#especially considering the line is literally “he fucking did it again!!” when he ascends for the third time

[very-poorly-drawn-tgcf]

Episode 1: Back to Heaven now, by accident

Bonus under the cut! (Warning tgcf spoilers but then again Why Are You Here If You Haven't Finished TGCF Yet Off With Ye)

[randomnameless]

I just saw the screenshot of Bernadetta, as an Adrestian field commander in Hopes, running away in fear and leaving her troops to fend for themselves the second a battle begins on Dimiclaudeblaigan's blog, and i have to concur with her criticisms of the scene; how in the actual fuck did Bernadetta get into such an important position in the army if her crippling anxiety was never solved and she's just going to bolt the second a fight starts??

It's a funny joke, sure, but the only way this makes any sense is if Edelgard gave Bernadetta the position literally just because they were friends and she felt like doing a bit of nepotism by giving her a high-ranking job she was throughly unqualified for, and even that doesn't really work logically; surely there were safer jobs she could have had Bernadetta work on that wouldn't inevitably end with a not-insignificant portion of Adrestia's army getting decimated, especially when she never does anything this (militarily) idiotic anywhere else in the game.

I've seen it too lol

But anon, it applies to Bernie but to any member of the BESF in general, they're joke characters.

Bernie's anxiety and agoraphobia is treated as a joke in those games, and if the shitstorm around Grégoire's support was any indication, she was never supposed to be a character with a serious trauma that will later be explored, like Felix and his teenage rebellion against his Father and/or "chivalry" or Dimitri.

Grégoire tying Bernie to a chair to force her to listen to a lecture is a joke, the "tie to a chair" is the same joke Tibarn uses when he says he tied Reyson to a bed to force him to rest (kinky stuff aside) - it was never about irl abuse. Sure, it doesn't land right most of the times, but again, Bernie (and the BESF in general?) aren't supposed to be taken seriously, they have quirks for funsies and FEH gacha purposes, but Bernie isn't supposed to be a proper call out to the real life situation and "problem" in Japan that are hikikomoris.

Just like Linhardt's haematophobia - do you realise Naruto, with the treatment we all know and hate of its female characters, managed to tackle the issue of a "healer with haematophobia" better something that was released in 2019?

Given how Supremely Aware Supreme Leader is sometimes, I wonder if she didn't saw anything wrong about Bernie being a commander even when Bernie still panics and has a lot of anxiety.

Maybe it was something the devs made on purpose - like yes, it is nepotism (which is WAY better than people being appointed based on their ascendance, right??) and it's another example of "do what I say but not what I do" from supreme Leader, or it was just for a joke because at times the devs seem to consider war as something funny to do between two teatime parties.

In a more serious setting though... Bernie's anxiety would still exist, but be subdued by her choice to fight in this battle (isn't this what we see from Bernie in FE16?) - so maybe this line wasn't added to poke fun at Supreme Leader or have fun at Bernie's expense, but to show how she reacts in a war situation if Billy had never been there to help her?

[chancelloramidala]

Staring at the Sun ➤ Evan Buckley

Chapter One: You’re Fucking Joking.

Warnings: shooting, gunshot, blood, hospitals

Masterlist

Injuries on the job, especially as a firefighter, was nothing new. You had to be ready to endure whatever came at you, it was apart of the job description to be frank. But nothing could prepare Marceline Pierce for getting fucking shot, not once, but twice. The first bullet hit her in the thigh, luckily barely missing her femoral artery and stayed lodged in there, while the second on swiped clean through her left abdomen.

The call was to an cocaine overdose at a suburban mansion, and whilst everyone else was helping the victim, Marceline and Buck searched the rest of the house for the person who dialed 9-1-1. They made the stupid decision to split up so they could more ground because when I tell you the mansion was huge, it was. That’s when Marceline found who they were looking for in the bathroom.

It was a white male, early thirties and completely coked up by the smudged white lines on the marbled counter along with the white power covering his nose. He looked severely disheveled and was waving a gun around, muttering to himself and pacing back and forth. Marceline tried to talk the guy down, keeping her hands up to show that no she wasn’t a threat but didn’t keep her guard down. If worse came to worse, she was going to try and take the gun.

After that, everything was kind of... hard for her to remember if you could believe it. There were certain things she could remember, like how she was carefully walking towards the guy, Johnny that was his name, when Buck suddenly entered the room in search for Marceline. Johnny then pointed to gun at Buck, the last person, she wanted to be near a fucking gun.

So she acted on instinct, her mind yelling at her to make sure Buck was safe. Marceline charged towards Johnny, and when her hands were wrapped around his wrists, it went off and her left thigh was on fire. But it didn’t matter, Buck was still in danger. She groaned, biting through the pain as she staggering towards Johnny when he shot at her again but this time aiming for her side.

That’s when she finally fell, sort of slow-mo like as she bled onto the tiled floors.

Bobby was suddenly hovering over her, so was Chimney. Talking was hard at the time, so she just stared blankly at her Captain as one of the paramedics tried to stabilize her for transport. Buck was suddenly there too, he looked angry and seemed to be shouting but to be honest, Marceline couldn’t hear what he was saying.

But... where was Johnny?

Was the gun away?

Was Buck safe now?

Her mind was spinning.

She was then inside of the ambulance, Bobby beside her and holding her hand as he and Chimeny told her to stay awake. And Marceline tried, she really did. 

But, fuck, her eyes were heavy, almost as if someone put bricks on them.

So against her Captain’s orders, she slept.

Later, much later, Marceline woke up in a hospital room to the beeping of machines she was hooked up on and a cartoon playing incessantly on the shitty TV. Sitting beside her was her best friend, roommate, and ex-girlfriend Nicolette Bishop.

Apparently, she’s been out for four days from a medically induced coma after the shooting incident. Her team has been visiting since then, leaving small gifts and reading to her until she woke up. Even Nic’s daughter, Gemma came to visit a few times and proof of that was her poorly painted toenails and drawings left by her bedside.

Even though she was glad to be alive, Marceline couldn’t help but wonder if Buck was okay. Her chest was tight with anxiety at that thought.

Were her efforts in vain?

Did she really get fucking shot for nothing?

“No, Buck’s fine.” Nic told her as she fluffed Marceline’s pillow for the hundredth time that hour. “He visited you while you were out, just talking about random things, I didn’t really hear him.”

She relaxed at that, inwardly smiling at the fact that he was here when she was asleep.

The doctor said she’d be out of commission for at least a month and a half to heal properly and then another for physical therapy and check-ups.

Marceline fucking hated that. She verbalized that to her doctor, who wasn’t surprised and just shrugged before leaving.

What was she supposed to do till then? Sit her ass on the couch in front of the television and watch shitty reality TV? Plus, she knew Nic was going to baby the hell out of her till she could walk by herself.

But Nic wasn’t the only person ready to help Marceline.

By the time Marceline was released from the hospital, the 118 had already prepared a schedule where they’d take turns to spend the afternoon with her when they had the days off.

The last thing she wanted as her team to step into her home, one of the few places where she could separate her work life with her home life. But it’s not like she was able to have a say in any of this.

Nic was absolutely thrilled for the extra help, knowing that she’d be a little preoccupied from her job as a caretaker to take anymore personal days off, when only the month before Gemma was sick with a stomach bug.

For the next two months and a half, Marceline was bombarded by Bobby’s cooking, Chimney’s horrible jokes, and Hen’s warm hugs. As for Buck? Well he visited a little less than the rest of them, continuously thanking her for basically saving his life. The poor woman didn’t know how to respond to this, only lamely shrugging and picking at her nails while saying, “I just did what anyone else would do...” for the one’s they love...

In between those heartfelt visits, Athena Grant came by to give her a stern talking to about charging at someone with a loaded weapon. For as long as Marceline could remember, Athena was the mother-figure she never had growing up in the foster system and always fretted when she did something a little too reckless on the job.

“What the hell were you thinking? That druggie had a gun pointing at you, Marceline! You’re obviously not bulletproof!” Athena would go on a tangent, wagging her finger at the younger woman. 

“But he pointed the gun at Buck too, Athena!” Marceline shot back with a type of ferocity that the cop never saw before. “I...I didn’t think at the time, I know that but... I didn’t care what happened to me.” she chewed at her lower lip as she stared at the older woman. “Buck was in danger, I just- I had to- I would never forgive myself if something-” happened to him.

Marceline broke down, her hands now shaking as tears spilled out of her eyes. She broke eye contact with Athena, covering her face with her shaky hands to hid how embarrassed and vulnerable she felt in this moment.

Athena watched the young woman that she considered one of her own as she was struck with a realization. “You’re in love with him, aren’t you sweetheart?”

Marceline whimpered, curling herself in a ball that wouldn’t break her stitches.

“Oh, baby,” Athena sat down next to her and wrapped her arms around the weeping woman before pulling her into a side hug. “I’m sorry for giving you a hard time, I was just worried about you.” she placed a kiss to Marceline’s hair. “But I understand. We do crazy things for the people we love.”

Marceline was finally cleared to go back to work in the next two weeks. Her confession was only known to Athena and Nic (the latter only learning this piece of information months beforehand with a drunk Marceline going on and on about why she loves Buck), and was never spoken about again.

But after her sort of near death situation, Marceline decided that she should tell Buck how she feels. Even if he was a self-diagnosed sex addict. It didn’t matter. Life was too short to have any regrets, right?

Marceline came to her first day back with anxiety settling in her bloodstream, her blue duffel bag hung over her shoulder. She was glad that there was no one greeting her or anything, it was as if she never got shot. All she wanted was to get back to work and have everything go by smoothly. Then she walked over to her locker, “PIERCE” written in neat, bold handwriting and stuffed her things inside.

“Mars, come up, breakfast is getting cold!” Bobby shouted over the railing.

She grinned. God, she missed Bobby’s cooking. Not that she didn’t have constant access to it because there were literally tons of leftovers currently sitting in her fridge, but it was different when Bobby cooked at the fire station. Now, it was actually a home cooked meal.

“Alright, Bobby, hold on,” she yelled back at him before ascending up the stairs, holding the railing because wow did these steps get bigger somehow?

And as she finally reached the top steps, she almost immediately wanted to turn around run away.

“Welcome back, Marceline!” everyone cheered and smiled excitedly underneath a large, brightly colored banner hung up above.

Fuck, this is not what she wanted. “Oh gosh,” she started, her hand finding it’s way into her hair. “You guys really didn’t have to-”

“Ba-ba-ba,” Chimney shook his head and stepped forward before slinging his arm around her shoulder. “Yes we did, we’ve missed your brooding presence inside the truck and had to celebrate your return.”

"Look, we know you didn’t want a big welcome back kind of party, so it’s just us, some cake, and pure vibes.” Hen looked at Marceline thoughtfully with a small smile.

It really was just Bobby, Hen, Chimney, and Athena. The presence of Buck was missing, but that wasn’t too surprising, he tended to be late to almost everything.

Bobby then held up a cake with a bright smile. “It’s ice cream cake, your favorite.”

Yes, ice cream cake is indeed Marceline’s favorite. And, yes, she really did not want to make a big deal about her return... but the hopeful and expecting looks on her teams faces made her throw away her previous reservations.

“Alright, fine.” she sighed before playfully shoving Chimney’s arm off of her shoulder. “I guess, I’ll enjoy myself until we have a call.”

“Ah, that’s the spirit!” Athena smiled and clapped her hands together. “Okay, here are the plates and the utensils-”

“Hey guys, sorry for being late,” Buck’s voice filled the air and Marceline almost instantly whipped around with a dumbest smile on her face. “But I wanted to bring Abby,”

Abby? Who the fuck was Abby?

Marceline’s smile wavered at the sight of a redheaded woman who was at least double her own age standing behind Buck. With closer inspection, they were holding hands.

Oh...

“That’s alright Buck, c’mon and get some cake before Marceline eats the whole thing,” Bobby smiled at the other man and waved the couple over.

"Well, I felt a little silly coming here without anything so I brought brownies,” Abby smiled lightly, holding up store-bought brownies as she walked over.

“All food is welcomed,” Athena replied in kind to her before sneaking at glance at Marceline who stood scarily still and was obviously biting back a few emotions.

Abby nodded and placed the brownies on the table as she took a plate that Buck handed her before turning her attention to Marceline. “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met, I’m Abby, I’ve heard great things about you”

Marceline hated how almost on sight she hated Abby’s guts. And it was over a stupid fucking reason, a boy. God, way to be less of a fucking feminist, Marceline.

So she put on one of her best “this is fine, I’m perfectly okay” which meant a tight smile plastered on her face and shoved every dark and ugly emotion she had into the deepest parts of her soul.

You could do this, you can fake being nice and perfectly okay, you’ve done this your whole life.

“It’s so nice to meet you, Abby, I’m Marceline,”

@skyslowalking​ & @beelarson 4 u darlings <3​

[plasticflowering]

A Unifying Theory of Loreography (Lore + Choreography)

(2/3/21) HELLO to all new folks finding this post! It is also now a YouTube Video, and I’m pretty happy with it so if you’d rather get your lore analysis visually please check it out! 

Preface: I don’t think it’s just coincidence that we got full choreography for an intro called “Devil is in the detail”, and I’ve made it my mission since 반박불가 dropped to pull apart the threads that might link everything, lore-wise. This morning I believe I had an epiphany about it, so here are my thoughts.

If this flops I will feel my soul exiting my body so please validate me.

Notes: In forming this theory I mostly considered the events of the storyline MVs and teasers as well as the choreography, but a very important part of my epiphanies came when considering the post-MV stingers for TBONTB and 반박불가. It’s using these stingers that I feel like I can better understand the thesis statements in the choreo. 

Part One: Now then, where were we? 

At the end of TBONTB, the monarchs are approaching monumental, pitch-black gates made of skulls and desperate, reaching hands. 

I can’t not interpret this as the gates of Tartarus, considering the Greek mythology in the canon lore already. Tartarus, however, is at the lowest depths of the underworld, and so my interpretation is that, while they reclaimed their souls from the necklace, they awoke physically in a realm beyond the underworld, and now have to make their way out of this psychological nightmare to breathe free the air, as it were. Through Tartarus, through Hell, this is not because I played 80 hours of Hades in the last three months but it might have a little to do with that. Stay with me. (Though if anyone is wondering, YES Leedo would be Zagreus, but that’s not why we’re here today)

Part Two: Devil is in the Detail 

What an opening formation. The imagery is not 100% clear to me, but I feel as if this entire opening formation sequence is dual-wielding imagery of a crown (much like the killing part of TBONTB), but also the gates of Tartarus. 

Look at this transition once Hwanwoong ascends to the top of the formation, and how the hands all come out, similar to the gates above. I’ll be damned if this is supposed to invoke anything else.

Rewinding a bit, this framing of Seoho being resuscitated and borne by their hands is stunning. Seoho’s journey in the TBONTB choreography merits its own post entirely, because there are a lot of moments that seem to be telling a story for him particularly, and this is just a continuation of that. 

Ravn and Leedo being separated for the rap line part seems like an obvious utilitarian choice, and I agree that it is. However, before we prepare to dismiss all “pairings” as serving the progression of the song itself, I have another theory that ties together a lot of the inciting moments of choreo. I promise you this is going to sound like A Reach, but that’s just how my mind works and if you enjoy it I’m glad.

Leedo, Hwanwoong, and Xion are the monarchs who have absolved themselves by the events of 반박불가, and fully reclaimed their souls as well as their conscience. Seoho and Ravn, not so much. They have a lot of work to do to free their conscience - especially Seoho. Oh, lord, especially Seoho. Keonhee is an extremely interesting case, as he seems to have a foot firmly in both sides, More on that later. 

For further paranoid conspiracy theorist proof of this, please note that their outfits in the choreography videos symbolically reflect this:

Light, Light, Light/Dark, Dark, Dark/Lightish, Light

If you need more convincing, may I point out that Leedo, Hwanwoong, and Xion are the only members who got those wonderful “all clothed in white” shots in the back half of the 반박불가 MV? I tried to make a gif, and I did make a gif, but Tumblr doesn’t want to post it in this text post.

(you rn)

The most interesting moments of loreography in DiitD are the following: 

1. These lotus hands. Again, the imagery, I die!! Keonhee is coming into his own, his character is blooming, expanding his consciousness, going sicko mode with the realization that he has power in the underworld. 

2. Directly following this, Seoho offers a hand to Keonhee and literally drags him down (again, the light/dark dichotomy of Keonhee), while the two good good boys Hwanwoong and Xion are back there just trying to maintain balance so they can get through this Hell/Tartarus thing. 

3. Good ol’ ONEUS Summoning Circle, but wait this time I think it’s actually meaningful beyond the imagery. Seoho is at the center because he has the vocal line, yeah obviously, but he stays there much longer than is objectively necessary without a formation change. This isn’t common in ONEUS choreography. As much as they love their Summoning Circles, they tend to move on to other formations quickly. This one has meat on its bones, and I think what’s happening here, loreography wise, are the other monarchs banding together in an attempt to save Seoho from the darkness. But Seoho is powerfully dark, y’all, even going so far as to overpower them in the moment above. 

4. This is flame imagery. Seoho has been engulfed in flames despite everyone’s best efforts. 

5. At the last minute, he gets yeeted via backflip back into Hell/Tartarus

6. Keonhee takes the initiative in going back for him...

7. We’re back in Hell, that’s just great. Thanks, Seoho. You’re lucky we love you and your extremely disturbed conscience. 

With this in mind, you can probably get way ahead of me, here. 

Part Three: 반박불가 

Perhaps not remarkably, the title track doesn’t have nearly as many loreography beats as DiitD. However, we know it’s part of the lore, and this was made abundantly clear simply with that opening move...

This is where we left off TBONTB, but not exactly. There is a slightly different formation of dancers here, which suggests it’s not picking up exactly where TBONTB left off, but rather that this is a cue to let casual fans know, explicitly: yes, this is a continuation of the TBONTB story. 

Some moments don’t have choreography allusions, but they are loud in the MV, such as:

- “Youngjo, would you stop playing with flowers, our lead vocalist is going to Hell.” Ravn, who barely scraped out of Hell last time, ostensibly with Leedo’s help according to the rap line break in the choreography, has a rough time of it in the 반박불가 MV, but Hwanwoong isn’t going to let him fall back into toxic behaviors and lose himself to that psychological prison again. Hwanwoong drags Ravn back out of Hell, but not before Ravn successfully makes contact with Seoho. Obviously, Ravn would be the one to make contact, because Ravn’s still a little on edge about his own conscience and can easily backslide if he wants to. Who does he find down there? Seoho.

- Keonhee, who led the charge to return to Hell, is staying on task but seems to be the chief of operations to Hwanwoong’s chief of intelligence here, exercising his newfound sicko mode. Those two are certainly working hardest at keeping the servants of darkness in check down in the depths so they can make a quick break for it. 

- Leedo’s actually having a grand time fighting his own demons - or rather, smirking at them and realizing that nah, he’s good. He can use his guilt and regret to motivate him towrd good things now. 

- Xion is literally just above all of this and can move between Hell and Earth with ease, so he’s just waiting to see if he has to pull any Fallen God-Prince cards here to save his friends. 

Now, for the key loregraphy moments. It’s obvious that 1Million was choreographing for a new direction in the ONEUS style, here, so it’s nearly bereft of the usual lyricism and formations, but they’re definitely there. Unsurprisingly they almost all deal with Seoho. 

1. God, this moment whips. They’re all working to free Seoho and lock the gates behind them, with Keonhee giving Seoho one final push. That’s not a normal choreography move. That is storytelling and it sticks out like a beautiful sore thumb with an entire sonnet written on it. 

2. With Seoho on lock, now Ravn may break out. He does so rather easily, but it’s not without Hwanwoong’s help. Please notice that Keonhee and Seoho are the two BEHIND him, and what that symbolizes. 

3. This fucking bridge. It’s amazing with the loreography. First of all we have Keonhee, and the Summoning Circle is using the same imagery/texture that was formerly used to represent engulfing fire. Uh-oh.

4. Keonhee reaches out...

... but gets dragged under.

5. (excited football commentator voice) but who’s that on the outside making it to the surface, literally with the support of the other monarchs? IT’S SEOHO (cheers)!!

And Seoho finishes things out in the center, as well he should because he got us into this mess.

Part Four: What just happened to Keonhee

I’m so angry at this post-MV stinger. It took me forever to wrap my brain around what is being suggested here, because I thought “hey wait, the red lighting represents darkness/hell, doesn’t it?? DOESN’T IT?? RBW???? I thought we just GOT OUT OF HELL????

So I leave the final interpretation in everyone's individual hands, but the thought that occurred to me today was: 

What if this entire scenario was a test of resolve and camaraderie, an illusion, a trick by the Devil (or that donger Helios, whatever). What if Keonhee was the only one who saw through this, and the only one who genuinely made it to Earth at the moment he appeared to have been dragged back to Hell? Because, as we know, Keonhee is a tactical genius, a monarch among the monarchs, and all his visual imagery in the MV suggested a sort of power cabal. 

What if he realized that they weren’t all strong enough to face the challenge of breaking this cycle, so he schemed to leave them behind, but leave them safe in the illusion, while he struck out with the power of God and anime on his side.

I... I think Keonhee is about to go kill and dethrone a God, y’all. 

[lizardkingeliot]

First Line Meme

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line, then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

tagged by @phoenix-ascended thank you!!!! 💖

Okay SO. I’m gonna cheat a little bit here. The first nine I’m going to post are all going to be from the first nine chapters of time cast a spell on you (but you won’t forget me) but to be fair the chapters are so long they each might as well be a story all their own lmao. ANYWAY. Here we go. I’ll post the first paragraph from each I guess, in order of chapter number obvs:

1. Quentin shook out the tension in his hands. He didn’t understand why it wasn’t getting any easier. For days on end he’d been trying to perfect the illumination spell the rest of his fellow First Years had nailed in a matter of hours. But no matter how he tried, Quentin couldn’t seem to make anything more than a spark.

2. Quentin waited until Eliot was asleep to slip out of bed and hastily tug his clothes back on. The illuminated screen of his phone told him it was just past 12am. Clutching his shoes to his chest, he opened the door as quietly as he could manage and tip-toed out into the hall, all but running to his room and clicking the lock shut firmly behind him.

3. Dry-mouthed and groggy, Quentin woke in Eliot’s bed alone. He groaned, groping around for his phone to check the time for a long moment before remembering he’d left it in his room. Quentin rubbed at his eyes, rolling over and up to his feet, muscles he didn’t even know existed screaming as he went. He picked his bathrobe up from the floor and pulled it on, then tottered down the hall to empty his bladder and brush his teeth and gulp down frantic handfuls of water from the bathroom sink.

4. Tuesday morning was hell. Quentin woke just before eleven, empty as a husk. Filthy, all used up. His thighs sticking together where Eliot’s come had dried there in the night. Quickly realizing he’d already missed his first class of the day, Quentin pressed his face into his pillow, pulled the covers up over his head, and surrendered to the blank comfort of late morning sleep.

5. Quentin couldn’t feel his face, or much of his body for that matter. Which was… fine. It was great. It was fucking phenomenal. As long as it meant he also couldn’t feel the sinkhole that had formed in the center of his chest. The one that had been there for days, weeks, months, fucking years. He couldn’t feel anything at all.

6. Quentin felt a lever turn inside his chest, the source of his magic eking out a spark. Enough at least to send a message to Julia back at Brakebills. One of those little enchanted paper airplanes they’d learned his first week in Practical Applications that he never could get to fly quite right. He scrawled his SOS on a cocktail napkin and watched it flutter away like the world’s saddest butterfly. The universe took pity on him. Quentin figured he was probably due. 7. Christmas morning was a lackluster affair.

Exchanging gift cards over coffee and devouring great mounds of Ted Coldwater’s Famous Ham and Eggs while still in their pajamas. After, Julia and Quentin lay on the living room floor and Skyped with James, his grandparents waving hello from Pennsylvania in the background. They opened the stack of impersonal and overly-extravagant gifts from Julia’s mother that had been delivered to the house the night before. Quentin received a pair of cashmere socks and a leather belt with a shiny silver buckle.

8. Quentin stood at the bathroom sink, watching his face shift in the steamy mirror glass. Stark naked save for the towel looped around his hips. Hair dripping in cool, fat beads down onto the planks of his shoulders. So clean he swore he could feel himself sparkling from the inside out.

9. Quentin tossed his phone down onto the floor and leaned back into Eliot’s heat. “It’s almost like you want my dad to know I’m faking sick so I can stay in and let you fuck me until I pass out.”

Some patterns I guess: I love how chapters 2-4 all open with Quentin in bed after hooking up with eliot but all with very different vibes. In chapter 2, he’s just experienced subspace for the first time without having any idea that’s what actually happened to him and he is having A Time. In chapter 3, they had a very intense hook-up the night before and Quentin is sneaking out again, but this time he fully plans on returning right after. And in chapter 4, we see the joy of their beginnings at Columbia contrasted hard with the misery of where Quentin is at Brakebills.

ALSO 2/3 of the chapters begin with Quentin’s name which feels right considering just how deep into his headspace we are in this fic.

Okay. Anyway. Moving on:

10. Eliot loved watching Quentin lose himself in a moment.

It could be anything really: mastering a brand new spell; savoring something decadent and sweet; fussing with his hair when he thought no one was looking; focusing very hard on making himself a cocktail and getting the ratios just right; ranting about his Fillory books; reading his Fillory books, to himself but especially aloud; reading anything; riding dick...

That last one held a particularly special place in Eliot’s heart.

(from but i would die for you in secret aka the one where eliot is pretty sure quentin is only using him for his dick. spoiler alert: he’s not they’re just idiots)

11. Teddy was turning six years old. There was nothing in the world he loved more than stories.

His favorite was a version of Lord of the Rings Quentin had cobbled together from memory. He must have told it to their son a hundred times before it occurred to Eliot he could contribute more to story time than ogling Quentin’s hands while he spoke, or popping in to suggest when the Balrog should actually be making an appearance, Quentin.

(from in a land far away aka the mosaic fic where eliot makes margo hand puppets for teddy)

12. The words came out of Quentin’s mouth without a single coherent thought behind them.

“I’m just about to catch a movie with my boyfriend!”

There, outside the coffee shop on Eighth Avenue, Quentin’s maybe-friend from high school whose name he couldn’t even remember shot him a wide-mouthed grin. “Oh, that’s wonderful!” she said. “Which movie? My wife Danielle and I don’t have any plans for the afternoon and we’d love to tag along. Isn’t that right sweetie?”

(from your name like a song (i sing to myself) aka the one where quentin’s memory is shit and he and eliot pretend to be boyfriends in a post-monster world)

13. Eliot dropped the last box onto the floor. “Daddy’s wardrobe is safe at last,” he said, lowering himself down into the gold chair with a sigh. “Though I can’t seem to shake the terrible feeling that Todd raided my closet at the Cottage before I could get to it all.”

Quentin surveyed the damage from his spot on the sofa: there were at least seven large packing boxes bursting at their seams scattered around the penthouse. “I don’t know how you would even be able to tell. I’m pretty sure one of those boxes is just vests.”

Eliot quirked a brow in his direction. “Some of us are cultivating an aesthetic, Quentin,” he said. “And I didn’t see you complaining when I let you dress me for dinner last night.”

Quentin couldn’t help but smile. “I wouldn’t call picking between two pre-approved ties dressing you, El.”

“I’m also counting the fact that you said my ass looked great in my new pants.”

(from the parentheses (all clicking shut behind you) aka the suspender porn fic)

14. The night Quentin Coldwater died, a brand new star appeared in the sky over Brakebills. A little brighter than Venus, it stayed fixed in the same position for weeks on end. Eliot hardly would have noticed such a thing if it hadn’t been for the way that it hummed. Or at least, that’s how it felt. A humming in his bones. An old, familiar presence. Margo thought that he’d gone mad with grief. Alice was the only one who could understand.

(from a myth of devotion aka the one where eliot is sorta icarus and quentin is sorta the sun)

15. It didn’t happen the way Eliot expected it to. He dropped the letter into the mailbox, and pain blossomed in his abdomen so brightly it was like he’d gone supernova.

And everything went dark.

(from by night, beloved, tie your heart to mine aka the one where eliot sends the letter)

16. Eliot stretched out over the mosaic, his shirt riding up just a little as he clicked a yellow tile into place, and Quentin’s pulse leapt in his neck once, twice. Three times. His breath hitched. It was becoming nearly impossible to focus. In the heat of the sun, watching the sweat soak Eliot’s shirt clean-through.

(from i won’t deny (all the things i would do) aka the one where quentin and eliot start hooking up three months into their life at the mosaic)

17. After they decided kissing on the mouth was okay, Quentin and Eliot wanted to do it all the time. In every corner of the penthouse (“If you don’t stop sucking face while I’m trying to eat my sandwich,” Kady said one afternoon, “I’m literally going to feed you to the Baba Yaga.”), outside coffee shops, in between bites at the sushi place in Chelsea that Eliot loved. Once, they went to see a movie they couldn’t even remember the name of just to make out for two blissful, uninterrupted hours in the dark.

(from and a song of praise upon your lips aka part three of the box of chocolates series where quentin and eliot are definitely dating and finally talk about their feelings)

18. Eliot startled awake to something sharp and pointed slamming into his shin. He opened his eyes, and the toe of Margo’s shoe made contact one last time. Pain seared up the side of his leg, and he winced. Jesus, she really did not realize her own strength sometimes. Or the strength of her Jimmy Choo’s.

(from that you may know (the secrets of your heart) aka part two of box of chocolates aka the one where hand stuff is still banging)

19. Eliot Waugh was High King in his blood, and somehow that felt right. When they first arrived in Fillory, Quentin assumed he would be the one to wear the crown. He’d dreamed of it most of his life after all. On the throne in Whitespire, a fleet of talking animals at his disposal, a noble quest waiting around every corner to ferry him away to the next grand, heart-stopping adventure. But when the blade bit into his palm and drew no blood, and Eliot’s came up red, it felt like the final piece of some perfect puzzle clicking into place.

(from and this is the map of my heart aka the one where quentin wants to marry eliot and they have some incredibly filthy sex before everything falls apart)

20. Eliot walked into the penthouse to an eerie quiet. He found Quentin sitting in the kitchen under a dim illumination spell, drinking a beer and poking at the screen of his phone.

“Hey,” Eliot said, setting his shopping bag down on the counter. “Where is everyone?”

Quentin sighed, rubbing at his eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. “Out. I don’t know.”

Eliot squinted at him. “You didn’t want to go with them?”

Quentin lifted his eyes, shot Eliot a look. “No.”

(from for love (if it finds you worthy) aka part one of the box of chocolates series)

And I have now been here doing this for so long I no longer have time to try and find anymore patterns lmao BUT I will be tagging: @thelucindac @akisazame @fishfingersandscarves @nellie-elizabeth @freneticfloetry @rubickk7 and anyone else who wants to play!

[welllpthisishappening]

Okay can we talk about ACOSF???? Bc on booktok all I’m seeing is so much negativity about how people don’t like feysand or don’t like nesta but?? I read this book, loved it, thought nesta grew SO much and we got to see feysand from a different POV which gave them depth! Plus a baby!!! I can talk about it forever

We can absolutely talk about ACOSF. I have thoughts, feelings, opinions and this is going to get long. And, uh, any of those super negative critiques:

Alright, alright, alright, so initial feelings? I enjoyed it a lot. Like, way more than I thought I would honestly because going in I was like eh, Nessian, but I loved Nesta’s character development and the flirt-to-roast ratio with her and Cassian and every single time Cassian called her Nes or God help me ARCHERON, my soul reached another plane of existence. Don’t even get me started on that one time she called him General. The noise I made was not audible to human ears. 

That said, there were some parts that I was like: oh ok, that’s happening. So, because I cannot function without organization, let’s break down some of the major things that happened into a LIST WITH OPINIONS ATTACHED

Sexual Tension Fucking fuck, these two idiots. Pining after each other while both desperately wanting someone, anyone, to be like — please stay in bed and cuddle me all night?!?! Idiots. Both of them flush with power and the ability to make people legit terror before them and they’re so goddamn soft with each other. Which is kind of hysterical because they are also able to rip each other to shreds? Oh my God, some of those fight scenes, I just—my heart was in my throat. And I do not want to hear a single word of how CASSIAN IS MEAN TO NESTA? Were we reading the same book, internet? Bro is In Love. From the G E T. 

Which leads us to—

S O L S T I C E  God, rip my romantic-loving heart out of my body. Learning what was in the box from the solstice before made me screech and then the music. THE MUSIC. Can we talk about Cassian, feared general, dude who has canonically lost track of how many people he has killed, cornering an ENTIRE ORCHESTRA to recreate music for Nesta? I just—f u c k. It was a lot. A lot. And then we circle back around to how soft they were and there’ll never be another and I am going to have to pace around a bit. I loved it. I love them. I nearly screamed when it took Nesta a few more chapters to realize it was a mating bond, and then Cassian just bolted because he also couldn’t quite deal with it, and I am still not super sold on the mating bond, like, as a thing, but I kind of went into this book pretty certain this was going to happen, so...good. Also them arguing by the Sidra, oof. 

There was a lot of sex in this book. I knew there was going to be a lot of sex in this book. I must have told my husband four different times, “God, there is a lot of sex in this book.” Some of it was good. Some of it was kind of cloying in its descriptions. I genuinely lol’ed at Nesta fantasizing about being straight up railed by both Cassian and Azriel. (Why was that in there? Still don’t really know, felt a lot like very obvious fan service, but it was also kind of hysterical.)

JEALOUSY DIDN’T MAKE ME WANT TO RIP MY EYES OUT I hate jealousy plots. HATE THEM. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves in relationship writing, but I was super into it here??? Cassian cutting in on the dance and TAKING DANCING LESSONS. It was good. I enjoyed it. 

Nesta’s Power Yo. YO. This was really cool. She was terrifying and out of control, while also learning how to be in control and intimidating and I was like YES, GET IT. When Rhys flew into the House and Nesta was just wrapped in silver flames, that was super cool. Also Rhys being freaked out by her? Kind of bad ass, honestly. But. But! I wish it was explored even more. I wish we got to learn what she could really do and the extent to which she could do it, because I thought it was a fascinating possibility to parallel Nesta to Feyre and I don’t really think we got that. Like, Feyre Cursebreaker — with power given from all the High Lords, this bringer of new life and a fresh start for all the courts. Then her sister — with power stolen from the Cauldron itself and death at her fingertips. With all the comparisons of Feyre and Nesta, I really figured we’d be gunning towards that eventually ESPECIALLY with Feyre being pregnant, and the idea of life in that capacity. Also, what was the point of Lucien saying “Gods help you all” or whatever he said when he was watching Nesta train if...nothing ever really came from that? We’ll circle back around to that in a second, during what will be my ending-based soliloquy, but first let’s talk about—

Feyre Being Pregnant, Why That Kind of Felt Like Twilight and Why I Get Why Rhys Was Being an Idiot Listen, part of the reason I wanted to read this book was for what I assumed would be the Feysand crumbs we’d get. Most of me was convinced that this book would not take place in Velaris and I was mentally prepared for that. Color me pleasantly surprised when it wasn’t and we got an IC feast. But. But! Part two! I’ve mentioned how I’m never really here for...pregnancy being like this ultimate endgame, and I understand why Feysand wanted a kid and I get it, I do. Just the whole thing with she’s going to DIE felt very Bella Swan, was kind of dramatic in mela-sort of way and I TOTALLY GET WHY RHYS KEPT THE WINGS A SECRET. Was it idiotic? Yeah, of course. But I don’t think we talk about his trauma enough, really. Those fifty years under the Mountain are not just gong to disappear, and I cannot really blame him for totally losing his mind at even the idea of Feyre dying. This is not a dude who is trying to control Feyre. I’ve never felt that way about Rhys. At all. This is a dude who has already lost ALL of HIS control and is desperately trying to hang on. He’s already had his entire world shattered six ways to Sunday, this was obviously going to destroy him. Aside from, y’know, straight up killing him too. (That was dumb, guys.) And I think telling Feyre would have made it REAL for Rhys, which he obviously could not cope with. Was I surprised that Feyre’s pregnancy was such a big plot point in a book that was supposed to be super Nessian focused? Yeah, for sure. But also—I like established relationships and Feyre and Rhys could not stop making eyes at each other. Not totally here for the deadly pregnancy trope, not totally here for using family as a trauma recovery, but sort of understand it. 

Training, Valkyries and Friendship Bracelets Like I said, I thought this book was gong to take place in the Illyrian camps way more than it did, but I L O V E D the training sessions. Adored Nesta, Emerie and Gwyn’s friendship and how often they teamed up to snark Cassian and Azriel. I was painfully here for all three of them together and the sleepover in the House warmed the cockles of my cold, dead heart. Especially when the bracelets proved so important during the Blood Rite. Which—let’s talk about the Blood Rite. Didn’t expect that!! Was pleasantly surprised by that!! Nesta drawing the literal line in the dirt made me fist pump the air. (And is another parallel to Feyre and her taking inspiration from old Fae legends, but that’s neither here nor there, whatever I’m not here to harp on missed opportunity.) I thought it was really important that all three of them got to showcase their own power too, and how they worked SO WELL together and I was just really glad that there was such focus on this sisterhood outside of literal sisterhood. I thought those relationships were so well done and it was just such a joy to read about their growth and strength and I loved them. Am I here for Gwyn and Azriel? Maybe. Possibly more here for Emerie and Mor? Maybe maybe. 

The House I thought it was Amren, for a very long time. Like secretly helping Nesta still and I was really into that idea and really into Amren not being able to totally let Nesta go and I wasn’t really into Nesta bowing to Amren. 

THE ENDING Oh my God, so much happened. So quickly. With some occasionally jarring scene cuts. The Blood Rite surprised me, but I was not surprised by Cassian getting ensnared by the crown. Fully expected something like that to happen, was still making ridiculous noises when he tried to turn the dagger on himself instead of killing Nesta. LOST MY MIND WHEN NESTA UNMADE THE QUEEN. I’m still sort of...confused about the Trove, though. I know there are a fair number of hanging plot threads that are gong to lead into other stories, but I just—I don’t know, when they were talking about the High King and everything I sort of thought they were leading towards Nessian being that. I know the whole IC was very into Rhys and thematically it made sense, but also let’s consider—I don’t want that? Rhys needs to get his shit in order and his own Court to calm the fuck down and again I think the potential for LORD OF THE BASTARDS and LADY DEATH to ascend to this position of power and lead the world into this new era was there and I just, I don’t know, I liked the idea of it. Particularly when so many people have referred to Nesta as a Queen. That whole thing in the prison happened, y’know? I’m not sure (read: I’m fairly positive) that won’t happen now, especially because Nesta gave up so much of her power to save Feyre. And I know that’s a TALKING POINT™ but also...I was pretty cool with that? Once it came out that Feyre was going to die, it made sense that Nesta would be the one to save her—to twist death again, and kind of seize control of it. Granted, I’m still a little confused by the Trove and what everyone’s going to do with all that power, but Nesta saving Feyre was this perfect sort of wrap up. For me, at least. I think they balance each other out in a lot of respects, and that was really the last step of Nesta’s growth. Also, uh, back on my Feysand ‘ish and Rhys screaming and crying and trying to get to Feyre? o o o f. Also, also, RHYS BOWING TO NESTA. I CANNOT TELL YOU THE LAST TIME I CRIED AT A BOOK, BUT I CRIED AT THIS BOOK. RHYS, BABY, I ADORE YOU. 

Nesta Finding Herself I just really—liked it. I think sometimes in these sorts of stories we get people who are so focused on characters being “the bitch” and having an edge and we have a tendency to think that’s what makes them STRONG. Nah, that ain’t it, son. I don’t want to read about someone being a dick just for sake of being a dick. Nesta was NOT IN A GOOD PLACE. She was self-imploding and destroying herself and getting her POV made it blatantly clear that she thought she deserved that. That she truly believed she didn’t deserve anyone else. And as much as the romance was good and the friendships were fantastic, the key to this story was Nesta (as cheesy as it sounds) learning to love herself. To find worth in her own self. Reading about Nesta simply learning to want to live again, for no one except herself, was really, really good and I think, for the most part, well done. Which is why it makes sense that Nesta gives up some of her power. This isn’t about being A BAD BITCH, PATENT PENDING. This is about love, and joy and embracing your own faults. I get the disappointment over Nesta losing her power. I do. But I’m not sure she totally did? Maybe that’s too positive, or too naive, or something, but...whatever. 

Other things that I really enjoyed, include but are not limited to: Cassian having allergies Nesta absolutely decimating Tamlin. And Tamlin’s just like...a lion all the time now, huh? And, uh, also is Tamlin Gwyn’s dad??? Like, is that a thing? Am I crazy?  Nesta telling Elain to fuck off (Also, Elain—darling, I wish you got more character development. Elain is to SJM what Belle is to me in CS fic. Sometimes I think she just forgets about her.) Azriel calling out Cassian for getting BLOWN at the dining room table Azriel getting Nesta a Solstice gift and then THEY HUGGED Nesta wanting an over the top mating ceremony. Get it, girl.  Feyre going full on Court of Nightmares in the Hewn City Nesta making it down the steps

Other things I thought we’d get more of and just...didn’t Whatever the fuck Lucien has been up to, and more on the continent with Vassa and Juran More stuff in Illyria Reaction to the trio in the Blood Rite Amren and Nesta reconciling. I know Nesta apologized, but Amren kind of got on my nerves.  Nesta understandably criticizing the IC and their tendency to get a little sanctimonious.  THREE SISTER PEAKS. THREE BAT BOYS. THREE VALKYRIE. WHAT IS IT SARAH? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? 

[saturnwritings]

tear-salted popcorn

—while doing your job as a movie theatre janitor, you come across a boy who stayed back after a movie and oh shit is he crying?!

pairing(s): kenma x reader 

word count: 1273

warnings: spoilers for avengers: infinity war

a/n: on this installment of saturn uses ellipses too much!!! i headcanon that kenma likes marvel also i wrote this in dec 2018 but coming back to edit this i literally had to research what happened in infinity war cause for some reason everything i think happened in infinity war probably happened in endgame o_o

Bucket and mop in hand, you sighed as you walked into Theatre 7 for your last job of the day. 

As a student living in Tokyo, it was no surprise you needed extra pocket money. Unfortunately, your parents had taken the liberty to cut off your monthly allowances, forcing you to get a job. As it turned out, a movie theatre near you was hiring, the pay was good enough, and you were even able to get an employee discount sometimes, so all-in-all in wasn’t too bad. 

As you entered the doorway of the theatre, you noticed something was a bit off. Before you were even able to start ascending up the dreaded stairs, you heard a cry that sounded an awful lot like a sniffle. 

From the corner of your eye, you see a hooded figure sitting in one of the seats. The figure was in what looked like a white Avengers hoodie (with the hood up), black jeans and brown boots. As you drew closer, you realized that the figure was a boy with his knees drawn up to his chest.

Just as curiosity almost got the better of you, you remembered your promise to yourself to be home by 10:30pm to make sure you had time to finish that science project that was due tomorrow. Keeping that in mind, you decided to get to cleaning. The faster I finish this, the faster I get home, you thought. Your coworkers that had shifts before you had already done most of the cleaning in this theatre, so all you had to do was mop up the steps.

Trusty mop in hand, you set the bucket of water on the floor and started cleaning. It was a complete coincidence that you had decided to start cleaning the same row the mysterious boy was sitting in. 

A few minutes pass. 

Only a few seats away from the boy, you could now see what was happening. The boy, around your age, give or take a year or two, had his knees tucked to his chest, cradling an XXL bucket of regular, salted popcorn, between his thighs and tears streaming down his face. 

Off the top of your head, you tried to remember what movie had just been playing. Black Panther? No, that was Theatre 4… The Incredibles 2? No, that wasn’t really a movie to cry over… but I guess everyone has their preferences? You tried to take another ‘subtle’ look at the boy and that’s when you finally connected the dots. 

Avengers: Infinity War! You concluded. You, yourself, had already seen it the week before, as soon as it came out. However, judging by the amount of tears on this guy’s face, he had managed to avoid all spoilers in the past week. 

You contemplated his options. On one hand, most people don’t really appreciate being approached by strangers while they’re crying, but as you mopped the sticky, movie theatre floor, you couldn’t help but find the boy cute. After cleaning the majority of the first staircase, you decide to say ‘fuck it’ and approached the boy. 

“Hey, um, are you okay?” you asked the boy with a nervous tint to your voice. The boy’s face snapped up with widened eyes as he tried to hide his sniffles. After regaining his composure, he dropped his feet to the floor, exposing a Marvel logo on the front. You mentally pat yourself on the back for being able to guess Avengers: Infinity War without seeing what he was wearing. He responded. 

“Yeah, I um, just finished, uh, you know…” the boy vaguely gestured to the now black and empty movie screen. 

“Oh… Infinity War?” You questioned as he indicated to the boy’s hoodie.

“Yeah…” an awkward silence proceeded and you were having none of it. Switching your mop to your left hand, you thrusted your right hand out. 

“I’m y/n, by the way, I work here… ” After raising his eyes to meet you suspiciously, the boy reluctantly thrusted his hand out as well. 

“I’m Kenma…”

“So, Kenma, what was your favourite part? I mean… it is a pretty depressing movie, but, you know, there were some good parts, right?” You asked apprehensively, trying to dissolve the awkwardness. 

“Well, I guess I really liked the battle scenes? Especially the one in Wakanda, that was pretty epic.” replied Kenma. 

“Yeah I loved that part! It was really cool to see so many different characters fighting together.” You suddenly exclaimed, Kenma nodded in agreement. “I, personally, really liked any parts with the Guardians, they’re really entertaining and have just the right amount of comic relief while still being able to be serious when they need to be.” You rambled.

This girl really was really… energetic, he thought, not in a bad way considering he was suppressing a smile. After that hell of a movie, it was almost kind of endearing how you were trying to cheer him up. After a while of you talking about how the Guardians saga was probably one of the best ever, it became silent again before Kenma spoke up.

“I really should get going… it’s getting pretty late, and, um, sorry for holding you up,” Kenma awkwardly said as he got up.

You bit your lip.

“I’ll walk you to the entrance! I’m basically done so… we can walk together!” You said as you clutched your mop with both hands, right before you mentally cursed and slapped yourself for sounding so eager. Kenma blinked.

“Um, well, I-I mean, if you really want to that’s okay?” He sounded uncertain of himself. “It’s fine, though, if you need to do… other things?” You laughed a bit.

“It’s all cool! I didn’t really need to mop the other side, anyway!” You totally did. 

Mentally cringing at the thought of not finishing your work to hang out with a boy you just met, you gave him a reassuring smile. Reciprocating your smile, Kenma stood and you leaned the mop against a random aisle seat. 

You walked out of Theatre 7 and headed towards the entrance, talking about everything from how OP Doctor Strange is, to how cool and almost relatable Peter Parker is, to the heart breaking ending, Kenma almost bursting out into tears at the line Peter’s lines “I don’t feel so good” and “I don’t wanna go”. 

You were pretty sad when you got to the main entrance of the cinema, as it meant saying goodbye to your (hopefully) new friend. Kenma shifted awkwardly. 

“Well… this is me…” You smiled. 

“I guess it is, it was fun talking to you though!” Kenma opened his mouth before closing it again. He hesitated, then finally spoke up.

“Uhm, is it okay if I, um… Could I have your number?” You could tell he was extremely nervous, but out of all the things you were expecting, asking for your number was definitely not one of them, “Maybe we could, I don’t know, talk about other movies? Maybe even watch the second part when it comes out…? Even though that’s, like, in a year…” You finally snapped out of your daze.

“Uhm, yeah! Of course! And, I know it’s in a year but let’s definitely go together, I can get us a discount if we come here, too!” You grinned. Kenma smiled, mentally, he slapped himself for getting stomach butterflies for an almost-date in a year’s time. 

bonus: dw you exchanged numbers and after he left, you went back to clean the other side of stairs. when you got home you did NOT do your science project but instead kenma invited you to play on his minecraft server :)

[mikeshanlon]

do you like astrology and if you do what signs do you think the losers are

Okay so shoutout @denbrough (mo) for helping me with this, also @stenbranlons (claudia) for nodding alongin our gc, I’m sorry we talked about this for like a week RGLKNRG. To preface,we are in no way astrology experts lmao, we pulled from several differentsources and picked which ones we felt fit best. Which, that being said, we didnot consider any of the canon birthdays for this, just vibes. Ik some peopleare very particular about astrology headcanons LGRNG so these are just our ownopinions, any differing ones are not less valid or whatever. Also, charts arevery complex and have many different factors, like Mercury for communicationand Venus for love, etc, we just decided to do the main three placements. Incase some of y’all don’t know, someone’s Sun sign is essentially their basicidentity and personality, it’s how we act in the world, and our conscious mind.Our moon sign is our emotional self, our unconscious, how we react tothings, our deepest needs. Some astrologists say this is more like our “trueself”. One’s rising or ascendant sign is our social personality, it is howpeople perceive us, and often how we perceive the world and new experiences—it representsthe “outward”. Some refer to it as the mask we wear around others, though thatdoes not mean our rising/ascendant is fake, but rather how we act and thinkwhen interacting with our environment. Anyways because this is me, theseexplanations became super fucking long so I’m sorry about that! This was superfun though, thank you for asking!

Bill:

Leo Sun: Leos are leaders, theyare very charming and pull people in with their loyalty, humor, and confidence.All of the losers love Bill and are very enraptured by him, Leos tend to be inthe spotlight and adored, so I think this is very fitting. They always want tohelp people but sometimes they can also get fixated and arrogant and end up neglectingwhat others need—for instance Bill being so fixated on finding Georgie that hedoesn’t totally realize the other losers are really scared and getting hurt. Still,Leos are very inspiring and fearless and want their people to be happy. Leosare also quite romantic and generous, which I think are traits that can beattributed to Bill.

Cancer Moon: Okay so I have alwayssaid Bill has Big Cancer Energy, but I think it makes most sense as hisemotional self. Cancers are caretaker types; they want the best for theirfriends and do whatever they can to help them. They are persuasive—sometimes tothe point of manipulation. Many Cancers are afraid of rejection/abandonment(hello Bill’s shitty parents and him holding onto the idea of his brother foras long as possible!) Because they are so caring and sensitive towards theirfriends, they can be quite moody—both anger and sadness. (Bill be Crying andpunching his friends sometimes doe!) Cancers like art and are very imaginative(Bill’s art and writing). When I think of Cancers, I think of tender h*rniness.They fall in love very easily and crave a deep love and can be v thirsty attimes lmao, to me that really encapsulates Bill. Cancer Moons are also verydomestic and love comfort, and while I think Bill likes to go on adventures, Ithink he is someone who enjoys a sort of domestic routine with the people heloves from time to time. Cancer also rules the moon so he’s Extra EmotionalLNRGRG.

Aries Rising: Those with Ariesrising are often leaders, lively, generous, warm, and have a reputation ofbeing a troublemaker. They are rash and jump into situations (HELLO BILL KINGOF DUMB IMPULSE DECISIONS). But, they are very engaging and can be greatmotivational speakers (Neibolt speech teas). They want to help friends to thepoint that if they refuse, an Aries rising individual will refuse to acceptthat rejection. Furthermore, sometimes they can come off a bit like arrogantassholes, but they really do care about their friends and just want to helperklgneg. Aries rising people are very emotional and their impulsiveness cansometimes translate into rushing serious relationships.

Mike:

Libra Sun: Libras are very diplomatic;they bring harmony and balance and can see multiple sides. I think this fitsMike very well, for instance during the scene where the losers are by the PaulBunyan statue, Mike understands why Stan is looking at this logically but healso understands Bill’s emotional reaction. He also understands why Bill andBeverly think they should stay together and help, but he also understands whyRichie/Ben/Stan don’t want to keep going. He tries to get everyone to calm thefuck down and cooperate. Libras hate conflict, aside from Mike’s nonviolence(not wanting to kill the sheep and hesitating to hurt Henry until he knew itwas life or death), he also avoided telling all the losers about why he askedthem to return, showing sometimes his aversion to conflict can be a negative. Librasoften get fixated on one thing—the crazy conspiracist Mike of it all… Iunderstand why people think he could be a Taurus because of his commitment tothe losers and staying in Derry for 27 years, but I think that is super tied tothe idea of bringing justice for those who P*nnywise killed and will try to kill,Libras are super into fighting against injustice. Also, Libras are ruled byVenus and love love and are very charming, I think Mike has a certain pull andmagnetism about him.

Taurus Moon: Individuals withtheir moon in Taurus are very warm, affectionate, and sentimental. They like togather all the facts but can be somewhat impressionable, again I think thismakes sense with how he decides that he believes pennywise exists and hisresearch as he stays in Derry. Speaking of, this line from Mo’s book killed me:“when you’re confronted with a problem you look for the most effective way todeal with it, and even if it’s personally painful for you, you get it handled”.Like. Oh my god. They also like creature comforts—often Taurus is linked withluxury but I think in this sense his ‘luxury’ is his kitschy clutter of thingsthat hold sentimental value—supernatural items, knick knacks from his childhood,his favorite books, etc. He holds these dear and this is probably why his homeis a big ol mess but he likes it and finds it cozy. Speaking of, they are veryromantic and want a life of domesticity, which feels very Mike to me! Theyinvest a lot in their friendships, I think this is true of Mike as well seeingas you know.. he sacrifices years of his life so they can be happy.

Capricorn Rising: Those withCapricorn rising can be quite shy with strangers, but once they get to knowpeople, they are very friendly and warm. They are very dedicated to theirgoals, these goals are often to strive for a better life (Mike wanting to savethe people of Derry, Mike wanting to travel, etc). But sometimes this strivingcan make Cap risings feel unfulfilled and they continue to search for somethingmissing. Capricorn rising individuals are smart and concentrated, they are ableto parse through information and plan ahead, though sometimes they go overevery detail too much—Mike is very into research and understanding things andsearches every possibility. They love deeply and are very loyal and protectiveof those they love. They can worry a lot. Mo also added that cap risings are dependent,reliable, and stable. which can be attributed to mike staying in derry allthose years and keeping that promise to call them. Overall he’s very groundedand down to earth with his rising/moon!

Stan:

Virgo Sun: Virgos are veryanalytical and pay attention to the little details. Often times, this leads tothem being very critical of themselves and others, and they are prone toworrying. I think Stan is someone who tries to navigate through life logically,but he can get caught up in the anxieties of everything going wrong and getoverwhelmed. They often like animals and nature (not to be like Stan likesbirds and plants and shit but he does GLKNRG), and value cleanliness, sometimesthis leads to germaphobia or hypochondria especially because Virgos tend toworry (and we know Stan is a germophobe and deals with OCD, he has to clean thebloody bathroom in a certain way, the painting needs to be perfectly straight,etc.). In friendships, Virgos usually play a role of an advisor—they are veryloyal and want to solve problems but sometimes that means they find problems ineverything (I think Stan tries to advise the group but also Bill is like okaylet’s do it like this

Pisces Moon: Some people view Stanas very emotionless or even angry, but I think he’s quite emotional, he justtries to operate with logic first. Pisces moons are often described as ‘dreamy’and want to escape reality (Stan being like it’s summer let’s just forget what’sgoing on and… other stuff lmao). They are very emotional, but those emotionscan be hard for others to read because they are very mysterious, and even hardfor the individual to express. They have a strange sense of humor (kookiekookie lend me your bonessssss). Those with Pisces moon are very sweet andsensitive to others suffering and are drawn to those in crisis often (like.Literally all of the losers LKGNRKRG) and can be overly trusting (I swear Bill!!!).They are also very afraid of the past coming back to haunt them… :(. Mo the ultimate Stan stan also had this to say: ever since claudia tagged one ofmy posts about stan being one of the most emotional losers but no one evertalking about it, i'm constantly thinking about how stan reacts to things. myinitial reaction was scorpio moon, but scorpio moons are really good at hidingtheir emotions. think about stan's reactions to big events in his life: gettingleft alone in the sewers, his bar mitzvah getting mike's call. he has distinctemotional reactions. pisces is also the sign of sorrow and self-undoing, sothinking back to some canon events it just makes a lot of sense to me. piscesmoons are also really selfless when it comes to their friends, but very strictand disciplined when it comes to themselves.

Aquarius Rising: There’s thissection in Mo’s astrology book that just like. So completely encapsulates Stanand how he interacts with the losers imo: “You are often intolerant of otherpeople’s shortcomings and can be wickedly sarcastic and very funny at the sametime. Your razor-sharp powers of observation help you uncover flaws that youcan poke fun at. You are a system of paradoxes. You enjoy being with people butare perfectly content to be alone. You like to travel but love relaxing athome. You are friendly and outgoing but, at other times, moody and reserved.” Like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Also, those with their rising in Aquarius are very idealistic and want theworld to be happy and harmonious (Stan being like its summer can we chill andnot wanting to be part of any conflict). They can also feel impatient towardsthose who don’t share the same vision.

Beverly: (imma be honest Bev was the hardest toplace so don’t judge lerngerg)

AquariusSun: To me, Aquarians are the epitome of like… chill/friendly stonerthat likes to talk about conspiracy theories and injustices of the world whiley’all are seshing but they are also kinda mysterious bc you never really knowwhats going on in their head …. which is v Bev to me RLGKNNKRG. Aquarians lovehanging out with friends and are really good listeners, which I think is trueof Beverly—they also have odd senses of humor. They are humanitarians that liketo fight for justice, I think Bev is someone who wants to fight for those whoare being hurt bc it’s something she has experienced and wants to provide thehelp that she didn’t get. For instance, she’s the one who’s like we need to gosave Mike, and she also wants to help save Derry and agrees with Bill that theyshould keep fighting Pennywise during the big fight after Neibolt. Aquarians canbe quite paradoxical—at times they are shy, other times loud and eccentric, Ithink this makes sense for Bev, another quality is that those with their sun inAquarius like to have some time alone, both of these things make me think ofthe moments she enjoys on her own and the other times she seeks out fun withthe losers and does crazy shit like jump off a cliff LKGNKNRG. They can bekinda bad at emotional expression and are very guarded with their emotions,sometimes coming of cold/bitchy until they know they can trust someone (Bev toBen at first on the stairs elrkgnerg).

Aquarius Moon: okay Mo wrote this explanation and I thot it was perfect so: Moon in Aquarius brings upthe qualities of sensitivity and perception. Since aqua is the sign of rationalthinking and humanitarianism, moon in Aquarius gives a person a clear mindsetand kinder outlook on life. Moon in Aqauarius are rational, intuitive, andimaginative, which i think can speak for a lot of beverly's character traitsand actions like her monologue in it 2017 where she tries to rationally explainwhy pennywise is going after them and how they have to defeat it, whereaseveryone else is struck by fear and emotional, or at the end of it 2019 whereshe tells richie that eddie is dead, and being intuitive enough to know thatshe has to tell him and tell him in a specific way, the imagination quality isa clear call to her artistic vision as a designer. aqua moons have greatvitality, they're witty conversationalists, and all around great friends. ithink that the friendliness and sociability of her aqua moon can be offset byher sag rising so there's more balance and nuance to her characteristics there.they're interested in the unusual, specifically in people, which could link herto vibing so well with the losers club. they can't stand possessive or jealouslovers, but they unconsciously choose people who aren't available to them (herfirst husband). they need a fine line between commitment and independence,which i think speaks to her behavior as a kid. she needs the stability and thespace to grow she didn't have from her dad. they deeply value platonic love. overall,aqua moons are independent, they have stimulating minds, persuasive charms, anda side of their personality that will always gear towards the unusual

SagittariusRising: Sagittarians love hanging out with their friends, but they alsohave the desire to be free and have adventures (I want to run towardssomething, not away! Queen). They are wise but optimistic, again I think thisties with things like her understanding that they all have to stick together tobeat pennywise, but also believing that they have the ability to kill It aswell. They are humorous and can be quite outgoing and confident, there aretimes when Bev is v confident and wild (teasing Ben, jumping off the cliff,initiating the rock war, etc). Sag risings are also v brave—like every single timeshe fights It or the Bowers or her dad or her husband. They’re good at tellingstories. They are also people who fight for the oppressed and want to createideas that help the world.

Ben:

Pisces Sun: Pisces are super friendlyand will do anything to help others even if they don’t get anything back(Ben!!!!!!!! Ben!!!!!!). They are very compassionate and gentle with others, I thinkthis is very true for Ben as he is p much always super sweet and understanding withthe losers. Their compassion can sometimes lead to being way too trusting—this canbe a problem bc they could fall in with bad company and hate being criticizedand sometimes views themselves as a victim. I don’t think Ben ever tries to like…capitalize on being a victim or anything but I think he does feel that waysometimes especially in regards to Bill/Bev, but he understands that’s her owndecision, again being very compassionate and not expecting anything out of hisactions. Sometimes their strong emotions can manifest in negative ways, likebeing scared, sad, and feeling misunderstood—they also can cry p easily (Ben criesquite a bit for his friends like in the sewers and his own romantic feelingsand stuff). They are super romantic and love unconditionally. They are also quiteintuitive, I think this makes sense (in tandem with the romanticism) withthings like kissing Bev to save her, understanding where to look into stuff inregard to the pennywise bullshit, etc.

Taurus Moon: We’ve talked aboutthis a bit with Mike, but I think Ben is also a Taurus Moon! LunarTaureans are very sentimental and have deep, strong emotions. They are vromantic and hang on to their relationships, both platonic and romantic, (thepostcard…….) they want a devoted and committed relationship that providessecurity. Those with their moon in Taurus really invest a lot in their friendships,I think friendship is one of if not the most important thing to Ben so thismakes a lot of sense to me. There’s a line in one of the sites I looked at thatfeels SO Ben to me: “Taurus moon sign energy has two speeds: relaxed andcontented […] or hyped-up and ready to charge”. That totally reminds me of howBen is usually p chill and easy going but when the people he loves arethreatened he goes crazy to protect them (the rock war scream and him going crazyduring that LGKNNRG and fighting pennywise, etc). While Mike’s affinity for luxuryis more like…. Kitschy clutter trash GLNRG, I think Ben’s interest in architecturefeels v luxurious and the importance of a home base makes sense for him. TaurusMoons also like to gather all the facts first—this makes sense in how heapproaches his friendships/relationships but also other things like investigatingDerry.

Libra Rising: Let’s go diplomatic romanticslet’s goooooooooo!!! Libras want harmony and are therefore good mediators, theywant everyone to have a good time and are good at teamwork. I think this makessense for Ben and can especially be seen in scenes like the reunion dinnerwhere he tries to calm everyone down and let Mike be heard. They are persuasivebut often do so with a ‘nice guy’ approach rather than like Charm andConfidence like Leo/Aries. Again, Libra Risings are SUPER romantic and havegood intuition, they usually know when they have a chance with someone and willcreate an ideal vibe for their relationships to bloom. They like to plan aheadfor the future with their loved ones (hello argument scene where he’s like imgonna be 30 and far away from here). They also feel like they need anotherhalf, which i think is true for romance but also just like. He needs hisfriends and really loves/cares about them. Those with their rising in Libraalso really care about home aesthetics and having a balanced space, again I thinkaiding in his architecture career.

Eddie

Sagittarius Sun: Tbh, I was v tornbetween sag and scorpio for Eddie’s sun, but I think Sagittarius best describeshis sun and Scorpio for his emotional self. Sagittarians are curious and fullof energy, and they value freedom (hello let Eddie be free!!!!!!). They can besuper impatient and tactless with some of the things they say, which is a veryEddie thing to me lernrgge. Furthermore, they can get angry pretty quickly aswell, and often talk quickly too (Eddie speaks so fucking fast and snaps easilyat everyone erglknegr). They also have good senses of humor; they like to teaseothers. Those with sun in Sagittarius are dedicated to their friends and arewilling to do anything… like defy their awful mother and crawl through a sewerwith a broken arm to fight a murderous clown. Sometimes they have blind faithin others, which I think could be translated to his relationship with Bill andto a more intense and negative respect, his mother. Sags want to find knowledgeand understand other people’s beliefs, and they are very vocal about their own,even to the point of exaggeration (like every single rant Eddie goes on LMAO).They also like sports which like LET EDDIE RUNNNN. Also, not to be a reddie butin looking at compatibility with the signs Gemini/Sag fit so much better forthem and made a lot of sense to me.

Scorpio Moon: Those with theirmoon in Scorpio are very emotionally intense and can be quite dramatic. Thiscan allow them to be quite perceptive of the emotions of others. However, theyare very good at hiding their own emotions because they often disprove of themand deny that they are motivated by their strong emotions. (hello repressedEddie). This helps Scorpio moons feel in control, but it can be detrimental. Ireally love this line from Mo’s book: “you must learn to let go emotionally andfeel your pain, and through the experience expand your phenomenalability to love”. Yup lover!!!! Scorpio moons are also very determined andpersistent…. fighter eddie!! Lover and fighter eddie!!! This made me kinda sad,but it says that there’s usually sorrow/trouble in the lives of Moon-Scorpiosand those are often tied to family and health… :/ and that they think ofescapist fantasies to cope with that. Scorpio moons are sensual but thestereotype of ~super sexy scorpio~ is kind of misleading. They have huge trustissues and don’t want to be controlled (oop… also they usually get married multipletimes lmao), it takes a lot for them to be trusting in love but when they do it’sa very deep love.

Virgo Rising: Those with theirrising in Virgo are BIG worriers and are super analytical, they often noticetiny details. (Maybe a dumb thing but Eddie is always the first to notice whenone of their friends is gone in the sewers, also in more funny and little wayslike him sniffing Ben’s perfume—that also ties in with his Sag curiosity imo).However, even though they notice details and can be intuitive, they miss out onemotional nuances. Sometimes they can be a little too forward and matter offact with people—I think Eddie speaks before he thinks a lot LKRG and can saysome rude shit sometimes without realizing it. (Ik this is kinda like my own stuffbleeding through but in general I think Eddie can be oblivious to other’semotions LRNGKNLG). They are very critical—often towards themselves, they areinsecure and beat themselves up over just about every little thing they do (SUCHan Eddie thing to me). Furthermore, they are guarded with their emotions untilthey have analyzed the situation and feel comfortable (again. Very Eddie tome). This often means they come off as timid and at times cold/stand-offish,which I think in new situations or times when Eddie’s unsure (aka has not analyzedeverything and feels unsafe whether physically or with his emotions), he tendsto draw in on himself and stay quiet. (But, then, his fire Sag side comes burstingout when he just can’t take it anymore and goes bonkers LKGRNG). Virgo risingsare organized and care about hygiene and cleanliness and are very in tune withtheir body (of course, Eddie’s obsession with cleanliness and hygiene/healthhas a lot to do with his mother’s abuse, but I also think there are some parts withinhim inherently who care about those things, it just got exacerbated in anextremely negative way bc of his mother). Interestingly, Virgo risings are veryenergetic, often with nervous energy, and have a hard time staying still—this feelsvery Eddie to me, his pacing and emphatic hand gestures, etc.

Richie:

Gemini Sun: Geminis are superwitty and funny and love to have a grand ol’ chaotic time with their friends,but then can turn serious suddenly. Oftentimes they feel restless and feel likethey are missing their other half so to speak (the yearning… the emo moments…).They’re very sociable and hate being alone, they love to entertain others, theyare strong communicators. Their love for communication often means they feelthe need to talk A LOT, even to strangers. (Trashmouth Tozier always talking!—Mopointed out that Richie’s talking is so bad that they had to create a separate phase,beep beep, just to be like We Seriously Want You To Shut Up, which I thinkmakes sense for all his placements bc they’re all like. One’s where the person talksso fucking much GRLNRG my annoying king

Gemini Moon: Yup double geminilove this obnoxious legend!!! (jk I like geminis but. It’s true. I am also sayingthis as a gemini moon). A lot of the stuff about his sun can be applicable herebut I’ll add on bc I am incapable of shutting up (the gemini moon of it all…) Thisis from Mo’s book again, I’ll just add some commentary/examples as to why Ithink it fits with Richie: Gemini moons are mutable and erratic. they have anactive mind, and imaginative and creative personality, and are inclined to intellectualpursuits. they have extraordinary quick sensory impressions of the outsideworld and they rapidly sift through info in their minds to make judgements.fast learners, high iqs probably , good critics and have the ability to bothanalyze and verbalize (despite some fanon interpretations, Richie is actually reallysmart, he’s good at math/science, I believe he’s also into politics later in college?).they have great charm. conversations with gemini moons tend to go off onunexpected tangents and take sudden turns and reverse (This feels SO Richie tome lekrnglenr). at heart, a lunar gemini is essentially restless and needsconstant stim (Makes sense for Richie for me, also with his ADHD, he needs tobe playing video games or reading a comic or doing this and that, he hatedhaving to be look out and do nothing for like an hour ergklnerg). lunargemini's are always mentally assessing their feelings. they tend to dissecttheir feelings and emotions to analyze why they think or behave in a certainway. they're quick witted and vibrant and can change their minds often. inemotional relationships they display a free spirit, going on the whims of theother person's emotions. at times their talent can be isolated because theylose interest in this quickly and drop their projects. they perform well whenin a relationship with someone practical and hardheaded (inch resting……..)

Pisces Rising: Taking some morestuff from Mo’s book, these lines I think really resonate with Richie’s outwardself and how he deals with the world: “You want life to be perfect and since itisn’t, you choose not to see what you don’t want to see”. That is SUCH a Richiething to me. “At parties Rising-Pisceans are vivacious and verbal (sometimesyou talk too much); you enjoy performing in front of a group. A talent formimicry makes many Pisces Ascendants turn to theater”. Literally Richie… the Voices,the talking too much and wanting to entertain the losers…. Those with Piscesrising are also very romantic and want to live a fantasy life, but they can bevery sad and moody especially because they feel like they are destined to bealone. (Richie yearning gay….) They are also quite disorganized but work wellin groups (let’s go loserssss clubbbbbb!!!).

[kalira]

CATS movie thoughts~

(post mirrored from Pillowfort here)

I went to see the new CATS movie with @mad-madam-m yesterday (we've been planning this since the first trailer dropped) and it was actually a) better than I expected, and b) enjoyable, which was a nice surprise! (I expected us to enjoy it because it was entertainingly bad, honestly.)

I've loved CATS since I saw the Broadway version as a kid, and listened repeatedly (incessantly) to the soundtrack thereof back then - and at times even these days - and was delighted to see a production of it when it came to our city when I was small.

The movie left me with 2-3 major issues and a handful of quibbles. . . I have not organised them at all, but here are my thoughts.

. . .which I am putting under a cut because I had a lot more to say than I thought, apparently.

I am not surprised they did an outsider character to be an audience surrogate, but *SIGH*

Also . . . Victoria? Whose characterisation in the stage show is 'excellent ballerina'?

I know that's why they chose her, they could fill her in as they chose, but it was weird to have a cat who left almost no impression in the stage show as the 'main character'

Okay I admittedly missed that they apparently folded in Jemima/Sillabub to her as well, but that really doesn't make me feel any better

Did we have to have the incredibly forced romantical feeling type focus?

Not to mention we had some oddness towards that with Munkustrap initially

Then there was Misto falling tail over paws - because he bumbles through everything - at her

Then the oddness of the Munjojerrie and Rumpelteazer song which was probably not supposed to added the both of them to that list, if more briefly

Holy heckies adding a new song for the new central character was not a bad idea but literally anywhere else in the goddamn movie, and not spinning off of Memory oh my lord all the no it was so cringe

Look you cannot build off of Memory as 'but I have it worse than you so feel better'

Who has it worse is never a good game to play at all, playing it here was so cringey

'What's a Jellicle?'

Okay I know, audience surrogate, but oof

Actually let me skip back - the CGI did not bother me that much and it's like 99% of the ranting I have seen about this since the very first trailer. It never bothered me that much.

The cats were made a bit more plain; that bothered me.

Let them have ruffs, especially the toms, wtf did you remove those for it looks a) weird, and b) wrong for cats

However the show really can only be played by humanoid cats, I think, or it . . . look, the production wouldn't work with more catlike cats

The addition of dialogue stringing together the songs and adding more plot elements and freedom to work with them was really not an issue in my opinion

It strung together the slightly expanded plot in a way it really needed

It wasn't that jarring or awkward, to me

Misto, oh baby, why oh why did they do that to you~

Mister Mistoffeelees, who is an aloof, confident, and incredibly skilled magician in the stage show is made into a nervously fumbling barely-past-kitten who fails at almost every bit of magic he attempts (and falls and trips rather a lot as well, when he's a brilliantly graceful dancer in the stage show)

It was painful, oh sweetie

I can guess part of why they did it, but it was not well done and I don't think it was necessary

Misto's magic was painful; not because it was painful itself but because he was so bad at it, and everyone expected him to fail every time he tried

Misto using his magic for Gus' song, for dramatic effect? I thought it was really great and also really sweet

Actually Misto being so starry-eyed at Gus was adorable all around

That could have been put in even with Misto being his confident stage self, in fact it could have been super cute to have him be composed and confident and then go to an overexcited kitten with Gus in front of him

The absence of the Conjuring Turn was so sad, it is a star point of Misto

Look I'm not a fan of the 'awkward bumbling male finds his confidence because of the unwavering (with no reason) faith of the new female love interest' trope in general, having it wedged in here suddenly did not make me like it any more

Upon the note of Misto, the rescue of Deuteronomy . . . was very badly timed on the beats, and badly done (I felt) when it finally happened.

I didn't expect her to show up when Misto first tried

I semi-expected the second time, but okay

When she didn't show up the third time it stopped being any kind of suspense - especially since, let's be real, the plot is not really a huge mystery - and became 'okay so . . . what are we doing instead now?'

And then the fourth try, when she did appear, it was done very anticlimactically

Deuteronomy being female didn't really bother me but it left me a bit eh

Judi Dench is awesome, but Deuteronomy not really singing is weird

Also, let Judi Dench's Deuteronomy have been implied to have had 9 - or 99 - wives you cowards

. . .plus that line being altered to be another repeat of 'Old Deuteronomy's had many lives, some may say ninety-nine' . . . it was awkward/clunky and felt over repetitious

Jennyanydots . . . oof, poor hon

Jennyanydots is a mature and above all sweetly sincere queen in the stage show

She honestly wants to better the mice and the cockroaches, and it's a bit silly perhaps, but she is determined to do it - and does

And the other cats respect her and, more, they genuinely care very much for her it seems

And she's earnest

I expected her to be played more for comedy given who was cast to play her, but the extent of it felt not great, to be honest, even before the other cats began to feel like they were mocking her a bit

Not to mention - the joke about the mice being dinner and a show I could let pass despite being very different from Jennyanydots as she originally was, but actually eating cockroaches as it went was a bit too far

As I told M when we were discussing the movie after the showing, it was like, I was rolling with it, and then they rolled too far

Also on that note? The CGI mice were a bit o.O - when the CGI cockroaches started marching my thought was actually 'oh, this won't feature in my nightmares at all'

They won't actually but they were kind of horrifying

I did like the cats watching with that alert, slightly twitchy focus of a cat seeing a small moving creature

The traditional costume change looked . . . weirder and creepier with the CGI than costume work

Bustopher Jones went from a dignified figure to a ridiculous one

It was again rather terrible to watch, wince-worthy

Prancing through the rubbish bins and splatting through things instead of his usual stage show refinement and rather snobbishness? Oof

Bustopher has always been respected, even specifically so because of his size, making his weight a joke and/or something he's 'extra sensitive' about was . . . so unnecessary

The Rum Tum Tugger has always been my favourite, since I was a wee tiny Kalira

. . .he was blessedly not so bad as I feared - and even went back closer to the rocker cat (complete with flirtatious tease nature) than the rap adaptation I have heard of and been continually ohgodwhy no at

However, why did they discard the few details of his character that are not a self-important flirt?

He's not even focused at that - in the stage show I am accustomed to he is very much a determined performer, basking in being adored

he was a bit 'oo shiny' and kept ignoring his adoring audience in the movie?

In the stage show he is also around to drop in playful lines from time to time

Also he sings a good chunk of Misto's song and brags him up, as well as pieces of other songs

While he claims to be distant and aloof, and may somewhat be, he continually comes back and causes minor disruptions for his own (and others') amusement in the stage show

He also protectively shelters some of the kittens more than once

Misto's barb was kept in but sounded more like a jealous, anxious attempt to detract attention instead of a teasing barb at an egotistical friend

Along with many of the songs, Tugger's was altered so that it is entirely sung about himself, and as with many of them, I felt it was better with some of the lines from another singer

Though his is not so bad as many, perhaps because he's already talking himself up

I wasn't really surprised to find he's changed from the inspirations I remember from the stage show and when I was little (Mick Jagger and David Bowie, mother told me when I got older XD) but it was still a little bit of a disappointment

Also a bit random, when mostly the soloing cats - at least/especially the ones singing for themselves in front of all the others - were competing in the formalised 'who gets to ascend' spread, that Tugger is evidently not

Mungojerrie & Rumpleteazer were kind of fantastic and then kind of wtf for me

me, during their song, as they pulled Victoria along with them to play and cause all manner of mischief in the house: I don't think I'm intended to be shipping Victoria with both of them now, but I definitely am

me, at the end of their song, as they deliberately abandoned Victoria strangling and trapped as a dog came barrelling up after her with saucy nonchalance: . . .what the fuck?

me, when they were helping with Macavity's attack directly: excuse me no

I know they're said to be 'rumoured' to help him out in the stage show but this was very different

Yeah they said here that it was 'only a bit of fun' and they didn't know Macavity was planning to kidnap Deuteronomy, but . . . no

I did actually like their colouration redesign, making them I think the only cats I did in the entire movie

The lack of their tumbling and acrobatics was a bit sad, though their song and playful successsion of running about, Victoria in tow, was fun

Macavity was played super well considering he has no lines in the stage show so rather little to go on, and the expansion of his plot was honestly understandable - I mean, CATS has a heck of a thin plot for a musical, let alone a movie

One of the things that bothered me about him was honestly that his song where he is described he is described as ginger and poorly-combed

He's played by Idris Elba and his fur is sleek rich brown

He looks great, but alter the lines, you've already altered several, including Deuteronomy's because of the genderswap

On that note, the plot expansion in general . . . it was way better than I feared

I was afraid they were going to wedge in another plotline alongside the (very thin/hardly there, admitted) one in the stage show and it wouldn't go well

On the other hand the making the Jellicle Ball an official competition was a little eh to me

The more I think about it the less I like it even, really

I suppose it had to be, maybe, to work with expanding Macavity's plot and actions, but I don't care for it (and I think it could probably have been worked around)

I could have done without the queens being actively aggressive to Grizabella, oof that was owch

They recoil and hiss and act like she has the plague or a curse, very disdainful of her, in the stage show, and it works well

Having the queens actively attack her, not only hissing but instead of recoiling circling her and closing in on her to slash at her? It was . . . not good

So I guess the lead queen that I noticed doing that the most is . . . Cassandra? I honestly thought it was supposed to be Bombalurina

Bombalurina only showed up as Macavity's chief singer and queen underling, to distract and drug everyone

Really? Yeah some of the queens sing about Macavity in the stage show, but Bomba is even the one who comforts Demeter when Macavity's presence freaks her out (in what seems like a trauma reaction, rather) in the stage show

I have no idea who is supposed to be Demeter, the queens were all but interchangeable background, really most of the chorus cats were

Which brings up the theme of a lot of the cats being unrecognisable to me, honestly, and/or having their roles remixed a little, or straight-up lessened

Skimbleshanks was awesome, and his song/number was perhaps even better than in the stage show

The tap-dancing along the rails? Awesome

The cats playing around in the sleeper cabin was also pretty great honestly

 I will say when Skimbles appeared my immediate impression was of a very specific within-the-LGBT+-community gay man stereotype

Also I am terribly amused that he's wearing half a suit of clothes and it's the opposite half that he was in the stage production I'm most familiar with

Munkustrap was rather different, still a large part of keeping things going, if not the same way

Less serious than I'm used to? Not that he's only serious, but still

He made the best faces, like, it rescued a few awkward moments

At least a handful of moments that made me go 'this is so very not the Munkustrap I know' characterisation-wise

With the battle removed and a few other things, many of the moments that make his personality shine were gone

No seeing him lunge into action as the Jellicle Protector, basically

No seeing him trying to manage the little play-within-a-play put on for Deuteronomy (even when Tugger causes mischief) although I can't blame them for cutting both of those

No seeing him shield the kittens or younger/other cats without hesitation

Instead there was mostly just the slightly silly characterisation that showed in the moments between in the movie, it seemed to me

Gus the theatre cat was another of those whose song was rewritten to be sung by themselves, though his is the most notable for that, given he barely sings at all in the stage show

I really think it worked better the other way

But they gave me Ian McKellen being awesome in that song so I am okay with this

Also, Gus using a bit of that to scare Growltiger off the ferry and into the Thames? Fabulous

Misto's song - I talked about him and about Deuteronomy's rescue, but the song

I love having it led in by Tugger in the stage show, and I love having Tugger brag him up

Tugger is good at that, honestly, it so suits his style

Misto needs a bit of bragging up, especially for this moment

First of all, changing it up so Misto sings most of it himself instead is a bit sketchy

Changing it so it becomes less of a confident, showy number and instead is Misto being so anxious he can barely sing and constantly checking reactions . . . that made it worse

Next up, changing it from Tugger - who reads as friendly to Misto, in the stage show - leading in Misto's song and encouraging the others to praise him, to Victoria who has only just met him and all the other cats being dubious as they join in. . . I did not like

My shipper heart: why would you take that away it was excellent interaction!

My non-shipper heart: why would you take that away it makes much more sense and it also makes a lovely balance with Misto teasing Tugger during his song and shows that Tugger took it in the light-hearted spirit (they're friends, they're there for each other) it seemed to be

Also that it was so sweet a bit of interplay they took it away from Tugger to give to Misto's Sudden Romantic Interest in the movie, with zero changes otherwise? I have some side-eye.

I already mentioned the rescuing Deuteronomy beats being all wrong, but it also left me thinking we'd be getting less of Misto's song and it was oddly broken-up when we did get more

The catnip usage had me a bit o.O I'll be honest, for several reasons

Erwhat with the drugging everyone in that scene?

The glowing I'm going to assume is to show that it's having an effect on the cats, but it came off a bit weird to me

There were several cats it looked like were 'trying to escape' the catnip who most definitely had/should have already been hit

Also how did the cats assisting Macavity avoid being affected? Bombalurina at first made sense, sprinkling it below herself, none of it after that did

Wow Macavity's song and climax there with the stairs right up to the 'Heaviside Layer' in his stage display? So cocky! An unwise cat

Deuteronomy smacking him down? Very nice

Continuing to do so when he disappeared them both? Even better

I was really rather surprised not to see the melee battle among the cats in the climax with Macavity

Of course that also took away some of the drama, aaand some of the chorus cats, especially the toms', chances to shine

The queens were pretty indistuingishable from each other but at least we saw them somewhat, the toms mostly seemed to be entirely background blur

Growltiger being added in as Macavity's henchcat was actually kind of great? Watching over the kidnapped cats and as a secondary (and subordinate) Bad Tom, yes

In contrast to the mischievous Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer being used that way, I am so there for it

Grizabella was . . . a little disappointing?

She was played wonderfully! But she could have been played more

Seriously, fabulous actress there for her and they did nothing with her other than her songs and crying while singing them?

The stage production I'm familiar with has more than that with her and less time

Let her be proud and trying to gather herself up

Let her be dubious of herself and/or the others

Let her stand aside as though she doesn't even want to rejoin them after being turned aside

Look there's lots more that could have been done in the space there was with her in the movie (and without involving Victoria so much as she was, which was still a bit cringey outside Victoria's song, but at least not so badly)

She 'went with Macavity'? Felt a little unnecessary and also . . . hrm, to me

The stage show doesn't explain why the Jellicles reject her or where she was

I honestly always assumed she left on her own - Grizabella the Glamour Cat? - to make her own way, and eventually fell from grace

It was also a little strange to see her so young

Deuteronomy making the choice also felt . . . a little flat to me

I'm not sure what I was expecting or what the problem was

Regardless, it felt a little lacking somehow

I was impressed with how they had Grizabella's ascension managed, since that would be necessity be rather different from the stage show

Also great for Misto keeping some of his confidence from his song and rescue for this bit

Macavity trying to leap on and hitch a ride to the Heaviside Layer was excellent, and his getting stuck and having his magic not work to get himself un-stuck? Great

I do wonder - is his magic entirely broken, or just not working to catch his ride on Grizabella's balloon again?

The Ad-Dressing of Cats feels a bit awkward in a stage production to me; having a close-up of Judi Dench staring at me in the movie screen, for an extended time, did not make it better

Also the prologue bits about the naming of cats and what a Jellicle is were both changed and so there was no semblance of something similar in the beginning

I still think it would have been awkward, but if it bracketed the movie with the fourth wall breaks it might have worked better

The faces of the three cats close around Deuteronomy as she recited the entirety of that - which felt too long - were the only things that kept it being too awful

Munkustrap was the best in that

Misto looking horrifically embarrassed a few times and hiding behind his hat once . . . oh baby, I feel

'You're a Jellicle now!'

There's a Jellicle Ball once a year, see you then

So . . . for now, goodbye to your butt that was thrown in a sack into a junkyard we immediately ran away from

Rather than it being the Jellicles' (second, in some cases) home

I know your whole arc has been please accept me, see me, give me a place to be

But run off on your own, see you in a year

Seriously Victoria could have followed Misto, or Munkustrap, or Mungojerrie & Rumpleteazer, or anyone

Even Munku's mate could have, say, come up and encouraged Victoria to come with them

Not that we saw enough to assume he had one, still don't know who was supposed to be Demeter, but beside the point

It was a rough ending there

. . .I had a lot to say, and I'm not willing to swear that I didn't repeat myself anywhere - if I did I apologise - or skip over things I might have wanted to say. I saw the movie 24 hours ago and wrote most of this when I should have been asleep.

I did enjoy the movie and will probably watch it again - I also plan to watch the Broadway version again very soon (as soon as the library brings it to me) and have been listening to the Broadway soundtrack since yesterday afternoon.

(I may also be writing more for this fandom soon, but we'll see about that.)

[go-bonkers-go-foolish]

ALL RIGHT LADS

so some of y’all may remember the story of the best production of Hamlet i’ve ever seen

well welcome to the sequel

the best production of romeo and juliet i’ve EVER seen

in my ENTIRE life

again. it’s gonna be a long one

so.

this production was also put on by my little brother’s middle school class

it was WILD

literally

the theme was the wild west

they have a spaghetti dinner beforehand so it was a literal spaghetti western

the kid who played romeo, the one i used to babysit, also played hamlet last year

the kid has a flair for the dramatic

he was the most dumbass romeo i’ve ever seen and it worked so well with the show

the girl playing juliet was new this year, and she was INCREDIBLE

she’s the quietest kid but she has such a stage presence??

she also has this lovely demeanor that made everything juliet said sound really earnest and sincere

she literally said the first three words of the balcony speech and my wig was GONE y’all, it was SO BEAUTIFUL

((during the balcony scene, she was standing at a podium and romeo was just straight up lying on the ground and it might have been the funniest thing i’ve ever seen))

((romeo did a lot of lying on the ground dramatically))

my friend who played nurse already has a southern accent, but her delivery was s e n d i n g m e 

she sounded like ye olde miley cyrus on crack

the kid playing benvolio was such a sweetie

i’ve known him since he was a baby and he just has the one brain cell but it is heart shaped and he is full of Love for Everything™

benvolio also just had the one brain cell

the kid playing friar lawrence apparently didn’t own a poncho or anything so he wore a burlap bag that someone cut a hole in

my little brother was tybalt and BOY lemme tell you

he had on this ridiculous poncho thing and a bandanna

he looked like a crackhead but he was actually really awesome???

especially considering he’s always like “oh, acting is your thing, blah blah blah”

oh, man, MERCUTIO

lemme tell y’all

the girl playing her had on a flannel and cowboy hat

also everyone kept saying “mercuRtio” and trying to be southern and it was hell on my ears but also hysterical

juliet had two moms and my soul ascended

they were both wearing flannels

the capulets said Gay Rights™

also in that one scene where they give Peter the invite list, they both left and peter just looks out at the audience and says in the most forlorn voice “i can’t read...........”

i was LOSING IT

paris was just??? not in the show??? honestly good riddance

nurse called romeo a dishrag and i was HOLLERING

romeo also had two moms!!!!

the montagues, coincidentally, also said Gay Rights™

this teeny gal was the prince and it was so funny, literally everyone onstage was like “oh shit the prince, he’s so scary and intimidating” and she’s like four foot nine and talked like a lil mouse

friar john had on the biggest, stupidest cowboy hat i’ve ever seen in my life and i was living for it

also.

HOLY SHIT.

DURING THE BALLROOM SCENE WHERE ROMEO AND JULIET MEET???

nurse goes “strike up the band” and FUCKING ‘OLD TOWN ROAD’ STARTS BLASTING FROM THE SPEAKERS

AT FIRST EVERYONE WAS JUST WALKING IN CIRCLES TO THE BEAT AND THEN HE GOES “I GOT THE HORSES IN THE BACK” AND ROMEO AND JULIET JUST STRAIGHT UP START S Q U A R E  D A N C I N G

i was on the goddamn GROUND y’all

tybalt said “you’ve yeed your last haw” to romeo during the fight scene

“you’re like one of those guys that puts his gun on the bar and goes ‘sure hope i never have to use this’ then two drinks in you pull it on the bartender for being slow” -mercutio, to benvolio

“if i fought like you i’d have some HIGH LIFE INSURANCE” -benvolio, in response

juliet had on the prettiest dress i was literally about to cry

when romeo got exiled and went to go see the friar, they yelled back and forth for a hot minute, then romeo just,,,,lay down on the ground and started crying and lemme tell you if that ain’t the MOOD OF THE CENTURY

the wedding scene consisted of the friar in a bucket hat going “ok let’s get you two married” and then they just left?????

when tybalt died he goes “aaaaaaaaaaagh” and just fell down onto his face and it was actually hilarious

also when mercutio got stabbed she just goes “AAAAAAAAAAGHHHH I’VE BEEN STABBED.,,,,,,,,it HURT,,,,,,,,” and then let benvolio’s scrawny ass drag her off and it was the most in-character death scene i’ve ever seen

when lord cap was like “hey maybe DON’T kill romeo at my party” Tybalt just went in the corner and stared at people for the rest of the scene and honestly i felt that

mercutio had on a cowboy hat, did i mention the cowboy hat yet

nurse had on thigh-high cowboy boots you guys

THIGH

HIGH

COWBOY

BOOTS

i don’t even know where she got them

literally everyone was wearing flannel, a stupid hat, or both

i still haven’t gotten over romeo and juliet having their first meeting

the most famous romance scene IN HISTORY

literally the dance that sets the whole damn plot in motion to goddamn Old Town Road

side note, nothing’s ever gonna be funnier that benvolio in that scene

he was leading some kind of weird conga line before the square dance started???

just aggressively stomping the ground to the beat with his hands on his hips 

“i’m gonna (S T O M P) my (S T O M P) to the (S T O M P) town (S TO M P), i’m gonna (S T O M P) riiiiiiiiide till i (S T O M P) no more”

juliet’s all “then let lips do what hands do, you kiss by the book, blah blah blah, give me my sin again” and fuckin’ billy ray’s in the background like “I G O T  T H E  H O R S E S  I N  T H E  B A C K”

i got a video and i’m going to watch it on a loop for two days

anyway so yeah that’s the best production of romeo and juliet i’ve ever seen**

thanks for reading lads

**live production. the dicaprio version is still the best version of all time and y’all can fight me on this

[sk-salazar]

Here are my favorite things and some amazing observations about “Change Your Mind”. Needless to say, there are spoilers.

💖 Those cute rainbow caterpillar bois that Pink brought to Homeworld. And the image in my head of them chasing the Pearls. 😂 Someone needs to draw that.

💖 That DejaBlue pun.

💖 Connie standing up to Mama Blue and using her strict parents to her advantage.

💖 Steven standing up for his support of fusion instead of just giving Blue an empty apology.

💖 Blue realizing that she was wrong to use her emotional manipulation powers on her loved ones all these eons. And her comment about Homeworld failing Pink instead of Pink failing Homeworld. So many kids who defy the status quo need to hear this.

💖 Blue hiding the kids in her hair loop.

💖 The symbolism behind Steven throwing off his Pink Diamond getup and putting on his own clothes to confront White. (Maybe they’re just more comfortable, but I feel like there’s a clear message there.)

💖 Blue saying, “She prefers to be called Steven.” Even if she didn’t use a male pronoun, I can see a message here of accepting your trans kid and defending their chosen identify. Even if it causes a strain in your marriage.

💖 Connie’s courage (again!) to stand up to Yellow. Everyone kept blaming Connie for “blowing Steven’s chance to talk to White” because she fused with him. And Connie’s statement about changing the rules for everyone was the best clapback to that. Steven knows he’s right. Steven knows that servitude is wrong. He knows that denying who you want to be and not loving who you want to love is wrong. So if he is to confront White Diamond, he must do it on his terms, not hers.

💖 Yellow crying of her own volition.

💖 Connie’s “face-off” pun and all the hand puns about the ships. 😂 And Bismuth wanting to uppercut an upper crust. The writing for this episode was 🔥.

💖 Steven saying “GASP!” instead of actually gasping. 😂

💖 Lapis’ and Peridot’s new forms! I’m so in love with Lapis’ palazzo pants and golden sandals! She looks like she has so much more personality now. 💙💚

💖 Peridot saying, “Who needs thumbs?” even tho they’re the reason humans are an advanced species. 😂

💖 Steven’s observation about all his forms. Pink represented the “flight” response and Rose represented the “fight” response. Both of which are primitive responses to conflict. Meanwhile, Steven represents using logic and compassion to foster dialogue. He’s the most ascended form.

💖 Blue saying, “In order to fix [our family], we must admit that it’s broken.” Here, she voices the most common fear of those people who always push back against progress.

💖 Yellow telling Steven to #TakeAKnee . I see what you did there, Sugar Woman. 😏

💖 Yellow having the courage to tell White that “we need to talk about us”. (I love all the throwback references in this episode! One of which is this line, which is a throwback to the episode about Greg and Rose.)

💖 Steven telling White to “let us in your head” or to “get out of your head”. To be “in your head” means that you’re self-centered and unconcerned about the world around you. Again, that 🔥 writing.

💖 Amethyst’s owl pun. 😂

💖 Steven fusing with all the Crystal Gems to save them. Not only was it a great idea in an emergency, but it’s a great plot device. It gives us the answer to our questions about who all the Steven fusions are, thereby making it easier to wrap up the show sometime in the near future.

💖 The new fusions!!! Rainbow Quartz is a posh twink, Sunstone is a positive, 80’s rapper-esque cool dude role model for kids and Obsidian fucking Te Ka.

💖 Rainbow Quartz blowing a raspberry, Rainbow Quartz blasting off with a literal rainbow trail, Rainbow Quartz’s “two stones and one bird” joke. Just, Rainbow Quartz. 🌈

💖 The Crystal Gems forming a cheerleading pyramid to form Obsidian and Pearl doing a Swedish Alps move.

💖 That badass fucking shot of Obsidian’s multiple arms. As well as that epic music they played for her scene.

💖 The Crystal Gems’ new forms. Pearl has completely thrown off that flimsy veil thing that all Pearls have. (Which is a symbol of servitude to her.) And now, her outfit is a lot more conventionally human. (Maybe a sign that she wants to pursue Mystery Girl?) Also, the Star is on her back, representing her putting her past as a Crystal Gem behind her. Now, she’s just Pearl and she just wants to live her own chosen purpose.

Garnet has both red and blue in her corset. After Ruby and Sapphire spent time apart, Ruby realized that she liked being with Sapphire while still being herself. Maybe Sapphire came to the same conclusion. Maybe they both came to the conclusion that they’re not two halves of a whole. They’re two whole beings in one pair.

💖 Bismuth loving Connie enough to make her a custom non-Rose Quartz-themed sword. I love how much she loves and protects the new crew.

💖 The Great and Lovable Peridot declaring that she’s Homeworld’s savior.

💖 As unnerving as it is, I love the way White tries to mess with Steven’s head. She talks about Yellow’s, Blue’s and Pink’s impurities making them dependent on each other. (Essentially, colored diamonds are created because of impurities.) And also how Pink surrounds herself with outcasts in order to be considered normal or good. I don’t agree with any of her statements, but you’ll often hear bigots use the same kind of logic to justify their worldview, which really makes this show hit home in many ways. I have to admit, her words kind of messed with my head, too. For a moment, I had some intrusive thoughts, wondering if I believed what I believe so that I could be “the best of the worst”. I snapped out of it really quick, mind you. But this was an incredibly effective speech.

💖 Amethyst calling White a dirt wad. 😂 She has NO chill.

💖 Again, White Diamond being an absolute villain when she says, “Now I’ve removed all their flaws. Now they are perfect, now they are ME.” This could be an interpretation of God. He sees free will as a mistake because his creations choose NOT to glorify him and NOT to be molded in his image. So many awesome sneak-disses of real people in this episode. 😎👏🏼

💖 Yellow Pearl’s silly Pink Steven line turning out to be foreshadowing. 🤦🏻‍♀️

💖 The palpable representation of self-love in the form of Steven adoring his own form. Also, there’s a throwback to Rose Quartz saying, “Every time you love yourself or you love being yourself, that’s me loving you and loving being you.” Steven really is Pink’s ascended form. The song in the credits is from Pink to Steven.

💖 Rose Quartz and Pink being gone for good. So many stories have characters that come back to life and it seems like death loses meaning nowadays. As much as I love Rose, I’m here for her never coming back. Especially because that represents Pink/Rose/Steven growing and moving on. Just as we never go back to our old, naive selves, neither should Pink.

💖 Steven being equal to White in power, apparently. She was shook with that scream of his! And he took his sweet ass time walking towards his meat suit. That’s power right there.

💖 White saying, “I only want you to be yourself and if you can’t do that, I’ll do it for you.” A perfect representation of people nowadays forcing people to deny their true identities through draconian laws, unwritten social codes and bigoted statements.

(“You do not look like this, you do not sound like this, you are Pink Diamond” = “If you have a penis/vagina, you’re a man/woman.” “That gender doesn’t exist.” “Men and women are supposed to be with each other because...reproduction.” “You can live together, but don’t call it marriage.” Etc, etc.)

💖 The best line in the whole show: “I AM a child. What’s your excuse?” What a sweet, heartfelt way to remind us of the pilot episode, when all this magic got started. 😭

💖 White Diamond interpreted Pink’s “impurity” as warmth earlier. All this time, she thought that being “perfect” meant being detached, cold, unsympathetic, overbearing and cruel. But she becomes more likeable and multi-faceted when she absorbs Pink’s warmth/light. Without it, she’s a creepy, aloof puppet master. But with it, she becomes the same old White that the Diamonds loved. She changed quite easily, so that indicates to me that she felt the need to remove her emotions to become a more effective leader. (Kind of like how people with broken hearts often vow never to love again.) There should be a future exploration on this. Did she remove her own emotions? Did she do it in order to detach herself from grieving for Pink? Or did a higher, more eldritch power do this to her? 🤔 Either way, Pink’s warmth is the antidote to all forms of frigidity. For all that guff about her perfect white light penetrating everyone, she sure got shown a thing or two. 😁

💖 Apparently, Pink Pearl is okay-ish. She probably still has the trauma of being taken from Pink and having her eye cracked. But she apparently has no memory of being controlled. I was so tormented for the last month, wondering if poor Pink Pearl was screaming for freedom, trapped inside her own body. 😢

💖 Steven’s throwback to the song he sung to Lars and Sadie when they were stranded on the island. “If you let others just be whoever they are, maybe you could let yourself be whoever you are” is a throwback to “Let Yourself Just Be Wherever You Are”. It’s also a perfect message to people who rely on bigotry and forcefulness to serve as their whole identity.

💖 Sadie’s green hair. 💚 What a look! And Greg is such a good guy that he’s allowed Sadie and her band to play his song. ☺️ Also, her literal mic drop when the Diamond mothership lands above her. 🤣

💖 The way our perfect cinnamon roll always brings people together. The way he introduces the off-colors to the Diamonds like it’s NBD, like there hasn’t been eons of bad blood between them. And the way White is willing to say hello to them first. What a good grandma. ☺️ It’s funny that earlier on, White said that Pink inspires others to be their worst selves. Yet whenever Steven does stuff like this, it inspires me to be my best self. And many other fans too, I’m sure!

💖 Lars being kind to Lion. ☺️

💖 The off-colors and corrupted-now-uncorrupted Gems finally getting their happily ever after. ☺️

💖 Jasper still retaining a scar of her corruption. Because no one ever comes back unscathed and that little detail makes this story so much more real to us. Also, the way Amethyst explained everything to her, even after the way Jasper had bullied her.

💖 Yellow throwing up some deuces as the mothership was blasting off. 😂✌🏼 There is hope for these Diamonds after all.

💖 Steven’s closing song. What a perfect message to sum up the entire episode. 😍

[cookiefonster666]

hey it’s time for more homestuck epilogue ramblings, this time about jade

Again basically a mirror of a recent Blogger post. I have quite a few other posts about the epilogues on my blogs, but most of them I don’t quite feel comfortable posting here.

Content warning: This post contains some discussion of sexual content, starting from the header "The Candy (in Candy)". Read at your own discretion.

The Not-So-Wonderful World of Shafted Characters

Enter Jade Harley, the character who's been an odd spot in the comic's sprawling cast since day one. She starts as basically just a plot device but becomes a genuine wonderful character in Act 5. But after that point, she gets an upsettingly small amount of screen time and is rudely stripped from the on-screen dialogue reunions most everyone else gets. And by the time Collide and Act 7 happen, the comic has done away with dialogue. Yeah, that sure is fun.

So obviously, one of my biggest hopes for the epilogue was that Jade would get a full strong resolution, perhaps with dialogue "reunions" she should have gotten or with a major new role in the storyline. Jade did get plenty of dialogue early in Meat and some in Candy and it was pretty great, but what ultimate resolution did her character get? Fucking nothing!!! No resolution in Meat, no resolution in Candy.

The epilogues did a LOT of things right, don't get me wrong. Each of the twelve creators on Earth C gets a good share of screen time and I think the epilogues are reasonably balanced in that regard—far more balanced than late Act 6 was. But the epilogues are incredibly imbalanced in giving characters resolution. Some characters had an astounding resolution arc that far surpassed my already high expectations!!! But for one reason or another, some characters get the opposite of resolution arcs—you probably know who I'm talking about. I'll have to talk about those another time. And as I said before, Jade doesn't even get a resolution. I'll discuss exactly how she doesn't get a resolution, first in Meat and then in Candy.

The Candy (in Meat)

Earth C Jade's first appearance in Meat is a conversation with Dave and Karkat about politics and romance. We quickly learn that she's in an unresolved love triangle with both of them. Continuing the time-honored tradition of Harleyberts not understanding how love works, Jade clumsily tries to set up a three-way romance with Karkat and Dave and misunderstands everything about the quadrants along the way. I found that scene absolutely hilarious and a surprisingly on-point satire of how fans think of character shipping. As per tradition, Jade tries to solve everyone's problems through a shipping grid because obviously that's worked spectacularly in the past. Also, she literally fucking says Dave and Karkat are "kind of like moirails". I don't know about you, but I found that one particular line to be the funniest shit in the world.

It's already apparent that Jade has changed quite a bit from last time we saw her. She's considerably more airheaded and free-flowing, and her most prominent trait now is her severe lack of social skills. This change makes a lot of sense considering Jade's history. She was still almost entirely human after ascending to god tier, but that has changed over the years. Now she has lots of dog hormones, a tail, and you-know-what. Not to mention this is the Jade that spent three years with John and Davesprite dead. It also fits into an interesting pattern I've noticed: generally speaking, the less screen time a character got in late Act 6, the more that character has changed by the start of the epilogues. Think about John and Dave, how much they retain from how they acted in A6A6I5. Now think about Jane Crocker. Jane FUCKING Crocker. I think it's no coincidence that the character fans have always regarded as boring is now basically a full-blown antagonist. Now think about Gamzee MOTHERFUCKING Makara. ... uh, actually no, I don't recommend you think about him. My point is, I'd say the epilogues succeeded at parodying the comic's fans while simultaneously paying tribute to them, and Jade's first dialogue in Meat is no exception.

The Meat

Next up, Jade presents the political situation to Roxy and Calliope and discusses a few more things in her Jade fashion until suddenly she falls into a coma, her soul now possessed by god tier Calliope who herself inhabits a different iteration of Jade. There she goes, that's the end of Meat Jade's character arc. She's now once more a shameless plot device pushed around by the whims of fate—how's that for going full circle? The few times afterwards where Jade speaks, it's only brief intermissions between being possessed by the Dead Cherub or getting knocked out by Dirk so he can have the narration back.

Basically, Jade ends Meat having completed an enormous circle of stupidity: plot device -> good character -> shafted character -> changed character -> plot device. It actually is a fitting ending now that I think of it, especially in the half that's more focused on tying plot threads. But it feels annoying considering what kind of ending Jade gets, or rather doesn't get, in Candy. Let's go over it, shall we?

The Candy (in Candy)

Jade's first appearance in Candy isn't too different from her first appearance in Meat: a conversation about romance and politics with Dave and Karkat, the two roommates who are (not) dating each other and both most certainly (not) dating Jade. A bunch of stuff I already said two headers ago.

... And then things get weird. Really fucking weird. Our heroes get paired into four romantic groups forming basically the Buddy System 2.0, which is even more unnatural and freaky than the first one was. Most of those groups start having kids, but Jade's group—her, Dave, and Karkat—has issues that aren't quite easy to sort out. Now here's where I have to talk about the elephant in the room: Jade's penis. Or as fans call it, "dog dick".

The middle section of Candy all but outright confirms what was once an absurd headcanon. At a glance, it directly contradicts what Hussie himself said about Jade before, that she only has dog ears and the rest is still human. But if you think deeper you can tell that Hussie didn't necessarily change his mind, but decided that Jade would start only with dog ears and then gradually gain more elements of a male dog.

Anyway, Jade's penis is enough of a confounding factor that she, Dave, and Karkat can't agree on a way to have kids. And then a few years later, Karkat becomes the hero he was always meant to be and the tragic breakup happens. Then after even more years of presumably a bunch of hemming and hawing, Dave and Jade FINALLY get married. That's amazing, right???? The ship that's been a fan favorite for longer than probably any other? And they're married after all this time?

Uh, no. Not really at all. Not too long after their overdue wedding, Dave has a touching conversation with his number one hero, Barack Obama. He confesses that he's living a lie and can't get over Karkat, or the long-gone Dirk for that matter. When Obama offers Dave to ascend to his ultimate self, he immediately accepts it over staying on Earth C with his doggy wife and becomes Davebot, now proud and ready to achieve greater things in paradox space.

With Dave having achieved what can only be described as one hell of an ending, what triumphant resolution does Jade get? That's right, fucking nothing! Dave leaving Jade behind to explore the White House is the last we hear from her in Candy.

grrrrrr i want more epilogues (or do i???)

And that, my friends, is one of many reasons one could reasonably hope for a follow-up to the Homestuck Epilogues. I'm too lazy to list all the possible reasons, there's just way too many.

So instead, I'll say the following: despite all the flaws, I'm still more than complacent in rereading the epilogues over and over instead of daydreaming about getting even more. It's just such a mass dump of material that you can't fully process after reading just once, much like Homestuck itself. My prior posts about the epilogues already read like someone that doesn't fully understand them, at least to me. Such is the beauty of Homestuck, it's absurdly fun to think and talk about.

Conclusion

I LOVE HOMESTUCK. I LOVE HOMESTUCK, I LOVE HOMESTUCK, I LOVE HOMESTUCK, I LOVE HOMESTUCK!!!

I

LOVE

HOMESTUCK

[grimelords]

I just realised I wrote up my June playlist and forgot to post it at all, which benefits no one. July coming soon, but for now please enjoy three hours of two month old thoughts on the new Kanye, the Red Dead Redemption soundtrack and two songs about drinking beer.

Ghost Town - Kanye West: Now that the dust has settled around Kanye's month of chaos I can safely say Ye is great and Ghost Town is the best song on it, though it's not a coincidence that the best song is the one where Kanye says the least.

DLZ - TV On The Radio: I've been obsessed with this song for a long time. The combination of the absolutely hypnotising drums and very good cryptic lyrics about impending doom is exactly my shit. Also the whistling right at the very end is a perfect moment.

Hyph Mngo - Joy Orbison: Someone had a thing on twitter the other day that was like 'quote tweet this with a phrase you remember that if you told a younger person they wouldn't understand' and someone said Hyph Mngo and I felt age 100. This song really was such a game changer and that whole wave of stuff like this, Koreless and Jame Blake's EP's around then was such an incredible time to be alive. I am aging decades by the second and will not be around much longer.

The Shootist - Bill Elm & Woody Jackson: I've been thinking about game soundtracks a lot the past month or so for some reason and Red Dead really is an all timer. They did such a great job capturing the whole feeling without it just being a straight Morricone rip-off (though obviously it is mostly a Morricone ripoff).

Touch Me - Wish & Fonda Rae: This song is so fucking good to begin with but then it gets really really good in the middle part and where they just start going hogwild with the sampler on her vocals, and then again at the end when it starts sounding like a Battles song.

In The Vespers - Colin Stetson & Sarah Neufeld: Ever since I finished MGSV again I've been thinking about open-world stealth as a genre and how I'd do it, and this song is really the perfect kind of soundtrack to the game I'm thinking of. It's already got four alert levels built in, all the way from Tense to FUCk and back down to Calming Down But Still Scared.

Human After All - Daft Punk: Human After All is still a beguiling album in sound and vision after all this time. The amount of noise emananating from every single element in this song, and songs like Technologic is just so strange compared to everything they'd done before and since, but I think that's what I like about it. It sounds like it was made in 1979 when electronics were a novelty and everyone accepted that they'd be noisy as hell. Also I had an emotional moment this month while I was driving and listening to this song and reflecting on how we are all, human.. after all.. so who knows what's up with me.

Disparate Youth - Santigold: The production on this song is insane. The drums, the guitar, the bouncing piano, it just has so much momentum the whole way through and holy shit I just realised that the video I was talking about last month that referenced The Holy Mountain that I couldn't remember is L.E.S. Artistes by Santigold what an incredible two for one.

Violence - Parquet Courts: This song has the potential to be embarrassing but it's saved from itself by the specificity of the lyrics and the backing vocals that sound like a smiling swing band saying 'violence is daily life!'.

Jane Says - Jane's Addiction: The steel drum as the central melody line in this is such a strange and beautiful choice and also this song has two chords and no chorus. There are truly one million ways to make a good song.

Heatstroke - Calvin Harris feat. Young Thug, Pharrell Williams, Ariana Grande: I really can't believe I missed this song that came out like a year ago, so thank god my girlfriend told me about it. It's incredible. Everyone is operating at full capacity in this song and the structure is so good, the Pharrell/Thug pre-chorus could be a chorus on its own but then Ariana and Pharrell trade lines foe the actual chorus, amazing. Also when Thugger says 'she got every read bottom like a baboon’ the way the backup says '..baboon' slightly apprehensively cracks me up.

Maximum Black - Bohren & Der Club Of Gore: More Bohren, carrying over from last month. This is one of my favourites of theirs, mostly just for the choir sound and the all-time great sax intro at about 4:30. When you start at absolute zero, dialling it up to a 1 sounds like bomb going off.

Dust Bunnies - Kurt Vile: This is like most Kurt Vile songs in that it's sort of just about hanging out and feeling kind of funny, which is a mindset I really relate to.

Here For The Beer - The Sloppy Boys: A bunch of guys from The Birthday Boys have a band now and it's really great. Comedy music is hard but this album is the best kind where it's just dumb ass rock and roll story songs and odes to partying. The way he says 'autographed baseball' makes me laugh every time.

Beer Pressure - Municipal Waste: Anyway that song reminded me of this song, which is almost the exact same song with a slightly different mindset.

Credulous! Credulous! - BATS: There's really something to listening to a song for ten years and then having it suddenly dawn on you one day that it's about an epilleptic 16 year old in the distant past getting treppaned by a mystic and a team of scientists in the present figuring out what happened.

Please Take Your Hand Away - Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross: Everyone's (me) always talking about how good The Social Network soundtrack is but nobody's ever talking about how they did a sequel that's just as good and goes for longer than the actual film when they released the nearly 3 hour Girl With The Dragon Tattoo soundtrack a year later. What an achievement!

What Does Your Soul Look Like Part 2 - DJ Shadow: This song is really on a whole nother level. It is really a kind of magic that you can get a 15 minute song out of a two note bassline and a drum loop, but when they're this good it looks easy. The drums especially are just absolutely hypnotising.

One Of One - Kamasi Washington: Kamasi somehow outdid himself on this one my god. The groove in this is just amazing, and the way it twists and turns into something darker and darker before the sun shines through and the hook comes back is incredible. The way the theme comes back all twisted up with strings near the end. Great stuff.

My Exit, Unfair - mewithoutYou: I honestly very nearly got converted in high school just because I was listening to so much mewithoutYou, and it still informs a lot of my religious thoughts. A running theme through a lot of their songs is wrestling with and trying to accept the idea that God has a plan for you that you definitely don't understand and getting extremely upset about it and that's about where I'm at.

Stand - R.E.M.: Apparently this was the theme to a show called Get A Life and it's funny because it really does sound perfect for a 90s tv theme. It sounds like it's two and a half minutes too long. Release the 30 second TV theme version REM.

BFG Division - Mick Gordon: I was watching a guy speedrun Doom on GDQ and the music for that game is so amazing, but it sounds really funy when the whole sppedrun is just clipping through a wall and rocket jumping halfway across the level to trigger the checkpoint. Mick Gordon really nailed this soundtrack, it's a massive part of the atmosphere of the game and it's really the logical expansion of the MIDI themes of the original, it sounds like the original in HD, this is what you thought you were hearing.

Angel's Rest - Marisa Anderson: Marisa Anderson's songs are so loosely structured they often seem dreamed up on the spot, but the sounds and moods seem so carefully considered that the notes themselves aren't so important.

Looks Like I Picked The Wrong Week To Quit Oxygen - Michael Giacchino: If Michael Giacchino doesn't get an Oscar for The Incredibles II soundtrack I'm going to riot. The climax of this is so big I had to stop myself from applauding in the theatre, it's irrepressible.

AM // Radio - Earl Sweatshirt & Wiki: I was having a week where I was really feeling like the phrase "I don't like shit, I don't go outside" and so I suddenly remembered this album. This beat is so, so good. It sounds like nothing else, and it only adds to the alien flavour by giving the second half of the track to an instrumental.

World In Harmony - Adebisi Shank: Adebisi Shank are really the perfect band. They love to have fun and have a big time and they started out with a perfect first album and only got bigger and better by the time they got to the third and broke up. This song is so powerful, and my billionaire dream is to finance a new F-Zero game and get Adebisi Shank back together to do the soundtrack.

Make Luv feat. Oliver Cheatham - Room 5: I'm slowly putting together a playlist of songs that sound like Music Sounds Better With You by Stardust in order to invoke some kind of euphoric 'best night ever' and ascend to heaven but this song is the only other one I have so far.

A Love Supreme Part II: Resolution - John Coltrane Quartet: I don't feel qualified to say anything about A Love Supreme, so I don't think I'm going to. I literally don't know where to start with this. It's damn good music.

"You Got A Killer Scene There, Man..." - Queens Of The Stone Age: This song is a real vibe. This should be a whole genre but I've never really found anything else like it. It's like if The Doors were good I suppose. It's shocking that this song only goes for 5 minutes because it really feels like it could go for 20 and you wouldn't mind. I remember a few years ago I opened this in Audition and slowed it down to 75% and I really recommend it, it makes the whole thing feel as sludgy as I think it's supposed to be and makes all the breaks that much more impactful.

Never Let Me Go - Sarah Blasko: A friend sent me this and said it sounds like a Bond theme and he's absolutely right, especially towards the end where it all starts stacking up. Maybe it would need a bit more brass to be a proper Bond theme but still, I love it.

Protection - Emma Ruth Rundle: I love Emma Ruth Rundle so much and I'm so excited that she's got a new album coming out. The absolute textural thickness she can conjure up in a song like this blows me away. I don't know what it is about her voice but it sounds like the 90s somehow. Does that make sense? This feels like 90s music, like the grunge female songwriter thing went a slightly different way and I love it.​

listen here

[rangernatelambert]

For @shieldspatriot who requested post battle Nate with Nate not being as okay as he looked with an adrenaline crash.

Also the Ao3 link HERE

There was an echo coming from the streets, it took Nate a moment to realize it wasn’t coming from a concussion.  He had spent a good minute doing a mental evaluation and it was enough to know that the echo wasn’t just his mind playing tricks on him.  Sure, he most likely had some sort of concussion but at worst he had a minor concussion and was pretty sure the only thing he had to worry about was the trickle of blood coming from his side.  Of course, that was implying that his safety was his main worry, which to be honest didn’t even crack the top five.  What did crack the top ten was the echo that was screaming through the street reminding him that while Jake was taking care of one problem, the mission wasn’t close to complete.

Nate crawled out of the escape pod, putting his arm against the edge of the case to lift himself out, feeling the tug at his side.  As much as he tried, he couldn’t suppress the groan as he pulled his side feeling what he could only describe as an inferno flare up and down his side.  Leaning against the side of the pod, he closed his eyes and counting to ten like his mother had taught him when he was a little boy and wanted to cry for whatever reason.  He had gotten to seven before he heard, “Ranger Lambert?”

There was a tone of worry and hesitation in the voice.  And opening his eyes, there seemed to be a gathering of cadets surrounding him.  Part of him wanted to cry more looking at them, they were so young, too young to be here with those lines of worry.  But, after years of training, he pushed those feelings down, he needed to be the strong one here for these children.

Ignoring the pain in his side, Nate pushed himself straight up off the pod and looked at the teenagers in front of him.  “Right. This job isn’t done yet.”  He said sternly, it was all muscle memory on how to take charge of a situation.  “There is still a maniac loose in Tokyo and I heard a voice coming from that direction.” He said, pointing down the street he had hoped the echo had come from, praying that it wasn’t the fog that kept clouding his vision.  “You guys find what restraints you can and bring them to my location.”  

“What are you going to do?” One of the cadets asked, and Nate feel as little bit of worry creep up that he can’t remember the cadets name, something he knew before. But names weren’t a big deal right now, he reminded himself, shaking his head a bit to untangle the webs that he feels have crawled into his head.

“I’m going to go find Newt.” Nate said in what he had hoped was a firm voice even though he felt like he was moving.  “Now go get the…stuff and bring it to my location.”  A little unsure about how he could no longer remember the word he was looking for at the moment.  But the cadets seemed to have a lot more on their minds because they just nodded and took off in search of whatever it was he sent them in search of before.

Taking a steadying breath Nate took off running, his whole body protesting the sudden movement.  Included in that sudden movement was his stomach swaying menacingly making Nate take in air through his nose to calm his stomach. He was already running slower than usual to keep from tilting over too much, he didn’t have time to stop and puke up his guts while he was at it.

Luck was apparently on his side, thanks to Newt monologuing from the top of the building, that makes it easy even for his injured head to figure out which building.  There was a part of him deep down who wished Jake was there, knowing he would find it amusing that the guy they are trying to hunt down is monologuing from a roof like one of the villains in the movies that Jake used to love to drag Nate to when they were young cadets.  He wasn’t sure if the breeze was drying tears or sweat to his checks, but Nate was starting to recall why he hated concussions so much, other than the obvious reasons.  

Luck may have been on his side in finding the building, but it was not on his side in finding a building with working electricity.  Nate stared longingly at the elevator which was not lit up, there was no way he would be able to make it up to the top of the building without an elevator.  His next thought was did he really trust the cadets, once they got there, to go up there alone without knowing if Newt had anymore tricks up his sleeve.  His last thought before heading towards the stairs was the most compelling one: what if Newt has another plan that will hurt Jake.  With a small cry, which he allowed himself, he started to ascend the stairs, not noticing the now consistent trail of blood he was leaving behind him as he climbed.

Climbing the stairs wasn’t like it had been when he had been running, which that was burning pain, climbing was more like walking in someone else’s body, which he both understood slightly better because of drifting, but it also meant he had to make sure to hold onto the hand rail as he climb to prevent falling.  Already his feet had slipped out below him half a dozen or so times, or at least it felt this way.  He might have been exaggerating that number, for better or worse, he could barely tell what was actually real at this point.  Everything was becoming slightly tunnel vision, making up just concentrate on getting to Newt.  Once Newt was dealt with, the mission would be over, the world would be safe, and Nate could sleep for about 60 years.

The door to the roof was open which Nate thanked every god out there, knowing full well he couldn’t kick his way through a screen door at the moment let alone a huge metal door.  Instead he opened the door as quietly as he could, but it seemed it didn’t matter Newt was too far into his own head, something that Nate could understand at the moment.  He knew he should be grateful because he had no plan on what to do if Newt was ready to fight.  As it was, it only took a few steps, a small moment to gather his strength before winding up and knocking Newt to the ground.

Nate gave an announcement of the capture of Newt into the radio before slumping down next to the limp body, wishing he could be that limp right now.  He wasn’t feeling any pain any more, which was good or at least he thought at the moment.  Taking out his gun, he aimed it at Newt in case he tried to move.  Part of him wondered if he should just shoot him and get it out of the way but he knew that was the wrong way to go about it.  There was enough blood on his hands, he wasn’t about to add anymore, especially since there seemed to be literally blood on his hands and he really wasn’t sure where all of it came from.  

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed before a pile of cadets tore through the door with some ropes, ties, and hand cuffs that included a fuzzy pair that Nate was sure there wasn’t enough alcohol in the world to have him ask where they found that.  “Good job, guys.”  Nate said, gesturing with his gun to the man in front of him, “Tie him up, reinforcements should be coming to get us soon.”  Nate knew that he should get up to help the cadets, but he knew if he moved, there was a good chance he was going to blackout. Thankfully none of the cadets said anything, though he also did not notice the nervous looks that they were giving each other in regards to himself.  

Never in Nate’s life had he been so happy to hear the sounds of helicopters, nor to see Doctor Gottlieb. Nate watched as other officers helped load Newt onto a gurney, noticing how Doctor Gottlieb’s hand came to rest on Newt’s arm.  He watched as the cadets followed them out and Nate smiled at the hand reached out to help him up before his vision went completely black.

When Nate woke up the pain in his side was back along with the worst headache he had ever had and a strong desire to be dead.  He must have said that last part out loud because there was a loud chuckle followed by “too bad”.  Nate opened his eyes to see Jake sitting in the chair next to his bed, magazine perching his lap.  He tried to read the magazine cover but it only seemed to hurt his head more.  “Are you actually with us this time or are you still delusional?”

“What?”  Nate asked roughly before Jake produced a small bowl of ice chips, giving him a few until Nate was able to get out better.  “Did we save the word?”

“No.”  Jake said, rolling his eyes.  “Amara and I saved the world, you just managed to bleed your way across Tokyo.”

“Huh.”  Nate muttered, reaching down to his side only to have Jake swat his hands away.  

“Don’t touch that.  You’ve already had to be stitched up three times because you woke up and tried to go back to work like an idiot.”  Jake lectured, but he gave him a look that was very judgmental considering Nate couldn’t remember doing that.  “I voted to tie you to the bed, but Amara said that was too kinky and she didn’t want to hear of me doing things like that and Jules suggested a watch system so that’s what’s happening.”

Somewhere around the part of Jake tying Nate to the bed, his brain broke a little.  “Um, well, uh thanks for, you know, looking out for me.”

Jake rolled his eyes again. “Obviously.  Though next time you het MAJORLY INJURIED, maybe try just sitting the fuck down and waiting for help instead of trying to save the day.”

“You were still out there,” Nate blurted out, really hoping that he was on drugs that he could blame later. Though it sounded like he could also blame a list of injuries.  “Had to make sure you were okay.”

Jake opened his mouth to respond but closed it, it was one of the few times Nate had ever seen him pause like that.  “Yeah well, I didn’t exactly want to come back and find out you had died because you’re a stubborn asshole.”  He said, before adding softly, “I know it was drilled into you that you have to be this perfect soldier thing but you’re still human you deserve a break.”  It wasn’t often Jake brought up things had seen in the drift, but when he did he knew that he was supposed to take notice of what was being said.

Nate laughed softly.  “I remember the last break I took.  It was that week we went to that because in Mexico because you wouldn’t shut up about it.”

Jake smile.  “And my dad made us bring Mako to be a ‘good influence on us’ but really she kept out drinking us and daring us to do stupid things.” Jake’s smile dropped, and so did Nate’s stomach knowing he shouldn’t have brought up Mako.

“I still don’t know how I ended up sleeping in the pool floaty on the roof.”  He said softly, succeeding in getting Jake to smile back at him.

“Don’t ask me, I’m just glad my dad never saw the tattoo I got.”  Nate laughed, not remembering how the tattoo was gained, Mako refused to say, but he did remember Jake’s reaction to find it.  “We should do another vacation when you get cleared.  Maybe we could take the cadets somewhere fun.”  

Nate paused, trying to read Jake’s face to see if he was joking.  “Yeah…yeah that could be fun.”  

“Hey.”  There was a knock at the door before Amara poked her head in.  “You guys decent?”

“What kind of question is that?  What do you think we’re doing in here?”  Jake asked, his face puckering in disgust.  

Amara just shrugged.  “I share a room with a bunch of people, always best to ask.”  She said before turning to Jake.  “Doctor Gottlieb needs to run something by you, I’m here to watch Nate.”

“I am a grown man, I don’t need a babysitter.”  Nate protested weakly but was shushed by both Jake and Amara simultaneously.  

“Don’t let him do anything stupid while I’m gone.”  He instructed Amara before turning to Nate.  “I’ll be right back.”  

Jake paused, putting his hand on his shoulder, before looking back at Amara who gave him a small impatient glare.  After a moment Jake leaned down and Nate could have sworn he kissed his cheek before leaving the room.

Amara settle into the chair Jake previously occupied, kicking her feet up onto the bed and picked up the magazine.  “Ooh good an article on an experimental kind of wire.  Want me to read it to you?

“Uh, sure?”  Nate responded.  Apparently, it was the right answer because Amara started to happily read the magazine article as Nate felt himself slowly drift off to some much needed sleep.

[shirlleycoyle]

What Alternate Reality Games Teach Us About the Dangerous Appeal of QAnon

This story was originally published on mssv.net by Adrian Hon (@adrianhon)

The far-right QAnon conspiracy theory is so sprawling, it’s hard to know where people join. Last week, it was 5G cell towers, this week it’s Wayfair; who knows what next week will bring? But QAnon’s followers always seem to begin their journey with the same refrain: “I’ve done my research.”

I’d heard that line before. In early 2001, the marketing for Steven Spielberg’s latest movie, A.I., had just begun. YouTube wouldn’t launch for another four years, so you had to be eagle-eyed to spot the unusual credit next to Haley Joel Osment, Jude Law, and Frances O’Connor: Jeanine Salla, the movie’s “Sentient Machine Therapist.”

Close-up of the A.I. movie poster

Soon after, Ain’t It Cool News (AICN) posted a tip from a reader:

“Type her name in the Google.com search engine, and see what sites pop up…pretty cool stuff! Keep up the good work, Harry!! –ClaviusBase”

(Yes, in 2001 Google was so new you had to spell out its web address.)

The Google results began with Jeanine Salla’s homepage but led to a whole network of fictional sites. Some were futuristic versions of police websites or lifestyle magazines; others were inscrutable online stores and hacked blogs. A couple were in German and Japanese. In all, over twenty sites and phone numbers were listed.

By the end of the day, the websites racked up 25 million hits, all from a single AICN article suggesting readers ‘do their research’. It later emerged they were part of one of the first-ever alternate reality games (ARG), The Beast, developed by Microsoft to promote Spielberg’s movie.

The way I’ve described it here, The Beast sounds like enormous fun. Who wouldn’t be intrigued by a doorway into 2142 filled with websites and phone numbers and puzzles, with runaway robots who need your help and even live events around the world? But consider how much work it required to understand the story and it begins to sound less like “watching TV” fun and more like “painstaking research” fun. Along with tracking dozens of websites that updated in real time, you had to solve lute tablature puzzles, decode base 64 messages, reconstruct 3D models of island chains that spelt out messages, and gather clues from newspaper and TV adverts across the US.

This purposeful yet bewildering complexity is the complete opposite of what many associate with conventional popular entertainment, where every bump in your road to enjoyment has been smoothed away in the pursuit of instant engagement and maximal profit. But there’s always been another kind of entertainment that appeals to different people at different times, one that rewards active discovery, the drawing of connections between clues, the delicious sensation of a hunch that pays off after hours or days of work. Puzzle books, murder mysteries, adventure games, escape rooms, even scientific research—they all aim for the same spot.

What was new in The Beast and the ARGs that followed it was less the specific puzzles and stories they incorporated, but the sheer scale of the worlds they realised—so vast and fast-moving that no individual could hope to comprehend them. Instead, players were forced to cooperate, sharing discoveries and solutions, exchanging ideas, and creating resources for others to follow. I’d know: I wrote a novel-length walkthrough of The Beast when I was meant to be studying for my degree at Cambridge.

QAnon is not an ARG. It’s a dangerous conspiracy theory, and there are lots of ways of understanding conspiracy theories without ARGs. But QAnon pushes the same buttons that ARGs do, whether by intention or by coincidence. In both cases, “do your research” leads curious onlookers to a cornucopia of brain-tingling information.

In other words, maybe QAnon is… fun?

ARGs never made it big. They came too early and It’s hard to charge for a game that you stumble into through a Google search. But maybe their purposely-fragmented, internet-native, community-based form of storytelling and puzzle-solving was just biding its time…

This blog post expands on the ideas in my Twitter thread about QAnon and ARGs, and incorporates many of the valuable replies. Please note, however, that I’m not a QAnon expert and I’m not a scholar of conspiracy theories. I’m not even the first to compare QAnon to LARPs and ARGs.

But my experience as lead designer of Perplex City, one of the world’s most popular and longest-running ARGs, gives me a special perspective on QAnon’s game-like nature. My background as a neuroscientist and experimental psychologist also gives me insight into what motivates people.

Today, I run Six to Start, best known for Zombies, Run!, an audio-based augmented reality game with half a million active players, and I’m writing a book about the perils and promise of gamification.

It’s Like We Did It On Purpose

Perplex City “Ascendancy Point” Story Arc

When I was designing Perplex City, I loved sketching out new story arcs. I’d create intricate chains of information and clues for players to uncover, colour-coding for different websites and characters. There was a knack to having enough parallel strands of investigation going on so that players didn’t feel railroaded, but not so many that they were overwhelmed. It was a particular pleasure to have seemingly unconnected arcs intersect after weeks or months.

Merely half of the “Q-web“

No-one would mistake the clean lines of my flowcharts for the snarl of links that makes up a QAnon theory, but the principles are similar: one discovery leading to the next. Of course, these two flowcharts are very different beasts. The QAnon one is an imaginary, retrospective description of supposedly-connected data, while mine is a prescriptive network of events I would design.

Except that’s not quite true. In reality, Perplex City players didn’t always solve our puzzles as quickly as we intended them to, or they became convinced their incorrect solution was correct, or embarrassingly, our puzzles were broken and had no solution at all. In those cases we had to rewrite the story on the fly.

When this happens in most media, you just hold up your hands and say you made a mistake. In video games, you can issue an online update and hope no-one’s the wiser. But in ARGs, a public correction would shatter the uniquely-prolonged collective suspension of disbelief in the story. This was thought to be so integral to the appeal of ARGs, it was termed TINAG, or “This is Not a Game.”

So when we messed up in Perplex City, we tried mightily to avoid editing websites, a sure sign this was, in fact, a game. Instead, we’d fix it by adding new storylines and writing through the problem (it helped to have a crack team of writers and designers, including Naomi Alderman, Andrea Phillips, David Varela, Dan Hon, Jey Biddulph, Fi Silk, Eric Harshbarger, and many many others).

We had a saying when these diversions worked out especially well: “It’s like we did it on purpose.”

Every ARG designer can tell a similar war story. Here’s Josh Fialkov, writer for the Lonelygirl15 ARG/show:

“Our fans/viewers would build elaborate (and pretty neat) theories and stories around the stories we’d already put together and then we’d merge them into our narrative, which would then engage them more. The one I think about the most is we were shooting something on location and we’re run and gunning. We fucked up and our local set PA ended up in the background of a long selfie shot. We had no idea. It was 100% a screw up. The fans became convinced the character was in danger. And then later when that character revealed herself as part of the evil conspiracy — that footage was part of the audiences proof that she was working with the bad guys all along — “THATS why he was in the background!” They literally found a mistake – made it a story point. And used it as evidence of their own foresight into the ending — despite it being, again, us totally being exhausted and sloppy. And at the time hundreds of thousands of people were participating and contributing to a fictional universe and creating strands upon strands.”

Conspiracy theories and cults evince the same insouciance when confronted with inconsistencies or falsified predictions; they can always explain away errors with new stories and theories. What’s special about QAnon and ARGs is that these errors can be fixed almost instantly, before doubt or ridicule can set in. And what’s really special about QAnon is how it’s absorbed all other conspiracy theories to become a kind of ur-conspiracy theory such that seems pointless to call out inconsistencies. In any case, who would you even be calling out when so many QAnon theories come from followers rather than “Q”?

Yet the line between creator and player in ARGs has also long been blurry. That tip from “ClaviusBase” to AICN that catapulted The Beast to massive mainstream coverage? The designers more or less admitted it came from them. Indeed, there’s a grand tradition of ARG “puppetmasters” (an actual term used by devotees) sneaking out from “behind the curtain” (ditto) to create “sockpuppet accounts” in community forums to seed clues, provide solutions, and generally chivvy players along the paths they so carefully designed.

As an ARG designer, I used to take a hard line against this kind of cheating but in the years since, I’ve mellowed somewhat, mostly because it can make the game more fun, and ultimately, because everyone expects it these days. That’s not the case with QAnon.

Yes, anyone who uses 4chan and 8chan understands that anonymity is baked into the system such that posters frequently create entire threads where they argue against themselves in the guise of anonymous users who are impossible to distinguish or trace back to a single individual – but do the more casual QAnon followers know that?

Local Fame

A Beautiful Mind

Pop culture’s conspiracy theorist sits in a dark basement stringing together photos and newspaper clippings on their "crazy wall." On the few occasions this leads to useful results, it’s an unenviable pursuit. Anyone choosing such an existence tends to be shunned by society.

But this ignores one gaping fact: piecing together theories is really satisfying. Writing my walkthrough for The Beast was rewarding and meaningful, appreciated by an enthusiastic community in a way that my molecular biology essays most certainly were not. Online communities have long been dismissed as inferior in every way to “real” friendships, an attenuated version that’s better than nothing, but not something that anyone should choose. Yet ARGs and QAnon (and games and fandom and so many other things) demonstrate there’s an immediacy and scale and relevance to online communities that can be more potent and rewarding than a neighbourhood bake sale. This won’t be news to most of you, but I think it’s still news to decision-makers in traditional media and politics.

Good ARGs are deliberately designed with puzzles and challenges that require unusual talents—I designed one puzzle that required a good understanding of ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs—with problems so large that they require crowdsourcing to solve, such that all players feel like welcome and valued contributors.

Needless to say, that feeling is missing from many people’s lives:

“ARGs are generally a showcase for special talent that often goes unrecognized elsewhere. I have met so many wildly talented people with weird knowledge through them.”

If you’re first to solve a puzzle or make a connection, you can attain local fame in ARG communities, as Dan Hon, COO at Mind Candy (makers of the Perplex City ARG), notes. The vast online communities for TV shows like Lost and Westworld, with their purposefully convoluted mystery box plots, also reward those who guess twists early, or produce helpful explainer videos. Yes, the reward is “just” internet points in the form of Reddit upvotes, but the feeling of being appreciated is very real. It’s no coincidence that Lost and Westworld both used ARGs to promote their shows.

Wherever you have depth in storytelling or content or mechanics, you’ll find the same kind of online communities. Games like Bloodborne, Minecraft, Stardew Valley, Dwarf Fortress, Animal Crossing, Eve Online, and Elite Dangerous, they all share the same race for discovery. These discoveries eventually become processed into explainer videos and Reddit posts that are more accessible for wider audiences.

The same has happened with modern ARGs, where explainer videos have become so compelling they rack up more views than the ARGs have players (not unlike Twitch). Michael Andersen, owner of the Alternate Reality Gaming Network news site, is a fan of this trend, but wonders about its downside—with reference to conspiracy theorists:

“[W]hen you’re reading (or watching) a summary of an ARG? All of the assumptions and logical leaps have been wrapped up and packaged for you, tied up with a nice little bow. Everything makes sense, and you can see how it all flows together. Living it, though? Sheer chaos. Wild conjectures and theories flying left and right, with circumstantial evidence and speculation ruling the day. Things exist in a fugue state of being simultaneously true-and-not-true, and it’s only the accumulation of evidence that resolves it. And acquiring a “knack” for sifting through theories to surface what’s believable is an extremely valuable skill—both for actively playing ARGs, and for life in general.And sometimes, I worry that when people consume these neatly packaged theories that show all the pieces coming together, they miss out on all those false starts and coincidences that help develop critical thinking skills. …because yes, conspiracy theories try and offer up those same neat packages that attempt to explain the seemingly unexplained. And it’s pretty damn important to learn how groups can be led astray in search of those neatly wrapped packages.”

“SPEC”

I’m a big fan of the SCP Foundation, a creative writing website set within a shared universe not unlike The X-Files. Its top-rated stories rank among the best science fiction and horror I’ve read. A few years ago, I wrote my own (very silly) story, SCP-3993, where New York’s ubiquitous LinkNYC internet kiosks are cover for a mysterious reality-altering invasion.

CITYBRIDGE/NYC

Like the rest of SCP, this was all in good fun, but I recently discovered LinkNYC is tangled up in QAnon conspiracy theories. To be fair, you can say the same thing about pretty much every modern technology, but it’s not surprising their monolith-like presence caught conspiracy theorists’ attention as it did mine.

It’s not unreasonable to be creeped out by LinkNYC. In 2016, the New York Civil Liberties Union wrote to the mayor about “the vast amount of private information retained by the LinkNYC system and the lack of robust language in the privacy policy protecting users against unwarranted government surveillance.” Two years later, kiosks along Third Avenue in Midtown mysteriously blasted out a slowed-down version of the Mister Softee theme song. So there’s at least some cause for speculation. The problem is when speculation hardens into reality.

Not long after the AICN post, The Beast’s players set up a Yahoo Group mailing list called Cloudmakers, named after a boat in the story. As the number of posts rose to dozens and then hundreds per day, it became obvious to list moderators (including me) that some form of organisation was in order. One rule we established was that posts should include a prefix in their subject so members could easily distinguish website updates from puzzle solutions.

My favourite prefix was “SPEC,” a catch-all for any kind of unfounded speculation, most of which was fun nonsense but some of which ended up being true. There were no limits on what or how much you could post, but you always had to use the prefix so people could ignore it. Other moderated communities have similar guidelines, with rationalists using their typically long-winded “epistemic status” metadata.

Absent this kind of moderation, speculation ends up overwhelming communities since it’s far easier and more fun to bullshit than do actual research. And if speculation is repeated enough times, if it’s finessed enough, it can harden into accepted fact, leading to devastating and even fatal consequences.

I’ve personally been the subject of this process thanks to my work in ARGs—not just once, but twice.

The first occasion was fairly innocent. One of our more famous Perplex City puzzles, Billion to One, was a photo of a man. That’s it. The challenge was to find him. Obviously, we were riffing on the whole “six degrees of separation” concept. Some thought it’d be easy, but I was less convinced. Sure enough, fourteen years on, the puzzle is still unsolved, but not for lack of trying. Every so often, the internet rediscovers the puzzle amid a flurry of YouTube videos and podcasts; I can tell whenever this happens because people start DMing me on Twitter and Instagram.

This literally came a few days ago

A clue in the puzzle is the man’s name, Satoshi. It is not a rare name, and it happens to be same as the presumed pseudonymous person or persons who developed bitcoin, Satoshi Nakamoto. So of course people think Perplex City’s Satoshi created bitcoin. Not a lot of people, to be fair, but enough that I get DMs about it every week. But it’s all pretty innocent, like I said.

More concerning is my presumed connection to Cicada 3301, a mysterious group that recruited codebreakers through very difficult online puzzles. Back in 2011, my company developed a pseudo-ARG for the BBC Two factual series, The Code, all about mathematics. This involved planting clues into the show itself, along with online educational games and a treasure hunt.

To illustrate the concept of prime numbers, The Code explored the gestation period of cicadas. We had no hand in the writing of the show; we got the script and developed our ARG around it. But this was enough to create a brand new conspiracy theory, featuring yours truly:

My bit starts around 20 minutes in:

Interviewer: Why [did you make a puzzle about] cicadas?

Me: Cicadas are known for having a gestation period which is linked to prime numbers. Prime numbers are at the heart of nature and the heart of mathematics.

Interviewer: That puzzle comes out in June 2011.

Me: Yeah.

Interviewer: Six months later, Cicada 3301 makes its international debut.

Me: It's a big coincidence.

Interviewer: There are some people who have brought up the fact that whoever's behind Cicada 3301 would have to be a very accomplished game maker.

Me: Sure.

Interviewer: You would be a candidate to be that person.

Me: That's true, I mean, Cicada 3301 has a lot in common with the games we've made. I think that one big difference (chuckles) is that normally when we make alternate reality games, we do it for money. And it's not so clear to understand where the funding for Cicada 3301 is coming from.

Clearly this was all just in fun – I knew it and the interviewer knew it. That’s why I agreed to take part. But does everyone watching this understand that? There’s no “SPEC” tag on the video. At least a few commenters are taking it seriously:

I am the “ARG guy” in question

I’m not worried, but I’d be lying if I wasn’t a touch concerned that Cicada 3301 now lies squarely in the QAnon vortex and in the “Q-web“:

Here’s a good interview with the creator of the “Q-web”

My defence that the cicada puzzle in The Code was “a big coincidence” (albeit delivered with an unfortunate shit-eating grin) didn’t hold water. In the conspiracy theorest mindset, no such thing exists:

“According to Michael Barkun, emeritus professor of political science at Syracuse University, three core principles characterize most conspiracy theories. Firstly, the belief that nothing happens by accident or coincidence. Secondly, that nothing is as it seems: The “appearance of innocence” is to be suspected. Finally, the belief that everything is connected through a hidden pattern.”

These are helpful beliefs when playing an ARG or watching a TV show designed with twists and turns. It’s fun to speculate and to join seemingly disparate ideas, especially when the creators encourage and reward this behaviour. It’s less helpful when conspiracy theorists “yes, and…” each other into shooting up a pizza parlour or burning down 5G cell towers.

Because there is no coherent QAnon community in the same sense as the Cloudmakers, there’s no convention of “SPEC” tags. In their absence, YouTube has added annotated QAnon videos with links to its Wikipedia article, and Twitter has banned 7,000 accounts and restricted 150,000 more, among other actions. Supposedly, Facebook is planning to do the same.

These are useful steps but will not stop QAnon from spreading in social media comments or private chat groups or unmoderated forums. It’s not something we can reasonably hope for, and I don’t think there’s any technological solution (e.g. browser extensions) either. The only way to stop people from mistaking speculation from fact is for them to want to stop.

Cryptic

It’s always nice to have a few mysteries for players to speculate on in an ARG, if only because it helps them pass the time while the poor puppetmasters scramble to sate their insatiable demand for more website updates and puzzles. A good mystery can keep a community guessing for, as Lost did with its numbers or Game of Thrones with Jon Snow’s parentage. But these mysteries always have to be balanced against specifics, lest the whole story dissolve into a puddle of mush; for as much we derided Lost for the underwhelming conclusion to its mysteries, no-one would’ve watched in the first place if the episode-to-episode storytelling wasn’t so strong.

The downside of being too mysterious in Perplex City is that cryptic messages often led players on wild goose chases such that they completely ignored entire story arcs in favour of pursuing their own theories. This was bad for us because we had a pretty strict timetable that we needed our story to play out on, pinned against the release of our physical puzzle cards that funded the entire enterprise. If players took too long to find the $200,000 treasure at the conclusion of the story, we might run out of money.

QAnon can favour cryptic messages because, as far as I know, they don’t have a specific timeline or goal in mind, let alone a production budget or paid staff. Not only is there no harm in followers misinterpreting messages, but it’s a strength: followers can occupy themselves with their own spin-off theories far better than “Q” can. Dan Hon notes:

“For every ARG I’ve been involved in and ones my friends have been involved in, communities always consume/complete/burn through content faster than you can make it, when you’re doing a narrative-based game. This content generation/consumption/playing asymmetry is, I think, just a fact. But QAnon “solved” it by being able to co-opt all content that already exists and … encourages and allows you to create new content that counts and is fair play in-the-game.”

But even QAnon needs some specificity, hence their frequent references to actual people, places, events, and so on.

A brief aside on designing very hard puzzles

It was useful to be cryptic when I needed to control the speed at which players solved especially consequential puzzles, like the one revealing where our $200,000 treasure was buried. For story and marketing purposes, we wanted players to be able to find it as soon as they had access to all 256 puzzle cards, which we released in three waves. We also wanted players to feel like they were making progress before they had all the cards and we didn’t want them to find the location the minute they had the last card.

My answer was to represent the location as the solution to multiple cryptic puzzles. One puzzle referred to the Jurassic strata in the UK, which I split across the background of 14 cards. Another began with a microdot revealing which order to arrange triple letters I’d hidden on a bunch of cards. By performing mod arithmetic on the letter/number values, you would arrive at 1, 2, 3 or 4, corresponding to the four DNA nucleotides. If you understood the triplets as codons for amino acids, they became letters. These letters led you to the phrase “Duke of Burgundy”, the name of a butterfly whose location, when combined with the Jurassic strata, would help you narrow down the location of the treasure.

The nice thing about this convoluted sequence is that we could provide additional online clues to help the players community when they got stuck. The point being, you can’t make an easy puzzle harder, but you can make a hard puzzle easier.

Beyond ARGs

It can feel crass to compare ARGs to a conspiracy theory that’s caused so much harm. But this reveals the crucial difference between them: in QAnon, the stakes so high, any action is justified. If you truly believe an online store or a pizza parlour is engaging in child trafficking and the authorities are complicit, extreme behaviour is justified.

Gabriel Roth, editorial director for audio at Slate, extends this idea:

“What QAnon has that ARGs didn’t have is the claim of factual truth; in that sense it reminds me of the Bullshit Anecdotal Memoir wave of the 90s and early 00s. If you have a story based on real life, but you want to make it more interesting, the correct thing to do is change the names of the people and make it as interesting as you like and call it fiction. The insight of the Bullshit Anecdotal Memoirists (I’m thinking of James Frey and Augusten Burroughs and David Sedaris) was that you could call it nonfiction and readers would like it much better because it would have the claim of actual factual truth, wowee!! And it worked! How much more engaging and addictive is an immersive, participatory ARG when it adds that unique frisson you can only get with the claim of factual truth? And bear in mind that ARG-scale stories aren’t about mere personal experiences—they operate on a world-historical scale.”

ARGs’ playfulness with the truth and their sometimes-imperceptible winking of This Is Not A Game (accusations Lonelygirl15 was a hoax) is only the most modern incarnation of epistolary storytelling. In that context, immersive and realistic stories have long elicited extreme reactions, like the panic incited by Orson Welles’ The War of the Worlds (often exaggerated, to be fair).

We don’t have to wonder what happens when an ARG community meets a matter of life and death. Not long after The Beast concluded, the 9/11 attacks happened. A small number of posters in the Cloudmakers mailing list suggested the community use its skills to “solve” the question of who was behind the attack.

The brief but intense discussion that ensued has become a cautionary tale of ARG communities getting carried away and being unable to distinguish fiction from reality. In reality, the community and the moderators quickly shut down the idea as being impractical, insensitive, and very dangerous. “Cloudmakers tried to solve 9/11” is a great story, but it’s completely false.

Unfortunately, the same isn’t true for the poster child for online sleuthing gone wrong, the r/findbostonbombers subreddit. There’s a parallel between the essentially unmoderated, anonymous theorists of r/findbostonbombers and those in QAnon: neither feel any responsibility for spreading unsupported speculation as fact. What they do feel is that anything should be solvable, as Laura Hall, immersive environment and narrative designer, describes:

“There’s a general sense of, ‘This should be solveable/findable/etc’ that you see in lots of reddit communities for unsolved mysteries and so on. The feeling that all information is available online, that reality and truth must be captured/in evidence somewhere”

There’s truth in that feeling. There is a vast amount of information online, and sometimes it is possible to solve “mysteries”, which makes it hard to criticise people for trying, especially when it comes to stopping perceived injustices. But it’s the sheer volume of information online that makes it so easy and so tempting and so fun to draw spurious connections.

That joy of solving and connecting and sharing and communication can do great things, and it can do awful things. As Josh Fialkov, writer for Lonelygirl15, says:

That brain power negatively focused on what [conspiracy theorists] perceive as life and death (but is actually crassly manipulated paranoia) scares the living shit out of me.

What ARGs Can Teach Us

Can we make “good ARGs”? Could ARGs inoculate people against conspiracy theories like QAnon?

The short answer is: No. When it comes to games that are educational and fun, you usually have to pick one, not both—and I say that as someone who thinks he’s done a decent job at making “serious games” over the years. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible, but it’s really hard, and I doubt any such ARG would get played by the right audience anyway.

The long answer: I’m writing a book about the perils and promise of gamification. Come back in a year or two.

For now, here’s a medium-sized answer. No ARG can heal the deep mistrust and fear and economic and spiritual malaise that underlies QAnon and other dangerous conspiracy theories, any more than a book or a movie can solve racism. There are hints at ARG-like things that could work, though—not in directly combatting QAnon’s appeal, but in channeling people’s energy and zeal of community-based problem-solving toward better causes.

Take The COVID Tracking Project, an attempt to compile the most complete data available about COVID-19 in the U.S. Every day, volunteers collect the latest numbers on tests, cases, hospitalizations, and patient outcomes from every state and territory. In the absence of reliable governmental figures, it’s become one of the best sources not just in the U.S., but in the world.

It’s also incredibly transparent. You can drill down into the raw data volunteers have collected on Google Sheets, view every line of code written on Github, and ask them questions on Slack. Errors and ambiguities in the data are quickly disclosed and explained rather than hidden or ignored. There’s something game-like in the daily quest to collect the best-quality data and to continually expand and improve the metrics being tracked. And like in the best ARGs, volunteers of all backgrounds and skills are welcomed. It’s one of the most impressive and well-organising reporting projects I’ve ever seen; “crowdsourcing” doesn’t even come close to describing its scale.

If you applied ARG skills to investigative journalism, you’d get something like Bellingcat, an an open-source intelligence group that discovered how Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 (MH17) was shot down over Ukraine in 2014. Bellingcat’s volunteers painstakingly pieced together publicly-available information to determine MH17 was downed by a Buk missile launcher originating from the 53rd Anti-Aircraft Rocket Brigade in Kursk, Russia. The Dutch-led international joint investigation team later came to the same conclusion.

Conspiracy theories thrive in the absence of trust. Today, people don’t trust authorities because authorities have repeatedly shown themselves to be unworthy of trust – misreporting or manipulating COVID-19 testing figures, delaying the publication of government investigations, burning records of past atrocities, and deploying unmarked federal forces. Perhaps authorities were just as untrustworthy twenty or fifty or a hundred years ago, but today we rightly expect more.

Mattathias Schwartz, contributing writer for The New York Times Magazine, believes it’s that lack of trust that leads people to QAnon:

“Q’s [followers] … are starving for information. Their willingness to chase bread crumbs is a symptom of ignorance and powerlessness. There may be something to their belief that the machinery of the state is inaccessible to the people. It’s hard to blame them for resorting to fantasy and esotericism, after all, when accurate information about the government’s current activities is so easily concealed and so woefully incomplete.”

So the goal cannot be to simply restore trust in existing authorities. Rather, I think it’s to restore faith in truth and knowledge itself. The COVID Tracking Project and Bellingcat help reveal truth by crowdsourcing information. They show their work via hypertext and open data, creating a structure upon which higher-level analysis and journalism can be built. And if they can’t find the truth, they’re willing to say so.

QAnon seems just as open. Everything is online. Every discussion, every idea, every theory is all joined together in a warped edifice where speculation becomes fact and fact leads to action. It’s thrilling to discover, and as you find new terms to Google and new threads to pull upon, you can feel just like a real researcher. And you can never get bored. There’s always new information to make sense of, always a new puzzle to solve, always a new enemy to take down.

QAnon fills the void of information that states have created—not with facts, but with fantasy. If we don’t want QAnon to fill that void, someone else has to. Government institutions can’t be relied upon to do this sustainably, given how underfunded and politicised they’ve become in recent years. Traditional journalism has also struggled against its own challenges of opacity and lack of resources. So maybe that someone is… us.

ARGs teach us that the search for knowledge and truth can be immensely rewarding, not in spite of their deliberately-fractured stories and near-impossible puzzles, but because of them. They teach us that communities can self-organise and self-moderate to take on immense challenges in a responsible way. And they teach us that people are ready and willing to volunteer to work if they’re welcomed, no matter their talent.

It’s hard to create these communities. They rely on software and tools that aren’t always free or easy to use. They need volunteers who have spare time to give and moderators who can be supported, financially and emotionally, through the struggles that always come. These communities already exist. They just need more help.

Despite the growing shadow of QAnon, I’m hopeful for the future. The beauty of ARGs and ARG-like communities isn’t their power to discover truth. It’s how they make the process of discovery so deeply rewarding.

What Alternate Reality Games Teach Us About the Dangerous Appeal of QAnon syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

[therothwoman]

RIGHT THEN here’s my Thor 3 Reaction Post:

Under a cut on the off chance some folks haven’t seen it yet, but also because this might get a smidge long depending on how much I end up rambling:

*opening guitar riff of Immigrant Song blares in the distance*

So my This Seems To Be Side-stepping Into GOTG Tonal Territory vibe from the trailers seemed to be not too far off, but I wasn’t really as bothered by it as I was afraid I might be. Instead it seemed to be a good world-building bridge between The Set-up Of The Universe According To The Thor Movies and The Set-up Of The Universe According To GOTG.

On the other hand...the Warriors Three just? got axed?? with little to no ceremony??? (This was actually something I got spoilered for a couple weeks ago, but it was from a family friend who’s written official tie-in novels about Thor and Sif and the Warriors Three, so he would definitely have a more personal investment in this development than the average viewer.)

On the OTHER other hand:

- Hela: s’up bitches I’m the rightful heir to the throne and I’m BACK you can give me back the army now I’m here to restore Asgard to her former blood-soaked imperialistic glory

- Hogun: whom’st’ve

- Hela:

A minor mistake: watching this movie so soon after seeing The Disaster Artist, because there were too many early shots of Loki and his long greasy black hair that made me think Alternate Universe Tommy Wiseau (until, of course, Tom opened his mouth and velvet came out instead of pocket lint)

Was that scene with The Tragedy of Loki of Asgard meant as a comedic in-universe recap for An Important Thing From The Previous Movie, or just a general piss-take of The Dark World? Because either way works great for me.

I know folks have been saying that “Odin” going “oh shit” when Thor shows up was the line that cleared their skin and made their crops flourish, but for me Skurge showing up late and Loki turning around and going “You Had One Job” was the moment that made my soul ascend for a minute.

The Dr. Strange interlude added Basically Nothing to the overall story beyond him being the reality-bending Uber driver that got the bros to where Odin was, but it was entertaining and I enjoyed it so I’m fine with it being there. Also it was kinda nice to see him in a more secure space of “I know what I’m doing, you folks just sit tight” and actually meaning it instead of saying it and then trying to just wing it and then fucking up spectacularly.

did anyone else interpret “frigga would be proud” as “loki your dead mother would be proud of you, but I’m Still Not even though I’m literally about to die, so...”

BIFROST BATTLE

Valkyrie can tase me and throw me onto the floor of her spaceship anytime she wants god Damn.

“YOU ARE NOW MEETING THE GRANDMASTER. YOU ARE NOW MEETING THE GRANDMASTER. Y̪̣͘O҉̲̥ͅͅU̙͚͙̲̞̱͞ ͔͖̺̱̙̗̠͡A̢̼̳̝̦̯R̺̗̞̼̭͚E͖̖͎̘͎̬͔ ̫̰͖̯̻̕N̰̹̣͔̕O̤̥̪ͅW̘̪͎ M̶̺̫͈͎͈̥͎Ḙ̥̫̹̖͖E̻̭̟̫͓̩͇̕T̻̘͈̱̤I̬̩̗̳͖̪̮N̖̹͖͙̕G̬̟̦̰͉̪ͅ ̢T̜̥H͉̯̞͓E̞̙͖̳̟̗ͅ ͏̬̠̖G͏̳R̡̼̤̺̺̼̟ͅA̞̦͚N͍̬D̝̪̲͓M̙̝̠̼̱A̶̲̭̰͕ͅS̸̩T̵̜E͚̠̼͞R.”

okay maybe someone can help explain this to me because this is the only fandom meme from this movie that I still don’t quite Get even after I saw it: why exactly is everyone saying that Jeff Goldblum got Loki’s dick? Because I got to the scene with that bit from the Dramatic Telenovella Zoom gif and it took me a sec to realize that That Was It. I think it might’ve just been that the preceding line right before Goldblum’s Awkward Half-Wink Attempt didn’t seem at all suggestive? He was just talking about how time works differently on Sakaar and that by Normal Universe Standards he should be really old but then he just trails off and...was the implication supposed to be more of a “yup, still got it ;)” thing? Because that would make more sense.

hey is bruce banner okay

Thor “I Have Now Seen the Hulk Naked and I Can Never Unsee It” Odinson holy shit

I thought they were also taking the piss out of the Bruce-Nat romance from AoU with the “lullaby” failing horribly in the arena, but then her showing up on the quinjet screen actually Did Something. But then Thor repeatedly using it for the next few scenes was a running gag anyway so...?

no seriously is bruce banner okay

*whips out glasses* “I’ll be Tony Stark.” Maybe it’s just because I’ve had “ragnarok spoilers” and related tags blacklisted for the past few weeks, but I haven’t yet seen a single post pointing out that the Hulk tried to save Asgard while wearing Tony Stark’s horribly overstretched pants.

CAN HULK AND VALKYRIE BE BESTEST FRIENDS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEEEEE????????

really tho bruce was talking about how he felt he was losing the reins on the hulk and then not only did it never come up again but he still hadn’t turned back by the end of the movie is he okay

KORG

p much everything that came out of his mouth was gold. I’m especially impressed that they managed to give him so much personality while having a face that barely changed expression.

oh Loki my favorite fucked-up fuckboy, Welcome Back. Also, thank you for suffering so much for our enjoyment, we appreciate your sacrifice.

“I WAS FALLING. FOR THIRTY MINUTES.” ngl there is a morbidly curious part of my brain that would love to show this scene to Tumblr in 2012 just to see how hard the Nut would be at seeing Loki and a Bendytoots character interacting for about 2 seconds.

“Did she just say this ship is used for orgies?”

“...don’t touch anything.”

OKAY WAIT HOW DID I GO THIS LONG WITHOUT MENTIONING HEIMDALL-JESUS. BECAUSE THAT ONE POST WAS RIGHT. HE BASICALLY IS.

On a related note though, speaking of being a savior: given Recent Events in America, I have super mixed feelings about Skurge’s big redemption moment being him literally turning into A Good Guy With A Gun. The fact that he specifically picked them up from Texas makes it a few shades even more uncomfortable.

On a lighter related note: Loki is now the Actual Embodiment of that one Tumblr Text Post Meme with “stop being so dramatic! I don’t know what you mean, I say, dramatically, surrounded by mist.” Someone please please please make that when the better quality footage comes out because holy shit.

CAPTAIN THOR OF THE GOOD SHIP ASGARD

I have very little reason to seriously believe that Loki has Turned Good Now, because that is fundamentally Not What He Is (he can certainly Do Good when he wants to, but considering he is the mythical personification of I Do What I Want, “Good” is hardly his default state), but I’m willing to bet money that they’re setting him up for some betrayal-followed-by-heroic-sacrifice plot in Infinity War. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY:

“If you were actually here, I might even give you a hug.”

“I’m here.”

I’d been seeing those quotes by themselves all over the place since the movie came out, but ACTUALLY SEEING IT IN CONTEXT OH MY H E A R T

IN CONCLUSION:

and for good measure: