#especially because a lot of people can't always afford a lunch

[supercasey]

unpopular opinion but if you bring a bunch of food to work for a small celebration, you shouldn't scold coworkers who eat a little bit of it. at least write a fucking note that says it's for certain people before you go agro on folks

[pineappleciders]

Hi Cider!!! Do you think you write about a poor y/n (gen neutral) with Tolkien, Kyle, Kenny, and Clyde? 🫶

(on another note, I absolutely love your writing glad to see you're taking requests lol ❤️)

tolkien, kyle, kenny, and clyde with a poor reader

platonic G/N reader

A/N: hii !!! this is based off of my experience of growing up lower class and such, though i was never poor to the point of like kenny so tbis might be inaccurate!!! also thank you so much :))

tolkien black

at some point after meeting your family/going to your house, it makes him feel a little bad so he talks to his parents about organizing some sort of food donation

like him and his parents make food for your family and make sandwiches and stuff, and he claims it's the least he can do

always inviting you over for dinner!!!! you two spend a lot of time playing baseball in his backyard or watching shows on his racecar bed and he lets you take all the food you want

always coming up to you during school asking if you want to hang out at his place!!! sometimes the other dudes hang out with you too and it just becomes a full blown party if his parents aren't home

at lunch he always brings a little something for you; whether it be a little snack or a drink or something he'll always think of grabbing something for you while packing his lunch

he does feel bad, so he generally tries to make everything easier on you. little things like picking up your dropped books or holding a door open for you. they're small little gestures, but it's how he shows his care!!

kyle broflovski

he doesn't really think about your financial situation often, but if you mention something to do with it or it becomes apparent or something he might think about it for awhile

he knows he can't really do anything, and it isn't his place to really feel bad, but he can't help but contemplate it, esp if it's got you feeling down

i can see him being the type of person to anonymously give you things, like if your stomach rumbles in class and you mention you didn't have a good breakfast, he might buy something from the vending machine and leave it on your desk

or he asks his mom if he can send you money in the mail (his mom thinks it's adorable that he cares) u two also have lots of sleepovers and his mom makes snacks for you!!

other than that, he doesn't treat you differently. though he does get upset when cartman harasses you over it

"dude, at least i'm not as poor as Y/N's family! their mamas so poor she puts a penny in a gumball machine and asks for change!"

kenny mccormick

he understands more than anyone!!!

it makes him comfortable to know that someone else is struggling like him,,, as his friends (cartman) always downplay his situation and make fun of him for it, it makes him happy to have a friend who gets it

he might just deadpan at you whenever someone cracks a joke about you or him being poor. he is sick and tired

sometimes you two go to the forest and skip rocks at starks pond just to get out of the house, especially if your home situation is like his.

always coming up to you once school gets out to see if you wanna go hang out with the guys or just take a walk with him or something. you two hanging out is like a win-win-win, you get to hang out with him, he gets to hang out with you, and you both get out of your homes for a bit!!

you two use puppy dog eyes to get the others to pay for your shit when eating together and then giggle mischeviously about it

clyde donovan

he doesn't really think much of it at first, like he hears people joking about you being poor all the time but he never really gave it a second thought

although he might think about it when you ask to stay at his place for the night, and suddenly he feels kinda guilty

lets you eat as much food as you want from his pantry & fridge, and he lets you take stuff home sometimes. not all the time though because even he can't afford you sneaking around his kitchen all the time (but he lets it slide more often than he'd like to admit)

probably pokes fun at you with the other guys except he's just joining in with them and has no idea what they're making fun of you for💀

he actually really enjoys sleepovers, especially with all of his friends!!! so you and him end up having a lot of slumber parties with the rest of the dudes. cartman's group refers to your sleepovers as "their gay orgy night" or "circle jerk sesh"

he forgets a lot like he never really pays your situation any mind unless it becomes apparent or you bring it up. like if you haven't washed in awhile he wonders why you stink and then he's like oh yeah and offers to sleepover so you can finally shower

[chronicbeans]

Hello! I've recently been binged reading your human illustrator wally series and I love it-!! It's amazing, and I think it would be cool to see your perception of the others too-!! That is if your comfortable to do so! Amazing work and im excited to see more in the future

I'll do my best! OwO I'll try to make it a bit short, but no promises lol. There is a bit of extra Wally info, too, simply because some of it pertains to other characters.

Human Illustrator Wally AU Character Info:

TW: Brief Mentions of Trauma/Possible Trauma, Past Bullying, Mentions of Delusions, Anxiety, and Paranoia

🖍️ Wally, alongside Barnaby and Howdy, went to a school that mainly consisted of richer families. It was kind of a school for "gifted" kids, and by "gifted" it means "both gifted, but mainly kids if families who PAID to be here". Wally and Barnaby's families paid for them to be there, while Howdy scored high enough in public school to be offered a genuine placement there. The school was a k-12 private school.

🖍️ Wally, even as a young kid, was extremely talented at art. Barnaby... well, Barnaby never really found a talent. What he doesn't realize is that he is actually pretty good at socializing and analyzing people. It was a part of the reason why he drifted towards Wally. He could tell that Wally was pretty lonely and wanted to help. Howdy drifted towards the both of them after being transferred from his public school, because the other children tended to bully him for coming from a poor family and not being able to afford trendy clothes. Howdy has a natural talent in marketing, being great at selling you basically anything. A part of it comes from how he felt he had to make excuses on why he had "cheap" items, such as a very basic lunch or a tattered bookbag.

🐛 Howdy's family was below the poverty line. Due to this his extended family either lived with them to help provide for everyone, or lived nearby to be there to fall back on. This has caused him to have a very close relationship with his family and to be hugely family oriented. His wife passed away, leaving him with their daughter, Henny. He treats her to whatever he can afford, often putting her needs before his own. He doesn't see himself as needing a lot of money, because he always saw how the more rich kids at the private school were mostly snobbish, besides Barnaby and Wally. He believes a good heart is more valuable than anything in the world.

🐾 Barnaby has always dreamed of being a comedian, however, he just can't come up with the right jokes or stunts to make people laugh. He usually starts out alright, before spiraling from both anxiety and believing that he messed up the joke and now has to explain it in vivid detail, thus ruining what good he had. He's determined, though, for better AND for worse. For better, because he has been practicing and practicing, making his jokes slightly better than before. For worse, because he soon became on the brink of being homeless. When Wally offered him a room in his house, he was forever grateful. He was also the first out of the group to figure out that Wally has hallucinations. Although he is unsure of exactly HOW he can help, he knows a few things that he can guess WON'T help, and to avoid doing those things. So, he tries his best to make Wally more comfortable whenever things get bad.

🎀 Julie LOVES fashion, of course, as a fashion designer. She especially loves the aesthetic of Childcore fashion. So, that is the bulk of the clothes she designs. She rarely puts the logo of her company on the clothes she designs, besides the tag. She believes that doing that would not only ruin the design, but be a bit devious, especially for the children's clothing designs. She doesn't want her clothing to make people walking advertisements! She wants her clothing to make people FASHIONABLE. She met the others through a brand deal, where her, Wally and Sally were working together on a show.

🌟 Sally is both a movie and play director. It usually goes that she will make a play, then make a movie out of that play. For her, the play is the most valuable form of the story, but she is well aware that some simply have trouble enjoying plays. For many, they simply do not have the imagination to fill in the details of the background details. So, the movie will help provide them a more entertaining version of the show. She can be a bit of a diva while directing people, but can always figure out when she has become too harsh and accidentally hurt someone's feelings. In those cases, she tries her best to make it up to them. She can also be a bit overdramatic, in both a good and a bad way. She wants her life to be more entertaining, like a real life show, and finds it difficult to cope with how bland the world seems to be compared to the stories she tells. So, when she met Wally and Julie on the show they were working together on, she knew she had to become their friends. They both seemed, to her, like they walked right out of a children's show.

🕊️ Poppy is as shy and anxious as ever. Now, though, she isn't too anxious to make the baked goods she comes up with herself. She has even made by Eros cooking shows with her skills. Before she found her passion of cooking and baking, however, she actually worked as a nurse. Seeing the injuries of some of her patients was what made her grow more anxious and accident wary in the first place. Eventually, she quit her job and moved back in with her family for a bit, before turning to cooking as a coping mechanism. She soon, unknowingly, became extremely good at baking and cooking meals for her family. She decided to make it into a career, when her friends and family got her to go onto a competitive cooking show and won. Then, her career as a cooking star rose up, eventually causing her to meet the others.

✉️ Eddie and Frank are both "outside" of the group. They aren't celebrities. Eddie is still just the clumsy mailman we know and love. In this specific AU, however, he has a form of ataxia that he inherited at birth. Ataxia, in a very basic explanation for those who may not know, is a condition that causes difficulty with walking and balance, coordination, speech and swallowing, and eye movements. His case is very mild, and he is receiving any available treatments he can get his hands on, but it still causes some difficulty with walking and having to make sudden, coordinated movements.

🦋 Frank is the local librarian. In fact, he owns the library. He met Eddie after ordering some books for the library, with him realizing his packages arrived from hearing Eddie trip and drop the heavy packages to the ground outside. Frank, to be frank (pun intended), was quite upset until Eddie explained his condition. After that, they slowly became friends as Frank ordered more and more packages of books to fill the library on time for its opening day. After a few years of them talking, they ended up getting into a relationship and marrying each other. To a little surprise, it was a blue haired stranger that ended up helping them out along the way, by giving love advice to them both before they asked each other out (Cough cough WALLY cough cough BUT NEITHER OF THEM RECOGNIZED HIM cough cough).

🏠 Home is just a little voice in Wally's head. A malicious one, that is. Wally's house itself seems to act as a sort of "trigger" for this specific voice, which is why Wally has nicknamed it Home. It causes an array of problems for him, from filling his mind with anxieties to even planting the seeds for brief bouts of delusion from time to time. As of recent, the delusion aspect has not been as common. Wally has found ways to ground himself back in reality, so those episodes have grown shorter and shorter. The main problems that Home causes at this point in time are anxiety and paranoia. Wally has never shared this fact, but he believes that the reason why his own house seems to be triggering Home is because he had a bad experience in his family's home when he was very little. However, Wally isn't entirely sure that his theory is true. All he knows is that Home only really talks to him whenever he is in his house, usually when he is alone in a room.

[timiddot]

work vent rant thing. sorry

most days when i go into work lately i'm very very afraid because my store manager is like. genuinely verbally abusive to all of us employees here. i talked to one of my other managers about it on friday and i didn't realize everyone else in the store felt the same way and really hated her. she makes me so scared and she yells at me a lot and i am honestly really unwell today and i would have usually called out of work but she told me last month that as of right now i am not allowed to call out without a doctors note or i risk losing my job. that was after i called out sick for two days in a row because i was seriously so sick i couldn't walk. when she told me this i started crying in front of her and i felt so embarrassed because i don't have a primary doctor and i can't afford to go to the doctor at all right now. so i'm here at work today even though i feel like i'm going to pass out. it makes me feel so guilty to come into work feeling bad especially when i am a bit sick because i'm a cashier and i'm so paranoid about making other people sick. i wear a mask and wash my hands really often at work so i hope i'm okay and today i feel more physically-disabled bad than anything but i'm still dealing with that sickness from december honestly. i feel so guilty for being disabled working here. and even when i think i'm okay to like call out again without a doctor's note, i'm still scared of doing that with her at my boss, she's verbally berated me over the phone for calling out before.

i'm so scared and so tired and all i want to do is cry and sleep. i'm scared of every day of work because she's the store manager, so she's usually here. i'm scared of every conversation with her. i'm scared to ask to go to lunch because no matter how i ask, it always pisses her off. i'm scared to ask for someone to take over on the register before i leave because no matter how i ask, she's angry with it. i've started just trying to ask other people to cover my lunch directly and she's gotten mad at me for that too. everything i do is wrong somehow, no matter how i do it. she tells me to "SMILE at the customers!" knowing damn well i have never come into a single shift at this job not wearing a mask. she condescends to me every single time she tells me to "do my job" the right way. i am factually good at the customer service aspect of my job and she acts like because i have a slightly quiet voice and i don't get fucking credit cards (because i don't push them as hard as possible because i don't have a fucking desire to scam people. the APR is 34% for fucks sake) i'm a bumbling fucking idiot who doesn't know that you have to be nice to fucking customers. i need to submit a complaint about her somewhere (i know the places i can) and my other manager very much encouraged me to do that. it's just been taking such a heavy toll on me mentally, this whole situation with her being my store manager for the last 2 ½ months. my old store manager was suddenly fired for reasons i don't know. he sucked too + idk what happened with him but he wasn't making me cry every single day.

[heartfe1t]

no thoughts just ben plunkett my prom pact son... a summary

awkward boy, had an Incident when he was younger and has sorta made himself fade into the background since so people stopped insulting him all the time. instead they just don't know his name.

he thinks he can be okay with that because he has mandy, his best friend in the whole world, and their standing friday night plans.

they have/he has two other friends in charles and zenobia, but they at least put themselves out there and go to things... ben just Wants to. he never does

he has a history of wanting to do things and not pursuing them... it's easier to just be afraid and anxious and focus on school and listening to mandy's worldview, trying to believe she's obviously right so that he can be okay with not having much of a life outside of her and them. books, movies, and waffles. (with chocolate chips, it's better than without).

i'm sorry but no disney you cannot convince me he's not objectively attractive. who is saying he has no shoulders? have you seen milo manheim. he's also very tall- he would have trouble not drawing attention to himself. the reason he struggles socially is because of his awkwardness attributed to his lack of socialization after complete ostrasization. moral of the story kids are cruel. it's clear too that no one has completely forgotten the Incident. they just forgot to remember Him... so they can't make fun of him if they don't remember him.

he doesn't believe he has much to look forward to, in all honesty. as much as mandy talks about people peaking in high school, a lot of ben wants to be a part of high school life, especially in his senior year, as he realizes maybe he needs a legacy. because college for him isn't going anywhere. his family simply cannot afford to send him anywhere else. so as much as he's thrilled and excited for mandy and really believes she's gonna get what she's looking for with harvard, he doesn't have any plans like that. so for him... as much as he likes to try to convince himself he doesn't- part of him Does really care to have something to share with his classmates.

prom king- though not earned... honestly makes his year. it doesn't matter that no one actually voted for him. they're going to remember him. he's going to remember this forever. it's a shame it took up until just before prom for him to break outside of his shell a bit. because no, ben didn't like the party, he ended up playing mom friend and collecting people's cups the whole time... but he met someone amazing. someone who did remember him- know him. of all his popular classmates- latoya saw him. even though no one else really did beyond mandy. that relationship, his first actual girlfriend that wasn't in junior high or elementary school or something, doesn't last through all of college- but she opened him up. he'll always appreciate her for that. she made him see himself as so much more than that boy in the background. and yeah- he'd had a crush on her since they were project partners in class.

ben literally loves and adores mandy with all of his heart. even if she forgot it was his birthday at first, he treasures their drives to school together in the morning, their friday night traditions, having someone to spend lunches with... she makes high school so much better. to have a partner in crime. and hey- he never went to a high school dance even though part of him deep down wanted to, but he did spend those evenings with his very best friend in the whole world. that's more than enough.

[rotationalsymmetry]

General post about fatness:

First, most importantly, fat people are people and deserve basic human rights like access to health care and, eg, an ability to eat whatever the fuck they feel like without the entire world breathing down their shoulders about it. Fat people, no matter how fat and no matter why they're fat, have a right to exist in public without harassment, deserve to not be discriminated against in the workplace, and deserve to be treated considerately and respectfully by people around them. To be treated like people and not like walking fixer uppers.

But also, the effect of people's choices on whether they're fat or not is somewhere between less than most people think, and zilch.

There's some evidence that attempting to lose weight statistically leads to a higher weight in the long run than not attempting to lose weight. (Including when taking starting weight into account.) Which sounds made up but, well. There are also negative effects of attempted weight loss, sometimes very related to a person's relationship to food and their self image and sometimes unrelated, like just not being able to spend that time and attention on something else.

But also, while being obese is correlated with worse health outcomes (being overweight is actually correlated with a longer life than being a "normal" weigh) it's not clear that that's a causal relationship, as opposed to, well, sick people can be unusual thin or unusually fat. Sickness is correlated with disregulation in general, sometimes that's fever, sometimes that's dangerously high or low blood pressure, sometimes that's dangerously high or low blood sugar levels, sometimes that's weight gain. Plus, it's not clear how much of the negative outcomes of being fatter aren't actually about the fat itself but are about social stigma against fat people, leading to more stressful lives, lower incomes, less social support, and often substantially worse health care.

It's possible to take a weight neutral approach to health, individually. It's possible to take a weight neutral approach to health collectively, eg by having walkable cities, combatting food desserts, holding public school lunches to high nutritional standards, and making sure workers get sufficient time off (which is good for stress management and for eg not dpreading communicable diseases.) It's also possible when focusing on the individual to just accept that lots of people do things that are pleasurable but not that healthy/safe, from staying up late to riding motorcycles, and people get to do that, including when that involves eating high calorie food and being a couch potato, and including when those people are also fat.

(and also weight is not as correlated with food choices as people think. Lots of thin people eat junk food and lots of fat people eat undressed lettuce for lunch every day and are still fat. And also food choices aren't always choices, sometimes people can't afford more nutritious food. And also...)

Disabled people are both more likely to be fat and more likely to not be able to "make healthy choices". Poor people are both more likely to be fat (in part because food insecurity, either through dieting or from just not having food, tends to lead to more weight gain in the long run) and more likely to not be able to "make healthy choices". Some people of color are more likely to be fat due to genetics, possibly on top of other factors like poverty and disability.

and also not all fat people are judged equally. Fatness tends to be held against women more, held against visibly trans people more, held against visibly/known to be disabled people more (including developmentally or intellectually disabled people), held against people who are poorly dressed more (for instance due to poverty or disability, including disabilities that aren't otherwise visible), and held against people of color more. Ergo, while fatphobia harms all fat people, it especially harms people who are transgender, disabled, poor, and/or non-white especially badly and resisting fat phobia/supporting fat liberation has the potential to be of extra benefit to those people.

(plus also there's a lot to be said for viewing fatness to be itself in the same category as disabilities and deformities, not because fat people are automatically less capable but because the discrimination plays out the same way. And there's overlap sufficiently often, with medical conditions being a factor in weight gain or medications being a factor in weight gain fairly often, that often it's not possible to tell whether someone being fat is caused by a disability or not.)

oh and I left out: sometimes gaining weight into an overweight or obese category is correlated with better health, as in recovery from eating disorder or from a different condition that caused weight loss.

Anyways there's a lot going on with fatness and societal assumptions about fatness and I always feel like I'm doing the rest of them a disservice when I only talk about one or two so here's a whole bunch all together.

[theoldaeroplane]

jouwnaling

had a really, really nice day yesterday, was just in a lovely mood all day. I think it may have been related to the fact I did not get high the night before, so I'm going to try to test that theory and dial my usage down. I really enjoy weed and think it has a lot of benefits, especially for neurodivergent folk, but I'm recognizing that I used it as a way to cope with my situations last year. I'd like to wean myself off it a bit and be more present now that my life is starting to not suck. Still gonna keep it around for fun and really bad ruminating though. Weed makes it so much easier for me to hang out with people in person for a long time, and to go into overstimulating spaces.

Been having tons of fun rotating my version of Link in my brain for Antebellum (the WIP name of my LoZ fic). He has so many problems. He is a dumb motherfucker. I'm also consciously putting a lot of things I've been struggling with into this story, both to process them for myself and to give the fic, you know, that extra layer of authenticity, relatability? It's nice, I'm excited to be excited again. I'm gonna fuck up that elf boy so bad.

Had my second yoga class last night, it was nice. I'm not sure if I can afford to keep going but I'm going to try to. In a way it feels silly to pay for something I could technically do for free at home with a YouTube video, but I think the atmosphere makes a significant enough difference to be worth paying for.

Finally made a vet appointment for the dog. She needs her shots and I can't put off the fact she needs dental surgery any longer.

I really, really need to reopen commissions, but I still feel burned out on art. I'm trying to make some adoptables and YCHs as a middle ground. Haven't had a lot of success there yet. That said, I've been putting a lot of my energy into cleaning up my house and taking care of myself. The house is coming along really well, and hopefully soon I'll have it leveled out enough to make it a nicer space for my creative endeavors.

I applied for another job this week, one totally out of my field and experience: house cleaning. It's not something I'd ever considered, but I found the listing by chance and it occurred to me that a job where I just clean and listen to podcasts sounds like heaven. Especially for my autistic ass. No constant stream of customers. No dress shirts. No repeatedly explaining terms and price sheets. Just show up and clean. I'm sure such a job has its own frustrations (hard on the body, exceptionally gross houses, telling people when something is not in my job description, driving a lot), but, like. My current job---while I genuinely like a lot of the work, and I really love my boss and coworkers---the customer service aspect is killing me, the dress code brings back bad memories, and even though I'm working full time (over full time, even, I'm there 8:30-5 because I take a thirty minute lunch break) I'm not making enough to fully support myself. I keep getting sent home early because there's nothing for me to do, and my boss is only a regional manager and has been very forthcoming with the fact I am already at the absolute highest end of the payscale for my position without taking on more responsibilities.

The fact that I can be working full time and still have to rely on a side hustle, and even THEN can't put anything aside for savings, is awful. I can't do more hours, I can't take on more responsibilities, and I can't get a second job. Any of those things would seriously compromise my mental health and I have to take care of myself. I've always dreaded it when I'm asked to take on more responsibilities at my jobs. I don't want advancement, I don't want to manage anyone (I can barely manage myself!), I don't give a shit what my title is. I want to do my work really well, get paid, and go home.

And the cleaning job, at the absolute lowest end, still pays about 5k more per year than my current position.

So, currently, yeah, housecleaning sounds like a dream job. Show up. Clean. Leave. Repeat. The company in question also has glowing employee reviews on Glassdoor, with the worst things being "could pay better" and "sometimes there's favoritism." I don't have any qualms about """being a maid""" on like a social level or whatever. I like the idea that I would be making a tangible difference for individuals, instead of printing out hundreds of advertising mailers that are going to go directly into the trash. I finding cleaning very satisfying. I like the idea of not sitting around bored because there's no customers and nothing to do and I'm not allowed to have my phone out, and then getting sent home early so I miss out on half my pay for that day. And so much less masking! My god! It sounds like paradise!

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, but sometimes that's because it really is better grass.

So. Hoping to hear back about that soon. I filled out a questionnaire thing for them yesterday that seemed like it was basically checking to see if I was a narcissistic sociopath or not. I have a weekend without any Special Events happening for the first time in like a month, just my tabletop games and my volunteer work. My clothes and bedding are all washed, I got most of the dog piss smell out of the carpet from when I was too exhausted to take her out often enough, and I cut my hair. I have a writing project again. I've been making new friends and reconnecting with old ones. I adore going out to the barn every saturday. My therapist says I'm doing really, really well. Everything's coming up Corgi, for now. Fingers crossed :)

[stormyoceans]

To the previous ask about jimmy and sea characters from the mv:

There should be a reason why jimmy's chars stays at home most the time and the reason is Trauma ofc vcthnkb maybe he had a big fight with his parents and since than he lives alone. Maybe his past lovers were unkind to him (i imagine it like he doesn't know what love is but he dated different people just to not be alone (maybe his previous roommates? He moved from place to place himself for a while until he found this house from mv. Maybe he always said yes when people asked him because he's so alone. Puenification of Jimmy's mv character jdndndjd)) and at the end they always figured out that he doesn't love them romantically and there always were scandals. He was so done with relationship he made pact with himself to not date roommates in this house and boom Sea appears. But before he realises he wants to date him: i imagine jimmy's character as straightforward and honest (not the type of person who would pine, he would just confess) and in a lot of cases people think he's rude when he doesn't have intentions to be rude (do you understand what I mean?). (Sea likes it) But this is only in cases when he KNOWS JFBFJJH he just doesn't know he's in love for some time. And Sea well... He has his fair share of bad dating experience. Maybe he's overtaker! And his different partners all said to him (in one form or another)that he takes too much space in their lives and cares too much. He decided to just stay by jimmy's side because he thought the intensity of his feelings would scare him. They will help each other to change?

I think jimmy's character doesn't like to do house chores and cook (even though he stays at home most of the times). He can do it but he doesn't like it. He can cook only simple dishes just to eat something. Sea at the other hand is hardworking and he's from a family when he needed to take care of himself from the young age and he learned to like it, especially to cook. So when he has time he makes Jimmu different delicious dishes and their joint lunches and dinners are a whole interesting ritual for both of them (this is the only case when jimmy likes to do chores).

Once Sea returns home and sees his bestie laying on the floor, legs shown back against the wall, a pen in his mouth and a sketch of a person with his face lies nearby. He sighs and smiles and asks about it and Jimmy answers that he's his inspiration and this is for new book and demands to take him on a journey this weekend, when Sea's free, because he needs to write beach scene but he can't.

Once Sea takes him to the shop too and Jimmy helps here and finds that he like to take care of plants (and doesn't particularly likes to talk to clients). And this is how they are, always find to spend time with each other and to do something interesting together.

100k, friends to lovers, cohabitation, hurt/comfort and more pink cotton, plants and water (I firstly wanted to add benefits in the mix but i think I'll die bxrchjnk)

Y'ALL CANNOT DO THIS TO ME IM ALREADY ONE POST AWAY FROM GETTING INVOLUNTARY COMMITED ON A DAILY BASIS I SIMPLY CANNOT AFFORD TO START GOING RABID OVER THE CHARACTERS OF A 5 MINUTES MUSIC VIDEO THAT WE'RE NEVER GONNA SEE AGAIN THE MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS INTERVENTION TEAM CURRENTLY IN MY ROOM SAYS IT'S NOT GOOD FOR ME

...........BUT ALSO GRUMPY RECLUSIVE WRITER JIMMY WITH A TOO BIG OF AN IMAGINATION AND DOWN TO EARTH SUNSHINE FLORIST SEA IS MAKING ME FROTH AT THE MOUTH CLAW AT THE WALLS BITE MY OWN ARM OFF IT'S SO DELICIOUS!!!!!! IS IT PERHAPS A BIT TOO CLICHÉ???? MAYBE. DO I CARE?????? NOPE!!!!!!!!!!!

LIKE HEAR ME OUT. i love the idea of jimmy's character having had a big fight with his family and that being the reason why he lives alone: maybe his parents are both prestigious doctors and since jimmy is an only child they wanted him to follow in their footsteps and become a doctor too (see what i did here??? okay, that's not funny), but jimmy always wanted to be a writer and during one of their many fights his dad ended up destroying or deleting the draft of the very first novel jimmy was writing, which ended in jimmy running away from home and never coming back. after that he went from place to place, from job to job, from relationship to relationship, but they were all just temporary things, he knew they wouldn't lasts forever, until finally he managed to publish his first novel and it immediately became a huge success, and with the money he made he decided to settle down somewhere. after looking at many places, he saw the house in the mv and for some reason it spoke to him and decided that he had to live there, but to buy the house he ends up spending all the money he has and now he has to find a housemate to share the expenses with, at least until he's gonna write his next book

after a series of terrible housemates - some of which were just lousy, others that he ended up hooking up with but all ended badly like you said - he meets sea's character, and as i mentioned in the previous post it takes them a while to get closer, but then they quickly become best friends. i LOVE the idea of jimmy being very blunt and direct, saying everything he thinks, and sea being the first person to not take offense but actually liking how straightforward jimmy is, just like i love jimmy not being a great cook and never particularly caring about eating well or doing chores until sea came along and suddenly jimmy's looking forward to sharing meals with him and washing the dishes together afterwards

DON'T EVEN LET ME START ON SEA SUDDENLY BECOMING JIMMY'S INSPIRATION FOR HIS BOOK BECAUSE IT MAKES ME WANT TO GO DROWN INTO THE NEAREST RIVER. jimmy having these big scenarios coming to life in his head as he writes and the main character slowly morphing into sea, which sometimes can be dangerous because he ends up daydreaming so much that fantasy sea would be doing something while the real sea is just looking at him like 'you with me?' and it brings jimmy back to reality. another thing jimmy ends up incorporating into his book because of sea is the language of flowers: the day sea brings him along to the flower shop, sea spend the entire time teaching him how to repot and take care of all the different plants and telling him about their meaning (speaking of which, i wish i could recognize the small flowers jimmy smells in the mv)

and since at this point it’s tradition to have namtan in all jimmysea series, let’s say the flower shop belongs to her and that as soon as she sees them together she knows what’s going on: she immediately understands that sea is in love with jimmy, but she knows that because he’s only ever had a couple of serious relationships that ended with him being dumped for ‘taking it too seriously’, he has a hard time actually trusting someone with his feelings again, and jimmy clearly likes sea back but he doesn’t seem to have realize it yet

also the first time jimmy and sea fight is because jimmy finds out that sea’s dream is to become a film director, but that he wasn’t able to pursue it because of his family, and jimmy thinks it was a situation similar to his own, when the truth is that sea’s mom is pretty ill and can barely work, so as soon as he finished high school he started working to help her out and give his little sister the opportunities he couldn’t have. jimmy of course doesn’t know all of this at first, so he ends up saying some hurtful things that make sea lash back at him, but in the end they can’t stay angry at each other for long: they apologize and talk and idk where im going with this exactly, but maybe in the end jimmy is gonna teach sea that it’s okay to put yourself first and dream a little bigger, and sea is gonna teach jimmy that there’s beauty to be found in the real world too

NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME I NEED TO GO KILL MYSELF FR

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

I usually stick to the tags, but I felt the need to defend the things op mentioned. (this is based on my on experience in living in the south in the nightmare that is rural america)

still lives with parents: the housing market is a joke. and renting is super expensive--especially if you have pets. a lot of low income housing won't let you have pets. you have to pay a huge security deposit just to move in. that you are theoretically supposed to be able to get back if you move out and kept the place in at least the condition it was in when you moved it. but no one ever gets it back, that's just a pretty lie landlords tell you. i am in my mid 30s; the only friends my age that own homes are the ones who are married. bc you cannot afford to buy a house alone. (in one case, a friend got a house bc some great uncle died with no children, and left it to her dad. who already owned a home, so he let her live in. but kept it in his name so she wouldn't have to pay property taxes on it). even renting alone is a struggle; i don't know anyone who rents without having a roommate. so of course they chose to stay with their parents; it's cheaper and you already know how to navigate living with them. also, some people just prefer to live with their parents. (kudos to them, i lived with my parents until i was 28 and if I didn't get out i was gonna lose my fucking mind) i also want to add that since covid, many millennials live with their parents to help care for them bc they got covid that turned to long covid. or any other sort of health condition. i have an acquaintance whose mother had to move in with her due to illness. there are people who stay with their parents due to their own illness.

unemployed: applying for jobs is just a torture process where you have to submit an application and resume, answer questions online that you already have answered in the resume, and wait to hear back. if you don't get completely ghosted, the pay is usually shit--but they still require a degree or a certain level of experience. (i've literally seen jobs offering $12 an hour and expect you to have a 4 year degree) you're expected to be a 'team player' aka do more than is required and/or was told would be your responsibilities. for pay that you still can't live on. (during covid there were less workers and businesses managed to run on short staffing and they've just decided to keep doing it). also some people can't work due to illness or disability. no one I know who is unemployed wants to be; they want to earn an income. (i harbor a special hatred in my heart for the phrase 'people don't want to work these days', usually said by a boomer or an older gen x person. like first off, nobody wants to work. we have 8 hour workdays where we get either 30 minutes or an hour for lunch. nobody wants to work that long, it's literally 1/3 of your day even without adding in how long the commute takes. then employers expect you to always be available; they call and email during your time off and get angry when you don't respond. on your day off. and nobody is actually hiring; they say they are then leave a position unfilled and make the other workers pick up the slack because that's cheaper. or there are 'part time' jobs that make you work as many hours as they legally can without being considered full time so they don't have to give you benefits and/or insurance. the modern workplace is a nightmare

doesn't have a driver's license: cars are death machines. car accidents cause over 40,000 deaths a year. a lot of people have anxiety about driving cars, especially if they've been in an accident before. and also, cars are expensive. if you don't plan on buying one, why would you pay to get a driver's license? (i won't get on my soapbox about how we need more public transportation, BUT WE DO)

didn't graduate high school: the people who drop out of high school are usually the ones not getting their needs met by the school system. a student who is performing well and receiving adequate support is far less likely to drop out. but a lot of kids fall through the cracks. (mostly bc educators are overworked and schools are understaffed. one teacher cannot meet the needs of 25+ students crammed in a single classroom)

*just an aside here as someone who used to work in education: (ignore this if you don't plan on getting a job) if you can't stay in school for whatever reason, look into getting a GED bc most jobs require at least a high school diploma or GED. you get them through online courses/classes. your local community college will offer something. if you aren't sure where to get information about how to do any of this stuff, go to the nearest library. libraries are magical places that serve their communities in a lot of different ways besides just letting you check out books. and if you need any sort of books or whatever to get a GED you do not have to pay for them, just pirate them online. (just make sure to use a vpn, or go somewhere that has accessible wifi. or you may get a email or letter from your internet service provider warning you they'll cut your internet if you keep pirating) (also i hope i don't sound like i'm talking down to you here; but you'd be surprised the amount of gen z that don't know how to pirate stuff. or who refuse to do it bc it's 'stealing' and like yeah, technically it is, but so what? it's not hurting anyone)

Can we stop using "still lives with their parents" or "unemployed" or "doesn't have a drivers license" or "didn't graduate high school" as an insult or evidence that someone is a bad person? Struggling with independence or meeting milestones is not a moral failing.

[megabunnie]

It took over four months of non stop applying, but my first interview in a decade went really well. It's not much, 3.5 hours a day, four days a week for less than $15/hour, but it's a little bit of cushion, and it works with my schedule for child care. The woman that interviewed me didn't look down on me for spending the last decade and a half doing unpaid labor for other people, which I was happily surprised by.

Things have been so bleak recently. I've been stretching the money as thin as I can and robbing Peter to pay Paul. I've been strategically using my overdraft for over a year now. Between over due medical bills and getting hit with extra expenses, and all the shenanigans with my bank and card, it's been really fucking hard. The ends are getting further and further apart.

I'm hoping to qualify for a medical study to bring a bit more in. If I could figure out how to do it and I thought there was a market for it, I'd sell feet pics and used panties. At this point there isn't a whole lot I'm not willing to at least try to do to dig us out of the current hole we've sunk into. Especially considering it's almost entirely because of MY medical bills.

We're financially responsible people. My spouse has a decent job, $22/hour. We don't buy things that aren't necessary out side the occasional splurge on a treat at the store, and nine times out of ten its for the kids. We don't take big trips. We don't buy the newest trends or electronics. We never have. We plan for months and sometimes years for purchases bigger than $100. We don't buy basically anything new. Not even for the kids. For fucks sake, I plan groceries around the sales and do the math on gas to figure out which stores to go to in what order for the highest efficiency and savings. I haven't bought meat that isn't on discount in over seven years. We dont buy alcohol or cigarettes or weed. Weve never used drugs. We've never been in trouble with the law. Yet here we are. Straining to make ends meet and buried in debt. Because I got sick. I'm still sick. I will always be sick. I can't afford my medication and copays, even though we have the "good" insurance. Going to the doctor literally takes food out of my kids mouths.

I'm not new poor, either. I grew up poor. Pre 2008 we were poor. Like, the only food in the house was from the food bank, electric off, wash your clothes in the tub with dish soap or shampoo, sometimes just water. Stole toilet paper from the gas station. Hid food from my school lunches in my pockets and back pack to save for later. We made it work. We also were eligible for assistance. That's what saved us growing up. I've done this for 30 goddamn years.

Just my spouses income puts us $27 over the income limits for any of it. Twenty. Seven. Dollars. They don't make that much, especially not now that theyve cut the raises to every other year instead of annual. It was usually 10 to 15 cents. It's still 10 to 15 cents.

No snap benefits. We have insurance through spouses work, but the copays and prescription costs are too much. Can't afford to send littlest dude to pre-k because we're over the income cut off. The frustration is real. I just secured childcare so we can have me work - and thats way underpaying the woman doing it, but it helps both families, and even with me working we still can't afford to put him in pre-k. Limited availability hasn't helped me finding a job either. I'm damn lucky to have found this one and it took months and a fucking miracle.

I'm so damn tired. We're gonna make it work.

[itssidge]

2. PETA (Celebrating little success)

Part I. Who are you?

The future lawyer was born and he's age is 17 and have tall height 5'3 and cuter than you boyfriend he's name CeeJay Ladon I have two sides this is moody and some times crazy I have brown color that I get to my father and for my attitude I get it to my mother and also my nose but my beautiful eyes, I get it to my lovely father I was born on a sunny day in tanza Cavite but I live here in Cuyapo N. E. I'm only poor baby when my father died and because of that I grow to my aunt and I was lucky for her because she treet me like here real child and she giving all that I need were anly poor we don't have anything but because of my aunt we are eating three times a day she is strict when it comes too money because all things to her have a value she believes that time is gold every day every minutes every secons for her is important but let's go back in our topic, me I only want in my life is to have a better future my ambition in my life is to be a successful lawyer be cause if I become a successful lawyer I can help my family in their problems and also the people that need help if I achieve that, because that ambition is only a dream because we are only poor we don't have enough money to take that course so my possible course that I can take is education that is the course that we can afford but it's ok because teaching children is my hobbies so to achieve that ambition I need to work hard for the better future I need to work because I don't have anything I don't have mother and also father to guide me so I need to work for my self for answering the question that who am I, I'm Cee-Jay Ladon the future Teacher.

Part II. How are you?

Well for now the five footer is doing great and also doing some school works it's hard but it's exciting I wanna buy something but I don't have money so that, I'm always here in our house my routine every day is only wake up in a morning then eating breakfast and after that I'm going to the bed and using phone I'll do is scroll to same where and if I'm done scrolling to some appi will go next to that store I'll buy some snacks so that I can eat it on the evening and if I m done buying I'm going back in our house ang will eat because its lunch time and if I'm done eating lunch I doing back again to the bed and I

will do is to scroll again to some apps and sometimes I'm cleaning my room but mostly that I'm doing is to sleep that is the one of my hobby, that's why my nanay getting mad at me all the time and every evening I can't sleep I can't go to school at the same time because my sleeping time at night is 12am or some times 2am because of watching kdrama and reading some stories in Wattpad but my fav genre is BL but right now I'm doing some school work and I'd like to go to somewhere Walter mark or SM but my favorite place is computer shop to for get all that happened computer is like my comfort zone I enjoy playing especially when I'm with my friends I for get anything when I'm playing with my friends our favorite games is LOL here I can show my feelings ang emotion here I can do all, were eating some snacks and street foods while playing a games our favorite food is kalamares with matching spicy vinegar bu my most favorite food is sinigang na baboy for me this is delicious.

Part III. Tanga Poem

I break the high score on beat box game

And I eat a lot of street food because my friends treat me

I look to somewhere, so I can but a food

I see teenager riding at the peris wheel

And I ride to train, and when where done I don't want to try it again.

[aero-sense]

So, it took me an unusually long time to get this post out. Personal life got in the way and there were technical difficulties with the game. Right when I got to the last part before facing the boss, an enemy wouldn't drop a key item and then my save files got corrupted, so I had to replay the entire level again...

...

...

(¶⁋ ▾ ¶⁋)

Luckily it didn't take as long as I thought because i finished running around getting every single information. So here we go!

This is not meant to be a critical review or a detailed walkthrough. All I will do is point out little details I notice or like. I'm doing this for my own fun, not to be accurate.

Port village:

Something cool I didn't mention before is that the game screen uses large gears and elements (ie. water, fire) when you select things.

An issue with the game is how unlit the models are, especially during the cut scenes for this level.

The soundtrack of the game is really immersive. The music fades out with atmospheric sounds like whispering in the village, fog horns from ships, and birds calling. It's relaxing and one of the best parts of the game.

The location of the port village is in the Earth Kingdom, on a peninsula very close to the fire nation. The village went under FN occupation several years ago (according to the PSP version).

This level really goes in depth with the effects of colonization and what happens to a village under FN occupation. The villagers are taxed heavily and are expected to feed fire nation soldiers. Supplies like food and medicine are confiscated or outright stolen. Sentimental objects like family heirlooms are taken to demoralize villagers. They are confined to the village, under constant supervision and threat of imprisonment. A woman has to use tax money to afford food and is afraid the captain will find her.

One of the quests you have to help an old widow being harassed by tax collectors. Those outside of the village are taxed more. Her husband was an EK hero until he died and left her only a house. The soldiers are threatening to evict her from her house if she can't pay her taxes ( don't worry we kill them :)).

Despite losing most of their supplies, villagers will regret that they can't offer food to us. The FN did not kill their generous spirit.

Most of the overheard sound lines you get from FN soldiers are jokes and sympathy. What they're having for lunch, how they hate this place, and a lot of jokes about their military life. There are fire benders that object to the treatment of the village and Katara (currently imprisoned). The game portrays most soldiers would be happy to leave the military and get along with other nations.

Villagers will gossip about Katara in prison, FN soldiers will object to it, but no one mentions Zuko. No one cares... (Did you hear they captured prince zuko and that poor, POOR, water bender girl??? How could they be so CRUEL).

To sneak around, we end up taking stealing uniforms from small soldiers, suggesting that the Fire Nation take children into their infantry, what a surprise. They also hate talking to children, always responding with "ugh, good riddance" or "stay away" (those soldiers and us disguised). Maybe Zhao didn't have a vendetta against Zuko, maybe the FN is just like that, lol.

Momo's theme song is the same track when sneaking around. They add the same blur effect and people making momo sounds from the show when you play as him. He has an idle animation where he flips his ears around and does a cute little somersault in the air when he finds something what a cutie i love you Momo.

Have this glitched screenshot of Momo t-posing in the shop.

Certain characters can open chests and the location indicates who, such as being near water for Katara, or simple mechanisms for Sokka. This level decided some flowers and butterflies fit Aang. Cute.

So it makes sense that the FN attack you when you unlock chests, but they don't when you use bending to reveal them. This suggests the FN soldiers could care less if you're a water bender in disguise, but God forbid if you take their stuff.

You can help a random FN servant from being pelted by fruits from EK villagers. It's suggested that he's from the commoner and isn't a formal soldier (what his exact status is unclear). After telling him about soldiers stealing supplies, he expresses shame for his nation and wants you to tell his master, a good captain. The captain appreciates you helping his servant, condemns the corrupt captain, and promises to end the stealing.

You can help free other prisoners when you come for Katara. There is one Fire Nation soldier, who was locked up as a test subject for the FN war machines. The FN does human experimentation :)

[DS]

I like how Sokka tries to take charge and Aang reminds him he's over 100 years old, then Sokka backtracks and asserts his authority as the youngest in the group.

So overall, the humor pretty off base in the game, you especially see it more as the story progresses. However, in this version, the humor is way better and more refreshing. I think it helps with the expressive sprites and lack of voice acting.

There's a kid that sings Iroh's song, cute!

At the docks, a sailor says goods are disappearing off ships. The FN are deliberately targeting foreign looking merchant ships like his.

I like how Sokka and Aang look in their disguises and while walking, their sprites look just enough like the other guards while remaining them.

At the prison, Aang apologizes for coming up with a plan first and calls Sokka captain. He uses that nickname twice, and I wonder if it's influenced from the time they "ice dodged" together.

About voice acting, you do hear some during important cutscenes, right after you fight the boss for instance. Personally, I prefer if they just cut it out, it's very jarring to hear after playing mostly without it.

[PSP]

The game emphasizes that Aang is a lot more adventurous and risk-taking while Sokka pretends to be brave.

More expansion of the prison. The town used to have many young men until the FN locked them all up over false accusations or concerns of rebellion. The town is now dwindling without its able workers. This gets even worse, considering this establishes the FN uses slavery throughout their colonies.

Something I appreciate is how diverse a lot of the designs are for this version. This guy had no reason to look like this.

This game adds a lot of nuance towards how EK feel about the FN. Some villagers in the town are having a vivid conversation. One says that one day they'll wipe the town clean of FN (fair). The other says how not all are bad, some disagree with their nation's actions like down by the port (referenced below).

Evidence of the FN not being in unison towards the war. When you talk to a FN soldier (outside of disguise), he talks how a lot of people are questioning the FN's actions, how they recently captured a woman and put her into forced labor, and that he's getting doubts about being a soldier now.

After rescuing Katara, she insists on saving the woman mentioned above, Lian, a captured mechanic. In the other versions Sokka objects, upset that she "works" for the FN, having already fought her machine. However, in this version, Sokka uses logic and doesn't blame her for her circumstances! Can't tell you how refreshing this was.

Lian is so ominously anime in this artstyle...

If the DS version has better humor, the PSP version has a much better script. The conversations flow much better, the characters act more naturally instead of just following plot beats, and their dynamics are more positive like in the show.

[deceasedream69]

Summary: Jason has a crush on you but after you "humiliate" him you had to search for someone's help to get you out.

This shit is loooong. Lol

______________________________________

Jason pulled me from my waist, planting a kiss on my lips, in front of the whole cafeteria.

- "ew!", I said pulling back. Not controlling what I just said.

- "what do you mean by ew?", Said Jason grabbing me from my shoulders.

- "oooohhhh", said the people watching us.

- "fuck off", I said pushing him and walking away.

- "wow, you ok?", Said a guy I pushed by accident while I leaved the cafeteria.

- "sorry", I said quickly, walking away.

After the whole lunch situation I just had to get to my last 2 classes and I was free. Relieved and thinking happily my plans for the afternoon I placed some books in my locker.

Until someone closed it, scaring me.

- "you think you can humiliate me in front of the whole school just like that?"

- "I didn't tell you to kiss me", I said trying to walk away. But two guys blocking me. I got really scared.

- "right now you have a free pass, just because mrs smith is always wandering around the halls", he got close to my ear. "But see you after school"

I hugged my books and went to my next class. I couldn't stop fidgeting the whole class, thinking of a plan to leave school without Jason and his bullies noticing.

> do I fit in the vents, how do I know which vent will lead me out? < I kept bitting the skin around my nails.

- "hey, you okay? You're bleeding"

- "huh? Oh, what are you doing here? Not like... Not like something bad, you're just never in this class", i said smiling.

- "I can't afford to lose this class again. Here", said Eddie taking his handkerchief from his back pocket. He took my hand and cleaned the blood. "Are you okay? You seemed nervous"

- "I'm worried about this class too", I said smiling.

- "oh, come on, you're one of the best students out there. Keep it", he said turning back, leaving me his handkerchief.

I hold it with both of my hands, it calmed me for a while before going back to the thought of Jason.

> at least I have something to clean my blood after I get my ass dragged< I smiled looking at the handkerchief.

Eddie noticed and smiled too.

_

My last class went smooth, but I didn't got anyone to distract me this time.

I was the last one to leave the classroom, putting everything in my backpack slowly. Then walking slowly. Trying to delay my torture.

I took a different route, to the parking lot.

Luckily no one saw me. I hid behind a bushed and some cars.

- "ah!", I got scared when I saw someone sitting over there. He put his cigarette out and stared at me. Well, I don't know if it was a cigarette. "I'm sorry, I promise I won't tell anyone", I said peaking through the bushes to see if someone has heard or seen me.

He got the smoke out and coughed a little.

- "you look scared, sweetheart, are you okay? Who are you hiding from?"

- "shh"

He got close to me.

- "what?"

- "Jason", i whispered. My hands fidgeting again.

- "whoa, what happened?"

- "he kissed me in the cafeteria and I kinda... Rejected him... And said ew..."

- "oof, not good for a guy's ego, especially someone who has dogs with him all the time. Want a ride?"

I thought about it for a few seconds.

- "sure"

- "come here", he whispered. He was leading the way cautiously so Jason wouldn't see me.

They were searching for me at the parking lot already.

- "over there!"

- "let's go!", Eddie pulled me from my wrist. Opening his van fast, igniting it and driving away.

I rubbed my wrist slightly, breathing fast.

- "sorry"

- "huh?"

- "the wrist"

- "sorry? You saved me. Thanks", i said looking through the window.

- "i kinda... Need to know your address to take you home"

I laughed.

- "sorry, it's *address*"

- "not so far from my house", he smiled.

- "really, where do you live?"

- "nah, what if you try to kidnap me or something like that?"

I laughed.

- "you can technically be the one kidnapping me right now"

- "oh no, you caught me, now I guess I'll have to", he said grabbing the handkerchief I had in my back pocket, the one he gave me, and putting it in my face.

Both of us laughing.

- "why do people keep saying that you're... I'm sorry... It's just, you're nothing like people make you see"

- "shocker, huh?"

- "do you have music?"

- "I don't think you'll like it"

I pressed play and something loud started to sound, I got a little shook when it started,but I liked it.

- "you can pause it here"

- "no", I said stopping his hand. "I kinda like it"

- "sure", he smiled turning to look at me a few times.

- "what?"

- "you're nothing like I imagined"

- "what did you have in mind?"

- "some popular, bratty girl. Who's perfect and is in love with the other popular guy of the school"

- "I'm only "popular" because Jason got this obsession with me. I hate the attention. Wait... Perfect, huh?"

He only laughed. we got close to my house, passing in front of it.

- "that was my-"

- "shhh", he pushed my head down. "Jason's over there". I peaked from the window, a green shine could be visible through the windows of my house.

- "fucking loser", i Said getting down. "What's the plan?"

- "drive around until he gets tired"

- "I'm such a moron, they'll beat my ass tomorrow at school either way. I'm just making this worse and worse"

- "you can go to the police"

- "you think they'll help?"

- "good point"

- "stop"

- "what?"

- "stop!", I said pulling the break.

The van immediately stopped.

- "thanks for everything", I hugged him and got off the van. I jogged to my house.

- "hi mom", I said smiling, opening the door.

- "your friend is here!", She said excited.

- "hi...", I faked a smile.

He spent the rest of the afternoon there, my mom was delighted with how "polite" he was.

- "I guess I gotta go now, see you tomorrow, and nice to meet you", he said kissing my mom's hand. I walked with him to the door

- "your plan of beating me in front of my mom didn't work, huh? Who would've guess"

- "be careful, y/n. I just came here to actually earn your mom's heart so she could talk some sense into you"

- "go away", I pushed him and closed the door.

_

- "well look who decided to stop hiding from us, what do you say, dear? Last chance"

I threw my backpack to the floor and extended my arms.

- "as long as I don't die", I said defeated.

A few screams came from behind Jason.

The hellfire club beating the shit out of the basketball team.

I joined them and hit Jason right on the face. Eddie pulling me aside after that.

- "if you think of messing with y/n again", he got closer to him. "Oh, you better not mess with her again".

He put his arm around me, walking with me inside the school. I hugged him again.

- "thank you. Thanks to all of you. Jesus, I was scared, not gonna lie"

- "Eddie's friends are our friends", said a smiley guy wearing a cap. I shook their hands and introduced myself.

- "and if you want", said Eddie taking a hellfire shirt from his backpack, smiling.

- "are you kidding me?! This is so cool, i don't feel worthy", I joked.

- "let's go, new little demon", he nudged my arm.

_

- "why are you so kind with me?", I asked sitting at the table, only Eddie and me there, waiting for the rest of the guys.

- "kind? Why would I be mean to you?"

- "no, but... Nevermind", i said looking down.

- "i meant what I said"

- "what?"

- "that you're... Perfect", he said looking down. I smiled.

- "but I'm such a brat and... The worst... Popular", he laughed.

- "not anymore, gotta pull you down to my level to make this", he said grabbing my necklace and pulling me in for a kiss.

I had no idea how to kiss, so instead of ending up like a complete fool I pulled away, which didn't help either.

- "I'm sorry", he said quickly. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make you-"

- "no! No... I... Shit, I messed this up. I liked it! I like you", i said quickly, then regretting it.

- "oh... I... Well, it's pretty obvious by now but I like you too"

- "I don't know how to kiss", I whispered.

- "oh!", He said in surprise. "Want some lessons? Now I can tell you my address if you want", we laughed and the rest of the club joined the table.

- "actually I got your address yesterday. I asked max", I whispered in his ear and then winked and got up to go to my new class.

[pacifymebby]

Happy new year Layla:) Do you have any tips for self care? I've started this year feeling real low x

Happy new year to you too lovely, I'm sorry to hear you've started the year on such a low!! I feel like this time of year is always a sucker for that because you're surrounded by everyone making goals and "starting fresh" or like "clean" and there's a lot of pressure on everyone to be making good healthy changes for self improvement or to be happy and stuff. When actually like, this is the worst time of year to be making those kinds of changes, like its cold and dark all the time and u know, sometimes u just wanna sleep and chill and be easy on yourself? idk thats how I feel anyway

but I started the year feeling pretty low too and I haven't exactly pulled myself out of it yet either (especially now im ill I really have just stayed in bed every day since the new year began)

stuff I would recommend though

try and work out if something major is causing the low feelings, if its something solid and obvious then see if there's anything small u could do to make things slightly easier (for example a thing I was very very stressed about was my credit card bill and yesterday I paid it off so that it was one less thing to worry about) (another is my gas/electric bill and in a minute when im done typing this ill go and actually take my meter readings and send them in, because I've been horribly worried about them) I don't mean any of those things lightly either btw, those aren't small problems for me, they're huge looming mountains of stress that really can leave me bedridden with anxiety lol

if the problems more abstract or u can't really figure out what's making u feel shit then u know, maybe you are just tired? I find the end of the year very overwhelming, what with he highs of Christmas and new year, the social interaction the constant positivity and stuff, its exhausting and u may well just be very very worn out. so like, let urself acknowledge that u don't feel great, you're having a rough wee time of it lately and that u need a little time to chill out and reset.

my old recs used to be like, take a nice hot bath or something but now im like, cost of living crisis who can even afford a bath anymore amirite so

cook yourself ur favourite meal or treat yourself by going out for breakfast or lunch or something, I find it easier to go out for lunch or for a coffee on my own than I would out for dinner iygwim

reread a book you love

go for a little walk, just something small to get yourself out of the house, try and walk somewhere like a park and take your headphones off so that you can hear the birds and stuff!!

like idk how to explain it but sometimes taking your headphones off and listening to the world around you, other people, traffic, bird/ animal noises is really grounding and makes u feel part of something rather than cut off and alone

that being said sometimes having a cigarette and listening to ur favourite record is also the cure for all ailments so

call a friend, not even in a reaching out kind of way, just in a now might be a good time to catch up with a pal kind of way

clean your room/ a room in ur house, make it super cosy with blankets and candles and shit, then make yourself a brew and watch ur favourite comfort movie?

wash ur face, do a face mask, or a hair mask and comb your hair.

set yourself really small tasks for the day, things you have been putting off that will maybe only take five minutes to do, when you have done each thing cross it off your little list and then when u have finished the list 1) you will feel accomplished af 2) u can reward yourself however u see fit

sometimes I put music on really loud and sing along to it whilst im doing the dishes or cleaning the house and I feel really uplifted afterwards

run urself the hot bath bestie, it doesn't cost as much as we're all worried it will

go to the cinema by yourself? this one works for me sometimes? there's something really cleansing about stepping out into broad daylight after you've been in the cinema in the morning

go wander round some charity shops

sometimes u really do just need a few hours curled up under a blanket with a hot drink or a snack.

Also

if you're feeling low in a similar way to me (ed stuff idk) something im trying really hard to do is stay away from shit like Pinterest/ THAT side of Tumblr/ twitter. I'm trying to take each meal as it comes, reminding myself that u gotta eat when ur hungry (I have given myself so many little repeats of lectures b has given me in the past about eating lol)

I'm like, planning an activity for whilst I eat, like, I'll make porridge for breakfast then watch a shitty anime or cartoons the way I would have done when I was a kid. Or I'll make dinner and watch a movie with it. Something thats enough of a pleasant distraction.

Also I'm getting a lot of nutrition through soups and stuff, because they have always been easier for me to eat. Like not pushing myself too far or putting pressure on myself to be the perfect recoveree but also making sure I look after myself.

If thats not the kind of low you're feeling then just ignore all that, but I thought id leave it in just in case because I know a lot of my mutuals do get the same way I do sometimes.

The main thing is to remember to be forgiving of yourself. This isn't a forever feeling and eventually the depression will pass. Listen to All Things Must Pass by George Harrisson and know its the most truthful song in the world. this time of year is always tough but be gentle with yourself and know I am always here if u need to vent or want to talk!!!!! sending you love and good vibes bestie <3 xsxx

[goldenmaybank]

meant to be

(not my gif)

pairing: jj maybank x reader

summary: y/n has been in love with her best friend, jj maybank, for years and now has to watch him fall in love with another girl, who is a kook.

warnings: swearing and slight angst (?)

word count: 4k (it’s a long one) 

a/n: hi! this is my first imagine and i hope you like it. i know it’s a long one i just got carried away :)

2 years. 730 days. 17520 hours. 1051200 minutes.

that's how long i've had to watch the guy i'm in love with be with another girl. two long years of seeing them kiss, hold hands, cuddle, go on dates and anniversaries. all because i was too scared to tell my best friend that i loved him.

two years ago

" yo, y/n ! y/n ! guess what just happened." my best friend since we were kids, jj, said as he ran up to me.

"what?"

"you remember that girl, shay, that i was telling you about? that kook that i met at the kegger last weekend with the long blonde hair, green eyes, slim waist, and fat as-"

"yes, yes. jj i remember." i said cutting him off from finishing his sentence.

"so, i just asked her out and guess what? she said yes!" he said with the biggest smile on his face.

"okay."

"okay? that's all i get? an okay? y/n, this is the hottest kook i’ve ever seen that we're talking about here."

"yeah and last week kate was the hottest kook and the week before that was penelope. this is nothing new j. it's just another pretty girl with big boobs and a nice ass that you'll mess around with for a few weeks maybe even days and then move onto the next girl."

"no y/n, this time is different. it feels different."

"mhm sure" i say not convinced

this is what jj does. he meets a cute kook girl or touron at one our parties, they hook up for a few days or weeks, and he moves onto to the next one. this was no different. however, in that moment, i didn't realize how serious he really was about her until it was too late.

few months after

jj and i were laying on john b’s couch watching movies like we always do every friday night. we've been doing this since we were little kids, usually the rest of the pogues would join us, but they’re all busy tonight. john b is with sarah, kie is working, and pope is helping out his dad. so that just leaves me and jj together.

"um, y/n?"

"hm?" i asked in response

"would you mind if i ended our movie night a little bit early?"

"why?"

"because shay just got off work early tonight and wants to hang out. she's been really busy lately, so we haven't gotten the chance to hang out as much. would you be okay if i left to go see her?”

"um, sure. i guess i can just rewatch friday the 13th again without you."

"really? you're the best! thanks." he said jumping up excitedly to put on his shoes and grab his hoodie, " i mean it's not like we haven't watched this a thousand times already, you'll be fine without me."

"i kinda wanted you here, but i guess she's more important" i mumbled under my breath

"huh?"

"n-nothing. uh, j can i ask you something before you go?"

"yeah sure, but it can't take too long shay is waiting for me."

"are you serious about her? like really serious?"

"yeah, i guess i am. i don't know i've never really felt this way about a girl before. she just makes me feel so happy and i always want to be around her and spend time with her. i usually just get bored with girls after a while and break up with them, but it's different with her. it's something about her i can't explain it." he said with admiration in his eyes.

that's when i knew it was too late. i could see the way his eyes lit up when i mentioned her and how he talked about her with such admiration. he was head over heels for this girl and who am i to step in and ruin it by telling him my feelings. he wouldn't reciprocate those feelings anyways she's the only girl he's felt like this about. i never had a chance against her. i will never be her.

after that day i didn’t see jj for three weeks. he cancelled every single one our plans because of her. “i cant go surfing today, shay wants to go get lunch” “can’t go fishing, shay needs me” “cant make it to the boneyard tonight, shay wants to have a movie night” he bailed on us, on me, all week because of her. the kook girl he just met a few months ago. 

finally, after countless begging and excuses jj came to hang out with us at john b’s house. we were all laying on the hammocks outside watching the sunset and for a minute it felt like everything was how it used to be even though i knew it wasn't. you could feel that everything was different especially between me and jj. he wasn't his usual flirty, touchy self with me and the tension in the air was thick. the rest of the pogues tried to act like everything was normal, but we all knew after today it would be another few weeks before we saw jj again. all he did was hang out with shay and he barely had any time for us anymore.

“so, jj since when did you start dating kooks?” john b snickered as jj punched his arm

“since when did you start dating at all?” pope replied

“i don’t know, man. it’s just different with her, i guess. i never thought i could be capable enough to have a relationship, but she changed that. she changed me.” 

kie looks at me with sympathy in her eyes. she was the only one who knew about my love for jj. i spent so many nights crying to her about my feelings for him and how i wish things could be different between us. it took a lot to get jj to open up to me, especially about his dad, and i always wanted to be the one he could go to for anything. i was the one who patched him up after a fight with rafe, i was the one who hugged him as he cried to me about his dad, i was the one who went along with his crazy ideas, i was one who did everything i could to get him to love me the way i love him. but i guess things don’t work out the way you want them to. i give kie and a nod and smile letting her know i’m okay. as long as jj is happy that’s all that matters to me. i would do anything to make him happy, even if it means i have to watch him fall in love with another girl.

present 

6 years. 2190 days. 52560 hours. 3153600 minutes.

that's how long the love of my life has been with his girlfriend. six long years of me trying to get over him and find someone else yet i could never get that boy with blonde hair and blue eyes out of my mind. he followed me everywhere i went even when i wasn't with him. he's everything i want in a guy yet i can't have him because he's not mine to have. he's someone else's and now i definitely can't do anything about it because they're getting married today.

today is their wedding and of course they invited me and the rest of the pogues. i debated even going and just letting kie give them my present with my pathetic excuse for why i wasn't there, but after talking to jj about the wedding the other day i couldn’t not go. "i could never have my wedding without you there, y/n. you're one of the most important people in my life." is what he told me. if i was strong i wouldn't care and still not go, but i'm not. all i had to do was look in his eyes when he told me that and i was puddy in his hands. there's no way i can't go and let him down like that. he means way too much to me to hurt him just to spare my own feelings. 

i walked into the venue looking around at the setup. of course the kook princess wanted a fairy-tale wedding. i sigh as i look at all the expensive decorations everywhere. i always imagined what my wedding with jj would be like. definitely wouldn’t look anything like this. even after years of all my hard work and schooling i still could never afford something like this. i always thought we’d have our ceremony by the beach since that’s where we first met when we were little kids and spent all our time together. it became our little safe space to get away from everyone and all our problems, and just be together. just me and jj. 

“gotta admit it looks beautiful.” pope says as kie hits his shoulder

“it’s okay, kie. he’s right, it is beautiful. more than i could've ever given him.”

“hey” kie says as she grabs my hand, “you sure you’re okay? because we can leave right now. trust me, i really don’t care to see the little princess wearing a dress that costs ten times the amount of my house.”

“it’s fine, kie. we have to be here for him. i’m just gonna go talk to jj quickly.”

“okay, i’ll save a seat for you.”

i went towards the back to find where jj is, so i could give him something before the ceremony started.

"knock knock." i say as i opened the door to jj’s room walking in to see him finishing getting ready.

"hey you. i almost thought you weren't gonna come."

"now why would i miss my best friend getting married to the girl of his dreams? i would never miss this no matter what"

"good because i know i would never be able to do this without you here."

"so.." i say as i sit down next to him, "how does it feel to finally be getting married?”

"it feels unreal. i never thought this day would come. and if it did, i honestly thought you would be the one standing at the end of the aisle"

"yeah, so did i" i say as i laugh weakly.

"i remember we had this whole thing planned out as kids. we were gonna get married on the beach, preferably the bahamas, but you know any beach would’ve worked for us. 

"and we were gonna have this huge reception and have our friends give sappy speeches talking about how we've been friends forever and despite the “no pogue on pogue macking” rule we still ended up together and got married." i added.

"and our honeymoon was gonna be in mykonos. we were gonna get a suite with a pool and relax all day and then turn up at night at the clubs there." he said as we both laughed.

"wow. we had a lot of plans when we were younger."

"we really did, but i guess none of them really worked out huh?"

"i guess not"

we sat in silence for a moment thoughts both roaming our minds about how we ended up here. best friends since we were little, spent all our time together, always acted like a couple, and yet here we are sitting in this room minutes before he gets married to a girl who isn't me, a kook nonetheless. it's now or never. do i let him know how i feel and finally have this weight lifted off my shoulders or just keep it to myself and let them be happy?

"uh, j? i- um, wrote this letter for you" i say as i take an envelope out of my purse, "it was the original speech that i wanted to tell you at the reception later but felt as though it wouldn't have been right to say, so i just wrote it for you to see. just, don't open it in front of shay, please."

"why can't you just tell me what's in the letter in your speech later?"

"because i would be a shit person if i say what's in that letter at your wedding reception in front of everyone."

"what's in the letter that's so bad?" he asked confusingly

"j-just read it when you're alone, okay?"

"no"

"no?"

"no. just tell me now what's in the letter."

"jj, i-i can't."

"yes you can. what's so bad that you can't tell me now?"

"i don't want to overstep my boundaries or ruin anything or make anything awkward, so just read it later when you're alone."

"no, y/n. tell me right now."

"jj, your wedding starts in a few minutes you need to finish getting ready. we don't have time for this."

"yes we do. i always have time for you."

"jj-"

"no. i'm not leaving this room until you tell me."

"j, don't be difficult."

"i'm not being difficult just read me the letter and this will all be done with"

i sighed, "oh my god fine. i'll read you the damn thing." i take a deep breath and begin to read the letter that might just change everything between us.

"dear jj, i'm not sure when exactly you'll be reading this, but i know when you do you'll be happily married to shay. so, congratulations best friend you're finally someone's husband. i honestly never thought this day would come; you were never one for relationships. always thought it was too much work to handle and you already had enough shit to deal with in your life. remember when we were little we made a promise that if neither of us were in a relationship by the time we were 30 we would get married. as silly as it was i always thought that would happen. that we would be the ones getting married and have our best friends write a speech for us. i'd always imagine kie writing mine and john b and pope would write yours, mainly pope though because we all know he’s way better with words than any of us ever were. but i never once in a million years would think i would be writing one for you and another girl. we've been through so many ups and downs and we still stuck together through it all. you're my best friend and i love you. words can't even describe how much i love you. jj, you've brought me so much happiness and never fail to put a smile on my face. even during my worst times you were always there to pick up the pieces and make me laugh. i never thought i would have someone in my life who means so much to me as much as you do. being around you immediately makes my day a hundred times better and i don't know what i would do without you in my life. my life would've probably been extremely boring and plain without you and your crazy adventures. your smile can make anyone's day better and you always make sure everyone else is happy even before yourself. and that's one of the many reasons why i'm in love with you. yes, i'm in love with you and have been for a while. this is more than a just as friends thing. i'm completely and utterly in love with you and that's never gonna change. and i know it took you a while to believe that someone could truly love and care for you, but i always have and always will. you so deserve so much than life has given you and i hope you know how amazing you really are. i’ve become such a better person because of you and you make me so incredibly happy. i'll never be able to repay you for everything you've done for me. i love you so much. i hope you're happy in your marriage and she treats you right, which i know she does. all i ever wanted was for you to be happy even if it wasn't with me. even though i just dropped this huge bomb on you, please don't let this affect our friendship. i will always be here for you no matter what. i love you, jj maybank."

there was complete silence. jj just sat there staring at the wall not saying a word.

"see this is exactly why i didn't want to tell you in person because i knew this would happen. i-"

"you love me?"

"yes, j i do."

"like actually love me?"

i sighed, "yes and i have for a while as i said in the letter"

"w-why didn't you tell me?"

"i don't know i was always so scared to and i thought you would never really find someone, so i had nothing to lose by not telling you. and then you started dating shay and i could tell you were really happy with her and by the time i realized you two were serious it was too late. i didn't want to step in and ruin anything or lose our friendship."

"you wouldn't have."

"what?"

"you wouldn't have ruined our friendship because i felt the same way. i still feel the same way." jj admitted

"you, what?"

"i love you y/n and as more than just friends. i have since freshmen year of high school when i first told you about my dad and you cleaned up all my cuts and held me in your arms all night. but i was just always too scared to say anything because i thought you were out of my league and i never really deserved you. the only reason i was with all those girls was to forget about you and get rid of my feelings for you, but they never did go away."

"i guess we're both stupid then. we always had these feelings for each other and just never said it."

"i guess so."

"so, what does this mean for us?"

"what do you mean?" jj asked

"i mean this obviously changes things, so what are we gonna do?"

"i don't see why things have to change. yeah we admitted we have these feelings, but that doesn't change anything."

"you're getting married, jj. in like twenty minutes there's gonna be another girl waiting at the end of that aisle for you to go there and give yourself completely to her. and i don't want to stand in the way of giving you and her that happiness you both deserve. me still being here is gonna change things because things are different now whether you want to believe it or not. these feelings are out there and they're still relevant. and i'm not gonna sit here and watch you two be happy and in love and be on the sidelines and feel like shit. i don't deserve that. i don't deserve to have my heart broken seeing you together knowing you have feelings for me and yet i can't do a damn thing about it. and it's not fair to her either to have another woman who you have feelings for sit there and get in the way of her happiness. i'm not gonna ruin this for her, jj. i won't. shay has been nothing but sweet to me and i'm not gonna do that to her. she doesn't deserve it and neither do i."

"so what do you want me to do then?"

"i want you to let me go."

"what? y/n, i love you. you can't tell me to do that"

"let me go, jj. as long as you sit here and tell me that you love me and have feelings for me, this will never end. and we will be going around in circles and i've been stepping on eggshells long enough for you and i'm done. you love her and she loves you, so be happy with her."

"but i love you too y/n and that's never gonna stop." he says with tears in his eyes.

"i know and i will always love you too, but i can't keep doing this. i can't watch you be with her and not be able to do anything. i can't be able to be alone with you knowing how you feel and not do anything to you. you don't know how badly i've just been wanting to kiss you after hearing you say those words to me. you don't know how bad i want this, but jj i can't do this" i say tears running down my face.

"i'll end it then. i'll cancel the wedding and we can be together."

"no. no, jj you can't do that. i'm not gonna ruin this. you've been with her for six years already, you've created this beautiful relationship and commitment to each other and i'm not just gonna ruin that. she's doesn't deserve that. you just need to let me go, jj. let me get over you because the more i'm around you the more the feelings grow. just let me find happiness within someone else.”

"so what? we're just gonna end our friendship? our years and years of friendship is over just like that? i don't want to lose you. if i cant have you in that way, even though i want to so badly, i still want you in my life as a friend."

"but i can't jj. i can't be around you. please, just let me go. let me get over you and find someone else. maybe one day if it's meant to be we'll find our way back to each other and maybe things can work out differently but for now just let me go." i say as my voice breaks

he sighed, "fine, i'll let you go, but only if you do one thing for me."

"what is it?"

"kiss me."

"w-what?"

"kiss me. i've been waiting years to tell you how i feel about you and finally be able to hold you and kiss you, so please just let me do it."

"jj, i don't know" i say hesitantly

"shay never has to know about this and once we kiss it's over. i'll let you go."

"if i kiss you, you'll let me go?"

"yes."

i sighed looking at jj. i actually got a good look of him right now in this moment. he looks so broken. dried tears streamed down his face, his eyes are puffy, and nose is red, but yet he still looks beautiful. no words can describe how jj looks. "cute" or "hot" never did this man justice. he was beautiful both inside and out and that's why i fell in love with him years ago. and as i started to lean it looking in his eyes all the memories we've made together came flashing through my mind all at once. this is really it. after this i'm actually leaving my best friend, who's the love of my life, to move on with my life.

moments later i felt his soft pink lips mold against mine. our lips moved in sync in such a way i have never felt with anyone else before. there was something about the way his lips moved against mine in such a passionate and loving way that i've never felt before. my stomach was immediately filled with butterflies and my mind went blank. all i could do was be in this moment with him. a few moments later it ended leaving both of us breathless. we stared at each other in awe not knowing a simple goodbye kiss would make us feel this way.

"wow. i've been waiting for this kiss for so long and i never knew it would feel like that." jj said

"neither did i.”

as much as i didn't want to, i knew what had to be done next. i stood up grabbing my bag and walked towards the door.

"so this is really it? you're just leaving now. after what we just felt in that kiss you're still gonna leave?" jj asked

"you know i have to."

"no, you don't have to. you want to, there's a difference. but it’s fine you’re just gonna leave just everyone else does, huh?”

don't turn back now. i know what he’s trying to do. he knows how the last thing i ever wanted to do was leave him like countless of other people in his life have done. but don’t let his words get to you. don't turn back now. the decision is already made. if i go back now i'll never leave and end up in the same cycle again.

i turn around one last time to look at my best friend, "i'm sorry. goodbye, jj."

that was the last time i saw jj.

after that i left the venue without saying anything to anyone. i got a ton of calls from kie, pope, and john b asking me where i was. i know they all eventually found out how i felt about him, which sometimes makes me wonder how he never knew, but then again i'm pretty sure they knew he had feelings for me too and i still never noticed. it's crazy how that happens. you could spend every moment of every day with someone and still be so oblivious to how they really feel about you. i guess i was just so caught up in my feelings for him i never noticed all the signs he showed of liking me back.

they always say what’s meant to be will be no matter how long it takes whether it's a day, a month, or a year. well i never really believed in that until now. years later after i walked out of that room, now stood face to face with the guy who was and still is my everything.

[hannie-dul-set]

saturday came rolling by quicker than you'd expected.

standing near the entrance of the rather expensive restaurant (you swore that even the plants by the door are worth more than everything you were wearing combined) you opened your phone, double checking to make sure you were at the right place that jaehyun's mother messaged you.

admittedly, it was a bit weird that you were hanging our with your new friend's mother whithout the knowledge of that said friend, but even if you wanted to back out, you couldn't because it would be rude to do so.

you returned your phone back into your white sling bag after confirming that this was indeed the place and made your way into the entrance, the restaurant's guard opening the door for you.

the moment you stepped in, you started to feel a bit self conscious. you were only wearing a simple navy blue wrap dress underneath a cream cardigan and a pair of sandals to match— deeming you absolutely out of place inside the fancy interior of the establishment.

to the eyes of the occupants of the restaurant, you probably looked like a lost puppy considering your attire and the fact that you had no idea where the hell mrs. jung was.

"miss, can i help you?"

your search was interrupted by one of the waiters, you assumed.

"oh, um, i'm looking for mrs. jung..?"

were you supposed to say that? at that point you didn't even care— you just wanted this whole lunch thing over and done with.

"ah, then you must be y/n l/n, correct?" you were slightly confused, but you nodded anyway.

"follow me, miss."

and so you did, carefully treading along the restaurant floor. you were afraid if you even breathe in the wrong direction, you'd end up breaking one of the many expensive decorations littered all around the place.

the waiter lead you to a secluded part of the restaurant. sunlight was beaming into the large arch windows that were adorning the walls and there were only three tables set up, all of which were unoccupied save for the one at the very end.

as you moved further inside, the two people that were sitting at the last table had noticed you and the waiter walking in. their heads turned towards your direction and you stopped in your tracks.

one of them was mrs. jung, obviously, but the other one you weren't quite expecting.

"miss y/n?"

"jaehyun?"

amidst your shock, the waiter had already left, leaving the three of you alone. your eyes were frozen stuck on jaehyun dozens of question marks floating around his head.

you were confused, but then you remembered that this was her son, of course he'd be here. but couldn't she at least have told you?

"y/n, dear, it's good that you've finally joined us! i was worried that you wouldn't come."

jaehyun was the first to snap back into reality. he diverted his attention from you to his mother.

"mother," you couldn't pinpoint the exact emotion he was carrying in his voice. "care to explain why miss y/n is here?"

"i invited her, of course," mrs. jung seemed to be completely unbothered by not so pleasant demeanor that her son was baring.

"sorry, i can just leave if you'd like," the atmosphere was unbearably uncomfortable and you'd much rather just leave if you could. you gave them a small bow before turning your heels, hand clutching your bag as you were about to leave.

"no, it's alright—" the screeching of a chair was heard and you felt a hand grab onto your arm, preventing you from moving forward. you turned around and you were met with a rather frantic looking jaehyun. "you can stay."

eyes wide from the sudden close proximity, your gaze moved back and forth from jaehyun's very very close face to his hand that was holding onto you— you could feel the heat slowly rising to your cheeks.

jaehyun must've noticed the situation that you two were in and he let go of you hurriedly, a coughing out a small sorry in the process. from the corner of your eye you could see his mother looking at the both of you with an amusement in her face. mostly because of his son's absolutely uncharacteristic behavior but you weren't aware of that.

"i apologize if my words sounded rude," jaehyun started, finally managing to get himself back together. "it wasn't my intention to send you away— i was just surprised to see you again."

"no it's okay," you gave him a smile of assurance and he visibly relaxed.

you nearly forgot that his mother was actually here (not to mention she was the one who invited you) until you heard her speak up.

"maybe i'm the one who should be leaving?" she teased, jaehyun giving her a disapproving look.

"you're staying. i believe you still have some explaining to do, mother."

much to your surprise, lunch went a lot better that you'd expected, especially taking into account the prior events that took place. mrs. jung eventually told jaehyun everything— the fact that she contacted you last time as well as her reasonings. jaehyun wasn't really upset that his mother was trying to set you two up, he was absolutely flustered to the highest point— cheeks flaring and avoiding eye contact from you as much as possible, you couldn't help but laugh at him, furthering his embarrassment.

"i apologize for my mother's behavior," he tells you (although, his eyes were looking everywhere else except for you).

the evident unease that was present earlier was replaced with comfortable air to which you were surprised, but nevertheless you were thankful. the conversation went on until the topic eventually landed on you.

"y/n," jaehyun's mom started, taking a sip from her peach-colored drink before continuing. "i realized i never got to ask your age."

"ah, i'm turning twenty-one this year," you replied, earning a hum from the older woman.

jaehyun places down his fork, diverting his attention towards you instead. "you must be in school then. do you mind me asking what your major is?"

"oh, no i'm not, actually,"

you continued to eat your food (you asked jaehyun what it was called but it your ears failed to understand the rich language) while the two of your companions promptly stopped, expecting you to continue. the sudden attention directed on you was a bit discomforting, so you placed your utensils down and wiped your lips with the napkin available.

"i can't really afford college so i'm still trying to save."

"what about your parents?" jaehyun asked, concern lacing his voice. "shouldn't they be the one's supporting you?"

"they sort of abandoned me after i graduated high school," you reply, staring at the untouched drink in front of you. "so i had to do things on my own from there."

you didn't really have a problem talking about your situation— you'd always been one to believe that all things happen for a reason, so you don't hold anything against your parents. you were never one to dwell on things; you'd rather choose to just keep on moving forward no matter how many setbacks you encounter. but of course, even though you had moved, emotions from the past sometimes resurface.

"i'm so sorry to hear that, sweetie," mrs. jung tried to sympathize with you. "i hope you're not too uncomfortable talking about this."

"no, it's okay, i've moved on," you pressed your lips together into a smile. "and although i'm not exactly in the best place financially, i'm pretty happy with my life right now. the experiences i've gathered and all of the wonderful people i've met— i'm very thankful for all of that."

after your mini speech, you looked over to jaehyun, who was looking at you with an expression that you weren't able to pinpoint.

"you really are an amazing person, miss y/n."

the words that left jaehyun's lips left you stunned, unable to think of a response. he might've said this to you through chat but this time he was looking at you— looking at you so so intently that you lost your entire train of thought.

"oh— um, thanks," you managed to sputter out before going back to your food.

"you know, dear, i'd be more than willing to help you with your financial situation right now," jaehyun's mother says and you politely decline.

"no, no, it's okay! i've saved up quite a bit already, and on top of my many part time jobs, my art has been doing pretty well recently," you explain. "i don't think it would be right for me to take money from you."

mrs. jung thinks momentarily before speaking up. "art? are you an artist, y/n?"

"i remember her mentioning it to me at one point," jaehyun joins in the conversation.

"well... i'm not exactly well known but i do a bit of freelance work here and there," you meekly mumbled. "i also do commissions."

until now, you couldn't tell what exactly was going on in jaehyun's head, but mrs. jung seems to be elated from your words.

"that sounds wonderful, dear!" jaehyun's mother beamed. "if you aren't too busy, i'd like to commission you, as well."

"really?"

you perked up from hearing her suggestion. you still had a few paintings lined up to be finished, but you'd be a fool to pass up on this opportunity.

"i still have some things to work on," you began. "but if you could wait until those are finished, then i see no problem!"

"there's no rush, dear! work on it as you see fit— we can discuss the details privately in a later time."

"alright, thank you so much, mrs. jung! i'll be sure not to disappoint you."

the day went on and the lunch you spent with the two jung's was over. after bidding then goodbye and thanking them for the nice meal, jaehyun had insistently offered to drive you home, but you politely declined, saying that you can just take the bus instead.

sitting on one of the benches at the bus stop, you pulled out your ear buds, deciding to listen to music as you waited. today wasn't as bad as you expected. jungwoo and haechan were wrong about mrs. jung— she may be a bit excessive and a bit too evasive regarding her son's affairs, she seemed like a genuine and sweet lady, none the less.

amidst your thoughts, you felt someone sitting beside you so you instinctively scooted away. you heard a cough from the said person, so you looked over to them. surprised, you pulled your ear buds away.

"jaehyun?"

"miss y/n," he looked at you. "i would like to formally apologize for my mother's behavior— she tends to cross boundaries without meaning to, i hope you don't take anything against her."

to be honest, you never expected jaehyun to run after you. it appears that the tables have turned seeing that he looks extremely out of place in his expensive looking coat inside the vicinity of the run-down bus stop. jaehyun still looked a bit embarrassed talking about it seeing that his face was painted a light dust of pink, causing a mirthful laugh to bubble in your throat.

"it's okay," you smiled at him in assurance. "i was definitely caught off guard, but i can see that your mother doesn't have any ill intentions."

jaehyun let out a sigh, visibly easing up upon your response.

"thank you for understanding," he gave a you smile and you were taken aback— jung jaehyun smiled at you for the first time that day and holy shit he has dimples.

before you can conjure up a response, the bus came into view and you stood up in haste, moving closer into the street. as the vehicle neared, you looked behind to see that jaehyun was now on his feet but he was yet to leave. the both of you made eye contact and you grinned at him.

"i'll be going now, jaehyun. thank you for today!"

his expression mirrored yours, hands snugly tucked into the pockets of his coat.

"likewise, miss y/n."

you curtly nodded before finally entering the bus. as you sat down, you looked outside the window only to see jaehyun still in the same position as before but he had his phone in his hand, fingers tapping away at the screen. he noticed you looking at him, giving you a small wave before walking away.

your phone buzzed from inside your back and you quickly took it out. a laugh escaped your lips and a wide smile blossomed into your face.

gold painted canvas

the classic rich boy and poor girl love story but with less prejudice and more happiness

13 // safe ride home

a/n: written part!! :D pls enjoy hehet <3

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