#escapingrealitywithmatchalatte

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I wish you know how much it hurts me to be treated this way.

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And I hate that this is true

My childhood trauma didn't make me stronger. it made me a people pleaser. it made me forgive way too much. it made me not speak when i'm supposed to. it made me an extreme empath.

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How painful and beautiful it is to feel love. 📚🍵

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Something I am scared to admit at 26, I never know love-I only know limerence. 🤎

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A breakup song could be about your family if you’re damaged enough

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It’s giving Jude and Cardan! ✨💗

“Let me get this straight. I, a Fae, have spent LITERAL CENTURIES studying the subtle arts of deception, glamour, deceit, and misdirection, and you, a mere human, can just stand there and say things that are untrue?!” “Yeah, that’s about right.”

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We are so back in Dark Academia ✨📚

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August 26, 2024

I finished reading If we were villains yesterday. Indeed this is giving The Secret History (but make it Shakespeare). 🖤 It took me almost a year to finish reading Dark Academia again, but I like how I never pressured myself to finish it faster but I took my time.

(I am writing this at 12:16AM, will write another entry soon, but rn here’s some of my favorite lines from the book).

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And I am nothing but a mess thinking how everything will fall into place the moment I am wrap around your arms.

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He doesn’t. Because if he knows me by heart, there will be no desire to run away and never go back.

— Fyodor Dostoevsky, Notes from Underground

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I already reblogged this quote, but it is so deep that I decided to have a journal entry about it.

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How can I person know everything at eighteen but nothing at twenty-six?

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My current bed time reads 🤍

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A poem that hits me to the core >>>

disclaimer: words are not mine

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You left your typewriter at my apartment

Straight from the tortured poets department 🩶

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I’ve read somewhere that, “When you're born in a burning house, you think the whole world is on fire. But it's not.”

I think that explains why I love my mother so much but hates her with almost the same intensity.

I think that explains why I can’t open up to my father about anything that burdens me.

I think that is why I envy how my sister easily makes friend.

I think that explains why I don’t talk to my brother.

My world is filled with chaos, screams, and hurtful words.

Little did I know that my world is burning, since I was young. It is filled with flickering ambers of red and sunset.

My world is burning, and I only found out at 26.