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dragon-giggles · 1 year

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Muppet Headcanons

I have so many random, silly Muppet headcanons I need to get out of my system, sooo here we go, bare with me

~Kermit still keeps in touch with the Sesame Street gang ever since he left them. He usually calls Elmo, Grover, or Ernie the most to check up on them and say hi!

~Apart from fish being his favorite animal, Lew Zealand is a big animal lover in general! He has an especially soft spot for all aquatic wildlife, including animals such as turtles and seabirds.

~I don't care what y'all say, Bobo and Uncle Deadly had something with each other in The Muppets (2011).

~Miss Piggy really does have a soft heart, her temper just makes it hard to show. Actually, this better be canon.

~Robin and Rowlf's nephew (from the Jimmy Dean Show) are good friends and love having play dates.

~Big Mean Carl is really emotional, he's just really good at hiding it.

~Fozzie has accidentally set things on fire more than once. Most times have been in the kitchen, he's not exactly the best cook. But it's happened so much somehow, it pretty much seems like he's prone to it.

~Sweetums gets along well with a lot of the tinier Muppets ironically. He's surprisingly really gentle when he needs to be, and is always careful with his smaller friends. Him and Yolanda are besties!

~Walter has more than once weirded out the others by just how much he knows about each of them. (Well that's what happens when your a super fan guys)

~Gonzo has a whole wardrobe that's just dresses.

~This is pretty much canon, but it's agreed Zoot has magical abilities. The guy has probably traveled to other dimensions and not even realized it.

~Also pretty much canon, but Rowlf has a much sassier side to him than he usually let's on. Most people just haven't seen it that often... except for Jimmy Dean. Jimmy Dean saw it plenty of times lol.

~Fozzie is like the resident tickle monster lol. Usually if someone doesn't laugh at his joke, he'll just be a little twerp and tickle them to make them laugh. He'll also just do it to be silly (Kermit has been a victim to his silliness the most lol).

~Kermit knows every first and middle name of all of his siblings. (which keep in mind he canonically has like over a thousand siblings)

~Beauregard knows a lot of cool random facts actually that he'll just randomly throw out there sometimes.

~Another one about Beau, him and Beaker are good friends. (They canonically usually set up stage props together on The Muppet Show)

~Scooter has so many father figures. Kermit, Dr. Teeth, Fozzie, and Rowlf are all his dads lol... and Janice is his one mom figure.

~Pepe and Rizzo have been together at some point.

~Nigel, more well-known as the band conductor from The Muppet Show, and Kermit are actually good old friends. (He was actually meant to be the host for The Muppet Show before the role was switched to Kermit)

~Lips and Dolores (trumpet girl) are really good friends despite him taking up her role as trumpet player. She'll still sometimes pick up her old trumpet and the two will play together for fun.

~I don't know why this isn't canon but. Walter. Autism. Real.

~Skeeter likes to visit the Muppet theatre every so often to visit Scooter. In the few times she's been there, she's developed pretty good relationships with all the others as well.

~Bunsen and Beaker have pretty much been together since they were literally babies (go watch Muppet Babies for proof)

~This isn't really a headcanon but something I've noticed about Miss Piggy. She seems to have a softer spot for a few of the others, and I don't just mean Kermit.

I've noticed that she genuinely baby talks Rowlf a lot, and calls him Rowlfy. She's never actually tried to karate chop him like she has others either. There's been like once she tried to swing at him, from The Muppet Show, and ended up hitting the piano instead. Personally to me, it seemed like she didn't really try with her hit like she has all other times; it was more like she was annoyingly swatting at him because he was aggravating her (which he was btw, he was teasing her). I just think her and Rowlf are good old pals, and I just think that she knows that he's genuinely sweet and doesn't wanna be mean to someone like that.

Same with Beauregard, she's been really nice to him too. She's even given him a motivational speech before from The Muppet Show (in that same episode, he hugged her and said she was his only friend and I sobbed so mentally hard over that). I think Miss Piggy just knows who generally good folks are and in turn shows her soft side to them.

Okay I've poured out all I can, for now! Here's some silly doodles of some of the headcanons!

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cowboywithfangs · 2 years

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Muppet Goncharov Fancast

I know they only really do Muppet remakes with public domain stories but with all the copyright disputes I'm certain Disney could squeeze it.

I think you guessed this one but it must be said:

Kermit as Goncharov

This one's not just based on Kermit being "the main guy", I think his personality meshes really well with the inexpressive but nonetheless emotion-driven Goncharov. Softer spoken than the rest but not soft, he can and will lay down the hammer.

Token Human

Okay next let's decide who should be our token human character. Personally, my vote is for Katya.

Amanda Seyfried as Katya Goncharova

I know a lot of you were expecting Piggy here but hear me out. Casting Katya as a non-Muppet could really emphasize the theme of her alienation from both Russia and Italy and also I think it'd be funny if someone had to crouch down to Muppet-height to do the iconic cigarette scene.

I think Seyfried is great in this role because she's done fantastic work portraying complex and tragic female characters in the past but also can keep it fun for a Muppet-y version of Katya.

Now on to the rest of the Muppets...

Gonzo as Andrey Dodano

Andrey's quiet concern for Goncharov and fear of the inevitable end to their story screams Gonzo to me. The existentialism. He has a sadness in his eyes that [gunshots] Also Gonzo's not-quite-failure stunt performer career is very similar to Andrey's mob career. They both put themselves in a lot of danger for little appreciation in their respective worlds.

Piggy as Sofia

She can do the drama of a love triangle justice like no other! She can be flashy AND mysterious. Demure AND suave. Plus I think this would really bring to the front the performative femininity of Sofia's character and especially how she not only utilizes that performance but enjoys it as well.

Rowlf as Mario Ambrosini

Mario is loyal to his mob family to a fault and Rowlf, as a dog, could really channel that unconditional devotion. Also the scene where Dasha the cat passes in front of Mario, in addition to the symbolism already there, would have a whole new meaning if Mario was portrayed by a dog.

Sweetums as Valery Michailov

It feels wrong casting any Muppet as Valery cause he's just such a mean spirited guy. I'm largely going with Sweetums because I was scared of him as kid, but also because I think he's the perfect guy to pull off the last minute secretly has a heart but now its too late thing. The hug goodbye that you can't tell if it's genuine or manipulative. I think Sweetums could really embody that ambiguity.

Fozzie Bear as Ice Pick Joe

Ice Pick Joe would be a perfect comic relief role for Fozzie in a Muppet adaptation of Goncharov. Imagine for a second Fozzie doing the nickname monologue but as a stand-up comedy bit. Are you imaging it? "It was ice knowing ya!" (laughter ensues) etc.

And here's some more fun minor roles:

Lew Zealand as the gondolier

This is mostly about the fish stuff. Will it ruin the gondola moment to have a Muppet interrupt and point out the fish symbolism? Absolutely. Will it be funny when he gets slapped in the face by his own boomerang fish? Absolutely.

Scooter as the fruit vendor

Okay maybe this is mean to say but the actor in the original does look a lot like Scooter to me already. Also Scooter gives the vibes of being surprisingly cool with open homoeroticism. The antithesis of right in front of my salad if you would.

Statler and Waldorf as the assassin(s)

I know in the original Andrey just hires one assassin but he had such catty energy I think this adaptation there should be two and they could properly bitch amongst themselves as they kill (or fail to kill) their target. And who better for that? What is a theater booth if not a sniper's nest for hurling insults?

Rizzo the Rat as Dasha the Cat

Animal as the clock tower keeper

Because bells are loud and Animal is loud. But seriously imagine the hilarity of the "even i can't stop the clock" bit but instead of the melancholic portrayal of the original, the manic energy of Animal.

In conclusion: Disney hire me

That's all I've got for now, I would LOVE to hear if anyone has additional ideas for other cast members (I think there's a TON of potential for using Sam the Eagle as part of the critique of America-centric thinking in the original but I don't know as who!) or alternate castings!

#goncharov

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synttx · 10 months

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I love cyberpunk 2020 in numerous ways, and it's generally been great to run, probably my favorite tabletop ruleset I've played as far as all around mechanical integrity is concerned.

HOWEVER, the number of times I've had to narrate someone dying instantly by being shot in an arm or leg is getting absurd. twice the probability to hit limbs relative to center of mass is just ridiculous.

"you hear his phemur shatter and blood rushed from his leg, he screams in pain and loses consciousness" just feels like nothing. I get that this is probably for balancing the location-based armor so that armored vests wouldn't be overpowered, but it gets ridiculous especially when a higher calliber bullet firing in a 3 round burst can easily on average do 24 damage and limbs are unlikely to be armored above 4 stopping power and become inoperable after 8 damage. If a guy with an MPK hits a shot on your character for 12 or more damage, there is a 60% chance you will lose a limb.

It's gonzo and gives limb replacements a cool practical function for characters, encouraging cyberware with fun stories behind it, but when half the cops or gang members I control in a given combat have lost a limb after a few rounds it can get a bit silly.

#cyberpunk 2020 #ttrpg #rpg design

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mywifeleftme · 1 year

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100: Jerry Jeff Walker // Too Old to Change

Too Old to Change Jerry Jeff Walker 1979, Elektra

“Jerry Jeff Walker is the answer to the hypothetical, ‘What if Jimmy Buffett were cool?’” was how Jack, my friend Prue’s sibling, pitched the good time country legend to us prior to our road trip through Texas, and he’s been a mainstay in our driving playlists ever since. Whatever life’s supposed to be, Jerry Jeff usually seemed to be doing it right, basically the dog with sunglasses from Oliver & Company only in Austin with better grass and better songs. His music feels as comfortable as a good old pair of boots; he has a song about the guy who makes the best boots in Texas. Jerry Jeff knew exactly who he was, even though he was born a Ronald in upstate New York.

I was already firmly on the Gonzo bandwagon by the time I first heard Too Old to Change a few years after that introduction, but when I did I was in a particularly impressionable state. During another adventure with Prue I was hit by a brutal full body allergic reaction, and spent much of the sweltering journey either propped up in the passenger seat or trying to sleep despite my extremities swelling into crab claws. Prue was in the midst of a brief fixation on cassettes, and we must’ve played Too Old to Change at least 40 times that week, marveling at its casual craftsmanship. Its tone is the exact warmth of the car seat I kept sleepily melting into on our short drives to the river.

Too Old to Change isn’t Walker’s best record (that’d be Jerry Jeff Walker or ¡Viva Terlingua!), but it might be his most endearing. It has the vibe of a rascally man feeling his age a bit, and it makes sense if you think about it: Walker had put out 13 records in the past 11 years. How was he to know that he and his fellow survivors of the late ‘60s would have careers longer than the state of Rhodesia existed? Despite being his first LP without a songwriting credit, his ear for the kind of songs he could make work for him was as sharp as ever. If you didn’t know them previously, it’d be easy to mistake half the songs here for Jerry Jeff originals, with the six-song run from “Old Nashville Cowboy” through “Northeast Texas Women” being as pure a distillation of the man’s worldview as anything he ever penned himself.

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Walker was a remarkable interpreter of others’ words, as a bandleader and especially as a singer. He was no Willie Nelson, but Walker’s abilities as a storyteller made the modest, avuncular quality of his voice his greatest charm. Compare Nelson’s recording of Bill Callery’s “Hands on the Wheel” from 1975’s Red-Headed Stranger to Walker’s. Nelson’s take is wonderful, doing his usual swooping low/high/low vocal runs, like a sewing needle through fabric, and his arrangement has a tinge of jazz to it. By contrast, Walker’s sounds like overhearing someone singing quietly to themselves on the front porch at dusk, someone reflecting on their memories and coming to a realization. When we talk about country music, we often use terms like ‘simple’ and ‘elemental’ as the highest compliments, which isn’t always fair to a genre that can be wonderfully decadent and idiosyncratic. But, but:

At a time when this world, seemed to be spinning, Reeling out of control There were some believers, Deceivers, a few in-betweeners Who seemed to have no place they could go

It's the same old song, It’s right and you're wrong Living's just something you’re gonna do, With no place to hide, I fell into your eyes, And I found myself in you

I've looked to the stars, Lord, and roared to the bars Till my life had gone up in smoke With my hands on the wheel, Of something I know is real Yeah I know that I am headed home

In the shape of an oak, down by the river, You see an old man, and a boy They're setting sails, spinning tales, He’s probably telling him about some whales Laughing with a lady that they enjoy

It's the same old tune, It’s the man in the moon It's the way that I feel Since I found you ‘Cause I had no place I could hide, I looked into your eyes, And I found myself in you I've looked to the stars, I busted up some bars I saw my life as a joke But with my hands on the wheel Of something that’s so real I know that I'm headed home

I don’t know that you can express anything any better in 200 words than Bill Callery did there, and Walker gives you every wry smile, every flicker of regret, every sigh of contentment those words contain without doing much more than talk and pick at his guitar a little. Too Old to Change is a wonderful capstone to Jerry Jeff's prime, and as someone who’s listened to more of his music than any other artist over the past three or four years, in the end it’s the one I reach for most often.

100/365

Bonus: A little playlist for those new to Walkerdom

#music review #vinyl record #'70s music #country #'70s country #jerry jeff walker #gonzo #austin texas #outlaw country

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bnprime · 2 years

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so i’ve been DMing my first dnd game for about a year now. three of the five players are new to the game, and two are experienced. the title of my homebrew game is “the king in yellow journalism” and it’s a mishmash of cosmic horror, x-files references, jokes about new england and america in the late 1880’s, and having to write articles for one of the two magazines (one is based on national geographic, the other is based on “the fortean times.”). in order to generate excitement and subscriptions for both magazines, the editors have decided to send the writers out to cover the same thing from their different perspectives. as the players are slowly discovering, there are many things wrong with their world. aside from the prevalent racism and oppression, i mran… they explored a farm which was the site of a meteor impact, where all the people got turned into monsters (the color out of space). they visited a pirate village which had gotten too friendly with fish people (shadow over innsmouth). they’re currently investigating a west virginian miners strike, involving a missing union leader, and a bunch of other weird crap. anyway, it’s wild. but here’s the cool bit. of the five players, i think only the two veteran players and this other guy caught onto the cosmic horror vibe from the start, when i told everyone the title of the campaign. the other two are both entirely unfamiliar with the genre stories, and the general way people play dnd. which is great, because the new players are gonzo. one of the characters is a halfling who is pure id. they will just eat anything i put in front of them. cursed fruit? poisoned food? yes! they are ready for adventure! and they also roll very high for lore checks. so anytime someone mysterious wanders past covered in mysterious symbols, our halfling immediately recognizes them and knows their significance. uh, for example. they were camping in a cursed orchard (two of them had just eaten some weird contaminated fruit) and our halfling was on watch duty. and they saw a weird robed guy harvesting the contaminated fruit, so they went over to talk to him (!!) and then (when seeing that they had eaten the fruit and become contaminated) he invites the camp to go to a meeting. and they say yes, on behalf of the camp (!!!) . so he teleports them to a big cult gathering (!!!!) where the halfling eats more of the fruit and then can see the goddess they are worshipping, and because they always roll high on lore, they know that the thing being worshipped isn’t the goddess they are naming and oh boy. another new player is a aarakocra bard who plays a cursed viola (leading to a ‘the music of erich zann’ subplot somewhere in the future). and he is just terrific. like, he’s just this bro guy, but he’s always excited to perform and people just like.. want to be his friend and tell him everything. he’s become the group’s “face man,” and he also makes unpredictable choices. like adopting a partially monsterized little girl who had a horse head, and then asking his parents to take care of her. i really love our other characters too, but that’s probably enough for now. but if you have a fun setting you’d like to play in, and know some people who and clever, playing dnd in your homebrew universe with your friends is really great because everyone gets invested into your story, and things work out in really unexpected unpredictable ways. especially of the characters your friends make have no impulse control.

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waugh-bao · 2 years

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Top 5 early 2000s Charlie pics (so shameless of me, I just want to see pics). Also top 5 books.

I’m not complaining.

In no particular order:

1. He looks like a classic movie star and I love it.

2. Charlie smiling is nice no matter what, but I know from the rest of the set that he’s smiling at Mick, which makes it that much better.

3. I mean, do we even need to say why?

4. It’s neat to see Charlie in a space that he decorated, and it’s especially nice to see him looking so relaxed and comfortable in his own skin. This is 2000, so that good period post-‘80s drinking/drugs and pre-cancer, when he seemed to have more confidence than he ever had before or would again.

5. Isn’t it lovely to see an old married couple that still enjoys each other’s company?

I’m not sure if this is for the Stones or all books in general, so I’ll just do both.

(With the caveat that I’m a massive book nerd and asking me to pick my favorite is like asking someone to choose a favorite kid, so I’m just going a bit randomly and only doing fiction. Also, as before, no particular order).

Stones:

1. Life by Keith Richards

It’s biased, but he’s entertaining as hell/so damn bitchy, and there is Charlie propaganda galore.

2. The True Adventures of The Rolling Stones by Stanley Booth

An interesting view into the Stones as a cultural force, as well as their band dynamics, and Stanley’s obvious crush on Shirley is hilarious.

3. Sympathy for the Drummer by Mike Edison

Quite honestly, I don’t read a lot of band books/celebrity bios, and a lot of that has to do with the fact that the writing is trash. Totally not the case here. Edison has a very Hunter S. Thompson meets Tom Wolfe, gonzo/New Journalism style that makes the book enjoyable to read even just for the prose. Of course, the most important part is that it’s all about why Charlie Watts is amazing.

4. S.T.P. by Robert Greenfield

Like the Booth book, a cool view into the band itself and its cultural impact. The book he wrote about following them in 1971 is also pretty good.

5. Stoned by Jo Wood

Lots of great, candid photos.

Books in general:

1. My Name is Red by Orhan Pamuk

This is a novel about a miniaturist in the 16th century Ottoman Empire, but it’s also an exploration of religion, love, sex, violence, art, and everything else under the sun. The subject is already close to my heart, both because Islamic miniature painting is an art form I love and that period/place intersects with my professional life, but the prose is mind bendingly good. Each chapter has a different narrator, and it’s not only people that narrate, but the color red, a corpse, death, etc.

2. Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh

Waugh is one of my favorite English novelists, and this may be my favorite one of his books. It’s sweeping yet still human, sad but still retains hope, funny and dark without losing any of its gravity. The description of Charles and Sebastian under the tree with Aloysius the teddy will haunt me forever.

3. The Collected Poems in English: Joseph Brodsky

Poetry is a little outside of fiction, but I adore Brodsky, so we’ll stretch. To be quite honest, I’m guessing that this is the best resource to read him in English, because I have all of his work in Russian, but please, read him any way you can. He’s criminally underappreciated outside of the Russophone world, and his work is just shatteringly amazing. If you’ve never tried anything by him, look up “May 24, 1980.”

4. Love in A Fallen City and Other Stories by Eileen Chang

This is a novella attached to a collection of short stories, and every piece deserves to be written. Chang shines a fascinating light on early 20th century Chinese culture and society, normally from an often little appreciated female perspective. Even though many of her works focus on relationships between men and women, she’s not any kind of stereotypical romance writer, and you get a lot more than cheap tears or saccarine happy endings.

5. Love in the Ruins by Walker Percy

It’s the voice that draws me to this book, and I think that’s also what makes it so engaging. Dr. Thomas More (descendant of the famous author of Utopia) is a southern doctor struggling day to day to look after his patients in a disintegrating country. He’s also an alcoholic, a lapsed Catholic, and a divorcee who lost a daughter and ricochets between women trying to find stability and meaning while waiting for the end of the world.

#honorable mention for ada by vladimir nabokov #thanks!#the rolling stones #charlie watts #keith richards #old married band #mick jagger #ask response #anonymous #ask game

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duhragonball · 3 years

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What do You think about Maron, the Krilin's ex-girlfriend? I know she is hated a lot because she looks like Bulma and because of her poor intellect (although it must be admitted that she cares about others), but I would like to know your opinion about it? Why do you think that, without any reason, they introduced a character like her and why make she looks so much like Bulma when they could easily avoid a thousand controversies by even changing the color of her hair?

I think you don't understand the issues surrounding this character.

First off, let me take this moment to clarify something, mostly so I can remember it myself. Krillin's ex has almost exactly the same name as his daughter, and here's how to remember which is which.

Maron (マロン Maron) is the ex-girlfriend.

Marron (マーロン Māron) is Krillin and 18's daughter

The names sound indistinguishable in the dub, but they're spelled differently in English. The ex has one 'r', and the daughter has two. And the names are also spelled differently in Japanese, with a long vowel mark added to extend the vowel in "ma".

The characters have nothing to do with one another, and the naming was likely just a coincidence, since they both tie into the same chesnut wordplay that Krillin's name uses.

Anyway, the ex-girlfriend was introduced first, and she gets one 'r', and the daughter came second, and she gets two 'r's. Convenient.

So there's two major problems people have with Maron. The first is that she's a filler character introduced in a long stretch of filler episodes. By the end of the Frieza Saga, Toei's production schedule was cranking out episodes faster than Akira Toriyama could keep up with the manga. This was always a logistical hurdle with Dragon Ball (and other anime), which was always resolved by padding episodes with filler scenes, or sometimes entire filler episodes. But things got especially desperate around that time, so Toei had to do an unprecedented run of filler episodes to keep the show on the air. And this was how we got the Garlic Junior Saga, the Driver's Ed episode, Mr. Shuu, the flashback to Frieza getting turned into a cyborg, and so on.

It also gave us Maron. The thing is, a lot of people don't care for the Garlic Junior Saga to begin with. It's ten episodes of marking time, Goku's not even in the story, it doesn't even try to fit into the continuity of the show, and many of the plot "twists" just feel like random stuff tacked on to drag out the conflict. Personally, I like the arc okay, but that's mostly because I dig the Black Water Mist and Makyo Star lore. But I do find myself checking my watch in the final leg of the saga. Let's face it, this thing doesn't need to be ten episodes long, and you could easily trim it down to seven if you edited Maron out of the show.

So that's Problem Number One: She's a filler character shoehorned into what was already a filler saga. Her job is literally to waste time, and while there's plenty of timewasting in Dragon Ball Z, Maron is an especially egregious example. For a lot of fans, Maron represents everything wrong with the show, all of the pointless bullshit added in for production schedules rather than entertainment value. Making her a redhead wouldn't have solved that.

Problem number Two is that she treated Krillin like dirt, and fans love Krillin. He's the fucking best. She seemed to like him well enough, but it was impossible for anyone to figure out what she really wanted out of their relationship. Characters would ask her directly, and she would just avoid the question or say "I don't know," like a friggin' toddler. Meanwhile, Krillin's trying to figure out how to propose to her, constantly worrying about whether he's worthy of her, but she doesn't even know anything about him. He takes her to meet his friends, and she flirts with the boys and insults the girls. I don't think she was being intentionally cruel about it, but the message of that arc was that she wasn't taking the relationship nearly as seriously as he was. She was too impulsive and flighty, and indecisive, and Krillin was focused and serious and ready to settle down. The only reason he put up with her for as long as he did was because he lacked the self-confidence to understand that he could do better.

This is why all of his friends were so supportive of him when he told them he broke up with her. They were skeptical of Maron the whole time, and they were glad Krillin had finally wised up to the situation. This was only borne out when she showed up at Kame House again, three years later, trying to rekindle their romance. Roshi told her where Krillin was and why, and she didn't pay attention to any of it. She almost ran off with some complete strangers for no real reason. Then she tried to make out with a turtle. Then she called like two dozen "boyfriends" to pick her up, presumably because she was bored waiting for Krillin to come back.

Roshi and Turtle agreed that they should never speak of it again, and really, why should they tell Krillin about this? Maron's entire visit was a complete waste of time, and she fell in and out of love with Krillin all over again, without even seeing him! Again, this is a character solely created to waste time and make you feel bad for Krillin, and that's not a road to popularity. A new hairstyle wouldn't solve anything.

You say "it must be admitted that she cares about others", but no, I won't admit that. Maron doesn't have the attention span to care about others. She only seems to be interested in "having fun", but in this really vague way that doesn't require any sort of commitment to anything or anyone. I always imagined that she was created as some sort of bitter parody of a real-life ex-girlfriend, like the writers were trying to express their frustration through her.

I find the idea of Maron interesting from time to time, but more as an overlooked curiosity than anything else. A dedicated writer might find a way to get a cool story out of her, but I don't see any takers, and I've got bigger fish to fry. For most fans, I think, she's just a speed bump in Krillin's character arc, which leads into the arms of #18.

Maron's main contribution to the show is "fanservice", which is a term I've never cared for. Maron wears a revealing swimsuit through much of her time on DBZ, but the house-style is poorly suited to that kind of aesthetic. Most of the time she ends up looking like someone tried to make a woman out of stockings stuffed with ground beef. I watch DBZ for gonzo cartoon violence and occasional slice of life stuff. No one was doing me a "service" with all of those lingering shots of Maron's cartoon boobs.

#ask duhragonball #maron #with one r #dragon ball

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lovelyirony · 5 years

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"Set out hearts ablaze, and every city was a gift/and every skyline was like a kiss upon the lips" for winter13

Sharon is in charge of Winter Soldier. That’s...huge.

“You’re in charge of rehabilitation,” Maria tells her over drinks one night. “He needs to not have missions, but he needs someone who’s capable of fighting him. I picked you. Don’t let me down.”

Sharon applies for a Stark Industries credit card. Tony grants her one, albeit she has to answer why.

“Is this a national security thing?”

“Yeah, but when has that stopped me?” Sharon asks, reaching up for her favorite coffee mug. It’s the one with Gonzo from The Muppets on it, and she’s pretty sure the mug is from the seventies. It’s tacky and the worst. Tony hates it. She loves it.

“I need it for Winter Soldier’s rehab,” Sharon explains. “He needs to get out of the house, so to speak.”

Tony gets a strange look on his face.

“Did they tell you anything about him?”

“I haven’t read the files. I assume he did something to you. I only see that look when--oh. Oh shit.” Tony nods. “I...Tony I won’t ask for that. I’m sorry, I should’ve read up, and I should’ve--”

“No, it’s fine,” Tony explains, face still tight. “I...I’m not even mad about that, you know? Just with...Steve.”

Steve’s a sensitive topic for a variety of reasons that Sharon’s not allowed to know about.

“He didn’t tell me,” Tony continues. “About any of it. Didn’t want to.”

Sharon’s anger rises a level.

“I won’t kill him, but you tell him that I’m mad,” Sharon says. “Better yet, I’ll tell him--”

“I understand it,” Tony says wearily. “I just don’t like it.”

“Then tell him.”

“Maybe.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes!”

“Do you want the credit card? Do you?”

The conversation is ended. Sharon gets the rundown, the number for the bank, and the number to contact Jarvis with.

(Or, she pretends like that’s new. Jarvis texts her all the time, mostly if he notices that Tony needs some form of good contact with someone he loves or he needs to eat something substantial. This is why she and Tony go for monthly burger runs.)

Winter Soldier has a duffel bag and that’s it. So does Sharon, although she still brings a suitcase.

“That will hinder escape,” Winter Soldier says.

“It’s to pack new stuff away,” Sharon says. “And I know you only have two changes of clothes, which is unacceptable. Our flight’s tomorrow, let’s get shopping.”

James Barnes is...confused. They told him Agent Thirteen would be handling his resettlement into civilian life. She shows up to greet him in leggings, hair in a ponytail, and an over-sized sweatshirt that shows outdated Stark advertising.

It is not professional or uptight. She is relaxed, at ease, and driving him to a store to get “better shirts than whatever the hell you thought worked.”

She makes him get a button-down shirt. He thinks it’s less suitable than the one he has, the white one that has a starchy collar and takes a hell of a long time to button the top button.

It’s black. She approves of it.

“Okay, we need to get you sunglasses.”

“I have my field ones.”

“Those look lame as fuck, get real Barnes.”

This is how he learns that he hates polka dots, shiny lenses, and finds out that he can wear sandals.

Interesting.

He finds out that they’re not going on a mission. Sharon wants to go to Italy.

“Last time I was in Italy was 87,” Bucky grunts.

He still doesn’t have to go through TSA. Sharon flashes her badge, gestures to him.

“Newbie on the field, a little jumpy. You know how military is.”

They let him through without comment.

Sharon holds power, he recognizes that. It’s not like previous handlers, with the iron grips on guns and hidden knives in sleeves. It’s not the sly smirks of realizing that you will get away with something.

She is confident because she knows what she’s doing doesn’t have to be shrouded in secrecy, in lies that make it seem like polished silver.

Sharon Carter navigates security with ease and gets on a plane, greeting the flight agents. Barnes gets an aisle seat at the back so he has a full vantage. Sharon gets out the cheesiest looking romance book he’s ever seen and settles down.

“You’re not scared of me?” He asks. “Not even a little?”

“Oh, I am,” Sharon admits. “More than I should be for someone who is as well-trained as I am. But I know that you cannot kill me yet because I’m your handler and I have to check in every hour at a specified time that you don’t know yet. Also, we’re on an airplane. You’re setting yourself for a Rodney Dangerfield crack.”

He doesn’t get that reference.

And then they’re off.

They land in Italy. Specifically Rome first. Sharon converses in nearly-easy Italian, smiling at the driver. She holds her bags close and gets a car in about ten minutes.

“You been here before?”

“A couple of years ago,” Sharon answers. “Had a...weekend. It was cool. Got to see the Sistine Chapel, which is absolutely gorgeous. Italian painters got it right.”

Barnes isn’t sure that he’ll make it to any holy place of residence. He’s not quite sure that whoever the hell is up there would let him step a foot in.

Their hotel is nice. An old building that’s kept in relatively good condition. Sharon sets down her bags, James sets down his.

“You want rest or lunch?”

His stomach growls before he can stutter an answer.

“Lunch it is,” he affirms. “Know where to go?”

“Nope, but I figure we’ll be fine.”

He has the best meal of his life and it’s paired with excellent wine. He has no complaints, especially not hearing the lilt of voices that he can understand slightly. Sharon talks to him about history, about the last time that she was there.

They sleep that night. James does not sleep well and nearly jumps out a window because he thinks he sees someone.

Sharon yawns, walks steadily to the window, and shuts it with a loose latch.

“I’d rather not clean you off the pavement,” Sharon says. “You want some ice cream?”

As it turns out, she had gone to a grocery store, gotten a couple of pints of ice cream. “It’s not gelato,” she says, getting spoons out of the drawer. “But it’ll do.”

Ice cream is very cold. It soothes how hot his face feels, how embarrassed he is.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t have to apologize to me yet,” Sharon says. “You haven’t broken a window.”

She doesn’t ask about dreams or nightmares. She just tells him that if he likes orange-cream sherbet, then he’s a disappoint to existence.

“Guess I’m a disappointment,” he says with a shrug. He tried to make a joke.

It works as Sharon’s smile breaks out.

“That’s the spirit. I’m a disappointment too in different categories. Mostly involving fruit.”

Her smile is nice, he observes.

Italy lasts for a week more. They visit the various chapels and places where great art is. Sharon tells him all about her favorite pieces and what some fun facts are. He googles them on his phone later, writing them down to share with her.

Sharon’s taking the trip as they go.

Barnes is remarkably good at finding the stores down the beaten path, getting into the quiet cafes, and locating interesting sights.

He also, somehow, finds trouble. Because of course he does.

Sharon wakes up to a knife being thrown, a curse, and the realization that she doesn’t have pants on. Fantastic.

“Get the bags and run,” Barnes orders.

“After pants.”

“Why no pants?” He yells. “Why?”

“I was comfortable!”

Sharon gets on a pair of shorts, grabs the bags, and watches as Barnes flips someone over the window.

“Our flight’s in two hours!” Sharon yells. “Can you finish this up pretty soon?!”

“Get me--” There’s a crash.

Then a boom. Sharon’s slightly worried. Also wondering how much will be added to the bill.

“Get me the blue knife!” He yells.

Sharon tosses it, he catches it without looking.

Knew it was hot, just wasn’t expecting it, Sharon thinks.

She puts down the duffel bag, sighs, and launches herself at the first guy she sees.

They have fun. They call Maria for clean-up, get packed, and make their flight on time.

“Where to next?” James asks.

“I’m thinking we attempt to go to all of the Smithsonian exhibits,” Sharon says. “You up for the challenge?”

“Bring it.”

Sharon holds his hands as the flight goes on. She smiles at him.

“Maybe coffee?” she asks.

“Of course,” James answers. “But only if I get to take you out dancing later.”

“I’ll need to make a pit-stop for my dancing dress,” Sharon remarks, smiling.

“Can’t wait.”

Sharon shows up in a blue dress that’s enough to make any man swoon and keel over.

James feels particularly lucky.

#sharon carter #bucky barnes #maria hill #tony stark #lovelyirony writes #winter13

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unofficialkfamtranscripts · 4 years

Text

King Falls AM - Episode Six: King of King Falls

View on Google Docs

Summary: July 15, 2015 - In an effort to learn more about his new hometown, Sammy books an interview with author and King Falls historian, Howard Ford Beauregard III, however Ben questions Sammy's intentions as well as Beauregard's facts.

[Podcast intro music]

[jazzy church organ music]

Deacon Reggie Back by popula’ deman’ from tha Lawd On High, tha King Falls Stompin’ Out Tha Devil Revival will be extended two extra Sundays. Join us for a fi’th consecutive week as Reverend Xavier “Get Right With God!” Hawthorne leads the King Falls faithful, the most turnt up celebration of tha year! Come raise your haaands to the skyy an’ annoint the son o’ God! Tha Holy Spirit will be so strong, your granny bound to get ratched!

Reverend Hawthorne God is’a Good. God is’a GreaT-a. Satan is on your back because he likes ta haTe-a. Shake ‘im off for Jesus! Just shake him off! Before it is too late! Glory, Glory Hallelujah!

Deacon Reggie Come celebrate with the most highly favored congregation in town! Just outside the city limits, off’a Route 72 and MLK. (That’s Mary-Lou Kilpatrick Drive for those coming out o’ town.) [rushed disclaimer] King Falls Stompin’ Out the Devil Revival is a trademark of Right With God Productions, all use and reproductions must have written consent from Reverend Hawthorne, or the Lord above. To God be the Glory.

[KFAM intro music]

Ben [in bg] I don’t want to do this!

Sammy And we’re back! You’re listening to King Falls AM, that’s 660 on the radio dial, and that was a perturbed Ben Arnold. We got a packed show for you this evening. We have a special guest, in the house—

Ben Sorry, folks!

Sammy What are you so fired up about, Ben?

Ben You know.

Sammy Well, our dear listeners don’t know, and we’ve got a few minutes before—

Ben B-before we talk to your guest.

Sammy Our guest.

Ben Oh, there’s no wa— I would never book that guy in a thousand years. He’s all yours.

Sammy [pleading] Ben.

Ben It’s just ridiculous! If you wanna make fun of me, do it off the air! This, is not cool.

Sammy I’m not making fun! Listen folks, I did a little research—

Ben On his own.

Sammy On my own, about King Falls history- and moreso, its history with the paranormal! So I go out of my way to book a guest that is an expert in this field!

Ben HOH! BULL!

Sammy And now Ben thinks I’m just messing with him when actually I’m just trying to get a better grasp on the supernatural phenomenon that happens in our beautiful town!

Ben [quickly] You never believe it when it happens on air, why would you bring- this guy in. You’re- you’re trying to break him. Which should be easy since he’s a—

Sammy I’m serious! I’m just trying to get a better understanding of what we’ve been dealing with the last few months, Ben. And this guy, our guest, has written a book about just that!

Ben It’s an e-book, Sammy. My mother can publish an e-book. He’s a whack job.

Sammy Why are you acting like he’s not sitting right in front of us?

Ben Oh, you’ll see.

Beauregard [HFB3 has a “High Class-Better Than You” drawl at all times] “Whack job”? You must be speaking of the 1957 3rd Street Massacre— or your journalistic career.

Sammy Uh, good evening sir. Thanks for making it down to the station tonight.

Beauregard [insincerely] Charmed.

Sammy Ladies and gentlemen, we’re being joined by- an author—

Ben [cutting in] E-book.

Sammy —and King Falls paranormal expert—

Ben Self-proclaimed.

Sammy —Mr. Howard Ford Beauregard.

Beauregard The third.

Sammy Of course. Howard Ford Beauregard the Third. How are you doing this evening, Howard?

Beauregard Mr. Beauregard. And as the common folk call it: I’m swell.

Ben *clears throat* So, Mr. Beauretar[sic]—

Beauregard Is your man speaking to me, Mr. Stevens?

Sammy [confused] No— Man?… Ben?

Beauregard You shan’t be too careful these days.

Sammy So, Mr. Beauregard. How did you come to be an expert in the paranormal and supernatural aspects of King Falls?

Ben [sounds like someone whose point is about to be proved] This should be good!

Beauregard As well you know, my family settled this town of King Falls many many moons ago, so its lineage is pure and unfiltered through my veins. My family has witnessed it all and, of course, that has been passed to me and now, through my memoir, passed down to you.

Ben *laughs* Right.

Beauregard May you ask your manservant to please hold his tongue as the adults speak?

Sammy Excuse me?

Ben Sorry! Beauregard. A-also, uh, in this century, where we live, I’m the co-host of this show.

Beauregard [condescendingly] How splendid. Your mother must be co-proud of you. Mm?

Sammy Okay. To make a U-turn back to the original point, you were saying—

Beauregard Yes. We founded this city. We know every minute detail of its hellish existence. Especially when it comes to the oft spoken about ghouls, goblins, and extraordinary happenings we are known for.

Ben [offended] King Falls is a magnificent town. There is nothing “hellish” about it.

Beauregard You’re. Welcome.

Sammy So, it is true that one could say you are a self-proclaimed expert in these matters.

Beauregard The same one might say that you are a good radio host, but… doubtful.

Ben *exasperated sigh*

Sammy Alright let’s take some callers, shall we?

Beauregard [insincerely] What fun. I love hearing from the lowlies.

Ben [muttered]Jesus— Line 3.

Sammy Good evening, you’re on King Falls AM with Howard Ford—

Ron Yeah yeah, Sammy, let me just get right down to business. First off, am I live right now?

Ben Double live gonzo, Ron!

Sammy Ron Begley, from Begley’s Bait Shop, ladies and gentlemen. What’s goin’ on, sir?

Ron Howdy boys. [angrily] But seriously this message right here is for you so-and-sos that have been comin’ down to the lake, every damn night since this tournament, lookin’ to poach on Kingsie.

Sammy Wait a second. People are attacking Kingsie?

Ron They’re tryin’.

Ben Why?

Ron I assume it’s a bunch of hillbilly heroes tryna come serve up a side of podunk justice on our majestic lake creature for the John Doe. However, it’s a damn fact now that Kingsie, who wouldn’t hurt a damn fly, had f[bleep]kall to do with that body at the Bass Tourney. But these damn perpetrators need to listen and stop comin’ on my land and into the lake with malice in mind. Lake Hatchenhaw is a place of serenity, peace and fishing, you damn fools.

Ben [fiercely] Kingsie is a King Falls treasure.

Beauregard If I believed in lake lizards living in a water puddle I call a lake—

Ron I’m sorry? Just who the f[bleep]k are you, you hoity-toity—

Beauregard Aww, the salty tongue of the smartest man in the trailer park. I do not answer to your kind.

Ron [aggressively] Son, I could get from my lake house to the top of that mountain in about 22 minutes, so you best get your gazelles on and start putting pads to pavement. You pillow bitin’ son of a b[bleep].

[click, dial tone]

Ben Kingsie is a fact, Mr. Beauregard, unlike a great deal of what you have listed in your… “book.”

Beauregard I’ll bite. What is fiction in my memoir?

Ben Sammy? Please. [“let me tear this guy apart”]

Sammy [conceding] We’re all about the facts here on King Falls AM, Ben.

Ben [rapid and eager] Chapter 2, “Smokey and the Banshee.” Hate to break it to you? but there certainly isn’t an apparition driving a “ghostly Trans-Am through town square” late night every third Sunday.

Beauregard Says you.

Sammy Says facts.

Ben Chapter 5, “Bombing Range Road Rage” you mentioned General Abilene here, saying he goes out of his way to spook people on old Bombing Range Road.

Beauregard Your point? If you have one.

Ben Indeed I do! Everyone, and I mean everyone, knows that the general is seen in Sweetzer Forest. Lights emanate from Bombing Range Road. Possible UFO activity. All of that unrelated to Abilene.

Beauregard [laughingly] Sweetzer Forest? Hah! Imbecile.

Ben [getting increasingly worked up again] And furthermore, what’s this baloney about there not being an ancient burial ground under where your family built its textile factory? And you know what? let’s just come out and say it: Why has no one in the town ever seen you in the daylight?

Beauregard We have gone on record! time and time again. There is not now nor has there… ever been an “ancient Indian burial ground.” There have been… no disturbances either. I will not tolerate any more of this tomfoolery. And furthermore! not that it’s any of your business, but as far as my complexion is concerned, I have… an aversion towards the sun! I tend to do my deals and business… in the night-time hours! You might even call me… nocturnal.

Sammy Riiight… Nocturnal. Okay. Moving forw—

Ben It’s a well known fact that your family bought that land at a steal. And it was so “reasonably priced”? because it was on the ancient burial ground of the Hatchenhaw Indians.That said, there are sightings all the time- hell, there are videos of the ghosts trying to scalp your employees during work!

Beauregard Hogwash!

Sammy Y’know, I’ve seen it with my own eyes, I think. Ben pulled up one of the YouTube videos a while back and- I’m usually skeptical but I saw—

Beauregard Graphics and special effects or what-have-you! I’ll have the two of you know I did not come on this show to be mocked. One more retort from you valley-dwellers and I’ll have you expelled from the city limits. Mayor Grisham is a close ally, so tread trepidously.[sic]

Ben Bring it.

Sammy Whoa whoa whoa! everybody, let’s just relax. This is a conversation, Mr. Beauregard. Ben here is our station’s foremost expert on King Falls history, sir. It just seems like maybe the facts and your book’s stories aren’t exactly jiving.

Beauregard Let me be quite clear, this is my last warning. If you speak ill of myself or my family one more time, I will crush you. Your livelihoods depend on this fact.

Sammy Come on.

Ben [sarcastically] Oh I’d never speak badly about your family. They had the good sense to die before you turned into this joke, bringing down their hard earned reputations.

Beauregard Fire this insolent manchild at once. He’s nothing more than Channel 13 leftovers.

Ben I… B-but I—

Beauregard Aww. Did I touch a nerve Benny? Dispute this fact to all five of your listeners. Channel 13- a respectable organization- rejected you not one, not two, but three separate occasions. You working class cretin.

Sammy [awkwardly] I think maybe we should wrap this up.

Ben No wait. Sammy, I’m gonna use a lifeline. Phone a friend?[1] and ruin this douche.

[phone ringing]

Emily [sleepily] Hello?

Ben Hi! Emily.

Emily [suddenly more awake] Ben? Everything okay? It’s pretty late.

Ben It’s- it’s okay now that you’re on the phone. *shy, awkward laugh* You’re live by the way.

Emily *giggles* Ben! Hi Sammy! Hi King Falls.

Ben The lovely and knowledgeable King Falls Librarian, Emily Potter, everyone.

Beauregard The library? They can’t even keep my memoir in stock. What do you think about that?

Sammy [quietly] I don’t think that’s how e-books work.

Ben Hey! Miss Potter is trying to speak, Beauregard? Emily, can you… shed some light on a certain topic for everyone out there listening? All five of them.

Emily Yes. Anything for you and Sammy.

Ben We have… Howard Beauregard on the phone.

Emily Funny enough, I just finished your book, Mr. Beauregard. “King of King Falls”?

Beauregard Alas, finally someone with good sense and better taste.

Ben I’m glad you brought that up, Emily! Can you fill the listeners in on the history of the King Falls Library- which, Mr. Beauregard discusses in chapter 15 of his e-book. Did you- find any… discrepancies?

Emily Sure, Ben. Well, Mr. Beauregard mentioned the library a few times in various stories. However, he stated that during World War Two? the secret apartment was built inside the library. However, it actually—

Beauregard Ahhh! The Hitler Suite! Yes, it was commissioned by Germany, October 7th, 1944 as a possible hiding place for their infamous leader, Theodore Waldorf von Hitler.

Sammy Adolf?

Beauregard Gesundheit.

Emily I’m sorry but the apartment was actually built when the library was, in 1912. I’ve seen the blueprints and everything. Funny story, it was actually used as—

Ben Y’know, Emily, maybe we should hear him out on this one. I can see a connection forming here.

Emily *giggles* Oh Ben, you’re so funny.

Beauregard Miss Potter.

Emily Yes, Mr. Beauregard?

Beauregard You are a simpleton of the highest order, and should not be tasked to watch over a magazine, much less a palace of learning such as the King Falls Library.

Ben You son of a b[bleep]!

Sammy Ben! It’s not worth it, calm down, he’s just an old nutcase!

Beauregard Of course the two of you are thick as thieves. I should have known I was in for an ambush in this rrramshackle radio station. You two lowlifes should be honored by my presence!

Sammy Beauregard, please take yourself and go honor the dust in your mansion. We’re done here.

Beauregard How dare you. Turn this radio broadcast off this instant! I demand it. I will not be treated like this!

Ben Go.

Sammy [aggressively] If you don’t leave, Mr. Beauregard, we’re gonna be forced to call the sheriff’s department

Beauregard Well there’s no need to wake my personal friend, Sheriff Gunderson, from his slumber. He’d only throw the book at you rapscallions anyway.

Ben Your e-book isn’t worth the paper it’s not printed on.

Beauregard [sound of a chair being shoved back] [voice getting quieter as he storms off] You merry fools! I can buy this radio station! Just to fire you! Mark my words!

Sammy We’ll be waiting on those pink slips! but until then, get out of our studio, please and thank you. Well then.

Ben I hate to say “I told you so” but…

Sammy I’m sorry Ben, *sad sigh* [increasingly mumbled] y’know I was just trying to understand this stuff a little bit better.

Ben [sincerely] I appreciate that.

Sammy Folks, we’re just going to take a quick break here to get back on track but let—

Emily [softly] Hey, Ben?

Ben Hello?

Sammy Oh! Line one is still engaged.

Emily Thank you for sticking up for me, Ben.

Ben Ah! I mean, any time! I mean you, uh, you're- you’re… welcome?

Sammy Ladies and gents, Ben has just invented a new shade of red from all this blushing. You know what? tweet me @KingFallsAM right now and I’m gonna post a pic.

Ben [hissed] Shut up, Sammy.

Emily Hey, Ben?

Ben Yeah? I’m here.

Emily I was just wondering… Well, I’ve- I’ve been wondering, um, maybe, uh- And you can- say no! if you want. But, would you, possibly, like to- go out? uh, maybe to Rose’s Diner this weekend?

Ben [voice cracking slightly] Yes. I mean… Sure- maybe- we could do, something, like that! I’ll- I’ll, I mean I do. I need to… *clears throat* check my schedule. But um—

Emily Okay then! I’ll- talk to you later! Goodnight, Ben.

[click, dial tone]

Sammy Well I think—

Ben Don’t. [whispering] Let me savor this.

Sammy *chuckles* We’ll be right back after a word from our sponsors, kids.

[KFAM outro]

[CREDITS]

References

[1] Phone a friend- probably well known, but this is a reference to the show “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire”

#king falls am #king falls #kfam #sammy stevens #ben arnold #kfam transcripts #kfam ep6 #howard ford beauregard iii #hfb3 #Ron Begley #emily potter

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madcapmoon · 5 years

Text

MacKayes are woven together, through punk rock and beyond

Alec, Amanda and Ian MacKaye, exclusive 2019 photo by Allen Beland.

By Andy

Sunday, March 10, 2019 With dad taking his spot, front and center at the stove, the MacKaye family dinner is a vital Sunday fixture in their schedules in the Washington, DC, area. Whipping up vegan delights, the elder MacKaye is a culinary threat as he grips onto cooking utensils instead of a microphone or guitar that his children -- Ian, Alec and Amanda -- have wielded during their time on stage with their various bands over the years. This is where the MacKayes thrive, as a family, more than they do anywhere else in their lives. "For us, the MacKayes, we all still hang out with each other," said Amanda, 49. "It wasn't temporary. A lot of people when they get to this stage of life, their siblings are far-flung or they don't really get along with their siblings or whatever. A lot of this is just part of who our family is, we have Sunday dinners, we're together. We have one sister who lives on the other side of the country, but we're all still connected. And we're all still into whatever the other one is doing. We're all still pretty interested in each other." Currently, Ian, Alec, older sister Katie and their dad Bill all live in DC; Amanda (the youngest) resides in nearby Arlington, Va.; and another older sister Susannah calls Oakland, Ca., her home. Ian said it was a treat to have Susannah back on her home turf of DC this weekend to celebrate her birthday. Ian, 56, noted that his parents were only children, so the MacKaye siblings grew up without any uncles, aunts or cousins. They learned from and inspired each other along their life paths, which eventually led them toward punk rock and embracing the idea of residing outside of the mainstream. He laughs about the MacKayes being a weird family that way. They're close-knit to the core. "We are the MacKayes. Especially our mom, she really emphasized, we are a family," said Ian of mother Ginger, who passed away in 2004. "We're fifth-generation Washingtonians. My mom was born here and it was just important to her this idea of being Washingtonian. I think we're just committed to each other. We're a family and there's times where people get steamed with each other about something, but we never have like the awkward Thanksgiving nonsense. But partially because we see each other almost every Sunday for dinner anyway." If the conversation roams toward music at the family meal, Katie can certainly chime in about taking Ian to his first concert, featuring Queen and Thin Lizzy in 1977. Ian noted that Katie always possessed cool records and was ahead of her peers in the music game. She wasn't a punk, but was a proponent of going to see live music of all sorts, including arena-rock bands and tunes with a faster bent like witnessing the Ramones with Ian in 1979. Katie still attends gigs, and aside from venturing into the music scene, she's voyaged across the country twice on her bike. She's a badass, Ian said. Alec, 52, remembers Katie toting a clutch of records back from England around Christmastime in the late '70s. Generation X, Eddie and the Hot Rods, the Damned and a 10-inch sampler featuring X-Ray Spex were soon blasting throughout the household. "The moment I heard it, I was just clocked in. It was the best thing I had ever heard," Alec said. Ian was a self-proclaimed Ted Nugent "Double Live Gonzo" devotee before latching onto punk music a few months before Alec in '79 or so, thanks to his high school friend Bert Queiroz lending him some Sex Pistols, Damned, Clash and Tuff Darts records. "I had to really get in on it and think about it 'cause I was so puzzled by the whole thing. But I gotta say, it clicked and I was like, 'Oh, I'm in, I love this stuff,'" said Ian, who remembers debating with kids in high school about whether punk sucked or not. When Ian cut his hair, he recalls rocker Alec and his friends teasing him about the new look. Soon, Ian and Alec would be a punk duo, delving into the music together, attending gigs in DC and performing in bands like the Slinkees, Teen Idles, Untouchables, Faith, Minor Threat and more. Further down the road, Embrace, Ignition and Fugazi would continue to put the MacKayes and DC on the map.

Little sister Amanda got in on the punk action as well. It wasn't just the music that spoke to the MacKayes, it was the surroundings that punk offered and a way for them to click with family and the other like-minded people they encountered. Amanda's entrance onto the scene occurred at age 9 and was captured in a classic photo of her and Katie watching the Slinkees play a garage gig in August of '79. Amanda laughs when the photo, featured in the book "Dance of Days," is mentioned. "It was like a lightning-bolt moment for me. The funniest part of the memory for me is that Kim Kane of Slickee Boys, he was just so kind, he is so bright in my memory of that show. It's just interesting to think about the fact that of all the things to remember about that moment, it is someone I wasn't even related to," she said.

A young Amanda, center, with Katie behind. From "Dance of Days."

While she doesn't remember any of the music, "I remember, and this is probably sort of like the core of my feeling about punk, is I just remember the freedom and the intimacy. I think I was wearing a Johnny Rotten button, but it was a homemade one that Ian or Alec had made. You're in a garage, there's not like a real stage, just running around with people I didn't know who were happy to see me. We're all just there and there's like this joy, which is what I think of, that sensation is what sort of propels me in every aspect of my personal definition of punk. It's wrapped with this joy." For Alec, dipping his boots into shows in the punk realm marked both an advancement into his formative teen years and a punch of chaos into his musical tastes. "I think I liked the intimacy of it all. Before that, I had just been to see arena rock, some of the huge bands like Queen and Santana and large-scale things. Then going to smaller shows was really the ticket for me -- it still is," said Alec, who mentioned attending small shows by Bad Brains, Slickee Boys, Tru Fax and the Insaniacs at first, and bigger ones with the Cramps, Damned, Clash and B-52s. The energy of those shows was infectious. "I really was digging on that abandon, you could really lose yourself in the music. Everybody else was on the same page and it didn't seem like it was very well-controlled and that part was super exciting for me. That was what I was responding to right away," Alec said. Alec began his punk transformation on the clothes and hair front in middle school and said that people thought he was a nerd or a freak. At age 14 and now in high school, he joined his first band, the Untouchables. He's still singing today with Hammered Hulls and Ian plans on taking them into the studio soon. On initially getting up on stage, shouting out lyrics and bouncing his body all over the place, Alec said, "I was pretty introverted before that, and I still am in a certain sense, but I also became an extrovert by being in a band and not being afraid to be standing on stage and doing things that a lot of people would not be up for. I was up for it, 'cause it gave me license to act out in ways that were just fun. So that was a big change for me. With punk rock, it felt like I had a new persona and had a little bit more vigor." Ian's mind was blown when he saw the Cramps play in DC in '79. It was his first punk show and was a seminal event for the area's punks. "I thought it was incredible. The first show was the Cramps and that was complete chaos and really, really exciting and so dangerous feeling and terrifying," he said. "At that point, I had seen Queen twice and Nugent three times, and they were all arena shows, so my relationship with music was really, when you saw bands, you saw them in that kind of setting, and bands were, as you know, unapproachable in that setting." The Cramps show in a hall at Georgetown University was wall-to-wall packed with punks. And it was nuts. "(The Cramps) were so in your face and everybody was really losing their shit. People were jumping up and down," said Ian, noting that as the sold-out show progressed, the long tables that people were standing on soon began to break and he could see "human formations descending into the crowd." People also were seen squeezing through transom-style windows to get into the fray. "Punk was wide open, and I just wanted to get in," Ian said. "It was instantly just on, so I felt it was great. Super engaging. It was like you're walking down the street and you find a box, and you go, 'That's an interesting box,' and you bring it home and when you open it, it's a box of infinite learning -- and I'm still learning." "Some people in the world think of life in terms of phases and then there's other people who think of it in terms of flights of stairs, and that's I think where we're at," he added about the MacKayes. Ian's still got the Evens, a two-piece with him on guitar/vocals and his spouse Amy Farina on drums, in the back pocket but they haven't been active lately. Another band with Joe Lally on bass, Farina on drums and Ian on guitar/vocals is nameless at this point and they have a record in the bag and awaiting a future release. They played two gigs last November, but the band is on hold until Lally returns from tour with the Messthetics, which also features former Fugazi drummer Brendan Canty.

Ignition

For Ian, after the seeing the Cramps, he felt that what they were doing was pretty straight forward and so he got the Slinkees happening. "I wanna be in a band, I just wanted to play music. I wasn't then and I still don't think of it as a career. To me, I just wanna play music. I just do the do, I just work with what's in front of me," he said. That Slinkees garage show, with his family members in the crowd, kicked things off and the MacKayes have never stopped. The punk ethos still rings true. The idle teens are adults with children and they continue to make an impact in the music world and on the people they encounter in their day-to-day lives. Their family is your family. We're all in it together. "I honestly wasn't thinking about sort of the juxtaposition of me as an audience member or me as a performer because that's kind of the point, they're not that different. We're making a show together, that's what we're doing, the audience and the bands," Ian said. Alec knew he would be a punk-rock lifer from the get-go. "I gotta say that there never was even a doubt in my mind. I have known people in my life that, 'that's a closed chapter,' they move on, they grow up, they put away childish things or whatever. I think when I got into punk rock, in my head it was a forever thing that I would be 120, if I ever live that long, and still be doing it, on some level, I just didn't know how," he said. "So that's been a thing that as you go through life, navigating how you can still relate to it and how it can work in your life. It just stayed with me, I never stopped listening to music and I like the energy." "It's a feeling and it's real as they say, as I said in a previous band," laughed Alec, who works full time in an art museum and thrives on learning about history, philosophy and cultural things. He also gets to travel the world, and recently attended a hardcore show in Tokyo while his art colleagues took in different sights. Some things never change, right? Keep your key in the ignition of life and go wherever the fuck you want. "It's astonishing to me that when I was in Tokyo, there was a flier for a Faith/Void re-release. To me, it's been almost 40 years of doing stuff and it just keeps going," Alec continued. On a recent day, I walked into a Barnes & Noble and saw a Minor Threat record with the first two EPs at the front of the M rack. Alec sits on the cover with his head buried in his arms. It's an iconic image that I first witnessed when I purchased the original red 7-inch at Zed Records in Long Beach, Ca., in 1981.

Alec said that someone recently showed him a photo of that image emblazoned on someone's back as a tattoo. "That particular image is not me, it's anybody. That's the one that the everyman punker can relate to. Yes, it's a trip to see that everywhere still. It's really got legs," he said. Like a lot of us who got into the punk scene back in the early '80s, those early MacKaye bands had a major impact on Amanda. As a youngster, she had those tunes at her fingertips, literally right when the tapes came hot from the studio into their home music deck. Lives were changed when the play button was pressed. "They were my older brothers and I already looked up to them and tried to do whatever they were doing. I found the whole thing instantly exciting. The energy of it was just hypnotic for me and I immediately sort of gravitated to it," Amanda said. "My parents played a lot of records and my mom played piano. There was other music, we didn't really listen to mainstream radio that much. I definitely was aware of 'mainstream rock,' but really at a very early age, like 10-11-12, I was in a conflict with my peer group because I was listening to Minor Threat and they were listening to (mainstream music)." "Some of the general-population music stuck with me, but mostly I was sort of in an instant weirdo zone because when I was trying to get people to listen to my Walkman, it was Minor Threat and they were like, 'Eww. Why?'" she added with a laugh. "Some of the 'why?' for me was that I was totally awestruck by my brothers and I was super proud of them and wanted to tell everyone like, 'No. No. No. I'm related to these people.'" Like family members do, the self-proclaimed tomboy gravitated toward whatever Ian and Alec got their hands on: football and baseball cards and muscle-car Hot Wheels because Alec made models of those vehicles. Amanda, who these days works at a public high school with her husband, said that as a child, "I think that I always sort of felt like outside the circle. I felt like our family just didn't look like everybody else's family, we did things that were a little bit different." She tried to fit in with the other kids by playing soccer in elementary school, but she was admittedly a terrible player and hated the experience. Kids were mean to boot. "I couldn't wrap myself into it and maybe that added into why when I saw this group of people in this garage, who were like, 'Oh, hey, you're outside just like us,' maybe that's why it felt so good," she said of the Slinkees gig. "I'm still attracted to that warm embrace that punk rock gave to me as a young child. I love it when I find bands that are just warm from the get-go. You meet them and you feel like you've known them for a long time, or they play music and you just feel like, 'Oh, yeah, this feels right.'" Following in her brothers' footsteps, she formed her first band, The Headaches, as a pre-teen and they performed in living rooms. A quick insight into the experience was their theme song was ripped off from The Monkees and they had personas (she was the tough, cool person who looked like one of the Blues Brothers). Her punk path became more serious when she formed Sammich Records in high school and released an EP by her friends Lunchmeat and Mission Impossible and then many more records to follow. Ian helped her configure the label since he had experience on his side with Dischord rolling strong (Amanda and Alec also worked at Dischord for a awhile). At age 20, she began singing in Desiderata and later performed with the Routineers.

For the last 14 years, Amanda has booked shows at Fort Reno Park in DC, the spot where the MacKayes saw some of their first concerts. She likens the free outdoor shows to an incubator for bands to give it a shot and play out. She's received feedback that people are thankful their kids can see them play and see music and be able to expose their kids to something that drives them forward, she said. "I jokingly refer to it all the time as a labor of love. But it's actually much more serious for me than that, because at this point in the music industry or however you want to discuss it, the opportunity for people under the age of 21 or even 18 to see live music un-influenced by anything else is very rare in this area. It's like a dinosaur. I feel extremely emotionally bound to do this because that's what helps me sort of dial in on what was important to me," said Amanda, adding that most venues -- aside from art spaces -- serve alcohol and have video or pinball games that infringe on the true musicality of the shows. "It's really really hard to find a pure experience where you're seeing music and that's all you're seeing. You're with your friends or your family or just with like-minded people. So, I'm pretty impassioned about keeping it going," she said of the Fort Reno gigs,

Heaps of music and crucial life lessons that they gained through the punk scene remains with the MacKayes. As they gather for the Sunday meals and for Susannah's birthday, the conversations are sure to be lively and insightful. The MacKaye children of today will have enough of their parents' stories and anecdotes to last them a lifetime, and they'll feed off those discussions and create vital paths of their own and experiences to pass on as well. "I suppose it's what I didn't learn that's kept me free," Alec said. "I'm pretty resistant to being led away from the things that I cherish. I didn't learn to grow up and be completely conventional, even though there's been plenty of peer pressure from adults. It's a cliche, but it's true, that you really need to stay true to the things that serve you best, and I've continued to do that." "I have two daughters and that's another moment where I just didn't know what that was gonna be like, being a father," Alec added. "I wasn't really afraid of being a father, I was afraid of being a member of the village. You know, they always say it takes a village to raise a child... to me, the village just fucking bothers me and they should just go raise their own children and stay outta my face. That was something I was worried about, but I found out there's other villagers that feel the same way, so that was a relief. I can be a father that isn't like the ones that you think are perfect, and that's OK, and my kids love that about me." For Amanda, she forever enjoys watching Ian and Alec perform and says it's a cool feeling to be still walking her own path. "At this point in my life, it doesn't hurt to be different. When I was 12, it was really complicated and painful for me that all the kids in the neighborhood thought I was weird and I didn't really have any friends, except for Josh who introduced me to Joan Jett, which was incredible 'cause it's still very prominent for me," said Amanda, who's still in touch with Josh. She's thankful for remaining true to herself since the day she stepped into the garage with Katie to watch Ian and the Slinkees. The high school she works at has a staff spirit week on tap and they're asking people to dress like they did in high school. Amanda and I laugh: "Same." (Except that she doesn't wear leather anymore, so that jacket of yore won't make an appearance.) Alec jokes that Ian's the ultimate storyteller of the family. He remembers occurrences with exact dates and years and relays the information in great detail, with verve and a dose of humor. Through the punk scene, the trio of MacKayes -- Ian, Alec and Amanda -- have woven themselves together. "In the '70s and the early '80s, there was a lot of chaos in our family, with our parents, and I think that punk probably was something that was very anchoring for us," Ian said. "And I think the three of us especially, really that was an important connection. It was something that we could feel committed to and it was a safe thing."

There’s Something Hard In There Blog

#fugazi #ian mackaye #alec mackaye #amanda mackaye

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polyrolemodels · 6 years

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JoEllen Notte

1. How long have you been polyamorous or been practicing polyamory?

As far as I am concerned I’ve been polyamorous since leaving my marriage in 2011. In the aftermath of my divorce I had some very strong feelings about how I did and did not want to live the rest of my life and among them was the belief that I never wanted to be monogamous again. That said my first “official” (in my head at least, I didn’t get a toaster or anything) poly relationship started in May 2013, and then my first successful poly relationship began in December of that same year.

2. What does your relationship dynamic look like?

I have long said that I am like Gonzo from the Muppet show, I’m a “whatever”. That said, my dynamic most closely resembles solo poly. I have 3 partners who I love dearly and who all live nowhere near me (seriously, one just moved to a place about an hour away and it’s the closest I’ve lived to anyone I’ve been involved with in 5 years). For an anxious introvert, this is an amazing set up because it gives me space when I need it and requires way less schedule worry and potential over-extension. It also keeps all of my relationships separate. I don’t really do the “let’s all meet each other’s partners, we’re a happy polycule” thing. I appreciate and respect my partner’s partners and we all ask after each other (I spent a bunch of time looking out for available apartments for a partner’s partner recently) but for me, it’s really about my relationship with each partner, I don’t need to hang out with everyone else.

I try to avoid hierarchy because I hate the idea of ranking people I love but it is undeniable that I have an anchor partner (I see him about every two weeks, he spends christmas with my family, he’s my dog’s “dad”). Additionally, I have a partner who I refer to as my “boyfriend” who I see 2-3 times a year and email with multiple times a week and he has his own anchor partner. I also have a friend with benefits situation that has been going on for over 6 years (so maybe that’s my first poly relationship?) with a man who has his own wife and girlfriend.

3. What aspect of polyamory do you excel at?

The talking. Seriously, being someone who talks about feelings and teaches people about concepts for a living makes all the talking that comes with poly a bit easier than I’d imagine it is for the typical person.

4. What aspect of polyamory do you struggle with?

Oh, there are a couple of things here.

On a grand scale, I struggle with the degree to which the world has no context for heterosexual female agency and thus often portrays non monogamy as something men revel in and women tolerate so they don’t lose their man. From the descriptions of famous people suspected of nonmonogamy to the stock photos that run with nearly every article on it (If I see that one with the guy surreptitiously holding hands with one woman behind the back of another woman with her arm around him, one more time I’m going to scream.), the message tends to be “this is something that exists for male pleasure”.

Additionally I have coped with a lot of folks making assumptions about my sexuality: men who assume I am the key to the FFM threesome they’ve always wanted, people who imply I MUST be bisexual because why else would I want my relationships open, and endless people tossing the “I read an article that said no women are really hetero!” line at me. I hate complaining about this because I see my actual bisexual friends struggle so hard with the erasure of their identities but, seriously, since becoming nonmonogamous I have way too many people argue with me about my orientation.

Within my own relationships my struggles are largely entwined with my physical/mental health issues. So, I’m often not great at staying in touch, especially when the anxiety and depression kick in and that can leave my partners feeling ignored. Additionally, I get worried that my limitations (I have terribly low social stamina and often need mellow, quiet time) make me “not fun”.

5. How do you address and/or overcome those struggles?

The grand scale ones kind of fit in with the mission of my website: making sure everyone knows that they get to be who they are so I just try to channel my anger about it into making sure I never write things that tell people who or what they are is wrong or doesn’t exist. It’s actually part of what has shaped me as a writer.

As for within my relationships, so much talking. I try to be as honest as I can about what’s going on with me. That includes my health stuff and my insecurities.

6. In terms of risk-aware/safer sex, what do you and your partners do to protect one another?

Testing and barrier methods mostly. I also had a tubal ligation in 2016 so pregnancy is not a concern anymore. (Fun fact: my partner was with me when I went in for the procedure and every doctor we saw mentioned that vasectomies are significantly less invasive. We told each one “we’re nonmonogamous so we are doing both” and every single doctor replied with something along the lines of “cool, that’s smart!” because, Portland.

7. What is the worst mistake you've ever made in your polyamorous history and how did you rebound from that?

In that first relationship in 2013 I didn’t take the time to determine whether the other person and I meant the same thing when we said nonmonogamous. This resulted in my (very jealous) partner freaking out whenever I tried to see anyone else (each time insisting it was “just that specific guy” he objected to) and constantly pushing me to attend sex clubs so he could “look over and sex you with someone else” (so far from what I wanted). For me non- monogamy looks like everyone having their own relationships and no ownership of anyone while for this man non-monogamy looked like everyone knowing I was “his” and him “allowing” me outside activity that he approved of/was in the room for.

When I got out of that relationship I quite literally rebounded into my relationship with my now-partner of almost 5 years. When I met him I laid out what non monogamy meant to me and found he was on the same page. Basically, I learned the valuable lesson of not assuming everyone who wasn’t monogamous was okay with the same things. It seems obvious now but back then I was just thrilled to find other nonmonogamous people.

(Bonus: Do you have any groups, projects, websites, blogs, etc. that you are involved with that you would like to promote?)

I am working on my first book, The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations We Aren’t Having and have a Patreon where supporters can read weekly book previews and help shape the book by participating in monthly polls.

—

Support Inclusive Polyamorous Representation at https://www.patreon.com/PolyRoleModels

#polyamory #author #Sex education #polyamorous

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Tom Holland Says Spider-Man: No Way Home Introduces ‘Raimi Camera’ Style in MCU

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Stars Tom Holland, Zendaya, and Jacob Batalon grew up with the Sam Raimi Spider-Man movies. How could they not? Each actor was at the perfect age of either five or six when the 2002 Spidey movie came out—a game-changing event which featured Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker and Willem Dafoe as the Green Goblin. And the future No Way Home actors were only a few years older when Alfred Molina made his debut as the dastardly Doctor Octopus in Spider-Man 2 in 2004.

Now, in a still impossible-seeming trick of blockbuster origami, the trio of leads who came of age while leading their own Spider-Man trilogy in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) are getting to work opposite Dafoe and Molina in Spider-Man: No Way Home (as confirmed via multiple trailers and other recent promos). And in their own way, they’re getting to go back in time while honoring what the Raimi films did.

Holland says as much when we talk with him about Spider-Man: No Way Home and returning to Raimi’s legacy in 2021. As the Peter Parker of today tells it, director Jon Watts even emulated some of Raimi’s signature camera tricks, bringing a taste of that bonkers filmmaking which turned the original Spider-Man trilogy into a visually wild and innovative rollercoaster.

“I think what Jon Watts did really well is [what] he would call the ‘Raimi Cam,’” Holland explains. “And he would do these really quick, smash push-ins on characters, which is something Sam Raimi, I suppose, was quite famous for. So Jon definitely paid respect to the previous two movies.”

Indeed, a genre director by trade before transitioning to Hollywood dramas and (eventually) superhero blockbusters, Raimi cut his teeth on groovy horror flicks like the Evil Dead trilogy. What those movies lacked in budget they made up for with copious amounts of style, drawing attention to canted camera angles and aggressive, swooshing movements. Raimi brought the same gonzo energy to many a Spider-Man scene in the 2000s too. The sequence where Molina’s Doc Ock slaughters a room full of surgeons is a particular showcase for gleeful cinematic carnage being unleashed in the typically squeaky clean realm of superhero movies.

Holland also tells us that working with Molina and others from the original movies presented a cool opportunity to compare notes about how things were done differently back then versus how Marvel Studios produces superhero movies now.

“There was quite a lot of [comparing notes], actually,” says Holland, “especially with Alfred, because I think back in the day his arms were puppeteered, and obviously in this film they’re completely CG. So I think it gave him a lot more creative freedom in the way that you can move around the set. It was really nice to see someone kind of adapt to the new way of filmmaking.”

Zendaya also basks in the thrill of working with Molina and Dafoe as colleagues after growing up with them in these very roles.

“It was crazy,” Zendaya says. “Unreal. In fact, there were days when Tom would ask us to come in, just as emotional support, because it’s a crazy thing.”

Holland likewise teases that he would have Zendaya and Batalon come to set on days they weren’t even in the scene, especially for a major sequence he’s not at liberty to describe.

“That one day that we can’t talk about,” Holland begins with a laugh, “when you guys came in. It made me feel very comfortable. It was like you were my cheerleaders.”

But why can he not talk about it? All Batalon says is “there were a lot of heavy-hitters for sure.”

Fans could presumably have fun speculating about what could be such an amazing moment that Holland would need moral support on-set. Or they can just wait patiently since Spider-Man: No Way Home is almost here, with the movie arriving in theaters on Friday, Dec. 17.

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The post Tom Holland Says Spider-Man: No Way Home Introduces ‘Raimi Camera’ Style in MCU appeared first on Den of Geek.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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askauradonprep · 7 years

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✒ I can't copy and paste on mobile but the symbol looks like a pen so here's a pen. (Now do I show self restraint or say screw it and beg you to do all of the poly pirates? Hhhhmmmmmm)

Ooooh, I like you. I love writing the poly pirate crew and I am always so happy when someone falls down the rabbit hole. This is like 19 people so...have fun. :P

1. Gabe is just....god he is constantly flirting with the girls. He’s like a mix between Harry’s style of flirting and just being a yappy, earnest puppy. He just wants the girls to be happy and flatter them. So, because of that, it can sometimes surprise people that he’s equally as admiring of the guys on the crew, albeit with the caveat that he also tries to be LIKE them as well as wanting to dat them. Case in point, his reaction to eyeliner being dismissed as ‘something for girls’ was ‘Wrong. Harry wears it and Harry’s really cool so it’s also for cool guys.’ Tl;dr? Gabe’s a hopelessly flattering nerd.

2. Desiree was super super happy whenever the girls have to partner up because she almost always gets to room with Uma. In her opinion, there is no better meaning to the phrase ‘good company’.

3. Zeke slowly gets less awkward around them as they spend more time with him and soon enough everybody’s groaning at his terrible jokes (except Gabe) and they are so done. He says they just don’t get it. They get it - you’re just a nerd. :P

4. Raphael’s hobbies like driving and working on wires or communications and his post on one of the crow’s nests are always rather solitary, so it gets assumed by a lot of people he’s the ‘weak link’ or the ‘lone wolf’. It’s their mistake - he’ll mow you down flat if he thinks you doubt his loyalty to the crew. He just appreciates his space and assumes the others do too.

5. Gonzo is always getting some chuckle on the crew playing with his braids - now if they weren’t crew, he’d have WORDS for them. Leave his hair alone! He’s long since let his crew do that - I mean, Desiree yanks them all the time for her own amusement or to get his attention and Uma likes to ruffle them. It’s a good thing the crew are cute some days, he’ll tell you that.

6. Yamato is perpetually frustrated by his reckless dates when he has to deal with it but he has a lot of advice and he’s been known to smile at them when he’s NOT the one dealing with them. And, y’know, he’s on Team Make Sure These Idiots Don’t Die so you know he cares about them, even if he’s sitting back grumbling at other times. GET OFF HIS LAWN. He’s not old, just a deadpan grouch.

7. Jonas is the one who fixes and makes new clothes. He likes making stuff look good actually. Who’s gonna pick a fight with him about gender roles? Certainly not, YOU, are ya, buddy? (Not when you’ll have 18 angry pirate dates you won’t).

8. Uma is kinda like Morwenna actually - she likes to dance a little but she also likes to sit and watch her crew have their fun. Sometimes she enjoys that more than anything else.

9. Morwenna is actually surprisingly flirty, especially if she’s had a drink or two. Also? Best wing woman.

10. Lex has learned everything he knows about friendship and romance from having the crew. That’s both adorable and horrifying. He’s always got to reset after returning from his ‘no emotions allowed’ family. It’s the pits but he manages.

11. Micah can pretty much only be talked down from self destructive habits by the crew.

12. Vince doesn’t really like fishing with the others - that’s his thing that he does to relax. He’s let Harry once or twice though. He DOES like collabing with the other ‘nerds’ on their more scientific interests though.

13. Gil is perpetually trying to be helpful. He has the worst habit of picking the wrong button to step on, like the mean names Mal used to call Uma or Desiree’s height. He has the record for most time outs.

14. Zhao’s a workaholic - not in the ‘no fun’ sense but he HATES being unoccupied. He needs a thing to do. Sometimes the crew can channel that into having some fun but sometimes they come home and he’s done their chores or job on the ship because DARN IT you guys left him alone with his thoughts.

15. Bonny is always skulking around, climbing, knocking things over, or doing gymnastics like cartwheels or walking on her hands. She’s like a super flexible, super impulsive, super skittish cat. Wait for her to come to you though (and if the rest of the crew ever treats her like a cat, it’s gone too far - she’ll bite them).

16. Malachi is a very protective boyfriend. He’s not one to hold a grudge - he’ll get revenge or let it go. But if you mess with his crew, you’re going on the revenge list. Firmly.

17. Drey sometimes has a hard time getting to sleep and she’ll walk around under the deck looking at rooms and dorms and remind herself she’s here. She’s not with Sykes gang anymore.

18. Rosita is SO INTO her boyfriends oh god, do not get her started. Actually, don’t get her started on her girls either. She’s very affectionate and she dares you to make something out of it (which would normally be a bet you shouldn’t make on the Isle but they’re vicious and she’s usually only seeing them on the ship anyways). She and Harry are the WORST dear god it’s only a matter of time before they make out whenever they get to talking. It’s a good relief from the skeevs she occasionally has to charm information or resources from (like money or other objects). She’s never shown them interests but well, they can imagine things that aren’t there.

19. The crew are some of the few on the Isle who aren’t afraid of Harry. Both because he likes them and because they know that. They definitely think he’s really cool and, admittedly, he usually has a decent idea for something fun.

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duhragonball · 5 years

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Dragon Ball Z 209

This is the “Fuck All Cameras” Episode, which is kind of awesome, but also a little outdated in this age of smartphones. If Piccolo blew up my phone just to keep me from taking pictures of his friends, that’d be really inconvenient. My boarding pass for the flight home would be on there, for example.

We open on this dude, who’s just doing martial arts stunts for a crowd of bystanders. Who is he? We never find out, but he does look pretty cool.

This somewhat less cool-looking dude shoves him out of the way before we can learn anything about him, and this reporter lady starts interviewing him instead.

So it’s the 25th Tenkaichi Budokai and Videl’s here to enter, but she also specifically wants to fight Gohan, so she’s trying to find him. Instead she runs into Sharpner, who for some reason is now madly in love with Videl. I mean, I don’t blame him, Videl’s awesome and all, but we saw none of this in Sharpner’s previous appearances. He sat next to her in school, so I guess he was trying to get close to her until he was ready to shoot his shot. But now he’s wearing a suit and offering her a bouquet of roses, so this seems awfully sudden.

Basically, Sharpner’s throwing out everything he knows to try, and he can’t even get Videl to turn around. This is downright painful to watch. Some dork probably told Sharpner to “just tell her how you feel” and here he is doing it and he’s going down in flames. You can make the argument that his approach here is kind of crappy, but it doesn’t matter, because he doesn’t have a chance here and he never did. Videl didn’t cut her hair for Sharpner, she did it for the boy who taught her how to fly. There’s no topping that, and he doesn’t even know that’s what he’s up against.

I don’t know, I feel for Sharpner here. That feels weird to say, because he’s presented as kind of a dick, but he’s not that bad. Yeah, he tried to pick on Gohan a little, but by the end of the day he respected him for being tougher than he looks. Vegeta beat the shit out of Gohan multiple times, and everyone loves that guy. I’m not saying Sharpner “deserves” Videl or anything, but it sucks that he clearly worked up a lot of courage to make this big play for her affections, only to find out that he’s a bit player in someone else’s story.

Likewise, this little girl overheard Sharpner’s invitation to go to some stand that sells fruit juice, and she’s smitten. Sharpner’s the handsomest guy she’s ever seen, he’s really old, like maybe ten. He’s offering to buy her juice and she’s taking him up on it. Apple, please! But alas, he wasn’t talking to her, and she’s just a bit player in his story, just as he is for Videl’s.

This is why I don’t respect people who just blow this story off as being nothing but guys screaming at each other for ten episodes. Yes, it has that. It makes time for that. But there’s also a lot of exploration of the human condition in this thing. You just have to be willing to root around for it.

Now, let’s hurry up so we can talk about the Punching Machine.

This shot of Goku strolling through the tournament grounds is awesome. He’s got his best friend and his grown-up son with him, it’s just really great to see. The funny thing is, Goku’s only been absent from the show for a handful of episodes, but it still feels like it’s been seven whole years. It’s just awesome to have him back, and in his old stomping grounds, ready to kick some ass and hug some children.

Trunks isn’t sure what to make of Goku, but he thinks his own dad is stronger. Goten replies that Gohan always said Goku was the “strongest in the universe”, which is weird because Gohan was demonstrably stronger than Goku before he died. Modesty’s one thing, but it’s strange that Gohan would just flat-out say something like that. I mean, Gohan honestly had no idea that he had surpassed Goku until Goku asked him to fight Cell. Could it be that he still can’t accept his superiority on that day, even after all this time?

Goku can’t get used to seeing Krillin with hair. He asks why he stopped shaving it, and 18 walks by. Well, it’s not because 18 likes the hair better. She shaved his head in Res F and seemed to like him better that way, or at least that was my take.

Then Goku finally notices 18 and he’s all “What’s she doing here?”

And Krillin’s like “Me, Goku. She’s doing me here. That’s your answer.”

Goku’s all “How’d you have a baby with a robot?” and Krillin has to explain that 18 was never a robot, just a human with cybernetic enhancements. This is a polite way of saying 18 has reproductive organs. This feels like a bit of a retcon to me. 19 and 20 had entire chunks of their bodies chopped off, and they appeared to be wholly metallic, except for some fluid that might have been blood, and Dr. Gero’s human brain. 17 and 18 claimed to be modified humans, like Gero/#20, but we never saw either of them take any heavy damage, so it was never clear how much of them was still human. At the time, it didn’t especially matter, but once 18 settled down with Krillin and had a baby, it was worth clarifying that this was possible for her. But if she had been in some epic battle and half of her face got ripped off, she’d probably turn out to be metal underneath, and the implication would be that she was just a brain in a robot body like Gero. It just depends on what direction the character went in. Schrödinger’s uteurs.

Later, Gohan runs into Videl, but he explains to her that he’s entered as the Great Saiyaman, so she has to call him that for the whole day. Then she shows off her flying ability to him, but she gets kind of frustrated that she can’t keep up with him.

Then Sharpner runs into them, and he quickly gets the impression that Videl is sweet on this Great Saiyaman person, if that is his real name, which it isn’t.

Gohan tries to leave, probably because he’s afraid Sharpner might recognize him from school, but Videl decides to play along. She doesn’t actually tell Sharpner that she’s dating Great Saiyaman, but she doesn’t deny it either. You can tell from the way she smiles that she enjoys watching him think about it.

Also, when the tournament contestants are summoned to the preliminaries, she takes Gohan’s arm in hers, just to twist the knife. Gohan’s even more unnerved by this, because, as Uncle Raditz once told him, he’s one of the mighty Saiyans too.

Speaking of Raditz, is that him posing in his underwear for a bunch of fans? Is that Luffa on the far left? Computer, zoom in sector 4 and enhance!

I mean, it’s not the standard color, and I’m not even 100% sure that’s supposed to be a woman, but the skin tone and the swagger are there. This isn’t a fan, either. You can tell by the gym bag she’s carrying....... which must contain her usual fighting clothes. It’s perfect. Anyway, she’s here to scold Raditz for skipping Tail Day.

So this reporter and camera crew are trying to get interviews with the contestants, but Vegeta and Piccolo blow them off.

Goku’s more accomodating, but they don’t understand what he means when he says he’s dead and he’s only visiting for the day.

And that’s when Piccolo gets fed up and starts blowing up cameras. Maybe he just doesn’t want Goku explaining the afterlife to the media?

Then we see this dude signing autographs... Is this Jonathan Joestar?

I mean, am I on drugs today? This episode is full of cameos. I came for the exploding cameras, but I stayed for the JoJo references and OC photobombs.

Meanwhile, Sharpner has made it his business to unmask Great Saiyaman and expose his identity to the world. Not sure how or why that would improve his standing with Videl, but I think at this point he’s just upset and this is the only outlet he has for his anger. I would give him credit for not stalking Videl or anything weird like that, but that may be more self-preservation than discretion. Videl would kick his ass in two seconds and he knows it.

The Z-Fighters all assemble in the area for the preliminaries, where all the other competitors are. A bunch of them are working out with weights to pass the time. I really don’t get that. This just seems like a bad time to lift, you know? Also, why bring dumbbells with you. You have to lug them around the whole time, check them on the flight, etc.

On the other hand, I totally get that guy on the left who’s stone cold taking a nap. I guess this is why I never had any talent for combat sports.

Hey, guess who it is? It’s the World Tournament Announcer! He’s still hosting this thing, and he’s delighted to see Goku, Krillin, and Piccolo return. As far as he’s concerned, these events are downright dull without awesome guys like these to make them cool. WTA’s gotten spoiled on gonzo super brawls, and now regular fighting just doesn’t do it for him anymore.

So the funny thing about all of this is that WTA is one of the few people who know that Goku and his friends beat Cell, and not Mr. Satan. King Furry figured it out, based on his recollection of Goku fighting King Piccolo, and he announcer knows it because he witnessed Goku’s battle with Piccolo Junior. That, and WTA watched Mr. Satan win the 24th Budokai, which must not have been nearly as impressive as the Goku/Piccolo battle from the 23rd.

Also, WTA is thrilled to see Goku’s brought even more cool dudes to join the action. He doesn’t understand Goku’s halo, but he still hasn’t made sense of Krillin’s resurrection from back in the day, so by now he’s just given up on trying to figure it out. He only asks that Piccolo doesn’t blow up the ring again, and Piccolo’s all “We’ll see,” which is probably exactly what WTA wanted to hear. Yeah, he doesn’t want the ring destroyed, but he likes the idea that it could happen at any time with this crew. Piccolo’s a master showman.

Does WTA remember that Piccolo’s the same guy who tried to conquer the world? He revealed himself at the 23rd Budokai, but the announcer doesn’t seem to remember, or maybe he figured out that Piccolo turned face by the Cell Games.

In any event, Gohan is pleased to see that there’s at least one person who knows and respects his father’s greatness.

Meanwhile, Sharpner tries to jump on Gohan from one of the rooftops, hoping to pull off his sunglasses, but Gohan bends down to pick up something at the last second, so it goes pear-shaped in a hurry.

Holy fuck he was picking up Captain Ginyu! This episode is truly a cavalcade of stars!

Also, Sharpner hit the pavement so hard he cracked it, and yet he’s still alive and unhurt, which lends to my theory that even ordinary people in Dragon Ball are much, much stronger than real-world people. Bulma could kick Brock Lesnar’s ass, is what I’m saying. He’d F5 her and she’d just jump back up and bitchslap him so hard that it’d break his neck. The cops couldn’t arrest her for murder because she’d be too strong for their feeble handcuffs.

Later, Sharpner gets a kid to pull off Gohan’s sunglasses while he lurks nearby with the camera. It’s too fast for him to recognize him on sight, but he knows the camera got a good shot, but then Piccolo destroys it, along with every other camera in the vicinity. So that takes care of Sharpner.

Okay, just to explain for younger readers, back in the day cameras relied on film, which had to be chemically developed before you could see the picture you took. So that’s why Sharpner didn’t just look at the photos he’d taken before it was too late. I think camera film is still common knowledge, but I’m trying to make sure this blog post will make sense in case someone finds it on archive.org in 2030.

Anyway, Piccolo just flat out explains that he destroyed every camera in the area. There’s a real Ron Swanson energy to Piccolo. “I don’t like flash photography so I murdered all of the cameras. You’re welcome.” Seriously, though, he did it just so Gohan can fight without fear of his disguise falling off. He’s a good friend.

So, in past tournaments, the preliminaries were this single-elimination tournament to choose eight fighters for the quarterfinals. This time around, they have a much faster system: The Punch Machine. Basically, everyone has to punch a device that measures how hard you hit, and the top 15 scorers get to participate in the tournament. The 16th slot automatically goes to Mr. Satan, since he’s the defending champion.

While the Z-Fighters are amused and/or disgusted by Satan’s antics, I think it’s pretty awesome how he comes out, holds up his title belt, and greets the other fighters by asking “Who among you will surpass me?!” I think in the dub he shouts “Who wants this?!” referring to his title belt. He knows one of these guys might beat him. If not today, then some day, and for all his glory-seeking, he accepts that. Plus, he gets the crowd all fired up. Goku just isn’t built that way.

So Mr. Satan does the first punch, which I guess is meant to establish a frame of reference for the machine. It scores him at 137, and I assume everyone thinks no one else can top that, since he’s thought to be the strongest man in the world.

While the gang lines up for their turn, Goku asks if Tien and “them” are coming. He really doesn’t know Chiaotzu’s name, does he? Is he using “them” to refer to Launch too? Or is he just not sure of Chiaotzu’s gender? Maybe he thinks Tien married a robot too. He has no idea.

Anyway, Krillin explains that Tien probably won’t be here. “No, dude, he just looked at us and said ‘I’m leaving now. Goodbye forever.’ And then we never saw him again. Pretty sure he’s not coming.”

All ofthese girls are here to cheer on Videl for when she takes her turn on the Punch Machine. Are they friends from school? Where’s Erasa, then? It seems a bit odd that they’re allowed back here, unless they’re entered in the tournament too, and they don’t appear to be dressed for it.

Anyway, this Punch Machine business really annoys Vegeta. Is that Nappa behind him? Wow.

18 takes her turn, and she tries to hold back, but she ends up getting a score of 774. Whoops.

Krillin scolds her for this, because now the officials think the machine is broken. She tries again and gets like a 206, which is still suspicious, but at least they can sort of buy that.

So the others just sort of barely tap it to get believable scores, but even so, they’re still higher than what the officials would have expected.

This is especially shocking to Videl, who hasn’t met the Z-Fighters yet.

So then it’s finally time for Vegeta’s turn. As it turns out, this marks the start of an epic battle, one of my all-time favorites. You don’t see a lot of talk about this one, but Vegeta vs. Punch Machine is a real classic. Over the course of the next six episodes we’ll--

Uh...

...

PUNCH MACHINE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Videl is stunned. Punch Machine was her godfather, but now it’s just a bunch of scrap metal. And that red cushiony part on the front.

Look at this heartless bastard. He killed Punch Machine and he doesn’t even care. It had one more day till retirement. I... I can’t go on anymore.

Yeah, that’s the Great Saiyaman Saga. Not so great, actually. They should call him Stand-Around-And-Let-Punch-Machine-Get-Murdered Saiyaman, because that’s what actually happened. I guess “justice” is only for humans and cat people now. Way to drop the ball, Saiyaman.

#dragon ball #2019dbliveblog #great saiyaman saga #goku #gohan #goten #trunks #vegeta #piccolo #krillin #android 18 #videl #mr satan #sharpner #jonathan joestar #punch machine #rest in punches old friend #😢

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