesting concept I’d love to see explored more. I’m always a sucker for Wordgirl as a villain, and Tobey as a hero was nice to see. Additionally, Wordgirl is the one with the crush on Tobey in this universe. I thought it stayed true to both characters and was well-written.

Title: Saving Tobey | Author: Night_N_Gail | Words: 92k | Rated: Gen

“I’m telling you, WordGirl, that kid is a time bomb. You think he’s a menace NOW? Wait until he’s a teenager and his emotions are running wild. Wait until he’s an adult and he’s not afraid of his mother anymore. It won't be pretty, I can promise you that." -:- Post-series

Slowburn relationship with Tobey gradually going over to the good side. First part of a three part series by the same author. I have not read the sequels, so I can’t recommend them, but if you like “Saving Tobey” give them a try.

Dr. Two Brains/Lady Redundant Woman

Title: A Provocloniversary | Author: Unbalanced Enigma | Words: 3k | Rated: K+

A Dr. Two Brains and Lady Redundant Woman fluffy one-shot taking place at a villain convention. It works off the assumption that they've already been an item for awhile, six months to be precise. The doctor wants to celebrate the events, but awkward and silly interruptions ensue. This features a wide variety. Rated K for a little suggestive romancing.

This fic is really cute and well-written. The characterization is spot-on for everyone and has plenty of humor. I especially enjoyed Tobey getting back at Two-Brains for the events of Mousezilla. As someone who did ship Provoclone back in the day, this fic is a definite recommend.

Dr. Two Brains, Squeaky, and Steven

Title: Descent Into Madness | Author: Laura Latts | Words: 1k | Rated: K+

No one really knew what happened. What he went through during the incident. What happened when Prof. Steven Boxleitner became Dr. Two-Brains?

An interesting exploration of the time between Steven’s “Oh no, this is going to sting” and him running into Becky and TJ. Short but dark and interesting.

Title: A Science Experiment Gone Horribly Wrong | Author: 3LNR | Words: 2k | Rated: K+

This fanfic is a detailed description of Steven's thoughts and feelings before, during, and after his fateful experiment. It includes Two Brains' and Squeaky's viewpoints as well. The day starts out very normally, but gradually becomes more creepy and intense as the story progresses. Rated K+ for somewhat disturbing but non-graphic content.

For a fic I wrote 6 years ago, I think it holds up pretty well. Give it a read if you’re a fan of Two Brains.

Title: When I Don’t Remember You | Author: 3LNR | Words: 3k | Rated K+

Dr. Two Brains goes on a mysterious trip to a place he had almost forgotten.

Another angsty fic I wrote six years ago, where Two Brains briefly reunites with Steven’s parents. It does not go well. Song title is inspired by the song of the same name from the series “Adventure Time”.

Title: Take Care of Them | Author: orphan_account | Words: 1k | Rated: Gen

After a stupid mistake, Two Brains and Steven have a heart to heart while Two Brains dies. (Squeaky dies too)

Sad fic in which Steven gets his freedom at the expense of Dr. Two Brains’ life. Short but memorable enough to earn a spot on the list.

Title: A Late Night Chat | Author: Donotquestionme | Words: 1-3k | Rated: Unknown

“Remember, whatever I say, don’t open this door until morning, got it?” The henchmen shuffled their feet anxiously. They never quite understood what went on behind that heavy, padlocked door, and they weren’t sure they wanted to. All they knew was that, every once in a while, their boss would lock himself in that room and, for the next few hours, muffled shouting could be heard coming from behind the door. Even stranger, sometimes they swore they could hear crying.

This might be the first WG fic I ever read, so it holds a special place in my heart. It was also written by someone with a fantastic ask blog that’s been on hiatus for years now (ask-dr-two-brains) who has a perfect grasp on the character. This fic is about the unanswerable question of whether Steven could bring himself to kill Two Brains if he had the chance to set himself free. I wish this person had written more, but it's fabulous nonetheless.

#wordgirl #dr. two brains #tobey mccallister #steven boxleitner #lady redundant woman #becky botsford #fanfic recommendation #fanfic recs #wordgirl fanfic #I might update this list if I find more I'd like to add

94 notes · View notes

holidaywishes · 4 years

Text

not all monsters do monstrous things...

Part 1: The Victor

Summary of Series: Delly Cartwright lost her best friend, Peeta, to the games. Now, the one that took him seems to have a soft spot for her.

Summary of Chapter: Cato wins the 74th Hunger Games but during his Victory Tour, he comes face to face with his actions. As well as a young girl who he can’t seem to get off his mind

Warning: Some fluff, some angst, some violence

Author’s Note: No, this was not requested but who cares. It’s my blog and I’ll write what I want 😂. I reblogged this post like a year ago about writing for Cato and Delly after reading something on FanFiction.net with them as a pairing but it didn’t conclude/continue and I wanted more. Thus, I’m writing my own take on Tumblr. I’m going to do my best to keep it has original as possible but there’s a chance I’ll use things from the story I read. So, any similarities to plot go to the original author of They Caught Fire from fanfic.net (go check it out, it’s pretty good!) Also, for some reason, there aren’t really any Cato/Hunger Games GIFs in the search bar so I found this on Google. Don’t @ me. I tried to find the owner but it wouldn’t bring me to the page. I’m not claiming it, just using it for this until I pick a graphic.

masterlist

the other masterlist

Cato’s P.O.V.

Seeing the look on the Mellark boy’s face as you pushed Katniss off the steel Cornucopia was supposed to make you happy. It meant you were the victor after all. Yet, as he stood in front of you, you could see the pain in his face. No trace of fear, just pain. He lost the girl he loved and you knew the feeling all too well. You took one step toward Peeta and he tilted his head slightly, as if to say I won’t fight you, before he jumped after The Girl On Fire.

“Ladies and Gentlemen!” The voice of Claudius Templesmith boomed through the arena as the mutts disappeared and you were left alone, “I am proud to present to you, your newest victor of the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games, Cato Berenger -- the tribute from District 2!” You watch as a hovercraft appears overhead and begins to descend into the arena, dropping a ladder for you to clutch onto and take you back to the Capitol. Whoever is there -- doctors, aids, Capitol attendants -- swarm you in preparation for the interview you’ll soon be having with Caesar Flickerman. You’ve been preparing for this your whole life, it was a priority at your parents Training Centre

“You win the games by sheer force and brute strength, fine. But it means nothing, nothing, if you can’t connect with the audience in those interviews. They have to love you. They have to respect you. You are their victor.” Your mothers words rung through your ears and you took a deep breath before your mentor found you and explained what was happening; you didn’t pay attention for most of it though, considering you already knew.

“Cato!” Wade, the former victor and your mentor, yelled to you, “are you listening to me?”

“I know what to do, Wade, I’ll be fine.” you sneered

“There’s something that you need to understand, boy,” he snaps back, forcing himself to block your path as you try to walk away, “the interview is one part of a thousand things that will happen within the next few months. The interview is easy, it’s fun even, it’s a celebration of you and your strength. That’s easy for us in Two, but the Victory Tour is where your world changes. Where you’ll realize what a monster you’ve become”

“I did what I had to, to survive!” you yelled

“WE ALL DID!” He shouted back, “but I’ve never quite seen someone as callous, as monstrous, as you. And neither has anyone in the districts you visit. They’ll stare blankly as you speak to them, cheering only when they fear their lives may be in danger, but they won’t appreciate your words. You killed their children, their families, their friends. You won’t deserve their kindness and they won’t show it to you. Especially not in the outer districts -- 11 and 12. Not after what you did to that little girl in 11 and 12′s precious ‘Girl on Fire.’ And after the tour is over, what comes of you? Nothing. Until you get to be in my position. A mentor for the next soldier who volunteers to sacrifice himself for President Snow.“ His words were venomous, you couldn’t deny that, but you didn’t understand why. Being a victor is all that we’d trained for in District Two, so why has he not been more grateful for his survival, you wondered. He notices the confusion on your face before continuing his ‘lesson,’ “You think being a victor is this wonderful life, right? Fancy houses and clothes, attention from the most beautiful girls in the District and glamourous parties in the Capitol; that’s what you imagine right?”

“I--”

“It’s like that for a while,” Wade interrupted you before you could finish your thought, “it is. And then you realize, you’re lonely. You’re completely alone. The shine of being the victor wears off quickly, especially when there’s a new batch of tributes lining up to fill your shoes. What made you special to them soon becomes a distant memory but what never fades, no matter how hard you try, are the screams from the people you killed. The blood you spilt. The faces of the families you had to look into and say ‘we thank you for your sacrifice.’”

“So what do you suppose I do?” you said through bared teeth

“Unfortunately,” he scoffed, “there’s not much you can do. You have to be who the Capitol wants you to be. Who you’ve trained to be. I just wanted to prepare for what’s to come.” You absorbed his words as you made your way to the waiting area before you entered the stage for your interview, hearing the booming music for Caesar’s introduction as he excitedly greeted the audience, before allowing for cheers for your team. When the plate rising you up, you adjust your suit jacket and put on a cocky smile, the one that the Capitol audience was so used to seeing, so you could charm the faces in the audience as soon as they could see you.

“CATO BERENGER! Our newest victor of the Seventy-fourth Annual Hunger Games!” Caesar exclaimed, outstretching one arm to showcase you as you walked on the stage, “Welcome Cato!”

“Hi Caesar” you smile

“So, how are you feeling?” he asks, listening intently

“I feel good. I feel like a victor!” The audience cheered and Caesar let out a congratulatory chuckle

“Well that’s good!” he said, “isn’t it?” directing the question to the audience before turning back to you, “I must ask about your District Partner, Clove. You seemed quite upset about her death.”

“Clove was... a dear friend. We grew up together,” you fought the urge to say you’d trained together, as it was technically illegal and the Capitol officials would be furious, “she was a talented competitor and I will miss her.”

“Did you... love her?” he pries, leaning forward in his chair and you think about his answer for a moment. If you answer truthfully, that you loved Clove with your entire heart, then the audience might find you monstrous for letting her die when she called out to you. If you lie, and say that she was like a sister to you, they might question your authenticity

“I did,” you admitted, “but not in the way you may be implying. We were not the Star Crossed Lovers as those two from District 12 tried to portray themselves as. I loved her like a sister, as family.” The conversation shifted quickly and Caesar made jokes, keeping the atmosphere light-hearted before the inevitable death toll was displayed on screen and the murder of 23 children was broadcast. Three hours of footage from the past 18 days. From the pre-arena events to the bloodbath that saw so many die so suddenly. They showed your death count, as well as Clove’s, before taking a moment to share the small girl from 11′s death and Katniss’ song. You weren’t sure why, as it wasn’t in keeping with your story, but nevertheless, there it was; every note of the solemn song she sang to the dying child. Soon enough, they show your win on the Cornucopia, how you easily flung Katniss from the top and how Peeta jumped after her; An act they portrayed as cowardly. The anthem plays again and the seal appears on screen as President Snow is introduced, taking the stage with a young girl who carries the crown on a red cushion. This is the first time you’ve ever been in the same space as Snow and you can smell a hint of blood, covered by a thick layer of roses. He gives you a maniacal grin, as if he has something planned for you, before he congratulates you on your triumph.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, this years victor of the Seventy-fourth Annual Hunger Games!” Caesar exclaims once more and you wave to the crowd before being led off the stage, onto the train to take you back to District Two. Home. It feels so distant now. So much so, that you hardly recognize it. Wade was right, the first month or so was parties and affection from nearly everyone you came in contact with, but then you’d get tired of it and lock yourself in your mansion in the Victor’s Village. Preparing yourself for the Victory Tour and what ordeals would await you there. When it was finally time for you to leave, to make your way to District 12, Wade told you to prepare yourself for absolute silence.

“When I went to District 12, even though their tributes deaths weren’t by my hand, they treated me as if they were. As if I’d directly starved them or butchered them. They treated me like I was nothing. Like I wasn’t even worth their breath, and I didn’t kill the only volunteer their district has had in years, so imagine how they’ll treat you.” He sneered his words before buttering a piece of bread

“Maybe they won’t be silent. Maybe they’ll cause a commotion” you scoffed

“You don’t want that” Wade replied sharply

“Why not?”

“Any trouble caused with you around won’t look good. Whether you cause it or not. You should still try to act as though each district is important, because they are.”

“Who says I wouldn’t?”

“If you want commotion, you’re saying you don’t care about their lives.” You nodded in understanding at Wade’s words just as the train pulled up to District 12. A dirty, grimy, colourless place that was as quiet as a ghost town. Nothing like your home district. You looked to Wade who shrugged at you, as if to say ‘this is it,’ earning a sigh from you before continuing on your way to the square. You were able to watch as the citizens of the coal district filed into the square, noticing the worn faces from those who had to work every day of their lives to the fresh faces of the children who had been more fortunate than their older counterparts. Your eyes found their way to the front of the crowd, just below the stage, where the families and friends of Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen stood. Immediately, you recognized Primrose Everdeen, the sister that Katniss had volunteered for; she looked so frail and innocent, no wonder the district and the Capitol was invested in Katniss’ story. There was a face that you didn’t recognize, however, on Peeta’s side

“Who’s that?” you asked Wade as you pointed to a small blonde girl with pale skin who stood beside Peeta’s brothers, “Peeta didn’t have a sister did he?”

“No,” Wade said simply, smirking at your sudden interest in a District 12 girl, “that’s Delly Cartwright. She was Peeta’s best friend. She was his Clove.” You didn’t quite register the words at first but when you did, you could only scoff at his words, refusing to reply. You’d, of course, been prepped on what to say to the crowd but when you stepped on stage, you became tongue-tied.

“I would first like to thank you for coming out today,” you knew they had no choice, but the words were scripted and you had to say them, “this is not an easy speech to make. The lives you’ve lost will be, uhm, will be felt by--” you looked up at the audience once, clearing your throat to force yourself to continue, “will be felt by the Capitol. Your sacrifices are -- will be missed.” You tried but stopped when you heard a small sob escape the audience, connecting it to Prim, who buried her face in the chest of a tall, dark haired boy. You were told to keep things distant, clean, and not mention the tributes by name but you couldn’t help it. Seeing the families faces changed things. Like Wade said it would, “Katniss was incredibly smart and, with the way she treated Rue, I could tell she had a big heart. Peeta had remarkable strength,” you turned to Peeta’s family, catching the stare of the blonde you’d seen before, “but for all his strength, he was kind, truly.”

“You’re a murderer!” The dark haired boy yelled out

“Gale stop,” clutching onto him, pleading him to stop, “please”

“You don’t care about them. You don’t care about us!” You couldn’t apologize, the tour would be ruined and the Capitol would think their victor was weak, but what could he say to this boy shouting at you from the audience, pushing away the young girl Katniss had volunteered for. How could you stop this from becoming the commotion Wade warned you would mean you didn’t care about their lives

“The Captiol thanks you for your sacrifices. Peeta and Katniss will be mourned.” Suddenly, the boy lunged at you, the one you heard was called Gale, a name that sounded familiar to you but you couldn’t quite place it. You knew you couldn’t be on the stage for much longer, so you turned to walk away but heard the sound of heavy footsteps sprint toward you

“GALE!” a voice screamed out. At first you thought it was Prim, due to the high pitched tone of it but there was a different cadence to it, “GALE DON’T!” the voice repeated, causing you to turn around just in time for a fist to fly towards your face. You managed to miss it but when you pulled your arm back to return the fist, you caught sight of Wade telling you not to.

“Don’t!” he shouted just as a fist connected with the side of your face. There was frantic movement as the Peacekeepers rushed to take Gale away and his family, as well as Katniss’, ran after him while you were pulled behind the curtain.

“LET ME GO!” You shouted as pairs of arms surrounded you, dragging you back to the square, “I have to stop them!”

“There’s nothing you can do!” Wade yelled

“They could kill him!”

“That’s his problem. He’s the one who tried to fight a victor.” You sighed and did your best to convince them that you were calm but once they let you go, you heard the sounds of a leather whip slashing through skin and you knew exactly what was happening. You ran quickly out to the square, where a whipping post had been set up and the Hawthorne boy was tied up by his wrists as Prim and Delly fought to get to his side

“STOP!” they yelled, watching as their friend bled from the marks inflicted on him

“ENOUGH!” you roared and the square went silent, the Peacekeeper who was laying the whip to Gale’s back stopping in his tracks while the guards restraining Prim and Delly dropped their hold. Delly was the first to run to Gale and Prim followed shortly after, the two of them frantically untying Gale wrists from the post; his body dropping onto Delly heavily that she almost crumpled under his weight. She and Prim took Gale out of the square, to safety, while you confronted the Peacekeepers

“Mr. Berenger...” the one who had given the lashings whimpered, “sir, I--”

“Why would you whip this boy?” you questioned, a harshness to your tone that this district had probably become all too familiar with, “because he mourns his friends? Because he is in pain?”

“Because he attacked you, sir!”

“I don’t need your protection, sir!” you countered, making yourself big enough that you were peering down at him, “I release him of any and all charges. And you are not to hurt him again. Is that understood?”

“Yessir--” they mumbled

“I SAID IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?!”

“YES SIR!” they repeated, now with more urgency. You left the square not sure how to feel. President Snow was probably not going to like this very much and your parents wouldn’t be too pleased about it either. But it was her that you were worried about. Her opinion that you cared about. You felt like you searched for hours but the screams coming from the apothecary let you know that Gale was there and Delly likely was as well. When you found them, he had already passed out from the pain and Delly was clutching his hand as tears streamed down his face, gasping suddenly when she felt your presence

“Please,” she pleaded, standing up to block your path to him, “he didn’t mean it. He wouldn’t have gone further than a punch, he was just upset..”

“It’s okay,” you assured, holding up your hands to try to ease her mind, “I’m not going to hurt him or take him away. I just wanted to see how you-- how he was doing...” She furrowed her brow at your confession, unsure of how to proceed, but took her seat next to Gale.

“The lashes have exhausted him and he lost a lot of blood” she said, rubbing his hand with her thumb. You examined more now that you were closer to her. Her blonde hair looked almost yellow in the square, but the lighting in the apothecary made it appear golden. Her pale skin translucent in the unforgiving light of the district but here it was dewy, a radiance that you wouldn’t expect from a coal-mining district. She must be a merchant’s daughter.

“I’m sorry” you said quietly and she looked at you hastily, shocked at your apology. Her blue eyes beaming from across the room. They were close in colour to Peeta’s, but also to yours, only hers were deeper. Like an ocean you could get lost in, surrounded by dark rings that you feared you’d never escape. They were beautiful. Enticing. Enchanting. But you could feel that she was holding back pain. Pain from the loss of her best friend. Pain from the toll the Hunger Games had taken on her district. A pain you desperately wanted to take from her, “you must think I’m a monster...” you said after a period of silence had overtaken the two of you

“Because of this?” she questioned, “this was the Peacekeepers, not you.”

“Because of the games,” you corrected, “I’ve watched those deaths more times than I care to admit. I saw how they portrayed me. How everyone else must have seen me.”

“I don’t envy you at all,” she said, turning her body a sliver to face you, “having to train your whole life to be taught to kill other children. Many your own age or younger. I’ve never understood why death, and the deaths of so many children, was the price the Capitol wanted to collect. You had to do awful things to bring pride to your district and I am very very very...” you prepared yourself for the viscous words she would hurl your way, surprised with what came “sorry.”

“Sorry?” you questioned

“Yes.” she replied, “to have your life mapped out for you, without your say, couldn’t have been easy. I’m so very sorry that this is the life you were led to believe was all you could have”

“You’re so kind...” you said, scrunching your eyebrows together, “no one has shown me this much kindness in my life.”

“I don’t think you’re a monster, Mr. Berenger, I think you’re lost. Trying to fit an image that the Capitol and your own District has created for you.” Just then, Wade stormed through the door

“CATO!” he barked, “you can’t be here. We have to go. Now!”

“Take this,” you said to Delly, taking out a small silver box from your jacket, “it’s not much but it should help with his healing.”

“Thank you” she smiled at you as you were torn from the room and back to the train.

“With what’s happened here, we’ve been forced to move up our timeline. You’ll be going to District 11 now. Staying for two days more than we’d planned.” Wade said

“Can I see her again?” was all you said, unable to remove Delly from your mind

“Focus, Mr. victor,” Wade snapped, “are you hearing what I’m saying to you? You will be staying in the District of the tribute who killed Clove for two days.”

“Fine. I’ll say a nice speech, enjoy their festivities and then keep to myself on the train”

“What if something happens, as it did here in 12.”

“Then I stay back. I don’t get involved”

“Easier said than done apparently,” he sighed, “that’s what you were supposed to do in 12 as well. But we see how that worked, now, don’t we?”

“That was different”

“Because of some girl?”

“She’s not just some girl...”

“You don’t know her. You cannot get involved with her, with anyone.”

“Why not?”

“It’s complicated... you’ll understand once you make it back home.”

“Tell me now.”

“You’re not free to do as you please, Cato, none of the Victors are. Why do you think we’re all miserable?” Wade replied, pushing you aside so you would pay attention, “it is better to keep a distance from anyone we could possibly hurt than be selfish and risk their lives.”

“Risk their lives?” you questioned

“Just trust me!”

“How can I trust you when you’re not telling me anything?”

“I have been there! Trust my experience, boy, or you will slowly go mad.” You inhaled sharply, wanting to argue, but trusting that Wade knew what he was talking about; he was a former victor after all. But it still didn’t make sense. You still wanted to find comfort in the kindness of Delly again and you couldn’t understand that, if you could have everything, why couldn’t you have her?

19 notes · View notes

commander-rahrah · 5 years

Text

RESIDENCY (AN OPEN HEART FIC): PART SEVENTEEN

Pairing: MC (Jordynne Holland) X Ethan Ramsey X Bryce Lahela; MC X Bryce; MC X Ethan

Masterlist: Click Here

Chapter Rating: T (Swearing)

Word Count: 3600+

Description: Ethan comes back to Boston after hearing about Jordynne’s suspension and upcoming hearing. Jordynne is upfront about her feelings to someone. Bryce finally says what he has been thinking for a while now.

Disclaimer: Characters, storyline, and parts of the dialogue are taken from Pixelberry’s Choices. They fully own the characters, dialogue, backgrounds, etc. MC Jordynne’s background is my own creation, based loosely off of MC in-game’s personality and provided with more details.

Author’s Note: Typing up 3600+ fanfiction on your iPhone is not very fun. If my phone calls Bryce “Bruce” one more time I may rage. I have had scenes from this chapter stuck in my head FOREVER. I’m so glad to finally post this chapter because it also means I am getting closer to the 30 diamond scene with Ethan!!!!!!!

Also, this fic is now at over 75K words total! Which is super crazy insane.

As always any and all likes, reblogs and comments are VERY appreciated. If you would like to tagged for future updates, please reply or send me a DM to be added to the tag list. <3

PS: Speaking of the tag list, can you tell me if your tag works?! :)I’ve been having so many issues with it, and it drives me crazy. I have gone through it and edited -- realizing there was some ppl I never added (facepalm), new handles, etc. If you ever want to be removed please just let me know!

Taglist: @drakewalkerfantasy @owleyes374 @lahelable @mayar-mahdy @paisleylovergirl @nicquix @emilymay100 @octobereighth @llamasgrl @timmagicktoad @lilyofchoices @msjpuddleduck @mfackenthal @paulfwesley @ccolz88-blog @jooous @themingdynasty @perriewinklenerdie@mindlessdreaminxo @jens-diamondchoices @omgjasminesimone @indiacater @chasingrobbie @writingsbymissy @binny1985

Previous Updates: Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight Part Nine Part Ten Part ElevenPart Twelve Part Thirteen Part Fourteen Part Fifteen Part Sixteen

Song Inspiration: Ghostin’ - Ariana Grande

I know you hear me when I cry I try to hold it in the night While you're sleepin' next to me But it's your arms that I need this time

Look at the cards that we've been dealt If you were anybody else Probably wouldn't last a day Every tear's a rain parade from hell

Baby, you do it so well

You been so understanding, you been so good And I'm puttin' you through more than one ever should And I'm hating myself 'cause you don't want to Admit that it hurts you

I know that it breaks your heart when I cry again Over him, mmh I know that it breaks your heart when I cry again 'Stead of ghostin' him

Previous Chapter: Part Sixteen

It was weird coming back to Edenbrook.

It looked different somehow.

Did it though? Maybe Ethan’s mind was just playing tricks on him. Guilting him for walking away from the place he had called his home for ten years.

It was still early — and especially after a night of triage — there wasn’t a lot of staff yet. The soft light of the sun rising was cast into the atrium, turning the white walls and floors orange.

Ethan ducked into the elevator quickly — avoiding any lingering stares or confused faces. He wasn’t sure if anyone would recognize him without his white coat and quaffed hair. Not many people had seen Dr. Ramsey is wrinkled trousers and threadbare sweaters. But this was an emergency.

He walked the familiar path to the chief’s office — hesitating at the door before finally pushing himself to knock.

He heard the familiar clicks of Harper’s heels before she opened the door. Her expression was stunned — blinking at the sight of him. Then it turned — her eyebrows furrowing and arms crossing over her chest. She spun on her heel — going back into the room, and leaned against the edge of her desk.

“So it just took dropping her name to get you back here, hey?” Her mouth was gritted into a hard line.

Ethan swallowed, shoving his hands into his pockets, “What?”

“Holland. You quit, leave us high and dry, dodge my calls, tell me to fuck off —,” Harper’s nostrils flared, “But one message about Dr. Holland being suspended and here you are.”

Ethan wasn’t sure what to say.

She sighed at his silence, “Well, it’s too late — she’s suspended and the preliminary ethics hearing is in a few hours. You can’t vouch for her anymore.”

“She’s a good doctor, Harper. You know that.” He stepped forward — his blue eyes big, pleading.

“She is. And it’s a shame that she probably won’t be a doctor anymore after this.”

His stomach tightened as she said that. He couldn’t imagine her not being a doctor — everything she had worked so hard for. It just couldn’t happen. He opened his mouth to speak, but she caught him off.

“You can’t do anything, Ethan. You don’t work here anymore — you don’t have a spot on the panel.” She shook her head, her silver hoops dangling off of her ears, “And there is no chance you’re testifying.”

He took his hands out of his pockets, putting them out to her, “If anybody in this place knows her character it’s me.”

“Exactly. You’re too close to this, Ethan...,” Her brown eyes betrayed her for a moment, “I know you have feelings for her.”

“I—“ Ethan blinked, his mind whirling. He did — he knew, Jordynne knew that. And apparently, Harper did too. How did she know?

She noticed the quizzical look on his face and furrow in his brow. “I’ve seen the way you look at her — I can recognize it anywhere. You used to look at me like that. Once upon a time.”

The pair stood in silence — remembering the time that they were together. Before their schedules and administration got in the way. Before bitterness and tension settled in. Before everything had changed.

“I don’t even know if something’s happened between you two — and I don’t want to. But if the council gets a whiff of it, Ethan — it’s over. She needs a fair, clean trial. And having the Attending she may or may not be romantically involved with testify for her will not help.” Harper stepped forward, grabbing onto the crook of his elbow, “I’m not just saying this as administration Ethan, I’m saying this as your friend. The best thing you can do for her, for both of you, is to stay out of this.”

He chewed on his lip — doing his best to keep his emotions at bay. He wanted to hold on — to fight. His heart wanted to so desperately. But his mind — it knew better. She didn’t need someone like him. A failure. The heartless robot.

“I won’t interfere,” Ethan finally croaked, looking down at his feet.

“Good.” She finally let go of his arm, pushing her hands back onto the desk. “So are you going to tell me why you quit?”

He closed his eyes — his throat closing up. What was he going to tell her? That he had secretly been treating a patient in the newly constructed wing behind her back? Oh, and that patient was Naveen — both of their long-time friend and mentor. And he had handed him his death sentence last week. “I can’t.”

“No, Ethan. You just won’t.” Harper let out an exasperated sigh, before moving around to the other side of her desk. “I have a hearing to prepare for, so if you could see yourself out.” She started shuffling through papers — not looking at him.

He stood there for a moment — and nothing came to mind. Pursing his lips, He turned on his heel and left her office — closing the door quietly behind him.

_______________________________________________________________________

Jordynne sat on the edge of her bed — the mattress sinking softly, the soft white duvet wrinkling. She let out a loud exhale — her face buried into her hands, arms propped up against her knees. She was still wearing her blouse and blazer — her attempt to look professional for her preliminary hearing.

She wasn’t sure if it had worked. The formal hearing was still called. Chief Emery announced her official suspension until then. Jordynne had to turn in her badge and watch as Zaid and Ines reassigned her cases to the other interns.

She needed to be confident — she knew that. Everything was on the line. But it’s what she had needed to do. Walking around the hospital, hiding what she had done was wrong. She had given Mrs. Martinez a chance — hope. And even though it hadn’t worked out the way they had wanted it, Jordynne knew that Teresa would not want her to regret it.

But she still couldn’t fight the aching inside her.

Falling back onto the mattress, her blonde hair fanned out behind her. She needed to focus on the hearing — this was her career, everything she had been working for. But she couldn’t help the gnawing in the back of her mind, the pain that felt like a knife slowly twisting in her stomach.

She didn’t want to leave Edenbrook. She definitely did not want to leave Boston. There were so many unanswered questions, so much more left to learn and explore and see. And the people.

Jordynne gulped guiltily. The people — that’s why she didn’t want to leave. Was it people? A certain person? Her mind was reeling.

A soft knock at her open bedroom door caused her to blink back to reality. Her eyebrows furrowed — she was home alone, all of her roommates where working shifts at the hospital. And Landry hadn’t been to the apartment in days. Thankfully.

The tiny form of Sienna poked her head around the door, her almond eyes soft. “Hey, how you holding up?”

Jordynne pushed herself up onto her elbows, looking at her roommate quizzically, “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

“Yeah, I just came home for my lunch instead today.” She shrugged, trying to look nonchalant.

“Sienna...”

Her friend chewed her lip, “I just wanted to make sure you were OK.”

“You don’t have to do that.” She played with her fingers, looking down at the worn floor of her bedroom.

“I know I don’t have to. But I wanted to.”

“Right,” Jordynne murmured. Another sigh escaped her lips as she fell back onto the mattress.

“Hey, everything will be okay. You’re gonna rock this trial.” Jordynne felt the mattress sink a little as her roommate sat on the edge of it.

“It’s not just the trial.” She croaked out, blinking away tears as she stared up at the ceiling.

Sienna’s eyebrows furrowed as she thought, “Is it Br—“

“It’s Ethan.” She blurted out, interrupting.

Sienna was quiet for a moment, her eyebrows furrowed even deeper. “Ramsey?”

“Yes.”

“Dr. Ramsey?” She questioned again.

She nodded.

“The Doctor Ethan Ramsey?” Her eyebrows raises high on her face, her neck strained as he looked at her friend.

“Sienna!” Jordynne reached behind her and grabbed onto a pillow. She hit her friend with it lightly.

“Sorry!” She put her hands up in defense, “It’s just just — Wow... Ethan Ramsey. And you mean... like...”

“Yeah.” Grabbing the pillow from the floor, Jordynne clutched it to her chest and she laid back down.

“Wow.” She repeated, “Did you...?”

“No! We — we’ve kissed.”

“When?!”

Jordynne’s green eyes focused on the ceiling again, her fingers nervously picking at the seams of the pillow, “Miami... At the conference. And again, the night we found out about Teresa. Right before he quit...”

Surprise washed over Sienna’s face, “Miami?! That was ages ago! You’re just telling me now?”

“I didn’t know what to make of it then.”

“And what do you make of it now?”

“I — I don’t know.” Jordynne let out a sigh, “But with everything going on right now with the trial, and suspension, and Landry... I have so many things going on right now, but the first thing I think about in the morning is him.”

Sienna settled into the bed a little deeper, crossing her legs and staring at her friend, “Does he know that?”

“We —,” She hesitated, “We’ve never really gotten the chance honestly.”

Sienna bit her lip, looking worried, “Does Bryce know?”

Jordynne nodded, “Mhmm.”

“And how did he take it?”

“Oh you know, like an absolute angel.” Tears welled up in her eyes, “Haven’t really decided anything — since we’re casual and uh, since Ethan and I are just — well, nothing really.”

“Wow,” Sienna repeated again.

“Yeah.”

“How good were those kisses?” A huge grin spread across her face, and she poked at her friend's side.

“Sienna!”

“What? I mean, it’s Dr. Dreamy Douche — only like half of Edenbrook staff have imagined kissing him.” She purses her lips, attempting to hide a blush, “Maybe including me.”

“Kissing him...,” Jordynne paused, thinking. “It felt right. And that probably sounds awful with hiding it, and Bryce, and it being so ‘complicated’,” She air-quoted the final word, “But it did.”

“Have you heard from him since he quit?”

She clutched the pillow to her chest a little tighter, “No.” She whispered. “I don’t know if I’m more afraid of never seeing him again or seeing him again, you know?”

“Oh, Jordy,” Sienna leaned over and grabbed onto her hand, clutching her fingers. “He doesn’t know what he’s missing.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Coffees in hand, Bryce showed up as soon as his shift ended that night. He was greeted with shouts telling him the door was open — maneuvering into the apartment he saw the roommates spread throughout the living and dining room — picking at boxes of pizza. The familiar blonde was nowhere to be seen.

Closing the front door with his hip, Bryce walked in with his eyebrows raised, “Where’s Jordynne?” He asked.

Jackie nodded towards her closed bedroom door, before taking a large bite of pizza.

“She okay?” His eyebrows furrowed, pausing outside of the door.

He watched Sienna’s face fall before she quickly corrected it. “Yeah — yeah, she said the preliminary hearing went alright.”

Bryce studied her face for a moment, before nodding, “That’s good. I’ll— I’ll be back.” Still holding the paper cup in his hand, he used the back of his knuckles to knock quietly on her door, “Jordy? It’s me.”

He heard a soft “come in” from the other side of the door, and he slipped inside. It wasn’t entirely dark in her room — there was a soft orange glow from the lamp on her bedside table, illuminating her figure as she laid in the bed.

Jordynne’s blonde hair was pulled up into a bun, her glasses sitting crooked on her nose as she hugged a pillow. Most of her body was covered by her white duvet, but Bryce knew she had her threadbare Oregon State sweater on.

“Hey,” He whispered, shuffling into the room and next to the bed. He placed one of the cups down on the nightstand, “I brought you a coffee.”

The corners of her pink lips tugged up, “Only you would feed my addiction at 9 o’clock at night.”

“Hey, I know how to deal with gremlin Jordynne any time of day.” He took a swig of his own hot drink, before setting it down next to hers. He carefully sat down on the bed, sitting in the space between her stomach and legs as she laid on her side. “So how was the preliminary hearing?”

“It was alright. Declan was there.” She rolled her eyes, “But this is what I needed to do. Teresa would want this.”

Bryce nodded along with her, before giving her a sad smile. “So if it went well, why are you hiding away in here?”

“I’m not hiding in here.”

“There are three large pizzas outside that make me think differently. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you say no to extra cheesy, greasy pizza.” He smirked.

“I—“ Her green eyes flickered to the door, betraying her, “I’m just not in the mood for it.”

He placed his hand on her side, squeezing her waist, “Talk to me, Jordynne.”

“You don’t want to hear it.” The pillowcase rustled as she shook her head.

“If it’s making you upset, I do.” He squeezed her again, Maybe I can fix it.”

“You can’t fix this, Bryce.”

He shrugged, “Try me.”

“It’s Ethan, ok?” She said quietly.

“Okay.” He chewed his lip, thinking for a moment, “You know, you don’t have to keep hiding this from me.”

“It’s just not fair to you. I don’t—“

But he caught her off, “Jordynne, I know exactly what I signed up for.”

She let out an exasperated sigh, “But I’ve made everything messy. And confusing. This isn’t what you wanted, I’m sure.”

“All I want is for you to not feel like this.” He moved his head until they were both looking at each other. His dark eyes studied her green ones, “So if that means Ethan... or me. Regardless of what happens, with the trial or with him I’m going to be here. Probably with coffee. Until you tell me not to be.” He slipped his hand into hers, squeezing it gently.

They stayed like that for a moment, before Jordynne sat up a little. Her face came towards his, and Bryce felt his breath hitch for a moment. Her pink lips grazed his cheek with a small kiss. “Thank you,” She whispered, a sad smile spreading across her face before she laid back down.

Bryce swallowed hard — burying the feelings that had flared up in him as she had neared his face. He had thought — well, it didn’t matter.

He left a couple hours later — after finally coaxing Jordynne out of her room with the coffee and pizza and friends. He had sat across the table from her — unable to tear his eyes away.

Now, he was strolling down a sidewalk in downtown Boston. Opting to walk home instead of taking the subway — the crisp night air was turning his cheeks red. But he had needed the time to think and unwind. It was late now and everything felt heavy — his steps, the long, slow blinks of his eyes, among other things.

All at once the inky black sky opened to let out a shower of rain. It came down slowly at first, before turning into the large droplets that splatted against the sidewalk and Bryce’s face. Scrambling at first Bryce started to pull up the hood of his jacket, before laughing at himself. He was already drenched, soaked from the cool rain.

As he rounded the familiar corner near the hospital, Bryce’s eyes squinted at the familiar neon glow of a pub near his apartment. He could hear the thudding music from inside the building, muffled through the windows but getting slightly louder as patrons went in and out. He had never been inside before — usually opting for the familiar bar near the hospital instead.

As he got closer to the establishment, Bryce’s footsteps started to falter a little in the rain — noticing a figure stumble out of the bar. Just like him, they got immediately drenched by the rain — though the man had no coat like Bryce. He watched as he tipped his head back, letting the cold rain hit him in the face before barking out a hard laugh. Then the man looked to the side, finally noticed he was being watched.

Bryce studied his dark features before recognition washed over him.

It was Ramsey.

Ethan must have realized who he was too, cause in that moment he turned on his heel and began striding away in the opposite direction.

Anger boiled in Bryce as his steps moved faster to match with his — attempting to catch up to him. Jordynne has been constantly worrying, waiting to hear from him — and now he was in the city and still hadn’t reached out to her?

“Hey!” Bryce called putting after him, almost in a jog at this point. “Hey!”

“What do you want, Lahela?” Ethan slurred, finally twisting around to face him.

“What I need,” Bryce took him by the shoulders and pulled him under a nearby awning away from the rain. His breath was a little ragged, and he took a moment to take a few deep breaths, “What I need is for you to figure out what the fuck you want.”

“Excuse me?” Ethan was looking anywhere but at Bryce. He reeked of booze — the scent lingering on him even though his sweater was soaked. And he looked like, well, shit. The surgical intern had never seen the ex-Attending look so disheveled.

“This.” Bryce jabbed a finger into his chest, “You. Whatever this is — it’s killing her.”

He studied his face when he said that — noticing the guilt that washed over Ethan’s face. He knew who he is was talking about.

“What you’re doing is killing, Jordynne. I’ve never seen her like this. And it’s because of you.” Shoving his hands back into his jacket pocket, Bryce backed away from him a little. “So decide man, do you want her? Or not? Because she does. She wants you.”

The pair were silent for a moment, tension still slowly pulling between them.

Finally, Ethan spoke again. “You just admit to losing Lahela? Your girl wants me over you?”

Bryce’s nostril flared for a moment, but he pushed the anger back down. “I could give a shit about losing to you. All I care about is her being happy. And for some god damn reason, you do that for her.

I could care less about being her second choice. I could be her hundredth choice, and I would still be ecstatic. Because everyday with her is like winning the god damn lottery. And if you don’t fucking realize that, then you need to let her go. Because it’s killing her. And I can’t watch it anymore.”

Ethan’s steely eyes were wide for a moment, and his Adam’s Apple dropped as he took a hard swallow. “How long have you been preparing that?”

“Since the moment I found out how she felt about you.” Bryce let out a long breath through his nose, “In my head, there was a pretty good right hook to your face too. But I figure I shouldn’t do that.”

“Thanks.” Ethan breathed out. Bryce watched him stumble a little towards the curb, before lowering himself onto it and sitting down. Ethan put his face into his hands.

Letting out a sigh, he sat down next to him — feeling his jeans get soaked from the water running off the sidewalk. “Why are you being like this?”

“Well, I would approximate that I’m at 0.15% Blood Alcohol Content right now. That probably has something to do with it.”

“That’s not what I—,” Bryce chewed on the inside of his cheek, “Then why are you drinking like this? To forget?”

“Maybe to remember,” Ethan said quietly.

The pair watched in silence as a car drove by on the other side of the road — hitting a puddle and sensing a large spray of water over the asphalt.

“I’m not what they think I am.”

Bryce’s eyebrows furrowed, “What?”

“Jordynne. Naveen. Harper. All of them. I’m not what they think I am.” Ethan waved his arm at himself, sitting on the curb, “This is the real Ethan Ramsey.”

“Jordynne doesn’t seem to think so.” He gulped.

“Well, she’s wrong.” Ramsey croaked.

“Maybe you should let her decide that.” Bryce put his hands on his knees and pushed himself off of the curb. “And stop ghosting her. Talk to her.”

“I—“

“No. This,” Bryce pointed to Ethan drunkenly sitting on the curb, “Is not helping anyone.”

Finally, he offered his hand out to Ethan. He hesitated, but then grabbed onto the surgical intern's tan hand and allowed him to help him up. “I still don’t like you though.”

“I know.”

“And you don’t like me.”

“Nope.”

“But I — we,” Bryce corrected himself, “We like Jordynne. So.”

“Yeah.”

Bryce didn’t say anything else. He noticed a cab turning the corner near them, and he flagged them down with a wave. “You too drunk to remember where you live?”

“Hyde Park?” Ethan asked through the open window of the cab. He got a nod from the driver, and he pulled the door open. Ethan paused with the door open, “I’d offer to share the cab, but I feel like if you spend any more time with me I risk getting that right hook to the face?”

“Yup,” Bryce said coolly.

Ethan barked out a laugh, before giving Bryce a final nod and slipped into the cab.

He watched the yellow cab pull away, and he finally realized how long he had been standing (and sitting) in the rain for. Pulling out his phone, he sighed when he noticed the time and pocketed it again.

What had he gotten himself into?

Part Eighteen

45 notes · View notes

mittensmorgul · 6 years

Note

Hey mittens! I have a new friend on tumblr who is struggling. She wants to be a writer but her fics aren't being seen. She's frustrated. She wants to give up. I've given her the best advice I can give. I'm a small blog but I keep writing all the time. Trying to give her advice, but not sure what else I can do. She's in her mid twenties, lives at home, doesn't have a job or a car but desperately wants to. She's stuck and needs help. What else can I do and what advice would you give? Thank you!

Heck, I have no idea. D:

Write good? >.>

(haaaaa three hours after I started typing this, with the intent of replying privately, I’ve officially invested too much time in it not to post it… under a cut for length, and because I have officially run out of mental energy and real-world time for dealing with it for today…)

I mean, I see advice all the time on how to get seen/noticed around here, and half the advice conflicts with the other half. It’s hard to even guess what worked for anyone sometimes.

There’s networks she could join (I have no idea how networks work, and I’ve been here nine years, so someone who actually uses networks would probably be better to ask about how to do that, but I do know that the point of them is for a group of people to see/reblog member works, so that might help her get noticed).

There’s also things like Profound Bond and Writers of Destiel. These are discord groups, but they both have a tumblr presence (especially @profoundnet which she could look into.) They run challenges, have a really vibrant community over on discord with hundreds of members, and regularly reblog member works on tumblr.

Plus, making friends, working with beta readers or other writing partners will help find new friends and followers who will help spread her works, too. Volunteering to beta read when a “bigger” writer puts out a call can also help– not only in building friendships with other authors but also gaining experience with writing as well as editing.

Interacting with other authors on tumblr, reblogging their work and commenting– even if it’s just “OH GOSH I LOVE THIS” kind of stuff– ESPECIALLY with other “smaller writers” and thereby spreading the word around about each other’s writing will help grow up a community around all of you.

None of us started out popular, you know? And “popularity” is definitely a relevant term. When I started writing fic, I lucked into a situation that I attempted to recreate with the Christmas collaboration thingy I ran, but ouch that proved to be way more work than I really had the time or energy for. I’d be happy to help others run that type of collab and offer advice, but heck if I’ll ever do one myself again. :P

A lot of fic challenges are a good way for new writers to get noticed, too. There’s a TON of challenges out there. Now, something like the DCBB or one of the other larger and more established challenges might not be the easiest place for a newbie writer to cut their teeth. There is A LOT that goes into challenges that newbies are just not prepared for (rules, deadlines, etc., because knowing how to write, edit, and post on a concrete deadline where others are relying on you to know what you’re doing without needing an undue amount of help from the mods isn’t something you want to learn on the fly in a high-pressure situation like that… there’s an assumption when signing up for something like the DCBB or the Pinefest that in doing so, a writer is CERTAIN that their skills– including TIME MANAGEMENT and the ability to collaborate with an artist and follow all the rules (YES, ALL OF THE RULES) and meet every deadline– are up to the task.

So, that said, I’d highly recommend some of the other smaller, more laid-back fandom challenges. There’s new ones popping up all the time, and a lot of them are geared toward specific types of fic (canon fic, certain tropes, etc.), so there’s a built-in audience for their work. Not to mention that in smaller challenges there’s actually more room for exposure, and not having your work drowned in a flood of hundreds of other long works, potentially many of them by already established authors, coming out in the same time period. Readers are literally spoiled for choice in those situations, and an “untested” author posting a 20k+ fic might fall by the wayside while “guaranteed thing” authors works get more attention, you know? Readers have a limited amount of time they can commit to reading, and with SO many choices available, are actually more likely go for the “tried and true” author they’re already familiar with before investing in an unknown author. Profound Bond is just starting the @casdeanflipfest, for example, with a smaller wordcount minimum, and therefore a more reasonable length work for readers to take a risk on an author they’re not familiar with. I might not have time, as a reader, to invest in every 60k fic that crosses my dash, but I will drop everything to read a 5k fic for half an hour, you know?

There’s also event-specific tags that offer opportunities to be seen by a wider audience. For example, for the last few days, the DCBB folks have been encouraging folks to tag Valentine’s Day themed works #dcvday. This is a very laid-back and casual way to put your works out to an audience who’s looking for exactly that type of thing, you know? Other situation-specific tags like this happen frequently (like Dean’s birthday fic, or the Destiel Anniversary fic, or holiday fic, for example).

There’s also fic collections. For example, right now the @destieltropecollection is collecting fics for this year’s lists: http://destieltropecollection.tumblr.com/post/182800717844/destieltropecollection-destiel-trope-collection. If you have fic that fits into any of these tropes, fill out the form and submit them to be added to the masterpost. They’ll be posted in May, a different trope’s list each day. People looking for that specific trope will have a handy list, and you can reach a whole new audience that way. :)

Take writing prompts, if that’s something you’re comfortable doing. People with cute lil fic ideas will LOVE you for fleshing out their ideas and turning them into something beautiful. Or GIVE writing prompts to other authors who accept them. You never know what sort of creative collaboration that might spark. If you have a fic idea based on someone’s post, by all means TALK TO THAT PERSON! Express your excitement about their idea, ask if it’s okay to turn their little headcanon or writing prompt into a longer fic, and I can almost guarantee that the original poster will be THRILLED.

Take fan art as writing prompts, as well! As much as authors Die Of Squee if an artist is inspired to draw something from one of our fics, ARTISTS ARE EQUALLY FILLED WITH SQUEE if you’re inspired to write fic based on their art. Just, if you do this, please please PLEASE actually communicate privately with the author or artist in question before you do anything with it. Make it clear you’re writing out of love for their thing, and not in a selfish grab for attention, you know? Otherwise it feels a little too much like stealing. It’s a fine line, but it’s all a matter of perception to everyone involved. That communication and collaboration is key.

That said, I think 99% of it all is pure luck. But because of that first challenge I did, the next fic I posted was (miraculously!) reviewed by destielfanfic, which I don’t think is the sort of exposure most authors get on their first long fic… This was also early 2015, when there was a sort of Boom Market for fic, and I don’t even think the atmosphere for fandom is still exactly the same, you know? It feels a lot more decentralized, and a lot of the “big writers” from back then have left the fandom entirely, or else don’t write much at all anymore.

But fandom is a cyclical thing like that. People come and go, popularity rises and falls. I think my best advice is to develop friendships with people who are in that same general region of that arc as you are, you know? Build a community, support each other.

I see bitter posts all the time about how “popular” people don’t want to support newcomers, and “elite cliques” of folks are conspiring to hold on to their popularity by keeping others down, and that’s just bullshit. The little group of people I generally hang in tumblr circles with have been my friends for years, at this point. Most of us are kinda stunned that we’re all still around, you know? We all showed up around the same time, and went through these sorts of struggles together. We’re still here, and most of us recognize that we’re only considered “popular” at all by attrition. We survived while other folks rage-quit the show or the fandom. I know that’s not a particularly encouraging-sounding bit of advice, but that’s literally how the vast majority of us got recognized. We just… didn’t quit.

I was blogging on this dumb site for four years before anyone really started to notice me. (and I still know that the perception of my personal popularity FAR outweighs my actual popularity, you know? I’m not one of the elite 1% of writers around here, and I know it, and I’m perfectly fine with that. I don’t post long fic serially, and that shows in my total hit counts on AO3. Serial posting artificially inflates hit counts, and keeps works at the top of the results page week after week, and I’d personally just rather post a complete fic to stand on its own. But that’s a dilemma for another post.) Then again, I started out mostly reading meta and squealing about the show, occasionally commenting, asking questions, or adding my thoughts to posts. I learned the lay of the land, so to speak (who was receptive to these sorts of additions and conversations starting on their posts and who wasn’t, and the social conventions surrounding it all), while lurking and not even really trying to get noticed. I made friends with people before I ever started writing fic.

(but I also have a background in original fiction writing, so I already knew quite a lot about author culture in general, and had a lot of experience writing myself before I started to write fic, which likely helped me personally quite a bit. I was able to jump into writing chat groups and had a bit of writing cred even before I published a single fic, because I’d been writing original novels and had already cultivated a group of “Professional Author Friends,” participated in writing critique groups (which comprise Alpha and Beta Reading in fanfic writing circles), and therefore knew how those social circles functioned, you know? I mean, some of the authors from my “Professional Author Friends” circle, who I’ve been friendly with for more than a decade now, have gone on to Big Things in Publishing. And clearly I never did… aah health crises that knocked me off that train. But I realized I’m happier writing fic, without all the pressures that come from professional publishing, so I still consider it a personal win. But I was able to take a lot of that knowledge and experience with networking and building communities with me and transfer it to fandom, so I know my experience is not everyone’s experience.)

I think the main key thing is to create that sort of community. A lot of new writers go directly to the perceived “most popular” authors in fandom, as if they somehow held the key to understanding how to become more popular, or expecting the “popular” bloggers to “pay it forward” and give them a hand up (whether it be through asking questions or reblogging their fic posts, beta reading for them or whatever it may be). But even there, there’s a limit to pretty much everyone’s time, in a real-life sort of fashion. The more popular or widespread an author’s works become, the more up and coming writers will also see their work, and I get how people want to hitch themselves to that, you know?

Not to mention, most of us are entirely baffled by being thought of as popular writers. And again, I’m still sort of on the fringe of that kind of Big Fandom Popularity myself, and still kinda baffled as to how I got here.

But we’re all just people, with limited amounts of time to engage with other people, and a limited number of spoons in our respective drawers for social engagement. I do TRY to do what I can, but between beta reading for my already-established writing buddies (which I still only have limited time for, I AM SO SORRY ELMIE I SEE THE THINGS AND WANT TO READ THE THINGS BUT I CAAAAAAAN’T AND I’M MAD ABOUT IT OKAY?!), and still want to engage with current canon and write and read meta about it, and still want to actually write my own fic, not to mention helping to run the Pinefest (even though Cass does the bulk of the behind the scenes work, I take on a lot of the day to day general upkeep of it all) and still have to engage with reality and my human family that I live with and like… pay my bills and cook dinner and all that boring shit, not to mention coping with those chronic illnesses that knocked me off the Professional Paid Writer train in the first place… it’s not easy to balance out, you know?

It’s not so much a function of “I got mine, so screw you.” I just needed to make that clear, since I’ve seen that sentiment bandied about recently (again), and it’s just insulting. I think the main takeaway here is that Fandom is a Baffling Ordeal, and the key to winning in any way is to build up a community around yourself. If you want to achieve success as a writer, push yourself to write better. Find people you trust to beta read for you. And maybe most importantly, never “promote” your own work with negativity.

I see way too many writers who add notes to their work like, “ugh this is probably terrible.” Just… never do that. Have confidence in yourself, love your own writing, or at least present it with enthusiasm, if you ever expect anyone else to take that risk and read your words, you know?

So really? It boils down to perseverance, networking, and putting in the work to become the best writer you can, with no small portion of sheer luck. There’s no secret magical formula to success, aside from building a community that makes you happy. I’ve discovered that people are really attracted to happiness and positive energy, you know?

Heck I’m worn out just from spending five hours on this post now, in between Real Life Adulting I needed to take care of for an hour. I hope it all makes sense, but I’m gonna go surf my dash for a while and hopefully recover enough brain power to do the rest of the stuff I need to today D:

#fandom problems #this isn't a problem per se but i don't really have a better tag for it... maybe something like #fandom 101 #we're all just random people doing the best we can here and trying to make the most of our own experiences #emptywithout

22 notes · View notes

murfeelee · 6 years

Text

Shadowhunters - RANT ALERT

lifeasasim replied to your photoset “Yasumi no Edo - Pt2c ( Tōkyō Dizunīrando no Hanabi) The special…”

WHY TF ARE THEY CANCELING THE SHOWWWW

Because Freeform’s too dang stupid to know not to bite the hand that feeds it, that’s why!

These articles (X X) are giving me ulcers. I can’t believe this is happening. I just can’t. They’re cancelling my show. We won’t get Season 4.

They’re stopping Season 3B at City of Heavenly Fire, and not adapting the other books. So does this mean no Malec adopting their sons? No Malec proposal? No Malec wedding? Are y’all serious right now?

They had the nerve to push back the airing of Season 3B -- Todd & co. had originally said that it would air this August, but that tweet was deleted hella fast, and now they’re saying 3B won’t air till Spring 2019! JESUS! O_O First that long hiatus waiting for 3A, and now this!? Waiting a whole year for a show that’s gonna be cancelled right after 3B finally airs!? WTF!?

So, what am I supposed to do -- sit here and stew in my depression!?

This is hell.

This is LITERAL HELL, people.

I’m so mad at Freeform & Netflix, I don’t even have the words. It’s corporate shenanigans and power plays, plain and simple. Netflix didn’t get what they wanted, Freeform couldn’t see a good deal staring them right in the frikkin face, so the whole thing blew up with the show being cancelled over sheer pettiness and greed.

We had SO MUCH MORE to look forward to! And now they’re gonna squeeze everything into 3B and call it done!? Cassandra Clare is still writing! We got 2 new big bads in the Shadow World to look forward to, with Malcolm Fade and the Unseelie King! That was gonna be AWESOME! And Cassie’s releasing an entire book about Malec! THE MATERIAL~~~! U_U

Why can’t Freeform just fork over the licensing rights and give the show over to a company that actually wants to work with it?!

Freeform didn’t promote Shadowhunters at all. I can't tell y'all how many ads I’ve passed by every day while riding the train to for their new show Cloak & Dagger -- I kept mistaking the white-haired girl in the photos for Danaerys Targaryen (which I know they’re doing on purpose, effing click bait). I saw a few for Siren, too. But in all these years though I have NOT ONCE seen a single ad for Shadowhunters while walking around in NYC. NOT ONE.

Apparently Netflix & some other networks I think were advertising the show internationally (where the bulk of the fanbase is located), and kudos to them or whatever, but at this point, I don’t even want Netflix to pick up Shadowhunters; they’re the petty arsewipes who pulled the funding in the first place! I’d prefer some other network like Hulu, The CW, or MTV get it, tbh.

People were speculating that maybe HBO or SyFy could take it, but I don’t really think either of those are viable options. I mean...lbr SyFy’s not exactly known for making that many very good original shows.... >_>

Shadowhunters started off real crunchy in Season 1 (everything from the CG to the directing/writing to the acting was very amateur), and idek if SyFy could keep up the upward momentum and higher quality that Season 2 and especially S03A delivered. And on that same note, I doubt HBO would want it, not when they’ve got powerhouses like Game of Thrones over there doing The Most and making that bookoo money.

But at this point, I don’t even care. Networks save the shows they want to save. Even if a zillion fans scream and shout bloody murder, if the showrunners & co don’t get those coins rolling in, the show will be dropped like a hot potato. Gold. Just thrown down the drain. They don’t care about anyone but themselves.

Burke said the network is at peace with the decision ... “They delivered what the fans wanted...I remember being at Comic-Con and seeing the excitement for the show and thinking, ‘This could be our Supernatural,'” referring to the genre staple that the CW just renewed for its 14th season.

Yeah, YOU THOUGHT. Supernatural’s on it’s 666th frikkin season, meanwhile Freeform couldn't find its own arse with both hands in broad daylight to do anything to keep promoting the show and get the funds and support to renew it for Season 4!

This all just blows my mind though. Shadowhunters is THE most popular (and frankly, only RELEVANT) show on Freeform. It’s been carrying the network this whole time! How do they not have the money!? Malec literally singlehandedly won them a dang GLAAD award!

And you know what KILLS ME is that not only are they taking away the show, but they’re depriving me of one of my all-time favorite fictional characters EVER.

My beautiful, freewheeling bisexual Asian High Warlock of Brooklyn. That flawless bish, that sexy beast, that campy queen, that quite magical wonderful beautiful waking dream of a man.

Harry’s portrayal of Magnus is just dripping in charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent; I can’t. And to be BRUTALLY honest, Magnus is the only reason I kept watching the show. Harry Shum Jr was holding it down in Season 1 -- if it wasn't for him acting the roof off in every single scene, I wouldn’t have kept watching at all. Season 1 wasn’t that good, and that’s the T.

I didn’t like most of the other characters. I hated every single Shadowhunter -- including Alec (Izzy was hot though), and if Valentine wasn’t a racist bigot I’d be on his side and be like: just kill all these Shadowhunters, girl, bye~~!

So it just shocks me to my core that Freeform would make a move like this. Malec carried that whole show. No one cares about Clace. Climon was anathema. Sia’s cute and all, but lbr everyone’s sitting on pins & needles just waiting for Sizzy to rise. Only reason I even heard of this show was because a bunch of the fanfic authors & fan-artists I’m subscribed to at AO3 started writing Malec fics, which I was skipping over at first, but then the fandom blogs I follow here on Tumblr kept reblogging The Wedding scene, and I was like WTF IS THIS.

The most iconic episode of Shadowhunters was literally titled MALEC! XD Freeform, you had GOLD! DIAMONDS. Recognition. Representation. Stupid.

This whole cancellation controversy smells like network stunts and shows. They’re doing this on purpose. And during PRIDE MONTH, no less. WOW. How skeevy can y'all get?

I’m thoroughly disgusted.

So, yeah. That’s the state of things right now. I'M VENTING.

I’m just very upset, because Malec is one of my top favorite ships. But regardless of whether the show is killed off for good or not, I’m gonna keep posting my TS3 Malec Gameplays, the same way I do for my Nagron Gameplays (Spartacus ended in like 2013, and I’m still here, so.... :P ).

I’m just apologizing in advance to all my followers both here and at my Personal blog and Wishes blog -- I’m gonna be reblogging a lot of posts, to do my part in keeping #SaveShadowhunters trending as much as I can during this year effing long hiatus. So if those who follow me don’t care about all this...oh well.

#saveshadowhunters #pickupshadowhunters #shadowhunters #malec #LGBTQIA #replies #RANT ALERT #saltier than a cup of cup noodles

108 notes · View notes

ourimpavidheroine · 7 years

Note

so are you saying you never want a comment that disagrees with you? sorry, not trying to be rude, just asking. I don't mean the other kind of comments like transphobic or whatever.

Well, I’m glad you don’t mean transphobic comments (or any others of that ilk) because no one needs to justify and/or explain deleting those.

What it comes down to is the difference between critique and criticism. A fair amount of readers don’t know (or care, in some cases!) the difference between the two.

A critique is something that the writer (or artist, or whomever) could potentially find useful in improving their craft.

A criticism is simply complaining about what you don’t like. There is no benefit at all to the creator in question.

So let me give an example:

CRITIQUE

Wait, I’m confused here. Is Wu in love with Qi or not? It’s not clear from that last chapter.

Why is this helpful? Well, it tells me that the reader is not picking up what I am putting down, so to speak. Now, there could be several reasons for this. It might be that I have not played all of my cards yet - I may have something planned and I am deliberately writing a slow reveal. In which case, all is well! It might be, however, that I have something clear in my head but I am not getting it across to my readers as well as I think I am. In which case, this is very important information! This is good feedback! I can go back and look at my work with a critical eye and say, you know, the reader is right and I am being too vague here, so I need to address this with more clarity in the next chapter (or whatever). I have gotten these kinds of comments and I always publish them. I value them, very much.

CRITICISM

I was really into this story until you introduced polyamory. It’s a terrible idea. I hate it.

What is the purpose of this remark? Will it help me to improve as a writer? No, it won’t. Will I change my story line because of it? Not even close. Is there anything that I, as a writer, can do with this remark? Absolutely not. But see, that’s the entire point of criticism. When people post comments like that it is all for themselves. There is no real exchange of ideas happening there; there is no response I can give as a writer to them that will be satisfactory. I am certainly not going to apologize because a reader doesn’t like what I have done with a story, be it characterization or plot. Why on earth would I apologize? I’m not sorry I wrote it that way. The reader is under absolutely no obligation to continue reading my story; they certainly haven’t paid for it. Only once has any of the readers leaving these kinds of comments been a reader that had left any kind of other feedback for me. In other words, people who make those kinds of comments have never bothered to engage with me before and are still not engaging with me. They just want to make a dramatic exit and have the last word. Why on earth should I indulge them in this?

I’ve been active on the internet since 1992; I have watched the rise of the comment section trolls. They don’t actually care about whatever it is they are trolling, despite their strident claims to the contrary. They’re just there to fuck shit up. People who care about something want to enjoy engaging with other fans, not proving other fans wrong. That’s your litmus test, right there. Is this person trying to engage with me in mutual enjoyable discourse or are they there to prove me wrong? If it is the former, then go for it, even if it might get a little heated (because that happens sometimes). If it is the latter, then fuck ‘em.

As I said earlier, my own personal troll here doesn’t actually like my fic and has said that directly. They are reading it for no other reason than to make horrible comments on it. (And this only came about after months of not actually reading my fanfic but coming here on Tumblr and asking my “opinion” on ATLA and/or TLOK which was a transparent excuse to reblog my answers with really nasty commentary on them, attempting to somehow prove me wrong. It was only after I stopped biting on their Asks that they actually went and started reading my fanfic.) I’m not going to help them do that by leaving their comments up on my work; it’s abuse, plain and simple, and I do not feel under any obligation to help an abuser. Especially not my own. My troll has tried over and over again to tell me that I am wrong for deleting their comments, by the way. They absolutely want me to help them by being complicit in my own abuse. Which is, in fact, a textbook abuser’s move; hell, it’s number one on the list. And it’s just not going to happen.

I have watched a lot of young and/or fragile writers pour their hearts and souls into writing fanfic, only to walk away because a reader felt entitled to leave useless, unhelpful and sometimes even cruel criticism. That goes for young artists as well; I’ve seen the absolutely horrible bullying that goes on here on Tumblr. Sending Asks telling an artist to kill themselves! What the actual fuck! It’s why, quite frankly, I have gently dissuaded my daughter from getting a Tumblr account and posting her art here. Those kinds of comments would devastate her. There is a big difference between telling an artist, “Hey, you know, I see you whitewashed Korra there, and as a person of color I’d really like to tell you why that’s a hurtful thing to do us and oh here are some links that explain about it as well,” and telling them to kill themselves or die in a fire or never draw again. But see, that’s the thing. There is a real sense of entitlement that comes with leaving criticism that just blows my mind. To me, it reads as if the consumer of the art thinks that the creator actually owes them something, even if that something is forcing them to pay attention to the consumer by leaving unhelpful, rude and sometimes even abusive commentary. I strongly disagree with this. Creators are not obligated to their fans. Or as Neil Gaiman once famously put it, “[The Creator] is not your bitch.”

It’s not that big a leap to go from leaving a comment telling a creator that you don’t like something to stalking someone online to making actual threats and/or doxxing them. The anonymity of the internet makes it very easy, in fact. Internet trolls that cross over the line from being an entitled asshole to engaging in actual illegal behavior had to start somewhere. And that start isn’t by reading half a chapter of fic and backing out to find something else they like better or just scrolling past art they don’t like, you know?

Every single time a writer leaves up garbage commentary on their work, they are giving their tacit approval of a reader’s belief that they are entitled to shit all over said work.

It’s not the same when it comes to a professional writer, of course. For one thing, they are being paid for their work. For another, reviews on Goodreads or Amazon or on review sites aren’t about engaging the author in discourse about their work. Authors (unless they are Anne Rice or something, wooo-weee) are not responding to reviews. Reviews are all about readers getting their chance to let other readers know how they felt about the work. Dude, if I am going to be shelling out cold hard cash for a book then I’d like to read some nuanced reviews of it first, for sure. I ignore the stupid troll ones, of course. Most of those get downvoted anyhow because nobody likes a troll but a troll.

That being said…do we leave reviews on AO3 or Tumblr in order to tell other readers how we felt about a writer’s work? No. We do not. We leave comments, because we are engaging in fandom discourse with the writer, someone else who loves the fandom as much as we do.

Reviews and comments are not the same thing, kids. There’s a reason why they are two separate words. There is a reason why AO3 and Tumblr (and fanfiction.net, etc.) very deliberately use the word comments and why Goodreads and Amazon and The National Book Review use the word review. Language matters.

In other words, comments ≠ reviews.

Fanfic is not the same as original published work. Fandom is made up of people who love their particular fandom; fanfic is written by writers that are creating transformative works out of love. (Not that we wouldn’t mind money or anything, but that’s not the end goal.) Two completely separate worlds. Sure, sometimes the lines get blurred - I myself once met a writer at a signing whom I admired and embarrassed the hell out of myself by fangirling all over him. (He was very gracious about it.) But he was there to do a signing, not chitterchat over Tumblr for hours over why it is Bolin can lavabend but not metalbend. Totally different scenario. There are quite a few published writers here on Tumblr who engage with their fans, but they are still not engaging with them over their book reviews, I can tell you that much.

And in any case, who the hell scrolls down on AO3 to read all of the comments before they read the fanfic anyhow? I’m not saying that it couldn’t happen, I’m just saying it’s not the general practice. Not even fanfic readers are using the comments section as a means of deciding whether or not they want to read a fic. People read the tags and the summaries and go by word of mouth when it comes to choosing a fanfic to read. Again - comments section, not a review section!

Some fandom creators can handle critique or criticism and some can’t. Some writers leave up all the shit commentary on their fics and that’s fine. It’s their choice and I’m all about choice! But for me, I’m not going to be any part of teaching a reader on AO3 that they are entitled to shit all over someone’s work just because they don’t understand what the hell the comments section is for. I surely am not going to allow them to think that it is okay to be an asshole in my comments section just because they think it is somehow their god-given right to be one. Freedom of speech does not mean I have to let you take a dump all over my front lawn, you feel me? Go crap all over your own space.

It may not hurt me, a crusty old bitch who could care less if some stranger off the internet is offended by polyamory. But it could hurt and discourage other fanfic writers and anyone who has followed me for any length of time knows how much of a Tumblr Mom I am. I want to encourage new creators. I want to support them as they feel their way about, as they try to improve their work. I try to give as much written support as I can in terms of commenting, reblogging, etc. But I also want them to understand that they are not under any obligation to deal with the haters. Comments are not meant to be reviews; they sure as hell are not meant to be criticism. Leaving up hate on my own work does not get that message across to either the haters or the creators who are having to deal with that hate, as far as I am concerned. And that’s why I won’t do it.

#administrative post #suicide cw #trolls #abuse cw #anonymous

4 notes · View notes