#esp for a drink that's cold no matter what idk its not like a cold version of a hot drink

[harcove]

starbucks stop making my drink 80% ice challenge

[salaciousslut]

Ive never had espolon! Maybe i should try it with you sometime 🤭 same as long as im drunk then im happy☺️ and thats more than okay princess<3 i wouldnt mind if you took you clothes off for me, i know you could use a few marks all over your pretty tits<3

I hate to say the masochism falls in line with the cnc for me because if you fight back and hurt me I'll just like it<3 And fuck the dudebros, (literally if you'd like hehe🤭) they dont really matter anyway, theyre also focused on themselves, if they dont want to be around you i swear they'll just move, esp if you have me around sweet thing<3 our preferred exercising methods are very different but i'd be more than willing to take your lead and protect you wherever you go princess<3 and i havent done yoga in a while!! Its been years 🫣 but i'd follow you anywhere<3

You absolutely deserve to be loved and cherished sweetheart, youre literally so precious<33 i wanna put you in a cute collar so bad princess<3 but also i get it, being a kitten has such a cute appeal to it, but being a puppy is cuter, it also shows how good you are at following orders as long as someone treats you right<3

Tbh🫣 i dont like ceviche with fully cooked shrimp the texture is off, but its ok!! I sill get to eat all sorts of yummy seafood! My family's from coastal regions so i grew up with lots of fish and a ton of shrimp, and at least fully cooked shrimp is good in other stuff!

No i get that! I hope no one's been weird about race in your dms lately, race fetishists are weird as fuck.

Wait you really think we'd look good together, princess? 🥺

You are too cute<3333 chips and salsa are good! Whats your favorite kind of chips? I wanna know 🥺 Also wtf i love wings, im partial to mango habanero at most places! But i love spicy food a lot. And im also one of those weirdos that doesnt mind pineapple on pizza 🤭

I understand princess, its much more fun if someone else does it for you<3 i wish i was able to add to your orgasm log by eating you out sweetheart<33 I really love eating pussy if im being honest<3333

hehe yes!! i just got a mew bottle so ill open it with you!! plus u can feed me shots!! maybe make me a heavy handed drink. u really like my tits huh?? hehe if i were in my dms i would send u pics all the time (this is me gently convincing u to come off anon hehehe)

hottttttt i like struggling a lil because its more fun that way but knowing that youll like it too is really hot!!!

and we will take turns working out! bc lets be real, if ur lifting, i dont think i could pay attention to anything else!! nor do i really want to!! so we take turns <3

i get that! but yay for shrimp!! im also coastal so fresh shrimp and fish are my bread and butter!! yummy hehe

duh i think we would look good together babe!!! i mean look at us??? hot as fuck

i love anything that hot limon flavored!! thats always my go to but cool ranch doritos or sour cream and onion chips are yummy too!! or anything with dip, im a big sauce girl so dips and sauces are my jam. mango habanero is so yummy!! you have excellent taste 😇 see for me, i totally understand the flavor profile of pineapple on pizza, but i have a big aversion to warm fruit. i hate the texture and flavor of warm fruit so much. like fruit pies and cobblers and stuff? i eat it cold because the fruit taste more like fruit to me that way. idk its a lil weird but warm fruit gives me the heebie jeebies

hehehehehe eat me out then!!! im very vocal when im with someone its kinda embarrassing but i know people like that 🫣

[randombubblegum]

hi Sydney okay I’m just saying in advance I hope this doesn’t come off as weird but. im a little younger than u (24) and I unfortunately hang out in a circle of ppl who are constantly talking abt how old they are despite only being in their 20s and I honestly admire how fun and exciting ur life seems like it honestly feels like ur living the ideal 20something life instead of being like….well im not 19 anymore so my life sucks LOL I hope this doesn’t come off as weird but when I look at ur blog and see ur romanticizing ur adventures and just drinking and having fun and being young it really cheers me up lol

DUDE!!!!! T___T wtf this is so nice……… like im so touched youd send this……….. the thing about being in your 20s is you ARE so fucking young youre literally a kid!!!!!!! ive always been sort of the young one in every friend group ive ever had by 2-3 years and i think thats sort of given me this mentality that im young but the thing is i AM young. and so are you!!!!!!!!!! honestly sorry to your friends but this attitude SUCKS like holy shit theres no way to make yourself feel older than complaining about being old when you arent. ill make the occasional joke that im old (esp online since it skews so young) but i dont rly think i am……. all my friends are still out here having hobbies and interests and parties and get-togethers well into their early 30s so i think im lucky to know i can keep being like i am now for years to come lol……. honestly you need better friends!!!! -__- or at least you need to stop them when they go down that conversation path bc its a bummer and not true LOL

also thanks for liking my adventures >__< honestly its funny, i only post like one tenth of what im up to irl on tumblr compared to like twitter or whatever i just figure no one following me on here rly cares what i do in real life lol so i feel rly shy >< even doing that diary thing lately has made me kind of embarrassed LOL idk why tho!!!! i rly do have tons of fun in my real life!!!! its hard sometimes because i think i was having more fun before covid hit and i was free and easy bouncing between friends on both coasts like being a socialite was my job but…….. i have a lot of fun now too even though im 3 years older than i was then?? i still love my friends and i still love going out and drinking and being social in a big group of other ppl my age and going on adventures just because i can……….. i hope anyone reading this will keep having fun no matter how old you get lol :’) my happiest times in life have been after i turned 21 for sure!!!!!!!

listen youre not old at 20, keep the rose colored glasses on and romanticize your own life, surround yourself with people who make you feel young………. if life ended at 19 then id have died cold alone miserable and half-starved in a doom room bed. thank the fucking lord it doesnt

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[tanoraqui]

please write more for that au its SO CRAZY GOOD i need more... youre such a brilliant write

no knowing what this was about. Please enjoy character sketches of six generations of Watsons + a couple Holmeses, courtesy of this bit of technically-original-fic-because-of-public-domain. Still not sure what I’m going to do with all these people!! 

Mycroft Holmes, 1830 - 1901

Original incarnator and namer of Sherlock Holmes

Basically to see if he could. Incarnator and academic studier of spirits. Spark, and good at it.

(Death spirits aren’t very stable bc they tend to. Um. Kill the host. Only so much you can do to restrain the nature.

Mycroft concluded that that’s bc it’s always polluted by the fear of death - pure death would be more directable

He was right? Also, I guess mildly suicidal? And did a lot of trial and error in brief experiments in hospices, even a war zone or two, over a decade or so. Personality developed based on Mycroft’s, ofc, cool-emotioned but ever-curious, and an ego the size of imperial India

So Holmes was substantial enough to manifest more or less as we know him when Watson had a panicked moment on that battlefield

John Watson, 1867 - 1891

Bearer of Sherlock Holmes, 1886 - 1891

Dutiful, mom friend, selfless, kinda all or nothing, quick decisions - good in medical emergency, sometimes impulsive/reckless, mediocre shot except at snooker, reads for fun - especially once he picks up a bookwormy demon

Trained incarnator-physician

Summoned him in a terrible moment in the war in Afghanistan(?) in 1886

The field hospital was under attack, evacuation having been interrupted by unexpected enemy maneuvers, and Dr. Watson was torn between shooting on the enemy and trying desperately to tend to patients, but there was no way out and nothing but death all around. Nothing at hand but death.

So he figured “what the hell” and summoned a spirit out of that, bound to his own body ofc, and had him kill all the enemy. Holmes offered to take some of the death out of the British wounded as he did. A friendship began.

“Listen here, Watson - war is no place for pure death!” -some discomfitted superior officer, dismissing him from the service

John didn’t fully disagree, the easiness felt wrong - but it all felt wrong. And the medical applications…

But no hospital would hire him, with a death demon and the way he flinched at sudden noises still, hands that still shook 

Holmes scented a recent death, they interrupted a police investigation, impressed them with medical knowhow + death sense (passed off as medical knowhow for the moment?)

And That’s How We Ended Up A Consulting Detective 

Died in 1891 in the course of dispelling Moriarty, a life demon and criminal mastermind - fell off a cliff, on top of him, to injure the body so bad Moriarty had to vacate

Mary Watson née Morstan, 1876 - 1929

Bearer of Sherlock Holmes, 1891 - 1914

Sensible, dutiful, decisive (good in crisis, sometimes bad choices, esp. in anger), more aware of her own faults than John but also must work harder to overcome internalized prejudices

Took up Holmes after John’s death, to (vengefully but well-intentionedly) scour any trace of Moriarty from Earth.

Often did so with Young John on her hip, bc what else are you gonna do. Could’ve gotten a nanny but didn’t have too much money and (along with Holmes) was more worried about him out of her sight than chasing murderers with them

In the early 20th centuries, she started getting overtures from the British government re: taking Holmes to war and just, you know, fucking shit up. When WWI started, she and Young John quickly devised a Plan™

Young John Watson, 1891 - 1939

Bearer of Sherlock Holmes, 1914 - 1939

Eminently practical but secretly romantic, nay, Romantic™, drinks hella respect women juice, quick-thinking

His mother started calling him “Johnny” instead of “Young John” when he was 2, but Holmes never picked it up - to Johnny’s annoyance, bc he wanted to, you know, not just be his father. They had a full argument about it, Holmes refused the juvenile nickname, but did his best to use “John” for like a week before reverting. It grew on him a little, though.

The Plan™:

Basically, the govt had slowly come around to the idea that a weak and feeble woman was in possession (ha) of one of the strongest demons in England. They (she and Young John) were sure she’d be summoned once war broke out - indeed, perhaps she was, but it was more like sounding her out and she put them off. Can’t draft a woman after all.

But clearly they’d escalate, so…fortunately, John had fallen thoroughly and mutually in love with a young American woman, who didn’t mind taking him home at all - they’d probably beaten it around the bush a little, hypotheticals, and then this…there was a bit of a tizzy tbh. John nearly fucked it up, emphasizing that he was immigrating for Holmes and not for her, no pressure on her whatsoever. Possibly they didn’t sort it out until they arrived in New York - though this did have the boat ride to do it.

But yeah: Mary released Holmes, John took him up and left the country with the govt none the wiser, Mary continues putting off the govt until the passports were thoroughly stamped…

And then America stayed out of the war long enough, and idk if “conscientious objector” was a thing but I’m sure he found some way to put it off. 

Holmes did well during the Great Influenza, at least.

Buuut they ended up consulting detecting anyway lbr. 

Shot in 1939, possibly by sniper in crowded area or at least by gunmen in unexpected attack, on a case set up by Moriarty…

Gave Holmes his death, final order to get Jillian out of here alive. 

Amelia Hunter, 1896 - 1966

Moderately wealthy New York family

Visited her second cousin in London in 1913-1914, as well as the English suffragette movement (herself a part of the American movement)

Met and fell quite in love with Johnny Watson, with a cheerful dose of “your mother is so cool.” Cheerfully helped him and his mother con the British government out of a death demon, married him once they both got their heads a little straight

Jillian Watson, 1920 - 2019

Bearer of Sherlock Holmes, 1939 - 2019

I’m not saying she swore vengeance on not just Moriarty but the entirety of Nazi Germany whom he was supporting (for fun a profit, per usual), after they killed her father in front of her - for almost certainly the express purpose of keeping Holmes out of the incipient war - but I’m also not…not saying that

Nor am I saying that she was part of the inspiration for Captain America in this ‘verse, or at least for Peggy, but I’m not not saying that either

Slightly rogue incredible combat fighter who volunteers to go fight Nazis before it’s even cool? Yeah. Yeah. Some Peggy art just straight-up looks like her, once Kirby&Lee somehow met her

Jillian Watson. How do I begin to describe Jillian Watson

Jillian Watson is a superhero. Jillian Watson is a spy. After WWII, once someone in the army decided it was better to work with her than against her, she ended up in…whatever proto-CIA they were forming at the time

Also, got married and had a kid while still on semi-desk duty

Jillian Watson is known as “Angel of Death” in 40 languages in 95 countries. Jillian Watson liberated at least one Jewish concentration camp. Jillian Watson stopped the Cold War from getting Hot at least twice - and neither time involved Cuba. She was on vacation that month.

And Holmes, obviously. They had a very solid hot/cold balance - only one was ever emotional at once

Jillian Watson has kissed a KGB agent, killed a king, and met nearly every US President from Truman through Reagan. She liked Eisenhower best. Carter downright annoyed her, and she nearly had a shouted argument with LBJ, though they also exchanged a handful of letters

Jillian Watson probably helped bring down the government in Iran in the 70s

Jillian Watson was probably not a great mother. She was too busy chasing adrenaline and maybe glory. 

They liaised with the FBI, too, as it grew, and shifted to their Spiritual Crimes Division completely in the late 60s/early 70s, when age was starting to really catch up with her - a death spirit can keep away infections and viruses, but not the simple wear and tear of age and adventure

When the AIDS crisis hit, Marcus put them in contact with people and Jillian Watson once more became known as the Angel of Death, this time for bringing mercy

Retired age 80 (2000), under duress. Still did some consulting. 

Liz was an option, but she was already getting on, and maybe irritated not to have gotten Holmes before (and/or maybe growing out of that desire anyway?) Manuel was a candidate, but Holmes needed a lot of talking around - and it didn’t matter yet, bc neither of them wanted to be parted. Neither could quite forget losing her father (or hte original John Watson) and Holmes meant to stick it out, and Jillian had no intention of retiring that much

Eventually got some quite contacts - nay, friends! - among elderly in her area to engage in consensual euthenasia now and then. Supplemented by hanging out in morgues and cemeteries and buying and killing a TON of plants, and sometimes mice.

Went on a lot of protest marches in retirement

Marcus Watson, 1920 - 2005

Twin of Jillian

Gay

Settled down with a lovely partner (Henry White) sometime in the 50s in NYC, where they lived for the rest of their lives

Not particularly interested in the life of a consulting detective/incarnator. Didn’t mind, but got squeamish, and just…didn’t enjoy being in danger. John took him on a couple cases but Jillian was the one who wanted to go, to know, even when they were kids, and he was happy to let her. Born to be a house husband.

He and his Henry were fully exclusive, neither got AIDS - but they lost a lot of friends. Practically, he turned Jillian and Holmes on to the crisis, connected her with people who knew people

Jeremiah Fletcher, 1918 - 2000

Married Jillian Watson in 1946

Fell in love when she broke him out of a German prison in 1942

African-American

Elizabeth “Liz” Watson, 1949 - 2009

Free spirit, adventurous, thought her mother (+ Holmes) was the coolest person ever, wanted to be the same. 

Legitimately badass in her own right. Joined…same service probably? They didn’t want another woman but someone intelligent resigned themselves to at least having a Watson in reserve, in case they couldn’t convince the demon to accept another host

Though, why “convince” when you can bind?

And if there’s no alternative, maybe he’ll be happy with a proper agent…

Or there was one person hiring who wasn’t a total ass, eventually

Though possibly by that time she’d decided “fuck it” and set out on her own

Basically a mercenary. Expected to inherit Holmes when her mother retired. There were some awesome mother-daughter expeditions

Got having children out of the way early - one child, at least, via a random French man in the summer of 1970. Donna from Mamma Mia energy. Jacques SomethingFrench

Tension with her mother (and Holmes) grew as Jillian continued to not retire and Holmes…tried to look after them both tbh. Liz hated being cosetted

Heart attack age 60, slightly adrenaline-induced but relatively tame - hiking or something; maybe surfing. Died quickly in hospital

Therese Marquéz née Watson, 1971 - present

Resented being left behind with her grandfather (Jeremiah) or great-uncle or just nannies while he mother gallivanted around the globe, but nor did she personally enjoy gallivanting

All but refuses to carnate even a light or luck spirit

Ran away several times, permanently at age 18

Met a nice young man in police training, (him), married him quickly, had twins, happy for a while…until she got furious at him for working long hours, risking his life, not giving her the domestic bliss and picket fence life she’d imagined 

Also, he got along with her family, which she couldn’t stand

Didn’t even wait for him to come home, just left the twins with Manuel’s sister’s family and left

Has come to see them a couple times, called on birthdays usually, but in general is a mediocre person

Manuel Marquéz, 1970 - 2012

Husband of Therese

A Good Man

V aware of how the world is shitty but wanted to make it better anyway

Whirlwind romance with a beautiful but mysterious girl while he was in police training, had twins, thought he was achieving the American Dream until it turned out his wife was bristling with resentment and straight-up left one night while he was on shift

Prior to that, Jillian and Holmes randomly showed up at least once to see the twins, having heard from Marcus that they existed (the only family member Therese told; the only one she stayed in much contact with)

They got along great - he took her snappishness in stride, they shared a slightly cynical sense of humor and desire to do good nonetheless. Got talking about police investigations and procedure, he wanted to invite her back except Therese couldn’t STAND it, so they didn’t

But when he lost Therese, he reached out - because fuck you, but also, so the kids could know that side of their family, and by then Jillian had also settled down in southern CA probably? 

Dog person

Shot on the job when his kids were a year into college

David Marquéz, 1991 - present

Twin of Vanessa. Normal. Down-to-earth, B or B+ student, liked some sports, had friends, went to state college - Jillian offered to help pay for both twins, Manuel accepted bc that shit’s tough, especially two at once

Amiably disinterested in spiritual stuff - doesn’t mind, is more or less blasé about the whole Death Spirit thing - acts blase, at least; is actually kind of uncomfortable. But doesn’t want to be his mother, and so habitually doesn’t make a big deal of it, or of anything. Mediator.

Met a nice Jewish girl in college (Hannah Steinbeck) (himself tentatively, idly Catholic from the Marquéz side), dated her all through, followed her back to Boston to get a job…idk, something on computers. Coder?

Loudly insists (technically factually) that he’s the older brother, but to his credit has solid energy for it: responsible, stolid, reliable, Will fight if given cause. 

But also, DID cheerfully leave his sister to be primary local caretaker to their elderly great-grandmother and her death spirit, not long after their father’s death. Will put his hands over his ears and talk loudly while walking away from stressful situations

Strong-ish but apathetic carnator

Vanessa “Vinnie” Marquéz/Watson, 1991 - present

Bearer of Sherlock Holmes, 2019 ongoing

BSN from idk

Thinks SHE’S the responsible one, particularly after David moved to Boston

Got along well with her father; he always supported her desire to go into medicine to help people. Really looked up to him, considered that career - but he urged her to be more actively helping life than just stopping death/crime (wanted better for his kids)

Always fully aware that good cops like her dad are rare; kind of illogically despises the whole institution since his death

(WAS that, too, arranged by Moriarty? Question for another day)

Likes Great British Bake-Off but CANNOT bake; likes Project Runway and other fashion shows and does, actually, have good fashion sense (just insufficient money to fulfill it). Sews well. Talks to cloth like it’s a patient

Lesbian! 

Roommate is Darby, also a nurse, they/them. Together they’ll totally be like, *Leslie Knope voice* “Tragically, we are romantically incompatible*

First case happens literally in the apartment 3 stories down

I’m not saying she’s gonna kiss that FBI agent before it’s over but i’m sure as hell saying she’ll THINK about it

Also will get ⅔ of the way to telling Holmes to kill her and get the civilians out before backup arrives

[nordic-breeze]

I was going through my files and I came over this document I sent to my friend @distant-rain pretty much the same day I realized I had fallen in love with Arthur, after weeks of being in denial or shrugging off my daydreaming of this cowboy as nbd or thought experiments and boy was I confused. 

I knew next to nothing about RDR1 when I wrote this December last year and I didn’t know much about RDR2 post chapter 2 either except for Arthur’s fate, which I had just learned of, and oml was I upset and confused. Though also scaringly accurate about certain things.

Now over six months later, I love this cowboy even more. And I kept true to my word. If anyone wanna read the rambings of a fangirl who had just found her new obsession be my guest.

I was blown away by how massive this game is. The level of detail is incredible and I greatly appreciate the effort put into creating this world. Yeah, we’ve all heard about the horse testicles shrinking in cold weather but it’s not like it’s just one bizarre detail being essentially a dick joke in an otherwise average game. No, RDR2 is detailed enough that it actually makes sense to add in peculiarities like that. The amount of wildlife alone, I mean, ever since the PS2 era I’ve been used to seeing animals in games but R* created whole-ass ecosystems in RDR2, several of’em, from snowy mountains to marshlands, with animals that act so much like actual animals. Just listening to the birds singing, it’s like being out in an actual forest!

Characterization is another thing that amazed me, in particular the protagonist. I knew nothing about the first RDR when started playing RDR2, nor did I know anything about RDR in general other than it was western-themed and made by the GTA-guys. I expected somewhat of a similar characterization as GTA where every character is a stereotype or a caricature. I genuinely liked GTAV’s story for what it was and even though every character was more or less an asshole, some of them were also weirdly likeable and even earned my sympathy (and hint of affection) occasionally.

But it never really went deeper than that nor was it particularly long-lasting (still way more than I expected tho). I bonded with one of the characters more than I thought I would but not nearly as much as I would had the characters felt more like actual humans and not like the epitome of stereotypes. But it is what R* wanted and it worked. I expected the RDR2 characters to be the same but to my surprise the characters, especially Arthur, are fleshed out, complex, even relatable (depending on your actions I guess). Unlike GTAV, they act and react like actual human beings. Well, human beings that have lived their entire life (more or less) as outlaws. In a country and time period foreign to me. But still they felt human. Ofc I’ve not gotten to know any of the NPC’s as well as Arthur but from various missions and eavesdropping on their conversation I’ve gotten to know them a bit. Hosea is my favorite. He seems like a good man despite being an outlaw and I love how everyone goes to him for advice and how supportive he is. I also wish more people (esp a certain Dutch man) could listen to him more. I also really like Charles. He definitely got morals and could be a good influence on Arthur and the others. I haven’t seen much of Sadie yet, but think I’ll like her too. Lenny seems nice. That one scene when he and Arthur went out drinking together was absolutely brilliant! And lil Jack’s adorable ofc. Only one I don’t like is Micha or Miach or whathisname. I know no one in the van der Linde gang are saints but that guy is a total psychopath. I kinda wish Arthur had gotten his way there when he said they should just leave him in jail as he was nothing but trouble and it annoys me how Dutch is sticking up for him. Yeah, speaking of, not too fond of Dutch or that German guy either atm.

But all in all very impressed by the large open world, the level of details to well, everything and the characterization. Soundtrack is great, graphics are stunning, animations smooth, the horse-riding simulation is just extraordinary and you never know what’s gonna happen as you ride through the map. The amount and variety of random events and encounters are truly impressive. Often comical, like that wildlife photographer who keeps getting almost eaten up by the wildlife he’s trying to document, sometimes eerie like the serial killer side story, or sad like when Arthur met with his former love. Or a combination of said elements like the pig farmers I ran into. With no pigs. But were still veeery well fed. You know, when people are just a liiitle bit too friendly? That eerie feeling you get when you just know something’s wrong but you can’t quite put your finger on it. Until you can. I thought they were husband and wife I really did. You shoulda seen my face when I realized they were in fact brother and sister. Me and Arthur had the exact same face. They were living as husband and wife tho. Well, up until I killed them.

I also love the contrast between the more ‘modern’ world and the simpler life. I could go into town, buy food at the saloon and rent a room or take a bath at the hotel. Or I could ride a few mins out into the wilderness, hunt and gather my own food, cook it over a bonfire and sleep under the stars. Electricity exists, but people are still completely dependent on oil lamps and open flame. Trains and trams exist, cars have been invented, but people still mainly travel on horseback. This contrast between old and new as an era is ending and the modern era is about to begin has been an amazing experience considering the level of detail the game has. The colonization of the new land, which has been largely unknown to me, the contrast between this and modern-day America we see on TV. So many people did not even speak English, I often find abandoned buildings, or burnt-down buildings, some with bodies inside, leaving me wondering what happened to them, I found a ghost town whose inhabitants had been wiped out by a plague. It was tough for many I reckon.

In fact, I find the exploration of this foreign but also somewhat familiar, beautiful but harsh world and its many random events and encounters waaay more interesting than the actual main story itself, which is why it took me forever to reach chapter 3. In fact, the story is probably my least favorite part about RDR2, as backwards as it may sound. I’ve never been into western stories or aesthetics, and I’m certainly NOT into the whole ‘outlaws till the end’ stuff ugh. I fail to sympathize with the whole ‘boo-hoo the world no want outlaws like us no more it’s unfair’. Ugh, go cry me a fucking river. And then go get a job. A real job. Yeah, I get it that adapting to society is tough, life’s tough deal with it and stop preying on others. Wow, robbing two trains in short time and staying in the same fucking area actually has consequences, I’m so shook!

So yeah, story-wise I don’t quite ‘get it’ and Dutch is really starting to get on my nerves, which is probably why I prefer to just ride off alone and experience the world. I guess RDR2 story will rely heavily on being torn between gang loyalty and your own morality and principles but since I have virtually no concept of group loyalty that is all lost on me. My own morals and principles all the way. I’m like, ‘these people suck, take Hosea, Charles, Sadie, Tilly (maybe John Marston and his family) and leave these bitches behind’.

At the beginning, I did kinda liked Dutch. He seemed genuinely sorry for Sadie, took her in and saved her life, even if it meant another mouth to feed in dire times. And he showed Kiran mercy despite hating the O’Driscol’s. But as I’ve progressed thought the game, his grand speeches about sticking together, sticking with him, slowly but surely has turned from pep-talk to keep people’s spirit up to sounding like a cult leader desperate to keep his following no matter the cost. Yesterday when I was playing, I overheard him quote some quasi-philosophy book to Lenny and used the words to twist them into his own convictions to support his decisions. And when Lenny objected, Dutch literally said ‘you’re breaking my heart, kid’. Wow Dutch, talk about manipulating your protégé.

It was the mission when those lawmen approached Arthur as he was fishing with Jack that really made me consciously see Dutch in a new light. Up until then, RDR2 had mostly been fun and games but that conversation left me feeling a bit uneasy. But I just figured it was the main story finally picking up pace and also, I figured I was near the end of the chapter. I carried on, suddenly eager to see what would happen and was thoroughly surprised by how the chapter ended. In a bad way.

While both chapter 2 and chapter 3 begins with a ‘new start’ vibe, chapter 3 felt very different from chapter 2. Mostly it was that feeling that Dutch’s obsession with ‘sticking to this life’ is going to get people killed. Idk, it’s this eerie feeling something’s wrong but can’t quite put my finger on it-feel again. But thanks to internet being internet I already knew some spoilers so I couldn’t help but to look up something and… well, let me put it this way. I’m never going to finish this game. Ever. It breaks my heart because in so many ways it’s truly an amazing game and a fantastic experience. But I’m just not that into the story, I don’t like where it’s heading and I don’t want to see what’s coming to character(s) I’ve come to care deeply about.

I still want to explore the world more, see what unfolds, do more challenges, add stuff to my compendium, maybe get some trophies… but I doubt I’ll ever progress much story-wise. Quite the contrary, I might reload an earlier save and just stay in chapter 2 forever.

(wrtten a couple of days later)

Seems my instincts was right on the money, esp concerning Dutch. Sad thing, I do believe he is sincere. In the first few chapters at least. He is manipulative but I also believe he’s convinced himself that he’s doing the right thing. And then his obsession will eventually get the better of him and when people and the lifestyle is slipping away from him, he doesn’t handle it well at all. Ugh, it’s so frustrating, I just wanna gather all my favs and yell: “leave nooow, before it’s too late!

It’s not for the sake of spacing it out or making it last. I just don’t want to progress in the story at all. I hated losing Horseshoe Overlook. HATED IT HATED IT HATED IT!!!! Yes the new place is beautiful, yes I know it’s the life of the outlaws and RDR2 does show that life for better and for worse whereas most stories tend to romanticize the whole thing, yes as outlaws they can’t stay for too long in one place. But as mentioned I have a hard time sympathize with and immerse myself into that lifestyle. Yes, I got all my upgrades and a whole new area to explore, a bigger nearby town, and closer to that big city. Still hated it. Horseshoe Overlook was my place. The Heartlands was home. And the view was stunning! And I liked Valentine. It was small and dirty but I had good memories from there. Until I had to shoot up half the town. My motivation for continuing the main story is at absolute zero.

It was more what the transition represented, I guess. You never know what will happen in RDR2. And it’s true, for random encounters, and many of the individual missions. But when it comes to the story as a whole, I feel like I already now can predict how it’ll play out. Every chapter begins with the gang on the move, finding a place to settle down and have a fresh start, even chapter 1 (as they were on the run bc a heist gone wrong or something). Then they settle down, go into town to get to know the area and establish connections and looking for easy money, often at the expenses of others. X random events later, they get too overconfident or careless, screws up or get hunted down, it ends with a shootout, then they are on the run again, finds a new place to settle down where Dutch promises that THIS TIME IT WILL BE DIFFERENT until they’re wanted on the entire map and can’t go anywhere cos the wild west is ending. I really liked it at Horseshoe Overlook and whenever Im in that area again I’ll just get sad.

I had no idea I’d gotten so emotionally invested so I was really surprised at how much I disliked moving camps and all. I’ve also gotten so fond of Arthur. I was so busy with exploring, doing challenges, learning to hunt etc I didn’t even realize it happening. Until one scene had me almost tearing up! I think because, we as the player really have to look out for him. Even though I make sure that he eats regularly, he’s still underweight. When out riding I usually set up camp when night falls so that Arthur can get some rest. Something I’d never think about in any other game. And I always give him coffee in the morning. Then it’s his journal that gives such valuable insight into who he truly is as a person. There’s no doubt he’s so much more than just a mere outlaw. He writes surprisingly well and is open and is surprisingly honest about his thoughts and feelings. How torn he is between the life of an outlaw and wanting to be a better man, a better person. How he admired Charles because, for him it was ‘so easy to just be good’ whereas he himself always feel torn between good and evil. And his journal entries when he meets his long-lost love Mary and saves her brother from the cultists. The expression on his face as he said goodbye to her on the train station… how utterly heartbroken he was… how she still loved him too… man, that one tore at my heart. Still does when thinking about it.

I wish I could take Hosea, Charles, Sadie, Tilly, John’s family and maybe Lenny too with me, run off and start anew. Charles would have good influence on Arthur and encourage him to turn his life around and find his place in society and encourage John to be a better father and role model for Jack and they could all learn how to live as free men and women without robbing or hurting anyone (unless they deserve it). Like, Charles is an excellent hunter and tracker. He’d totally get enough food for the gang and maybe even enough to sell. He could train Jack too. Hosea was always more of a conman/grifter than a brute/robber. He could con bad guys or rich assholes Robin Hood style. If anyone gave him grief, John and Arthur would settle the score. Arthur could sell animal pelts and John could take up carpeting. They’d be such a happy lil family. But, RDR1 is yet to happen so it’s all just wishful thinking *sigh*

[rokurookajima]

i’m gonna do an olivia and answer all these questions just because

DAISY:  How old were you when you had your first kiss?

depends which one you wanna count as first. first technically, i was 15 but it was an accident. first intentional but not really desired i was 16. first good kiss was when i was 19

CARNATION:  If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer?

uh i really don’t ever go to concerts bc im pretty unexciting, but i’ll basic and say honestly lana del rey JASMINE:  What color looks best on you?

black, gray, and army green look good on everybody am i right FOXGLOVE:  Name three facts about your family? uhhh my dad was a theater major in college (this is a very weird and unexpected fact if u know my dad lmao), my mom wanted to be a cop in high school (this is also a very weird and unexpected fact if u know my mom), we’ve always been closer to family friends than my parents actual extended families so i have cool godparents instead of a cool aunt and uncle and god siblings instead of cousins  ALLIUM:  What’s the best thing you can cook?

i can definitely make eggs in various fashions  ORANGE BLOSSOM:  If you could pick the gender and appearance of your child, would you?

i don’t think so, but i also don’t rlly want children so i guess its not something that matters to me theoretically?? CALLA LILY:  If you died right now, what song would you want to play at your funeral?

annabeth will sing in the arms of the angels  POINSETTIA:  Favorite holiday dish?

dude all of it!!! i love thanksgiving food so much, all of it piled on one plate and u just bash on it all together it’s glorious   OXLIP:  Would you ever get into a long distance relationship?

i guess technically both of my relationships were long distance in some ways?? my first bf was a completely online relationship, and my recent ex boyfriend lived an hour away from me (which i didn’t rlly consider long distance bc i drive a lot anyway) but then lived in chicago the last couple months of our relationship for an internship. honestly i wouldn’t do another completely online relationship probably ever, and i wouldn’t want to have another person i date move out of state. but it was rlly no problem when he lived an hour away from me, like it was a little inconvenient but not bad, so i’d be ok with getting into another relationship like that PRIMROSE:  Favorite kind of soup?

i’m rlly not a big fan of soup??? but i like a good tomato bisque sometimes, like the really creamy kind DAFFODIL:  What’s the most thoughtful present you’ve ever received?

hm im not rlly sure...i feel like i’ve received a lot of thoughtful presents, esp from friends. bc like my parents usually get me useful things or things i told them i wanted when they asked?? but friend gifts are usually a lot more personal? which is very cool. so wow this is a copout answer but i feel like all the gifts i’ve gotten from friends are the most thoughtful!! ROSE:  Are you currently in love with someone?

ha wow i wish being in love was the best feeling in the world. but no. and it’ll probably be a while before i am again AMSONIA:  Would you ever become a vegan?

i once had a dream where i told someone that i wanted to be a vegan just because i really love labels, and honestly that said so much about my personality  PEONY:  What’s your favorite hot beverage?

coffee is my blood. i also like hot chai lattes sometimes!

TULIP:  For your birthday, what kind of cake do you ask for?

at my office, they get a dessert for everybody’s birthdays, and i usually ask for pumpkin pie, which is not cake but similar  MYRTLE:  Do you like going on airplanes?

yeah its pretty cool, i like going to airports more than i like going on planes tho i think. i always find those kind of transient places rlly cool, like airports, big highway gas stations, train platforms/subway stations HIBISCUS:  Did you ever play an instrument? If so what?

yeh i took guitar lessons for a rlly long time back in the day, and still play sometimes  ZINNIA:  Who was your best friend when you were six years old?

gabrielle!! and she hasn’t been able to get rid of me yet POPPY:  What color was your childhood home?

like the outside? idk about the apartment we lived in when i was first born, but the first place i remember was a blue townhouse we lived in for a year or two when i was like 3?? HYDRANGEA:  Starbucks order?

depends on the day bc unfortunately i get starbucks way too often bc there’s one in the library at school and thats what i live off of. most of the time i get iced coffee w soy milk. but man i get peppermint mochas whenever they’re offered bc wow those are so good the best seasonal drink VIOLET:  Do you like where you’re from?

yeah i really do. i like ohio a lot as a state, theres a lot of cool cities. the actual city i lived most of my life is a pretty shitty place and i’d never want to be stuck there for the rest of my life. but it wasn’t the worst place to grow up, it had some stuff in it, and its rlly convenient to get to a lot of bigger better cities in a reasonable drive. and theres some small charming things about that city, like the old money houses and places that i like out of nostalgia LOCUST:  What was your favorite book as a child?

i was one of those weird kids who was really obsessed with the warriors series....i loved those dang cats so dang much RHODODENDRON:  What’s the scariest dream you’ve ever had?

i’m not rlly sure..usually when i have scary dreams, they just have a really scary feeling, but not a distinguishable scary reason or plot i guess? like the most terrified i’ve ever felt in a dream was literally like a five second flash of a man standing in front of a fire, licking blood off of his hands, and laughing maniacally?? like i couldn’t tell you why that was so terrifying or what it meant but it was the most fear i’ve ever felt in a dream. i think i was 12??  QUEEN ANNE’S LACE:  Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents?

wow i haven’t carved a pumpkin in so long, so i think that!! MAGNOLIA:  Favorite kind of candy?

i don’t rlly like candy all that much, im much more of a salty person than sweet. but i guess i prefer sour candy to anything else  ASTER:  Would you rather be cold or hot?

cold, cold is always better than being miserably hot wowie MARIGOLD:  Do you listen to what’s on the radio?

nah i plug my phone into an aux chord and listen to my own music library  HELICONIA:  Do you like when it rains?

i love it!!! rainy weather is my favorite. esp like...rainy days in between when its actually raining? like its rlly wet and gray, but the rains taking a break so you can actually go outside. i love that shit  AZALEA:  What’s a movie you cried while watching?

um wow i’ve definitely cried watching a lot of movies but i think the last time a movie like rlly fucked me up and made me cry way too much was inside out.....and tbh idk if i’ll ever watch that movie again its too real DANDELION:  Do you think you’re important?

thats......such a question. like i know its a bad answer but not really. i know i should, but i don’t see a reason to so :/

[kahayaya]

2/24/2020

Out here in Privette on USF. P sure no one knows where tf that is, but iykyk.

Anyways I’m listening to EDM songs and its currently playing Hard to say Goodbye by Ekali. I seem to always stick to one genre every season. Last semester, it was all about the K-Pop, last summer it was all about J-Pop, specifically Aqours. I don’t really understand why I like listening to these types of music. I guess its one of those things that click with me at a perfect time in my life. I really don’t listen to the lyrics, when I probably should be listening to them. I mainly listen to beats. But anyway, the song I’m listening to makes me feel some type of way. I feel sad but also happy? The song is p much about what the title describes. I’m fine with how it is, but its hard to say goodbye because it ended off on good terms. This reminds me of Eren, cuz it did end off on good terms. And it was Hard to Say Goodbye. I stuck around for a while. But when it started to affect me, that was the line. To say officially goodbye. I’m not sad, but happy because it was the mark of a new path to take. So IDK, maybe I am listening to the song’s lyrics but some other songs don’t click with me, which makes me think I like a song that goes with a electronicy feel accompanied by lyrics. GOD DAM this sun is blazing and its a nice feeling cuz it was cold this morning. SOrry brain trailing into its own thoughts. 

I guess I can write down my thoughts on my current family situation.

 Lets start off with my parents. I think they are doing fine, but they are not at the same time. They are constantly taking care of my sister, who to simply put, a brain bleed from the drugs she used. My parents are constantly busy and stressed. It's sad because I always think of the conversation with my mom saying this is the life she did not want. She wanted to be at peace and for her children to continue with themselves. But nope, my sister is essentially handicapped and my brother is just barely living. I feel really bad, which puts immense pressure on me to succeed. But sometimes I also feel that my parents want me back at home. They want comfort from me, who is doing exactly what they wanted me to do, which is successful, while my brother and sister are not what they envisioned. My parents will show their unconditional love no matter what, but I’d say I'm the favorite among them. As for me, I feel distant from my parents. Short story for maybe another post, but with my parents, there is always the same argument being brought up, with conflicting on my mom or dad wants to run things. And because of that, sometimes that gets taken out on me. Then after the argument, it is like nothing happened and we continue. The cycle keeps on happening and I get annoyed, which is why I feel like I'm distancing myself, alongside the fact that I am becoming more independent with my life in SF. I feel bad, but at the same time its nice not having to face with that. I feel bad because they made sacrifices that got me here, which is something I will never forget and pay back. I’ll make an attempt to give them a call each week, cuz they are after all my parents. I think in another post, I’ll go into more detail of what my mother and father are like. But they are an interesting duo.

Now moving on to my other two siblings. First off my brother. I defs looked up to him when I was small. I thought he was cool and I was going to be him when I get to that point of stage in life. When I was young, I use to play beer pong with his friends in the garage of our house. I didn’t drink alcohol, but I’d do it with a soda or water. That was really fun. The parties were fun and most of his friends were cool with me playing. That was fun. I think my brother and I had a cool relationship. I didn’t really open up to him though, in a sense I didn’t tell him the details of school or the ones I liked. It was a weird way to describe what happened but I felt like a brother but I didn’t connect like a brother. And I feel about him the same how I feel today. My brother has def changed since going to college and when he worked as a nurse. My brother is now shut in his house working for like GrubHub or something who delivers food. My brother never tells me anything going on his life. All news comes from my parents. I never ask my brother often to hangout, despite the fact that we literally live next to each other by a 25 minute walk. I’m not too sure how I feel, but I know that we are not really connected with each other. My brother is currently trying to apply as a case manager for hospitals, but I heard he got rejected due to no experience in that specific position. So I hope he find a job and gets back on his feet. I also forgot to mention he is in debt, that my mom tells me that debt collectors are coming to him. IDK how he got there, but he was not money managing. Which he also took advantage of my parents when he was helped with in college. He said he needed money for college and his loan, but he’d be spending it on vacations and his ex girlfriend. My brother went through three relationships, all of whom I did not even connect with. My brother was suppose to get married, but it got canceled. I think that event really changed my brother and really turned him down. He never brings up anything about it, but its only up to him if he wants to talk about it. There’s soooo much more to talk about my brother, but all in all as of right now, he is in a tough position and he’s bottled up his feeling at Haight Ashbury.

Now for my sister. My sister is defs one I was more closer with, but at the same time not. ITs the same situation with my brother, but only last year did I start telling her more personel stuff. As a child, my sister was the one who was rebellious and always fought with my parents. At the time I was lost and confused on wtf is going on. She had cuts and scars on her wrist. She had depression. I was somewhat grasping the idea of what that was back then, but its more clear now why she did things. but my sister was crazy, again she had three relationships she went through. Her first ex was a homeless person, idk how they met, but he would live in our house. Honestly, he was a cool dude. He was the one who got me into gaming. Due to some complications with the relationship, they broke up. This person though got back on their feet and is doing alright now, which im happy for him. The next boyfriend rolls and he was a fucking crazy dude. This second boyfriend literally was a druggy and would smoke a lot. I remember my sister and him would play video games a lot and I would occasianlly join them in the MMORPG called Aika. But this ex was a bad person. He would literally steal my parent's meds, which were very addictive meds. We’re talking Vicodin and morphine kinds of meds, which my parents needed for their surgeries. But he would steal them and Im p sure my sister and them took drugs. FYI, my whole family was on pain meds due to accidents they actually had and spine injuries that happened. This person was crazy and not really respectful. I remember I was sleeping in my bed, and I saw my sister and him having sex. My room is connected to a balcony and as well as my sister’s room. That stuff was a bit weird to see, and at the time I was like 11 years old? Things happened where my parents kicked out this dude out of our house and things broke off cuz it was a lot. My sister threating to cut her self cuz of the fighting. It was crazy and chaotic. Years roll on by and Im in high school and my sister recent ex. This dude was quiet. Asian dude and also liked to play video games. This dude would never talk to me, it was weird. This relationship ended quickly due to him cheating on my sister. The dude was also a pedo too, he was dating a highschooler, who was not 18 and this dude is like 25 yrs old. WTF. but yea i think this post turned into a relationship analysis. I learned a lot from those relationships and I took into account when I was going into one. But its a different dimension out there in the world of relationships. And because of the relationships my sister and brother had, it really defined them and somewhat destroyed them. My sister turnt to drugs, especially Esctaty and was a raver herself. Which is why she is in the position where she is in now. Handicapped and bedridden as of right now. I don’t know the outlook on how much she can do now, but shes having it rough. I truly feel sad for her, but at the same time, she created this timeline. But my sister and I i felt like getting a bit closer to her recently, but then distance ourselves again. IDK my family situation is weird, and IDK how to describe it. Maybe if i layout the events, someone can describe my relationship with my familiy. But one thing is for sure, and that we all love each other, when we do call for something, my family will do its best to do it. But the friends I built here in SF felt more connection with me and resonates with me. More than I had with my family. Esp Alex, where I yearned for in a friendship. I’m about to start work in 3 minutes, so I’ll write later on random thoughts or something comes up. IDK. Peace out strangers on the web.