#especially mark like men will do anything but go to therapy GET A GRIP!!!!!!

[beetleprophet]

on season 2 of broadchurch and its great im just baffled by how clinically insane and/or creepy almost everyone in this town is . Like how does this happen

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Out Of Time ~ 122

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 3,000ish

Summary: A rollercoaster.... yep, that’s all I got.

Tony immediately called Happy to pick them up. The streets were busier now, so there was no way that Y/N and Tony walking wouldn’t be noticed. Happy was surprised and relieved to see Y/N. He knew not to ask questions, but Y/N could feel them turning in his mind. Thankfully, Tony had a private elevator from the building’s garage to his penthouse. 

The penthouse was beautiful, not like Y/N expected it to not be. Tony was a billionaire after all. As Tony made a phone call to Pepper about not making his meetings today, Y/N walked around. Along the walls, there were pictures of Tony throughout his life. His young inventor years, him and Rhodey in college, him and Happy, him and Pepper. There was a picture of Tony and Maria, even one with Howard and Tony. As she continued she saw photos of her and Tony and the team. There was one of Harley and Tony, which looked to be fairly recent, and another one with Tony and a teenage boy.

“See you’ve found the wall,” Tony commented, walking up behind her. “Or, as Happy and Rhodey call it, the story of my life.”

“I’m surprised you have all these out,” Y/N said, motioning to the wall. “Especially—“

“The ones with the Team?”

“Yeah.” Y/N nodded.

Tony sighed, looking at the photos. “I like to remember the good ole days. The days before…”

“Before it all went to hell.” She turned at smiled softly at the man beside her. “I get it.” She turned back to the wall and pointed to the picture of Tony and the unknown teenager. “Who’s this?”

“Oh, that’s Mr. Peter Parker. Otherwise known as Spider-Man.”

“There’s a Spider-Man?”

“I forgot that I didn’t get the chance to introduce you to him. Parker helped me at the… well, it doesn’t matter. He’d really fan over you,” Tony chuckled. “Maybe I’ll see if he can stop by after school.”

“That would be nice.”

“He’s smart like Harley. I’ve been trying to introduce the two, but they’ve both been crazy busy.” Tony started walking to the kitchen. “Harley got early acceptance to MIT.”

“Really?” Y/N asked, excitedly, as she followed Tony. “That’s so good.”

“Full ride. And I’ve offered to help with any extra expenses.” He reached into a cupboard, grabbing two glasses.

“That’s really kind of you.”

“It’s the least I can do. After all, without him, I wouldn’t have been able to save you from Killian all those years ago.” Tony got out some orange juice and started pouring it into the glasses.

“All those years ago?” Y/N giggled. “You make it sound so long ago. It was barely 4 years ago.”

“Well…” He pushed a glass over to Y/N. “A lot has happened since then.”

“That’s true.” Y/N slowly nodded, taking a sip. “How’s Rhodey?”

“He’s almost done with physical therapy. I have him in, like the, uh… mark 6 or something, of his braces. They’re really helping.”

“That’s good.”

“I’m planning on developing them so that more people like him can walk again.”

“You’re too good for this world, Tony…”

Tony laughed. “No, I’m not.”

“You hide it under a facade, but you are Tony.”

“I think—“

“Boss,” FRIDAY interrupted. “Secretary Ross is on the line. He says it’s urgent.”

“Doesn’t he always?” Tony muttered, rolling his eyes. He pointed at Y/N. “Stay silent. We can’t let him know that you’re here.” With a nod, Y/N responded. “Alright, patch him through FRI.”

“Stark,” Ross barked over the intercom system. “Y/N has been spotted in New York City.” Both Y/N and Tony froze, looking at each other with wide eyes. “A camera caught her face in Central Park.”

“Don’t run,” Tony told Y/N through his thoughts. “Please.”

“I’m working with local authorities as well as my own team to see if she’s still in town. I need you on it as well.”

“Can’t today. Busy.”

“This is an order, Stark.”

“Still, can’t. It’s my day off. I’m planning on putting some time in the lab. And spending some time with myself, if you know what I—“

“Stark! This is serious. I don’t care if she was your girlfriend. She needs to be found and brought in.”

Y/N took a step back, opening a portal behind her. Her and Tony’s eyes never left each other’s.

“Fine,” Tony conceded. “I’ll get on it right away.”

“Keep me updated,” Ross ordered before hanging up.

“So…” Y/N whispered. “You gonna turn me in?”

“Never.” He shook his head. “I’m going to go out and take them off your scent. You need to stay here.”

“Tony, I can’t—“

He rushed to her, grabbing her arms. “Yes, you can. Because you promised me one night. And I can’t bear to see you go without a goodbye again.”

“Then let me say goodbye. I promise it won’t be forever. I was so stupid for walking through the city like that.”

“Would you have sought me out if I hadn’t found you?”

“… I don’t know… I honestly don’t know. I’m sorry, Tony. For everything.”

He gripped tighter, but not enough to hurt. “Don’t go. Please.”

“I’m sorry, Tony. I’m so sorry.”

Tony quickly responded with his lips on hers. He poured everything he had wanted to say in the past year into that kiss. Y/N willingly reciprocated the kiss. As the kiss deepened, Tony carefully moved his hand into his pocket. He pulled out a thin bracelet. As he held onto Y/N’s wrist, he slipped it on. Y/n felt it as is tightened around her wrist. 

“What did you just do?!” She exclaimed as she pushed herself away. She looked down, holding her wrist. “What is this?!”

“I’m protecting you!” Tony defended.

“By what?! Tracking me?!”

“It’s not a tracker! It’s to keep you here!”

“You think this can stop me from leaving?! You don’t even know if it works!”

“I DON’T CARE! YOU AREN’T LEAVING ME AGAIN! I can’t… I can’t take it.”

Y/N took a step back, tears pooling in the corner of her eyes. “And you think this—“ She help up her wrist, “—will make me want to stay with you?”

“I just want to keep you safe…. You have to understand that. I’ve already lost so much.”

“Everything’s not about you, Tony…” She shook her head slightly. “I can’t believe you. Trying to keep me stuck here… Like, some sort of prisoner.”

“Do you even know what it’s like? I’ve watched you almost die, multiple times. You disappeared on me after losing our baby!”

“I do know what it’s like! I’ve watched you be put in harms too! If you remember, I’m the one who had to close the portal! You almost died because of the arc reactor! You wanted to sacrifice yourself in Sokovia! So don’t even. We’ve both done enough stupid shit for multiple lifetimes.”

“Y/N—“ He stepped towards her.

“No. I’ve got to go. And you can’t stop me.” Focusing, she pointed at the bracelet. A purple stream came out of her finger and hit the bracelet, shattering it.

“How did you…?” The shock left as quick as it came when he noticed a portal opening. “No! Please! Don’t go.”

“You’re giving me no choice.”

“I love you… please, remember that…”

“…I love you, too.”

~~~

Honestly, Bucky was worried. It had been a few hours since Y/N had left. And yes, she promised she’d return. He just didn’t know when or where she even went. So the former Winter Soldier kept himself busy with work about his small house. He was just finishing up with his bedroom, when he heard footsteps in his kitchen.

“Y/N?” He called. “Is that you?” 

A small whimper was heard coming from the other room. Bucky rushed through his curtain clad doorway to see Y/N. She had a hand clasped over her mouth while her other arm was wrapped around her waist. Tears were running down her cheeks.

“What is it?” He hurried over, examining her body for any injuries. “What’s wrong?”

“I— He— I don’t know what to do….” She broke down into sobs.

“Sshh…” Bucky pulled Y/N into his chest. “It’s okay… it’s okay.” He rested his head on top of hers. It was times like this that Bucky wished for his arm, even his metal arm. “What happened?"

“I was almost caught.”

“What?” He pushed away to look at her face. “What do you mean?”

“I was stupid. I just went to visit Ma and Pa and I was almost caught. And then… then… I need to think.”

She turned away, rushing out the door of the house. Bucky followed after her.

“Wait!” He called. “What happened?”

“I was stupid. That’s what happened. Stupid for falling in love with the most caring, protective men in this whole damn universe! I was even more stupid to not have just tried to move on from at least one of them!”

“Y-you love me?” Bucky whispered, surprised. 

He had told her twice now since Siberia. But she had never responded. Y/N halted and spun around.

“Yes, you idiot!” She yelled, more frustrated with herself than anything else. “I never stopped! But here’s the problem, I love Tony too. Just as much.”

“You saw him, didn’t you?” Y/N looked away as Bucky step forward. “Was he the reason why you were almost caught?”

“No. It was my stupid mistake of walking through the city that almost got me put in Raft… I just…” She buried her head in her hands. “I don’t know what to do… Who ever I choose, hearts will break. And one of them will be mine.”

“Then don’t choose.”

“What?” Y/N snapped her head up to look at him. “What do you mean don’t choose?”

“I mean…” Bucky stepped closer and took one of her hands. “You don’t have to make a decision right now. Honestly, it wouldn’t be wise to. Give us both time, give us both a chance. You and Tony need to patch things up and we haven’t official been together since the 40’s. You need a chance to explore both relationships, so that you make the right choice for you.”

“But what would I tell Tony? He hates you and I don’t think—“

“Then don’t tell him. But you do owe it to both of us and yourself to give us both a chance. And to show you that I mean what I’m telling you, I’m taking you out tonight.”

“Bucky, you really don’t—“

“Oh but I really do. I need to show you that I’m serious about letting you choose but that I’m not going down without a fight. So you’re going to go back to the palace, get all dolled up and I’ll swing by around 7 to pick you up.”

“I really don’t know about this… I’m scared.”

“And that’s okay. Just, trust me. Can you do that?” Y/N nodded. “Good.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Now go. And don’t worry about the date, I’ll plan everything.”

~~~

Y/N spent most of the day, pacing. She was nervous. Should she really be going out on a date with Bucky? And should she even be considering the option of dating both men? Maybe she should just take a break, tell them both that she can’t focus on romance. Y/N knew her powers weren’t strong enough for what was to come. Maybe she should just focus on that.

“Oh gosh…” she muttered to herself, rubbing her temples. “What am I doing? How could I be so stupid?”

The gentle knock at the door broke her trance of spiraling self talk. Answering it, she found T’Challa on the other side.

“I heard you have a date tonight,” T’Challa said with a smug smile.

“Ugh!” Y/N rested her head on the door. “Is he telling everyone?”

“Oh, no.” T’Challa shook his head, entering the room. “He just needed a suit fitted to him, so he had to tell me.”

“A suit?” Y/N repeated, shutting the door. “How fancy is this?”

“And that is the reason I stopped by, to warn you that your outfit right now might not be… well, might not be the most impressive.”

“Thanks, Your Majesty,” she mocked. “And, technically, he’s trying to impress me.”

“Yes, he did explain to me the offer he gave you. Have you talked to Stark about it?”

“I saw him this morning, that didn’t go well and it wasn’t even about dating both men. So, no, I haven’t and I don’t know if or when I will.”

“That’s not fair to Tony.”

“Life’s not fair.” Y/N huffed at looked out the large window. “I’ll talk to him. Eventually. Just not tonight. Tonight can be about me and Bucky, then tomorrow can be about him.”

~~~

Evening came, and Y/N was finally dressed up. T’Challa had a dress brought in for her to use. She was nervously sitting in her room, waiting for Bucky. She didn’t know what to expect. Even back in the 40’s, they never really had the chance to go on a real date because of the war. Y/N could tell Bucky was getting closer as his nervous thoughts became louder and louder to her.

“Don’t screw this up, punk,” he told himself. “You’re fine. You’ve been on plenty of dates before. Granted, it was before you became a murder and none of them were actually with the love of your life…. Ugh…. I guess, what do I have to lose?” He paused. “Actually, a lot. I have a lot to lose.”

Y/N could hear his feet stop outside her door and the thoughts continue.

“Just knock. Lift your arm and knock. Crap, maybe I should have taken up Shuri’s offer to put my new arm on. Maybe she won’t find me as good looking. Should I run to the lab? Also, I don’t like holding her with one arm and what if—“

Y/N ripped open the door, fully surprising Bucky.

“Glad to know I’m not the only one over thinking,” she teased.

“What— how did you— can you…” Bucky stammered. “Can you read minds?”

“I can. Sorry, have I never mentioned that before?”

“No. You haven’t. Do you, uh, do you do it a lot?”

“I’ve learned how not to because yours were so loud out there, I couldn’t help myself.”

“Okay.” He gave one nod. “You look beautiful, by the way.”

“Thank you.” She smiled. “You look really good as well, even without the arm.”

Bucky winced. “You heard that?”

“And more.” She shut the door and wrapped her arm around Bucky’s. “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.” Bucky began leading the way.

“Really? Nothing?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“I think I’ve had enough surprises from you for a lifetime.”

“Too bad.”

Bucky led Y/N into a small room. There was a table in the center with candles and covered food on it. Most of the walls were windows, giving away a view of a spectacular sunset.

“Wow,” Y/N gasped, leaving Bucky to go look out the window. “It’s… it’s gorgeous.”

“Yeah,” Bucky responded with a small smile. “It is.” He watched Y/N watch the sunset. “After being held up in the lab for awhile, once I was finally let out, this was the first part of Wakanda I saw. I fell in love almost immediately.”

“I can see why.”

“It reminded me that somethings never change.” Y/N looked at Bucky with a curious, quirked brow. “No matter what happens, the sun will always rise and set. No matter what you’ve done that day or what’s been done to you. It’s something that’s steady. Always there when you need it.”

“Yeah… I guess you’re right.”

“Come on, doll, I’m right most of the time.”

Y/N laughed. “You wish!”

They went on about old times as they moved to the table and began eating. They laughed and reminisced about old times well until after dinner was gone. It was nice, refreshing for both of them after such a long time of continually fighting or on the run. When the laughing grew quiet, Bucky watched as Y/N observed the stars from her seat.

“You know,” he started quietly, “you’ve changed. But you haven’t changed at all.”

Y/N looked at him, confused. “What do you mean?”

“Like, you have these powers, which I’m totally going to ask you more about later, but… you’re still you. Y/N Rogers, the girl I fell in love with.”

“And you’re still you, Buck. Even after everything HYDRA made you do, you’re still you.”

Bucky got up from his seat and walked around to the side Y/N was sitting. Grabbing her hand, he quickly pulled her up to her feet. His arm circled her waist to pull her into him as his lips found their way to hers. Y/N welcomed it, moving her hands so that they were holding Bucky’s face close. When they finally pulled apart, they were panting slightly.

“Thank you,” Y/N whispered. “For tonight, for understanding.”

“Of course,” Bucky replied. “You mean the world to me. Anything to make you happy.”

Y/N kissed him again. “Do you want to get out of here? Maybe some place more private?”

“Just led the way, doll. I’m all yours.”

next chapter >

NOTES: from now on the taglist when be added by a reblog. I will reblog it using my second account, @just-dreaming-marvel-2​​. Just so that my main page doesn’t get too cluttered.

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

[muchadoaboutbucky]

Old Wounds, New Scars (oneshot)

PAIRING: Bucky x Reader WARNINGS: brief description of injury, surgery-related ptsd, comfort fluff, talk of therapy, smut NOTE: Edited by @crispychrissy​. Do not save or repost my work without my consent. Image credit. 18+ only.

Bucky’s terrified of doctors. Anything that comes with the smell of antiseptic and the glare of bright lights on white walls and metal tables is a significant trigger. He’s a little more comfortable when you go with him, but his fight-or-flight instincts skyrocket regardless.

This appointment is a little more invasive than usual. When he’d had his old arm, he’d apparently fought to claw it out, gouging deep into his own body around where it was attached to his shoulder and pectoral. The injuries had left him with deep scars that, over time, healed into long, raised marks that he hates to touch or even look at. To add to his discomfort, the battle with Thanos two years before had resulted in his vibranium arm taking a bad hit from an explosive. The metal, of course, was unaffected, but the bone joint of his shoulder has gotten too painful for him to ignore. 

The only option for remediating both of his afflictions is surgery. That means doctors, which means Bucky’s scared.

He’s in a private room at New York Presbyterian, pacing back and forth with his arms folded across his chest. The doctors have given him a gown to dress in, but he feels too exposed, especially with the four security cameras constantly monitoring him. The room is reinforced, meant to house enhanced individuals with various abilities. Knowing that he’s trapped in a room he can’t escape only makes him more anxious.

“Buck.”

He glances towards the sound of your voice, sees you perched on the edge of the bed. You’ve been watching him the whole time, barely able to do anything but brace for an explosion of panic. It’s three forty-eight, and the doctors are due to collect him for surgery promptly at four. The minutes are ticking down and he’s only getting more scared.

“Yeah?”

You pat the bed next to you. “Come here.”

“No.” He shakes his head, glancing up at the clock for the upteenth time. “I need to walk.”

“You need to settle down.” Your tone might sound firmer than it needs to be, but Bucky’s reached the point where simply being his kind, gentle wife isn’t going to work. “Come here and sit. Hold my hand.”

He shuffles over, lowering himself onto the stiff mattress. The restraints hang from the steel posts, thick cuffs reinforced with iron buckles. They’re strong enough to hold him, and he flinches at the idea of being tied down.

You gather his vibranium hand into yours and reach up to thread your other fingers through his hair. He leans in, resting his cheek on your shoulder with a deep sigh.

“I hate it here.”

“I know.” You kiss his forehead soothingly, tone growing softer. “But this isn’t HYDRA, baby. They’re good doctors who wanna help you.”

He swallows. His flesh hand fists in the rough fabric of his hospital gown. “How long will it take? I forgot.”

He hasn’t forgotten. He just wants to hear it coming from you. “The doctors said two hours, tops,” you reply. “And when you wake up we’ll be going home, okay?”

He nods slowly, closing his eyes as the clock continues to tick down the seconds. Finally, just when he’s relaxed into you with his nose buried in your hair, the buzzer on the heavy metal door creaks open and he jerks his head over his shoulder so fast you’re sure he’s given himself whiplash.

“Easy.” You reach out to steady him with a hand on his uninjured shoulder. “Two hours and it’s over, Buck.”

He eyes the doctors as they ease into the room with a surgical gurney. Restraints identical to those on the bed hang from the handrails. 

“Don’t leave me,” he says, voice low and quaking. 

“I’ll go as far as they’ll let me,” you assure him. “And when you wake up I’ll be right there.”

You hold his flesh hand as he climbs onto the gurney. His eyes never leave yours as the doctors fix the restraints around his wrists and ankles. It’s just a precaution, just to prevent him from trying anything between here and the O.R.. With your hand still clenched in his, you walk by his side towards the doors to the operating room. He heaves a quick sigh as the attendants come to a stop, and you bend low to kiss him. 

“Two hours,” you remind him, “and then we can go home.”

He swallows thickly and closes his eyes as the attendants wheel him through, and the moment he’s out of sight, you hurry back to the recovery room, tugging your phone from your bag. 

You’re going to need backup.

***

Sam gets down to the recovery room an hour later. He’s got two cups of Starbucks with him, and you gratefully take yours when he extends it.

“How long has be been in?” He asks, lowering himself onto the bench next to you.

“Just since I called,” you reply, sipping your drink and closing your eyes. “He was terrified.”

Sam nods in agreement. “I didn’t expect it to be easy for him. You afraid he might snap?”

“I don’t know.” You sigh heavily. “The doctors said the anesthesia could affect his memory slightly, but it’s Bucky… he’s a strong guy, but all it takes is the right triggers and he’ll…”

Sam rubs a palm against his jeans. “He’ll be all right. It’s been six months, he’s been goin’ to therapy, he’s been doing everything right.”

You remain silent, unable to do anything but swallow the emotion that wants to break free.

True to the surgeon’s word, Bucky’s out of surgery in just an hour and thirty two minutes. The scar tissue was an easy cosmetic fix, and the injury to his shoulder only required a simple adjustment to fully realign his shoulder joint with the vibranium socket of his prosthetic. He’ll have to take it easy for a couple of weeks, but overall, he should be just fine.

He’s placed back in the recovery room to wake up from the anesthesia on his own. You and Sam watch him sleep through the thick panes of glass as the doctors work around him, checking his vitals and recording notes in their logs. He looks peaceful, but you know that when he wakes up, it’ll most likely be a different story.

You’ve just reclined back on the bench when a loud crash echoes from inside Bucky’s room, closely followed by an anguished yelp. 

“Who are you!? Get off me!”

He’s writhing on the bed, straining at the heavy restraints that bind him. One doctor is clutching his wrist to his chest; Bucky had evidently caught it in his vibranium grip. You reach for the doorknob, but Sam pulls you back. 

“Y/N, he’s not balanced,” he warns, “let them calm him down—”

“He won’t calm down,” you protest, tugging out of his grip, “they’ll only hurt him more.”

You storm through the doors, kicking a stand of instruments out of your way as you rush towards his bed. One nurse attempts to hold you back.

“Ma’am, we have this under control, you need to stay back—”

“I’m his wife, damn it!” You shove past them as Bucky lets out a panicked yell, his struggle growing more and more violent. “Bucky! Baby, hey…”

He jerks away from your touch, eyes lit with a combination of fear and rage, but when you bend low, holding his face against your shoulder, he freezes. He can smell your jasmine perfume and feel the texture of your hair on his face. 

It’s not HYDRA. It’s just you.

The sob he lets out almost breaks your heart, and you reach down to grip his flesh hand in yours. His breathing is heavy and ragged in his throat, and you can’t help the tears that spring to your eyes at the sound of his distress. 

“Shhh,” you soothe him gently, fingers running through his hair. “It’s okay, baby, I’m right here. Nobody’s gonna hurt you.”

You lift your head, nodding at the doctor with a syringe full of sedatives. Quietly, she steps forward and injects the medication into Bucky’s IV. Within seconds, he goes limp, head falling back against the pillow. Gently, you wipe the tears from his cheeks and press a kiss to his forehead.

“We’ll be home soon,” you promise quietly.

***

Bucky wakes up in your bed at home. The sun’s shining through the sheer curtains, casting shafts of light onto the light bedspread. He’s been redressed in a pair of gray sweats, and the bandages from his operation lay thick and heavy on his left shoulder. He can’t move his vibranium arm without feeling an ache. 

“Hey, he’s awake.” 

He glances to his right. Sam’s sitting in the heavy chair, a Men’s Health magazine in one hand. “Hey,” he croaks back. “What time is it?”

Sam checks his watch. “Just past nine. You’ve been out a long time. You feelin’ okay?”

Bucky gives a tentative shrug. His shoulder aches, and he feels a taut well of emotion filling his throat. “Where’s Y/N?”

“Kitchen,” Sam replies. “Told her I’d keep watch while she made breakfast. She’s been up all night makin’ sure you’re good.”

Bucky swallows. His throat’s dry, and he’s having a hard time keeping his voice steady. “Can you get her, please?”

“Yeah. I gotta head out, but I’m just a phone call away, you got that?” Sam waits for his friend to give a short nod before he pats his uninjured shoulder and walks out of the room. A minute later, Bucky hears your light footsteps on the carpet. You slip into the room, not bothering to close the door as you beeline for his side of the bed. 

“Hey.” You cup his face gently and peer into his eyes.

At the feeling of your smooth palms on his cheeks, Bucky gives in to the knot in his throat. Tears blur his vision, and he wants nothing more than to pull you into bed with him and hold on tight forever and ever. “I don’t want to do that ever again.”

You let him cry, pressing a gentle kiss to his hair. “You don’t have to. It’s going to be okay, baby, you’re home.”

Bucky wraps his arm around you, fingers clenching tight into the fabric of your tee-shirt as he lets go of a shuddering breath. You feel his tears wet on your shirt, and all you can do is hold him and allow him to show this sliver of emotion.

You wait until he’s calmed, his breathing resuming its usual slow, deep rhythm. “Do you want to call your therapist?” 

Bucky swallows thickly. “I can’t leave the house.”

“You can do a video call.” You pull back to run your thumbs over his cheeks, wiping away the tears that fall. “I’m making breakfast, do you want me to bring you something? We can find something to watch and just stay in bed.”

He takes a deep, shuddering breath. “Yeah. That sounds good.”

***

You spend the rest of the day in bed. He’s calmed by the scent of jasmine and the feeling of your body tucked against his. Around five, Bucky’s stomach growls, and you break away to let him finish an episode of The Great British Bake-Off to whip up something for dinner. When he’s able to stand, he shuffles slowly into the bathroom to relieve himself and splash some water on his face. He’s just turned the tap off when he looks up into the mirror.

God, he looks awful. Dark circles under pink-rimmed eyes. Pale skin. He’s let his hair grow long again, and it looks wild and scraggly… he needs a trim, and soon.

He starts the shower and lowers the wooden bench. Ordinarily he’d stand, but he’s still tired and it’s easier to reach the handheld showerhead. It only takes him a few minutes to lather his hair with shampoo and scrub as much of his body as he can with his good arm. Luckily, he manages to avoid getting his bandages wet, and he dries himself off before retreating back to the bedroom. 

By the time you bring dinner, he’s dressed in a simple pair of boxer briefs and gotten back under the covers. He sighs appreciatively at the smell of spaghetti and tomato sauce, and he cradles his larger bowl (he still has a supersoldier appetite) on his lap, biting into large forkfuls of pasta until only a few swipes of red sauce remain. 

“Good?” you ask jokingly, setting both your dishes on the bedside table. 

He smiles. “I feel much better. Thank you.”

“Mm. I love cooking.” You lean in to kiss him. “Especially for my husband.”

“I thought women didn’t like doing that stuff anymore,” he jokes.

You giggle against his lips. “Women like to do whatever they want.”

Bucky smiles and loops his arm around your waist, dragging you closer. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You can’t help but blush when he scrapes his teeth over the pulse point on your neck. It’s something he only does when he’s craving intimacy. “Baby, are you sure?”

He nods slowly. “It’s been a rough couple days. Could use the release.”

With a soft sigh, you slide one leg over his hips. Bucky lets out a soft huff against your mouth; due to your schedules, it’s been a few weeks since you’ve been intimate, and he’d be lying if he said it hasn’t been bothering him. 

He’s dragged from his thoughts by the feeling of your warm hand sneaking into his briefs, stroking his shaft until he’s hard and throbbing. He lifts his hips enough for you to get the thick waistband down, and you slip your panties off before reaching up to strip your shirt over your head. 

“Damn.” Bucky traces his thumb over one nipple and gazes up at you. His eyes flutter closed when you rub the tip of him against your warmth. His hand floats down to hold your waist, fingers digging into soft flesh. 

“Just relax,” you whisper, “lemme do the work.”

Bucky hums, sucking in a deep breath as you lower yourself down. His lips part, and when he feels your slick, wet heat fully wrapped around him, he can’t hold back a loud moan of pleasure. You watch, palms braced on his chest as he gathers himself, cheeks flushing pink. 

“Feel good?” you ask playfully. 

He nods quickly. “Yeah… God, you’re so warm.”

He gives a little push with his hips, and you take his hint, settling into a slow, steady rhythm. He follows the steady rocking of your body, emitting little gasps and groans as waves of pleasure swell and recede. You don’t ask for more, just give him what he needs in silence. 

When he decides that the simple teasing isn’t enough, he slips his hand down between your legs, pressing his thumb over your sensitive nub. You tense, squeezing around him, and he smiles when you let out a soft whimper and grind against him a little faster. 

You climax together in a single explosive moment, bodies shuddering and clenching as Bucky pours into you, a low moan leaving his throat. He clutches at you, holding you down tight until he’s given you everything and your rapid contractions have subsided. 

“Hey,” he pants, gazing up through half-lidded eyes. “You all here?”

You nod and slump down on his chest, lifting your head to meet him in a kiss. “I think we needed that.”

“Me too.” He chuckles and runs his hand down your back. “Baby.”

“Mm.”

“Thanks for not…” he swallows, “y’know… thinkin’ less of me.”

You frown. “Why would I think less of you, Buck?”

“Dunno.” He sighs. “Just… for a little bit, I thought you might be getting fed up with all my crap.”

“Don’t say that.” You run a finger over his lips. “I’ve known about your issues for the last three years, Buck. When we got married, I said ‘in sickness and in health,’ you remember that?”

He closes his eyes. “I just thought… I dunno. Must be my head gettin’ away from me again.”

“I’m never leaving.” You brush a lock of hair off his forehead. “This was just a rough spot. We’ll get through it, we always do.” 

He smiles and kisses you again. “How did I get so lucky to find a girl like you, hmm?”

Your cheeks flush hot. “Guess you were just in the right place at the right time.”

If you enjoyed this, reblogs and comments are much appreciated!

MARVEL TAGS: @acf2510 @beefcakebarnes​ @breezy1415​ @cosicas-cuquis​ @mariekoukie6661​ @meganwinchester1999​ 

MUTUAL TAGS (if you wanna get on my tag list or don’t want to be tagged please let me know): @suz-123​ @nacho-bucky​ 

[silhouetted-beauty]

“Therapy”

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 3,180

A/N: *sigh* My sweet Youngjae. I had a quick idea and I felt like he would fit this role just because I think he is good at hiding shit behind that adorable smile of his lol.

Two voices ricocheted off the walls of an empty room, yours and your coworker, Suzy. This was the norm for both of you during a break away from working. You would come into her office and chat with her but it was mostly to bounce ideas off each other but you both would end up discussing every topic under the sun. From work to what was happening on in the outside world.

“... yeah so long story short, my mother is coming to stay with me a couple weeks. That should be very interesting.” Suzy stated, tossing her hand up in a bored manner. “So, what’s been going on with you? How’s your future husband?”

You smiled. “I’m fine and he is doing okay. Just the usual stress in the office. He comes home very tense. I have to massage his back four times out of the week.”

You went on and talking about your fiancé and your life at home. So much so that you almost missed how Suzy was smirking at you. You knew Suzy and when she gave you that look, you knew she either had something sassy to say or something up her sleeve.

“What?”

“Oh nothing,” She shook her head before looking back at you. “Just last year when he proposed, you were scared and worried about marrying him. Now look at you. Already playing the doting wife. I knew all you needed was time. It won’t be long before the two of you are walking down the aisle.”

You smiled. “You think you know everything, huh?”

“Well I am being paid to help others so I have to know everything.” Suzy stated confidently. You on the other hand, thought it over before continuing the conversation.

“Well in that case, I want your advice on something.”

“Shoot.”

“I have a friend who has been married to her husband for five years. So far, everything is good between them and they don’t have any problems. She says that she is content with life and life with her husband. It’s beautiful, really. They seem like something out of a fairy tale. But, not all is what it seems. She has been seeing someone else on the side.”

“You mean she has a lover besides her husband?” Suzy questioned. You nodded.

“They have been seeing each other in secrecy for over a year and she isn’t the slightest bit regretful of her actions. It’s weird. She loves her husband yet she can’t seem to break away from her lover. To be honest with you, I don’t think she wants him to leave.”

Suzy clears her throat and shifting in her seat. When she realized that you were done talking, she spoke up.

“Wow. That is something. If the pair has been together for a year then how does the husband not know?” 

You shrugged your shoulders. “That’s a good question.”

“Perhaps he is cheating as well. Busy in his own sin that he fails to see his wife’s.”

“That is an interesting theory. I hadn’t really thought of that. From what I understand, the man is too busy to tend to his wife’s needs.”

“Oh yeah, he’s busy, all right. What about the lover? Doesn’t he know that eventually the relationship will come to an end? This is a dangerous game he is gambling with. I don’t see this ending nicely. If he was smart, he’d leave the woman. If she was smart, she’d end things with him and then ask her husband for forgiveness. But if she is not happy with her husband, then she needs to be honest and leave him. It’s not fair that she is playing with both hearts.”

“I thought the same thing but she didn’t want to leave neither. She grown attached to the foundation of her husband and the thrills her lover brings her.”

“Well then there is a deeper issue here with the woman as to why she needs to be with both men. What a sad love story. The unsuspecting husband, the cheating greedy wife, and the selfish naive lover. All riding on a train of dome filled with nothing but heartache.”

You swallowed hard, trying to relieve the dryness of your throat. The soft melody tune on your phone alerted you that it was now time to go. Your client would be arriving soon which meant you had to go back to your own office to meet them. You rose from your seat, letting out a small stretch and yawn in the process. You were tired from the lack of sleep and not only that, this was your last client for the day. You were ready to go home. 

“By the way if you see the woman again, give her my card. I’d love to help her get through this.”

You took the card and smiled. “I’ll make sure she gets it.”

Once you were back into your office, you plummeted down into your chair, letting out a long sigh. You tossed Suzy’s card on your desk and rubbed both hands down your face. It was you that was stressed and needed a massage. You made mental note to ask your fiancé when he came home to give you a rub over. The possibilities of where it could lead to filled your mind and you smiled to yourself. The voice from your intercom broke your thoughts.

“Ms. Y/l/n, your six-thirty appointment is here.” Straightening out your clothes to look presentable, you sat up in your seat. 

“Please send him in, the door is open.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

It wasn’t long before the door opened and in walked your client. 

“Good evening, Mr. Choi. How are you feeling today?” You put on a smile as you watched him take a seat in front of your desk. 

Youngjae smiled brightly as he made himself comfortable. “I’m doing well and yourself?”

“If I had to be honest, I’m pretty tired. It’s been a long day.”

“I bet.” He stated looking around until his eyes happen to fall on Suzy’s business card but before you could put it away, there was a knock at your door.

“I’m sorry, Youngjae. This will take a minute. Excuse me.”

You got up and went to your door, opening it. Waiting on the other side stood Suzy who walked right in without being invited. She immediately froze in place when she realized that you already had someone in your office.

“I’m terribly sorry for interrupting. I didn’t know he arrived already.” She turned to leave but addressed you before doing so. “I just had something to say about what we talked about earlier. Just give me a call when you leave.”

“Are you heading home?” You asked.

“Yeah,” Suzy then turned to Youngjae. “Nice to see you, Youngjae. I been wanting to tell you that you are so sweet to change your schedule and staying late with y/n.”

He smiled. “It’s no problem. It’s not like I had anything else important to do.”

Suzy nodded her head then left. Before closing the door, you made sure to slide the sign from “available” to “unavailable”. Turning around, you walked over to your desk and took a seat. 

“I apologize for that. Now, let’s get down to business. The last time you were here we were discussing the problems in your life-”

He nodded. “My problems... pressure from my family, competition among friends, my anxieties and self worth, anger, greed, and jealous.”

“... As well as the things you treasure.” You continued.

“Freedom, money, a job, my car and apartment, support system of loved ones, my physical health, being able to travel, and you.” When you looked up from your notepad only to find Youngjae’s eyes watching you intently. You swallowed hard, trying to focus on what you’re being paid to do. He picked up the card off your desk and scoffed. “For a second, I thought you fucked up and told Miss Suzy what you threatened you were going to do. But I had faith in you, y/n.”

You were in such a daze, hanging on to each word he said that you failed to notice him getting up to stand behind you. His hands rested on your shoulders as he leaned forward to whisper in your ear. 

“You are selfish and greedy, just like I am. I knew you weren’t going to expose us.” His lips found your neck as his hands gave your shoulders a soft squeeze. “Damn, y/n. And I thought I was stressed. But don’t worry, I have the perfect solution.”

Youngjae’s hand moved down the front of your chest and inside of your blouse. His warm palm grazed over your skin while his fingers eased down your bra to play with your nipple. Right away the bud hardened under his touch and all your movements came to a halt. Your pad and pen slipped from your hands and fell to the floor. Your hand came up, running your finger through his soft dark strains. Your hear leaned slightly, allowing him access to your skin. You moan at how rough he sucked and nibbled at your flesh.

“Remember not to leave any marks, baby.” You moaned. Youngjae nodded his head in agreement.

By now, you were rubbing your thighs together but he had stopped your movements. Using his other hand, he slowly teased your panty covered center. You ground back again his hand, enjoying the feeling more than you should have. You wanted to feel bad about your actions it you couldn’t, you were too deeply involved to stop. Youngjae knew what your body wanted and gave it just that every time he saw you. He gave your neck one nice lick before he pulled away. He stood and turned your chair around to face him. Pulling you to your feet, his lips locked with yours in a heated kiss. He sucked your tongue into his mouth while his hands tightly gripped your ass. You moaned into his mouth, roughly pulling his hair. 

Youngjae released your lips. “And to think you wanted to end us.” He smiled. You on the other hand were hit with a wave of guilt. You were soon to be a married woman. You had no business sleeping around behind your fiancé’s back.��

“What the hell did you expect, Youngjae?! I’m the professional! I should have never crossed that line with you especially since you are my patient. I am committing the biggest sin here!”

He smiled, leaning forward to breathe into your neck. “You say that like you already walked down the aisle. You’re not a married woman yet. You do this every month but you and I know you’re not going anywhere.”

Your face contorted in anger as you pushed him back and moved away. You walked to the door, ready to go to the bathroom to clear your mind but you were suddenly pushed up against the door. Youngjae turned you around to look you in the eyes. He sported the most serious face that you had ever seen him wear. 

“No matter what you say, y/n, I’m not leaving you alone. Whether you are married or not, I will always want my fix of you.” His lips tackled yours in a quick hot kiss. Right away you became turned on again, wanting him to fuck the shit out of you like he previously had been doing. “As my therapist, it’s your job to help me no matter what it takes. And a part of our agreement, it’s my job to give your body what it wants in return.” He broke away to look you in the eyes again.

“What will your fiancé say when he finds out the woman he loves is addicted to sex? He doesn’t seem like the type with the knowledge to help someone with a sex addiction but lucky for you, I do. You are always horny and ready for someone with a hard cock to stick inside you. Luckily I came along when I did.” He stated.

Before you could say anything, you were up in the air being carried over to your desk. Your mind was a bit hazy but your body was more than ready to accept what was in store for you. Youngjae was right, you were addicted to the ample amount of pleasure he gave. Your fiancé couldn’t handle you. He would make you cum once before turning over to sleep, meanwhile, you would sneak to the shower and cum multiple times until you were too sensitive to touch. While you were open experimenting in the bedroom, he wasn’t. His mind was more focused on work than anything and as his partner; you felt it was your job to make him more at ease.

Youngjae sat you down on the smooth surface of the desk while he stood in front of you. He kissed down your neck while his hands worked to unbutton your blouse. Once opened, the piece of fabric was removed from your body followed by your bra, skirt and panties. You sat there naked; tongue kissing Youngjae while he still remained fully clothed. He gently pushed you on your back as he took a seat in your chair. Your legs were spread wide, as they could go. Your back arched at the first lick and your hand immediately went to his head. Youngjae could feel your fingers firmly plant themselves into his scalp. He licked up and down your slit before moving back up and taking your clit in his mouth. His tongue flicked the hard bud while his mouth created suction. His hands went under your ass in an effort to lift your pussy to mouth. He went back to licking your slit, going further between your lips. You knew you were dripping from the slurping sounds and wet noise Youngjae made against you. You let out a long low groan when his tongue entered inside. Your eyes rolled closed as pan after moan slips from your lips. You relaxed against the warm surface, allowing him to take you on a ride of total bliss. 

Both you and Youngjae’s movements froze at the ringing of your office phone. You looked the direction of the device while Youngjae remained still with his mouth still pressed against your pussy, his tongue buried deep inside your hole. Eventually, it stopped ringing and your answering machine picked up.

“Hey honey, I know you’re busy with a client but I was wondering if you wanted to have a date night. It’s been awhile since we had one and I apologize that I am always busy at work. To show that I am sorry, I have a surprise for you when you get home then maybe we could...”

Your fiancé’s voice faded away when Youngjae began eating you out again. You could tell by the way he ate you that he was a bit annoyed. This was HIS time with you and he wanted all of your attention on him only. He only got to see you once a week for an hour and a half and he wanted to make the best of it. Your fiancé still continued talking; explaining what he had planned for the evening while you ground your hips against Youngjae’s mouth. Soon, your moans grew louder, overpowering your future husband’s voice. The thrill of doing something you know you shouldn’t be doing and the seriousness of the situation is what made this fantasy even forbidden. That initial feeling is what brought you to the edge of your orgasm but Youngjae wasn’t going to let you have all the fun. He pulled away right before you could cum, licking his lips proudly. While you caught your breath, he stripped out of his clothes. You sat up and gave him an evil glare.

“That wasn’t very nice, Mr. Choi. As your psychiatrist, I could put you on medication for your constant movements and the inability to complete tasks.” You sat up before getting off the desk to look up at him.

Youngjae chuckled before pulling you towards him. “As long as my prescription includes you.”

You kissed his lips, cleaning off your nectar before pushing him down into the chair. Instantly falling to your knees, you gripped his stiff manhood examining it before taking it in your mouth. Now it was his turn to tangle his hands in your hair. His head leaned back, his eyes closed, and his lips parted letting out small breaths of air. Your mouth practically swallowed him while your hand cupped and played with his nut sac. He groaned tightening his grip. Your mouth opened wide and your tongue came out to lick the underside of his cock. Unintentionally, his hips suddenly bucked upward to feel more but you ended up choking. His eyes shot open to meet your watery gaze. His hips created a stable rhythm as he continued to thrust into your mouth sliding deeper and deeper into your throat until he was fucking your breathing channel. Youngjae groaned louder when your hand tightened on his balls. He could feel the build up and so could you. You much as you enjoy the look of pleasure that painted his face, you weren’t planning on letting him cum. You moved your head back and removed your hand as well. Before he could protest, you straddled his legs, gripped his cock and sunk down onto him. He filled your body so deliciously that you lost your train of thought. Youngjae held your hips as you rocked back and forth. You head flew back as you released a loud moan of his name. Youngjae allowed you to fuck him in this position for a few more minutes before he picked you up and laid you down on the desk. His movements were rushed. It was already nightfall and his time was ticking away. He pounded away, watching your breast jump at each thrust. You held onto his hips pulling him closer to you. Youngjae leaned forward, covering your body with his own as he fucked you deeper and harder. Your lips found each other as your arms wrapped his neck. His pubic hair rubbed against your clit causing friction. Your legs wrapped around his waist to feel more. Youngjae ground back against you, feeling your center squeeze him. His rhythm increased and you could no longer focus on kissing. You broke away and cried out when your orgasm hit you hard. Youngjae wasn’t that far behind and emptied himself inside you. You both laid there, breathing into each other’s mouth trying to catch your breaths. 

He suddenly smiled, “This is why I can never leave you alone. I love you, y/n.”

You returned his smile. “I love you too, Youngjae.”

He lightly pecked your lips before laying his head on your chest as you slowly rubbed his back. He removed himself from inside you and you felt a bit sad but the thought of your fiancé’s hard cock waiting for you at home, made your pussy drip with excitement. 

~

©2017 Silhouetted_Beauty

[fadedtoblue]

My thoughts on The Punisher

Surprise, surprise -- I have (extremely scattershot) thoughts about The Punisher! 

The husband and I binged this over the past 3 days (2 episodes Thursday @ midnight, 5 episodes Friday night, and 6 episodes over Saturday) and given its unrelenting intensity I’m pretty sure there are a lot of details I’m not going to fully grasp until I watch this again, but overall impression -- super solid. I would still personally rank it under Daredevil (sorry, he’s always gonna be my number 1!!), but I think it jockeys for second position with Jessica Jones? This particular show did some things amazingly well that the others haven’t, I think largely due to the fact that it was a standalone series, separate from the Defenders, and didn’t need to mess around with rationalizing any superheroics or powers -- at its core, it’s an intense and violent 13-hour examination of Frank Castle, who incidentally exists in a world with superheroes. But anyway, let’s dive in -- it should go without saying that spoilers absolutely abound after the cut...

Let’s start with the good stuff:

Jon Bernthal as Frank. Listen, whether you loved or hated the show, it can’t be denied that Jon absolutely kills it as Frank. This show lives and dies on those fine as hell shoulders and he brings it in every stage of Frank we see on screen. I liked that they never shied away from all of the messy parts of him -- geez, when he’s holding a freaking knife to Zack’s neck...worst parental pep talk ever? Or when he’s genuinely encouraging Lewis to blow himself up. And the unflinching way he goes about his kills. But as you can imagine, it’s those moments when he loses his grip on his steely control, when he can’t rely on his rage to hold him together...those were my favorite ones. When he has those aching moments with Karen by the waterfront and in the elevator. When he realizes that Russo knew about the mission that would kill Maria and the kids. We know Frank does rage well but I’m glad we didn’t fully leave behind broken, grieving Frank either. 

Well-drawn side characters, especially those that had a direct relationship with Frank. As far as main character relationships go, Frank and Micro pretty much made it for me? They balanced each other so well and were such assholes...yet caring assholes lol. I don’t even think I could keep track of how many times I just burst out laughing during their scenes. Frank explicitly trying to fuck with him by visiting Sarah, Frank tying Micro naked to the chair (of course he would), Micro pushing Frank around in the chair (hee), any exchanges that had to do with food (lol the sandwich bit), the drunk shit-talking...I loved it all. Part of me hopes that David can just live a happy, quiet life with his family and not get pulled into this shit anymore but I’m sure that’s not happening...which makes me feel torn haha.

Frank and Karen were a highlight as well. It was definitely very measured amounts of interaction, but I felt like they didn’t waste a second of it. And the way it culminated was quite emotional, but earned. Like that amazing scene in the elevator with Karen, absolutely beat up and exhausted and nearly broken and the only thing keeping them standing in that moment is that unspoken thing between the two of them -- they want so much to lean into each other and just stop but they know they can’t. She knows he can’t. And her implicit support and encouragement for him to continue on was a really strong character beat. There’s no way they don’t see each other again in DDS3 as far as I’m concerned. 

After that, I did like what they did with his connections to Curtis and Billy, I definitely bought all of them as members of the same unit and connected by this unspoken code / brotherhood. I had issues with some of the background motivations which I’ll bring up later but...yeah, I was just like DAMN Frank actually has some really good friends! I’ll call out Billy briefly here, because shit, he was SO MESSED UP but I think they did a really good job evolving his position as Frank’s grieving brother in arms in the beginning of the series to someone who has gone crazy from losing everything he’s worked for and I’m already shivering a little to imagine the pain he’s going to lay at the feet of Frank Castle and characters like Dinah...ugh ugh ugh! But anyway, well done by Ben Barnes!

Considerate approach to examining grief, PTSD and veteran’s issues. Okay, I’m really not super knowledgeable about PTSD and veteran’s issues in general so I’m only speaking from my own limited opinion, but the way it was approached on this show felt...fresh? It was handled with respect -- mainly in showing how different people process and deal with that trauma differently...you could see that in Frank, Curtis, Billy, and Lewis -- but at the same time worked as an unflinching examination of how the system fails...so that part was really solid. At first I wasn’t entirely sure why we were spending so much time with Curtis and the support group and these slightly caricatured individuals but I think it paid off in the end. Lewis was a struggle for me at first but I ultimately think he was an extremely necessary story to tell because he does encapsulate all of the failures the show was trying to examine and I think Frank needed to confront someone like him over the course of this show. 

And the examination of grief. I’ll touch upon what they did with Sarah in this section because I think that’s basically the purpose she was meant to serve with Frank. I’m sure some people weren’t super thrilled with how much it got drawn out, but I don’t know, it really kind of worked for me? Obviously Frank makes first contact simply to freak Micro the fuck out (and it works), but at a certain point, it’s essentially forced into continued contact with Sarah and the kids and despite his best efforts, I think he starts to confront his own issues and demons regarding Maria and the kids through this connection with a woman who actually has a unique and powerful understanding of exactly what he’s going through. And these meetings are almost like therapy for him? I can’t imagine he’s ever had a safe space to process all of the ways he feels like he’s let his family down. And I think he is able to work through some of this by talking to Sarah, by connecting with the kids. This is really something Frank the character needed. As far as the romantic overtones? Undertones? I found it quite realistic actually. I liked that the show towed a grey area with it for a while, and if you think a single mother of two kids who is still intensely grieving the loss of her husband and her children’s father wouldn’t respond romantically to this man who keeps showing up and essentially fixing her life? I was super opposed to the idea of Frank kissing Sarah but I think the way they did it worked. They were very clear that it was a response borne out of her own struggles, and Frank makes it very clear to her and to Micro that this doesn’t mean anything to him. If you see how Sarah reacts to Micro in the last couple of episodes (damn it was a gutpunch) then you wouldn’t worry about what she thinks about Frank Castle! 

Episodic pacing + interesting storytelling devices. People usually gripe and grouse that Netflix shows have pacing issues but I felt like Punisher (even with my minor issues with plot and stuff) really kept me engaged through the entire run. None of the episodes felt like filler or stopped the story in its tracks (which has definitely happened on all of the other Marvel Netflix series). They also took some fun risks with storytelling structure, particularly in 1x05 (with the ambush on Gunnar’s property being mainly told via body cam) and 1x10 (with the time jumps / intercutting between various POV, both reliable and not) -- it was things like that which kept the show chugging along at an exciting pace.

The not so good?

Lackluster conspiracy plot / overall antagonist. So listen, I want to be clear that I liked Dinah Midani, so I hate that I’m talking about her in the context of the not so good stuff -- she injected a dynamic the show needed, which was a strong ass female character that doesn’t really need men for anything, and more specifically, doesn’t really need the “hero” of the show for anything either (except you know, a witness statement lol)! I loved the moments we had with her and Billy (even though, UGH BILLY!!! That washing her off in the tub scene gave me legit shivers and rage) and even the briefer moments we had between her and other characters, like Karen, her mom, even her boss Rafi. But she was also the driver of a conspiracy plot that to me, kind of missed the mark. I liked that they took those threads from DDS2 and tried to build them into a larger, more wide reaching governmental conspiracy in TPS1 but...I don’t know, it just never felt like it was realized enough, and the characters more prominent in that plot never felt more than just one-dimensional means to an end (also it didn’t feel realistic that it was basically just two people doing shit in Homeland Security on any case at given time). Her motivation worked but every time they showed her smarts and intelligence and dedication to her job, they would undercut it a bit by making her less than capable in the field, always making questionable decisions and getting her people killed. Overall, it was one of those, works on paper, doesn’t work in execution kind of storylines. 

And tying this conspiracy plot that never quite worked to the lack of a strong, overall antagonist -- I don’t think it’s something a regular show would have needed, but as a comic book adaptation (particularly a Marvel Netflix one), I was expecting a bit more. Rawlins was literally never a convincing antagonist -- his inclusion felt like a necessity on the conspiracy side, but he didn’t play off Frank in any convincing way. He was a blowhard and an asshole, not really a bad guy. That misogynist asshole Wolfe had more convincing presence to me in the small number of episodes he featured in than Rawlins tbh. As for Russo, he was obviously a much stronger foil to Frank (and a compelling secondary foil to Dinah as the female lead) but since the story was actively building him up to become the villain next season, he didn’t really tick the right antagonist boxes for me this time around either. I also didn’t like how his motivations felt really muddled a lot of the time, I liked that we kept switching back and forth from oh wait Billy is a good guy, oh no, Billy is an epic piece of shit, but I would have appreciated more clarity on why he made the choices he made and why that would justify such an epic betrayal of his brother.  

Heavyhanded approach to certain side issues. As well done as the grief and PTSD storylines were, most of the gun control related side plots just didn’t really work for me. I understood why they included it -- you can’t make a show like the Punisher in this current day and age without addressing the elephant in the room -- but it just felt really clunky. I guess at the very least they made the characters symbolizing both sides of the debate equally clunky? Hypocrite senator was about as annoying as NRA blowhard guy (though he certainly didn’t deserve to meet that end, RIP NRA blowhard guy). I guess I just feel torn because I have a very strong stance on this IRL but I almost feel as if I would have rather they not included it in this show if it wasn’t going to be handled with care. I’ve accepted that the Punisher and really any sort of violence driven show created for entertainment (which is...so much of our programming nowadays) can’t always be a grand statement regarding societal ills. Sometimes they just are what they are. But at least in the case of the Punisher, it didn’t feel like the violence was meant to be glorified or cheered on (I didn’t anyway) or viewed as some sort of heightened violence fantasy. It was brutal and unsettling. Anyway, all of this to say that I clearly don’t quite know about I feel about it since this was such a damn rambly paragraph lol. 

Storytelling issues + plot holes. So while I’ve said that the biggest positive the show had to offer was the lack of reliance on an expected superhero formula, I think this made me struggle a bit more than usual with being able to suspend my disbelief about certain goings-ons in-show...like, the moment Frank shaves off his hobo hipster beard, how does NO ONE RECOGNIZE THE DUDE FROM LAST YEAR’S TRIAL OF THE CENTURY?? (Though I legit enjoyed the hilariously awkward silence of the Lieberman family watching the TV and being like WTF) And how does Frank literally get shot / stabbed / tortured in every other episode but manage to bounce back in a day so he could do more Punishing. Even Matt couldn’t recover that quickly if he tried! Like I don’t know, I would have liked to see Frank wearing more body armor or protecting his head or SOMETHING. And as delightfully fanservice-y the Turk cameo was, no way Frank Castle wouldn’t end him without a second thought. Of course, these are such nitpicks but they did take me out of it every so often. 

So as you can see, for me there were more positives than negatives. Everything that I saw makes me extremely excited to see Frank’s Punisher in the Marvel Netflix universe again. I thought they told a very self contained story here and hit nearly all of the beats that you could want in this particular adaptation. I wouldn’t have expected them to leave it so open ended at the end but in retrospect it was a bold choice and I think one that is very considerate of this version of Frank Castle that we know. As someone who doesn’t have the emotional attachment to him via comics, I’m somewhat glad we didn’t just end this show with him as full on Punisher. I think there are more stories to explore before we get there. I also 100% expect him to reappear in DDS3 at this point and I’m super curious about where he goes in TPS2. I feel by that point, they’ll need to lean into the more comic book-y elements and it’ll be interesting to see how they handle that tonal shift. 

[randomrichards]

MOVIES (THAT MIGHT BE) WORTH CHECKING OUT IN JANUARY 2020:

January 3:

THE GRUDGE

We begin with an attempted reboot of the hit horror flick based on another hit horror film.

Based on the Japanese import Ju-On, the film centres around a curse born from a fit of anger that attacks anyone who dares to enter a house. The pale boy ghost and the contorted woman became instantly iconic, especially when they made that crackling sound. Of course, people in North America are more likely to recognize its remake The Grudge. While not on the same level as its predecessor, the American was still a hit. It has become so iconic that there was a crossover movie where it faces off against the ghost from Ringu.

This time, the target is Peter Spencer (John Cho), a real estate agent who intended to sell a house not realizing it contained the title curse. Believing a homicide occurred, Spencer calls on Detective Muldoon (Andrea Risborough) to investigate. But they fail to realize the curse inside dooms all who enter it with a violent and it’s coming for them.

Here’s another of a long list of Horror remakes Hollywood has been peddling in the last decade. For every good one (It, Child’s Play), there are three times as many failures (the recent ones being Pet Semetary and Black Christmas). I’m not having much hope for this one. It can still be good, but it needs a director with as creative a vision as Takashi Shimizu’s.

THREE CHRISTS

Based on The Three Christs of Ypsilanti by Milton Rokeach, Three Christs tells the real-life experiment involving three men who claim to be a certain savior.

In Michigan’s Ypsilanti State Hospital in 1959, Dr. Alan Stone (Richard Gere) conducts a revolutionary experiment where he brings together three men (Peter Dinklage, Walton Goggins and Bradley Whitford) who each claim to be Jesus Christ. He hopes to use this experiment to force them to confront their delusions. It would certainly be preferable to electroshock therapy.

A real-life story like this comes with a lot of potential. But with the director of Fried Green Tomatoes helming this project, it looks like this will be a typical biopic. This is a shame with 4 great actors working together.

January 10:

1917

Sam Mendes, the director of American Beauty and Skyfall, takes us back to World War One and hopes to enter the Oscar Race with his latest war movie 1917.

Generla Erinmore (Colin Firth) tasks young British soldiers Blake (Dean-Charles Chapman) and Schofield (George MacKay) with a difficult mission. 1,600 of their fellow soldiers are heading into a fatal trap and the two soldiers must deliver a message calling off the raid before tomorrow morning. And one of them is Blake’s brother. Racing against time, Blake and Schofield are forced to rush through enemy territory to deliver the message on time. Benedict Cumberbatch also

The film is already garnering high praise for its gripping suspense and graceful camera. It’s already garnering nominations at the Golden Globe Awards for Best Dramatic Motion Picture, Best Director and Best Original Score. It’s especially getting praise is how it makes the film look like one long camera shot following the two leads through their mission.

CHHAPAAK

All the way from India is a film inspired by real life acid attack survivor Laxmi Agarwal.

This film looks at Malti (Deepika Padukone), a woman horribly scared after an acid attack. The film follows her through her physical treatment and eventual trial. It looks like the core of the film will be her journey of emotional healing, regaining her self-worth with the help of loved ones.

Unless you know films that show Bollywood movies, I suspect this film will be hard to find for many people. Kind of a shame

JUST MERCY

Writer/Director Destin Daniel Cretton (Short Term 12) brings ups the real-life story of a lawyer who battled systemic racism to free an innocent man.

Harvard graduate Bryan Stevenson (Michael B. Jordan) heads to 1980s Alabama to assist advocate Eva Ansley (Brie Larson) to defend those wrongfully convicted. His first and most important case is Walter McMillian (Jamie Foxx), who was sentenced to death for the notorious murder of an 18-year-old girl despite evidence proving his innocence including a group of people who could vouch for him.

As Stevenson works prove McMillian’s innocence and those of other death row inmates, he faces up against an uncaring political maneuvers and systemic racism.  But neither he nor Ansley will let this stop them.

Audiences love and underdog story and this one is sure to satisfy, especially with Jordan, Larson and Foxx starring in the film. It’s also sure to offer some catharsis for those frustrated with current systemic racism. But this could by a typical biopic forgotten by the end of the year.

January 17:

BAD BOYS FOR LIFE

I’m going to be brief because I don’t think we’re going to get anything special from this movie. This film is pretty much a checkmark of every plot element you see in every Buddy Cop movie. Cop considering retiring. Check. One last job? Check. Training arrogant young upstarts? Check. A forever disapproving superior throwing a tantrum of our heroes. Check. It doesn’t matter how flashy the trailer is, a cliché is a cliché.

But then again, the original two film were also piling of buddy cop clichés. The only thing they had going for them was Will Smith’s charisma and Martin Lawrence’s over the top delivery. Only the second movie was memorable thanks to some well shot, over the top action scenes. But I highly doubt this one will be memorable when Michael Bay has backed out of the film.

We don’t really need another Bad Boys movie, especially when we have the Fast and Furious series and the John Wick movies.

DOLITTLE

The famous physician who can talk to animals returns in a new reboot. This time the Doc is played by Robert Downey Jr, fresh from retiring his iconic role of Tony Stark after 10 years. It also looks like it will be going back to its roots as a fantasy story set in the Victorian era. There’s not much plot summary to go on, but judging by the trailer, it will have him setting sail on an adventure alongside his animal friends. At the core of the film seems to be his friendship with two kills. Also, among the cast are Jessie Buckley as Queen Victoria and Antonio Banderas as a pirate.

There is an all-star cast voicing the animals, including Tom Holland, Emma Thompson, Ralph Fiennes and Rami Malek just to name a few.

This film seems to rest its shoulders on Robert Downey Jr, hoping his charm will do for Dr. Doolittle what he did for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. But the film lives and dies on writer/director Stephen Gaghan, who is an unusual choice for a family fantasy considering that his resume consists of gritty war movies like Syriana, Traffic and Rules Engagement and crime drama tv shows like The Practice and NYPD Blue. He’s even written for the video game Call of Duty: Ghosts. It’s strange that someone with this resume would be chosen to reboot this franchise. It’s especially risky considering the original attempts to adapt Hugh Lofting books for the big screen. But if Martin Scorsese can make Hugo, there’s a chance Gaghan can make Dolittle work

The first one was a musical that tried to bank on the Sound of Music’s success but was an epic flop. It didn’t help that lead actor Rex Harrison was a notoriously difficult drunk who couldn’t sing. In fact, his behind the scenes shenanigans were way more interesting than the actual movie as proved by Mark Harris’ non-fiction book Pictures at a Revolution. Decades later, 20th Century Fox reboots the franchise was a hit thanks to Eddie Murphy as the title character and a variety of comedic voice actors (especially Albert Brooks, Chris Rock and Norm McDonald) voices the animals. No matter the quality, there’s a weight of nostalgia for both movies with many people growing up with these movies. This film will face the challenge of pushing past the nostalgia.

WEATHERING WITH YOU

From beloved anime writer/director Makoto Shinkai comes another romantic fantasy about two teens.

Teenage boy Hodoka (voiced by Kotaro Daigo) runs away from his isolated island home for Tokyo. Homeless and desperate, Hodoka takes a job as an assistant for journalist Keisuke Suga (Sun Oguri). His job involves finding “The Sunshine Girl”, a local teen girl who can control the weather. He soon finds her in Hina Amano (Nana Mori), a cheerful teen girl living with her brother. He is in awe with her power when she freezes the rain and love soon sparks. But messing with nature comes with a price and soon Hodoka and Hina are fighting to stay together.

Of all the movies on this list, this is the one I’m most excited to see. Once I saw his recent his Your Name, I was in pure awe. Never has a sunset looked more beautiful than in Shinkai’s anime. Every environment in Shinkai’s films enchant you with their vibrant colours and stunning details. Just as beautiful are his fantastical stories of young people growing up. At the core of each story is teens in love kept apart by unusual circumstances, whether it’s distance or time or even being in each other ‘s bodies.

This film’s already a major hit in Japan, which is very encouraging for anime fans.

January 24:

COLOR OUT OF SPACE

And now for something a little weird.

Nathan Gardner (Nicholas Cage) has moved his family to a remote farm to escape city life and live a life of peace and quiet. Then God was like “LOL No!” and sends an asteroid down their way. Then weird shit starts happening, most with colours mutating everything.

With a crew like this, you know you’re getting into some crazy shit. First, the film is based on a short story by H.P. Lovecraft, the inventor of cosmic horror and the man who gave us Cthulhu. Then there’s co-writer/director Richard Stanley, known for his odd genre flicks including Hardware and Dust Devil.[i] And then there’s Nicholas Cage, whose as well known for his scenery chewing Kabuki acting as his acclaimed Oscar-nominated roles. Last year, writer/director Panos Cosmatos found perfect use of Cage’s Kabuki acting in the ultra-stylized revenge masterpiece Mandy. Let’s be honest, the only types of films Cage’s Kabuki acting can work are either stylized, unintentionally hilarious or tongue-in-cheek. With the producers of Mandy working on this film, there’s high hopes it will be deliver on the stylized goods.

THE GENTLEMEN

After remaking Aladdin (and making lots of money in the process), director/writer Guy Ritchie returns to his roots with his latest English crime comedy The Gentlemen.

From what I can gather, the films about an American Pot Dealer (Matthew McConaughey) who plans to sell off his Empire in London when a young gang led by Dry Eye (Henry Golding) starts a drug war. There’s not much plot to go on, but with a Guy Ritchie movie, the plot will be way too complicated to explain. What is guaranteed is that there will be lots of oddball gangsters with weird names, hilarious and gruesome deaths and shit blowing up.

The film features an all-star cast including Charlie Hunnam, Colin Farrell and Hugh Grant continuing his streak of getting his groove back by playing against type.

So far, Ritchie hasn’t made a film that’s reached the same level as Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels or Snatch. For the most part, he has been unsuccessful stepping out of his comfort zone. Here’s hoping The Gentleman will bring his back on his A Game.

THE TURNING

This day concludes with a modern take of Henry James’ classic novella The Turn of the Screw.

Kate (Mackenzie Davis) is hired as a governess for care for her boss’s orphaned niece Flora (Brooklyn Prince) and nephew Miles (Finn Wolfhard). But as she cares for them in a secluded mansion, she comes to realize they are being haunted by hostile spirits. Can she protect them for what lies in the mansion?

The film has been remade multiple times, with the most acclaimed one being the 1961 classic The Innocents. This once changes it up by setting it in current times, with a notable scene of Miles creeping Kate out with drums. The film also gives some Conjuring vibes, especially with its cinematography. But it should be noted that similarity doesn’t equal copying and there could be some unique elements in this film.

There certainly is a good chance with director Floria Sigismondi will offer a unique vision. She has already directed episodes of stylized shows like The Handmaid’s Tale, Daredevil and American Gods, but she’s already well known for her stylized directing from her work in music videos. Since Marilyn Manson’s “The Beautiful People”, dilating, jittery camera work has become her trademark, working alongside artists including David Bowie, Bjork, Christina Aguilera, Katy Perry and Justin Timberlake (just to name a few).

January 27:

BEANPOLE

Here’s the film Russia hopes will be nominated for Best Foreign Language film.

Set in Leningrad in 1945, Beanpole centres on Masha (Vasilisa Perelygina) and Iya (Viktoria Miroshnichenko) struggling to trying to rebuild their lives in the ruins of a city demolished by war. At the core of film is the infertile Masha hiring Iya as a surrogate mother.

There’s not much go on, but with the film winning Best Director at the Cannes Film Festival, there’s good prospects for this film. It seems to be a character drama like Roma. Here’s hoping this film’s as quietly engaging as Alfonso Cuaron’s masterpiece.

January 31

THE TRAITOR

We conclude this with an Italian biopic about Tommaso Buscetta, the first Mafia Informant in 1980’s Sicily.

Tommaso (Pierfrancesco Favino) was a member of the Cosa Nostra. Then in 1983, half of his family is killed in a gang war. Now he intends to make them pay using the arm of the law. He knows the mob will do whatever it takes to stop him, but he’s more determined than ever. But as the trials continue, Tommaso will show the rabbit hole goes deeper than the law expected with political figures in the mafia’s pockets.

This is another film that may fall by the wayside, which is a shame because this film seems like a great biopic. It could certainly give overdue attention for director/co-writer Marco Bellocchio, who has remained a criminally overlooked director despite making acclaimed movies since the 1960s.

[i] And being fired from the Brando version of Island of Dr. Monroe.