#especially as of late with how much i've been rereading their manga

[vamqiredove]

i wish sibling days were a big thing like mothers/fathers day :/ i want an excuse to give my brother cool gifts outside of his birthday and christmas

[strawwritesfic]

Enma Kozato x Female!Vongola!Reader: Coda

Summary: Can we try again?

Rating/Warnings: T (post-Inheritance Ceremony arc; Friends to Lovers; Enemies to Lovers; Love Confessions; Face Slapping; Slapping; Delivery Person!Reader; Adelheid & Enma; Adelheid/Julie)

Tag List: @imaginesfire

Notes: I've been in a Reborn mood lately, reviving some old OCs of mine with a friend via email. I'm even rereading what little of the official English translation manga there is. So I thought I'd brush off some of my old one shots for the series and post them, especially since I've had such kind feedback on the ones I've got on my Tumblr.

This was written back when I was in college, so probably circa 2011/2012. I did polish it up for this repost! Although there's really no helping the abrupt ending. I suppose I could have tacked something on, but the style would be so obviously different that it would really only make the original ending seem even more painful.

The reader character is based on (and originally written as) an OC in a roleplay group that I was in on DeviantArt at the time. I no longer recall the username, but credit where credit is due, so much as I can give it. The character's name was LaRae Souma.

Coda

Enma’s heart had never beat so wildly in his chest. Ba-thump, ba-thump, ba-thump. In the silence of the growing evening surrounding him, the noise felt abnormally loud. He lifted a trembling hand to his chest and pressed it against his rib cage.

“Why are you doing this?” he mumbled.

His heart, of course, gave no answer. Or maybe it did. Maybe its attempts to tear itself free from his insides were its way of telling him how downright crazy this entire plan was. Whatever the reason, Enma really wished his traitorous organ would stop. This whole situation was hard enough without adrenaline rushing through his veins.

Trying to calm down was a vain effort. Enma knew that. He’d been trying to do whatever that would take since school got out hours ago. How many girls had passed by, giggling because of how weird he looked standing at the gate? How many bullies had come by to exact their “standing” tax?

Maybe that was why his heart was still going crazy. Maybe he was finally running out of blood, and this was its last, desperate attempt to get what was left to the rest of his body before it gave out. Enma supposed that wouldn’t be too bad, really. At least if he was dead he wouldn’t be picked on anymore. He wouldn’t fail any more tests, either. And, for the love of God, he would not have to do what he was planning to do next.

The bag at his side buzzed. His head turned toward it. He blinked before slowly plucking his cell phone from the bag's pocket. Who would be calling him now? It was nearly dark, and the Vongola had no reason to contact him.

“Hello?” he said.

“Enma. Are you all right? It’s late.”

Oh. It was only Adelheid, then. He probably should have known, but Aoba had stolen his phone and changed all the contacts to pictures of himself flipping the camera off, so now Enma had no way to tell who anyone calling him actually was.

“She hasn’t been by.” He stared down the street again. Still no shadows appeared to be growing against the bright red sky. “Maybe she’s not coming.”

“It’s nearly dark. I would say she’s not.”

“She could be working overtime.”

“Enma, just come home. We’ll order more food, and you can talk to her then.”

“I don’t want to say it front of Julie.”

“He’s not going to say anything. If he does, I’ll hit him.”

"I'll wait a little longer.”

“Okay.” This time, her voice sounded a little warmer. “Call me when you’re on your way home.”

“Yeah. Bye.”

“Goodbye.”

He ended the conversation with a simple push of a button. Why hadn’t he taken the out Adelheid offered him? This was her idea to begin with, and Enma was seriously beginning to doubt her understanding of the matter. Her relationship wasn’t really comparable to his. All Julie had to do was grope her every once in a while.

Oh, God, was he going to have to grab your breasts? Did you even have those? It had been so long since he'd seen you that he didn’t remember. And Adelheid usually still slapped Julie when he did that. Enma didn’t really feel like being slapped. 

Was this what hyperventilating felt like? He had never done it before, so he didn’t know.

A rapid tapping came from down the vacant street. Enma looked up. Running down the shadowed walk was a figure moving at a quick pace. He stood straighter. Was it you? It had to be. His hands had started to sweat again. This did not make him feel any less like an idiot. He wiped them on his pants. That only made it worse; now he had wet patches on his legs.

The figure continued to draw nearer. The golden pool of light surrounding him was soon the one they stepped into, bringing their features were placed in high relief. [Color] hair, [color] eyes, waitress uniform. Yes, that was definitely [F Name] [L Name]. It didn’t take the painful lurch in his heart to tell him that much.

The moment of recognition must have been shared because you froze mid-step, one leg stuck awkwardly in the air. Enma reached up to ruffle the back of his head. Now he was completely lost. What was he supposed to do? You were just staring at him like he was a particularly disgusting bug that had fallen directly in your path.

Then your expression hardened. Your normally warm eyes he grown so accustomed to turned more brittle as you smacked your heel back down against the pavement. For a split second, he thought you were going to say something. Instead, you started moving again, your movements now choppy and stiff.

“[Name],” he said as you passed. 

You didn’t even spare him a second glance. 

“[Name]!” 

You did not even so much as twitch in his direction. 

Enma sighed. Now what was he supposed to do? Adelheid hadn’t described her plan past his finally making contact with you. Still, he was not the same boy you had known a year ago. Steeling himself, he moved off the wall and into step beside you. It was only be the grace of God that he didn’t fall flat on his face doing so.

"[Name].”

"What?” He had never heard you speak with that much venom in your voice before, at least not directed at him. He gulped. Maybe this was a dumb idea.

"I need to talk to you.”

“I’m in the middle of a delivery.”

“I know. It's for me.”

Thankfully, this was enough to get your attention. Once again, you stopped completely, though at least this time you remembered to put you foot down. Your mouth fell open in an “o.” Then you narrowed your eyes.

“What do you mean, it’s for you?” you asked.

“I ordered it. Can I have it, please?”

“No! I’m not giving you anything!”

“I’m going to pay for it.”

You continued to watch him for a few more seconds, then tossed the container at his head. Enma flailed. The box knocked straight into his temple before falling open on the ground. 

“Fine, then!" you snapped. "Eat it! See if I care!”

“Thank you,” Enma murmured. 

He bent down to retrieve the contents of whatever food he had asked for. He was so nervous that he didn’t remember, nor did he think he’d actually be able to stomach it if he tried. If he remembered correctly, most girls didn’t think it was cool when boys threw up their food. Once he had the scattered contents all gathered, he rummaged in his pocket until he found the wad of cash he had stuffed in it that morning–more than enough for both his food and a decent tip for you. 

“Your money." He held it out to you.

You said nothing as you snatched the cash out of his hand. And then you stood there. And continued standing there. Apparently you were intending to watch him eat the food. 

Groaning inwardly, Enma picked up the chopsticks and dug in without looking at what he was digging into. It was probably good, but he didn’t get to taste much before he started to choke. Seemingly satisfied with this development, you hopped on the wall and crossed your legs, the better to see him.

“Why’d you order from there anyway? Thought I didn’t work there anymore?” you asked.

“N-No,” Enma stammered. He was still coughing up bits of rice. “I needed to talk to you.”

“So you ordered food from my workplace?”

“It was the only way I could talk to you. You were avoiding me.”

“Because I didn’t want to talk to you.”

“Right.” 

Enma gazed forlornly at his eating utensils. Why had he done this? Of course you didn’t want to talk to him. After what he did…The look of betrayal on your face as you stood there with the rest of your family, the way your eyes seemed to grow dim as you watched him mutilate your friends…His gut clenched every time he thought of it. Who was he kidding with this? You weren't going to want to hear him out. You didn’t even want to be his friend anymore.

He took a deep breath and looked up toward you. It looked like he was still Loser Enma after all. What he realized, however, was that you were no longer looking away. Instead you had the full force of your glare on him. He flinched.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you asked.

There could be a million things he hadn’t told you that you were asking about, each a worse secret than the one before. But Enma thought he had a pretty good idea what you were talking about. 

“I didn’t want you to get hurt,” he said.

“And why would I get hurt?”

He licked his lips. “My family…what we were doing…”

“Yeah, it was pretty stupid,” you snarled. “And thank you so much for showing such faith in me.”

“I didn’t want you to tell Tsuna. It was important. What if you said something and they found out?

You snapped straight up. Enma stumbled backward, managing to stay on his feet but spill what was left of his meal. This did nothing to stop you. In one easy movement, you jumped off the ledge, landed on your feet, and marched up to him. For a moment, all you did was look into his eyes. Then you launched yourself forward and started trying to smack every bit of him you could reach.

“Are you kidding me?" You all but shrieked. "I thought you trusted me! I thought I was your friend!”

“Ouch. [Name]. Stop." 

Your punches, if anything, merely increased in number. Enma groaned. What would Aoba and Julie say if they saw him now? Probably something along the lines of “You’re totally whipped!” Without thinking, he grabbed your wrists. You sucked in a breath. He supposed he had surprised you. The him of a year ago wouldn’t have tried to defend himself at all. One split second later, however, and you were back on the offense.

“You.” You tugged. “Are.” You tugged harder still. “Such a jerk, Enma Kozato!” You arched backward as far as you could. Still he did not let you go.

“I know," he said. "I’m sorry.”

“Sorry isn’t good enough! I don’t care what you have to say to me. Just go away!”

Enma took a deep breath. Now was good as ever. He didn’t think you were going to let him stick around much longer anyway. “I think I love you.”

The anger drained slowly from your face. Feeling that it might be safe to let you go, Enma released your wrists at last. He stuffed his now-free hands into his pockets and stared at his feet. The silence stretched on for several more minutes, and then there was a sudden whoosh and the sound of flesh meeting flesh.

Enma’s eyes went wide. The sound of the slap echoed in the empty road.

“That’s for avoiding me for a year!” When he looked up, you were rubbing at your wrist and scowling. “Did you think I was going to yell at you?”

“Well, you’re doing a good job of it now,” he said as he pressed his palm against his stinging cheek.

“Because, Enma, you are an idiot.” You scowled at him again, then whirled on your heel and marched over to your delivery box. Without looking at him, you continued, but he noticed your voice was quavering a bit when you spoke: “If you’re just going to say empty words, then you can leave me alone. For good this time.”

“They weren't empty.” he mumbled at the ground. Enma thought that maybe he heard you pause before going on your way. “I won’t bother you anymore.”

Before you could answer–if you were going to answer, which he didn’t believe could be true at all–he started shuffling away. He didn’t get far before he managed to trip and crash face-first into the sidewalk. A sickening crunch sound coming from his nose told Enma that he had just seriously screwed up. Perhaps it would be best if he just stayed there in the dirt until you left. He didn’t want the last thing you saw of him to be the blood spilling profusely from his face.

“Enma? Are you okay?” 

Oh, crud, you were standing right above him. He craned his neck so he could see, trying to make sure you couldn’t get a look at the newest disfigurement on his face. You knelt down next to him and then dragged him to his feet.

“You’re bleeding.”

“Yeah. Don’t worry about it.”

You frowned. “No, I will worry about it. Sit down.” 

You pushed down on his shoulder and Enma obeyed without thinking. What were you doing? Why were you still talking to him? Hadn’t you already left, glad to have him out of your life? While he was pondering all of this, you were digging around in your own bag. A few moments later, you pulled out a first aid kit. 

Enma leaned back. “You don’t have t–”

“Yes, I do.” 

Enma fell silent as you began to work on him. It almost felt like old times, except for the part where the girl he was in love with hated him. He could probably do without that. Well, that and the broken nose.

“Hold still. I’m going to set it. It’ll hurt.” 

He braced himself. Sure enough, you pressed your fingers onto both side of his nose and pushed. There was a loud pop and pain streamed into his face. Enma lifted his hand to feel his nose.

“Why did you…?”

“Did you mean it when you said you loved me?” you asked.

“Y-yes.” Did you find him terribly stupid? Were you going to laugh at him? 

You turned, face hidden as you placed your kit back in your bag. “Then why didn’t you talk to me for so long?”

“I was afraid you hated me. I didn’t want that.”

“I didn’t. I just wanted to hear from you. When I called and you didn’t answer…” You trailed off. He could see your eyes again. They were filling with tears. “I thought we were friends.”

“You’re my best friend, [Nickname].”

"It doesn’t feel like it.”

Enma stared at you. You looked away and dabbed at your eyes with your sleeve. “I’m sorry.” 

You didn’t answer. 

His eyes darted about the street. What he was about to do was risky, but maybe it would work out? Maybe this time he could actually do it. Maybe this time he wouldn’t be a loser. “[Name].”

You looked back. He shifted his bag so it was behind him, then opened his arms. You gawked at him, and he lifted them slightly. For a few more seconds, you did not move. Another flurry of anxiety rushed through him. Was he being dumb? Should he put his arms down? Were you just going to hit him again?

You blinked back another set of tears. Then you leaped forward and threw yourself into his arms. Enma closed them around you, shut his eyes, and buried his face into your soft hair.

“I love you, [Name]. Can I try again?”

“Only if you promise,” you sniffed, “to never lie to me again.”

Enma smiled. “I promise.”

In return, you wrapped your arms around him. “I love you, too, Enma.”

[flockofdoves]

for years and years and years despite hunter x hunter being one of my favorite animanga of all time id only read like the first couple chapters of the post anime manga. but last week i finally finished the casual reread i'd been doing over the past 4 years (had a good pace earlier this year reading a chapter between productive stuff but then got to gon confronting pitou and kept crying too much to just casually do that for a while lol)

and now i've been reading the succession contest arc!!!!

i cant believe i never got around to it til now.

i definitely picked up a lot through people talking about it around me throughout the years but there still was so so much i didnt know about.

hunter x hunter was so formative to me starting when i was just like 14 and it really influenced my tastes and perspective when engaging with stories from then on

so especially right after doing a recent reread (and rewatch with my brother) through so many parts that are just Ingrained in my brain at this point with how foundational they are to me its so crazy

like. what do you mean the story immediately continues right after that and immediately builds on so many of the concepts and themes and plot threads that have long since calcified in my mind as foundational and unchanging things i reflect back on while engaging with other stories. but its the same story!!!! and i could have been enjoying all that i’ve read so far (up to 386) since my late teens if i’d just made the time and picked it up on some random day!

in my recent rereads/rewatches ive reflected on how while i still really really love hunter x hunter, there’s definitely some parts that in revisiting as an adult with more experience i’ve outgrown a bit. but its crazy reading this arc because a lot of that it turns out the story actually grew with me. the ending of the anime makes sense as a sort of stopping point but its so so delicious to just keep going from there leaving gon like that and having a very obvious parallel with kurapika’s path. what a choice! also there are just so many intriguing women. really hxh at its best i dont think its just the novelty talking thats making me feel like this is my favorite arc. wow.

and apparently great timing!!! in the middle of writing this post i just remembered to check when hxh is coming off hiatus and its only in a couple weeks!

[lastquincy]

thank you for the tag nini 💚 under the cut!

(questions bolded, answers italicized)

last song i heard:

worst is on it's way by korn, HEALTH, danny brown and meechy darko! my friend showed me a song by HEALTH earlier and before this i had no idea they existed, so i went through their discography and found this collab and immediately fell in love. i love you rap and rock you belong together

favorite color:

it varies but one of these is usually good

last watched series:

i don't really watch series, or at least i haven't lately, but i did watch lars and the real girl for the first time a few days ago! i can confidently say that is one of the most terrifying ways i have ever related to a movie, and it is both exhilarating and nauseating. definitely recommend to anyone ever, especially if you are autistic or delusional/dissociative. it's almost painfully sympathetic and i haven't seen many, if any, movies that actually care about a delusional character the way this one does.

sweet/spicy/savory:

sweet and savory kissing sloppy style. i like spice a lot too, though! it's a very close tier list. depending on my mood it's either sweet or savory at the top but i'm picky with the style of spice i like so she gets last place. sorry...

relationship status:

i dunno @determine can you help me by holding my hand and telling me you love me so i can figure out my complicated feelings culminating in a heartwarming coming of age story about aro fag love and sex in a modern society that doesnt yet understand atypical relationships starring ryan reynolds played by melly (she drives)

[jokes aside, taken 👍]

last thing i googled:

i don't save my search history on my phone browser but it was probably either something on e621 or the weather. because i am always checking the weather

current obsession:

i'm somewhat between things right now but undertale is a strong contender. replayed all the main routes recently and i feel like if i think too hard about flowey i might cause an event. honestly an event has already been caused. sorry. In 12 hours it might be walten files though

last thing i read:

for christmas i got some fan guides for earthbound and mother 3 from fangamer (thank you dad!) and looking through those was really interesting. doesn't really count as a thing i read (especially since i mostly skimmed) but that's really all i can remember. unless you want to count one of my many, many rereads of any akira himekawa zelda manga and the dark horse zelda compendium things (i keep reviewing how they categorize the timelines and examining the list of all items and their differing appearances in different games).

something i've been looking forward to:

this summer i get to spend a whole month with the love of my life and my friends! we're going to go to a concert (los campesinos!) and it will be my first time at a concert ever, we're going to anthrocon (not my first time, but my second! i feel much more prepared for the situation..) and my birthday! we'll have plenty of time to hang out and chill and do whatever and i'm just ecstatic to be back further up north and enjoy my youth. i get to eat at sheetz again!

TAG: @determine @mellyncholly if you guys want to do this! also anyone reading this (hi) you are also tagged if you want to be. everyone loves filling out forms with personal info! yay sharing!

[dirtyoldmanhole]

so i started reading the Fates manga late last night after learning it exists, and this was the best decision ever for characterization/meta learning, omg.

tl;dr of the manga is it's a take on Revelations' story, but from Leo's perspective, so a lot of the early material is much-needed worldbuilding on Nohr social life.

leo is genuinely cool. dude. i want to write that guy now. literal only shota protagonist i like, since his guile is refreshing, and so so much less annoying than corrin's naivety. he's got his heart in the right place but boy does that guy know crystal clear what it takes to survive. seeing how he works with niles is so refreshing.

it's so pretty. i'm shallow enough as an artist i need some top-tier art to reel me into manga. i love how it communicates so much of the body language and the harshness of Nohr life without even needing many words (the cold dark spires in the gloom, empty corridors with many hostile eyes, jumping to orders b/c there's an executioners axe right behind it )-- the contrast between the scarcity (physical and emotional) versus everyone trying to be upbeat and chipper is upsettingly well done here.

also seeing how like - cloistered? dystopian? Nohr life is with class differences. you only see the caretakers (jakob/felicia/fiora/gunter) once or twice and always on the margins. (man, no wonder gunter is genuinely shocked if/when femui hits on him. so much of this manga is retroactively making me go 'ooooooooh..... that's why (random character) was like That.' there's a heavy militaristic/authoritarian tone/contrast that i cannot wait to start really weaving into these fics. especially with gunter being an embodiment of that old order.)

jokingly, i'm not saying nohr is fashkink coded, but -

i've been talking with @damoselcastel about Marx and how he reads so different than the EN Xander in the base Fates script itself, and i LOVE how the Fates manga clearly takes after the JP characterizations, and how shell-shocked he still is from the concubine wars. you definitely get the sense the other nohr sibs don't quite trust him because everyone knows he will be their executioner if they step out of line.

See, after rereading all of gunter's fates (conquest) scripts + support last night a bunch of times before picking this up, it always felt so disjointed. the JP<>EN difference didn't help but it felt like he was several characters in one, from the strict disciplinarian of femui's upbringing, to what i'm calling "off the clock" relaxed gunter with her supports. i couldn't bridge the tonal clash those two, but now -

(this is helping me write that decidedly tasteless nsfw spanking fic with him and young!femui - because now i understand that streak of barely hidden resentment he has towards her between the class angle and his backstory with Garon, and how it'd be ripe for some nasty sexual undertones (that i am totally taking advantage of b/c i m trashy l m a o )

and yet, yet - i'm building a headcanon that when he fell down into the bottomless canyon he had a.... not a change of heart, per se, but after talking to azura, something close to like the only honest conversation he's had given his near death experience. about what he's fighting (and living for) and comes back with priorities rearranged.

also this is really hammering home how uncomfortably naive corrin is. i thought a few of her quirks in the EN fates script was just, classic cringy JRPG 'i fwight for mah fwiendsss' writing, but, sheesh, i don't even have to age her down for that sort of jarringly 'wow, damn you have no life experience with social politics and this is going to hit in some interesting ways w/this ship' vibe.

like the only scene gunter has in the manga he briskly approaches Marx while escorting femui back to krakengard, and starts talking (logistics of oncoming famines etc), and everyone else shushes both of them because "it isn't appropriate to mention such nasty things in front of femui! ^w^;;;" like, whew, there's a lot of emotional mileage for playing with neglect, how lack of transparency can lead to all kinds of abuse, how, almost, cripplingly reliant the nohr sibs are on their underclass of retainers/servants..... and on and on....

aaaa this is so tasty

[aimfor-theheart]

Hi there Cielo :) May I say the latest chapter of Godmaker was a stunning addition to the rest .. You put so much foreshadowing into the story and it's definitely paying off now - it was so suspenseful!

"He wanted to be human. Mortal. Man." I can't stress enough how much I loved this line .. Gojo's humanity (or lack thereof) is one of the most important and interesting things to explore about his character (definitely my favorite) and you've been dealing with this concept in such a meaningful and intense way :).

One thing I didn't mention in the last comment I left is how well you've portrayed all the other "side" characters, especially Nanami .. He's still so young yet he already feels so tired 😖 .. The family scenes feel so bittersweet and nostalgic, and this chapter was no exception! And Tsumiki - given the way the last three manga chapters have evolved (big sigh) the scenes that involved her and Megumi gained an extra layer of intensity.

Second to last, the desperation in reader's words when Yuta made his appearance .. Knowing his arrival is when things start to seriously unfold in JJK made the moment even more dramatic (I don't know if that made sense 😂).

And last but not least, can I just say .. the very last passage! With what I've said about Gojo's character in mind .. I think it's the best part of it! The way everything slid in place, his painful realization, and both the past and future implications of it ..

I'm as always in awe :,) Thank you so much again for spending your time to work on this and for sharing it with us .. I really mean it! I hope you have a great day :)

oh gosh im sorry im getting to this a few days late!! its been sitting in my asks and i've been rereading it 💕

first of all, thank you AGAIN for taking the time to read and then come into my inbox to share your thoughts 😩😩💕 as always, it means the world to me!!

i think gojo has a...human complex lol. i've seen it go around the dash recently but it was something i'd thought/had been the basis of godmaker for a long time which is that gojo doesn't have a god complex because he just is a god. and he wants to be human. or he wants another god. he doesn't want to be alone anymore. and i took it the next level in godmaker LMAO

god the tsumiki bomb dropped on me and i went SHIT. bc i was not planning on THAT. and then megumi...oh megumi. either way. i had to continue godmaker despite whatever akutami is putting out lol. but im glad you're enjoying the side characters! i actually love writing nanami always. even if he's a tough nut.

it makes total sense!! that's what i intended for it to be! i do feel like yuuta marks the beginning of the end, in the reader's mind. she'll get to meet him next chapter and she. kinda sees him as a bad omen in her life lol.

but gosh THANK YOU! i really really really appreciate you taking the time to send this message and share your thoughts! honestly one of my fav parts of posting on here is when i get to do this!!

thank you again and sorry this is late!! i hope you're doing well friend 💕💕

[hua-fei-hua]

Hi Huaaaaaaa I'm in your askbox :3

10, 19, 23, 45 for the Fanfiction Questions, I simply must know

hiii naviiiiii we are hanging out on my blog :33

totally forgot i rb'd those things hehe but anyway~

10.  Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?

at first glance, my thought was no, bc i don't really fandom-ize every bit of media i absorb, just a few special ones (i can be normal about things!! for real (not clickbait)!!!)

that said, there are a few fandoms i've read fic for that i've never written for! going all the way back to my roots, i read so much mlp fic, n although i technically wanted to write mlp fic back in the day (n have like. two paragraphs of an ancient pitch rotting in my gdocs), i never really committed to it.

nat made me read some pokespe fics too back in the day, so i've read a couple of those too despite never really reading a ton of the manga. one pokespe author also recommended some kingdom hearts fic that i ended up reading, despite having never played kh or knowing anything about it really!

i also used to read a lot of miraculous ladybug fic (once in a blue moon i'll also get update emails for some of them c':), n although i had some ideas for mlb fic, i never wrote any of them.

i think the most recent fandoms i've read but never written for have been the adventure zone (balance), since i'd read taz fic as it crossed my dash after i listened to the podcast, and princess tutu, bc i had a mutual who got into it, so i started w/their fic after i watched the anime, then poked around the archive a bit hehe

19. Is there a ship which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?

hmmm i'm honestly kind of a "once a hater, always a hater" kind of person, so it's kind of hard for me to think of a ship that i see around, know the basic appeal of, but don't really Understand in a way that makes me more proactive or picky w/seeing them portrayed.

that said, i would love to read some kokosara meta that elaborates on how a relationship btwn them would further kokomi's character, why sara is the only character who would be able to push her in that particular direction

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

oooo that's tough, since i'm very fond of p much all my fics for various different reasons, even if i don't think their writing is particularly up to my standards anymore.

like, even tho jjk was technically a while ago for me now, i'm still obsessed w/the idea of a constellation au (zenith); and the diner at the end of the night is still easily one of the most well-written high-energy comedies i've ever pulled off.

it's also really hard to pick out of my genshin fics which one holds the most specialest place in my heart bc most of them hold niches in my heart!!!

typically, though, i pick disjunct bc during the writing process, it was the first time where i really felt allowed to give a character Mixed Race Struggles(tm) wholesale w/o feeling like i was just making them mixed for the sake of it. i'm also really happy with the way it ended up resonating w/people on a core level, and the experience of artist-viewer connection n just having an Art Moment(tm) that resulted!!

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?

i used to say A Miscellaneous Tale of Night and Day, which is The 200k word pokespe fic nat made me read when we were in high school that hasn't updated since 2012 that has effectively inoculated me against "abandoned fanfiction sadness", and the plot n premise are still a ton of fun, but i've been rereading it a bit as of late, and you can feel the early 2010s casual transphobia and misogyny in it lol. i'd say that it helped shape my comedic tastes/ability to just write self-indulgently, so for that, i'd categorize it under "influential fics"

honestly my favorite fics tend to be long multichapters, but there are honestly so few that line up with my tastes and have an ending in genshin, n i didn't read enough in jjk to have any longfics to really be fondly subscribed to. thinking about it, i genuinely think my fave fics are just the ones nat n i make up together over discord until five in the morning LMAO

in terms of fics that exist(ed, at least at one point), i'd say the now-deleted snk fic tower of babel would probably qualify as one of my all-time faves, n i can say that's not just the nostalgia glasses bc i do still have a copy on my hard drive lol. the premise is that five girls, each hiding their own secrets from each other or the world, end up renting one apartment together, n they learn to trust each other enough to communicate n rely on one another. there's also a bit of romance happening in the bg, but it's not the biggest aspect of the fic, n i really liked that!!! also the way it dropped the title in the end, basically stating its main theme as "it's a lot easier to fix your problems if you communicate abt it" CHANGED MY LIFE the first time i read it lol

ANYWAY YEAH that's all of them hehe thanks for the ask~

fanfiction questions

[badwolfwho1]

tag 9 people to get to know better

Tagged by @coraniaid

3 ships: I'll go with a few eras for variety here, Buffy/Faith from Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the current big one for sure, Shaw/Root from Person of Interest is probably the one that has spent the longest time consistently shipped and for a classic ship Ike/Soren from Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn

First ever ship: Luckily I can reach back far enough to not have to say it was a Sonic the Hedgehog ship because I'm pretty sure it would've been Link/Malon from Ocarina of Time

Last song: I've been working my way through Gojira's discography lately, I think A Sigh to Behold was the last one I listened to, really digging their work love the variety they've got and I especially love how, as the name suggests, a ton of their tracks would not feel out of place on a Godzilla soundtrack

Last movie: John Wick Chapter 4, if that movie had been shorter I'd have been all for it but it did pick up in the last hour for sure. Also like the day before that was Cocaine Bear which that was a real well paced one and a half hours, great fun.

Currently reading: I've got two books on the go currently, The Unspoken Name for my at home book, The Unspoken Name is great, you can really see the Tombs of Atuan influence in the setup and I love Tombs of Atuan, also some great worldbuilding love all that weird stuff in there, big fan of the main character she's got a great mix of religious guilt over not dying in a sacrifice and feeling indebted to the wizard who saved her from it. Also love me a big snake and there is a big snake there. Really need to get back on the horse with reading that one. And I've got Tomb Raider the Ten Thousand Immortals for my on the bus book, I do not recommend Tomb Raider the Ten Thousand Immortals but I love Tomb Raider and I got it cheap so I am reading it. Oh and I guess I have a couple manga on the go, Hajime no Ippo feels like it is slowly heading towards the beginning of the end, emphasis on the slowly and Jojolands is too soon to tell how good its gonna end up being but Jojo's usually good even the Part I don't like is still pretty good so I'm pretty confident, I look forward to a final boss fight that will blow my mind in ten years time. Also not strictly speaking currently but at any point I may be dragged into a Wheel of Time reread and at that point its all over for me.

Currently watching: I'm watching too much stuff and all of it for the first time; Buffy S5, Angel S2 are the big ones that I've been working my way through for ages and are probably taking up the most real estate in my mind of anything I'm watching right now, just started Extraordinary Attorney Woo the other day as well and I'm also a couple episodes deep into The Fall of the House of Usher, having a good enough time with both of them so far.

Currently consuming: I just had a nice apricot croissant

Currently craving: Tis the season I'm looking forward to some Pumpkin Pie

Tagging: @asha-mage @asynca @bandydear @doodle-spooder @explosionshark @lesbiantahani @moghedien @open-sketchbook @wistfulwatcher

[lovlettres-moved]

Hey! I've been really craving some manga recs lately, and since you have impecable taste 👌i thought you were the best person to ask! What wld you rec?

hiiii i haven't actually read a lot of manga ;-; i am pretty new to reading it and am still discovering things i like but here are some of my favorite reads

🌷 hirayasumi by keigo shinzo (i already recommended it to you but it's such a light fun read i can't help but recommend it again -- i love the lightness of joy found in living with simplicity)

🌷hoseki no kuni by haruko ichikawa (it's about life after the end of humanity and what becomes of what humanity leaves behind -- a beautiful story, i think the art is one of the most beautiful ones ive seen, do look up the trigger warnings though i read it a long time back so i don't remember much ;-;)

🌷 spirit in the sky by daisuke igarashi (beautifully composed and written, there's empathy and beauty, but there's also the exploration of the everyday horror of living -- not a light read but it leaves you thinking a lot)

🌷 mushishi by yuki urushibara (haunting but not in the sense of horror but in the sense that what loves you will haunt you, and what you love will carry you as much as you carry it -- the fleeting-ness of moving that transcends beyond ones connection with humans; there's a lot of empathy in one's connection with nature, and how one approaches non-humans and humans and keeps a balance between giving them compassion)

🌷 natsume's book of friends by yuki midorikawa (shoujo, short snippets of the life of the main character -- learning to live again, there's a lot of focus on friendships and it handles them so carefully it's beautiful)

🌷 blame! by tsutomo nihei (science fiction, post-apocalyptic, futuristic world -- it fucks up with your mind the first time you read it so it requires a lot of rereads after you let it sit with you, which is the fun part about reading it -- the art and composition is one of my favorites especially the neverending architecture, it almost feels like reading a game -- the narrative is structured haphazardly which is the appeal of it)

🌷🌷🌷

[mooifyourecows]

HI MOO!!!! First, I love you and your work so much!!!! You’re amazing and everything you do is amazing and you’re the top of the top I swear! I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve reread your stuff ;) Second, I saw that you’re watching one piece - do you have a list of your top anime? Or recommendations? I have some free time and want to get back into watching some good ones! Thanks again for all your hard work!!

Hmmm well, it's been forever since i've watched anime other than my big 3 (Haikyuu, One Piece, Jujutsu Kaisen) but let's see if I can wrangle up any memories of anime I've watched in the past lmao....

One anime that ALWAYS comes to mind when people ask for recs is B Gata H Kei (Yamada's First Time), especially the English dub, because it's so fuckin' funny. It's about a high school girl trying to lose her virginity so it's got a lot of sexual themes but I feel like they're portrayed really well and so, so embarrassing. Every time I watch it, I cringe through the awkwardness but unlike other things that give me secondhand embarrassment, I just LOVE it. I've literally cried laughing while watching this show and I even bought it on Blu-ray, which is a huge compliment because Im a cheap ass who only buys anime that I REALLY love (Haikyuu)

Another great comedy is Space Dandy, which I also enjoy watching the dub of. Space Dandy is my partner's favorite so we own that one too lmao

If you like the classics then obviously Trigun, Samurai Champloo, and Baccano! are on the list for me. I believe it is very difficult to find Baccano to watch though. Like, it's probably on some unofficial streaming sites but it's nowhere legal like crunchyroll or funimation or what have you. At least not when i last checked. I actually wanted to buy Baccano because I love it so much but it's just... not around lmao rip

If you enjoy some more serious stuff then I really enjoyed 91 Days.

Erased is another good one, though beware because it does contain some dark themes such as child abuse

Danshi Koukousei no Nichijo (Daily Lives of High School Boys) is a fun comedy that always makes me laugh

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun is so so good too

If you like really peaceful anime then Natsume Yujin-cho is 👌👌

Usagi Drop is soooooo cute but DON'T LOOK UP THE MANGA. Seriously, just enjoy the anime for what it is and pretend that there is no manga because that shit got ruined and just knowing how it ends almost ruins the anime for me lmao just kill your curiosity rn

I never finished it but Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken was really good from what I saw of it. I'm just terrible at finishing things lmao

It's been a long time since I've seen it but I remember really liking School Rumble 🤔

Ohhh and Megalobox! Love it

Gakuen Handsome is a true masterpiece, a work of art, so I def recommend that one too

Anyway, that's all I can think of at the moment. I'm pretty sure I've suggested these same anime over and over again and they're probably not that new to a lot of people but like i said, i haven't been watching a lot of anime lately lol (also ignore if I've misspelled anything, i was too lazy to look them up)

[roublardise]

hiii 🥰 2, 6 and 23 for the books ask 💕

hiiii 🥰

2. Did you reread anything? What?

yes yes yes yes!!!! I've actually reread a lot (when you do a ratio of reread/how many books read i think, idk i don't do maths) 🤔 I'm gonna make a little list:

- Murder on the Orient-Express, by Agatha Christie A classic I had read when I was in high school. I remembered the big plot twist, so it was super interesting to reread it knowing it (and nothing else bc I have a shitty plot memory).

- Détective Conan, by Gosho Aoyama I've started rereading them in late 2020, so in 2021 I've read from vol 20 to 78. I've been having so much fun it's sooo good 😭 my bro is also reading them we can be obsessed together 💕 I'm only at vol 78 by now, bc the scans I was reading changed? like the french is now fansub, and I can't read their typography lol. So I gotta read in english, and it's weird to read this manga from my childhood in english, and I also struggle more to understand the cases 😔 I'm taking my time, but it's there, always in the back of my mind!

edit: the reread is only up until vol 50 or so, with a big lapse between 23 and 51 bc that's the vol I owned

- THE HUNGER GAMES TRILOGY, by Suzanne Collins 💕 Loved loved loved loved loved going back into it!!! I had read it at least three times already, but I hadn't in a few years and idk I felt like it. I didn't plan to, but I took the opportunity to read the prequel as well.

Fascinated bc, well for once I do remember a lot of the plot, but I still rediscovered a lot (with a lot of "wait I thought it went [smth which was changed in the movies]"). But especially when it came to the whole political ideas, like I'm way more political than I was when I've read it before, so I was able to think more about that part of the books. I also had a whole new view on it bc I'm not close to Katniss' age anymore, and I was going "she's so young leave her alone" all along 💀

Masterpiece writing truly Suzanne Collins GETS IT soooo much. And it's not the question but people who gave the prequel two stars on goodreads do NOT get it they can't read imo. All her choices are so deliberate I'm truly amazed it's beautiful, she knows what she's doing!! I was a bit frustrated by the end bc we don't know what the political state is by that point, and I was so curious. But I had to remember that it wasn't the point of the trilogy, not really. It makes sense, it's just a bit frustrating bc I have so many questions about it.

.

6. Was there anything you meant to read, but never got to?

I wanted to (rere)reread Six of Crows, by Leigh Bardugo as well, but I know I'll get obsessed so I had to wait. I was already taken by spn, detective conan, and thg, and I was supposed to finish my master 😂

I wanted to read, finally, Les Orageuses, by Marcia Burnier. It's about anger & feminism, it was rec to me by a friend bc it's 100% my vibe. But it's one of these books I'm waiting for the Right Time for, and it wasn't this year.

And the book my big bro got me for my bday it seems soooo cool but I wanted to wait until my master to be done to read it! It's Sur les ossements des morts, by Olga Tokarczuk. It's likely there's an english title somewhere bc it got a Nobel prize, but it's a polish book so it won't be the original title who cares lmao. There's so much in this book deep with meaning I can't believe my bro found that, there's a murder, the main character is into astrology, it's a polish book, it's written by a feminist, and the cover is stunning 🥺🥺 I can't wait to get into it!!!

.

23. What’s the fastest time it took you to read a book?

Oh well, an afternoon? 😂 It was a book about gender stuff, but pretty basic, it's about giving notions. I've read it when I was planning an intervention around these topics for work, bc my brain is so academical I struggle to write easy definition for some concept so I needed to get back to a "beginner" level.

It was Beyoncé est-elle féministe?, by Osez le féminisme ! and it's so liberal and racist 😭 I didn't know it was written by this collective when I read it, otherwise I'm not sure I would have bother. They contradict themselves from one page to another, and I'm not over a racist drawing in like, p30 or smth 💀

Otherwise I was a slow reader this year, I may have took 3 days for some books, but overall going more around one week.

end-of-year book ask

[seoafin]

HELLO FREN! IT'S BEEN A WHILE!! I hope life and uni treating u well!! I miss u so much!! <33 i miss leaving smut fic ideas/drabbles ask to u ehehehe. Been MIA for a long time bc of life and college 😭 the other day I accidentally met naruto weeb online and he said that sakura is lame blah blah,, yk the usual and it made me *punches air. He needs to realize that kishimoto didnt know how to write women at all. And ahh I really want to start tr but lately I've been demotivated and just rewatch kny n jjk n reread all the completed webtoon i've read (oh!holy, devil no.4 etc) 😭😭 btw have u read gangsta?? It's one of my all time fav manga. -🦊

hiiiiiiiiii!!!

i totally get it LOL i'm having the time of my life at uni but also im exhausted and my social battery is DRAINED but i hope you’ve been doing well!!

yes I LOVE GANGSTA and the hiatus is killing me!!! but also im kinda glad because the latest chapters absolutely crushed me and shred my heart into pieces. kohske does NOT shy away from portraying brutal and heart wrenching deaths, and they do it especially well since it’s never portrayed as gratuitous more than (sadly) circumstance and plain tragedy

[specialability]

Naruto

In my Naruto reread I've basically hit the point where I stopped reading the manga in its original run. I didn't even make it to the Sasuke vs Itachi fight originally and then speed-read a bunch once it ended so I don't remember it much. Unnecessarily long thoughts follow.

The first story arc, i.e. pre-time-skip, is a bit rough sometimes but is fairly tightly written and fast-paced. It has a set of coherent themes and character arcs. Unfortunately, this is only 27 volumes, ending with Kakashi Gaiden.

There are 72 volumes total so that's only about a third of series. The second post-time-skip arc (Shippuden) starts off okay as it reintroduces all the new characters. Kakashi vs Itachi (and Gai's rescue~) is vol 29. As some variety from going to rescue Sasuke they go to rescue Gaara instead. I appreciate this arc because we get some more Sand Siblings and Team Gai. Most interestingly, Sakura gets her one and only battle victory. As far as battles go, it's a well-written one as Sakura shows off her new skills, intelligence, and determination. She gets a W on the board and we get two women fighting together! Chiyo's relationship to Gaara changing is genuinely touching.

The introduction of the chakra types in Shippuden feels like a very late retcon. Even though Kishimoto may have been using those concepts from the beginning, it really doesn't feel like it, especially when he avoids explaining more how more complex jutsu fit the system. It's impossible not to compare to Hunter x Hunter (although I'm trying) because as Gon and Killua progress through that story and learn more about the magic system of that world you definitely get the feeling that all the battles previously still make sense and a lot of things fall into place for the audience as well the characters. It's a bit like hitting a twist in a mystery. In order for it to feel satisfying you have to be able to look back and say "oh, I see it now". For examples of this not being done well see also: midichlorians

While Togashi is definitely the master of shonen battle manga when it comes to coming up with intentional magic systems, it's Oda who is probably the best at coming up with new powers and plot twists and making it seem like he was planning it all along. Fans call him GOda, but in interviews he's always like "at the last minute I had a sudden inspiration on how to finish this battle!" and then fans find some detail from volume 2 that has come back to pay off in volume 200 or whatever. I'm not sure sometimes how much of it is planned and how much is completely flying by the seat of his pants. If you write a manga for so long, there's no way you can remember every detail the way fans do.

And then back into the story... I cannot overemphasize how boring it is to rehash the same argument over and over again. Yamato and Sai are added to Team 7 in vol 32 and this starts the Pain arc which is... painful. It can't help but feel a bit cheap that after only a few years of training Naruto surpasses basically everybody else including his mentors. Pain apparently seeks to derive world peace from essentially causing equal pain to everyone. Fair enough, people in real life have made that argument. However, Naruto's response inspiring him to revive everyone and also kill himself so Naruto doesn't have to bloody his hands feels even more cheap and childish. I can't help but feel the philosophical questions of why is there war and how to solve cycles of violence is beyond Naruto as a character but also Naruto as a narrative.

This is also what strikes me about Sasuke vs Itachi and his interactions with Tobi afterwards. Naruto's response to "how do we solve war and heal emotional wounds" is generally a big shrug and "be nice to people". His unintentional method of seeking peace is befriending world leaders one at a time which isn't completely ineffectual. Sasuke's response to "how do we stop people from suffering" is "who cares, fuck you, my pain is more important than yours". Which is even more childish. An interesting theme that doesn't seem utilized is being trapped in one's childhood / not progressing as a person because you choose to hold on to your pain otherwise you feel you'll have nothing. Gaara's character arc towards accepting and giving love after alienation and suffering is way better by comparison. The manga keeps bringing up more mature big questions like the economic value of war but never actually addresses the various viewpoints and keeps skipping back to the interpersonal relationships. Which I mean sure, is important. But since there's no intentionality about it it just ends up feeling muddied.

On to the next...

[narumi-gens]

Ahh I’m so happy to be back! And glad that I was able to introduce you to a manga that you ended up enjoying that much! I’m so so excited for the anime ESPECIALLY for the opening and closing animations and songs?? They’re one of my favourite parts of anime and I just know Mappa is gonna do an amazing job (AOT Final Season Part 1 intro is one of my absolute faves of all time! JJK’s first intro as well.) I’ll probably end up squeezing a reread in after watching the first season of the anime or maybe even after just a couple episodes knowing me haha.

Ohhhh you know I’ll be here pumping up my foam “Number 1!” finger for you if you ever decide to write some Ayashimon content! I actually have a Japanese/American traditional styled sleeve of yokai tattooed on my arm and one of them is a lady in white!

Oh Mel! You absolutely have to read the Golden Kamuy manga. I started off with the manga before watching the anime and the anime skips soooo much of the manga, it bums me out so much 😭 Honestly, GK is probably one of my top 5 favourite manga of all time so I’m super excited for you to read it and I’m really looking forward to seeing what you think!

I think all of us are so happy Mappa's producing it since they've been on such a run lately. And hopefully when people who haven't heard of hp hear that it's Mappa's new anime, it'll be enough to get them curious enough to watch the first ep, which of course will be amazing. (Actually thinking back on it, the first chapter of hp might be my fave first chapter of any manga ever.)

Ahhh your tattoo sounds so cool! I really love how Kaku introduces all of the different yokai. I just still don't think I'll ever get over how cool Kotton's character design is. It just makes me so excited for what Kaku has in store for us considering we're not even at chapter 20.

Oof, I'm so glad you told me about gk bc for half a second I was wondering whether I should just pick up where the anime ends since there are sooooo many chapters (but don't worry, I only thought that for half a second!). I've been wanting to read it for forever and then saw that Viz has it so I'm really excited to start it!

[hiruma-musouka]

(Pt 1) I've been reading your discussion on your Unpausing Life verse and I love every bit of it. I headcanon Kawahira and Skull's relationship to be one of those lovey-dovey types where they often give each other small gifts and go on dates while also having fun trolling others. So for the part about Kawahira's opinion on the Vindice rising, I can see it dropping so fast and dropping further than it was before. If only because the two of them often go on dates but the Vindice keep interrupting.

(Pt 2) The first few times it happened, Kawahira was just amused and led them on a merry chase. But after the tenth time or so, he just started getting pissed because he just wants to spend time with Skull and get laid. What is the relationship between Skull and the Vindice members anyways? Specifically, before they became Vindice, were they close friends since I don’t think that Skull played the fool multiple times?

(Pt 3)  If they’re fond of Skull (even if it’s in a “only we can be mean to him” way), what do they think of the current Arcobaleno? Will they try to reach out to them and ask for help in rescuing Skull and that’s how the Arcobaleno find out about Skull’s act if they didn’t find out about everything at party? Or would the Vindice dismiss them since they obviously too blind to notice someone’s act for a few decades? Do certain members of the Vindice brag about knowing the true Skull to them?

This was interesting to read so I hope you enjoy my rambling response under the read more link. I sorta headcanon these two as a semi-independent couple where they each have their own interests and hobbies, they like to do things together or apart, or they’ll just be in the same general vicinity while doing separate things. I think at the time I wrote Unpausing Life I had wanted an immortal(ish) couple that wasn’t codependent as is so common in fics.

(Little casual gifts or something sounds nice though. Like, “Hey! I’m back from the Amazon after five years –I developed food cravings– where did you put Oodako’s spare tank while I was gone? I brought some piranha as a keepsake.” or “I got you a shirt while I was out shopping.” “… Urðr… how long are you going to keep up the ramen jokes? You know my feelings about orange and that’s before we even get to the fact this Naruto shirt was made for a five year old.”)

As for the Vindice, I haven’t fleshed it out, but I’d like there to be some internal variation among them towards Skull (before and after they became Vindice) because they’re all individuals and different people have different dynamics. And I would need to reread the manga, but I don’t think their consideration for the Arcobaleno was all that involved: the Arcobaleno were just the latest group of suckers or something. They were balanced on that edge of “potentially like us/not like us yet”. The Vindice probably dismiss them mostly for being younger and weaker and not having the right priorities (as far as the Vindice are concerned) more than for not noticing Skull messing with them. After all, Skull is older and their peer with a lot of implied skill due to age. Dismissing the Arcobaleno as blind for not noticing his act implies that the Vindice think Skull’s act should be easy to correctly see through rather than the Arcobaleno thinking “this guy is so annoying and full of shit” and then ignoring him.

The Vindice also had a bit of tunnel blindness when it came to their resentment and determination for revenge (Night Flames, you know) so I think that might well be one of the primary ties binding their group together. Considering they are implied to have to maintain that thirst for revenge to continuing existing even now… it should make for weird reactions and dynamics. I’m not sure, I haven’t really thought about it in depth because my KHR interest waned and I’d probably have to read the manga before getting back into it.

However, I don’t think they’d brag about knowing the true Skull: partly because I got tired of that trope in fics but also because you brag when you want to show off how great you are or how proud or how lesser someone else is and… I don’t think the Vindice care? At least not about proving anything. Everyone already knows they’re trouble. They are essentially unbeatable. And another reason for bragging - to make someone else jealous - doesn’t really fit because I don’t think they care about the Arcobaleno’s thoughts and the Arcobaleno aren’t invested in knowing Skull anyway.

I don’t know if I said that clearly, but it’s one of the trends that bug me in KHR fics where Skull was some other person and the Arcobaleno find out and they’re all regretful or hurt or ???  It seems out of character for them. They’re not a cohesive, close knit group of friends who are invested in each other, and they’re mostly assholes to boot. Them finding out about Skull not being who he was (especially in Unpausing Life) would more likely result in “you are fucking what!?” and pissed off questions of whether Skull was colluding with Checkerface and lots of irritated realizations on exactly how much trolling that little shit did, I’m going to fill him full of holes and etc.

Anyway, I’m glad you’re having fun with the verse! (Sorry for the late reply)