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cascowriteswords · 2 years ago

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hi everyone 👋 i wrote something [[the one where i found this in my google docs from months and months ago and finally finished it and accidentally created a teeny tiny fwb au]]

“Is this why you invited me over?”

Lexa humphs. She tries to take her phone back from Clarke’s grabby little hands but no luck; Clarke uses her shoulder to block her, shoulders rounding as she leans over the phone possessively like Gollum with a ring.

“It’s not, but - oh, wow, Lex. These are - these are really bad.” Clarke can barely get her words out around the laughter bubbling up from her chest. Lexa’s ears burn and her cheeks pink as she collapses back against the couch, half wishing the cushion would just swallow her whole. She crosses her arms and tucks her chin against her sternum, the definition of sulking while Clarke ridicules her dating profile. She swipes through profile pictures - the main one with Lexa proudly holding an 8lb bass she’d caught last summer, the next of her locked in an arm-wrestling match with Anya, another posing with Lincoln’s golden retriever puppy in the middle of a baseball diamond.

Lexa thought the pictures were good, making her look attractive and showcasing some of her personality - outdoorsy, athletic, good with animals.

Clarke apparently doesn’t share her opinion.

“The fish pictures. What is it with the fish pictures? I thought it was a straight white boy thing but. Well, you don’t quite fit that bill.“

“I’ve gotten a lot of matches and compliments on my pictures, thanks. Especially on the one with the bass. Can I have my phone back now?”

“Yeah, I see that. Hm, here - Kylie Jones. Has a boyfriend but wants to experiment if you can be discreet. She’s excited to have found a lesbian that isn’t so ‘butchy’ - her words, definitely not mine. And then Dana Walters, who has a Let’s Go Brandon t-shirt on in her profile pic. Really reeling in the all-around 10s I can see.”

“Alright, that’s enough.” Lexa lurches forward and catches Clarke by surprise enough to wrest her phone out of her hands. She promptly hits the lock button and slips it back into her pocket. “They’re not all like that. I’ve gotten plenty of perfectly nice, fully vaccinated girls replying too.”

“Why are you even on Tinder?” Clarke changes her line of questioning. “I’ve never heard of anything good coming from it. People just use it to hook up.”

Lexa shrugs. “Maybe that’s all I’m looking for. I’m not searching for love.”

Because she’s already found it. She exchanges a meaningful look with Clarke, who undoubtedly picks up on her unspoken thought. But Clarke had told her she isn’t ready to be with anyone, not yet. 6 months ago. And Lexa’s willing to wait - she knows that Clarke’s ex-boyfriend had cheated on her and understands that she isn’t ready to jump back into dating right away. But she’s also human and has needs and 6 months is a long time. So, Tinder.

Clarke looks thoughtful. She keeps staring at Lexa and Lexa stares back, not quite sure why her heart is beating a little faster in her chest. “So you’re just looking for meaningless sex? No strings attached?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“I can do that.” Clarke looks completely serious but Lexa’s certain she must be joking. She’d rejected her when she'd asked her out on a date all those months ago and they’ve been platonic friends ever since, and now this? She’s offering sex? Cannot compute. “You don’t need to go out and meet these random strangers. That doesn’t sound safe, or fun.”

Lexa can think of a dozen reasons that’s a horrible idea, starting with the fact that she’s in love with Clarke and Clarke is not in love with her. It’s a recipe for a disaster. “Uh, it’s nice of you to offer but -”

“Are you horny right now?” Clarke interrupts, effectively shutting Lexa up. “Because if I’m honest you’ve been driving me nuts in those jeans all day.” Her eyes rake up and down Lexa’s body and Lexa swallows, mouth suddenly dry. Clarke’s hand is on her knee now and she isn’t sure how or when it got there.

“Clarke, we really shouldn’t,” she says, but she’s unable to keep the hitch out of her breath when Clarke scoots a little closer, slides her hand a little higher. It could be a trick of the light but it looks like her pupils have gotten bigger, infiltrating normally-blue territory.

“You don’t want to?”

“You know I do,” Lexa laments. “It’s just that -”

“Feelings. I know,” Clarke sighs. She’s rubbing circles over the faded denim covering Lexa’s inner thigh now, absentmindedly. “So you’d really rather fuck some stranger?”

“Not at all,” Lexa admits. “But…”

“Maybe it would be easier than you think. To separate the physical from feelings?” Clarke suggests. Lexa’s pretty sure sex would just compound her feelings. She bites her lip, torn and uncertain. Her heart and her body want one thing but her head is warning her against it. “Okay. Okay, I’ll stop pushing, I’m sorry. I’m being an asshole. You said no.” Clarke says, smiling in a sweetly apologetic way. She pulls away and returns to her separate space on the couch, sighing, looking adorably flustered.

Flustered because she wants Lexa. Fuck. And Lexa wants her. So what are they even doing, sitting here feeling tortured? Her resolve breaks quickly. “Okay,” she says. Clarke’s eyes snap up to meet hers, full of question. “I know you said you’re not ready for a relationship right now, but if you feel like you’re ready to sleep together then we can try -”

Clarke is across the couch and in Lexa’s lap so quickly it almost knocks the wind out of her. Lexa had thought she was the only one pining and wanting and lusting after her best friend but despite Clarke’s rejection, she seems equally as desperate and frantic as she crushes her lips to Lexa’s. And fuck, it’s even better than Lexa had imagined it would be. Clarke’s lips taste like her vanilla chapstick and she winds her fingers through Lexa’s hair and Lexa has never felt so consumed by a kiss. So wholly unable to think of anything else, her pulse fluttering wildly as her hands find and settle on Clarke’s hips. Clarke reacts to the touch and grinds down and Lexa is briefly embarrassed by the moan that flies out of her mouth, until Clarke mumbles, “Fuck, that’s so hot,” against her lips. She nips at Lexa’s lower lip then, pulling it between her teeth and biting down just hard enough to sting, eliciting another moan.

Lexa normally prefers to maintain a little bit more control during sexual encounters, but with Clarke in her lap kissing her furiously and rocking her hips she finds herself more than willing to relinquish some control. Things move fast and slow simultaneously from there, time blurring as they lose themselves in one another, all roaming hands and hungry mouths. After an indeterminate amount of time Clarke reaches down and deftly undoes the button of Lexa’s jeans. Following a quick check-in to which Lexa very quickly consents, Clarke slips her hand under the elastic of Lexa’s underwear and runs her fingers through her, finding her already slick with anticipation.

“Fuck, Clarke,” Lexa gasps at the sensation, hips jerking involuntarily.

“I’ve got you,” Clarke murmurs softly, stilling long enough that Lexa opens her eyes, not quite remembering when she’d shut them in the first place. She’s not prepared for what she sees; the softness in Clarke’s eyes as they search hers, the lust and want clear in them but also something…else. Something she can’t quite put her finger on, and she doesn’t have time because Clarke starts moving again and renders her incapable of thinking of anything other than how fucking good that feels.

“I’ve got you,” Clarke says again, before leaning back in to swallow Lexa’s groans.

Lexa is fucked - literally and figuratively. Because the more Clarke says that, and the more Clarke keeps touching her like that, the more she realizes that ready for her or not, she’s already very much Clarke’s.

#what could go wrong!!#nothing of course #this was a very good idea #clexa #clexa au

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changingplumbob · 3 months ago

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Knightstone Household: Chapter 9, Part 8

The good thing about a day at home? Suzanna could normally fit in a workout. She hadn’t been able to run with the heavy snow but in the afternoon it cleared up. She had rung Ethelyn and convinced her to come and keep an eye on her sons, since it was the other alien who had passed along the bug. Suzanna was growing to like Chestnut Ridge. As well as the strong alien population the vistas were beautiful, and looked incredible covered in snow. She felt herself get the self discovery pop up and urged the watcher to choose yes, she was an active sim now!

When Silas had finished his piano practice he returned to his spot on the computer. It was his childhood ambition to max his mental skill and he wanted to get some practice in. Pol had picked up his tablet and followed his older brother. He was happily chatting away while Silas listened to his stories and theories about the human world.

Adam had a pretty slow day at work. Normally the winter months would see an influx of art to critique with sims trapped indoors but with the holiday season most artists were taking time off to be with their loved ones. After he finished his very brief list of tasks and done some self appointed research he’d headed to the office lounge. There he met Alexander and the two spent the afternoon discussing the latest festival turnouts and playing paper football. When he got back home Suzanna was busy in the basement but he heard laughing coming from the office.

Adam: I think too much fun is being had in here

Pollock: *almost dying of laughter*

Silas: Ah phooey, I was just doing my Donald Duck impression

Adam: Not bad son

Silas: Daddy, do you think we’re better at voices because we have to put on human voices?

Adam: That sounds dangerously close to a biology question and you know your Mummy is the one to ask for that. Come on, dinner time

The family grouped up in the dining room and Adam got a plate especially for Pollock so he could eat the same as them.

Adam: Are you feeling better now Silas

Silas: Yes Daddy, the stomach bug is all gone

Suzanna: Did you have a good day at work

Adam: Honestly me and this guy called Alexander were the only ones in the whole office, it was weird. He seems okay for a human, although he tried to ask me what my salary was about a dozen times. I think he’s a bit money obsessed

After Suzanna had given Pollock a bath and put him to bed Silas came and asked if they could make a snowpal.

Suzanna: I don’t know, you’ve only just gotten over your bug

Silas: I’ll wrap up warm, I promise

In the end Suzanna relented and the pair headed out the front door to a nice patch of snow.

Silas: Mummy did you make snowpals when you were my age

Suzanna: I’ve never been your age, I came into the world as a young adult with a backstory

Silas: *blinks in confusion* ...Mummy did you make snowpals when you were my age

The pair have managed to get a three level snowman by the time Adam comes outside.

Adam: Looking good

Silas: Daddy, Mummy has been telling me all about the watcher and mods

Suzanna: Just as concepts, not truths. I said it’s what I believe

Silas: What do you believe Daddy

Adam: That this world is far to complex to have been created by just one person, and if someone was deliberate about it then they did a bad job not leaving an alien colony on Sixam

Suzanna: But you can choose to believe what you like about how we came to be Silas

Adam: Indeed. It’s what feels right to you

Silas: I think I need to think about it more, but not now, because we made a snowpal!

Adam: And a very fine one it is to. Hey Silas do you think you could take a quick photo of your Mummy and I

Suzanna: Oh Adam I’m hardly dressed to impress

Adam: You always impress me, no matter what you're wearing, now come and smile that beautiful smile

Silas: Can we have a snowball fight Daddy

Adam: Sure, but no ice balls

Suzanna: I’d be careful Silas, your Daddy can have a short fuse

Adam: I’ll try to breathe. You don’t want to play

Suzanna: Definitely not. It’s much safer for me to lie here and make snow angels

The snowball fight was short. Silas’s third snowball hit Adam square in the eye and he called foul. He still gave his son a hug before sending him to bed though.

Suzanna: I love you in winter light, it brings out your blue

Adam: Well I love you in any light Mrs Knightstone

Suzanna: Flattery will get you everywhere

Adam chuckled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He ran his hand across her cheek and she swooned. When he pulled her in for a kiss she suggested they head upstairs to share their body warmth. Well Adam was not one to turn down a scientific proposal from his wife.

Previous ... Next

#sims 4 #the sims #simblr #my sims #ts4 #active simblr #R0909 #AdamKnightstone #SuzannaKnightstone #PolKnightstone #SilasKnightstone

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k-n-e-o · 10 months ago

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Nct Dream as high school students

This has been in my drafts for years! I’ve just reread it now and I think it’s pretty decent to post lol.

This is also mildly based off of my own highschool experience (which it’s now been years since I’ve graduated so obviously not current experience lol)

Disclaimer: this doesn’t have mark in it because he wasn’t back in nct dream at the time of writing, so I had it in my head that he already graduated and is in college

—————-

[ Renjun ]

This is used a lot but it fits him so well

He’s our little artist

Loved art class

Helps the drama kids make the props and costumes

Made a chair once for an art project, absolutely hated it (this was taken from something a friend of mine had to do once lol)

He was covered in black, red, yellow, and blue wood stain for weeks

He also smelled like saw dust for a while too

I think he’s the only one that would make and bring his lunch just because he doesn’t want to have to deal with the other idiots at the school during lunch

Him and the boys stay in the art room at lunch, it’s quieter

I want to say he’s the only one in the group that actually studies

But knowing this group of boys,

None of them are getting anything done lol

[ Jeno ]

We all know this boy is the jock of the group.

He’s also one of the responsible ones

Being the driver of the dreams carpool to school everyday

He also uses the schools fitness centre (basically a weight room and stuff)

Gets his lunch money stolen by Haechan all the time so he now brings double so he’s not asking Jaemin to steal stuff from the cafeteria

Track and field boy

Probably beats his own records every year

Also probably does football with Jaemin (spoiler?)

A goofball in all his classes, especially the ones he shares with Jaemin

Leaves little smiley faces on his friends work when they aren’t looking.

[ Haechan ]

I’m sorry but he’s a theatre boy

Auditions for all of the plays

Leaves his I.D card on the stage all the damn time

So he can’t sign out a computer when he needs one

Ends up using his phone instead and sometimes gets in trouble for it

He’s known all around the school even if people don’t actually know him they know of him

Every teacher knows him too

And they only roll their eyes when he’s loud and goofy in class

I won’t lie he probably doesn’t know any of the names of people in his class so he has to ask whenever he’s paired up with them for projects even though he’s been going to school with them for years already (how can you tell I was the person who people forgot lol)

But they can’t be mad at him for long when he’s got them bent over in laughter a few seconds later

[ Jaemin ]

In culinary arts, so he gets free food sometimes

Especially when he works in the cafeteria at lunch

Sometimes if jeno doesn’t have lunch money Jaemin will sneak some fries out for him

Also on the football team

(I don’t know why I see him doing this but I do so fight me)

Forgets his water bottle all the damn time so had to do push-ups whenever any of the football coaches catch him

Heart breaker of the century

Has girls (and some guys) staring at him and stalking his social media

Taking bio and chem at the same time

Quickly regrets that choice he made lol

Spends his spares annoying Renjun in art

Ends up painting his arm or hand and gets scolded by the art teacher

Friends with almost all of his teachers

Yes like Haechan he’s also that kid who the teachers know instantly by name and who they tell their other classes funny stories about

Probably almost blew up the chemistry lab with Haechan once

Now Haechan and him aren’t allowed to touch any of the lab equipment

Works out with jeno but sometimes slacks off

Makes jeno stop by the local coffee shop every morning on the dreamies way to school

[ Chenle ]

I don’t know why but I struggled so much with Chenles

It’s weird

He’s probably a band student who uses the piano in the room as often as he can.

He goes into the band room in the morning when jeno and Jaemin have early football practice and he goes when he has a spare

And when he’s still there after the school he plays the piano

I mean, he probably has like three pianos at home

But there’s something about the giant nearly empty room

And just playing the piano just to play

He’s a simple boy with simple desires

You can expect this boy will try out for the basketball team

And if he’s not with his friends or at a piano in the band room

He’ll probably be in the gym shooting hoops

Hate hate hates doing homework

He’s the main reason why Jisung gets nothing done too lol

Also if the dreamies aren’t “studying” at a cafe you can bet they are at Chenles house

And the only reason is because his house is the only one that can fit all six of them comfortably

Sometimes mark joins too, for old times sake

[ Jisung ]

You can fight me on this but this boy would be in the poetry slam club

He’s that quite cute boy who everyone glances at through out the meeting

Never used his locker

Instead he puts all his stuff in Chenles locker because, and I quote

“It’s easier”

Goes to all the sports games cause Chenle drags him there

Attempts to study

But we all not that ain’t happening

Gets really stressed during exam season

Probably eats one to many instant ramen packages

(He found Chenles secret stash)

Probably doesn’t skip class

Although he tried it once with Haechan but decided it wasn’t his thing

Eats lunch with the others at a near by food place every Friday as an end of the week treat

Is late to his afternoon class because they lost track of time

He’s the one always asking for a pencil or a pen

Probably tried out for the soccer team

And obviously got in

Kinda disappointed that the soccer season is short tho

But works hard none the less

Always forgetting his water bottle

Works on his writing when he has a moment of free time in class

Probably the kind to leave little love notes in his crushes locker

I don’t think he’s a huge party person

But he gets invited to a lot of them

Always complains about his student I.D photo

But it’s not as bad as he says it is

Hands in assignments late because he keeps forgetting to do them

#Nct dream #Nct Jisung #Nct Renjun #Nct jeno #Nct Haechan #Nct Jaemin #Nct Chenle #nct #Nct fanfic #Nct dream fanfic

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atieflingtime · 2 years ago

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GAME: 1888: Amenti by Mundos Infinitos

DESCRIPTION: “You have run too long from your past. But it is impossible to escape from the desert’s sun. It will test you, you will be judged. ”

ITEMS NEEDED: Dice; 1d4

THOUGHTS: This one took me a bit to get into because of how the page is formatted tbh! But with knowing it was designed to fit on a card, it makes more sense why it was organised partly the way it was. I played off of a PDF on my computer, so it wasn’t the intended form it be played off of.

After getting a little more familiar with the flow of when to roll for what — it was quite fun! I went more in a literal ‘come across the trial’ way, with the actual events of the bulk of the play actually happening inside the character (the beginning and the ending are outside of the character’s head). It was interesting to see how the different animal combinations could interact with the other desolations! Honestly it could benefit from a touch more choices, but it’s still incredibly enjoyable with the four possibilities in the categories. (:

I definitely recommend trying it out if you’re interested in some pocket ttrpgs, as well as a lot of creative freedom in interpreting the prompts/results.

unedited playthru is under the readmore (:

The stiff cloth my uniform was made out of was ill-suited to the oppressive heat and dryness of the desert. The starch felt like it was seeping out of the fabric and into my skin. It wasn’t supposed to be this long to travel. The calling for sandstorms had the majority of my brothers in arms uneasy to even start.

But we had to go. The higher-ups said it was critical for our home’s victory that we continued this mission, though they weren’t able to go themselves. They said our home was depending on it.

And now most of my brothers are lost.

Not even dead — just… lost. Their bodies swallowed by the sands. I hope at least some of them were lucky enough to get out, but I am hesitant to even wish for that hope for longer than a second.

I don’t have much in the way of supplies. My canteen can’t have more than a half-day’s worth of water in it, and even that tastes gritty from the encroaching sand. A compass is useless if I don’t know where I’m supposed to be heading, especially with its accompanying map long lost to the storm. A torn blanket, a piece of short metal making a sorry knife, and this journal.

A sorry state of supplies. We should have been allowed better preparations if this was as important as the higher ups were making it out to be to us. I wonder if they knew this was a Hail Mary of a mission, since none of them volunteered their own feet to take it.

FIRST VISION: Rolled 3; 3; 1; 2 At the Eternal Twilight, you arrive at an Antelope’s Carcass, a Scorpion, tough but ruthless, watches you.

I’ve run out of water. The canteen got a lot more sand into its seal than I originally thought. I tried to drink from it and got a mouthful of sludgy wet sand. Cruel.

I wonder if this is punishment from the gods for fighting amongst ourselves… if this is some way that they want to force us to behave. A cruelty for a cruelty.

The night is so cold.

Twilight didn’t seem to leave this place. Cold and sparkling — deep aubergine and Prussian blue, sand and stars glinting like well polished silver buttons. I feel tension sitting underneath my skin. A taut feeling, like my emotions are simmering just under the lid of a pot.

My feet continue to walk. The sweat in my once-shined boots squelching against my feet like my nightmares of the trenches when I was a younger man. I didn’t think I would ever have to feel that place again. I can almost hear the slosh of the muck in that filled those hellish lines as my feet continue to move forward.

The smell of rot hit my nose, and it took me a moment to realise it was not a memory.

How could there be a rotting antelope’s carcass this far out in these cursed sands? Was it another poor victim of the sandstorms’ cruel games? My eyes slide over the carcass that looks far too wet to for how dead the animal is. Its wide, dead eyes stared into mine, its face split.

I saw my friend’s face in the trench — hit dead by the cheap materials we had been given to reinforce the trench wall bursting into shrapnel we couldn’t have anticipated from an artillery shell. He’d been laughing and joking only a few minutes earlier, and in an instant those bright brown eyes were dull and bloody and wide from the surprise of death. I was covered in my friend. I couldn’t patch him back together. What use was I? What use was my fucking training if I couldn’t even do that? We weren’t old enough to see death like that, no grown man should see death like that, but certainly no teenager.

A small, jewel-green scorpion crawled out from inside of the carcass. Filaments of gold threading through its carapace, looping in constellations. It shone so bright in contrast to my dead friend — cutting through what I saw to show just the carcass of the antelope.

I didn’t notice I was sobbing until that first heaving of air.

The scorpion stared at me. I felt its eyes watching, and its tail twitching and ready.

There was no care for the lost life it was standing on. Squared up to me in a display of terrible survivalism. It lived and my friends died.

Wars like this weren’t for the the betterment of citizens, they were for those that didn’t know the rot of trenchfoot, of the slick inside your jacket that you can’t tell if it’s rain or blood or a festering wound finally weeping. They only thought of how to move chess pieces, they didn’t care if their machinations caused young men to expel their own lungs. They wanted glory without sacrificing anything of their own.

ROLLED 3; passed the Trial. Found water.

My eyes didn’t leave the scorpion until I was well past being able to actually see it. A soldier’s truce on no man’s land.

I thought it was another cruel trick of my eyes when I saw the spritz of grasses and the water. Gods, I was so thirsty. Carefully, my raw throat managed to whisper out a ‘thank you’ to whoever had allowed me to come across this water. My canteen carefully washed and refilled, water cupped in my cracked hands and held to my lips. I drank and I thanked the gods again.

Though I wished I could stay, I knew I had to keep walking.

SECOND VISION: Rolled 1; 1, 1, 3 In the Cold Night, you find The Jackal, cunning but opportunistic, climbing a Dead Tree

The night changed the oppressive heat of the desert to a bone chilled cold. It scared me. I remember the cold and the wet, I could feel it still sticking to my skin even though it was only a memory now. I wrapped the torn blanket tighter around my shoulders.

The gnarled dead tree stood solitary in the mass of flat sand. Bleached white as washed bones. It didn’t seem a place to rest, at least not to me.

Glinting eyes of a fire orange and coal jackal peering down from one of the natural resting spaces in the juts didn’t startle me as much as I expected. It looked unnatural just like the scorpion. My heart is being weighed in their eyes.

It wasn’t forcing the deadwood into a shape of its fancy, it was taking the situation it was given and making it work for it.

The coal colour of its fur spitting out from where I could see it nestled in the tree forced the memory of the soot and screaming machinery. It turned everything dead and grey in its path. Before this war, when I was just a young boy, I thought metal was always cold. It didn’t make sense that metal could be hot and screaming if it wasn’t the molten glow from the blacksmith.

Men and metal don’t mix.

But, I guess, we can only work with the situation we have. Our brothers can’t be lost for nothing, we can end with fewer limbs lost if we can find the right way to do it.

ROLLED 4; passed the Trial. Stars show the way.

Rhythmic blinking of the constellations above me caught my tired eyes — they were dragging my mind to follow them. This must be the way I need to be going. I must follow them.

THIRD VISION: Rolled 2; 4, 4, 4 At the Bright Sunrise, you see two Gerbils, nimble but weak, fighting amidst the a Dry River.

The light hurt my eyes. It was so unrelentingly bright, my eyes felt scorched inside their sockets. The pain stuttered my focus. I tripped into the desiccated river before I ever saw it.

Two small, enraged rodents were fighting each other. Screaming at one another and trying to rend blood from the other.

I felt white-hot anger — hotter than the baking sun and the piercing spit of the sand. Violence seeped to the marrow of my bones. Don’t they know they’re on the same side? Shouldn’t they want to work together to survive in this forsaken place? Why don’t they understand they’ll both die killing each other and the vulture will eat them both the same?

My hand shot out and grabbed one of the screeching things. Enraged and disgusted, they both were going to be ending their fighting, and I’m making them have the same result.

And for that, I am ashamed.

ROLLED 2; failed the Trial; wounds started to fester.

My steps faltered when I was able to pick myself back up from where I’d collapsed. I felt the tear of my skin inside my boots and I knew without checking that my lower legs were festering. The telltale burn was all I needed as a reminder of the fear I’d felt when the murky water in the trench had managed to seep through cheap cardboard soles and cloth and the mix of death and living mess seeped into the bleeding punctures on my legs. Infection wasn’t a gamble of ‘if’, it was one of ‘when’.

I’m not ashamed to say that I wept.

Wet, keening sobs were forced out of my body when I came upon the Horizon’s Monolith and collapsed in front of the slick obsidian. Figures glinted inside of the monolith, and my bloodshot eyes could not look away from them. I couldn’t even force myself to blink as sand whipped into my pained eyes. I could feel the figures inside the obsidian talking but I couldn’t hear them.

I could feel my heart rend from my chest to be weighed, even though it stayed beating fast and heavy inside my ribs.

Was I enough, in the end?

PASSED 2/3 TRIALS: You wake up in your world, having been rescued with a renewed conviction. Describe what you seek to teach people

I startle awake, a guttural scream ripping out of me. In an instant my thrashing body is held down by my brothers, and their familiar voices help me to calm.

Seeing their mottled faces, young men with the weight of horrors they never should have had to shoulder etched into their skin, I scrambled my hands to touch them. They held my hands, they rested their hands on my body where they could reach, giving that reassuring pressure as I clung to them like they were going to disintegrate if I lessened my grip even an ounce.

The fear that grips my heart from those machines will not leave me. I can’t let more be fed to them. I hope my cowardice manages to stop another from being consumed.

I truly hope it will.

#solo ttrpg #atieflingtime playthrus #indie ttrpg #atieflingtime #review #1888 amenti ttrpg

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genius-species · 2 years ago

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What I Read in 2022

I read 88 books in 2022. Mostly romance (37) followed by adult science fiction and fantasy (13).

I also read a vast amount of fan-fiction, but I don’t track fic on my reading list (which I’ve kept as a .txt file on various computers since 2006).

Best Romance:

Husband Material by Alexis Hall - a lot of folks hated the ending of this one. No spoilers, but I adored it. The ending was perfectly in character for Luc and Oliver. I’m really looking forward to Hall’s upcoming 10 Things That Never Happened (which features Jonathan, an mildly unpleasant minor character in Husband Material) which comes out in October 2023.

Evie Dunmore’s historical romances were a new find for me this year, and I liked them a lot. Grumpy men! Spunky women! Hot sex! What’s not to like? The fourth book (about Catriona! My favorite, as she too is deeply introverted and has uncontrollable hair!) has no publication date on Dunmore’s website, but Amazon says it publishes in September.

KD Casey’s baseball romances were also very fun. I’ve long been a fan of Taylor Fitzpatrick’s extended hockey romance universe; I enjoyed athlete romances for a difference sport.

Most Likely to Effect Actual Change in My Life:

400 Friends and No One to Call by Val Walker - everyone who is lonely should read this book. It’s the first self-help book I’ve read that provides concrete advice for expanding your circle of support/socialization.

Out of Thin Air: Running Wisdom and Magic from Above the Clouds in Ethiopia by Michael Crawley - an anthropologist and 2:20 marathoner goes to Ethopia to study running. Hoping to put lessons from this book into practice in my own running in the coming year.

Honorable mention to Being the Change: Live Well and Spark a Climate Revolution by Peter Calms. I’m still thinking about “humanure” and admiring the depth of his commitment.

Recommended:

Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas - The world-building is superb. Yadriel’s family doesn’t accept him as a brujo because he’s trans. When Yadriel accidentally brings Julian Diaz back from the dead, everybody is going to Learn Something (especially Yadriel’s family). Also (I feel like this is not a spoiler since the book is published by the Swoon Reads imprint) Yadriel and Julian’s romance is delightful.

See No Stranger by Valerie Kaur - Kaur is a Sikh American and an activist and filmmaker. I wish I could have 1/10th the compassion and grace under pressure that she does.

T. Kingfisher - Ursula Vernon is going on my short-ish list of authors who I will read based on name alone, i.e. the “I’d-read-their-grocery-list-writers.” She consistently delights. I adore the Paladins.

Goals for 2023

A more balanced book-diet. I’d like to read more broadly across genres (I read very historical nonfiction this year) and across time (the majority of what I read was published in the 21st century).

I’d also like to improve my (very rudimentary) Spanish language skills by reading picture books en español.

What did you read this year?

Romance:

Isn't It Bromantic? by Lyssa Kay Adams

Second First Impressions by Sally Thorne

One to Watch by Kate Stayman-London

A Delicate Deception by Cat Sebastian

If the Shoe Fits by Julie Murphy

Portrait of a Scotsman by Evie Dunmore

Bringing Down the Duke by Evie Dunmore

A Rogue of One's Own by Evie Dunmore

The Duke Who Didn't by Courtney Milan

The Devil Comes Courting by Courtney Milan

After the Wedding by Courtney Milan

The Turner Series (An Enhanced Box Set) by Courtney Milan

The Countess Conspiracy by Courtney Milan

The Duchess War by Courtney Milan

A Novella Collection by Courtney Milan

Lady Notorious by Theresa Romain

The Heiress Gets a Duke by Harper St. George

One Dance With a Duke by Tessa Dare

A Sedition Affair by KJ Charles

Any Old Diamonds by KJ Charles

Gilded Cage by KJ Charles

The Sugared Game by KJ Charles

Subtle Blood by KJ Charles

Slippery Creatures KJ Charles

Husband Material by Alexis Hall

Fire Season by KD Casey

Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall

Unwritten Rules by KD Casey

Selfie by Amy Lane

Hither, Page by Cat Sebastian

The Missing Page by Cat Sebastian

Tommy Cabot Was Here by Cat Sebastian

By the Book by Jasmine Guillory

Mr. Malcom's List by Suzanne Allain

Book Lovers by Emily Henry

Pride, Prejudice, and Other Flavors by Sonali Dev

Recipe for Persuasion by Sonali Dev

Nonfiction - Self-Help:

Indistractable by Nir Eyal

The Home Edit by Clea Shearer and Joanna Teplin

Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski

It's Not You: 27 Wrong Reasons You're Single by Sara Eckel

400 Friends and No One to Call by Val Walker

Meet the Frugalwoods: Achieving Financial Independent Through Simple Living by Elizabeth Willard Thames

Nonfiction - YA

The Radium Girls: Young Readers Edition by Kate Moore

Awesome Ospreys: Fishing Birds of the World by Donna Love and Joyce Mihran Turley

The Puffin Plan: Restoring Seabirds to Egg Rock and Beyond by Stephen W. Kress and Derrick Z. Jackson

Nonfiction - Memoir/Personal Experience/Art

From Field and Forest by Anna Koska

Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman by Lindy West

Mergers and Acquisitions by Cate Doty

Out of Thin Air: Running Wisdom and Magic from Above the Clouds in Ethiopia by Michael Crawley

I Never Thought of It That Way by Monica Guzman

As Simple as That: Collected Essays by Edie Clark

The Maine House by Maura McEvoy, Basha Burwell, and Kathleen Hackett

Best. State. Ever. A Florida Man Defends His Homeland by Dave Barry

See No Stranger by Valerie Kaur

Sci-Fi/Fantasy - YA

Dark Rise by C. S. Pascat

Terciel & Elinor by Garth Nix

Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas

The Witch King by H.E. Edgmon

The Dark Lord of Derkholm by Diana Wynne Jones

Sci-Fi/Fantasy - Adult

Paladin's Hope by T. Kingfisher

Swordheart by T. Kingfisher

The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon

The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison

A Strange and Stubborn Endurance by Foz Meadows

Captive Prince by CS Pascat

Prince's Gambit by CS Pascat

Kings Rising by CS Pascat

A Taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra Rowland

A Marvelous Light by Freya Marske

Ocean's Echo by Everina Maxwell

The Angel of the Crows by Catherine Addison

Provenance by Ann Leckie

Nonfiction - Craft

Craft in the Real World by Michael Salesses

Nonfiction - History

An Indigenous Peoples' History of the United States by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz

The Soul of America: The Battle for Our Better Angels by Jon Meacham

The Women Who Saved the English Countryside by Matthew Kelly

Nonfiction - Science/Environment

Being the Change: Live Well and Spark a Climate Revolution by Peter Calms

What If? by Randall Munroe

Science Matters by Robert M. Hazen

Microadventures by Alistair Humphreys

Zero Waste by Shia Su

Expecting Better by Emily Oster

All Things Reconsidered: My Birding Adventures by Roger Tory Peterson, edited by Bill Thompson III

Black and White Styles in Conflict by Thomas Kochman

Mystery

The Murder of Mr. Wickham by Claudia Gray

Classics/Poetry

The Odyssey by Homer, translated by Emily Wilson

Hard Times by Charles Dickens

#what i read in 2022

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handelplayssims · 1 year ago

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Another day breaks. We finish up another painting for Kiara and wake up Ashlynn with two hours until she heads to work. Let’s have that leftover salmon, she’s the only one that’ll enjoy it. And now everyone’ll just vibe for those few moments until we head off with Ashlynn. Right. Looks like we’re to get a case assignment. ...it is at this moment I realize that we haven’t saved in a bit. OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY. We’ll just go down the list. First thing is to exercise for an hour. Can do! It is done but let’s get that good workout moodlet. Then we’ll talk to the chief, a relationship that shall be very important. Next, to browse the police database, to wit, we talk to someone who’s at the computer and then lure them away so we can swipe it for ourself! Next is another workout session and then we travel to the crime scene! Even got up to rank 6 fitness, good for Ashlynn. Though, I don’t think pushing the limits somehow counts for exercising for an hour. Hopefully, blowing off steam with her mad moodlet does. Yes it does! Good. TO THE CRIME SCENE!

This time we’re at the Pancakes house with lots of sorched items around. Huh. Evidently those items count themselves as evidence. Which, yeah it would, wouldn’t it. Would have made the Villareal thing a lot more easier. And after that, we just have to return to the police station. Because it’s just about time for work to end! And with that, work ended and one promotion requirement fulfilled. Next two days are going to be off for Ashlynn, so let’s kick back and relax.

Let’s see, Kiara has work in a moment. ...but I’ve been meaning to lower her responsibility. I think we’ll ditch and hang out elsewhere. Now where would a teen hang out at to have fun? Especially since my goal is to get some more artwork in. Well, I guess there’s the local museum. But that’s not our goal.

THIS is our goal! It’s just about sunset and this vista is begging to be painted! With that, we’re finally up to the next stage of the painter extaordinaire aspiration. To paint 5 masterpieces and get level 10 painting skill. I normally save reward traits for after aspirations have been completed but here, I’m going to go ahead and pick up the creative visionary one, which helps the odds in masterpiece making. Now let us get painting once more and, huh. Turns out the art on the easel was made by Kiara. Nice. Let’s sell it and make something new then. A nice pop art to display for others to see.

Now Kiara’s next whim is to go and make a mural but I kinda want to focus on getting these masterpieces done. Because believe you and me, I would rather make her a mural artist but alas, the aspiration wants paintings. So we’ll do one of the nearby lounge. ...yeah this architecture is very much based within the 50’s and 60’s it feels like. Not a cool hip place for any teen to want to stay around in. Ayo! It’s a masterpiece! Time to sell it! I mean, I could in theory display it at this museum but this was kinda meant to be a throw-away one for Kiara. And so, with a bite of pizza from a nearby food stall, we head home and head to bed. After Kiara gets told off for coming home late. Only a light warning this time, she was obviously at work.

Hmm. Ashlynn is moderately well rested. Eh, it is her weekend, so to speak. She wants to rile up a sim and make an enemy with Miki Takamiya. ...I think we yelled at her for not being in school. Eh, but first her fun need is low. TV was auto-picked so let’s watch a movie. It’s super-late at night after all so nothing good is on anyway. She did not take to the action move though. Found it boring. Ah well. Let’s go pester a child! After-

Neighborhood Watch!

Rohan Elderberry in the Elderberry household left his job as a Customer Support in the Retail Employee career.

Kaela Hoapili in the Hoapili household is now a Freelance Artist in the Freelance Artist career.

#sims 4 #liveblogging #Wallace Family #ashlynn wallace #kiara wallace

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yournightowl · 2 years ago

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Your NightOwl #014

i’m not gonna be talking about the leetle thing.

Let’s talk about something violent instead. ୧(๑•̀v•́)૭

i don’t pay attention to sports and i especially don't pay attention to fighting. i’ve never paid-for-a-view in my entire life and I don’t know anyone who has.

But even i’m excited about the exhibition match.

It’s just straight-up hit. (ง'̀-'́)ง

Samlee Packa. Some say the most modded man on earth, and certainly the most modded athlete. A kickboxing master with blinding speed, greased-up and dirty raw power, and a penchant for ending fights before the other guy’s brain can process the starting whistle. No one’s been able to compete with him for years, and no one’s agreed to step into the ring with him since he nearly crippled that guy. He’s got kind of a villainous persona, and he’s probably an asshole in person. But it takes so-psychotic-you-have-to-admire-it dedication to mod yourself that heavily just for sport, and in this match, he’s actually the underdog, so i understand why people are rooting for him.

Because he’s going up against KOA. (╥v╥) The one and only Knock-Out-Artist. A hulking, chiseled, mean-as-hell-looking android built to win bot fights in seconds and in hours. Faster, stronger, more durable than any person could ever be, with a whole team of computers running the numbers outside the ring, calculating and course correcting for the one series of bobs, weaves, dropkicks and hooks that will end the fight in as spectacular and brutal a fashion as possible.

They announced the fight months in advance, which is pretty odd considering how short people's attention spans have gotten. But this might the one sporting event hyped enough to actually deserve all that buildup- and when they say that Packa needs all that time to train, I believe it.

Not sure what the hell that training could entail, though. (¬､¬) Modded limbs don’t get stronger or weaker depending on how fast you run up stairs or how many eggs you eat in the morning. He can’t hit any harder than he already does unless he upgrades his limbs, and i doubt that’s easy. He can certainly afford the best of the best, and Hindy and all the other megs are gonna be scrambling to fit him with their shiniest models with the biggest logos- but it takes time to get used to new mods. Maybe that’s what he means by training?

Could be, but i have a hard time imagining such a fierce looking guy doing gentle physical therapy exercises to build back his muscle memory.

They say KOA’s got a training regiment too, which makes sense. KOA was built to fight other robots. They’ll have to practice punching down (literally- Packa’s 2 meters tall after his latest fitting, but KOA’s over 230cm easy).

Truth is, I’m not actually sure who i’m gonna root for. Obviously my first instinct is to root for my fellow human, but the more i think about it the worse I feel for KOA. It’s a machine built for the express purpose of winning fights. If Packa loses, he’ll still be the strongest man alive. If KOA loses, it’ll be

Defective

But maybe i’m overthinking things. KOA will almost certainly win via Knock Out, because it’s in the damn name. And even if Packa does win, there’ll be a better KOA out next year, or the year after.

In theory, Packa could keep getting stronger too, but all the money in the world can’t keep you young if you’re also taking android-strength blows to the head regularly. ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ And if he wants to pass the torch, i’m not sure how many volunteers he’d be able to find. It’s a big world, but they say that Packa’s just a spine and a brain at this point. His successor would have to be even less human than that.

And then we’d be back to watching androids fight androids.

( •_•) (•_• )

( ง )ง ୧( ୧ )

/︶\ /︶\

Offering valuable ringside analysis,

Your nightowl

PS: Seriously, don't mention the leetle thing

#unfiction

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lesfeldickbiblestudy · 2 years ago

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Through the Bible with Les Feldick LESSON 3 * PART 1 * BOOK 59 WINKING AT EVIL? WAKE UP! REVELATION 2:11 – 3:22 I’ve never asked the studio audience how many different denominations and groups are represented but I imagine it’s quite a few. We find that in our seminars as we travel it’s the same way; we get people from so many different backgrounds and some from none, but we can probably instigate some hunger for the Word of God, and after all, that’s all we want to do is just whet people’s appetites to study on their own. I don’t want people to just say, "Well, that’s what Les says." I want folks to be able to just get in here and study it and see how everything fits so beautifully, if you just simply watch what it says. So anyway, we’re going to just jump right in where we left off in our last program, which was in Revelation chapter 2, verse 12. Now again, I’ve got to stop a moment and remind myself that we’re gaining new listeners every day. I mean it’s just shocking how our database in those computers is growing something ferocious every month, so that means we’ve got a lot of new listeners who have not heard much of our teaching before, so bear with me as I keep repeating. In fact, Monday night at our class up at Tahlequah, a gentleman who has been coming for several years came up and said, ‘Les keep repeating! Tonight’s the first time I got it!’ And it was something that I’d probably taught ten or twelve times since he’s been coming, but that’s typical. It just takes so long before all of a sudden this opens up and we can say, "Finally, there it is." So, I’m going to repeat some of these things for the benefit of new listeners. To begin with, these seven letters, as we normally refer to them, were not churches per se. They were Jewish congregations, more than likely called synagogues as we had back in James chapter 2, verse 2, and these were not written to be just one individual letter to a congregation but it was to be a composite. All seven of these letters were to be put into one book and then a copy of the book was to be sent to each one of these seven Jewish congregations. And they are Jewish. Now there may have been a Gentile or two in amongst them, but I doubt it. I think it was basically Jewish coming all the way out of Christ’s earthly ministry and the congregation there at Jerusalem, which was scattered because of Saul’s persecution. You want to remember now that the destruction of the temple is just a few years into the future. But they have no idea that anything different from the Old Testament prophecy was coming down the pike and that was that they were ready to go into the Tribulation. They were expecting those final years of wrath and vexation and then Christ would return and bring in the 1000 year earthly kingdom promised to Israel. And so these seven letters are written as a composite of the whole, just like Paul’s letters are written to us in this Age of Grace. In fact, I was thinking about it again last night, how every one of us are so aware that Paul wrote all the letters between Romans and Philemon and primarily the seven church letters as we call them, which do not include Timothy and Titus, but we use all of them. We use Corinthians and we use Galatians. We use Romans and we use Thessalonians. Well, if you look at these letters in that light, this is what those Jewish believers could do with these letters. They were getting them ready for the 7 years of Tribulation they presumed were right out in front of them. Now, you know when I teach, especially Paul’s prison epistles – Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians and Philemon – they are like personal mail to you and I today. They were just written to the Grace Age believer in particular. And consequently, there was almost no background in the Old Testament. So consequently, these were all new revelations that were given to Paul for us the Gentile believers. Well, I think you can look at these little letters to these Jewish churches in the same way.

It was like personal mail to these Jewish believers that certainly had no real status with the Gentile believers out there under Paul. And before the next program, I’m going to put my timeline back on the board, and we’re going to see how all of these things came out of the Old Testament prophecies and brought about the Jerusalem Jewish church. It, in turn, was scattered by the intense persecution of Saul of Tarsus, and those Jews were scattered and have predominately now gathered in Western Turkey where these seven little cities are located. We pointed out in our last taping, since the temple is almost within earshot of being destroyed in just a few more years, that God has now moved the authority from the temple, it seems, to the area of these seven congregations. And if we look at it in that light it just makes all the difference in the world. He had already given up on Jerusalem and the temple. It’s doomed. It’s going to be gone before long. So, He’s closing His dealing with the Jewish believers, of the Kingdom economy now, who had believed for salvation that Jesus was the Promised Messiah, still under the Law but here they are gathered in these seven cites in Western Turkey (or Asia Minor as the Scripture calls it). Remember now, that they are all to be digested between the various congregations. All right, maybe that’s enough introduction for now. Revelation 2:12 "And to the angel (or the minister or the leader) of the church (assembly) in Pergamus write; These things saith he which hath the sharp sword with two edges;" Now remember that’s a definitive description of the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the One who speaks the Word and it’s the Word that is the two edged sword through Scripture. Everything that Christ ever did with regard to creation or anything else was by the spoken Word. He didn’t have to bring the dust together and formulate something. He spoke the Wordand Adam appeared. And so throughout all the Old Testament Scriptures, He could speak the Word and things happened. Take the Red Sea, one of the primary miracles of the Old Testament, He didn’t go down there and do anything physically. He spoke the Word and the waters parted and the power of God is evident. All right, so the same Christ, God the Son, is now dealing with these Jewish believers, and He’s telling them - and I’m going to keep hammering it home and hopefully it’ll finally sink in: Revelation 2:13a "I know thy works,��" Now what do works entail? What you can do. To look at that, let’s go all the way back and see how this fits the Jewish picture. Go all the way back to Exodus 19. We’ve used this time and time again. And always remember, Paul never uses that kind of language for us. Certainly he teaches that as a believer we are to do good works for rewards, (I Corinthians 3:9-15) But for salvation through Paul writings we find in many places there can be no works in this Grace Age. Paul never emphasizes the works element like Christ does with these Jews. All through these seven letters in Revelations it’s: "I know thy works," see? All right, here’s why, back in Exodus 19 they were still under this same law that began back there at Sinai. Let’s drop all the way down to verse 8. Exodus 19:8 "And all the people (that is the nation of Israel now gathered around Sinai) answered together, and said, All that the LORD hath spoken we will (believe? What?) do….’" And so right from day one we see that Judaism or the legalism of Moses’ law and the temple worship was a "works" religion. Of course, faith was the basis of it all, but nevertheless it’s that constant emphasis on works. All right, back to Revelation 2. Verse 13 again, Revelation 2:13a "I know thy works, and where thou dwellest, even where Satan’s seat is:…." In other words, physically. He knew their geographical area. He knew the politics that was involved in that geographical area and what was it? "Satan’s throne." Now, don’t just glibly read over that. There’s a reason for Christ calling Pergamos the place of "Satan’s throne.

" Now, we don’t ordinarily think of Satan having a throne here on earth do we, but evidently he did. I think it started down at the Tower of Babel. I think it began at the Tower of Babel when Nimrod gathered all of the then living people and they instituted the pagan idolatrous worship of Babel and from there it just continued on. All right, now I’m going to give reference to a good book on this subject and it’s no longer in print but certainly a good library would have it and the name of the book is "Two Babylons". I’ve read excerpts from it, I’ve never read the whole book, but "Two Babylons" and the author’s name is Hislop, and he’s done a tremendous work on this a long, long time ago. That’s why I think the book is long out of print. But anyway, he established this very thing, that the appearance of idolatry and all of the pagan mythological gods and goddesses began down there at Babylon and the Tower of Babel. Then, over a period of time, those high priests of mystic eastern religions moved their headquarters to Pergamus. And evidently that’s why it’s referred to then as the "throne of Satan."All of these priests and priestesses of the pagan religions had seemingly moved away from Babylon up to this little city of Pergamus in Western Turkey. So, the Lord knows that they’re right in the midst of all this satanic power and activity. Revelation 2:13b "…and thou holdest fast my name,…" They had not denied their faith in the name of Jesus of Nazareth. Now, let’s be sure that we keep connecting this with the Jewish element. Come back a moment to Acts chapter 3, because you see, that was the whole critical mass of Judaism after Christ’s first advent, that they were to believe who Jesus of Nazareth really was. That was the idea. That was the heart of the gospel of the Kingdom, but not the Gospel of Grace we’re in today. Today it’s that finished work of the cross that we put our faith in for salvation. All right, here’s where we have that same thing that Jesus is saying to the church at Pergamus. Here in Acts chapter 3, Peter is again appealing to the Jewish nation up there at Jerusalem, and they have just healed the lame man and the people are full of consternation. How did Peter, James, and John heal this fellow who had been lying at the temple gate for almost forty years? Even Jesus didn’t heal him. Purposely I’m sure, so that Peter, James, and John could do it here. But anyhow, they’ve just healed him and now you come down and to answer all of the questions of the Jews, Peter gives the reason that he was healed in verse 16: Act 3:16a "And his name through faith in his name hath made this man strong,…"(or whole.) Not faith in his death, burial, and resurrection, but rather faith in his "name." And so that becomes the crux of the matter all the way through Peter, James, and John’s preaching. Now, I’ll just show you another one on your way back to Revelation, stop at I John. It’s been several months now since we taught that chapter. Stop at I John, because if I don’t make any other point today, I want to make that, that at the heart of the gospel of the Kingdom for these believing Jews, was believing in the "name" of Jesus of Nazareth, as to who He was. I John 5:1a "Whosoever believeth that Jesus is the Christ is born of God:…" Now did you see that? "Whosoever believeth that Jesus is the Christ." Well, what does that mean? Anybody who knows who Jesus of Nazareth is. What did His name imply? He’s the Son of God! He’s the Messiah of Israel! And that’s what they were to believe, and when they did, God considered them as a child of God, just like for us when we believe in our heart for salvation that Christ died and was buried and rose from the dead, but for the Jews, it was believing in the name of Jesus of Nazareth. All right, back to Revelation. So, here in the midst of all this satanic power, the very headquarters of Satan’s rule on the planet was evidently in this little city of Pergamus, these Jewish believers were holding tough to their faith. But, they suffered in spite of it. So, here goes the next part of the verse:

Revelation 2:13c "…and hast not denied my faith, even in those days wherein Antipas was my faithful martyr, who was slain among you, where Satan dwelleth." Antipas had died for his faith. And of course, that’s been true throughout human history. You’re seeing it more and more how that Christians are not only dying today for their faith, but they have all the way back even through the Old Testament economy. But here it was especially evident that in the very midst of these satanic powers we have this Antipas, who was martyred for the sake of the name of Christ and he says, again, "Who was slain among you.." In other words, they probably, like we in the last few days, they witnessed the horrors of it with their own eyes. And then he emphasizes again, what’s the cause of it? You are "where Satan dwelleth." The anti-God power itself was evident right there in Pergamus. All right, then verse 14, in spite of all of that, they were surviving persecution, they were holding fast to their faith in who their Jesus was, but what? Revelation 2:14a "But I have a few things against thee,…" Oh, there was no doubt, like I think in so many congregations, there was a core of true Jewish believers who were willing to die for their faith, but there was also a rather large element and I don’t think it was limited to any one congregation, I think they were all seven guilty of many of these same things and that’s why as a composite you see, it would speak to each and every one of these seven assemblies. Revelation 2:14a "But I have a few things against thee, because thou hast there (that is in your congregations) them that hold the doctrine (or teaching) of Balaam…." Now again, where does that take you? Well, clear back to the book of Numbers. Now, I’m not going to take you back there today, but you know the story of King Balak who met the children of Israel coming out of their wilderness experience, and they wanted to go through Moab on their way up to the east side of Jordan to go into the Promised Land. When he saw those millions of Israelites and all their flocks and herds, he knew he couldn’t destroy them militarily. They were too far outnumbered for that. So, you remember what old Balak did, he went out east and found a sorcerer, Balaam. A false prophet who was able to actually converse with God, but he was a false prophet. Well now, when he came to Moab and he looked out over those multitudes of Israelites, in fact, if you read Numbers, it’s evident that as far as the eye could see were the encampments of the children of Israel - Millions of them. Don’t ever think, like I’ve said a hundred times on this program, don’t ever equate it with Cecile B. DeMille’s Ten Commandments. That little ragtag bunch of Jews going through the Red Sea in that movie is almost laughable. No. There were millions. And more and more, even Jewish scholars are coming around to the fact that there were six or seven million of them that came out of Egypt and were out there in the wilderness. Well now, can you imagine six to seven million out there on that flat open desert? Well, old Balak knew he didn’t stand a chance trying to defeat them any way but by using demonic powers. Put a curse on Israel, and that curse was going to cause the children of Israel to commit sexual immorality with the Moabites. And if he could get the Jews to do that, then his thinking was that God would have to destroy them because of their sin. But you see, what Balak and Balaam didn’t understand was God’s mercy. Because God promised that Israel’s sin would never take away His mercy for them. So, you see, this element carries all the way up through history. And you know what? It’s still here today. My, the more I’m reading and hearing from our television audience of what’s going on in so much of Christendom, nothing’s changed. We’ve still got that sexual immorality running rampant throughout the churches. Over and over people call to tell us how their pastor has gotten involved with women in the church.

I’ve got books at home that say the same thing, so it’s always been this way. But this, of course, is dealing with the Jewish congregation in light of the soon coming Tribulation. And if they can survive those seven years, they’ll be ready to go into the promised glorious 1000 year kingdom, just like the Garden of Eden. Now, we’ll come to that a little later this afternoon. All right, so here we have in this particular congregation, which was not limited to the one. Like I said, I think everything that’s written to one congregation had application to all six of the others. Just like when we read something in Romans, it’s something that Christians for the last 2000 years have been able to latch on to. All right, so to this particular group, but involved all the others he said, "You have those there that are embracing the doctrine of Balaam." And Balaam’s doctrine was – sexual immorality. In fact, if you know anything of the pagan religions, they raise sex to a high form of worship, and that’s why God hates it so intrinsically. Because they have so corrupted the things of God, and just like we’re seeing today, they call wrong things right, they call right things wrong, they call black things white, and white things black. It’s always been this way, the only thing now is that it’s compounding. Here they’re embracing the teachings of Balaam Revelation 2:14b "…who taught (or instructed) Balak (the king of the Moabites) to cast a stumbling block before the children of Israel (which were the more attractive women of Moab and they were being almost, what should I say? Coaxed?) to eat things sacrificed unto idols, and commit fornication." And then along with their idol worship what would they follow up with? Sexual immorality. It’s the way it always goes; always has and always will. And that’s what we’re seeing, I think, going across the whole spectrum of Christianity today. Nothing has changed. All right, so this is what he has against them. Now verse 15, you also have another problem. Revelation 2:15 "So hast thou also them that hold the doctrine (or the teaching) of the Nicolaitans, which I hate." Which, again, I think is a reference to these followers of the ancient god Baal. And again, it’s "what God hated." I’ve always stressed that probably the one thing God hates more than anything else in the human race is unbelief. Remember that? I’m always stressing how God hates it. Well, if there’s a second thing that God hates it’s idolatry. Because, you know, one of the first commandments is what? "Thou shalt have no other gods before me." And Israel, of course, finally got cured of it with the seventy years of Babylonian captivity, but nevertheless God hates those two things I think preeminently more than anything else in the human experience – unbelief and idolatry. And the two go hand in hand. Just as soon as you’re saturated in unbelief it is so easy to fall into false gods. The door is wide open, because if you can’t believe in the true One, you can rest assured it won’t be hard to believe the false ones. And so we have this constant reminder that He hates those who hold the doctrine of false worship, Nicolaitans, which would be Baal worship coming out of the Old Testament as well as the worship patterned after Balaam, who was going to cause the children of Israel to eat things sacrificed unto idols and also sexual immorality. Now, I don’t think I have time, but maybe you can just think back with me to when the Apostle Paul covered this matter of eating meat offered to idols. Did he make this kind of a statement? No. Do you ever wonder why? Now see, here Jesus is so adamant that this is a false teaching; these Jews were to have nothing to do with meat that had been offered to idols. Well, I think the whole thing was they were so close to it, and they were so constantly tempted to go into idolatry, but Paul on the other hand, knows that the true believer is never tempted with something like that. Consequently did Paul have any compunction about eating meat offered to an idol?

He said, "No, that idol can’t hurt that meat." He knew better. But for these Jews who were being bombarded by, probably fellow Jews, to go into the pagan practices of idolatry, it had to be stressed that they don’t even eat the meat offered to an idol let alone do it themselves. And so these are all things that we have to understand; that these Jewish congregations were confronted with things that Paul’s Gentile congregations had no problem with. All right, now I think we can take one more verse; we’ve got a minute left. So the only remedy is what? Change your mind. Turn around. Take a different direction. Revelation 2:16a "Repent; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and I will fight against them with the sword (or the Word) of my mouth. 17. He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; (Jewish assemblies) To him that overcometh (in other words, stays true to the Word of God) will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it." Well, a white stone in antiquity was that which spoke of purity. It spoke of friendship; it spoke of total forgiveness. It spoke of innocence. In fact, a judge would give a white stone for acquittal and a black stone for the person that was guilty. And so, all these things have a particular place in the language of these letters.

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tepperz · 1 year ago

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sorry it took me a bit to reply, this weekend went by so fast!

So in a way you already do have references organized and at hand! You must remember where certain significant scenes are in a series so you can flip there and find it quickly :3c It’d be very cool to see an examination of comics from an art perspective since most reviews focus on the story and characters… Ah but yeah, it’s a looot of work making videos! @@

You know, thats true!! 8U

Haha that’s fair, especially regarding Sugisaki’s writing. Plus it drives me up a wall how inconsistent her locations and left/right hand placements are from panel-to-panel! Right beside each other!!! Even so, reading the pages does feel so… smooth. It all flows impressively well. I don’t even know how one begins capturing that. I’ll have to look now and see how infrequently she draws feet and shoes because I do have trouble thinking of more than a couple moments loool

Very true. I've analyzed her panels and she just has such a grasp on page flow that makes things feel so natural and fun to read. A lot of varied panels and artwork that points to the next spot to read. She's also very good at page cliffhangers, which is a thing where there is the question at the end of the page that makes you want to turn it to get an answer. It can be a dialogue stated question or an unsaid question that raises a mystery or intrigue. She might not answer a lot of questions but she sure asks them a lot in her story! But yeah feet and backgrounds are not her favorite thigs. If she can replace her backgrounds with screentones or effects then she will xD Still, it does take a certain mastery in order to put so many screentones and still have them fit so well. She does randomly place characters wherever and mixes up the left and right a lot from panel to panel, but I'd also say that's usually intentional to help with her flow. I wonder who she studied under? Hmmmm. Sorry if this rambeling doesn't make sense, i have a bit of brain fog!

Ey if others’ artworks have unique value then yours do as well~

Pikachu face. I guess thats true, but its hard to see it for yourself!

agree that sharing processes are interesting too~ The “history” adds more depth in a way! (And I’m curious how other artists make their stuff~)

That's true, I'd love to see other processes too. I watch speeddraws and stuff but that's not really the same as knowing about their decision making process!

I wish I had more processes to share. I’ll try to take a screenshot of my references all together while I’m working on my next pieces!

I'd like that! :D Its cool to see inside your brain ooooh 👻

I swear the strong winds are a coincidence in this case because I drew the lines long before I had a color scheme in mind…! They look extra similar though, can’t deny. xD

How interesting!! I wonder if part of the reason you subliminally chose the reference picture is because of that vibrant wind feeling?

It’s pretty hard to get the right colors yeah, so a lot of my pieces turn out lighter than I wanted.

Ohhhh that makes sense. Yeah, that's the rough thing with watercolors... do you ever color correct on the computer after? I end up sometimes make my digital pieces lighter then I intend and end up color correcting myself. I think this is a good example

The left is the before and the right is the after darkening it a bit. It's a subtle thing but it adds something. Luckily I've been getting better at picking what color I want the first time but I'm still happy that I can turn to color corrections if I need to.

Like you showed in your blue gouache below, when I try to do darker washes, there’s a huuuge risk of it looking streaky too (and that’s why I ended up covering one of my paintings in gouache because the dark watercolors just did not work out orz) But I’ve been trying to incorporate them more anyway. Paper quality definitely affects watercolor’s forgiveness ;;;; BUT I’ve been going wild with dark pieces digitally and it’s so much fun!

I think that's great! It's cool to hear about the struggles of the medium from someone so experienced with watercolors. Dark colored pieces can be so satisfying, right? Man, paper quality... yeah. What sort of paper do you like to use? Lately Ive just been using canson mixed media sketchbooks because I like that they can take a beating. My third eye opened recently because I realized that I could probably paint the top of my sketchbook if I wanted. Ive never done anything like that before :0

Right right, I feel the same about his videos! It’s like I need to just digest or put that one lesson into practice before I can even think about what he’s going to cover next. I love his passion for the subject. He drew yugioh cards?? Good taste, OP. :3c I honestly didn’t know anything about his career so it’s cool to learn he has all this experience! He’s brilliant anyway but still~

Yes! I wish I could put him on in the background as I draw more but since he speaks japanese I have to really pay attention and watch the subtitles when I enjoy his videos. Did you see his channel take-down a while ago? I feel so bad for him, having to start up his channel all over again. All that lost knowledge, too. ): But I'm so glad he still had a few essential videos of his ready for reupload! And he's still going strong too with creating for his new channel. What a determined guy! And he still tries to be so cheerful for his audience. I look up to him.

Yes, thank you!! I can always use more color theory tutorials. I need to read things worded several different ways before it sticks, apparently orz Oh dang too bad about the creator… But yeah, that doesn’t change whether the lesson itself is helpful. So that’s what’s in the psd file! I’ll have to open that up ASAP. Kwacy has a gorgeous style so I’ll love seeing it broken down. Phew, I’m glad I added the book after all. And I hope the rest can be useful somehow too! Thanks for sharing even your paywall materials. ;v; I feel the same about artists lifting each other up. I have Fowkes’ “How to Paint Landscapes Quickly and Beautifully in Watercolor and Gouache” and “Artists’ Master Series: Color and Light”. The first has process shots on his paintings and how he works from and alters his references/plein air views. It’s also a pretty artbook lol. The second was a collaboration with several other artists and is basically a textbook. A heavy, colorful textbook that has lots of light science in it~ I like to flip through it when I feel like I’m missing something but not sure what.

I have gratefully downloaded all of your tutorial files! Thank you so much again for sending them my way, there is SO much good information, and I haven't seen the bulk of it anywhere before! Really great for references. Ohhh those books you have sound amazing. I will have to look into trying to get those myself. An artbook that is also sort of a textbook sounds SUPER useful. And yeah np if i run into any other cool tutorial stuff i will send them my way, let me know if anything was especially useful to you and Ill see if I can find anything similar.

As much as I fight with gouache sometimes I also adore it. Love those flat, solid colors so much. I think the hardest part is getting used to the long “ugly stage” my gouache pieces have because watercolor doesn’t really do that (not that it can’t look ugly too, but it’s so transparent that the plot is never lost along the way, I guess?) Right, I feel you there. And once water’s added to gouache, it can look like it’s going down smooth but when it dries… betrayal. It’s a delicate balance of wet vs. dry orz Ooh your gouache pieces are nice with it watered down like that! Ye, a a single color can look quite different from one end of the gradient to the other. (Love the dancing cat things btw. They have so much personality~)

Yeah, no, i get you with that. Even if watercolor goes down messily or there is a mistake, the texture of watercolor still tends to make something look beautiful, I think. Plus a few dabs of water and you're a lot further on correcting it! Do you always seal your paintings ad sketches when you're done? I don't really do that as much as I should. I think out of all my sketchbooks I've only properly sealed maybe one. Apparently good hairspray can do sealing well too. (!?)

Grandmas have all these hidden talents that they just whip out of nowhere like “okay quick before you go let me just impart 60 years of rug-making secrets onto you”~ But yeah, I enjoyed learning from her. And exactly! Oil’s drying time, the solvents, the smell, the CLEANUP– I absolutely get the appeal because mixing them is something special but I’ll leave that to someone with more patience~ An oil painting of Kirby sounds so fancy! Good use of the medium =v=

Haha so true! The wisdom! The good vibes!! Oh yeah, oils are not only messy, but the cleanup.... oi vey. Yeah. Not to mention getting oils out of brushes just feel like such a chore... I like just being able to run my brush under water and being done!! gap! You like mixing them???? I absolutely do not like that part at all xDDD I feel like it's never mixed properly!! But I love seeing people mix oils, because it can be satisfying to watch. But yeah they take SOOOO long to dry. I will share my kirby once it's dry!!!! In a million years xD Pus not only are oils stink though, and messy, but if you have animals it's a disaster. I have to hide away kirby inside a ice cooler in order for my cats not to walk on him!

Uh oh talking watercolors could make this long message actually endless~ I use a bunch of different brands nowadays but I started out with Sakura Koi and White Nights.

thats ok i really like hearing about your experiences. Oh, I have some sakura koi! I have not tried them yet though. I haven't heard of white nights! ohhh but they look so pretty on amazon.

Still have a lot left from the latter though if I need a new color I usually get M. Graham (honey-based so it’s gentle on my brushes but also messy) and Holbein (super smooth, not much granulation).

HONEY BASED??????? Omg i want some that sounds awesome. (looking them up) They look so VIBRANT. Ohh and ive seen holbein around but i wasn't sure about them! Good to know they have your approval. I know whats going on my christmas wish list xD

Tubes aren’t cheap, very true… they last forever at least!! I pour mine into little pans and let them dry so they’re portable.

that. is. adorable. Handy! Makes sense! But so cute. You can just whip it out!!! Makes sense!

OH one more: from May to August I only used my Meiliang watercolors… They’re a student grade of the Paul Rubens brand so they’re cheap yet very good quality.

ohhhhhhh.... tbh those look exactly up my ally. I don't know what it is about student grade high quality watercolors that makes me wag my tail, but those look great. I will for sure try those once I get a chance. What do you find is the difference between student grade and professional grade when it comes to application, for you?

Do you like Winsor and Newton even if you prefer the ovals? I only have a couple colors from them but they seem like a solid brand. (And props to you for having the patience for the super super cheap paints because they’re another challenge altogether!)

Okay so I was wrong! Apparently what I've been using recently IS the koi! But I also used a bit of winsor newton too. And, you know... I have no idea if what I'm about to say is controversial or not (because my experience with talking to watercolor enthusiasts are limited) but so far the professional grade watercolors seem... lighter? I don't know if its because the little half pans I use for the professional grade, I use less paint because I'm scared of using them up, or....? You know, now that im thinking about it, maybe its because I don't use the tubes? I buy pans and half pans and maybe that has something to do with it. Regardless my prang ovals really do it for me for some reason. Heres what i mean

These are some sketches from the zoo of a monkey. I did tree different watercolors at the bottom, and the bottom is the prang. Reusing them again made me really remember how much i love them. I put about the same amount of time into all of the colors. So weird xD I wonder how you'd find the derpy prang paints!

How did you learn to draw so well? Like was it from classes or a book on fundamentals or just trial and error?

//// thanks for the kind question!

I guarantee you I would have improved faster if I’d taken a class, but I hope some of the materials I’ve used over the years can be of use to you too:

Andrew Loomis’ books - I never made it past the first chapters, but those had some great advice.

Youtube - Proko’s bean method. Figure drawing references will greatly improve anatomy and “drawing what you see”. It’s boring imo, so doing just 5-10 minutes a day can keep one from burning out while still seeing improvement. Speed painting videos are a nice way to relax and study.

Will Terrell’s People Drawing series - He’s a humble man with personal advice for artists. I watch his videos when I feel discouraged or lost.

Art, art, art - Whenever I see an artwork that I like, I figure out exactly what pleases me: line thickness, nose shape, finger positions, composition, the way the hair bends in the wind, etc. Then I try to incorporate that specific characteristic into my own art.

I have growing folders of (I’m a bit embarrassed) almost 8,000 pictures, organized by characteristics, for the sole purpose of studying their prettiness. Sometimes we don’t need a tutorial to spell everything out, just an example can help us envision our own works’ potential. Also, staring at pictures is a relaxing way to study too!

And of course, trial and error~ I don’t post my sad, failed paintings or all the weird sketches I make, but they exist and teach a lot!

#art talk

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bunkerbucky · 4 years ago

Text

Casual Sabotage *Bucky Barnes x Reader*

Reader is hit with sex pollen. Except she doesn't crave her boyfriend, Steve Rogers. No, it's his best friend, Bucky Barnes, that she wants inside of her. Bucky, in the beginning, is a good bro and refuses. But due to the fact she sucks his dick so good he kinda, sorta, loses that restraint and just fucks her regardless of who she belongs to.

Rating: Explicit [+18]

Warnings: Sex pollen= Dub-Con, Rough Sex, Rough blow-job, rough oral-sex, vaginal sex, praise kink, breeding kink, size kink- Bucky has a big dick in this lmao, choking and biting kink, infidelity; Reader cheats on Steve.

TW: Dub-con- Reader is under sex pollen, so she actually cannot give consent and also because Bucky is so resistant in the beginning. It turns consensual on Bucky's part, he gives in to the temptation. But, obviously, reader is still influenced so... the lines are blurred.

Yourself and Bucky had searched the Hydra base from tippy-top to bottom. There was nothing out of the ordinary, which infuriated you a little. With the amount of recon work you both had to do, the long nights of watching the agents coming and going, you felt like you both deserved a small win, at least.

A long sigh escaped from your lips as Bucky's fingers typed furiously on the computers keyboard, a USB stick in hand just in case he found something exciting. Your arms were crossed over your chest, eyes scanning around the bases' security room, roaming the shelves and cabinets that held nothing of importance. A week of nothing, you wanted to cry.

"Hmm," Bucky low hum attracted your attention, "It says there's a basement to this building, we haven't checked that out." His steel eyes look over the screen and at you, you respond with a shrug of your shoulders. "We've got two hours before the cavalry arrives to pick us up, let's explore and see if we can obtain something to keep from Rogers from complainin'"

You giggle slightly at Bucky's comment, nodding in agreement with him. Steve would have a lot to say if you went back empty-handed, especially since he sent you both rather than himself. But you couldn't lie and say the thought of seeing Steve after so long didn't excite you. You had missed your boyfriend dearly, you weren't allowed on missions together since finally making things official. Work ethics and all that jazz.

Instead, you and Bucky had started to partner up, Steve didn't trust anyone but himself, and Bucky, to keep an eye out for you. Who better to watch over his best girl than his best friend, plus Bucky was your friend before you got with Steve.

"What if we go down there and there's a great, big monster waiting for us?" Sliding into the small elevator beside Barnes.

Bucky looked down at you with a raised eyebrow, "Then I'll be throwing you out as a distraction, so I can press the elevator door button to leave."

You both ended up laughing at his response, although when the doors finally did open and reveal a darkened basement layer... there was a moment of silence, you both side-eyeing one another at the lack of sound and movement.

Bucky stepped off first and the automatic lighting triggered him to pull his gun from its holster, his reflexes sharp and fast. You step off and follow Bucky down the hall towards double doors, the room through those doors was abandoned and huge. Desks with old computers, all smashed and out of use. Stacks of files and paper scattered on desks and the floor. Despite the mess, it all looks really promising, there had to be something amongst the chaos.

You both separate to cover more ground, you only had a limited time before you had to leave. You looked through paper and files, shuffling through stacks of meaningless bullshit. Hydra certainly kept a record of everything, including all the worthless crap. You wondered if they actually printed this stuff to lead you guys on wild goose chases like this, to make sure you were distracted with searching for something important amongst all their bullshit.

You ended up in the far back of the room, a small desk area had random empty vials littered across it. Files labelled in Russian, that you couldn't translate very well.

"Hey, Buck," You called over your shoulder as you lifted an empty vial, a cork tightly shoved in the top; curious. "Think I might've found something."

The vial itself was black, not black liquid, the vial was just black. It didn't feel weighted, it didn't feel like anything was moving inside of it. So, curiosity got the best of you because you yanked the cork off the vial. Black smoke puffed out and into your face causing you to inhale and go into a coughing fit. Waving your arms in front of your face, coughing at the inhalation of whatever was inside that vial.

It smelt like... old leather, peppermint toothpaste and...something else, like a deep musk. Odd.

"Hey, are you okay?" Bucky suddenly appeared at your side, a hand placed on your back and eyeing you with concern. He then grabbed the vial from your hand, it was clear and no longer black. "What happened?"

Your coughing had subsided, you felt fine. "I think there was some kind of smoke or whatever in there, I don't know. The black stuff just burst out, I was stupid-"

"Damn, right." Bucky looked mad, which was a given. "Hydra is known for making gas poisons, Y/N. That was a rookie move, never open strange vials." He didn't sound too mad at you, a little more concerned and worried.

You nodded, frowning when feeling the back of your neck sweating. You felt... hot. A sweat was taking over your body, your mouth was getting dry and your mind was going fuzzy. Bucky hadn't noticed, his eyes cast down to the Russian files on the desk, his hand flipping through the old pages and taking the information in with wide eyes. You briefly wondered if whatever is written in that file had anything to do with that vial.

"Fuck," Bucky muttered.

"What?" Your throat was scratchy, your breathing was becoming laboured and your palms were sweaty.

You didn't feel hot, though. You didn't feel sick either.

"Well, I'm guessing whatever was in that vial was... to put it plainly, sex pollen. It makes the patient unable to think of anything but sex, all they want and all they feel is lust. It's basically either used to breed or on prisoners- the pain of not getting off thoroughly enough can lead to the patient taking extreme measures: death." He shakes his head, you don't notice the horrified look In his eyes at the thought of maybe it being used on him when under Hydra's control. "You're likely fine, though."

"I wouldn't be so sure," You managed to gasp out, your thighs squeezing together and eyes closed, you wanted to feel embarrassed but you couldn't. "My head is spinning and, fuck, I need to get this off. I feel too hot, I'm burnin' up." Clawing at the collar of your own tact suit, your hands were shaking and you couldn't bring yourself to look at Bucky.

You wanted to look at him though. You knew he was standing close to you because you could smell him, he smelt like the black smoke did. He smelt delicious, intoxicating in the best way. God, you wanted him so badly. You needed him.

"It's going to be okay, Y/N. I promise, we'll get you back to Steve and he can-"

You shook your head and finally pulled the zipper down of your jacket, shrugging the bulletproof material off your shoulders.

"Need you." You managed to mumble out, lifting your gaze to Bucky, who was frowning and shaking his head. "Please, Buck. I need you! I can feel my skin crawling and-I'm in so much pain, please." Your voice a mix between a whine and beg.

"I can't- you're not thinking properly. Steve will be here soon and he can help you, he's your boyfriend, remember?"

You pulled the black, tight sleeved henley from your body and let it drop to the floor, it covered in sweat. You're standing in a sports bra and tact pants, chest heaving as you try to intake gulps of oxygen from your panting. Even with half your clothes off you still felt sweat bead and drip down your skin.

"I can't wait that long," You sniffled but no tears forming. "Please, I want you-I've always wanted you. You read the file, I'm going to die!"

Bucky continued to shake his head. "I won't do that Steve. It says that it took a couple of hours till that point, Steve'll be here soon and I'll explain to him what happened."

You groaned painfully, shaking your own head now. Not understanding why he couldn't just help you now. You were in immense pain and the throbbing heat in your core wasn't letting up.

You didn't want Steve to help you. You didn't need Steve to help you, it wasn't just because he wasn't here. You wanted Bucky. The smell of him, the heat radiating off his body when it was close to yours. You craved for him to touch you, to fuck you. You were sure the moment he touched you that the pain would ease, the flames that were consuming you would simmer down.

And you were certain that he wanted you too.

Taking the initiative you moved closer to Bucky, the short hairs on the back of your neck were drenched in sweat, you could feel it drip down your back. You placed a hand softly on his metal arm, the cool vibranium instantly cooling you down. Bucky let out a shaky breath and looked at you, eyebrows furrowing together as he took in your features. You were sure you could see the fight in his eyes, he wanted to help you. To touch you.

It was frustrating that he wasn't giving in. That he wasn't falling to his desires.

"I won't tell Steve, I promise." You whispered and pressed a kiss to his collar, inhaling his scent and shuddering when it filled your senses. He wasn't pushing you away, but he also wasn't giving in to touching you back. "It can be our little secret. I know you'll make me feel really good, he won't be able to help me like you can."

Her other hand trailed down his chest and stopped at his belt, Bucky was too busy telling her everything he had already been saying. Telling you how you love Steve and Steve loves you. It would break Steve's heart if he found out about this talk from you if he knew what you were saying to Buck. You didn't care, not right now anyway. You had always found Bucky attractive and before getting with Steve you had entertained the thought of Bucky, but he was just getting back his life. A relationship seemed too much for him, well that's what you thought.

You didn't settle for Steve, that was never the case. You love Steve, you know that. But, right now, here with Bucky, you knew that he'd be able to help you with this- more than Steve could. Steve was a peaceful lover, an attentive one. You needed this illness fucked out of you- at least, that's what your hazy brain was telling you.

Your hand slipped under his belt, a wide grin taking over your face at Bucky's shock, words choking out as you wrapped a hand around his dick. A sense of pride coming over you as he began to get hard in your hand, a few quick jerks as started to undo his pants with your free hand. Bucky was stunned into silence and compliance, unable to stop you just from the fact he hadn't been touched like this in a while.

He came to his senses when you noticed you get to your knees, his pants undone and pulled down his muscular thighs. Bucky slapped your hands away and tries to pull his pants back up, but you were putting up quite the fight. You roughly pushed him back, he ended up falling to the ground due to his pants restricting his movements. In the moments he fell down and was trying to figure out what happened, you had pulled down his boxers and gulped dryly at his semi-hard length.

"You're so big," You mumbled before wrapping your lips around the tip, a loud groan echoed through the room from Bucky.

You could feel him growing inside of your mouth as you tried to take more of him down, slobbering up his dick and licking around the shaft. Pulling off to run your tongue around the veins and down to his balls, gently suckling them into your mouth as you jerked his length till it was fully standing erect. You smirked to yourself at all of the noises Bucky was making, a hand being placed on your hair- which normally you hated Steve's hand in your hair, but you'd allow Bucky this time.

"Fuck my throat," spit was around your mouth and down your chin, "fuck my throat with your big cock."

Bucky's eyes were wide and lust-filled, there was still a hesitancy from him. A dilemma going on in that head of his, so you wrapped your lips around his cock again and started to slowly take him down. He was bigger than Steve, so much bigger, but that only spurred you on. You wanted him to roughly fuck your throat, you wanted to feel him at the back of your throat even after this.

You felt both his hands on your head... he started to push your head further down, the tip hit the back of your throat and you still hadn't taken all of him. He started to ease past your limitations, your eyes filled with tears as he stuffed your mouth impossibly full. Your lips stretched wide around his girth, he could feel your throat constrict around him and the slight gag you couldn't help because of how far he was down your throat.

"Fuck, so good." Bucky groaned lowly, eyes completely black and bottom lip trapped between his teeth. You knew your panties were soaking, a slickness collecting on your thighs as you rubbed them together, the flimsy material of your underwear was sticking to you and making you rub yourself just to alleviate the friction. "I'll deal with your pussy in second, right now I'm going to fill this hole up."

It was like Bucky snapped, the trepidation he was feeling before was long gone. It was now replaced with this new Bucky, and you loved him.

He wasn't merciful when he started to thrust in and out of your mouth, his balls were slapping against your chin harshly. The grip in your hair was harsh as he pushed and pulled your head to meet his hard thrusts, your eyes rolled into the back of your skull as he basically skull fucked you. Loud gagging sounds, your throat squeezing his cock as you fought for air, he only eased up when you looked like you were going to pass out. It was seconded worth of air before he repeated his onslaught, spit and cum was dribbling down your chin and onto your chest and sportsbra. Bucky kept his eyes on you, it made you shiver how he was looking at you.

Bucky didn't warn you when he was about to cum, instead, he held your head down, almost shoving his entire cock down your throat as loads of his cum spurted out and shot straight down your throat into your tummy. You hardly tasted his cum because of how far he was down your throat. He groaned as he came, swallowing thrusting his hips into your mouth as he milked his orgasm. He pulled you off his cock, it was still hard, thankfully.

He helped pull you to your feet then undressed you, roughly pulling the sports bra off your chest and yanking your pants down your legs. He ripped your panties to shreds and let the tattered pieces fall to the floor, his hungry gaze took in your shaking, naked form. Your thighs were glistening from your arousal and it was still leaking from your pussy, hardly any attention to it made you needy and wishing to be stuffed full.

"Turn around." The authority in his voice made you shiver.

You turned around and felt Bucky place a hand on your shoulder, bending you over the desk where you found the vial. The pieces of paper clinging to your sweaty skin and making you keen into his touch more. He kicked your feet further apart, a hand tickling the insides of your thighs and collecting your sweet juices. Expecting to feel fingers prodding around your entrance, instead, you felt a firm tongue lick from clit to fluttering hole, it dipping inside and collecting the juices wanting to leak out of you.

Your mouth fell open into a silent scream, his tongue was exploring so far into your pussy, his hands gripped your cheeks apart so he could push further inside of you. Tongue fucking you so roughly and expertly, your eyes almost went crossed out from the feeling. You didn't know you could be tongue fucked this good, but Bucky just lived to prove you wrong. The slurping sounds and moans from the man behind you, he lifted and bent your knee to rest on the table; opening you up further for his trained tongue.

"You're gonna have to let me have a taste of this everyday from now on, baby." Bucky groaned against your pussy, mouth closing around your clit as he sucked harshly, your mouths drowning out his own. "Taste so good," the tip of his tongue running figure eights on your engorged clit.

Bucky must've stayed between your legs for minutes, but it felt like hours. He pulled two back-to-back orgasms from you, only using his tongue. When he was done eating your pussy, he stood up and draped himself over your back, an arm wrapping around your neck as he breathed heavily into your ear. You could feel his cock nudge up against your pussy, sliding and coating himself in your juices.

"You ready for me?" You whined your response, trying to push yourself back against him but his arm tightened around your throat- not restricting your airflow. "Think your little pussy can take my dick, dolly?" You nodded in a rush, needing it inside of you otherwise you was going to die. "I've got you," The tip nudges against your entrance and began to push inside, the stretch was painful but welcoming. "Daddy's got you."

Your pussy fluttered around his length, the more he pushed his thick length in the more you moaned. He wasn't even half-way in when you started to babble about how he was too big for you, how he wouldn't fit inside of you. That only made Bucky want to prove you wrong, want to prove that you were made to take him. He started to thrust shallowly, rocking his length in and out of you, impaling you on him more whenever he pushed forward.

Once he was fully sheathed inside of you, he stopped and remained inside of your tight, heat for a moment. Relishing in the way you were split open around his cock, your walls were spasming around him and he was having a hard time not cumming on the spot. You felt so tight, so warm and wet around him, suddenly envious that Steve got to have you all the time. But he was planning on ruining you, to make sure the next time you fucked Steve it wouldn't feel as good.

He was going to fuck you so hard, so deep that you'd be wishing Steve was this big.

"Hang on, baby." That was the only warning you got.

Bucky started to pummel inside of you, his thrusts were hard and fast, his cock was kissing your cervix. You really could only just lay there and take it, your mouth open as moans were ripped from you, eyes rolling back as he kept impaling his girth inside of you. He was hitting spots so deep you knew you'd be feeling him for days afterwards, you'd be walking with limp and sore, it was worth it.

The way he was fucking you, it was as if he had something to prove.

The sound of skin slapping skin, his grunts and groans right beside your ear. His arm around your neck, clenching and cutting your airflow off at times, had you cumming within seconds and he still didn't let up. He didn't stop and fucked you through your third orgasm.

Your mind was starting to come down from the pollen, the pain and fever you were feeling had gone. Replaced now with pleasure and pain, a mix you didn't think you were into but now couldn't get enough of. All you could think and feel was Bucky Barnes. This was no longer the effects of the pollen anymore, this was pure you and riding on the afterglow of Bucky fucking you like you needed.

"Harder." You mumbled through heavy pants, tilting your head to look at him over your shoulder.

A smirk crossed his features, metal arm holding your hip in a bruising grip. Complying with your order and snapping his hips hard into your heat, grinding his hips against yours before pulling back out and repeating. It causes your back to arch, pressing your pussy back against his thrusts with little mewls leaving your lips.

"Kiss me." You plead breathlessly.

Bucky doesn't falter with that demand either. Draping himself over your body again and pressing his plump lips against yours, the kiss is far more gentle than his thrusts, but it still has you moaning against him. He was kissing you like you was fragile, yet fucking you like you were some kind of sex toy that he was using just to jerk off into. It was making your head spin and your pussy needy for more.

"You gonna come again?" Bucky chuckled against your ear, you nodded sharply and cried in pleasure when he bit your shoulder, cumming on the spot when his teeth dug into your flesh. "Mm'good girl." He mumbled as he licked at the tender spot, you could feel his hips stuttering their pace.

"Cum in me." You grinned and he cursed lowly, eyes squeezing shut. "Want you to fill me up, daddy. Fuckin' fuck a baby into me, fill me up."

The arm around your neck was pulled away, hand splaying across your back as he started to thrust into you in tight, fast and hard thrusts. Using your body to seek his own pleasure now, you were biting your lip at the thought of him filling you up. Not even caring if he actually did knock you up, you needed his cum inside of you.

Bucky found his end after a few careful thrusts, warm ropes of his seed filling you up and then some, he filled you up so much that it started to seep out around his cock. He groaned at the mess he made inside of you, he carefully pulled out of your abused cunt to see your hole clenching, trying to keep his creamy load inside of yourself. He had to look away because if he kept staring he'd get hard again, he didn't think you could take another round or load.

You remained bent over the desk and trying to catch your breath, his human hand was rubbing comforting circles on your back. Before you or Bucky could say something a buzzing sound captured both of your attention, it was coming from Bucky's pant pocket. He left you to retrieve his phone, eyes scanning over the device for a moment before he looked at you.

"Steve is waiting at the extraction point for us," You nodded mutely and you both got dressed in mutual silence.

He helped you to look presentable, ignoring the fingerprint bruise on your hip and the obvious bite mark on your shoulder. You were unsure how to explain any of that to Steve, you were also unsure how to explain what happened to Bucky. Obviously, you had still had those feelings for him, right? Otherwise, you would have been able to wait for Steve, it was like all sense of self-control had left you and only Bucky remained in your mind.

As you both left the base in awkward silence, treking the five miles towards the extraction zone, you wondered if you would have craved for Bucky if you was with Steve. If after all this time it was Bucky and not Steve you wanted.

All you knew was that Bucky had ruined you. You could still feel the impression of him inside of you, the way he had so deliciously stretched you open and impaled you on him. The way he had roughly fucked your throat like it was nothing but a hole to get off into. He had fucked you, in more ways than one.

(Please, let me know what you think! I’m also taking requests too! Honestly, kinda wanna write a part 2 where Reader tries to have sex with Steve but fakes her orgasm just to go to Bucky... I’m a bad person, I just think Bucky would be better than Steve tbh lol~ Lilith)

#bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky barnes x y/n #Bucky Barnes x female reader #steve rogers x reader

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because-of-a-friend · 3 years ago

Text

Enemies to Lovers!Jeonghan

MASTERLIST

One day I will come up with titles for my works lol.

Hi Hannah!!!! Thanks for requesting! I loved doing this one! I went ahead and went with Jeonghan cuz I feel like he fits this trope best! Sorry you had to wait so long, this particular fic got deleted like... three times so it was a struggle lol. I hope it’s what you were looking for!

I hope this is a good one, I’m realizing I get real insecure about my writing anytime I’m not doing a bulletpoint or reaction fic, so I don’t feel great about this time. Also I only started recently putting actual detail into my kiss scenes and idk how I’m doing with those???? Like do they seem ok??? Also I feel like I make it so obvious that I am such a sucker for SVT having cute nicknames for siblings, friends, partners, etc in fics lol. Anyways...

Also, I really said: Jeonghan... but in different types of lighting

Remember I don’t own the gif! Link to OP is right there if you want to go give the creator some love!!!

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: Mentions eating, reader is using female pronouns (I will keep things gn unless you request differently), I think that’s it, pls let me know if I missed any

You’re not sure exactly how it happened. It was probably just an instance of getting off on the wrong foot, that led to more awkward interactions, giving both of you the wrong impression of each other. You knew this, you could rationalize it all. You were well aware that all it would take was one “I think we might have the wrong idea of each other” conversation and it would all be over. You could easily fix it all, but…

But his stupid smug face. The sarcastic jokes. The never-ending pranks that were not as funny as he thought they were. His ridiculous arrogance. His overall unapologetic nature towards all of it.

You couldn’t help but hate Yoon Jeonghan.

*****

“I don’t know, Wonnie…” you say uneasily over the phone. In previous years, you’d go over to the dorm without hesitation. You loved spending time with your brother and many of the other boys. But ever since you had officially met and begun interacting with Jeonghan…

“C’mon, [Y/N]! I bought that new game you were talking about! We can play it together on my gaming system!” Wonwoo began to persuade. You knew you’d give in; you always did. Your brother was far too sweet a person and far too comforting a presence to reject. The question was how long did you want to argue with him about going to the dorm.

You sighed, accepting defeat early to save time, “I’ll head over there in a bit.”

Wonwoo gives a small cry of victory, “Ok, I’ll have Gyu make extra ramen.” Wonwoo abruptly hangs up the phone right after, leaving you in silence to groan in regret of your decision.

You immediately straighten yourself out, though, trying to put yourself in a mindset of determination. What were you thinking? Just because you and that asshole didn’t get along meant you couldn’t go see your own twin brother without feeling uncomfortable? Screw that! If he wanted to keep the peace then he was going to have to start watching where he stepped around you.

*****

You knocked loud and clear on the door of their dorm, knowing that with thirteen people living inside, it was usually too noisy for them to hear someone signal their arrival. To your relief, Seungcheol opened the door just moments after you knocked and greeted you with a warm smile followed by a hand sneaking into your hair to ruffle it, “Hey there, kiddo! How’s it hanging?”

“Just fine,” you tilt your head down slightly in his direction as you pass him to enter the dorm. “How are things here?” As soon as you ask, your ears are met with the noise of someone dropping something in the kitchen, followed by Seungkwan crying in alarm.

“Same as always, I supposed,” Seungcheol sighs, but his smile doesn’t fade. “I think Mingyu and Wonwoo are already in the computer room, if you want to go ahead and see them!”

“Ok, thanks Cheol!” you call as you both rush off in different directions, him towards the kitchen and you towards the small room that would provide you solace from the possibility of having to see Yoon Jeonghan.

You were determined not to let things go how they usually did: you with your mouth clamped shut as Jeonghan spoke whatever teasing words he had saved up for you, and the most you can do to fight back is by rolling your eyes and finding any way to get away from him.

This time, you would still avoid contact with him, but if it happened, you’d speak your mind and not care what he thought, since that’s how he treated you.

But there was no sign of him or anyone else as you walked to the computer room. You could hear Mingyu and Wonwoo yelling and cheering at the game long before you opened the door. It was pitch black inside, the piercing light of the screen making you squint your eyes.

The two men inside both turn immediately to check who offended their dark space with the soft, yellow light from the hallway.

“Oh [Y/N], you came!” Mingyu beams up at you. You nod, matching his bright expression.

“How’s the game?” you ask simply, looking up to your brother.

“We like it so far,” Wonwoo’s smile is wide, he always gets excited about new games, whether they’re good or not. He leans over to grab a can of some sort of energy drink before gulping it down. “We left some ramen for you over there on the table. Eat first, then I’ll let you have a turn.”

You roll your eyes, though Wonwoo was only mere minutes older than you, he found those moments to be enough leverage to order you around and act like you should be dependent on his care. There were times when he even referred to himself as “oppa” to you and insisted that you do the same.

Most of the time you let it slide, especially when you weren’t in the mood to argue. However, there were times when you’d pull out the “We’re the same age,” “Even if you’re older, I’m smarter,” or “Don’t boss me around when I’m more mature than you” cards at the drop of a hat.

“Can you at least turn on the LEDs while I eat?” you ask, tip-toeing in the darkness towards the table at the back end of the room. You hear a click before a soft blue glow fills the room, finally giving you a clear view of your path. You pull the bowl of ramen towards you as you sit and resist the urge to comment on how little they left you. The dorm was filled with food anyways, you could find more later if you got hungry again.

Wonwoo and Mingyu begin to eagerly tell you what they like about the game as you eat. You listen happily, feeling safe in the presence of your brother and friend.

Then of course…

“Hey you two, Cheol wanted me to remind you that we have to get up early tomorrow,” you can’t help the sour expression that comes over your face as Jeonghan enters the room to speak to Wonwoo and Mingyu. “Oh, hey there cutie, I didn’t know you were here!” His smirk makes you sick.

“Don’t call me that,” you say bitterly into the nearly empty bowl.

Wonwoo looks nervously between you and his bandmate, well aware of the dislike you have for him. He’s grateful that you’ve always kept it so civil, but still feels bothered by the unrest between you.

Jeonghan lets out a little giggle in response, and Wonwoo feels a tug in the pit of his stomach, he wishes Jeonghan wouldn’t be so hard on you sometimes. He knows his hyung doesn’t mean anything by it, but you…

You feel your heart sink as Jeonghan steps fully into the room, striding to sit across from you at the table. You can only stare in wonder at his audacity as he slides the bowl towards himself and finishes off the ramen in one bite.

“I was eating that,” you try to keep your tone measured, attempting to keep within the balance of standing up for yourself but not starting any drama that would affect the boys.

“Go make more if you’re hungry, then,” Jeonghan says casually, making your anger positively flare.

You don’t even give your brother the chance to mediate, jumping up from your place and leaving the room, wanting to be anywhere but around that prick.

*****

“You’re leaving already?” Mingyu pouts at you.

“Gyu, I’ve been here for hours,” you laugh, stretching out your fingers as they start to prick from pain of slamming into a keyboard for so long. You had returned to the computer room but only after Jeonghan left. Part of you had wished you had done more to confront him; another part was glad you didn’t start a fight and put Wonwoo in an awkward position. “Besides all of you, as well as me have to get up early tomorrow, it’s already late. I need to get back home.”

“You can stay here,” Wonwoo was quick to offer.

You shook your head at him, “Then I’ll just have to get up even earlier, I’ll go back to my place.” Wonwoo nods almost reluctantly, standing to walk you out.

All of you run into Joshua on your way to the front door, he turns out to be the only one smart enough to ask how you got there.

“Oh, I took the bus,” you say slowly, knowing this is about to cause issues.

“Well, the last one would have already stopped running by now,” Mingyu says looking at the time on his phone.

“I’ll give you a ride,” Josh offers immediately.

You bring your hands up to shake them back and forth, “No, no, I can find a way home, you all need to go to bed.”

“[Y/N],” Wonwoo speaks up immediately in that stern voice you hate but also can’t help but listen to, “let Josh take you home. It’s either that or you stay here, I won’t have you walking around alone at night.” Wonwoo waits a moment to gauge your expression. He finally nods affirmatively, before speaking directly to Joshua, “Take her home, please.”

Joshua nods before walking off to grab his keys. You and Wonwoo send Mingyu off to bed. Once you’re alone, your brother pulls you in for a tight hug. “Do you want me to say something to him?” he asks lowly.

You shake your head, “I don’t want to cause any problems with you guys.” You sit in silence for a moment. “Come and stay over with me sometime, I miss our sleepovers.”

Joshua comes back and Wonwoo pulls away, “Thanks, hyung. Please get her home safe.” For the second time that night, your hair gets ruffled before your brother disappears to go off to bed.

The ride home with Joshua is comfortable. He speaks kindly to you and makes you smile.

You begin to wonder how amongst all these angels, there exists a person like Yoon Jeonghan.

*****

Wonwoo used the new game as leverage to guilt you into coming over quite often in the following weeks. You hadn’t realized how much you had limited your time at the dorm until you started going consistently once more. It was nice being able to spend time with the boys again. You hated that Jeonghan had become such an unbearable presence that it affected your relationship with the rest of your friends.

But ever since you had started to stand your ground and talk back, he had finally begun to avoid you. You supposed it was only fun for him when you sat there and took it.

It didn’t stop the two of you from bickering when you saw each other, but now both of you preferred to avoid each other instead of Jeonghan seeking you out to tease you.

The following weeks of visiting were fairly comfortable. Whenever Jeonghan wasn’t around, you got to spend plenty of time with the other boys and your brother. Plus, the new video game was even better than expected.

Jeonghan’s presence slowly became uncomfortable in a different way.

Instead of being smug and overbearing, he became strangely quiet around you. His facial expressions became more serious as he sent genuine glares your way before letting out bitter remarks and going on his way.

It made you even angrier.

Who the hell was he to torture you all this time and then act like a kicked puppy when you finally fought back???

Your anger and his bitterness slowly escalated the tension between you two. Although they were happening less frequently, the arguments between you became more serious and almost hurtful.

Whatever, you told yourself, he could do as he pleased, you wouldn’t let it affect you anymore.

*****

You stared down at your phone screen. Why? Why did it have to be here, while you were at the dorm?

The call was only five minutes. They didn’t even do it in person. Of course, they had warned that because of hard times, there’d be lay-offs soon. But they couldn’t even do it in person? And all you got was a simple “Sorry, come collect your things on Monday”??? You were a hard worker, passionate about the job, more efficient than most of your coworkers and this is how they treated you???

A part of you could’ve guessed, many of the employees your age had gotten in because of nepotism. But you didn’t want to believe that they’d just brush off all your years of hard work just to avoid stepping on the toes of higher-ups who had relative connections hired at the company.

You squatted against the wall of the hallway, still too in shock to move.

So, you simply sat in silence, for what seemed like forever.

“You good?” you had never felt worse than the exact moment his voice reached your ears.

“Go away,” you said sternly, knowing you’d be crying soon.

“Geez, forgive me for asking,” Jeonghan responds before turning to walk away. He stops abruptly after you sniffle. “So, you’re not ok?”

“No offense, Jeonghan,” you say hating the way your voice is shaking, “but you are the last person I want to speak to right now.”

There’s a heavy silence for a long moment. You silently pray that he’ll just leave. “Do you want me to get your brother?” he asks lightly.

You shake your head, “No, I don’t want to ruin the mood. I’m going to go home, just tell him I had a stomach ache.” You push yourself up and begin to walk briskly towards the door.

To your surprise, Jeonghan reaches out to stop you. You stare at his hand wrapped around your arm and wonder if you’ve ever even allowed him to touch you before. “It’s already late, let me give you a ride.”

You pull his hand off of you, “No, thanks.” You grab your coat and start to dig around in your purse to make sure you have all of your belongings.

“[Y/N],” Jeonghan’s voice rings clear in your head despite your brain feeling fuzzy. You don’t want to look at him. Who is this person that’s showing concern and speaking kindly? You don’t like it. It feels fake. It feels like a predator playing with a wounded prey. You’re just waiting for him to laugh or make a remark or do anything to make you feel worse than you already do.

But Jeonghan simply grabs the keys laying on the front table, grabs your arm once more, and leads you out to the car.

*****

The ride is suffocatingly silent. You wished he’d at least turn on some music to cover up the sound of your crying, but you remained in the quiet. You rolled down your window and stuck your head out, letting the warm night air and sound of wind comfort you. Since you were turned away from him completely, you didn’t see Jeonghan glancing over at you throughout the drive.

You couldn’t have left that car faster when you finally pulled up to your apartment.

To your dismay, Jeonghan also gets out, apparently intent on walking you up.

“You don’t have to-” you start but abruptly stop when he gives you a look telling you an emotion you don’t quite understand.

Jeonghan finally speaks when you’re riding the elevator up to your floor, “I don’t really mean it, you know.”

“Mean what?” you say weakly, starting to feel the exhaustion from crying so much.

“When I talk to you like that… I mean when I’m… rude,” he trails off, running a hand through his hair. “Usually it’s just teasing, but obviously I went too far with you. And I didn’t realize it until you started showing how upsetting it was for you. I should’ve known before that, though.”

“You seemed ruder after I started talking back,” you say, confused.

“I was just being petty and defensive. I kept telling myself things like: It’s her fault, isn’t it? She should have made it more clear from the beginning that it was upsetting her. How was I supposed to know? But that was just me being immature, I should’ve just talked to you.”

“Is that an… apology, Yoon Jeonghan?” you ask, letting yourself be a little smug.

For the first time, you get a genuine smile out of him, “Maybe.”

There’s more silence for a second.

“It’s a two-way road, though,” you say finally.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“I mean, I could have also come and talked to you instead of letting things escalate,” you say. “I played some part in all of this… unpleasantness. You can’t entirely blame yourself.”

Jeonghan smiles again, reaching out to ruffle your hair the way Seungcheol always did. Then he takes a dramatic deep breath and rolls his shoulders, “There! That feels better, doesn’t it? We can finally be friends!”

You roll your eyes in a playful manner, but you feel it too, a weight has been lifted.

*****

Wonwoo showed up at your door in the middle of the night that night. You took one look at his frantic face and groaned, “I told Jeonghan I would tell you myself.”

“You should have told me immediately!” your brother pouts as he passes you to walk into your apartment.

“I didn’t want to worry you so late, especially when all of you were having a good time. I was going to tell you tomorrow,” you close the door behind him. You watch as he turns on the TV and starts picking through your pantry. “Hmmm, yes it seems quite clear that you came here out of concern for me,” you can’t help but use a sarcastic tone.

Wonwoo sends a glare your way as he grabs snacks and settles on the couch. You sit next to him, grabbing your fair share of the food. You try to keep your attention on the show, but the feeling of Wonwoo staring straight at you is distracting.

“I’m fine, you don’t have to worry,” you sigh.

“Really? Because Jeonghan described you as an emotional wreck,” your brother scoffs.

“I was just shocked and upset. I’ll be ok. I have a good resume, I can find a new job,” you insist.

“I keep telling you, you don’t have to work-”

“I don’t care how much you make,” you interrupt. “I’m not going to depend on you. It’ll just make trouble for both of us.”

“Will you at least let me help out if there’s any problems before you find a new job?” Wonwoo kicks at your leg.

“Like I would even tell you if I was having trouble,” you return his kick.

“You just can’t help but be difficult,” your brother complains quietly.

You let the sound of the show take over the room for a few minutes. “I do have good news,” you finally speak up, wanting to give your brother some peace of mind about something. “Me and Jeonghan made up. We figured it out.”

Wonwoo bolts upright with a grin on his face, “Really??? It’s really all good now?”

“100%,” you say, unable to stop yourself from pinching your brother’s cheeks, finding his excited expression cute.

“Let’s celebrate soon then! We can have a big gaming party with all of the boys!” You agree to your brother’s proposal. You feel content in this moment, knowing you’ll wake up in the morning in an uncomfortable position, immediately kick at his legs and tell him to get his stinky feet away from you.

*****

Your time at the dorm increases with the weight of you and Jeonghan’s rivalry being gone. You’re enjoying getting to know him as a friend instead of constantly walking on eggshells around him. Going to visit the boys is once again a happy and comfortable experience.

You hadn’t realized how much Jeonghan had affected you until you two had worked things out. The world felt light again and you could breathe, no longer in constant worry of possibly ruining things between your brother and his bandmates.

You hoped things would remain without complications for a long time.

*****

“Seungkwan, you should come with us!” you begged. “The carnival only comes once a year; you can’t miss it!”

“But it’s so crowded and there are screaming kids everywhere,” Seungkwan complains.

“Oh, whatever,” Soonyoung interjects. “You love it every time we go.”

Seungkwan gives Soonyoung a look that has you laughing through your mouthful of ramen. “Oh, shoot,” you say feeling liquid start to dribble down your chin. “Can I get a napkin?”

“Here’s one,” you hear Jeonghan’s voice as he enters the room. You reach out to grab the napkin as Seungkwan and Soonyoung continue bickering. But instead of handing it to you, Jeonghan extends his hand not holding the napkin towards you. His fingers come to lightly touch your chin and turn you towards him. Jeonghan wipes your face with the napkin himself, taking the time to make sure it’s really all clean. “All better,” he smiles at you, running his thumb across your chin to check its cleanliness one last time.

As Jeonghan walks away, you turn to see if Seungkwan or Soonyoung saw what had happened. They were still arguing, though. The boys showing you physical touch or affection wasn’t really all that uncommon. But for some reason, the way Jeonghan had grabbed your chin just now… Why was your heart beating so hard?

*****

You couldn’t stop yourself from dragging Wonwoo all over the carnival. It was nice to get out in this environment, the lights, the laughter, the food, the games, the rides. You wanted to do everything, but not before you looked at all there was and took in the spectacle.

You could hear all the boys laughing excitedly behind you, you knew they’d want to try everything as well. You shook your head at Seungkwan’s bright expression, you couldn’t wait to play the ‘I told you so’ card later.

The night was a blur. All of you ran from games to rides to snacks and then all over again.

You couldn’t help but stop completely in your tracks as you passed a booth with a giant stuffie of your favorite animal as a prize. Your fascination with the plushie doesn’t go unnoticed.

“You want me to win it for you?” Jeonghan’s voice is suddenly speaking right into your ear. You jump after realizing he was right behind you. You grip your cotton candy a bit tighter and shyly nod. The way Jeonghan grins at you fills you with warmth.

You watch him walk over to the booth. His light hair and pink shirt were illuminated by the soft glow of the surrounding lights. Jeonghan takes his wallet out and hands some bills to the vendor. You step up closer to stand next to him as he plays the game. He laughs as he chats back and forth with the vendor. You watch in awe as Jeonghan clears the game, no problem.

“Anything from the top shelf!” the vendor exclaims happily.

“That one please,” Jeonghan points right at the stuffie you had been staring at.

“It’ll be a wonderful memory for your girlfriend,” the vendor smiles as he hands the prize directly to you.

“Oh, I’m-”

“Of course!” Jeonghan interrupts you almost instantly, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and starting to pull you away from the game. “We’ll cherish it for a long time! Thanks for the game!” The vendor waves kindly as you two walk away. After a moment, Jeonghan pulls his arm off of you, “Sorry, sometimes it’s just easier to agree than explain, you know?” You nod in agreement. “Wait a second,” he stops you by putting his hands on your shoulders and standing in front of you. Before you can ask what’s wrong, his hand comes up towards your face as it had earlier that day. He quickly swipes his thumb across your lips before pulling to back to show you remnants of your cotton candy. “Do you always eat this messily?” he grins and then, to your surprise, puts his thumb in his mouth to clean it off.

You stand there, frozen, unable to really comprehend what just happened as Jeonghan walks away towards the other boys.

“For the second time today?” Soonyoung is suddenly standing next to you.

“So you did see what happened earlier!” you exclaimed, hitting his arm lightly. “It was weird, right?!”

“Can’t tell yet,” Soonyoung replies cocking his head to the side and putting his hands in his pocket. “Sometimes Jeonghan is just sort of naturally flirtatious. But I’m not sure about you. I figured since you two didn’t get along at first, it’d take him awhile to warm up to you at that level. He seemed to get comfortable with you quite quickly.” Soonyoung turns and shrugs at you after his words.

“You’re no help at all,” you say emotionlessly. There’s a pause before both you and Soonyoung slowly look at each other and laugh at your quip.

You decide to brush off your new concerns about Jeonghan and enjoy this night with the boys. The vendor was right, it was a good memory, and you’re sure it’d last you for your whole lifetime.

*****

You hate yourself a bit for it, but you once again seem to be avoiding Jeonghan. He had made you so nervous that day, and the way your heart pounded… You didn’t want to get sucked into having a silly crush on him if he wasn’t actually trying to flirt with you.

No, from now on, interactions with Jeonghan would be friendly but short and appropriate.

You were stupid to think he wouldn’t notice.

It wasn’t long before there came a night when Jeonghan insisted that he be the one to give you a ride home. You couldn’t help the way your nerves spiked at his determination to be the one to take you. You knew he most likely wanted to talk to you about your sudden distance from him.

The ride itself was nice, Jeonghan rolled the windows down for you, remembering that you enjoyed the warm night air of summer. You talked comfortably with one another. Jeonghan was always able to make you smile so easily.

You couldn’t stop yourself from staring at him. He was just wearing a t-shirt and sweats but… His blonde hair being illuminated in the moonlight as he ran his hands through it and his bright smile as he laughed...

He really was beautiful.

Once again, Jeonghan came with you to walk you to your door. And once again, he finally spoke up in the elevator, “You’ve been avoiding me, sweetheart.” Your heart drops to your stomach at the nickname. “Is everything ok? Did I do something to make you mad again?”

You quickly shake your head and pull your hands up to shake them as well, “No! Not at all!”

“You sure?” he insists.

“Yoon Jeonghan, you really don’t think I’d tell you if you did?” you say.

He giggles, “Yeah, that’s true. You’d let me know the moment I messed up, wouldn’t you?” The elevator dings and opens up to your floor. You and Jeonghan step out together. “Is everything else ok, then? You don’t start avoiding people for no reason.”

You nod as casually as possible, “Everything is great.” Your tone isn’t convincing and Jeonghan nudges you. “I guess, I just got… nervous? I mean one moment we were like enemies and then the next we were suddenly really… close, and-”

“I made you uncomfortable?” Jeonghan’s voice is slightly panicked.

“No, you did nothing wrong! It’s all on me, I just got caught up in my emotions and-” you stop abruptly when you realize what you were about to do.

Jeonghan nods quietly as if to say he understands, but what it is he understands, you’re not sure. “Is it ok for us to remain close, or do you want me to back off?”

“I don’t want any more distance between us, but…” you trail off.

“But, what?” he prompts you again.

“I don’t want to get the wrong idea about anything…” you say, finally reaching your door.

Jeonghan watches as you slowly unlock your door and push it open, “You haven’t gotten the wrong idea about anything.” He avoids eye contact when you look up at him.

You’re shocked by his forwardness. But once he voices his thoughts out loud, you once again feel the feeling of a weight being lifted.

Jeonghan gestures for you to step inside, catching your arm once you fully pass him. He pulls you back to him, close enough for him to lean in and leave a quick kiss on your cheek, “Night, babe, I’ll see you later.”

You stand there, completely still, staring at your door that had shut closed in front of you. You can feel heat rise from the tip of your toes all the way up to your ears. You finally let yourself fall into a squatting position, covering your face with your hands, and letting out a squeal.

*****

Jeonghan invites you to meet up outside of the dorm. It’s a cute little coffee shop at a quiet part of the city. You’re already sitting when he walks in. Maybe one day, you won’t be completely caught off guard by his beauty… but today is not that day.

His whole person is bathed in the glow of the early morning light as he approaches you, the softest, most genuine smile gracing his face.

“No, don’t get up,” he says when you try to leave your chair, “I need to go off and order anyways.” Jeonghan leans down to kiss your forehead firmly. “I just wanted to come say hi first,” he whispers, holding your face close to his.

Your first date sets a wonderful precedent to the rest of your relationship. Jeonghan gets your heart racing with flirty comments and sweet touches. But he also makes you feel calm and content, easily keeping a smile on your face. You just feel… good throughout it all.

You insist on walking him back to the dorm, since they had schedules that day.

“So, we’ll be doing this again?” Jeonghan asks hopefully, as you reach the front door.

“Definitely,” you nod enthusiastically up at him, wondering how you had ever managed to despise the man that made you feel so whole and happy.

Jeonghan looks utterly happy and a tiny bit nervous as he stares down at you. His hand reaches up to brush back your hair before settling firmly against your face. Jeonghan looks at you so fondly as he leans in. His lips connect to yours… so softly… so sweetly. You can feel his nose nudge against your face to push it into a preferred position. He pulls back slightly after every little kiss to let out laughter so sweet, it sounds like it should be coming from the mouth of an angel. But he’s never far away for long, reconnecting to you quickly every time. You let him take the lead, allowing his lips to take care of yours, giving them the sweetest kind of attention. He pulls back for a moment longer to nuzzle his nose against yours, an action that has you gripping his shirt to keep him close. His hands keep themselves entertained by running across your face or through your hair.

He’s going back in to kiss you once again when he front door of the dorm opens, leaving you caught in the act. Wonwoo stares at you two for a long moment before making a single comment that causes you and Jeonghan to laugh.

“You know, when I said I wanted you two to have a better relationship, this isn’t exactly what I meant.”

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bokuroskitten · 4 years ago

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c-cockwarming with kuroo kenma bo ushi and iwa? 😳

I’ve got some real big brained anons asking me real big brained asks😌

ℌℭ ❦

〈 Kuroo, Kenma, Bokuto, Ushijima and Iwaizumi and how they like cockwarming

✵ genre: NSFW 18+ (Minors DNI)

✵ warnings: cockwarming, dom/sub dynamics (daddy, papa, & sir titles used), mentions of voyeurism

Kenma would have you warming him up all the time if he could, so every chance he gets he’s calling you over. Gaming, streaming, watching tv, doing just about anything, he loves sliding you down nice and slow on his cock. Your walls have been fit to his cock by now, so it’s always the perfect squeeze when you sit on him. Typically he’ll have you sit in his lap, back against his chest so you can do what you want as well, but mostly it’s so whenever he is live steaming he can suddenly thrust within you, watch the way you desperately try to keep your composure so the chat won’t start talking about how flushed you suddenly look.

“K-Kenma...” you murmur softly, feeling the warmth from your face slowly begin to spread along your chest. A smirk flickered over Kenma’s features, only for a brief moment, before he was back to that serious look, eyes glued to his game. “Yea babe?” He spoke, nonchalant as ever. That had your cheeks puffing up briefly, eyes darting from his game to the webcam that had the little green light on. You knew very well the stream was on, and considering the number in the bottom corner just kept steadily rising, you couldn’t just blurt out loud ‘Quit moving your hips’. Before you could even really get the thought out, Kenma knew, thrusting his hips up once more. One fluid motion of his body and his cock was hitting perfectly along your sweet spot. This time you couldn’t hold back the little Yelp that bubbled from your lips. Kenma had to laugh, quick to mute his mic as the chat began to pop off. He wouldn’t turn it off though. Oh no. He just got close to your ear, whispered in that voice he knew you loved.

“Better relax Kitten, or I’m gonna have to fuck you right here on stream. So sit pretty for me... unless my naughty girl wants it... you want it, baby?”

⋆⋆⋆

Kuroo is on his computer a lot, doing work and attending online meetings. He has set up a nice little office space for himself and he finds himself in there a little more than he likes. Especially since he has such a cute little kitty at home just waiting to be played with. Sometimes, when you just can’t stay away from him you poke your head in the door, the little mewl you let out making Kuroos brows twitch. Only a couple of pleas from your pretty lips has him caving. He likes when you straddle him, your little cunt fluttering so perfectly around his cock. He also likes how hard you cling to him, face in his neck and fingers getting lost in the hairs at the nape of his neck. Whenever he feels your hips begin to rock he’ll tsk, putting an easy stop to it.

“Kitty, don’t get greedy,” Kuroo speaks right beside your ear, goosebumps easily rising along your arms as you let out a needy whine. You hope it’s pretty enough to make Kuroo cave, or at least enough to make him let go of your hips. “P-Please Daddy, needa feel more of you in my cunny.” And it was true, you’re puffy walls were currently hugging him so perfectly, squeezing along his cock. Your legs tightened about his waist, wanting to add some friction to your clit that was currently throbbing for it. But Kuroo still had work to do, and even though your pleas made him weak at the knees, made his resolve wanna crumble so he could fuck you right here on the desk, he had to teach his pretty baby some patience. So he gave your rear a swat, a warning along with a hum.

“I know baby I know... your cunny is just fluttering like crazy around Daddy’s cock today. But just a little longer. So no more whining.”

You clung to him tighter, muffling your whines into the side of his neck and suckling the skin there instead. You stilled your hips though. Kuroo had to smile, fingers beginning to tap away at his keyboard again while your perfect velvet walls hugged his cock.

⋆⋆⋆

Part of Bokuto’s job was staying fit, considering he was constantly active out on the court. The gym he set up in your shared apartment was nothing short of impressive, and you couldn’t help poking in there while he was grunting away. Skin shining with sweat, muscles ripping as he lifted the next set of weights, you couldn’t help but lick your lips, or the little flood that happened between your thighs. Usually, Bokuto could wait until he was done, but sometimes you just looked too good, so desperate and needy as you clung to that door frame, basically drooling at him. He would take a seat, pulling you into his lap.

“12...13...14...” Bokuto’s voice was strained in the best possible way, his chest fluttering as you suddenly clenched down around him. He slowly lowered the weights to his sides a grin growing on his face as he felt your little nails dig deeper into his thighs. He pressed up into you, grin growing at the yelp you released. You could feel your cheeks heat up, pussy desperately milking his cock when it slapped against your cervix. “P-Papa!” You whined, looking back at him with tears swimming in your pretty eyes. “‘M sorry pretty Birdy... sometimes I can’t help but tease you when this perfect little cunt is squeezing me so good.” He pressed a few kisses along your cheeks, before he took hold of your jaw, forced your eyes back on the mirror in front of the two of you. “But Papa needs more motivation so he finishes his workout. So spread so legs back open, wanna see your pussy splitting.” And you had no choice but to listen, only thinking of how he’d pin you to the mirrors later to fuck you stupid. So you lulled your legs back open, biting your lip as he moaned at the sight of your stuffed hole.

“Perfect...” he breathed, keeping his eyes glued to the reflection as he hauled the weights back up to continue his count.

⋆⋆⋆

Ushijima isn’t much for PDA. Those little touches you always give him, running those pretty fingers along toned arms in public. It’s just too much for him. But Ushijima is a collected man, knows how to hold himself back. And know very well you’re doing it all on purpose. You’re his pretty baby, after all, he knows how you like to tease, pressing into his side on the subway or leaning down to look at something with a skirt that’s just a little too short. Ushi knows, when the two of you get home, your frame already vibrating with excitement, he had no problem pulling you onto his cock.

“More... more Sir....” the whine you release around his fingers as he stuffs them between your lips is high pitched, almost a little offended as tears swirl in your gaze. But Ushijima doesn’t budge, doesn’t move one inch other than his long fingers which are now pumping in your mouth. Your left whimpering around him, his cock throbbing within your walls and stretching you open without even moving an inch. “Maybe if you hadn’t been so handsy today and just asked for some dick like a good girl, you wouldn’t be in this position.” Ushijima huffed out, brows knitting together at the mess of drool that already started to bubble down your chin and around his knuckles. “But because you can’t keep your hands to yourself, you’re gonna keep my cock warm until I feel like fucking, are we clear.”

He knew you couldn’t respond, but the mewl you release as your fingers dig deeper into the skin of his thighs is satisfying enough to have a subtle smirk twitching on his lips.

⋆⋆⋆

Iwaizumi likes the closeness that comes along with cock warming, especially after a long day. There are some days where your schedules just don’t aline until late into the evening when the sun has already set. You’re both too exhausted for any sort of sex, but still want to be close to one another, want to share soft kisses and embraces. So once you two have dressed down for the night you curl up on your shared bed, finding a comfortable spot together.

“Princess...” Iwaizumi sighs into your ear, his palms slipping under the fabric of your shirt so he could the warmth of your skin. You mewl in response, nuzzling your nose into the crook of his neck before pressing wet kisses along the column. “Love you so much daddy...” you murmur back to him softly, your eyes fluttering a bit as he twitched between your walls. He was slowly growing, filling you up inch by inch until that familiar squeeze was apart between your thighs. It always felt so good, being stuffed by him when you drifted off into sleep. A smile curled on Iwa’s sleepy features, the familiar grip of your cunt around his dick making him sigh out in content.

“Love you too, my pretty princess.” He kisses along the crown of your head, hands massaging down your back as you cling to him tighter, sleep weighing down your eyes.

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