#especially when the losers say/do the exact same things as adults without even noticing/remembering

[incorrect-losers]

Mike: One time I witnessed two of my friends bickering and this is how it went

Bill: Everything that leaves your mouth is stupid

Richie: Bill Denbrough!

Mike: To this day, I laugh out loud in inappropriate settings because I still randomly think about it

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Bella and Beauford (your version of Beau) are twins, similar features (brown eyes), similar chip on their shoulder, similar flowery language, and Ed can't read either of their minds and both smell like grade A beefcakes. Both move to Forks. What kind of mess do you think will go down? 030 Does Eddie boi get the harem he's never wanted? How much can we destroy the B&B team self esteem? Find out on today's episode of the What if Muffin chronicles~! - Sw

Beauford is a reoccurring guest star on this blog.

Think Bella directly plastered onto a boy: absurdly pretty, still clumsy, still terribly introverted and awful socially, and smells like heroin to one Edward Cullen.

With that, onto your question

The Rules

To set some ground rules that are set in the post, I'm presuming both, somehow, are Edward's singer. Now, given that it's Bella and Beauford (fraternal twins), I'd say this is highly unlikely. Singers are rare, and Charlie and Renee don't notably smell like high quality heroin to Edward. More likely, Bella would be the singer, and Beauford would just smell generally nice (but not murder all of Biology nice).

It's also unlikely they'd have the same exact gift, or a gift that expresses itself in the same manner, blocking Edward out of their minds.

But the rules are set, both are Edward's singer, and both have Bella's absurdly powerful gift.

They're for all intents and purposes the same fucking person that somehow got stuffed in two different gendered bodies. The real genesis of this AU: Renee was abducted by aliens while pregnant and her unborn child experimented on. Beauford is, in fact, Bella's identical twin. Beauford is actually Bella's male clone grown in the womb.

After Bella and Beauford reach sexual maturity they'll be beamed back up into space and put into a zoo on Traflamador. (Except not because that would derail this post... The test pilot on Traflamador blew up their planet before Bella and Beauford could phone home. It's not important.)

Bella, Beauford, and the Time Before Forks

Bella and Beauford are probably frightfully codependent for a few reasons that go by the name of Renee. Renee's still out to lunch parenting, and it falls to Bella and Beauford to take care of adult responsibilities from a very young age.

Bella and Beauford come home from school to an empty house, are the ones to go grocery shopping, pay the bills, pay the taxes, do the laundry, pretty much anything that has "adult responsibility" stamped on it.

As a result, they don't really have time to make friends with kids out of school, and they quickly realize that they're the only ones they can depend on in their lives. More, they're the only ones who get each other on any level.

They're both social outcasts, both not what their mother wanted, both have to deal with their mother, and if they ever get in trouble then it's their sibling that they're going to call. Because no one else will ever be there.

I imagine both Bella and Beauford cling to each other tightly with both hands.

Which, of course, makes things weird.

There's getting along with your twin sibling then there's... only getting along with your twin sibling.

Bella and Beauford have lunch together, by themselves, every day in Phoenix. They partner together on everything and are very displeased if they're forced into a group project with anyone else. They participate in all the same activities and if one isn't allowed to do it then the other quits (yes, Beauford tried to get into ballet class, when Renee put her foot down Bella quit right then and there). They wear each other's clothes, if they can't, then those clothes never get worn (Bella never wears the few dresses in her closet). They actually remember their made up secret twin language and lapse into it accidentally from time to time. They're anxious when they're not in the same classes and meet up after every single class to walk down the hallways together. Rather than have any friends, most of their free time is spent at home reading the same books in the same room. They don't even talk about how amazing Heathcliff is, because they know the other knows.

I imagine they channel such the twins from The Shining. Absurdly good looking, beautiful, kids but good god what is wrong with them?

The Decision to Move

When Phil enters the picture seriously, he's not just a new boyfriend, Bella and Beauford sit down to discuss their options. Neither is quite sure how they feel about Phil.

He's awfully young, but he seems to be good for Renee, and is actually capable of paying his taxes (unlike Renee). He can probably be depended upon not to run off and to make sure Renee is taken care of.

However what about Bella and Beau?

With Bella and Beau going to school, they can't travel across the country every few weeks following Phil. Now, in theory, Renee could abandon them to follow Phil. This wouldn't make much of a difference in their daily lives (might, in fact, make things easier in a way as then Beau/Bella can just handle all the cooking rather than Renee even attempting to). However, Renee would never want to admit she's been leaving her kids to their own devices for years, and would feel horribly guilty to leave them behind.

As it is, they've already told Renee she can go on and travel with Phil and she refused, stating she had to be there for her kids.

There's also that Phil keeps trying to bond with Beau especially. As if he thinks it will be easier to bond with the teenage stepson vs. the stepdaughter. That hasn't been going well, Beau would like to avoid that if at all possible.

On the other hand... Forks, wet, cold, and being the children of the police chief's runaway bride.

Ultimately, the pair come to the same decision Bella came to in canon. They want their mother to be happy, feel desperately like third wheels, and if making Renee happy necessitates going to Forks then to Forks they shall go.

At least they'll have each other, and in the end, that's all that really matters.

Arriving in Forks

Bella and Beau arrive in Forks and receive the same reception they would otherwise. But more so. Holy god, the high school population says, it's the Cullens 2.0.

Eerily pale, beautiful, siblings, who are both sensitive intellectuals (and are also weirdly incestuous acting). All the guys want to date Bella and all the girls want to date Beau (some vice versa but they're not admitting that in a public high school in 2005).

The guys (Mike, Tylor, Eric, etc.) aren't all that thrilled by Beau's presence, he's major competition and day one is attracting all the attention. However, they see him as a way to get an in with Bella, he can set them up on a date and put in a good word. If they become his best friend, they have an excuse to go to his house, where Bella will be.

The girls (even Lauren who was initially very pissed off about Bella's sudden popularity) are much the same. Bella's overrated, but good god, that beautiful brother of hers. If they become Bella's best friend, they can have sleep overs, and might be able to see Beau without a shirt on. No matter Bella's stuffy personality, that hot brother is worth it.

Lunch that first day, as a result, is even more awful than it was in canon. Bella and Beauford, while generally oblivious about themselves, are very observant when it becomes to the behavior of others regarding their sibling.

They have an emergency meeting in the truck after school and come to the same conclusion: Bella/Beau, this entire school of hicks wants in your pants. Dump them all.

Both Bella and Beauford end the day supremely annoyed but reconfirm their commitment to this Forks plan. Beau predicts than in six months they'll be losers again and they'll go back to having lunch by themselves.

But what about the Cullens?

Edward, The Cullens, and Biology

As in canon, both Beauford and Bella notice the entrance of the alien procession into the cafeteria and ask "what the fuck?"

Nobody's thrilled about answering, because no one wants to lose Bella/Beauford to the Cullens of all people (the girls sigh with relief as, at least for them, all the lady Cullens seem to be dating one of the other guys. Beau is safe. The possibility of Edward/Beau is one they dare not contemplate in those five seconds.)

Still, Jessica reluctantly gives the run down. These are the Cullens, they moved in two years ago, are absurdly wealthy, beautiful, and supposedly not actually related. They're all dating each other. No, seriously, they are. Except the hot ginger, Edward, but don't bother because he's an ass.

Both Bella and Beauford think Jessica doth protest too much about Edward and internally give the Cullens the same bisexual Bella ranking: Rosalie, Edward (after a bit of thought), and then the rest of them.

Edward, for his own part, notes that he can't seem to hear either's thoughts. Weird. He concludes that the pair are highly overrated and he can't believe the school's so agog over the pair of them. Stupid teenagers.

Then Biology happens.

The pair open the door and good god, Edward Cullen is a demon. Luckily for them, they have each other. There may be an open seat next to Edward Cullen but Bella and Beauford go "NOPE". You see, teacher, we always sit together. No, really, we ALWAYS sit together.

The teacher is weirded out but it's so weird he actually has nothing to say to that. There's only one immediately open seat anyway, and two new students, so they're clearly in trouble with seating arrangements anyway. So he says, "Um, sure, go sit with Angela I guess." Angela is now in an overcrowded table with both Bella and Beauford, her original partner gleefully goes to sit with hottie Edward (then is in dismay sitting with Edward because this guy looks terrifying today). The twins, throughout Biology, are staring down Edward Cullen.

Edward, of course, has smelled the scent of the gods and is going through his personal hell on earth. He devises his many schemes of how he's going to murder Biology before he can get to the pair of them (Angela, for the record, gets smashed into a wall for the honor of being in Edward's way). Then, he doesn't know which he'd start on, he can't tell which scent comes from which. He tells himself he'll toss a coin, heads the boy goes first, then tails the girl.

Still, thinking of Carlisle's sad, disapproving, face as Edward massacres a room filled with children allows Edward to hold on through Biology. He'll murder them after school. Then of course he's able to clear his head and flees to Alaska.

In the meantime, thanks to being hyperaware of their sibling, and now having someone to talk to and confirm their suspicions with: Edward Cullen is Ted Bundy. This guy is creepy, dangerous, and in that moment it looked as if he was going to kill one or both of them. Bella/Beauford would be alright, though disappointed, if they were murdered then left in a dumpster. But their sibling die and meet that same awful fate? Not ever allowed to happen.

Bella and Beau have the world's most tense drive home and tense night taking turns taking guard and sleeping in the same room. Every time one questions if they're, maybe, just maybe, a little paranoid about this, the other confirms that "NOPE, THAT DUDE WAS SCARY".

They can't tell Charlie, he wouldn't believe them and they have no evidence, but when Edward tries to climb through their window maybe one of them will get in a good hit with the baseball bat (they won't, they're both debilitatingly clumsy).

The next day, to their confusion and relief, Edward Cullen isn't at school. He's not there the day after that either, or the day after that...

Beau and Bella start to relax, if only a little bit.

Edward, Alaska, and the Prodigal Son Returns

Edward in Alaska calms down and goes through the same thought process he did in canon. He keeps picturing the twins' faces, his obsession beginning to blossom, and convinces himself that he can't let these unremarkable humans get in the way of his life and his family.

After a week of brooding, much to Carlisle's horror, Edward returns to Forks and goes straight back to school. Specifically, he wants to do damage control with the twins and see just how much they actually noticed.

This goes worse than in canon.

First, Edward has to approach their shared table with Angela like a loser. There, Bella and Beau clearly don't want to talk at him, at all, and both clearly vividly remember exactly what happened last Biology class.

Edward barely gets a word in before he has to go to his seat. When he notices Bella, Beau, and Angela get their lab done as quickly as him (thanks to Bella and Beau), he tries again.

Bella and Beau both ask to go to the bathroom. (Yes, teacher, at the same time. Don't question this.) They don't come back. Edward, after ten minutes, also goes to the bathroom. He finds the pair in their giant, red, truck in the parking lot, deep in conversation (trying to figure out what the fuck is up with Edward Cullen).

He approaches them again, being as charming as possible. This has the opposite effect. Directed towards only them, Beau/Bella would probably let this slide. Directed towards Beloved Sibling, their "DANGER, WILL ROBINSON" sirens are blaring in their head. Beau floors it, and the pair tear out of the parking lot as fast as the truck will take them, they're telling Charlie they're taking a sick day. What will they do next Biology class? FUCK IF THEY KNOW.

Edward, standing in the parking lot with his mouth open, feels very very embarrassed and ashamed. He is a man eating demon and these two are perfectly aware of it. The rest of the Cullens find him there not long after, they find this both sad and hilarious.

Bella and Beau Get Hit by a Van

Well, this would all be well and good. Edward tells himself that if the pair are so determined to avoid him then he'll just avoid them. Problem solved. More, the pair don't seem to be chatterboxes, there's no weird rumors spreading about Edward Cullen or his siblings. At least, no more than usual.

Instead, it seems that everyone's trying to ask the twins to the dance, and are very confused when the twins say that they're going with each other. Sibling policy. You see. (They don't see, nobody sees, this is weird.)

Then it happens. Bella nearly gets hit by a van, Edward saves her, with Beau as a full not-concussed witness. FUCK. Bella and Beau travel to the hospital, Edward driving along behind them, and then after Carlisle checks Bella out they have their awkward talk.

Bella wants to insist that Edward was clearly the one who saved her, with his strange superhuman strength, but thanks to twin telepathy (which either is actual telepathy or is just reading twin body language, who even knows) knows that Beau wants her to shut up. They say nothing, the truth isn't important.

Instead, Beau states that he was the one who pulled Bella out of the way, Bella's just confused. Edward stares at Beau like he's an alien. Beau just smiles, thanks Edward for his concern, then throws Edward out of the room.

Bella and Beau madly discuss that Edward's clearly not human. More, while he saved her life today and that was very noble of him, neither has truly forgotten how he was in that first day of Biology. More, did you see him now? He clearly wanted, desperately for Bella to not remember what happened. He crushed that van like a pretzel, what if they told him that they saw him? What would happen to them? Beau doesn't want to take chances, not even for the truth, and in retrospect Bella doesn't either. Now is not the time to look gifted horses in the mouth.

Given Bella's injured, Beau's on full guard duty that night.

Meanwhile, the Cullens have their vote. It's even more dramatic, because instead of just one innocent, injured, witness, there's two witnesses and one was completely uninjured. Carlisle is utterly appalled that Rosalie genuinely suggests murdering them both so she doesn't have to move. He's more appalled when Edward reveals that he believes the twins may believe that Edward... wishes them harm for having witnessed his heroics.

Because the irony being that the twins are right, the family is voting on this very issue right now. And what does that say about all of them?

Thankfully for Beau and Bella, the vote goes very similarly to canon. Jasper's not convinced until Alice has her vision.

And she drops the bomb. Edward's in love with Bella, Beau will be Edward's best friend and Bella Alice's, and both Bella and her brother will be turned and join the coven.

(Now, what Alice doesn't tell Edward is that, actually, Edward's in love with them both. It's safer to say that Edward's in love with the woman, as that's what Edward will far more readily accept. Throwing Beau into that mix would just make things very messy, if Alice wants her best friend and Edward's happy ending then she has to be smart about this.)

The family has a similar reaction. Carlisle gives his, "Well, alright then" and the family doesn't move. Edward, in despair and self-hatred, heads to the Swan house to see sleeping Bella for himself.

And lo and behold, Beau has been waiting for him. Beau tries to smash Edward's face in with a bat. Unfortunately, a) Edward's a vampire, b) Beau misses.

Beau and Edward end up talking, man to man, while Bella is sleeping. Edward decides that, yes, oh woe, he is in love with Beauford's sister and confesses as much (while also confessing that he might, you know, actually be dangerous). Beau suggests that Edward stay far away from his sister.

No, there's nothing Beau can do to stop Edward. Yes, he is just a pathetic human even more pathetic than most, but he promises that he will make Edward and his family's life hell on Earth if Edward ever thinks of assaulting his sister.

Edward protests he would never, Beau points out that Edward just climbed through his injured sister's window in the dead of night. Edward... tries and fails to explain away that one.

He actually does succeed in that he explains that Bella was in danger from... his siblings. Edward had come to protect Bella, to make sure none came to harm her. It's not necessarily his siblings' fault, it's complicated but... Well, Edward was trying to be somewhat noble.

Then something strange happens. Edward finds himself fascinated by this Beauford Swan. Such courage in the world's weakest, no most delicate, body. Look at those eyelashes, his big dark eyes, his perfectly shaped features. This boy is beautiful, as beautiful as his sister, and just as courageous as she is. And look at him now, nobly facing down a demon he knows he cannot win against for the sake of his sister.

How virtuous.

Edward tells himself that what he's feeling is kinship and admiration for Beauford Swan. Bella could not have a worthier brother. Edward leaves with the promise that he'll respect Beau's wishes (Beau doesn't believe that for a second).

The next morning, Beau tells Bella that Edward's the world's biggest creep and that the Twin Watch is not stopping anytime soon. They're going to need to make a big purchase of coffee.

Edward and His Torment

As in canon, Edward decides he should nobly stay out of Bella's life. He'll see if either twin really does talk (they don't) and then he'll ignore them until they disappear. They will forget him.

They don't, but they do discuss him. See, after much pondering, the twins realize that Edward truly is a Grade A hottie. More, he's so mysterious and inhuman. In retrospect, his saving Bella's life goes a long way, and for all that he's been... menacing, he's never truly threatened them and does seem intent on protecting Bella. More, he seems to be keeping his promise: he's staying out of Bella's life and he hasn't been back to the house since (he has, but they haven't caught him, Edward waits until they both crash until he can sneak in and stare at them both).

And he's never lied about being dangerous. Their glares soften into pondering glances, wondering just what the truth of this Edward Cullen and his family really is, and wonder what it'd be like to let him into their small, insular, world that no one before has ever managed to breach in the way he has.

Bella doesn't believe he's truly interested in her, despite Beau's insistence, and wonders if he's interested in Beau. Beau, for his own part, doesn't believe Edward's interested in him and insists that he's clearly very interested in Bella.

Reluctantly, the pair conclude that Edward is something likely very dangerous, against Edward's will, but benign. Whatever it was they sensed from Edward that first day, it was not something in his control.

Helping this is Edward enabling the mysterious mystery by breaking. He can't stay away from the twins. He tells them that he's tired of staying away from them, that they shouldn't be friends, that he doesn't want to be friends (but wants to be something hint, hint, wink, wink). Except he's convinced he and Beauford are friends, dual protectors of the angel Bella Swan. If he stares a little too much at Beau's perfect figure then that's because he's the perfect, male, version of his perfect sister.

Anyway, the twins go to Long Beach with the others and the twins are now just too curious. Edward's giving them nothing and they must know. Bella flirts with Jake for information, Beau is appalled that this works, and they hear the cold ones story. That night, they both have the prophetic Slayer dream: Edward is a vampire.

Bella tells Beauford that she knows three things. One is that she's in love with Edward. Beau's not sure how to take that for a second but, being Bella's twin and on the same weird wavelength, he gets it. He's in love with Edward too.

Neither finds it strange that they both confess to being in love with the same demon and that they see no conflict of interest in this.

The pair go to Port Angeles to help Jessica and Angela pick up dresses. (Angela and Jessica aren't sure why a man is coming, but they've learned not to question this twin thing). Bella and Beau ultimately decided not to go to the dance, too risky giving the deluge of invitations they received, and instead they'll be headed to Seattle that weekend. They claim this is not a date, Angela and Jessica just stare.

Due to Beau being with Bella, though the pair get hopelessly lost looking for the book store, Bella doesn't get followed by rapists. Edward shows up anyway, as Alice saw the possibility, and takes the pair of them to romantic Italian dinner. It's weird.

He then drives them home and Bella blurts it out. Edward's a vampire, she and Beau know. Edward has his miniature meltdown and realizes that these pair of siblings forgive him this. Beau, beautiful man that he is, is giving Edward his beloved sister and Bella is giving not only herself but her wonderful brother's hand in friendship.

Edward invites them both, that's right, them both, to the meadow. Neither thinks this is strange. And when they get there. Boom, it's over, any chance to question this is gone. Both Bella and Beau are seduced by Edward's sparkling chest and his quotes about lions.

He rests his head on Bella's chest but puts his right hand on Beau's. They sit like that. For hours.

The Cullens (Again)

Well, this went from weird to fucking weirder. It was weird enough when Edward became obsessed with this rando teenage girl. Now, it turns out that Edward's a horn dog panting after bisexual twins, clearly intending to romance them both at the same time.

Carlisle dearly tries to have an intervention. He sends Esme to do it, as in canon, this doesn't work (Esme is perfectly fine with Edward's twincest fetish and thinks it's wonderful).

Alice tells a dubious Jasper that Edward and Beau are just friends. Jasper doesn't believe her, but he's not sure what to even say.

Emmett is desperately holding in Edward sandwich jokes. Desperately.

When Beau and Bella are invited to the house (together of course), the entire family has no idea what to say to them. At all. They don't know how to process this. Rosalie is actually there this time, because somebody needs to warn these two about what Edward really wants, but then they're too weird.

It's all just too weird.

And... the rest of canon happens.

The baseball game occurs, James dies, Victoria's not sure which Swan she should target and so she targets them both anyway. They're in the same damn place so it makes 0 difference.

Bella and Beau joint hallucinate Hallucination Edward, somehow, and get even weirdly more codependent in their zombie fugue state. This tanks their popularity as now there's no denying the incest. Bella and Beau don't care.

Bella and Beau reach out to get Jake to build them the motorcycles. Jake doesn't necessarily want Beau around, the dude's weird and getting in the way of Bella time, but alright. Bella and Jake's friendship doesn't take off because Bella's codependent on Beau.

They do learn about the wolves though thanks to Jake's crush on Bella. Jake never realizes that he's coming in third place not only to Edward Cullen but to Beauford Swan. He thinks he has a chance. That poor boy.

Bella and Beau jump off the cliff together, convinced they weren't committing suicide.

Alice returns, gets Bella and Beau to go to Volterra, because Edward has to see that they're both alive. There's a joyful reunion, Aro is really weirded out by this whole damn thing and has a five second pause after touching Marcus' hand. "Well." he says afterwards, "You and your brother are close. I see."

They get to go home, Aro insists they turn. Eclipse happens. Edward proposes marriage to Bella. Neither Beau nor Bella are thrilled (mostly about the marriage and also about the question of how the twin enters this equation) but ultimately Bella accepts. Bella and Edward marry publicly.

Beau is invited for the honeymoon. Edward, Bella, nor Beau question this. Everyone else does. A lot. On Isle Esme, the three confirm their commitment to each other: they have a secret marriage. Edward and Beau are both convinced they're not in a relationship. Bella and Beau are convinced they're not incestuous.

Sex is had by... someone. Unclear who.

Bella gets pregnant, this seems to confirm Edward must be the father but... Bella and Beau are both very strange, almost alien, and very gifted. There is some red in their hair. Questions the Cullens dare not speak aloud are thought, Edward doesn't seem to notice.

TL;DR Basically, the books still happen but Edward is cuckolded and enables twincest.

...

I did not see this one coming guys. I swear. I did not.

[justa-fangirl]

IT

Get ready guys, this is going to be a whopper of a post. On my second viewing I took notes so I could remember everything, and I filled up half a notebook…

Granted, some pages only have a few scribbles because I was writing in the dark of the cinema and couldn’t see how much was on each page, so sometimes I’d do a few notes and then turn over so I wouldn’t accidentally write over something else.

Luckily, it is all mostly legible (ROCK WAARRR!), even though I was writing in the dark – but whether or not I remember what I was talking about is another matter.

I know people don’t really care about others’ unsolicited opinions on movies, but I just wanted to put my thoughts down for posterity. I have been looking forward to this movie SO. MUCH. that I wanted to write down all my first impressions on my blog so I can look back at it and remember how excited I was, and how I felt when seeing it for the first few times.

Before I get down to the spoiler-y stuff, I’ll start with this:

I loved this movie with all my heart.

I wanted an adaptation I could enjoy as much as I loved the book, even if it wasn’t word-for-word. I wanted to a magnetic Pennywise I could love to hate. I wanted to spend 135 minutes hanging out with the Losers’ Club.

And that’s what I got.

Of course, there were things I didn’t like or that I wish they’d put in from the book – but I have always been so positive about this movie that I don’t want to focus on the negatives right now. Usually, I am one of those people who’s like “HOW DARE THEY CHANGE ANYTHING FROM THE BOOK! AAARGH!” But with IT, I didn’t feel that normal anxious worry – from everything I’ve read and seen about it over the past year or so, I’ve just been excited, and had faith, and it’s made the experience so much more enjoyable. And I want to keep that good feeling going, because I liked that I could just enjoy it without paying too much attention to the negatives. So yeah, there were some bits where I thought “Oh, I wish they could have added this/changed that” but I’m just not letting them bother me. I love it too much to worry about that stuff.

As for the horror aspect, I didn’t find the book too scary, and I didn’t find the movie too scary either. But that’s because I was too excited to be scared, and that’s hardly a bad thing! I didn’t mind that I only jumped once or that I won’t be having nightmares about Pennywise. I still couldn’t sleep after I saw IT, but that’s because I was so excited I was wide awake, and that is the perfect reaction to get from a movie.

So my notes below are mainly going to be just pointing out stuff I loved and enjoyed. There will be some "But"s or "I just wish they would have"s in there, but only because these are thoughts I had while watching it – they didn’t ruin the movie for me at all.

I would never want a word-for-word adaptation of the book It, anyway, and I don’t think anyone of us would. (I’m sure we’re all happy to get rid of That Scene and some of Richie’s voices.) So if I don’t want an exact copy, I think the studio making other changes is only fair, too. I liked seeing new things, so that there were some surprises in the movie. And some of the little changes were actually improvements, in my opinion. Plus, there were changes where I was simultaneously like “Oh, man, I wish they would have done it more like the book…” but also thought “I love the way they’ve done this!” (Like making Neibolt Street more prominent). So even if there were bits I missed from the book, I also really enjoyed getting to see IT in a new way.

Okay, enough unstructured rambling. Time for a bullet-point list of rambling! Under the cut because of spoilers for the book and movie.

These notes follow the order of the movie, since I made them while watching. I’m planning to make a separate post about stuff I particularly loved about the cast, because OMG THE CAST, but the notes below mainly focus on the story and stuff.

This is also unfinished, because I’ve just spent like 2 hours writing and the 21 bullet points I’ve done so far are only 5 pages of my handwritten notes. And I’ve got 62 pages more to go… I actually have stuff to do today (all of it IT related, of course) and it’s already 2 p.m. so I think I’ll just post this as is, and carry on later! Who knows how many days it will take me to finish this! 

So, my notes on IT :

Despite everything I’ve just said above about being super positive, my first note is actually a negative. (Oops, I forgot about this…) I just didn’t like the kids singing “Oranges and Lemons” at the beginning. Kids creepily singing a nursery rhyme…SO FRICKIN CLICHÉ!

I tried to make a note of all the posters in Bill’s room just because: ‘Gremlins’ above his bed, so clearly his favourite. ‘Beetlejuice’ on the wall. Possibly ‘Robocop’ near the door? I couldn’t tell. On the outside of his door (so clearly another favourite) was something that as potentially Dungeons and Dragons. It was always out of focus so I couldn’t tell, but that was my first thought – and in the credits there was a credit note for Dungeons and Dragons so it could be that. The Losers’ favourite movies and geeky interests are very important to me, and if there is any possibility of them playing D&D together, you can bet I will treasure this idea in my heart forever.

Georgie glaring at Bill as he spins around and picks up the walkie-talkie.

Georgie standing in front of the cellar door and going “Tch.”

Jackson Robert Scott going down the stairs to the cellar and whispering to himself “I’m brave” – I just wanted to cry.

At this point I was already like “Holy shit, Jackson Robert Scott is SO GOOD!” and I could have made notes about this non-stop because every time he came on-screen I was blown away. I am dedicating another post to talking about the actors’ performances, though, otherwise this post would be even longer with me singing their praises.

But bascially, someone please give Jackson Robert Scott an Oscar right now.

I loved the transition from Georgie being terrified in the cellar, stampeding up the stairs after the booming thunder clap, the tense, deep music you can feel down to your bones – and then we flash to him leaning on Bill with his arms around him, perfectly at ease now he’s with his brother, and it’s such a peaceful, touching, quiet moment between them. It made me even more sad for what was to come!

“Bill’s going to kill me.” NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (this is what I wrote down in my notebook) That line just about killed ME!

There was something so creepily off about Pennywise but I couldn’t put my finger on it for several minutes: his pupils were all over the place. It was such a great effect because it was a tiny detail that you’re looking at the whole time but you might not notice it, you just know something’s wrong with what you’re seeing.

I love Pennywise’s teeth – they remind me of a bunny. It makes him kind of sweet looking even whilst you’re thinking “He’s so disturbing!”

Pennywise: “I bet you have a lot of friends.” Georgie: “3. But my brother’s my best best.” Me: Pennywis（ ＴДＴ）

Georgie’s death…Now, I feel bad for saying this, but the idea of this scene never made me particularly sad before. I know it’s a kid getting his arm torn off and dying but I always felt so aware that it’s just the set up for the whole story. Like this is just a tool to get things moving, so the death itself seemed secondary to that. But Jackson Robert Scott made this scene a tragedy for me now. It was awful, and I was so, so sad watching it. I don’t think I’ll ever get over it, especially those screams. I mean, I’m glad it’s now sad and emotional for me because it adds to the whole film, but also fuck my life. It also made the rest of the movie so much more personal and tragic, and I completely understood and supported everything Bill did because of it. I also totally connected with the way Bill was always on the verge of tears whenever thinking about or seeing Georgie, because I was like “ME, TOO, BILL!”

That being said, I thought the CGI wasn’t that great. I’m aware they had a pretty minuscule budget, though, so I was prepared for this.

I had some conflicting thoughts about the fact that we lost Mike’s dad in the movie. I thought it was a shame to lose him because that meant there were literally no decent or supportive adult figures in the movie. (He also had some really sweet and meaningful scenes with Mike, and his interest in Derry history felt so crucial to Mike’s development). BUT, in a way, that worked because it made the dividing line between kids and adults in the story much more strict – any grown-up is evil now, basically – and therefore added to the sense of threat in Derry. HOWEVER, that message doesn’t lend itself very well to Chapter Two, where the Losers are adults. We have just been taught all adults are bad, and yet next time round the heroes will be adults themselves. It’s so conflicting. (I mean, I’m perfectly prepared to love them as adults, because I am one myself and I know we’re not all evil.)

Why were the Derry High School girls so mean? Like there was no proper explanation about why Gretta hated Bev so vehemently, apart from the fact that she was annoyed she was a slut. It seemed lazy, but at the same time I found it funny because it was like they were proper 80s movie bullies, who are just wildly horrible for no apparent reason.

On one of my later viewings I realised Bev has bruises on her arm. You never find out where they’re from, and they could maybe just be from normal kids stuff...but it really seemed like someone must have done something to her. It was really subtle, but if you notice the bruise you just get such a sick, tragic feeling down to the pit ofyour stomach so I thought it was really effective.

One of the few things that I really didn’t like and which left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth was how they changed the Barrens into a purely negative place. In the book, this is the Losers’ safe place. Here they get to have fun and be themselves on their own terms, and some of the best, happiest scenes play out here. (I mean, yes, bad shit happens there, too, but that’s the nature of Derry.) But in the movie, the Barrens was a place Bill was forcing them to go out of his obsession over finding Georgie and it made all the others uncomfortable. It was a shame the Barrens got turned into a negative place. Even though we got to see the Losers having fun elsewhere in Derry, I missed the Barrens because that’s where I always picture the kids having fun. (I’m going to pretend that the quarry was in the Barrens. It may actually be, I’m not sure.)

Richie doing Street Fighter training = Yes. Good.

“She’s not dead. She’s missing.” I loved this line, and some similar ones later, where Bill is making this distinction. Since we fell in love with Georgie in the beginning ourselves, you really feel for him, wanting to believe his little brother is still alive. And because he was just so sad about it (again, gushing about the actors in another post), I understood how the other Losers couldn’t bring themselves to tell him “Georgie is dead.” You know it’s wrong of them to go along with it, but you understand why they can’t say anything.

Ben’s intro was also the absolute best. You got everything that is Ben Hanscom wrapped up in a few minutes: he cares about school and the work he produces, he’s clever and cunning (leaving school without Henry seeing him), full of hope and energy and positivity so you feel like he’d be a great person to know, but also just incredibly lonely and a bit awkward around people at first because he’s not used to spending time with anyone. Also super hardcore in love with Bev. His little face as she’s singing his yearbook! I saw the film 6 times over the opening weekend, and that never failed to get an “Awww” from some girls in the audience. II thought it was a fantastic character intro.

They never explained why Henry was looking for Ben. I mean, they didn’t need to – Henry is The Local Bully, we get it. But it was a shame we didn’t get to hear about Ben standing up to Henry in the end of year exams, because that was damn brave! And it probably would have been more impressive with him being “The New Kid.”

Speaking of which, how new is “new”? Like, it’s the end of the school year – when did Ben move to Derry? I would feel for him if it was the end of the year, that is a terrible time to move a new school. So it would have been good if they could have found a way to slip that in – I would have felt even more sorry for him.

Ben walking away with his headphones trailing behind = relatable.

At this point in my notes, I wrote “literally all of them are phenomenal” and please imagine this comment after every bullet point in this list because HOLY SHIT LITERALLY ALL OF THEM ARE PHENEMONAL! I had had absolute faith in this cast the whole time, because every interview, Instagram or clip I saw just filled me with confidence. It may seem naïve to think that way, but in the end I wasn’t disappointed so I don’t care. Like I can die happy because I feel like I’ve seen the quintessential Losers’ Club.

Although we didn’t really get to see any of Bill’s parents’ coldness and neglect, I did like the hint of it we saw in the interaction between Bill and his dad when Bill comes home from school. He sees his dad and his eyes kind of light up and he offers to help him with chores. Like no kid wants to hang out with their dad and do chores. But Bill is desperate to be noticed by his parents and involved in their lives again, and he thinks for a moment he might have a chance. But then no, and it’s heartbreaking.

When we saw the burnt hands in the trailer a while ago, I just assumed that Mike’s fear revolved around the Black Spot. It seemed to make sense - not only because racist cults/terrorists are horrifying but because it would bring in some of the history of the cycles that Mike could then share with the others. I was kind of surprised the burnt hands represented how Mike’s parents died in a fire, because the fact that there were so many hands didn’t make sense to me. It definitely looked creepy, but I think it would have been more powerful if it was just his parents’ hands at least.

My brother pointed out that Mike’s Pennywise scene was particularly loud, and made it all the more disturbing. I hadn’t really noticed that first time round, but I fully agreed the next time I watched it.

I also found the animal noises creepy af because I couldn’t figure out what was going on. Like was Pennywise hanging off a sheep and eating it, or just pretending to be a sheep? It was just weird and wrong, so I felt the whole thing was off-putting - and therefore doing it’s job. And Pennywise’s slow turn and wave as his eyes light up - genuinely creepy. I loved that bit.

Bowers, on the other hand… Shrieking “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY TOWN!” followed by him throwing a cigarette butt at Mike. It just seemed super lame compared to Pennywise, and I bet Mike felt the same. For once in his life he was probably like “omg, thank God, it’s just Henry Bowers.” Which shows you just how damn terrifying Pennywise is!

If you haven’t already, watch Belch’s face as he laughs at Mike and then gives him the finger. It’s hilarious. 

At this point in my notes “emotional story” but I can’t remember what that means...

Also, in the scene where Mike first sees Pennywise we also get our only decent adult in Derry: the guy who comes out of the Quality Meats place and says “Mike...are you okay?” Bless this guy in his bloody apron, he’s all us adult viewers have to make us feel like we’re not the enemy here.

I loved Stan’s fear of the painting. It’s the kind of thing I think we can all relate to. Like when you’re a kid, isn’t there always some perfectly ordinary object or picture or song that just sends chills down your spine, but nobody else seems to mind it so you can’t really admit you’re scared of it? It reminded me of Georgie’s fear of the cellar - he doesn’t want to admit he’s afraid of it because he knows it’s a normal place, and other people go down there, and Bill’s not scared of it, and it’s in his own home so it should be perfectly safe. But none of that really dampens the power of the cellar, and it’s still a symbol of fear.

I went to see the movie in 4D and one of the effects was that the lights in the cinema flickered whenever they did in the movie. This would really effective because it made it seem like Pennywise’s influence was reaching out into the real world, too. So when the lights were flickering above Mr. Uris’s bookshelf they also flickered in the cinema and for a second I was genuinely like “Shiiiiiiiit! Pennywise could actually pop out of the screen!”

When you see the vague shape of the woman’s hands behind Stan in the shadows and she drops the flute - that was one of my favourite scary moments in the movie.

I’m sad that Stan never got his bird moment. In the book, I think he was the first one to fight back against It, and you were kind of in awe of him after that. 

I loved the Derry Children’s Hour TV show that was always playing in the background. That was a great touch because you got to see how pervasive Pennywise’s influence was in Derry. Plus, it was just plain creepy.

I was disappointed in some of the negative/cowardly things they made Eddie say. He questioned Bill “First you said the Barrens and now the sewer. What if we get caught?” And then there was the whole “What if I don’t want to find them?” bit. Like whatever happened to the fact that Eddie would die for Bill? It just seemed wrong to play around with that intense loyalty he had, because that’s such a positive thing about Eddie’s character in the book. Yes, he’s scared and doesn’t necessarily want to get involved in this monster drama (I mean, none of them WANT this) but he would never say “I don’t want to help you find Georgie.” My sister has never read the book or seen the original miniseries, but when she saw this scene in an advert with Eddie saying “What if I don’t want to find them?” and “No offense Bill, but I don’t want to end up like…” my sister was like “Woah, that’s not right. You would never say that to your best friend.”

“Eddie Bear” = love. Stephen King missed a trick with that one.

I also loved when the boys wore shirts for places in Derry which we didn’t get to see in the movie, like Freese’s, Tracker Bros. and the Bike & Cycle Shop. I also found it really funny, though, because it’s like why are Bill and Richie wearing shirts for local stores? Like imagine kids wandering round with Wal-Mart shirts or whatever. But it didn’t detract from my enjoyment of the shirts, it actually made me like them more.

“Do you want one from me, too, Mrs K?” = best line.

“Sorry, mommy!” No, THIS is the best line. How does he be so freaking adorable!

Ben’s shirts are amazing. I like how they gave him some embarrassing clothes, even if it was different from the book. You still got the same idea, and I think it was a great touch.

I thought the scene where Ben is flipping through the History of Old Derry photos was great. He gets to that picture of the tree and he just keeps going and going and the photo zooms closer and closer. And as much as I was trying to figure out what I was looking at, it was also making me stressed out because I knew I wouldn’t want to see what the picture was up close. It was really tense. I also liked how the picture number stayed at 149 every time Ben flipped the page, like Pennywise is just playing with him and is trying to get him to look at a horrible photo that will keep Ben awake at night.

It took me until my 10th time seeing the movie to notice that fucing HORRIFYING woman in the background at the library. My brother had mentioned it to me (he saw it first time round!) and I’d seen a post about it on tumblr, but I always forgot to watch out for her. Then I finally spotted her and she’s genuinely the scariest part of the movie for me!! I hope we find out more about this in the DVD because they HAD to have been planning something with this.

When we saw that movie still ages ago of the egg on the floor, I completely didn’t clock that it would be a reference to the Easter Ironworks explosion. It seemed so obvious as soon as I saw it in the actual film, so I enjoyed that “oooooooh!” moment.I thought the archives scene was great. I know everyone laugh at the “Egg boy.” bit but I actually just found it scary because all of a sudden the music cuts and you hear a deep voice that definitely doesn’t belong to that headless kid.

Ben kicking Henry in the chest and then flipping backwards over the fence into the Barrens was a fucking baller scene. I loved it.

At this point in my notes, I wrote one sentence over another one and I can’t read either of them...I’m sure they were very deep and insightful.

We only got one brief Morlock hole! I was totally expecting it to come back, and then it never did. I didn’t mind that they made 29 Neibolt Street the entrance to It’s lair, though, because that place is fucking iconic. But I felt bad for the Morlock Holes getting shunted from the movie! I imagine the Morlock holes and 29 Neibolt Street having a horror movie location rivalry. Like the Morlock holes think they’re scarier because you go down into a confined space, and 20 Neibolt Street is like “excuse you, I’m literally a haunted fun house.”

When we saw Patrick loping off to chase Ben my brother leaned over to me and whispered “He looks like the poor man’s Adam Driver.”

Speaking of Patrick, he was fucking creepy! I mean, even though we didn’t get any of his backstory (which is fine, we don’t need it in a 2 hour movie) the actor managed to make really off-putting just through his movements and facial expressions. Total props to Owen Teague. The way he kind of loomed over everyone, smiled weirdly, kept licking his licks, his lopey walk…*shudder*

Eddie’s scream when Richie throws grey water rags at him

The whole banter between Richie and Eddie during this scene. I’d watched it over and over on YouTube because that was the clip they released during the MTV Awards or something, I think, but damn it was still so good.

“It’s summer!” I fricking loved this line every time it came up. It really felt like something a kid would say in this context: like completely meaningless to the situation (monsters don’t wait because it’s summer) but still feels reasonable because kids feel they are owed summer to do whatever they want.

I’m just going to copy-paste an earlier bullet point here because it’s relevant again and I really didn’t like it because they screwed over my Eddie! I was disappointed in some of the negative/cowardly things they made Eddie say. I mean, “What if I don’t want to find them?” Like whatever happened to the fact that Eddie would die for Bill? It just seemed wrong to play around with that intense loyalty he had, because that’s such a positive thing about Eddie’s character in the book. Yes, he’s scared and doesn’t necessarily want to get involved in this monster drama (I mean, none of them WANT this) but he would never say “I don’t want to help you find Georgie.” My sister has never read the book or seen the original miniseries, but when she saw this scene in an advert with Eddie saying “What if I don’t want to find them?” and “No offense Bill, but I don’t want to end up like…” my sister was like “Woah, that’s not right. You would never say that to your best friend.”

Don’t think I didn’t clock “Eddie, come on.”

Eddie’s whole conversation with himself as they’re biking towards the pharmacy, jfc so good

“How do you amputate a WAIST?!”

“Glad I got to meet you before you died.” and then Richie’s awkward shuffle - I just wanna hug him!!

Loved the Bradley Gang mural. I know we didn’t get the full story, but just the fact that this was painted on the wall implies that the town was okay with it and proud of the events, which is super dark when you realise what the mural is showing.

Eddie grabbing everything he needs from the pharmacy without even needing to look where the first aid supplies are. Iconic.

Bev in front of all tampons and pads, also iconic. I still do that every time I need to restock because it’s like overwhelming every time.

Bev flirting with Mr. Keene really didn’t sit right with me. You could interpret her biggest fear as growing up and/or being sexualised, so it just felt ridiculous for her to use her sexuality for her own advantage. Like she’s not comfortable with it, so she wouldn’t be able to just wield it around for her own purposes. But I suppose you could say she was able to do it because she knew it would help the Losers, and that’s very brave and strong of her to face a big fear like that without really even knowing the boys properly yet.

My 19-year old brother didn’t realise that Mr. Keene was supposed to be creepy. -_- When I said “There were no good adults in the film” he was like”What about the guy at the pharmacy?” I was like “Did you not see the way he looked at BEV?!” Whenever he does that slow look up her chest to her face and says “Well, how about that, you look just like Lois Lane” I ALWAYS hear some women in the audience groaning in disgust.

Everything from the Losers’ attempt at shoplifting throughout the alley scene is pretty much cinematic history. I mean it has everything: some soft kids trying to shoplift and just making the most noise possible, slow-mo Bev, Eddie’s second fanny pack, so much Richie, Stan smiling. I could watch these five minutes on repeat for the rest of my life.

Bev flinching when her dad went to stroke her face was so painful to watch. That plus the bruise and his creepy invasiveness just made you instantly worried about Bev, and left a dark shadow looming over the movie the entire time, which I found scarier than most of the regular horror elements. I read an article that said the adults were the creepiest part of the movie, and it’s definitely true. They really added to the threat on top of the supernatural horror stuff, and I think they seemed scarier because you COULDN’T escape or defeat the adults the same way you could with Pennywise. With Pennywise you can just physically take him on, but how do you do that with a world full of adults?

I’m sad that we didn’t get to see the boys building a dam, although I do understand you can’t have everything in the movie. But we got the loogie scene and everyone having fun at the quarry instead, which was definitely fine by me.

The loogie scene was absolutely amazing, particularly Eddie. When I took my parents to see it my dad actually laughed out loud as Eddie spit on the rock directly in front of himself.

I almost can’t bear to listen to Beverly’s song on the soundtrack, but I still have to everyday. It’s so heartwarming and lovely.

I LOVE the Bev sunbathing scene. Part of me kind of thought it was another thing Bev wouldn’t do, not on the first day of their friendship, you know? At this point, these aren’t her brothers they’re just some guys, which is evident in the way they all stare at her. However, it was still a super funny scene.

Richie’s smile when he pulls out the Standpipe postcard and says “Who sent you this?” is an absolute delight. It’s a perfect mix between mocking and light-hearted fun and curiosity - so so Richie.

I know that before the movie came out we all saw how Eddie fell over the bikes and Richie was the one who stayed behind to see if he was okay. But when I actually saw the movie I realised Richie stayed because Eddie tripping was his fault, and he felt bad. Eddie had stopped his bike on Ben’s front lawn and then Richie pulled up afterwards and dropped his bike directly behind Eddie, causing Eddie to trip over. So Richie stayed because it was his fault. Still such a great little background moment!

I know this has been pointed out many times, but I do love all the staples on the pillar where the lady is pinning Patrick’s poster. Shows just how many posters must have been put up there in the past.

So did anyone else notice Ben picking up what appears to be a dirty magazine and chucking it in his closet before the Losers come into his room? Because NO. I refuse to believe Ben would look at dirty magazines. I know he’s a teenage boy but I don’t care. Fake news.

I would give anything to know who Richie and Eddie are talking about when they come into Ben’s room. “He’s got like a rollercoaster and old guy’s bones? YEah, cool!” What??!!

Ben: “Cool, huh?” Richie: “NO. No.” = LOVE

Ben: “Derry started as a beaver trapping camp.” Richie: “Still is, am I right boys?” = I’m dead (my dad also laughed out loud)

That New Kids on the Block poster moment was so bizarre. There were a couple of really weird shots in the movie - like Belch’s slow mo shout later on. Not that I didn’t love it, but I was also like “Um...why?” Although Ben’s little smile when Bev hides the poster again was SO CUTE!

Eddie walking past the church while the choir sings inside was my absolute favourite moment in the movie. I don’t know anything about cinema, but I thought it was a great shot, and I loved the little nod to the book (like how Eddie likes to sometimes sit outside the church and listen to the music). I also thought that the contrast between this intro and the rest of Eddie’s Pennywise scene was really brilliant and moving. At first, we see Eddie as a carefree child strolling down the street, listening to the church choir. Then in a few moments we see him having to pop pills, not really knowing why, and then he’s being  chased by the leper, all linked to very grown-up fears of disease, death, sex and sexuality (I know the movie didn’t have any of the blowjob references in the lepe scene, but it’s really hard to not think of that anyway).