#esp since i was like 12 to 16 when i attended
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guess who spontaneously started learning the good omens opening theme on piano today at 2 am instead of sleeping :)
#i did go to sleep eventually to be fair#my fingers ache a bit now ive been practicing on and off with breaks today#i dont have the whole thing down just yet tho#but a servicable chunk :3#also ive decided to try and read sheet music for this#something i have always despised#normally i would just pull up a synthesia video and use that#a huge thanks to my music teachers from my music school era#who traumatized me into hating reading sheet music instead of helping me learn it or something idk#dont get me wrong music school wasnt all bad#but parts of it altered my brain chemistry let me tell ya#esp since i was like 12 to 16 when i attended#i did have piano as a secondary instrument but very little of it#so i do consider myself to be mostly self-taught#im not very good but its so much more fun without ppl hanging over you and getting mad when you fuck up#personal#misc
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July 4, 2023 | 12:41 am
Recently because of the things going on in my life (esp. the acads), I started to ask God about things I didn’t expect to. I thought I’ve already addressed trust and hope in Him. But apparently I haven’t.
I asked if God cared. If He loves me then why didn’t he make things smooth when I applied for the course I wanted. He says He cares but why can’t I shine in the field that I like and enjoyed and dreamt of since I was little. I wasn’t asking for too much. I wanted to shine to glorify Him with my talent. I wanted to put my heart out there. But I feel suppressed. I knew I could do more than this. But my our finances stops me to. My family’s opinion shuts me out. The society’s perspective pushes me down. Due to this I’ve become hopeless. Engineering broke me. I lost myself trying to pursue what everyone wanted for me. I have become a silent chaos.
But God did. He cared. He speaks. He moves. He listens. He knows.
This is what He reminded me when I sought him in the bible that day. He continues to do so when I’m walking in the street. He embrace me when I listen to Christian music. He smiles at me when the sunlight taps my skin. He lets me rant it out when my mind is a mess. Through these moments He reminds me that He is my Father, my God, my Savior.
I wanted that program, but my one desire in this life is to be with Him. I wanted that program, but he wants me to be with Him. To go through —disappointments, exhaustion, sadness —brokenness so that I run to Him. So that I admit my limitlessness and sinfullness. He cares more to what is unseen.
1 Samuel 16:7 - Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart
I wanted to shine for the story I’ve made for myself, He wanted me to shine with His story in me. Maybe if I got what I wanted, it’ll go in my head. Like Jacob, God allowed him to go through the injustice, longing, and effort to address the problems of his heart and protect him. God delt with the root cause. Jacob didn’t immediately change for the good. In fact, he still lied a couple of times. But he was blessed. Not because of what he did but bc God was with Him. God’s grace and loved compelled him to also be gracious and love. It wasn’t easy the years after when we heard Joseph’s story, but we knew he was with God.
My hearts wasn’t completely his. So he cleared that.
Engineering didn’t break me: Engineering built me. I learned that all courses are hard but easy if i really try to. I learned to practice calculations. I learned to face my professors and classmates even when I’ve missed or failed a task in that class. I learned to be true to myself I can only do so much. I need sleep. I need an accountability partner and support system, believer and non. I need to learn to manage my finances, to eat when I’m starving, to ride the jeep when I’m tired. I need to get off my comfort zone. I need to face my fears. I need to do my part in studying cuz only then will I pass. I need to trust and be reminded of God day by day, not only on some. I need Him. I learned my ONE THING: to experience Him so that I can help others too. I need to get my ass of the bed early to cry and sort things out to God before I minister for and in Him in classes. I need to withdraw and say “no” to friends so I can give time for Him when i wasn’t able to in the morning. I need to attend classes because then will I be among the people and be compassionate through the Gospel. I need to do the hard things now if I want to have a weekend or even a vacation. I need to appreciate where I am because most people couldn’t even step on this univ. I learned to be happy for my classmates who was flying in our field even when I wasn’t. I learned that everyone is at a different pace and strengths.
I didn’t lose myself, I found it. I became aware more of my weaknesses and flaws. I discovered my wants and needs and what I didn’t. I saw my reflection in how God sees me — a saint. Sinning but not living in sin. Pressed but not crushed. Confused but not losing hope. 2 cor 4:8. This has resulted in eternal life in me. In my chaos, God found me and introduced me to me.
I wasn’t a silent chaos, I have become a resounding peace. One that is has experienced God’s unthinkable peace. One that is held in His plan. One that walks with the God of the heavens and earth, who is eternal and full of glory. If I am limited then why don’t i just trust the one who knows what will happen and what is best for me. Who sends janitors, jeep drivers, angkas drivers, classmates and his church when I turn my face away from Him. Who loves me will all that He has, even his life. Who left the 99 for me. Who continually pursue me and ask me to allow him to do so. (Hosea 3: 14)
Psalm 8:4 - What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?
end 1:55am
I asked if God cared. He says He loves me enough to not make things smooth when I applied for the course I wanted.
Loc: Sunken Garden
#college life#christian motivation#bible verse#chaos#daily devotion#thoughts#word of god#reality#write#prayer
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Grey’s Anatomy. Season 1-. 7.8/10
Season 1:
Everyone is so young. I love that Cristina is a bit more subservient here, because she can do whatever she wants in the future. I seem to like Izzie here even though I don’t ever recall liking her. McDreamy really is so dreamy. Miranda’s so tough and talks back to her attendings a lot without repercussions, because she’s pretty much right.
How are there no repercussions to Alex having posted Izzie’s photos in the hospital?
Season 2:
Derek has no right to treat Meredith the way he does when he’s hurt.
George and Callie are an interesting couple.
Season 3:
I stopped liking George after he had sex with Meredith. He became less likable. Thatcher’s a bitch.
I could see George and Izzie together if everything wasn’t the way it is. aka in another world altogether.
Whenever Cristina feels emotion, I empathize.
Season 4:
Callie doesn’t deserve any of this negativity. I just don’t understand Derek wanting to break up. Meredith hasn’t been drifting away ever since her drowning.
Lexie seems like a really sweet girl, but lowkey. Like, I wouldn’t notice her until I talked with her. Rose pretty.
Dylan Minnette was so young here, but his role was so good.
This season all about men saying shitty things and making shitty choices and we give them more chances.
Season 5:
Owen is a lot more hardcore and macho here than he is in Season 16 era.
I love Lexie. I love her with Mark.
I could not date someone like Alex, especially if he yells at me.
Season 6:
I love Cristina taking a selfie with Harper Avery. She was so funny this entire season. Also, her during the shooting is so amazing and she’s the best friend ever.
So, did Izzie pay her own bills or no?
Where even is Megan and the other interns? Irrelevant.
I could’ve seen Mark and Teddy be a thing if they worked harder at it.
Season 7:
Imagine if Cristina couldn’t be a surgeon.
I love when Alex was a team player for Kepner during trauma certification. It’s funny that he goes for Steve’s shoes. Same when he’s body blocking Stark.
Season 12:
All the main characters of the og show is now gone except Karev, Meredith, Bailey, and Webber. I truly miss all the old characters and dislike being forced to learn about the others’ live continuing without them. I guess that’s life though. Transitions have gotten much smoother than in the previous seasons but the content is not as good (or maybe i’m just not as attached to the characters).
Still appreciate the crazy surgeries needing to take place. Shonda Rhimes is the idol.
Season 13:
The surgeons are really so confident and arrogant in their thinking. Always bickering about who is right. Why is shit always going down?
Season 13 really upped its game from Season 12. Thought it’d be dumb after everyone died. I love how into surgery the surgeons are. esp when they’re like omg i need neuro porn. I love when they add in episodes of real life healthcare outside of the hospital. Alex is the best. Everyone is so brave. Tidbits of characters’ murmurings are rather funny this season.
Season 14:
This season is much better. It brings in interesting/woke af concepts. I like when they didn’t have the monitors working. I like that the title of the 9th episode is the domestic violence hotline. I loved when everyone was so helpful in Bello’s deportation situation. THE WEED ONE WAS SO AMUSING. I love when Alex and Meredith bring up past stories, because I went through all of that with them and nostalgia. I love when they bring in baby cristina and friends bc I miss them. I love how mature Meredith is and it is wild because I’ve been with these people since their journey from being interns. It’s so wild. Now, they’re legends. Carina’s study makes me amused. Carina herself is amusing. Megan’s a great girl. Glad PTM made it. I love how proactive everyone is in wanting to become a better surgeon. The contest is so cool. They are coming up with some brilliant stuff. I love all the loyalty and relationships with one another. I enjoy Betty.
How do so many attractive people exist?
I’m noticing the Windows Surface.
This made me want to move to Seattle.
Season 15:
I honestly love how confident every one is and they are proud of their accomplishments. They’re arrogant, but they deserve it, yaknow. I love how supportive everyone is with one another. I love how they gossip all the time and reveal way to much about their personal lives in their professional lives. Hello first gay guy surgeon. You’re good looking. I love when he played Operation LOL. I love how genuinely interested they are in each others’ lives. Meredith talking to Jo to help her fix her perspective is what every single person in the world should hear about themselves. Interesting all the changes in relationship dynamics.
Ted Mosby? What ya doing here? Louie (the patient) ‘s wife reminded me of Carol Kane.
LOL at when they all felt inferior to a math whiz.
Amelia’s life is trash ahh.
Season 16:
I’m glad Meredith seems to be more important this season. I’m more invested. OMG girl from Booksmart. Here I thought that she was going to be a permanent cast member. Guthrie was so funny.
I can’t believe we just got rid of Alex this way. Poor Jo! I like her so much more than Izzie. Also can’t believe we just made DeLuca crazy.
Memorable Quotes: “I’d give anything for your kind of serenity.” “I don’t even know you, I’m a farmer.” “She’s strong, but she listens to you.” “Never settle again.” “Just when I think you’re boring, you rise.” “Want my pickle?” “She’s Callie O’Malley.” “Screwed up people have a chance.” “You are the one person I wanted to tell.” “Be kind, rewind.” “The people who suffer the most are those who don’t know what they want.” “Some things don’t need to be told.” “Walk tall.” “I broke me.” “Are you having the dark and twisties?” ““The social worker won’t return my page.” “Well, that’s not very social.”“ “We break you down to rebuild you.” “Every pain has a purpose. God, I hope that one’s true.” “You are Jo Wilson, I know exactly who you are.” “The good outweighed the bad, until it didn’t.” “Because I’ve never had the last name of anyone who has ever loved me.” “I don’t think I need my neck anymore.” “and what might be easy for one person, for someone else it might take inner strength that you can’t even imagine.“ “When did you turn 40?” “Why do we often run for the hills when we feel the slightest connection?” “Kiss the one who turns back time for you.” “When people reach out a hand, you don’t bite it. I did it for years. The only thing it gets you is they stop reaching out.” “I don’t want to stop. And I do.” “The whole world is broken.” “Recovery is not a team sport.”
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thank u @jamesvanriemsdyk for tagging me :)
1. what is the color of your hair brush?
i have a light blue one with little polar bears in like hats and mitts on it and i have another one that has elsa on it bc we do stan a queen
2. name a food you never eat?
i’m not a picky eater, but i have like a hard time with textures so i just. really hate raspberries or anything else that’s grainy. also apple sauce. stuff like that
3. are you typically too warm or too cold?
i am generally always too cold, like i have a blanket near me at all times and i live in sweaters
4. what were you doing 45 minutes ago?
i think i was eating supper lol maybe or playing among us, what is the passing of time idk
5. whats your favorite candy bar?
my favourite candy bar is uhhh kit kat maybe?
6. have you ever been to a professional sports game?
oh yeah absolutely lol, i’m pretty quiet about hockey on this blog but uh. i’ve been to an nhl preseason game and like the whole weekend long training camp watching practices and stuff, i’ve also been to an nhl alumni game, and an ahl game
7. what was the last thing you said out loud?
“ah, fuck me” when i got caught as the impostor :)
8. what is your favorite ice cream?
i really like birthday cake, esp the halo top one
9. what was the last thing you had to drink?
water
10. do you like your wallet?\
yeah it’s got a little cat face on it and it’s just the right size but i’ve also had it since high school so her time is coming and i’m sad about it
11. what was the last thing you ate?
one of those pillsbury pumpkin cookies that slap
12. did you buy any new clothes last weekend?
i did lol, i bought some new mom jeans and some belts and some jatp merch and i need to stop purchasing things honestly!
13. what was the last sporting event you watched?
the last one i legitimately watched was probably when the leafs got eliminated and didn’t even make the playoffs and i am still sad okay. but i also like, watched enough of the scf to watch tampa win
14. what is your favorite flavor of popcorn?
good old salt and butter lol
15. who was the last person you sent a text to?
@jamesvanriemsdyk
16. ever go camping?
yes, my grandparents used to own a camper when i was younger so we spent a good bit of time there and we used to go to a cabin like in the middle of nowhere a bunch if that counts
17. do you take your vitamins?
no because i am dumb
18. do you regularly attend a place of worship?
lol no, grew up catholic though! isn’t that something?
19. do you have a tan?
nah man i am so pale lol
20. do you prefer chinese or pizza?
chinese absolutely
21. do you drink soda through a straw?
yes :(
22. what color socks do you usually wear?
i actively despise socks and only wear them outside of the house but there’s like no common theme here, i buy whatever and wear whatever, i’m lucky if they’re matching most days honestly lol
23. do you ever drive above the speed limit?
oh i don’t drive
24. what terrifies you?
let’s see, what doesn’t?
25. look to the left, what do you see?
my water bottle
26. what chore do you hate doing the most?
folding or putting away laundry
27. what do you think when you hear an australian accent?
five seconds of summer -- is it hi or hey?
28. what’s your favorite soda?
cherry coke or sprite
29. do you go in fast food places or just hit the drive thru?
when possible i am in the drive thru lol
30. what is your favorite number?
9
31. who’s the last person you talked to?
ngl it was my cat
32. favorite cut of beef?
what does this mean
33. last song you listened too?
it was probably motion sickness by phoebe bridgers
34. last book you read?
apparently it was “one of us is lying” bc i haven’t read a book since june lol rip
35. favorite day of the week?
i quite like fridays
36. can you say the alphabet backwards?
no i cannot
37. how do you like your coffee?
i usually just put a flavoured creamer in it! typically it’s a vanilla almond milk creamer but i’ve been using pumpkin spice lately
38. favorite pair of shoes?
my white converse or my blundstones
39. time you normally get up?
it’s usually like 10 or 11 rn or whatever time my cat decides i wake up
40. do you prefer sunrise or sunset?
sunset bc i actually see those
41. describe your kitchen plates?
they’re those white corelle ones that are supposed to be like unbreakable
42. how many blankets on your bed?
i think it’s like four or five and sometimes i throw more on top
43. describe your kitchen at the moment?
she’s probably a little messy rn
44. do you have a favorite alcoholic drink?
i love some vodka
45. do you play cards?
my coworkers and i got weirdly into uno this summer
46. what color is your car?
do not have one bc driving scares me
47. can you change a tire?
lol no
48. favorite state?
i’m canadian so i will say favourite province, which is newfoundland bc home. but i would also leave here for pei in a heartbeat
49. favorite job you’ve ever had?
i have like worked the same job since high school, it’s a job in tourism and i get to do a lot of fun things and meet some great people
50. tagging: no one but if you see this, feel free to do it bc i think it’s fun and i’d like to get to know y’all
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Thanks so much for the tag @love-family-whatever-it-is
1. How long have you been a fan of Outlander?
I started watching in April 2017! I had just returned home from Scotland and was in withdrawal and Outlander popped up on my netflix!
2. Have you read the books? If so, which ones?
I’ve read Outlander and Dragonfly in Amber... currently reading Voyager
3. Which is your favourite secondary character?
Definitely Murtagh
4. What is your least favourite storyline?
I used to hate the Paris episodes but after reading Dragonfly in Amber I really appreciate them much more!
5. Favourite episode(s)?
Can I say the first 14 episodes of Season 1? They are truly amazing. But probably the same as most... 1x02, 1x03, 1x05, 1x07, 3x06
6. The episode(s) you skip?
I always skip the rape scenes in Wentworth Prison and To Ransom A Man’s Soul. I tend to skip Creme de Menthe when I’m doing a full rewatch
7. Be honest, how many times have you watched “The Wedding”?
Probably liiikee 15-20 (I rewatch season 1 all the time!)
8. Finish the sentence: Frank Randall is _________.
Pitiful
9. What’s your Outlander watching ritual?
Watch them when they air Sunday night! But since I’m so far west in Canada I usually see spoilers on tumblr first because I can’t stay awaayy
10. Are you into shipping?
I think everyone is to love Outlander lol Jamie/Claire is the heart of the story!
11. Do you read Outlander fanfiction? If so, what’s your favourite?
I’ve read a couple J/C one shots! I’m always open to recommendations though
12. What Outlander merchandise do you own?
I own the ‘Making of Outlander’ book (it’s beautiful) and then my friends brought me back an Outlander tea towel from Scotland! I wish I had more
13. Which was your favourite: Rupert or Angus?
Rupert! His death was so sadd for me
14. True or False: Lt. Jeremy Foster is a delicious cinnamon bun.
True!
15. If you were to attend a “fucking bar-b-que” with Geillis Duncan what would you order?
Veggie burger I guess
16. What areas of interest has Outlander sparked for you?
It’s the reason I taught myself how to use photoshop to make gifs which has been really fun and I enjoy it quite a bit! I was on tumblr for years but I was never inspired by a fandom to actually contribute graphically until Outlander
17. Biggest plot hole in the show?
I know this isn’t a plot hole buttt Jamie’s ghost in 1x01! Come on I need an explanation
18. Bree and Roger: Yay or Nay?
Yay! Esp in the books
19. Which JAMMF habit do you find endearing?
How he always says "Truly”
20. Finish the sentence: Claire Fraser is _______________.
BAMF!
21. Marry/Fuck/Kill: Dougal, Black Jack, Geneva.
Kill Black Jack, Fuck Geneva, Marry Dougal
22. If you could change one thing about the show version of Outlander, what would it be?
More episodes in season 2. In season 2 you don’t really feel how much time Jamie and Claire were together before she goes back through the stones like you do in the book
23. Using one word for each, describe Season 1, Season 2, and Season 3:
Captivating, Painful, Reunited
24. What are some of your other favourite shows/movies?
Just finished ‘Elite’ on netflix and it was very good! All time favourite shows include Skins, Shameless, Misfits, Black Mirror, Brooklyn Nine Nine, The Office, Sense8, etc etc my list could go on forever
25. Where are you from?
Canaaddaaa!
Tag, you’re it: @three-drink-amy @beauchamp-fraser @laird-brochtuarach @vintagetigerinpearls if you haven’t already done this!
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snb:vs ep17 aka where do I even begin with this
WARNING: nothing but salt in here, so if you think this ep is good and it makes you happy, do yourself a favor and scroll past please.
This ep post is divided into four parts:
the good part
the salt is real for azazel part
charioce the fragile baby bird part
tl;dr part
now
1. ON THE GOOD PART
first of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BOTHERING TO CARE ABOUT AZAZEL, KAISAR
currently you (and the grandpa demon chief from ep15) seem to be the only one to do so.
haha…ha… /cries
I guess I should just be thankful that kaisar at least mentioned his name, considering in ep10, 11, 12, 13, 14 not only he doesn’t get to appear, none seems to remember his name or his existence at all.
(bacchus and hamsa too seem to be forgotten, while we’re at it)
Also dang favaro looks so hot this ep? And considerably older. Something about him is just cool all over, but cool in that fun uncle whom you like to play with way, not cool cold way.
You have no idea how happy it makes me to see his armpit hair is still there hoho
Also favaro says that azazel’s not there since morning… meaning Azazel’s actually an early morning person???
That’s… unexpected lmao
I kinda thought with his being demon and also his vampire complexion, he’d have a vampire habit of sleeping in the day and be awake in the night.
But then again, he does have a job as an undertaker in the stadium, so uh, sorry for doubting your dedication azazel! Just because you’re a demon who seems used to being spoiled and egoist, doesn’t mean you’re lazy!
…why does he have to disappear just after he agrees to work together with kaisar in ep before? Doesn’t it look like he goes back on his words??? Show why you keep doing this to him yo
Well
Rita is actually good with make up and costumes. Color me surprised, bcs her doctor outfit is so…. baggy. But I guess attending patients are easier in such outfits compared to her casual ones lol
Meanwhile on heaven, a new ship is officially born
Sofiel really just says that, while fully knowing bacchus fell from grace bcs he chased after a human girl.
El officially has two moms now, aren’t you happy El >/////<
Speaking of El, nobody calls him El on earth, so probably even if azazel’s here, he would still not know that El is mugaro’s real name.
I was kinda hoping mugaro and nina are still in each other’s clothes by the time they meet azazel just to see his reaction to it and confirm what his reaction in ep7 actually was, but alas, since azazel’s not even shown at all, might as well have them back in their own clothes.
/bitter
Kaisar formally introducing himself to mugaro is weird bcs well, haven’t they met before? Countless times? Maybe not at night while azazel’s doing his rag demon routine, but during azazel’s job at the stadium? And during ep8?
But then maybe mugaro being jeanne’s kid makes a difference?
This part makes me a bit confused bcs all this time, I thought Kaisar’s actually aware of azazel being in Anatea (from the start maybe, bcs rita, so at least two years?), he just doesn’t realize until ep1 that the rag demon is azazel. And if he’s known azazel in the city for two years at least, he should’ve noticed mugaro’s existence, since mugaro hardly ever leaves azazel’s side, be it night or day.
Also, how long azazel’s been in anatea anyway? It should be more than two years, but none mentions it so far right? Even grandpa demon chief from ep15 just says azazel going away alone without any time modifier.
And yes, hamsa in that vest is cute <3
…now on to the hard part:
2. THE SALT IS REAL FOR AZAZEL
First of all, let me make it clear: I don’t care who ends up with who in the show; that’s what fics and fanworks are for.
and I know I keep repeating this, but from the start, I actually already expected nina and chari to end up together, so them ending up together, now, does not surprise me.
What surprised me is the way they (the writers) go to achieve it: which is by consistently undermining a “love rival” or another character (azazel) in order to make chari (the true love interest) looks good in comparison.
And this is… just so very painful for me as azazel’s fan.
I already wrote a bit about how azanina scenes in those early eps were actually foreshadowing for charinina plot, and it happens again in this ep.
Just compare the difference in the way the anime shows azanina and charinina interaction; same street, same place, but chari is a charming playful gentleman who ends up taking nina in a ‘romantic’ gateaway while azazel is a pushy jerkass who ends up on his ass in a comical position courtesy of rita’s punch.
Also pls compare these lines:
Those two lines technically commenting the same thing: meeting and reacting to each other.
And while Azazel’s line is more matter of fact and had a sense of inevitability to it, like “what happened happened and let’s just accept it and move on to do something about it”,
Chari’s line is unnecessarily more dramatic, and also more romantic, bcs wow how he makes nina sound so special and like she’s the only one, like he’s blaming fate or whatever, while at the same time confirming why yes fate is the one who makes us meet; if only fate isn’t so cruel blah blah blah
Sorry if I sound so skeptic bcs honestly I’m just… skeptic.
Like, wtf dude who are you? Who is this emo ooc parading around in charioce’s shoes? I don’t know him.
He has never showed sign of being emo even once during the whole 16 eps and then suddenly this??? yeah right.
But back to that line, I won’t blame nina if she falls for chari’s words hook, line and sinker bcs she always seems to be drunk in love in her own separate world and at first glance chari’s words is totally romantic – if you like your man dramatic.
So… to sum it up, from nina’s perspective (and what the show wants you to see it as) Azazel: matter of fact pushy jerkass with no romantic bone whatsoever to his body Charioce: romantic charming guy with romantic confession and is kind to kids.
Haha ha…. /bitter
AZAZEL DESERVES BETTER THAN TO BE A FODDER FOR CHARININA PLOTLINE
/phew
There I said it.
Just, you know, it seems everything azanina did is eventually going to be done also by charinina, except in a way that’s much cooler and romantic; and this is not bcs of chari or azazel’s characterization itself, but bcs the *show* needs and intends for chari to look better compared to azazel.
It’s in *the way* they show it, and not the act itself that actually really matters.
Personally, I hate how, bcs of Nina’s romantic and obvious shoujo manga view of her world, in the show Azazel’s treated like a persistent former boyfriend once ep6 rolls around and chari appears for real; like he’s suddenly being broken up by nina even tho 1) they’re not lovers in the first place, 2) he never shows romantic interest in her.
And honestly, I could understand azanina shippers’s frustration with the show’s current progress, bcs up to ep4, they have the most interaction and nina’s reactions to him is so very… leading, to say the least. Add to it the show’s marketing and main visual w/ nina surrounded by four guys, it seems at least azazel and chari had the same chance with her. (fava already has Amira and kai has rita, so they’re just not available to nina)
But then by ep5, it seems the whole 4eps doesn’t happen and azazel’s just mugaro’s boyfriend/brother/guardian aka *just* nina’s acquaintance, nothing more.
Add again to it the fact that nina doesn’t even seem to remember azazel exists ever since ep10 until now ep17. Not once does she ever wonder about how he’s doing, despite how she feels guilty over him in ep8.
Even taking the shipping issue aside, it’s just not good overall for nina’s characterization to forget about him and her guilt so easily, bcs that means once the ‘problem’ is no longer in front of her, she instantly forgets about it. That makes her so… flighty, easily distracted, and just…unreliable, to say the least. And seems unsympathetic toward others.
I’m not saying what happened to azazel is her fault; it’s completely his and his fault only.
I’m saying it’s important to follow up on her guilt and explore it a little perhaps, and not just act like it never happens, bcs she *did* say she feels sorry for what happened in ep8.
I *did* like azanina’s interaction more than charinina’s even though I didn’t ship them romantically.
But now (or more precisely, ever since that hot spring scene w/ nina and Jeanne) I just want nina to stay faaaaaaar away from Azazel.
esp since even if he meets her again, he's only going to be used for yet another charinina fodder and example how he's such a jerkass loser while chari is a charming romanticist anyway
GIVE HIM A BREAK, SHOW, GDI
I understand her head is full of charioce or something but the fact she COMPLETELY forgets about azazel despite their past interaction and what happened between them and how they saved each other at least once is just… haha… ha…
You know, if this pattern continues, nina’s actually going to forget about charioce too the moment another hot looking guy pays attention to her for a bit probably haha
So yeah.
I read someone says azazel has his own story and Nina has her own story, and that they just doesn’t care about nina’s. I AGREE COMPLETELY.
Indeed azazel and nina (and chari too tbh) have their own story, but while azazel & charioce’s story happens in the same line, Nina’s story while seems to happen in the same world, just doesn’t connect to their story at all (so far anyway, yes, even tho it’s 17th ep already).
3. CHARIOCE THE FRAGILE BABY BIRD (according to nina)
First of all, boo hoo, wtf why is she still getting red-faced by kaisar? I thought she already has her true love in charioce and no other man would do, but then kaisar appears and she’s suddenly back to her old self?
(esp when azazel no longer does it for her???)
Hamsa’s line makes it clear tho: that red-faced scene is done purely for comedy and not for any consistency or plot-relevant thing. If you’re trying to be consistent, show, then try to show her character development instead, her who is no longer easily blushing anymore. I thought this is already an established plot point, but apparently not, and it irks me greatly.
And that’s actually the biggest flaw in the show: the show is mainly story-driven and not character-driven, and for the sake of advancing plot, it sacrifices many things, including any consistency in Nina’s characterization.
I won’t be commenting much on the discomfort watching Chari & Nina playing with the demon kids bcs other ppl already covered that better than me.
But I’d like to point out the discomfort of watching Nina treating Charioce like some kind of fragile baby bird.
I’m just. WHUT.
In this ep, even tho he IS the king who enslaves and kills and destroys these demons, she’s more worried about HIS well-being than the demons who have no way of fighting back if he ever tries to attack them.
GURL PLS.
She worries about HIS clothes even though the demons kids’ clothes are far from being fit.
She screams when she sees the ball is a skull but shows no reaction at all to how HE naturally plays ball with said skull like nothing amiss, like he’s used to seeing skulls.
She trusts HIM instantly even though technically she is a fugitive and he’s the king who is hunting her and her escapee friends.
She worries more about HIM being in the slum than about the danger to HER FRIENDS by bringing their hunter to their own backyard.
All she thinks about is HER, HERself, HER feelings, HER thoughts, and HIM and I just.
GURL HOW SELF-CENTERED ARE YOU.
She really doesn’t think of things outside her immediate perspective or beyond herself. She does not even *try*.
She’s kind but she lacks empathy, which is why she needs direction and to be told to care before she could actually care.
I’ve said before how, bcs charioce never directly hurts her, she can’t think of him as a bad person.
And this scene:
I just.
the "an asshole to everybody else but a sweetheart to his girl" trope is such a popular trope in all kind of media that I'm surprised nina doesn't realize it's not weird or extraordinary at all.
ahem
I don’t understand why she can’t understand this: that both are part of him, both are *real*
On the other hand, she could accept and understand that Azazel’s kind to Mugaro but a jerkass to her. Both are facets of azazel, and she has no trouble parsing that.
But then when it comes to charioce, she suddenly loses all senses? Pfft.
Also, why does it matter which one is real? Chari still did both things; even if, say, the kind him is the real him, it doesn’t erase the fact he destroys Cocytus and enslaves demons and kills both demons and angels.
Like wtf gurl.
Also, the *wording* actually *matters*, and the way she says “making the demons and gods hate you” it’s like Chari is only pranking them or something harmless like that for the purpose of making them hate him, which is not true at all.
HE TORTURED AND MASS MURDERED THEM. WOMEN AND CHILDREN ALIKE.
No, Nina, it’s not hate what they feel for Chari; hate is too light a word to describe it. They try to murder him now bcs they’re trying to survive, since if he’s not dead he’s going to kill them all eventually.
Also, way to make this all about you, gurl.
Gods and demons being slaughtered left and right but all you care about is his attitude toward you, bcs it’s the only thing that matters to you the most apparently.
Bcs his countless victims, including Jeanne, mugaro, kaisar, azazel, the gods she called cute, totally do not matter at all to her.
Empathy what empathy.
Fuck.
I’ve written about it here, but her conversation with Jeanne in ep14 still gives me chills bcs wow, she perfectly knows chari is the one who hurts Jeanne and is the cause of Jeanne hurting her own child, yet she still dares, with no shred of guilt at all while claiming herself Jeanne’s friend, saying to Jeanne’s face that she *loves* charioce.
No consideration at all of how Jeanne’s actually one of Chari’s victims, no nothing.
The fact Nina doesn’t mention Charioce is the guy she likes is totally cheating and unfair to Jeanne, bcs now Jeanne has unknowingly approved of Charioce.
Cheating…or more like betrayal toward Jeanne, I think.
I wish Nina had done it purposefully tho, omitting Chari’s name in that scene I mean, bcs at least it means she’s aware jeanne’s chari’s victim and only trying to spare her feelings by not mentioning the name, while still keeping the conversation going.
But the fact she hadn’t is just. stupid and mostly empathy what empathy indeed.
Also this scene:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
WTF
…I feel so stupid for trying to analyze her transformation at all oh my god what a waste of time and energy
What about her mother’s words about how her transformation is realted to her father trauma and bahamut???? Where’s the follow up??? Where did that plotline go omg
I JUST.
REALLY, SHOW, REALLY?
That easy? So she’s basically, to quote someone, “just a dragon in heat.”
Wow.
Just… wow.
Also to anon from way back, I take back what I said about how nina’s ignorance is not meant as shallow; full offense, I really mean this: nina’s not only ignorant, but also shallow, only thinks of herself, and has no empathy whatsoever for others unless told to.
The fact Chari never hurts her is important, bcs to her, since she never experiences his cruelty herself, countless tales of his victims is just an unreal myth to her.
Meanwhile for Charioce himself, dude, how the fuck did you go from Charioce 13th to Charioce 17th so fast in less than 5 years, like did you kill 14th-16th or what?
They sure do love abandoning subplots left and right, don’t they haha
I thought he’s interesting at the beginning but he barely has any character development and frankly I’m bored and lost interest in him and his secretiveness just makes him irritating.
I’m not a patient person; sue me for losing interest.
Also, someone commented how Charinina’s lake scene makes them seem like Romeo and Juliet, like, if only they’re not who they are, then they must be able to be happy together.
WTF ROMEO JULIET WHERE
They both are humans, none’s stopping them from being together, he and his race are not at war with her or her race; he doesn’t even know dragonfolk exists.
Azazel thinks her a demon but then again he’s wrong about a lot of things, including mugaro’s origin.
No, dragons are not demons, and nina’s also half dragonfolk half human, so she’s mostly human.
The closest Romeo/Juliet relationship in the show is probably Chari/Mugaro or Chari/Azazel or even Mugaro/Azazel.
There’s no pre-existing condition between Nina/Chari, all the drama are recent and of their own making and not something that already exists as foundation of conflict.
4. TL;DR
I do think while Azazel deserves a lot of suffering, being comic relief and charinina’s fodder is not one of them.
Also Charioce still doesn’t have embarrassing pose and never experienced being the butt of a joke like the rest of the main casts wtf let the poor guy have his own embarrassing meme show
As protags, Nina and Charioce feel so flat to me. Nothing much happens to them personally, no mountain of problems to overcome, no nothing. Well nina has her transformation problem, but that seems so insignificant considering it only involves her and her alone.
Charioce doesn’t have problems to solve bcs he actually creates problems for other characters and somehow sit all the while being cool and charismatic doing nothing. Pfft.
I think, conflict and character development wise, Kaisar and Azazel deserve to be protags more. Kaisar has the Hero’s Righteousness ™ down to the smallest detail, while Azazel has the classic Hero Journey (starting from losing everything to trying to regain everything back).
Meanwhile, Charioce starts as a villain and continues on to be villain, while Nina just lets the waves take her.
Again, this is entirely my personal opinion.
#salt that i am#shingeki no bahamut#ssshh#nothing here#snb talks#how#do i#tag#this#again#nina drango#azazel#charioce xvii#charinina#azanina
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lool...STELLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~! 1-26 BECAUSE I'M AWFUUUUUUL~! Also, 27, which I've decided will be "what do you think of the Kebiishi?" [[you can take your time answering this ofc.]]
¯\_(ツ)_/¯Man, you have no chill Nima .-. but fine, we’ll do it your way. This gonna get long obviously, so under the cut so other ppl won’t have to scroll through my shit xD #7 was a mistake
1. What is your name and which server is your citadel on?
Stella in the Higo Province~ Pretty sure I just randomly picked a server at the start lulz
2. When did you start serving as a Saniwa? Please display your battle records.
September 28, 2017 8D Here, look at my shame lol
3. Which starter sword did you pick? What is he doing now?
Yamanbagiri Kunihiro! I liked him a lot from what little screen time he had in Katsugeki and then what I saw of him in Hanamaru (+ dat Maeno voice is A++) so I went with him C: He’s a proud member of Unit 1 (tho those members get rotated around so they’re around the same levels) and helps me beat up the enemy ^^
4. Who is the first among your swords to reach the maximum level? What do you think of him.
No one has reached the max level yet LOL Hotarumaru will probably be the first one? Since he always gets MVP x’D fajkfsjdf I love him so much?? He’s so smol and precious?? MY SON! I can always count on him to take out the enemy for me without taking much damage and he’s just the most adorable thing?? I love him
5. Who do you have in each of your squads, and how do you use them? If you haven’t unlocked all four teams yet, briefly describe how you plan to organize them.
Got all four unlocked and uh, I just put in swords around the same level so I can train them up. Unit 1 is usually my strongest swords/main team (Yamanbagiri, Ichigo, Hotarumaru, Izuminokami, Hasebe, and Namazuo), while the other units are whoever I’m training up and use them for expeditions sometimes.
6. Without considering the performance of the swords, which type of sword do you prefer?
Tantou Tachi! Idk when it started but I just really like swords?? I see a character in a game/anime with a sword -> “I like that guy, he’s cool!” And I guess the swords typically used are tachis?? I actually have wanted to buy a sword lol, every year at the night market there’s a stand selling prop swords (like for cosplay and stuff) and I always joke about buying one but $$$ feelsbadman
7. List the swords that you like and your thoughts on them.
I have a list here LOL No thoughts there tho :you should know all this, Nima
Yagen: My man, the bae, my everything. I love him the most (*’∀’人)♥ I love how caring he is towards his brothers and takes care of them when Ichigo isn’t there. It was so touching seeing him trying his best to summon Ichi-nii for his smol bros and I just jakfsjkf I cri every time. As serious as he can get sometimes, it’s also super cute seeing him playing with his brothers and messing around(?) sometimes, like in that beach episode
Ichigo: The husband because how can you not (〃・ω・〃)Putting aside the fact that he is beautiful and handsome and -swoon- His laugh is precious?? I also love how caring he is and worries about his smol bros and takes care of them. Best onii-chan. He seems so gentle and kind. I find it super precious how it seems like he gets jealous over all the swords you have it’s k bby you’ll always be special to me and -dreamy sigh- I love him?
Namazuo: I love his personality! φ(゚ ω゚//)♡ His cheerfulness and outgoing attitude is so precious and always makes me super happy in return. I love hearing his voice and I would want to be bffs with him. His quirk of throwing horse poop at people is so wtf but at the same time, it’s cute?? Even after kiwame, I still love him (tho I prefer his low ponytail than his high one o v o ). His tickle wars with the saniwa are really cute~ His genki attitude is like a breath of fresh air tbh and I love him. Please let me love you
Kashuu: I kinda wished I picked him as my starter because omfg, he is so precious and I want to smother him with my love, especially after watching Hanamaru. He has his own baggage and problems to deal with but instead of drowning in them, he still tries his best to help out Yamatonokami in Hanamaru, and fulfill the saniwa’s orders. He doesn’t let his insecurities get the better of him and I just jfkalsjdfkf ‘cause tbh I feel him? I’m scared of dying but I’m more scared of being abandoned and having no one?? So even if Kashuu is quick to latch onto a new master, I wouldn’t blame him at all and just give him all my love (((( ;°Д°)))) I want him to know he’s special and that I’d never abandon him ever
8. Are there any pairings that you like? If there is, please list them.
Nope~ I read a few Ichigo/Tsurumaru oneshots that were kinda cute but eh, I’m not really into shipping for TKRB.
9. Is your Citadel an employee-friendly Citadel or a black-hearted Citadel that works your swords to the bones?
I like to think it’s pretty employee-friendly ^^;; If they’re fatigued, I take them off the team and let them rest, or if most of the team is fatigued, then I let them chill. If they’re missing HP then I stick them in repairs (if I have a vacant room OTL) unless it’s just like, 1-2HP then I wait until after one more battle. Always quick to use help tokens though ‘cause I don’t want to wait 10hours LOL
10. Have you ever done anything weird to your swords?
Nooooo?? I can’t think of anything? Though I guess, with the current event (VoT6) Namazuo keeps getting owned and having to retreat so I guess the smart thing would be to put someone else on the team instead of him but I’m just like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ since the damage isn’t permanent and keep on trucking since the exp is still pretty good. That’s not really weird and more of me being a bad Saniwa towards him tho?? lol orz
11. Have you ever broken a sword? What happened, and who did you break?
NOPE NOBDOY and hopefully it’ll stay like that ; u ; Man, I’d probably cry if someone broke ‘cause their lines are all so sad, especially my precious tantous ;o;
12. Who looses troops the most in your Citadel? And who is the most skilled at making troops?
Yamatonokami and Nikkari, for whatever reason :
13. Have you ever done something with all your might in order to get a particular sword? Please describe what you did and the results.
I pray to RNGesus and hope for the best?? xD What else can you do besides use an ofuda? Maybe I’ll try what I do in SIF next time and repeatedly click on the attendant lol
14. Are you superstitious? (wwww)
Sure? What is this question referring to o u o
15. What made you join the TKRB fandom in the beginning? How about now?
Hot guys LMAO K well, that’s what made me want to get into the game/fandom but all that stuff about needing a proxy/VPN looked too complicated for my dumb ass so I didn’t bother. But uh, I guess I first became aware of it because of cosplayers somehow?? Like I’d see super pretty pics of cosplayers and somehow knew it was from TKRB but that was it. Then the Hanamaru anime came out and I decided to watch it a few seasons afterwards, but there were too many characters and I kinda got bored? So I dropped it after three episodes =3= Then Katsugeki happened and my sis watched it first and spazzed to me how hot Izuminokami is (esp dat Ryohei Kimura voice) and I picked it up 6epis in? That’s it, I’m sold. I’m a goner. Then when the anime ended, I was super thirsty for more swordbois and spent like two hours fighting Flash trying to get the game to work, and here we are now C: I’m still in it for the hot guys LMAO c’mon now.
16. What do you think of the current maps? Which map is good for training/grinding, which maps do you get lost in the most, which map do you want to burn?
Can I just fight all of World 7? Tho it’s probably my fault for my swords not being level90+ or something but e-e I’m getting destroyed so yeah, that just feelsbadman :
17. Are there any game systems or improvements that you hope DMM will implement?
Eh, probably but nothing comes to mind right now. Haven’t been playing this game for that long and everything seems fine to me~
18. If DMM cooperates on an event with another game/anime/etc., what would you like to see?
LOVE LIVE or any other idol show (Tsukipro/UtaPri~) ‘cause the bois as idols is just (。・ω・。)ノ♡ I’m going to scream and then die happily. Like, AWT48 was super adorable and the guys singing the EDs in Hanamaru was super cute too?? So why not take it a step further and just have them be idols : PP
Also, any sports anime will be great too! Obviously, I’m partial to Haikyuu rn xD We had a beach episode, sooo, beach volleyball could totally work!!
But like, if it’s asking about stuff like that GBFxKatsugeki thing then uh, no answer because the only games I play are rhythm games LOL But, it would be cool if there was a FEH collab? o:
19. Have you ever spent money playing TKRB? Is so, how much? If not, do you plan to?
Not yet, but I probably will xD I want the other repair room and I definitely will need more space for swords. There are still a lot that I don’t have and with more new swords, I def need the space x3 better spending money on this than on gacha and disappointment lol
20. Is there any merchandise that you would like to buy or see?
Namazuo and Honebami nendoroid please! I know Namazuo has a figure but I like nendos way more :I’m getting Ichigo for Christmas and I already have Yagen so, making progress 8D
21. Have you done any fanwork? If so, what?
Not yet? I want to write fanfics but I’m super lazy and dead rn so maybe at the end of the semester and I’m not drowning in matchups that I need to do LOL
22. What do you think you are like as a Saniwa?
Definitely not like how I appear in my own fantasies LOL I’m hate people bad with people and am super shy and socially awkward, so getting friendly with the swords will take 5ever and uh, yeah? I’ll just be super awkward around them lmao and not know how to react and probably appear like I don’t like them or something?? While I’m internally stressing about how to befriend them and driving myself up a wall lol...
23. If the government asked you to choose a sword to kill yourself with in terms of emergency, who would you pick?
I don’t want to make any of them do something like this ((o(;△;)o)) I don’t know… ( ≧Д≦) My first thought was Sayo but like, he doesn’t need a burden like this?? Considering how he already is, >_
24. The government has asked you to write a report: how would you describe the situation in your Citadel?
Resources are running low, smithing just results in an annoyed saniwa so take caution. The saniwa also gets angry when troops keep dying and needing to be replaced = RIP resources some more, so more caution is required. JK It’s a pretty chill place? Idk how to describe it, so I’ll prob make Hasebe do it for me : P Papers are annoying af to write omg
25. What do you think of the Retrograding Army?
I don’t understand the point of what they’re doing and how they’d benefit from changing history but given how shallow the plot is, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It was cool seeing them in Katsugeki tho, especially the shit they did in uh, Edo? Like it seems they actually had a plan and stuff xD
26. Lastly, please say something about the TKRB from the bottom of your heart!
Idk what I’ll be doing with my life now if I hadn’t started this game and I’m completely obsessed. This might wane in the future probably, but in the meantime, I’m here to have a good time and enjoy everything TKRB has to offer and I’m loving it so far
ありがとうございます!
Bonus: What do you think of the KBC?
They don’t show up when I want them to! D
#Touken Ranbu#Nima#musso musso black forest#reply#misc#irrelevant commentary#personal#text#tag meme#ask meme#wtf tags do I ahve#this took a long while to asnwer LOL#but it was a lot of fun~#I'll never get tired of talking about tkrb xD#can't wait to see your answers Nima~
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AY2019/2020 Y1S1 Module Review
AY2019/2020 year 1 semester 1 review
Started school around august after orientation camp in july, and had to study after doing nothing for months after a levels and finally had the taste of the rigour of this major.. semester 1 went by too quickly..
Modules taken this semester:
CS1010S
MA1101R
MA1521
BT1101
GER1000
CS1010S Programming Methodology (Python)
Prof: Ben Leong
Exam Dates: 2 Oct (Midterm) / 16 Nov (Practical Exam) / 27 Nov (Finals)
Weightage:
Coursemology – 25% (25%)
Participation – 5% (5%)
Midterm test – 15% (-)
Practical exam – 15% (20%)
Final assessment – 40% (50%)
(those in brackets are for those taking alternative final)
S in CS1010S is for science students, most students are either science students (DSA/ Life Science plenty) or BZA students.
Overall this module easily had the highest workload compared to other modules, having to rush missions every week, complete tutorials (this is pretty standard duh) and lecture trainings before deadlines for bonus points on a gamified platform. One could sit at their table wracking their brains for the whole day and still not be able to come up with a feasible code, or have their codes stuck with some bugs and not knowing how to continue. Really, without the help from fellow friends this module would be hard to get through. Luckily my TA was kind (and patient!) enough to explain such that my brain could get it. Ended up having to IP this module sadly… This module really requires your wholehearted devotion and really tests your patience i must say, especially for people who are not too intellectually inclined (aka me)..
They introduced a new scheme this semester aka Alternative Final, meaning you get to retake your midterm and finals by tabao-ing it into the next sem except you do your finals during the recess week instead of the finals, kinda like a half-retaking a module? Your grades for finals are IP-ed (in progress) rather than letter grades and the finals and midterms will be accounted for in the following half a semester albeit under different weightage components.
They said its a introductory module, but …………..
This year’s practical exam was particularly hard i think i had friends (even the zai ones) getting single digit marks… banked full in on the Method of Life question (Q5) of finals which is a giveaway question asking you how you can apply the concepts to other parts of your life and your main take-aways from taking this module (filled up the whole page and got full marks for it 4m) without this question i would have failed the paper..
Now i have to work hard the next sem… its kinda sad for us BZA students because CS1010S is a prerequisite for those wanting to take BT2101 and CS2030/2040 modules in the following semester (y1s2). Future students (esp BZA) please take the advice to consider this when deciding whether to IP…. because guess who didnt and regretted not thinking deeper…..
Ah one more thing to take note is the weightage is quite different for those IP/ alternative final people, theres higher weightage for the papers :_D
Ben Leong is a pretty good lecturer, hes solid in delivering concepts except my brain may be a little too slow for him.. Theres also lecture videos online that you can refer to and thousands of papers (with solutions!!) waiting for you to do.. something uncommon for many modules i heard? also, you get to see your final (scanned) paper through a website, in ben leong’s words “how cool is that?” he also uploads the mark scheme for your reference which is pretty cool imo. He’s a very interesting lecturer.
MA1521 Calculus for Computing
Prof: Leung Pui Fai
Exams: No midterms, just an online quiz (4 questions, most get full marks for), and the finals
Weightage: cant really rmb the weightage but i think its 40-60? i think tutorial attendance isnt graded..
They said this was just a repeat of H2 maths with more stuffs well boy i must say this wasnt as easy as they said.. okay maybe for me, ive always struggled with maths for a really long time. Surprisingly got a B for H2 Maths, i got a B3 for O levels really the blemish in my results. Got a B- for this module. Many people will say this is an easy module, you can trust them a little different in my shoes i guess. I didnt turn up for lectures for the half part of the semester since he talks a bit too slowly so i just watch the webcast sped up. But being a procrastinator i’m really behind on webcasts by the time the exams came.. i think i spent too much time on CS1010S and its still not enough.. if you dont have the discipline to watch them religiously at home, i would suggest you go for the lecture even though he may talk abit slowly but it forces you to not miss out on them. I dont really had the time (is it i wonder?) to do the tutorials either so i was also behind on them.. most of the time i just sat for tutorials and took the answers down to only work on them many weeks later (much regrets) so i didnt really understood what was going on as the TA went through. please dont be like me… the recess week was for sure not enough to revise/ learn all the content for all your mods for both midterms/finals so please dont be lazy like me…. this is the suffering i brought upon myself TT
Overall i think. it is not that hard a mod if you do your work consistently.. things got a little confusing towards the end i heard they dropped a whole chapter this semester glad they did.
MA1101R Linear Algebra I
Prof: Wang Fei
Weightage:
Finals (28 Nov, 2h)— 60%.
Mid-term test (4 Oct, 2h)— 20%.
3 homework assignments (4% per assignment) — 12%.
An in-class Lab (MATLAB) quiz — 8%.
This was one of my most hardest period in my life and i say this on PERIODT. As if maths wasnt tough enough, this will really declare a survival of the fittest among your remaining brain cells. Friends told me maths came into their dreams… pls extinguish my soul. You must be thinking i am crazy for wanting to take 2 math mods in a sem right? ?
Yeahh no one really does that but it was my idea because i didnt want to do maths together with all the core core mods (BT and CS) next sem so i decided ah i should just get maths over and done with ( hAH real joke bc i couldnt clear CS1010S and i cant take 2k level mods for BT and CS and unlocked clown outfit because theres one more ST2334 core mod that involves probability and stats so much for thinking i will be over and done with for dealing with maths– someone tell me why did i choose this major again?)
Somehow along the way i realised the bell curve for this was surprisingly high i think those who chose this mod intend to delve even deeper in mathematics, mayhaps i joined the wrong major. The R in MA1101R actually stands for rigorous i didnt realise until my friend read the fine prints in the SOC Course Curriculum for BZA or sumn. Pure hell. There are 3 homework assignments (graded mind you) and most of the students get around 50++/60 i think i was the one of the rare few who flunked quite badly and always eyeballed by my TA (who is a prof for some 3k or 4k level maths, not for this mod though). I approached him for consults and for help and he was nice enough to sit me down and explain slowly. He’s pretty good at explaining slowly although he’s pretty fast in class (and most of the semester i had close to ZERO idea what was going on in class for pretty much most of the mods). Shockingly managed to pull out a C from my butt. The intellect of the students are no joke.. Homework assignments are every 3 weeks starting week 6 i think (so week 6, 9, 12) and i think are there to make sure you catch up with the work.
Oh lectures-wise, i sat for ½ of his classes, i really absorb almost nothing.. the rest of the lecture hall seem to get it though or so it seems. so i stopped attending my own lectures to watch the webcast for Prof Victor Tan too. His webcasts/lectures are really popular and it really owe it to his teaching, apparently he taught Wang Fei before and of course had over ten more years of experience. WF’s lecture turn-outs are comparatively less compared to VT. And on panopto (webcast platform) i think it was almost always 360++ views for VT as compared to a 80++/ was it 30++ for WF if i recall correctly. VT slides are also more concise and simple to understand where as WF’s ones are similar to the textbook. You are also required to purchase a textbook for this module costs around $20 from the co-op store in science and i urge you to purchase it asap when the profs announce they are made available bc they run oos quite fast.. the tutorial questions are from the textbook and the textbook is very simple and straightforward and put together by some of the lecturers/profs in school.
BT1101 Introduction to Business Analytics
Prof: Dr Sharon Tan, Desmond Ong
Weightage:
1. Online Quiz & Datacamp Assignments — 7%
Tutorial 1-4 — 8%
Tutorial 5 onwards — 15%
In-class Assessment (Written) — 10%
Practical Assessment — 20%
Final Assessment — 40%
In class assessment is held 2ish weeks after your midterms week so its kinda like your midterms?
Mm i would say this module is the most ?? its hard to put in words but if you read up the confessions page (NUSwhispers) regularly you would see many complaints that the mod is structured not as neatly as CS1010S its quite here and there everywhere and personal opinion, sometimes i dont know what i am supposed to learn but i guess its like that? The profs seem to value not wanting to spoonfeed and us learning on our own and stuff like that. I heard the mod was much harder in previous years and they simplified it a lot compared to in the past (which i really thank god) but its still a bit ?? They split it into two halves, first half of the sem is taught by Dr ST (Descriptive Analytics) and the next half by DO (Prescriptive and Predictive Analytics).
There are online videos to be watched every week even though you get lectures once every 2 weeks when Dr ST teaches and tutorials to be submitted to your TAs that are graded only after about 6/7 weeks. They leave comments (½ sentences someitmes shorter) and your marks received and thats about all so you dont really know where you went wrong since they are not marked paper and pen way. The tutorials are coding exercises for questions using the R language. They also used Datacamp to drill some of the basics of R for a headstart. Her workshop style lectures are a lot of on the spot learning how to code and stuff which i lag behind a bit because she goes a bit fast in order to cover everything. We learn new content via the online videos that we have to watch every week and theres quizzes for them too weekly iirc.
The next half by DO had no online videos (great!! and no quizzes!!) but weekly lectures and graded tutorials are due every 2 weeks(!!). There are still weekly tutorials but its only graded for every 2nd one, wow this saved me a lot of time phew. I didnt get to do the tutorials for those that are not graded but read through the questions so that i get a gist of whats going on, and somehow i really dont have the time to do it? CS1010S really absorbed a large chunk of my time cries. Finals was a oK it was not that bad i think. There are 20 MCQs and then about 4 structured questions? Closed-book with 1 A4 sheet cheatsheet.
Oh and the bad part about the tutorials are the tutors wont provide you with the model answers/codes so you’re really just on your own. You either get it or nah. :_D
GER1000 Quantitative Reasoning
Weightage:
1. Tutorial — 10%
2. 10 Weekly Quizzes — 20%
3. Project —35% (Presentation 10%, Final Report 25%)
4. Finals (28 MCQs, 2h) — 35%
No lectures so no profs, just weekly online videos and quizzes.
Tutorials are every odd/even weeks depending on the slot you chose.
Groups are arranged by the TAs beforehand.
This was pre-allocated for us so (grits teeth). Honestly a waste of time. One of the mods i neglected till the end to focus on other mods (which was worth it). The workload was manageable, of course (if not how to neglect). Every 2 week you meet together wiht your groupmates to discuss tutorial questions (each group will discuss 1 qn) and every tutorial class ended about 30min earlier. Nearing the end theres a group project report and slides to be done. Report is in the form of QnA so you just answer the questions and slides/ presentation is going through an article of a topic you chose (theres about 10) and you analyse the QR part of it what is good what can be better, etc. Theres also a bit of the stats part with probability and stuff but its a OK. Bell curve steep for finals (40 MCQ, 2h) but most finished in 1h and left the hall, i was one of the few who stayed till the end even though i was just staring at the paper into the depths of my soul for reasons unknown) It’s a lot about experiments not really the scientific/ calculations part of it but understanding about coming up with experiments, the pros and cons of carrying things out a certain way in loose terms something like the art of crafting experiments? makes you think a bit deeper how and what people think and not so dry i guess.
Epilogue
i guess thats a wrap–new semester starts soon :( i think this might be the first module/semester review tumblr blog but i hope this can be of help to anyone, to anyone at all. the owner of many of similar review blogs get really stellar results which i may be too out of league from so i hope this brings comforts to those who are doing not so well and encourage them because im not any different we exist, and we’ll survive.
CARPE DIEM 2020 LETS GEDDIT
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oh okay im going to do an ask meme and put it under a cut bc i am having trouble sleeping tonight and my switch is charging :(
1: Do you ever wish you were someone else?
i think everyone does at some point. i dnt have a desire to be a specific other person, but a different version of myself i guess. i dnt have strong envy targeted at individuals but a lot of sadness related to my choices and circumstances that have culminated bc of them
2: What is your full name?
i am not going to post that here
3: How old are you and how old do you get mistaken for?
i’m 24 (25 nxt month... that’s weird) and usually people assume i’m 20-22
4: Have you ever dyed your hair?
i’ve lost count of how many times
5: What’s your eye color?
very dark brown
6: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it
ive talked a lot abt this in the past so im going to reiterate the same things ive said abt it in the past – i dnt have an abundance of gripes w it cosmetically, but i have a lot of anger (esp rn) towards my endometriosis, and i see my body as an extension of myself. & i dnt like myself very much. so there is that
7: Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
i have a white ink tattoo of the neptune symbol on my left wrist and my ears are pierced
8: What would you say is your best quality?
i dnt know
9: What are you really bad at?
i can’t dance lmfao
10: What talent do you wish you had?
i wish i was better at writing, in general & songwriting. i’m not completely terrible at it, but i dnt have a natural gift for it and i wish i didnt have to expend as much effort to improve it
11: Are you nice to everyone?
i try to be but it doesnt always happen like that... usually yes unless i feel provoked
12: What do you think about the most?
usually stuff like “how would life be different now if i did (abc) instead of (xyz)?”
13: Things you like/dislike about yourself
i like my sense of style and that i can be very disciplined when i put my mind to it. i dnt like that i usually do not Put My Mind To It and that i have doormat tendencies
14: What is your least favorite word?
i can’t think of one but i rly hate “nourish”, “catty-cornered”, “crabby”, “folks”, “peck”, anything that can be categorized as “heckin doggo” genre babyspeak, “trauma” and “empower” bc they’re misused so often... and i rly strongly hate the word “h*rny” lmfao ive always thought it was auditory/visual vomit and it dznt help that the context is never good
15: What is your favorite word?
again i dnt have a favorite but i’m very fond of “eloquent”, “neon”, “incandescent”, “anodyne”, “mechanism”, and “celestial”
16: Are you more like your mom or your dad?
i look more like my dad but i bear very little resemblance to either of them in terms of character
17: Would you ever smile at a stranger?
it’s polite? why wouldnt i
18: A reason you’ve lied to someone
because i dnt want to look pathetic
19: Are you lying about anything right now?
im not being honest w andrew abt how conflicted i am towards him
20: Have you kissed someone older than you?
only one who was significantly older than me
21: Do you believe in love at first sight?
instant connections, yeah. love, obviously not... but i also dnt think the phrase is meant to be taken completely literally
22: Do you believe in soulmates?
not in the traditional sense but i do use the phrase “soulmate” to describe life-altering figures that ive viewed affectionately. but none of those ppl are rly in my life to the capacity they once were anymore. so like i said. not in the traditional sense
23: Are looks important?
im assuming this is in the context of relationships & people who say they aren’t are lying
24: Opinion on relationship age differences
they matter less the older both parties are, i think that is the general rule of thumb. justin was almost a decade older than me and i wasn’t too bothered by that. but i think i would be if it was anyone older than that? as for people who aren’t me... i judge but i keep it mostly to myself
25: Would you date someone off the Internet?
no
26: Have you ever cried over a boy/girl?
been doing it since i was 12 😎🤟
27: Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
default state
28: Anyone you’re giving up on right now?
myself, basically
29: Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
andrew but lbr they are not wrong to feel that way
30: Have you ever liked your best friend?
sore subject
31: How does someone win your heart?
if they make me feel less alone, like in the “i identify strongly w this person, and i like them, and in turn i like myself a little more” way. the “being around you makes me feel like a person and not a freak of nature hiding behind groucho marx glasses” way
32: What turns you on?
im not answering this in the sexual way but i tend to think people are more likable and attractive when they think critically, have a quick wit... a lot of nonverbal things too but it’s hard to capture what that is in writing bc i can’t always readily identify it
33: What turns you off?
same as above w the nothing sexual disclaimer. i hate recycled meme type humor and people whose entire personality is the media they consume (like adults who are weirdly into disney)
34: Do you get jealous easily?
not easily but it gets triggered by rly strange things
35: What is your definition of cheating?
in the broadest definition, intimacy that goes beyond the discussed boundaries of a relationship. but i also cant foresee myself in a situation where im going on dates w several different ppl again consistently bc it wrought havoc on my brain, so i doubt that’s ever going to be anything other than What Everyone Understands As Cheating for me personally.
36: Do you forgive betrayal?
more easily than i probably should
37: Have you ever been cheated on?
ive had my suspicions in the past but nothing that i was ever able to confirm
38: Have you ever cheated on someone?
no but ive come closer to it than im proud of
39: How often do you listen to music?
pretty infrequently these days
40: First concert you attended
cyndi lauper lmfao
41: Last movie you watched
i think hereditary
42: Favorite type of movie
any slow burning drama w horror/suspense elements
43: Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?
i can think of 4 things that i rly would prefer to be left in the dustbin of history but one of them wasn’t like Traumatic, jst stupid and embarrassing
44: Are you good at hiding your feelings?
i’d say i’m abt as subtle as a gun
45: Do you fall in love easily?
somewhat? i think i do it incorrectly
46: Do you think people say I love you too much?
i dnt think theres anything wrong w that
47: What’s your favorite holiday?
anything that’s an excuse to party w no gift giving obligations
48: Are you a forgiving person? Do you like being that way?
generally yes and i have mixed feelings abt it
49: Where’s the most magical place on earth?
south 17th street
50: What’s your “type”?
the details are fluid but i think my entire dating/significant crush history can be summarized w “people who look like they dnt know how to use power tools’
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1. If you had to choose, whiskey or tequila? Why? Whiskey. I feel like you grow out of tequilla haha unless you drink it ironically. I’m no expert at whiskey but I like it sometimes, esp during winter 2. While doing school work, do you take your time or do you try to get it done as quickly as possible? I prefer to take time because the quality of my work is much better then and I feel like I am actually enveloped in what I am learning or writing about. Usually during intense exam periods I find myself rushing to finish but it ends up being quite counterproductive 3. When did you last wear a scrunchi? Right now! 4. If you were a writer, what would you write about most? Creative non-fiction I think, I love that genre so much. But I think I’d enjoy writing children’s books too, I’ve always loved them so much. I like critiques and reviews a lot too, it’s such a great form for writing and I love reading that kind of stuff in the mornings. Academic texts are pretty amazing too if you find topics that interest you, they usually end up blowing your mind. Looking at your Haraway.
5. Do you sometimes yell to get your point across? Not unless I’m fighting with someone in which case I get riled up.
6. If you get a period, what symptoms do you get when you PMS? I get the usual stomach bloating and desire to devour everything IN SIGHT. My physical PMS pains are kept somewhat under control thanks to the birth control I take. However, emotionally I am a mess. 7. Is there anyone at your school with a cool accent? What kind of accent is it? Belgrade is not too diverse so most of us have a similar accent. 8. What is stressing you out most right now? Today is actually the first day in many a days that nothing is really stressing me out too much. Like I am feeling things and they are not all necessarily positive emotions but no stress. 9. Are you more smart and thoughtful or understanding and kind? Oof I really do not know. I think I am more so understanding and kind? I’m not the most thoughtful person but I think I’ve gotten to be a lot smarter in regards to this lately. 10. Who last asked you for a favor? What was it? My mom, to buy her some stuff from the pharmacy. 11. If you had to decide, what do you think people envy about you? Probably my privilege in regards to how I’ve grown up and the opportunities I’ve had, who my father is. I don’t what else, I don’t see myself that way so it makes me really uncomfortable to even think about this haha 12. If you want to get your crush’s attention, what do you do? I...don’t know? Just speak to them I suppose? Try to get to know them? I really don’t know, is there a strategy to this? 13. How long have you been single or in a relationship for? In a relationship for a year and 3 months almost 14. Are you closer to your friends or family? I think it’s a fair balance since I am really close to both
15. Do you know what you’re going to wear tomorrow? No idea, probably something similar to today haha. It depends on what I end up doing
16. Do you use white strips or anything else to whiten your teeth? Nope. 17. Are there any special events coming up? What are they? Nothing really specifically special, just nice everyday life things :3 18. When it comes to strangers, how trusting are you? Not at all trusting, it takes me months to trust friends or partners. Let alone randoms. I am always a bit on the lookout for getting hurt or manipulated. 19. If someone insults/makes fun of you, what do you do? Use my terrifying sarcasm to slowly but surely destroy their lives. HAH 20. What color do you think represents your personality? something like a pastel blue ranging to a dark blue or a bright, deep red 21. Would you rather drive on a long straight highway or windy backroads? Windy backroads always! 23. What is the fastest you’ve ever gone in a car? Not too fast because my driving is a JOKE. 24. Have you ever seen someone break their bone in real life? No, sounds terrifying though. I have never broken a bone or had any sort of severe injury in that regard so I can’t even imagine 25. If you got to choose an animal to disappear forever, what would it be? Why? Uh, the one in the white house. <– agreed! <--- Absolutely, claps to this kween <3 26. What are the keys of your heart? Animals, laughing, cups of coffee and reading, writing something not shit, love, love, love. 27. Are you sometimes a control freak? If one can be a control freak while also simultaneously letting their life spiral out of control well then that’s yours truly. 28. If you’re online right now, do you have an away message up? What does it say? Yes HAHA it says “Right?? How fragile can your ego be my boy?? Sit yo ass down” HAHAHAHA 29. Do you know what your GPA is? Currently bordering on 9/10 but I still have 3 more exams left! 30. If you got to pick any winter sport to excel at, what would it be? Skiing! I loved it so much when I tried but it’s so expensive to organize skiing trips. But I would really love to get better at it 31. Does it piss you off when people interrupt you? Yeah, it really frustrates me. I don’t mind heated conversations or debates where people speak over others, that’s fine, but when someone adamantly ignores you using your voice, I go nuts.
32. What event did you last dress up for? Who went to that event?
Going out last Friday night. I mean “dress up”, I just wore new heels I bought. Peca and I, it turned out to be a shit night but oh well.
33. What was the last picture you took with your phone? My mom sitting under a bunch of beautiful trees at kalemegdan
34. Are you a fashion-conscious person? Where do you buy most of your clothes? Somewhat! I love clothes although my style is actually very simple but I love it that way. I adore Zara, I am honestly adorned in Zara head to toe usually. And then I’ll pick up random things wherever I find them. I love Supergas and desperately want a new pair soon! And I like finding old sunglasses in local vintage shops and such 35. Do you have trouble waking up in the morning? What gets you up and awake? Nah, not really. It takes me a little while because I like laying in bed, scrolling through social media (sigh) and esp listening to podcasts in the morning. But is all good :)
36. What’s something fun you’ve done this week? Who was there?
Well it’s only Monday but today was fun. Just getting to this cafe early before my friends came, reading this local paper called LiceUlice which I love and it was a lovely day and leaves were falling from the trees but it was warm. Yeah, pretty ordinary but it was fun.
37. What’s the last thing you texted someone about? Planning with Petar what we want to make for dinner tonight :)
38. When and why did you last blush?
I’m not sure.
39. Do you currently have a favorite song? What is it?
Dusty Springfield - Son of a Preacher Man and Paul Martin - Le troublant temoignage de paul martin
40. What is one thing you and your best friend have in common physically?
We currently both have blonde hair? We honestly look so different physically so not much
41. Now based on your interests, what is one thing you both have in common? Political opinions, we both love terrible reality tv and rom-coms and she loves mystery novels which I am getting into now too!
42. What, if anything, is hanging on your refrigerator?
A sushi menu, a photo of me that my sister took, a bunch of magnets.
43. What is the last illegal thing you did, even the smallest crime? Probably smoking weed in the street? And crossing the street on a red light
44. How much did each individual thing you’re wearing cost? Not too much really, my shirt was on sale for 10 euro and I got my culottes for like 20 and my necklace was a cheap find at H&M
45. Is that the normal amount you spend on clothes? Yeah, it’s standard I’d say
46. Do you collect anything? Have you ever? Stones and seashells! I like postcards as well and mugs or coffee cups from places I travel.
47. What languages do you speak?
English and Serbian, a bit of Greek but it’s pretty bad (I can understand more so than I can speak) and a wee bit of Italian
50. Where do your grandparents live? All my grandparents have passed away. Wow. That’s really sad to think about actually.
51. When is the next time you’re going on vacation? Where to? I am going to Holland middle of November! SHOOK-ETH. To the Hague and to Amsterdam for a little little bit if we manage to organize ourselves :D
52. How well do you do in school? How are your grades compared to your siblings? I am a pretty good student at uni, I mean I try hard. And I could have done a lot better too if my attendance wasn’t so shit but oh well, YOUTH. My sister was good at university too so I’d say we are about the same. 53. Does your family eat dinner together? Who does the cooking?
Not really but we eat lunch together sometimes! So that’s nice. My mom usually but sometimes my dad orders in some lovely food
54. Are you usually motivated to work or are you a procrastinator?
Mostly motivated unless I’m going through a bad phase
55. Has the last month been really stressful for you? Yeah even though I technically haven’t had any obligations but I think that’s what has been stressful for me. It’s insane for the first time since kindergarten having this open space ahead of you without any rules or structure. It’s starting to feel liberating rn but was awful the past few weeks.
56. What do you base first impressions on? (Behavior, clothing, etc.)
Sadly I do base some of it on clothing and such. Not as a judgement, just that I think that style and such reflects character. But also just the way someone speaks and to what degree they are open, I have a good intuition about that sort of stuff
57. Who do you know that is a vegetarian? How about a vegan?
A few people and a ton of my mom’s friends are vegan, effing yogis I love them.
58. When is the last time you went out to dinner with a friend? Where did you go? Who paid?
Umm peca and I got wok (this thai place) last Saturday. Does that count? We split. 59. What was the last thing to surprise you? Hmm my mama bought me flowers today. Which was surprising because we got into a nasty fight the other day and haven’t really discussed it yet. But yeah, it warmed my heart a little bit.
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25 Reminders that Matter
It’s been 5 years since your College graduation. You’ve weathered a lot of storms already. Literally and figuratively. It’s convenient to say that “you’ve been there, done that” on random things and events, (and you deserve a pat on the back for that) but what you wouldn’t really want to tell the world is that — honestly? most of the times, you still get lost. That’s okay. Know that you are not alone. Yes, you should be able to stand on your own as a grown up, but in those moments that you may feel defeated or inadequate, please remember:
1. You are loved. Despite your doubts, someone out there, truly, sincerely, completely, wholeheartedly treasures your existence. & if this doesn’t make you feel better I don’t know what would. Of course it doesn’t mean that you’re perfect but know that you are enough, because you were made for a specific purpose, in this place and at this time. Never ever forget that.
2. You are a person of value. Regardless of your race, educational attainment or job title, you have your own worth. Whatever labor you do, someone is benefiting from your craft. Even if you lack experience you are a diamond in the rough. Find your strength and be good with it. With proper polishing, you will go places.
3. In life though, you will not always win. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, the answer would still be a “no.” And trust that there’s a reason for it. Everything has a proper timing. But do not focus on losing. Accept, and be done with it. Think how you could overcome it.
4. You will be exhausted, but trust me you will be fine. You have to wake up and prepare for work. Go into war for your daily commute. Finish that project that was assigned to you by the big boss. Attend your brother’s PTA meeting because your mom can’t. Buy groceries and cook meals. Pay for your bills. Wash your clothes. Renew your passport. Wait for a call or text that might never even come. Love someone who will never love you back. As a legit adult, a lot of things will tire your body, heart and soul. And that’s pretty normal. Maybe you’ve been looking for motivation in all the wrong places or perhaps you’ve been giving love away like it’s extra change, leaving nothing for yourself. Of course you will get tired. By all means, rest for a bit. Then hustle on. You may not function perfectly everyday because you are human but when this happens, remember that this isn’t the time to quit. It’s a sign to keep on fighting.
5. Did I say don’t quit? If you quit now, then it’s over. But if you don’t, and you get through this, someday you’ll be thankful that you held on a little longer.
6. Call for help when the need arises Try to face your problems head on, as you may. But if you feel like you can’t take it anymore, please don’t keep it all in. Let someone you trust, know. Because no matter how independent you are, there are some things that were meant to be solved with the help of another. Yes, you are stronger than you think. But sometimes you will be needing someone to remind you of that. Though true friends are rare, they will be of great help if you have found some. And your family. Your family will never leave you no matter how grumpy you are. Stick with them during the toughest times.
7. He’s watching over you. Someone mighty and great is walking with you, running with you, looking at you. Keep this in mind and you will never go astray.
8. Tomorrow the sun will rise, and you could try again. Today may not be so good, and you might feel like listening to Daniel Powter, okay, but first, breathe in, breathe out and hang in there, fighter. You were built to tackle this world, but do not expect everything to be flawless and perfect right from the start, because mistakes are part of your training and they are necessary for you to learn. If you really want something, you must never get tired of trying. Embrace the idea of sunrises as fresh beginnings.
9. Celebrate your victories. Victories no matter how big or small are effects of your perseverance. You are a work in progress and every step forward that you make is considered a development. Give yourself a credit when it’s due. Believe that you deserve it. Celebrate winning on things that matter. Keep those wins inside of you, so when the time comes, and you’re face with a disappointment, remind yourself how you were able to conquer life once, and trust that you will be able to do it again.
10. Invest on experiences, not things. Don’t spend money and time on material things for happiness. That kind of happiness is temporary and will fade away sooner. When you get so used to owning new possessions, it will start to feel like a norm. You’ll also keep raising your bars until you keep wanting for more. Rather than feeling whole, you’ll more likely feel incomplete.
11. Travel away. Finding what completes you, is more than a trip to the mall, it could be as long as a 2-day bus ride up north, or a few seconds of adrenaline packed bungee jump near the desert. Of course it would be different for every person, but finding yourself by trying on life experiences, like traveling – is one of the most beautiful challenges this world could offer. Yes, it is not guaranteed to be fool proof, there might be mishaps along the way but the journey alone could lead you to endless discoveries, new inspirations and amazing memories. Push mo yan!
12. Or simply wander around your city. Have you heard of the following hobbies? 1. People watching 2. Walking tour with photo taking or 3. Free sketching? Nothing is grand and would not cost you a penny apart from your snacks in case you would be hungry. Bring your own materials. Or bring nothing at all, just empty your mind to absorb a lot more in. Be a tourist in your own life. See how much difference it could make.
13. Be you, bravely. “What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?"
Thousands of tutorials and manuals are out there to help us out in school presentations, audition programs, job interviews or love confessions but none of these are specifically designed for every individual. There are things that can’t be taught, or learned. And sometimes, it’s not just all about what we know, but also on how much we want it. Whether you are running for the student organization presidency, vying for a work promotion, training to be a beauty queen, or asking someone out on a date, repeat after me: For brave hearts, nothing is impossible.
14. You can, and you will. No matter how much of an over thinker you are, fight the negativities and believe that you are capable of greatness and you can achieve your goals by praying and working hard. Just because some things aren’t going smoothly doesn’t really mean that you’ll fail. Ultimately, you have to swim for you not to drown. You have to swerve to avoid falling off the cliff. You have run to chase after your dreams. And if you do well, you’ll surely arrive at your pitstop in the end.
15. It’s never too late to dream another dream. "I hope you live a life worth living and when you find that you’re not, I hope you find the courage to start over.”
Wherever you are, are you doing something that you love? Are you doing anything intensely? If these questions made you hesitate even for a bit, then that’s enough to re-think about the path that you’re currently taking. Our lives are made up of choices. There will be good and bad ones. So please do not be afraid of change if you realize that you’re stuck in a wrong place. Listen to your self and go for the thing that would make you feel good to be alive. The world is full of endless possibilities. Dream on. Do not limit yourself to only what’s possible and reasonable. Maybe something out of the box would make you genuinely happy.
16. Commit. The word that most millenials probably fear. Do not follow the trend. Set your goals straight and commit to achieve them. Build your own travel bucket list and commit to save up for it. Sign up for a club and commit to contribute something for the good of many. Accept the job offer and commit to do the work by the company’s standards. Say yes and commit your time and attention for the person. Hold your words dear. Your sincerity will be your greatest treasure someday.
16. On most days, try your hardest not to be lazy. Rihanna said, work werk work werk work. No matter how good you are in something, no matter how great your qualifications are, if you do not exert extra efforts, you will attain nothing. Leave procrastinating in college. Learn how to schedule things properly, do researches and add on your personal twist in everything esp. now that you’re already the one in charge of your own life. Do that sales report before the week ends, go out with your friends on a Tuesday night, pack for a solo trip on your birthday. Think of your outfits carefully. Don’t wait for tomorrow. Get your lazy a*s moving. Now.
17. But on some days, it’s okay to not get up from your bed. You are entitled to hibernate and chill when the weather calls for it, when you’re sick, while you’re on a vacation or in cases of getting dumped. Sleep all day if you want. Allow yourself to heal. Re-think your purpose in life or something. Prepare for the next day with a renewed sense of living.
18. Falling in love with someone is a beautiful thing. But it is not everything. At 25, you may already have been in a relationship or two (hope not at the same time). And you may already know that while the inspiration that you get from your special someone is good, when not managed properly, love could lead to as far as you, losing your own identity. Yes, you have another set of eyes to get lost at, a shoulder to lean on, a hand to hold and another soul to connect to. But beware of becoming a more dependent person and do not lose your individuality by just thinking of "us” all the time, instead of “me.” Enjoy and nurture it while it lasts, but when it ends, please do not think that the world would follow crumbling next. Love is just a part of us. It shall never define you as a whole. If you haven’t met “the one” yet, fear not, for you have other things to think about while you wait. Take time to appreciate other things that matter. Start a new hobby, spend time with your family, ignite your passion & do not try too hard, finding your match. If someone’s for you, he will come to you no matter what the circumstances may be. Yes, you are the heroine of your own life. But no, a man will not complete your story.
19. You will get your heart broken. Get over it. Unrequited love, indifference and wrong timings. These will break your heart. The heartbreaker may not even be a bad person after all. It could be your best friend. Your role model. Your first love. Your long term partner. Truth is, feelings change and people go. It doesn’t mean that what you’ve felt or shared wasn’t real, it’s just not meant to last forever. Frustrating, yes. But it’s the way it is. Don’t worry, you will survive.
20. You will face sadness. You have to. There’s no immunity for this. And sadness, like love, comes in many forms. It could be as gentle as a song or as tough as crashing waves. So tighten your grip. But you know, no matter what the intensity is, or whatever the reasons are, difficult times will freaking pass.
21. Pour those tears out. Cry. Write it down. Use metaphors. Sing a song. Curse those lyrics. Watch a movie. Sob in the corner. Let it run down until you get tired and eventually stop. If you can’t force yourself to smile, then don’t. When the wells run dry, you will feel drained, but incredibly lighter.
22. Don’t compromise.
Would you continue putting on a foundation 2x darker or lighter than your shade? No. Don’t settle until you find your true match.
23. Look at your reflection.
Look beneath your skin. In your aura, do you see light or darkness? Do you see someone you’d always wanted to be? Is there something you’d want to change? More than anyone else, you should know yourself well.
24. You are beautiful.
You have your own style. There’s something in your smile that makes other people look. Your scars and broken bones differentiate you from others. Even with all your imperfections, you are still beautiful, promise. You are an art. You are wonderfully made and crafted. Don’t ever let the world tell you otherwise.
25. You can choose happiness. Plant your own flowers and build you own garden. For what it’s worth, pursue being happy. You have the gift of choice. Be immersed in designing, listen to your favorite music, buy that concert ticket, visit Ikea, finish a tub of ice cream, open a new book for reading, and watch the rain fall while sipping your brown coffee. Imagine yourself walking the flowery path. Imagine the face of people you love, smiling. Use your energy while you have lots. Celebrate your youth. Make the rest of your life, the best of your life.
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