#especially mia if I can figure something out in the future!!

[paperzest]

Origami Miles Edgeworth w/Updated Autopsy Report, 1 uncut square of red double tissue, around 50 cm. Design+fold by me.

Starting sheet below:

[yanderepuck]

Salai-Chapter 2

WELCOME TO SALAI'S ROUTE. This is a FAN MADE route of my oc, Salai. This means this route contains my headcanons for the characters and in no way is suppose to represent the canon story. This is just a fun little time because I know many of you enjoy Salai. Feel free to engage, talk theories, send asks (even to @ask-salai ).

DISCLAIMER: His route his not canon to his character. Also, all of his lore in not in the route for simplicity reasons plus please feel free to ask about him.

Banner by @spooscribbles

Theo just had to call you hondje in front of strangers, he couldn't use your name out in public like a normal person.

You basically had to rip Theo away from Salai before he started asking so many questions and wanting to see more paintings.  You had been out long enough and once Theo starts talking about art he will never stop, especially with such a young artist.

Mitsuki: It was nice meeting you, Andrea!

You are pulling Theo’s arm to keep him walking. Salai waves to the two of them

Salai: Ciao.  Hopefully I will see you again soon, bella~

You swear he winked at you before he turned back to his canvas to keep painting.  You keep pulling Theo along for a few more feet.

Mitsuki: Why don’t you tell me what you had to go run off and get?

Theo: Just a little something for later

He finally started walking on his own.  You both took a carriage back to the mansion, making small talk to make the ride go faster.

~~

Back at the mansion you and Theo go right to the kitchen. You are putting your groceries away and Theo passes his mysterious bag over to Sebastian. You are still trying to figure out what it could be.

Not long after Theo leaves, Dazai enters.

Sebastian: Dazai-san is going to help with dinner tonight, so you can take the rest of the day off.

Mitsuki: Dazai is cooking? Will there be a kitchen left after tonight?

Dazai: no worries, Toshiko-chan. I don't want to face Sebastian-kun's punishment for ruining something

That forehead flick was one of the worst punishments you could get in the mansion. There was one day you had gotten a red mark in the middle of your forehead from how many flicks you had gotten.

Mitsuki: well…if you say you can handle it.

It was odd for Dazai to help with making dinner. He has made food for himself before, making tofu just the way he likes it. As you leave the kitchen and walk down the hall to your room you get lost in your thoughts.

Of course Sebastian was anticipating for you to leave, but did he not want you there? Did he not like having you as a co-worker?

Leonardo: watch out, Cara Mia.

You were two steps away from bumping into Leonardo. You were so lost in your head you hadn't noticed anything else.

Mitsuki: my bad

You quickly step to the side so that the two of you can keep walking

Leonardo: Why not tell me what is on your mind?

Leonardo starts following you down the hall. You can't tell him how you are really feeling. He will get even more worried.

Mitsuki: Oh it's nothing to worry about.

Leonardo: if you're worried about it then it only feels right for me to be worried too.

Leonardo has been so nice to you this past month. Always making sure you're smiling and not getting lost in your thoughts like you are now. Bumping into him is either the best thing to happen or the worst.

Leonardo: talk to me while I get some things done.

He takes you to his room. The room where you can't even see the floor. Piles of books and papers and tools and maps and well everything. You sit on his bed while he sits on the floor beside the crowded table in the middle of the room, working on what seems to be a watch.

Mitsuki: What is that?

Leonardo: Arthur's pocket watch. Considering the technology of this is two decades ahead of our time you would think he would take better care of it.

That's right. Arthur came back in time when he made his contract with Le Comte. Many of the things he and Dazai have are from the future.

Leonardo: Now what's on your mind, Cara Mia.

He tinkers with the watch, taking out pieces and putting them back in.

You are quiet for a moment. Should you be truthful?

Mitsuki: Don't get me wrong I love everyone here, and I'm thankful for everything everyone has done for me, but I was looking forward to going home and going back to my life.

You look around the room and look at all the things from different time periods.

Mitsuki: You didn't go through the door.. but do you ever want to be back in the Renaissance?

Leonardo chuckles. He's thought about this before, especially when not everyone knew he was a pureblood.

Leonardo: Not using that door is definitely a blessing. You get to adapt at the same flow everyone else is. Other than a handful of the residents, everyone was overwhelmed when they first got here. Since I lived through the changes I don't think I could go back and live without some things.

Mitsuki: I'm always hearing Arthur complain about how he needs to wait ten or more years for something to come out.

Just the other day Arthur was complaining about how awful current typewriters are and how he can't believe he ever used to use them.

Leonardo: But to really answer your question, I don't miss it. I miss the people, but there's nothing from the Renaissance that I can't do now. 

~~

You and Leonardo talk for some time and next thing you know it’s dark out.  You almost completely forgot about dinner.  What could Sebastian and Dazai possibly be making?  As if Leonardo knew what you were thinking he stood up.

Leonardo: Let’s go make sure Sebastian hasn’t banished Dazai from the kitchen.

You laugh and get off of his bed.  You’ve almost been banished from the kitchen before, poor Dazai probably has a red bump on his forehead by now.

You walk with Leonardo right past the kitchen and into the dining hall.  You are so used to helping make dinner and serving it that it feels weird going straight into the dining hall.

When you walk in everything is all set up and everyone is in there waiting for you.

Leonardo: Surprise, cara mia

He pushes you to the group knowing that you would stand there frozen otherwise.

Mitsuki: Wha…what is going on here?

Mozart: What does it look like?  We put together a party for you.

Napoleon: No need to be so blunt.

Isaac: We have noticed that you’ve been down these last few days, so we wanted something to cheer you up

You felt your heart start to swell up.  Then Dazai came over and grabbed you to have you look at what was on the table.  You hadn’t even paid attention to what was actually there.

Dazai: Sebastian-kun and I made what we are hoping are your favorites.  Shogayaki, tonkatsu, okonomiyaki

Sebastian: Miso, udon, gyoza and a few other things.  The octopus was not easy to find for the takoyaki.

Isaac: There’s what…

You know how hard it is to find the right ingredients for some of these foods.  You have tried before when you first came.  You were talking to some of the guys about the food and said you would try to make it for them, but you either couldn’t find the right ingredients or they were very expensive.  Le Comte must have let Sebastian spend whatever he needed on food.

Mitsuki: Guys..this…

You were choking up and could feel your eyes start to water. 

Theo: No crying allowed tonight, hondje

~~

Everyone is sitting at the table.  Comte and Leonardo brought out wine from the cellar and passed it around the table.

Dazai: Come here Ai-kun~  I want you to try this.

Isaac: I’m not eating that Dazai!

Dazai is holding out a takoyaki ball in front of Isaac, who is trying to push his hand away.  Isaac is struggling enough with the fact Dazai is making him eat the udon with chopsticks.

Mozart: How am I supposed to use these to eat noodles?

Sebastian: Let me show you

Sebastian has a big smile on his face as he is trying to show Mozart and Jean how to hold the chopsticks.  Jean just decided he is going to stab the tonkatsu.  Vincent is with Theo and Napoleon trying to show them.  Dazai taught him a while ago how to use them.  You would have never guessed but Vincent loves Japanese culture and is constantly asking the three of you things about your home country.

Leonardo: Just because you are head of the house doesn’t mean you get a pass, Comte

Leonardo is using the chopsticks and grabbing the food like a pro.  But you would expect nothing less from him.

Comte let out a sigh followed by a chuckle.

Comte: You’re right.  I’ve never been too good at using these.

He picked them up and Leonardo helped him with his finger placement.  As long as Comte didn’t set them down he could work them fine, he just couldn’t get them placed in his fingers correctly.

Arthur: Mitsuki I need help~

Mitsuki: I saw you using them fine just a moment ago!

You have your plate filled with food.  You have been craving this everyday.  You were already away from home when you got here, so it's been much longer than a month since you had real Japanese food.  Well, this couldn’t really be called real Japanese food, but it was the closest you were getting.

Dazai: Uh oh.  Looks like Ai-kun grabbed my glass of sake.

Napoleon: I think Mozart got them switched too.

Arthur: Let me try the sake!

After a while of eating and explaining and reexplaining what everything is to everyone Sebastian bought out a cake.  Turns out that’s what Theo had stopped to grab earlier today.  They trusted him the most with finding the best sweets,

Sebastian: Sorry, we didn’t have enough time to make dinner and desserts.  I hope cake will do.

Mitsuki: knowing Theo picked it out it’s got to be the best in the city

Mozart: please don’t tell me we have to eat the cake with chopsticks too

~~

You think it’s almost midnight.  Almost everyone has gone back to their room to go to sleep.  You ended up drinking just a little more than you should and were stumbling back to your room.  But it was a great night.  You get to your room and close the door behind you and fall onto your bed, face down.  After a moment you roll over and look up at the ceiling, thinking back to everyone tonight.  It doesn’t get much better than having everyone accounted for at dinner time.  They really did all of that for you to help you feel better.  Sebastian and Dazai put in so much work, you’re going to have to figure out how to repay them somehow.  But for now it's time for bed.  You don’t even bother getting fully changed.  You kick your skirt off and toss your bra to the floor and stay in just your shirt.  Now you hope you don’t have a hangover in the morning.

~~~

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Ko-Fi

[juniorig0327]

Thinking about godswap AU (one last time because I already have three AUs I want to write and I need to get my thoughts together.

I had to think a lot about this not gonna lie. Because one thing about godly parents in PJO is that godly parents influence a child's personality quite a bit (which I personally don't like but whatever). And it's kind of limiting on what I could do. I think if I do actually write this it would be following the canon (simply because it's the easiest to do and I don't have to think a lot lmao). So I guess I could go over the cast and what I think their godly parents would be. (Part 1 because I've officially decided).

Percy - Now as for Percy I've been thinking about it as much I lowkey wanted to do Zeus!Percy I don't think I'm going to. I just grown to not like the idea. I think I'm just too attached to Percy being a son of Poseidon lol. I have been recently swayed by Hades, Nemesis, or Hephaestus as his godly parents for some reason.

Now I HAVE been thinking possibly doing like something based on this fanfic I read where Percy was the child of ALL of the big three kids cuz Sally slept w/ Zeus Poseidon and Hades but I don't think I'd do something that crazy. (I also thought about Orion and how he was made and eugh).

I'm so indecisive and it's lowkey showing.

I do have a slight HC I might use to make this work for my self indulgent reasons (godswap AUs are purely for my self indulgence borderline crazy stuff so). Anyways the HC is that the Jackson family is actually intensively connected to the godly world and pantheons (specifically Greek and like Aztec). So he just has a bunch of randomly godly bloodline from like everywhere. So maybe he's like Frank and has a godly gift from Hades.

Poseidon and Nemesis would be his two (mamma mia) godly parents, Nemesis appearing to a bitter Sally after Poseidon just- left. And maybe Percy is just a legacy of Hephaestus (demigod Sally??) and instead of Leo, Percy got his fire (thinking it would be a post Mt. Helens thing after seeing his grandson nearly die he decides to give him a gift and help him out.) That's also him slowly discovering Hades gift on Calypsos island (and possibly staying much longer than expected while he tries to figure out what the hell is going on).

Annabeth - Okay so for Annabeth I actually have two candidates: Apollo and Prometheus. Apollo is the God of Knowledge which makes since and I feel like her godly gift instead of it being a cap it would be like a special bow and arrow or something (not sure).

As for Prometheus, he's the Titan of Forethought and Fire (Kinda?). I feel like it would make the dynamic between Luke and her interesting especially when she gets claimed and everyone's wary of her because of her connections to the titans and Luke. Maybe her being able to see glimpses into the future (in certain situations, maybe only her own plans?) Nothing too ridiculous. Maybe she can only see possibilities or maybe only the forethought only applies to herself and can only applies to others the more she knows them.

Despite this I'm actually leaning towards Apollo (not because I want to make this as easy as possible for me to write). But I feel like Annabeth being shunned and people being wary of her doesn't fit her so I'm thinking Apollo (maybe having her Patron being Athena??)

Grover - Now this one on the other hand idk. Demeter!Grover sounded sort of cool but I'm not sure. I kind of wanted to give him a godly parent but I feel like it takes away from his whole Pan arc which was his main arc so now I'm not so sure. Might keep 'em a Satyr.

Luke - Now I actually got this from a poll of a post but Hades!Luke or Dionysus!Luke is definitely interesting. I feel like it would change the dynamic of Percy and Luke completely, especially hades. It would also require some tweaking of the prophecy which it would not be necessarily the next child of the eldest gods but just the one that fits the mold I guess? Noticing how it also fits the evil hades stereotype for his kid to be the bad guy lol. Hades possibly refraining from claiming him until maybe like right before his quest with a smug look on his face but Luke just ends up doing... nothing. And he's sort of pissed at Luke because "wdym you're not the child of prophecy??"

Ethan - Still going with Zeus for this. I really liked my Zeus!Ethan idea so I want to stick with it for sure (https://www.tumblr.com/juniorig0327/760067385645580289/zeuspercy-and-possible-siblings?source=share)

Nico (& Thalia because I don't really have any ideas for them yet) - Ah yes, Nico and Thalia. Now there's a few reasons I sorta don't have an idea for them.

One, they're godly parents are sort of dependent on Percy. Two, I feel like a huge part of their characters are being big three kids (unless i exploited the loophole in the prophecy and having the elder gods be The Big 3 + Demeter, Hera, Hestia + Aphrodite??)

Hypothetically if I did do that though I'd probably make Nico a child of Aphrodite with slight water affiliation or maybe have him embody the war-like epithet.

As for Thalia, I think if I kept Percy a son of Poseidon, Thalia would have to be a daughter of Zeus. The only other big three kid I could see her being is a Poseidon Kid to be honest.

That's it for my rambling (for now). Just uh, ignore all the other godswap posts maybe? (I kinda dont want to delete them).

Hopefully my last post for today (I've been saying that to myself alot today lmao).

[ciaossu-imagines]

So, as mentioned, I'm trying to show some love to all my different fandoms in between answering asks, so please take some crappy headcanons for one of my long-time favourites, Ronin Warriors!

WHAT IT'S LIKE TO DATE RYO SANADA

I do see Ryo as someone who does take a bit to seriously date someone. He’ll definitely have an initial attraction to someone, and he will know that he finds them cute and interesting, but he does want a little bit more than that before he settles into dating someone. He’ll really take a little bit of time to get to know them and for the first several times they hang out, he won’t really consider those dates or dating that person, but more just hanging out with someone fascinating (and easy on the eyes). He wants to explore both the chemistry he has with that person, and he really does need to figure out if there’s anything under just that initial chemistry – if they have things in common, if they agree on things important to him, if they can easily carry on conversations and if they get along well. Once he does figure out there are those things under just that initial crush is when he’ll start using the term ‘date’ when he invites them out and that’s when he’ll settle into exploring a relationship with that person.

Ryo doesn’t like super social situations. He’s definitely a guy who is more comfortable with small groups of people he knows well or hanging out with someone more one on one, so he’ll want dates to be more along those lines. He really will value time spent with that person one-on-one, and for at least the first couple of dates, that’s what he’ll try to plan dates to give him. After he is settled and does know them pretty well, he’ll slowly grow a little more comfortable with hanging out with them in small friend groups of either his friends or theirs.

He is an outdoorsy kind of guy. He loves nature deeply and feels most at ease when he’s out in it. Ryo will, both initially and once he’s settled into a relationship, want to get out into nature with whoever it is he’s dating, taking long hikes where they can see beautiful sights and still carry on conversations with each other. Once he is settled into the relationship, I do think those hiking dates would also turn into camping dates (with separate tents, just to be proper, until their relationship moves to that more intimate level and then they will share a tent) and he definitely wants a partner who is comfortable with being outdoors and roughing it a bit, because it is something he does love.

Ryo really does have a deep bond with White Blaze. That tiger means more to him than some of the people in his life and he fully trusts White Blaze’s instincts. If his partner is scared of White Blaze, even after Ryo has assured them that White Blaze will not hurt them, or if White Blaze seems to distrust his partner, Ryo will likely rethink the relationship and if there’s any future to it. He’s not someone who just casually dates and gets into a lot of small, casual relationships, so if there was no future there, he would end things early. Along those same lines, Ryo does share a close bond with the other Ronins and with Mia and Yuli. Their opinions on his partner and on what he’s doing with his life will matter to Ryo and those are definitely people his partner will need to get along with, the ones to impress. That will honestly be Ryo’s version of ‘meeting the parents’, where he isn’t especially close with his father.

I do definitely think there will be arguments with any partner that Ryo chooses. He’s got a really stubborn, impatient streak and he can have a bit of a temper if the right buttons get pressed. However, he’s never violent towards his partner and he does try really hard to not scream at them, though he does get really passionate about trying to explain what he’s thinking and feeling, and his voice can get a little raised. That being said, arguments with Ryo will likely get heated and both him and his partner will need to walk away to calm down and sort out their thoughts. Ryo will always apologize though for his part in whatever fight they had, and he is genuinely open to a compromise. And he never holds grudges – once a fight is done, the situation is over and finished and he’ll never bring up past arguments or conflicts. It will actually really bother him if his partner is one of those types of arguers who do that, who brings up past wrongs or grievances. He will really see it as a sign that they never truly forgave him and will feel like they were holding on to it and just waiting for him to screw up again to throw it in his face.

Ryo’s not really comfortable with public displays of affection in general, both seeing other people partake in them or in displaying too much public affection himself. He might hold hands, sling an arm around his partner, high five, ruffle their hair, and, if his partner is having a really hard day, he tries hard to be comfortable with hugging them in public, knowing it would cheer them up. But in general, hugs, kisses, and cuddling will be largely kept to when it is just Ryo and his partner in a more private setting, away from people.

[snailvibes]

YOU YES YOU I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN AGENT 4 REUNITES WITH MOMARIE AND 3 PLEASE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW PLEASE I NEED TO KNOW THE FLUFFY TO THE ANGST

AAAAAA OMG OK OK TY I LOVE GETTING THE CHANCE TO TALK ABOHT THIS STUFF WOO

SO 4 reuniting with Momarie and 3 and Callie WOO

Also; PLEASE keep in mind that ALL of this is suspect to change. If four is in the dlc all of this would very much be changing depending on when the dlc takes place. But until then and I state otherwise this is all a part of my splatoon canon

to the angst first Cus that’s what’s most prominent and what you all need to know; Alterna and the situation worsening there, especially with Craig being kidnapped, ended up accidentally taking a little bit more priority than regularly checking in on Four. I imagine alterna doesn’t have good reception so to check in on her daughter while doing agent work Marie would have to regularly step back out to the edge of the crater, which used to be manageable Cus they weren’t doing much important things, but when Craig got kidnapped and Possom came along Marie was able to do that a lot less to the point where she couldn’t do it at all for a while. Four already was dealing with separation anxiety away from her family for this long, and the fact that check ins from her mom and eventually all 3 of them became nonexistent made those thoughts kick you that they were abandoning her or maybe something horrible happened and either way they wouldn’t come back.

So when finally things WERE all dealt with and Four had the okay to come to splatsville for a bit to visit before everyone had to move back to inkopolis, she’d already gone through this long period of being away from her main support group (she distanced herself from eight a bit because she was becoming a little self destructive), and then when coming to splatsville should’ve been just a happy reunion, she kinda got thrown into a lot at once. Everything with Alterna, the fact that instead of contacting her they hired someone else (no one told her at first Craig hired Possom, not the others, and they didn’t contact her for her safety not that she wasn’t good enough), but also Marie was developing feelings for shiver at that point as this was all a little bit after the end of storymode, and four just did NOT have time to process it all and all the sudden changes in her life. It all just resulted in a mix of her bottling stuff in and not telling her family and gf about how she felt with them all gone and hardly contacting her, but also being a lot clingy with all of them and hating the idea of being away from them. Also she really didn’t like Shiver at first lol

But going to fluff ofc Callie Marie and Three have time to calm down from the whole thing and focus on others now, including the fact that four is acting off and refuses to acknowledge it. Marie’s more than glad to let her daughter be clingy so her and callie can take time to be with her again because they did miss her a lot, and Three puts a halt on all agent work so she can spend time with her girlfriend a lot more and also try and figure out what happened. To skip a lot of beating around the bush eventually four does break and admit to them how much she missed them all and how worried and lonely and scared she was (conveniently leaving out the stuff with Mariver Cus that’s an issue for the future) and how everything was just happening too fast and she couldn’t handle it. So the 3 take time to let four adjust on her own terms better instead of throwing her into things, letting her ask about Alterna and apologizing for going MIA and promising itd all never happen again, and just taking all the time they need in splatsville to be together and calm down until they can do it all in inkopolis where everyone can be home again.

[dreaming-marchling]

I desperately want Dom's reaction to Brian calling himself "Dom's prized cow". Please, please can it be in one of the outtakes you write, some time in the future? Pretty please? Especially if it comes up in front of like Mia, Vince, and/or Letty.

On a few readers' comments I replied this about the prized cow thing:

Dom and the Team: Brian clearly has problems correctly figuring out/interpreting our emotions from our faces and voices. We must help him learn Brian: Dom's prized cow thing Dom & Co: …what? Brian: They looked at me with Dom's prized cow look Dom & Co: … are you… you mean proud? Are you saying they looked at you with pride? Is this what you're using to recognize being proud of something??? What? Brian: Prized cow Dom & Co: I mean… if it works? I guess? Why are you like this?

And I think that's largely how it would go, lol! Dom would be slightly stunned by hearing that. Brian explaining what he means wouldn't really dial that down. Perhaps we'll see something else with it in the future, I'll think on it :)

Thank you!! This was such a treat to get!

[jaderimehardt]

I have been super MIA for months now, I know, and I apologize! Its been a mesh of things keeping me away.

#1 Holidays, #2 Getting sick (yuck), #3 Game Events, #4 Temperature - Honestly I didn't think this would be a thing until it became a thing, y'know?

So resin doesn't cure optimally unless it's in 70-72 degree climates and I was working with it in my garage typically around 80-90 degrees, which was fine.

Sometimes I'd notice it get issues when I'd work with it around 95-100 and I'd be like okay~ not today, lol 😅. That didn't bother me, those days were too hot anyways.

I'm on the west coast. We didn't get ideal 70 degree days. It dipped quickly from 80 degree days to 60 degree days (too cold for resin) in like, a matter of days maybe weeks.

I've been trying to research if a curing machine would fix it but I'm just finding a whole lot of "some curing machines are designed to cure at room temperature blah blah" and "heat can be added via curing ovens, radiant heat, expoxy curing blankets". Yeah okay thanks google AI 🙄 /s

It's something I need to either look into a lot more or just wait until the weather gets warmer.

In the meantime, I can either draw more stuff for my RedBubble (which I'm not happy with at all), + deal with the holidays- which is what I've been doing (dealing with the holidays).

I may also just start drawing and make this a seasonal thing? Resin in the summer and drawing in the winter? Ping Pong back n forth? I'm trying to figure things out.

I was also bouncing the idea around of bringing the resin into the house but we don't keep the house above 70 degrees either, lol. I know people will think we're crazy for that. We keep the house between 62-68 degrees. Just barely missing that 70 mark. And then I don't know if the room I'd work with the resin in, would get proper ventilation cause I'd have to open a window, thus making it colder inside 🤷🏻‍♀️ (because it's around 50 degrees outside, and still only Fall).

There has to be a solution here 🫠. And it may be the seasonal ping ponging. Because I don't have a shop up yet so it's not like this is a 'business' yet for this to be a dire need or anything.

Sorry for the rambling, just thought I'd drop an update 😅

Last night and today I've been working on a couple of Emojis for Discord- as in a literal two.

I haven't drawn anything in 10 months, and I've never drawn this character before so I'm really out of my element with this. And we know emojis are something I mostly do for fun that I do to improve myself, so go easy on me when I post them 😅.

Originally I wanted to make 4 but the inexperience of never drawing him before and having not drawn in so long, paired with having an event tomorrow... had to trim it to just the 2. It's better than none I guess. I want to say maybe more in the future but don't hold me to that; I get weird especially when people hold me to expectations 🫣

[keefwho]

October 26 - 2023 Thursday

8:03am

I always jump the gun on things but this time feels different. Maybe I really did figure out the change I needed, actually letting my emotions show. Or at least on a level I haven't in a long time, Im probably not an expert on expression yet. All I know is that the dark pit I always feel inside is not affecting me. It's not gone really, it feels more like I opened up to it so now I can see it for what it is and I can see past it to a better future. It's existence is caused by repression, a lot of which comes from fear. I hide so much and it's damaging to me. Maybe I finally took enough damage that I can't put up with it anymore. I'm once again coming to terms with my own wants and needs and actually trying to assert them. I'm telling myself it's okay to have those needs and it's okay to feel sorrow or frustration when they aren't met.

I saw Daisy's repost about love not being a performance but instead an exercise in faith, knowing your significant other will always be there no matter what. I knew this at some point, I've understood this before. In my fear I've been drawn to a constant need to perform to prove myself because I struggle to see the value in who I am. I hate to admit that for awhile now I've been in a bad place that I've also been scared to speak up about. So scared that I even hid it from myself. After some time to think and confirm how I'm feeling, likely over the weekend, I know I need to have a talk about all this. It's scary but it's for the sake of moving forward and making sure this kind of problem doesn't explode into something big. I know how messy it can be to deal with all this but if I don't do it, it'll just stay the same and continue to hurt me. I feel some kind of amazing liberation finally confronting this, I just hope it all works out. Also I'm 95% certain Daisy reads this journal, or at least knows about it. If thats true then HI.

11:28am

I'm anticipating a horrible, lonely weeked. I just want it to be Monday already. Maybe even Tuesday or Wednesday. I don't want to be conscious the next few days.

I feel like I'm draining, or like I'm a burden. Especially with all these problems of mine lately. I feel like when I'm seen approaching its like "Oh boy, time to put up with this guy." I don't want to be that. If I could go back in time I might have refrained from being as outwardly emotional as I am. I can feel it taking a toll on my relationships.

I had to stop streaming so I could have a good cry. I'm trying to be aware of what exactly I'm crying about and accept those feelings. I'm sad at the uncertainty I feel regarding how things will turn out and how hard it is to feel so broken. I'm sad that I don't feel cared about in the way I want to be. Good reasons to cry.

3:44pm

I constantly bounce between feeling okay and not.

It's helping a lot to realize it's okay for things to be bad and to feel bad about them. Before I would either suppress sadness or try to justify why things weren't how they should be. But sometimes things suck and I'm valid feeling sorrow. Its way better that pretending that everything should be okay or that I should have a different response.

10:37pm

This morning I had a breakfast sandwich and brown rice. I went to the store with mom right after to pick up drinks for the weekend. She talked a lot with her coworker. It was snowy so we had to drive slow too, which was nice. I love how the first snow looks on everything.

Stream kinda sucked. I did Inktober with no other warmups. I drew the corner of my high school room that used to have my TV and laptop setup, got kinda nostalgic about it. Season 1 of Mia finished and was epic by Mia standards. Panthea's face didn't show which I expected, they must not have had the budget. He Man was good. For the group commission I line a character but had to redo it because I misinterpreted the entire pose which was my fault. I ended stream because I was sad and wanted to go cry so I did. It didn't last long and afterwards I joined David's server to finish the commission. It was nice in there this morning, I wasn't annoyed like usual.

I left them to go get lunch which was surprisingly good homemade soup. I think I had a cool little recipe going on. It took longer to cook than I thought so I was late to my afternoon productivity. I spent that time drawing something for Daisy's rats. I have a direction for it and I'm trying to make sure it comes out extremely good so I couldn't finish it today. For awhile I got into the flow of things listening to music on blast. I stopped to take a break and watch a stream. Daisy offered to Zelda and chill at one point so we did that and I wasted a bit of time looking for a beetle. I switched to dungeoning and Daisy had to leave halfway through since her mom came home. I finished the floor I was and got off to eat my usual chicken and fries dinner. While Daisy was in bed I played Cities Skylines. We talked just a little bit about feelings but I didn't wanna say too much because I need to compile what it is I really want to say because it feels like something important is happening with me right now but it's early into it. I want to be intentional about moving forward so I can hopefully break this cycle of mine.

[mekatrio]

my thoughts on! phoenix wright ace attorney! (very rambly)

WHAT A GOOD GAME!!!! i really liked it!! the art was soo nice and the music was so cute, characters were charming and quirky and the court cases were ehdbfnsjcnsjxnskkd those were very good too. the first two cases were fine, the third case threw me for a loop especially towards the end (i still dont completely get how we deducted + proved that jack hammer was trying to kill the producer and like did hammer kill that guy 5 years ago by accident or what and WHY if it was an accident it had to be covered up I DONT KNOWWW whatever whatever ive made peace with that trial), and the fourth case Owhhh that was so dramatic... and GOOD.... von karma being a MURDERER was surprising and not something im like super awesomely on board with, not cuz its not well-written or whatever but kinda just like.. how do i say it. like 'wow really???' almost convenient in the sense like wow the prosecutor getting on our nerves Actually Is a bad guy but also it brings a lot of nuance to the story?? which is very interesting?!

ill circle back to this idea of nuance but like looking at phoenix's backstory with the lunch money, i really liked how disarming it was bc it initially seemed like something thats very trivial etc etc but when it explained itself more, it ended up really effectively illustrating how devastating it is to be accused of something you didnt do, how your livelihood and reputation can be ruined and whatnot, and why proof is so important, and why mia's ideology of 'believe in your client' is so important.. but then back to the fourth case, we then learn that edgeworth had essentially accused yanni yogi of something he didnt do without definitive proof, thus ruining his whole life (obvs the blame isnt entirely on him but still), and how throughout the entire game phoenix is pinning the blame on other suspects until he hits the mark, which is morally dubious.. i like it! theres so much nuance and moral greyness, which is so interesting; like with all these bizarre characters and the comedy and everything, this game does feel like a deliberate mockery of the legal system, with how EVERY SINGLE witness commits perjury and a less than competent gumshoe and a judge that biases towards the prosecutors, and how that gets ramped all the way up to 11 in the final case; as i finished the fourth case and was mistakenly thinking that this was the end of the game, i was thinking 'oh, in the newer titles i hope the court gets put under more scrutinity cuz there were many hints of corruption throughout the game with grossberg's bribery and that crazy purple man and Von Karma', then BAM case 5 smacks my face with all of that.

hoo boy case 5... i searched it up and it was as i thought, this was the one case that was actually designed for the ds while the first four were made for an older system (gba). cuz i was like woah 3d models... okkkk. i cant say i have the clearest judgement of case 5 cuz i have a detriment called Playing A Game For 12 Hours Straight, which is what i did as i wrapped up this case which really fried my brain.. but anyways yes wowww that case was tough. it was at this point i turned on an 'infinite objections' cheats cuz yeah no way was i figuring this out under 5 penalties, and saving and reloading was a pain in the ass to do. also was not a fan of the SHEER AMOUNT of evidence i had in that case like jesusssss dude.. no cuz in the last trial shit was really difficult cuz there were so many possible things i could say, i hope in future games evidence is organized better + theres a case summary tab of sorts cuz wow that was a Long Case and part of why i played this case for 12 straight hours was bc i might end up forgetting a detail thats not in the court record but i would need to know in order to progress the case (like fucking case 3 t-bone bullshit..... the plate in my court record is a completely different plate why am i just meant to remember that the plate in studio 2 was completely empty u motherfuckaaaa). but yeah it was super super cool to see the vulnerabilities of the court come under the fire, all the behind the scenes corruption coming into light and it was awesome having wright and edgeworth be ultra epic yaoi warriors unveiling the truth together. very awesome. i really like this line:

its a lot to think about, especially in regards to the capabilities of the court and whether the truth and justice and the law are compatible, with how the last two cases were heavily involved with former cases which had rulings that didnt uncover the entire truth, and how these suppressed truths came back with a vengeance. im soooo super excited to read about the real world inspiration behind this franchise and the various criticisms against the japanese legal system and just the various weaknesses of legal systems in general.

and i like ema!!!!! she was so sweet and thank fucking god we finally have forensics, even if its ds gimmicks forensics at least its something. it was very neat how even though she played the same role as maya, she stood out as her own different character, not just by being an 'opposite' of maya with the science spiritual contrast, but ema was a lot more ditzy and like.. both maya and ema were genki girls who were wright's emotional support teenage girls, but maya was slightly more level-headed, ema was more 'logical' but more 'panicked' in a sense. idk how to describe it well but the two had differences beyond their capabilities and circumstances, and it was really neat bc it demonstrated how fleshed out the various characters are, theres many characters who are similar to one another in a way (larry and gumshoe, edgeworth and von karma, etc), yet theres just enough to meaningfully set them apart beyond their character designs and functions. the character writing is just so neat! despite the characters' bizarreness there was still so much depth and genuinely striking emotions which kept the entire game very captivating.

MAYA!!! i love maya a lot. im so happy she got to be her own character and had her own doubts and struggles, i think her leaving at the 'end' of the game was the best thing ever for her character, very touching and i loved how i had to tell her HOLD IT! before she left, very sweet.... it was great to see both her and wright grow out of mia's shadow, i liked how her spiritual capabilities werent treated disrespectfully at any point cuz the supernatural is real af #GhostBeliever but yes she was a very awesome character 🥰 i cant wait to see her again and i BETTER fucking see her again and SOON..

also ive made several jokes already abt edgeworth wright yaoi bla bla bla but genuinely OMGGG bro... their setup is genuinely so good shit has me gushing like WOAH!!!! it is so DRAMATIC it is so ROMANTIC it is so GOOD!!!! becoming an attorney to be with your childhood friend except they end up being a PROSECUTOR and you guys are OPPONENTS and like WORUHSHJFK!!!! they were your defense attorney as a child so now youre their defense as an adult and fucking "Edgeworth… I'll be waiting for you in court" LIKE BITCH!!!! not to mention edgeworth is a Professional tsundere like he does this shit PROFESSIONALLY like HOLY SHIT!!!! it feels like its been so long since ive had such like straight cut romantic drama like this tension is so palpable and dramatic i am just SOOO excited to see where this relationship goes cuz this shit is sooo crazy. this setup is crazy good and nuts and like wow.. WOWWW i like this a lot. i <3 ROMANTIC DRAMA. and i really like the tension building up to the 4th case where this really blows over like we just gets tidbits and hints of how the two knew each other throughout the game and then everything fits into place so satisfyingly like thats awesome i love this

general gameplay speaking i have some issues which is to be expected cuz this is an old af game from 2005, wish i could skip text ive already seen and look at previous text boxes etc etc etc, im hopeful that these get fixed up in future titles cuz game devs strive for perfection so i #Trust future titles will be better in that regard, but that aside ive said this already but the mic function is literally sooo funny to me 😭 i played most of this game lying in my bed and there were many times where im too lazy to touch the screen w my left hand so id just press the y button and mumble speak into the mic which is a hilarious option to have 😭 i hope this isnt just a onetime gimmick and i get to do this in other games, cuz yelling out OBJECTION at the very end of the game was soooo so funny

also one last thing. in the last trial of the last case edgeworth just brought up a completely random case from the past and the judge just let him do that SMHHHH cuz god forbid i say anything off topic or i get fucking kicked out 🙄🙄🙄 bitch!!

anyways I FINISHED THE GAME YAYYYY!!!

[tweedlydumbtweedlydoo]

Peace | Bucky Barnes x reader

Requested by anon / Summary: You and Bucky get in an argument and you go MIA for a couple days.

A/N: I’m a litle iffy about this one. I didn’t care for the beginning but I really liked how the end turned out. I hope you guys enjoy! xx 

Tag list is at the end. Let me know if you want to be added xx

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“No, you can’t do this, Bucky!” You follow Bucky into your shared bedroom as he begins packing a bag. He got it into his head that he was more than capable to help Sam out on this new mission. However, it would be against the rules of the pardon the president gave him for being the Winter Soldier. 

“Sam needs my help, y/n. I can’t leave him to go alone on this mission.”  

“Sam does not need your help. If you go on this mission and get caught, they could take away your pardon and put you in jail. For life!”  

“That’s why we won’t get caught.”  

“There is no guarantee of that.” You shake your head and cross your arms over your chest. Bucky wasn’t seeing things clearly and it only angered you more that he was willing to put his freedom on the line for a mission. Especially after everything you and him went through to get to this very moment. It was like he was throwing all this hard work away.  

“I have to go.” He says, facing you. His voice is stern, “This isn’t up for negotiation.”  

“You do not have to go! You are not obligated to do anything someone tells you anymore. You’re a free man, Bucky.” You grasp his hands in yours, “You and I are free to live our lives, Bucky.. no crazy missions, no wars, no danger. We can be a normal couple.”  

“We can’t be a normal couple y/n,” He lets go of your hands, “Not with a past like mine.” He grabs his bag from the bed then stares into your tear-filled eyes.  

“We worked our asses off to get here today, Bucky! Those hours we spent in therapy, the hours spent trying to figure out how to move past your winter soldier days. You’re throwing all of it away on a mission! You’re.. you’re throwing a future with me away.”  

“He needs my help.” Is all he says as he pushes passed you. 

“If you walk out that door, Bucky Barnes, I promise you, that I will not be here when you get back.” You warn with tear filled eyes. You’d hoped Bucky’s love for you and the fear of losing you would overpower his overwhelming desire to help people when they need it even if it wasn’t the right thing to do. You didn’t know at the time if you truly meant the words spoken and if you could really bring yourself to leave Bucky even after everything the two of you had been through.  

He doesn’t turn around or even look back at you over his shoulder and instead walks through the door, leaving you standing alone in your once shared bedroom. That was the only answer you needed.

  ~ 

 Bucky left for that mission with Sam and you packed all your things heading for your favorite place, y/f/p. There were no avengers around you so there was no one to tell where you would be. No one knew of your location except for you, and this was probably toxic to think about, but you hoped it scared Bucky that he didn’t know where you would be. It was wrong of him to choose a mission over you, and you wanted him to see that. Yeah, it probably wasn’t the best way to show him, but you told him if he walked out the door you wouldn’t be there so you’re just sticking to your word.  

In all honesty, Bucky didn’t think you were serious about leaving and that it was an in the moment thing for you to say. You’d been there for him during his recovery and he knew he didn’t make it easy on you but still you chose to stay. He was grateful to have you by his side especially after everyone around him left.  

He was in for a rude awakening when he opened the door to your shared apartment. “Y/n? Doll?” He kicked off his shoes, knowing you hated when he tracked in dirt on his shoes. When you didn’t answer he proceeded through the apartment, only to find your favorite blanket that occupied the back of the couch was gone. 

 “y/n?” He called out once more, but no answer. As he made his way through the house, he realized none of your things were in the place you left them. When he entered the bedroom, he immediately started going through the drawers, but none of your things were in them. He pulled the door to the closet open and the only clothes occupying it were his.  

You’d left him and it was all his fault. 

~ 

He spent the next hour trying not to destroy the apartment. You had really left him, and he had no idea where you had gone. He called your phone, but it went straight to voicemail. He called Sam, but he had no idea where you’d be either.

Nat was dead; Wanda was off somewhere so that ruled out two people you would have told. Thor was in space with the Guardian’s. There had been no one for you to tell and he suddenly realized the severity of the situation. You were really gone, and he might never see you again.  

~  

It was a few days later and you decided to turn your phone back on. It was spammed with dozens of texts, calls and voicemails from Bucky. You tapped on a random voicemail and Bucky’s voice filled your ears.

“Doll… Please.” He’d been crying and his voice cracked, “I need you. I can’t do this without you and I was stupid to think some mission would fill my void of needing to do something.” He sniffles, “I finally have peace; something I haven’t had in a while and I guess I felt like a mission would make me feel better. That it would make me feel more like myself, but it wasn’t it. It wasn’t the answer.” There was a soft and quiet sob, “I need you, y/n. Please don’t do this, don’t leave me. I don’t have anyone else and you’re all I have.” More sobs, “You’re all I have,” and then the line beeped, ending the voicemail. 

You would be lying if you weren’t crying by the end of the message. The sound of Bucky’s broken voice and the sobs. Now, everything began to make sense. Why he left, why he needed to go on that mission. He was beginning to feel peace after fighting war after war and thought that he needed to be fighting a war, doing something. It was his trauma response.  

~  

It was late when you entered the apartment and you figured Bucky would be asleep, so you were quiet. You headed for your bedroom and were surprised to find Bucky not in bed, but he was laid on the floor next to the bed. He hadn’t slept on the floor since he’d come home from fighting Thanos.  

You set your things down in the floor and immediately made your way to him, “Bucky.”  

He stirred in his sleep and you called out his name once more. You didn’t want to scare him by sneaking up on him. That was something you two had learned after the first time you did that trying to sneak into bed, careful not to wake him. He woke up in a panic and had attacked you. It was after that you two decided therapy would be a good idea. 

“Bucky.”  

He inhaled as he woke, his eyes scanning for danger, but he only sees yours, “Y/n.” He breaths out in relief. 

Crawling next to him you laid down, your head going to his chest and you wrapped your free arm around him, “I’m here.”  

His arms engulfed your body and he couldn’t help but start to sob. He just knew he’d lost you for good and it was all his fault. He’d been alone all those years and then you came along, and he didn’t want to be alone again.  

You only tightened your arm around him, “I’m not going anywhere.”  

You two laid like that the rest of the night, enveloped in each other’s arms. This was the peace Bucky longed for; the peace Bucky deserved. You were his peace, and he wasn’t going to lose it again. 

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[hb-writes]

Visions. Voices. Choices.

Summary: Mia doesn't know whether she wants to remain human or become a vampire, but when Alice has a vision condemning her to a mortal life, she knows she wants to at least have a choice.

Characters: Alice Cullen & Mia Cullen (OC)

Content Warning: Nothing, I think?

A/N: Requested - Prompt: Don't be like that.

Alice refolded the clothing she’d bought earlier that afternoon, setting a red cardigan on the pile intended for her little sister. Mia’s pile was bigger than the other piles today, something Mia took as confirmation of Alice’s guilt.

Mia wasn’t quite wrong. Alice did feel guilty. She couldn’t control her visions. She couldn’t control whether or not some piece of the future slipped through Mia’s defenses, but it still felt like spying when it happened. 

Alice added another sweater to the pile—a chunky cream-colored knit that was more in line with Mia’s style than most things Alice forced into the girl’s closet. “Mia, it doesn’t ma—” 

Mia sat up, bringing one of the decorative throw pillows into her lap. “What do you mean it doesn’t matter?” 

“You’ve been very upset recently.” Alice glanced up from her folding. “I wasn’t trying to look, but—”

“But you did. You looked,” Mia said. “What did you see?” 

Mia knew she had been slipping. She had felt it in the small doses of Jasper’s calming waves. She’d cursed Edward out in her mind and he, rather unfortunately or fortunately, depending on one’s viewpoint, had heard it. It wasn’t exactly a surprise that Alice had seen something while Mia’s defenses were rattled, but Alice’s assertion that it didn’t matter…that certainly didn’t seem to be the case. 

“Tell me, Alice.” 

Alice sighed, stopping with the clothing and looking at her sister. “Seventy-three. Human. Happy,” she finally said. “It was…firm.” 

“Well, your visions are subject to change,” Mia said, rolling her eyes at Alice’s sigh. “They are. I can…I can change my future. If one of you won’t do it, I can just…I’d have no trouble finding someone to...” 

Mia consciously allowed her defenses to slip. She shifted her thoughts and her intentions. She would be a vampire. She would make it so…if only to prove she could. Mia thought on it as hard as she could, imagining all of the routes to that singular outcome. She eliminated in her heart and in her mind any possibility of a future with children, any future with aging, any future where she wasn’t one of them. 

As Mia squeezed her eyes shut, a different future took root in Alice’s mind, a blankness coming over her gaze as the vision came to her. Alice gasped as she saw it—several lines converging on a certain point, a certain future—Mia with red eyes. Mia with skin cold and smooth as hers. Mia without a heartbeat. This vision, too, was firm. 

Mia waited in silence as Alice shook free of the vision. She didn’t need to say ‘I told you so,’ but Mia was feeling smug that reality had matched up with her words, that reality supported her access to choice. In the end, this would be up to her, their opinions aside. 

“You told them about the vision?” Mia asked when Alice met her eye. 

Now that Mia knew what Alice had seen, she figured her sister must have shared her insights with the others. Mia imagined a happy little family meeting in the middle of the night, conveniently leaving her unaware while she attended to the pesky human need for sleep. 

Alice had at the very least told Edward. Mia could think of no other reason why her brother would so suddenly stop arguing with her on the subject. The whole family had taken a deliberate step back from the fight. There was no other explanation for it, especially knowing that Alice had seen what she had. 

Part of Mia was happy for the reprieve. Arguing with Edward was exhausting. Fraying her father’s usually enduring patience was exhausting. And the truth was Mia didn’t truly know what she wanted with respect to her future. She at once felt very much entitled and far too young to make such a decision. Edward was very adamantly against it. Rose, too. The others were less concrete in their opinions, Mia included. More than she was fighting for them to change her…she was fighting for the option to remain open to her. Fighting to maintain a voice. A choice. 

She was fighting for something none of them had ever had when it came to this—a little agency. 

“You told Edward what you saw,” Mia said. Somehow that felt like a greater trespass. Alice couldn’t control when she caught a piece of her sister’s future, but she could keep it to herself. She didn’t have to share Mia’s secrets. “And Dad,” she ventured. “You couldn’t just keep it to—”

Alice frowned at her sister. “Mia, don’t be like that.” 

“No, Alice. You don’t get to tell me how to be or who I’ll be. I…I have a choice here.”

Alice nodded. While Edward and Carlisle advocated for a certain future for their Mia, Alice quietly hoped the girl would one day be one of them. She wanted her sister forever. Alice wholeheartedly believed in Mia making that choice. 

“I didn’t mean to tell him,” Alice conceded as she sat beside her sister. “You know how nosy he is. He was probably trying to hear something.” 

The hint of a smile tugged at Mia’s lips and she didn’t pull away when Alice grabbed her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. Alice hadn’t meant to tell Edward. He had heard her thoughts before she’d had a chance to quiet them, but, intended or not, Alice had been happy to have a cease-fire between her siblings. 

“Can you let him hear about this one, too?” Mia asked.

Alice raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure you want to fight with him again?” 

Mia shrugged. “We weren’t done fighting yet,” she said as if there was a quota to fill, a set amount of minutes she and Edward were meant to spend caught up in their chaotic turmoil, but it was more than that. Mia didn’t need her brother to agree with her becoming a vampire, but she did need him to accept that she had a choice. And he’d never do that thinking her fate was sealed one way or the other. 

“When do you want me to tell him?” 

Mia shrugged again. “I’ll leave that up to you.” 

Twilight (We Intertwined) Masterlist

[storiesforallfandoms]

driver’s license ~ machine gun kelly

word count: 2520

request?: no

description: in which a new song reminds her too much of her ex, and leads them to reconnect

pairing: machine gun kelly x female!reader

warnings: swearing, angst, sadness

based on this song (of course)

masterlist

Who knew that a song by a 17 year old could cause so much hurt to be brought back for me? Not to bash 17 year olds or anything, but when I was 17 I could never write something so heartbreakingly beautiful.

I was on my way home from work when the song came on the radio for the first time. I was captivated by the lyrics immediately and found myself having to pull over because I couldn’t stop crying. It took a solid five minutes and having to play my happy playlist on Spotify before I finally felt okay enough to get home, however the minute I got in through the door I found the song on Spotify and listened to it all night.

The lyrics connected with me in a way that a song hadn’t in years, and the pain in the singer’s voice opened up fresh wounds that I had thought were long closed.

She's so much older than me She's everything I'm insecure about

Of course he ended up with her. Even if he hadn’t actually left me for her, he always told me there was nothing between them besides on screen chemistry. And now they were dating and supposedly “so in love”.

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

He wrote so many songs about me. He played every one of them for me after writing and recording them, just to get my approval and my okay to put them out. They were beautiful songs - songs in which he promised forever. He’d always said he was going to marry me one day, make me the mother of his future kids. His “forever girl”.

Can't drive past the places we used to go to 'Cause I still fucking love you, babe

God...did I ever still love him.

Our relationship didn’t get a proper closure. At least, not on my end. It all happened so fast. He came home after a long tour and was silent the whole night. He didn’t even try to make love to me the way he always did after being away from me for so long. The next morning, he told me over breakfast that he had lost feelings for me. He asked me to get my things and take them back to the apartment I still had despite basically living out of his home. Then he left, saying he didn’t want to be there to watch me leave.

After that, it was like he stopped existing. Well, it was like Colson Baker stopped existing. Machine Gun Kelly was everywhere, especially after announcing his new relationship with Megan Fox, in which he made sure to post pictures and videos with her basically every week. But the Colson I knew and loved stopped existing. He blocked me on everything, even my phone number. He didn’t reach out to me, neither did Casie. I figured the latter was because her father told her not to, which almost hurt more than the breakup did. I loved Casie like my own daughter, and I loved Colson more than anything. And in the span of 12 hours, I lost both of them.

I credited that non-closure to the reason I had such a hard time moving on, even after being broken up almost a year. I really thought I was okay, until I heard fucking Olivia Rodrigo singing about her own heartbreak, and it made me remember mine was still fresh.

On one day that my thoughts were becoming too dark to bare on my own, I decided to go out for a drive to clear my head. I turned on the song, just to make myself more depressed I guess. I wasn’t really paying attention to the road (not good, I know) and, I guess by some muscle memory, I found myself driving down Colson’s street. I hadn’t realized where I was until I saw his familiar house, which his familiar car in the driveway...and his familiar tall frame getting out of it.

My breath caught in my throat and I was sure I was about to crash the car. I looked at him for a little too long, every good memory we ever had rushing back in that moment. He was looking down at his keys as he bumped the car door shut with his hip. I wondered if Megan was in the house waiting for him, and found that that thought hurt me more than actually seeing him.

I saw his head lifting, looking in my direction, for a split second before my eyes darted back to the road. I hoped he couldn’t see me in the driver’s seat, or that he didn’t see me looking at him. I hoped he just thought I was a random car passing through the neighborhood. If he couldn’t see that it was specifically me driving, there was no way he’d know it was my car. There were too many cars like it.

My heart was racing and I could feel tears welling up in my eyes again. I knew I had to pull over, but I was still too close to his house to feel comfortable stopping. I blinked my tears away and continued driving, trying to steady my heartbeat as I drove to the coffee shop just at the end of his road. The one we always used to go to.

I got out and went inside, hoping that getting something to eat and drink would help me to settle down before I drove home. I ordered an iced coffee and a muffin and took it to sit in a booth tucked away in the back of the coffee shop. I was trying to distract myself with my phone when someone approached and spoke.

“Hey.”

My whole body tensed up as I looked up to see - of course - Colson stood over me.

“Hey,” I said. I cringed at how hoarse my voice sounded. God, pull it together (Y/N).

“I thought that was you driving past my place,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets awkwardly.

“Yeah, sorry,” I said, trying to come up with some excuse on the spot as to why I was in the neighborhood. “I haven’t been to this place in so long and found myself craving some coffee. I guess...it was just muscle memory to come through your way to get here.”

“Don’t apologize,” he said. “I...I actually got a little excited. I thought...I thought maybe you were coming over for a second. I forgot...”

His voice trailed away.

How could he forget we broke up when he was the one who dumped me? And he was the one who moved on soo effortlessly?

“Can I sit?” he asked.

I shrugged in response. “Free country.”

He chuckled at my joke, and my heart did an involuntary flip. God, I missed that laugh.

He sat across from me in the booth and looked down at his hands. I stared down at the food in front of me, suddenly feeling too queasy to eat. Instead, I took another sip of my iced coffee.

“How have you been?” he asked.

The questioned annoyed me.

How have I been?! Well, let’s see: you absolutely shattered my heart, went MIA on me and took your daughter with you, started seeing the much older, much prettier actress that you told me you had no feelings for and decided to rub it in my face through social media, all while I have been so broken for nearly a year that I constantly have friends and family checking in on me to make sure I’m still alive. How the fuck do you think I’ve been?!

I decided not to respond that way though, even though I was aching to make him feel bad for what he did to me. I knew it was the smarter option to try and be the bigger person in this situation.

“I’ve been okay,” I responded, trying to be as vague as possible. “Not too much as happened really. Still...same old me.”

I didn’t ask him how he was, because I already knew. He knew that I knew, because how could I not? His face was plastered everywhere, usually sucking on Megan’s face as well.

“It’s cool to see you,” he said instead. “I...It’s been too long.”

“Well, it tends to be hard to communicate when you block someone on everything overnight.”

I quickly took a sip of my iced coffee, almost wishing that would put the words back in my mouth.

Colson winced. “Yeah, that was...that was wrong of me. I...I’m sorry.”

“Why the fuck are you here, Colson?” I finally snapped. So much for being the bigger person. “Couldn’t you have just watched me drive past in peace? Did you have to follow me?”

“I felt like I had to,” he said. “I wanted...I wanted to know I hadn’t just seen you this time like all the other times I saw a car that looked like yours. I had to know if it was actually you this time. And I...I had to see you in person again.”

“You could’ve called at any time,” I reminded him. “Or messaged on social media, or even just texted. You could’ve even sent a fucking letter, Colson! If you wanted to see me that bad, you had ways of reaching out. You decided not to, you decided that the break up meant I was non-existent to you anymore.”

“I know!” he snapped back, his hand hitting the table and causing the contents on it to rattle. All eyes in the coffee shop were staring at us for a brief moment before going back to what they were doing. “I fucking know, and it was the worst fucking mistake I’ve ever made. I’m so sorry, (Y/N), I was a complete idiot.”

“Sorry means nothing to me, Colson,” I told him. “Sorry doesn’t undo the year of heartbreak and agony you put me through. Sorry doesn’t undo the fact that you left me for six months to go on tour, that you texted and called me every morning and every night to tell me how much you loved me and how you couldn’t wait to see me again, even on the night before you came home, only to do a complete 180 the moment you got off the plane. It doesn’t excuse the fact that you told me to take my shit and leave the place I had considered a home for two years because you were ending the five year relationship that you claimed to be so deeply in love with. And it especially doesn’t excuse the fact that mere months after the break up you were all over Megan fucking Fox!”

He was silent for a long time. His eyes were becoming moist with tears, and I could feel a lump growing in my own throat. But I couldn’t break. I refused to do so. Not in front of him, not right now.

“I’m such a fucking idiot,” he finally breathed, his voice cracking slightly. “You have to know how much I truly do fucking love you, (Y/N). That never went away. It’s still there, you’re still my forever girl in my heart. But when I came home from tour...my manager called me as I was boarding the flight and told me that there was a plan in motion to get promo for the new album and for the movie with Megan. They wanted Megan and I to date for PR, to be all lovey dovey in front of the cameras and to gush over one another constantly. I reminded him about you and he told me I had to break up with you. He gave me no option, he said either I did that or I was being dropped from the label. No album, no movie, no...no nothing. Just the loser who was still being referred to as the idiot who got his career destroyed by Eminem.”

It was a shocking revelation. I had known Colson’s manager, he seemed like such a nice guy. He didn’t seem like the type to give those kinds of ultimatums. But there was that saying about a wolf in sheep’s clothing...

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.

“It was easier to make you think I just wasn’t in love anymore,” he said. “I didn’t want you to think I was choosing my career over you, cause I’d never do that. You meant - you mean - the world to me (Y/N). You’re my everything. I just...all the hard work I was putting into everything, for all of that to go to waste, for everything to flop just because I didn’t want to fake date my co-star. I was afraid of the power my manager held over me so...so I just did it. I went along with the plan. I pretended to be hopelessly in love with Megan when I had no feelings for her at all.”

He reached across the table and took my hands in his. I jumped and thought about pulling away from him, but I couldn’t deny that it felt nice to feel his touch again.

“I love you, (Y/N),” he said. “More than anything, you’re the person I want to be with. That bullshit with Megan, it’s long over. We just haven’t made it known publicly, but it will be announced. I want to try and pick up where things left off with us. I want to have you back in my home - in my arms - preparing to marry you someday. Please, (Y/N), can you please forgive me?”

It was the words I wanted to hear more than anything. I had dreamt about hearing Colson ask to take me back ever since he had broken up with me. At that point in time, I probably would’ve jumped at the chance, too. But this time, I slowly pulled my hands away from his. He looked at me in confusion.

“I can’t,” I told him. “Colson, you really fucking hurt me. You left me with no explanation, not even any closure. I get why you did it, but you have to understand that you telling me now isn’t going to undo a year’s worth of hurt that you put me through. I don’t know if anything will ever undo that at this point.”

I stood from the booth, taking my coffee with me and leaving a heartbroken Colson looking up at me with puppy dog eyes.

“There’s this song I’ve been listening to,” I said. “It’s called Driver’s License. I think it’s the only accurate way to describe how much you hurt me when you broke up with me. I encourage you to listen to it, then you can try to take me back again.”

I turned quickly and left before he could see me cry.

[fictionalfics]

I had an idea. Could you do a crossover thingy where Aizawa has a daughter and she goes missing and he comes in the next day looking worse than normal and then the broadcast gets sent out and Aizawa sees his daughter in it and he gets either happy she’s alive or sad because she’s in a war?

This is s great idea! I’ve never written a parent fic before, so this is quite a challenge. Hope it came out okay!

Title: Not This Time

Pairing: Dad!Aizawa x Daughter!Reader

!TW: VIOLENCE, KIDNAPPING, MENTIONS OF K*LLING, LIGHT ALCOHOL USE!

(Gifs not mine)

“Aizawa-sensei’s been sleeping a lot more than usual, have you noticed Iida-kun?” Midoriya looks at his classmate expectantly as they make their way to the dining hall.

It was true, their rugged teacher had been sleeping in class a lot more lately. He had barely greeted his class before the yellow sleeping bag made its appearance. 

“I’m sure its nothing, Deku,” Ochako chimes in, “This is the first time in a while he’s taught a full class. Besides, you know who he has to deal with.“

Midoriya chuckles as his friend gestures to Kaminari, Bakugo and Kirishima - they didn’t mean to be, but they were one of the main sources of trouble in class 1-A.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

                                                         --------

Back kick. Block. Jump, kick, dodge. Bend the knees, feet to the floor. Breathe, start again. 

The thick material of your scarf is tight around your palms as you dodge attack after attack. You hold your hand out and erase the enemy’s quirk, before landing a swift chop to the neck. Another one down. You handcuff them as fast as you can before dodging a beam of light. It just catches you ear, the scent of burnt hair becoming more intense as you roll to the side.

A stakeout operation gone wrong. A local gang that turned out to be something much bigger. You were fighting a war that had nearly run its course, and this mission was meant to be one of the last. That was, until your stakeout partner revealed she was working for the other team, a double agent. 

That left you in this mess. You wished your dad was there with you right now, but he wasn’t. He’d taught you to cope on your own, you told yourself. You’d manage.

Smack!

                                                       -------

Three days. No text, no call, no you. Shouta had waited in the living room all night, sipping coffee to stay awake. It had been three days since you walked out the door with a great big smile on your face, saying goodbye as you left for work.

Ten years ago, the seemingly heartless man had taken you into his care after saving you from your burning orphanage. The hero saw himself in you, especially since your quirks were so similar. He trained you himself, teaching how to use the capture rope alongside your fists.

You had enrolled in Shiketsu High, in order to separate yourself from your dad, and started your work studies with a mid-ranked but successful pro in your second year. 

Shouta was extremely proud of you, and made sure you knew it every single day.

But it was unlike you to stay out for days at a time without contact. The first night wasn’t so bad - maybe she’s at the bar with friends, I’ll see her in the morning, he thought to himself.

You weren’t there in the morning. He put it down to you staying over a friend’s house - he was up pretty early after all, so you’d be home later.

Nope. Nothing. He continued to make excuses up for you all night, and all the way into the morning too, only grabbing an hour’s sleep before leaving for work.

When he came home to an empty house for the third day in a row, he started to panic for real. Texted you every hour, on the hour. Called a couple of times. Called your workplace, to no avail.

6:30 on the clock. Shouta chugged the rest of his coffee and slung his work bag over his shoulder as he noted it was day four now. Work was going to be a long one.

                                                        ------

Your ears rang as your former partner delivered another slap to your face.

“This would be over so much quicker if you told me where the boss is being held hostage, Y/N. You’re making this so hard for yourself!”

“Go to hell.”

Wack!

A scream held back in your throat, your teeth grind together as you fight through the pain. The edges of your vision began to go black, and you almost considered telling the gang everything.

                                                        ------

Shouta’s thumb was over the send button when he heard your name on the local news. 

Y/N Aizawa missing in action. Something about a fight against a gang, an ambush they said. No other details could be released for citizen safety.

The hero didn’t even realise he’d slid off the couch to kneel in front of the TV. Missing in action. He rested his forehead on the box, his hair sticking to the screen due to static.

Missing. You were missing.

His legs carried him to the agency you worked with. His voice demanded to see your boss, begged for the details of your whereabouts.

They wouldn’t tell him. “We cannot release details to the public, its for her safety as well as theirs,” your boss told him.

Shouta argued that he wasn’t the public, that he was a hero like you.

“There’s nothing more we can do, I’m afraid.”

                                                       -------

The ropes had begun to bite into your wrists as you hung from the ceiling. After deciding the initial interrogation was obsolete, the gang had taken you to a new building and strung you up. Your feet could almost touch the floor, but had given up trying to get free an hour ago. Possibly. You didn’t know how long you’d been there. You were sure you’d stayed awake, but even blinking felt like it took days in that dark room.

You strained your ears from information.

Move........found.....kill her.......risk? No......stupid.....

There wasn’t enough for you to piece together the crumbs of information. You were sure you were going to die at this point. So much potential, a great future ahead of you.

No, you can’t think like that! What would Dad do in this situation?

You couldn’t answer that one. Instead, you hummed a lullaby to yourself - your favourite that he used to sing to you if you’d had a nightmare. This entire situation was a bit of a nightmare, so you thought it was appropriate.

The door opened before you, the bright light bringing tears to your eyes.

                                                       -----

“She’s gotta be alright Shou, she’s tough! Besides, didn’t you go MIA all the time?” 

Hizashi did his best to comfort his friend, handing him a small glass of whiskey, which Shouta drank in one. He slammed the glass to the table with a dull thud.

“That’s different Yamada. I knew where I was, and I was never gone for long. I don’t know where she is, and it’s been nearly a week.”

The blond runs his palm down his face, not wanting to admit the he feared the worst too.

“She’s a hero Shou, bad things happen. You know the dangers and she does too, she’s not dumb.”

“Another whiskey please.”

Hizashi refilled Shouta’s glass, and the liquid disappeared as quickly as he’d poured it.

“She’ll be okay Shou.” 

                                                       ------

Your arms were freed of their painful restraints as your friends occupied the gang and, summoning as much strength as you could, dragged yourself to your feet, using your peer as a crutch. Your head turned to watch your team take on the four or five people that had taken you hostage, silently celebrating as you limped to the exit.

“Sorry we took so long Y/N, it took us a while to figure out where they’d taken ya!”

A tired chuckle escaped you as your co-worker apologised. “At least you’re here now.” Your response wasn’t completely a joke, but you couldn’t blame them. This gang was good at hiding.

“The whole operation is gonna be extended, thanks to the newbie. We had no idea she was a double agent- it’s gonna set us back to square one!”

Double agent. You scolded yourself for not catching on in time. “I’m sorry, I should have figured out sooner. Now the entire mission’s been compromised.”

Your peer sat you in the back of an ambulance that had come along with the police.

“Don’t beat yourself up silly! Even us pros didn’t know, there was no way a student could have guessed!”

The fight was over relatively quickly, thankfully. After the criminals were handed over to the police for interrogation, you were escorted back to the agency to be patched up, and report to the higher-ups.

                                                         ------

Eraser didn’t immediately jump up when the front door creaked open. He was a hundred miles away, trying to convince you to take a day off instead of going to work. You’d be home with him that way, smiling as you cooked your favourite meal in the kitchen. That smile... How badly he missed it.

He felt the couch sink next to him.

“Sorry I’m late Dad, I had one hell of a day at work!”

Dad? He snapped back to reality as the words sunk in. He looked to where the voice came from - his eyes traced it back to you. Covered in cuts and bruises, dark circles adorning your eyes, but you all the same.

“Y/N!” The dark haired man jumped up and lifted you into his arms. You giggled and squeezed him back, giddy with relief.

“Y/N Aizawa, you are grounded forever! What the hell happened to you?”

He set you down on the couch as you began to explain as much as you could, without giving away classified information.

“But I’m here now! I’ve got about a week to recover, because I wasn’t injured too badly, plus they did hold me in the recovery room for a day.”

“A week?” His shoulders slumped at the thought of you fighting. “They’re sending you back out there?”

“Yeah. The mission isn’t over yet, we have to dismantle them completely.”

Shouta ran a hand through his hair, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Promise me you won’t go missing again.”

“I can’t. You of all people should know that.”

“Humour me.”

Breaking eye contact, you sighed, before looking back at your father and smiling as wide as you could. “I won’t go missing this time Dad. I promise.”

“Good.” Shouta patted your head before standing up and making a beeline for the kitchen. “You’re still grounded forever.”

“But Dad!”

“No buts!”

“Even if I make you some coffee? Maybe cook some yakitori?”

“I may reconsider,” he chuckled. You always knew your way to his heart.

He loved his daughter so damn much.

[sluttyten]

Coming Home

Poly Orgy Series: Part 8

Poly Series Chapter Index

summary: when you found out you were pregnant, you worried you’d have to go it alone, but instead you find that you have quite a lot of support, several boyfriends that love you wholeheartedly, and a place to call home.

length: 21,227

tags: pregnancy!!, smut, polyamory, multiple partners, unprotected sex, the usual poly orgy series type of tags

“Baby, I don’t want to have to worry about anything in the future. I don’t want you to have to worry either. I love you so much, and the other night I was thinking about the future, about you, about the baby, and really it seemed to me that there’s only one true next step for me to take.” Mark takes a deep breath.

Your world freezes.

“Baby, will you marry me?” Mark asks even as he’s sinking down on one knee.

“Mark!” You cry out, slapping him on the arm hard enough that the sound echoes around your living room.

“Fuck!” Mark straightens up with a whine, his hand immediately flying up to cover the burning imprint of your hand on his arm. “What the fuck?”

Tears burst to your eyes, though you're not sure exactly why. “Mark, why would you ask me... ask me to marry you?” Your voice pitches up at the end, a surprised and somewhat almost frightened squeal.

Mark looks at you then, all wide-eyed seriousness. “I just thought it’s the right thing to do. If you’re pregnant, then shouldn’t you have something stable? A husband? Someone who can help you out and take care of you and the baby? And with the way our lives are, it’s a miracle that no rumor has gotten out to the fans about you at all yet, but now if it does, if they find out about you being pregnant, well, then everyone’s going to want to know which of us you’re with and the answer can only be one, and it’ll just make sense for us to get married, right?”

“And you think that should be you?”

“Well, why not?” His tone is slightly angry, defensive and hurt.

You sigh and turn your back to him so you can wipe at these tears without him watching you. 

“Baby?”

“Mark.” Your voice breaks and you clear your throat before turning around and addressing him again. “Mark, I appreciate it and I get where you’re coming from, but I’m going to say no. I love you, and I love that you want to do the right thing by marrying me, but it’s simply not fair to all the others. It’s not fair to you if you’re not the--”

“I don’t care about who the dad is.” Mark straightens up, determination burning in his gaze. “I know the odds of it being mine are slim. I would love if it is mine, like, the idea of being a dad is scary, but no matter what happens, who turns out to be the father, I figure I’m still going to be involved, right?”

You open your mouth, but you can’t find any words to comfort him, to give him a satisfying answer. You don’t know what’s going to happen in the future. Of course, you’ve always known that this whole polyamorous relationship couldn’t be sustainable, though you’ve all tried your best. This news, the little life growing inside of you, might just be that last little chip to shatter the relationship to bits. How can you hope to stay in a relationship with them all when you’ve got a baby? How could you raise a child with fourteen possible fathers?

“Maybe I’ll just Mamma Mia the whole situation,” you mumble. 

Mark snorts. “You gonna run away to a Greek island and raise this baby on your own? And in twenty something years when we’re all doing our own things, we’ll get an invite to a wedding, and only then will we unravel the mystery?” He smiles and steps up, wrapping his arms around you, one hand gently cradling the back of your neck. “Baby, you don’t have to do any of that. We’ll all figure this out. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done this tonight. I just.... I’m a traditional kind of guy, I guess. Baby, marriage, moving in together. Those are all things I’ve wanted for a long time, and we’ve already got two of those things in the works. But it’s okay, I understand.” 

You sink into his hug. Mark’s so warm and soft and with his arms wrapped around you, you feel even more sleepy than you had before. You breathe in, just taking in the smell of his soap and laundry detergent, and you breathe out.

“This feels nice,” you mumble, your words muffled against his shoulder. 

Mark’s hum of agreement vibrates through his chest, and a moment later it turns into a laugh.

Without breaking the hug, you ask him, “Why are you laughing?”

“I don’t even have a ring or anything.” Mark’s voice bounces happily, and he hides his face in your shoulder. “Probably a good thing you shot me down, honestly.”

A while later when you’re in bed, Mark yawning now too as he settles into your bed, you sit up and reach over to rummage through the drawer of your bedside table. 

When you turn back around, Mark’s watching you curiously, and he wordlessly gives you his hand when you gesture for him to give it to you. He watches as you uncap a Sharpie marker, and then you separate his ring finger from the others, as you draw a fine black line around the base of his finger. When you’ve completed the ink band you hold his fingers in yours.

“This is a promise,” you tell him, “that we do have a future together, no matter what. That we’ll always be in each other’s lives as lovers or friends or whatever it may be, you’ll always be special to me, Mark Lee.” 

You turn his hand over, and bringing his palm to your lips, you kiss right beneath the black band that you just drew on him.

Mark lunges up, wrapping his arms around you, dragging you down against his chest, and he kisses you, kisses your cheeks and nose and chin, and you’re laughing with your hands braced against his chest, kissing him when you can too.

And the next morning when you wake up, you find that some time in the night, Mark had picked up your abandoned Sharpie, and drawn a matching black ink band on your ring finger.

Things are a bit weird for a while after that while everyone adjusts to the awareness that you’re pregnant. And after your first prenatal appointment, some of the boys start acting even more differently.

For one thing, the appointment confirms that you are indeed pregnant, and about eight to nine weeks along by the looks of things. Which, as you listen to your doctor, makes a lot of sense given the symptoms you’ve been experiencing. And that news of you being approximately eight weeks along, and therefore bringing a baby into the world in about 32 weeks, definitely changes how some of your boyfriends start behaving.

Especially after you show them the ultrasound picture.

It’s just a little gray, blurry blob, but there’s a heat in your chest that’s not caused by the heartburn you’ve begun to feel 

For a few of the boys, this means that they get protective over you. Taeil and WinWin, for example, both offer to do pretty much everything for you, from opening doors to running upstairs to grab something. Anything that actually might be in any possible way considered “overexerting yourself” they argue with you to let them do. 

Johnny, Jaehyun, and to your surprise, Jungwoo, all get much more touchy, wanting to be around you as much as possible. And Jungwoo is just a horny boy all the time, to the point that one evening after you get home from a date with him, as you’re sitting on his lap on the sofa in the otherwise empty house, Jungwoo just starts touching you, and you can tell that he’s already half-hard.

“What is with you lately?” You ask with a laugh, letting Jungwoo pull your shirt over your head. “You’ve been so horny. Is it something I’m doing different?” You perch yourself on his knees, bat your eyelashes at him, and push your chest forward, smiling as his eyes slide down to the curves of your breasts.

“Oh my god... Yeah, angel. Just thinking about you pregnant is actually really sexy.” Jungwoo’s hands settle on your hips. “You’re gonna look even sexier, and your boobs are going to get bigger and, uh, it’s not something I’ve really talked about before, because I was afraid the others would make fun of me or you’d think it’s really weird, but the idea of, like, nursing?” Jungwoo averts his eyes from you, his face going a pale shade of embarrassed. “I think it’s pretty hot.”

You smile and pat his head. “You’ve always had a thing for my boobs, you know, so honestly, I’m not too surprised.” Jungwoo leans into your touch, smiling all sweetly even as his hands knead at your ass roughly. “But you really think me being pregnant is sexy?”

Jungwoo nods. “Definitely. Plus,” he shrugs and says, “I don’t know, there’s just something about you right now that is very, very attractive. Jaehyun says so too.”

“I’m sure he does. Especially since he’s been hot for the idea of knocking me up since the first time we all had sex.” You drape your arms around Jungwoo’s neck. “You, him, Johnny, all three of you are acting so clingy and affectionate lately, meanwhile most of the others wouldn’t dare to try to have sex.” 

Just the day before you’d tried to initiate something with Hendery. He went along with it while you were just making out, but as soon as you slid your hand into his pants to rub his erection to full hardness, he’d backed away, making excuses. Taeyong had done the same a few days before that.

“I’ll dare to do it.” Jungwoo leans his head down, mouths at your breasts, as he murmurs, “I want you to ride me, right here. But turn around.”

Reluctantly you climb off his lap, and as you’re facing away from him, Jungwoo pulls your pants and panties down. You step out of them, look back over your shoulder at him, and see Jungwoo watching you with a look of pure awe on his face. 

“You’re always so beautiful.” Jungwoo slides a hand down your side, over your hip, curving around to your butt. He leans in and drops just a tiny kiss right at the small of your back. “What did we do to deserve you and everything you’ve blessed us with.”

Your face heats up with a blush. 

When he pulls you back onto his lap, his hands settle on your hips, guiding you all the way back until your back is pressed to his chest, his cheek touches yours, and your ass is right over his bulging erection. His fingers flutter for a moment, and then he brushes his hands up to your belly, gentle and light, and then he touches one warm palm flat against your skin, the soothing heat of skin on skin sinks down into you. 

Jungwoo’s lips rest against your cheek as you sigh, relaxing back against him.

His other hand wanders lower, fingertips dipping into the crack between your thighs, and obediently you part them for him, letting your legs fall off to either side of his, giving him access to your wet heat.

“Look at you, already soaking wet, spreading your legs so easily for me.” Jungwoo murmurs. “You really do want it badly, don’t you? How long has it been since one of us touched you?”

Truly not that long. That evening with Taeil, Johnny, Taeyong, Kun, Doyoung, and Ten was the last time, and that was just a little over two weeks ago. But compared to just a couple months ago, a week could be considered a dreadfully long time to go untouched by any of them.

You whine when Jungwoo only strokes his finger teasingly over your entrance, avoiding your clit, hardly giving you anything.

“Too long, Jungwoo. I want you.”

“Me? But I’m sure you went to others first. Lucas? I know you love how big and broad he is, making you feel all small. Or Kun hyung? Remember when he and Ten were hogging you all to themselves; you couldn’t get enough of them then.” Jungwoo teases. “You want me? Why do you want me so badly?”

You squirm, wiggling down against his erection. “Because I love you, Jungwoo. I want you.” 

He tuts, his lips trailing down now from your cheek to your neck, brushing over sensitive skin, his nose bumps against your jaw. “But why though? What exactly do you want about me?”

His teeth meet the skin of your shoulder just barely, and you whine. “I want you to have me all to yourself, Jungwoo. You can make me feel small too. You’re so big and broad and long.” You rub your ass down against his erection, your head dropping back against his shoulder. “I want you to make me feel small, like your little angel doll.”

Jungwoo smiles where his lips are against the top of your shoulder. 

You can feel yourself dripping wet, the slick arousal gathered on his finger that just keeps up its petting of your pussy lips. 

His mouth moves, teeth pricking your skin occasionally, and then you feel the moment that he catches your bra strap between his teeth, dragging it along to the curve of your shoulder. When he releases it, the band tickles down your upper arm, and Jungwoo shifts, focusing his nipping kisses on your other shoulder until he against takes that bra strap between he teeth and drags it over the curve of your shoulder. 

“Sit up, angel.” Jungwoo murmurs, and you do just that, feeling excited but also disappointed when his hands disappear from your skin, only to return a moment later. His slick finger touches against your back along with several non-slicked fingers, and a second later the clasp of your bra comes apart. You let it drop from your arms, leaving you fully exposed in the room, sitting in a fully-clothed Jungwoo’s lap.

He spreads his legs apart, and you lean back against him once more as his spreading legs push yours farther apart as well.

“Sexy.” Jungwoo kisses your cheek again.

He scoots your forward just a little, just enough that he can fit his hand between you both, and unfasten his zipper to get his cock out. You feel him hot and hard against your tailbone, and your core throbs. It’s been too long since you last had one of them inside you, and now....

You moan from the satisfaction of lifting yourself up and sitting down on Jungwoo’s cock. 

“Perfect.” Jungwoo murmurs, his lips against your bare shoulder once more. “Love the feel of you when it’s been a while. The way you react.” His hands circle around to the front of your body, one hand lifted to gentle cup your breast. You groan, leaning back against his chest, sinking down the last inch around him, and Jungwoo’s other hand strokes lightly at your clit. “You’re so beautiful.”

With his arms wrapped around you, his hands caressing your body, his cock filling you up, you feel so perfectly small and safe in his arms, even with you being so exposed out in the room.

Jungwoo smiles as you start to squirm, needing to move to get more than just feeling full and having his teasing touches on your clit. But as you move away, pushing up onto your feet, pulling off his cock, you turn to see Jungwoo frowning slightly. Until you sit back down on his lap facing him. 

“I want to see you.” You push his cock back inside you, nice and snug, and then plant your hands on either side of his face, lower your mouth toward his, and start riding him.

Jungwoo’s hands fall to your hips, keeping your rhythm steady as you bounce in his lap. The sound of your gasping breaths and breathy moans echoes all around the space, and you’re grateful that tonight it’s only the two of you here. You feel the sparks of pleasure buzzing and zipping around under your skin; Jungwoo’s hands grope at your ass, his lips burn along your jaw, and you needed this, you really did. 

The orgasm comes over you before you expected it, suddenly crashing through you--walls clenching around Jungwoo’s dick, thighs twitching, unable to hold you up any longer, but that’s when Jungwoo just holds you up by your hips and keeps fucking you through it, his thrusts rocking through your body, elongating your orgasm.

Jungwoo grunts as he approaches his orgasm, low moans under his breath and swearing, and you just twist your fingers in his hair, dragging his lips to yours as he cums.

He pulls out of you as he does, cumming half inside you and half against your thigh, but you don’t mind. You sink down, feeling the mess as you sit against the front of his jeans, the denim rough against your sensitive clit, but at the moment you’re a glutton for that kind of oversensitivity. 

With Jungwoo’s softening erection still wet and the rough denim of his jeans, you start humping against him, desperate for another orgasm to keep this warm buzzy glow inside of you going. 

“Fuck,” Jungwoo groans. “Gonna cum again, princess? You’re making quite the mess of my jeans, look at you.” You do duck your head, looking down at the front of Jungwoo’s jeans where his own cum is smeared along with your wetness and more of his cum as it leaks out of you while you wantonly rub yourself against the denim, making a larger and larger wet patch, grinding forward against his cock, back along the denim.

His hands circle around your back, broad hands covering the expanse of your back, and you arch backwards a bit, leaning into his touch, keeping the movement of your hips against his pants. Jungwoo dips his head forward, his tongue swipes a circle around one of your nipples, his lips then skirt around kissing your breasts. They hurt but right now it doesn’t feel so bad, not with everything else you have going on.

“Cum again for me. I’ve got you.” Jungwoo murmurs, and he sucks gently on your nipple. Your mind falls straight to what you’d been talking about with him earlier, and you picture Jungwoo sucking on your breasts like this, breastmilk on his tongue, and somehow you find that to be a stimulating thought. 

This orgasm writhes through you, and your hips twitch erratically over his jeans, your body falling into the overwhelming pleasure of it, and you can feel the heat squirting out of you, and Jungwoo’s moans of surprise mix with yours. And all through it, the heat of his hands holding you safely remains, and then he pull your forward against his chest, those same hands rubbing soothingly up and down your back. 

“I’m sorry about your jeans,” you whisper to him after a little while when you’ve come back to yourself. “We should probably throw them in the wash before they’re permanently ruined.”

“No,” Jungwoo hums. “It’s fine. We can just stay like this for a bit longer.”

But you feel like your pussy is drying to the leg of Jungwoo’s pants, and that idea is certainly not pleasant, so when you peel yourself away from him, you wrinkle your nose a bit in disgust and Jungwoo groans at the loss of contact. “Let’s go shower and throw the clothes in the laundry. Plus, we shouldn’t stay here like this much longer. Who knows who will come home and find us like this?”

“I guess you’re right.” Jungwoo stands up suddenly, and it’s then that you really get a look at his pants. The whole crotch of them is dark from you squirting and from his cum. He quickly stuffs his cock away again, wipes his fingers along the front of his pants, and then you watch, bemused, as he lifts his fingers to his face and sniffs.

“You’re gross.” You laugh, taking his hand, and grabbing up your clothes before heading for the stairs.

“What? You smell good.” Jungwoo reaches up to touch your butt as you climb the stairs, and you stop so that you can spin around and look at him, and Jungwoo just grins. “Come on, thought we were going to shower?”

Moving day comes quickly, and the move is easy when you’ve got a whole moving crew at your disposal, every one of them more than happy to move things for you so you don’t strain yourself at all. Especially since they’ve all had multiple chances to look at that little blur that was the beginning of a baby in your ultrasound picture. You first showed off that picture two weeks ago, and now ten weeks along, you’re really starting to feel the pregnancy.

You’re exhausted, wanting to just nap all the time. And then, on top of the morning sickness, you’re dealing with heartburn too, plus just the day before the move, you stood up too quickly and felt dizzy, so now the boys are being very protective over you.

“Don’t lift that!” WinWin cried out in frustration as you bent over to lift a box from the floor. His hand rested on your back as you straightened up. “I’ve got it. Don’t worry about it, what do you think we’re all here for?”

He quickly stooped to lift the box for you. As soon as he was out the door, you looked for anything else that you could do. You hated being unable to help yourself move out. Ten had refused to even let you try to wrangle your cat Miso into the carrier since he seemed to be uneager to leave the apartment and move into his new home. So far most of your stuff had already been taken out before you could lift a finger to help, but now you saw a few boxes left, and just as you moved toward them, Xiaojun came through the door and caught your eye.

Xiaojun shook his head. “Don’t. We’ve got this.”

When you fold your arms across your chest and pout at him, Xiaojun smiles and walks over to you. 

“Don’t be like this.” He laughs. “We’re just looking out for you and the baby.” Xiaojun lifts a hand to your cheek, his thumb touching the corner of your lips tenderly. “Just think, all it takes is one day to move out, and then you’re living with us, baby. No worries about getting home late at night to your empty place.” 

You glance around at your startlingly empty apartment. This little place you’d made into a home, but it had grown less homelike over the last few months as you spent more time with your boyfriends. 

Home was them, the comfort of their kitchen filled with spices and warmth of whatever was cooking up, the sleepiness of sinking into the sofa with a few of them after a long day at work. 

Home was Taeil cuddling up behind you, his nose chilly on the side of your neck, but the rest of him so warm. It was Johnny kissing you hello every time either of you walked into the house after not having seen each other all day. It was quiet chats with Taeyong with your limbs tangled together, Yuta’s little moments of caring for you through words and touches and gifts. Home was Kun and Ten bickering with each other and turning to you to point out that they’re both fools, hearing them murmur ‘I love yous’ with Ten’s chilly fingers intertwining with yours, Kun’s contrastingly warm lips on your skin. Home was the smell of Doyoung and the sound of his voice singing so smooth and beautiful, his laugh, his gentle touches and bright smile when he saw you. It was Jaehyun sleepily slipping into the shower with you, just wanting to be close to you, WinWin silently taking care of you and quietly showing affection through light touches and surprise moments of intimacy. 

You could find home in Jungwoo’s playful, needy rambunctiousness and in his quieter heartfelt moments. Home was in Lucas confiding to you worries and secrets that he feared would make him look weak; it was in Lucas gathering you into his arms and bracing you against his chest, easily making you forget that the rest of the world was out there. Home was Xiaojun holding your face in his hands like the most precious treasure in the world; it was him laughing with his whole chest and spending hours curled together without sleeping, just having the quiet time together on your phones or listening to music or whispering to each other or gazing up at the stars. It was Hendery always being able to make you laugh, knowing the right things to say, caring and worrying and loving you. 

Home was Mark playing his guitar and singing under his breath, smiling out at you from beneath a hoodie, holding your hand as if he worried you might fly away, and most importantly home with Mark was found in him always being the first to invite you into their company, into their hearts and homes.

“Let’s go home,” Xiaojun tells you.

You nod, take his hand, and walk with him out of your apartment for the last time. 

Miso doesn’t like living in the house, not right away. He hisses at the boys, always bolting from room to room, trying to hide from anyone that’s not you. It’s only after Ten accidentally shuts Miso in his room with him and you that Miso finally mellows out just a little bit. After that he likes Ten. Only you and Ten. But that doesn’t keep Taeyong, Taeil, Jeno, YangYang, Renjun, and Jaehyun from trying to befriend him. 

Even when you’re napping on the sofa and Miso curls up on your chest, as soon as Jaehyun and Ten come downstairs, Miso stands up, flicking his tail angrily, and jumping off your chest, which wakes you up. You just catch sight of Miso’s tail disappearing from your line of sight, and then you look around.

It’s dusk outside, the sky a pretty pale blue with hints of pink and periwinkle clouds, and through the door in the kitchen you can hear laughter from outside. Johnny and a few of the others are out there grilling dinner, some others are in the kitchen. Jaehyun sits down across the room from you, but Ten slides onto the sofa with you.

“I’m sorry Miso doesn’t like you, Jaehyun.” You stretch your arms over your head, savoring the feel of your sleepy muscles stretching. You shiver at the feel of your shirt skimming up your stomach, a slight tickle. 

“Yeah,” Ten laughs. “He only likes me. Let’s hope that the baby’s the same way.”

Ten’s chilly hands slip under your shirt and you whine, smacking his hands away. “God, Ten! Stop that!” 

But he laughs and pulls his hands out, only to bring them to his face, puffing some warm breath into them before he does it again. It’s slightly better, though not by much. You pout at him. 

“I just want to feel.”

“Feel what? The baby’s not big enough to kick yet. I don’t think it even has proper legs. It might still have a tail.” You roll your eyes, looking across the room to where Jaehyun is watching all of this with a light smile on his lips. “And I’m not even showing yet, so you’re literally just feeling up my belly. I have much less to show under here than you do.”

And you dive for his shirt, trying to pull it up to expose his toned abs, even higher so that you see the black tip of his chest tattoo. Ten laughs and wrestles his shirt out of your grip carefully. He drops a kiss on your lips, and dances away before you can protest. He vanishes out the back door of the house, into the cooling afternoon where Johnny and Hendery are grilling dinner. 

You sigh and sink lower into the cushions. Jaehyun’s looking back down at his phone now, but you watch him anyway. 

Ever since all of this with you announcing your pregnancy, showing off the first ultrasound of Little Blobby (as you and a few of the others, including Jisung and Haechan, have begun calling it), and since moving in, you haven’t really had many opportunities to speak one-on-one with Jaehyun. He’s been busy MCing, taking on an acting role, fulfilling other idol duties. 

“Jaehyun?” You call. He looks up at you, and when you hold out your hand to him even though there’s still quite a few feet of empty space between you and him, he raises his eyebrows. “Come here?”

Jaehyun slides smoothly onto his feet, and you scoot into more of an upright position, making room for him to join you in the oversized armchair that you’ve been reclining in. He plops right into the spot with you, and you shift around, getting comfortable, which ends up meaning that you’re tucked against his side, one leg thrown over his. Jaehyun takes your hand, lifts it to his lips, and then brings your intertwined hands back down to rest atop the leg you have thrown over his.

“Yes, my love?” His voice is low, soft, and a bit scratchy as you know he’s at the tail end of a cold.

“I just wanted to be close to you,” you tell him. “And I feel like we haven’t really talked much recently. I miss you. Have you been sleeping enough? Eating enough?”

Jaehyun’s nose crinkles as he laughs. “Mom instincts already kicking in? Yes, I’m getting plenty of those things. I’ve been busy, but I’m managing. What about you? I heard you’ve been having trouble sleeping the past few nights. Taeil hyung said that you toss and turn. Mark said that you were sleep talking about some weird shit last night.”

You snort. “Yeah, last night I had a dream that we were all out eating at a restaurant, like one of those weird ones you’ll find sometimes in America with the fresh seafood tanks? With lobsters and stuff in them? And we were waiting for our food to be served, and it was taking forever, so Doyoung asked the waiter how much longer it would be, and the waiter pointed at me then at the fish tank and said, looks like you’re almost done. And there, in the giant tank, was me, looking like one of the people from Avatar in that big tank, my belly all big. It was fucking weird, that’s for sure.”

Jaehyun gives you a weird look, but laughs. “Your imagination is something else. But other than that weird dream, you’re doing well? Morning sickness still bad?”

You nod. “I walked past Jisung and Chenle earlier after they got home from practice, and they were eating like spicy teokbokki and all those smells combined, I couldn’t take it. Also, I guess my weird food cravings are starting too, because I really wanted crunchy peanut butter and watermelon earlier? I have no idea where that craving came from.” You shrug, and look at Jaehyun’s face again. “But I think morning sickness might be going away soon, that’s what the blogs I’ve looked at say. That the sickness starts to wane at the end of the first trimester and goes away for most women. Hopefully I’m not one of the ones that it continues for, I don’t think I’ll be able to handle that.”

He’s looking down at your belly, and you bite your lip. Was he even listening while were talking? He looks miles away. 

You bump him with your shoulder. “Jae? What are you thinking about?”

Jaehyun blows out a heavy breath. “You’re really pregnant, huh?”

You sit up a bit more, lean away from him so you can look at him more straight on. “Yeah? Duh. Thought we went over this like four weeks ago? Confirmed by an ultrasound and everything. And even before that you were totally on board when all I had was one positive cheap pregnancy test from a convenience store. Why the tone of, like, surprise?”

Jaehyun shakes his head. “No, it’s not-- I’m just still thinking about it a lot. Like, it’s amazing, honestly. Thinking that one of us is a dad, and we don’t really know it. I know,” he sighs, rubbing a hand over his face as he says, “That I’ve been a bit of a jealous asshole in the past. And I’ve tried working on that, right? I love you and of course I want this baby to be mine, like, fuck, how many times have I talked about that. But I want you to know that, uh, even if it’s not mine, I’m just excited and amazed that in a few months you’re going to have a baby. When do you get to find out the sex?”

“I think about at 20-ish weeks.”

“And have you started thinking about names yet?” Jaehyun strokes his thumb over your knuckles. 

Before you can answer him, Yuta appears, perching himself on the arm of the chair beside Jaehyun. “What are we talking about?”

“The baby,” Jaehyun answers, “and if she has any names that she’s thinking about.”

“You should definitely give the baby a Japanese name,” Yuta teases. “Since I’m probably the father.”

Jaehyun’s head turns so fast that you’re surprised you don’t hear his neck crack.  “Why do you think that?” The look he gives Yuta is so sharp, the glare so powerful, you just hide your face against Jaehyun’s neck, trying to soothe him with some physical attention. So much for working on his jealousy. It looks could kill, Yuta would be six feet under. 

“I’m just joking, Jaehyunnie.” Yuta pats the younger man’s hair. “But one of the fourteen of us is the father, and considering how often you sit out and just watch the rest of us fuck her, I’d say your odds are pretty low.” Yuta says that with a smile on his face, but Jaehyun frowns and slaps Yuta’s hand away.

“Oh, knock it off, both of you.” You place a kiss lightly on Jaehyun’s neck, and put your hand on his head, comb your fingers soothingly through his hair. “I literally slept with every single one of you right around the time that this Little Blob was made, so therefore, it really could be any of you. And, about names, I don’t think I’m really going to choose until after the baby is born. It’ll be my choice.”

“How are you going to choose which of us goes with you to have the baby?” Yuta asks.

“Maybe I won’t take any of you along.” You tease. “Maybe it’ll just be me and my mother. Speaking of which, I still haven’t told them.”

Jaehyun freezes then turns to look at you slowly. “What do you mean you haven’t told them yet? Aren’t you, like, twelve weeks along? Babe, you need to tell your parents.”

You know that, you completely agree that you need to tell them. But you know they’re going to ask who the father is, that they’ll definitely judge you harshly when you tell them that you don’t know who the father is, and they won’t understand if you attempt to reassure them that it’s okay that you don’t know who the father is because you know that it’s for sure one of your fourteen boyfriends, because your parents likely will disapprove of that too.

“You can tell them I’m the father, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Jaehyun says softly, tipping his head gently against yours. 

You bite your lip. “Thank you. That would help, for sure, but also, like you said, I’m twelve weeks along. My mother will be pissed that I waited so long to tell her.”

Yuta shrugs. “Tell her that you just found out. It’s not like you’re showing. So you say that you’ve been feeling weird, and you finally went to the doctor to get checked out, and found out you’re pregnant.”

“Just text her, tell her you’re pregnant, and that you don’t want to answer a lot of questions.” WinWin appears behind the chair, leaning forward to rest his chin on his hands. “At least you can tell your parents that you’re adding a grandchild to the family now. One of us is going to have to wait to tell our family about the baby until after it’s born when we find out who the father is.”

You hadn’t thought about that either. 

“I’m sorry,” you apologize, resting your head again on Jaehyun’s shoulder.

“Don’t apologize for that.�� Yuta stands up. “It’s not like it’s your fault.”

“Time to eat!” Johnny shouts as he comes through the door, carrying a platter piled with grilled meat. You catch a whiff of it.

Covering your nose, you shake your head. “I can’t deal with that.” Johnny catches sight of your face and whisks the plate back outside, not that it takes the smell with it, and your stomach rolls. “I’m going upstairs. I’m not hungry.” You pull yourself out of the chair and hurry up the stairs, gladly breathing the air up on the top floor that’s untainted by the smell of meat.

You shut yourself in the room you share with Taeil, and as you sit in the bed, your back to the headboard, you stare nervously down at the phone in your hand. 

It takes a few moments to build up your courage to finally press the contact for your mother, and you hold your phone up to your ear.

When she answers, you take a deep breath. “Hi, what are you up to?”

“Oh, nothing. Just watching your father try not to burn our meal.” She laughs, and you can hear your dad laughing in the background too. “What are you up to? Dinner plans tonight?”

Your heart pounds in your chest. “Um, no. Actually there’s something I want to talk to you and dad about.”

“Are you okay?” Your mother’s voice suddenly grows sharp, concerned.

“I’m fine. Definitely. Can you put me on speaker?” You wait a moment until your mother gives you a confirmation that she’s done just that. Your dad’s speaking over your mother, both of them with concerned tones that you finally silence by speaking over them even louder. “Do you remember me saying I’m seeing someone?”

You had, several months ago, told your parents that you were seeing someone after your mother had repeatedly tried setting you up with a young man that owned her favorite bakery. Up to that point you didn’t want to even tell them that you were seeing someone so they wouldn’t ask too many questions. You’d not given them many details, and they didn’t push. 

“Yes, we remember.” Your mother says.

“So, things have gotten pretty serious with him. Especially recently.” You can hear your voice shaking with nerves. This is not how you ever imagined telling your parents you were pregnant. You’d always thought that cute reveals to new grandparents were very entertaining videos to watch online, but now that you’re in this situation, you don’t think you could do it, not given the circumstances.

“Serious?” You father repeats. “How serious?”

You’re quiet for a few moments as you try to think of the best way to phrase it, but you wait so long that you mom says your name, checking to make sure that you’re still on the line.

“Um, so, I’m pregnant. About twelve weeks along, according to the doctor.”

“Twelve weeks?!” Your mother gasps. “Oh my! You’re pregnant! Honey, she’s having a baby! And your boyfriend... he knows? Is he excited also?”

“Do we finally get to meet the boy?” Your dad asks. “Now that he’s got a baby in you?”

Your mother hisses your dad’s name, and you hear her slap his arm. “But really, do we get to meet our future son-in-law?”

“Well, that’s another thing. Don’t.... I don’t want you to think that he and I are getting married now because of this.” You cradle the phone in your hands. “Nothing like that is set in stone. Right now, we’re just focusing on having the baby. And I suppose you should meet him.” But you’re not sure about that. It doesn’t seem fair for you to choose one of your boyfriends, one who may not be the father, and have him be the only man in this relationship that gets to meet your parents. 

“Oh, well, I suppose you’ve never been so much of a traditionalist, have you? So, it’s not terribly much of a surprise that you’re not necessarily going to marry him. But a baby! Our baby’s having a baby!” Your mother cries out in excitement. 

You spend the next half an hour to forty-five minutes talking with your parents, catching them up on moments in your life, talking about your pregnancy, dipping into details of how your mother’s pregnancy with you had gone. By the time you end the call, you feel much better, much lighter.

You feel as if the transformation happens suddenly. One day you look just as you have usually done, and then the next.... you’ve popped, the bump evident when you look in the half-fogged mirror of the bathroom.

You can’t help touching your belly, feeling the mound that certainly wasn’t there just weeks before.

“What are you doing?” Johnny asks, coming up behind you. He wraps his arms around you, hands covering yours on your belly. His skin is still wet and warm from the shower that’s still running in the background for you to step into. His hand is such a welcome presence, the heat of him against your bare skin. “You’re starting to show.”

You’re about fifteen weeks at this point, right in the timeline your doctor had told you that you might start showing. After that moment in the bathroom, you start wearing looser clothing, and just find it increasingly difficult to hide your pregnancy from anyone that you’d still been trying to keep it from, and your body is changing in a way that other people certainly take notice of.

“Shit, look at you, baby.” Mark whistles when he walks into the kitchen late one night, and he finds you standing beside the refrigerator with a midnight snack. You’re just wearing a pair of shorts and a low-cut camisole. Your belly standing out in evidence of the life inside of you, but you’re quickly made aware that that’s not exactly what Mark is pointing out.

He steps closer to you, and instead of touching your belly (as all the others have done as soon as they realized you were starting to show), Mark cups your tits.

“They’re bigger now.” His eyes are wide glued to your chest.

“Of course they’re bigger. Once this little blob comes out I’m going to have to feed it with these.” You nudge his hands away. “They’re not just toys for you all to play with, you know. They serve a purpose.”

Mark smiles at you and kisses your cheek. “I know, baby.” He tucks his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants, and he stands there watching you eat, apparently entirely forgetting the reason that he entered the room himself. It’s quiet for a moment before Mark finally asks, “When’s your next appointment? Don’t you get to learn the sex of the baby soon?”

You nod. “Soon. I’m not sure if I actually want to know what we’re having though.” You drop a hand down to touch your little barely-there bump. “I might want it to be a surprise.”

Mark steps closer again, and this time he touches your belly too. “This little angel’s going to be full of surprises for us, isn’t it?”

You push your fingers into Mark’s hair, enjoying having him so close to you and the way he melts into your touch. Mark’s eyes flutter shut as you comb your fingers through his hair, he leans his forehead down against yours.

“Mark?” Your voice is very quiet even in the silence of the kitchen. “Mark, what do you want from this?”

“What do you mean?” He murmurs, not pulling back from you at all, but staying right there with his eyes closed and his forehead against yours. 

“I mean, do you want to be the dad? Or are you secretly hoping it’s one of the others? Do you want it to be a boy or a girl? Do you think this is going to really fuck up this relationship?”

“I think if it was going to mess this up, it would’ve already done so, right?” He stands up straight again, putting a few inches of space between you. “We’re all still here, excited about the baby. Hell, even the others are excited and they’ve not got any DNA in the game.”

You know he’s talking about the younger members, the ones not in this relationship. They’ve all been excited and supportive too. You’d taken several exhaustion naps on the sofa between Renjun and Jeno; just the other morning as you’d been looking at a pregnancy book at the kitchen table, YangYang had sat down beside you and started asking you questions about it. Haechan swore that he’d be glad to help babysit in the future. You’d heard Chenle and Jaemin offering to take bets on the paternity of the baby.

“And I don’t know about being the dad,” Mark says, “I don’t think it matters too much to me one way of the other. I don’t mean that in a bad way! I feel like that sounded kinda bad, but like, if I am the dad then that’s awesome and I’m going to try my hardest to be the best dad I can be, but even if I’m not, I’ll still try my best to be here. But I guess it also depends how you want to raise the kid, like, fourteen dads? Or are those who aren’t the dad just going to be Uncles who occasionally share mommy’s bed?”

You wrinkle your nose at that. “That’s exactly what I mean, Mark. This relationship is going to change, and that’s scary. I don’t want this to change, I love how we all are together, but after this, then what?”

“Hey.” Mark cups your face between his hands. He tilts your face up toward his, and when he kisses you softly, almost chastely, for just that moment in time you forget your worries. “That’s a problem for when we get to it, but it’s miles and miles away in the future. You don’t need to worry about that now, okay?” He kisses you again, and this time the kiss isn’t so sweet or tender. 

Your midnight snack is entirely forgotten on the counter beside you. Mark envelops you--his smell and his taste, the heat of his skin against yours-- and you lift your hands to his arms, first touching his wrists up near your face, and then your fingertips dance down his forearms, resting for a moment against his elbows as Mark twists his fingers into your hair, tilting your head to a better angle as your mouth opens to his, and you gasp quietly. 

His tongue touches yours, springing another moan from you, and Mark smiles, his fingers tightening in your hair. 

It doesn’t take much more kissing than that to have you craving a midnight snack of a different sort. The hunger grows inside you, the heat building, and soon you can feel your shorts are damp with arousal and your fingertips itch to undress Mark, your body aching with the need to have him inside you.

“Mark,” you mumble, planning to ask him to fuck you, but your hands are already moving. Your hands drop from where you’ve been holding onto his arms, instead gripping the bottom hem of his shirt which you tug at until your fingertips find skin instead. 

Mark groans, feeling your cool skin against his. And when your fingertips move across his abdomen, quickly dipping inside the waistband of his sweatpants, Mark inhales sharply, breaking the kiss for a moment, just to ask, “Here?”

You nod. “Yeah, why not?”

That’s good enough for him.

Mark dives back into the kiss, making little noises of contentment as you push his sweatpants lower, as you dip your hand inside his boxers, wrapping your hand around his cock. It doesn’t take long for him to start chubbing up in your hand.

“Mm, baby,” Mark pulls out of the kiss, his hands shaking to detangle his fingers from your hair, and his hands fall to your hips instead. Mark lifts you carefully up to sit on the edge of the countertop you’ve been leaning against, and now you’re at the perfect height to spread your legs and pull his cock free of his boxers to rub at the already damp fabric over your pussy. 

You remember the time you almost did this with Kun in here. Things got hot and heavy with him, but the younger boys were just in the other room, so you moved things upstairs instead. But tonight there’s no one around. Everyone’s either out or upstairs in their rooms. There’s nothing to stop you from having sex with Mark right here in the kitchen with the lights on and everything.

Mark thumbs the middle of your shorts out of the way as you keep jerking him off, rubbing the tip against the material, which he’s tired of, craving the direct wet heat of you on him.

“Fuck, baby, why aren’t you wearing any panties?” He almost whines. His thumb glides along your slit, and you shift forward, wanting to have him just slip his thumb inside you, but he pulls it away, putting his hand back to the safe distance of your thigh. “That’s dirty. Looking so sexy already with your belly growing and your tits too, then no panties either. Shit, it’s like you knew this was going to happen.”

“Maybe I’ve just been hoping.” You lean in, capture his lips in a brief kiss, and then say, “You’ve all been so careful with me. I don’t get fucked nearly as much as before, and while this pregnancy has messed with my sex drive a bit, I do still want to have sex, I just think you all should know that.”

“So no panties because you’re horny, hoping to entice one of us into fucking you?” Mark grins crookedly, looking down at your pussy, which you finally bring his cock closer to, and you dip his tip against your clit, moving it in circles.

You smile and try to stifle a moan.

“Do you want it?” Mark asks you.

“Yes, Mark,” you sigh, and you guide his cock to where you need him most, and Mark lifts a hand to tilt your mouth up to meet his once more. 

Mark enters you smoothly, slowly, in one thrust. Your toes curl at the slow feeling, the stretch and glide, the way that you’ve barely had anyone touch you in weeks, since Jungwoo, probably. You don’t think you’ve been with another one of them since him, not having one of them inside you like this--just you helping them out with a blowjob maybe and then possibly a bit of fingering, but most of them were still treating you like some fragile porcelain doll--and that was probably a month and a half ago when you were with Jungwoo, the last time you’d had one of their dicks inside your vagina.

“Oh, fuck,” Mark groans. “I swear you’re tighter than normal.”

“Shh,” you shush him, laughing as you try to kiss him quiet. “It’s been a couple weeks since I’ve had more than a finger or two inside me.” 

Mark moans, deepening the kiss, silencing you as he thrusts slowly, each push of his cock deeper inside you feels incredible. 

You both take it slow, in no rush to get off right now, it’s just good enough to have him inside you, to kiss him, and Mark seems to feel the same. Kissing and hands slipping under clothes, just touching, hips rolling, everything slow and warm and you feel so wet, growing wetter with each glide of Mark’s cock inside your pussy, pants and moans rising in frequency. 

Your goal isn’t to cum, just to have Mark so close to you, but soon there’s no denying that you’re both getting close. It’s been too long since either of you had this kind of sexual release. Mark’s thrusts start to grow faster, sloppier, and he pants against your lips, “Can I cum inside you? What about---?”

“It’s fine, Mark.” You gasp, dropping your head back. “Please, I want to feel it.”

Happy to oblige you, Mark ducks his head to kiss at your neck. His hand sinks to the apex of your thighs, his thumb tracing quick, careful circles on your clit as he thrusts into you, chasing his quickly rising high. The sound of your breathy sighs and moans, soft whimpers of his name, all seem to drive him on, and you cum just moments before him.

“Mark, fuck!” You gasp. You clutch at his shoulders, holding yourself close to him as the sensation pulses through your body, dragging Mark into his orgasm as well. He bites down on the juncture of your neck and shoulder, muffling his moans as he spills inside you, his cum making you feel warm and full, and you don’t want to move from right here like this, just want to stay here with Mark inside you, close as he can be to you, his body pressed fully against yours, your baby bump against his belly.

You don’t want to move, and you probably wouldn’t have for quite some time, but suddenly there’s the tapping sound of someone jogging down the stairs. 

Mark pulls away from you, stuffing his cock back inside his sweatpants, and he reaches out to tug your shorts back into place. He even rearranges your hair so it falls over your shoulders, hiding the mark he’d just sucked on your throat. And then he steps away, leaning against the stove and pretending to study a box of cereal someone had left out.

WinWin walks into the room, his eyes puffy from sleep. He yawns as he looks between the two of you, walking across the room toward you to reach the sink. 

“Were you just messing around in here?” He asks, opening a cabinet door to pick out a glass. “Because that’s gross. We all eat in here.”

He looks away as he fills the glass with water. Mark’s eyes go faux-innocently wide, and he opens his mouth, prepared to give some excuse.

You cut him off. “You’re one to talk, Dong Sicheng. Are you forgetting the time I rode you right over there at the kitchen table? You weren’t so concerned about this being a place where we eat then. I’m pretty sure I remember you specifically pulling me into your lap and telling you that this is where we eat, so you wanted to eat me.”

WinWin coughs, almost choking on the water. Mark laughs loudly.

You smile at them both, and then push off the counter, landing on your feet, and you wrinkle your nose at the feeling as a bit of Mark’s cum begins to trickle down your thigh. WinWin reaches out to you, as if worried that the look on your face is due to some discomfort of the baby.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry.” You walk the few feet over to Mark, kiss him, and then you turn to WinWin, kiss him as well, and turn to walk away, calling back over your shoulder, “Good night!”

Their returned well-wishes of sweet dreams follow you upstairs as you crawl into Hendery’s bed. 

He stirs a bit when you slide in beside him. He fell asleep watching videos on his phone, and the phone’s laying facedown on his chest, the edge of it still outlined from the light of the screen, so you move it off, rolling back to the side of the small bed to plug his phone in before you re-situate yourself on your side, and Hendery moves up to spoon you from behind.

He murmurs your name sleepily and drapes his arm over you, nuzzling his nose against your neck before he falls immediately back to sleep. And you soak in the warmth of his bed, his body curled against yours, wishing you could fall asleep, but somehow you just can’t.

You stay awake, staring at the shadows in the room, praying for sleep to claim you as it’s claimed Hendery behind you, Xiaojun across the room. 

Nothing.

You hear footsteps climbing the stairs up to the floor above, hear the creak of movement, and then the closing of a door. A few moments later, the door to this room opens as well. The dim glow of a nightlight in the bathroom down the hall casts a streak across the room, right over you in Hendery’s bed.

“Sorry,” WinWin whispers as he comes inside, tiptoeing. “Did I wake you up?”

“I wasn’t sleeping. I can’t sleep.” 

WinWin sits on his bed, and in the darkness, you can just barely make out the shape of his shadow patting his bed. “You can come over here. I can help you fall asleep.”

You don’t see what he’s going to do to help with that, but you carefully extract yourself from Hendery, tiptoe across to WinWin’s bed, and slide in with him.

He props himself up against the headboard with a few pillows, and then you feel him draw you in, resting your head on his chest, leaned back against him. His cheek rests against your head, an arm casually curled around your waist, his hand touching your belly, and he whispers, “I think we just need to tire out that busy mind of yours. What is it that you’re thinking about? Tell me?”

So you start talking, telling WinWin in whispers all of these worries and wonders in your head. Concerns for the future, for the state of this relationship, how they’ll all react when the day comes that you do find out which of them is the father because you’ve long since accepted that you have to find that out, though you had briefly entertained the idea of just not doing any paternity test at all. You talk to WinWin until you’re certainly tired out, or at least your voice is.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize then. “You’re probably tired, aren’t you? But I just keep talking.”

WinWin mumbles something that never quite makes its way to words. Then, “It’s fine. You need to sleep too, though. Aren’t you tired yet?”

Not quite.

“Alright then.” WinWin sighs and shifts his head, his lips right beside your ear, and he starts singing to you quietly in Chinese. The song is familiar, but you can’t place it; it’s a relaxing tune, and WinWin’s deep voice works wonders, lulling you into such a state that you don’t even notice when exactly you fall asleep.

One moment you’re awake in his arms, and then you’re dreaming.

You’re walking down the hallway, passing by the door to Lucas, Ten, and Kun’s room, climbing the stairs, you walk along until you reach a door just beyond Taeil’s room. A faint golden light outlines the door which looks shiny and new, recently installed, and from behind the door you hear the cries of a baby.

Your heart leaps in your chest.

Just a touch of your fingertips, and the door opens on a nicely decorated nursery -- creamy white walls and gauzy curtains decorated in stars and moons, a crib is tucked in the corner under a gently spinning mobile, and that’s the source of the crying. 

The baby’s crying. Your baby. You walk closer, and making shushing noises as you approach, you look down into the crib and see your baby.

But it’s not only one baby. There are multiple babies, a whole row of them side-by-side, waving angry fists up at you. A baby wrapped in blue with Johnny’s face. Another that looks like Yuta. A little girl who has Hendery’s big brown eyes, one that looks exactly like Taeyong.

You blink.

There’s only one baby, cooing up at you happily with an undeniable resemblance to ---

You wake with a jolt. WinWin, still curled there together with you, strokes his fingers over the back of your hand, mumbling something in his sleep to comfort you. In the dark, you stare at his face in front of you, but all you can see are the faces of the little babies in your dream.

You shift closer, pressing your face against WinWin’s chest.

At work, you try to avoid talking about your pregnancy. Not an easy thing to do when many of your coworkers are women, including older women who just want to offer up advice based on their own pregnancies. And they’ve all got so many questions: how far along you are, who’s the father, are you still dating that guy who came to briefly visit you once so many months ago, are you learning the gender, and many more questions.

You can’t help thinking about that dream again and again.

Previously, you didn’t think you really wanted to know the sex of the baby until the birth. But after that dream, you can’t stop thinking about it. 

Sometimes you’ll find your mind wandering back to that dream or mulling over what you think you’re going to have. And after your coworkers repeatedly asking you who the father is, you keep thinking about that too, trying to run through your mind the encounters you’d had with your boyfriends around that exact time that this Little Blob was conceived. The younger boys are actually taking bets on which of your boyfriends is the father, whether it’s going to be a boy or girl, and all sorts of silly bets.

And it’s not only them; the last time you spoke to your mother she was making guesses on gender based on family history and invasive questions into your sex life, which she’d followed up with an inquiry about meeting the father-to-be that you’d edged out of by feigning an incoming call from your doctor.

But you know you can’t put it off forever. At some point your parents are going to want to meet the man who impregnated their daughter. You just have to choose one of the possible men to introduce to them. 

“I wouldn’t mind, I don’t think.” Xiaojun tells you late one morning.

The house is quiet. When you left Taeil’s room this morning as he woke to go to Inkigayo, you sat downstairs in the kitchen, drinking a morning glass of water and taking a handful of recommended prenatal vitamins, watching as half of the house cleared out, your boys going off to work. 

You were excited, getting to see them work in different combinations than normal. 

After they’d all left, piling into multiple vans, it’d just been you, Xiaojun, Jisung, Haechan, YangYang, and Taeyong left in the house. Haechan and Jisung were firmly shut inside their room, probably not likely to wake until at least the afternoon, and YangYang was similarly probably sleeping. Not that any of them would give you the company you wanted. 

Sure, you enjoyed hanging out with the younger members, playing games and watching movies, and teasing them endlessly. But you didn’t want to just be entertained, you didn’t want to just go back to sleep now that you were awake. 

You were horny.

You’d been dreaming nicely up until the moment that Taeil jerked awake at the sound of their manager’s voice calling from the doorway. It was a rude awakening, considering how just a second before you’d been in the midst of sucking off Doyoung while sitting on Jaehyun’s face, having the absolute time of your life. But the dream had faded in moments, leaving you with only the ache between your thighs, the heat that needed to be quenched. 

So now, with all of the others gone, you were left with three choices. One, you could just take care of it yourself, which is the least fun option. Your second option was Taeyong, but you knew he had only dragged himself home from the studio a couple hours ago because he’d climbed into bed with you and Taeil, snuffling and clingy, just wanting a cuddle. A third option was Xiaojun, an eager, always good option.

So you went to Xiaojun’s room.

He was awake on his phone, and the sight of you in his doorway brought a smile to his face. You stepping inside and closing the door behind you made him smile brighter and start to sit up in bed. And when you reached down and pulled the long shirt of Lucas’s you’d stolen to sleep in over your head, Xiaojun’s smile melted into liquid desire pooling in his eyes. 

“I’m horny, Dejun. Please help me.” You drop the shirt on the floor, and in seconds you’re on your back in Xiaojun’s bed, his mouth hot on your skin, lips on your breasts then your stomach, taking his time trailing slow kisses over your increasingly noticeable bump. And then he’s on your thighs, kissing, nipping, and when he licks at your pussy, your body glows with lust and pleasure.

Xiaojun performs oral sex right then like he’s going to be graded on it. Soon you’re shaking in his bed, thighs closing around his head, hips rocking against his face, and Xiaojun just keeps licking until you whine and whimper his name, knotting your fingers in his hair. He moves quickly up to kiss you.

You stay like that, kissing as the morning passes by outside, soft kisses that turn hot and passionate with your hand down the back of Xiaojun’s sweatpants as he grinds against your thigh, kisses getting softer as you spread your legs for him to fit between them and push his sweatpants down just enough that he can thrust into you. And it’s slow, soft and lazy sex in the haze of the golden rays of sunlight shifting across his sheets from the window above his bed. 

Xiaojun cums and uses his fingers to get you off, and then keeps kissing you even as he rolls off to the side, holding you there in his bed even though you both feel gross and sticky sweaty. 

The kissing tapers off eventually. He holds one of your hands, and your other hand absentmindedly goes down to your belly, and you start talking about the appointment you have in next week where you can finally find out the sex of the baby, and how your mother wants to come, and she wants you to bring your boyfriend.

“I’m serious,” Xiaojun says. “I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to introduce me as the representative for all of us. Your singular boyfriend, father of your baby.”

You look at him out of the corner of your eye.

Xiaojun smiles and hides half of his face in his pillow. “I think I’m probably not the dad, like, it’s just a feeling I have, but who’d be better to meet your parents than me? I’m nice, polite, handsome, funny, smart. Not to mention modest.”

You laugh and push at his shoulder, and Xiaojun dramatically rolls away and then stands up off the bed. 

He looks down at you, still smiling. “And also, I think one of us should be there with you at that appointment. I think one of us should always go with you, because you need the support, it’ll be nice, right?”

“I don’t know. I cried when I first heard the heartbeat.” You sit up and look down at your belly. “Pretty sure several of you would have teased me about that.”

“Pretty sure several of us would have cried right along side you. You played us that recording of the heartbeat.” Xiaojun shakes his head. “Maybe you weren’t paying attention, but there was quite a bit of excitement and emotion that day among all of us.” He reaches down and strokes his thumb along your cheek. “Just think about it. I’m gonna go eat, do you want some?”

You don’t, so you stay there wrapped only in Xiaojun’s sheets and mentally draft up a conversation to have with your boys.

You put it up to the boys to decide which of them would accompany you to your next appointment at eighteen weeks, and who will also be the one to meet your parents. 

“Whether you vote or play rock paper scissors or draw straws or something, I don’t care, as long as you’re all aware that it’s perfectly fair no matter who wins. I don’t want any of you feeling jealous, like I’m playing favorites or anything ridiculous like that.” You gave them this task right before you walked out the door to go grab dinner with some friends, hoping that by the time you arrived home later, they would have the answer.

Dinner was great. Since starting the relationship with the guys, you’d seen less and less of your friends just because it was a full-time kind of thing being with multiple boyfriends, plus it was difficult having this love life and not being able to openly talk about it with friends for various reasons such as being in a fifteen-person relationship was not at all common and also because your fourteen boyfriends were idols who could have their careers damaged if word of your relationship with any one of them got out.

Your friends were excited to see you and your not-so-little-anymore baby bump. They’d seen what you’d posted on social media -- the sonogram photo when you decided to finally post about the pregnancy, Snapchats and Instagram stories complaining about the woes of morning sickness and other symptoms -- and it was really great to catch up with your friends, and by the end of the night they were already telling you that they couldn’t wait for the baby shower.

“And we can’t wait to meet your baby daddy!” One of them cries, flinging her arm around your shoulder in a one-armed hug. “Like, you’re dating him right? You’re always so secretive with your love life; I can’t remember if you were dating someone, or was this just like a fling kind of thing?”

“Yeah, who is he? When can we meet him?” Another says.

You look around at your friends. “He’s just really private. But, yes, we’ve been dating for several months. But it’s also kind of complicated.”

“Complicated? Does he not want the baby?”

“Complicated and he’s private? What, is he an idol or something?” One laughs, and everyone bursts into laughter. You try to laugh along, but then you catch the eye of one of the girls and quickly look away. She’s been with you the time that you ran into Taeyong in public while you were broken up; you wonder if she’s thinking of him.

Another friend gasps, “Oh my god. Bitch, he better not be married!”

You try not to look like you’re caught in the spotlight, but you definitely are. “He’s not married!” Is the first answer you can think to give them. “And, no, it’s not that he doesn’t want the baby. He’s very excited, I mean, like, they’re excited.”

That raises several eyebrows. One of your friends nearly chokes on her drink.

“They? Like personal pronoun they or they, as in like, multiple people they?” One friends seeks clarification, and you take a deep breath and stare down into your water glass at the ice cubes clinking together before you give her the quiet confirmation of “multiple people.”

There’s giggles and teasing catcalls from around the table. You feel on fire, like you’re being roasted alive, and even gulping down the cold water doesn’t really help. There’s a fluttery feeling in your belly, so you lay a hand over it and just swallow down another mouthful of water, hoping to quell the nerves of having all of their attention on you after admitting this.

The friend beside you who’d been hugging you, squeezes your shoulders in what is probably meant to be a comforting motion. “So do you know which one of them is the dad?”

You shake your head. “No, but it doesn’t really matter. Like, they’re all excited and this relationship has been going on for a while. It’s serious, and I do love them, and it’s very unconventional, like super unconventional, but I’m happy.”

“That’s all that matters, isn’t it?” One of them says. “You’re happy and in love and having a baby! Damn, I wish I could be so blessed.”

After that the topic turns away from you and your love life for a bit, and you’re glad for that, but you’re also glad to have opened up just a tiny bit about the relationship. To have finally told someone that you’re in an unconventional relationship that includes more than two people, though you’re sure your friends think that it’s probably just you and two boyfriends, and you truly don’t feel like enlightening them any more. But it’s nice to have put it out there.

And when you do get home later, with a box of dessert that Ten had texted you begging you to bring home about halfway through your dinner, you find that half of the boys are still sitting around the table in the kitchen debating, but a handful of them are sitting in the living room.

Mark is sitting on the sofa with his laptop, Chenle leaning his head on Mark’s shoulder. Ten is in the armchair with Miso tucked in the nest of his legs. Hendery laying on the floor, his chin propped up on his hands, and Yuta’s sitting right beside him, watching a soccer match on the TV. Haechan, Jisung, and Jeno are also sitting on the second sofa, slouching down on the cushions, either on their phones or also watching the game.

You look around at them, before you glance toward the doorway into the kitchen.

“We lost,” Ten explains to you. “They’re still deciding.” He strokes Miso’s head, and then looks up at you, squinting in faux-anger, “You know, it was pretty rude of you to put us at odds with each other like that, and then you dip out to a fancy fun dinner with your friends. And did you even bring us anything tasty to eat?” 

You stick out your tongue at him and pull the box out from behind your back. 

“Do you think I don’t love you or something?”

When you hold it out to him, Ten eagerly reaches for it, but you pull it back quickly. 

“You have to share it, you know.”

Ten whines, but nods, and as you start to hand it over again, Kun sweeps in out of nowhere, and takes the cake, then brushes a kiss on your cheek. Chenle laughs loudly, watching all of this, especially when Ten snatches the back of Kun’s shirt and jerks him back, nearly tumbling him into Ten’s lap on top of your poor cat.

Miso bristles and flees Ten’s lap to the comparative safety of the stairs where he begins grooming himself and glaring at the ruckus below. 

You end up with Kun and Ten squeezed together in the chair, you perched on Kun’s lap with the box of dessert open in your lap, the three of you taking turns with a single fork. Your feet rest in Yuta’s lap on the floor, and after a bit, he leans over and rests his head against your knee, his actions sleepy but his eyes are wide awake following the moves of the players on the screen. 

You can’t seem to relax, nervously glancing toward the kitchen doorway every few minutes. And thinking about who it’s going to be, which of them is going to be the one to meet your parents, to come to your appointments with you, it makes you nervous. While you sit there you feel flutters in your belly multiple times, and that just makes you feel even more nervous.

When the other boys finally come out of the kitchen, Taeyong whines, seeing the nearly finished dessert in your lap, and he comes over to beg a bite.

“What did you decide?” You ask him as Taeyong takes the box from you and settles on the arm of the chair. “Which of you is it? Whose egos do I need to soothe?”

“Probably Jaehyun,” Taeyong mumbles around the cake. “He’s pouting.” He jerks his head toward the other side of the room, and you follow the move just to see Jaehyun standing behind the sofa where Mark and Chenle are sitting. Jaehyun’s got his arms folded across his chest, his jaw tense, his eyes deadset on the TV, though you can tell he’s not actually watching the game. 

Taeyong clears his throat and whispers, “Johnny won; we figured he’d be the best in these situations. He’ll charm your parents for sure, and he’ll be good at the appointment too.”

You catch Johnny’s eye as he comes around the sofa to sit down beside Chenle. He immediately starts tickling Chenle’s sides until he’s squirming and making loud squawking laughs while Johnny just laughs at him and calls him cute.

Eventually Yuta lifts his head from your knee to shush them, his eyes still glued to the screen as one of the teams makes a goal. You look over at Johnny again as he’s petting Chenle’s hair while the younger settles back down. And then you look up at Jaehyun. WinWin’s now standing beside him, his arm slung around Jaehyun’s shoulders, and they whisper to each other, but after a moment Jaehyun seems to feel you watching them, and he catches your eye with a sweet smile.

“How do I look?” Johnny asks, nervously tugging at the collar of his shirt. You’re about to leave for the appointment, and as you sit on Johnny’s bed watching him get ready, you fight down your own nerves. 

“Handsome. As usual.” You sigh, fluttering your hands over your belly. “What about me?”

You push up to your feet, standing right before Johnny. He smiles warmly, a hand sneaking around to the small of your back, and you step just a bit closer to him. 

“Sexy as always,” Johnny says with a grin. “Pretty and cute and beautiful too. If your mother looks anything like you, I can’t wait to meet her.”

Yes, the source of all your nerves. Johnny meeting your mother. Your mother coming to your appointment with you both. And then there’s the late lunch you’re having afterwards with Johnny, your mother, and your father. 

“Hey, don’t be so nervous, sweetheart.” Johnny cups your face in his hands. “I’m great with parents. By the time we come home later, they’re going to absolutely love me, we’re going to know if you’re having a girl or a boy, plus we have a little surprise the others should have ready for you by the time we’re home.”

Now, that makes you more suspicious than nervous.

Typically you don’t have a good history of your boyfriends trying to surprise you with things. Seven times out of ten the surprise ends up being an orgy, and the other three times out of ten are just a failure on their part. So as you and Johnny walk out of the house, you watch the others suspiciously, such as when Taeil kisses you on the cheek as you pass him on the stairs, when Renjun pipes up from the sofa to tell you that they’ll all be anxiously waiting to see who has won the first of their series of bets, and when Doyoung hurries up from behind you to give you a few words of luck and calming for the appointment and for introducing Johnny to your parents.

“Thank you, Doyoung.” You press up on your toes to meet him for a brief kiss. “See you later!”

As you turn to follow Johnny, Doyoung’s hand falls reluctantly from your arm, and you look back at him to offer him a reassuring smile because he’s pouting.

“Doyoung also really wanted to come with you today,” Johnny tells you a few minutes later. “Him and Jaehyun were really duking it out there toward the end of our debate. Both of them were pretty pissed when I was the one who was decided on.” 

You don’t know what to say to that. If it were possible, you would happily bring every single one of your boyfriends, but that is neither practical nor realistically something that your parents would ever possibly approve of. Your parents are not like your friends; your friends think it’s different and sexy that you’re in a relationship with more than one man, but your parents would think that something like that is disgusting and wrong and would certainly try to influence you to choose just one of them.

So you fall into this rabbit hole of thinking, and it’s not until Johnny puts his hand on your thigh, squeezing slightly as he says, “We’re here,” that you snap out of your thoughts.

You’re at the doctor’s office, and when you look up through the windshield of the car, you can see your mother standing beside the door into the office, somewhat awkwardly smiling at passersby, looking nervous as well.

“This will be wonderful, okay?” Johnny reassures you. “Are you ready?”

You nod, and then push the car door open.

The moment that your mother sees you, her face lights up, and then her eyes fall down to your belly, the definite mound of your belly, and she breaks into a smile so wide that you think she also might start crying.

“Oh, my baby!” She pulls you into a hug. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m good, Mom. Taking good care of myself and the baby, with some help of course.” You pull out of the hug and turn to Johnny. He’s standing a few feet back, not wanting to intrude on the moment with your mother, but when you hold out a hand to him, he steps forward. 

The second his fingers interlace with yours, you feel confident and happy, and you turn back to your mother. “Mom, this is Johnny. My boyfriend.”

She looks at him. Looks him up. Looks him down. You can tell she’s analyzing everything about him, filing away little details that you’re sure she’ll want to discuss with you later. 

And then Johnny holds his hand out to her. “Johnny Suh, ma’am. It’s great to finally meet you. I was just telling her this morning that --” You elbow him sharply in the side and glare at him, not wanting him to finish that sentence calling your mother hot. He laughs, and holds his hand out to your mother again. She shakes his hand, still watching him appraisingly.

“It’s nice to meet you too, finally. She’s always been secretive about relationships, but I think this is the longest we’ve ever had to wait to meet someone she’s dating.” Your mother glances at you. “Why’ve you kept this one a secret?”

“He’s too charming for his own good sometimes. Come on, let’s get inside.”

As you sit in the waiting room, nervously tapping your foot as you wait, you look around at the other women in the room. There are some whose bellies are huge, looking ready to pop at any moment. Some who aren’t showing at all. There’s one woman wrangling two toddlers along with her big pregnant belly, looking increasingly frustrated at the two children climbing over her and over and under the chairs. 

You don’t even notice that you’re shaking your leg so much until Johnny’s hand comes to rest on your knee. His voice is low, soft so no one else can hear it when he asks, “You okay?” 

“Fine. Just ready to find out.” You place your hand on his, and that’s when you notice your mother watching you very observantly. 

The three of you chat a little bit, and she tells you that your father is all ready to interrogate your boyfriend, especially since you’d given them no information about him. “She wouldn’t even tell us your name.”

“I can’t talk too much about us, you know. We’ve got to keep it a little bit of a secret.” You whisper to her. “Maybe you don’t recognize him, but he is an idol. Other people might recognize him, and we can’t let word get out.” 

Johnny’s wearing a mask and a hat now that you’re in the doctor’s office together, keeping his head down somewhat just on the off-chance that someone could recognize him. But now, with the way your mother is staring at him in surprise, you think it might draw some attention.

When you go to the restroom a few minutes later, leaving the two of them alone, you worry that you’ll come back to find things in a disastrous state, but to your surprise, after an extended bathroom break due to the number of others trying to use the single restroom available off the waiting room, you return to see them laughing and talking more comfortably with each other, and just a few minutes after that you’re called back to meet with your doctor.

Now, it’s not like the appointment jumps straight into finding out the gender of the baby, but that’s all the matters, all that you can focus on while you and your doctor talk, while she examines you, while your mother and Johnny sit nearby, but then it’s time and you’re on your back with your shirt pulled up over your belly and a technician spreading the cool gel over your belly.

You don’t remember reaching for Johnny’s hand, but suddenly you’re holding onto it while you look at the screen. Your mother’s leaning forward eagerly too, all three of you plus the doctor staring at the screen at the inside of your body, searching for your Little Blobby. 

“Ah, here we are.” The technician pauses for a moment, and you can hear the heartbeat inside you--not the one that belongs to you, but the second smaller one, the faster tiny one--and you can see it on the screen. 

“That’s the baby?” Johnny squeezes your hand and leans closer to see the screen more clearly. “That’s our baby?”

“It sure is.” The technician moves the device a bit more, trying to get a better view. “Is this daddy and grandma’s first time seeing the baby?”

“It is!” Your mother says excitedly. Her hand briefly touches your leg as she shifts closer to see as well. “It’s just too exciting to learn the baby’s gender, don’t you think? How could we miss the appointment for this?”

She’s right, you realize. It’s very important for the father of the baby to be there when you find out the baby’s sex. And as much as you love Johnny, you look back up at him right then, and you realize that he very well may not be the father of this baby. There are thirteen other men who it could be, and it’s not fair to rob them of this experience.

“Wait,” you say. The technician stops, and when she looks at you, you clear your throat. “I don’t think I want to know today. If you can just, like, write it down and put it in an envelope?

“Honey, what?” Your mother picks up your hand from where Johnny’s just dropped it. “You don’t want to know today?”

You shake your head. One look at Johnny shows you that he’s a little bit hurt, but that he understands the thought process behind this decision. He wanted to be the special one here with you for this momentous step in your pregnancy. But worse than Johnny is your mother. She wants to be here for this. 

“We can have a reveal party, Mom. I thought I wanted to know today, but I just think it’ll be more exciting to be surrounded by family and friends, you know?” Well, by that you mostly mean with all of the potential fathers there as well.  “So, can you do that?” 

The technician happily agrees. “Of course, once I verify the sex of the baby, I’ll be glad to do that for you! Your little one isn’t exactly in the right position for this, but let me try to move around, see if I can get a better angle.”

Your mother sits back in her seat, folding her arms across her chest, seeming very disappointed, but Johnny stands right at your side and puts his hand on your shoulder. You meet his gaze, and Johnny smiles.

“What are you hoping for?” You whisper. “When you’ve thought before about having kids, what were you deep down hoping to have?”

“Honestly?” Johnny turns his attention back to the screen, though at the moment there’s truly not much to see. “Growing up, I was an only child, you know. I always wanted a little brother, and then when I moved here I found my little brothers. Mark and Haechan, Chenle, Jisung, the other kids. And I realized that boys are such a mess, such a chaotic hassle, but that’s easy for me to understand and handle.” Johnny’s voice dips lower as he says, “A boy. I hope you’re having a boy.”

Later that day as you and Johnny return home with a sealed envelope tucked safely in your purse, still filled with happiness from the success of the long lunch with your mother and father (who in the end both loved Johnny entirely and were very charmed by him), you just want to tear open the envelope and share the news with all of the boys inside. It’s been hours since the appointment, Johnny had kept up conversation with your parents, and then he’d insisted on stopping to grab some stuff from the store on the way home. 

By the time you walk through the door of the house, you’re buzzing with nervous excitement. You want to tear open that envelope to find out the sex of the baby, dive into the bags of candy you’d begged Johnny to buy for you, and be with the men you love. But as soon as you’ve stepped out of your shoes and tucked them away in the entryway of the house, Johnny reminds you that the boys all have a surprise for you.

“We’re back!” He calls, taking you by the hand and leading you into the living room.

You leave the grocery bags sitting beside the sofa. The house is suspiciously quiet and still. You frown.

A voice calls down from somewhere high above. “Just a moment!”

“Johnny... What is the surprise? You know usually, it’s...”

“It’s not a sex thing, don’t worry.” Johnny places a soothing hand on your head. “A good surprise.”

“You can come up!” Another voice calls down, and Johnny leads you by the hand up the stairs. By the time you reach the top floor, you can hear that all of the boys are up here, not just your boyfriends but the younger boys too. And once you’ve climbed the last step, you can see them all gathered around in the hallway.

“Okay, seriously, what’s going on?”

“We have a surprise for you.” Taeil says, stepping out of his room and joining the others right in front of him. “Come here.”

Johnny lets go of your hand, and you walk forward slowly. You know that there’s no need to be suspicious of your boyfriends or the others, yet you can’t help it with them all being so mysterious. 

“We all worked really hard today,” Jaehyun explains to you. “We honestly weren’t sure that we’d have it ready by the time you got home, so we had Johnny distract you a bit longer.” You frown back over your shoulder at Johnny, but he’s smiling down at Ten who’s whispering something to him. Jaehyun continues, “But we did finish. And it’s for you.”

He steps forward and lays his hand on the door to Taeil’s room.

“What did you do?” You look around at all of them assembled around you. 

Tired of waiting, Yuta steps forward and pushes the door open. It’s not what you expected.

In place of the usual massive bed that occupied the space just earlier that morning is a more normal-sized bed. And, on top of that, it’s pretty, prettier than any boys room. 

You take a step inside and look around a bit more. The walls have been repainted--three of the walls in cream, one in a dark shade of green. The room’s been redecorated entirely, and then as you turn and take a look in the corner of the room you see a crib and an armchair, a dresser with a stuffed polar bear toy that you recognize from Doyoung’s bed sitting on top of it. 

“What is this?” You ask, then to Taeil, “Where will you sleep?”

“I moved down the hall.” Taeil grins. “We just thought that you need a space. For just you, for the baby.”

“You guys...”

You don’t know the exact moment when you start crying, but then you’re just suddenly in tears, bawling into the shoulder of whichever boy sweeps you first into a hug. They wrap around you, trying to comfort you, but you don’t exactly need comfort, you just need to outpour all of these emotions. 

“It’s lovely, thank you all.” You eventually manage to get the waterworks under control, and as you wipe at your tears, you lift your head, catch sight of the crib again, and you remember. “Oh, I forgot! Johnny and I, at the appointment, I decided I didn’t want to find out right away, not then. I felt like you should all be there when I find out. My mother wasn’t too thrilled with that, but we can have, like, a gender reveal party, with my parents, some friends.”

“A party? Here?” Doyoung asks, ruffling his hand through his hair. “When? It’s almost Christmas.”

“Next weekend? Do you think that’s too soon?” You look around at all of them. Ten and Taeyong glance at each other, looking doubtful. “It is too soon, isn’t it. What about the following weekend? The, what would that be, the thirteenth?” 

There’s murmurs around the room, the boys talking over their schedules, and after a few moments the general agreement is that they do have that day, for the most part, free for a party. 

“I’m hungry.” You groan, sinking down onto the edge of Kun’s bed.

He looks up from his phone, frowning in confusion. “Why did you come in here instead of just going to the kitchen?”

“Because I don’t want to go all the way downstairs.” You shift, trying to get more comfortable, but that’s easier said than done. 

“Oh, I get it.” Kun laughs. “You want me to go down there, make you something, and bring it back up here for you to enjoy?” 

“I wouldn’t say no to that.” You finally lay down on your back, pillowing your head on Kun’s arm. “But, mostly I came in here because I know you have snacks. And snacks, plus cuddling in your bed is always going to be much, much better than walking downstairs to the kitchen.”

Kun rolls his eyes playfully and sits up, moving around you and bending over the edge of his bed to get at his snacks. You shift around, getting comfy, and tell him “I’ve been craving something salty. This baby just wants salty food.”

“Well, this baby convinced you to come to the right place.” Kun sits up again, dropping a bag of perfectly salty snacks into your lap. He settles back into place beside you, and after a few moments filled only with the sound of you crunching on your snacks, Kun asks, “Do you really not know what the baby is? Boy or girl?”

You shrug. “We really didn’t find out at the appointment, if that’s what you mean.”

“No, I believe you. But what do you think it is? Or what are you hoping for?” Kun steals his hand into the bag in your lap. 

You shrug, stuff your mouth full so you can buy yourself some time to think.  

“I don’t think I really know. I had a dream a while ago, though, with a baby boy. But I think a girl would be good too. Little girls always have such cute clothes, and I know more about girls than boys. ”

“That’s what we’re here for, though. Me and the guys.” Kun puts a hand on your belly. “I want the baby to be a girl. I think raising a daughter, getting to spoil her, treat her like a little princess, that would be great.”

You snort. “No matter if this baby’s a boy or a girl, I’m sure it’ll be spoiled rotten by all of you. Chenle’s already bought a few things, he told me, and then I’ll never want for babysitters, with all of you around. But I don’t think I’ll be disappointed either way, boy or girl.”

“And what about names? Have you seriously thought about that yet?” Kun asks, once again dipping his hand into the bag, stealing away a handful of the snack. And because he’s Kun and avidly listening to you as you both relax and snack in his bed, you tell him all of the names you’ve been considering, he makes suggestions, you both fall off in a tangent about naming your child after characters from movies or dramas or books.

You’re still talking about it when Jaehyun peeks his head through the door. “There you are.” 

“Here I am.” You sit up a little in Kun’s arms. “Were you looking for me?” 

Jaehyun glances around the room before his narrowing eyes fall to Kun’s hand on your belly. “Yeah. I mean, no, not really. I was just... missing you. I didn’t need anything.” His hand flexes around the edge of the door.

“We were just talking about baby names,” Kun says. “And talking about what she wants the baby to be. Boy or girl.”

Jaehyun steps inside the room then, closing the door back behind him as he comes over to sit on the floor beside the bed. “Definitely a boy. An athlete.”

“You just want a mini-you.” You reach into the bag (which has drastically lost most of its contents since Kun first gave it to you) and toss a few pieces in Jaehyun’s direction. 

“No, I just want a sweet baby with you.” Jaehyun tosses it right back at you, then lunges up to kiss you briefly. You twist your fingers in the front of his shirt, holding on even as he backs away. “Yeah, I hope you’re having a boy, but I bet you’re hoping for a girl, aren’t you? Taeyong told me he’s hoping for a girl because he’s already watched a boy be raised with his nephew, and he just thinks a girl will be easier.”

He’s probably not wrong. You often hear about the hijinks and mischief of little boys, and you imagine any son of yours, raised in a house like this, would definitely be chaotic, an uncontrollable whirlwind. Though, you’re sure that due to the influence of all of these men, a daughter might turn out equally as mischievous.

Kun and Jaehyun begin playfully bickering back and forth about names, and you zone out a bit, only snapping back to reality when Jaehyun puts a gentle hand on your knee. 

“Sorry, I’m feeling tired.” You shake your head, and move, trying to push yourself to sit up. “I should get to bed. Growing a baby is tiring, and I have to work tomorrow.”

Kun reluctantly watches you leave his bed, but you kiss him before you go. Jaehyun walks with you upstairs to your door, and he leans against the doorway as you go inside, his hand quickly snatching yours to keep you there a moment longer. 

“Goodnight.” He smiles, a loose, easy, happy expression. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You drape your arms over his shoulders, your hands tangle behind his neck, and you lean up to kiss him. Jaehyun smiles into the kiss, pushing it to be more than just a goodnight kiss, which you entertain for a moment longer. But you truly just want to sleep tonight, so you slide your arms from his shoulders, pressing your palm against his chest as you pull away.

“No,” Jaehyun moans greedily, giving you one, two, three more little kisses.

You bite your bottom lip and hold his gaze. Jaehyun’s warm eyes soak through you, heating you with a gentle radiant glow. Your stomach flutters, like the giddy butterflies you’d felt early on in this relationship.

“Goodnight, Jaehyun.” You pat his chest over his heart. “Love you, and I’ll see you in the morning.”

Jaehyun’s hand clings to yours, only slowly letting up his hold so your hand can slip out of his.  

“Go to bed,” you whisper at last, stepping inside and beginning to draw the door shut. “Go to sleep and dream about the baby. About me.”

Jaehyun laughs, steps close just one last time to kiss you, and then, as he pulls away, he murmurs, “You know I always dream about you.”

It doesn’t feel practical to be having a threesome when you’re twenty weeks pregnant, with a big round belly, yet that’s exactly what you find yourself doing.

Jungwoo and Hendery are goofing around together while the three of you are shopping together. Laughing, pushing each other, being loud enough that they draw attention to the three of you, but the weather’s recently turned very cold as the winter season truly takes hold in these days leading up to Christmas, so they’re covered up with hats and scarves, and Hendery’s wearing a mask as well as glasses. You find it unlikely that anyone could recognize them, but you continuously try to calm them down just in case.

You’re shopping for a few things to decorate your nursery, for some last minute Christmas presents,  and originally you’d intended to come alone or to ask your mother or some of your friends if they wanted to come along, but at the last minute, Jungwoo volunteered and Hendery said he also had a need to go shopping.

You’d done Hendery’s shopping first, which had perhaps been a mistake as he was now weighed down with his own bags of new clothes. The emptying of his wallet had been encouraged by Jungwoo who was in a very bright mood, and suggest that Hendery buy everything he tried on, from a large fuzzy Nike jacket to a beanie that had cat ears, and even an umbrella that Hendery commented was pretty as the three of you passed by the store selling it. And now that he had all of these things, Hendery was distracted, and neither of them were helping you find the store you were looking for while you walked.

“Jungwoo!” You whine, clutching his arm and clinging to him when you have to turn around because the two of them stopped to play-fight right in the middle of this shopping mall.

An older man sitting on a bench a few feet away watches them somewhat fearfully, but a small group of young girls who are clustered together in front of a makeup store are hiding their giggles behind their hands.

“Sorry,” Jungwoo laughs. “Hendery’s just so cute, I can’t help but play with him today.” He reaches over as if to pinch Hendery’s cheek, and that just starts them off again.

“Ya!” You cry out, slapping at whichever of them is nearest you. “Focus!”

This time it’s Hendery’s turn to apologize. “Sorry, sorry.” He dramatically moves about six feet away from Jungwoo, well out of arm’s reach. “I promise to be good for the rest of this shopping trip.”

“Please. I just want to finish up and then go home.” You curl a hand over your belly as you feel something like bubbles, almost like you’re feeling gassy. And you know the sooner you get home the better if that’s the case. You refuse to use a public restroom just because you truly can’t be sure of how clean it is, and the risk of infections freaks you out, especially now that you’re pregnant and have another being's health to worry about.

“Are you okay?” Jungwoo asks, stepping closer, the light mood gone in an instant, replaced with concern as he notices you touching your belly. 

“I’m fine, let’s just go so we can head home.”

After that, they’re both still somewhat goofy, but they stop messing around so much. Even as you’re in the baby store so you can find some cute decorations, Hendery sticks close to you, smiling awkwardly when another pregnant customer starts chatting with you about some things he’d rather not hear about.

But at some point in the chat she asks you, “How far along are you?”

“Twenty weeks.” You place your hand on your bump. “It’s crazy when I think about it, like, it doesn’t feel like it’s been that long since I found out.”

She smiles. “Yes, but you should definitely enjoy it while you can. I remember my first one. Experiencing everything for the first time. Feeling my son kick for the first time was the strangest but most wonderful experience. Have you felt your little one yet?”

“Oh, I’m not really sure.” You look down at your belly while Hendery and Jungwoo whisper to each other a few feet away, looking at a selection of baby shoes. “I definitely haven’t felt like a kick.”

The woman laughs. “I don’t expect you would at only twenty weeks. The baby’s probably still too small for you to feel a big kick yet. For me it felt like butterflies in my tummy at first. Just little movements, kind of like gas sometimes, honestly.”

“Really?” You rub your hand over your round belly, thinking back to that feeling just earlier, thinking back further a few weeks, feeling random bouts of what you’d thought were nervous flutters. But maybe they were more. “Then I think I have.”

Almost as if it knows you’re talking about it, you feel it again. That little ripple of movement inside you that could almost be mistaken as something else. You look up at the woman in front of you, probably wide-eyed with surprise, and a smile breaks across your lips. 

“Did you feel it?” She asks, her own smile rising to her lips.

“Yeah.” Quickly, you turn to your boyfriends. “Guys, I felt the baby move!”

They both reach for you at the same time, hands on your belly. The woman laughs, “They probably won’t be able to feel it yet. But soon. My husband first felt our son kicking through my belly when I was about twenty-five, twenty-six weeks.”

You hurry to finish up in the store, but you can’t stop touching your belly, can’t stop trying to feel the baby moving. By the time you’re back at the house, you can think of nothing else.

You take your purchases up to your room, and Jungwoo follows you.

“What does it feel like?” He asks, trying to put his hands on your belly again as soon as you’ve laid the bags down in the corner by the crib. 

“Just a little flutter.” You tell him, moving to lay down on your bed. You pull your shirt up, exposing your belly to the room. Jungwoo comes closer, sitting on the edge of the bed. There’s a soft knock on the door, and then it cracks open, Hendery comes inside, his eyes eagerly falling on your belly. “I agree with that woman earlier. You probably won’t be able to feel it yet. When I feel it, it’s not that strong yet.” You move your hand over your belly, thinking, this is so weird.

You knew that there was a baby inside you. Obviously. You’ve dealt with the morning sickness and the sore tits and everything else. You’ve watched and felt your body changing to accommodate this new life. You’ve heard the heartbeat and seen the sonogram.

But now you’d felt that life moving within you. And that was the realist thing yet.

“That’s amazing.” Jungwoo caresses your belly, leaning in to drop a kiss right below your belly button. “Do you remember what I told you that night, when we were in the living room after our date?”

“Hmm?” You sink back fully into the pillows and glance over at Hendery as he comes closer. 

“About finding you pregnant very, very sexy.” Jungwoo kisses your belly again. “Your belly, your boobs. This glow.” His hands slide along your thighs and you shiver. He turns his head to the side, looking up at Hendery then back at you as he says, “I just want to make you feel good, princess. You’re doing so much, you deserve to feel good.”

“I do, don’t I?” You smile, lifting your hips a bit to encourage him.

Another kiss to your belly. His fingers at the waistband of your pants. 

“What about me?” Hendery asks. “I want in, but I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t hurt her.” Jungwoo tugs your pants down from your hips, bringing your panties down too. “She’s not made of glass, and it’s not like she’s been abstinent since the baby was made. The baby’s going to be fine, she’ll be fine. Want me to show you how, Hendery?”

Hendery makes a face. “I know how to--”

“Then kiss her or something.” Jungwoo watches hungrily as you sit up just enough to pull your top over your head, then you reach back and unfasten your bra, and once that’s fallen away, you’re bare in front of the two of them.

“Your boobs.” Hendery groans lustfully. 

You feel Jungwoo’s lips hot on your belly, moving higher to the top of your bump. His hips drop against your leg, and you feel his erection, and when you reach for Hendery, wanting to drag him into a kiss, your fingers brush against the front of his pants, and he makes such a desperate sound, pushing his hips forward into your touch. 

Jungwoo nuzzles against your breasts, breath tickling along your skin. 

Hendery pulls his shirt over his head, sinking down to the bed with you, and his lips connect with yours in a messy, uncoordinated kiss as you plunge your hand down the front of his pants to touch him.

Hendery’s always easy like this, so easy to work up, to touch him and get him going quickly. 

You moan when Jungwoo touches you, slicking a finger between your folds, teasing. Hendery hurries to wiggle out of his pants, and his hand takes over from yours as he kneels up on the edge of the bed as soon as he’s free of the pants. Jungwoo flicks his tongue over one of your nipples and then sits up, kneeling back between your legs and looking at Hendery, then at you, then back at Hendery.

“Wanna suck you, Hendery,” you mumble, stroking down his thigh. His hand squeezes around his cock. “Please, you know I’ve missed your dick, the taste of you.”

“Fuck, princess, you’re wet.” Jungwoo enters you with two fingers, the glide easy because you truly are so wet right now. “Give it to her, Hendery. She’s clearly drooling for it.”

Hendery shifts forward on the bed, and you open your mouth for him. His eyes all but roll back in his head with pleasure as he sinks his dick between your lips. And while you’re distracted in getting Hendery’s dick wet, Jungwoo’s fat tip presses against your pussy, and with just a push, you stretch open around him, taking him in just as well as Hendery.

It feels so good to have them both inside you. It’s been months since you last got double-teamed; the boys are scared enough when having sex with you one-on-one, but doing it like this, the closest you’ve had to this was when rolling around with Xiaojun he’d given you his fingertips to suck on while he was inside you. 

“Oh, god.” Hendery moans.

You wrap your hand around him, and bobbing your head on him, focusing on just the tip, it’s easy to get him close. Hendery’s been without any action except for himself for so long, since at least a couple weeks before you realized you were pregnant. 

You drag his cock between your lips, push down once on him, taking him deep. You hungrily lick and suck, working your very best to get Hendery off while Jungwoo thrusts into you. 

Hendery’s cock falls from your lips, and his breath comes out raggedly as his hand jerks over his length, carrying him to his orgasm. You feel it splash warm across your chest and your chin, striped across your breasts. You moan, stretching up to wrap your lips around his tip again, licking, lightly sucking, and you snake a hand down your body to touch yourself, fingers on your clit as Jungwoo pulls out, running his hand over himself.

And when you feel his cock rub against your belly, you get what he’s doing. His kink for your pregnant body doesn’t end with just fucking you, he wants to cum on you, mark up your pregnant belly with his semen. 

“Jungwoo, Jungwoo, please!” You pant, sliding your own fingers inside yourself, trying to reach your orgasm. “Wanna cum!”

“Ah, baby.” Hendery pets your hair. “Want me to help you?”

You nod, already grabbing his hand, bringing it down your body, but his hand slows as it passes your belly, and before he can even touch you, Jungwoo swats his hand away. 

Jungwoo fucks back into you, his hands touching your belly, driving into you again and again. 

The orgasm shudders through you, powerful and good, and Jungwoo pulls out a second later, and his cum stripes across your swollen belly. Carefully, so as to avoid landing on you, Jungwoo drops off to your side and pushes his face into your pillow with a satisfied sigh.

Hendery disappears into the ensuite bathroom, emerging a few moments later with a damp cloth which he uses to wipe the drying cum from your chest, chin, and belly. He gently wipes between your legs, and then runs it once more over your belly. 

“That was the first time I’ve had sex in this bed.” You sigh, wiping your hand across your forehead, brushing away some hair. “Thanks.”

Hendery laughs. “Oh, anytime.” 

It feels very strange having your parents there in the house along with all of your boyfriends and the younger boys. If your parents think this is an odd location for your sex reveal party, they don’t comment on it. They don’t ask you why Johnny’s parents aren’t there. They certainly don’t ask why all of the older boys are eagerly introducing themselves to your parents, or question why your mother walks in on you holding Kun’s hand in the kitchen. 

If your parents find any or all of this strange, they don’t say a word, and for that you’re very grateful.

Because the day has finally come to learn the sex of your baby.

It’s been two weeks since the appointment, and Johnny has sworn up and down that he hasn’t looked at the envelope. He hid it away where no one would find it, so no one else would be tempted to open it until the party.

As you’d begun setting things up for the party the day before, cleaning the house, organizing, you’d entrusted one of the boys’ managers with picking up a gender reveal cake for you. She’d been supportive of your pregnancy since the boys had told their managers about it, so you trusted her to do it well.

And then there’s your friends. Your close group of friends who already had suspected your baby daddy to be an idol after that last dinner. It had started out as a joke, obviously, but as you wanted to invite them to the party, and after talking with the boys, you’d texted your group chat with your friends and told them that the father actually is an idol, you can’t say who, just that he is.

So naturally, after telling them and inviting them to the party, they were all asking you all over again who the father was, and you refused to tell them, just made them promise that if they came to the party, they wouldn’t talk about it. You didn’t want to ruin any careers over this pregnancy. And you trusted them a lot.

Having all of them here--you parents, your friends, your hoard of boyfriends, and the other members--was very odd.

Especially when you overheard Mark and Ten and YangYang giggling together about you inviting your parents to a sex party. “Sex reveal party! A reveal! Not a sex party.” You’d cried out in exasperation. 

 As everyone showed up to the party, they were dressed in either pink or blue, depending on whether they thought you were having a boy or a girl. It was interesting to finally see what each of your boyfriends thought as they emerged from their rooms wearing either color. 

“I just don’t own anything pink,” Taeyong tells you, tugging at the strings of his blue hoodie. “But I think it’s a girl.”

Your friends arrive in their various shades, the majority of them wearing blue. As soon as their eyes land on Mark, you hear gasps. 

“What the fuck, I knew it!” The friend that had been with you when you ran into Taeyong during your break wraps her arm through yours. 

“NCT?” Another of your friends cries, pulling you even closer into the midst of them. “The father of your baby is a member of NCT? How the fuck did you manage that? Why have you kept this a secret for so long?”

The hungry eyes and titters among a few of the girls is reason enough, you think. There’s a jealous flare in your belly as one of them tries to catch Lucas’s eye as he passes by wearing a gaudy pink sweater.

“It wasn’t easy, I promise you. Just, don’t flirt with them, okay?” You try to slip away, wanting to go hide in the balloon bouquet of blue, purple, and pink that someone had placed in the corner by the stairs. 

“What? You want to keep them all for yourself? Babe, that’s just not practical.” One of your friends laughs, and the others laugh too. You feel warm now because that’s exactly what you want; all of them for yourself. It might not be practical, but it is reality. “So which one of them is it? Which one are you dating?”

You praise the universe in the next moment when your mother comes over, all smiles and her second mimosa in her hand. “That Doyoung is so polite. Girls! You’ve made it! Goodness, when was the last time I saw you?” She pulls your friends into hugs, and in that time, you escape.

You sit down beside Jisung (in blue) and Ten (in pink) at the kitchen table where they’re picking through the snacks, nibbling and now watching your friends warily.

“How much do they know again?” Ten asks you.

You reach for his glass of water, gulping it down to calm yourself. “They know that one of you is the father, I haven’t given them any name or anything. I did, however, make them promise not to talk about being here today. God, I’m nervous.”

Ten covers your hand with his, squeezing gently, and says, “Don’t be” at the same time as Jisung asks, “About what you’re having or your friends finding out that you don’t even know who the dad is?”

You just groan and drop your face into your arms. Ten laughs but puts a soothing hand on your back. “It’s okay. You know it’ll be fine.”

Your nerves just continue to increase as you notice your father trying to chat with Johnny (in blue) even as Mark (also in blue) keeps trying to get your father to talk with him, and your mother is simply being charmed by Kun (wearing both pink and blue, unable to decide) and Jaemin (wearing an unhelpful shade of pale purple that could almost be pink) and Taeyong. And then there’s your friends, dispersing among the boys, sometimes huddling together in pairs to whisper, sometimes they’re all over the place-- one talking to Lucas, while another blushes as she asks Taeil to hand her a napkin to wipe up the drink she spilled, while another stands beside Ten and Yuta to admire Ten’s tattoos.

“Relax.” Jaehyun comes up behind you, startling you. His hands settle on your shoulders. “You’re so tense, I feel like you need some cake. Then for this party to end, then maybe a nap or at least a footrub, right? Nice bubblebath?” His hands massage your shoulders, thumbs digging in wonderfully to the tense muscles. 

You drop your head back with a groan. “That sounds great.”

“I’ll go get the cake,” he whispers. His lips just barely brush against your cheek in a kiss, and then he’s gone, disappearing into the kitchen to fetch the cake from where their manager left it chilling in the fridge. 

“Everyone!” You call, but your voice shakes and gets lost in the din of other voices. Doyoung notices you though, so he shouts instead, “Everyone!”

The attention in the room shifts to Doyoung beside you until he waves at you, passing all of the attention right onto you. Nervously you rest your hands on your belly. 

“We’re going to cut the cake now.” You move over toward a small table that had been moved into the living room, in front of a wall of blue and pink streamers and balloons and golden string lights that Ten and WinWin had hung up earlier that morning. 

Jaehyun emerges from the kitchen, carrying the cake in front of him. Renjun’s right behind him with a knife and a stack of plates.

As soon as Jaehyun sets the cake down and Renjun’s handed you the knife, you stand alone up there. 

You’d decided it was best if you stood up there alone. Yes, as far as your parents are aware Johnny’s the father, but you don’t really want your friends to think that because it’s simply not a certainty. So all of the boys stand back, and you clear your throat. 

If your parents and friends can feel the pure excitement and anticipation radiating off of most of the young men in the room, they don’t seem to think twice about it. But every eye is on you as you lift up the knife Renjun handed you, as you make your first slice into the cake. An excited ripple moves through the room as you make the second cut. And then you slip the knife under the slice and carefully bring the slice out of the cake, revealing the color inside.

Cheers around the room.

Pink! Pink! The cake is pink!

You throw yourself into the arms of the first boy who approaches you. Jungwoo, Johnny, Lucas, Jaehyun, Kun, they all pile in.

“Careful! Careful!” You hear your mother crying. “Be careful with her!”

The boys all back away, giving you just enough space, and Johnny’s hands fall to your round belly. Doyoung touches the back of your head, his fingers wandering down through your hair, settling on the back of your neck. WinWin stands right beside you, nearly bouncing in his excitement.

Your mother rushes forward and your friends, all gathering around you to touch your belly. Already your mother’s suggesting names to you. One of your friends, who’s already had a daughter, is offering you hand-me-downs. With everyone around you like this, the heat of everybody surrounding you, your head begins to buzz, and you look around, searching for anything to steady you.

“Cake? Who wants cake?” Mark asks, and you turn to see him right beside you, a slice of cake on a plate in his hand. He starts slicing and handing them out, getting people to move away from you, offering you more space to breathe. 

You sit down at an empty spot on the sofa. Johnny sits down beside you, grinning, handing a delightfully pink slice of cake to you. He bumps his shoulder against yours. 

“A girl. A baby girl. What do you think about that?” He asks.

You put a gentle hand on your belly, feeling the baby--your baby girl--stir inside you. Lately you’re more in-tune to those movements. You can tell the difference between butterflies and gassiness and her moving inside you. 

“Eat up, baby. Let this little girl taste her celebratory cake.” Johnny taps the plate, and then stands up, clearing the space beside you for your closest friend to slip into. Johnny goes over to Jaehyun and Hendery, throwing his arms over their shoulders, all three of them cheering. 

“Congratulations!” She folds one leg over the other. “A sweet baby girl. And with a daddy like this, she’ll have life made.” She grins and looks around the room, scanning over all of the boys, your other friends, your parents. “But really, which one of them is it? I’ve been watching you, trying to figure it out, but I can’t tell. You seem really close with all of them.”

You push a forkful of cake between your lips. “I am close with all of them.”

“Right, but which of them got you pregnant?” And then her voice drops lower. “And at dinner you said they, so like, is that they two of them that you’re with, or one of them with someone else?”

“I can’t tell you that.” You reply, keeping your voice low so no one else hears. “I can’t risk it getting out.”

She smiles again, amused and victorious even though you didn’t really tell her anything. “I’ll take that as you’re having sex with two of them. You don’t have to tell me, but I just hope that you’re happy with them.” 

“I really am. Happy.” You lean back, stroking your bump. “They make me so happy, how could they not when because of them I have this to look forward to.” You feel like you’re probably smiling like a fool, looking down at your belly, unable to block out the daydreams that pour through your mind. A life with your daughter. You feel that little now-familiar flutter. “I’m having a girl. A daughter.”

You look up from your belly, catching Yuta’s eye from across the room. He winks at you, and you can’t help the giddy feeling that rises up in you, so you just laugh, sinking back in your seat, feeling more relaxed, lighter, happier.

Good Thing <- Previous || Next -> gimme that: a drabble

a/n: oof this was a long one, now I hope y’all see why I split the last one and this one into two parts instead of keeping it as one long one. I’m not really sure when the next part is going to be posted, but I do have a drabble to post probably a week from now. I hope you enjoyed this part, like that resolution to Mark proposing, I really enjoyed seeing everyone’s reactions to that ending of Good Things. Please let me know what you thought, as usual, reblogs, comments, likes are super appreciated! 

[chrisdrawings]

AA Superhero AU: Mia Fey

Masterpost

After Phoenix, Maya, and Edgeworth’s profiles, it’s time for the amazing defense attorney.

Unfortunately she doesn’t change really much from canon, so there’s not much to say. But the differences are important.

(Her design didn’t change much, so I didn’t color it. She also doesn’t have a superhero identity)

Name: Mia Fey

Superhero name: Doesn’t have one :(

Superpower: She can see how a person died by touching them, skin to skin (creepy, I know, but the Feys are all like this). She sees the death from the person’s point of view.

Type of power: Passive-hidden

Backstory and more headcanons under the cut: 

Backstory: She always hated her power, because she always found it terrifying and it’s not even seen as useful. She can’t prove that her visions are real, so even if people believe her, they can’t do much about it. This was upsetting, to her, but she managed to come to terms with her power thanks to her mother. 

After the DL-6 and her mother’s disappearance, Mia and her sister were always mistreated by their aunt. Mia never wanted to stay there, and she wasn’t even gonna become the next master of Kurain (a spot usually reserved to people who have an active-evident power, like Maya), so she felt no obligation towards the whole family tradition. She went away after turning 18, taking Maya away with her. Unlike Maya, she has no intention of ever coming back home, but she wants to honor her mother, and figure out what really happened that made her disappear.

That’s one of the reason she became a defense attorney. The other is that she wanted to make her power useful. She can’t prove how a person died by her mere words, but she can do her best to prove her client is innocent (Ah, easy to trust your client when you know exactly what happened).

She met Diego Armando when she started working for Grossberg, and their initial rivalry turned into something more, especially after he helped her investigating Dahlia Hawthorne (I will do a deep dive on Turnabout Beginnings and Turnabout Memories in the future). Then Diego is poisoned, and there aren’t enough evidence to charge Dahlia with attempted murder.

She met Phoenix Wright while defending him, and she realizes his awakening before him, by touching his arm and seeing his death.

She takes him under her wing, and acts as an older sister to him.

Trivia: She wanted to become a detective, at first, but she realized she’d rather defend people than accuse them.

She broke her magatama, as a sign of rebellion against her aunt, but she kept the pieces.

She always wears gloves, even when she doesn’t need to, because what are the odds of touching a dead body by mistakes? She only takes them off when working. It’s a habit she developed growing up, because aunt Morgan used to make her touch things to test her powers (and scare her). That’s why she likes to be covered. Better safe than sorry.

Yes... she dies in this AU too :(

[wayward-dreamer]

Life’s Lessons - Family Ties

AO3 Link: Read Here

Square Filled: Handjobs

Pairing: Mechanic!Dean x Female!Teacher!Reader

Other characters: OFCs: Meredith (Y/N’s mom), Jill (Y/N’s sister), Evie and Mia (Y/N’s nieces), OMC: David (Y/N’s dad), Brian (Y/N’s brother-in-law)

Word count: 6,539 (song lyrics in italics).

Rating: Explicit 18+!

Summary: Y/N’s family is coming to Lawrence to visit her, making this the perfect opportunity for Dean to meet them. Despite his nerves, Dean knows he has to bite the bullet and take the next step in order to have the future he wants with Y/N.

Warnings: Swearing, Dean’s self-deprecation rears its ugly head, Handjob, Dirty talk, A whole lotta fluff. 

Music: One of These Nights by Eagles (Dean and Y/N get ready for dinner scene)

Life’s Lessons Spotify Playlist

Created for @spnkinkbingo​

A/N: Time stamp #2 is here! I’m so excited to hear what you guys think of this. There’s just so much more to come for these two, and I can’t wait to share it with you all, but more on that later! ;) As always, happy reading and enjoy! :)

Dividers by @firefly-graphics​

Life’s Lessons Saga Masterlist

“Alright, great. I can’t wait to see you guys soon!”

Y/N hung up the phone and placed it on the coffee table in front of her. The smile she had been wearing as she spoke to her family suddenly dropped into a worried expression.

Her mother had called saying that they wanted to come and visit her in Lawrence, now that summer break was about to start, and she would be free to see her family. Her mom, dad, Jill, Brian and the girls were all planning on coming down to Kansas and spending a few days there. It was more than enough time for Y/N to spend with them and for her family to finally meet Dean.

Which was the cause of her worry.

It’s not that she didn’t want them to meet Dean. She did. She just wasn’t sure if Dean wanted to meet them. Especially not all at once.

The keys jingling in the door caught her attention, hearing Dean’s boots in the hallway before he appeared in the living room. He walked over to the kitchen and placed the take-out bags on the bench, and then came towards her with a smirk on his face. She had sent him a message to pick up food when the call went on for longer than she was expecting.

“Hey,” she said, leaning up and kissing him, as he leaned down.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He dropped himself on the couch, sighing heavily as he laid back, closing his eyes. “Fuck, I’m tired.”

She smiled softly, leaning over and kissing his cheek. “Well, relax for a bit, freshen up and then we can eat.”

He could clearly tell something was bothering her by the tremor in her voice, because he sat up slightly, frowning. “You okay, Y/N?”

She sighed as she turned to face him properly, trying to smile so that she didn’t worry him. “I’m fine, but there’s something I have to talk to you about.”

“What is it?” he asked, his frown becoming deeper.

“I was just on the phone with my mom, and… well she and everyone else – my dad, Jill, Brian and the girls – are all coming down here in a few days to see me,” she explained, carefully approaching the next subject.

“Okay…,” he trailed off, understanding so far what she was saying but waiting for more.

“And… they want to meet you,” she informed him, smiling softly. “I really want them to meet you too, but I wanted to see how you feel about it.”

“Oh.” He nodded slowly, trying to figure out the best way to continue. It’s not that he didn’t want to meet her family, it was because he had never done that before, in fear that he would be the last man a girl’s family would want her to be with.

“Dean?” She tried to get his attention, but he was practically staring into space. “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to. There’s no pressure-”

He suddenly turned, shaking his head as he took her hands in his. “No, no I-I want to,” he nodded, firmly. “I’m just… I’m not sure they’d wanna meet me.”

“Why not?” she asked. It made her sad and angry to hear him say that.

“Well… I’m not exactly the type of guy that girls want their parents to meet,” he muttered, shrugging as he looked down at their joined hands.

She shook her head, scooting closer to him. “That’s not true.”

“Yeah, it is, Y/N.” When he looked up at her, she felt her heart drop.

There was clearly something from his past that made him believe that to be true, and now it was up to her to make him see how wrong that was. He was a good man. He was perfect for her in every way, and she would prove that to him, more than she already had.

“It’s not,” she said, firmly as she shook her head. She squeezed his hand in hers, smiling at him. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and if you’re ready… I can’t wait for my family to see that.”

“You sure?” he asked, looking up at her. He knew he wanted to do this. It was the next step and he had to take it if they were going to have a future together. He just needed to be sure that she wanted her family to meet him.

“I’m positive,” she told him, smiling. “I need you to be completely sure, too.”

He gave her a firm nod. “I’d love to meet them.”

Y/N’s smile grew as she pushed herself into Dean, wrapping her arms around his neck as he fell back on the couch. She leaned down and kissed his lips, his cheek, his jaw, his neck and then moved back to his lips. He chuckled as she pulled away, slowly cupping her face in his hands, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“You’re really sure, right?” she asked, still worried. “I just don’t want to pressure you to do something you don’t to.”

He reached up, kissing her lips softly. “I’m sure, Y/N. You met my family and they loved you, so… hopefully it’s the same story with yours.”

“It will be,” she said, smiling. “I just know it.”

Dean walked up the porch stairs of Y/N’s house, a bottle of Bourbon in one hand, a bouquet of pink carnations in the other. Using his elbow, he rang the doorbell, slowly releasing a ragged breath he had been holding in. He was about to meet Y/N’s family and to say he was nervous was an understatement. He had never met a girlfriend’s family before, never getting to that stage with anyone. When he thought he had with Lisa, she wasn’t interested in her family getting to know him better. He had met her sister on one occasion when she was visiting with Lisa’s baby niece, but other than that, there had been nothing.

Now, he was with Y/N. The woman he already knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He couldn’t screw up this up.

The door swung open, a smiling Y/N greeting him on the other side, appropriately dressed for the weather they were having in a long, peach colored, strappy summer dress. She let him in, stopping him from walking further after she closed the door. She took him in, dressed in a black, half-sleeve button-up shirt and jeans and his boots, looking as gorgeous as he always did. She leaned in, kissing him softly.

“Hey,” she whispered. “I missed you yesterday.”

Her family had gotten to Kansas City in the morning, and they spent the whole day together, giving them time to be with each other before Dean met them.

“I missed you more,” he whispered back, smirking. “I don’t like not having you in my bed.”

“I don’t like it either,” she said, her tone still hushed. She moved closer to him, kissing him again. Pulling away, she smiled at him. “So… you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” he told her, with another shaky exhale.

She smiled softly and reassuringly, offering him her hand. “I got you.”

He smiled at her, gathering the bottle and bouquet in one hand, and taking hers with the other. He brought their linked hands to his lips, placing a kiss on hers. He knew he could do anything as long as he had her by his side.

“Let’s do this,” he said, winking at her.

Y/N took the lead as they walked down the hallway and into the living area where her family was. Dean saw them all sitting around and talking, laughing at something someone had said. As he and Y/N walked in, their heads turned to look at them, all of their eyes landing on him. A string of curses ran through his mind as Y/N’s father stood up, followed by her mother.

“Mom, dad… this is Dean,” Y/N introduced, with a big smile on her face. “Dean, this my dad, David and my mom, Meredith.”

“Good to finally meet you,” David said, offering his hand.

Dean quickly dropped Y/N’s hand as he shook her father’s, firmly. “Good to meet you, sir. I hope you’re a Bourbon man.”

He handed the bottle over, a little more confidence in him now, considering Y/N had given him the cheat sheet to get instant approval from her father and mother. He shook Meredith’s hand too, handing her the flowers.

“I do. Nice choice,” David smiled approvingly, giving Dean a little nod.

“These are beautiful, Dean. Thank you,” Meredith smiled, smelling the flowers.

“This is Jill, my sister and her husband Brian,” Y/N said, but paused for them to meet before she gestured for the girls to come forward. They were hiding behind Jill, slightly intimidated by Dean’s height. “And these two… are the most important people in our family. Evie and Mia.”

“Hey girls,” Dean smiled, crouching down to their level.

“Hi,” Evie muttered, shyly. “You’re really tall.”

Dean chuckled slightly, shaking his head. “I’m not as tall as my brother.”

Evie’s eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Dean nodded as his eyes widened like hers.

Evie laughed a little as she stepped out from behind Jill. “I’m 5. How old are you?”

“Evie,” Jill warned, shaking her head with a small laugh. “Sorry about her, she’s very inquisitive now.”

“It’s okay, really,” he said, waving it off. He moved a little closer to Evie, like he was about to tell her a secret. “I’m 35, kiddo. So pretty old.”

Y/N laughed a little as she saw her niece cup her hand over her mouth, dramatically as she heard how old Dean was. Dean laughed as well but held up his pinkie in a fake serious manner.

“Promise you won’t tell anyone?” he asked in a stage whisper, keeping within his little act.

She nodded and curled her pinkie around his. “Promise.”

“Good,” he said, giving her wink as he held a finger to his lips.

Little Mia wobbled on her legs, causing Jill to bend down and pick her up. Dean stood up and leaned over, lightly touching her chubby cheek. A small giggle left her, causing Dean to laugh as well.

Y/N felt her heart bursting with joy. She watched as Dean mingled with everyone, asking about their day out the previous day and general questions about their lives back at home in Rhinebeck. She knew things would go well, but they had gone better than she had ever pictured. Dean was now more at ease, asking them what they’d like to drink before he walked into the kitchen. She followed behind him, watching him take out 3 beers from the fridge and open them at the kitchen bench. She leaned into him, resting her chin on his arm as she looked up at him. “You’re amazing,” she whispered.

He looked at her and leaned down, kissing her forehead. “No. You are, and so are they.”

She closed her eyes at the feel of his lips on her skin, her smile beaming. “I love you. So much.”

“I love you, too” he said, leaning down to kiss her, passionately. He broke it after a moment, picking up the beers. “I’ll see you in there.”

He moved away, winking at her before he left the kitchen.

She watched from the kitchen as he sat amongst them, immediately immersing himself in the conversation. She sighed as her heart soared with the love she felt for him.

Lunch went incredibly well, Dean now comfortable with everyone and answering everyone’s questions. He had them all laughing with tales from his childhood, from work and just with his hilarious anecdotes and comments about everyone else’s stories he was listening to. When he mentioned the Impala, Y/N saw her dad’s eyes widen, her smile growing bigger if that was even possible, when Dean told him they could go for a drive one of these days.

As Y/N and Meredith cleared up after everyone was done with lunch, Jill and Brian took the girls outside in the backyard to play, now that the weather was a little more tolerable. Dean stood up from the table, clearing any remaining glasses and cutlery. He took them into the kitchen and returned to the table, catching the attention of Y/N’s father.

“Can I get ya anything else, sir?” Dean asked, as he turned to David.

“No, I’m good. Thanks Dean,” David smiled, gesturing for Dean to sit down. “Can we talk?”

Dean felt his heart begin to beat faster as he was suddenly nervous again. “Sure.” He sat down in the same chair he had occupied previously and faced the older man.

“Dean… I need to thank you,” David started as he looked up at Dean.

“Thank me? For what, sir?” Dean asked, confused as to what he had done that warranted praise.

“For making my daughter happier than I’ve ever seen her,” David replied, lowering his voice slightly so that Y/N didn’t hear from the kitchen. “She’s had a tough time after what her jerk of an ex did, but the fact that she’s now the way she used to be before him, better in fact… I have to thank you for that.”

Dean nodded but gave a little shrug. “That was all her, sir. She’s strong and clearly, she’s gotten that from you and Meredith. I only helped in any way that I could.”

“Definitely more from her mother than me. The three of them – Meredith, Jill and Y/N – they’re the reason I get up every morning,” David stated, smiling as he thought about his family.

Dean smirked, picking up his beer and holding it out. “To them.”

David smiled in return, picking up his bottle and clinking it with Dean’s. “To them.”

“Everything okay here?” Y/N asked, suddenly startling both of them as she and her mother walked back to the table.

“Yeah, we’re good,” Dean said, taking a sip of his beer.

“Dean!” little Evie hollered, as she came running into the house. She went right up to him and stood beside his chair, not intimidated by him anymore, her little face looking up at him. “Will you play outside with me and Mia?”

“Of course, peanut,” he said, getting up from the table. “Let’s go!”

Dean took off running after Evie, both of them sprinting into the backyard. Y/N laughed as she shook her head, loving that the kids had taken to him so quickly. Her mom came up beside her, putting her arm around her as they turned to look at each other.

“He’s a really good one,” she smiled, leaning over and kissing Y/N’s cheek.

“I think so, too,” Y/N said, smiling.

Meredith turned to David and gestured to the door. “Shall we take a walk? See the neighborhood?”

Y/N kept herself from laughing, knowing her mom was dying to see all the beautiful houses and their amazing gardens.

“Sure,” David said, as he stood up and took his wife’s hand. “See you soon, sweetie.” He walked past Y/N and kissed her head, as he led Meredith to the door.

“You two have fun!” she called out before the door shut behind them.

Y/N walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge, taking out the large jug of iced tea she had made. Pouring some into two glasses, she put the jug back in the fridge before taking the glasses out to her back porch. Jill was sitting at the outdoor dining table, watching Dean and Brian play with the girls. Y/N handed her a glass and sat down next to her sister, watching them too.

Dean roared after the little girl, who squealed and laughed as he chased her around the backyard. He picked up Evie, spinning her around, making her laugh even more. Little Mia had started walking, but it was more like waddling at this point. She stood in the grass, watching and clapping her chubby little hands. Brian stood behind her, making sure she didn’t fall.

“He’s amazing,” Jill told Y/N as they both watched Dean playing with the kids.

Y/N was feeling all kinds of things as she watched him. “Yeah, he is.”

“I think mom’s ready for the wedding, already,” Jill laughed, as Y/N rolled her eyes playfully.

“She’s going to be waiting a while, I think,” Y/N sighed, shrugging.

“Really?” Jill asked, frowning before it turned into a smile. “I personally don’t think so.”

“Jill.” Y/N shook her head, looking at her sister. “You can’t say stuff like that.”

“I can when it’s true. Dad’s ready to drive the Impala around one of these days, the girls adore him,” Jill stated, trying to make her sister understand why she was saying that. “Y/N… it’s going to happen. I can feel it.”

Just before she could say anything, Y/N looked up and smiled at Dean as he walked over, carrying Mia in one arm as he held Evie’s hand with the other. Brian laughed as he sat down, slightly relieved that the kids had attached themselves to Dean for a while.

“Damn, these two are tiring,” he huffed out as he sat down at the outdoor table, under the shade of the back porch. “I don’t know how you guys do it,” he laughed as he looked between Jill and Brian.

“It gets easier after a few years,” Brian explained, picking up Jill’s glass and taking a sip.

“You’ll understand when you guys have some of your own,” Jill said, pointedly.

Y/N glared at her, silently telling her to knock it off.

“Yeah, it’ll probably all make sense, then,” Dean said, winking at Y/N.

Jill looked at Y/N with an “I told you so” look before sipping her iced tea.

After a moment, they all returned inside, spreading out on the couches. Little Mia had fallen asleep in Brian’s arms, as Evie was struggling to keep herself awake in Jill’s lap. The front door opened and closed, signalling that David and Meredith had returned.

“How was the walk?” Y/N asked, smiling at her mom.

“Great, but it’s still pretty hot out there.” She emphasised her statement with a wipe of her brow as she sat down.

“I think we should head out. Get these two down for a nap,” Jill told Brian quietly, but loud enough for all of them to hear.

“Why don’t we all go to dinner tonight? I can find something for us,” David asked, looking between everyone.

Everyone didn’t even need to think it over, more than willing to go out for dinner.

They all said their goodbyes, as Jill and Brian went back to the hotel with the girls. Y/N’s mother and father were staying with her, but David had an old friend that lived in Kansas City who he and Meredith would be catching up with before dinner, so they all left together. Y/N and Dean waved them all off as they drove away, stepping back into the house. Just as the door closed, she jumped on him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He leaned in, kissing her passionately.

“That went really well,” she mumbled against his lips, between kisses.

“You think so?” he asked, frowning.

She nodded, smiling as she bit her lip. “Absolutely. You did great!”

“Thanks,” he muttered, a small smile gracing his face.

“You can relax now,” she joked, kissing his lips softly. She wrapped her arms around him, tighter, leaning her forehead against his.

“How does an afternoon nap sound?” he asked, smirking.

“It sounds terrific,” she replied, returning his smile.

Dean carried Y/N towards her bedroom, laying soft kisses on her skin as he walked down the hallway. He was glad to have a little time with her before they met up with her family again later that evening, fully intending on cuddling up with her and enjoying a late afternoon nap in May.

After a relaxing snooze, Dean and Y/N got ready to go to dinner with her family. He went to his house to get dressed and quickly came back. She had gotten a text from Jill telling her where they would be going to eat, and Y/N relayed the information to Dean as she got dressed. He wore a fresh half-sleeve button-up shirt, in blue this time and his jeans, once again donning his boots. Y/N got dressed into a red with white polka dots, A-line, knee-length dress and pulled her hair into a tight ponytail.

Once she was dressed, she applied a touch of make-up, dancing to One of These Nights playing from her speaker as she stood in front of the mirror. Her hips swayed from side to side, not realising the pair of green eyes on her. Dean sat back in the chair across from the bed, smirking at the sight in front of him.

“Keep doing that and we’ll never leave, sweetheart,” he informed her, the smirk not leaving his face.

She shook her head, laughing slightly. “This song just gets me going.”

“I sure ain’t complaining,” he said, as he stood up.

Quickly moving behind her as she packed away her make-up, he grabbed her hand, pulling her away from the mirror and spinning her around. She laughed as he spun her, bringing her in close to him as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Fuck. The things you do to me,” he whispered in her ear and leaned back, looking into her eyes.

“You’re one to talk,” she countered, smiling as she wagged her eyebrows.

One of these dreams

One of these lost and lonely dreams, now

We’re gonna find one

Oh, one that really screams

I’ve been searching for the daughter of the devil himself

I’ve been searching for an angel in white

I’ve been waiting for a woman who’s a little of both

And I can feel her but she’s nowhere in sight

Dean turned her around in his arms, her back pressed close to his chest. Leaning down, he kissed along her neck, smirking against her skin as she let out a soft moan.

“You know… he’s definitely talking about you,” he murmured, pulling her close to him.

“I’m the daughter of the devil?” she asked, shocked as she scoffed a laugh.

“Yeah,” he said, simply. “But you’re an angel in white, too. A little of both… that’s perfect, if you ask me.” He smirked at her in the mirror as she shook her head, trying not to show her amusement as she stopped herself from smiling.

“You’re insane,” she laughed, lightly as she moved away from him. She picked up her black purse that matched her black heels and offered him her hand. “We better go, come on.”

“Fine,” he whined, with a pout.

His plan to seduce her would just have to wait.

Despite it being a weekend, the traffic wasn’t as bad as Dean thought it would be driving into Kansas City. Very soon, he pulled up into the parking lot of the restaurant, cutting the engine. He made a move to get out, but felt Y/N tug on his shirt, causing him to turn around and face her. She smiled at him as she slid across the bench seat, instantly wrapping her arms around him. Without a word, she leaned in and pressed her lips to his, in a slow, sensual kiss.

Pulling away and clearing his throat, he blinked a few times as he looked at her in wonder. “What was that for?”

She bit her lip as she continued to smile and shrugged her shoulders. “To thank you for today. I hadn’t said it yet.”

“There’s no need to thank me, babe,” he told her, chuckling lightly.

“Yes, there is,” she said, nodding as she looked at him. “The way you were today with all of them; it was amazing. The way you were with the girls…”

She visibly shivered as she looked at him, her eyes flicking down to his lips before she looked up again. Seeing him with her nieces awoke something inside of her that she didn’t think would happen so soon. The desire to have children with him.

“You okay, sweetheart?” he asked, a smirk on his face.

She nodded as she leaned in, her lips brushing against his. “You’re so wonderful to everyone, Dean. You make everyone around you really happy.”

She saw his cheeks darken a little despite the lack of light in the car, and she thought it was the cutest thing ever. Slowly, one arm left the link around his neck, as her hand drifted down to the top of his jeans. She leaned in and kissed him in the same, sensual pace as her hand began to rub over the crotch of his jeans. As they continued to kiss, she felt him started to get hard under the denim.

He pulled away from the kiss, sighing. “Fuck, Y/N. We-we can’t, not here-”

She shushed him in a low tone, giving him that mischievous smile he loved so much. “It’s okay, no one’s going to see. Let me show you how much I appreciate you.”

She moved her other arm down too, as her hands quickly worked to unbuckle his belt and undo his jeans. Tugging them down, he lifted up slightly to let her pull them down to his thighs, his cock slapping against his lower stomach, semi hard.

Y/N kept her eyes on Dean’s as she brought her hand to her mouth, wetting it with saliva. She moved it down and took a hold of his cock, wrapping her fingers around the shaft in a firm grip. She slowly began to pump her hand up and down, her eyes never leaving him. She leaned in close to him, her eyes darkened.

“You’re so good to me, Dean,” she whispered, looking into his eyes. “You treat me so well. You’re the greatest man I’ve ever known.”

She felt his cock getting harder as she continued to stroke him. She leaned down and dropped more spit onto it, getting him nice and wet.

“You’re so kind, generous, loving, loyal,” she stated, as leaned in and pecked his lips, softly. “The way you make me feel… no one’s ever made me feel so good.”

Dean groaned as he looked down at her hand, watching it pump his cock. He looked up at her, his eyes hooded as he felt the familiar rush of arousal to his dick.

“Your cock is so perfect,” she moaned softly, looking between him and what she was doing. “It fills me up so good when it’s inside me, hits that spot inside of me that only you can reach.”

“Fuck, Y/N,” he grunted, his eyes flicking between her hand and her eyes. “Shit.”

Between the handjob and her words, he was going to cum sooner than he wanted to. He let out short puffs of air as he threw his head back over the top of the seat, his neck straining. She leaned in, kissing him at his pulse point, softly nipping at it.

“I fucking love this cock,” she moaned, kissing his neck. “And I love your tongue, and your mouth… when you suck on my clit… fuck, Dean you drive me crazy.”

Moving up onto her knees, she leaned over him, her face closer to his, staring into his eyes. Her other hand moved down and cupped his balls, rolling them in her palm.

“How do my hands feel, Dean?” she asked, quickly kissing his lips.

“Oh, fuck… feels-feels so fucking good, sweetheart,” he choked out, struggling to hold her gaze.

“Yeah?” she smirked, chuckling slightly at how much under her spell he was. “I bet I know what you want around this cock instead.”

Dropping more of her saliva onto his cock, she felt him throbbing against her hands as one continued to stroke him while the other paid attention to his balls. She moved her hand under the head of his cock, creating a ring and twisting her wrist, causing him to moan loudly. His eyes were shut tight, the muscles in his jaw twitching as he kept clenching it. The sight of him like that had her biting down on her lip, feeling herself getting wet as she looked at him.

“I love you so much, Dean Winchester. I love everything about you,” she whispered against his lips. “Look at me.”

Dean’s eyes snapped open as his breathing became more erratic. She kissed his lips as she kept her eyes open, looking down at him. She massaged the head of his cock with her fingertips, smirking as he bit down on his lip.

“Y/N, I… fuck, I can’t,” he stuttered, shaking his head. His mouth opened as his eyes closed again, a choked moan leaving him.

Her other hand took hold of his cock, as she began to work both hands along his shaft. He was close, his cock pulsing as she pumped her hands.

“You close, baby?” she asked, smiling down at him.

He nodded frantically as little grunts left his lips, his hands clenching into his jeans as they rested on his thighs.

“Look at me, Dean. I want you to look into my eyes when I make you cum,” she ordered, her hands picking up speed.

He opened his eyes again, causing her to smile when they met hers.

“That’s it, handsome. Just keep your eyes on me,” she said, smiling at him. Leaning in closer, she lowered her voice into a hushed tone. “I’m so happy you’re in my life, Dean. I can’t imagine it without you anymore. I want you forever.”

Her hands worked him faster, his cock throbbing more as she brought him closer to his release. She held one hand around the base of his cock, as the other continued to stroke him, her hand closing over the head firmly on every upward motion.

“Y/N,” he growled, through his clenched teeth. “Fuck, sweetheart, I-”

“You wanna cum, Dean?” she asked, smirking down at him.

He huffed as he looked up at her. “Y-Yeah.”

She moaned as she felt his cock throb and pulse. Looking into his eyes, she nodded approvingly. “Give me that cum, baby. Come on, cum for me, Dean…”

Dean felt his dick throb and threw his head back, letting out a loud, choked moan as ropes of cum spurted out of his cock. It all dripped over Y/N’s hand as she continued to jerk his shaft while he reached his high. She milked him for all he was worth and leaned down, lapping up everything he gave her from around her hand. She sucked at the tip of his cock to get the last of it into her mouth, before leaning up and looking at him as she swallowed. She smiled at him and winked, loving that she had an advantage. He shook his head as he looked at her, breathing heavily as he came down from his high.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” he groaned, shutting his eyes as he laughed. He opened his eyes, staring up at the roof of the car. He licked his lips and turned his head, looking at her.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, gorgeous,” he told her, tugging on her hand and pulling her closer. He leaned up, pressing his lips to hers in a searing kiss.

“We better clean up and go in,” she stated, after pulling her mouth away from his.

“Oh, now you wanna go in?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Now? When I have to face your family after what you did to me?”

She laughed loudly as she picked up her purse and moved away from him, opening the passenger door and getting out of the car.

Y/N rested her purse on the hood and opened it, taking out a few napkins and cleaning up her hands. She took out her lipstick and compact mirror, reapplying it to her lips after her saliva got rid of some of it. Packing the items back into her purse, she slung it over her shoulder, watching through the windscreen as Dean fixed himself, zipped up his jeans and got out of the car.

“Shall we?” she asked, completely nonchalant. As if she hadn’t just given him a handjob in the car, in the middle of the parking lot of a restaurant. He looked her up and down, that dress making her look innocent which she absolutely wasn’t.

“Now you know what I mean when I say that song’s about you,” he told her, glaring at her, but a playful glint shone in his eyes too.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, shrugging.

“You’re evil, Y/N Y/L/N,” he muttered, still glaring at her. He couldn’t keep it for long however, as a small smile started to grow.

“You love me,” she stated, laughing.

“Yeah,” he agreed, as he walked over to her. He held out his hand which she took instantly. “Let’s go.”

They walked into the restaurant, quickly spotting her family and walking over to the table. They all greeted each other and then Y/N sat down next to Jill with Dean next to her. She looked over at him, smiling to herself as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“You okay there, Dean?” David asked.

Dean looked up at him, an eyebrow raised before he let out a small chuckle. “Just fine, sir. A lot of traffic on the road… just stretching out my legs.”

She pressed her lips into a thin line, trying to keep from laughing as she looked over the menu in front of her. Her eyes flicked up to see Dean glaring at her discreetly, before looking over the menu too. She bit her lip to keep from snickering as she ignored his gaze.

As the first round of drinks came and went, Dean entertained everyone with more stories of his past, making everyone at the table gravitate towards him. He usually hated being the centre of attention, but when he was comfortable with people, he was the life of the party. Y/N couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she watched him. He had been so nervous to meet her family, but now he just fit right in. As dinner came, she had to wrangle Evie away from Dean, as she wouldn’t let him eat, wanting his attention too. However, as dessert came around, she was fully cemented in Y/N’s lap; the two of them sharing a bowl of ice-cream.

“Aunty Y/N,” Evie got her attention in a hushed voice, leaning close to her ear.

“What’s up, honey?” Y/N asked, her tone hushed too.

“Are you gonna marry Dean?” Evie asked in return, cupping a hand near her mouth, making sure that Dean wouldn’t hear her.

Y/N looked down at her, amused as she laughed. “Do you want me to marry Dean?”

“Yes,” Evie nodded, enthusiastically. “He’s nice and played with me today. I want him to be my uncle.”

Y/N chuckled quietly, kissing her forehead. “You think he’ll make a good one?”

Evie nodded as she put a spoonful of ice-cream in her mouth.

“Yeah,” Y/N said, smiling as she stroked her niece’s hair with her other hand. She looked over at him, fully immersed in a conversation about cars with Brian and her father, and felt her heart skip a beat. “I think so, too.”

After dinner, they said their goodbyes to Jill, Brian and the girls who went back to the hotel they were staying in. Dean happened to be having a guys’ night with his brother and his friends the next day, so he invited Brian along. Jill was joining Y/N and her friends while their parents looked after the girls. Y/N was happy that her family would be meeting her second one, something that she had always hoped would happen. She was so elated that it finally was.

Dean pulled up outside his house, cutting the engine. He and Y/N both got out of the car, as she looked over to see her parents park her car in the driveway of her house. She closed her door and walked around to Dean’s side, smiling at him. She instantly moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She shook her head as she marvelled at him, pushing up on her toes despite her heels and leaning in, kissing him softly.

“What was that for?” he asked, when she pulled away.

“For being exactly who you are,” she replied, kissing him again. “Thank you for today. I know you were nervous, but god, you were incredible. I had no doubt that you would be, but I just wanted you to know that.”

“Thanks, sweetheart,” he said, smirking. “Helps that they’re all awesome, just like you.”

She blushed as she shook her head, looking up when her parents approached them. She stepped back from Dean, opening her purse and taking out her keys.

“Give me those, and you stay here tonight,” Meredith said, gesturing to the keys.

“Mom-” she started but her mother cut her off.

“Nope, I know what you’re going to say. We know where everything is now, so we’ll be fine,” she stated, a small smile on her face. “And don’t try to argue with me. I know you both need your time together, too.”

She added a quick wink directed at Y/N, while David wasn’t looking. Y/N’s eyes widened as Dean cleared his throat, having seen the gesture.

“Mom,” Y/N gritted out, nodding over to her dad.

“Oh, trust me, he didn’t hear.” Meredith leaned over, kissing her cheek. “Goodnight, honey. Goodnight, Dean.”

“Night, kids,” David said, leaning in and kissing her cheek, too.

“Goodnight, Meredith. Goodnight, sir,” Dean nodded at both of them. They waved them off and watched them go into Y/N’s house, closing the door behind them.

They both walked up the driveway and into Dean’s house. Y/N walked into the kitchen and got herself a glass of water as Dean locked up, walking in after her. She took a sip but put the glass down, watching him. He smirked at her, raising an eyebrow.

“I think…” he trailed off, walking closer to her. “I need to get you back for that little stunt you pulled in the car.”

She smiled that naughty smile he loved so much, but it suddenly dropped into an innocent look. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She really was the perfect combination of sweet and mischievous. All good girls were.

“Oh really?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

Suddenly, he dropped down quickly, wrapping his arms around her legs and lifting her up. He swung her over his shoulder as she squealed, lifting up his hand and landing a spank on her ass, causing her to yelp and laugh.

“Dean! Oh my god!” she cackled, hysterically as she hung upside down. “Put me down!”

“Nope. I’m taking you to bed, sweetheart,” he growled, his voice low and husky. It always told her what kind of mood he was in. “Teacher’s the one learning a lesson this time.”

Dean took off down the hallway with a laughing Y/N over his shoulder, ready to get her back in the best way possible.

-x-

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