#especially knowing the impact f(x) had (and still has) on kpop

[lenteur]

i'm sorry but any time i go on krystal's ig page, i get instant regret. the number of people i've seen pressure her into releasing music is unbelievable.

[btsqualityy]

Wedding Series Q&A #2

Yoongi x Reader

How long have you been together?

“Uh, eight years,” Yoongi answered. “Almost nine now.”

How did the two of you meet?

“We met at a nightclub,” you chuckled. 

What were your first impressions of each other when you met?

“I thought he was cute, maybe a little creepy because he was making eyes at me from across the club without approaching me,” you teased, making Yoongi roll his eyes playfully.

“I was nervous, ok?” He pouted. “My first impression of her was that she was so confident in herself, dancing around the club without a care in the world and I liked that about her.”

Did the two of you have an instant attraction to each other?

“Yeah,” you both answered at the same time. 

“The sex we had that night only solidified it,” you added with a laugh.

What was our first date?

“Our first date was actually in my studio,” Yoongi grimaced. “I was getting ready for our album at the time and I had been cooped up in the studio trying to write.”

“He had been promising to take me out but I realized that he wasn’t going to leave the studio so I went to him,” you smiled. 

“She brought me ramen and soju and we had a little picnic there,” Yoongi said.

Who said ‘I love you’ first?

“I did,” Yoongi revealed.

Do the two of you regret moving so fast in your relationship or getting engaged after only being together for a year? 

“No, I like the way that it happened,” you nodded. “Even though it may seem “fast” by conventional standards, the way that our relationship progressed was completely natural.”

“Yeah, and why should we waste two to three years bullshitting around when we know that we want to be together?” Yoongi added with a shrug.

Yoongi, have you ever told Y/N that you told Jungkook to smear cake on her face at their wedding? 

“What?” You exclaimed, looking over at him with a glare. “You told him to do that?”

“A seven year secret and here you guys’ go exposing me,” Yoongi groaned.

“Do you know what I did to him when I caught him for that?” You wondered with a scoff. “Now I feel bad.”

What song did you choose for your first dance and why? 

“We chose ‘All of Me’ by John Legend,” Yoongi said. “It just described our relationship and how we grew together.”

What aspects of your life have stayed the same and what has changed since getting married?

“I think we had to learn how to be husband and wife,” you said. “When we were only dating and engaged, it wasn’t that big of a deal if we didn’t see each other for a few days or if we had an argument, we could just take our space for a while. Being married though, you can’t do that,” you shrugged. “We had to make a bigger space for each other in our lives’ and learn how to handle each other 24/7.”

What are some of your favorite things to do at home as a family?

“I honestly love taking naps with her and Kinsley,” Yoongi admitted. “It’s just something about knowing that both of my girls are with me and safe that makes me feel better.”

“This isn’t necessarily at home but mine would have to be when he has me and Kinsley come to the studio to listen to his new stuff,” you said.

What was the lowest point in your relationship?

“I don’t think we’ve ever had one specific instance of feeling low in our relationship,” you murmured.

“Yeah. Whenever we have arguments, they usually get pretty bad so that can make you feel pretty low,” Yoongi added with a shrug.

What has been the impact of Yoongi’s celebrity on your relationship? Like did Y/N hate it at first, have a hard time adjusting etc?

“It wasn’t bad at first because our relationship wasn’t common knowledge until we got engaged,” you revealed. “And when it did become public knowledge, I just ignored the fans and comments for the most part.”

“Yeah, I’ve been lucky in the fact that she handles it extremely well,” Yoongi smiled.

“Well, I have no choice,” you chuckled. “I fell in love with you for you, not for who you are in the Kpop realm.”‘

What do you argue about the most?

“How much time I spend working,”‘ he groaned.

“We fight about it because even though I know it’s his passion, Kinsley is getting older and she notices that he’s not home much these days,” you explained. “It’s getting harder to explain it to her.”

Any arguments about who's last name to take? Were either of you adamant about taking or not taking the other’s last name?

“He wasn’t adamant about it or anything but I wanted to,” you stated.

Have the two of you ever fallen out of love? How do you work on your relationship after having Kinsley? 

“There are times when it can feel like we have, especially after we get into an argument,” Yoongi sighed. “But those are the times when you just need to take a step back and give yourself time to breathe and I always come back to my senses after that.”

“As for working on our relationship, we really try and make it a point to talk honestly with each other, which is ironic because that’s what leads to half of our arguments,” you laughed, making Yoongi do the same. “But we’re in love, we’re married, and we have a kid together so we feel like there shouldn’t be anything that we can’t talk to each other about.”

“It’s not always easy to do,” Yoongi interjected. “But it’s worth it in the end.”

Who needs more alone time between the two of you and what do you do in that time? 

“I do,” Yoongi chuckled. “Big surprise right? But I usually like to just sleep or go to the studio or go out to eat by myself. Just things that allow me to be alone for a while and recharge.”

In what ways are you two alike? In what ways are you different?

“We both have no problems with saying what’s on our minds,” you muttered.

“For differences, she’s definitely more open to trying new things than I am,” Yoongi admitted.

Since couples become alike after some time, what habits of each other have you picked up during your relationship?

“I swear to you, I sleep in later and later in the mornings the longer that we’re together,” you laughed. 

“That’s not my influence, that’s Kins tiring us out after taking care of her all day,” Yoongi pointed out, making you laugh and nod in agreement. “For me, I have this thing with lighting candles around the house now because Y/N does it all the time. I even do it when she’s not home.”

How often do the two of you have sex?

“It depends on how busy we both are, but it’s usually at least 4 times a week,” Yoongi said.

What method of contraception do the two of you use?

“I’m currently on the pill,” you answered.

What do you like the most about each other?   

“I love how she takes care of me and Kinsley,” Yoongi nodded. “She always seems to somehow know exactly what we want and need.”

“I love how silently strong he is,” you replied. “I like the fact that he isn’t overbearing with how he shows his love for me but he still has his own ways of letting me know.”

What has been the most special or memorable moment in your relationship? 

“For me, it’s when he proposed to me,” you grinned. “It was just so Yoongi and so us, I love how organic it was.”

“Mine would have to be Kinsley’s first birthday,” Yoongi nodded. “The look on Y/N’s face when the clock turned to 9:56am, which the time that Kinsley was born, you could tell how much she loves Kinsley and how much she cherishes her and I love that.”

How did you know that Y/N was the one? And vice versa?

“I knew that Y/N was the one when she came and had our first date with me in my studio,” Yoongi revealed, looking over at you with a little smirk on his lips. “That did it for me.”

“Really?” You asked and Yoongi nodded in response. “Well, for me, I knew the first time that he told me that he loved me. He was so nervous, I could tell, and he rambles when he’s nervous and it just made me feel so special that he bared his soul to me the way that he did. I knew then and there that he was the man that I wanted to be with,” you said, grabbing his hand in yours and intertwining your fingers with his.

“Lucky me,” Yoongi teased, making you giggle.

“No, I’m the lucky one Yoongs,” you assured.

[stoopsbookstore]

i'm so hurt by this....tbh i've been mildy distant from kpop for school and i haven't kept up with f(x) in a while but f(x) and shinee were both two of the first groups i loved so dearly and was obsessed with back then and so this news coming somehow makes me feel like i neglected like i wish i'd kept up with them more and left her nice comments i wish she didn't feel the need to do that...why am I so sad about someone I didn't even personally know

I had an assignment last semester in my public speaking class.

We had to pick someone who made an impact on our life.

I chose Jonghyun.

I didn't know him personally, but I chose him because he made such a huge impact on my life because he talked about the struggles he had about living with a mental illness.

I've tries taking my life twice, I was in the hospital for a total of 19 days. I found out about K-Pop and saw translations of his radio show and thought "wow... people like him, huge stars deal with what I do. Maybe I shouldn't be ashamed of living with anxiety and depression."

Why am I telling you this story about me?

Because even though I didn't know him, I felt a connection with him because of what he talked about.

Yes, we have never met these idols, but they make such a huge impact on our lives because we can relate to them. And people can kiss my ass with the whole "we don't see how they really are, it's all fabricated." We have people we connect with and that's all that matters.

Don't feel bad about being distant from k-pop, shit happens, we grow up and sometimes that means we grow out of interests.

Don't look back at what you could've done, look forward to what you can do.

Send some thoughts to SM (yes SM could've helped more, but the fuckheads bombing her Instagram and social media were the main fucking culprits) artists, especially Taeyeon, Yeri, the other F(x) girls and SHINee, especially to IU. Take care of yourself. Like I've said, I promise this will all still be here, k-pop will still be here, the music will still be here.

Don't participate in any trolls, they're just looking for reactions from k-pop stans to say "hey, look! We knew they're all fucking crazy!" If you see anyone pulling that "lol UWU if only she stanned/streamed/voted for ATEEZ/EVERGLOW/BTS/BlackPink/TWICE/Dreamcatcher" or any of those fucking fancams, report them and block them, even if you love their blog/twitter, that's disgusting behavior.

My ask is always open, if you ever need words of encouragement or just need to rant, maybe you had a shitty customer at work, you have writing's block, or hell, if you just want to fanperson because your bias just posted a cute photo, go for it, that's what it's there for.

Again, if you see any sort of deplorable behavior, if you see anything that disgusts you, if you see anyone posting fancams or memes, if you see anyone acting a fool, report them, do not interact with them because that is what they want. We can make sure those people face the consequences of their words and see that just because they're behind a screen, they're not invincible.

As for things to do to calm down, distract yourself, clean your room, play that gamd you've been wanting to play, go for a walk, write that drabble you've been putting of, listen to piano/music box versions of your favorite songs, organize your bookmarks or pinterest boards, hell, fucking start a pinterest, do a DIY project, watch some YouTube videos, personally I recommend Try Guys, Game Grumps, DYKGaming, Jirad the Completionist, Nyma Tang, SimplyNailogical, Threadbanger, I'd suggest Dead Meat, but that's a horror movie channel and I think we all need lighthearted material right now.

Take care of yourself, run yourself a bath, take a shower, if you need to scream, scream into a pillow or a jar, if you haven't eaten, please eat at least some toast or crackers, Walmart has Austin's 8-count 4-pack for 92 cents. DRINK WATER PLEASE! Hydration is so fucking important if you've been crying.

This will be a difficult few months, but I believe in all of us.

[gocchisama]

Thoughts on the love ban rule (恋愛禁止条例)

In her recent Radio program, Koike Minami from Keyakizaka46 mentioned a paper adressed to all members, officially banning any relationship during their idol activity. It is also known as the Renai Kinshi Jourei, the love ban rule. To allow or forbid this rule have teared apart the fandom for many years, and the ambiguous stand of Akimoto Yasushi (stating there wasn’t such thing as love ban rule) doesn’t help to clear things up. But the issue regarding this rule goes beyond it’s own existence. This is an eternal debate between those who argue we can’t own idols as they are humans with feelings, against those who think it is necessary to preserve their image. To sum things up, what we debate for is our conception of an idol. Through this write up, i will attempt to list all legit arguments from both side so you can make your own opinion on that matter.

“Sasshi scandal was the most talked topic at the time, even more than Acchan graduation”

First, a little bit of history. The love ban rule is much more older than AKB itself. In 1997, Nakazawa Yuko, leader of Morning musume at the time, stated that in their contract, they were forbid to have boyfriend or marry. Ten years later, Kashiwagi Yuki expressed the same statement, that they had to sign a paper in which they pledge to not be in a relationship. What is the purpose of the love ban rule? Simply speaking, it helps the idea of an idol “pure and innocent”, completely devoted to the fans. Management is afraid that the fan significantly decrease his dedication to buy goods and ticket to see his favourite member if she’s in a relationship.

But Let’s take an example of other pop culture. Justin Bieber is a singer, with 99.9% of female fanbase. He works a lot on his image, yet he dated many other celebrities like Selena Gomez. He’s directly concerned with appearance, but his staff allow him to date. In the super strict Kpop industry, even though entertainment companies are very discrete about it, they often acknowledge a relationship when they are revealed, and not opposing them (Exo Kai and F(x) Crystal for example). The question is, why is it allowed in Occidental and Oriental countries like USA and Korea and not in japan? Especially the case of idols.

1st hypothesis, It’s about culture. USA have build their civilization on freedom, and it’s quite hard to “forbid” someone to love, especially someone as popular as Justin bieber. Management strategy to keep hardcore fans would backfire at them, being blamed for pressuring the artist. In Kpop It might depend of the age and experience of the artist. When management knows the artist fanbase is mature enough to accept, they lift the ban. But if the trainee has just debuted with the group, it’s better to not create unnecessary waves that would be an hindrance to the group promotion. Japan has a huge history of hierarchy between genre, family often assimilated with a father who work, and a mother who stay at home to raise the children. Sexism is still rooted in society as it is largely accepted to have gravure photoshoot of idols (often very young), but also promote the girls as cute and innocent. Unconsciously, Japan paradoxal society still allow to reduce a woman basic right in order to preserve a certain idea of what an idol should be.

2st hypothesis, we can say it’s the fan fault for being unrealistic about the concept of an idol. Before being an idol, she is an human being. You can’t mix up reasoning with feelings, as one is led by the brain, the other by the heart. Also, if the idol you support is being happy with someone else, shouldn’t you be happy for her own happiness? It’s not like you’re being her fan in order to date her in the future. You can also be a fan of someone without being physically attracted to her. Like many hardcore metal teenagers adoring metallica. A fan’s love, is different. Something more personal, but loving someone as a 17 years is different from loving at 26, and 40, etc. A teenager should live to the fullest.

“Minegishi scandal blow out to international proportion, wrongly the symbol of Japanese excess”

Not long ago, a company sued a girl for “breach of contract” blaming her for her idol group failure in the market, because she was dating one of her fans. The young girl retorted that i was never mentioned she couldn’t date anyone, even though it was “professionaly” obvious to avoid this situation. The result of the court was that indeed the girl was wrong for not taking into account that it would hurt the group image, but since she dated her boyfriend without the intent to harm the company, she was exempt to pay fee for the prejudice caused.

There’s a big difference between european and asian culture. The first is a lot about freedom (artist love life is his privacy) but asian point of view is about responsability. Japanese are often serious in their work (sometimes they die from it). Even though you have the freedom to come with T-shirt and jeans, you have the responsability to look decent for an interview, which means wearing a suit. Otherwise we don’t take you seriously. In entertainment, you shouldn’t behave in a way that would be a threat to your company or group image. But this rule can’t be applied to everyone because each person has a different situation.

Let’s take the example of Watanabe Mayu. She became very popular, very fast, in a young age. Not only we can assume she didn’t have a lot of free time, but having a relationship exposed would have create an uproar on tabloid. She was very serious about her image because she was aware an incident would break her momemtum. On the other hand, when you’re unknown, like a KKS, it hasn’t the same impact at all, and you have much more free time than a popular member. (and probably the reason why Sasshi’s scandal was exposed only when she became popular).

The problem with micchan scandal, is that not only she was a popular member, but also the captain of a team. What foreigners don’t know, is that in japanese culture, people often shave their head after admitting being in the wrong. Micchan obviously shaved her head on her own will. But foreign newspaper, with little care of details, implied it was a sanction done by management (the video was published on AKB official youtube channel after all). The malicious gossip spread and it was a huge blow to idol entertainment. It doesn’t matter what was the real reason, and the damage was done.

“Shunkan bunshun is often involved in many scandals related to idols”

In fact, it isn’t really about the fan behavior toward her idol that define the existence of the love ban rule. In the case of Kashiwagi Yuki scandal with NEWS’s Tegoshi, it was up to her fanbase to decide if they keep following her or not. In the case of Matsumura Sayuri scandal (above), it turned out more bitter because Nogizaka has a strong image of elegant, calm idols compared to the 48group. Image is not only related to fan, as big companies (a potential source of revenue for popular idol group), won’t choose girls who are involved in a negative image to endorse their products. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, it’s how those scandal divert from the expected result. Do you remember when Kouhaku utagassen chose HKT instead of Nogizaka in 2014? We will never know, but it’s possible that Nogi appearance was cancelled because of this negative coverage.

Why is management not willing to make a decision, always being ambiguous about it? Because both choice have a negative impact. If you make the love ban rule official, you are seen as a bad company who suppress a girl basic right, and if you officially allow the girls to date, there’s no turning back, and fan’s reaction is unsure. The best alternative is “not to get caught” or “adapt to the situation” rule. In Yukirin’s case, management decided to let it through, because she was too important to the group. Same with Sasshi. We can’t say the same for Murashige Anna, who got almost perma-ban from HKT senbatsu, or Owada Nana and Nishino Miki who soon graduated after being seen at 2AM in a game court with some ex Johnny’s (again).

The love ban rule can be seen as something not coming from fans to their idol, but a rule of self discipline (coming from within), like how you are committed to your work. When you date someone perfectly aware of a bad coverage, you’re taking a risk. This self discipline increase as you became popular. When someone try to get best of both worlds, it can be seen as recklessness toward your job. After all, Kikuchi Ayaka or Komori Mika graduated AKB to get married. When someone get outside of the idol field, fans are much more keen to be happy for their idol happiness. Because they are past their idol phase. Jurina once said “i will date after being an idol. But for the moment, i want to focus on my work”.

“Yukirin votes dropped up to 70 000 votes for the 8th Sousenkyo. Note that 7th Sousenkyo was her fanbase last push to put her 1th, with a 60k increase too ”

To the question if the love ban rule is something fair or unfair, it’s hard to decide because feelings are involved with it. I personally hadn’t my oshimen being involved in a scandal, so i don’t know how i would react. However, what i believe is, for japanese, that the renai kinshi jourei is a self inflicted rule. It just depends on how serious you are toward the job of idol. If you don’t accept to have your love life put on hold, just don’t be an idol. It’s even more true that an idol not only care for her image, but is also responsible for the group image. When people quote Sasshi’s case that scandal doesn’t influence the popularity of a member, keep in mind that it happened when she was a KKS, barely being an extra in Everyday Kachuusa MV. Taking such a risk to date someone when she’s 4th in sousenkyo, her answer would have been completely different.

My humble opinion : If my oshimen was caught in a scandal, i would probably be disappointed. Not because i thought of her as pure and innocent (let’s be real, women also have libido, and love is something wonderful), but because she’s taking a risk to damage her or the group reputation. She’s aware of the damage, and she took it anyway. To be responsible, is a form of respect.

In the future, we probably will see a change of mindset, with a more accepting industry toward idols. Because, there’s no proper definition of an idol.