#especially since there's a chance of getting more content about him lmao-
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kalitheinksimp ¡ 8 months ago
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YIPPEE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY HUSBAND AND BOYFRIEND INK!!!!!!
Another year spent of me loving this silly little skeleton guy that exists on the internet and my brain that makes people around me question my sanity!!! Honestly, i don't regret it one bit~
Here's a tiny doodle I drew for celebration~!
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This is what reading manga does to my art style lmao-
Ahem- a lil Cringe-Emo-Lookin-Self-Indulgent-Emotionally-Vulnerable-Sappy art and personal stuff below the cut, uh.. also a bit of content warning, proceed only if you feel comfortable
Here's to another year with someone who quite literally brought colour to my life
Someone i could depend on, and be myself with
Someone who let me improve myself and my art
Someone who showed me I had potential, that it wasn't worth giving up
Someone i held onto when times were worst, when there was noone else to save me
Someone...who I loved more than myself. Who taught me to love myself too.
I am forever grateful for his existence. To others he might be just a character, just another drawing on a screen, but his existence has affected me alot. I can never feel the happiness i have gotten due to having him by my side, even if in imagination, from anything else.
He's who taught me true love. I would not be here without him.
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Thank you, and Happy Birthday, my most beloved Ink ♡
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tbyfandoms ¡ 1 month ago
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Heart to Heart | Clay Beresford x Reader
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Pairing: clay beresford x f!doctor!reader
Word Count: 16.2k
Summary: after crossing paths and connecting with new york’s most well known businessman, you end up in a whirlwind situation that’ll change your life forever
Warnings: reader is a heart transplant recipient, descriptions of heart transplant procedures and the healing process, mentions of overdosing and death of a mother, mild swearing
Masterlist/Request Form | Ask/Tell/Request
A/N: clay beresford, my angel bb! I was literally so excited when I got this request. I’m so absolutely obsessed with the awake movie and I think hayden did such a good job as clay. I literally need all the content for my little nyc golden retriever lmao! I really like how this turned out and I hope ya’ll do too. thank you sm to the person who requested this! enjoy and lmk what you think <3
Sterile.
That’s the only word you can ever come up with to describe the feeling of walking into the hospital each day. The white tiles, the bright lights, the almost burning scent of alcohol; it’s all so much to take in but somehow it also gives you a sense of peace.
Every time you come in through those doors it’s like a fresh start. No matter what happened the day before, no matter the heartbreaks or victories, the moment you step inside it’s another chance at new opportunities. It’s one of the reasons you love working here so much, love doing what you do. There are a lot of uncertainties in your line of work, but there are some risks worth taking.
Rounding the corner you start going over what you need to do today. Residency has been a whirlwind of an experience and every day is different from the last, but over the past few months since you’ve been at this hospital, you’ve started to get somewhat of a routine down. At least when you start your day it’s kind of the same every time, giving you a moment of normalcy until the real fun begins.
Changing into your scrubs in the locker room, you nearly jump as one of your coworkers, Jill, comes up beside you.
“Hey!” She squeaks, a gleam in her eyes you know all too well. She’s definitely up to something.
“Jesus, stop doing that to me! You’re gonna kill me one of these days,” you grumble. Shutting your locker you sit on the bench to change into your comfortable work shoes. They’re not the prettiest but they do wonders for your back and feet during these long shifts you endure.
“Sorry! But you’ll never guess who I just saw walk in with Dr. Harper.”
“Who?” You inquire—Jill’s giddy smile and shifty eyes beginning to freak you out.
“Clay Beresford,” she whispers, moving closer to you on the bench to ensure no one else can hear. Not like anyone would considering the two of you are the only people in the locker room.
“Really?” The name isn’t at all unfamiliar. If you live in this city, you know who Clay Beresford is, or his name at the very least. The man owns half the city at this point, and you wouldn’t be surprised if he owned all of it by the time he hit 30. All inherited from his father and even from his own doing too. You’ve seen a bit about him here and there in the papers and on the news. It surprises you how young he is and yet he’s already accomplished so much. It’s inspiring to put it plainly, especially considering how much good he’s done for the underprivileged.
It doesn’t surprise you Jill’s seen Clay here. When you started working at this hospital the gossip was everywhere. You couldn’t chat with a coworker without Clay Beresford being brought up. Apparently he has a bad heart and suffered a massive heart attack not long before you started. It was clear to you then that he didn’t have much time left without a transplant, and that was a while ago. You’re surprised he hasn’t been able to receive one yet considering his status, but amongst the whispers you were able to piece together that his blood type is rare and thus the transplant waiting game began. You’re unfortunately more familiar with that game than you’d like to be—having had your own heart transplant just a few short years ago.
No pun intended but your heart aches for Clay. You know that fear and anxiety he must be facing isn’t easy. The wait for a transplant is brutal enough as it is, but dealing with that is only half the battle. The road to recovery is a long and painful one and you just hope he has the support he’ll need once he does have the surgery. You’re not sure why your mind wanders to thoughts like that when you think of Clay, maybe it’s the transplant sympathizer in you, but there’s also just a part of you that feels like the Beresford heir is so much more than the media and other people make him out to be.
It’s sad, really, when you think about it. In reality Clay’s just like any other person trying to keep on living and get healthy, yet he’s talked about around the hospital as if HIPPA doesn’t exist. Sure he has money and power—as much as a man in New York could have—but that doesn’t change the fact he’s just a 20-something year old guy fighting for his life. You just wish more people saw it that way and wished him well instead of questioning what’s gonna happen to his company if he doesn’t make it out alive.
“-and I mean ohmygod I only saw him for a split second but I swear he is one of the most beautiful men I’ve ever laid my eyes on.” So lost in your own thoughts, you hadn’t even realized Jill has been going off on a tangent about her encounter with Clay.
“Wait, so did you talk to him?” Your eyebrows knit together as you look over at your friend, suddenly needing her to go back several steps in her story.
“No, I told you when I saw him walking down the hall with Dr. Harper I said hello to Doctor and that was it. I couldn’t exactly blurt out Clay’s name like I knew him. If I had I mean hello, stalker much?” You try to bite back your smirk, wanting to tell her that’s exactly what this whole conversation paints her out to be, but you let it go. Jill is always one for the dramatics. “But I did look at him as I was passing by and he smiled at me and nodded and honestly after that I’d say I’m pretty content with life now.”
Giggling, you shake your head. “You’re somethin’ else you know that, Jill?”
“Awh, c’mon! You can’t tell me you wouldn’t just die to have a conversation with Clay Beresford,” Jill teases, poking you softly in the side to try and egg you on. You swat her hand away playfully and roll your eyes.
“It’s not like he’s royalty. Sure he’s attractive and rich but so are a lot of men, some not so favorable.”
“Okay but he might as well be! He’s about as close as you can get to royalty in New York! And that’s the point, he’s not part of those not so favorable men. He seems like a really great guy! I know you think so too, I’ve heard your thoughts on him before. It’s good to have guys like him having a hand in what goes on in this city. God knows we need the help.”
“You got all of that out of a smile and a nod?” This time it’s Jill’s turn to roll her eyes and the two of you laugh lightly as you get up from your spots on the bench.
“Whatever, I’m just saying! You’ll understand where I’m coming from when you meet him in person.”
Reaching for the door handle you look back at Jill. “I doubt that’ll ever happen. I can’t think of one instance where he and I will ever end up in the same room together.”
“It’s possible, I mean look at me! I was just walking down the hall ready to come get you and there he was in all his glory,” she smiles. “I’m honestly surprised you haven’t run into him yet considering all the times he’s here. I know he’s always with Harper when he is here and you’re not usually on his service, but still. I’m also surprised Harper hasn’t introduced the two of you considering your history. You could probably give Clay some tips, you know.”
Turning the thought over in your head you realize that’s not actually a bad observation or idea. “You know you’re actually right. I do have first hand experience with that stuff…but I mean so does Dr. Harper. Sure he’s never experienced a transplant personally but he’s performed them countless times. He probably knows better than me everything that goes along with getting a new heart. I’m just a resident, what could I really help Clay with?”
Jill hums, a sign that means she’s not giving up. “There’s nothing better than talking to someone who’s actually gone through what they have. Respectfully, Dr. Harper can tell Clay all he wants about the process but you’ve actually lived it. I’m just saying it wouldn’t be the worst thing if you happened across him and were able to at least ease his mind if nothing else. Transplants are scary and dangerous, especially heart ones, but you’re proof they actually work and that he has a fighting chance.”
Glancing at your coworker you can see it in her eyes she’s being sincere. Sure Jill likes to joke a lot and is more unserious than not half the time, but she does have her moments and you’ve certainly found yourself in one. It warms your heart that she actually thinks you could be of any help to fellow transplant recipients, even if this whole conversation only started because of the fact she’s attracted to a patient.
“Thanks, Jill. Look I promise if I happen to see Clay Beresford I’ll make sure to give him all my expert advice on dealing with a heart transplant.” Saying it out loud kind of sounds ridiculous to you, still not believing the idea you’d ever even have a chance to talk to the businessman. But it seems to be enough for the woman beside you because in an instant she’s excitedly clapping her hands.
“Goodie! Now, let’s get serious.” Grabbing onto your arm as the two of you continue walking, she leans her head closer to yours—reminding you of when you were both in the locker room. “Do you think Clay has a girlfriend?”
And she’s back.
*****
After parting ways with Jill, you find yourself wandering the halls. A patient had asked you for directions and you took it upon yourself to just lead them to where they needed to go, finding it much easier to do instead of trying to explain it. Sometimes you swear you still get lost around here too.
You’ve ended up a long ways away from where you need to be so you’re quickly trying to find the easiest way back. You don’t have much to do right now but you’d still rather be closer to your assigned doctor for the day in case something comes up. Anything can happen and you want to be accessible if help is needed. You’re eager to learn any and all new skills whenever you can, plus you have a feeling it helps when doctors are deciding who gets to join in on surgeries, which—if you’re being honest—is the goal.
Turning the corner, you cut through the hallway where some of the operating rooms are. You’ve found yourself here countless of times in the past few months, either helping out with low-risk surgeries or merely observing. It gives you a rush in the moment, makes your heart beat a little faster, and although you know super high stress and a rapid heartbeat isn’t the best for you and your condition—it makes you feel alive. The rush and the heavy thumps of your heart remind you of all you’ve been through, all you’ve survived, and it makes you even more grateful to still be here. Grateful to still be able to go out there and help people just like you’ve always wanted.
Smiling at the thought, you quicken your steps, eager to get back to work and see what the day has in store for you. Though before you get much further, you look off to the side and see a doctor rapidly approaching you. It’s Dr. Puttnam, one of the doctors that works closely with Dr. Harper.
You’ve worked on his service a few times before but each time you were itching to get away. There’s just something about him you find a little off. Part of it is probably the way he so easily cracks jokes in the operating room while cutting open a patient and how he seems so cocky with everything he does. It’s like there’s this missing piece of humanity in him, he gives you the impression he only cares about himself and you constantly find yourself wanting to roll your eyes in his presence. You and Jill have talked about him before and she feels the same way you do—if not stronger. The two of you always tease each other when one of you unfortunately gets put on his service, and as he approaches you you pray he’s not here to tell you today’s one of those instances. That’d really put a damper on your mood right now.
“Y/N! Glad to run into you. Hey, do me a favor and let Dr. Harper know to saddle up. Riordan’s cabbage is in the ICU bleedin’. He took off for the fuckin’ vineyard so we gotta get in there. Harper’s supposedly in one of the operating rooms so just find him and let him know I’ll be waiting, thanks!”
You don’t even get a chance to respond because in an instant he’s back to rushing down the hallway. See this is exactly why you don’t like him. Who talks like that about another patient? It’s like taking care of people is a chore for him…as if it’s not his job.
Ugh.
Trying to not let it get to you, you take a peek in the operating room closest to you. You can see Dr. Harper through the window and can tell he’s talking to someone but you can’t see who it is. You’re pretty sure he didn’t have any surgeries this morning so you’re confused on why he’s even inside. You shrug and push on the door, feeling the weight of it as it slides open.
When you walk in you catch the tail-end of Harper’s conversation. “You might not have much of it left, okay?”
Your eyes cut from the doctor to the figure that moves on the operating table. As you step further into the room you nearly trip over your feet as you stop dead in your tracks. Laying on the operating table, forearms holding up the top half of his body, and staring straight at you, is Clay Beresford himself.
Oh my god?
For some reason you figured Clay would’ve been gone by now. Sure you knew he was with Dr. Harper, but considering his job you just assumed it’d be quick. You never thought in a million years you’d walk in on him laying on an operating table fully clothed and apparently discussing something serious with Dr. Harper. It’s strange but you’re also intrigued.
“Ah, Miss Y/L/N! How can I help you?” Harper’s voice breaks you out of your trance and you pray the heat you feel flush through your body isn’t visible as you finally look away from the blonde just a few feet in front of you.
“Dr. Harper, I-I’m sorry to interrupt! I didn’t know you were with a…” Words fail you as your eyes flit to Clay once again, taking note of the soft smile adorned on his face. Finally the word you’re looking for comes to mind and you shift your focus back onto Harper. “Patient.”
“It’s quite alright, we were just finishing up.” Harper turns to Clay and from the tone of his voice and look on his face, you get the feeling you actually were interrupting. “Was there something you needed, Y/N?”
Before you can dive too deep into the possibilities of what it is Dr. Harper was talking to Clay about, you remind yourself of the actual reason you walked in here. “Yes! Sorry! Dr. Puttnam stopped me in the hall and told me there’s a bit of a-uh emergency?” Going over Puttnam’s words in your head you try to piece together a more respectful version of them. “Dr. Riordan’s patient is apparently bleeding out and he’s away on vacation so Dr. Puttnam said it’s up to the both of you to treat the patient now. It seemed urgent and he said he wants you to meet up with him in the ICU right away.”
A flash of shock crosses Dr. Harper’s face as he takes in your words and you can see him start to revert to hyperdrive-as most doctors do with news like this. “Oh I see, alright, thank you for letting me know.”
Harper places a hand on Clay’s shoulder and you take this moment to do a once over of the businessman as his attention is being drawn elsewhere. He’s wearing a grey suit that is of course fitted to perfection and he’s got some leather shoes (that you’re sure are worth more than your rent) to match.
It’s funny, you would think that considering his well-kept appearance and cookie cutter styling, the Beresford heir would be oozing the feeling of wealth and prestige. But instead all you see as you look at him sat on that operating table, looking up into the serious eyes of his doctor, is apprehension and uncertainty wrapped up in expensive packaging.
Clay may have practically all the money in the world and an empire of a business backing him, but it’s clear in the unspoken message passing between him and Dr. Harper that there’s a lot more involved than what the public knows. It’s apparent to you, just like you thought earlier, that there’s more to Clay Beresford than just his money and pretty face, that he too has things—people—he’s scared of losing.
You can’t help the downward dip in the corner of your lips as you think about it all, as you think about how you were in his exact same position not that long ago.
“I have to go,” Harper says as he steps away from Clay, but suddenly he stops and you watch as his gaze flutters back and forth between you and the blonde. A thought seems to occur to him and you swear you can see a smile start to form on his face. “I’m sorry, I completely forgot you two have never met before. I don’t know why I didn’t think to introduce you sooner. Y/N, this is Clay, he’s a patient of mine that’s awaiting a heart transplant. Clay, this is Y/N, she’s a resident here and is actually a heart transplant recipient herself.”
Now it’s your turn to be shocked. Where is Jill and how in the hell did she speak this into existence?
Before you get the chance to actually process the fact you’re being personally introduced to Clay, you watch as the man of the hour sticks out his hand for you to shake. You take a step forward and grasp it in your own, giving his hand a light shake as he nods his head and smiles up at you from his seat on the table.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Y/N,” he says.
“You as well, Clay.” A beat passes between the two of you just looking at each other and it’s in this instance you notice how blue Clay’s eyes are. They’re pale blue—like the sky—and you find yourself hoping that a cloud never passes through them.
God, get it together, Y/N.
Letting go of Clay’s hand, you take a step back and put some distance between you. The pictures of him on the news and in the paper so do not do him justice. You take a second to remind yourself Clay’s still a patient of this hospital and, yeah, you’re still an employee of it too. Oops?
“Remember what I said, Clay. No regrets. The clock’s ticking,” Harper says as he walks backwards towards the door. As he faces forward and grabs onto the handle, he stops and turns towards you both again. “You know, Y/N, while you’re here maybe you can give Clay a little advice and insight on the importance and weight of this surgery? Have a little…heart to heart, if you will.”
The doctor smiles at you both before he disappears through the door, leaving you and Clay alone in the operating room.
As the door softly closes, you swear you could hear a pin drop in the silence that follows. For being a bustling hospital it sure is quiet out there…
“So, you’re a heart transplant recipient?” Clay breaks the silence first and you’re grateful for it. You’re not sure what you would’ve even opened a conversation like this with. What does Harper expect you to say? Hey, Clay! This surgery is super scary and you might die, but stay positive!
To be fair, it’s not like that’s a lie per say, but it’s incredibly blunt and you’re definitely not the type of person to just dish something out like that and move on.
“I am,” you start, finding it hard to fully look into the blonde’s eyes again. They’re so intense you’re not sure you’ll be able to be alone with him in this room, look into them, and not completely lose your mind. “It was a while back, nothing extremely recent, but yeah. It was…an experience.”
You don’t even know how to articulate the proper words to explain to Clay how monumental something like a heart transplant is. He’s not stupid, there’s no doubt he knows the risks, but having experienced it yourself and knowing first hand what’s it’s like on the other side of it all is hard to summarize.
“I bet it was,” Clay practically whispers. It’s in this moment you notice he’s lost some of that front he was obviously putting up for Dr. Harper. That joking edge in his tone is gone and is instead replaced by unknowingness. “Dr. Harper has tried to explain to me over and over how important and serious this surgery is, and I get it I really do, but there’s still a part of me that is completely lost on it all. I think if I believe it’s not that bad and just act like everything is fine that it will be. But I know that’s not how it works.
“I’ve tried to talk to Dr. Harper about it but it never comes out the way I want it to. I feel like it would kind of fall on deaf ears anyways. At the end of that surgery Dr. Harper will still be alive. I’m the only one in that operating room who has a chance at not making it back out of there and that terrifies the hell out of me.” Clay let’s out a breathy laugh, not because he finds anything actually funny, but because of the fact he can’t believe he actually said that out loud.
Since the moment he found out he needed this surgery, he’s never once vocalized the very real possibility of what can happen. He’s heard it spoken a dozen times to and around him, but never once has he heard it be spoken in his own voice. The weight on his shoulders seems to somehow get even heavier.
You know Clay is a busy man and that there isn’t a lot of time here to get through to him. But you feel your heart practically shatter in your chest at the blonde’s words, and it’s at this point you decide you’ll try your best, because for some reason the universe has given you this opportunity to be there for someone in your position—something you unfortunately didn’t have. You won’t stand to let Clay be in this alone. Family or not, the man clearly has no one around who’s gone through what he has and you refuse to let him deal with it on his own any longer.
“Clay,” you say, taking tentative steps towards him, not wanting to cross a boundary but also wanting to be close enough so he really hears what you’re about to say. “Dr. Harper isn’t wrong when he says how risky this surgery is. There is a very high chance that you will go to sleep on that table and never wake up.”
Clay’s eyes flick to yours and suddenly that jittery feeling you had looking into them earlier is gone. Now you only feel sincerity and determination as you look into them.
“I don’t want you to take that as me believing you won’t survive this, though. I mean look at me, I know first hand exactly what you’re going through, what you will go through, and I am still here. I am alive and healthy and proof that this can work for you too. I don’t know everything Dr. Harper has told you or asked of you, but I want you to know that you don’t have to let the fear control you. Yeah, this surgery is scary as hell. I didn’t think I was going to make it either, but I did, and I’ve lived every day since knowing this transplant is not a death sentence. It’s a chance at a new life.”
Something flickers in Clay’s eyes and you swear you can tell you’re getting through to him, in whatever way that may be.
“Yes, there are risks, and yes I agree with Dr. Harper in the sense that you need to grasp the fact this surgery and it’s repercussions are very real, but that’s not all that’s important. Of course there are things you have to think about and take care of before going into this surgery, but you also need to take care of yourself. It is your life, Clay, and if I took away anything from when I had my own transplant surgery, it’s that no one else can get you through this the way you can. Your decisions are your own and you have to look after what’s important to you first, no matter what or who that may be. But just because there’s a chance you won’t survive, that doesn’t mean it’ll happen. You deserve to still be able to think about and plan your future. Dr. Harper is a good surgeon and I believe with all my heart that you will continue to have one.”
There’s a finality in your tone that you’re not quite sure on where it came from. Part of you feels like you were just standing on a soap box and maybe you shouldn’t have gone off on that little rant as much as you did, but from the look on Clay’s face you can tell it means the world to him.
“Y/N…why is it only now I’ve just met you?” Clay grins at you and you can feel your face flush at both his comment and awestruck gaze. “Somehow I feel things would’ve made a lot more sense earlier on if I would’ve met you when this all started. Not one person has ever made me feel the way you just did about this surgery. No one’s been able to give their honest thoughts and feelings on it all like that. This is the first time in almost a year that I’ve ever felt seen and heard.”
There’s a small blush on Clay’s cheeks and you revel in the way you words have affected him. You didn’t really have a plan, you kinda just went for it, so you’re glad it came off the way you wanted it to. If there’s anything Clay—or any transplant patient really—deserves is the chance to find solace in someone who can relate to them. Someone to help ease their fears, their burdens.
“There’s a lot of doctors and statistics involved in this whole thing, but there’s not a lot of relatability. Going through this process can be very lonely and nerve wracking, and I know we quite literally just met today but I want you to know I’m here for you, Clay. If you need someone that has any clue about what it’ll feel like, what the process of recovery is like, I’m here to answer those questions. Not everyone is the same, everyone’s transplant journey is different. But just know you no longer have to feel alone in this.”
As you finish your spiel, you try to hide your surprise at your own words. You’ve met this man officially mere minutes ago and yet here you are essentially offering up a shoulder to cry on. Even through your shock you find it weird how natural it feels.
“Thank you, Y/N, seriously,” Clay starts, clearly not feeling uncomfortable at the offer at all as an honest and warm smile adorns his face as he looks at you. “I’m gonna hold you to that.”
That heat makes its way back to your face as you stare at Clay, watching as his eyes look up at you through his lashes as he continues to sit on the operating table. In this position you have the tiniest bit of height advantage on him and you curse yourself for noticing how easy it would be to lean forward and wrap your arms around his neck and pull him into an embrace.
After a few more beats of comfortable silence, the two of you just enthralled in each other’s presence, a daring thought pops into your head. It probably crosses so many lines in regards to HIPPA and just doctor/patient morals in general, but you don’t want this to be the last you see of Clay. Who knows when he’ll be back the same time as you, or if you’ll even get the opportunity to stop and talk to him when you are at the hospital at the same time. You’ve seen a lot of articles recently about taking things into your own hands, making the first step, and apparently this is your moment to practice just that.
“Clay-“ You don’t even get the chance to attempt to be bold because the moment the blonde’s name leaves your lips, his phone is ringing and his gaze is ripped from your own as he reaches into his pocket in search of the source of the sound.
You watch as he looks down at the screen and in an instant every thought of absolutely anything happening between you two is immediately dismissed. It’s so obvious in the way Clay’s shoulders relax, the crease between his brow flattens, and how his whole face practically lights up that clearly whoever is on the other side of that phone call is someone the businessman is in love with.
“Hey, baby,” Clay coos softly in the phone, looking so at peace in an environment that is the complete opposite of it. And that confirms it.
Your shoulders slump forward and you’re unsure why you feel so deeply affected by all of this. You don’t know Clay at all, never would have under any other circumstance, so why does it hurt so much watching him talk sweetly to another woman?
Quickly, you stand up straighter and plaster a smile on your face as Clay’s eyes flick over to you, seeming to remember where exactly he is and who it is he was talking to before his phone rang.
Pulling the phone away slightly from his face, he smiles at you apologetically. “I’m sorry, I should really head out now. It was so nice to meet you.” Clay gets up from the operating table and you find yourself taking a step back as his full height comes into view and he consumes your space.
“Of course! It was nice to meet you too, Clay,” you reply, finding it hard to meet his eyes now. A twinge of embarrassment floods through you. How naïve of you to let yourself daydream about this becoming anything else than what it actually is; a doctor talking to a patient.
You watch his retreating back as he makes his way to the door and you find yourself firmly planted in the spot he’s leaving you in. You won’t lie, a part of you doesn’t want to follow in the risk you’ll go in the same direction and you’ll be forced to hear him whisper more sweet nothings to another woman.
As Clay opens the door, he pauses for a moment before turning back to you and nodding his head. “See you around.”
The door slowly closes behind him and you let out a breath of air you didn’t realize you were holding in.
“See you around, Clay.”
*****
“God, I cannot wait to go home, curl up in bed, and go to sleep. I’m exhausted,” Jill groans as she rubs the back of her neck with her hand, trying to ease some of the tension there.
“Tell me about it, I feel like it was so brutal today. I guess it makes sense considering it is Halloween, but still.” Rolling your head, you feel a couple cracks in your neck and you can’t help the hum of satisfaction that slips past your lips at the feeling.
“Oh shit, it is Halloween, isn’t it? I can’t believe I didn’t realize! Ugh all the good candy is probably sold out by now. You think some of the other doctors with families will bring in candy tomorrow they don’t want their kids to eat? I’d kill for a full size Hershey bar.”
You giggle over your friend’s comments and roll your eyes as you nudge her softly. “Jill, we can get those from the vending machines! Stop trying to mooch off of kids’ hard earned candy.”
“I know, but it tastes better when it’s from trick or treating! A-k-a when it’s free! Besides those kids don’t need it, cavities and all that.”
“Oh okay, I didn’t know you switched over to dentistry,” you laugh.
Jill rolls her eyes and smirks. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Hey, are you even working tomorrow? You better or when I steal a kid’s candy bar, I’m not sharing with you.”
“You’ll have to indulge without me then because I’m off,” you shrug and then laugh as you watch Jill throw her head back with a groan.
“Ugh, so not fair, you lucky, lucky girl! I’m not off until the day after.”
“It’s okay, I’ll get my karma then because I’m working when you’ll be off, so it all balances out in the end.”
Jill tilts her head and hums satisfactorily at that realization. “Huh, you’re right. All is forgiven.”
The two of you laugh and you shake your head at your friend’s antics. You don’t know what you’d do without her.
As the two of you round the corner towards the front door, you both slow down as you take in the sight of a small group before you. It only takes you a second to recognize Clay and even less time to realize he’s with a girl. A very beautiful girl at that.
“Woah, who’s the babe with Clay? You think that’s…?” Jill tilts her head slightly towards you, wanting to get your insight.
You don’t even have to guess that that’s the woman the blonde was talking to earlier on the phone. As you get closer you realize Clay has his arm wrapped around her as well, and your stomach lurches a bit at the sight.
“Y/N!” Your eyes are immediately averted from Clay’s embrace around his—presumed—girlfriend, and instead become locked in with those of the man in question. Those pale blues look somehow even brighter, happier than they were this morning. From the looks on everyone else’s face as well, you can tell there’s a reason for it.
“Hey, Clay,” you smile, finding yourself and Jill now wrapped up in the small gathering. “What’s going on? What are you doing here so late? Is everything okay?”
“More than okay, Ms. Y/L/N! Clay here is getting his new heart tonight,” Dr. Harper chimes in. The smile that breaks out on your face is uncontrollable.
“What!? Clay, that’s amazing! Congratulations.” For a mere moment it feels like the two of you are the only ones standing there. Clay’s soft, grateful smile causes your cheeks to warm and a sense of adoration to flow through you.
The feeling swiftly leaves though as you pick up movement out of the corner of your eye. All too soon you’re brought back to the reality that you’re in a group of people, and the man you can’t stop fawning over is very much involved with whoever this woman is next to him.
Your eyes flit from Clay’s to the brunette woman’s and somehow Clay seems to pick up on it, lightly shaking his head in disbelief. “I’m so sorry, I haven’t introduced you two yet! Sam, this is Y/N, one of the doctors who works with Jack. Y/N, this is Sam; my wife.”
Wife.
The word rings out in your head and you have to fight the way it nearly knocks you off your feet. “H-Hi! It’s so nice to meet you.” You reach out your hand and Sam does the same, your eyes widening at the sight of her wedding ring as she grasps your hand in hers.
You quickly try to recover, not wanting to be too obvious with the way you’re feeling right now. Sam’s smile is big and infectious and you’re sure she doesn’t notice a thing.
Who would, knowing a man like the one next to her is her husband?
Lightly shaking your head, you let go of Sam’s hand and turn towards Jill, needing her now more than ever and also realizing she also deserves an introduction.
“And this is Jill! A friend of mine as well as a fellow doctor.” Jill wastes no time in taking Clay’s gaze off of you, moving in closer and sticking out her hand immediately.
“Hi! So great to officially meet you, Clay!” She says ecstatically before turning her head towards his wife and only slightly losing the excitement. “Sam.”
Clay grasps her hand in his and you can just tell by the look on her face that she’s eating this up. You have to hold yourself back from laughing. “I remember you! I saw you this morning while I was with Dr. Harper, right?”
You swear you see Jill die and then come back to life all in a split second. “Y-Yes, that was me!”
She miraculously lets go of Clay’s hand and you hear her let out a stunned huff as the takes a step back towards you. Not a second later you feel Jill poke you lightly in the side and you know immediately she’s never going to live this moment down.
You cover up the chuckle that escapes you by clearing your throat. As you regain yourself, you watch as Sam looks up at Clay and they seem to share a private moment, even while standing in the middle of a hospital. It’s evident the love they have for each other, the trust and admiration. It’s palpable and makes your heart squeeze, both in envy and despair.
You’d give anything to have a love like that. A man like that. Specifically that man in front of you, if you’re being completely honest.
“You girls heading home for the night?” A voice cuts into your stream of thought and you’re grateful for the opportunity to turn away from Clay and Sam.
It’s Dr. Puttnam, but you’re honestly not even mad about having to talk to him right now. You might even go as far as to say you’re thankful for him…maybe.
“Yeah, our shifts just ended so we’re on our way out,” you reply.
“Really? That’s too bad, I was hoping maybe you’d be here for the surgery. I figured since you work with Jack and all that you’d be in the operating room,” Clay says, drawing your attention right back to him.
“Oh-!” Clay’s words catch you off guard but also leave you feeling flattered. To think he wanted—no, wants—you in the operating room with him, it leaves you practically speechless. “Uh-no, I’m not on your case specifically, but I wouldn’t mind stepping in, if Dr. Harper is-“
“No!” You’re cut off by Harper himself and with his sudden exclamation, your excitement dwindles. An opportunity to be there for Clay in a way you didn’t think was possible would’ve been everything. Even besides that, to step in on a high profile heart transplant surgery this early in your career could’ve opened so many doors for you. You’re confused on the sudden shut down of the idea and by the look on Clay’s face, you’re not the only one. Harper clears his throat and gives a strained smile. “I mean, unfortunately that wouldn’t be possible. Although Y/N is more than capable of taking part in the surgery, due to the severity of this case I must insist we stick with only the original people assigned to this operation. We wouldn’t want to risk anything or have more people in the room than necessary.”
A valid reason, but still a disappointing one nonetheless. You just nod your head understandingly, your lips coming together in a tight line as you try to not let your upset emotions shine through.
“You could stick around in the waiting room with me? If you want to that is, I know you’re just getting off a shift. Clay told me earlier about the conversation he had with you and well, I just know it’d mean a lot to him to know you were around—at least in some capacity—for his surgery.” Your eyes snap to Sam and her offer takes you by surprise.
Damn, she’s nice, too? It’s gonna be really hard to dislike this woman.
You shift your gaze to the blonde before you and he nods his head lightly, encouraging the idea. Your decision is a no brainer. “I’d love to. Anything to help support Clay.”
“Great!” Puttnam cuts in with a clap of his hands. “The more, the merrier! I’m sure your mother will appreciate the company, Clay.”
The doctor looks on with a smile but it immediately drops as he takes in Clay’s concerned expression.
“What? Wait, she’s here?” Clay questions.
Clay and Harper share a look and you try to not come off as nosy as you attempt to read their expressions. It’s clear Dr. Harper and Clay have some sort of understanding with each other. It doesn’t seem odd considering their friendship, but it’s clear there’s some hesitation between them when it comes to Mrs. Beresford, at least from what you can tell.
“What? She’s on the call sheet,” Dr. Puttnam says in defense.
Clay sighs before turning to Sam. “I’m going to go deal with this and then I’ll meet back up with you. I think it’d be best if I just went with Jack to handle my mother.” Sam nods and you watch as the blonde leans in and plants a soft kiss on her forehead before turning back to the group.
You try to make yourself appear as if you didn’t just witness their tender moment by stepping a bit closer to Penny, trying to locate what room they’re gonna have Clay in.
“If you want,” you start, wanting to offer at least some sort of help. “I can take Sam up to the room you’ll be in. She can wait there until you’re ready to get changed for surgery.”
“Thank you, Y/N,” Clay smiles. “That’d be perfect.”
Trying to hide the blush you just know is beginning to coat your cheeks, you smile and nod your head before stepping away towards Jill. The look on her face makes her appear as if she’s just won the lottery and honestly just knowing how Jill is, her talking to Clay is her version of winning the lottery.
You roll your eyes affectionately and smirk as you physically feel how jittery with excitement she is as you pull her closer to you. “Well, I guess this is happening?”
“Holy shit! Yeah this is happening! Look at you getting all cosy with the Beresford family! This morning you didn’t even think you’d ever be in the same room as Clay let alone getting to talk to him and now be his personal on call girl.” There’s a suggestive look on your friend’s face and you feel yourself wanting to curl into a ball over the fact she said that when everyone else is barely five feet away.
“Jill!” You squeak. She begins to laugh and you hate the fact you feel yourself fighting back a chuckle as well. “I can’t believe you.”
“No, I can’t believe you. I’m heading home but go and get cosy with the apparent new Mrs. B.” Jill lowers her voice and leans her head so close to you her forehead nearly knocks into the side of yours. “Maybe you’ll find out she’s really some horrible person and you can swoop in and steal the blonde god that is Clay Beresford away from her.”
“Jill! Never gonna happen!” You playfully push your friend away and watch as she laughs brightly over the whole thing. You just stand there and shake your head, barely noticing the intrigued look on Clay’s face a few feet away from you.
As your friend recollects herself, you let her absurd words float through your mind. You sneak a glance over at the woman in question and find it hard to believe she could have any trace of evil inside of her. Her smile and eyes are too kind, and the literal glow around her as she talks with her husband is unmistakable. It’s clear she makes Clay happy and you’re sure a man as good as Clay Beresford would never fall for someone cruel.
“You never know,” Jill shrugs. She yawns and then continues. “I’m gone, but call me if anything happens! Good or bad, I want the details.”
“Promise! Have a good night, I’ll see you later.” Jill waves in return and as she walks past the small group she wishes Clay ‘good luck’, which he instantly thanks her for.
Even with her back turned you can tell the woman has a smile on her face. You don’t even wanna know the thoughts running through her head right now. The idea makes you chuckle.
Rejoining the group you take in the fact it’s dwindled since you stepped away. All that remains is Clay, Sam, and Dr. Harper.
“Y/N, perfect timing! Dr. Puttnam has gone with Penny to get the operating room ready for Clay. Why don’t you go on ahead with Sam while Clay and I speak with his mother. We hope the conversation won’t be long,” Dr. Harper says before glancing at Clay. “But either way we will meet up with you both and get started right away.”
“Sounds good to me,” you say before turning towards Clay and Sam. “Sam, right this way.”
The brunette smiles at you warmly and you mentally curse yourself for even jokingly thinking about the idea of stealing her new husband from her.
After all, she is just evidently a girl in love trying to live a long, happy life with her husband.
*****
To say the atmosphere has turned a little...chilly would be an understatement. After bringing Sam back to the waiting room, it wasn't long before Clay's mother joined you two. She greeted you kindly, asked a few questions, and thanked you for staying to support her son. But the minute Sam tried to insert herself into the conversation, tried to find some connection with Clay's mom, Lilith immediately shut her down. Lilith wasn't very receptive to anything Sam had to say, which made having any conversation with the both of them basically impossible, to put it lightly.
So now you find yourself practically trapped between these two women who clearly have some sort of history, anxiously watching the time tick by on the clock you've had your eyes glued to for some time now. Lilith's occupied herself with some playing cards she had in her purse and Sam twiddles aimlessly with her thumbs, no doubt feeling anxious not only about Clay but also due to the tension between herself and his mother.
"Miss, uh..." The deep baritone of the nurse's voice breaks you out of your thoughts and you immediately hone in on the chance he might be bringing news of Clay. "Ramos?"
Your shoulders slump down in rejection, feeling no closer to getting any answers than you did before the nurse walked in. You watch out of the corner of your eye as he goes and sits down in one of the waiting room chairs close to Sam. Your eyebrows furrow in confusion as you wonder what it is he could want from her.
"Hi, how you doin'?" He asks Sam and you can tell she's having non of it as she replies with a cool 'hey'. "Can I help you with something?"
Wow, he's persistent, you think.
You go to roll your eyes, picking up on the fact that clearly this guy is trying to hit on Sam. Which, if you think about it, is a little sick considering where you are currently. Obviously that doesn't deter some people.
"Haven't I seen you around?" You lift your head up and look over at the pair, finding it odd the nurse would even say that. You assume if he has seen her around, she'd be with Clay and this guy would know she's taken. You mentally brush it off, this is probably just part of his game to get Sam's number.
The need to maybe step in on Sam's behalf is abruptly pushed to the side as you see Sam hold up her hand, proudly showing off her engagement and wedding ring.
You can't help the tiny smirk that graces your lips as you watch the nurse sigh and slouch down in defeat. Sam shut that down real quick. The nurse mumbles an apology before rushing off back to his job.
"You have two rings on your finger." Your smirk disappears as you hear Lilith speak up from beside you. It's the first time she's spoken to Sam directly since you got to the waiting room. Something tells you this is not gonna be good.
"What was that?" Sam questions barely above a whisper. She's probably just as shocked as you this interaction is happening.
"Why are you wearing two rings, Sam?" The way Lilith questions it, you know she already knows the answer and she is not happy about it.
Holy shit, you think. She had no idea her own son got married.
Things just got a whole lot more interesting.
Sam stays silent and it doesn't take long for Lilith to question, "When?"
"Just before he got the call," Sam shrugs, looking timid. Clay's mom sighs and quickly looks away from her, finding the playing cards she's been shuffling way more interesting than whatever it is her apparent daughter-in-law has to say.
"Lilith," Sam pleads, but it's no use as Lilith refuses to look up.
Yikes. Maybe I should've sat on the other side, you think. You feel at any moment those playing cards could go flying and you really don't feel like being in the middle of that cat fight.
Clearing your throat in the least awkward way as possible, you get up and head for the vending machine a few feet in front of you. Maybe a little refreshment will do you some good. It is Halloween after all, you deserve a sweet treat.
As you pick which of the drinks it is you want, you remember the tidbit Sam tried to give Clay's mom earlier when she first walked into the waiting room. You hold down a bit longer on the button and feel satisfied as you watch your treat get released to you.
Bending down to grab your drink, you startle a little as a crash sounds from behind you. You turn your head and watch as Sam hurries to the floor, a bunch of orange pill bottles scattered around her. She must've dropped her purse.
"Oh, shit!" She exclaims, trying to catch some of the bottles before they roll away. You go to help her pick them up, but you stop as she begins to speak, clearly to Lilith. "Levatol, Enalapril, Digoxin. He likes me to carry them around. If I left it up to him he'd be popping 'em like M&Ms. He could OD on these things, you know?"
Sam finishes gathering all the bottles and goes back to the chair she was sitting in. "Can't say I'll miss them. A lot of cute purses I haven't been able to use over the last year."
"I didn't know you did that," Lilith says softly, looking down at the ground. It's obvious she's taking in the fact Sam cares deeply for Clay. Why else would she cart around all his medicines like that? You don't do that for someone you're not serious about. "That you carried his meds around."
It feels as if there's about to be some big turning point for the two women right now, so you stay hovering by the vending machine, not wanting to get in the way of whatever moment they're about to have. You only hope it turns out well and doesn't become a screaming match.
"I tried not to like him. I honestly did," Sam starts. "Lilith, I know how much he means to you."
"What do you want from me, Sam?" Lilith asks defensively. You barely know the woman and yet you can tell all of this is incredibly hard for her to fathom. Her son got married right under her nose and now he's in a life threatening surgery that she has no idea if he'll survive. You can't even imagine where her head must be at right now.
"I want you to tell him that he's as good as his father. I want you to tell him that it's okay to love me, and I want you to tell me that it's okay to love him back. He's already lost one parent, he can't lose another. He needs you. I'm not a bad person. I mean if you could just give us your blessing—"
There's a rawness and urgency in Sam's tone. At this point she has nothing left to lose. It's clear she's hanging on to every second Lilith is giving her, using every bit of that time to try and convince this powerful woman that she's deserving of her son. A part of you aches for her. To have a love you're willing to fight for is a rare thing, and you think anyone who's willing to sacrifice everything for the one they love deserves happiness.
"Okay, just stop talking." Lilith holds up her hand and that immediately causes Sam to halt her efforts. You prepare for the worst, but what Clay's mom does next shocks you. "Just make sure he takes his meds and...stop talking."
"What?" Sam asks, her eyes going slightly wide at Lilith's...acceptance?
"He has horrible allergies. Did you know that? Especially in the spring. Grass and flowers." You watch as Sam wastes no time in wrapping her arms around Lilith, bringing her in for a long awaited hug. The sight makes you smile. "Don't think this means I'm gonna be visiting every week."
Sam holds on a little longer and you can see Lilith start to stiffen a bit at the contact. She's not fully there yet, but you can tell this family is going to be okay. You may not know the whole story, but it's clear there's a lot of love involved. "Okay. Okay, let go. All right." Lilith chuckles a little and the two of them break apart, settling back into each of their respective seats.
You take this as your sign that it's all clear to take your seat again. You walk up and catch Sam's eye, you give her a warm smile and she gives you one in return. That glow she had around Clay earlier is back and you can tell this interaction she had with Lilith has lifted her spirits. That little envious feeling you had earlier too comes back, but you push it aside. Now is not the time.
As you sit down in between Sam and Lilith again, you open your drink and take a long sip. The cool liquid runs down your throat and you relish in the refreshing feeling. It feels like you've all been here for ages. You're starting to pick up on the feeling your friends and family must've had when you had your own heart transplant surgery. This waiting game is definitely not easy, and you'd give anything to get some answers.
Clay's wife must feel the same because not a second later she leans towards you and Lilith. "You know what? I'm gonna try and find out what's going on."
You both give Sam nods of encouragement, seeing it as the best bet. You thought about maybe trying to use your status as an employee as leverage to try and get some information, but the fact you're off the clock mixed with the fact you're not part of Clay's family had you second guessing doing that. Thankfully Sam's taking one for the team. "Sit tight, you two. I'll be right back."
The brunette walks off towards two doctors who have congregated in the hallway and you strain your ears to try and hear what they have to say, it's useless though, everyone talking in hushed tones.
There's a doctor in blue scrubs off to the right of Sam and you watch as he makes his way towards her. You've personally never seen him around before, but maybe he's new or he's been called in to help on a surgery. Whatever the case may be, you just hope he has some answers about Clay and his condition.
"You're not a doctor at this hospital!" You hear Sam bite out, and the comment leaves you confused. "I mean, you don't work here, do you?" She finishes in hushed tones, but it's just loud enough for you to hear, and by the looks of it so did Lilith. The two of you share a puzzling look, not understanding why Sam would say something like that. You chalk it up to the fact maybe Sam just hasn't seen this specific doctor before. You're sure she's decently familiar with Clay's team, so of course she'd have some questions if someone completely new is working on his surgery.
You give Lilith an assuring smile, trying to ease any worries she may have. She gives you one too, but you can tell it's not genuine. She goes back to holding her scarf close to her chest, no doubt what she's using to ground herself, and you mentally sigh. As with any patient's family, you want to give Lilith some sort of comfort to hold onto. A positive update. Good news on Clay's recovery. Anything at all. But alas, you're not able to offer anything and that alone breaks your heart.
Sam walks away from the doctor and you watch as she retreats down a hallway. You're not sure where she plans on going or how she plans on getting some answers, but maybe she knows something you don't. Clay is a high profile patient, to be fair. She could know a way to get access that you haven't heard of yet. Whatever it is Sam is doing, you just hope she's quick. You're not sure how much longer Lilith will be able to hold out without any information.
*****
It seems like hours before Sam makes her way back to the waiting room. In reality it was probably only ten to fifteen minutes, but every minute feels like an hour when it comes to something like this.
As the newest Mrs. Beresford walks towards you and Lilith, you watch as Clay's mother immediately springs to her feet.
"Is he okay? Is everything okay?"
"They wouldn't say," Sam offers. All that time gone and she has nothing to report? There's a nagging feeling in the back of your mind that says none of this is right, things aren't adding up, but you let it go the minute you catch a glimpse of Lilith's face; a mix of both relief at no bad news, but also nerves from no good news either.
"You were gone so long. I started—" Lilith rolls her head back, her shoulders slumping.
"I know, I know. I'm scared too," Sam sympathizes.
The brunette rubs the arms of the older woman before leading her back to her chair. She smiles and nods at you, and you try your best not to make anything of her shifty gaze. It feels almost as if she doesn't want you too close, seeing past anything she's giving Lilith.
It must be paranoia, nothing solid has happened to make it seem like something is going on. Sam is a nice girl, she probably can just tell you have the hots for her husband, and as the clock ticks closer and closer to his surgery finishing, you're sure she's just becoming a little uncomfortable sharing such a personal time with you.
You technically are just a random doctor she met today who had a heartfelt conversation with her significant other and is now sitting with her and her mother-in-law during his life altering surgery. When you put it into perspective, the untrustworthy atmosphere seems to make a bit more sense.
Shaking it off, you readjust yourself in your chair. With no news at all, who knows how much longer it's going to be. Might as well get comfortable.
*****
"Something's wrong." Lilith's voice breaks you out of the trance you've found yourself in. For who knows how long now you've been trying to ground yourself. You're not sure why you're feeling so affected. Maybe it's because you do have a soft spot for Clay. Maybe it's the realization of how scary it is to care for someone going through a heart transplant. Maybe it's a coping mechanism to try and tune out the fact the three of you haven't spoken since Sam came back, anxiety striking you all silent. "I can feel that something's wrong."
"What Is it?" You ask Lilith, noticing her stricken expression the moment you look towards her.
"I can't just sit here like this. They should have told us something by now."
Sam straightens in her seat beside you, no doubt gearing up to try and calm Clay's mom. "Listen to me."
"No, you don't understand. He's not just my son. I was a kid when I had him."
"He's gonna be fine," Sam assures, shifting her gaze between Lilith and you, nodding her head. Your nervousness is probably written all over your face.
"We've grown up together. It's me and him," Lilith continues.
Sam has a contemplative look on her face, and you find yourself having deja vu. You take this as your opportunity to offer Lilith some comfort and advice, much like you did with Clay earlier today. Although, that seems so long ago now.
"He's not gonna die. Not now, not today," you say as you turn your body towards her. Confidence—or something—must overtake you because you find yourself reaching for her hand, feeling the slight shake in them. A mother's worries.
"How can you be so sure?" She whispers, not pulling away from your light grip.
With all the sincerity you can muster you whisper to her, "Because he's got too much to live for."
You can see the shimmer of tears brimming Lilith's eyes as she takes in your words. In an instant, you feel her squeeze your hand, no doubt trying to thank you for your words without having to actually say so, her voice unreliable at this point with the amount of emotion lodged in her throat.
You simply nod your head, letting her know you understand completely. What you said isn't bullshit, it's genuinely how you feel. It's clear as day that Clay is surrounded by two women who love him very much. There's no doubt in your mind that he laid down on that operating table today with every intention of waking up and going back to them.
The thought squeezes your own heart that you fought so hard for. To love is to be loved, and you're happy that Clay has a good support system around him to guide him through what is no doubt going to be hell for a little while. You remember your own restless days and recovery process. Lilith and Sam may not know exactly what Clay is gonna go through, but you're sure they'll do all they can to help him.
*****
You're the first to notice Dr. Harper walking towards you along with the doctor Sam was talking to earlier. You lightly tap both Lilith and Sam with each of your hands to grab their attention. This is it.
"So?" Lilith questions after getting to her feet. Harper immediately shakes his head and your stomach drops.
"He rejected the heart." Four words. Four words is all it takes to completely throw you off balance. "We did everything we could, but the organ failed, and I am so sorry."
No, there's no way.
You feel Sam fall to her seat beside you and you wonder how it must feel for her. She married the love of her life not even a day ago and in just a few hours she lost him. You can't imagine a worse heartbreak.
"The organ failed?" Lilith questions, disbelief evident in her voice.
"Yes, it wouldn't respond to the procedure. But in cases like this, it's not uncommon for—"
"Don't you mean you failed?" Lilith cuts him off, and you can tell at any minute she might lose it. You can't blame her, you'd do the same in her position. You're positive Dr. Harper did all he can to save Clay, but this was a risk you were all well aware of. You just never thought it'd actually happen.
"No, we...we did everything that we could. It's just an imperfect procedure." Harper shakes his head and you can tell by the look on his face that this has broken him just as much as the rest of you. You don't know him or Clay that well, but it's clear they had a genuine friendship. He will never recover from this.
"Say it," Lilith bites out.
"Say what?"
"I wanna hear you say it. I wanna hear you say you failed my son." Dr. Harper stands there in shock as Lilith walks away from him and sits on the opposite side of the aisle of chairs. "It shouldn't have been you. It should never have been you. I fucking knew it."
"I'm sorry, Sam." Harper whispers before slightly turning and barely meeting your eyes. "Y/N."
He leaves the room and all that's left is you, Sam, Lilith, and the doctor Sam was talking to earlier. You find yourselves in utter silence. No other sounds can be heard besides the distant noises of other lives being saved and others being unfortunately lost. You think about how many more families will be devastated tonight just like the Beresfords. The thought pains you.
"I'm afraid we're gonna need your permission to take him off bypass." The doctor's words cause you to glance up at him. He stands tentatively at Mrs. Beresford's side.
"What?" She asks, looking over at him with tears streaming down her face.
"We'll need your permission," He says again, taking a seat next to her. "I'm so sorry to have to ask."
"I don't understand," Lilith shakes her head. "He's alive."
"Yes, but his blood's being pumped by a machine. He has no heart."
You squeeze your eyes shut, hating the image that's planted itself in your mind. You've seen countless people be put on bypass, it's your job, but it makes you feel sick to think about Clay being in that position with no way out. His chest open on that table with no heart inside to make him better again. You hate it. He deserved better.
"Then get him another heart," Clay's mother demands, not understanding the full severity of the situation. There is no other heart. You've heard enough about Clay and his case to know this one was a miracle as it is. To get another heart on such short notice, whilst also not having Clay on bypass for too long a time, is impossible.
"You don't understand. His blood type's too rare. We don't have one. I'm sorry. It's over." The doctor explains softly. Lilith merely thanks him before standing up and making her way to the corner of the waiting room, scarf still clutched in her hands.
"I'll be in the hallway," the doctor says before walking away form you all.
"Lilith," Sam says as she gets up from her seat.
"Could you leave me alone for a minute?" Lilith stops her in her tracks, not wanting Sam's comfort right now.
"Okay," she complies before walking away, going who knows where.
For a moment it's just you and Clay's mom. Nothing is said between the two of you, but just by looking at her you can tell she's struggling to keep it together.
You stand, taking a small step closer to the woman before softy calling out her name. "Lilith."
Suddenly, her eyes narrow slightly, a look of determination overtaking her grief-stricken features. "I'm going to the cafeteria. I need a moment alone."
She doesn't even await your answer as she swiftly makes her way around the chairs and towards the hallway, but not before snatching Sam's purse out of one of the chairs. You don't even question it at this point, you'd do just about anything else before standing in the way of a grieving mother.
*****
Time passes, and that nagging feeling you had earlier that something is severely wrong comes crawling back. Lilith still isn't back from the cafeteria yet, and you haven't seen Sam since Lilith asked her to leave.
You do the only thing that feels right. You go after Lilith. She's Clay's mother. If something is going on, she'd be the only one you could trust to tell you the truth. You need to talk to her, see if she feels the same way. You don't understand how this all could've gone south so fast.
Quickly making your way to the cafeteria, you looking around at all the tables and chairs, trying to find Lilith as quickly as possible. When you do finally spot her, what you see has your breath catching in your throat.
"Lilith!" You cry, rushing over to her secluded table. When you reach her, she's just finished shoving multiple pills in her mouth. You recognize the bottles as the same ones that fell out of Sam's purse earlier. Lilith has taken Clay's medication. She's trying to OD. "What have you done!? I need to get help."
Before you're able to rush off and call someone over to help you, Lilith has her hand wrapped around your arm, stopping you in your tracks. "No! Please, don't."
"Why are you doing this? What's going on? I came to find you because I think something's wrong with what happened to Clay but-but-" You feel tears start to brim your eyes. Even though you hardly know the woman before you, you can't imagine her taking her own life. The pain she must be feeling is insurmountable, but she can't do this. She can't.
"Let me explain, please. I don't have much time." Lilith urges you to sit down and you do so immediately. The quicker she gets out whatever she needs to say, the quicker you can go for help and save her life. There's no way you're losing both Beresfords tonight.
"What is it?" You urge, leaning towards her in your seat, the anticipation and stress eating you up.
"I had a feeling something was going on, I knew it from the beginning, but I kept telling myself I was just paranoid. My suspicions were confirmed though when I found this." Lilith pauses to reach into Sam's purse, pulling out a small stack of envelopes and handing them to you.
"What is this?" You look down at the letters Lilith has given you and your eyebrows furrow in confusion when you notice Sam's name on them. Except, on each letter, she has one of two different last names. On some of her letters her name is Samantha Lockwood, but on others, specifically one from Varick University (a nursing school), it says her name is Samantha Tunnell. You feel like you're gonna throw up, quickly catching on to where this might be going.
"She's not who she says she is. It only took me a second to put it together after that. She's been to this hospital before. Think about it; the vending machine she somehow knew how to work? The nurse asking if he'd seen her before? Her saying one of Clay's doctors didn't work at this hospital? How would she know any of that stuff? I don't know the exact specifics, but they're all in on it, all of them! They tried to kill my son, they are killing him unless I do something about it."
"Lilith, I'm sorry there's nothing we can do. There's no other heart for Clay. His blood type—"
"Is the same as mine."
Lilith's sentence sends your mind reeling. Suddenly, the picture becomes clear.
She's going to give him her heart.
"Lilith, if what you're saying is true—"
"It is, and I need you to let me do it. I've already called Dr. Neyer, he's on his way to perform the transplant, I don't trust anyone else. It's happening and it's happening fast so please, listen to me. I need you to do me a favor, Y/N."
You're stunned silent. There are no words to describe what's happening right now. It was just supposed to be a heart transplant. The anticipation of waiting for Clay to make it out on the other side was supposed to be the most nerve-racking event of the day, but suddenly his murder plot is.
Trusted medical staff. His best friend. His wife. All in on it. Your stomach churns and your heart races, but as you stare at Lilith, you realize just how serious she is. How dead set she is on changing the story these horrible people have written.
Gone is the poised woman who was married to a business tycoon. What remains is merely a mother doing everything she can to save her only child. You'd find it admirable if you weren't already feeling so frightened and worried about it all.
What she's set in motion cannot be undone, and as she stares at you eagerly, hoping you'll agree, you can't help but to take a leap of faith and do just that. "What can I do to help you?"
"Hold onto those letters like your life depends on it. Give them to the police directly the minute they get here. She cannot and will not get away with this. None of them will. But most importantly, what I need you to do is look after my son."
Lilith reaches out and grasps your hands in hers, much like you did earlier when you were assuring her Clay would not die today. Unlike earlier, though, her hands are no longer trembling. She is the most stoic you've seen her all day, and her determination is slowly but surely rubbing off on you.
"Lilith, I—" You can't find the right words to reply to her with. Obviously turning in evidence to the police is a no brainer, but looking after Clay? A man you met not even 24 hours ago. Your heart knows it's right, but your head is trying to reason otherwise.
"It's okay, I know it's a big ask, but please Y/N. Clay will have no one else on his side after tonight. I know you just met me, just met him, but for some reason I trust you wholly. I can tell your heart is pure. You stayed by Clay's side just for the mere fact you wanted to be there for him. You know personally what he's gonna go through after he wakes up from that surgery. I have no one else to turn to, no one else to ask. I know it's not fair of me, but I need you. He needs you."
Your heart swells. Emotions run wild through your mind, only one thought clear amongst the chaos. You have to do this, you have to do what she's asking. You want to. God knows no one else will get it all like you do. No one else will understand Clay and be there for him to answer any questions he may have. You truly will be all he's got.
With tears slipping down your cheeks, you nod your head. "Yes, absolutely. I'll do it, Lilith. I promise I won't let you down, I won't let Clay down."
"Good," she smiles, her eyes starting to droop closed. No doubt the concoction of pills she downed working their way through her bloodstream. Any minute now her body will shut down. Her heart will stop beating. She'll never wake up again. "Now hurry. Go find Neyers. He should be here any minute if he's not already. Bring him here and make sure he gets started right away. Clay doesn't have much time."
Noting your head, you stand up from the table, removing one of your hands from Lilith's grasp to wipe away your endless tears. Before you can take back your other hand, Clay's mother squeezes it tightly, causing you to look directly at her.
"Thank you," she whispers, her body slumping back in her chair, her head beginning to lean on the wall to her right. "Clay deserves someone like you."
You smile weakly at the woman, your heart squeezing for more reasons than one. "Goodbye, Lilith."
The older woman lets go of your hand and uses it to prop her head up. To anyone walking by she just looks like a tired loved one, looking to pass the time in the hospital cafeteria. But you know what's really going on. You watch as her breathing slows, her chest rising and falling less and less as the seconds tick by. It'll be any second now, but you can't bear to witness her final moment. Instead, you do as she asked and haul ass to the hospital entrance, looking for the man who's going to save the life of the Beresford heir.
*****
Knowing Clay was going under the knife a second time was no easier than the first time. Dr. Neyer is an incredibly capable doctor, but considering the events of today, you could say you're still a bit uneasy.
There was no way you were going back to that waiting room from earlier, you'd rather walk around aimlessly for hours instead of reliving those moments again and again in your mind. You're beating yourself up over the fact you didn't truly notice anything was off earlier. If you just would've trusted your gut feeling a little more or asked a few more questions, maybe things could've been different.
You shake those thoughts away, though, knowing there's nothing to be done now. What's done is done and all you can do is hope and wait for Clay to get out of that surgery safe and sound.
After meeting up with Neyer and the police, you discovered they already caught Puttnam and Penny. They're still looking for Harper and Sam, but you're sure they'll catch them soon. They're in this hospital somewhere and there's no way they're coming out of it without wearing handcuffs. There's officers at every exit, so it's just a matter of time.
Your sadness and confusion has morphed into anger now. You feel betrayed for Clay and his family, and you feel betrayed for yourself for the fact these doctors you trusted turned out to be nothing but heartless, greedy monsters. These people who you looked up to, who you wanted to be like, are nothing but frauds.
Heat starts to travel up your neck, and the feeling only intensifies when a loud noise ahead of you catches your attention and you spot a familiar brunette trying to open a locked door.
"Hey, Mrs. Beresford," you call out, Sam's head instantly snapping in your direction. "Or should I call you Ms. Lockwood? Or Ms. Tunnell? Or I know! How about just Sam? Considering that seems to be the only name that stays consistent through all your different identities."
Samantha smirks as she stalks towards you, a look of smugness all over her face. It's hilarious how she clearly thinks she's won. If only she knew how far from the truth that is.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," she sighs. "All I'm doing is looking for some answers on my husband's death. I'm just the grieving widow, remember?"
Your blood boils at her comments. How dare she feign innocence when she's probably the one who killed Clay. Your mind goes back to when she was gone from the waiting room for so long, looking for updates on Clay's surgery. She was probably meeting up with all of them, planning on what they were gonna do next. It takes everything in you not to lunge for the woman before you.
"Cut the shit, Sam! I know what you did, and so do the police. Nice work on carrying around your mail with you. Couldn't even cover up your tracks properly. You'll never get away with this no matter how hard you try or how many fake tears you cry."
Sam's smirk falters. She knows she's caught. You can see the realization flash in her eyes. Her mistakes, her missteps, her failures.
"Oh, please," she scoffs, trying to gain back the upper hand. "And who are you, exactly? Nothing but a wannabe surgeon with a little crush on someone else's husband. Real nice."
"Yeah? At least I'm not a killer. And unlike you, I am a surgeon, which is more than you'll ever be while you're locked up behind bars." Crossing your arms over your chest, you tilt your head to the side and call over your shoulder, "She's over here, officers!"
Sam's eyes widen, quickly realizing you had her right where you wanted her. You saw the police officers coming up the hallway off to your right, you just had to buy them some time so they could catch up to you and arrest Sam once and for all.
Now it's your turn to have the smug look on your face as the officers rush past you and get Sam down on the ground. She never even had a chance to try and outrun them.
Walking over to the woman on the ground, you squat down to try and be more in her line of vision. You really wanna make sure she understands the words you're about to utter.
"Oh and, Sam?" You start, practically batting your eyelashes at her as she glares at you. "It's ex-husband now. And trust me, I'll take real good care of him for you."
The woman practically screams as you stand back up and turn on your heel towards the recovery rooms. Clay will be out of surgery soon and you wanna make sure you're there for him when he wakes up.
As you turn the corner, you spare a quick glance back down the way you came. Although you wish everything that happened today never occurred, it gives you great satisfaction to see the officers yank Sam up off the ground and practically drag her towards the exit.
Good, you think. She'll get what she deserves.
*****
After several more hours, you've found yourself sat in a recovery room. Finally.
Not long after the police apprehended Sam, they found Harper and arrested him. He was just sat in his office, evidence laid out on his desk. He was ready for them. If you had to guess, he's probably the only one out of that group who genuinely feels remorse for what they did. You find it hard to sympathize with him at this current moment, though.
Dr. Neyers informed you the surgery went well. They lost Clay right at the end but thankfully were able to bring him back one final time. He lays in front of you now on a hospital bed, the beeping of his heart monitor and his soft breathing the only sounds filling the room.
It's been a few hours since they brought Clay here, and you used that time to catch up on some much needed sleep after being up for nearly twenty-four hours. It was a quick nap, but you feel much better.
You're still trying to process everything that happened. Even with Clay laying here in front of you like this, you and him being the only ones in the room, it still doesn't feel real. Part of you thinks that maybe you'll wake up at any moment and it'll all have been a dream. Another part of you worries that it's all too real, and that there's a chance Clay might not wake up.
Dr. Neyers stopped in a few minutes ago and told you that Clay should be waking up any minute now. He might be a bit groggy but he would be awake nonetheless.
You’ve practically jumped out of your seat every other second since then each time you thought you saw movement. So far still nothing, but you’re hopeful it’ll be soon. You need it to be. You promised Clay’s mom you’d look after him, and you don’t plan on breaking that promise anytime soon.
Sighing, you get up from your spot in the chair next to Clay’s bed and instead take a seat to the left of him, your hip brushing his blanket covered thigh as you try not to fall off the side.
He looks peaceful as he lays there sleeping. So innocent from all the horrors that went on while he was in surgery. You dread the moment you’ll have to fill him in on all that happened. When you’ll have to tell him his mom—the woman he loves so dearly—is dead.
Emotion floods you and you try not to let it take you over. Instead you reach forward and grab Clay’s right hand in yours. His skin is warm and soft under your touch and you find comfort in it. You hope that when he does wake up, he’ll find comfort in yours too.
Rubbing your thumb back and forth over Clay’s knuckles, you look over at the EKG machine he’s hooked up to. His heart rate is steady, strong. You’re glad he made it out of the surgery, it’s rare people make it out of one transplant, yet alone two on the same day. Clay’s strong, you know he’ll get through this. He has to. His mom died to save his life and you don’t know a worse tragedy than one where neither one of them makes it out of this. The thought alone—
Your head snaps forward instantly. You wait a second and when it happens again you know you’re not just imagining it.
Clay’s hand squeezed yours. Twice!
Leaning forward, you watch as Clay’s eyes shift back and forth under his eyelids before finally, finally, they open. Immediately you’re met with two pale blue eyes.
He’s awake.
“Clay,” you whisper, not wanting to startle him. His eyes quickly find yours and you smile as you feel him squeeze your hand again. “Hey there. You’re okay, it’s all gonna be okay.”
Clay tilts his head to the side and you watch as he feebly attempts to sit up, no doubt trying to get some water. He winces and gives up immediately. You know that pain all too well.
“I got it, it’s okay. Don’t move.” Reaching over, you grab the small cup of water you poured a bit earlier incase Clay wanted it when he woke up. You hold the straw for him and bring it forward, allowing him to take a few sips. He tilts his head back when he’s done and you place the cup back on his bedside table.
“Thank you,” he croaks out, his voice raspier than normal. Even though you figured that would be the case, the deeper sound still takes you by surprise. You try not to take enjoyment in the sound, all things considered.
The blonde clears his throat and reality hits you as you realize you’ll now have to do the thing you’ve been dreading; telling Clay everything. You’re not sure where to begin, but you figure the beginning is probably the best place to start.
“Clay,” you say, uneasiness already settling in your voice. “I have to tell you something.”
A beat passes and as you go to continue, Clay beats you to it. “My mother is dead.”
Your eyes widen at his words. “How-How do you know that?”
He closes his eyes and takes a breath before saying, “I know everything. About Jack, Puttnam, and Penny. About-About Sam.” Pain crosses Clay’s features, but you’d bet anything that this time it isn’t physical. “When I was under, I wasn’t actually asleep. I don’t know how to describe it other than saying it was an out of body experience. I saw everything, heard everything, felt everything.”
“Oh, Clay,” you sigh, your heart breaking at his words. Immediately you know what he’s referring to. Intraoperative awareness is rare, and to think Clay was experiencing it during one of the worst possible surgeries and during one of the worst possible times absolutely blows your mind. What did he ever do to deserve this?
“What do you remember last?” You ask him. You don’t want to push Clay, but you need to know if there’s any gaps you need to fill in for him. Does he know he’s safe? Does he know everyone who tried to hurt him last night is never going to get near him again?
“The last thing I remember is talking to my mother,” he says it almost as a whisper and the sound nearly brings tears to your eyes. “She told me what she did, what she asked you to do. I get why she did it, but God, I just—“
Clay cuts himself off, tears beginning to fall from his eyes and down his pale cheeks. The sight tears you in two and causes tears of your own to fall.
“I’m so sorry, Clay.” Your voice cracks, the ability to hide any emotion completely disappearing. You reach out and brush away some of Clay’s tears with your thumb. The man practically melts into your touch and you find yourself wanting nothing more than to just wrap him in your arms and tell him it’s all gonna be okay.
“Did the cops catch them all, at least?” There’s resentment in his tone that you don’t blame him for at all. You can’t even begin to imagine the betrayal he must feel right now.
“Every single one of them. They’re all on their way to the station right now if they’re not already there. The evidence is solid, they’re never gonna see the light of day again and if they do it’ll be when they’re old and gray. You’re safe, Clay. I promise you that.”
The businessman nods his head and you can see him relax a little bit more. Silence settles over the two of you again, but it’s comfortable. Clay has also retaken ahold of your hand and this time he’s the one rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.
Even though he’s the one that’s been through hell, he’s trying to comfort you. The thought makes you chuckle lightly and Clay smiles at the sound.
“Before all the doctors and cops realize I’m awake and start flooding in, I just wanted to say thank you and I’m sorry.” The blue-eyed man looks at you sincerely and you find yourself trying to hold back a frown.
“Clay, you don’t have to thank me for anything, and you have nothing to be sorry for. You had no control over what happened to you, over what these people did to you and your family.”
“I know, but you also didn’t have to get wrapped up in it. I should never have asked you to stay earlier. You were going home and I should’ve respected that and let you go. And my mother asking you to look after me? It’s too much, you don’t deserve—“
“Clay Beresford, stop it right now. Don’t you dare feel guilty about anything. No one forced me to stay here and no one forced me to accept what your mother was asking of me. I did it all on my own. The first time we spoke I told you that no matter what I’d be here for you, in whatever way you may need me, and I meant that. No matter what happened or no matter what will happen, I’m here for you and I don’t want you to ever feel like that’s a burden on me. That you’re a burden on me. We met for a reason and even though what’s happened after that is horrible, I will never take that for granted. I care about you, Clay, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop.”
Clay just lays there and smiles up at you, reveling in the passionate look on your face and in your eyes. He saw it yesterday when you guys met and talked about his fears and thoughts on the surgery. He admires your ability to speak your mind and stand up for what you believe in and how you feel. People like you are rare to him, and he feels incredibly lucky to have found you.
“You don’t know how badly I wish I could hug you right now.” The two of you burst into laughter but Clay’s laughs are suddenly cut short when he groans at the ache in his chest. “Ugh, I’m definitely not gonna get used to that.”
You try to tame your laughter, not wanting to trigger Clay to start laughing and hurt himself again. “Trust me when I say it’ll get better…eventually.”
Clay smirks before sighing, his eyes finding yours. “Seriously, though. Thank you for everything. I can’t imagine not having you by my side right now or what would’ve happened if I didn’t have that conversation with you yesterday. I hope you know how much I appreciate you, no matter how little time we’ve known each other.”
Heat rises up your neck and into your cheeks at his kind words. To think this is where you’ve found yourself when you didn’t even personally know this man twenty-four hours ago. It’s funny how life works sometimes. “You’re welcome, Clay. I appreciate you too.”
As if on cue, there’s a knock on the door and not a second later Dr. Neyers walks in, clipboard in hand. “Good morning, Clayton. We have a lot to discuss.”
Clay nods his head and the two of you share a look. Clay would never say it, but you know he thinks it’s best if he handles this part on his own. He and Neyers have a lot to go over and you’re sure the officers that were walking around the hall earlier will be in to speak with him soon as well. You’ll be here when he needs you, though. You always will.
“I’m gonna go grab something from the cafeteria. I’ll be back, but call me if you need me.” Clay nods his head and you quickly grab his cellphone from the table before placing it next to his hand. That way he won’t have to try and reach for it if he does need you before you get back.
Dr. Neyers gives you a small smile before you walk out of the room and close the door behind you. The click of the door handle fills the silence of the empty hallway and you find yourself grateful for it. You were worried your coworkers would be standing around waiting for any and all updates on Clay, and more specifically you and Clay.
When you were making your way to Clay’s room after the surgery, you caught a few of the nurses and other residents whispering to each other in the hall, no doubt trying to figure out why you’re suddenly involved in Clay’s case. You definitely can’t wait to see what the story is when you come back to work tomorrow. This hospital sure is gossipy.
The walk to the cafeteria is peaceful, though, and that’s only broken when your phone starts buzzing in your bag. You reach in and grab it and nearly laugh out loud at the message on your screen.
Jill:
Umm why did I just overhear people talking about you being here all night with Clay!? What happened, is he okay??? And why are there cops all over the place??? Fill me in on everything!!!
Oh, God, you think. Where do I even begin?
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manias-wordcount ¡ 7 months ago
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Hi I wanted to say I adore your blog and a lot of your content. I was wondering if I could please get headcanons of Joker, Akechi, Mello, Denki, Kirishima and Link receiving a bouquet of flowers from their partner as an act of affection and gratitude towards them and how they’d react. Men deserve receiving flowers too! I’d love to see their reactions! Thank you ❤️
Giving Him Flowers HCs (Akira Kurusu, Goro Akechi, Mello, Denki Kaminari, Eijiro Kirishima)
𝗔/𝗡: 𝗶 𝗱𝗶𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝘀𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝘅 𝗶 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮 𝘀𝗶𝗻��𝗹𝗲 𝗛𝗖. 𝗛𝗼𝗽𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆 𝗶𝘁 𝗲𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝘆!
𝙒𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚? ⇒ 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩
𝙟𝙤𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙧?
𝙗𝙪𝙮 𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙚?
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Akira Kurusu
He’s so charmed by you LMAO
Like it’s so cute and he’s really happy !!!
The second you hand him the flowers he’s wrapping his arms around you all tight and giving you like a thousand forehead kisses
Probably just holds you a long time too as if you’re about to leave him for a while (because you were totally not just  about to go upstairs to take a nap in his room while you wait for him to finish covering for Sojiro)
Since moving to Tokyo, he’s been able to develop a lot of good relationships with others so he has plenty of good people in his life
But you showing up with flowers for him so randomly really just made his feel so fuzzy and warm inside
(Especially because he was having a particularly hard day but hadn’t told you about it yet)
Chances are, the flowers stay down in Leblanc because the attic is too dirty and dark
But he doesn’t shy away to from telling everyone who exactly gave him those flowers
Because for him, it’s not the flowers themselves that make him feel happy- it’s the fact that it’s a simple, beautiful, and meaningful gift coming from you <3
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Goro Akechi
He’s a little hesitant to accept at first
(He probably is with all forms of affection but that’s neither here nor there)
He admits he’s a bit surprised but pleased when you randomly bring him a bouquet and say you were thinking of him and wanted to surprise him
But he really didn’t think that flowers were something that men would get randomly from their S/o
But you know him all too well, so you’re able to ease him into the idea that he deserves gifts and surprises like random flowers because he’s a great boyfriend and everyone should receive flowers every now and then - even him
So he does end up accepting the flowers after getting just a tad bit emotional and raw with his feelings
Eventually, he ends up taking it to work with him after you suggested it might brighten up his office!
Of course, the flowers bring a lot of attention to him because ‘Whaaat?? What do you mean the teen detective is dating someone??? Since when??’
And of course, he has to start explaining bits and pieces of his relationship to his coworkers which he doesn’t love
But if he has to talk to these people about anything, he’s a bit glad it’s just bragging about you
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Mello
Maaannnn Mello is such a huge asshole - imo nobody should get this bitch flowers smh
But chances are, your gift of flowers is either 
A) immediately getting knocked out of your hands or B) immediately getting tossed in the trash (IN FRONT OF YOU)
He’s probably a little smug about seeing your little quiver and you grow upset about what happened but he doesn’t do anything more than that except laugh along with his lil crew
It takes finally being alone for a little bit to reflect on how what he did being fucked up to you
So by the next day, the flowers are gone from where they were originally left, and in his bedroom with plenty of water and tons of light and flower food bc he feels so bad
And chances are, you have a bunch of your favorite candy or treats being delivered to your door because no way is he gonna apologize in person (mans got a reputation to uphold)
So a guy like Mello  doesn’t deserve flowers, but he definitely doesn’t deserve you either
But he knows better than to make a similar mistake in the future
 You are the only one who always believed he was number one at everything - even when no one else did 
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Denki Kaminari
He’s probably weirded out at first because????
Because what guy gets flowers??? Girls get flowers lol, not tough guys like him 
But once you started telling him why you wanted to get him flowers and why you think it’s dumb that only girls get flowers because boys deserve to get pretty things and to feel special too he started smiling like a big idiot
You just seriously made him so so happy and feel so lucky that of all the people he tried his luck with, the one person he really wanted wanted him back lol
That said, giving him flowers (and no written instructions or reminders) was a bad idea lol
Probably because he doesn’t know what to do with them LMAO
Like totally forget to give them water until it’s almost too late
And then immediately almost overwaters them
But hey! He’s happy and he’s trying lol
And he’s always remember the fact that you did this for him <3
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Eijiro Kirishima
Takes it like a king LMAO
Though it probably helps that you got him a bouquet that was similar to one Crimson Riot was awarded at a banquet one time
And that you added a couple of flowers that all had “manly” meanings
So he feels sooooo honored- especially since these flowers were sprung on him on the blue
Probably accidentally gives you a poke with one of his spikes when he comes in for a hug LOL
Either way, this moment was a big form of reassurance
Not just as your boyfriend, but as a hero and a person
Of course, you gave him endless compliments when you presented him with the flowers
But it just felt like proof that he was really improving and coming so far compared to the person that he used to be!
And proof of how much you love and adore him of course!
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hailtothepumpkinqueen ¡ 1 month ago
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Headcanons for the Shane Stardew Valley that lives in my Switch because I wanted to put them down somewhere lol 💙🐔
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•He's 35 years old. When Farmer tells him that's not old he replies "Old for a gridball player" and shrugs. (basing this on mid-30's apparently being old for a lot of sports lol)
•Definitely not as "weak" as he thinks he is either. The man helps Marnie around the farm, including hucking around heavy bags of animal feed and hay. And probably hauling heavy boxes around JojaMart. So great upper body strength, just gets tired and out of breath more easily than he used to.
•Strong arms and soft tummy 👍
•5'7" but wishes he was at least 6'1". A little insecure about it, especially since Farmer is taller than him.(she's 5'10")
•Favorite color is blue 💙
•His last name is Cooper. (Purely because I find it funny for him to have "coop" in his name. Like chicken coop lmao)
•Ears are pierced. I imagine 10mm gauges and two other piercings. Doesn't wear them super often, but enough so the holes don't close up.
•I think he'd be a Taurus. Stubborn but also down to earth.
•Started showing signs of depression as a teenager, but got dismissed as being "moody" and "lazy".
•Both parents had issues with alcohol and were distant/absent. His dad physically distant, as he was gone a lot and often came home drunk. His mom emotionally distant due to untreated depression.
•Leaving Shane to care for himself a majority of the time. So lots of microwaved pizza rolls and frozen dinners.
•Started drinking before the legal age because there was always alcohol in the house.
•Has not spoken to either parent since he moved out.
•Gridball was initially a good distraction for all the shit going on in his life and a way to get out of the house. Discovered he had a genuine love for the game and was really good at it. Good enough to play for the varsity team in college.
•Definitely a bit of a hot shot in college. Pretty popular for his goofy and easygoing personality and had a lot of friends(including Jas's parents). A few flings and serious relationships too.
•Ended up tearing his ACL, which put an end to his dream of going pro with his gridball career.
•Which exacerbated his depression and worsened his dependency on alcohol as a coping mechanism...which lead to a pretty bad breakup with his partner at the time. (This literally came to me in a dream lol)
•Light sleeper, particularly sensitive to noise. On top of having trouble sleeping a lot of nights because his brain won't shut off. Hence why he'll have a beer or two before bed, it helps him sleep.
•When that doesn't work he goes on walks. Nighttime is a preferable time to walk anyway because less chance to run into someone and have to make annoying small talk.
•Has dark circles under his eyes pretty much all the time due to lack of good sleep.
•Runs hot, basically a walking space heater. Which is great in the winter but MISERABLE in the summer.
•Was the best man at Jas's parents' wedding.
•And one of the first people to hold Jas after she was born. He was afraid he'd drop her or something and in awe of how tiny she was.
•Loves that little girl SO much, but when her parents died...he was in no position to be taking care of her. Not with his worsening depression and even worse alcohol dependency. So he signed over custody of her to Marnie, who was more of a mother figure to him than his own mom ever was(In my head, Marnie is Shane's mom's older sister).
•Used to spend summers on Marnie's farm as a kid. It was a nice break from his home life and gave him things to do.
•Was living with Marnie and Jas for about 6 months when Farmer moved to Pelican Town.
•It was his idea to pay rent, because he'd rather eat his shoe than feel like more of a burden than he already does.
•Listens to predominantly rock, but secretly knows the words to a lot of pop songs thanks to Jas.
•Lets Jas paint his nails or put makeup on him. Will wear the nail polish until it flakes off, no matter the color or glitter content.
•Has an armband tattoo of fairy roses around his bicep. For Jas, obviously.
•Definitely friends with Emily (they swap bird facts and just vibe) and and considers Sam a work friend(absolutely talk shit about Morris when not talking about music). He just seems to attract bright, friendly people lol
•Not a people pleaser by any stretch of the imagination (there's a reason he stocks shelves instead of being behind the counter at JojaMart), but loves making the people he cares about happy.
•Him being standoffish and prickly is definitely a defense mechanism. Can't get hurt again by losing someone if you never get close to them in the first place, right?
•Can tell when it's gonna rain because his bad knee starts hurting. When Emily teasingly calls him clairvoyant, he goes into a spiel about the scientific evidence that the drop in barometric pressure affects joints and it's not magic. It's basically an inside joke between them.
•Swears like a sailor but tries to censor himself around the children. So "sugar" and "fudge" and "son of a biscuit". Lot of food words lol
•Walks quietly. Accidentally scares people all the time because he just "appears out of nowhere".
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oursecretways ¡ 5 months ago
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Hello!! ☺️
Could I please get #7 with Lee Know 💕
No pressure at all!
7. He calms you down while you're having a panic attack
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idol!Lee Know × fem!Reader note(s): ahh of course lovely, hope you enjoy it, I really tried ngl lmao😭 I just love writing gentle and caring Minho content, he can be a bully, but we all know he is there to help anyone he loves 😌 hope you enjoy it ♥ it became a two parter because apparently you can only have so much characters in one tumblr post it is a two parter genre(s): fluff, angst word count: 1.1K (the two part together) warning(s): reader having a panic attack, strong language, toxic work environment being called “baby” and “love” a lot
masterlist ║ invisible ask game ║ part two
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It was the most typical day at work: working your ass off so someone higher above, or some older colleague can steal your work, but what made it even worse that your work bestie can’t be here, since she went overseas with her family… “Lucky her” you think to yourself, as you come back from your lunch break, which you wished you wouldn’t have done. Looking back you should’ve said that you aren’t feeling well — which to some degree was true, you know one of those days when everything seems suffocating, much, much darker, and one ugly tone, and you break… yeah it was one of those days. As you sat down at your desk to continue your market research needed for your company new product. Man, you wished you would do what actually excited you: creating the product itself based on the research, but you are only a researcher, which is way more stressful than you like to admit to anyone, especially your boyfriend Minho. You two met him when you first moved to Korea — because you were always fascinated by the countries’ culture, and it was a childhood dream of yours to move to Seoul. Unbeknownst to you, that meant that you meet with a K-pop idol that happened to be your ideal man. When the two of you met, you did not know much about Stray Kids, only heard their song called Hellavator. But now you are a fully pledged STAY, teasing Minho that Ji is your bias every time you get the chance — even tho he secretly agrees and tells you that Han is his bias too.
Once everyone got back to their respected desk, your boss called you into his office, “Y/N, please come, I need to talk to you.” You already know it probably won’t be a talk of a lifetime, especially that he has been even a bigger prick than usual, because your department haven’t been meeting the monthly quota. Making Mr. Whang’s life harder than he would want it to be. “Yes sir? How can help you?” you asked sincerely. You felt your throat dry, and tried to focus on your breathing, believing it to be a little nervousness. The nicer you can act, the easier he would let you off… at least that was your oh so naive thought. He made sure that you know where is your place: six feet under him. He made you feel like you should crawl, especially that you accused his great friend, an honest, hardworking colleague, of stealing your assignment. And you tried to explain it to him that there has been injustice, because he did, in fact, steal your presentation that you have put countless all-nighters in, but he just kept on going. Even scolded you about being so uptight and a prude, how women nowadays suck “Woman nowadays don’t get put into their place well enough. I am sure if I would be that boyfriend of yours, I would teach you to know where is your place.” After that sentence, your view started spinning, as you became very dizzy. The autopilot mode been turned on, and you were agreeing with all he said, but in reality you couldn’t been further away from reality. “You can go, don’t bother for today, you are seemingly useless, not even saying what you think, all you can do is agree, truly useless. I don’t even know how they can hire an intern like you.” You felt as if your chest closing up by the time you got out of his office. If anyone tried to call your name, you couldn’t hear it with your heart beating loudly in your ear. Without noticing, you went straight to the dance studio, where your boyfriend of many years tries his best to come up with new choreography for their comeback. You knew he is alone because Hyunjin is on a fashion show and Felix is in the studio recording his parts.
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jazzyblusnowflake ¡ 10 months ago
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do u have any headcanons for Nuzi? sorry if you've already written about this before and I just didn't see it-
Oh boi anyone here into silly headcanons? XD ill put them under the cut just in case cuz i write a loooooooooooot lol
i usually just make headcanons as i go with my fics, its hard to think about for them specifically but here i go trying, hope you enjoy uwu
Some Nuzi Headcanons i got ĂšwĂş:
[for the drone universe ofc, some of my human HCs don't work in the drone universe sadly lmao]
considering this is at a time where they would become official or heck maybe the tragedy ends and they are happy together or something:
Uzi loves calling N "Puppy", sometimes she would also call him "Sunshine" or "Angel" but her & Ns fav would be "Puppy". however N usually doesn't call Uzi many nicknames other than "Zi" rarely- and maybe occasionally "Birdie" when they are more lovey dovey- he's more into pet names like "honey - darling - sweetheart - etc" and not much of a tease... although at times when they get a bit more spicy and he DOES want to tease- he could go towards names like "lil biscuit", "baby bat", "my lady" and etc but again, very rarely 6v6;;;;
they both had to download helpful content on how to flirt 🙄 although they caught on pretty quick lol.
N is subconsciously protective of Uzi, often curling his tail around her without realizing it, or stepping in front of her; but Uzi is consciously protective of N- especially when he's being bullied or degraded- she would cut off anyone's conversation if they were talking about N badly with something like "oh stick a fork in it J-" before changing the subject-
Uzi is actively a smartass sass mouth- she just never really had the confidence for standing up for herself- but with N she's grown to be a bit more confident in herself- and yet N has never seen her be aggressive to HIM lmao- and then when he sees how sometimes she absolutely drags some other drones he has to literally pick Uzi up from the scruff of her coat and tell her to please be nice XD
Uzi and N are absolutely, hopelessly touch and affection starved- this makes them get really cuddly as a way to recharge themselves emotionally. occasionally they just sit next to eachother without words and rub their heads against eachother like cats and sometimes Uzi just sits on his lap and randomly starts prepping his whole face with tini kisses- as if to say mine mine mine- and N is... well just sitting there wagging his tail like an excited puppy :D no words needed between them, just healthy and wholesome touching, cuddling and affection from eachother-...... i mean it could get spicy too- lmao 👀 cuz Uzi really loves taking off Ns hat for more comfort and just threading her hands in his hair- sometimes tugging gently to tilt his head for a more firm and heartfelt kissing and makeout sesh- they rarely get that needy but N happily reciprocates and his grip on Uzi's body/hips tightens pulling her flush against himself more-
at the beginning they are both a flustered mess doing or saying anything romantic but then Uzi started liking teasing and flustering N at any chance she could take. N is just too easy and too smitten for her.
N also occasionally gets the confidence and mood to be more forward and assertive and teasing Uzi over things he knows she's into and Uzi is absolutely into that shit- she's sat 😤
they do share oil sometimes through bites or kisses- but usually that's only when they feel extra frisky lmao-
Uzi gets easily embarrassed during intimate moments and since contact and touching easily discharges their power as sparks, Uzi often uh.... ends up with multiple soft-reboots or powering on and off which kinda overheats her body and CPU alot lmao-
they like drawing and listening to music together- Uzi actually likes watching N draw even if they look amateur and childish- she finds them extremely cute and hangs them up in her room when he draws for her <3
they did NOT start out sleeping next to eachother well. Uzi has nightmares a lot, and even without them she still moves around frantically and is just never in the same position when she wakes up, meanwhile N sleeps like a dead person, he hardly moves and he got used to the pose of crossing his arms on his chest so yeah... dead pose lmao. this made him get kicked alot or shoved in the slot between the bed and wall often- [if he didn't sleep on the other side and just straight up get kicked off the bed anyway]😭. even at times when he decided they could sleep hanging from their tails Uzi often still found herself in the middle of the night hanging haphazardly, limbs and wings in every direction and clothes riding down which made N almost start laughing when he woke up seeing her like this 😭😭😭. in the end one of the ways they ended up making Uzi sleep alot better was cuddling. N would just hold Uzi close, if hanging he would put his wings around them. Uzi would resist and push against him alot at first but slowly after time her nightmares subdued and she felt calmer sleeping at night.... also they put a cork or something on Ns tail when they sleep lol-
All drones, disassembly or worker, can make their cores whirr in a purring noise, its just that its louder for disassemblers, the noise of Ns core helps Uzi relax <3
Uzi can lift N very easily, straight up on her shoulder even.... and somehow N is very turned on by this as she could easily carry him around bridal style if need be- esp if she gets jealous of N interacting with others and just throws him over her shoulder and leaves- or uh.... yknow, if Ns hurt or something, yep 6x6;;;
Uzi is also turned on by the fact that N is so much bigger than her. they be casually sitting and inspecting eachothers hands and Uzi's is smaller and she just blushes fervently imagining all the things she wants his hands and claws to do to her.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND thats about all i can think of atm without spoiling much of my own future ideas lol, hope it wasn't too annoying, but i really enjoyed writing this uwu<3
hope yall enjoyed it too if you made it til here :p
i diiiiid wanna include some nsfw hcs too but im gonna keep this ask as sfw as possible for now. 😇 those would be nsfw specific hcs anyway lmao
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yan-lorkai ¡ 1 year ago
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.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ This hasn't requested but bro I so love him, even more in nightbringer. Platonic or romantic Solomon is quite interesting character, plus I just know that his lessons would be chaotic like one moment your learning abt magical healing spells or smth and the next he pulls out a dragon egg for you to care lmao
.⁠。⁠*⁠♡ Warnings: Yandere content, possessive Solomon, platonic relationship.
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You may be young, but even you could see that someone like Solomon was very secretive and that it had been a long time since he had created any emotional bond with another human or living being, he didn't even know how to develop a true friendship with someone without any other intention. Solomon is a kind mentor who likes to tells silly jokes while teaching you about protective barriers, how to manipulate the elements of nature or travel through the rifts of time and space but sometimes he has difficulty expressing what he thinks and feels.
Solomon acts with extreme patience and care when teaching you, ensuring that you fully understand the subjects and constantly testing your knowledge with questions and surprise attacks. For someone everyone thinks is shady, he is sweet and easily adapts his teachings so you understand them. Solomon also loves listening to your questions and he answers each one carefully. Though do be careful, he tend to pinch your cheeks or do something annoying at every wrong answer you give.
As time passes and you become closer, Solomon resembles more an older brother than a mentor and he takes advantage of this to tease you and play small pranks to scare you. He becomes absolutely unbearable. But he is also your own cheerleader, encouraging and motivating you, and listening to each of your complaints and fears without judging you, especially if you feel insecure, in your own words, that you're still weak compared to him.
Despite the comfort offered to stop these thoughts, Solomon actually enjoys knowing that he is potentially stronger than you. This means that you still depend on him, you still need him and Solomon is extremely protective and possessive of you, he doesn't have many people in his life and he doesn't want to lose you. He values ​​your happiness above all else, but a happiness that you should share only with him.
He is always alert to any situation that could jeopardize your safety, Maybe one of the reasons why he only teaches you the theory but doesn't show you the practice if there is a chance of you getting hurt in some way. He could even use his magical abilities to create a rift in time-space to build an environment that was safe and nothing and no one could hurt you, a perfect environment and if he wasn't so weak because of your puppy ​​eyes he would have trapped you there a long time ago. But he can't.
Not when he wants your physical and mental safety, and arresting you would affect you negatively. Solomon feels conflicted about this, but know that he is always there for your.
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yanaleese ¡ 11 months ago
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if ur fine with nsfw asks, could you maybe do some nsfw headcannons for karma? <3
maybe just the basics like dom/sub, how he acts in the bedroom ect ect (can u tell i never send asks HELP 😭)
if not that's perfectly okay! some sfw ones could be cute too, like his favorite way to cuddle or his love language??
anyways im obsessed with him and had to send in an ask 😪 thank u for blessing me with this wonderful man
LMAO no problem! Also Anon I feel you with the obsession...my friend and I were both simping harder than our willpower to do our exams 😭😭😭😭
Also since this is the first NSFW ask I've decided to split this up into separate posts later on+ a little art to tease your weak heart ❤️. Please enjoy reading what's under the cut.
Content warning: FEMALE reader, HARD explicit smut, detailed kinks such as impregnation, overstimulation, all that good stuff. Please note that this is for 17+ audiences only.
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"WAIT! KARMA! THE CAMERA-"
CRASH!!!
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Karma Sangre - Normal NSFW:
When Karma is calm and collected, he's the one usually in control. But if you want to play the dom in the relationship, he's happy to step down! Just make sure you let him know, otherwise he'll take that as a challenge and his excuse to fuck the living shit out of you.
Usually before things get steamy, he'll be worshipping your body with kisses and teasing you with all kinds of lewd words from A to Z. When he's horny, he's a lot more talkative, which makes both his raspy voice and soft lips a dangerously sexy combination. It gets even worse when his steamy voice presses against your ears, tempting you into giving in to his lustful wishes.
Once he hears you plead in sexual frustration, he'll begin licking and biting his favorite spots - your earlobe, your tits, your neck. He especially goes after the neck, making sure that your collarbone is left with some bloody bites.
After littering your body in saliva and bites, Karma will book a one-way ticket to Pussyland. To him, missing out on stimulating your clit is missing a chance at seeing you squirm, moan and whimper just by his tongue alone. The piercing on his tongue doesn't help either, as it quickens your climax even further.
Satisfied seeing your pussy drenched in his saliva and your cum, he'll kindly rub your entrance slowly, starting with one digit, and eventually his entire hand. Well, that depends on how long you want to play the 'tough girl' act.
If you decide to go down that route, say your prayers, because your pussy is going to be obliterated...with toys. What, did you think disobedient girls like you get cock? Please. If there's one thing Karma can't turn down is a challenge. By turning down Karma, you lose your privileges of being his personal fleshlight. But hey, at least you can be his personal toyfucker instead!
Now if you decide to be docile, and play the "good girl" act, you can kiss your legs, your pussy and your pride goodbye. With that 7-inch erect cock, your folds will be spasming and tightening so much that it'll drive both you and Karma mad. The poor mattress will be creaking constantly as that veiny cock of his pounds fucking deep into pussy, begging to cum straight into your fertile womb.
Whilst you're struggling to take the pleasure, Karma will be busy murmuring in Spanish about how good you feel as he holds your legs over his shoulder, his huge hands rubbing and licking your aroused nipples before burying his moans in it with words like "Te amo" + "Ven conmigo" and so much more; Duolingo would be so proud of you!
When you're both about to climax, he roughly grabs your chin, pulling you in a tongue-twisting kiss. From the kiss alone, you can already feel your eyes rolling to the back of your head, barely registering the warm, gooey liquid dripping from your pussy to your twitching legs.
As you try to recover by taking deep breaths, you're hit with the reality that your amazing, horny boyfriend is (un)fortunately an amazing bodybuilder with more strength and stamina than your body can take.
Staring at him with a mix of lust and horror, you whine and mewl, sounding like a dying cat. Yes, you loved this sneaky bastard - but dear Lord you needed a break.
"Sleep, Mami. You'll need it." He slurs while caressing the top of your head, playing with a strand of hair. You felt your eyes beginning to close, blotches of darkness dotting your vision instantaneously, as if on command. Narrowing your eyes, you swore you could see his eyes peeking out of his bangs, revealing his dazed yet sinister gaze.
"Because it's a going to be a long night for you and me."
<>
To learn more about Karma, go here!
If you want to see more Karma content, head over to my inbox!
And thank you Anon, for sending in this ask ❤️.
ALTERNATE VERSIONS - LIGHT VER. + TATTOO-LESS VER.
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aingeal98 ¡ 2 months ago
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Since you mentioned Reverse Robins au.
I was wondering, if Cass was around for Garzonas incident (happening mostly the same as canon) and had somewhat bonded with Jason at that point.
How do you think she would react to it? Especially since Jason is claiming he didn't kill him?
(Something I am weirdly invested in my own brain's Reverse Robins AU)
Ooh really good question! The immediate thought I have is that Cass would change the nature of the story significantly, because the initial emotional hook relies on the uncertainty of whether or not Jason killed that man. He claims he didn't, Bruce isn't sure, the first big crack in their relationship is formed.
But Cass just... Wouldn't accept that ambiguity. She'd read Jason's body language and decide for herself whether he was lying or not. And so you end up with two potential storylines.
Option 1: Jason didn't kill Garzonas. The man fell to his death. Bruce being Bruce he could find a way to still make this about how he doesn't trust Jason even though he believes Cass when she tells him he's innocent. Because while Bruce and Cass are similar in moral code they do have a key difference with how they approach others with that moral code: Bruce treats his allies as a part of his mission to control. If Jason failed to save that man that means Bruce failed in trusting him. Jason wasn't good enough and Bruce is doing something wrong because Robin should be good enough always. There's a core emotion here of a father genuinely concerned with the mental wellbeing of his son after a traumatic incident but the chances of Bruce actually being able to address that instead of processing it through the lens of The Mission and Batman and Robin are uh. Slim. Meanwhile Cass... Doesn't really expect the same of her allies? If Jason failed to save Garzonas then that's not on him for not being quick enough to save him, it's on Cass for not being there. Jason is Jason it sucks that he wasn't quick enough to stop Garzonas from falling but he's not a good enough fighter to be responsible for every life. That's on Cass. Equally as unhelpful to Jason emotionally but this difference in viewpoint means there's likely to be friction between Bruce and Cass because Cass would feel compelled to defend Jason. He tried to do good, doesn't that count for something? And Bruce would point out that a man is still dead and Cass would take that to heart because she takes everything related to death to heart. Meanwhile she'd be utterly useless at comforting Jason because Jason would be feeling incredibly hurt and angry that this was even a point of contention when the man was so horrible and Cass would do her usual "Maybe he could have changed 🥺" and Jason, hurt and defensive, would snap that he didn't kill the man but he's glad he's dead. So ultimately you end up with all three family members upset and betrayed and not talking to each other until someone (probably Damian) comes around to lecture some sense into Bruce before he loses two more kids.
Option two: Jason did kill Garzonas. Bruce immediately starts spiralling and getting concerned about how Jason is doomed by his bad childhood to be innately violent and evil or whatever classist bullshit he tends to fixate on instead of showing concern for what his son has just been through. Meanwhile Cass... Wouldn't be as betrayed as she was when Kate shot Clayface but she still would be hurt because Robin killed a man... Robin thought this man deserved death, does he think I deserve death too? (The answer is obviously no because no one except for Cass would argue that she and Garzonas are morally alike but lol. Lmao. Good luck getting her to accept that.) She wouldn't be on board with Bruce's concerns because she believes that everyone can change but her insistence of this combined with Bruce's attitude would probably grate on Jason because why does he need to prove himself a good person for letting a rapist fall to his death? Maybe Garzonas should have had better balance if he was going to be such a piece of shit.
So interestingly enough despite Cass removing the ambiguity from the situation I don't think there's a way for her to make the situation better and not worse. Especially since she would be around the same age as Jason. Even if she wants to support him and tell him he's not a bad person she wouldn't have the emotional clarity or the correct mentality at that age to comprehend the root of his hurt and would probably just make him even more depressed because not only is Bruce judging him but Cass is supporting him for all the wrong reasons. Because the point isn't about whether Jason did or didn't kill Garzonas the point is that having to confront and then try to save such an evil man before watching him fall to his death is a very traumatising situation for a child to be in and the last thing he needs is judgement on his morals, regardless of whether it's Bruce's concern over Jason's true nature or Cass's self assuredness that what happened was Bad but it doesn't mean that Jason is Bad. There is no one in that house who would go "Hey maybe this evil man's death really wasn't the main problem here and wasn't a definitively Bad thing that Jason must be judged for one way or another." and so Jason would likely feel the same way he did in canon even if the insecurity was no longer from Bruce not believing him, but instead from his reaction to the truth.
Thanks for the ask! I hope this makes sense lmao I had way too much fun teasing through potential outcomes.
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classicanalyzer ¡ 14 days ago
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Skeleton Crew - Very Interesting, As An Astrogation Problem
"The truth! The truth is, I'm just like you! Okay? I'm lost. I'm alone." Jod Na Nawood
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Episode 3 continues to keep the momentum and peak quality of the premiere up!
We finally got to see KB's parents (I love that they're her moms), and it will be interesting to see why her moms put cybernetics (one of the functions is a life monitor, and apparently, she needs medical needs) in KB. I wonder if the cybernetics might be due to an accident or a birth defect. I love how KB stands in for people with disabilities. I hope we get to see more of Wendle's story and maybe even some backstory for him.
I love that KB got the most focus after the first two episodes didn't really go into her. I love the subtle insult about the chances Job isn't a Jedi given her knowledge of the Jedi is from the OR Era when the Jedi were much more numerous.
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Similar to the Acolyte, I really appreciate the show for not trying to delay the obvious mysteries like making it clear Jod is Captain Silvo and how he's intending right now in the story at least to try to find the treasure on At Attin. Also that Battle Droid asking if they won totally gave me Jedi Survivor vibes with another Droid asking that same question haha.
I really love the visual effects, especially the owl alien Kh'ymm later on. The budget for Kh'kymm visual effects is on-par with the movies, and honestly this show has a lot more movie quality than Ahsoka.
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Jod needs to respect droids and soon. SM-33 is always a gem and he has a good keen on Jod's untrusty nature. I'm glad we got to see how Jod is a genuine Force-user (Jude Law has already confirmed he is genuine about his Force-sensitive status). However, Jod might be old enough to have been around during the Clone Wars, which would make his prejudice against droids make sense.
I really love that Kh'ymm is an actual good being, and she thinks Jod kidnaps the kids when we know it's the opposite case. However, she is right that Jod does have ulterior motives. It's nice to see some genuinely nice beings in this galaxy. Also, her Observatory looks so amazing.
At Attin, one of the Jewels of the Old Republic is definitely from the actual Old Republic which makes me pretty excited. I thought we would need to wait until the MMO dies to see Old Republic content but I'm glad we're also starting to dip into the Era. I like the concept of hiding away certain worlds akin to time capsules unaffected by the outside galaxy. I'm going to guess those Jewels were destroyed by the Sith, the Nihil, the Clone Wars, and definitely the Empire. The more I think about it, At Attin and the Jewel world are the equivalent of a Fallout Vault. It makes me wonder if there's smth more malevolent to the world: What is At Attin's experiment lmao.
It's so weird in a good way to see the kids not know about what's going on since their isolation such as not knowing about how rough Coruscant got it post-war and Alderaan's destruction...God that's going to be awkward when the kids know what happened to Alderaan and the wars since their isolation. Can't wait for Wim to learn about Order 66.
My theory is whoever the Supervisor and the govt is that they have some access to the outside galaxy and they might've taken some things from what's going on to spin it into their own ideas (like Soh's Great Works to describe part of the Great Work of keeping the Barrier up).
I love and find it hilarious how KB and Fern end up turning Jod's idea of being partners and whether he works for them. Such a power move by those kids and I love to see it haha. While Jod didn't tell the kids the complete truth, I think he is telling the truth about him feeling lost and I hope we get to see his character development over the series (I'm a sucker for the heart of gold character growth, especially during this time where we need those feel good stories). I wonder if he really is a Jedi dropout or a former Padawan. I can't wait for Episode 7 to give us more on his character like Jude Law promised.
I hope Neel gets to be more independent over time, and this is hopefully the first step. God, I love how the Onyx Cinder looks after looking at the brick abomination of a "ship" that is the Trailblazer, haha. It also feels weird to see the kids firing on NR ships, but I like how the X-Wings pilots were worried about the kids. I also like how they were using ion shots since they weren't trying to destroy the ship but disable it. I hope we see more of Kh'ymm haha. I also think the ruined world in the trailers could be one of those destroyed Jewels of the Old Republic.
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"He got us this far. But I don't trust him. Not really." KB
"What did he tell you? 'Trust your gut'? Use your head. Get the truth. And if you ever need help, you can call me anytime." Kh'ymm
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beemers-hell ¡ 5 months ago
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Like you did with Doc, can we get your Tricky headcanons please (smiley emoji)
Same format as last time then!
Tricky HCs!
Around ~60-65ish
AMAB gender whatever, doesn't really give a fuck to label himself anything specific Period, he uses "clown" to refer to himself in both the first and third person anyway
Around ~6'07"ish
Mexican (I'm not projecting)
The only thing Hofnarr had going on with him in life was being autistic asf which led him to being very skittish and socially withdrawn but academically superior, and being autistic still applies to Tricky, though he doesn't face the same challenges nor have the same academic desires he did when he was alive bc of him lowkey being a reality bending God atp lmao. He can do whatever he wants now so if something clashes with the autism negatively then he can instantly get rid of it (I'm not projecting)
Aside from that, the only afflictions he's got going on are what you'd expect of a fuckin 60 year old rotting zombie lol
He is still the genius he was when he was Hofnarr! And he's not trying to hide it or anything like that! His interests have just shifted from the academic world to frivolous things that bring him instantaneous satisfaction, like DJing and Partying and Killing People, obvs lol. This isn't to say he doesn't still get enjoyment out of flexing his brain and putting his smarts to use, he just acts much more on impulse and short term dopamine rushes, as opposed to how Hofnarr acted mainly on careful methodical planning and long term dopamine cycles.
He had a thing going on with Jeb when he was still Hofnarr, though neither of them really "pursued" it in a very Definitive or Official capacity. It was very much a "What are we?" kind of situation ykwim. He did of course care very deeply for Christoff but Jeb was too emotionally closed off to truly let him in like that, so it was mainly relegated to chance intimate moments and the occasional heat of the moment "incidents" lol, but they missed out on something real. Tricky, even now, knows there's a part of him that still feels that way for Jeb but he knows damn well that they're not gonna have what they could've all that time ago, so he's more content to just playfully tease him and dick around and get on his nerves than pursue something more, Jeb can't keep up with Tricky's insanity the same way others could. This esp applies in dad au, where Jeb is essentially Boxxy's second dad since he helped raise her, but he's not "with" Tricky like that.
Despite what you'd expect of a homicidal freak like Tricky is, he's incredibly social and down to hang and do whatever cause he's always in search of a good time! Except if he's pissed off about something with Hank or the AAHW but I digress. Dude fuckin loves clubbing and headlining sets for them, he loves breaking it down on the dancefloor, of course half the time he parties it ends in him fuckin massacring the joint he's chilling at but tbh, maybe you just need to get used to the "killin" part of "chillin n killin"
The visual of the static and words that pops up around him in the series obvs is just a cool visual thing with him but I like to think that he can just like…do that shit lol. Like if he so feels inclined, he'll project screams and static into the minds of people, which effects them in such a way where their brain functions are numbed to hell and they practically cease being able to make decisions, form thoughts, or even use brain power to move their bodies n shit, and they're just subjected to internal screaming in addition to whatever the fuck Tricky feels like doing to them.
Whenever he scuffles with Hank, he Especially tries to not use any cheap tricks to get a leg up over him, bc Hank is one of the few people who can actually give him a challenge in a fight and that makes things WAAAAAAY more exciting and fun, so doing some underhanded shit he could easily pull bc of his reality bending powers just makes shit less fun, and he values fun over anything else. Unless Hank actually manages to piss him the fuck off during a fight, in which cause He won't give a fuck anymore, and he'll go full fuck it we ball mode n try whatever to kill his ass, like going flame demon mode n chasing him n shit like that
When he talks he audibly uses tone indicators out loud, like verbally saying "slash J" or "slash Joke" out loud when he speaks. he doesn't do it to be courteous or whatever he just thinks its sounds funny as hell
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kimbapisnotsushi ¡ 1 year ago
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it's akaashi's birthday!!! you guys know what that means!!!!!!!!!! have some timeskip special headcanons about akaashi and co. let's go!!!!
i think akaashi deserves a spin-off about his misadventures in the manga department honestly
gekkan shoujo nozaki kun. sekaiichi hatsukoi. bakuman. there is a lesson to be learned here people!!!!!
tenma gifts him a planner for his birthday and the first thing he does after opening it is mark all of tenma's deadlines. which he also has recorded in his phone calendar. AND he has them memorized. AND on sticky notes scattered throughout the office
tenma: you know i got you this planner so that you wouldn't have to put sticky notes everywhere, right? akaashi, sleep-deprived and running on five cups of coffee: time waits for no one, udai-san
the office has a special "akaashi keiji emergency rest kit" for when he falls asleep at his desk
it's got a blanket if it's cold, a pillow they tuck under his head, a bottle of water and snacks they leave next to him if he gets hungry/thirsty when he wakes up, and an eye mask that they put on him after they take off his glasses
idk i think the whole office really loves akaashi
and he really loves them back!!!! they're a team!!! they work together!!!! deadlines might be hell but at least it's a hell they're united in!!!
akaashi finding love and contentment and happiness in a place he initially wasn't sure about is everything to me okay
also i think he wingmans tenma and akiteru. i think it'd be very funny.
akaashi knows it's bad when he catches tenma drafting a whole new romance plot and he's like "udai-san. please. you have something due in five days you canNOT be doing this right now"
honestly akaashi just wants them to get together so that tenma will stop being dreamy and distracted and ACTUALLY focus on getting his manuscript done on time
and then they DO get together and akaashi is subjected to even more dreamy sighs and staring off into the distance and whatnot
tenma is such a disaster you guys i love him
ALSO YOU KNOW HOW MANGAKAS HAVE A LIL MASCOT TO REPRESENT THEMSELVES IN THE AUTHOR'S NOTE. TENMA'S IS DEFINITELY SOME KIND OF CROW
someone asks tenma if he has a favorite pro vball player and tenma says "hinata shouyou" with the BIGGEST smile on his face and hinata almost cries
LMAO HOW FUNNY WOULD IT BE IF KENMA OFFERED TO BANKROLL AND DEVELOP A ZOMBIE KNIGHTS VIDEO GAME
i mean i barely even know what zkz is about but based on the title i feel like it'd make a good video game
yachi can help design . . . lev and komi can voice act . . . yes . . . it's all coming together . . .
NEVER MIND I KNOW WHAT IT IS I READ A TRANSLATION OF THE LIGHT NOVEL IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING THIS
he wrote zkz in a restaurant are you SHITTING me udai tenma i love you
so apparently it got discontinued?? instead of allowing tenma to finish it the way he wanted?? so when tenma hears that kenma wants to make a video game out of it he ends up in tears
kenma's like "well it might have failed as a manga. but i think it'd make a pretty good video game, if you want to help out with that"
god everything about it makes me want to cry actually. tenma who is still chasing after his dreams. and akaashi right there, learning how to be better. learning how to be passionate. learning how to give tenma his all. because he's TENMA'S editor and he'll be damned if he doesn't do it well.
udai tenma in an interview about meteo attack: "yes, i am sad i didn't get a chance to end zkz in a way that would have made me happy. it was my first series, and that's always going to be precious to me. but meteo attack is one i'm looking forward to. it's a story about learning how to fly, when everybody else has long since been trampling on your wings and telling you that you can't."
sorry i did NOT mean to get this emotional over them. but now i am. and i am going to be thinking about it forever
meteo attack def gets raving reviews from players in the pro volleyball league, especially from hinata shouyou
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thatdeadaquarius ¡ 1 year ago
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sleepy-apparition Submitted:
I have to say it, I can not stay silent any longer! Shenhe is one of the best characters for neurodivergent creator.
Just hear me out! Not only is also plagued with feeling like she's stuck between two worlds(being a human that was forced out of society and now has to ingrain herself back into society after living away from it for so long), her way of thinking and speech are perfect for someone who's neurodivergent(she's probably neurodivergent herself). She's VERY direct. You always know what you're gonna get from her. I'd be refreshing, especially after that awkward 'just became friends' stage.
Also Shenhe's like. One of the best bodyguards you could have, in any context. She's SUPER strong and quick, and she, technically, can follow you anywhere. Unlike Ganyu and Cyno(Who have high maintenance jobs) or Xiao(Who has a certain duty stopping him from leaving), there isn't anything keeping her in Liyue. I guess there's the chance of her red ropes breaking...but that's something she's been working hard on since she met the traveler. It's something she can work on with you. Plus, traveling with a partner might be good, for both the you and Shenhe. You get a friend who can protect you, and she also gets afriend, and crowd exposure therapy. Win-win honestly.
I might have put to much effort into this, but I need to talk about Shenhe and your ask box was closed. Your work is amazing by the way! It never fails to make me laugh or smile, so keep it up! You're doing great!
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GORGEOUS GORGEOUS WRITING ABOUT GORGEOUS GORGEOUS WOMEN ✨️💙
I love this, tho admittedly im head over heels for any neurodivergent content in sagau/genshin ever <33
THANKS FOR BLESSING MY EYES FIRST WITH THIS, it was an amazing read
You guys are always welcome to send in writing blurbs or any brainrot ur having, I love to hear it!! /gen :)
Btw, if ur wondering where ive been for the past week or so, ive been working on the one shot for Eldritch AU!
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⚠️WARNING talk of Covid/Sickness below!⚠️
...that and I got Covid 💀
My roommate brought it back with them when they came home,, last friday? I think
And i ended up getting a nasty fever on and off for 2 days straight
Im almost recovered now! Just a stuffy nose and no taste buds :'(
Which has been the most upsetting part i can BARELY taste anything
My sense of taste yesterday was the most there its been since i got knocked out last week, and even then it was at 1/4 rlly of the way there
Now im back to eating textures 😭
Been like this for 4 days now that im doing better/more cleared up its so unfair D;
Anyway, srry abt the complaining, just wanted to let u guys know whats up!!
Let me know if u got any getting taste back tricks 🥲
THANK U AGAIN FOR THIS.
Im serious this made my day to see <3333 😭
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Safe Travels Sleepy,
💀♒️
tbh i thought abt tagging beloveds so they could see this, but i didnt write it so i didnt wanna tag lmao
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betterfettered ¡ 2 years ago
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Hello! Are you doing alright? If it's ok, could I please request the brothers' reaction to their darling being a reincarnation of their s/o?
For context I imagine that they and darling would have probably had a relationship from back when they were angels, but it was cut short when darling died during the celestial war (probably either killed while rebelling or just didn’t survive the fall). However, after becoming demons, they met darling’s new incarnation, and the uncanny similarities led to both the realization of the reincarnation thing and also a really weird dynamic because, while it was a break up via death and not either of them actually wanting to stop being the other’s s/o, darling doesn't have any memories as their s/o since, y'know, death and all, so in their mind darling is basically like “Who are you and how do you know so much about me?” (Unless they wanna try doing some weird soul stuff to jog their memory but in obey me cannon it seems like memories from past lives are only recovered upon death so not sure how that would work out)
Also, I realize that this scenario wouldn’t really work with Satan due to him being the only of the brothers who isn’t a former angel, so you can feel free to not include him if you like! Thank you in any case, and I hope you have a lovely day!
Hello my dear sweet anon. This ask plays really nicely off of another ask I got and I sort of want to do them together because it was fun to consider both at the same time, so I'm going to smoosh them together if that's alright with you! Here that ask is:
a request 🥹 pov the brothers had a ONS with a vampire mc (who lives on earth, didn't get chosen for the programm but since the realms are more connected it's easier for them to travel between them because magic n shit) so how would they react if they heard rumors of them being a vampire and meet them again per chance?? also they could rival them in strength so how would their obsession go? sorry this is so long, this could be a whole fanfic on it's own lmao but i'm 2 lazy
This response will be a little unusual since it's a mix of ideas from both of these (e.g. it'll be a long term relationship instead of an ons, the angel will be a vampire instead, the brother will have become yandere after they became a demon), so if either of you don't like the way it turns out feel free to resubmit your ask and I can answer it on its own!
(Gn!reader x AMAB!yandere)(noncon)(gaslighting)(18+ readers only please, mdni)[This is fetish content and rape and abuse are disgusting and inexcusable in real life.]
Lucifer as an angel is about as proud as usual so I think he'd be kind of pissed about vampire darling being just as strong as he is LOL In fact, I can kind of see that being how the very beginnings of his obsession with this darling would form, he's training a lot so that he actually is stronger than they are and can put them in their place. He'd be very interested in vampire darling's life, I think, and not necessarily judgmental of it, similarly to how he was just curious about "Sully" in the first game after he cornered him for not being an angel.
Meeting an MC that was a reincarnation of his lost vampire darling, Yandere!Lucifer would probably try to play it cool at first, especially because the exchange program is so important for the devildom. As his obsession gets reignited, however, he is more and more likely to orchestrate a situation where MC is forced to stay by him and obey him, no matter how long it takes to do so. Because he "broke up" with vampire darling by them dying, he's going to be extremely controlling almost immediately, because he wants to protect them as much as possible. As usual, he isn't really all that concerned about your opinion on the relationship because in his mind you are meant to be together. If you're creeped out by him knowing so much - good. All the more reason for you to listen to what he says.
Mammon would also not do well with a vampire darling that's as strong as him and would constantly take opportunities to show off how strong he is or insist that he needs to do things for them because they are too dainty to do it themself LOL He would constantly ask super ridiculous stuff about vampire darling, including mixing up various legends and asking them stuff like if he should stay away during a full moon. At the same time, Mammon is pretty subby so he would be drooling every time they put him in his place.
Considering that Yandere!Mammon is already eager for any pretext at all to be all over MC, MC being his reincarnated darling will be license to do whatever he wants regardless of if he is explaining that to you or his brothers. He'll occupy all of your time and never leave you alone with any of the others, and at first it might be pleasant because Mammon is taking you to do things that he knows you like. Once it becomes clear how deep his obsession with you really runs, though, it would probably begin to sink in how creepy/unhealthy it is. Mammon also doesn't really pay much attention to the fact that he is further along in this relationship than you are. To you, he's a stranger; to him, you're a part of him. He'll be pouncing on you before you can even remember which room is his.
When he is an angel, vampire darling will probably the person who got the closest to Leviathan before MC -- he's so painfully negative after losing his purpose as admiral that someone sticking with him anyway would really open him up to a deep connection. It's so interesting to imagine this because before he cloistered himself away as an otaku, it would probably be possible for vampire darling to have a really normal relationship with a bf who seems just kind of reserved L)L As for vampire darling being stronger, Leviathan dreams of them stepping on him every day and could not be happier. It would probably take a long time for him to reveal all the little fantasies he has about both them being a vampire and being stronger than him, but he'd have them immediately .
No one can convince me that Yandere!Leviathan hasn't turned at least a third of his brain to applesauce due to extensive exposure to hentai, so I'm betting that he has already been taken with vampy kinks for a while when reincarnated MC shows up. He would feel so awkward and miserable when he realizes that he knows you and you don't know him, so his obsession with you would really grow in the dark of his room. Him looking at vampire dom/mes with glossy pleather boots and blood dripping down their bare chests and pretending that they are you. This would probably create a negative feedback loop where he says creepy things, you get a little weirded out and distance yourself, he craves your company and fantasizes about having it more, which makes him tell you creepy things about what he wants to do with you, which makes you distance yourself. He will eventually get jealous enough that he either locks you away from everyone else you talk to or he lashes out at you. He just wants to feel safe and wanted again. Whatever the cost.
(For Satan, we can just imagine it's earlier in his life when he's just learning about what feelings are vs. Later) Satan lowkey likes for his partner to take control, so wouldn't mind vampire darling being stronger as long as they don't tease him about it or flaunt it. In fact, i think he'd feel so much relief knowing that if he gets way too angry his darling isn't in danger, it would make him feel secure in a way he rarely does (read: in a way that he can grow addicted to). While one might expect him to read all he can about vampires to try and study them academically, I don't think Satan would actually look at vampire darling in that way. At first he just sees them as another creature in a world full of them, and by the time he feels gripped by the desire to know everything about them, he would already know a good amount about vampires.
With reincarnated MC, things would be awkward awkward awkward. Yandere!Satan will never know what to say or how to express himself around you, which would make him anxious as hell (read: angry). Because you'd always put him in a bad mood, I imagine your relationship with him would start as him bullying you because he hates that something about you always makes him act so odd. He'd also be so blindsighted that he would begin obsessively trying to learn about humans to get a better handle on the situation. If/when you submit to the bullying and let him have his way in all of your interactions, that is when you'll see the true yan tendencies start to appear. Now that you have accepted your place in the hierarchy, he can begin training you on other aspects of how he'd like you to behave.
NGL i am crying imagining reincarnated MC finally standing up to Satan and him just rolling over like a puppy because with vampire darling that was the way of things
Asmodeus is the ultimate switch so he would think a vampire darling that's stronger than him would be so fun to fuck. Trying to surprise and one up each other would be really arousing to him. But then the more mornings they spend together, cuddling and talking about nothing at all, the more he'd be entranced by them and want to spend more time with them (the more mornings they spend together). Meeting someone that felt superior to him in some way would make it so easy for him to get wrapped up in their relationship and grow comfortable with it.
Reincarnated MC fills an emptiness in Yandere!Asmodeus' life that he pretends he doesn't have, grief over losing vampire darling. He would likely be upfront that you are his reincarnated darling and that he wants to fall in love with you all over again; no reason to be shy since there's no one who can resist him, he's basically doing you a favor. If you say you don't want to be with him or he's scaring you or other "confused" things like that, it's fine: he doesn't mind persisting until you learn better than to say that you are not are in love with him. Eventually you will admit how you really feel, and he is willing to fuck you as many times as necessary to help you with your honesty :) Beelzebub would love a darling that's stronger than him because he'd want to train with them a lot. He isn't really competitive about his strength (yknow how in NB on the homescreen he compliments Diavolo on being strong and then says he wants to work out with him?) so he'd be really inspired by them. He doesn't see a really big difference between vampires and angels, except that maybe sometimes they'll need to borrow his blood? Imagine him really trying to eat as much as possible days before he knows vampire MC will want to drink his blood so he doesn't pass out and worry them. I can really imagine Yandere!Beelzebub meeting reincarnated MC, immediately treating you like vampire darling and hurting you by accident. He'd feel so, so guilty that he would stay by your side 24/7, and the entire time think about how fragile you are now and how easy it would be to hurt you. How you need him to protect you. At first, he'll just want to know where you're going, then he wants to walk you to and from every where you go, then he'll want to keep an eye on you 24/7, then he'll just want you to stay in his room where you're safe. Belphegor would be immediately delighted by a vampire darling, because he loves new experiences and people really different from himself hence why he loved visiting the human world so much. That difference from himself is what would make him more drawn to them than normal, almost to the point of fixation, but he'd be mostly manageable as an angel because of his milder personality. He doesn't mind vampire darling being stronger than him at all; he didn't particularly pride himself on his physical strength any way.
When reincarnated!MC shows up, Yandere!Belphegor would set up romantic dates between the two of you so he can refresh your memory of him, but he'll get frustrated pretty quick when it doesn't work as well as he wants it to and you don't fall as madly in love with him as he is with you. Belphegor is one of the most likely to express his obsession insisting on being cruel to you just to make you feel small and his. I think he'd express his frustration that things aren't easy between the two of you by trying to break you and make you cry, at least until he feels like you're taking him seriously. I hope you enjoyed!!! These asks together were so interesting to think about, and really picked my brain. Send in more asks, my ask box is growing empty!
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quinnonimp ¡ 3 months ago
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whatre ur thoughts on canto 5 (so far) i need to hear it
OKAY SO gathering my thoughts on it is difficult unfortunately since i focus on getting through all the gameplay first, theeen go back to reread the canto to fully focus on whats going on u_u but !!
the intervallo was fun !!!! lowkey wish it was a real beach episode but obviously that would never happen in limbus (made me want to draw a real one though) . the 3 scrapyarders have a fun dynamic w the team & it was as cute as intervallos usually are (i really love intervallos .. & just general side content . i eat that shit up)
as a splatoon fan ofc ill like the sea aesthetic of it all .. rip ishmael she wouldve loved splatoon . plus fish ice cream is a funny idea im glad charon enjoyed it lmao, was nice to know that her & verg hung out in town
fun to hear saude is alive ! im not particularly attached to any of the npcs but im glad she got promoted . the lccb guy w brown curly hair looks like me and i was surprised when he showed up
i found ishmaels behavior & mindset pretty interesting ! to me shes sort of in the middle tier of characters-i-like - but so far this canto has written her in a very effective way, and i appreciate characters that have an extreme sense of determination & care, and her quest for revenge is compelling
yi sang being seasick is terribly relatable it made me like him more LMAO . i enjoy how much more talkative he is rn even if i dont have a deep connection to his character . my feelings on him after canto 4 have definitely improved (he used to be at the bottom tier together w 2 others 💀), & also bc i got his walpurgisnacht ID and im a huge funeral of the dead butterflies fan ..
I HATE RICARDO 😭😭😭😭 yes its a skill issue . but i also dont rly like his character i dont think hes that funny . being stuck on his stage was genuinely frustrating esp with the thought that the final boss of the canto is gonna be even more difficult . sorry . i know a lot of ppl love him and im sure his stage was fun mechanically to someone
the scene where we learn dante has a self destruct button was so much less sad to me than it shouldve been bc when it was explained i got mega distracted thinking abt barbwire (my oc) ..... woops .. still really liked that scene though . dante holds the number one fave spot together w don for me so im always invested when we get focus on them, and this in particular was impactful, especially with faust being clear about their chances of survival in that moment and the indigo elder telling them to "get used to the idea that not everything can be brought back" . themes of permanence & temporariness are super appealing to me and i love extracting that out of dante
when the indigo elder got revealed i was immediately like "oh yeah dons gonna freak tf out with 2 whole color fixers on the same bus" . i was right . she shouldve been allowed to have a way bigger reaction though i mean this is a huge deal .. anywho i like him ! he might be the npc i find most intriguing so far, and im very interested in seeing him & ishmael interact more
so yeah uhmmmmmmm thats what ive got so far while doing a mirror dungeon . im at 5-32 (shoutout to my friends list for getting me past 5-30), so once ive finished the canto i might add onto this post if u wanna hear more or ask specific things !
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neurotonic ¡ 9 months ago
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Auuu...for the ask game: number 9 and/or 16 with starstruck or roxanix your choice
@enhanced-operatives-division
YEAHHHH I'll do both of these questions for both of these ships. I cannot be Stopped. ONCE again this got way too long so.. answers under the cut! [questions from here!]
JUNICRANE / STARSTRUCK:
9. soulmates by fate/chance or by choice? I think they're soulmates by choice! They had to work hard to get where they are right now...They didn't think they were destined for one another, especially with the circumstances of their first meeting (for Reggie at first, it was all but an impossibility: an actor falling for one of his fans? That's ridiculous! and a Zoraxis operative falling for an Agency handler..........)
When they saw each other as equals, when Juniper actively makes amends, that's when they felt things finally click. I think they'd both find it special because of the work they both put into getting closer to one another.
16. three to five non-sexual acts of intimacy. I think at the start Juniper would be the type to buy a lot of gifts for his partner...but since he doesn't have that amount of money by the time he finds Reggie (in my head) I think he finds intimacy in talking about anything (like flowing discussions), doing chores together, and sharing things about himself. Being open about himself and his interests is a struggle, but he finds Reggie so comforting he allows himself to be...well, himself! It's nice. He also likes the rhythm of domestic life To Be Honest. He could be physically affectionate too, like he's a bit touchy-feely with Reggie. He quickly finds that doing this without a script is infinitely more enjoyable.
Reggie, on the other hand, also likes to talk and talk and talk about anything and everything, so at least they're both enjoying that. The thought that Juniper's actually listening to him makes him feel content. Once in a while he'll vent to Juniper--it's a little strange, but Juniper reassures him that he doesn't mind...before he starts to trash-talk whoever Reggie's having trouble with (reassuring...?). He's also very big on cooking/baking stuff for people he cares about, so he does that a lot for Juniper.. his calories....And of course, the classic: falling asleep together in each other's arms. Lol and lmao look at these gay guys
ROXANIX / KINETIC MOCKTAIL:
9. soulmates by fate/chance or by choice? Soulmates by fate, in the sense that they were each other's fated rivals (what's more homoerotic than kickstarting each other's character arcs lol), but the road to friends and lovers was chosen on purpose. They chose to stick together and save each other.........like COME ONNNNNNN!!!!
Obviously it took some time for Prism to get around to that point, but for Phoenix it was a faster choice, more for the fact that they don't have an ounce of vengeance against her.
16. three to five non-sexual acts of intimacy. For Phoenix, it's spending time to understand Prism's interests so they can help her work. They're her little science assistant :'3 It's a little slow-going for Phoenix, but they understand the important parts..........well. kind of.........BUT they're trying okay?? There's also an added bonus of listening to Prism's sweet sweet voice while she infodumps on them, which they love to bits. Additionally, they lovee trying to pull Prism back into bed so they can cuddle more (and also it's an effective persuasion technique for Prism to get more rest than she allows herself to). They're also quite silly goofy, I feel like they love cracking jokes and making Prism laugh. The corny ones get her the most and Phoenix is always so proud.
For Prism, I mentioned it earlier but generally being able to infodump about her interests is something she considers really intimate, and she appreciates that Phoenix listens to her every word. Her passions have been either rejected or used against her, so it's hard for her to find comfort in that again. But...she trusts Phoenix. Phoenix trusts her. It's okay. She also likes to return their warm ass cuddles. They both do this a lot, Prism more so--she kisses their scars a lot...reverently, like a reminder that she loves every inch of them. I feel like Phoenix is still a little insecure about them but that melted their fears real quickly. She's also very big on comfortable silence as well... just chilling. you know. after all the horrors they both deserve a relaxing time in one another's presence.
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