#esp as a lesbian. i hate that men still have power over me like this

[oomox]

I asked this man “is my anxiety lying to me or is it truly a bad idea to send this email” and he said “no you’re right, I’ll make the inquiry for you tho don’t worry” and now I feel even worse

i don’t want to face my emails today 😭

[birdbrainedboy]

I’m obsessed with this show and fear a hyperfixation anyways here are my thoughts on every character in the show

Edwin Paine: forever my favorite, even back before the show when I read the comics! I think it’s funny that basically every man in the show wants him? I’m intrigued by his character arc throughout the story regarding his sexuality as despite dying in 1916, he seems to have had time to slowly become more accepting of gay people (I’m guessing in part due to Charles, who is pansexual), to the point where there’s only mild internalized homophobia if at all, which just exhibits itself in him denying any possible feelings for Monty. I love how face-value and logical he is while still being a sweetheart

Charles Rowland: he has a pan flag pin on his jacket which confuses me bc can ghosts only wear clothes they would’ve worn when they were alive, or how do ghost clothes work? Because he died in 1989 and I’m near positive he didn’t wear that pin back there. Anyways I do love him but I wonder about some design choices, like the one earring (not sure why it just kinda annoys me). That was more a rant abt his design than his character, which I have nothing notable to say abt since I LOVE HIM he’s so real

Crystal Palace: sometimes she was a bit annoying the way she was trying way too hard to pry into everyone’s lives, but honestly that was just momentary annoyance since nothing could make me hate her. I love how her past was slowly revealed (as someone who already knew it from the comics) and how she came to terms with the person she used to be vs the person she is now. She’s so cool!

David the demon: honestly kind of caught me off guard at first bc the person I’m dating is named David but I actually enjoyed his character. LOVED when Crystal dealt with him in the end. He was very interesting

Niko Sasaki: I love Niko, but I have some problems with her character. First of all, I feel like ditsy anime-loving cutesy Asian girl with dyed hair is a weirdly common trope? But whatever my main issue is that it feels like characters who normalize the fetishization of gay men are so common. Like if Niko had been a guy obsessed with lesbian manga evb would be weirded out, so why is it different? If we ignore all of this tho I absolutely adore her and I’m actually praying she’s in the next season bc she was one of my favorites (esp her relationship w Edwin)

Jenny: She is so hot and cool and funny I’m in love with her

Esther: oh my god words cannot come close to describing how much I love her character. She felt powerless and weak in the past and now she’s become obsessed with making sure nobody has that power over her ever again. She was so fun and I loved her attitude! I’m sure she won’t show up next season, as she was the main antagonist of s1, and while I love her, I kind of hope she doesn’t since I think her arc was finished.

Monty: His personality was like 2020 “soft boy” who acts nice and dumb but is lowkey a manipulator. So obviously this kind of made me like ☠️ bc why is he acting like that… but I still love him to bits because he’s just a crow guys he didn’t ask to be human,, Anyways yeah his personality annoys me but also I love him so much so? It’s confusing. ITS COMPLICATED. I will cry if he’s not in s2

Kingham and Litty: I honestly thought they were annoying but I can’t lie they were so fucking funny. Every time they were on screen I laughed.

Cat King: oh my god. He is so camp. I love him. There’s honestly not much to say he is simply iconic. Love how he’s afraid to be alone so chases after other people, he’s so real AGHH I love him

Night Nurse: Ruth Connell the woman you are… 😍 she reminds me of Muriel from Good Omens, in a way, and I love her! I really hope we get to see more of her in relation to the guy in the fish, and see her get to better understand human emotions and why they choose to cling onto the human world rather than pass on!

[fitzrove]

Ajkdlsld nobody asked for this extremely long misogyny rant but

😭😭 why is society so shit w rampant misogyny everywhere (most painfully, from other women) skkslsls. Reading the replies on that makeup post i reblogged and being chronically online in general is pissing me off lmao

Disclaimer: lol obviously this is all intersectional, like there are lots of ways in which I am extremely privileged (white/European/from a stereotypically desirable "educated, trustworthy, well-behaved, high tech" country/cisgender/able-bodied/neurotypical/privileged economic class etc etc). Doesn't mean the points outlined below don't apply to many women in relation to men who are in their otherwise same demographic

Things that I like about being a woman:

- my body (well don't always like it but don't want to change anything djkdkdj)

- being a lesbian

- being friends with other women (is easier) & not perceived as threatening by them in random interactions

- feeling "special" in some situations where i'm trailblazing or achieving something in a guy-dominated space, especially when other people point that out

- most interests i have/could think of having have no stigma attached to them that would make it difficult for me to pursue them. also corsets and ballgowns etc femme goth fashion pieces being societally 100% acceptable for me to wear in some situations and not even fringe

Things I don't like about being a woman:

- sexual harassment

- being talked over

- wage and employment discrimination

- basic misogyny shit like being expected to have children and take responsibility for all the people around you

- violent heteronormativity (obviously still hurts non straight men but hurts women more because the world feels so entitled to our bodies)

- having to worry about straight guy friends and acquaintances (esp classmates)' intentions (sadly its not stigmatised enough for people to be pushy w women so i get scared pre-emptively :/)

- SOCIETAL EXPECTATIONS FOR APPEARANCE AND COERCIVELY ENFORCED GENDER CONFORMING FEMININITY GRAAHHHHH going to kill every fashion beauty health etc company :) i don't care if doing it makes you personally happier or more confident you know where else conformity makes you powerful? politically oppressive dictatorships<3

- women friends (classmates) whose idea of girl talk is to alternately complain about and fawn over men through a sexual/romantic lens and evaluate them as potential partners, and who take my refusal to participate in this as personal rejection/rudeness and pull away from me as a friend because of it

- existence being political 24/7. no i cant ignore that its just always there

- dating (thats shit for everyone but there are specific annoying lesbian dating experiences such as: MEN EVERYWHERE not just unicorn seeker couples but he/him guys on women's apps, astrology truthers, people with bad haircuts HDJJDJD sorry i'm so mean i just hate the "berlin fringe" soooo much, etc.) and the chance that people you meet won't even take dating you seriously because society prioritises f/m so hard. its messed up because it presupposes unequal division of labour but i wish i could be like an esteemed jrr tolkien type 1950s professor and just be super in love with my wife with whom i'm settled down somewhere picturesque. But I don't think you can get a relationship like that as a queer woman because 1) obviously equality lol idk who even wants that and is not a tradwife 😭💀 2) most women who would like that probably don't think a female partner can give them that :/. Girlies literally be yearning for the masculine societal role because of the associated privileges

- Men being inherently perceived as "good guys" "chill" etc. in mixed academic/professional environments and always taken seriously intellectually, women seen in a more patronizing way/easily perceived as hysterical/a bitch/deficient in some other way

- men being praised to high heavens for doing the bare minimum vs women being always expected to be outstanding people by default

- pick me girl/not like other girls/etc discourse. This keeps happening and nobody ever learns that its dumb 😭

- men being seen as better deeper artists and male historical figures/intellectuals holding universal appeal whereas women rarely got to do anything interesting OR if they did they always get diminished and ignored (largely because media doesn't pick up these stories to highlight). none of you would care about crown prince rudolf if she had been a girl irl and i wouldn't either because often w female historical figures we're expected to care first and foremost about their romantic relationships with men💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 if girls have thoughts about foreign policy 1) they usually couldnt voice them before like 1900s 2) their entire existence and life story from cleopatra to margaret thatcher (yeah evil person but still) is tinged by misogyny from all sides (opponents, allies) which makes for pretty unappealing Content to engage with

- periods LMAO

- strangers feeling entitled to bump into me and get in my personal space (public transport etc)

- the way some feminist activism treats women as a monolith. like all that discourse about how society is not built for women's tiny fragile bodies. Like yeah important point ofc but I fucking hate being erased from existence as a tall woman. you bet if this was being done to short men there would be outcry

- in general people feeling entitled to me and receiving help and advice from me without giving anything in return. sorry i feel like this is just turning into a vaguepost abt classmates

- online queer discourse where there seems to be not a lot of space for this line of thinking that I have?? This is NOT intended as transphobic or even directed at trans people (rather the general community), but sometimes i feel like only trans people are ""entitled"" to hate their pre-transition assigned social role and everyone else has to like it because #girl power and otherwise it's just internalized misogyny or at the very least you misogynistically hating other women for being happy with their position/choices

- i'm tired of typing this is such an embarrassing post tbh

[busghost]

Hi. Off topic, but: someone on twitter said Mihoyo hates women, comparing Ganyu's trailer and Xiao's. That Xiao's trailer was "badass" and most they talked about Ganyu in her trailer was about her sleep habit. Ganyu is half adeptus while Xiao is an adeptus, kinda like a mythical powerful creature in Genshin's world, so she should be depicted as such too (powerful), but apparently since "Mihoyo hates women" they didn't show her badass side, and not only that, they couldn't give her a meaningful, deep trailer.

I couldn't stop thinking about Honkai, and that I think her statement isn't true. Right, Genshin is not Honkai. But if Mihoyo hates women, it'd be shown in all their games, wouldn't it?

In my opinion, there's a certain amount of fan service, something that I dislike in both games, and there's things they could do better when representing women, but still, to say that they hate women? Because a character trait is emphasized, does not mean that it is the only trait of the character...

Her tweet has more than 1,5K of likes. So many people agree with that?

I feel out of place, "defending" Mihoyo, a company that creates wonderful games, but at the end of the day it is still a company that wants your money...

So, in general: I think criticism is valid and it's good so Mihoyo can become a better company, I just don't agree with her opinion and wanted to see other point of view, when comparing Mihoyo's other games.

In your opinion, when having Honkai girls in your mind, is it true that Mihoyo hates women?

Firstly I’d like to say this.

Rather than be the Purity Police expecting perfection and constantly being disappointed or infuriated, I can recognize that something has plenty of flaws, but still has other merits and enjoy it. You can think parts of something are bad but still enjoy the whole.

To actually get started.

It’s hard to say anything about mihoyo as a whole because there are many teams at the company. The Honkai team, GGZ team, Genshin team, AI research group, that first-person shooter in development, their otome game, and other projects I’m sure I don’t know about.

I can only give my opinion based on my experience with Honkai Impact because I only played a few hours of GGZ and Genshin and just didn’t like the gameplay.

As for my take on that Genshin statement of hating women. I think it’s only a problem if it’s consistently happening to every female character. If they only advertised men as badass and then women on other traits that would probably be showing some favoritism for their male characters, or sexism rather if they showed the women as incapable of the same things as the men. There’s nothing wrong with advertising a character on their different traits I don’t think. You can’t advertise every character as being the most badass, that’d get boring.

But I don’t think I know enough about what happens in the Genshin community or Genshin itself to comment on what happens over there.

But I do know a lot about Honkai Impact and the Honkai community here, I’ve lurked on Reddit, seen plenty of youtube, and spent one terrifying moment on Amino.

So at the beginning (of Honkai), there was a lot of bad fanservice-y stuff that I really didn’t like, we could go on but I’ll just show you these pre-release Mei designs.

In-game on the left, pre-release on the right. 

In short, it wasn’t good. But they changed them so I can commend them for that, but these images are representative of some of the stuff that was in the game earlier. I am split on how if you touched the characters in inappropriate places on the bridge they’d kill you and log you out of the game. It is funny but probably not something that should’ve existed in the first place.

So there were definitely some bad approaches they took to the characters, but over time this started to change and I’m not sure what happened. I’m guessing that they really came to love and respect their characters as people rather than caricatures they could sell?

Don’t get me wrong, they are still trying to sell you something but it seems like ever since Honkai Impact began they’ve done so much better over time portraying women in their media as characters and selling the story they are part and the people they are of rather than selling you on fanservice of their boobs or other such silliness.

Sure outfits may be revealing still but they make sense and are overall super cool. They make the characters look amazing/powerful/beautiful without shoving them out of character or reducing them to sex objects. For example, the Herrscher of Thunder battlesuit is revealing, no arguing that, but it makes her look so powerful and awesome.

There are still bad ones, they aren’t perfect and their target demographic is people who are really into anime so sometimes nonsense sells. Looking at you, HoT outfits and Succubus outfits.

Even a character like Himeko or Rita isn’t out of character when she has mostly revealing outfits because it can come down to whether she is being sexy vs being made a sexual object. And sometimes they do cross that blurry line into “haha anime titties pls buy”.

The comics are a great example of their improvement, the first volume has a ridiculous amount of inappropriate angles with panty-shots and and idiot focus on boobs. You look at recent manga, esp after they switched the artstyle/artists there is none of that.

This wasn’t asked about but I’d like to discuss it too, the wlw representation in Honkai Impact is fantastic even working in the restraints of CN gov’t censorship. I don’t care if they meant for it to be or if they’re just trying to get my money, these characters feeling like people in love, for better and for worse, in healthy and unhealthy relationships. These aren’t stories about lesbians coming out or how hard it can be to be queer. These women are just in love and they explore the dynamics of that love just as they would for any straight characters. But my girlfriend wrote a much better post about this subject so I’ll link that if you want to read more.

I’m not sure if I worded this exactly how I wanted to but

I can’t speak for Genshin Impact but really believe the Honkai team at mihoyo at least loves and respects the women they write in their stories.

[mydoorin]

this is long and made for no one but myself

I like certain aspects of C1, and a lot of Vox Machina is endearing and wonderful, but I find all of the first campaign really hard to watch

From a player and a DM perspective I just cannot watch a 5 1/2 long episode with half the cast yelling over each other and the other half doing world-breaking shit. I know there was a sort of loosey-goosey transition between their Pathfinder homegames and 5e, and Matt and Taliesin are used to editions older than 4th even, but there were a lot of times when I felt basic rules got swept under the rug for Vax and Percy but were unfairly or even sometimes incorrectly applied to Keyleth and Vex. Vax literally broke the game multiple times, and I know a lot of the campaign was like Matt’s gift to Liam, but it’s a campaign with 8 of your friends that you’re now producing as a show so it can’t just be about the one guy anymore. No one likes playing D&D where one character is literally touched by fate and can move 120 feet and doing 5 attacks a round. even if the rest of the team are like, high level barbarians fighters and spellcasters it feels unbalanced and it isn’t fun to watch.

a lot of the combat mechanics in C1 feel sloppy too, in terms that PCs didnt know their own character abilities or had a misunderstanding of how Action-Bonus Action-Reaction 5e combat works. It’s not really anyone’s fault, that happens when you change game systems, but to the point that I actually skip combat scenes, which unfortunately can be like a majority of the episode (and have really important character moments, like death). the Kraken fight comes to mind (there aren’t 40 feet fast eels Keyleth I’m sorry), it felt like Grog had the best grasp on his character’s mechanics and goals, and I was yelling at the screen for the other PCs to look at their character sheets. i dont know why Keyleth wasnt a water elemental to start or why Vax didn’t spend all his time stealth-investigating for the lodestones or why Percy didnt think to try luring the beast or talking to it or why Vex didn’t- actually Vex did everything she could Rangers have massive drawbacks. But!! These are issues I have with VM in most fights, theyve gotten better in their level 20 one shots, but still there I want them to please read their character sheets, bc Keyleth is an archdruid who doesnt use spell components anymore and can cast from Wild Shape and that’s tight as hell. Vex’s character mechanics still suck at level 20 but that is not her fault at all 5e literally just hates Rangers. And can we talk about that? Why do Rangers not get half the shit other classes get? How come Rangers have to wait until level 17 to use hide as a bonus action? Rogues get that at 2nd level. Anyway.

I think another part of it comes from player experience, and what kind of PCs are and are not fun to have at the table. Personally I dont like the fate touched concept, I don’t have fun as a player when one character is designed from the start to be more special and important, esp when that character talks about hating it so much all the time. TBH I don’t know why Vax is such a shit about the Raven Queen deal it seems like you got something no one else has ever gotten (she let you have your sister back bro) and you literally signed up for this. A God is giving you Special Awesome God Powers that make you more of a terrifying game breaking monster and you’re gonna keep calling the Raven Queen a bitch? for what? because you didn’t check for traps? because you didnt have a spellcaster that could use telekinesis? what about that situation wasnt entirely character choices lmao

betwen Vax and Percy (dont get me started on Mr. I Know Better Than Everyone, i really fucking hate PCs like that and i will fight about my distaste for percival von frankenstein monsterenergydrink the third) there are a lot of moments in C1 that aren’t fun to watch bc I know they arent fun for everyone at the table to play. it can be really cool to watch someone else’s backstory unfold, but if that’s all you’re doing it’s super easy to check out (I dont think it’s an RP decision when Grog has no idea what’s happening, I too haven’t been listening to Percy argue about this inconsequential thing to no one in particular) think of all the early C2 Caleb-Beau moments when it was clear half the tabl wasn’t paying attention, and how quickly that was resolved after people voiced their opinions on it (Matt for sure talked to them about dominating RP and making too many smaller moments that leave out the rest of the table, I wish a certain wizard would take it to heart), but that didnt feel like a conversation anyone had during the first campaign.

maybe it’s because i didnt watch C1 live or because I watched C2 first, but I have- not even a preference really a deference to the Mighty Nein. I think they’re more fun, more entertaining to watch, more emotionally involved and driven, better developed and created, better in all aspects, smarter and funnier and sexier than Vox Machina. I dont care about high fantasy stories with legendary heroes that are basically gods that is such a boring way to play D&D, I want the dumbass characters to use and magic to play pranks on local shopkeepers and i want the lesbians to have a slow burn romance.

I dont even wanna touch on C1 romance bc like, gag me with a spoon I don’t like the way Kashaw or Vax interact with Keyleth theyre both so fucking annoying. Idk why men cant be normal and talk to the fantasy girl they have a fantasy crush on, but Fjord managed just fucking fine.

i need to go back to sleep but in essence my opinions are that C1 was a classic 1980s D&D campaign that would have made Gary Gygax proud. And now that D&D is a lot better than it was in the 80s, more accessible and a lot less shitty, we can have cool modern fantasy stories that expect more from PCs, DMs, and the audience. We can do cooler, better things than we used to, and the structure of 5e actually helps facilitate more roleplaying between characters. The 5e PHB has whole sections devoted to roleplaying your character, and now Tasha’s gives everyone a way to get rid of stupid racist features and make your characters cooler. I’m really happy to see the progession of both WOTC and Critical Role into better, cooler, more awesome and less shitty versions of themselves (this isnt a WOTC defense post im not a shill they should pay the Dragonlance writers)

[klug]

rafisol and/or aya :)

I LOVE YOU FOR SENDING ME THIS COMBINATION.

Rafisol

Sexuality Headcanon: (bass-boosted) Lesbian. Gender Headcanon: She’s a girl but also not really but also yes. She’s like a genderless girl which maybe doesn’t make sense but it does to her! Gender is void left girl A ship I have with said character: AllySol :-) Ally’s love literally fueled her existence and if that is not gay idk what is A BROTP I have with said character: UHHM Doppelganger Arle and Strange Klug TBQH. I think they’re all super interesting and would probably have a lot to say about like, personhood, but Rafisol is the only one out of this trio that isn’t depressed she’s just alexithymic. So sometimes she doesn’t understand why Doppel and Aya have so much like...angsty baggage she’s just like...well I am an evil existence who clearly, shouldn’t feel things and shouldn’t be able to give love, all I was “created” to do was take, if I was created. Not like she takes things at face value but I think she doesn’t have much motivation of her existence outside of its intended context, while Doppel and Aya both...existed before as “whole” people? Rafisol conversely has never really been a “whole” person and understands she wasn’t “designed” to be a “whole person” so she doesn’t see the point in longing for something that’s outside of her perceived existence? Most of her #angst comes from not really knowing if she can give love because it hasn’t ever been shown to her, at least not until Ally came into her life. A NOTP I have with said character: No Men all my homies hate men In all seriousness I don’t really have one I just don’t see her with anyone but Ally A random headcanon: After the events of Chronicle Rafisol uses her powers to dimension hop with Ally and they travel to a lot of different places! She also starts dressing differently to differentiate herself from Ally since she starts to understand her own identity a bit better, imo she cuts her hair so she loses the characteristic curls but she likes short hair General Opinion over said character: WASTED POTENTIAL. OF COURSE, this is a given for most characters... that I really like, so... yeah. I mean I talked about it earlier but I think she didn’t feel as threatening as the game made her seem, so if she had more of an influence on the plot it would’ve been  interesting.

Aya/Strange Klug

Sexuality Headcanon: she’s bi but i don’t really think about her sexuality too much honestly Gender Headcanon: Girl but like if it was evil (she/her or they/them pronouns) A ship I have with said character: AyaSig and AyaKlug... A BROTP I have with said character: AyaSchezo is really funny and one ship I have in an AU? uhh also Aya and Rafisol like I said in the last part, and AyaAmi is really cute I think they could be friends esp. because Amitie reminds her so much of her old friend from before her sealing ;___;!!!!!!! OH and Aya and Feli because one of my friends said Aya acting like a guiding figure to Feli, in like, understanding that fate isn’t always absolute... good shit A NOTP I have with said character: Idk if I have any uh I’ve seen AyaRaffi before which I don’t really like I think they’d be friends more than any. A random headcanon: She/The Record of Sealing used to be in the possession of Lemres’s family but when he was like, old enough to start doing things without his family hovering over his shoulder he donated the book to the Primp Town library in hopes that Akuma would be able to help her, or that she’d be able to find a way to like...accept being how she is now? So they’re actually friends/have history together but Lemres doesn’t really tell anyone this. General Opinion over said character: I miss her :( I think people reduce her character alot when her backstory is really tragic and her conflict is like, frankly a good philosophical question about if you split a “person”/soul in half are the halves still one person or are they their own thing? So? She’s kind of...fascinating to me in that regard

[serenagaywaterford]

@volatilelovers​ replied to your photoset “ok so like i had a totally other purpose cos it was about me walkin...”

Ok 1) bra deets 2) I want ur dog I'm sorry I just I want to steal him 3) is this like no make up challenge? Hashtag real lesbian bodies? The airbrushing drives me nuts and soooo much so called lesbian content on tumblr is not realistic and therefore kinda lame imo but it's better than nothing. An embodiment person I follow started a series where ppl send in photos of different parts of their own body and idk this remind me of that. That and thirst trap obviously lmao

1) Puma! from Winners lol. It is SO comfy, ngl. The cups are those annoying bikini type removable ones and they can shift a bit but it’s nice and tight, but not too tight. I mean, Puma don’t make the most long-lasting, durable undies but they’re nice while they last. 

https://www.amazon.com/PUMA-Womens-Seamless-Graphic-Crossback/dp/B07XYGGLWM

Puma fits small tho. Like this was a medium, and it’s a bit small. And I’m just a regular 34-B/C (depending on the damn company ofc). 

I actually bought it cos of what we were talking about the other day and I was like “i need more sportsbras. sore boobies need gentleness, no more underwires.” (and i gotta say it has helped a lot it seems.) i honestly haven’t really worn sportsbras regularly since...like high school...... so this is all new haha. altho i’m now in the state where if i don’t have to wear a bra at all i won’t. (very different to even 5 years ago when i’d never NOT wear one, even to bed.)

2) he is stupid you can have him lol he has bad breath and won’t stop snuggling and licking toes. he’s a toe licker. he won’t give kisses anywhere else but if you have bare feet watch out. it’s disgusting lol

3) honestly i think that should be a hashtag. i mean so much of the “lesbian content” i post photowise is these perfectly shaped, photoshopped, etc women. probably most of whom aren’t even gay half the time. (the older ones i believe, and they tend to show more real bodies in older women. cos older women aren’t meant to fit in the ~tumblr aesthetic~ anyway.) but with the exception of one or two selfies, i don’t often see actual lesbian bodies here. lots of heavily filtered, posed, aesthetic photos of 18 year olds with perfect bodies. which is like... not most of us?  and to be totally frank, it took me so fucking long to be ok with my body and it wasn’t until i really accepted who i was (AND be around other women consistently naked and had it not matter to them) that i even was comfortable with it. like i’ve always been so, not ashamed, but shy. (and i know if you saw photos from when i was 19 and walking around in like no clothes you’d be like “are you sure? cos you look pretty confident in that teeny bikini or dress.” but inside i was very much not confident. i did it to fit in and be popular lol. sweet sweet (fake) validation, babey!). the self love that comes with being with other women is incredible.  anyway yeah so like i know how my body DOESN’T fit into the ideal aesthetic (and i’ve had plenty of comments in the past irl about my lack of “womanly”/”child bearing” hips, skinny arms, etc etc. the hip thing always kind of made me laugh tho cos i am always like “well, nature knows! good thing i never want kids then if i don’t have the hips for it!!”) but i think it’s important for people to see regular bodies around. like yeah? a little tummy? i used to be devastated by that (and doctors thought i had an ED cos of it) but i’ve come to accept that it ain’t going anywhere cos i’m a female and that’s just how it’s meant to be. esp as we get older. (and my wife insists it’s cute. cos i was skinnier when i met her and she’s like “you look so much better now”, which is similar to the time i lost a lot of weight to get rid of that tummy specifically cos it’s used to be a Big Thing I Hated, and once i put back on some weight my granny was like “oh thank god. you looked really sick before”.) and esp when you come from a culture that doesn’t have more body acceptance. like the first time i went to iceland and to the pool and all the women were just wandering around naked, in all ages and forms, and with zero shame, i wa slike WHAT IS THIS WORLD??? it was baffling to me. cos even in change rooms here it’s quite i dunno hush hush (altho not men’s locker rooms cos i’ve spent a lot of time in those when i was the only girl on the hockey team and they’re just boldly naked and don’t give a single fuck. but women’s lockerrooms? always a bit more...i dunno.). except old ladies who don’t give any shits whatsoever. but all ages there, just going about their business--and i STILL felt insecure which is crazy. i was stared at more for NOT being buttnaked. even the kids were like “wtf”. i want that sort of casual, easy body acceptance and lack of fear of judgement. and i didn’t even shave my pits here (it’s been weeks)... and i forgot until i posted the photos... and then i realised, it seems really obvious to me irl but then i look at the photos, and i’m like “shit, it’s not really noticeable is it? i’ve been freaking out all this time over nothing???” that was pretty stunning tbh. i didn’t realise til i took the photo that it’s not this massive deal. anyway i’m just sort of sick of the “young, thin, hyper-feminine so-called lesbian with long straight hair and sexy undies” ideal (esp when softly touching other young, thin, feminine so-called lesbians). my god just searching “lesbian” on this hellsite is 95% that exact content (that isn’t a comic or illustration which is the only way to see real bodies lol how ironic). god forbid there’s a butch in sight, even a soft butch, or normal body, or natural bush/hair, or tomboy that isn’t super feminine. (the only tomboys allowed are the cute ones with the hipster shirts and backwards ballcap with long hair and perfect eyeliner). we get the occasional professional athlete but that’s it. (where are the regular athletic women, the sporty, muscular women, not hyper-feminine tomboys? where are the stone butches and big old ‘i don’t give a shit bout anything’ dykes? the women who exist outside the ideal BMI and age range? nowhere. cos it doesn’t fit the virgin tumblr aesthetic. it’s not “pleasing” to the majority of users here cos they’re so accustomed to only seeing one type of “lesbian”) but beggars can’t be choosers. and so i reblog the slight bit of shit we do get lol. i dunno, if i was an 18 yr old lesbian i’d be so worried cos i don’t look anything like these girls and no one else i know is either. so just a regular ole boring lesbian body here and it’s imperfect by social standards but it’s fine by my own. tbh i think it’s pretty cool that normal people send in photos of their bodies, just regular, imperfect, everyday people to counteract the mass of bullshit on social media where everyone is so fucking fake. (i assume that’s what you mean by the blogger you mention. i’m guessing it’s not photos of perfect, filter-heavy body parts etc.) and i think in a weird way, being seen --not necessarily validated for it tho-- helps your own ability to appreciate yourself. like not hiding it. just taking that step and posting “this is my leg” esp if you’ve been insecure about it. and you don’t even need the “omg what a beautiful leg! leg power!” sort of social media cheap validation stuff. just the act of posting it. (and i mean...i don’t mean porny, thirst photos to get likes. just... you know normal shit. although i would TOTALLY post my bush if it was allowed just to knock it home that it’s natural. and NICE. and we need to see it more. and i don’t mean in a porn way either. but in the way we see women in art or science books. nonsexual. like that goop episode LMAOOOOO) just as a “this is what it is”. and we all need a little more bodylove i think. and it’s hard to do that when all you see is the insta and tumblr ideal aesthetics absolutely constantly. but i mean i really did just want to show off the bra ...which then turned into showing off the dog lolololol cos he’s ridiculous.

[jageunyeoujari]

i’m not gonna defend when women actually out here depicting harmful things when they make mlm fiction but it’s kinda laughable to me that plenty of women out here w mlm ships still go out of their way to hate on fujoshi specifically (ie “i’m one of the cool girls even tho i’m essentially the same”?). & if you’re a man esp white doing it..... that’s just plain racialized misogyny....

anyway it’s not like fujoshi subculture is without criticism but ppl just don’t even want to engage w the legitimate ways that women (esp racialized women) navigate sexuality & gender in a misogynistic world & instead want to immediately chalk it up as inherently depraved & mindless. for one thing, framing fujoshi as all cis str8 women infringing on gay (men) culture is like patently false; it’s noted that a big part of the fandom are lgbt themselves & also do yuri works...

Zaoh Taishi and Eiki Eiki believe that Yurihime (or the yuri genre per se) represents a liberating means of expressing opposition to totalizing male-oriented standards, especially in terms of increasing female autonomy from received gender orientations:

“In fact, our goal [in creating yuri manga] is to denounce a society in which men always take the (sexual) initiative over women. We also wish to show our dissatisfaction toward men who don't understand women's natural sexual desires (Vol. 1: 127).”

In discussing the subversive nature of yuri manga, we cannot ignore the fact that many yuri manga artists have previously established their status as successful creators of BL manga: e.g. Eiki Eiki, Zaoh Taishi, CHI-RAN, Takahashi Shimako, Mizuno Toko, Hiwa Sōya, among others. In this regard, James Welker argues for the intertextuality of lesbianism and BL narratives. As he says: 'young Japanese women-loving and transgender women carved out a space for themselves, literally and figuratively on the margins of a community of female fans of beautiful young men' (2008: 47). Thus, within the framework of gender studies, we need to consider what forms of subversion are assumed to exist in relation to this intertextuality between BL and GL manga.

The fact that GL manga artists also produce BL narratives can be discussed in terms of the challenge to established hetero-normative paradigms which has been developed in both manga genres. The overall goal of both BL and yuri/GL is, after all, escaping complicity with what Adrienne Rich calls 'compulsory heterosexism' through their marked tendency to focus on (non-heterosexual) perverted forms of sexuality (1980). Rich's concept of compulsory heterosexism implies that lesbianism should not be narrowly defined merely as a single sexual orientation, but rather viewed as part of a female-oriented continuum that reflects women's psychological experiences in bonding with other women. As the above discussion shows, the female characters in Yurihime apparently support this theory, as their pursuit of individual (and sexual) identity basically derives from their motivation to question the standards imposed by a hetero-normative society. (x)

BL can serve as an avenue for some jpn women to explore what it’s like to have a relationship w equal power dynamics w/o the baggage of heterosexuality & gender roles & the accompanying misogyny.

Although [BL] is fundamentally based on male homosexual relationships, yaoi texts have gone beyond regular depictions of gender and have come to occupy a unique position in the female-dominated underground world in which both writers and readers are women.

Kurimoto has turned the body of the regular heroic fantasy protagonist—the flawless macho male hero—into a body that is half man and half beast. She has also attempted this type of alteration of masculinity in her “shônen romance fiction.” These works explore deep, romantic bonds between men that could only be imagined in a fantastic world, and they are not simply homosexual. These texts question how one may attain equality in relationships and to what extent this kind of intense conceptualization of deviating gender is possible. Here, the usual masculinity and sexuality are completely altered and reconstructed according to women’s romantic desires. Works that portray deviations from the real world, such as the alteration of masculinity, often appear to borrow the style of science fiction and fantasy. (x)

& likely if you’re into manga, chances are that your fave female mangaka have done BL doujinshi before lmao. it’s ... v much commonplace. & various highly acclaimed manga done by women depict mlm romance (see: hagio moto) & have a big place in manga history so i guess if you’re gonna call out the disgusting fujoshi, better call out the entirety of the manga industry for #enabling them

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

I've thought a lot about why i feel uncomfortable about girls thristing over harry despite my want to let girls experience their sexuality how they want to. As a lesbian, I’ve experienced a lot of male attraction when I didn’t want it, and being treated like an object of sexual attraction is not nice, esp when I’m not attracted to men and its just based on my appearance and my existence as a wlw. I feel like a lot of fans of harry who are queer project their own feelings about the (1)

opposite sex sexualizing them as a queer person onto harry’s experience and therefore feel uncomfortable about women sexualizing him if u think he’s gay. i know it again plays into the way we as fans identify with them, and oc i realize he may well invite that thirst bc he’s a musician who makes money on it, but as a lesbian who experiences that and has no profit from it, it makes me uncomfortable to see that replicated in fandom from pple who think he’s gay and still have thirst tags

********

Thanks for sharing your thoughts anon - I really appreciate them.  

You articulate your experiences really well - and while I don’t share them - I definitely understand them.  I think you’re right that it’s one of the factors in play (although given the dynamics I think there are other, much more important factors).  I’ve talked a bit about the fact that boyband members are treated as women are treated - and that one of the results of that is a strong level of identification from fans.

But, as you point out, your position is very different from Harry’s.  I don’t think it’s really about the fact that he makes money off it (I’ve known plenty of lesbians who have made money off men’s attraction to them who fucking hate it).  It’s that the power dynamic is different between fans and Harry than it is between a man and a lesbian.  I also think there may be a difference in Harry’s ability set boundaries (since he finished his last tour we have seen him dressed in a way that actively rejected an outsider’s gaze.  I’m really interested if that’ll continue with HS2 or if it’s an indication of downtime). 

I don’t think the fact that you, or any other fan, being uncomfortable with the fact that other fans are lusting over a Harry is a problem.  You feel how you feel - and there are very good reasons (flashing neon signs saying ‘society’ - that you feel that way).  But I also don’t think that your discomfort is a reason that other fans should change their behaviour

It’s not the uncomfortable feeling at other fans expressing their attraction to Harry that has contributed to a toxic environment in this fandom.  It’s that large number of fans have (partly because of that discomfort, but also for a wide range of other reasons) make fun of, sneer, ridicule, deligtimise and try and render unacceptable expressing attraction to Harry (and have often been all too willing to use tropes about the unacceptability of women’s desire to do so).  There is a gap between feeling and response.  There is a gap between feeling uncomfortable about something someone else does and trying to stop them, let alone being willing to use misogyny to do so.

There is nothing wrong with your feelings anon - I encourage you to continue to explore them and honour them. Your thoughtfulness and consideration suggests to me that you’re already pretty good at those boundaries,