#especially in all the Fran x cc I just tore through
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Hmmmmm all this cc Babcock content has reawakened way too many feelings about [REDACTED] and brother I am beating them back with a stick
#like a reminder of oh yeah there is someone in my life that makes me feel the way people feel when they fall in love in fanfic#but she’s straight so I have to just constantly overwrite that to be normal#and it’s been fine I’ve been fine#did a little cognitive behavioral therapy over it kind of fine like legitimately can cope with the emotion now#but something about CC’s particular brand of repression and self loathing is a little too specifically relatable to me#especially in all the Fran x cc I just tore through#so now I need to just kind of sit with these feelings for another night I guess#by the morning it will ache less it always does#it’s times like these that I remember I actually process feelings very poorly without fictional narratives to map my own experiences onto#and then it’s suddenly really easy to understand why I feel the way I do#is this an autism thing?
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