#esp when they had this shit come out of the mouth with a character they LITERALLY gave a hebrew name. bash my brains out. right now

[copaganda-clobberfest]

As a Jewish person, I stopped watching RWBY around the beginning of s5 when Adam (the main White Fang antagonist) said that the goal of the White Fang was to replace humans in society. It came SO shortly after those riots where people where chanting "Jews will not replace us" and it made me so sick to my stomach to watch a conspiracy theory like that actually play out on screen that I hard stopped watching a show I'd been highkey obsessed with for years.

.

[dreamofjoys]

— 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘿𝙍𝘼𝙂𝙊𝙉'𝙎 𝘽𝙀𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀𝘿

Synopsis: The dragons have decided to stake their claim on you by making you the mother of their children. They take turns to lay their eggs in you.

Characters involved(NOT separated): Malleus (TWST) x Zhongli (Genshin) x Neuvillette (Genshin) x DanHeng (HSR) x DanFeng (HSR) x Fem reader

C/W: Poly relationship, dark content, SMUT (spicy level -99), oviposition, knotting, masturbation, creampie, blowjob

A/N: I wanna write more oviposition for every dragon ppl but it's too time consuming. So i said fuck it and make them all in one shot. I badly wanted to include Danfeng so hehehehhehehehehhee also, it's short.

DO NOT READ / DO NOT PROCEED IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH SUCH CONTENT! I WILL BLOCK YOU IF YOU MAKE ANY NEGATIVE COMMENTS (esp when I already stated the warnings) minors go away please.

"Is she okay?" Zhongli murmurs, placing his forefinger on his chin, tilting his head slightly while staring at your fucked out expression. He was confused why you were staring up at the ceiling with your mouth open wide, as if his rock hard dick wasn't nestled inside your pussy. "She will be fine, Im going to give her a treat." Danfeng taps his dick lightly on your lips, and you obediently took his whole length inside your mouth, sucking it like an ice cream popsicle.

"If she can still suck you off like that, I guess she is fine." Malleus groans, the sight of another man fucking your throat while your pussy greedily sucking onto a dragon's dick was so hot, he fist onto his dick faster, feeling himself climax as his cum starts spurting out. He aims it at your body, wanting to paint you in white by the end of this session.

You didn't know how you got into this situation, but somehow your dragon boyfriends have decided to come into an agreement to claim you properly, in a dragon way. And really, what are dragons famous for? Laying eggs inside their non dragon partner! And now, you find yourself laying on your shared bed naked along with your boyfriends. Zhongli is currently the one egging you while you were giving Danfeng a blowjob. DanHeng, Malleus and Neuvillette were busy masturbating themself, waiting for their turn to fuck you.

"Hnnngh, ah-" Your body shakes, feeling Zhongli's dick getting bigger and bigger inside while something small and hard was pushing through your vaginal walls, and into your womb. You tried moving away, but find yourself unable to do so... it's almost as if you had become one with Zhongli!

"Sweetie, are you trying to move away from Zhongli?" Neuvillette whispers into your ear, feeling a little bad for your situation. "He is knotting you right now, that's why he feels big. It's to prevent the female from escaping while we lay our eggs inside you. Bear with us, alright?" Neuvillette kisses your cheek, and you watch as he starts creaming around his hand while you swallowed down the cum that Danfeng had dumped in you.

"Im done, Danheng, you are next." The archon finally pulls out, and you whined at the loss but was quickly replaced with Danheng's thick and slender girth. "Im sorry Y/N, I'll make it haah quick." Danheng apologises, also feeling a little bad. But can he really make it quick when your walls are squeezing so unbelievably tight around him? Now he knows why Zhongli was taking his time to egg you. Neuvillette switches position with Danfeng, deep throating you with his cum coated dick. You gave him kitten licks on his girth, using your small hands to fondle on his balls while Neuvillette throws his head, once again groaning while he cums down your throat.

"Mhmmm, let me try this on her." Malleus interjects, latching his lips onto your nipples while he sucks onto them like how you would do to Neuvillette's dick. "Holy shit, she just came-" Danheng gasped, feeling your pussy milk around his cock. He was trying to be quick and push his egg in faster, but the sheer tightness and warmth around his dick had his head spinning and heart beat accelerating into madness. Your pussy feels like a personal cocksleeve.

You were sure that your back is going to break with how much you are arching them off, your moans were all swallowed down by Neuvillette's dick, drools leaking down from the side of your mouth since the man refuses to give you a break. You look at Zhongli and Danfeng who were busy masturbating themselves at the sight of your dishevelled state, seemingly cumming whenever they see your belly getting larger and larger with their eggs.

So spread your legs wider and open your mouth bigger. Your dragon boyfriends desperately wants to see your womb filled to the brim with their eggs.

[tojisun]

https://www.tumblr.com/tojisun/739286806700376064/as-a-strange-little-dude-who-collects-bones-im or hear me out…Soap with a little true crime/ conspiracy theory gf! He’d totally get behind the deep dives trying to find the truth!

AHHHHHH YEA I SEE IT I SEE THE VISION!!

shes a goth girl into true crimes/conspiracies!! (esp after how he and bimbo!reader have this conspiracy talk sesh happening?? he’s definitely falling for a true crime/conspiracy theory gf!!)

giggling imagining johnny and his gf (you) hiding from each other their… interest (borderline obsession tbh) because they’re both afraid of being judged. so you know, they’d watch these movies that kinda deal with conspiracies or the main character is being targeted by a serial killer and they’re vibrating on their seats, both holding back from exploding in jittered excitement because they wanna be the chill partner, ykyk?

well, one day, johnny forgot to wheel away his whiteboard of conspiracies (currently, he’s trying to prove that pigeons are govt spies) and you come home to see this board with detailed analyses and accounts; dates are underlined with a red marker, while a blue marker was used to write the names of people who have been “silenced” after “exposing” the “truth” about pigeons. it’s lacking a red string that connects one case to another, but that’s only because johnny was using washytape — the designs are, ironically, birds.

johnny’s in the kitchen, preparing dinner, when he remembers what he forgot; he skids to the living room, hoping to salvage a piece of his dignity, only to see you standing in front of the board, your mouth agape.

“i can explain,” he starts, cringing to himself at hearing just how more suspicious that sounded. “i-”

“oh my god, jock,” you say, breathless in your own excitement. “oh. my. god. jock!”

“what?” johnny asks, confusion now triumphing over his mortification because if you’re still using his nickname, then that must mean things are okay, right?

“wait here!” you scream before turning to run to your room. you flung your bag to the carpet where it sags like a sad potato sack. johnny picks it up and hides it in the closet.

he waits like promised, fiddling with his thumbs while shooting looks between where you’ve ran off to and the board. he rereads some anecdotes, his mind running on overdrive, before snapping his head up at hearing the sound of your feet padding back towards him.

you have about three leather-bound notebooks clutched in your embrace, two of which look worn, while the other it still quite crisp. his nose wrinkles in confusion but johnny decides to wait it out, trusting you to take over.

you fall to the carpet, crowding the coffee table, before urging him to sit beside you. johnny does, his legs knocking against each other as he crouches down and shuffles to move closer to you. he watches as you lay out your notebooks, hands gentle as you begin to flip through the pages.

johnny still feels so lost as to what’s going on.

“mo luaidh?” he asks.

you hum in question, still focused on finding a specific page, he guesses.

“what’re you lookin’ for?”

“oh, just- ah! here!” then you’re thrusting your notebook to him.

johnny takes it with care, his eyes flitting through the pages — “to what end is it satirical? what if, amidst the jokes, the government began to use it in actuality? what if they began to capitalize on it? what if we had given them an excuse to hide behind? had we served them a cover on a silver platter? how do we trust that they’re not conniving enough to truly take advantage of this? ‘birds aren’t real’ but to what extent?”

“what-” johnny’s voice peters. “holy shit?”

he whirls to look up at you. “is this-”

“yes!” you say, giggling. “i thought it was just me!”

johnny drops your notebook back on the table to pluck you from where you sat and plop you on his lap. you laugh when he begins to pepper kisses across your face, exaggerated smooching-noises ringing between you two.

(his office gains another whiteboard.)

—

i went fuckin bonkers again aeojdajef forgive me!!!

ikik the pigeon conspiracy is mostly a parody atp but its just. funny hehaeejr

[blue-thief]

do you perhaps have some headcanons about mr. isagi? <3

OFC!! <3333

on top of having 2.0 vision (and well, metavision) his VVIQ score is a perfect 5

this helps him a lot with art and he's actually pretty good at it even though he's not as passionate about it as he is with football/soccer

he started drawing through doodling his favourite manga characters and he's able to recreate art styles almost perfectly

he's actually pretty careless when it comes to his schoolwork (esp for STEM) so sometimes he'll hand in incomplete work bc it looks like he's already filled in certain questions

like no. you doodled an eye instead of solving for "x"

he canonically hates science, but if he had to choose one branch as his favourite, it would be chemistry (not boring & derivative memorization like bio but not absolutely insane like physics)

something might contradict this in canon but i hc his handwriting is pretty shitty lmao

since so many sports anime characters look like him (nanase haruka, kageyama tobio, etc) i like to pretend they're all cousins and they meet up at family reunions to compete to see who's better at their respective sport

so yeah despite having no siblings he has a shit ton of cousins who he's really close to

he was conceived by accident 💀 his parents love and coddle him despite this

despite showing the exact opposite of the typical symptoms (great spacial awareness, scarily good empathy, etc) i still say he's got autism lmao. he just has a really unique type yk

his hobby is canonically walking, but i wanna expand on this a little bit

he somehow doesn't listen to music on his walks

(in fact, he doesn't listen to much music at all. that's why his fav song is from a commercial 💀)

furthermore, he rarely ever brings his phone out on walks at all. he likes being at one with his surroundings and he doesn't want his phone to distract him

which is understandable. unless we're talking about how he'll sometimes walk 2+ hours to go to a friends house AND HE DOESN'T HAVE IT?? NO GPS??? NO MAP NOTHING

he's just spent so much time walking around saitama he has a map of most of it installed in his mind

he really doesn't use his phone much at all. he has a few accounts in case he wants to check something out, but he doesn't post anything + barely follows anyone + even has a blank pfp on everything

he apparently received 0 valentine's chocolates in the previous year, but a few ppl from school had a crush on him

he's not popular or anything but some ppl over the years thought he was a genuinely sweet guy and quietly observed him from a distance

he's completely oblivious to this

his school friends all have way more romantic experience than him and they all tease him for this

he gets really frustrated about this and tries to convince himself he likes certain ppl in hopes of something sticking

when he genuinely likes someone he's oblivious to this too lmaoo

he's the type of guy to take dodgeball in PE wayyy too seriously

the first time he swore was when he was eight and got mad at his teammates for slacking off

he got in trouble for this and never swore in front of an adult ever again

(the lack of any physical adults in blue lock made him fall back on his foul mouth)

his fav class is PE in canon but i think i remember something about isagi hating baseball? that might have just been someone else's hc but yeah

he enjoys basketball and badminton, but he thinks volleyball is mid

the one time his school tried floor hockey he enjoyed it well enough

american football is just way too confusing for him

he had no backup plans in case football/soccer didn't work out, but he'd be fantastic in psychology and/or politics

[galaxostars]

If you had to choose your top five favourite marauders era characters and ships, what would they be?

This question was actually so hardddd haha and I feel like you could ask me again in a month and my answer would be different bc I’m such a multishipper that… yeah xD but for now here it issss :

Fave characters :

1. James Potter : mhm I love myself an arrogant goofball who’s actually smarter than people give him credit for, who’s got so much love he’s impulsive with it and hurts the ones he loves, who doesn’t know what to do with the loneliness that grips him sometimes, who defines himself by his ability to help people, who rarely allows himself to express himself negatively (ex : sadness/anger/frustration) because if there’s one thing that he fears the most, it’s hurting people. Plus, he hasn’t got any trauma or anything so why should he complain, yk?

Basically I love a good flawed James, and the sort of character where you wouldn’t expect him to have issues yk

2. Sirius Black : I mean… cmon do I even need to explain? ‘Cause if I start idk when I’ll stop, like literally. Ive had a crush on this character since I was eleven and never grew out of it, its almost embarrassing if it wasn’t completely justified (and the only reason he’s not number one is just because I write him less than James so I feel like I know him less intimately but like if you’d have asked me before I started writing I’d have put him number one for sure)

3. Regulus Black : !!!!! sorry but indoctrinated younger ���abandoned’ (in between quotes bc he was not Sirius’ responsibility and Sirius was right to save himself but it’s also very normal for regulus to feel that way etc etc… we know the drill) sibling who’s faced with sudden delusion about this superior figure he’s followed/served, everything he’s lost in the process, and who redeems himself by going on this suicide mission that ends up being useless? (And unknown by Sirius AHHHH.) The guy is literally so smart and technically such a loser bc he doesn’t serve much for the plot and that’s what compelled me so much the first time I read hp 😭 he’s so tragic I love it

4. Narcissa Black : younger sibling; once again similar pattern to regulus but she survived, she’s so smart I’m, like, shaky in the knees, (esp i love female characters who do what they have to do to survive), she’s powerful too, and jkr is shit at writing female characters and I will never not be pissed abt it but I do think cissa was very compelling (+ Helen McCrory’s acting game was sooo perfect), very protective of her family and will stop at nothing to protect them, and that’s a value I respect so much. I will say, in general, any member of the black family is very compelling to me. Bellatrix would come right after narcissa in terms of fave from that family.

5. Barty Crouch Jr : listen if you know me, you know I’m… idk how to define myself actually, but I like unhinged stuff so. This is like. Peak unhingedness. Paired with intelligence bc we know canonically that man was smart af, and daddy issues? Dark hair, too? You just described my type. He’s even more compelling in tragic storylines (like past bartylus and barty joining Voldemort for regulus and then faced w the delusion and the grief? Gut wrenching) so yup.

Favorite pairings :

1. Moonshine (remus/james) : I know this sounds weird but a certain fanfic re wrote my brain chemistry and ever since then I’ve been obsessed. I just think they’re so tragically beautiful together. They’re both very selfless beings that just give and give and never prioritize themselves and together it’s a mess. They keep hurting each other because they’re so selfless, they’re not very good at reading each other and they let their insecurities get the best, they’re both frightened of how much they love, of the other not wanting them, of needing to « tame » their emotions. I love them.

2. Prongsfoot : FUCKING FOAMING AT THE MOUTH ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Together they’re. They. Just. I hate them bc of how much I love them if that makes sense. They’re everything. A law of the universe and whatnot. I love everyyyy fucking version of them. They make me cry they make me scream they make me smile they make me laugh, they’re literally my comfort ship.

3. Jegulus : they’re kind of the pairing that made me join the fandom, and though I don’t read them as much as I used to, they’ll always make me so soft. Enemies to lovers? Yeah, well I’m not immune yk. Best friend’s brother? Even better. Tragic and doomed? Yeah sign me the fuck up. I will say I like them just as much when it’s jegulily, but that’s also because I think poly relationships are so complex and compelling.

4. Moonwater : and not platonic haha, i have to say that basically i ship anyone who’s very smart imo with regulus, and Remus passes the test. Plus he’s also introverted, a book nerd, done with James and Sirius so i feel like they could bond very easily. I prefer them in a non canon sitting tho for some reason, but yeah I’m. So fond of them. They get into heated debates. Even their ship name is so dear to me because, that’s like both their biggest fears and pairing them in one name feels like they can overcome them if they’re together ? 😭 it’s so sweet (plus, it allows me to ship prongsfoot on the side lmfao)

5. Regulily : same reasoning as up there but like they’re probs the only het pairings that I really really love. i never expected them to be so important (but *cough cough* disintegration happened…) but honestly they make a lot of sense? I feel like Regulus would be more confident with Lily, and Lily would feel more calm with Regulus? They’re that scary hot powerful quiet couple yk. Anddd they can bond over siblings angst lmao.

[herboretum]

on the topic of minecraft coming back i also feel my shame and cringe coming back too

ive been thinking about that one tiktok from a long time ago, and its general message was that the reason why fandom spaces were and are so toxic is because of regular, ordinary, "not-the-weird-kids" joining said spaces during lockdown, and its kind of been fucking with my perception ever since i watched it because its true

ask me 2-3 years ago what i liked and i couldn't give you an answer out of shame because i enjoyed minecraft smps. i'd be too embarrassed. and yet now i am able to parade that i enjoy a children's game like roblox simply because its what everyone likes now, and it isnt deemed as cringe or "childish" anymore. liking something that was originally perceived as weird is now normalized. its very weird and i hate that it has turned out this way

youd think this would be great for someone like me who cant shut the fuck up about what it likes but surprisingly not. im only really able to talk about my interests openly because i make them vague. anything more specific and i know i'll get judged harshly. i can say i like stuff like drawing, minecraft, roblox, animation, children's shows, whatever, but anything more and it feels shameful. its wild. i kind of miss when there were these sort of internal "cliques" because at least i knew what to expect from like-minded people. now its really a gamble to see if this person i am talking to fws the shit i like, and god forbid they start judging me about it the second i open my mouth

erm anyways yah ramble 4 today .,,,, im only saying this cause im dressing up as a minecrafter for cool awesome halloween and ive been so nervous about how i'll be judged, esp since its a pretty renown character . maybe its bc ive had a bad history with anything minecraft but . idk! i just be worrying and shit ! i need to fucking calm down and remind myself that cringe is dead and i should only focus on having #fun and whimsy .......... yay!!!!

[silverislander]

DND TOMORROW i'm so excited. cal has so much to fucking deal with and consider after last week. to do list

check in with the barbarian, whose wild magic charmed her during an important fight. she didn't have time to process that and it's not the first time he's done it- last time it led to a pvp fight that nearly got her killed. she doesn't understand wild magic and assumes he's either purposefully messing around in her head (EXTREMELY bad) or a magical dunce (still bad but forgivable). either way, she's about to ruin at least some of the progress she's made on their relationship either by verbally berating him or condescending to him over it

make sure the monk is functional if not ok after a massive breakdown, dissociative episode/panic attack and backstory revelation of accidentally killing his entire found family as a child

cal has to start questioning her coping mechanisms as a result of that breakdown- clearly shoving shit down and ignoring it doesn't work. look what it did to him! now what, it's her only coping mechanism other than running away and sabotaging relationships before they hurt her

deal with having told him about one of her greatest shames- getting her old best friends killed/arrested. he wasn't supposed to ever know about that, nobody was. she's just praying it's a "you keep my secret, i keep yours" situation, but the monk has never been good at keeping his mouth shut

deal with how she feels around recognizing that feeling she's been having about monk for months now- it's that she considers him her brother. not an ally or business partner, but someone she would do anything to protect. that scares the actual fuck out of her

... and knowing cal, she is not going to take this well. again, her reaction to love and concern is to try and drive that person as far away as possible by being mean as hell so they can't hurt her when they leave first. she's probably going to get distant and could realistically get mean, but i don't. want to do that. she had an episode where she literally chased the party off of her with a misplaced fear spell, i think she's starting to learn that it doesn't work anymore. i want it to be clear that she is doing this bc she's so fucking scared of the possibility of losing him, too, when she's lost everyone else

i might talk this over in character with the wizard. cal trusts him to give decent advice, even when she doesn't want to listen, so if nothing else he can temper her reaction to the realization

i'm considering referring to monk by the gnomish word for brother as well? only the wizard speaks gnomish, and knowing cal, it's going to come off like an insult if you don't know what it means. could make for some fun drama (ESP if any npcs in the crew know gnomish too) and a little emotional reveal

i want to orient future combat towards trying to protect him as well. not to the exclusion of the rest of the party, of course, but she is going to give priority to him in terms of healing/defense when she can. she might've gotten her last family killed due to carelessness, but she will be damned if it happens twice

[weebsinstash]

(feel free to ignore cause this is long, i just have too many thoughts on remarried empress)

Tbh Rashta might have had good intentions (although YEAH it is pretty fucking dense of her to think Navier would be cool with her husband bringing in a mistress and she is expected to just deal with it). She enviosioned a perfect life where she has a lover and his wife is cool with it, and (which I personally think is delusional even for her) pampers her as well. Like not only did she want the security from Sovieshu, she wanted affection from Navier too like?? Girl??

But she genuinely becomes such a manipulative hypocrite. She is used to crying to get her way, but when the hired mother does the same thing, she thinks its annoying how someone is turning on the waterworks to get what they want. And when the possibility of Sovieshu bringing in another mistress is brought up to her, she dislikes it as well. Honestly, it's not unreasonable for someone in her position to grab the opportunity of being a mistress to an actual emperor, but the way she starts behaving after coming into the castle, antagonizing Navier, being clueless about why someone's wife doesn't want to be buddies with you (the "we are sisters cause we have the same husband!! :D" pissed me off so much), ripping the bird's feathers and saying "why is the Empress making me act like this, if only she liked me :(" to put make Navier seem bad... The list goes on.

She is a great villain though, and sometimes I feel really bad when Sovieshu makes it really clear he doesn't actually love her and is just like a pet he has fun with. Like when he took a look at her pregnant belly and thought to himself it would have been better if Navier was the one pregnant. Ouch. And also, how he becomes colder, more distant to Rashta as the chapters go on, esp. when she starts learning things and needing to rely on him less (like reading). She is there to be available, pretty, dumb and a cheerful presence to his ego. He thinks she is stupid and he likes it that way.

Dare I say, if Navier could get pregnant by him, Rashta and her kid would be pretty much screwed.

What I like about the Remarried Empress is how complex the characters are. You can understand their perspectives, both Rashta's and Sovieshu's, but I can't sympathyze with Rashta despite her valid reasons and background and Sovieshu is straight up trash.

Also to this day I do not understand why Sovieshu didn't tell Navier of his plan of remarrying. It would still be shit, but the fact he wanted to dump her and expect her to wait in the dark for a whole year when she doesnt even know about the plan and come at his beck and call when he wanted to marry her again? Dumb move on his part.

Honestly if Rashta hadn't tried to basically try and force Navier to like her and begin following her and trying to copy her and literally trying to get Sovieshu to make Navier like her, things probably would have worked out extremely differently? I guess Rashta thought she NEEDED Navier's approval, but is it because she needs people to like her or because she felt her new position was threatened?

There's also just tons of unnecessary shit she tried to do to bother Navier on purpose that was totally uncalled for, like trying to pretend she was the prince's pen pal? Or assuming Navier is the one spreading "rumors" about her being a slave when bitch no your own slave master literally shouted it in a room of people, you don't "suppress" word of mouth.

Also you know something I think is going to come up again was, wasn't Sovieshu beginning to eye the child mage Navier was sponsoring and acting like he was tempted to adopt her for her to be "his and Navier's" child? This motherfucker better not kidnap a child just to try and manipulate Navier into running back to him. I also wonder what the issue with the magic disappearing is because I have a theory it is being physically stolen or drained out of the mages and it has a connection to that necklace that was given to the child mage which, wasn't Duke Elgy holding one of those and appearing to let some kind of light out of it? Sussy sussy

Man Rashta did so much ignorant shit it's hard to remember it all, although I found a lot of her reactions very real and I give props to the author. Like when she is given a piece of her baby's hair and she fell asleep with it laying out and she got mad Sovieshu saw it, so she threw it on the floor and then had immediate guilt? That's such a human reaction. She's mad "at the hair" for causing disruption between her and Sovieshu and potentially ruining her safety but she immediately feels ashamed because that's still her baby's hair

It was honestly kind of sad to see her tell Alan she has no interest in meeting her son because I believe she truly wants to but has now gone down the path where she is leaving her child behind if he will jeopardize the safety of her future and of her new baby's future which, you know is definitely another step down her wannabe villainess character arc

I know certain future spoilers because people in comments sections can never spoiler warning their shit and I gotta say, Navier was right, Rashta IS quite the schemer, although it is ever so satisfying to watch her fail. Like lmao she finally got married to Sovieshu and dumb bitch ruined her wedding dress! He even told her it looked ugly and to get changed! AND NOT A SINGLE NOBLE IN THE ENTIRE KINGDOM SENT HER A WEDDING GIFT LIKE GET FUCKED. Not one single person was willing to try and suck up to her. She became Empress in name only and it is very clear the nobles, for lack of a nice phrasing, basically just consider her a lowly man stealing whore. Shattered her delusion of her fancy new noble life to PIECES. Girl NO ONE likes you and the one servant who WAS extremely loyal to you, you cut out her fucking tongue because she had a minor crush on Sovieshu! Bitch won't even keep her allies safe anymore!

Also like +500 douche points for Sovieshu for suddenly shoving her into the deep end on trying to learn when he was running around fucking her but couldn't be bothered to TEACH HER HOW TO READ? Why wouldn't he, as a decent human being, even if he wasn't infatuated with her, if he was so concerned for her well being and life, why didn't he try to teach her ANYTHING until it was time for Rashta to basically become a tool for him? She barely knew how to fucking read and he was wanting her to memorize entire textbooks in a single day??? What the fuck dude??? That's beyond tough love you are asking the impossible and then bullying her for not learning quick enough when this whole thing was your fucking idea? Absolutely busted ass man. He just ruins everyone around him.

It is like legitimately a horror story that if Navier hadn't made the preparations to remarry right then and there after her divorce that Sovieshu 100% would have had all authority to lock her up in his manor and force her to stay by his side and wouldn't let her remarry. Like, even when the high priest approves Navier's remarriage this motherfucker starts having people dig through textbooks on how they can overturn the legal precedent? And he STILL tries to keep her locked up to the point she has to literally escspe? Gee if only he had put that much information into being a decent fucking human being. Absolutely garbage man. I want to see him absolutely fucking ruined. Also like, dead on Rashta is like a plaything for him. Jesus even when she started to read and become more well learned, THEN he commented on how "oh I missed the way you used to talk"? Aka her talking like a kid and referring to herself on the third person? You miss the way she used to talk before she started becoming acruslly educated as part of YOUR plan? Youre in love with the innocence that sees you as God, not even the person behind the admiration, like, God I can't wait until Navier's new wedding and he has to face reality that she is officially another man's wife. It'll break him and it'll be so tasty tasty

[ashtraythief]

2!!!!! The wedding is Underneath comes to min, for one!

For the writer ask game

2. talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, here’s what we’re actually doing.��

Oh yeah absolutely. Jensen in the underneath verse. He's such a little shit, I swear. No wedding I said. Someone even asked me and said a wedding would be great and I was like lol no. Like what would be the point for either Jensen or Campbell and also I don't want to write a wedding. I am not a wedding person. I never fantasized about weddings when I was younger. Being a maid of honor and organizing wedding related stuff for friends is just so stressful. So no weddings in writing where I can avoid them. And I swear to everything, I was happily torturing Jensen with almost killing Jared and having him freak out and realize how deep he was in and I just wanted like an emotional moment and he opens his fucking mouth and I swear it was like my hands were possessed and just typed out the question. And I stopped and took a beat and wrote down what was he doing, I was literally making my character ask himself what the fuck he was thinking and he just fucking doubled down. And I just stared at the screen. Aghast. I honestly tried to rewrite it, and it didn't work. And then. The absolute worst thing happened. It started making sense. The fucker was actually not wrong. And make no mistake, technically, I could have deleted it and moved on without the wedding (it took me eight months to write that fucking wedding and that was back when I was writing much faster and much more regularly), but Jensen just dug his heels in and said no, I want to do this. And I gave up.

Thankfully I never had another instance like this again, though I've had other stubborn moments. Jared's currently being the difficult one lol, but we're getting there I think. Most roadblocks in writing is just my muse going on strike or myself being dumb and writing myself into a corner, but underneath Jared and esp Jensen are the bane of my fucking existence. Sometimes I think they're taking their revenge because I torture them so much, but that would be crazy, right. Right?

[foeofcolor]

I posted 15,256 times in 2022

That's 6,850 more posts than 2021!

585 posts created (4%)

14,671 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@/ tonysopranobignaturals

@/ nyxqueen97

@/ foeofcolor

@/ milfzatannaz

@/ bobbimorses

I tagged 2,781 of my posts in 2022

#reblog - 629 posts

#personal shit tm - 530 posts

#616 verse - 121 posts

#ace attorney - 113 posts

#616 clint - 113 posts

#goncharov - 78 posts

#asks - 59 posts

#dc - 54 posts

#superman - 45 posts

#clark kent - 41 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#" you are unhinged but you are free. go put that dirt in your mouth! go eat that bug! go roll around in that mud! go press that bright shiny

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

3,122 notes - Posted January 2, 2022

#4

3,151 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

#3

if i had to pick a vilgante city to be in, i'd rather it be star city over gotham because not only do the bats have awful villians, the entire damn city gets involved in their family drama. imagine ur trying to sleep and fucking batman and red hood are screaming on the roof about the joker. or like one of the robins is having temper tantrum. or fucking batman is making out with a rogue. the arrows at least arent completely nocturnal. 

7,955 notes - Posted June 26, 2022

#2

Metropolis, on average, is likely to have much higher than average rent than Gotham. Reporters, non tv ones esp., don’t get paid that much these days with the gradual decline of print media. Probably lower than average for someone aiming to keep a low profile.

My point is, that rent in metropolis sucks ass and Clark just starting at the daily planet and running off to be superman all the time, is just. having an awful fucking time, because to be superman he can’t have roommates. He probably ends up doing some part time jobs with odd hours to keep his secret.

And most people also don’t know that superman HAS a secret identity in the early days and think he just. full time lives at the north pole.

So when the jla starts, no one KNOWS he has secret identity and Clark isn’t particularly keen on exposing it so he just. keeps coming up with bullshit ass excuses why he is randomly offline sometimes.

FLASH : Hey supes, why weren’t you at the meeting yesterday-

GREEN LANTERN : Got a hot date?

CLARK : I was, uh. Preparing for my hibernation.

 AQUAMAN : Your fucking WHAT

MARTIAN MANHUNTER, FULLY AWARE THAT CLARK IS MAKING BULLSHIT UP : Many species do such things-

FLASH : Alien species??

WONDER WOMAN, ASLO AWARE THAT HE’S LYING : Flash, Kal is also an alien, no matter how similar to humans he may look.

WONDER WOMAN : Kal, If there is anything we can do to assist-

CLARK : No, No, No it’s, it’s fine, it’s not a big deal-

BATMAN, AWARE OF HIS SECRET IDENTITY : It IS a big deal, superman. If one of our strongest is to be out of commission for an extended period of time-

CLARK : Oh, I won’t- We, we do it in shifts.

WONDER WOMAN : Is that so, Kal?

CLARK : Yeah, h. haha. 

Smash cut to a few years later-

KARA : YOU TOLD THEM WE DO WHAT

CLARK : I PANICKED OK?

Diana and Bruce never let him live this down btw.

10,048 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

the spn guy being bi is great because it means he was playing one of the biggest queerbait ship of the decade while, actually, being queer. funniest shit ever i hope hes THRIVING

EDIT : HES NOT EVEN BI, HE RLLY JUST SAID ONLY LAST QUEERBAIT GKFMFJDLDN???? IS THIS WHAT ITS LIKE TO WATCH SPN

14,194 notes - Posted April 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[hislittleraincloud]

No hate at all but please tell me what's up with your deep hatred for Jenna. What did she say about Miller's girl that was so bad??

"Deep hatred"? I wouldn't say it's deep hatred. I've always said it was/is a love/hate. I can't truly hate something/someone who brought me back into writing. (So if she out there readin' (LOL), I don't hate you, Mama...you just annoy the crap out of me sometimes.)

Regarding Miller's Girl, that post I clipped of her talking about it annoys me, since she says she'd never read any character like Cairo before. You know, Cairo being a brilliant, ahead-of-everyone-around-her teen writer with a bigger vocabulary than her peers who lives in a big haunted mansion and who hates crowds.

Nah, she never read any character like that before.

I get it, she isn't about to compare the two roles because press promo for MG could never. But some of the stuff that comes out of her mouth is vapid as all Hell, like talking as if college/education prospects are a million miles behind her ("I really wanted to go, I tried for a minute!" both Elle and Jenna acting like Jenna's 50 years old and the capability to go to college just eludes her...she was 20 when she gave that interview 💀). I have very low level of respect for those who don't think they can go get an education while they're living the celebrity life; if Emma Watson could do it, so can she, if she really wants to. But she doesn't, so 🤷🏽‍♂️

The bar goes even lower when I read how strongly of a Jesus Beater she is from her book. The indoctrination is thick with this one, but that's how it typically is with the religious Mexicans (I know, because I have them in my family) and you have to be sharp to escape the cultural programming. My 81yo father broke away 70 years ago after discovering science, and after thinking for himself (and after witnessing the priests going after the Pretty Choir Boys in his church). I could talk a long time about this aspect, but it's a touchy subject for me and one that involves lots of fucking [religious] trauma, none of which has anything to do with my parents/family (just girls who were so frighteningly indoctrinated that common sense was non-existent in their brains, and it upended my life for the worse each time). However, she was 18 and still relatively insulated when she published that book. So maybe time will tell. Doubtful, given how ingrained it is w/her fam, but one never knows, esp. in Hollyweird. Something in her changed though, I've noticed, from 18 to now. �� Now that I've kind of sort of 'caught up' some on her as an actress, because prior to me hearing of her casting for Wednesday, I didn't know who she was. I still didn't know after I watched the show in January '23 (I was convinced to, by the friend I have who is now missing). And when I found out she was that chick from the Babysitter 2, I was all, "No way, I thought she was the worst!" I kept hoping her character would get dispatched 💀🤣. I had to see if I was missing something, since her fanbase is a really weird soup of young lesbians and old cishet guys sharing half-naked AI pics of her using her 15-year-old face on Facebook. It fascinates me that those are her biggest, drooliest fans. I like "weird" shit, and this is def weird shit to me.)

I will give her this: She did admit that her accent work is bad. But when Elle Fanning said it wouldn't be if she had a dialogue coach, she didn't have much of a response. I have much more respect for the Fannings. Hell, I just watched Elle in Benjamin Button again (I love that movie). That...was a child star. He accent was on point, she was adorable in it as Young Daisy 🥰🤩. But anyway.

No deep hatred. Deep annoyance. Disney has been annoying me since before its broad integration into regular households, so it makes sense. I don't care for Disney, celebrity, or religious culture, all things she's deeply steeped in, and yes, it's very irritating to have a muse that's the complete opposite of what you stand for.

But inspiration does not have a type. She's a cunning shapeshifter, and she can still sit on your shoulder some moreso than others, ha and whisper sweet nothings in your ear until you've got no choice but to write them down. I suppose I was conditioned in a way to be able to keep separate the actor from the role, so if you ask me, "Hey, are you attracted to her?" the answer would be, "No, I'm attracted to her characters." Except for that stupid bitch in X. God what a dumbass. And not in a mere sexual sense, but in more of a self-identification, since I was always (and still am, apparently) the outcast.

I've also always been a huge fan of Ricci's Wednesday, so of course I'd be interested in this iteration. I might have been interested to see any young actress try to tackle Wednesday. We just happened to get her. I'm too curious/too invested in this shit now that I want to see what she's going to do in S2.

And why do I feel like that movie with Percy is also going to be, like Miller's Girl, a flop? If she really wants to stretch her acting, she needs a period piece of some sort. Get her out of her human form and into something completely alien to her, force her to act. Even if it meant a 'soft'/unserious 'period piece' like say...Pirates.

Does that make sense? If not, remember what day it is, kids...Happy 4/20🌿

[castle-dominion]

castle 7x4 child's play

the kindergarten episode liveblog

Sunset not a place where kids come out of the woodworks... Just idles into a wall with the music still on there was someone in there!?!? who was alive? I assumed there would just be one dead guy!

Ice cream. I always love the parallels that they put in this show *grips alexis in shock* Potato chip fudge <3 I love these folks this family this is so sweet Gram & I have it covered! *gram makes a face* but u should clean if they cooked, esp if you need a break before dessert RC: They are glad to have me back. And if fussing over me makes them happy – (he drops his voice) - enjoy it. Like you ought to be enjoying this potato chip fudge ice cream sundae. It’s got that whole salty/sweet thing going on. It’s just – just like me. xd just like me HE ANSWERS HER PHONE WHEN HER MOUTH IS FULL

RC: no kids lining up to buy Bomb Pops around here Me: yeah this is the neighbourhood where they buy bombs Oh no poor dad! Right, first gear.

I made a bunch of ukrainian friends yesterday, or a few ago. They drink like you wouldn't believe. The issue is, I don't speak ukranian so I couldn't play charades very well. Except for footsoccer which I called soccer & they called football, instead of handsoccer which I call football & they call soccer. These folks are from abkhazia tho.

Ooh graphic design.

rysposito matching outfits. nice set design Ryan going off to the station my man's stuff all gone Love ryan's tie btw

Wow his eyes are so blue Oh no it was a kid! Today's date

Castle chewing gum *grabs the toy off his desk* point for the adhd headcanon except adhders like me would NOT solve a puzzle,, ever. I'm too dumb for that. (some adhders would be great at it tho.) I like the youth officer's badge & character design *talking about him w/o realizing*

KB: So … basically we’re looking for someone who won’t intimidate them. An adult presence, in the classroom, that eight year olds will view as a peer. Someone that they can consider one of their own?

KB: Thank you, Mrs. Ruiz, for letting Castle spend time in your classroom. Leslie Ruiz: I wasn’t given much of a choice. KB: Well, then we apologize for the imposition. RC: Yes, but being 90% kid myself I have an ability to get into the minds of children. LR: Have you ever been in a room with twenty second graders, Mr. Castle? Me: yeah when I was one of the second graders

I thought it was haffe not djaffe

The quiet voice of a teacher. Wow very second grader of him. rude. Wow same kid rude. It's a good trope, adult having beef with some random kid. Castle kid moments *making faces* he started it *getting in trouble* it really solidifies his "just another kid" position Except for you at the end you're looking at the wall

the girl withthe tea party

Outfits my beloved. Killer was looking for smth. the field trip form!

these eight year olds have better hand writing than me holy-. Juicebox "feel free to use my desk" it's the only adult sized place there is

L Ruiz: That’s not it, Mr. Castle. These are kids and it’s my job to protect them. Even from people who mean well. thank her for the juice.

Where is ryan? we have especkett Ooh this would be a good point for ryan to jump in with a fac-- or not. Or yes! There he is & HOLY CRAP THAT VEST & HOLY CRAP THOSE EYES I AM TURNING A LITTLE BIT GAY

that's green?

yes but in this story the giant had a gun. Castle gets to play in the dirt at recess I love it giving information aaaand it's a movie. *covered in grass* & the little shit is back. He reminds me of the kid on my bus who I hated so much I transferred schools. But I wasn't allowed to hate him bc his parents died (& that's probably why he was so messed up ig...) *takes a picture* Even the kid he was playing with is laughing. I mean getting bullied will also solidify the idea that you are on the same level as these kids.

Dead drop, just like every other time we get a po box or safe deposit box. Russian accent or generally slavic? Where is ryan? I mean I LOVE especkett but where ryan? (the way esposito holds open the door hhh I wish I had better hands... men's hands, & then look at his posture)

Castle *getting beat up by children* I love it. & his full body gestures as he talks to bekcett Ok but if you stad stil you'll be fine, all the kids who were jumping would fall. & besides you need a lot more marbles than you think, it's like floor curling wax. What a thud! Emily!!! Emily helping him! She is opening up--NOOOOO HSDHUFIHFDSKLJ Typical teens.

AC: Where do you think you’re going? RC: Um … second grade? AC: Not without finishing your breakfast. She rushes toward him with a sack lunch and a forkful of breakfast. RC: I ate most of it and I just – I’m late. AC: Come on, Dad. Just one more bite. She holds the fork out to him. RC: Alexis, I do not have time – She forces the fork into his mouth. BECKETT tries to hide her laugh. I should clip. AC: Now, don’t forget your lunch. RC: takes it slowly, chewing. He grabs BECKETT’S arm and drags her to the door. RC: Okay, you’re right. It’s weird. I’ll talk to her.

I like how castle doesn't just go along with whatever she says, but takes it sideways. he was drinking tea, she offered sugar, he decided Yes And, it is not sugar but low glucose index fairy dust. Esposito would so make fun of him for looking like this but ryan would totally understand. One princess to another! jhdfjskdsfdlkjfjlk Jason >:( Castle giving good dad advice. RC: Emily, do you know why people do mean things? (EMILY shakes her head) Because it makes them feel strong. Really though, you and me? We’re the strong ones. We just keep our strength inside. So sometimes we forget it’s there. Emily: Like sometimes I forget I have gum in my pocket. RC: Exactly

Mrs ruiz was able to hear that lol Girl power! Oh jason's parents.. yeah jason is a bully bc jason is a bully. yes! Yes I have made progress! I've eliminated two & I'm building trust! & also they should just,,, check to see who has their permission slips in their backpacks or handed them in. That would narrow the pool by at least a couple students.

Where are their computers? I don't like ryan's 'fit. Do like how he's taken over the desk across from beckett tho. Every time I hear jaffe I hear readwrite chrome reading me fanfictioin where it says javier like ha-vee-erre (not jav-yed like I say it) & it says dja-vi not hah-vee

dun dun dun bratva

wikipedia: Abkhazia is located in the western Caucasus, on the eastern coast of the Black Sea. On the north, it borders the Russian Federation, on the east Georgia's Samegrelo-Zemo Svaneti region.

that country has like, a quarter of the mount of ppl in the city...

Clear? clear? ryan thigh holster yucky yuckly. At least he died on the tarp.

Oof you can hear she still is smelling it. Get some vapo rub on yo nose babe. Esposito eyeliner moments. (also wearing thigh holster.) sounds like a bad joke: Why kill a mob enforcer, an ice cream man, and a retired cop?

Oh all the goodbyes I love it! "I'm always in trouble!"

He got upgraded to leslie!!!

Ooh beckett looks good, those girls? in that denim? Mm! I'm turning from a kevin ryan lesbian to a kate beckett lesbian here. (*is not even a real girl*) Passport forgery? ryan is smart! the graphic design stuff! Caslte didn't sound right...

Castle is back "are you two married?"

OH NO IT IS THE KID WITH BEEF!!! He's a jerk-face! Both his parents were lawyers. Using the beef to pressure him.

not again! another one who wasn't there!

Oh but it was his sister. Was she small enough to fit in the ice cream place?

oh NO IT WAS NATALIE BARNES (also wow different dads is right)

Ah yes immigration.

NB: Anton’s route covered Brighton Beach. And there were a lot of Russians there. And he’d seen so many of them come here with the promise of a job and then their papers would be taken and they’d be forced to work in sweatshops or – or worse and Anton was trying to get them back home. NB: Well, Anton heard that Jaffe had a connection that could get blank passports, and Jaffe worked Brighton Beach as a cop, so he knew what was going on and – and he was sympathetic to the immigrants. KB: And you were the one with the high-tech design software. That’s why Anton took your class.

My man is being forced into making a passport for the guy who tried to kill him!?

It must hurt to watch & not be able to do anything.

Yeah man she needed the information to make him a passport

Bring your vests! Or not!

wait NO NOT THE CAMERA CASE *pans down to polkovnik*

*holds up hoto* *puts down photo* *face stays* Ooh the music!

Ooh the marbles!

KB: u ok? RC: Yeah. I’ve taken worse. In this classroom, as a matter of fact. (compared to getting beat up by a murderer & militia leader who is wanted for war crimes in the region between georgia & russia as well as three related homicides in new york)

Truce? truce. *both put signs on each other's backs*

MRS RUIZ GETS A MEDAL I'M SO PROUD OF HER. you're with second graders & you call castle a challenge! *making faces* Beckett's reaction lol

Remember when you did the same to her? Maybe let her leave the gps on. But don't let her check it.

*rolls in on a scooter* girl idk if aggravating her is a good idea She's so pretty & grown up. RC: I would feel the same way. Matter of fact, I did. AC: After paris

AC: Being an adult really sucks. Me: I'll drink to that bro Ice cream? How about pixzza.

get it from the nicks!

It's geetting late & I have a job interview tmrw.

Here's the plan: I'll wake up on like 4.5h of sleep, take a shower or maybe a bath so I can really scrub, wear my towel while I print off my letters & signed form thing & time sheet & all the stuff on the virtual classroom, & then I'll get dressed & pack my stuff & grab my bike & go... except idk if there will be a place to store my bike so I'll just bus. Let's say I have my interview at 11.00, the bus only gets there every however many minutes so I'll get there by 10.30, it's abt 45 mins & I need to leave the house at about 9.45, let's say it takes me 10m to get my shoes on (& stop whatever I'm doing & put on my binder) except let's round up to 15 bc then it's 9.30 which is a nicer number, 1h to get dressed & pack my backpack, 1h to print off my stuff & put it in my backpack & wait to dry off, 1h to wash, so that's 6.30 I need to wake up. (the waking up time & heating up the water won't take too long so I'm including it in the bath time, which is whyI am so so overestimating these numbers. I'm including more than I say.)

Wow for someone with as poor time management as me I would need to wake up at 6.30 for an interview at 11... holy crap. I'm broken my dudes.

[storiesofsvu2-0]

l & o thursday

Okay…. Happy Thursday. Y’all know the drill.

Also yay city tv for airing these in the wrong order as per usual… I don’t know how much of a 2 parter svu and oc are but we’re getting oc first here…

Ah. Yes. Okay. They are completely and totally related and im getting part 2 first. Love that. Why is citytv like this?

Are we just jumping into this without addressing the Kathy hallucination or whatever that was? Seriously?

Ah! Okay, here we go. Thank you.

Ugh god. Elliot just get over your manchild bullshit already. im sick of it

Elliot reacting like that over Oscar papa… homeboy clearly doesn’t know about William lewis…

k… I lowkey trust bell talking with the perp but like… her lawyer is there, she’s lawyered up… any ada on svu would be having a field day right now… like… these are two cops. They can’t be making deals. Just cause they say they wont press charges or whatever the da might still have to…

man… I adore Ayanna so fucking much. I also love how little she holds back facial expressions, like… same girl… same…

bruh… if you thought this was a JOKE why would you put down FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS?!

Bobby and his sandwich LOOOLL.

“it’s attempted murder not the express checkout line.” Yup. Bell has the best one liners.

This episode is giving major criminal minds vibes. And then amanda is going to be brought in as a “profiler” like… cmon… (also I don’t even wanna talk about that… like…her being a professor is already ridiculous. But to also be a profiler? Like… sure she’s smart and has a forensics degree but she aint that smart…she would be a terrible profiler…)

They’re STILL making fast and furious movies?! Jfc.

“carisi can’t keep his mouth shut” and “she left me a message” ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Like, those two were BESTIES, and you’re telling me they wouldn’t actually keep in touch?! Esp over something like this? Like noah, billie and jessie had play dates all the time, they hungout together, carisi still works with liv. This is so fucking dumb. Like… yes I get it, if you leave a job you start another one and might not keep up with the people you used to from the previous ones, but the ones who really mean something keep in touch. This is something that drives me INSANE about tv shows cause a cast member will leave and it’s as if the characters will NEVER see each other again. I get it, sometimes the actors can’t come back or don’t want to, but like… a mention here or there, a sense of reality?? It’s no wonder Liv is always alone and mopey over shit. Life is a two way street ma’am, if you keep shutting out people who “leave” you then guess what? You’re not gonna have anyone left! (still don’t condone Elliot’s behaviour but like… we don’t’ care about him here)

Mothership:

“you’re bleeding.” “yeah… bullets’ll do that to you” *proceeds to collapse*

So naturally I was not paying that much attention, but why tf did they only charge him with one count of murder? He should have also been charged with attempted murder of the other girl and attempted murder/assault of a police officer?

Anyway. Now it’s svu time. Bring me my bebes.

Jesus that’s fucking terrifying. Could you imagine coming across that on a run?! Jesus.

Carisi was so friggin cute when he spilt the beans to liv, fucking adorable.

I got distracted making gifs. Oops.

Loving muncy and churlish partnered up, their banter and shit is good, I accept

Liv being all “doesn’t everyone in staten island know each other” and carisi pulling her chain is hilarious

Omg these girls are both like fucking 5 foot nothing and 90lbs and elias is a giant this is not gonna end well…

Thank god churlish kept the gun on him, smart girl.

Okay I think some of this is less intriguing to me because ive already seen OC

Oh god..joe is yelling… im turned on…

They literally put muncy in a plaid shirt that has the bisexual flag colours on it… COME ON.

HOLY SHIT. Christ. I KNEW SOMETHING LIKE THAT WAS COMING. Muncy needs a hug, and probably some therapy…

I absolutely do not want Velasco and muncy together. That being said. I would adore muncy and churlish or Velasco and churlish.. but I cant decide which one I like more…

Welp, that’s it for tonight. Maybe see you next week.

[two-red-lungs]

I haven't watched lost boys in 100 years but as a kid I had dreams about Alex winters character and his beautiful hair. Do you have any headcanons for him?

I LITERALLY HAVE SO MANY MARKO HEADCANONS YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW OKAY LISTEN HERE THEY ARE

TLB Marko Headcanons (SFW):

Just like all the other gang members, he's a psychopathic adrenaline junkie with impulse issues but that surprises literally nobody

WAY more feral/animalistic than his blood-brothers. He'll bite people even when he doesn't need to feed. He just likes doing it for funsies and to see their reaction and fear/upset

Loves to catch/control things. People for hunting, but animals for fun

By this mean I mean he literally GRABS pigeons and crows and rats just to watch them squirm before letting them go. One time he caught an owl and ran into the lobby with this great big flapping nightmare in his hands, scratching the shit out of him, to show it off

The boys enjoy a good hunt. But Marko and Dwayne extra enjoy it. Like, too much

He cackles. Over everything. This isn't a man this is a hyena

For such a defensive, quick-to-anger, competitive, fucked-up little guy, he has a surprisingly dependable and amical relationship w/ Paul. Like, they are best best friends. If push comes to shove it's them against the world

He's Italian. I'll fucking DIE on this hill. A bit of a brat, and a beauty, always used to getting what he wants? This dude was a highly sought-after High Renaissance model in Florence (esp. considering the beauty standard in art at that time was youthful athleticism)

CAN and WILL cuss you out in Italian like a little blonde mobster, even while he's getting hauled away by Paul for Starting Shit

Short fuse. Bad temper. Again, brat.

He won't stop putting stuff in his mouth. Remember the biting thing? It doesn't just extend to people who annoy him. He'll bite on coins, the hems of his gloves, his nails. Bottlecaps and chopsticks, too

Is similar to Paul in the sense that he's gross. Real nasty man. He dropped a piece of orange chicken on the sandy boardwalk? Oh yeah. That's getting eating 100%

Marko comes off as the most overtly inhuman. In the animalistic way he moves, his little feral grins, the way he very obviously eyes people up. His aura is... weird. It's good that the other boys are there honestly bc alone he'd creep people out

That jacket is literally the prized piece of his collection. It reeks and he wears it every night: he's been adding shit onto it since he got it in the 50s, and by "adding shit" I mean "asking Dwayne to do it" because he's shit with a needle

His favorite places on the boardwalk itself: The arcade w/ Paul, the rollercoaster (he likes to stare at the people in front of him and make them uneasy), and the crowded beach (he roams between the bonfires, flirting and being a menacing little shit in equal portions)

Enjoys being a center of focus/attention, but often doesn't get to do it because he's part of a pack now, and David leads

Speaking of David, if anyone else told him to do something??? Marko would be like "literally fucking bite me, I'm not doing that" but if David tells him to jump he'll say "how high?"

I think he views David as the reason why he has brotherhood (and also looks up to the collected, dark, casual aura David has because he's got such a short fuse himself)

Real talk??? Genuinely??? Probably the vampire you would LEAST want to run into alone. You'd die. Probably with the others, too, but with him there is zero chance to negotiate. He will not listen.

If he has a target, he hunts it, and nothing you can say will change his mind.

I hope these resonate with you guys, I think about Marko all the time (✿◠‿◠) he is a terrible little lad. If anyone wants headcanons for the other boys lemme know and I'll write them!

[lovemeian]

you try the old ‘grab and jiggle’, bakusquad edition.

characters ! bakugo katsuki, kirishima eijiro, denki kaminari, sero hanta x gn!reader

it’s hard to pick and choose characters for these, esp when there’s a lot, so i’m going for squads right now hehe + highly suggestive, fluff, humour + i write profanity on the daily, but yk + not doing mina for now bc i can only do four lmao save me + use of the word: molested as a joke in kiri’s !

masterlist ; ko-fi ; might do the dekuquad next, but give me four more characters to play around with hshs

It’s called the old ‘grab and jiggle’ for a reason.

—BAKUGO KATSUKI

please. you expected and daydreamed of the kind of outburst this will cause, and the anticipation almost ruins the entire thing as you try to contain your excitement as soon as you found the perfect day for it.

when bakugo comes home from his weekly training with the others, grumbling about some new pro-heroes still trying to find their rhythm and hitting each other more than their practiced ‘villains’, he’s sweaty and complaining, and his butt had never looked more beautiful tightly encompassed in athletic shorts.

his glutes are hugged so prettily, and his thighs have never looked more appealing. if you didn’t have a prank prepared, you would be too busy salivating at your delicious significant other.

you near him, as casual as you can. he turns to you briefly as he shakes his protein pack. “we probably won’t have dinner tomorrow,” he grumbles, going at the week’s schedule in his head. “we’re gonna have to train the new recruits more, seeing as they can’t fuc— hey!”

bakugo’s reactionary movement is fast— he’s a pro-hero after all — and as soon as your hand sneaked up, grabbed a handful of his butt, and jiggled it— you knew you were setting yourself up to get caught as a speed of lightning, he was turned to you, eyes wild and wide, face flushed red, holding your wrist in a death grip.

his mouth was gaping as you tried to bite your laughter. “what the fuck are you doing?”

“the old grab and jiggle?”

“the— what the fuck is the old grab and jiggle?”

you blink innocently. “want me to show you again?”

“n-no! that’s enough! who the fuck’s teaching you these things?” his eyes narrow, tugging you close. “is it shitty hair?” 

“no.” you giggled. “found it myself, wanted to see how thick my lover is.” you winked at him and his scowl twitched, face burning brighter, before he clenches his jaw.

“give me your butt.”

you squealed at his slow approach, backing away at the determined look in his gaze. “no! katsuki—”

“give me your butt!”

excuse to all your neighbours with the most random of screeches and threatening demands of ‘grabbing your butt and jiggling the shit out of it’, but they’re used to you. especially when he catches you— because of course he does — and you explode in laughter.

—KIRISHIMA EIJIRO

on god, pro-hero kirishima has the juiciest butt you cannot change my mind.

you had almost, actually forgotten about your fun little plan until kiri decided he wanted to make use of the very nice veranda right beside the living room for his workout, giving you a little kiss as he set off on working out on the nice patio with the glass doors open for the refreshing spring day to come in.

but when he started doing lunges, going forward and stretching those workout shorts so snugly against his very beautiful thighs and derrière— apart from salivating for a good minute, you remember the little prank that has your fingers itching.

so when he switches to squats, you move like a cat.

conspicuous and too aware of every little movement, you’re a little thankful that his workout playlist is loud, and he’s very much in the zone, huffing quietly and and even humming as he bent those very nice thighs of his.

with a light sheen of sweat and his bright red hair pulled with a headband, you try and contain your giggles as you crept forward, one arm already outstretched toward the source of what looks like gold.

you know you can’t be quiet for too long. your boyfriend, after all, was a pro hero with very good skills, already turning toward your practically soundless approach with a nice smile.

“hey, y/n—”

you strike quick and you strike good, his entire body too preoccupied with stationing the position to stop the hand the darted out to grab a handful of one cheek and make it jiggle.

your kiri is so startled that he yelped, jumped, and fell on his chin.

“ow.”

“oh my god.” your panic is startled by your own snort, moving toward him immediately to catch him turn, still sweaty and more shocked than hurt, as he grabbed his very red chin. your amusement couldn’t die down, even in guilt. “i’m so sorry, baby! that’s—” then you burst out laughing.

despite his watery eyes and confusion, he laughs with you. he pulls you close, already technically on top of him, adjusting as you catch your breath in between wheezes.

as you rest your head on his neck, his deep rumble of, “should i be concerned that i’m going to get molested in my own house now?”

you smack his chest.

“ow, i’m not kidding, actually.”

you pull back, pouting, face flushed from laughing so much that he leans forward to kiss your chin. “it was a joke, you know. plus, you have very good glutes.”

his hands gloss over your back, before he grabs a lot of your own butt’s meat, making you shriek as he squeezes. he smirks. “you have very good glutes too, baby.”

—HUSBAND!DENKI KAMINARI

kaminari would never think you’d do this.

for one, he had more of juicy thighs than arse, and second, he was getting ready for a hero gala, adjusting his suit against the floor length mirror whilst you went to the kitchen to take some water.

you had gone with him a few times, but it really wasn’t your scene. after greeting familiar faces and meeting new ones, a few tossed champagnes and dancing a little with your husband if it was part of the evening, there really isn’t much to

you were so focused on how much the suit was doing wonders for your husband, practically drooling against the water on your lips, that you don’t notice him ask you something. until he repeated it. again. and again. and he finally turned, eyebrow arched to check what you’ve been doing, not hearing him.

“—love!”

water practically dipped forward on your chin as you awoke from staring at your husband. “y-yeah?”

he smirked, snorting softly as he walked toward you.

he looked so good, his hair pushed back to one side, the years of being a pro-hero settling so nicely on him.

“are you okay, love?”

you set the glass down, blushing as he put one hand on your waist and another on your chin, wiping your mouth with a little smile. 

“what’s going on in your little head, hm?”

you sighed, leaning into his touch to rest your head on his chest, winding your arms around his torso. his warmth felt so good and nice, and he was so very built against his suit, feeling his dips and ridges.

“you just looked so delicious.”

you felt his laughter rumble against your own body, squeezing you in the comforting little hug and humming against your ear. “thank you. all for my favourite— hey!”

your hands had wandered, going south and tightly clenching against the fat of his rump and jiggling it wildly.

he had pulled away from you as you laugh, bitting your bottom lip as red spread across his neck and cheeks. 

“that was uncalled for!”

“your butt had looked so nice, husband of mine. i couldn’t help it.”

“you’re rude.” but he laughs, and its a charming look on him. “mhmh, but only if i’m allowed to do it too.”

—SERO HANTA

just because he wasn’t built like trucks like the rest, doesn’t mean sero isn’t built. although he’s more lean, when he’s stretched out on the couch like this, on his stomach, his muscles strained over his arms where he kept them underneath the pillow his head was resting, and his thighs and legs were on full display with the tail end of his ducky socks— you remember just how juicy he is.

especially his very prominent butt, looking exceptionally delicious.

and free real estate for a little grab and jiggle.

so you settle by his legs, peeling them off and putting them on your lap. he stirs but doesn’t do much, because for some reason, hanta is harder to wake up at home. you do know he’s alert most of the time, can barely even think about sleeping outside of the house.

what you don’t know is that the atmosphere both of you have built in this house felt like safe haven to him, and every single one of his instincts as a pro-hero quiets. melts. the safety is lulling, and his heartbeat knows your every little movement. the patters of your feet, the warmth of your skin against his. . .

you quiet the ever functioning pro-hero’s instinct.

so when his legs are on your lap, you grab a handful and made it jiggle. its fascinating how he doesn’t wake up from the first contact. you knead more, fascinated by the fat and muscle, and when you give it a smack, you hear a muffled sound.

you freeze, turning to the silky strands of dark hair spilling over the other side of the body you were playing with.

“. . . since when have you been awake, hanta?”

silene.

then another muffled, “. . . am not.”

you smack his butt again, and he shrieks unmistakably, peeling into laughter as he rearranges himself to turn toward you, hauling you by your arms instead and manoeuvring you on top of him, before he lays you both down, starfish pancake style.

he groans into your hair, snuggling you close as he laughs sleepily. “you were having too much fun, thought i’d you give that at least. after all, it’s your favourite ass.”

you pinch his waist and he shrieks again, laughing as he tries to pinch you. you’re too embarassed to say anything, just carding your other hand through his hair.

“i mean,” he says. “to be fair, i did like it. it felt like a really nice massage. the smacking might be too much though. woke my fucking soul up.” he nuzzles into your hair, mumbling, “say. . . can you do that again?”

made by lavi <3

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[wetmithrun]

Elaborate more on that Kakyoin Polnareff Jotaro dynamic? Esp Polnareff and Kakyoin. I love seeing a teenager bully an adult man

hi im so sorry this took like 2 business days i kept forgetting i got asks. i have dementia (editing to add . im sorry this kind of became a kakyoin analysis and thats really funny because hes actually my least fave in canon :') )

(another editing to add. this aint even a kakyoin analysis this is a life analysis . of everyone . holy shit. oh my god)

looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnngg post below ;vv

anyway this is quite literally one of my favorite dynamics in jojo so far (these 3 but namely kakyoin and polnareff). i'm not a kakyoin or a jotaro expert but i like to think i am well versed in polnareffisms.

so as we know kakyoin never really socialized much growing up due to being a little freak weirdo who has a green monster. no hate 2 kakyoin but basically this means, in my opinion, he never developed a "real" personality because he had no one to reflect off of as a child and develop himself. and since we know that video games are one of his hobbies (and hes spent many hours playing that one particular racing game), i feel like he based some aspects of his personality on video game characters so often the shit he will say or do comes off as really uncanny and seems like something No Person In Real Life Would Ever Say Or Do

as a result he doesnt know how to talk to people or what's correct in social situations, ie when to be nice or when sarcasm is appropriate, or when to cry and feel sad etc. dont get me wrong, he understands sarcasm perfectly fine; in fact he got to fine-tune his sarcasm and rebuttal skills thanks to being one of dio's minions and living in that mansion where you have to be sharp as fuck or else the meanies are gonna tear you to shreds and not give a shit. another side effect of being a minion of dio, kakyoin also kind of became mean as hell. thats what happens when ur evil and also surrounded by mean evil people. once again, since he had no influences really growing up, he saw these people and became a social sponge and absorbed the way they talked to each other.

in short what im trying to say is, the little green booger is mean, awkward, Very strange, and still fumbling his way around relationships with other human people.

polnareff, on the VERY opposite end of this spectrum, grew up well socialized and very extraverted. he treats basically everyone like his friend as long as you dont insult him or hurt his feelings (which is amazingly easy to do) and in that case he'll either fight you or cry. it depends. or maybe both!

hes very in touch with his emotions and not afraid to express them; as a result whenever he Does experience a feeling he displays it Loudly and Dramatically. probably also because hes french.

as well as emotionally loud hes vocally loud. hes got a big mouth and a big voice and a big chest for it to resonate and echo around in. this was also very helpful for the environment he grew up in.

i personally headcanon that he grew up on a farm in rural france as sherry's sole guardian. they weren't in the meat business but rather animal products and crops. so think goats, cows, sheep, chickens- except they really didnt have all that much, because they grew up fairly poor. maybe 3 chickens and a rooster and like 2 sows (the pigs were used for truffle hunting if yall were wondering).

anyway this isnt a backstory post (but i can make one if wanted) so ill continue on with the social aspects.

another headcanon of mine is that jean's parents died when he was fairly young, somewhere between 12 and 14. so he had to take on the responsibility of a farm as well as raising sherry pretty early. subsequently, alongside being silly and flamboyant and easygoing, jean is always looking out for his friends and taking liabilities and feels responsible for nearly everything that happens. its why he was so hard on himself when something would go wrong during the trip to cairo; hes so used to being the caretaker, the one whose shoulders everything rests on, that when a disaster happens he gets in his own head about how he could have prevented it and its his fault for not doing so. (he took the deaths really hard.)

relating back to how emotional jean can be, hes also kind of like a Feelings Sonar. basically an empath supreme. he feels and reflects the energy of the people around him tenfold, which really sucks for him because the people hes around dont know how to be anything other than stressed out.

to kind of alleviate this he takes it upon himself to lighten the mood - nothing makes him feel better than making other people happy. so maybe he plays things up a little, acts a tiny more dramatic, gestures a little more, says off-color things at the wrong times. his antics almost never fail to at least get a grin, or even an eyeroll or a groan - hes content with that too.

he has a problem with boundaries though (both physical and emotional) so sometimes he pokes and prods too much, too far, anything to get a reaction; when someone snaps at him (usually nori) hes quick to escalate and take things to the extreme. (yea he experiences a wide range of emotions but no one ever said he could Control them or is even mature enough to try) its not uncommon to find nori and pol arguing with each other about something that started off as a joke, or even physically fighting (it usually doesnt get too bad, mostly shoves or 'roughhousing' but nori almost always wins because of hierophant) but sometimes if hes feeling silly or pathetic he'll hit nori w/ this face

and that usually (USUALLY) de-escalates the situation and they go back to being literal worsties.

also, honestly i think jotaro just doesnt care anymore. he finds pretty much everything annoying, those two especially. he doesnt quite get how or why theyre friends, or if they seem to hate each other so much, why do they still talk to each other.

speaking of jotaro. our very own mr kujo is somewhere in the middle between the two, emotions-wise. he often seems to be neutral to everything (on a good day), maybe even leaning towards annoyed or kinda pissed. something he would rather die before admitting though is that he actually does feel things, and hes not an apathetic monster of teenage hormones with the most serious resting bitch face since dio died.

usually his emotions are quite muted, even when he doesn't express them. physically, he might grunt, or his lips will twitch a millimeter, or he'll huff and sigh, or do that 'tch' thing or go yare yare and cross his arms. sometimes his face betrays him and thats what his trusty hat is for - he can easily pull the brim down over his face to hide any semblance of emotion cause he cant have bitches thinking he feels anything. (small note: polnareff has been forcing him to go hatless so he physically cannot hide his face. hes evil)

inside his head, its about the same. due to his quiet and reserved nature, he didnt talk about feelings or anything growing up and still doesnt now, so often when he feels something he cant figure it out or understand it, so he tends to bury it beneath apathy so he doesnt have to deal with something new - because that scares him. but jotaro cant be afraid, of course not, thats not allowed. if hes afraid, then what does that mean for everyone else?

aside from not being able to express himself properly, his emotions are hidden due in part to fear of vulnerability and being pulled apart, dissected like some kind of creature he took a scalpel to in middle school. (he went home and cried to holly that day.) mocked, ridiculed for being human and feeling things. anger, mostly, just anger. but that's something everyone feels, something men feel, so it's okay to get pissed off at the smallest things. that makes sense to jotaro at least.

as for his relationship with polnareff and kakyoin, they've helped him tremendously in his ordeal with emotions and expression. kakyoin's seemingly unafraid to be weird and bitter and sarcastic and uncanny (or maybe feels ... comfortable?) and jean's feelings, regardless of what they may be are always being aired out, conveyed in such intensity that even a stone wall like jotaro cant help but resonate in some kind of way.

the way polnareff and kakyoin so unabashedly dote on each other, hate each other, poke fun at each other, and encourage jotaro to do the same - well, maybe it has him coming out of his shell a bit. maybe sometimes he'll make a snide comment and catch polnareff off guard and flounder, or maybe sometimes he'll contribute to kakyoin's long, long rants about something he likes, maybe even chime in with more than a few sentences about his own interests.

........... so erm.

needless to say i think this is one of my favorite relationships in jojo ever and theyre all very healthy for each other. three weird kids who complete each other in almost every way and somehow manage to not kill each other in the process (though theyve come close)

so......... SO sorry about. all of that. let me know if you want me to elaborate on anything, dont be afraid to send another ask ;>>