#especially when the fat girl has obviously always been gorgeous
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Fat Heroines in M/F Romance: Quick Recs
For no particular reason, a few books I love where the heroine is described as fat/plus-sized/whatever, may or may not experience weight-related insecurities, but never loses weight and is always seen as super hot, not the girl who just escaped his notice until she glowed up, by the hero.
(I will add that I've definitely read many more books with this kind of rep, but it isn't always as explicit, and I wanted it to be super clear. And I'll probably add on to this later.)
Nine Rules to Break When Romancing a Rake by Sarah MacLean. Callie is very clearly fat, and she does long for Ralston from afar... but largely because she was a literal teenager when she first noticed him, and he doing grown man shit with grown women. Once she's in his notice, he is obsessed, and is super worshipful of her body. Never has a man been more upset that a woman bound her breasts; he is PERSONALLY offended. He must heal them! With his mouth!
Brazen and the Beast by Sarah MacLean. Noteworthy for featuring a plus size model on the cover and stepback. Hattie is a total babe, Whit is absolutely about it from the moment he wakes tied up in her carriage, and she ties him up some more after that! I also really love the degree to which Hattie is embraced as a beautiful, vivacious woman who throws this man for a loop.
The Brown Sisters Trilogy by Talia Hibbert. All the Brown sisters are plus size, it's on the cover, and they fall into their own unique love stories. Personally, Act Your Age, Eve Brown is my favorite, but they're all very good.
*Get a Life, Chloe Brown features a heroine who has suffered from chronic pain all her life (and as a TW, the hero is coming off a relationship with an abusive ex-girlfriend) trying to get the most out of life after sitting on the sidelines for years
*Take A Hint, Dani Brown features a queer, witchy heroine and a hero who suffers from anxiety (plus the rare interracial romance with no white people) embarking on a fake relationship after being caught in a compromising situation
*Act Your Age, Eve Brown features two leads who are both on the spectrum as our heroine attempts to "grow up" and ends up ruffling allll the hero's feathers (also, a purply sparkly dildo is utilized super effectively)
All Scot and Bothered by Kerrigan Byrne. Unfortunately not reflected super well on the cover (though it is a beautiful cover otherwise) this book has a heroine who is fat, loves food, and is loved by a giant Scottish motherfucker who watches her eat chocolate and is like "this is the greatest trial God has ever bestowed upon me".
A Merry Little Meet Cute by Julie Murphy and Sierra Simone. Heroine is a fat porn star with what is essentially an OnlyFans; she wants to break into vanilla cinema, and gets cast in a Hallmark-style Christmas movie opposite a formerly famous boy bander... who of course, is a BIIIIIG fan of her work. Also, bisexuality galore!
The Truth About Cads and Dukes by Elisa Braden. Our heroine considers herself plain, as does much of society; the hero is NEVER about that life. Before they're even engaged, she goes on a spiel about how he wouldn't understand her inner thoughts unless he's been inside her, and he does have a sadly aroused coughing fit.
Possession by Adriana Anders. Heroine and hero are actors in a PR marriage of convenience, with the specific stipulation that they won't have sex; and then he gets caught fucking a woman on camera, who looks just! Like! Her! Heroine's size is very clear; she's also Latina, and the hero is pansexual. She follows him to ~kink camp~ and they discover that they're actually quite! Compatible! One of the hottest books I've ever read, so body-affirming.
#romance novel blogging#book recs#books#book reviews#anyway i just really hate the 'fat girl is ugly until she glows up' thing#especially when the fat girl has obviously always been gorgeous#she just needs to Get Over the main impediment--her fatness--either thru weight loss or like#mental growth surrounding her weight
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I literally do not care if this is long. Read it.
@neds-nickerson
Alright so hey we're going to talk about fatphobia because I'm not gonna pretend that issues such as this do not exist in the fandom. Because they do, and not being vocally against it contributes to it.
So Bess Marvin.
She's plus size, she's chubby, she's a big girl, she's fat. We know that and we shouldn't deny that
She's also beautiful, charismatic, compassionate, and a "fraidy cat'
We all know that the books have a history of fat-shaming. Mostly coming from George, who constantly ridiculed her cousin for simply existing. The main target is her weight. I've always said that the rewrites could use another round of rewrites to get rid of the fat-shaming, the rest of the racism, and honestly fix the mysteries a bit. But, you know, the first two are more important.
Something that does stand out about Bess is the way that she really isn't treated like a lot of other plus-size characters. If you compare her directly to Chet Morton, who was fat-shamed way worse and purely existed for comedic relief. Bess is different. How many fat characters can you name that are like Bess? How many are seen as attractive? How many don't exist purely to make fun of their weight? How many constantly stuff their face with food as if it's the only action they're capable of? Compare that with skinny characters.
Bess was allowed to be more complex. She was allowed to be seen as attractive. I remember when y'all practically bullied that person who pointed out that it's actually iconic for Bess to be the one with a more active love life while not exactly fitting the beauty standard. Y'all called them sexist for "putting a women's worth on how men find them attractive" that's not what they meant. You know sometimes when you point out that someone is attractive, you talk about the people that find them attractive.
Which reminds me, the Originals and the Rewrites weren't the only ones that were guilty.
Girl Detective
"She definitely isn't fat. In fact, Bess is totally gorgeous"
Because the two can't exist at the same time?
Bess is the pretty one and she has always been the pretty one, so even with the fat-shaming the originals and rewrites still were able to acknowledge that you can be plus-size and pretty.
But yeah other things go along the "fat can't also mean pretty" line. Files is the literary candidate who made Bess' "weight problem" basically something that she is exaggerating. That she was constantly "ten pounds from being perfect." She was never described as being chubby or plus-size. She actually was canonically thin here. According to them, she just didn't realize it.
Obviously this “making Bess skinny” thing isn't stuck to Files. In fact, there is no live-action Bess Marvin played by a plus-size actress. That is fatphobic. That is just pure fat-phobia and I don't care if you like any of the actresses or not. It is still just fatphobia
It's fatphobic for casting to consider them. It's fatphobic for the creators of any live-action to portray Bess as thin. It's honestly also fatphobic for the thin actress to go for this role. I'm not excluding them because you can fucking research a character from a property that already exists. Especially in modern times with the internet. There is no fucking excuse to not know anything about a character that's existed for 90 FUCKING YEARS.
Even with the swearing, I'm not saying this to be mean towards anyone in particular. I'm being harsh. And there's a difference. All you guys preach positivity and yet you contribute to fatphobia. Think of your fellow fans. You are not only being harmful towards a fictional character, you're harming real people.
Real people are like Bess Marvin or even Chet Morton.
You should be angry at fatphobia.
You should be done with it
You should acknowledge that a character with a far more complex personality than some tropey chubby one-dimensional fuck exists. And you shouldn't take that away.
Acknowledge Bess' weight when you write fanfiction. Acknowledge when you draw fanart. Acknowledge it when you fancast.
Bess Marvin is plus-size. That's it.
#bess marvin#ned nickerson#nancy drew#nancy drew games#clue crew#her interactive#nancy drew books#george fayne
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His Girl
Plot: Dick Grayson has a type in women: athletic, feminine, and classy. However, the reader is completely different as she is plus-size, tomboyish, and spontaneous. But a conversation about Y/N between Dick and the batboys takes an unexpected turn one night.
Warnings: Language, Sensitive topics, and Fluff.
“What the hell’s up your ass?” Jason asks Dick, as he hands him a bottle of beer from the refrigerator in the Batcave. It was only until last week that Bruce gave in and allowed a refrigerator to be down there after the boys begged him for one.
As long as it was only for beverages, of course. Bruce had mentioned the boys have been eating too much junk food lately, but the boys knew deep down that his rule is simply for him, because of his age, and maybe for Y/N, too.
Y/N has only been with the Batfamily for a year since her family died at the hands of Two-Face. She had only started training with Bruce for two months now, and the two of them have been working out quite a bit.
Which makes sense of Bruce’s one rule for the refrigerator, though. But that hasn’t stopped Jason from sneaking in food anyways; mostly pizza and lunch meat and cheeses for sandwiches.
But now, Dick’s distant and silence is unbearable since the circus descent acrobat is usually excited and rambling about anything and everything.
“Uh, nothing! I mean...” Dick stutters. His behavior tonight was questionable to say the least. Usually, he would be on his game and even throw some wisecracks but he’s been awfully quiet, nervous even.
“Uh-huh, sure. Whatever you say,” Jason scoffs.
Dick sits on top of the hood of the Batmobile while he peels the sticky label from the beer bottle. He notices Tim and Damian walking out from the showers and are already dressed in sweatpants and t-shirts. Bruce is seated at the Batcomputer, still in costume but minus the cowl. Jason sits at the small table and sips from his beer and snacks on a triple meat and cheese sandwich he must have made quickly.
And Alfred had long gone to bed after Bruce forced him to get some rest since they’ve returned home and are not dead.
Dick suddenly notices Y/N must still be in the showers, on the other side of the cave for privacy where the guys can’t bother the girls.
“Fine...I’ve been...having these thoughts and dreams about Y/N lately,” Dick confesses. He notices Jason staring at him with a confused expression.
“Yeah, and…?”
“Well…lately, I’ve been thinking about her as…more than a friend. I’ve been seeing her in a new light. And you know I’ve always thought she was cool, and funny, and incredibly smart,” Dick continues, with a small smile. “But…I’ve never been sexually attracted to women like her before.”
Jason purses his lips and appears to think it over. “So, I don’t see the problem.”
“I just told you I’ve never felt this way about Y/N or any woman like her before.”
“Because you’re shallow.”
“I’m not shallow,” Dick argues, suddenly feeling defensive at Jason’s attack. “I just…I’ve never seen heavy women as hot, you know?”
“You can try to justify all that, but the point is, you’re shallow.”
“Have you ever slept with a heavy girl before, Jason?!” Dick snaps.
Jason chuckles and grins. “Actually, I have.”
“Bullshit,” Dick scoffs.
“Yeah, I have Dickie-bird. It happened three years ago, when my Outlaws and I kicked Black Mask’s ass. We went to a bar to celebrate in downtown Gotham. Roy and Star left early to go fuck or something. I was left alone and I was about to call it a night until this smoking hot woman took a seat next to me. She had long dark hair, tan skin, and curves that made my mouth water and my cock hard enough to pound nails. She was gorgeous, but there were these assholes around her and were calling her fat and telling her to leave because no one here would take her home. And do you want to know what I did?” Jason asks.
“What?” Dick asks quietly.
“I took her home, after I broke all those guys’ jaws. She was fucking amazing, man. She had a magnificent ass that she actually allowed me to spank. Her curves were endless, and after I fucked her good three times, cuddling and falling asleep with her was probably the best part of the night. I’ve never felt so…comfortable and felt warm, because I actually felt someone beside me,” Jason admits.
Dick raises an eyebrow at him. “Wow, I didn’t think something like that could happen to you, Jason. If anything, I thought you were shallow.”
“I used to be, until I realized I was judging others, when I was actually trying to have others not judge me. Alfred actually helped me with that. I don’t remember every word he said exactly but he said I wasn’t trying all the ice cream flavors out there. Like, I was always sticking to a certain flavor of ice cream, and I wasn’t trying other kinds, meaning I should be looking at all types of women. And after my one night stand with that magnificent woman’s ass, I realized bigger girls aren’t deal breakers; they’re just more to love,” Jason admits, and shrugs with a smug smile.
“That’s…I don’t even know what to say. But Y/N’s different. She’s someone we know and it makes it harder. And my problem isn’t that I’m shallow, it’s how I’m supposed to handle my feelings about her.”
“Yeah, you are, Dick. Y/N’s literally the best woman we’ve ever met. Hell, the best woman I’VE ever met. She’s fucking funny, she’s so caring and kind, she’s smarter than Timbo when it comes to common sense,” Jason lists off his reasons.
“That’s true! I’m not going to lie about that!” Tim interrupts from the distance.
“Y/N’s real, she doesn’t bullshit about anything like other girls. She’s honest, and that’s a rare thing to find nowadays. And fuck…she can really handle her alcohol, she can down shots of Fireball like it’s water,” Jason adds.
“You don’t think I know all that? Of course, I do! That’s why I’m having such a hard time dealing with my feelings for her. I’ve only ever been with tall, athletic women, who wear skirts and dresses, eats healthy, and are…well, feminine,” Dick confesses. A guilty expression shows on his face. “And Y/N’s not any of that. She’s really short, kinda chubby, and she’s more of a tomboy type, who’s loud and rambunctious, and eats like a man.”
Jason snorts. “And that’s a problem why? That’s why Y/N’s fucking awesome, man! I actually really like how she’s not afraid to be herself. She’s not fake. Do you know how long it took for her to be comfortable with all of us and be who she is rather than how she thought we expected from her? And I don’t know about you but I love how she eats, whenever we go out to restaurants, I actually like how I can eat the way I want and not feel like a fat ass because I know her and I both love what we love and fuck all who have a problem with that!”
Bruce turns around in his chair and gives both boys a warning look. Even Tim and Damian silently take a seat and watch closely.
“Fuck…Y/N is the perfect woman. She’ll always be in my eyes,” Jason admits, looking down at his beer longingly before taking a sip.
“If you feel so strongly about her then why haven’t you tried to go out with her or sleep with her?” Dick asks angrily.
Jason’s pause takes everyone by surprise. “Because she can do better than me.”
“You-you actually tried to get with her?” Dick stammers.
“Oh, yeah I definitely did. I think about a year ago. I had spent the summer with her here while everyone was busy with the whole Justice League and Superman bullshit,” Jason explains. “You were with the Titans with Tim and Damian. It was just me and her.”
“Alfred was there as well,” Bruce mumbles.
“Anyways, call it cheesy as hell like those romcoms, but we actually got really close. She’s a spitfire for sure, but she really knows how to get under your skin,” Jason chuckles.
Tim and Damian nod their heads in agreement with that.
“And I obviously made the whole situation uncomfortable as fuck because when I told her how I felt, she rejected me. She said we were too alike, we’d butt heads all the time. And after that, I never brought it up again.”
Jason’s confession gives Dick a sense of confidence.
“Look, if you want to ask her out and do all that then I support you. Just know if you fucking hurt her or do anything wrong, I’ll slit your throat even if you’re family,” Jason threatens seriously.
“I wouldn’t even know how to bring it up with her,” Dick says.
“Well, don’t bring up how her weight and appearance bothers you,” Jason says seriously.
“It doesn’t!”
“Okay. How did you ask Barbara, Star, Zatanna, and-”
“I get it, Jason. I’ll just talk to her and tell her I have strong feelings for her,” Dick interrupts him. “I’ll just tell her the truth.”
“You already did.”
That voice belonged to none other than Y/N. All the guys in the Batcave jerked their heads to the top of the stairs where Y/N stood and looked down with tears running down her cheeks. She was wearing her plaid pajama pants and a loose black t-shirt she stole from one of them a long time ago, she doesn’t exactly know who though.
Dick and Jason slowly stand up. Dick carefully walks over to the stairs while Jason cautiously follows.
“Y/N…” Dick whispers, already feeling guilty and nervous that she had probably heard everything. “Please listen to me…”
“WHY?! So, you can tell me you didn’t mean any of that, when you actually did. I thought you were different! I didn’t know you could judge someone like that! Especially someone like me!” Y/N yells. “I thought you were my friend!”
“I am your friend! Y/N, please give me a chance to explain! I really like you, and-and I was just trying to ask for help so I can talk to you!” Dick pleads.
“Don’t lie to me! You were only asking for help because you didn’t know how to deal with me being fat and manly! I’m sorry I’m not like Barbara and Star! I’m sorry I’m not beautiful and thin! I’m sorry I’m not perfect for you!” Y/N cries out and runs up the stairs.
“Y/N! Wait! Please!” Dick shouts for her. He chases after her.
By the time Dick reaches Y/N’s bedroom door, it’s locked. He can hear her crying, automatically feeling like shit for being the reason why she’s hurt.
“Y/N, please…” Dick tries again.
“Leave me alone, Dick!”
Dick swallows hard and forces himself to move away from her door. There was no use for him to stand there; he’d already broke her trust and possibly ruined their friendship. He might have even ruined his chances with her.
Jason approaches Dick. “Is she crying?” he asks.
“Yes,” Dick chokes out. He runs a hand through his dark hair. “Fuck, Jason…I don’t know what to do. She won’t even talk to me.”
“You should go, Dick. I think you’ve done enough.”
Dick was a little taken aback by Jason’s command. He pushes himself to walk away anyways.
“Bruce wants to talk to you. You should go find him before he finds you,” Jason adds.
Dick exhales heavily and leaves. Jason shakes his head in disappointment at him. He takes a deep breath and knocks on Y/N’s bedroom door.
“Doll, it’s Jay. Please let me in,” Jason says softly. “I just want to talk to you.”
He didn’t think she would open the door for him. He didn’t think she would want to talk to him even though he hadn’t pissed her off or upset her in any way. But Y/N unlocked her door and even opened it for him.
Jason was deeply heartbroken to see Y/N; her eyes were red and swollen, her cheeks were wet, and she had the devastating look on her beautiful face. He quickly walked into her room and shut the door, quickly locking it.
He had to be cautious though. He knew couldn’t say or do the things he wants to do with her right now. Instead, he slowly and carefully approaches her. She allows him to wrap his strong arms around her, bringing her closely to his body to hold and protect her from everyone and everything.
“Shh…it’s okay, sweetheart. I got you. I’m not going anywhere,” Jason whispers into her hair. He tries desperately to not inhale the addicting scent of her shampoo and lingering perfume so much. “You’re okay. Everything’s going to be okay.”
Y/N lifts her face from Jason’s chest and gazes up at him. The sight of her glistening eyes makes him draw her closer to him.
“What did I do wrong, Jay? What did I do to deserve all that? Is everything about me really bad?” Y/N asks softly, on the verge of tears again.
“No. No, don’t say that. Don’t say any of that! Nothing is wrong with you. You’re beautiful, Y/N. You’re perfect just the way you are,” Jason admits.
Y/N shakes her head in disbelief. It breaks Jason’s heart more when she tries to pull away from his embrace, but he refuses to let her go. His grip tightens and he holds her as if she’d disappear and leave him all alone.
“That’s not true, Jay,”
“It is true. Hell Y/N, you’re the most badass woman I’ve ever met. You don’t take shit from any of us. You’ve managed to stay here even after all the bullshit everyone has put you through,” he explains. He even chuckles at a memory. “You’ve even made Bruce cry, remember? Remember you called him out on his bullshit when he refused to train you? You’re almost a savage like Alfred, you even make Wonder Woman and Catwoman look like dollar tree prizes, and that’s no lie.”
Y/N looks down at her feet. Jason knows she still doesn’t believe him.
“You’re always perfect in my eyes, Y/N. There isn’t a goddamn thing I would change about you,”
“If I’m so perfect, then why does Dick think so low of me?” Y/N asks. She sniffles adorably and looks back up at him.
“Because he’s a fucking idiot who can’t see the best thing that’s in front of him,” Jason answers, and looks into Y/N’s eyes before he looks at her lips. “But his loss is my gain.”
#dc comics#jason todd x reader#jason todd x y/n#dc comics jason todd#dc comics batman#dick grayson#bruce wayne#tim drake#damian wayne
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supermodel | jjk
the last three months have been hell for you, but Jungkook seemed to be living his best life.
pairing: ex-bf!jk x thick!reader
warnings: explicit mentions of body image and insecurities, infidelity, anal sex, oral (male receive), foul language (kinda), etc.
now playing: supermodel by sza
part two part three
Exactly three months ago, your and Jungkook’s 2 years relationship officially ended. Unofficially, it ended about 5 months ago. And for about one month now, Jungkook’s been seeing someone else.
Your heart and mind told you not to do it but you couldn’t help calculating. Three months ago, you were still dating, two months later, he started dating someone else. That must mean he’s known her for a while. Did he cheat on you with her? Well, it’s not like it matters now anyway, does it?
Her name was Yuki, an undeniable Japanese beauty. You were still in college, studying music and she was a famous model who appeared in internationally known magazines. You assumed she met Jungkook during a photoshoot since he was a professional photographer who often worked for companies like Vogue and Playboy. You couldn’t help but compare yourself to her.
It wasn’t the fact that he moved on so quickly that hurt you the most. It was the fact that he knew all about your low self-esteem and how you lack confidence. Especially about your body. And he still went and dated a model, of all professions in the world. He was definitely over you.
If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he did it on purpose. But thankfully, you knew better, he looked too happy for that to be even considered. He forgot about you.
You’re making yourself sadder by remembering all the times he assured you you were beautiful and your body was nothing to be ashamed of. The times he let his fingertips run over the lines of your stretch marks, whispering in your ear how much he loved them and how they reminded him of Tiger stripes. The times he caressed your jiggly thighs and told you how sexy he thought they were.
Then your mind would drift back to the phone in your hand, the Instagram page of Yuki Sakurai opened, careful not to accidentally like anything and expose yourself. Not that she’d notice anyway, she had 3.7 million followers, while you had a private one with 500 followers and no posts, and she gets around 300 to 700 thousand likes on each post, depending on whether she posts random photos or pretty pictures of herself. Or newly, your ex-boyfriend, Jungkook. Oh, how crazy everybody goes whenever she posts him. People love them together. You couldn’t blame them. Two attractive people? Of course, they’re gonna look great together.
Fucking great.
That the end of your relationship with Jungkook would look like this was semi-predictable from the beginning. He did admit to you that he never thought he’d date someone that looked like you when you first dated. And your heart broke a little. But he also made up for it in those two years, it was a beautiful relationship nonetheless.
While you weren’t exactly his ‘ideal’ type, he was definitely yours. You always heard from other women ‘when in a relationship, the man always has to love the woman more than she loves him. Otherwise, it won’t work.’ You never really got the saying until your breakup with Jungkook happened. It was the fact that you clearly loved Jungkook more than he loved you that lead to this.
“Oh my goodness!”, your roommate, Jane, dramatically exclaimed. “Will you stop feeling bad for yourself and do something? That’s not what hot girls do, sis.”
Jane was a lovely girl with a not so lovely temper. She always means well and you got along perfectly as soon as you met. Which was around 3 and a half years ago.
She looked over your shoulder to see what you were looking at. You obviously didn’t want her to see you snooping around your ex-boyfriend’s current girlfriend’s Instagram but it was too late.
“Seriously, yn?”, she took your phone in her hand and threw it on the bed. “Let’s go somewhere, you can’t do this to yourself anymore. I’m not letting you.”
Jane was clearly worried about you at this point. The only thing you did these last few weeks was eating, shower, cry, sleep and miss a whole bunch of classes. This wasn’t good at all.
“Where?”, your question was short.
“To the mall? Or the nail studio? Anything that’ll get you out of this fucking dormitory.”, Jane sighed, pulling the blanket off of you, making you whine a little. “C’mon, go put on some cute outfit and we’ll go.”
You felt bad since she was trying hard to make you feel better. But it didn’t really work.
You nodded, standing up from the bed, nonetheless. You picked out a cute two-piece dress, that brought back blurred memories of the time you went on a date with Jungkook, wearing the same two-piece. Bet Yuki would look cuter in this...
‘Shut your petty ass up, yn. It’s embarrassing, the way you’re stuck on a taken guy who wants nothing to do with you’
You wish you could change the way you think, even if it’s just for an hour or two. You wish you would stop imagining Jungkook judging you when he saw you naked or when you told him that you wished you could cut off some of your fat with a pair of scissors.
You were beyond ashamed of yourself. Why wasn’t it easy for you to just stay by yourself? why were you so desperately in need of Jungkook by your side to the point where you’d lock yourself in your room for a month just because he isn’t there?
You needed Jungkook. You became so attached to him in those two years, because you always saw him as a permanent, a forever. Not just a temporary, not just a distant memory. You already saw him as the father of your children, as the man you’re gonna marry.
You were so blinded by the fact that you had him, that you forgot you could lose him anytime.
“I’m done, let’s go.”, unenthusiastically, you announced to Jane, who was already waiting for you.
“Let’s get the fuck outta here!”, In contrast to your spirit, hers seemed to be all roses and daisies. “Lord knows you need it...”
__________
“Look at this cute ass skirt, girl”, Jane pointed at a chic, wine mini skirt she was holding. “You know, when I saw it back there I wanted to have it, but it’d look so much better on you”
You took a few seconds to admire Jane’s beauty. She was about 3 cm taller than you, had a great posture, and almond, dark brown eyes that suited her dark skin tone perfectly. Her body leaned more towards the slimmer side.
“Shut up! No, it would not”, you let out a small giggle. “It would look gorgeous on you, buy it.”
She smiled a little at your laughs. She was happy to see you at least a little cheerful again. “Yeah, but I think it’d look better on you. I’m entitled to my own opinion, am I not?”
You knew this debate was gonna go back and forth, because of her stubbornness. “Let’s both buy the skirt.”
You ended up doing so, added by a bunch of bags full of clothing. This may’ve turned into your new coping mechanism. Who needed therapy when you can go on a shopping spree?
Two hours were spent in boutiques and clothing stores and Jane decided she was tired, wanting to visit the local spa.
“No, seriously, these Riverdale seasons just keep on getting worse and worse. Netflix needs to step up their game ASAP”, Jane ranted, making you laugh at how serious she takes it. “It’s getting embarrassing. I’m being for real.”
The two of you were sitting in the whirlpool at the spa, relaxing your whole bodies a little.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever, I don’t watch these new Netflix shows anyways. Been stuck on the vampire diaries for the last 7 years”, you chuckled, knowing you hated trying new things. “Can you pass me one of those magazines?”
Jane nodded, grabbing a random one from the table next to her and handed it to you, without looking at it.
The cover of it caught your eyes immediately. How could it not, when your ex’s new girl looks absolutely dazzling on the front page of it.
‘Supermodel Yuki Sakurai talks summer fashion tips, struggle with self-love and most importantly, her hot, new boyfriend the media is going crazy over’ was the headline of the Harper’s Bazaar Magazine cover.
You felt your stomach getting sick and your breath getting heavier, but you still flipped the pages until you found the one with her interview. You began reading it, skipping the boring parts.
‘Int: so, we see you have a new boyfriend. Tell us, how did you guys meet?
Yuki: Yeah, he’s an amazing guy. We actually met about six or five months ago at one of my photoshoots, since he’s a photographer and we exchanged numbers and stuff, and then we made it official mid last month.’
About six or five months ago? You were with him back then, but her answer was too unclear to find out if he cheated or not.
“Woah, yn, you okay?”
You entirely forgot about the fact that you were with Jane, let alone somewhere other than your bed.
Before you could react, Jane snatched the magazine out of your hand.
“You really can’t escape them, huh?”, She sighs, taking you in her arm. “It’s gonna be okay, baby. In a few months, you’re gonna look back to this and think wow I really was stuck on a guy who’s scared of microwaves and cried like a bitch when Iron Man died.”
You laughed, punching her arm playfully. “You know, I actually love these things about him. Shows his sensitivity and the way he perceives things.”
Jane looked at you as if she didn’t believe you were actually saying that stuff. “Girl, you’re overanalyzing this. Let’s just throw this shit in the trash, okay?”
She put the magazine aside.
“I just don't know what I did wrong.”, You murmured. “I know we weren't the best, but we didn't even fight that much. We could’ve talked it through.”
Jane pursed her lips and cooed. “You know, relationships are complicated sometimes. The reason why he broke up, to begin with, is probably not your fault.”
“Well, what if it is? I mean what if I was too fat or too ugly for him?”, you asked. “If he wanted a skinny girl so bad, I could’ve lost weight for him, I don’t get it.”
Jane looked at you like you lost your mind entirely. “I can’t believe you just said that! Even if that was the reason, which it wasn’t, you shouldn’t make yourself suffer because of it. That’s his loss. You’re beyond gorgeous and you have an amazing body.”
“You’re just saying that.”, tears slowly started coming up in your eyes. “But the thing is Jungkook knows all about my insecurities. Why would he do that to me? I know he knows that I’m still not over him.”
You usually didn’t like crying in front of other people, but you didn’t really care at the moment, besides that was Jane. You trusted her with your life.
“Girl, men are trash, I can’t believe you’re crying over one right now, seriously.”, she wiped your tears and held your face between her hands. “You know, honestly, I’ve read so many articles about how models actually hate themselves and have like the lowest self-esteem so in conclusion, no matter how miserable you are, his new girl is even more miserable.”
You knew Jane didn’t mean it in a harmful way, but it sounded harsher than needed. “I don’t hate her, she probably doesn’t even know about me. I’m just really insecure. He upgraded from me. He’s dating a whole model now.”
The situation just felt like a deja vu of these last few weeks laying in your bed, even though you were at the spa with your friend. You were supposed to have fun, yet you didn’t feel like having any.
“Why would you feel insecure when all you’ve seen of her are Instagram posts and red carpet pictures? She’s supposed to look beautiful, it’s her job.”
To a certain extent, Jane was right, but that didn’t really help your situation, you still felt bad about yourself. You stayed silent.
“C’mon, this isn’t fun anymore. Let’s leave.”, Jane mumbled.
_______
it’s been two days since the incident at the spa and you felt a little bit better now.
Those days were spent reading the same three book series you’ve read your entire life, overthinking, hot Cheetos, Indian takeout, and Netflix. It really wasn’t as miserable as it sounded.
You were just taking a little rest before term break ends and you have to go back to the shithole college again.
Jane was using the time until college starts again, but in different ways than you were. She was planning on going to some frat party in an hour and forget about the world’ for a minute. Or till 4 in the morning, where she will most likely drunk call you and ask you for a ride back to the dorms, because the friends she went to the party with were shit-faced as well and were in no way capable of driving anywhere without the cops stopping them.
Going out partying on a Friday night was a Jane tradition. In the past, you’d sometimes go with her, but you mostly spent your time out with Jungkook doing something more fun than partying could ever be. Now you can’t do that anymore, but laying in bed is more ideal than a party for you at the moment.
“How do I look?”, Jane twirled around to show off her black cocktail dress. She looked beautiful.
“You look beautiful.”, you responded to her question. “Are you leaving now?”
“Hm”, she said, to which you nodded. “You sure you don’t wanna come with me? It’s gonna be really fun.”
You shook your head no.
“Alright”, she shrugged, making her way out of your bedroom. “But I told you, it’s gonna be fun.”
You chuckled, rolling your eyes. “I’ll stay here, I have shit to do.”
“Yeah, right, like binge-watching the vampire diaries and taking 5-hour naps”, she said in a sarcastic tone. “Anyway, bye-bye, Vic’s already waiting for me in the car.”
Victoria was perhaps one of the most obnoxious people you know, yet she was too much of a nice person for you to talk shit about her. The voice of your intrusive thoughts couldn’t help but to, though.
“Alright, bye, take care and say hi to Vic from me.”
After Jane left, an hour went by like it was just a couple of minutes. You were starting to get real bored and decided to watch some regular tv in hopes to find something you enjoy. You ended up not finding anything fun, but you still watched it, because you didn’t have anything else to do.
A few moments later, the doorbell rang and you were suddenly worried. Either this is a serial killer or Jane forgot something.
But to your surprise, it was neither, but it was none other than
“Jungkook?”, truly, those were the only words you were able to mutter out at your shocked state. “What are you do-“
At the speed of light, you were interrupted by your ex-boyfriend pressing his lips to yours. He didn’t say a word.
You weren’t expecting him. Not knowing how you were supposed to feel at the moment, you just let it happen. You were sure your mental state couldn’t get any worse than that, no matter how this will affect you in the end.
“Is Jane home?”, for the first time in 3 months, you’re hearing his silky voice again.
Jungkook knew Jane always had some type of special hatred for him with her killing stares and her bitter comments. You didn’t notice either though.
He also knew she must hate him even more after your breakup. Or maybe she liked him more now since she was able to get rid of him without killing anyone.
“No”, your answer was short and it made a weight fall from Jungkook’s shoulders before he continued kissing you.
It wasn’t anything you haven’t done before, yet it felt like it’s been ages since it last happened. Your mind drifted to the thought of Jungkook and his model girlfriend. You were asking yourself what their sex life was like, if she was tighter than you or if she had stretch marks and scars.
Jungkook’s lips were moving south, giving your neck wet kisses, while you were wondering why he broke up with his model girlfriend. Or if he even did. You felt selfish for not caring.
Removing your clothes one by one, you were left in your underwear, while Jungkook only had his boxers on.
This body was yours. You knew it inside out. Where he liked to get touched and where he preferred not to. You knew him better than anyone else. You were sure.
You already moved to your bedroom, since Jungkook effortlessly carried you there. You were sat on his lap, facing him and your hands were in his messy hair. His hands were around your waist, he was slightly smiling into the kiss, as you started grinding on him. He loved how easy it was for him to turn you on. You were still his.
Cutting off the kiss, he looked you in the eyes, while his hand was on your cheek. “Say aah.”, he said.
You widened your mouth obediently, which was followed by him collecting as much saliva as he could in his mouth and spitting it into your mouth.
“Swallow.”, demanding, he spit on your face, his eyes become darker with every passing moment. You did as he said.
You looked at him with big eyes. He knew you loved it. You’ve always had a thing for him degrading and humiliating you during sex.
He started grinding on you almost desperately. You knew exactly what he wanted.
Getting out of his grip, you dropped to your knees and freed his hard dick from his drawers. You reached for it and started pumping it, and licking it. Your spit was leaking down his dick as you used it for lubrication. Then you started sucking on it, just the way you used to.
Jungkook’s groans and satisfied sighs were enough to make you even wetter than before. You enjoyed giving more than receiving.
Your mouth was wet and warm around him, giving him a feeling of familiarity. You lick over the tip a few times, then proceed to fully take him into your mouth.
The bulge in your throat could be seen and the way your eyes were tearing up a little wasn’t bothering you at all. You loved giving.
Jungkook started thrusting in and out of your warm, welcoming mouth, his tip hitting the back of your throat multiple times.
“Fuck”, a throaty moan left Jungkook’s mouth, giving you hints that he was about to cum. And he did, releasing in your mouth before you swallowed it. “Shit, baby, that was so good.”
You felt your face heat up and a sheepish smile made its way to your face. Your throat was sore.
The two of you were on the bed again. To you, it felt like it was the times before your breakup again, when you’d purposely start an argument just for the makeup sex because Jungkook wasn’t giving you any anymore. It was like sex was the only thing to look forward to.
You felt attached to Jungkook to a point where it was dangerous. You weren’t okay when he wasn’t around. He affected every part of your life and God knew it wasn’t always a positive thing. Maybe it was the fact that he took your virginity. Maybe because he was your first boyfriend, the first guy that made you believe you were worthy of love and that someone was actually capable of loving you. One thing you knew was Jungkook had an expansive influence on your life.
While you were practically drowning in your own thoughts, Jungkook was busy taking off your underwear.
“You okay?”, Jungkook calmly asked you, looking at your riddled face.
“Huh? Yeah, I’m okay.”, you sounded distracted, Jungkook wasn’t sure about asking you what it is though. He didn’t feel like getting personal.
So he shrugged it off and started kissing you again, his dick was unsurprisingly hard again as he played with your tits. He drew lines over the stretch marks of your thighs and kissed them.
“Can I fuck your ass?”, Jungkook’s raspy, tired-sounding voice casually asked, to which you quickly nodded, knowing that Jungkook’s favorite position had always been anal. He was massaging and gripping your ass firmly.
“This is gonna hurt at first, but I promise it gets better.”, He warned calmly into your ear, while putting some lube on his dick and just went right into your ass, slowly thrusting so you don’t feel as much pain.
He was right, it did hurt a lot when he first put it in, but the pain just changed into pleasure in a matter of time and his slow-paced thrusts helped with the adjustment.
“Fuck, I missed this ass”, he practically growled into your ear, as he kept on thrusting in and out, steadily gripping your wide hips with his big, veiny hands. “It just doesn’t feel right when I’m inside her ass.”
You knew your confidence shouldn’t rely on Jungkook bringing his girlfriend down, but you couldn’t help but feel good about your body when he said that. It’s been a while since you felt even a tiny spark of confidence. You weren’t so fond of him mentioning her while he was inside of you.
Your soft moans rang through the whole room like sirens, while he watched your ass jiggle against his pelvis, thrusting in and out faster every second. He missed this.
You had always thought you were indecisive, but you knew exactly what you wanted. You just couldn’t have that, so you’d eventually have to settle for less.
Jungkook wasn’t to blame for it, you just couldn’t concede your shortcomings. The movie’s villain wasn’t always the real villain.
Your hands traveled to your pussy to make sure you’d orgasm as well, when you heard Jungkook’s breathing getting heavier and his thrusts getting gentler than before, indicating that he was gonna cum soon. You were certain he could make you cum with just anal, but you wanted to cum with him.
With furrowed eyebrows and drops of sweat dripping down his body, Jungkook looked down at your arched back. The whole scene was sticky, especially when Jungkook presses his upper body to your back, whispering sweet nothings into your ear and kissing the spot.
It was kinda odd, having sex with your ex-boyfriend you were crying over just a day ago. There was a certain intensity to it though. Like your long-lasting nostalgia was finally fulfilled.
You’ve realized you couldn’t imagine yourself being intimate with anybody else. Jungkook already knew your body, how it looked without the material protecting it, the strawberry skin, the slightly sagging breasts you swore you’d surgically remove once you had the chance to but didn’t. He knew where you liked being touched, he was the first one to even touch you in those places.
You were unsure what you’d do with yourself when he leaves.
Jungkook’s thrusts slowly started stopping and you too felt the familiar sensation in your stomach.
Suddenly, you two were nothing but desire, fear, and pleasure. And faster than you could process, you came together.
For minutes after your orgasm, you were just laying on the bed, thoughtless. Maybe a little regretful. Not you, but him.
You weren’t facing each other, but you could hear each other’s breathing. Your stomach was filled with something you’d describe as post-sex melancholia.
All of a sudden, Jungkook stood up from the bed, startling your resting self a little, but you decided to keep quiet, wanting to see what he was going to do.
He made his way to the door to leave what he thought was your sleeping body laying there. You couldn’t keep quiet anymore.
“Where are you going?”, your soft voice suddenly rang in his ears. “Don’t you wanna stay?”
He didn’t know how exactly to tell you. You’ve always been a gullible little girl, you were the type of girl to think fucking equals love. Little did you know that wasn’t the case at all.
“Yn.... you know I can’t”, Jungkook responded, you knew it wasn’t gonna be good when he said your name like that. “I got a girl at home and I don’t wanna mess shit up with her.”
There it was. Your suspicion was corroborated. He was still going out with the model and you were a certified home wrecker. Great.
You physically felt your heart breaking. “Bu- but why are you here then?”
You were incapable of being mad at him at the moment. It was your fault for letting him in, again. After breaking your trust and your heart.
“This was a mistake”, he declared, not looking into your eyes. “I’m sorry, yn...”
He’s moved past your room now, already at the exit of your dormitory. He was about to leave.
“You already ruined shit with her when you came here and fucked me.”, your voice was small, but your words were heard.
Without looking back, he left.
And you went back to your room, standing in the middle of it for a minute in silence before your brain fully processed what had happened and your tears started pouring.
#jungkook#jungkook smut#bts#bts fic#bangtan smut#bts smut#jk smut#jk imagine#jeongguk#jeongguk imagine#jeongguk smut#jeongguk fanfiction#taehyung smut#jimin smut#hoseok smut#yoongi smut#seokjin smut#namjoon smut#jungkook x reader#jungkook x female reader#thick thighs save lives
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The Teacher / Bakugou x Reader ♕︎
warnings: NSFW, teacher/student relationship, oral sex, spitting, sir kink, slut shaming, somewhat brat taming, age difference, unprotected sex
words: 5,772
(a/n): Bakugou is 30 in this; reader is younger (college age)
-
Tick, tock. Tick, tock.
One, two, three, four… How long was it going to take until class ended again?
Looking up from your notebook, you stare up at the clock, the large, monotonous face seemingly glaring straight back at you. You don’t know how it happens, but time always moves so slow when it comes to your calculus class. Frankly, you’d rather ditch the class altogether, but if you wanted to graduate from college, you had to pass. Curse stupid curriculums and all that shit.
However, despite absolutely dreading having to stare at numbers for a solid hour and a half, there is a plus side to taking this dreaded class. In fact, it’s the very reason why you signed up for it in the first place. You’ve heard so many wonderful things about it, all from girls and guys alike, and you knew you had to see it up close and personal – rather, you had to see him.
Professor Bakugou.
Age thirty, drives a Land Rover, and, most importantly, single.
He’s about as dreamy as they come; a complete and utter Dreamboat Annie, absolutely huge in both height and stature, intelligent, and handsome. He’s only been a professor for a few years, but it’s been made apparent to the school that he’s worth it. Not only are his teaching methods and lectures incredible, but he’s turned out some of the highest grades your college has even seen. That itself is impress, and, combined with the hype of how hot he is, it’s no wonder people rush to take his classes.
So, when it came time for class schedules to come out, you were excited, needless to say. Despite having a general disliking to math in the first place, you figured this one guy could be what it takes to turn that idea around. Oh, but that was before you first laid your eyes on him.
Shit, you had heard that he was attractive – godly, even – but this? You weren’t expecting this. His biceps alone could crack a watermelon, and his sharp jawline could easily cut diamonds. It sounds cliché, that’s true, but you have no other way of putting it. Words did not do this man any justice.
At first, his constant yelling and crude demeanor were a total turn off. Professor Bakugou was essentially the teacher version of Gordon Ramsay, and you weren’t entirely sure if you liked that or not. However, as time continued, you actually grew accustomed to it. In fact, if he didn’t yell at least once during the class, you’d immediately figured he was having a bad day.
That’s when the thoughts began. Call it infatuation, a mindless crush, whatever, but you wanted Professor Bakugou. Your eyes soon began to watch his large hands flex while he wrote on the board rather than the content itself. You’d watch his forearms flex while he turned the page in his textbook, prominent veins inviting you for a better look. How you longed to touch him, to grab his sturdy shoulders or pull his wild hair. He always looked so good, clothes tailored to fit his muscular frame perfectly.
You’d fantasize about the most random of scenarios, each of them usually ending up with him bending you over his desk at the front of the room. You liked colder days the best, especially since Professor Bakugou had the habit of wearing form-fitting sweaters that outlined his massive pecs or the swell of his arms. You wanted to make him feel better, to sit underneath the desk and suck him off while he taught the rest of the class. Those narrow hips had to be strong, and you’d be damned if you never got to experience their power at least once.
It’s almost as if Professor Bakugou had cast a spell over all of his students. Nearly all of them gushed about how great he was; and, if you were in the proper company, they exchanged fantasies or proclamations about how fucking gorgeous he was. You’d usually grow bitter at these types of conversations. It was a crush, for fuck’s sake. There was no need to get all pouty like some problematic schoolgirl.
Still, the thoughts wouldn’t go away, not when he taught, not when he yelled. His booming voice became a part of your wicked fantasies, wondering how it’d sound to hear him grunting your name or commanding you to spread his legs for him. Again and again, you told yourself that it was fine, that people develop crushes on their teachers all the time. It was only in the dead of night that you’d have your hand stuffed down your pants and mouth moaning his name into a pillow was when you regretted it. It was a phase, nothing more.
And yet, over two months into the semester, and these thoughts still won’t go away. The constant ticking of the clock brings you back down to Earth, your eyes focusing on the problems before you. Swallowing thickly, you loosen your hand, now just noticing how hard you’ve begun to clench your pencil. Your insides feel oddly warm, that pleasant, heavy feeling sitting behind your belly button. Dammit, you mentally curse, this is not the time to be getting distracted.
Tick, tock. Tick, tock.
If only class could end sooner.
“Right,” Professor Bakugou suddenly says from his desk, “this Friday, I’m holding a study session for the upcoming exam on Monday. There’s only going to be a limited number of seats available, so if you wanna join, here’s your chance.” With his words, he holds a blank sheet of notebook paper up, a rather bored expression on his face.
He must be tired, you think, unconsciously biting your bottom lip. But why?
Around you, students shuffle to the front of the class, waiting for a chance to scribble their names onto the paper. Some seem a bit more excited than others, obviously arching their backs or flipping their hair over their shoulders. With a scoff, you look back down to your work. Did they really think they could catch his attention like that? Yeah, so he doesn’t show off a ring on his finger, but it’s pretty likely that he has people throwing themselves at him all the time. Besides, Professor Bakugou is a strict guy; there’s no way he’d engage in a relationship with a student.
You really shouldn’t be getting your hopes up. It’s pointless to pine after your teacher like that, especially with the risks that come along with getting involved with each other. Still, you can’t help but feel bitter. Professor Bakugou is a god that walks amongst men, so how could you not want somebody like him?
“Alright, that’s all for today. Class dismissed,” Professor Bakugou calls out. Dammit, you spaced out again. Maybe you should get that checked out?
With a sigh, you stuff your belongings into your backpack and draw to a stand. You wish it would be spring already; trudging through snow and ice is never fun, and the fact that your dorm is basically on the other side of campus makes it even more rough. Pulling your coat on and slinging your backpack over your shoulders, you make way towards the classroom door, completely unaware of a set of eyes watching your every move.
-
“Man, this is impossible,” your best friend, Ashido Mina, groans. “I’m going to bomb this exam for sure!” Sprawled out on her stomach, she squirms on the floor, her face scrunching with her displeasure.
You, on the other hand, sit cross-legged across from her. Notebooks and math textbooks surround the two of you, your laptop and calculator at the ready. Bags of chips and pretzels sit to the side, along with abandoned coffee cups and empty water bottles. Professor Bakugou’s exams were notorious for being hard, but at the same time, if you payed attention in class and studied, you’d succeed. The thing is, though, that neither you nor Mina are the best when it comes to math.
“I thought you went to his study session?” you ask, glancing up from your own notebook.
Flashing you a pout, Mina nervously runs a hand through her fluffy hair. “Well, yeah, but you know how it goes! A secluded area with Professor Bakugou! It’s like a dream come true! It was hard to focus when he’s leaning over your shoulder like that…”
Rolling your eyes, you puff in amusement. “Really? Mina, you know what will happen if you fail this test.”
“Yeah, yeah, but come on! You can’t blame me! You would’ve done the exact same thing!”
“I don’t think so.”
“Oh yes you would’ve!” Mina exclaims, pointing an accusing finger your way. “Don’t pretend like you don’t ogle Professor Bakugou during class! He’s one hell of a hunk, isn’t he? I never knew college professors could be so hot!” she gushes, a giggle following her words. “And that study session – oh my god, I nearly thought I was going to heart attack when he helped me solve this one problem. He’s so warm and he smells great!”
You cock an eyebrow at her. “You were smelling our teacher?”
At that, Mina blows a raspberry and waves a dismissive hand. “I’m not Kaminari, sweetheart. I have class. Besides, Professor Bakugou smells like caramel. Can you believe it? I wonder if he uses cologne or feminine soap.”
Caramel, eh? Now that’s something you can get behind.
“You want him to fuck you, right?”
Wait, what?
Narrowing your gaze at her, your brows knit closely together. “What kind of question is that?”
Mina rolls her eyes. “What, like you don’t think about it? Practically everyone on this campus has thought about it at some point or another? I mean, hello! He’s totally Daddy material. I’ve heard that he goes to the gym sometimes here on campus – turns out he’s huge.”
Huge. Of course this is what Mina chooses to focus on. You wish you had a spray bottle to squirt at her horny ass.
“And I don’t mean muscle wise,” Mina continues, a mischievous expression coming to her face. “I bet he tastes like candy.”
“Mina.”
“Why yes, Mr. Bakugou sir! I’ll gladly suck your fat cock for an A!”
“Mina.”
“His ass is really nice, too. I wouldn’t mind pegging him-“
“MINA.”
“What?”
You smack your forehead and groan as your hand trails down your face. “Are you going to study or not? I don’t know about you, but I’d rather graduate than work at McDonald’s for the rest of my life.”
Mina purses her lips at you in an excessive pout. “You’re such a fun sponge, holy shit. I think you need a good dicking down by Professor Bakugou. Maybe then you’d stop staring after him all the time during class.”
Your face heats up at her words, but there’s no way you’re owning up to that. Okay, so yeah, maybe getting fucked by him would be a dream come true, but you’re more realistic than that. “And you’re not concerned at all that he’s our teacher? You know, like he could lose his job and you could be expelled? That doesn’t bother you? At all?”
Mina shrugs. “Meh.”
“Woooow…. You really are shameless.”
“Hey, you win some, you lose some. If I could get that man to put a ring on my finger, then I’d be okay with it.”
“Yeah, because you definitely want to bring your math professor home. Uh huh, great one. Tell me how that goes.”
With a grunt, Mina rolls over and sits up. “Whatever, man. I’m hungry, so I’m going to go down to the dining hall. Wanna come with?”
Glancing at the alarm clock sitting on your nightstand, you see that it’s only 5:15. True, you could get a bite to eat, but you’d rather stay back and finish a few more problems. “I think I’ll join up with you later,” you tell Mina.
She nods her head and offers you a small smile. “Suit yourself, sweetheart. I’ll see you later.” Gathering up her things, she unceremoniously shoves them into her backpack and salutes you with a goodbye. After she pulls the door shut behind her, you turn back to the task at hand.
It shouldn’t be this hard to solve these last couple of problems, but your brain is really starting to feel the struggle. A dull ache is already forming between your eyeballs, and you truly wonder if you’re going to make it through this or not. Maybe you should take a break, or at least give your eyes a rest. Still, that little stubborn streak in you tells you to carry on. You only have a few more problems left, and you’re so close to finally finishing!
As you set to work, the digits on your alarm clock change as time drags on. Okay, so maybe you’re demanding too much of yourself. Your brain is absolutely fried, and your headache is spreading. Glancing back up at the clock, luminous green lines glare a 5:31. Jeez, it’s only been sixteen minutes since you last checked, yet it seems as though hours have passed. You really want to finish this study session, but the last problem is throwing you in for a loop.
You’ve already scoured your notes and the textbook for how to go about the problem, but your mind is drawing up with a blank. It has to be because you’re tired, right? It’s not that hard… Or is it?
“Dammit,” you mutter, sitting back and pressing your palms flat against the floor. Again, you look at the clock. Frankly, you don’t want to spend all night pouring over this, and you don’t want to skip dinner, either. You know for a fact that Mina will beat your ass for skipping out on food. “Screw it.”
Scrambling off the floor, you throw a thick coat on and slide on your sneakers. Professor Bakugou sometimes has the habit of frequenting his office during the weekends (or so you’ve heard), and you desperately need to know how to solve this problem. Chances are something similar will be on the exam, and you want to get as good of a grade as possible. Plus, if he is there…
You swallow thickly. Now is not the time to let Mina’s previous words get to you.
And so, with your notebook tucked underneath an arm, you take off.
It’s a damned shame that his office is practically on the other side of campus, but you figure it wouldn’t be too bad to get your body moving after spending so much time hunched over. Now that you think about, you could just email him, but you’re not sure how quick he’d respond. This is a dire moment. Okay, maybe not, but still. Maybe you want to see Professor Bakugou. Maybe.
You’re thankful when you finally enter the building, free of the flurries of snow and the seeping chill. Stomping your feet free from snow, you look around, creeped out yet fascinated by the silent, empty halls. You doubt very many people are here besides lingering staff and the janitors. One could only hope that Professor Bakugou is frequenting his office.
As you draw closer and closer to his office, your footsteps bounce off the walls, reminding you of how alone you are. There’s a fifty/fifty chance that he’s even going to be in his office, yet your heart pounds frantically in your chest. If he isn’t there, you’ll just simply turn around and stalk back to your dorm and hope for the best. If he is there, well, you’re not entirely sure what you should say.
He’s your teacher, dammit. It shouldn’t be this hard going up to him and asking him for help. It’s literally his job to help students out; nothing more, nothing less. Still, Mina’s words ring throughout your mind. It’s just a crush, you remind yourself. Stop getting so worked up about it.
There it is, just straight up ahead – Professor Bakugou’s office.
Like the other offices lining the hall, it’s made from a heavy wood, a frosted window place in the top half with Professor Bakugou’s name printed on it. A simple door like this shouldn’t intimidate you so much, but yet it does. All you have to do is knock on it, wait for a possible response, and then go from there. However, now that you’re in front of it, you somewhat hope he’s not there. Your palms are growing clammy and your throat feels fuzzy.
“Here goes nothing,” you tell yourself, reaching up and rapping on the door.
For a moment, nothing happens. Perhaps Lady Luck has decided to spare some mercy on you, after all. Releasing a pent-up breath you didn’t know you were even holding, you prepare to step back and walk away, but then a muffled come in sounds through the door.
Oh, shit.
You wince as your cowardice floods you with a renewed force. There’s no way you can just leave now, not if you want Professor Bakugou potentially chasing you down. Taking in a deep breath, you turn the brass knob and poke your head inside. “Uh, Professor Bakugou?”
Oh, shit.
There he is, sitting behind an oak desk, hunched down over a stack of papers. He holds up a single finger, a signal for you to give him a moment. Immediately, your eyes skim over his exposed forearms, skim over the tight black turtleneck that fits him like a glove. Rolled sleeves, watch on wrist, and a pair of glasses perched on his nose, he’s just dripping with classy sexiness.
The steady tick tock, tick tock fills the otherwise silent room. It grates on your already wired nerves, mocks you for just standing there, waiting. You can’t help but glance at its face – 5:49. It’s already dark out, winter’s everlasting darkness sapping the Earth’s light. Stepping fully inside the room, you gently shut the door behind you, not wanting to interrupt his train of thought.
After another moment or so, he finally clicks his pen closed, tosses it onto the desk, and leans back in his chair. “Oi – what do you want?”
Removing your notebook from underneath your arm, you hold it out for him to take. “I was… I was wondering if you could explain how to work out this problem?”
Quirking an eyebrow, Professor Bakugou sits upright and glances at what you’ve written. “We discussed this during the study session on Friday.” His eyes dart up to yours. “I’m surprised you weren’t there.”
Is he singling you out right now? It feels like he’s singling you out right now. But wait, doesn’t that also mean that he noticed you not being there? He’s just saying that to say it, right? …Right?
“There was a lot on my mind,” you say softly.
Professor Bakugou sighs. “Alright, come here.” Maybe it’s the gruffness of his voice, but the simple command nearly has you whimpering on the spot. Jesus, you need to get your act together!
“Of course, sir,” you reply, the title subconsciously rolling off your tongue. Skirting around the desk, you come to his side, unaware of him shifting in his seat.
“It’s really not that hard if you put your damned brain to use,” he grunts, picking his pen back up. You notice how the tendons in his hand flex with the subtle movement; actually, now that you’re up close in personal, you can clearly see the veins racing up his forearms, the sheen of blond hairs.
Warmth seems to radiate off of him, just like how Mina said. You wonder if he gets hot easily, or if that’s just the way he is. Either way, you shimmy the slightest bit closer to him, eager to ward off the chill that still clings to you from the outside. He goes into great detail about how to go through each step surrounding the problem; you lean over his shoulder as he goes through the steps, the heat emanating from his skin drawing you in more and more. With each breath, the scent of caramel floods your senses. You’re almost half tempted to press your nose to his nape and get a better smell, but that’d just be creepy. Plus, even if you did that, Professor Bakugou could probably pick you up and literally throw you out of his office.
Still, despite knowing the risk, your mind takes off, just like it usually does whenever you’re in his presence. It would just be so easy to squeeze his thick arms, to run your fingers through his thick blonde hair. Maybe you could push the collar of his turtleneck down, expose his neck and bite the pulse. It’s almost ridiculous just how big he is, how easily he could overpower you. A familiar warmth floods your system, encasing your insides and clutching onto your heart. This is bad – very, very bad.
“Oi, what the hell are you staring at?” Professor Bakugou barks.
Snapping yourself back to attention, you notice him staring at you, his glasses now off his handsome face. If possible, he’s even more attractive up close; thick lashes, full lips, a slight gleam in his eyes that demand power and control. He almost looks entirely different like this, face lax instead of fixed with a scowl. Good lord, you really are whipped for him.
“Oh, um, sorry,” you ramble, eyes going wide. “It’s just that your hair looks really�� fluffy…?”
“…Hah?”
You quickly avert your eyes. “Nevermind…”
“You know,” Professor Bakugou starts, voice low, “you stare at me a lot during class, too. You’re not very subtle.”
You wince at his words. “I… I’m not sure what you’re talking about-“
Rolling his eyes, he scoffs and tosses down his pen. “You’re not majoring in theatre, are you? Because you suck at acting.” He flashes you a cocky smirk when you look back to him. “Just admit it – you like what you see, don’t ya? Can’t say I blame you.”
Okay, wow, cocky much. Yeah, sure, he’s an absolute babe, but wouldn’t you think he’d be a bit more… modest?
Now it’s your turn to scoff. “Didn’t know my math professor thought so highly of himself.”
“Tch. Looks like you got a damn mouth on you, after all. Well, if you’re done undressing me with your eyes, do you want to learn how to do this problem or not? I don’t like repeating myself, but I’ll let it slide just this once since I like you.”
Wait, wait, hold up. Did he just say he likes you?
“You’re a good student,” Professor Bakugou continues. “Even if you do focus on me more than my lecture.”
Is this how the conversation was supposed to play out? Because damn you’re nearly shaking, and you still have your coat on. He knows too much, dammit. He’s known this entire time and he’s playing you.
“And yet you could’ve easily told me to stop,” you shoot right back, sick of being prosecuted like this. Sure, it might be a bad idea to pick a fight with a teacher, but this is outside of classroom hours; and, frankly, he can kiss your ass. Crude demeanor or not, you’re not about to let this man push you around.
“Who said I wanted you to stop?”
No. There’s no way he just said that. This big-headed narcissist is relishing in this, isn’t he? Bastard.
“Hate to break it to you, Professor, but almost everyone stares at you like that,” you tell him. You realize you just admitted it to the accusation, but there’s no point in defending it anymore.
“Like I give a shit about the others? Really? You’re gonna talk about them?” He scoffs his amusement and leans back in his chair, thick arms crossing over his chest. “Did you come here to ask me questions about the exam or did you just want to be with me all by yourself?”
You hesitate. Is that really the reason you came here tonight? The whole way here you debated this yourself, Mina’s words circling around your head. No, you’re smarter than this. It’s a bad idea to get involved with a teacher – it’s wrong.
“I’m not going to lie or deny the truth,” Professor Bakugou continues, his voice dropping to an uncharacteristically low pitch. “I’m also not stupid. You’re just as scared as me, aren’t you? Of the repercussions.”
Your mouth falls agape. What is he going on about…?
Slowly, Professor Bakugou sits back up, his face getting dangerously close to yours. Hot breath fans over the bottom half of your face. His eyes are heavily lidded, his lashes kissing his cheeks. “I’m not going to force anything on you,” he murmurs. “Tell me to stop and I will.”
Oh my god.
Unable to resist the close proximity anymore, you shoot forward, your hands landing on the arms of the chair; Professor Bakugou’s lips are softer than you anticipated, but in no way is he gentle. Right away he’s clutching the back of your neck, dragging you forward so you’re settled on his lap. The arms of the chair pinch into your thighs at the tight fit, but you could care less. You’re on Professor Bakugou’s lap, you have his tongue in your mouth, his hands landing on your ass and kneading the flesh.
“Fuck, I’ve been wanting to do this forever,” he growls, his hands slipping under your shirt and gliding over your lower back. You arch into his touch, a breathless moan slipping past your lips.
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” you pant.
“I know.”
Fuck, it’s all so good, his tongue licking the inside of your mouth and hands unbuttoning your jeans. A startled noise erupts from your throat as a large hand slides into the front of your pants, cupping your crotch. You buck into his touch, all sense dissipating from your thoughts as you fervently grind into his heated palm. There’s a clutter of paper and office supplies as they hit the floor. Before you know it, you’re rising from the chair, your ass landing on the wooden desk instead.
“Fuck, you’re so fucking hot,” Professor Bakugou grits. Your ass is barely on the desk by the time he’s done dragging you forward, your jeans aggressively getting yanked off, your underwear following suit. Your thighs instinctively snap shut at the cold air making contact with your bared skin, but strong hands pry them apart, fingertips kneading into the flesh. “I wanna make you cum with my tongue.”
“Wai- Ah! Fuck!” you cry out, your fingers clutching onto the edge of the desk as his head ducks down, his mouth latching onto your sex. Until now, you weren’t even aware that you were dripping with arousal. Sinful noises spill from between your legs as Professor Bakugou fucks you with his mouth, his lips wrapping around your most sensitive parts.
“God, you’re such a slut.”
Smack.
You cry out as he brings a hand down on the innermost part of your thigh; your nerves quake, your blood pumps wildly through your veins. Again, he slaps your thigh, a growl tearing itself from his chest as he looks up, his eyes catching yours.
“Say it.”
Smack.
“I – I’m a slut,” you babble, tongue feeling heavy in your mouth.
Smack.
“What was that?”
“I said I’m a slut!” you exclaim, voice cracking.
“I expect you to refer to me properly,” he says darkly, his pupils dilating to the point where you could barely see his irises. “Got it?”
“Yes, sir.”
A single smirk is thrown your way before his mouth is back on you, his tongue lapping up your arousal. His moves are quick, sensual. It’s clear he’s experienced, and you don’t blame him. Just look at him for Christ’s sake. The man is basically sex on legs, all nicely wrapped up in a turtleneck sweater and a simple pair of slacks. The pleasure only heightens as his fingers come into play, prodding at your hole; the tips just barely push past the muscle, leaving you moaning even louder and clutching harder on the desk. Your fingernails scratch the surface, the lacquer coming off.
“Tasty little brat, aren’t ya?” he drawls. Your entire body jolts as he spits on your sex. “I could get used to doing this.”
“Please, sir,” you plead, desperation filling your voice. You want his mouth back on you. You want to cum. “Please, it feels so good…”
Professor Bakugou clicks his tongue. “Shit, you’re even obedient. How nice.” He redoubles his efforts, then, wet noises filling the room along with your heavy breathing.
“Shit, shit, oh my god,” you babble, your body tensing. Still, his tongue digs in just right and there goes your sanity, flying out the window as you cum.
A deep chuckle fills your ears as Professor Bakugou sucks it down; drawing away, he flashes you his tongue, your arousal coating his tongue before he makes a show of swallowing the last bit of it. Wiping his mouth off with the back of his hand, he draws to a stand. The tent in his slacks is obvious, the front of it darker than the rest. Your insides squeeze around nothing, the idea of making him get like that making you feel hotter than before.
You’re hypnotized as he pulls his hands away. His movements are slow and methodical, the clink of his belt echoing throughout the room. Swallowing thickly, you bite your lip as he leisurely undoes his belt and slacks. Blood rushes through your ears, your mind a complete mess. You feel dizzy with want, with the need to sink your teeth into the swell of his pectoral, to claw the plains of his back.
All the air is sucked from your lungs when he finally pulls his cock out, the head flushed a deep red. Your eyes trail over the prominent veins, the fat bead of precum pushing its way out the tip. Fuck, he’s huge, both in length and girth. Whoever told Mina that he was big wasn’t lying. Your legs subconsciously spread even wider, a silent plead for him to fill you up and fuck you raw.
“Tell me you want this,” he husks. He does the honor of unzipping your coat and slipping it off your shoulders before easing you onto your back. The cold from the wood permeates through your shirt, brings a new wave of goosebumps to your flesh.
“Only if you tell me the same thing,” you croak. “Do you fuck all of your students who walk in through that door?”
“No,” Professor Bakugou blatantly says, and you can tell he’s being earnest. “It’s wrong of me to think so, but I’ve been wanting to do something with you since I saw you. It sounds like some sappy bullshit, but it’s the truth. I was too much of a pussy to ask you out for a coffee.”
Something about hearing him confess his feelings to you sets your heart alight. A slight smile tugs at your lips. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”
“Tch. And you’re a fucking brat.”
Hunching over you, a large hand plants itself by your head while the other guides his cock to your awaiting hole. A shaky breath passes through your mouth as he pushes himself in; the stretch burns, his thick cock filling you up in a way that you didn’t even know was possible.
“Fuck, you’re tight,” he breathes. “Look at you, sucking in my cock like that. What a good little slut. I bet you’ve been waiting for this, haven’t you? I bet you touched yourself while thinking about this very moment, about me fucking you on my desk like this.” A surprised squeak bursts from your throat as he grabs your legs and throws him over his shoulders, effectively bending you in half. “Gotta fuck you nice and deep, right? Because that’s how a slut like you likes it.”
Like this, with your knees almost touching your ears, the tip of his cock hits your soft spot. A pathetic whimper comes from you as he grinds his cock into you, his eyes carefully watching your erotic expressions, figuring out what you like best.
Before long, he’s fucking into with vigor, his hips moving restlessly. His cock pounds into you mercilessly, the slap of skin against skin mixing with your cries. His mouth is at your throat, teeth skimming your jugular before he latches onto your thundering pulse. You helplessly claw at his shoulders, your fingers bunching into the fabric of his shirt. You’re so fucking full, your velvety walls clamping around his cock selfishly. A blend of curses and yes, fuck, you fucking slut fill your ears; he’s panting hard, a slight chuckle breaking through every once in a while.
“Fucking let everyone know who’s fucking you this good,” he grits. “Jesus, look at the mess you’re making…”
“Professor Bakugou!” you whine. “Your cock feels so good… Fuck, fuck, oh my god, yes-“
“Katsuki. My name is Katsuki.”
Katuski.
The name rolls around your brain like a loose bolt. It settles on the tip of your tongue, just waiting to be let out.
It’s when you cum that you shout his name, your walls tightening around him harshly while your nails dig into the meat of his shoulders. A load groan rumbles from the depths of his chest as he follows suit shortly after, his hips moving erratically as his cum splashes against your insides.
The both of you are sweating, panting messes by the time he finally pulls out. You whimper as you clench around nothing, the emptiness a bit too much to bear. Surprisingly, Professor Bakugou – no, Katsuki – is gentle as he cleans you up, his free hand rubbing your side. Swallowing your pride, you clear your throat.
His eyes flick up, land on yours. “What.”
“Do you…” You worry your bottom lip. “Do you want to get coffee sometime?”
Katsuki snorts. “Wow, got a real fucking charmer here, don’t I? How about you come to my place instead and I make you a proper dinner. You didn’t eat yet, did you?”
As if on cue, your stomach growls. Well, you did deny Mina’s offer for dinner, after all. You smile nervously and give him a shrug.
Chest swelling (with pride, you assume), Katsuki flashes you a cocky smile. “I’m a damn good cook, brat. I’ll cook a meal that will have you weak in the knees.”
“Maybe… Maybe you could finally show me how to do that problem?” you offer.
He rolls his eyes. “Will you finally pay attention this time or will I have to pound it into your brain?”
#mha#my hero academia#bnha#boku no hero academia#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugo katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugou#bakugou katsuki#bakugou#mha bakugou#bnha bakugou#mha smut#bnha smut#empress writes#tw age difference
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Soul Rider redesigns that'll never happen because they've already been updated. Under the read more because this'll probably be long again
Lisa
Honestly keep things mostly the same, but flesh out backstory a bit differently. Bring back the obviously dyed and spiky hair and some lingering punk vibes. Maybe bring the green eyes back? A lil more androgynous as well.
Backstory ideas: as Lisa grew up she looked more and more like her mom, which as a young teen was not great for her grief looking in the mirror so she started dying her hair, cutting it short, didn't go outside/get sunlight, and used those skin lightening creams, making her much paler. She got into emo, punk, and rock from the understandable combo of Grieving Teen + normal teen angst + moving constantly due to her dad's work so she didn't really have any roots or solid 'home' after her mom died. Sometimes you just gotta sing some screamo metal to get your anger and grief out. But as she grows up and comes to terms she goes into her mother's things and picks up her mom's old guitar and starts plunking on it for the first time since her mom died. Oh also her mother still died in a car accident, not a riding accident. Lisa's trauma/hesitancy to get on a horse comes from her own injury when she was little combined with horseback riding being a thing that reminds her of her mother (but without the trauma of horse riding being the thing that killed her mother). Lisa's transition to more country vibes and branching into country music is her reconnecting (and coping with) the memories of her mother. Androgynous enough that she could pass as a guy with minimal effort, especially when wearing masculine/gender neutral clothes. Definitely was mistaken as a scene/emo guy when younger and came up with "Lee", her masculine character when she'd blow out her voice from screaming too much or get sick and lose her voice, as her husky/gravely voice was easily mistaken for a dude's voice. Rejecting feminine things (aka things that reminded her/made her look more like her mom) led Lisa into a gender non conforming/gender questioning phase. While still generally identifying with she/her, Lisa isn't bothered by confusion and actively enjoys bringing out "Lee" now and then.
Linda
Keep her pretty similar, just make her obviously pear shaped and thick. Absolutely no thigh gap on her. Thick thighs, wide hips. If she's standing next to Lisa and Alex and you can't tell who has the biggest butt it's wrong. Maybe darker skin?
Anne
Bring back the model thing and make her fat. I don't mean "curvy but acceptably skinny" I mean fat. Make her feminine and have her love being feminine and trying new make up and fashion ideas and love her body and weight and appearance. Make it not a bad thing to be feminine and not want to be academic!
This is Anne now
I want people to get mad that there is a fat girl (though Linda certainly would be considered 'overweight' by doctors as well, and anyone who is an ass about wanting stick thin girls with big butts as if that's how that works) who is a very happy highly feminine successful model and loves her body! Have her cocky and confident with remarks that she's always drop dead gorgeous even after a week camping with the soul riders without any showers or make up. Let her have some absolutely wild make up choices like she randomly picked the make up for the day to see if she could make something new and exciting. Hell she'd probably enjoy being a make up/fashion Jortuber.
Alex
Sabine's body type, tall with obvious bulk and muscles (and also belly pudge! she aint no fitness instagramer she's got fat!), possibly shorter hair, like sloppy chopped chin length or shorter (she attempted to do an undercut and botched it, now she's letting it grow out so Maya can help her so she isn't trying to use clippers on the back of her head). her clothes are obviously from thrift stores or hand me downs from her brothers and 90% of the time more masculine. She's still a mechanic and carries around an 'essential' tool kit (that also has snacks) just in case she needs to repair a tractor or car or generator on the fly. She is not at all fussed when people mistake her for a guy and just sorta shrugs with a "yeah sure that works".
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i. the girl in the foxes’ den.
chapter one. queen of shiratorizawa.
a/n: dedicated to @godjo because reasons :’)
WHALE BONE HUGGED TIGHTLY at your ribcage, the silk ribbons of your corset pinching and pulling all of your body’s fat into your waist to the point where you could barely breathe past the stays. Bent over your vanity, fingers gripping the painted wood so firmly that your knuckles went white, you exhaled a shaky breath and pushed all of the air from your lungs as the maid pulled a final time. Tears squeezed past your lashes when she finished, adding an additional jerk to knot the bow tightly. You remained over the vanity even when she departed to your closet to retrieve a dress for you to wear for the evening, your breaths shallow and uneven. With each tiny inhale, you watched your chest—pushed past decent and bordering on obscene with the aid of extra fabric—rise and fall, and felt a red flush creep up your neck from the exertion.
“Your Highness, your dress for the morning.” You watched the maid lay a gorgeous gown upon the crushed velvet duvet on your bed through the mirror, the rich purple appearing like ripples of waves under the rays of sunlight peeking through your window. She patted it down and turned to face you, hands clasped primly in front of her like all the maids were taught, docile as if she hadn’t just forced you into a corset that was a few sizes too small for you. She’d dug that monstrosity out from your prepubescent teenage years and insisted you would fit into it. “You will be meeting with Sister Yui to discuss the rising number of—”
“I’m aware of what my schedule is,” you interrupted her, struggling to straighten your shoulders out to their fullest potential. There was an odd stiffness in your spine from the corset and you tried to appear as natural as possible, relaxing your abdominal muscles against the tight space. “What I want to know is news from my brother. Has there been any word from either he or Tendou?”
The maid had the nerve to shake her head and look disappointed for you rather than at you. You were offended that she had the gall to do it in front of you as well. “I’m afraid not, my lady. None of the messengers have been moved since yesterday.”
You stared at your face in the mirror and patted delicately at the perspiration dotting your forehead with a silk handkerchief. The room was hot—perhaps it was just you—and you were irritated. First with the maid, who had some spine on her to pity you, and now with your brother’s apparent lack of communication with the messengers. If Wakatoshi wasn’t seriously hurt, you were going to rip him a new one for ignoring all of your letters and indirectly putting you in charge of managing his affairs while he was away.
“Very well then.” Squinting in the mirror, you plucked at a stray hair near your eyebrow and fueled all of your inner rage into a placid mask of complacency and politeness. They should bow down on the ground and worship you for the effort it took to deal with the foolish people milling about you like clockwork. It certainly was an exhausting endeavor on its own. “And the harpies that are eating my breakfast on the veranda?”
The maid looked at you with quick, wide eyes. You just barely caught it in the mirror, loosely plucking at hairs that weren’t there, and lowered your hand to the vanity with a smug smile. You’d thought as much; it was far too quiet inside the palace for it to be just you and the staff present. There was someone else here, a multitude of someones, ones you hadn’t invited yourself. No, it was more likely that the woman who envisioned herself as Wakatoshi’s future Queen had invited herself and her entourage and simultaneously manipulated the entire staff into serving her as if she was the Queen. You could see the truth of it in the maid’s face.
You sighed and set down the tweezers in your hand, drumming your fingers against the vanity. Since you were already in a corset, there was no reason for you to make the torture you’d gone through worthless in the end, so you couldn’t wear one of the foreign dresses with gaping slashes from neck to navel just to shock them, but you had another plan in mind, one that would be equally as shocking, especially for a princess of your renown. You just had to show that try-hard Duke’s daughter what she would be competing against for the rest of her life: you.
For it to work, though… Your eyes went to the maid through the mirror again, contemplative, and she squirmed under your gaze. You needed the trust of the staff, which was obviously being swindled in that Duke’s daughter’s favor—they were all stupidly gullible when someone turned on the water works and begged for their help. No, you needed to get rid of her and do this on your own, or else they would warn them in advance.
“Leave,” you said airily, waving your hand towards the door and picking up a livid red shade of lipstick. The gold, spherical case cast your reflection back at you, as pristine as the day it had been gifted to you by the heir of the Haiba family, a famous producer of cosmetics among royalty. You were sure that Lev wouldn’t mind if you used his precious formula to put a gold digger in her place.
“I’m sorry?” The maid squeaked, then amended,”Your Highness?”
You turned around and raised your eyebrows, lipstick in one hand and the other pointing to the door. She just indirectly proved that she was obeying that bitch’s orders and not yours. “I told you to leave. Do I really need to repeat myself?”
“M-My Lady—”
“I said go,” you repeated, sauntering over to your fireplace and removing the sword mounted over it. It had been a gift from Wakatoshi, as avid a swordsman as ever, and still had a sharp edge to its blade. You had used it to cut off greedy fingers on more than one occasion and you had no issue with using it on a disrespectful maid’s face for questioning you.
She was gone before you even fully turned around. You heard her footsteps thumping against the marble floor in your room and outside the door, then down the hall, presumably to report to her new mistress how awful you were. Of course, your reputation as a meek, docile, and pacifistic woman was indestructible—no one would believe her even if she had solid proof. You and Wakatoshi had spread that little rumor yourselves, backed it up in public and in private, so no one would think twice about it, especially coming from a maid who had a lot to gain from slandering nobles.
This was how you worked. This was how Wakatoshi wanted you to work—to protect yourself from anyone who might wish to harm you or the kingdom. One wrong move and you could drag them down to the darkest pits of hell with no way to get out, wishing they were dead but completely at your mercy. You were Shiratorizawa’s trump card, their magnum opus; one wrong move against you was one wrong move against the entire kingdom.
And Kurotsuchi Yui had just made one disastrous move against you.
You had to admit, your plan would certainly raise eyebrows, but you were highly known for your adventures into fashion—it was all you wanted to do besides crush your enemies into smithereens—and, well, it wasn’t as if there weren’t more progressive kingdoms who wore equally as daring clothing in their day to day life. Shiratorizawa wasn’t one of them, but if you set your mind to it… It may just play a double edged sword.
Your plan cemented in your mind, you skipped over to your closet and immediately sought out your riding pants in the mess of silk, chiffon, and muslin. They were high quality, form hugging, and absolutely impolite to wear in normal company if you weren’t riding for the day, but it wasn’t as if you weren’t riding later on; you’d just have to ride your own horse to the orphanage instead of taking a carriage. It wasn’t something to complain about, your muscles needed the workout anyways. Desk work was so gentle on the body, Wakatoshi complained, and you seconded that thought.
Your riding pants secured, you scoured your closet for that one blouse you had been gifted by a notorious lingerie designer down in the red district during your routine checks to make sure everyone was abiding by the new tax laws in place. It had been so scandalous that you had tossed it in your trunk without a second thought, face flaming red (this was also when you were younger, you would have never been so ashamed if it were recent). But now, you were going to put it to good use, and you prayed it still looked like it would fit.
Pulling it out from the almost back of your closet, hidden behind absolute mammoth dresses from a time of ballgowns and petticoats, you grinned at your triumphant discovery, marveling in the delicate lace hem and high collar. It was as gorgeous as you remembered it and the perfect weapon to teach Yui a lesson.
Only… You stared at the collar of the shirt and the deep identical slashes in the arms to expose your shoulders, as well as cutouts in the sides to flash your hips to the world. Isn’t it a little too revealing?
It was too late now to back out of your plan, however. You had at least another twenty minutes before breakfast was over and the women scattered to various parts of the castle to conduct their own little ‘tours’ as if they were supposed to be there. You left your hair alone, as it was fine after running a brush through it, and only wore the smallest amount of makeup because you had an impression to make. Wakatoshi had told you that you looked intimidating when you wore a full face of make-up and wondered what your eagle form would be if you ever got it.
As you got dressed, you had to wonder if you would ever get your eagle form at all. Wakatoshi had gotten his at an early age, but that was typical for the men in your family. The women got theirs around eighteen or so, but you had yet to get yours, already in your twenties. You’d always wanted to experience the joy of flying, hearing stories from soldiers about how it felt to soar through the skies, and while Wakatoshi was more than happy to take you flying, it just wasn’t the same. It was your only disappointment to your mother in your entire life, one she never got over even on her deathbed. Your father was more considerate about it, having been born outside of Shiratorizawa, and treated you like he treated Wakatoshi: like his child. Your mother was not so kind.
You tugged the shirt over your head and let it settle over your body in a rush of fabric. It was tight and form fitting, not what you had expected from it off of the hanger, and somehow held the high collar in place. You couldn’t actually see the corset through it or the gaps in the sides, but you could tell you were wearing one by the way your chest was supported. Overall, it looked new, like you’d intended, and the complete opposite of the trends going on at the moment. If you could turn the tides, that would be just another thing to rub in Yui’s face.
Content with your choice, you tugged on your riding boots and strode out the door, snatching up your riding crop and leather gloves on the way out. You pulled your gloves on as you walked down the hall, clenching and unclenching your fists to break in the slightly new leather. There were no guards or maids in sight as you sauntered down the hallways; you could make out the faint laughter coming from the veranda, each high pitched cackle sounding suspiciously like Yui. Her laugh reminded you of a duck; cuck, cuck, cuck in the back of her throat, never from her chest, and it irritated both you and Wakatoshi whenever you heard it in polite company.
When you stepped out onto the veranda, you realized where all of your guards and maids had vanished to. They stood catering Kurotsuchi Yui and her group of crones, guarding them as if there was some threat to be had against their person, the only one of which was you if you could get your hands around one of their pretty little necks.
“And then I—Oh!” Yui noticed you as she was doing a cursory sweep of the women to make sure they were laughing along with her. The slight trepidation that crept in her voice had you smiling internally; you were the one in charge with Wakatoshi gone. “[Name], I didn’t think you were going to join us. I thought you had joined King Ushijima on his scouting retinue.”
That was an awful excuse and she knew it. There was always an Ushijima at Shiratorizawa when one was away, even a fool knew that. She was digging for crumbs of a reason and failing.
“Of course I wasn’t,” you blinked innocently. You took the only empty chair at the other end of the table, across from Yui at the head, and crossed your legs to rest your riding crop over your knee. “I don’t know where you got that idea from. I also don’t know where you got the idea that you’re welcome here.”
The girls sitting around Yui squirmed in their seats while Yui herself fumed.
“I’m the future Queen,” she informed, red flushing into her cheeks. “Everyone says so.”
“Do they really?” You deadpanned, reaching over and snatching up a piece of fruit from a platter. It was from the royal garden, an even greater offense; she was being served like a royal in the family. Your mother was rolling over in her grave at the slight. “It makes no difference to me because in the end, you’ll never be queen if I have a say in it. And you know I do, Yui.”
She was completely silent, glowering at you from across the table because she knew you were right.
“Anyway.” You tilted a glass of wine around, watching the dark red liquid swirl against the sides. “All of the maids who are here, you’re fired. Gather your things immediately and make your way to the royal gold minister and get your last pay. Knights, return to the barracks and switch out with the Elite Knights under the conception of manipulation.”
With that, you had effectively upped the rigidity of the palace and simultaneously stripped Yui of all of her support and backing in one fell swoop, just like an Ushijima should. She was shaking with anger when the maids and knights began their melancholy walk back inside the palace to make their way to their respective areas.
“It was nice seeing you, Yui.” You stood up and smiled, gathering your riding crop and turning towards the building where your horse was being housed. “Hopefully I don’t have to see you again.”
The threat underlying it went unsaid: you would do worse next time.
Laughter bubbling up in your throat, you bit your lips and made your way to the stalls, the stablehand saddling up your gorgeous Perlino mare that Wakatoshi had gotten you for your fifteenth birthday. She was vicious and maternal and the best friend a girl could ask for; she had a slight biting issue with men, but that wasn’t something you felt like fixing. If anything, you encouraged it, relishing in the shocked expressions of the men who tried to impress you by showing you how to ‘handle’ a horse. It was the highlight of your day.
As you were riding towards the orphanage, a pair of Elite Knights at your side, you looked up in the sky and spotted an unusual number of eagle shifters soaring through the clouds at a breakneck pace. Assuming it was just Wakatoshi returning from his trip, you looked back down and focused on heading to the orphanage, unaware of the world shattering news that they carried with them…
And the announcement of the new Queen of Shiratorizawa.
MASTERLIST.
< PROLOGUE | TWO >
#miya atsumu x reader x miya osamu#miya atsumu x reader#miya atsumu x female reader#miya osamu x reader#miya osamu x female reader#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#haikyū!!
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jj maybank blurb #1
a/n: sooooo this is the first ever obx related thing i ever wrote!! it’s a blrub (obviously) and i was slightly drunk as i wrote it so i am very sorry about the errors! it started out as a joke but then i got really into it....enjoy!!
ps this is nsfw
Summer time was always your favorite time of year. Not only was it the best weather at the cut, you got to spend as much time as possible with the pogues
You and Kie were reformed kooks, it wasn’t until high school that you realized the pogue life was more both of your guys’ speeds. You guys soon found John B, Pope, and JJ to spend all your time with.
JJ. You’re convinced you’ve been in love with him since the moment your delusional 14 year old ass madde eye contact with him the first day of freshman year. It wasn’t until Kie forced you to become friends with him, though, that you actually thought it might be true.
He was loyal and kind but still not someone who could be messed with which you found incredibly hot. It’s been four years since then, and you’re just as delusionally in love with him as ever
The school year was freshly over and you the pogues were already inseparable which meant a lot of time at John B’s house no matter the state it was in
Hanging with the pogues consisted of the following: smoking weed, talking shit, eating hot chip, and telling the truth. Because you never lied to a fellow pogue. There was also the commonplace kegger, which is where you guys found yourselves tonight
You usually kept to yourself at keggers since drugs and alcohol weren’t usually your thing, but it was the end of your senior year and you were ready to party
The night dragged on and you were a couple of PBR’s deep and definitely starting to feel it, but not nearly as much as JJ
Keggers at the boneyard always brought out the best in JJ, besides the time he nearly killed Topper
He was singing, dancing with strangers, all the while laughing with you in a way that you made you feel like you were the only other person on the beach
You thought that it was just typical, flirty JJ, just amplified with alcohol, but then he kept getting closer and closer to you until the point that instead of dancing with strangers, he was dancing with you
It wasn’t grinding per say but it definitely would not have been allowed at your private catholic middle school, that’s for sure
You ignored the whoops and hollers from Kie and Pope and just tried to bask in the glory that you were finally the sole object of JJ’s attention. No one and nothing else mattered at this point. The only thing that you could focus on was the barely-there feeling of him behind you, his hands ghosting your hips as if he was scared to break you
Boys are so stupid, how could he not realize that this was everything you had ever wanted?
“I’m not going to break, you know” you whisper to him over the back of your shoulder, trying not to feel embarrassed by how breathy your voice sounded
“Just trying to be respectful, Y/N. No pogue on pogue macking, you know” he didn’t sound like the confident JJ you knew from all of his previous conquests. If this wasn’t JJ you were talking about, you might even go as far to say that he sounded nervous.
The alcohol gave you the confidence boost you needed as you grabbed his ring covered hands and situated them on your hips, inviting his hips to finally make contact with you. “Who said anything about macking?”
You heard him clear his throat behind you, but it almost sounded like he was trying to cover up a cough or, daresay, a moan
You two continued to dance for a couple of more songs, hsi hands getting more confident as time went on. He never crossed any lines, but he made sure to trace the outlines of the hips and where they connected to your thighs and where your torso started to turn into your chest. You guys were outside in front of all of your friends and complete strangers, afterall, so you were glad he was keeping it pg-13 but now that you have had a taste of his wandering hands, you were getting impatient.
You spun around to face him, his hands still firmly planted at your sides, your hands resting on his shoulders. He looked flushed and his hair was slightly messed up from where you had been tugging on it haphazardly from behind your back. But the part that struck you the most were his eyes: you knew him always as this ball of energy, of passion, but now he was looking at you with something just short of passion. It was tender and calm, but you could tell he was holding back. His eyes followed your every breath. You had never seen him look so beautiful in your life.
“Where’d you learn to move like that Y/L/N?” it was barely above a whisper. You could tell he was trying to laugh it off but he just sounded breathless.
You couldn’t help but return the same nervous laughter, not having drank enough to completely forget the fact that you had just been dancing on, not with, but on, your long time crush on the beach you had known and loved since you could barely walk
“I guess it’s just natural, raw talent. No one has ever asked me to dance like this before. I’m just as surprised as you are.”
He smiled down at you, “Well, everyone else is missing out.”
“I’m sure you’ve had plenty of pretty girls dancing on you on this very beach”
“None like this. And none of them were you, so” he trailed off and looked down at where his hands joined with your hips, looking back up at you ever so slightly.
“Well now you’re just lying but it’s ok, I’ll allow it. I gave up on truth seeking a drink and a half ago” You turned back around, hoping he didn’t see you blush before you did.
But before you could get back to dancing, he spun you back around, holding you closer than ever, his breath hot on in your ear “I’m being serious. You don’t know how long I’ve wanted you just like this, with me”
Your breath caught in your throat, you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. After all this time...no, no. It was just because he was drunk, right? “JJ...you’re drunk. You don’t mean it”
“I’m three beers behind you, baby. I know exactly what I’m saying. I know exactly how I feel and I’m sick of pretending like I don’t.” You looked up at him and despite the definitive nature of what he was saying, his eyes weren’t meeting yours and the redness was creeping from the high points of his cheeks to where his clavicles disappeared under his Marina T Shirt. “If anything, you’re the drunk one and I should shut my big fat mouth before I get myself in trou-”
You cut him off by grabbing his face in both of your hands and bringing his lips down to yours. It took him all of three seconds to catch on, his strong arms somehow pulling you closer than you already were, wrapping around the small of your back. Your hands found his way into his hair, his gorgeous hair that you had admired for so long, finally in your grasp as God had intended.
It was the best thirty seconds of your life, and then it was over. With his forehead resting against yours and his breath heavy on your lips, he paused “Wait but you’re….you’re wasted...this isn’t how I wanted this to happen”
“I may not be able to walk in a straight line toe to toe right now but I know that I’ve wanted you for years and I’m not going to let you be a hero and ruin this. For once, I want to be stupid and not have to worry about the consequences.”
He let out another breathy laugh against your lips before he was on yours again. His hands found either side of your face, holding on for dear life.
“How about that no pogue on pogue macking rule now, huh?” You whispered in between kisses
“Fuck that fucking rule,” he all but growled as he lifted you and your wrapped your legs around his waist, laughing wildly
“Get a fucking room!” You heard Pope yell from a few yards down, his arm draped over some girl you didn’t recognize.
So, you did. You both stumbled up shore to John B’s house, barely being able to keep your hands off each other in the process. John B was somewhere off with Sarah and neither Kie or Pope had left the boneyard yet, so the house was empty and, most importantly, the guest room was vacant.
If you ever got there, of course.
As soon as you got in the door, you wedged between it and JJ. You didn’t realize his kisses could have been any better but now that there weren’t any wandering eyes he was no longer holding back. His hands were resting between your jaw and neck, then they were on your chest, and then all of a sudden he was lifting you up once more, trying to stumble his way to the doorway of his unofficial bedroom.
If a couple of picture frames fell off the wall as you both drunkenly tried to kiss and walk, that was simply going to have to be an issue for the morning.
“We have to be quiet!” You halfheartedly reminded him as he bumped into the wall especially hard, unceremoniously nudging a vase off its shelf
(He caught it with one hand with his scarily fast reflexes. No comment.)
“We’re the only ones here!” He laughed back as he shut the door behind him with his foot, walking you towards the unmade bed. The back of your knees hit the side of the mattress, causing you to fall onto your ass with him standing above you. The way he looked at you made your entire body feel positively on fire with anticipation. Still though, even though he was just assaulting you with some of the most passionate kisses you had ever experienced, his eyes weren’t especially hungry or crazed or predatory as you had imagined. They were still that tender, unsure blue you saw on the beach. You reached out to him, pulling him down beside and close to you, but not kissing him again just yet.
His eyes traced your features as you both tried to catch your breath, his hands once again on your hips and yours on his face, rubbing your thumb against the soft terrain of his cheeks
You almost didn’t hear him say “You are so beautiful” as his eyes went back and forth from your lips to your eyes “I meant it when I said no one was you” he said louder this time “But we really don’t have to do anything. We could go to sleep and pretend like this never happened”
“I kissed you back, remember? I put your hands on me. I want this just as much as you do. If not more”
“There’s no fucking way you want this more than I do, Y/N. You have no fucking clue.”
You rolled your eyes, “I beg to differ. It’s been four years-”
“Try six”
You barely had time to process what he had said before he continued, rolling over to his back so he was no longer looking in your eyes.
“Well that’s impossible because we didn’t meet until-”
“Freshman year, I know. That was when you talked to me for the first time. Doesn’t mean I hadn’t been seeing you around the island. You’ve been hanging around Kie forever and I was always hanging out around her folk’s restaurant. My dad was a cook there for a while before… well…” He trailed off, “What always happens. When I first saw you you had a purple streak in your hair and you were in this bright blue swimsuit and my 12 year old brain didn’t know how to process it. I think you and Kie were helping baby sea turtles get to sea.”
“That sounds like something we’d do,” you said, completely shocked with what you were hearing. You couldn’t take your eyes off his profile, completely mesmerized by the way his jaw muscles waxed and waned as he smiled, remembering details from a life you didn’t know he had known about.
“I felt like a total creep watching you guys like that. I wanted to go up to you so many times that summer, and the summer after that, but even at twelve John B was reminding me that kooks were just kooks, and we were just pogues. He would have never let me hear the end of it if I had gotten rejected by a Kook princess...but I seriously didn’t think I had seen anyone more beautiful in my life. You had braces and purple rimmed glasses then, but you still had that same smile. I was a goner. ”
“I wouldn’t have rejected you.”
He turned to look at you again, one of his hands finding yours in the space between your bodies
“I was 98 pounds and had buck teeth. I would have rejected me.”
You laughed at this, the image of a much smaller, much more innocent JJ bringing you close to tears. He joined in too after a few seconds. He’d tell you later that it was because he just couldn’t believe he was there with you; he’d never been happier.
“Good thing you finally tricked me into being your friend then, I guess. And then, after a whole four years, you plucked up the courage to gett me drunk so you could finally make your move,” You let out one last laugh as you brought a hand back up to his face, unable to keep your hands off for so long.
“I seem to remember you being the one making the moves out there on that beach, but I don’t know, I might need a refresher…”
“Yeah I think I might remember something like this,” You put his hands back on your waist and he pulls you in close, there not being room for anything to be left to the imagination between the two of you.
His eyes were back to flickering between your lips and your eyes, “Yeah this sounds about right,”
Suddenly his lips were back on you, pushing and pulling with the frantic rhythm you set as you grabbed at shis cut off, desperate to finally get your hands on that body you had been (not so subtly) ogling over the past four years.
Getting the message, he rolled you onto your back and sat up, pulling the shirt over his shoulders with one hand, the other braced on the other side of your head.
His lucky shark tooth necklace dangled in front of your face as he yanked his shirt off and got resituated between your legs, pressing against you hot and hard through the thin material of his swim trunks.
Your jaw must have been slacked because he just smirked down at you and chuckled out a, “Enjoying the view?” before he started trailing kisses down your neck to your collar bones to the part of your skin where your bikini top met the soft flesh of your chest.
He looked up at you with hooded eyes before you nodded, giving him the green light to literally do whatever the fuck he wanted
Once you were both topless he looked as though he had never seen another woman naked before, which you knew was a lie, and wasted no time making sure you felt that way too. You couldn't have helped but thought of all the girls he had been in this exact same position with before in a beat of jealousy, but then you remembered that you were the one with the purple streak in her hair six years ago and settled on being grateful that someone, somewhere taught him how to use his tongue like that.
You all but demanded his bottoms to come off to which he met you with a “fair is fair” where yours came off in the same thirty second stretch.
Never before having been exposed like this before, the ever present insecurities and fears started to crawl up your skin and all over you, your arms reflexively flying to cover yourself up
He stopped you immediately, grabbing your arms and putting them above your head as he kissed you behind your ear and then whispering, “Nuh uh. You’re perfect. And not only are you perfect, your days of hiding from me are over, sweetheart.”
He scooted you both up the bed so he could get even more situated between your legs. His arm was still holding your hands above your head as you struggled, desperate to touch him as he started to trail his mouth down your body, past your chest, down your stomach, until he finally couldn’t reach anymore and had to let you go
Your hands instantly combed through his hair as he teased your inner thighs with kisses and the faintest of bites
Now, you had heard rumors of JJ’s prowess in bed, but nothing could have prepared you for what you experienced next. A master of all things oral and, apparently, finger-involving, within minutes you were on a whole other planet, the only things on your mind being the skills his tongue possessed and the faintest echoes of his encouragements as his fingers drove themselves into you: “There you go, good girl.” “You’re so gorgeous like this baby” “Cum for me”
When you finally recovered, you opened your eyes to find him above you, on his knees, smiling down at you with the most shit eating grin you’d ever seen “That good, huh?”
You didn’t give him much more time to gloat as you had already pulled him down to you by the back of his neck, capturing him in another searing kiss as your hips met his desperate for any sort of rush like you had just felt.
You moved down to kiss his neck and you felt him swallow from above you, “Are you sure? Like really sure? I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself if you ended up regretting this in the morning.”
You sighed against his neck and took his face in his hands, making him look you in the eyes one more time, “JJ Maybank. I am laying here, in a post orgasm bliss, begging you to fuck me. So please, take my word for it when I tell you I have never been more sure of anything in my life.”
And suddenly, something in him broke as his hands were all over you once again. He grabbed your thighs, raising them up high on his hips, he grabbed your chest and your ass, the part where your neck met your jaw, all of it. He was a starving man.
It didn’t feel awesome when he first started thrusting, but, quite frankly, he was huge and you were a virgin so, that’s to be expected. But nothing short of two minutes later, after some time for adjustment and encouraging whispers in your ear, you had decided that nothing besides being with him would ever interest you ever again
He kept his hands all over you the whole time, running his fingers up and down your thighs until finally lifting your calves above his shoulders, changing the angle completely as he continued to pound into you
It didn’t hurt though and it wasn’t mean spirited or rough beyond measure, he was kissing anywhere he could reach, whether it be the side of your legs or the fingers he had entertwined with his. He just knew that this was the way he was going to get you to finish, and nothing in the world had ever interested him more
Before long you felt that not in your stomach tighten as his fingers working their magic started to lose their rhythm, right along with the rest of his body. You finished first, his name and “fuck” being the only words left in your vocabulary as you found yourself being thrown off that cliff of desire.
He was still pounding into you, being louder now, letting loose the most extraordinary sounds you had ever heard in your life mingled with the strangled sound of your name and what you could have sworn was “I love you”
After he finally stopped and wiped some of the sweat of his forehead with the back of his hand, he let your jellified legs fall back to your sides, plopping down on the bed next to you.
You both stared at the ceiling before turning to look at each other, both laughing at nothing, before he pulled you into his arms where he kissed your forehead and your nose and your cheeks and your eyelids and finally your lips as you laughed in a way that would have made you gag if you weren’t drunk and if he wasn’t JJ
“That was amazing,” he said finally, his head resting on top of yours and holding you close. “Same time tomorrow?”
“Yeah I think I can make that work in my schedule…” you trailed off as you turned your head to look up at him, “Except...there is this one thing…”
“Anything m’lady, anything,” he said in his horribly charming british accent
This time, you were the one breaking the eye contact as you rested your cheek back against his chest, his heart jumping out of his rib cage against your ear. “I promised myself a while ago I’d only ever have sex with guys that really, truly loved me...I guess drunk Y/N forgot about that.”
At this, he brought the hand that had been drawing lazy patterns in your side up to your face, his fingers nudging your chin up to look at him, “I don’t think drunk, or sober, Y/N has anything to worry about on that front. I mean, you heard the six years story, right?”
“I want you to say it.”
He bit his lip slightly, trying to keep his face from breaking out into the goofiest grin imaginable, “Y/N, I am hopelessly, completely, disgustingly in love with you.”
A grin rivaling the one staring back at you, you rested your head back into place on your chest and said “That’ll do”
He scoffed and jabbed you in the sides, causing you to let out the laugh you’d been holding in. “Say it back you jerk! You set me up!”
When he had stopped jabbing you and your laughter died down so you could speak again you looked at him and said breathlessly, “JJ Maybank, I am hopelessly, completely, disgustingly in love with you.”
He smiled back at you and pulled you closer, “Yeah that’s what I thought you ungrateful little brat. A confession of young love AND two orgasms later and all I got was ‘That’ll do’...bull fucking shit.”
“Oh quit your whining, I was only joking...I promise I’ll make it up to you”
You heard his heart skip a beat, “When, right now? Now sounds good to me does it sound good to you?”
“Shhhhhh I’m sleeping”
You heard him let out one last chuckle, you felt him place one last kiss on the crown of your head, and finally you were out, feeling happier than ever before.
Fin.
#jj maybank#jj maybank x reader#outer banks#obx#jj maybank fanfiction#outerbanks fanfiction#jj x reader#rafemaybank wrote this
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Reap What You Sow
Finally finished Mass Effect Legendary Edition and gearing up for a second run. Before that, though, i wanted to stop and reflect on how well this game holds up, how ell this story is told. I’ve been playing these games since Mass Effect 2 was released on the PS3 over a decade ago and i haven’t regretted even a second of that time spent. I love these games. I loved these titles. And Legendary gave me an opportunity to experience the entire narrative, on one system, with a gorgeous face lift This makes me want Bioware to take another shot at Andromeda because, holy sh*t, can they deliver when they’re not hindered by corporate bullsh*t and it looks like EA is starting to accept that as fact and policy, rather than just the gripes of fans. I love these games and before i get back to it, i wanted to highlight my favorite companions because Mass Effect is nothing without those who run headfirst into the fire with you.
Urdnot Wrex
I hate the first Mass Effect but that’s because i’m a Sony shill so i started wit the best one of the franchise and had to double back. It was a poor experience by comparison but Wrex was f*cking delight. I loved this dude but his time on the throne in 2 and his limited time with the squad in 3 is what that sealed it for me. Uncle Urdnot is a goddamn joy to play with and even more hilarious as an NPC. If you romance Liara, definitely talk to him during the Cure the Genophage mission in 3. You wont regret it.
Aria T’Loak
I’ve been a fan of Aria since the first time she introduced herself in Afterlife. “Don’t f*ck with Aria.” Yeah, she definitely made an impression. Mostly an NPC in the second game, she really came into her in the third. The extended time we spent with her in the Omega DLC was exceptional. I loved that side of her we got to see and, if you play Paragon, you get to see an interesting evolution in her character. Not as dope as getting that awkward kiss at the end but still just as rewarding.
Javik
Good ol’ Prothy the Prothean. I don’t really bring him on missions in 3 but i make sure to check in after every major battle because dude is a f*cking fountain of snark. I do, however, make sure to take him on the Thessia mission because the banter he and Liara have n that temple is very compelling. Their dynamic is one of the highlights in Mass Effect 3 and i absolutely adore that sh*t. It never gets old and it never disappoints. I’ve played this game dozens of times over the years and i have never once deviated from these two, on that mission, since the first time i took them into that battle together. Plus, Javik in the Citadel is a whole ass delight. Make sure to check your bathroom when you wake up the next day. There’s a surprised in there for you!
EDI
EDI is a ray of sunshine in such ire circumstances. Long before she got Eva’s body, EDI was a full member of the Normandy crew. Her banter after becoming unshackled was brilliant in 2 and even more dynamic in 3. Seeing her becoming more and more “alive, over the course of that last title, was a real pleasure and i hated seeing her name on that board at the end. I almost always pick Destruction because that’s the only one where Shepard survives but it’s always a struggle. Me or EDI? My life or Hers? I hate having to make that choice but the time spent with her until that point, is always so much fun.
Urdnot Grunt
Grunt is MY Wrex. He’s the Krogan i was introduced to first and he’s definitely be the one i have the most love toward. I basically raised this dude in-game during 2 and seeing him finally come into his own in 3, is a big moment for those who are as invested in this series as i am. Not only is he an absolute unit on my squad, but the kid is hilarious. Some of the best banter in 3 comes from Grunt and it makes me wish i got to play with him more. Similar to Jack who is definitely going to make an appearance later down this list, you only get fleeting time with him but that time spent hunting Rachni is one of the funniest missions in all of Mass Effect 3.
Miranda Lawson
My darling Cerberus Cheerleader Princess. Miranda is never my first choice on a mission and was, like, my last romance option originally but, upon running threw these titles a decade later, she’s a lot stronger a character than i remember. Seriously, the growth she shows throughout Mass Effect 2 is real and is presented with a proper focus in her driven resolve during her solo mission in 3. Miranda Lawson is one of the most complete, best written characters in the entire franchise and I'm frustrated with myself that it took a whole ass decade to finally see that. Plus, i mean, she got a fat ass, too, so...
Mordin Solus
Listen, I'm going to keep this one short and sweet. Mordin is amazing and if you didn’t feel something when he did what he did in 3, f*ck you.
Kasumi Goto
Oh, Ms. Goto, i do enjoy you so very, very, much. Kasumi is like the mascot of my squad, the ship cat who keeps knocking sh*t of the table. She is an absolute disaster but i still love her anyway. She has some of the best lines in the entire franchise and i dearly missed her snark on my ship in 3. Tat lone mission with the Hanar was not enough time with the galaxy’s best thief but it had to be because Kasumi is nobody’s fool. She was like, “No galactic war with eldritch space horrors for me, sir.” but she made up for it in the Citadel DLC.
Liara T’Soni
Now we’re getting into the meat. Liara is a mainstay in my squad during Mass Effect 3. She is dub overpowered, especially with that Singularity, and i rarely go into a boss fight without it. Beyond her fighting abilities, Liara just has such a sweet relationship with Shepard that spans the entire trilogy. She opted not to be an official part of the team in 2, later taking up the mantle of the Shadow Broker, but more than makes up for that in 3. Liara is a principal character in Mass Effect 3 and her relationship with Shepard in that game, specifically, is fantastic to experience. If you romance her, it’s even more rewarding.
Garrus Vakarian
Garrus is one third of my Death Lineup. He and Tali stay in my squad in 2 and alternate with Liara in 3. Dude is, for lack of a better term, a straight up killer. I’ve only played mShep so i never actually romances Garrus but dude is easily one of the best companions in the entire game. The relation he has with Shepard and the way it develops over those three games, is only topped by one other character and she’s the premier on this list. Garrus is hilarious and a real force in the game but, more than that, he’s arguably Shepards’ best friend and a solid foundation they can rely on as dude shapes the history of an entire galaxy.
Jack
Oh, my darling Jacqueline Night. You were SO close to the top spot on this list and only missed it because you were introduced in the second game. That’s it. Jack is dope, one of the most complete characters in the entire franchise, and definitely a great romance option. I adore this chick for all of the reasons but mostly because of how realized she becomes by the end of 3. Her growth from “Psychotic Biotic” into maternal teacher for a bunch of biotic kids, was a turn i didn’t expect but loved to see. I love Mass Effect 2′s version of Jack, for sure, but her appearance in Mass Effect 3 is head-and-shoulders better than her initial introduction. It hurts we never got to actually got to play with her in an actual fight but her appearances were still outstanding.
Tali’Zorah vas Normandy
Tali is the best f*cking thing about this franchise and I'll fight you to the death over it. Listen, Tali, for me, is best girl, best character, best development, best everything! I adore Tali. She made that first game bearable but really came into her own in the second. By the third, she was the premier supporting character in the entire franchise for me. Literally her and Garrus stay in my party and for good reason. Tali’s romance is so goddamn saccharine that it gave me diabetes but her maturation as that narrative continues is exceptionally written. Being one of two squad mates who has ridden with Shep through the entire trilogy really gives Tali room to grow and it shows. She is the best companion in the game and i almost never leave her behind.
Look, all of the squadmates hold a special place in my heart but these twelve, specifically, always seem to find their way into my onsite shenanigans more often than not. Obviously, just because you didn’t make this list, doesn’t mean you didn’t have your moments and Aria being on here instead of, say, Thane, is not a knock against him at all. Aria was just hilarious and i enjoyed what little time we shared. Everyone on the Normandy is dope and i cannot wait until my next mission to save the galaxy from the Reapers with them. Not Kaidan, though. Never Kaidan. F*ck that guy, specifically.
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Hi I know it’s been a bit but I’m the confused bi anon. I really really appreciated your response and it wasn’t too long. You made me feel a lot better. I was wondering if you could maybe suggest some books, tv, movies with bi female characters. Thanks soo much for the entire last response . You are absolutely incredible and so sweet. This means more to me than you could ever know❤️
of course!! i’m glad that my first response helped <3
disclaimer of course: i’m not bi! so i’m not an Authoritative Source on bi rep and what people want to see more of. i do actively seek out stuff about lgbtq+ characters, specifically girls and women, so i have some recs! however, i’ll also be adding some things that some bi folks i know have recommended because while lesbians and bi women have a lot in common, these are at the end of the day representing them, not me :)
extra-super favorites will be bolded! i’m putting this under a read more because... i read a lot of books. and recommended a lot of them.
books:
her royal highness by rachel hawkins-- this book is a pretty easy read-- don’t expect any massive revelations about life from it, and you’ll have a good time!!! essentially, a bi texan girl named millie, after having her heart broken by her friend-turned-sort-of-gf, goes to boarding school in scotland and ends up rooming with the princess, flora. if this sounds outrageous and sappy, that’s because it is! and i love it! sexuality isn’t a BIG part of this book, but it’s discussed, and it’s just a generally fun enemies-to-lovers story about a bi aspiring geologist and a no-fucks-to-give lesbian princess and them falling in love!
fried green tomatoes at the whistle stop cafe by fannie flagg-- hello this is actually my favorite book! unlike hrh it is... a LOT to read. it essentially follows 2 stories-- one about a housewife named evelyn and her friendship with an old woman named ninny threadgoode who she meets at the old folks home her mother-in-law stays at, and the other about the stories ninny tells her about her sister-in-law idgie and her partner, ruth. the book was published in 1987, and ruth and idgie’s story is set during the great depression, so they aren’t actively labeled as lesbian or bi, but it’s made obvious enough through coding and the fact that ruth has relationships with men prior to idgie while idgie spends her entire childhood pining after ruth. both storylines are fantastic-- they have a lot to say about the lives of southern women in the 30s and 80s, and about race relations at both periods. i’ll warn you that there are depictions of extreme racism and of abuse, but it handles both delicately. it’s a critical piece of southern literature, and a landmark for lgbtq+ storytelling. as a bonus, my copy has a bunch of great recipes in the back, so if you read it you might chance upon an edition with those in it. if you like poignant period pieces about wlw relationships, women losing their damn minds, and abusive men getting what they deserve, this is the book for you! you will sob. this is a fair warning.
you should see me in a crown by leah johnson-- i haven’t personally read this one, but i’ve heard great things about it from everyone i know who has! an anxious black bi girl in indiana has to win prom queen at her mostly-white school in order to get enough scholarship money to go to the college of her dreams, but ends up falling for mack, another girl running for queen.
@landlessbud wanted me to shout out red, white, and royal blue by casey mcquinston-- you’ve almost definitely heard about it before (first son and prince of wales, enemies-to-lovers with a side dish of political drama), and it is primarily about a mlm romance, but nora is a fabulously fun bi girl side character and there’s a lot of great stuff about figuring out your sexuality in it.
leah on the offbeat by becky albertalli-- i’ve read a lot of complex thoughts on this book, and mine are... i like it! it’s flawed, sure, and i wish it had handled a few things a little better, but you know what? it’s cute as fuck! leah is a fat bi drummer, and she’s super cool! abby is a great love interest, and she goes through a whole bi realization throughout the book. all in all, it’s just a fun wlw high school romcom with a couple solid dramatic beats and a lot of goofball shenanigans. also, if you were an american girl kid??? one scene in this book will make the entire experience worth it for you.
harley quinn: breaking glass by mariko tamaki and steve pugh-- hey, we’re in graphic novel territory now! this book is RAD. a really neat look at gentrification, community solidarity, giving people what they deserve, and fantastic lgbtq+ found families. teenage harleen quinzel is taken in by a group of drag queens, and is caught between two sort-of love interests-- mysterious vigilante the joker and classmate and community activist ivy-- and the different forms of protest and resistance they represent. the art here is STUNNING, and it’s a great read!
laura dean keeps breaking up with me, by the great mariko tamaki with art by rosemary valero-o’connell-- the vast majority of the characters are lgbt, with a lesbian main character, and the supporting cast including a bi nonbinary character, a bi girl character, and two mlm characters! this is mostly a piece about modern lgbtq+ teenagers and the way toxic relationships take over our lives. it’s one of the most cathartic things i’ve read in a LONG time, and especially if you’re at a point where your sexuality feels kind of vague, this is a great read because it embraces that vagueness by not needing to clearly label the characters and celebrates whatever point of clarity the characters are at. probably some of the most gorgeous art i’ve ever seen in a book, with a beautiful black-white-and-pink color scheme and a really neat approach to visual storytelling.
movies:
i don’t watch many movies, because i get bored really quickly hskdhskhds. but the movies i DO watch are usually gay!
wowie zowie its fried green tomatoes again!-- fannie flagg came back to adapt this into a film and HOT DAMN is it just as good. the plot is primarily the same, with some stuff obviously cut or trimmed to make it a two hour movie instead of a 450 page books fhsjdhsjhds. mary-louise parker plays ruth!!! it got a GLAAD award and an oscar nomination, and god it’s good. there are a couple scenes in here that i think are going to be in my mind until the day i die. the level of pure butch energy that idgie radiates in this film is a one-hit k.o. and it KILLS me.
birds of prey-- listen. this is not a profound movie. harley’s bisexuality isn’t emphasized, and romance is basically nonexistent in this movie. there is some... quite graphic violence. that said, this movie is so fucking fun. it’s mostly just a bunch of women fucking up everyone who crosses them while margot robbie gives a gleeful performance that you can just TELL she enjoyed the fuck out of. the last 20-30 minutes of this movie are the absolute best part, with a long sequence that kind of reinvented what an action/superhero movie could be for me. again, bisexuality isn’t a massive part of this-- it’s mentioned, and then harley just continues on in her gloriously campy outfits and breaks peoples’ knees. again, i CANNOT overemphasize just how fucking good the last 20-30 minutes are. this movie knows what it is and it embraces it. also, women beating people up in costumes that don’t horrifyingly objectify them is always a plus!
imagine me & you-- i’d be remiss if i didn’t mention this one, considering it’s probably one of the most iconic wlw romcoms. a woman named rachel, while at her own wedding, meets a florist named luce, and they fall in love. it’s a very sweet look at questioning your sexuality when you were already secure in it, and rachel’s husband wins “most genuinely understanding guy in a wlw movie” award. it has a lovely happy ending, and articles have been written about the importance of rachel being a bi character who a) gets a happy ending and b) isn’t shamed for figuring out her sexuality later on or slutshamed. this is just... a sweet movie. it’s the romcom a lot of us need in our lives. also, a LOT of floral imagery.
tv shows:
ok, i’ve got a confession. i reaaaaaaally don’t watch much tv. seriously, the only shows i’ve watched a substantial amount of recently have been parks and rec, schitt’s creek, the good place, and gilmore girls. i have a really REALLY short attention span.
that said, eleanor from the good place is bisexual!! the good place is a really wild ride, it’s half afterlife comedy half philosophical musing, and it will almost certainly make you gasp, laugh, think, and also probably cry. also, eleanor is just buckets of fun and she, like many of us, is often blown away by tahani (jameela jamil) and her beauty.
ummm shows i haven’t watched entirely or at all but that have bi women in them and seem pretty good: black lightning, sex education, jane the virgin, arrow.
if you haven’t already watched it, do not believe what people are going to tell you about watching glee. it will drag you into a pit of despair and white men rapping, and it’s quite biphobic to top it all off.
i hope you enjoy at least some of these!! i tried to include some of my own favs and some that were pointed out to me, so i hope that at least a couple connect with you and make you feel better. again, the bolded ones are my 100% favorites. i love you and i’m glad you reached out again!!! feel free to send some more asks later on <3
#asks#anon#bi anon#ily <3 <3 i hope these help#if anyone wants to add please do!! specifically bi women of color since theres a shortage of them in fiction and media#dont talk abt b/9/9 though id like to not praise diversity in a show glorifying cops
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Sweetlips and Innocent kisses (Kai Anderson x Chubby! Reader.)
Plot- You are part of Kai’s cult, and you (obviously) like him. After your first kill, you got cold feet and decided you didn't want to kill anyone. Kai didn’t want you to go so he got you to “work behind the scenes” setting everything up, fixing costumes etc.
The gang questioned your faith towards Kai, began calling you names and generally being horrible. You run off crying, and Kai stays behind yelling at everyone, going as far as killing one of them to send a message. He goes to your room and sits on your bed. He gives you lots of cuddles and kisses. Reassuring you that you are beautiful. (Which you all are)
TW- Name-calling, lots of swearing (I mean, it’s Kai), Violence, Murder. (Again. it’s Kai we are talking about here.) and Self-esteem issues.
This is also my first ever x Chubby! reader. So apologies if it isn’t the best.
It came rather suddenly, being asked to join a cult isn’t something one would expect in their day to day lives. Sadly you happened to be friends with someone who was part of a cult, well friends is a loose term, more like ‘acquaintances’. But there you were, sat in front of a blue-haired male that you now know as Kai Anderson. The handsome male you had gained a crush on over the months. The male who asked you the most embarrassing questions.
When you first met Kai you were intimidated, not just by his beauty but by the powerful aura he always emits. But now, you were in awe of him; his power, his beauty. His everything.
After your first kill, you realised that you weren’t cut out for it. You had managed to talk to Kai about it, telling him that you wanted to stay with the cult but you couldn’t kill. You were expecting your instant demise, maybe even a lecture. But Kai just smiled at you and nodded his head.
“I thought as much, how about this, you set the scenes for us, fix our costumes, clean out the blood, sharpen and buy our weapons. and in return, you don’t have to kill anyone.” That was the first and last time Kai had ever managed to surprise you.
---
Kai kept to his word as well, he let you do all of the ‘backstage’ work and he never forced you to kill anyone. You were forever grateful towards the man and never once questioned his decisions or judgements.
It was because of this that you slowly started becoming his favourite. He kept a close eye on you during meetings and while you were handling their weapons, his excuse being that ‘he had to make sure you weren’t tampering with them.’ Which wasn’t necessarily a lie.
Right now everyone, including Kai and yourself were in the meeting room discussing the latest target. You were sat slightly out of the way since the briefing wasn’t for you, but you still had to be present. So as a pastime you decide to just absentmindedly think about Kai and about how perfect he is, and how perfect you... weren’t. You sigh silently and look down at your stomach in annoyance. Why couldn’t you look like Ivy, nice and slim but still gorgeously curvy? Ivy may not be the nicest of people but good god you’d kill to be her... Well maybe not kill.
“Why is Y/N here anyways? she doesn’t even come with us! what is the point of her being here? She’s probably betraying us and feeding all of this info to the cops. stupid bitch. Honestly Kai why don’t you just kill her? She doesn’t do anything for us. She’s just a massive nuisance to us.” You heard one of them say, it wasn’t unusual for this to happen and you never normally let it get to you, but today for some reason you were feeling particularly sensitive.
So with glassy eyes, you heave yourself out of your chair and ran out of the room to one of the spare bedrooms Kai had set up for the people who sometimes have to stay.
~~~Back with Kai.~~~
Kai stared at the empty seat angrily, how dare they call his queen a bitch. How dare they imply that she is betraying them. She would never do that to them, to him, and he knows that.
“Okay, now that that fat bitch is gone we can talk business.” another one of them says. Kai snaps. Badly. He storms over to that person and grips their throat, slamming them into a wall.
“How dare you. How fucking DARE you, you self-absorbed slut. Y/N is far from fat. and she is no bitch. Trust me on that. I should fucking kill you where you stand for calling her those nasty- horrendous things. In fact, maybe I will.” Kai mutters with a sinister grin on his face.
He throughs the girl onto her knees on the floor. She grasps her throat, taking in deep breaths due to Kai tight hold. She looks up at the insane man with a pained look in her eyes. “I’m sorry Kai, I did--”
Kai cuts her off by shoving her down completely to the floor with his foot. “Let this be a lesson to all of you. If any of you. I mean any of you hurt MY girl in any way you will have me to answer to. Do you understand me?” Everyone is stood frozen in fear. Shocked by his outburst and too scared to speak.
Kai looks at them all, red-faced with fury. Slamming his foot into the girls back causing a sickening crack and a scream. “I SAID. DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND ME YOU BUNCH OF PATHETIC WORTHLESS CUNTS” The cult takes a step away from the scene in front of them, all muttering a yes, with their head hung low.
The girl on the floor coughs up some blood as she looks at the cult with pure fear. “Now I know how much you all cared for this one,” Kai smirked, gesturing to the girl under his foot. “So as a punishment. You guys will all hurt her. Badly.”
He takes his foot off of the girl and hands them a weapon. “Now.” They all stood in their place. Not doing anything.
“I said, now.” Kai raised his voice sternly. They all went up to the girl and began to beat her to death. With a satisfied grin, Kai leaves the room to the sounds of the girls' screams.
-----Back with Y/N------
You could hear the unfortunate screams of one of the cult members down the hall but you paid no mind to that. All you could think about were the nasty words that have been thrown at you when Kai wasn’t around.
You kept yourself curled up under the covers, tears streaming down your face. How could anyone ever love you? Especially Kai...
The door of the room opened, You assumed it was another cult member there to kill you while Kai busied himself with the screaming female.
The empty space dipped next to you as the person sat back against the headboard. You curled up tighter to comfort yourself as the covers flew off of your head to reveal, Kai?
You went to sit up and wipe your face but Kai gripped your wrist and lowers you back into a lying position. You looked up at the man confused and slightly frightened. “U-um Kai..?” he smiles down at you sweetly, something you’ve never seen before.
Kai lies down next to you and pulls you against him. One of his arms was wrapped around you and rubbing your stomach affectionately.
“How long has this been going on for?” He asked, lying on his side to face you. The look in his eyes being stern but worried. You sighed knowing there was no use lying to him.
“about 3 months now. I’ve been able to ignore it. But... I dunno, today it really hurt me... I heard her call me fat before I got to my room and I just broke down...” You explained, trying to hold back your tears, you didn’t want to seem weak in front of Kai.
“I should’ve fucking killed all of them...” He muttered darkly causing you to turn and face him in shock.
“K-Kai what is that supposed to mean?” He pulls you closer to him, one hand holding your head to his chest and the other wrapped around your waist. He began to run his hands through your hair as he explains.
“The girl who called you fat. Yeah, I broke her back. As punishment for the others, I told them that they had to kill her by beating her to death.” Kai shrugged nonchalantly, wrapping one of his legs over yours in an attempt to be even closer to you.
“K-kai- why did you do that, she was one of the strongest cul-” Kai cut you off by lightly tapping the top of your head with his hand. He grabs your chin and lifts your head up so you are looking him in the eye.
“I did it because she hurt you, she made you hate yourself more than you already do. And don’t try telling me otherwise. I know that look that you give yourself when you look in the mirror when you look at the ground. The way you look at Ivy with jealousy.” He cups your face with both of his hands and rolls on top of you.
“You are gorgeous Y/N, inside and out, you are the most beautiful one here because of your heart, I can sense your purity and my god, I want to take it away from you, but I won’t because that’s what makes you you and that is what I love about you. So don’t let anyone tell you that you aren’t anything more than amazing.”
He caresses your cheek and leans down pressing a soft kiss to your cheek, trailing them down to your neck. Once he gets nearer to your shoulders he pulls your shirt up to just below your bra and kisses your stomach. “Is this what you are really fussing over? If so please stop because your little belly is so cute and it just makes me love you more because it makes you more you.”
He grips your waist and pulls you down the bed so you're at face height with him. “You honestly have no idea what you do to me. Your innocence attracts me to you more and more.” with every other word he presses a kiss from your cheek closer and closer to your lips until he is finally hovering above them. Looking into your eyes with more affection than you’d think is possible.
“I have wanted to do this for so long... So don’t let me wait any longer. Let me kiss you.” He mutters, rubbing your lip with his index finger while his eyes flitted between your own and your lips.
“I-I Kai...” You whisper, looking from his eyes to his lips also. The lips that you have been dying to feel for months now. You bite your lip and nod your head in approval. “Please kiss me...”
He grinned widely like a child in a candy store and pressed his lips against yours with urgency. The kiss was innocent and new to both parties. Kai was only used to those lustful sex kisses whereas you had never kissed anyone before.
Your lips rubbed against one another as you wrapped your arms around Kai’s neck, resting your hands in your hair. Kai pulled your waist flush up against his body as he kissed you deeply but still trying to keep it innocent.
The innocence of the kiss had managed to turn Kai on majorly but he didn’t want to take you or at least, not yet. So to stop things from going any further he pulled himself from the kiss and stared at you panting.
“I don’t mean for this to come out in a cocky or bad way at all, I have kissed many people but your kisses by far are my favourite- I could easily get hooked to those sweet lips and innocent kisses of yours. In fact, I might need another.” he winks pressing a quick kiss back on your lips again. Causing you to flush.
“You’d kiss anyone though so how was that meant to help?”
“I stopped. If I only wanted you for sex I would’ve kept going. But I want you. Not for sex I just want you. Look I’m not a sentimental or soppy type so I’m only doing this once, got it? I want you I want to be able to wake up in the morning with you in my arms, I want to be able to be with you all the time. I need you. I use people for sex so I get that you are concerned. But I would never do that to you. You are like a drug to me. Something I keep coming back to because I’m too addicted. Fuck Y/N I’m intoxicated by your presence. So let me keep my high and stay with me?”
Your face turns a bright red colour as the man on top of you basically confessed his love to you. “D-Does that mean what I think it means...?” You asked cautiously just to make sure.
“Fucking yes Y/N I’m in love with you okay!? I have been since we first joined pinkies when you went bright red through my questioning. Your reactions have fucked with me Y/N.” You gasp at his blunt response. But notice his cheeks going slightly pink.
“I-I love you too Kai.” You cuddled into the male with a small smile on your face. He loves you. He actually loves you.
“You should probably get some sleep love, you’ve had a busy day.” He mutters into your ear quietly, kissing your neck softly so you know that you'll be safe with him. “and don’t worry, I’ll stay here with you the whole time.” He smiles to himself and looks at you.
God, he loved you so much, and he’ll make sure that you will always know that.
#american horror story#ahs#ahs x reader#ahs cult#American horror story cult#kai anderson#kai anderson x reader#american horror story x reader#fluffy#fluff#x reader#x chubby reader#evan peters#oneshots#oneshot#fluff oneshot#cute#cute oneshot#ahs oneshot
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My 15 favorite theater experiences of 2019
In no particular order:
1. Choir Boy (Samuel Friedman Theatre, New York, NY): I say in no particular order, but if you know anything about me, you know that Choir Boy is my number-one show of the year. I saw it four times on Broadway and twice in Boston. Tarell Alvin McCraney’s writing is so beautiful, human, and fearless. He puts works of art on stages, television, and film that nobody else does. Jeremy Pope’s performance as Pharus is easily in the top three greatest performances I’ve seen on a Broadway stage. If your local regional theater is doing this show, I cannot encourage you enough to go and see it.
2. What the Constitution Means to Me (Helen Hayes Theater, New York, NY): This show was unlike any other play I’ve seen before. Heidi Schreck, who wrote and starred in WTCMTM, wrote a deeply human, poignant, and timely play about a document written by a bunch of rich, white men a few centuries ago and made it gripping, engaging, and relevant. It’s a show I believe every American should see. As an added bonus, Heidi is genuinely one of the kindest people I’ve met.
3. The Wrong Man (MCC Theater, New York, NY): I saw The Wrong Man for the first time three weeks before it closed, and I immediately fell in love with it and went back several more times in those three weeks. The Wrong Man is only ninety minutes long and has only three main characters, but it presents an engaging story about forgiveness, mercy, justice, guilt, and innocence. Ross Golan, the composer/lyricist, began performing The Wrong Man as a concept album thirteen years ago and turned it into a full musical. The score is beautiful and has some really great bops, and the choreography is probably the best I’ve ever seen.
4. Waitress with Sara Bareilles and Gavin Creel (Brooks Atkinson Theatre, New York, NY): I’m personally not the biggest fan of Waitress, but this was one of the most fun nights I had in a theater this year. Sara and Gavin had amazing chemistry, and I have never laughed so much at Waitress before.
5. A Strange Loop (Playwrights Horizons, New York, NY): A Strange Loop is unlike any show I’ve ever seen before. It’s unlike anything anyone has seen before. How many shows center around a fat, black, queer character? I can’t think of any. Michael R. Jackson, the book writer/composer/lyricist, has an incredible ability to write satire that has you laughing at the same time you’re being punched in the face emotionally. A Strange Loop grapples with the intersections of racism, homophobia, and fatphobia. It’s meta at the same time it’s grounded, and gets more and more intense as the show progresses. I walked out of the theater in a daze after I saw it. My fingers are crossed it comes to Broadway.
5. Mean Girls, Taylor Louderman’s last show (August Wilson Theatre, New York, NY): Going to Mean Girls is a routine thing for me, and I’ve seen the show dozens of times, but every once in awhile something special happens that reignites my love for this show. Taylor’s last show was obviously incredibly sad for me, the cast, and everyone who loves this show, but I also laughed more and harder on this evening than I have in a very long time at Mean Girls. Everyone, especially Taylor, was giving this performance their all, and I’ll never forget it.
6. The Secret Life of Bees (Atlantic Theater Company, New York, NY): I had suspicions I was really going to love this show before I saw it, but I absolutely fell in love with it. The music is gorgeous (thank you, Duncan Sheik), the performances are stellar, and the story, though set decades ago, is as timely and relevant as ever. I do cry at shows pretty often, but rarely do I tear up because of how overwhelmingly beautiful a show is—but I did that at Secret Life of Bees. I’m still impatiently waiting on that Broadway transfer announcement.
7. Beetlejuice (Winter Garden Theatre, New York, NY): Despite all its flaws, I love this crazy, loud, obnoxious, wild show so much. I had seen it in DC and counted down the days until first preview on Broadway. I rushed first preview and ended up with front-row tickets, and I had one of the most fun nights in a theater I’ve ever had. The performances really make the show, and I’ve been very vocal about how I strongly believe Leslie Kritzer was snubbed by the Tonys. Beetlejuice also has my favorite scenic design for any show. I also have a uniquely personal connection to this showL Beetlejuice used to have a joke in the show I felt was offensive, so I reached out to Eddie Perfect and Alex Timbers and explained to them why I was hurt by it, and they actually listened to my feedback and removed the joke. I’m hoping Beetlejuice can find another home after June, because I’m not ready to say goodbye yet.
8. Next to Normal (Ground Floor Theatre/Deaf Austin Theatre, Austin, TX): For years I had been wanting an ASL production of Next to Normal with Sandra Mae Frank as Natalie, so when it actually happened I knew I had to fly to Texas to see it. I don’t think I’ve ever cried more at a show. Sandy made me look at Natalie in a whole new way, and the ASL interpretations of the lyrics added so many new layers to the show. Megg Rose, the Deaf actor who played Diana, gave one of the best performances I’ve seen, and I want her to be on Broadway immediately. This production really was a dream come true for me.
9. Six (Chicago Shakespeare Theater, Chicago, IL): We drove to Chicago from NYC to see Six, and it was definitely worth it. I was in the front row for the first time I saw it, which was a terrifying but incredibly fun experience. This cast is so incredibly talented, and the show is so much fun, and being there with almost all of my closest friends was such a memorable experience. I’m so excited to see it again when it comes to Broadway.
10. Little Shop of Horrors (Westside Theatre, New York, NY): This was my first experience seeing LSOH, and I had an absolute blast. The performances were incredible, with Christian Borle being just off-the-wall crazy. I haven’t laughed that much at a show in awhile. The Audrey II puppets are fantastic, and what they’ve done with the scenic design in such a small space is amazing. I’m excited to see it again with Gideon Glick.
11. Indecent (Huntington Theatre Company, Boston, MA): Indecent is and always will be my favorite play, and I’m so incredibly grateful I got to see it again in Boston. Huntington recreated the Broadway production with many of the original cast members, and it was such a special show. I never thought I’d see that production again live, and Huntington gave me such an incredible gift with this play.
12. Freestyle Love Supreme (Booth Theatre, New York, NY): FLS is just fun from start to finish. It’s completely improvised with special unannounced guests every night, so it’s different every time you see it. I loved seeing how they made the show more inclusive between Off-Broadway and Broadway (by asking people their pronouns, for example), and I have a blast every time.
13. Ain’t Too Proud - The Life and Times of the Temptations (Imperial Theatre, New York, NY): I saw Ain’t Too Proud mostly for Jeremy Pope, and I was so pleasantly surprised by how much I genuinely loved the show. Derrick Baskin is one of the most hardworking performers on Broadway—he literally does not leave the stage. The choreography is so much fun, and each person in the cast is so incredibly talented. It’s also one of the most pleasant stage doors I’ve ever experienced; everyone at the stage door just really genuinely wants to congratulate and thank the performers, and the actors are so kind.
14. Teeth (National Alliance for Musical Theatre Festival, New York, NY): It’s wild even to me that I’m putting a staged partial reading on this list, but that’s how good Teeth was. I spent the entire time laughing, and the songs are constantly stuck in my head. Everyone at the festival was talking about how much they loved the show, so I’m hopeful there will be a full production of it sometime soon.
15. Slave Play (John Golden Theatre, New York, NY): It’s hard to talk about Slave Play because it transcends descriptors like “good” or “bad.” Slave Play is important. It’s complex. It’s necessarily provocative. And it’s shaken up Broadway like no show has in recent memory. It’s a show I think every American adult should see. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since I saw it. It only runs for a couple more weeks, and if you haven’t seen it, you need to.
#this was hard because i have no concept of time and can't remember anything that happened before may#long post#i'm gwen and i approve this message
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Orphan - 2
Starring: Fem!Reader and MCU characters! Contents: Spoilers for Endgame!! Takes place after the Attack on New York and The Snappening and deals with both. Angst, confusion, loneliness, sadness, loss, a twinge of humour maybe, clarifications, more mystery.
2. Back to the Roots
You’ve managed to get a bed in a hostel, probably paying overprize now that the demand has risen suddenly. Rumours fly that the returned are starting to find abandoned homes in the outskirts of the city, but it’s just rumours and you don’t really feel like heading further out considering how things are looking just on Manhattan. Derelict. New York City has been a ghost town, and even now as the ghosts have taken physical form it’s going to take a lot of work to set things right.
Your mind is far from the worries of what’s to come.
Lying on your stomach on the squeaky bed, a fat stack of papers rests before you together with a very fancy cell phone (accompanied by charger and ear plugs). There’s a recording on that which you haven’t dared watch yet, favouring the documents instead…and those you’ve read and re-read so many times you can almost recite the contents by heart.
“Fuck me…” you sigh as you bury the face in the musty pillow.
“Now now,” Gloria tuts sweetly, “chin up baby girl, it’s gonna work out just fiiine, ya wait ‘n see.”
Gloria is another returned. Originally from Harlem, she’d been surprised to find the rest of the family had moved to New Orleans sometime during the five years. Surprised but not dejected. Kindness incarnate, she has an ability to find the silver lining and she’s become the unofficial mother hen for everyone on the hostel. Soft, round, and with an understanding smile that holds just as much unruliness as her gorgeous ‘fro bobbing on the top of her head, the woman might as well have been made for caring.
Now she tiptoes over to you, sitting on the edge of the bed to give you a friendly squeeze. “Tell mama Glory what’s up, hon.”
It’s a jumbled mess of memories and explanations you present her with, and it takes a while before you’ve calmed down enough to really begin to make sense. Gloria lets you talk, holding you close and rocking you gently when the memories of your mother are too hard, and all the while the sounds from outside filter in through the half-open window, hinting at a life where people reunite and are happy.
“Okay, so ya tellin’ meh tha’ yar daddy was there all along but he ain’t got the balls t’ tell ya?” It stings to hear it put so simply. “But nooow he gone left y’a message sayin’, ‘girly come find meh I’m sorry’? Well shugs! Sounds to meh like ya owe it t’yaself more than him to go face the guy, don’tcha think so?”
“…I can’t…” The sweet woman looks at you with a puzzled look until you point at a name on one of the documents. “He died yesterday.” Leaving behind a wife and a daughter – your half-sister.
… Morgan …
Grown-ups are coming and going, all sending her tiny smiles that don’t reach the eyes before they go to mom. Mom’s sad. She cries a lot but only when she thinks Morgan doesn’t see, like last night when she should’ve been asleep but snuck out of bed to get a juice pop. Dad will know what to say…but he’s not here and mom cries even more when Morgan asks when he’ll be home, then they cuddle up with blankies and their favourite books or maybe even a movie instead of mom telling what is going on and where dad is.
Then there’s a day where mom sits Morgan down. Nose red and eyes puffy.
“There’s something I have to explain, sweetie,” mommy begins as fresh tears dangle from her pretty lashes, “about daddy…”
It doesn’t quite make sense how dad has left without going to any place. People can’t just be gone, can they? Morgan knows the story of when daddy went to space and found auntie Nebula, but this isn’t like that. At least it doesn’t feel like that.
…
The next day the house is full of people again. Most are grown-ups as usual but there are a few almost-grown-ups. Everyone talks very quietly, making Morgan nervous about being too loud or too wild…maybe it would upset mommy anyways, so it’s better to be good even if it itches in her entire tiny body to pull a prank or say something funny the way dad always does. But she doesn’t, sticking instead closely to mom or Happy while looking at the many people.
I’ve seen them on pictures. Photographs with daddy from before Morgan was born or old movie clips that she once found when playing with FRIDAY without dad knowing. A few of them came around to the house as well and it had made dad upset, she could tell. Now they’re all here, watching silently as the flowers and the metal flow out onto the lake like it belongs there instead of with mommy and Morgan and Happy.
That’s when she sees the woman standing on the other shore. Silent and alone, it looks like she’s hugging herself. I’ll hug her! But it’s far to the other side, and when Morgan finally has gotten the attention of a grown-up, Nebula, and turns to point her out then she’s gone.
… Reader …
Tears sting in your eyes and you’re not even sure why because you’d never gotten to know the man! He hauled your ass out of a damaged building, but that’s it, that’s the only fatherly thing he’s openly done for you…well that and apparently save the world from getting torn apart by some purple space-grape of a giant…and returned all of you who’d been dusted. But nothing that gave you the right to scour the internet for clues just so you could show up like some creep and watch his funeral from afar.
Wiping the face angrily, you stumble through the woods without bothering to skirt around bushes or avoid sliding on the half-rotten branches hidden beneath old leaves. It’s a pure miracle that you can see enough to notice the shining metal swinging at you and stopping an inch before your throat.
“Who are you?” There’s anger in the female voice, anger and pain.
More concerned with what appears to be a fucking sword than the speaker, you focus on standing stock still rather than answer. Wrong move. Slowly but surely, the incredibly sharp looking blade advances, driving you backwards until your back hits the trunk of a tree.
“Who are you?” the angry woman repeats, “Why did you spy?”
“I’m – I didn- it was stupid! Okay?!”
Frantic with fear you finally look up only to receive a new shock at the sight of the owner of the voice: blue skin, eyes that looks like the black emptiness of camera lenses but even that’s not the weirdest. It’s the parts that are obviously metal that gets to you. This is a dream, a nightmare. This can’t be real.
Maybe she’s used to people staring and perhaps it annoys her, or she’s hell bend on finding out the truth that she allows the metal edge to rest against your throat for a second before she pulls it away, raising it overhead with a sneer, ready to slice through your faltered excuses and throat. Oh crap. I’m gonna get killed by a Smurf.
“Nebula!” A new arm appears from behind you to grab the woman’s wrist, quickly followed by the owner who looks considerably more normal. “You can’t just go around stabbing people. We’ve been over this…”
The blue woman, who doesn’t seem overly cloud-like, shifts uneasily like a toddler who has to explain why they were doing something bad. “I was…not gonna stab her…just decapitate her.”
“Please…just le-let me go!”
It’s nothing more than a croak that escapes your lips but it’s enough to make the man turn awkwardly to face you. Shit... The face isn’t that of an unknown. You’ve seen it on photos from news outlets but more importantly from the files Tony Stark had left in the bank box for you, explain who you can trust if you ever come back and want to get a hold of him. You’re staring into the face of James Rhodes and he’s staring right back, mouth agape as he takes in your features and especially eyes.
“You’re Tony’s big girl,” he simply states.
#Orphan MCU Fanfiction#mcu fanfiction#fem!reader#reader#reader insert#endgame spoilers#post-endgame#pain#loss#the snappening#the blip#thanos is a douchy space grape#avengers#Guardians of the Galaxy#revengers#ant-man#spider-man#heartbreak#loss of parents#i'll think of better tags
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Hello! Big fan here, I just wanna ask: what are the qualities/traits of the Kalafina girls that caught you by surprise/off guard? Like, "hey, I didn't expect this from Keiko/Wakana/Hikaru". It doesn't have to be related to their singing haha but for me, I was genuinely caught off guard by how beautiful Hikaru's falcetto is, and I still think it's the most beautiful falcetto I've ever heard. I always look forward to when they're performing oblivious because of this, but I want 2 know what u think
*waves* Hello!!!
Forgive me for taking SO LONG to reply to your ask. This has gotten a little lost in my draft section and now I am finally working through all those abandoned posts. Sorry!! m(._.)m
First of all, OMG, YES, Hikaru’s falsetto is absolutely gorgeous!!! The later “oblivious” performances have all been amazing, I am so glad I got to hear Hikaru’s falsetto live at the 10th Anniversary concert. She slays those Hanae parts and I am just super happy for her because she is no longer reduced to having to lip-sync her way through this song.
As for my thoughts…It’s actually surprisingly hard for me to put my love for Kalafina into words (/。\) But I shall try my best!
Since we are already talking about Hikaru, let’s start with her.
~Qualities/traits that surprised me~ Hikaru Edition: First of all I really love her stubborness. At first glance you wouldnt assume her to be the stubborn type but what’s that saying? Quiet waters run deep. She will not be influenced by others and when she has her mind set on something she will see things through no matter what. I am quite stubborn myself so I really appreciate that trait in others. It may be seen negatively by some people but I think it’s actually a big strength. Just looking at her tweets is so inspiring, she always has a life-lesson in store for us. I am so proud of her for taking on the challenge of becoming a solo singer all by herself. It must be so intimidating and I am sure there are lots of hurdles she has to get past. But if there is one person who can do it is Hikaru!! And then there is something I have only recently become aware of. It’s Hikaru’s love and appreciation for us fans. Again and again I am surprised by how much she thinks about us. The way she interacts with us on twitter (how she even thinks about foreign fans), the way she conducted her birthday event. The way she is taking her fans’ wishes into account while preparing for her solo live in December. I am just so incredibly grateful to her. And honestly, she has been like that ever since the beginning. Just look at her blog posts. Since 2009 she has been uploading posts super frequently (more so than Keiko and Wakana I think) and she has always kept us up-to-date with her travel diaries.As a singer/vocalist/performer: I was obviously thrown off by Hikaru’s fierceness because one would never expect her to have such a strong stage presence just by looking at her.
~Qualities/traits that surprised me~ Keiko Edition: I think it must be her love for and protectiveness of Wakana and Hikaru. Reading all of her interviews it seems like in the past Keiko never really cared a lot about other people, I guess you could say she was a little arrogant/self-centred. And hey, there is nothing wrong with that, especially if you are part of the entertainment industry. However, working together with Wakana and Hikaru for such a long time really changed her. She obviously cares so much about them and wants to make sure they are doing fine. It was never just about supporting them vocally, no, she always supported them in all aspects of life. Keiko was the driving force of Kalafina, she took it upon herself to “take the lead” when Wakana and Hikaru might not have felt comfortable with it. Even now you can still tell that she is a beacon of strength for Hikaru. Hikaru has tweeted a couple of times that she always feels better and more confident after she has talked with Keiko. Unfortunately we don’t see any of that being posted publicly but I am 100% certain that Keiko is also supporting Wakana in her endeavours. Aside from her protectiveness I was really surprised by her vulnerability and her determination to hide that side of herself from us. We all know she is strong, tough and super determined. Among the three members of Kalafina she is least likely to show her emotions but once in a while she will open up a little and let us know that hidden behind that stoic exterior there’s actually a very sensitive girl. Of course she will do her very best to hide it from us - she really doesn’t like showing her tears - but once in a while we are lucky to get a glimpse of her more vulnerable side. I was really surprised when I first read her solo interviews in “Kalafina Record” and “Kadokawa” because, they are so “real” and personal. It makes me cry whenever I read about Keiko’s insecurities when she started working together with Yuki Kajiura and the other singers. How she thought she couldn’t do anything and she was dragging everyone down. Keiko takes pride in being the best in what she does so for her to admit that she had so much trouble fitting in due to feeling inadequate, it’s something incredibly rare.As a singer/vocalist/performer:Well, what can I say except her deep and sultry voice? I think everyone is caught off-guard when they first hear those low notes coming out of her mouth. No one expects this cute little girl to be able to produce such a deep, dark singing voice.
~Qualities/traits that surprised me~ Wakana Edition:Wakana has always been very open about herself, what we see is what we get. So I guess there is not a lot that has surprised me throughout the years. But if I had to pick something it would probably be her strength to move forward despite hardships. Hikaru has her stubbornness and Keiko has her determiniation, they are both incredibly strong women. Next to them Wakana often comes across as frail and a little weak. She has openly admitted to be the type that easily gives up and there was a time when she seriously considered quitting Kalafina. And I do not blame her for that. Just imagine what she must have gone through! With her voice going through all these changes it must have been so rough for her. It’s obvious that Yuki Kajiura has always been most demanding of Wakana. Not to crumble beneath all that pressure takes a lot of strength and stamina, especially if you are slowly becoming aware that you might no longer be able to properly fulfull all these demands. The fandom’s disdain turning full force towards her probably didn’t make things any better. Yet, despite all of this, she kept going, she persevered. Yes, she did have Keiko and Hikaru at her side to support her but it was still Wakana who made the decision to continue. That takes a lot of strength!And these days she is even stronger and braver because she is slowly taking control of her life. She knew the consequences of staying with Space Craft but she took her chances. She cannot please everyone, she knows that and she doesn’t care. She wants to follow her dreams and right now that’s all that counts for her. I think Wakana is a people-pleaser at heart and for the longest time she has done nothing but give things to others without ever taking her own wishes and needs into account. It takes courage to change a mindset like that. Her interviews reveal the struggles she has been going through, of wanting to please her audience but also wanting to do her own thing (knowing that her old Kalafina fanbase might not appreciate it). As a singer/vocalist/performer: I guess it just always surprises me to see that a woman with such an angelic voice is actually a big-fat dork.
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Okay! Time for a slightly longer Avengers: Endgame thoughts post!
First, I do really, really like the film overall, so let’s get that out of the way right now: I had moments of wanting to cheer, tearing up, all that, and I want to see it again immediately.
Having said that...I do have Some Thoughts, which are not 100% positive.
Spoiler warnings, obviously! Only read if you’ve seen/don’t mind spoilers!
First, the AWESOME. OH MY GOD SO MUCH AWESOME.
--STEVE IS WORTHY OH HELL YES *screams in delight* And Thor’s genuine excitement about this! So perfect!
--STEVE ROGERS STANDING ON THAT BATTLEFIELD FACING DOWN THANOS’S WHOLE ARMY. This is a brilliant Steve Rogers character moment, it’s a brilliant narrative moment, it’s a gorgeous shot visually, it’s EVERYTHING -
--AND THEN EVERYONE ELSE SHOWING UP AT HIS BACK, YES YES YES, I WANTED TO CHEER AND CRY, LOOK AT THEM ALL TOGETHER AND FORMING UP BEHIND STEVE AND “AVENGERS ASSEMBLE” AND *screams more*
--Valkyrie getting to be king! She already has ideas for change! It’s a small moment but so satisfying, seeing where she is now versus her introduction in Ragnarok.
--”AMERICA’S ASS”
--actually everything about that Steve-on-Steve fight scene, Chris Evans’ delivery of every single line, the name-drop of Bucky being what worked
--I actually really love pretty much all the time hops, and Tony going with “Howard Potts” as his alias is both hilarious and heartwarming
--Morgan! Tony being a Good Dad! 3000!
--cheeseburgers, oh god my heart, this moment actually made me tear up
--Tony’s death felt well-earned, satisfying, and in-character, and that “I am Iron Man” - oh god yes, see above about in-character and also heartwarming and heartwrenching simultaneously
--Sebastian Stan continues to be very pretty
--Thor doesn’t magically get his old pirate-angel body back - I have a LOT of other less positive thoughts about this representation, which we’ll get into in a sec - the thing is, I do like this one aspect of it, because he doesn’t need to be magically “healed” of his fatness or anything like that; he’s chubby and damn heroic and still good at being a hero, and speaking as someone who always struggles with weight, that was actually really lovely
--Paul Rudd continues to be weirdly superhumanly likeable
--Gamora’s reaction to Star-Lord
--Nebula! Karen Gillan is fantastic throughout, and so central to the storyline
--Sam taking the shield! I love this - Bucky’s tired of the fight, which Steve knows; Sam has the heart and the will, and he deserves it, and Bucky’s clearly fine with that, and I’m so excited to see Sam Wilson as Cap
--just everything overall felt so fulfilling, like, yes, this is good, thank you, MCU, thank you
The Ambivalent (sure, yeah, okay)
--Clint and Nat: I actually really like Nat’s choice and sacrifice, doing it knowingly, and it also feels in-character for her as a dedicated protector; I don’t quite get why we’re pushing Clint to the forefront so much in this movie when he’s been so absent, and I dislike the implication that he somehow has more to live for because he’s got a biological family, versus Nat’s found family
--Thor’s killing of Thanos and the “I went for the head” and also the arm - yeah, look, you learned something! But also...it really just makes you *not* doing that in Infinity War seem...even dumber. But at least you learned, I guess?
--the Girl Power(tm) moment in the final battle. You know, the super-unsubtle obvious shot. Like, part of me went YES!! and another part of me cringed because WOW, that felt...not at all organic and incredibly staged
--Steve Rogers part one: I don’t actually mind that he took a side trip and saw Peggy and got some closure. It’s a nice nod to the end of First Avenger. And I love Steve getting to retire - not die - as Cap: he can still do so much as himself, maybe art or activism or support groups or all of the above, and he deserves a chance to find out who Steve Rogers is when not Captain America. Having said that, this is ambivalent because I really don’t like how it was done. More on that later.
--I love that Harley showed up at Tony’s funeral, but at first neither I nor Awesome Husband knew who the random person even was. We figured it out, but if you don’t know, it’s really unclear
--Carol. She’s wonderful and amazing in every scene she’s in, but also...weirdly...underused. Were they afraid she was too powerful?
--maybe I’m just kinda over Chris Pratt, I don’t know, but a lot of his dialogue didn’t land right for me? Clunky. Trying too hard to be funny? Maybe.
--I don’t really understand how time travel works in the MCU, but whatever, let’s just roll with it
--Loki! Fantastic to see again, also underused, but I’m very curious to see what’s next
The Not So Positive
--ALL the Thor fat jokes. This is a big one, and it pulled me out of the movie as I was watching it, as this kept happening. It’s obviously a serious manifestation of his trauma and PTSD, and yet pretty much every single character cracks a joke, and no one actually tries to support him. I’m...not a fan of that. (Side note: having just rewatched Infinity War, there’re fat jokes there too, about Quill. Do the writers/directors have an issue with fatness?)
--after Nat dies, there’s a whole lot of scenes of Rooms Full of Only Dudes, and Primarily White Dudes, at that, directing the narrative
--speaking of, how about a memorial service for Nat?
--Steve Rogers part two. (We’ll get to Steve and Bucky in the next point; this one’s about the time travel.) Like I said above, I don’t mind him wanting to take a side trip and get closure; he deserves that. And if I’m understanding MCU time travel right, he created an alternate branch, so “our” reality still all happened and everything. So. My first problem here is that we can assume he spent that alternate reality still Being A Hero - fighting evil, saving Bucky, getting into a happy triad of Steve/Peggy/Bucky if you want to imagine that - but we’re not shown any of that. We’re shown him...suddenly pining a lot for Peggy, which feels odd anyway: part of Steve’s arc has been him finding his place in this new century and his new found family. And then we’re just shown the dance. SHOW US STEVE AS A HERO IN ALL TIMELINES, PLEASE. But I digress. If this is a branching timeline, the way Steve shows back up on the bench shouldn’t work. He shouldn’t just live through all the years and wander over to the bench at the right time, because he’s not in the right timeline for that. (Maybe there’s something we’re not shown, like him tinkering with his time travel GPS? If that’s the case it needed to be much clearer.) There’s also no particular reason he needs to get or stay old (maybe he wants to experience aging, idk?) - we’ve established that we can de-age, for example, Scott. And Steve Rogers is a stubborn kid who will always want to be able to fight whatever might be coming - even if he’s still retiring as Cap, doesn’t he want another few decades with his current family - Bucky, Sam, Clint, Morgan Stark, everybody? Now he’s...much older than everyone, physically and mentally, and I guess that can still work but...it’s going to be a whole strange adjustment for him and for everyone...but anyway, the time travel as it’s shown seems to...break their own rules, and also I don’t like how suddenly emphasized his desire for Peggy is in this film, and I don’t like having to just sort of...guess about what Steve does in that timeline. (Also, side note: why is *only* Steve returning all the stones? Wouldn’t having a partner be helpful? In case things go wrong, as things so often do? AS WE’VE SEEN IN THIS VERY MOVIE.)
--STEVE AND BUCKY. This is the other big one. We all know I am a Steve/Bucky fan, but honestly I’m not even factoring that in here. It’s not about shipping. It’s about the fact that Steve’s narrative arc, Steve’s character arc, has been so entwined with Bucky up to now - and here they barely interact. The person Steve lost - the person Steve keeps losing - is Bucky. The person Steve shares memories of couch cushions and moving in together and Sarah Rogers’ name with - is Bucky. We’ve had to the end of the line, we’ve had even when I had nothing I had Bucky, we’ve had (paraphrasing here, I know it’s not an exact quote) he said Bucky’s name and suddenly I was a kid in Brooklyn again, we’ve had all of Winter Soldier and the relevant parts of Civil War, we’ve established over and over, canonically, that Steve and Bucky save each other. Bucky knows Steve even through brainwashing. Steve fights to save and protect Bucky. They love each other. (Friends love each other. It’s okay to show that.) They sacrifice for each other. And that relationship - in a film that’s meant to be a culmination, a wrapping-up, and closure for Steve Rogers - is almost entirely absent. And I’m not okay with that, emotionally and also as a narrative choice for Steve’s arc - like, as a writer (and English professor!) myself, this legitimately bothers me. I don’t feel fulfilled and I don’t feel happy about it. Especially not - as in the article I reblogged a bit ago - when we’re given other reunions, like Tony’s joy at getting “the kid!” back, with real pathos. I know the film’s already over three hours, choices have to be made, etc. But we could’ve had fewer fat jokes and a few more seconds of Steve and Bucky interacting, y’know? I just...I don’t like it. It doesn’t feel good or right.
Okay! Those are my thoughts.
Once again, I really really like the movie overall, and overall I am left happy and wanting to watch it again. That’s true. There’re just...some things.
I may or may not attempt to write my fix-it fic. There are so many already and I’m not sure what I could add that’s new, and I think I still don’t understand MCU time travel. But I also really want to deal with some of these emotions. We’ll see.
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Don’t Dream It’s Over Chapter 5
Series Summary: Liam and Ali thought that their relationship was perfect, but their whole world came crashing down when Constantine called him back to Cordonia. Four years later they meet again at Liam’s bachelor party, determined to make things between them work even if it isn’t always easy.
In this AU, Liam and MC (Ali Moonessar) dated for a year in New York while Leo was still crown prince. They broke up when Constantine asked Liam to come back to Cordonia, but they meet again at Liam’s bachelor party before the social season. The story will contain flashbacks, which will be italicized, of their relationship and follow them as they try to navigate the season with Ali as a suitor. I’ve messed around with the timeline a bit so that it fits the story better. I’ve also added in a few OCs of my own.
Pairing: Liam x MC (Ali Moonessar)
Word Count: 3,316
Taglist: @flowerpowell, @kingliam2019, @ao719, @emceesynonymroll, @hopefulmoonobject, @dcbbw, @qammh-blog, @liamxs-world, @drakesensworld, @i-only-signed-up-for-fanfiction, @timmagickfrog
If you would like to be added to the tag list let me know!
A/N: In this chapter you’ll get to learn a bit more about Ali’s family.
This is my first time ever posting a fic. Please let me know if you enjoyed it and would like to read more. I thrive on validation, lol. Thanks for reading!
TRIGGER WARNING: Nothing too serious but a few mentions of anxiety
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4
Ali pulled another dress over her head and sighed as she watched it drop onto the increasingly large clothing pile on the floor. She had been trying to figure out what to wear for the past two hours, but everything in her closet seemed to look wrong. All of her insecurities seemed to be clawing their way out today, and everything seemed to make her look frumpy or cling to her stomach too much.
“Did a tornado rip through your closet?” Emma asked, strolling into the room.
She bent over and started rifling through the pile of clothes on the floor.
“What’s wrong with this one?” she asked, holding up a short blue dress.
“It makes me look fat,” Ali said, rifling through some hangers.
Emma rolled her eyes and dropped the dress back into the pile. She was used to her best friend berating her body because she had been doing it for years, but that didn’t mean that she was okay with it.
“No, it doesn’t. Besides, you know that your wardrobe isn’t the only thing bothering you. What’s wrong?” she argued, dropping down onto the bed.
Ali groaned angrily and sat down next to her. The other woman was right. The anxieties she had about the evening and her impending choice to follow Liam back to Cordonia were making her harsher on herself than usual. But, that didn’t mean she was in the mood to talk about her feelings. However, she knew that Emma wouldn’t leave her alone until she did.
“I haven’t been this nervous about a date since the first time I went out with Liam,” she said, resting her head on the blonde girl’s shoulder.
“Good nervous or bad nervous?”
“I’d have to give up everything to be with him, but at the same time I can’t imagine letting him go again,” she said.
“Just because it’s a change doesn’t mean you have to give everything up. Just because you won’t be living with us anymore, doesn’t mean we won’t still be a family. The only thing you’re really giving up is your shitty waitress job,” Emma reasoned.
Ali thought about what she said for a moment. It made sense, but Emma seemed to oversimplify it. Deciding to move to a whole different country was a big decision, especially if the only reason she was doing it was for a guy.
“And on a more shallow note, I want him to think I look nice,” she said in a small, embarrassed voice.
Emma smirked and rested her chin on top of her friend’s head.
“Good nervous, then. You know, I’m sure you could wear a potato sack, and the man would still think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world,” she said, a fond smile on her face.
Emma had always liked Liam. She had been upset for her friend when he left, but she had liked him. He was good for Ali. Ali had a tendency to get in her head and let her anxieties and insecurities get the best of her, but Liam had always had a way of pulling her out of it. He always seemed to know what to say when she was having a bad day, whether that be because of her mental health or because of a stressful week of classes. He had been so obviously head over heels in love with her, and he knew how to bring out the best side of her. They both had a way of doing that for each other.
“I’m pretty sure that’s not true,” Ali said, rolling her eyes and walking back to the closet.
“He still looks at you the same way, you know,” she persisted.
“What way?”
“Like you’re the light of his life. His reason for waking up in the morning,” she said, swooning dramatically, before bursting into a fit of giggles.
Ali threw a romper at her and watched as she dodged it just before it hit her in the face.
“Shut up!”
Emma laughed and walked back over to the pile on the floor, sifting through it and pulling out a simple black dress.
“Wear this. It’s simple enough for what he has planned, but it shows just enough cleavage to keep things interesting,” she said, suggestively raising one of her eyebrows.
“You know what he has planned?”
Emma nodded and walked out the door without saying another word.
Ali dressed quietly before observing her reflection critically in the mirror. She sighed, pulling at the hem of the dress nervously.
“Ali!” she heard Cole’s voice call out for her.
She looked down at her phone and felt the corners of her mouth tug up into a small smile. It was 6:59 PM. Liam always was punctual. She took a deep breath, pulled on her shoes, and made her way out to the living room.
Liam was standing in the middle of the living room with a few grocery bags in his hand, and Cole and Ezra were standing next to him, trying unsuccessfully to make themselves look intimidating.
“Okay, boys, come along,” Emma said, placing her hands on both of their shoulders. “Have fun.”
She threw Ali a smile over her shoulder and led the guys out of the apartment. Ali waved goodbye awkwardly and looked over at Liam questioningly.
“I wanted to make you dinner. I convinced them to leave the apartment for the night,” he said raising the bags in his hands.
“How did you manage that?” she asked, taking one of the bags from him and walking over to the kitchen.
“Well, I didn’t do it so much as I asked Emma to,” he confessed, pulling a smile from Ali.
She began emptying the grocery bag and had to refrain herself from laughing as she looked over canned tomatoes, package of uncooked spaghetti, and various herbs.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” she asked, smiling widely and turning to look at him.
“I know it didn’t exactly go well the first time, but I promise I’m better at it now,” he said, walking up to her and placing his hands on her waist. “You look beautiful, by the way.”
Even in her heels he needed to lean down a considerable amount to press the small kiss to her forehead. He was about to pull away, when she made a split second decision and grabbed onto his cheeks with both of her hands. She pushed herself up onto her toes the best she could in her heels and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.
“Thank you, and I’m helping this time. I still don’t know how you managed to ruin boxed spaghetti like that,” she said, pulling away and moving over to the cabinet where she and the Larsons kept their pots and pans.
~~~
Ali took a deep breath before knocking on the door to Liam’s apartment. This was their first real date. Well, technically it was their second. The “first” had been when he decided to tag along with her and the kids she was babysitting as they went to a small cafe after a library visit.
To say she was nervous was an understatement. She was excited too, of course. She had been practically bouncing in place when he called and asked to see her again, but she was definitely nervous.
“Hey, you look beautiful,” Liam said, opening the door to let her in.
He pulled her into a hug and placed a gentle kiss to her forehead before shutting the door behind her. Ali couldn’t help but notice that his face was flushed and his hair was mussed slightly.
She took in the large apartment. It was filled with modern furniture, and the tall windows in the living room gave a beautiful view of the lights from the buildings around them. She followed Liam into the spacious kitchen where a few pots and pans were set up on the stove, one of them emitting copious amounts of smoke.
“Your apartment is gorgeous,” she said, looking out at the counter where she could see all of the ingredients necessary for pasta and homemade tomato sauce spread out.
There as a smaller dining room table set up a little way off from the kitchen with two place settings and a few candles.
“Do you cook very often?” she asked, as she watched him open a bottle of wine and pour two glasses for them.
“Not… exactly,” he said, smiling sheepishly.
“Oh?” she asked hesitantly.
She wasn’t trying to offend him, but when he had offered to make her dinner she assumed that he had some kind of cooking experience. It didn’t help that he was looking slightly frantic.
“I’m not very much of a chef, but this is a recipe that my mother used to make when I was a child. She wasn’t the best cook either, but this was the one thing she always made well,” he said with a fond smile. “I thought I would give it a try myself.”
“Do you need any help?” she asked.
“No, just relax,” he said, handing one of the glasses and motioning for her to sit down at one of the stools by the kitchen counter. “I think it’s almost done.”
Ali did as he instructed and took a sip of the dark liquid. She had never been much of a wine person. Being a broke college student meant that she typically went with whatever alcohol she could afford. However, Ali took one more quick glance around the apartment and concluded that Liam probably didn’t have the same problem. She typically tried not to judge financial status based on where a person lived considering she herself lived in a penthouse even though she was drowning in student debt and barely made any money babysitting. But, it was obvious from the way Liam dressed and carried himself that he had expensive tastes and was able to afford his lifestyle. It wasn’t that he was pompous or arrogant, but he did seem to carry himself with an air of confidence. Or, at least he usually seemed to.
“Are you sure you don’t want a hand?” she asked again, as he cursed under his breath.
He was lifting the lid of the smoking pot with one oven-mitt covered hand and holding a piece of parmesan cheese awkwardly with the other as if he didn’t know what to do with it.
“Um, no. Everything’s okay,” he said, turning to her a strained smile on his face.
Ali held back a laugh as a timer went off on his phone, and his eyes widened dramatically.
“What was that for?” he mumbled to himself frantically.
She pushed herself off of the stool and took the cheese from his hand, placing it on the counter. A faint burning smell was filling the air, and he seemed to panic even more.
“Liam, just breathe for a second. Turn off the alarm,” she instructed.
He nodded and silenced the noise before turning back to her for further instructions. She kicked off her heels and slipped the oven mitt off of his hand before placing it on her own.
Upon opening the first pot she was met with the sight of clearly overcooked spaghetti. It seemed that Liam hadn’t boiled enough water in the first place and had then left the pasta on the heat for too long. The noodles were floating in about an inch of water, and most of them seemed to be stuck together.
Ali turned off the heat and transferred the pot onto one of the cool burners before moving to the next one, which seemed to be the source of the burning smell. This pot had been the one he was attempting to make the sauce in. When she stirred the contents, she realized that they began to stick to the bottom of the container. She turned the burner off and moved the pan off of the heat before turning to look at him with a mixture of a cringe and a smile on her face.
“So, the pasta may be a little over cooked, and the sauce may have some… charred bits, but I’m sure it’ll still taste fine,” she said in a voice that didn’t sound at all convincing.
Liam sighed, a disappointed look in his eyes.
“I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. It’s still pretty early. I know a great pizza place about fifteen minutes away. They deliver,” she said, taking out her phone and already dialing the number.
~~~
“It wasn’t that bad,” Liam laughed as he prepared to snap the bundle of spaghetti in half.
“Liam, that spaghetti was both overcooked and undercooked at the same time. Wait! Don’t do that!” she laughed, putting down the piece of garlic that she was mincing.
“I was trying to fit it in the pot.”
“Isn’t it like completely against all cooking rules?” she said, rummaging through the cabinet to get a bigger pot.
“Is that really a thing?”
“I think so,” she responded, filling the pot with water and letting it boil as she returned to the garlic.
Liam came up behind her and pressed his chest against her back, his arms wrapping around her waist as he watched her work in silence. She finished up what she was doing and made sure that the tomato sauce was cooking on the stove before turning to look at him, catching sight of the parmesan on the counter from the corner of her eye.
“Hey, if I lean my head back will you grate cheese into my mouth?” she asked with a wide smile.
Liam threw his head back and laughed.
“Wait, you’re serious?” he questioned, his eyebrows raised at her ridiculous request.
“Completely.”
He rolled his eyes playfully and took the cheese in one hand and the grater in the other. He positioned it perfectly so that the small shreds of cheese fell directly into her mouth as he began to grate it. She chewed on the cheese happily as she brought her head back up and placed the items back on the counter.
“Did you enjoy that?” Liam asked, looking her over with an amused expression.
“Oh, definitely,” she said, walking over to where he had taken a seat at the kitchen table.
He carefully brushed the remnants of cheese off of the front of her dress, and she looked down at him fondly. He smiled back up at her, his arms curling around her hips and pulling her so that she was standing between his open legs.
“I’ve missed you so much,” he said. “I don’t think I know anyone else who would have done that.”
“You mean no one in Cordonia likes to have fun?” she joked, watching as he threw his head back and laughed.
“Not quite like that,” he responded, pulling her into a soft kiss.
She kissed him back lovingly, running her fingers slowly through his hair.
“I missed you too,” she whispered against his lips.
The pair stayed wrapped in each other’s embrace, their lips moving together slowly as their food cooked on the stove. They were pulled out of their bubble by the timer going off on Ali’s phone. They moved away from each other and finished making dinner in a comfortable silence.
The recipe was simple enough, and spaghetti with tomato sauce wasn’t a crazy concept, so Ali was surprised to realize just how flavorful the food actually was when she took the first bite.
“Okay, we have to do the Lady and the Tramp thing before we finish,” she said as their meal progressed.
She put one strand of spaghetti in her mouth and watched with enjoyment as Liam struggled to put the other end in his without breaking it They both began to move toward each other, the strand of pasta getting smaller as it disappeared into their respective mouths. Their lips met in a playful kiss in the middle, and Ali pulled back with a satisfied smile. As they looked into each other’s eyes, she fought back the urge to tell him that she loved him, opting instead to make small talk.
“So catch me up on everything,” she said, turning back to her food and allowing them to fall into an easy conversation.
After dinner they retired to the couch, bellies full and both completely relaxed.
“Dinner was amazing. I still can’t believe you fucked the recipe up that much the first time,” Ali laughed as she lay back.
Her feet were propped up in Liam’s lap, and he was gently massaging them as she lay across the couch, her head resting on the arm of it. She was glad that they had been able to do his mother’s recipe justice. Everything turned out perfect this time.
“Well, in my defense, I’d never tried cooking before that point,” he said.
“You literally couldn’t boil water,” she argued.
Liam rolled his eyes good-naturedly and smiled at her.
“Just out of curiosity, how expensive was that bottle of wine? The one we drank that night.”
“I’m not sure. Maybe three or four hundred dollars,” he answered, causing her to laugh.
“So we drank $400 wine with pizza that cost about $15. Wow, that’s like a perfect representation of our relationship,” she joked.
“How do you mean?” he asked, moving his hand up to massage her calf.
Ali sighed contentedly at his actions, enjoying the feeling of his hands on her body.
“Expensive and put together,” she said, pointing at him. “And not,” she gestured back to herself.
Liam looked at her curiously for a moment, but didn’t respond, and the two of them settled into a comfortable silence. It was easy for them to be together like this. It was comfortable, and it felt natural. It felt right. But, they weren’t allowed to have this. They weren’t allowed to have a simple life together like this.
“What are you thinking about?” Liam said quietly, pulling Ali out of her thoughts.
Ali looked into his eyes and pulled herself up into a sitting position. She began fiddling with the top button of his shirt nervously.
“I’m happy, but I wish I wasn’t.” “Why?” he asked, his touch gentle against the skin of her thigh.
“Because this isn’t fair. None of this is. I should have to uproot my entire life to be happy with you,” she said, looking up and realizing how close her face was to his.
“I know. I hate that you have to,” he whispered. “I wish I could give you the life together I promised you back then. I wish I could give everything you deserve.”
Ali’s heart was hammering in her chest as she felt his breath on her face. He was saying all of the right things. It was somehow everything she wanted to hear, but also the worst thing she could imagine. She wanted to say no to going back with him. She wanted to believe that all of her feelings for him were gone, so she would be able to go on living her regular life and pretend like this never happened once he was gone again.
But, she knew there was no hope of that as she found herself reaching up to pull him into a kiss. She threw one leg over his lap, straddling him as her kisses became more frantic. Liam’s hand gripped the back of her thighs roughly as his lips moved against hers. She tugged on his hair, and he broke away from her mouth before beginning to press kisses down her jaw and neck. After a moment he pulled away from her skin, trying his best to restrain himself.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” he asked, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.
She pulled him back into another kiss. This one slower and more passionate.
“Not at all.”
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