#esogender

[xeno-aligned]

hiya ! do you know if there is an identity in which you feel that your gender can not be defined or explained in words, but is definitely there? the closest i can find is cryptogender or xenogender, but i didnt know if a better word existed. please dont feel obligated to answer, i just thought maybe you or ur followers would know >w

aside from cryptogender (Gendercryptic / Cryptogender: A gender one cannot discern, describe or define in human words because one is puzzled by it. It feels like it is and it isn’t there without following any particular pattern, sometimes even at the same time.), here’s some others that might fit:

Genderinimicus: A gender that cannot be fully understood because of some mental block that causes feelings of anxiety, panic, or distress when it is “observed”.

Nebbiagender: A neurogender term describing the experience of not knowing/understanding your gender identity due to fatigue, brain fog, or dissociation. Can be feminine, masculine, or androgyne aligned (ex. nebbiagirl, nebbiaboy, nebbiaenby etc). 

Ineffigender: A gender that is too great or extreme to be expressed or described in words, this can be used as by itself or in combination with the closest term available. Examples of this would be Ineffiboy, Ineffigirl, ineffinonbinary, etc.

Pictogender: A gender that can only be described through imagery, e.g. icons, symbols, emojis, colour gradients etc.

Visigender: A gender that is best described using images, visual aides etc., as you are unable to put it into words due to neurodivergence. For neurodivergent people only.

Mazeplexgender: A gender identity best described as a dense forest or maze which is easy to get lost in, and is hard to navigate through or pinpoint a specific location or gender. It may be unknown to the person if it’s even possible to navigate through this forest or maze to find any answers. Derived from the words maze and perplex.

Esogender: A gender that you can understand within your own internal consciousness or headspace, but can’t communicate externally without some parts being “lost in translation”, omitted, changed or otherwise different from the actual gender you feel (similar to the loss in quality when converting image files). This can make expressing the details of the gender externally feel difficult, frustrating, or pointless to some. 

[variant-archive]

Esogender: a gender that you can understand in your own internal consciousness or headspace, but can't communicate externally without some parts being "lost in translation", omitted, changed, or otherwise different from the actual gender you feel (kind of like the loss in quality when converting image files). This can make expressing the details of the gender externally feel difficult, frustrating, or pointless to some.

[colorless-nebula-flag-archive]

applicable labels

This post may change at any time. Last updated 6 August 2019.

Simple version

I’m a demiwoman. That means I identify partly as a woman and partly as something else.

Moderately complex version

I am gradientfluid among female, neugender and ilyagender. I also occasionally have xenic feelings.

I identify with the broad fluidity terms genderfae and cosmosflux.

Common umbrella terms that apply to my overall gender include nonbinary, genderfluid, trigender and polygender.

I am also bisexual. Polysexual works too.

Common umbrella terms that apply to my orientation include multisexual, m-spec and pluralian.

Details

Gradientfluid among three genders means I can be anywhere in the 3D space. In practice, I tend to experience either feeling fully female, female-neutral, or all three at once. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced feeling fully neutral or fully ilyagender. There is always some female-ness or femininity to me.

Gradientfluid is not to be confused with gendergradient. The two terms seem to have been invented independently.

Within my ID, I do not usually distinguish between female and feminine. The two things are not the same, but I have both, so I don’t use feminine-not-female terms like nonpuella or neularian. (That’s not a misspelling of nebularian.) I don’t like using terms that have “girl” in them; this is because I feel I’m far too old to be called a girl, not because of alienation from girlness. I think of my female-ness as being associated with the color pink.

Neugender is a neutral gender. This is the same as one definition of neutrois, but I wanted to be more explicit about the fact that it is not genderless or gender-apathetic. It falls under the umbrella terms of abinary, aliagender, aporagender, ningender, and aingender. I think of this gender as being associated with the color green.

Ilyagender is a gender that is not male, female, androgynous or neutral in any way. It falls under the umbrella terms of abinary, aliagender, aporagender, and aingender. It is very similar to the terms outherine and pera and bears some similarity to maverique. I do not know how the coiner of ilyagender feels about xenogenders, but for me, this gender is not a xenogender, xeno-aligned, xenic, or xenine. I may frequently refer to this gender as being aporine or abinary, and I associate it with the color yellow.

I occasionally have a xenogender as well. Xenogenders and xeno-alignments I have related to include vaporegender, firmagender, liroric, stargender, tragmat, circlegender, emeraldgender, serpentemian and my own term, laureic.

Additional gender-related descriptors that apply to me

Integragender or meldgender: Having multiple genders and one of them matches the AGAB (gender assigned at birth).

Isogender (iso): For people who aren’t cis, but don’t identify as trans.

Cisn’t

Venufluid/Femfluid: A fluid gender where all gender identities experienced include some degree of femininity.

Fem-prominent: Femininity being the dominant trait in an identity, in both presentation and gender.

Fiagender Spectrum / Fiaspec: an umbrella term similar to FINgender for anyone on the “female” viabinary-to-binary spectrum; anyone whose gender is female, partly female (but not partly miagender), or in some way similar to/resemblant of femaleness (without necessarily being FIN).

Cassflux: When the level of indifference towards your gender fluctuates.

Mutogender: A gender identity that changes based on the situation a person is in (such as the people surrounding them or their location). 

Gendermud: Fluidstable or stablefluid (genderstable + genderfluid); someone who changes the gender identity while gender intensity stays strictly stable. (see also impleflux)

Genderfuzz or Blurgender: A polygender identity where one experiences multiple genders that blur together, making it difficult or impossible to identify what gender(s) one is experiencing at any given time. 

Esogender: A gender that you can understand in your own internal consciousness or headspace, but can’t communicate externally without some parts being “lost in translation”, omitted, changed, or otherwise different from the actual gender you feel (kind of like the loss in quality when converting image files). This can make expressing the details of the gender externally feel difficult, frustrating, or pointless to some.

Aurorian: Having fluid gender alignment. In my case it is fluid among female aligned, neutral-aligned, ilya-aligned, xeno-aligned, combinations of these, and unaligned. (Gender alignment is not very well-defined anyway.)

Ventulian: A gender element which is not clearly defined. It may change in a way that is hard to keep up with, impossible to describe or understand, or simply be vague and fleeting in nature, but it is present.

Luminian: A person who is nonbinary and a woman who loves nonbinary people, women, and men (nblw, nblnb, nblm, wlw, wlm, wlnb).

[viramoric]

Could you explain the esogender thing in a different, simpler way? I’ve read that post six times and I still don’t get what you mean :(

Try to imagine a gender as a circle. There’s a certain definition to that gender, and a circle is defined by its radius. Now imagine picking any point on that circle- you might be closer to the center, for example. Where you are in that circle would be how you relate to a certain gender at any given time. However, you could change the location of that point, so that’s closer to the edge, or further to the right, etc. The circle would still be the same circle, just the point where you are in the circle would change. Likewise, your gender identity might be the same but how you relate to it could change. Some days you may feel more adrogynous, somedays more feminine, or neutral, but your gender identity would stay the same.