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Twice
Pairing:Â Peter Parker x Fem!Stark!reader
Summary:Â you and Peter have been rivals for a lot of time, until one day everything changes. But itâs the same old story: you love him, he loves you, then you die and he doesnât have the chance confess his endless love for you. Or is it?
Warnings: spoilers from Avengers: Endgame, reader is Tonyâs daughter, Peter and reader are 18+ here, fluff, a lot of angst, enemies to friends to lovers, happy ending though
Word count:Â 2084
A/N: Hi! I just wanted to write something after a long time. Hope you like it. Let me know what you think in the comments, if you want ď
Taglist:Â @imawhoreforyou, @blankspaceblankday, @sarahcameronswife, @belovedholland.
Main Materlist: here.
Twice.
I believe that things in life happen twice, like getting a job offer or falling in love. For instance, I fell in love twice. The first one was in high school, with my classmate, but he didnât want me. The second one was with Peter, but he didnât want me either. I guess that some things never change. Sometimes, if youâre very lucky, things can also happen thrice, but itâs rare that some trains pass in front of you. This kind of fortune never really occurred to me, thatâs why I still think that things in life happen twice. When you donât understand the occasion, it comes along again for you to see it and finally take it. Maybe thatâs why I died twice.
But letâs go back to the beginning, shall we?
Did it never happen to you to die in a metaphorical way? Like when you feel a pain in your heart that doesnât go away, a deaf heavy brick onto your chest. So you try to breathe, but every rib hurts when you try to do so. Well, this happened to me when Peter told me that he kissed MJ. I was his best friend, I should have been happy for him, but I couldnât. The reason is obvious: I was in love with him. Common, right? Youâre probably thinking that. Our friendship didnât begin like that, though. We were rivals at first, even enemies sometimes, because my dad preferred to work with him and not with me. I mean, I had Morgan, my younger sister, but it wasnât enough for me. I needed him to actually see me. Now I regret it. Anyway, before we grew closer, I couldnât stand Peter and he couldnât stand me. We used to bicker all the time, until one night. One single night.Â
âHiâ, I said.
It changed my entire life.
âHeyâ.
âWhatâs up?â
âIâm just hungryâ, he replied, while looking into the fridge.
âWanna know a secret?â I asked him. He turned in order to look at me. There was a spark of genuine curiosity in his gaze, but I was staring at his half smile on his face, a ghost of something that he didnât use with me.
âShootâ.
âThe best food is not in the kitchen,â I replied. âItâs actually in my roomâ.
He grinned at me.
âWow Y/N, I didnât know you were this naughty. I thought you hated me. Turns out you just wanted something from meâ.
I laughed out loud.
âYouâre mistaken, Spidey. I just wanted to be kind, but turns out youâre a jerk. Goodnight, Iâm gonna eat my marshmallows aloneâ.
âWait, are you for real? True marshmallows? Iâm coming,â he said and I smiled at him, truly happy. I didnât have many friends at school, so I was glad to finally have somebody to hang out with, even if it was my rival.
Donât get me wrong, I didnât hate Peter, I just wanted my dadâs love, thatâs all. Besides, it was impossible to hate Peter: he was the light when everybody came into the room. He made everybody comfortable and he reassured who needed a kind word. I admired him. Today I wouldnât have treated him like that.
âI actually have one request,â I said, when he sat on my bed, while looking around.
âI knew itâ.
âSpidey-sense?â
âNo, I just know you, I guess,â he said and I felt a knot in my stomach. âAnyway, anything for you. Iâm so hungry!â
âWhat if Iâd ask you something terrible?â I asked him, while giving him some marshmallows on a plate. âWhat if you were wrong?âÂ
Maybe I wasnât talking about him, but about myself. I was so concerned not to be Tony Starkâs perfect daughter, that somehow I acted like that just so people could be right about me. Maybe I was just worried to be an evil person.
But he shrugged. Peter ate a marshmallow, looked straight into my eyes and said: âYouâre not what you think you are, Y/N. Trust me, I would knowâ.
âBecause you know me?â
âNo, because of my Spidey-sense, you silly little girl,â he said and I chuckled. Then, his face became so serious it almost scared me. âYou know, Ned warned me about you onceâ.
âOh, really? Why?â I asked, while sitting next to him.
âHe said that youâre troubleâ.
âTrouble?â
âYeah, like staring directly at the Sun. Itâs kinda dope, though. Youâre more like the Moon, but still. The Moon is so pretty and strongâ.
âStrong? Why?â
âYeah, because it takes courage to stay in the sky without anybody in the darkâ.
âOh, well, but the Moon has the stars. Theyâre like soldiers: they protect herâ.
Peter looked at me while eating another marshmallow, as if he was really thinking about what I said, then he nodded.
âI agree. I can be your star,â he said. âIâll protect you. From now on, weâre friends,â he stated.Â
I smiled at him.
âThanks, friendâ.
âYouâre welcome,â he said. âOh, what did you wanna ask me?â
I didnât actually have anything to ask him. Maybe I just wanted some accompany that night, because I couldnât sleep either. His words changed me, though. I wanted to return the favor in some way.
âOne day, Iâm gonna ask you to promise me something and youâll have to keep your wordâ.
He brought a hand to his heart and swore to do so.
âOkayâ.
And that was the night I fell in love with Peter Parker.Â
Some years after that, when we were at university, he broke my heart when he told me he kissed MJ.Â
âWhy do I feel like youâre not happy about it?â He asked me.Â
How do you explain to somebody that youâre drowning in your own thought? In your own blood, in your own bones. Itâs like youâre disappearing, but you really donât. You just wish you could.
âBecause I donât really like herâ.
âYouâre kinda the same person, actually,â he said and it really hurt me.
âWhat?â
âNo, wait, I didnât mean toâŚâ
âIf you think that you can replace me with her, you can do it. Itâs fine,â I said, shutting the door behind me.
âY/N! I didnât mean to say that! I just wanted⌠I just⌠I donât know,â he sighed, then I heard him sitting on the floor, his back on the door and his breath so distant from my skin. He stayed silent for a couple of minutes, thatâs why I thought he went away. I could still hear his heartbeat through the door though, since I was with my back on it like him. âYouâre irreplaceable, to me. I just wanted to say that youâre similar to MJ, thatâs it. Youâre two black cats. Iâm sorryâ.
I remained silent for some time, then I sighed: it was impossible to stay angry at him for more than two minutes straight.
âThat makes you a golden retriever, then?â I asked and he chuckled.
âI guess soâ.
I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him that I was in love with him then and that I had been for years, but the words wouldnât come up to my mouth. Besides, he was in love with someone else. We were just friends and it had to be enough for me.
âHey, Peter?â
âYes, Y/N?â
âI learned that stars that shine the brightest do that because theyâre dying. I shouldnât do thatâ.
âDo what? Shine?â
âDie,â I said. âYouâre not allowed to die. Okay?â
âOkayâ.
I didnât know it then, but Iâd have been the one to die.
Thanos was⌠a lot of things. And Peter was a lot of things to me. So when I had to choose what to do, it was simple. My Dad didnât want me to be there, but I was on the battlefield. I saw people fight, die give everything they could. It was terrific. But I was there to protect Peter, because I knew that he couldnât do that alone, despite him being so strong all the time. Because he was like me.Â
âY/N?â He shouted, when he saw me. He was surprised and scared at the same time. âYou shouldnât be here!âÂ
âI should!â I said, while I was fighting with one of Thanosâ soldiers.
âIf anything happens to you, I swearâŚâ
âNothing will happen!â I said, while he was winning against some soldier.
âMr. Stark will be very disappointed!â
Yes, he was.
âHeâll understand!â
No, he didnât.
âWhy are you here?â Peter asked me, while he was close enough to put his hands on my shoulders. I had an armor, but it was useless when he looked into my eyes. I melted like a silly little girl.
âYou know why,â I said and I prayed that he understood it. My heart clenched.
He gulped.
âI donâtâ.
âYou shine brighter than me. I canât allow you to die,â I replied.
âThis doesnât make any sense, Y/N. I wonât leave you here. Iâll take you homeâ.
âYou will,â I said. âYou have to. You promised. Donât follow me. You have to keep your word, remember? If Thanos kills meâŚâ
âNo, Y/N, noâŚâ
âIf Thanos kills me,â I continued, âyou wonât look for revenge. Is it clear?â
âY/NâŚâ
âIs it clear?â I repeated, determined. He nodded. âGoodâ.
Youâre asking yourself how I knew that, right? Well, I didnât. But I knew Peter. I knew that he would have followed me anywhere, because I would have done that too.Â
Then, everything happened all at once. My Dad saw me from the distance. He called out my name, but I didnât hear him. I was disappearing. Peter looked at me in disbelief, too astonished to talk. That was me dying twice.Â
âRemember me,â I said, while trying to hug him, but it was like my muscles were too tired to even embrace him. I was slowly falling asleep.
âY/N? Y/N?â He called. âI love you! I love you!â He screamed, his voice a desperate heartbreak into the air. âI love you!â
When my dad reached out to him, it was already too late for me.Â
***
When Peter came back from the cemetery, he didnât expect to see Tony Stark at his university, after five years. He knew that Y/N came to the battle just to protect Peter, so he hated him because if his eldest daughter died was his fault. But now he knew what to do in order to bring her back and he needed his help to do it.Â
âMr. Stark,â Peter said, surprised. âI didnât expect to see you hereâ.
âItâs her death anniversary, I know, but I had other things to do,â he said. âI know how to bring her back, Peter, but I need you to come with meâ.
Peter shaked his head.
âI donât understand: I thought that you hated meâ.
âY/N always said that nobody could really hate you and she was rightâ.
Peter smiled at him, his lips trembling.
âI broke up with MJ the day before the battle. I wanted to tell her, but I never got the chance. I thought that she didnât want meâ.
Tony put a hand on his shoulder, a warm smile on his face.
âThereâs not a world in which she doesnât want you, I fearâ.
That being said, they were coming back to the past with the other Avengers in order to save Y/N and the people who had died because of Thanos. Tony was the first one to see Y/N coming back from the dead.
âPeter!â He called.
Peter turned and he saw Y/N. It was like coming back from a dream. She was finally back into his arms and he wouldnât have let her go, this time. He dipped his nose into the crook of her neck and inhaled her scent. It was so real it made his heart ache. If he could have exchanged his place with her in all those years, he would have done so. He would have done anything to make her live a normal life. Being without her meant not living, but barely floating on the surface.
âIâm in love with you,â he said. âIâve been for most of my life, actually. Since that night we ate the marshmallows togetherâ.
He saw her bring her hands on her heart, tilting her head with tears in her eyes.
âAnd youâre my light, Peter. You always have beenâ.
Then he hugged her again and it felt like coming home. Â
#erule's masterlist#tom holland x reader#peter parker x reader#peter parker x you#peter parker x fem!reader#peter parker angst#peter parker fluff#peter parker x stark!reader#peter parker fanfic#peter parker fic#peter parker fanfiction#spiderman fanfiction
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linger [part xi.]
a peter parker social media au
part xi. : (y) to the end
please read authors note before chapter*
summary: y/n stark is a new york socialite, going to school and having fun with her friends. what happens when her life is in danger and she doesn't even know? even worse, what will happen when she finds out the person sent to protect her was her new friend, peter parker?
warnings: cursing, mentions of drinking/drugs, mentions of s*x
a/n: this is the final chapter !!! im gonna cry frrr this was an experiment for me and i loved writing it, making characters and the support was amazing. there is a time jump in here, and i can always make extras for this series if need be but ahhhh, im content with the ending even tho i know people are going to hate it butttttt anyways.. read on
series masterlist | main masterlist
taglist and mutuals: @sxfik @olsensnpm @userholland @gwenscindys @spideyspeaches @cocoamoonmalfoy @venomsilk @spvilers @petereading @honeyspidey @spideyobsessed @vendettaparker @erule @4ppurrr @vxid42 @wildholland @inthegetawaycarwithtaylah @lovebyceleste @mayal0pez @ariianelle @keanureevesisbae @ghiblijoons @peterparkoure @starstruckspring @willie-ivy @spideyy @seaveysinn @simplyparker
#peter parker#peter parker imagine#tshwritersnet#stark!reader#spiderman#spiderman imagine#peter parker one shot#peter parker x reader#peter parker series#peter parker angst#peter parker fanfiction#peter x stark!reader#tom holland#tom holland imagine#tom holland one shot#tom holland x reader#peter parker fan fic#tom holland fan fic#marvel imagine#peter parker social media au#peter parker smau
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the loving game ⢠epilogue
pairing âł frat!tom x reader (smau)
disclaimer âł i do not pose to be any of the people/characters stated in these series, these are just face claims made for storytelling and entertainment purposes and not meant to hurt anyoneâs sentiments.
series masterlist
シ ・ďžâ: *. epilogue .* :âďž.
シ ・ďžâ: *. taglist | main masterlist .* :âďž.
taglist: @httphollands @the-girl-in-the-chair @spideyspeaches @prancerrparkerr @usergarfields @theglitterymess @parkersdahlia @quaksonhehe @lowkey-holland @piscesparker @didthebadthing @wildxwidow @blankspaceblankday @raajali3 @kelieah @mcushvft @tommyfroggie @saturnpeter @ellabellabus07 @comfort-reads @uwiuwi @annathesillyfriend @bradtomlovesya @erule
#tom holland#tom holland imagine#tom holland fanfiction#frat!tom x reader#frat!tom holland#tom holland smau
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Promises, Promises (Teaser)
Tom Holland x Reader
Masterlist
Summary: You and Tom were childhood best friends turned lovers, and he made a promise to be with you forever. But some promises are just meant to be broken.
Warnings: angst, language, some fluff (ribs by lorde energy)
A/N: i've been working on this fic for A WHILE and I'm almost finished with it! be prepared this is gonna be a long (and sad) one but i absolutely love it, so i decided to post a little teaser bc iâm so excited about it hehe
Flashbacks are in italics
~~~~~~~~
"I got the part! Holy shit I actually got the part!" Tom throws his computer across the bed in disbelief, almost hitting you.
"Wait, like THE part? Like Spiderman?" you question excitedly.
"YES!!! Check the Marvel Instagram right now!" he crawls over to you as you whip out your phone and quickly search up the account. You scan the page to see a post captioned, "Click the link in our bio to see who the new Spider-Man is!" You quickly find the link and impatiently wait for the page to load. And then you see it, boldface print and giant letters across your phone.
The new Marvel Cinematic Universe Spider-Man will be played by: TOM HOLLAND
"HOLY SHIT TOM! You're fucking Spiderman!" you tackle him with a hug, squeezing him so tightly that he has to fight for breath. "I'm so proud of you, I knew you were gonna do big things." you smile brightly.
"We have to go tell everyone else, come on!" Tom pulls you off of him, dragging you out of his bedroom and down the stairs to give his family the big news.
The rest of the Hollands were already together in the family room, and they immediately took notice of yours and Tom's excitement as the two of you are bounding down the stairs.
Out of breath, Tom sprints to the center of the room. "Attention everyone, I have an extremely important announcement to make!" He pauses for dramatic effect, his family waiting in anticipation. "I'M GONNA BE SPIDERMAN!"
This causes an outburst of cheers and applause from his parents and brothers, each one of them getting up to hug Tom and congratulate him on this huge achievement.
Paddy piped up, "How did you get the news? Did they call you or something?"
"Um, not exactly. They posted it on their Instagram and on the Marvel website as well, wanna see?" He turns to you, "Y/N, show them your phone!"
You pull out your phone and open the screen you were just looking at, showing the Hollands the Instagram post and article.
"No way, they're totally hacked." Harry remarks, earning disapproving looks from Nikki and Dom. "if you were really gonna be the next Spiderman, they would have called you."
Before Tom has the time to argue back, his phone rings, as if on cue. Tom pulls it out of his back pocket and nervously studies the number across the screen.
"Well, what are you waiting for div, answer it!" Sam chirps impatiently.
The rest of the room is silent while Tom listens intently to the person the other line. You can't make out what they are saying, but the eventual smile on Tom's face completely gives it away.
"Yes, thank you. Thank you so much for this opportunity," he holds while the other person talks again. "Yeah, I'll be in touch, definitely. Thank you again." Tom ends the call and lets out a sigh of relief. "That was fucking Kevin Feige! I got the part! I actually am gonna be the next Spiderman!"
You and the rest of his family cheered even louder than before, enveloping him in a giant group hug.
"I say we celebrate!" Nikki announces. "How about we go out for a nice dinner?"
Tom smiles, "If I'm honest mum, as nice as that would be, I'd rather just stay in and celebrate here tonight. I like your cooking better than any fancy restaurant anyways."
"Of course honey, I'll make your favorite. We can have a nice big family dinner, how does that sound?"
"Sounds perfect mum, thank you."
She dashes into the kitchen followed by Sam, the aspiring chef of the family, while Dom, Harry, and Paddy go to dress the table.
You take this as your cue to leave, seeing as you don't want to disrupt the rest of Tom's night with his family. "I guess I should get going then," you turn to Tom, hugging him once again. "Congratulations again, I'm so proud of you Tommy." you smile as you head to grab your things before you leave.
"Nonsense! You're staying for dinner too!" Tom stops you.
"Tom, I can't, you should spend this night celebrating with your family." you try to reason with him.
"But I want you here too!" he pouts.
"And you are family!" Nikki pipes in from the kitchen, earning nods of agreement from the rest of the family.
"See, everyone wants you here Y/N, please celebrate with us?" Tom cups your face.
"Are you sure? I really don't want to-"
Nikki cuts you off, piping in once again, "Y/N, I insist you stay for dinner with us. You've been a part of this family for so long, and you know that. So please stay and celebrate with us!" she smiles.
You giggle, "Well, I guess I can't say no to that." Tom smiles, giddily engulfing you in another hug.
After a long and delicious dinner, you and Tom now lay under the stars in the treehouse in his backyard. Dom had built it for you two when you were eight years old, and it's been your special place ever since then. Obviously, it has been upgraded and redecorated since then, now that you and Tom were both eighteen, but it still takes you back to the old days when you were just carefree little kids.
You cuddle into Tom's chest, looking up at the night sky through the small window in the roof of the treehouse. "I wish we could stay here forever," you whisper.
"Me too." Tom pulls you closer, kissing your forehead.
"I don't want things to change Tommy. We're graduating in two weeks, and then you leave for America to go film. I'm so proud of you and so excited for you because I know this is like, your dream, but I really don't know what I'm gonna do without you." A small tear rolls down your cheek which doesn't go unnoticed by Tom.
He wipes the tear off your face with his thumb, cupping your chin to make you face him. "Hey, hey, look at me. Things might be changing, but that doesn't mean we have to. I'm only gonna be gone for a few months, and then I'll be back. I love you so much, and a few hundred miles is never going to change that. I will never let anything come between us, ever, okay?"
You smile softly, "You promise?"
"I promise darling. It's you and me forever. I'm never letting you go. Never in a million years." he kisses you lovingly, and you swear you could just live in this moment for the rest of eternity with him, and only him.
That was six years ago. And what Tom said was true, everything did change. You just wish everything else he had said that night was true too.
~~~~~~~~
FULL FIC COMING SOON! i hope y'all are excited :)
Tagging some cool people: @emmastarz @selfcarecap @heavenlyholland @spideyspeaches @felicityparkers @ithoughtyouweresokovian @anna-sofia @blizzardbabe @bichellejones @londonspidey @erule @holland-styles @spideybrie @annathesillyfriend @starknik22 @theliterarymess
#tom holland#tom holland fluff#tom holland angst#tom holland smut#tom holland oneshot#tom holland fic#tom holland x reader#tom holland x you#peter parker#peter parker fluff#peter parker smut#peter parker x reader#soph writes
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natasha romanoff
soft touches by cuinaminute229
sweet by imhereforbvcky
decide by wannabe-fic-writer
come here, cutie by marvelfansince08love
chocolates by natasharomanoffswife
headcanon on buckyblues
masterlist by blackkwidowed
donât make me fall in love by theleoarchives
a look into the compound by awkwardgaymess
wanda maximoff
flustered by talatomaz
sleepy head by nev3rfound
scent market by imagine-docx
a memorable camping night by abimess
not allowed to touch by abimess
the passionate vigilante by abimess
the annoying jumper by abimess
when secrets are revealed by abimess
donât keep to yourself by sapphicshots
peter parker
your mess by peterbenjiparker
give it to him by subbypeterparker
tiger by devotion
headcanon by tom-holland-parker
ya know by hollandsmushroom
last night by darlingholland
peterâs girlfriend by peterbenjiparker
drowsy by piscesparker
blurb by piscesparker
orange juice by ii-larb-you
the morning sun by peterbenjiparker
noodles by waitimcomingtoo
better half by ptersmj
midnight love by peterbenjiparker
dorky love notes by princepeteys
perfect by lexy-rex
headcanon by randxmthxughts
the floor is lava by queen-of-the-avengers
anxiety by angel-spidey
fav places and first kisses by angel-spidey
pleasant surprises by angel-spidey
drabble by romanova-natalia
headcanon by avenging-fandoms
stay by beautifullydisconnected
puppies by thekillingquill
first car by thekillingquill
blurb by annab-nana
cantame by thekillingquill
now and forever by ptersmj
birthday kiss by ptersmj
truth serum by ptersmj
kisses by ptersmj
peter quill
a great team by triptuckers
this was my favorite shirt by smilexcaptainx
ischwp by erule
cuddly peter quill by ifandomalot
music by triptuckers
headphones by smilexcaptainx
may i kiss you now by smilexcaptainx
food fight by smilexcaptainx
ticklish by shyficwriter
drabble by randomfandomimagine
headcanon by fbfh
earth by jammesbarnnes
tcoywys by littlemaatta
dating peter quillš by myriadimagines
dating peter quill² by myriadimagines
dating peter quillÂł by 3than1no
dating peter quillâ´ by lotsoffandomimagines
wafan by uncomfortable-writers
lirting by lotsoffandomimagines
baby groot by myriadimagines
dating peter quillâľ by seancekitsch
starlord by yurikkiri
headcanon by imagine-mcu
badly injured by myriadimagines
iwdtfae by myriadimagines
i hope you stay around by lotsoffandomimagines
you look amazing by prider-parker-imaginations
a snap by jammesbarnnes
loki laufeyson
i think he knows by revengingbarnes
headcanons by rorybutnotgilmore
like real people do by rorybutnotgilmore
the handmaiden by rosaline-black
bucky barnes
dad!bucky by buckyblues
back from a mission by avenging-fandoms
headcanon by ohmickeyhenry
headcanon on buckyblues
say yes by itsapeterthing
pietro maximoff
of marriage and mischief by peterssweetpea
braids by randomoutsiders
my love by lcthebtswriter
blurry figure by wednesdayadams228
steve rogers
sick day by sebstan-simp
yelena belova
watch and learn by alotofpockets
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Jenâs Make Me Cry Masterlist
Sounds Of Someday by @erule
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader
Prompt: We were never friends
Burn by @jensengirl83â
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Prompt: What will it take to make you stay?
Slow Motions by @anaelsbrunetteâ
Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader
Prompt: You were my first, why canât I be your last?
Not Yours by @msmarvelouswinchesterâ
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Prompt: I didnât know it would hurt this much.
Lie To Me by @jensenswinchesterâ
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Prompt: We need to talk
Donât Give Up by @unnuevosoltransformalarealidadâ
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Prompt: I gave and gave all you did was take.
No, Not Today by @little-diableâ
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Prompt: Stop answering my question with another question!
You, Me, And The Devil Makes Three By @herstarburststoriesâ
Pairing: Demon!Dean x Reader / Dean Winchester x Reader
Prompt: I guess I should have been more like her.
Try By @thinkinghardhardlythinkingâ
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Prompt: You canât just walk up and say that to me, and then walk away.
Is That All I Am To You by @supernatural-love14â
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader, Former Dean Winchester x Reader
Prompt: Is That all I am to you
Iâm not clean by @kickingitwithkirkâ
Pairing: Alpha!Sam Winchester x Omega!reader
Prompt: Grown men donât cry
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Breathless: Part Four
Tom Holland x Reader
Word Count: 1.6k+
Summary: You needed to bring someone along to a wedding. Just to keep you from falling from your ex again and pretend to be your boyfriend, the normal wedding behavior, but had he always looked at you like that?
Warnings: Implied smut
Authorâs Note-Â This is the last part! I am so grateful for everyone who has read this and left feedback, thank you thank you thank you!
Writing Tag (a masterlist will be made when I get a few more pieces written!) | Ask Box
Prologue | Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four |
Your eyes opened to muted sunlight streaming through unfamiliar sheer grey curtains. The blankets you were cocooned in were no less recognizable, but they were comfortable, so you pulled them closer to your body. You rolled over and smiled when you saw Tom, still asleep, next to you in the bed, but a sudden surge of anxiety filled your body and you tensed. What would your brother think?Â
Would Tom help you explain things, or had he just had a few too many glasses of champagne the night before? If the latter was true, what would he think now that you'd soberly kissed him and slept with him and spent the night in his bed? You pushed the blankets off your body and rolled out of Tomâs bed to find yourself draped in his T-shirt.
âShitshitshitâŚâ You whispered under your breath, picking up your phone when you heard it go off. You were almost out of battery, but there was still enough power to see Harrisonâs thirty plus texts and respond to them. The general theme of your brotherâs texts was something along the lines of  âY/N Osterfield where the hell are you???â. You responded telling him that you'd crashed on Tomâs couch and planned on leaving soon.
You frowned in distaste at your dress, which had become a puddle of fabric on Tomâs floor. You hated the idea of squeezing into the thing again, but picked it up anyway. Discarding the t-shirt you wore that belonged to Tom, you wriggled into the tight dress. You picked up your heels from the floor where youâd kicked them off the night before, but opted to wait until youâd left Tomâs apartment to put them on so that the sound of them clicking against the floor wouldnât somehow wake him.
You took a last look at Tom sleeping peacefully beneath the covers, watching as his shirtless back rose and fell with each quiet snore that was muffled against the pillowcase. Making yourself tear your eyes away, you grabbed your phone and slipped out of the room.
âGod, Iâm such an idiot.â You groaned, trying to remain quiet. You could already imagine everything Harrison would say to you when you came home in your dress: âyou mean he didnât give you any clothes?â, âwhy didnât he just drive you home after the reception?â, âIâve slept on that couch, itâs not comfortable.â, âwhy is your hair so messed up?â.
The heels hung from your fingers and you were nearly out the door when your eyes caught on the small mirror that was hung up on the wall.
âShit.â Your hair was worse than you thought, having clearly been fisted and pulled during heated kisses and sensual touches. âShitshitshit!â A purplish mark adorned your neck. You slapped a hand over the hickey, wishing that when you took it away, the bruise would be gone. Your hand dropped back to your side, but the mark remained. Before you knew it, tears were rolling down your cheeks. Youâd have no explanation for Harrison, nothing to say to Tom. Youâd ruined it all. Youâd already started breaking your own heart all over again.
âCome on.â You groaned, burying your head in your unoccupied hand. You just needed one thing to go right, one thing to go your way.
Without warning, the weight of the black high heels that hung from your fingers disappeared. Thinking youâd dropped them, you rushed to keep them from hitting the floor but they were nowhere in sight. Realizing what had happened, you turned around, not even attempting to conceal the look of dread on your face.
Tom stood in front of you, still shirtless, with your heels in his hand, the look on his face unreadable.
âI was going to be gone by now, I-â You tried to explain, âI just- Everything that shouldnât have happened happened and Iâm so sorry, and Iâll go now if you just-â You reached for the shoes, but he held them away from you. Confused, you drew your hand back and watched him set them down on the floor. Expression still blank, his hand fell gently on your wrist and began to pull you away from the door. You followed him reluctantly, unsure what else to do.
âPlease say something.â You whispered hoarsely, listening to him yell into your face wouldâve been better than the indecipherable silence you were caught in.
His hand fell from your wrist and hovered over your cheek, âWhy are you crying?â He asked quietly. Barely touching your skin, he wiped away each tear that remained on your cheek.
âI-I didnât know⌠what youâd say or what Harrison would say and what would happen between the two of you and what wou-would happen between the two of us, and I just ruined everything again-â Your voice cut off for a moment, a light gasp coming through your lips as your tears picked up, âI ruined everything like I always ruin everything, and I thought you and Harrison and me, y-you know, we- we were just c-constant and it was the one thing I couldnât ruin and now here I am.â
Tom wrapped his arms around you, holding you close to his chest and shocking you into stiffness, âYou didnât âruinâ anything.â You found yourself relaxing into his embrace, melting into the heat of his chest as each second passed. You buried your head in the crook of his neck, crying into his shoulder. âEverythingâs gonna be fine, love.â
âNow,â He let you out of his arms, his hands still resting gently over your waist, keeping you from moving too far away. âHow about you change out of that dress, and have breakfast here, and we can just⌠forget about everything else for a little while?â
His dazzling smile made it impossible to disagree. You didnât consider the fact that youâd texted Harrison saying that youâd be home soon, or that you had work to do before Monday, or that youâd just been crying about the repercussions over a night spent with Tom, only to find yourself agreeing to spend the morning with him. Your head mightâve been whispering to walk out the door right then, but your heartâs incessant yelling was louder. You followed Tom back to his bedroom.
âSoâŚâ You finally said, sniffling as you both stepped through the doorway to his room. âWhat⌠what does this mean? What are we? What do we tell my brother?â
âWhat does this mean? I finally have grounds, and/or courage, to ask you on a date. What are we? I donât know, depends on if youâll go on a date with me. What do we tell your brother?â He shrugged, silent for a moment as he tossed you one of his larger t-shirts to put on. âAs much as you want to tell him. I think at some point he should know that we had sex, whether that point is today or on his deathbed is your choice.â He turned and faced the wall as you began to pull down the zipper that ran down the side of your dress.
âWill⌠you go on a date with me?â He asked, voice high pitched with the nerves that were suddenly accompanying the fast flowing blood in his veins and filling his body with anticipation for your answer.
You thought for a moment, slipping the shirt over your head and already relishing the way it hung loose over your body instead of clinging to each imperfection. âYes.â You finally said, having been considering and enjoying the prospect of going on a date with Tom since your freshman year of high school. âAnd I vote deathbed. You can turn around now.â
âOh, did you want some shorts or something?â
âIâm good, thanks though.â
âI really wanna kiss you right now.â
âWhy donât you?â
Almost before you could finish daring him to do so, his lips were on yours, his hand in your hair, and his body slotted against your own.
âI know you just put on this shirt, but I really wouldnât mind taking it off again.â Tom whispered, his mouth barely leaving yours to speak the words under his breath.
You hummed, âNot sure Iâm ready for another round, yet.â You kissed him once more before taking a tiny step backward. He simply nodded, entranced by a simple strand of hair that had fallen into your face. Reaching up, he quickly pushed it behind your ear, his hand lingering on your cheek for a few seconds before dropping back to his side.Â
You realized briefly: he had always looked at you like that.
âHow about that breakfast then, yeah?â He asked, voice sounding far off as he stared into your eyes. You nodded. You took his hand and walked together to the kitchen. You loved the feeling of holding his hand. His calloused fingers intertwined with yours, arms swinging gently as you walked, just feeling connected- it just made you feel warm.
You hopped onto the counter and watched Tom as he pulled out a mixing bowl and a box of pancake mix. He couldnât believe this was happening. You were at his apartment, wearing his shirt, sitting on his counter and watching him stir pancake batter. Heâd just kissed you, he could let himself stare for minutes at a time at you, he could finally hold you. Too long heâd wanted to kiss you, hold you, tell you how beautiful you were, but refrained. Now though, now he finally could.
âYou are so beautiful, Y/N.â He said. And you were. The way the sunlight was shining on your face, and the slight smile that stretched your lips, the way his t-shirt looked on your body, he was breathless.
Prologue | Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four |
@poeticparker @parkerscupcake @elyshugh @heavenlytom @marveltomjunkie @hollandazing@alaynaadams22 @caitlyn-blackwell @txm-h0lland @twiceinabluemoon @riacollins @hollandorks@fav-fan-fic @chinalois @gabrielle-stark @waywardswain @5-seconds-of-sarcasmm @yesfangirlfan@clairesrainbow@alexafromthefandom @wowspideyholland @queensholland @alimaawilliamss @cutehollands @erule
Thank you all so much for your support of this fic! The end!
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Do I look like I care? | jj maybank
Pairing: JJ Maybank x fem!Kook!reader
Summary: you ask JJ to dance with you at the Midsummer, but things donât go as planned.
Warnings: jealous!JJ, established relationship, fluff
Word count: 1.1K
A/N: hi! I loved 1x05, so hereâs something about it. Hope you like it. Enjoy! x
JJâs Masterlist
Itâs a hot Sunday afternoon, youâre on your boat with JJ, whoâs smoking with his sunglasses on. You were talking about the Midsummer dance, since youâre a Kook and your family wants you to go there. Topper offered to be your partner and you agreed, since your boyfriend, a Pogue, canât participate. Still, you hoped that JJ would have said something about it, moved by jealousy perhaps or the desire to make you happy, but he just seemed unconcerned.
âSo, youâre telling me that youâre not even a little bit jealous of Topper?â
He shrugs, breathing out some smoke.
âDo I look like I would be jealous of somebody like Topper?â
âYou certainly look like somebody who wouldnât come to the dance with me,â you reply, testily.
âBabe, you just have to tell me. One word and I do whatever you like. If you want me to be there, Iâll be there,â he says with a smile.
Youâre suddenly suspicious: itâs true, JJ would always agree to do something with you, especially dangerous things, but this time it feels like a trap. Youâre now sure heâs trying to hide his protectiveness towards you, so you try to push him over the edge.
âAre you sure, J? I mean, you should wear a suit, maybe even pretend to be a waiter to be there and dance with me, something that you donât even like to do, in front of my parents and the other Kooks. Itâs not really your cup of tea,â you say, observing every muscle of your boyfriend. He still seems really calm, but you see a jolt in his hand, while heâs putting out his cigarette. Oh, heâs so jealous. You got him!
âDo I look like I care?â He asks you with effrontery.
You shake your head.
âI think that youâre gonna handle it perfectly,â you answer, giving him a peck on the lips.
Tonightâs the night. Youâre wearing your best dress, JJ sent you a text telling you that the plan is still in motion with John B. Youâre a little bit nervous: you donât like pushing JJâs buttons, but this is important to you and you donât want to be there with somebody whoâs not your boyfriend. This is also the only way to have him there, since your parents donât approve your relationship with him for obvious reasons. You just hope that they wonât see him or, at least, that theyâll just let him be. Speaking of your parents, theyâre calling out your name right now.
Ten minutes later, youâre there with Topper, but you donât see JJ nearby. Youâre turning around too often, so Topper starts getting suspicious about it.
âIs everything okay? Is somebody following you or something?â He jokes.
âWhat?â
His voice is so irritating, you canât believe that your parents would love to have him as your boyfriend instead of JJ.
âYouâre acting weird, please stop,â he whispers to your ear, while smiling to the people in the room.
âAnd youâre acting like my father,â you say, then you leave his embrace and go away.
This is not going as planned: JJ is nowhere to be seen and your parents already look lost, because you just left Topperâs side. You breathe out, hoping that Sarah or Kie will appear soon next to you.
âHey, Iâm sorry about earlier,â you hear Topperâs voice behind you. You sigh.
âTopper, youâre a good guy, butâŚâ
âI also forgot to mention that you look really beautiful, tonight,â he adds.
âAnd this is my time to interfere. Hi Topper, please leave my girl alone, she already has a boyfriend,â JJ says and when you turn around, you see him with some empty glasses on a tray.
âWho made you work here?â Topper asks, surprised.
âDo you work for the police?â JJ replies, shaking his head. âCome on, go away, she saved all of her dances just for me, so you can bore someone elseâ.
You burst out laughing and Topper mustn't like it, because he runs away livid with rage, probably to call Rafe and his other friends to kick JJ out, but you don't care: he's finally here. JJ leaves the silver plate so he can dance with you.
âYou were jealous,â you say, while heâs holding your waist.
âNo, I told you: I donât careâ.
âYouâre such a liar,â you reply, a smirk on your face.
âWhatever,â he says.
Then he leans down to mutter these words in your ear: "But if you thought I wanted to be the only one to lay a hand on you, you were completely right."
Shivers get down your spine, when you hear his hoarse voice. You didn't even realize you closed your eyes. Now you just feel the heat of JJ's body against yours as you slow dance, the cool air rushing up your ankles. This could be the best moment of your life.
If it weren't for JJ whoâs now pulling you away, because Rafe and Topper are chasing you. You run off to the beach, your parents yelling after you, while you laugh and feel free, taking off your heels for more comfort. He takes off his bow tie, throwing it behind him. Luckily your boat is nearby, so you two get on that and hide in the cabin, hoping that the others have not seen you, because you are protected by the darkness of the night. JJâs still trying to catch his breath, while youâre chuckling.
âWhat?â
âIâm just thinking about Topperâs face when you appeared,â you answer and he laughs.
âHeâs so irritatingâ.
âRight?â
âHe never had a chance with you anyway,â JJ says.
You give him a sly look.
âWhy? âCause itâs always been you?â
âNo, âcause youâre obviously better than him. Youâre way out of my league too, honestly. Sometimes I even wonder why youâre with me. Youâre better than everybody,â he answers and your heart melts.
You cup his face, your hands caressing his warm skin. His eyes are so blue, they seem the ocean and youâd like to swim into them. Heâs holding his breath, as if heâs waiting for you to break up with him right here, right now. But youâre not gonna do that.
âYou underestimate yourself, babe. Iâm lucky to have you by my side, my knight in shining armor,â you say. âAlso, you should put on these elegant clothes more oftenâ.
âOh, is it?â He asks, his lips on yours.
âYeah,â you answer with a smile, before he kisses you. âAdmit that you were jealous!â
âI was jealous, okay?â JJ squeals, exasperated. âNow let me kiss you!â
You knew it.
#erule's masterlist#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank os#jj maybank one shot#jj maybank blurb#jj maybank hc#jj maybank headcanon#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank fluff#jj maybank angst#jj maybank smut#jj maybank fic#jj maybank fanfic#jj maybank ff#jj maybank fanfiction#jealous jj maybank x reader#jealous jj maybank#jj maybank x fem reader#jj maybank x kook reader
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linger [part ix.]
a peter parker social media au
part ix. : (y) unexpected date
summary: y/n stark is a new york socialite, going to school and having fun with her friends. what happens when her life is in danger and she doesn't even know? even worse, what will happen when she finds out the person sent to protect her was her new friend, peter parker?
warnings: cursing, mentions of drinking/drugs, mentions of s*x
ilu all
series masterlist | main masterlist
taglist and mutuals: @sxfik @olsensnpm @userholland @gwenscindys @spideyspeaches @cocoamoonmalfoy @venomsilk @harryssmommy @spvilers @petereading @honeyspidey @spideyobsessed @vendettaparker @erule @4ppurrr @vxid42 @wildholland @inthegetawaycarwithtayla @parkerpeterparker2004 @lovebyceleste @mayal0pez @ariianelle @keanureevesisbae @ghiblijoons @peterparkoure @starstruckspring @willie-ivy @spideyy @seaveysinn
#peter parker#tshwritersnet#peter parker imagine#stark!reader#spiderman#spiderman imagine#peter parker one shot#peter parker x reader#peter parker series#peter parker angst#peter parker fanfiction#peter x stark!reader#tom holland#tom holland imagine#tom holland one shot#tom holland x reader#peter parker fan fic#tom holland fan fic#marvel imagine#peter parker social media au#peter parker smau
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the loving game ⢠pt. 5
pairing âł frat!tom x reader (smau)
disclaimer âł i do not pose to be any of the people/characters stated in these series, these are just face claims made for storytelling and entertainment purposes and not meant to hurt anyoneâs sentiments.
series masterlist
シ ・ďžâ: *. five .* :âďž.
シ ・ďžâ: *. taglist | main masterlist .* :âďž.
taglist: @httphollands @the-girl-in-the-chair @spideyspeaches @prancerrparkerr @usergarfields @theglitterymess @parkersdahlia @quaksonhehe @lowkey-holland @piscesparker @didthebadthing @wildxwidow @blankspaceblankday @raajali3 @kelieah @mcushvft @tommyfroggie @saturnpeter @ellabellabus07 @comfort-reads @uwiuwi @annathesillyfriend @bradtomlovesya @erule
#tom holland#tom holland imagine#tom holland fanfiction#tom holland smau#frat!tom x reader#frat!tom holland
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@erule replied to your post âRevenge Is Sweet | Social Media AU (Tom Holland)âŚâ
I already stan Tom anyways
i love that for you đđ and yes we doooo. but gosh tom in here is...something and i adore him
â˝ď¸ Revenge Is Sweet (Series Masterlist)
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Nothing you can take | c.s.
Pairing: Coriolanus Snow x fem!reader
Summary: you and Sejanus make a bet involving you and Coriolanus, that youâll have to become a couple in order to get some money from him, but everything changes when the two of you fall in love for each other for real. Â
Warnings: fake dating AU, (kinda) enemies to lovers, bet to fall in love trope (if I can call it like that), sunshine x grumpy/black cat x golden retriever trope, light violence and mention of blood, romance, comedy (I think), (probably) slow burn, fluff, angst
Word count: every chapter of the series will have a different amount of wordsÂ
A/N: hi! Here we go with my first Coriolanus story!! I donât know if Coriolanus is OOC here, because I watched the movie like one month ago and I still have to read the book, but I did my best to make him similar to the character I saw. Anyway this is a fanfiction, so please donât be mad at me if heâll be, Iâll probably need him to be for the storyline. I apologize to the people in the tags, because Iâm really late with the upload, but Iâve been really busy in the past few weeks. Anyway, I hope you like it. Enjoy! XÂ
Tag list: @meeksity, @mxacegrey, @astess, @jasmineee05.Â
Masterlist
Prologue â Donât fall in love with meÂ
âCoriolanus Snow? Are you sure?â
âYeah. Whatâs the matter, Y/N? You think you canât make him fall in love with you?â Sejanus asks with a grin.Â
âOh no, I was just thinking about the amount of money youâre gonna give me when Iâll winâ.
âDonât, heâs not easyâ.
âA challenge, uh? Even better!â You exclaim. âNow excuse me, but I have to go. Before your last drink, watch me sing and put under my spell mister Coriolanus Snowâ.
âCareful, Y/N. You donât wanât to fall in love, right? People say heâs got a very cute pair of blue eyesâ.
âI prefer the color green as my money, Sejanus. Prepare to loseâ.
âI think you donât know whatâs coming for you, Y/Nâ.
You run to the stage, your place in the world, where you can finally give free scope to your passion: singing. Singing has always made you feel free, but tonight, perhaps due to the tension of the challenge, you feel a constriction in your chest. You and a little tipsy Sejanus have agreed on a bet against Coriolanus, but you have a better idea to win: you will tell him everything immediately, in order to pretend to be together for a while, so Sejanus will pay you and you will split the money with Coriolanus. No one will be fooled in the end, right? And then everyone knows that he needs that money too, so he certainly won't suffer from it. While you taste the victory on the tip of your tongue, the words escape your mouth. You apologize to the audience and your gaze falls right on Coriolanus, who isn't paying you the slightest attention, while he's drinking a beer on the sidelines, his Peacekeeper uniform making his eyes as blue as the tide stand out. Sure, Sejanus was right, but that doesn't change anything: a pair of light eyes isn't enough to make you fall in love.
Coriolanus Snow goes to the Academy, he dresses well, but that doesn't mean he's rich, far from it. You, on the other hand, were kicked out of the Academy because you didn't like their behavior, which is why Sejanus is your best friend. You always had the feeling that Coriolanus liked to follow the rules, but in reality he probably preferred to have control, power or money more than a conscience. That's why he's never been kicked out and you've never particularly bonded. It's not that you're greedy, no, it's just that you need money for your family and if a stupid bet can get it easily, then you will do anything to earn it, since the pub doesn't pay you enough for your fantastic shows. And anyway, Coriolanus is certainly an attractive guy, which isn't a bad thing.
âThis song is dedicated to all the handsome blue-eyed boys here,â you announce, then grin, while some of your fellow soldiers make fun of Coriolanus and he finally notices your presence. âThis song is called Nothing you can take from me and I dedicate it to my old school friend, Coriolanus Snow. Come say hello to me later, Coryo!â You exclaim with a wink and notice his gaze shift to you. For a second, just one, you feel a shiver run down your spine. You would never have believed that playing with fire could make you feel so cold.
Your song makes everyone present dance, everyone except him obviously, who continues to stare at you coldly, without smiling or saying a word, like a marble statue and this almost scares you. It also happened at the Academy, but there you didn't pay attention to it, also because there was no need to win his attention, but here there is a lot of money at stake and you need it desperately.
You descend onto the stage with a feline leap, you leave your guitar aside, while a roar of applause and compliments accompanies you behind the scenes, hoping that Coriolanus will follow you. The door closes behind you, but when you turn around, no one is there. Well, no big deal, it means you'll go look for it later or tomorrow at the latest, there's no rush anyway. But you feel observed and this sensation worries you a lot: it's as if you have someone behind your back.
"Well?"
You turn around, surprised that he's there. Up close he's taller than you remember and you can see his blonde hair well, even though it's shaved. His arms are crossed as he looks you up and down, but without eyeballing you, just a look of pure curiosity painted on his face. So why do you feel like a hunted animal?
âCoryoâ.
"Do not call me that. You asked me to come here, right? You asked for my attention in front of everyone. I'm here now. What, the cat got your tongue?â He asks you, a crooked smile somewhere between amused and mischievous that gives a sinister light to his face. He has enough charm to seem like the Devil.
âDon't get any illusions, it's just a gameâ.
âI don't like playing and you don't like winning, as far as I know.â
âThose games are abominable and I think you know it too, since you're here, right?â You ask him. His smile fades and inside you rejoice, because you know you've hit the mark.
âSpeak quickly, Y/N, the rooster crows early in the morning.â
âI have a proposition for you,â you tell him, getting dangerously close to him. He doesn't take a step back, but you see him on guard, almost as if he expects to be stabbed at any moment. âI bet Sejanus that I would make you fall in love with me,â you reveal to him and he smiles wickedly. âI only did it because he promised me money in return and my family needs it. I'm telling you this because I think we could pretend to be together for a while so he'll think we're really in love. In the end, I will split the money with you, since you need it as much as I do,â you explain to him.
For a moment, he observes you, perhaps because he is trying to understand whether you are sincere or not, then he nods, his face serious.
âYou know, maybe I was wrong about you: you like winning as much as I do.â
âI wouldn't play if it wasn't for a serious reason. We both know that Sejanus pays and well."
âBut he's your friend, right? I wonder why he is doing all this."
âMaybe he's just bored.â
âPerhaps,â Coriolanus repeats, thoughtfully. âAnyway, Tigris must never know. I only ask for this in return,â he says and you offer him your hand.
"Deal".
âAnd try not to fall in love with me, Y/N. Unlike many others, I don't like playing. You wouldn't survive."
âThere's no danger, Coriolanus,â you say, shaking his hand.
Now you feel less sure: why do you feel like you've just sealed a pact with the Devil?
#erule's masterlist#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus fanfiction#coryo x reader#coriolanus snow fanfiction#coriolanus snow head canon#coriolanus snow x you#coriolanus snow blurb#coriolanus snow imagine#coriolanus snow one shot#coriolanus snow fluff#coriolanus snow fake dating#coriolanus snow x fem!reader
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Ghost from your past | jj maybank
Pairing: JJ Maybank x fem!reader
Summary: you were in a relationship with JJ before something very huge happened, but you donât remember anything. When you come back after a while, you fall in love with him again.
Warnings: memory loss trope, mention of a car accident and injuries, mention of people being half naked but theyâre not ever really naked, fluff, angst, sexual tension (no smut/implied smut)
Word count: 4.5K
A/N: hi! I just finished s3 and I needed to write something about JJ. And let me tell you, that after a lot of months of being away, it felt good! Hope you like it. Enjoy! x
It's the longing. It's the constant thinking about her that hurts you. It's that feeling of envy you get when you watch John B kiss Sarah and feel ashamed, because you should be happy for your best friend. It's the desire to go back to when it was just you, her and John B lying on your sofa, the one on the porch, on summer evenings when your father was at the pub and they kept you company. You pointed to a star and said it had a certain name, then Y/N asked if it was true and John B laughed because he knew you were lying, even if with conviction. Then, in that little space between John B falling asleep and your father staggering up the street from the pub, you could play a bit of a jerk with her. Now you regret it: you could have kissed her, instead of always talking. What's the point of telling yourself that you have certain feelings, if you don't even have the time to show them? Many things had happened in one year and now you seem to have forgotten them all, one by one. They were clouded by your head, so you don't have to go over them, always one by one.
It's the longing. It's in the stare you give to some random girls on the street, the ones that look like her. But they're never her. Not because they're different people, just because they can't be her. Her parents made her leave. You don't blame them, they took the right decision for her. Getting her away from this place was probably the best thing to do after what happened. Snatching it right out of your hands, somehow causing you to bleed out, that was the worst part, but again, you're adamant that they did it right. If you had enough money, you probably would have left too. Indeed, for sure. You would have brought John B with you to look for her. Sure, maybe the others too, since after all they had known her. Sarah would have liked her too, especially since she too had abandoned the comfortable Kook life to be with you. She had tried to get you into hers, but you just couldn't live with her, with her parents, to wear those clean and elegant clothes. She was part of you, but those clothes didn't belong to your personality. So she shook her head that day, gave you a curled-lip smile and said, "You're such an idiot, JJ Maybank, to give up this rich life just for your stupid morals". Then you shrugged your shoulders, took her in your arms and answered her: "What can I say? I'm a romantic, I love danger too much to be able to live without it". And she had laughed. Nothing had made sense since that laugh. You realized that living without her wasn't an option anymore, so you gave in, after years of you and her hanging around, after she made her feelings for you clear, after you yelled at her that you weren't a someone you could build something with because you only knew how to destroy everything you touched. You kissed her. You fell into her web or maybe you just gave in to your own feelings.
And then, well, sure, you're not wrong, are you, JJ? You had destroyed the only beautiful thing that life had wanted to give you.
You pass in front of her house as always. Usually her parents have dinner in the kitchen and you see the lights on, but tonight it's all off. You don't pay too much attention to it, because it has happened on other days for some special occasion, like her mother's birthday or their anniversary. You wonder if she still hears from them, wherever she is. Wherever you would like to be too.
You walk down the street with your hands buried in your pockets, staring at your dusty, time-worn shoes. Since today would be her birthday, you've decided to wear the good clothes, the ones her family gave you. Your family who, incidentally, have always subtly hated you, but you only came to know about it at the end. âLast Dayâ isn't the last day you saw her, as you spied her getting on the plane as she left, but it's the one you spoke to her parents about the last time. Instinctively, your fingers touch the ring you wear around your neck, hanging from a silver chain that she gave you. Sometimes you wish you could afford to buy that plane ticket just so you could see her, even if it would hurt your heart.
When you arrive at the beach bonfire, you immediately notice John B and Pope chatting with a couple of red glasses in their hands. Sarah and Kiara are probably refilling their glasses somewhere, but you can't see them around. You raise a hand in greeting, then approach them. A little further are Rafe and Topper with their other Kook friends staying laughing and joking amiably, but to you they just look despicable as usual.
âJJ!â A voice behind you calls you. You turn around and see Kiara greeting you, Sarah next to her and another girl next to her who threatens to run into you.
"Damn, sorry!" She says to you, risking to slip, but you hold her by offering her your arms to hold on, while the content that was just before her in her glass soils your shirt.
You think her voice sounded strangely familiar, while in a room of your mind you're screaming because she ruined your new clothes. You're about to tell her, just to be polite, that you don't mind, especially since she's friends with Kiara and Sarah, but your voice dies in your throat when you look up. She's still staring at your chest, you don't know why, but you're looking at her.
It's not possible. You tell yourself it's not possible at all, because it's a small island and there are at least three people having a birthday today, not just her, but the party must be for her. So why didn't the others tell you? Why did John B arrange for you to meet her, unprepared? You repeat to yourself that it's not possible, because she was studying elsewhere, she was no longer part of this place, this place that stole everything from her: you, her memory, almost her life. Oh no, it hurts too much to look into her eyes right now, as she smiles at you and says something you don't understand, while she doesn't even recognize you. Maybe this hurts you more than anything else.
"What is your name? Come by my house later, I'll wash your clothes. I'm so sorry, really! I'm Y/N, the birthday girl,â she says, her words bursting out of her mouth and confusing you even more.
John B comes up beside you quickly, he puts a hand on your shoulder and tells Y/N your name is JJ. Your name is JJ and you're still in love with her: these are the only certainties you have.
âAre you sure you haven't met before? Did you fight? JJ looks like he just saw a ghost!â Sarah jokes, but Kiara's shocked expression supports her thesis. "Y/N, you told me you didn't even know who it was".
"But it is so! I don't know any of you guys, sorry. I went to school with Topper and Rafe. And then I would remember a guy like that,â Y/N lets slip.
"As well as?" John B asks, grinning.
Y/N swallows, embarrassed.
"Well, cute".
At that point, something inside you awakens and you wear the careless mask on your face again. You kiss the back of her hand, then wink.
âNice to meet you, Y/N. You've already risked falling at my feet, I'd say you've been clear about your feelings for me,â you joke, but those words are like a stab in the center of your chest.
She raises an eyebrow, but she's smiling.
âCheeky and likable â a great combination, I would sayâ.
âY/N, there you are! Stop wasting time with these Pogues and come talk to us again,â Rafe says, putting his arm around your shoulders and you begin to feel a flame leap from within.
âIsn't it among the duties of a birthday girl to talk to all the guests? It would be rude to leave now,â you say and Rafe glares at you.
âHe's right,â Kiara snaps in quickly and Pope, who has just arrived, nods, even though he probably doesn't even know what you're talking about.
âSee you later, Rafe,â you say then, walking with the others.
You stay behind with Kiara and Sarah to ask them how they met her, but John B yanks you through another door.
âJJ, I didn't know she was back, I swear!â He whispers and you sigh.
"Yeah, well, me neither! I nearly had a heart attack when I saw her".
âI noticed,â John B. chuckles. âWhat are you going to do now?â
âI won't tell her anything, John B. Hopefully, she'll be alone for the summer and then she'll be back where she came from. Trust me, it's better for her to know nothing".
âJJ, you're my best friend and I'm tired of watching you suffer. I think she would like to know that you were her boyfriend."
âI screwed her up with one of my usual stupid plans. I don't think she would want to know that, instead,â you retort. John B sighs.
"As you like".
You all gather near a rock, a few meters from the sea, managing to hear the roar of the waves loud and clear in your ears. You used to love hearing Y/N's voice, but then you forgot it and now you can't even remember what timbre it had.
âWhat is that thing she has around his neck?â You hear her ask Kiara and she laughs.
âThat necklace? It's a gift from his ex, an older girl he was with a while ago."
"Really? JJ, you never told me about this!â Sarah exclaims. "I wish I'd known her."
You give her a perfunctory smile as you pretend to accidentally slip your elbow in the ribs of John B, who is laughing.
âJohn B always says he looks like a widower because of that ring around his neck,â adds Pope.
âJohn B is not nice at all, I don't even know why I'm friends with him,â you say, narrowing your eyes. "Anyway, we were together for a year, then it ended badly and now I've been single for a year."
âWould you like to apply?â John B asks and you glare at him.
âI don't think I've started off on the right foot,â Y/N says, nodding at your clothes.
âOh, these? Forget it, I don't need it anyway,â you say and start undoing the buttons of your shirt.
âJJ, what are you doing?â Kiara asks, surprised.
âI'm going to take a bath,â you answer simply. You take off your shoes, then your pants and finally your shirt. The necklace stays with you, though: you never leave that one. It would be like leaving her.
You throw yourself into the sea and you finally feel free. The others follow suit, even Y/N. Once upon a time you would have hugged her and said: "Don't worry, I'll protect you from sea urchins" and she would have laughed, so you could have filled your ears with her laughter, but now you're not allowed to.
You still remember the escalators, when you went down them in reverse as you watched her approach the airport gate. You stopped on a step and climbed it until you were out of sight of her, hoping you never hit the ground. But then you got there on land and you had to let her go. John B told you you shouldn't have made that sacrifice, but you thought you'd do anything for her.
âCome to my house, later,â you hear her voice in your ear and shivers run up your back, even run down your spine. You turn around, a little intrigued and a little confused. âIt's not a date, I just want to wash your clothes that I soiled you. My parents are still at the restaurant where we celebrated my birthday. I'll clean it up for you and then you go home, I promise,â she smiles at you and for a moment her gaze is so genuine you think she recognizes you, but a moment after you say yes, she's already walking up to Sarah.
You would have liked a different ending, it's true, but even just seeing her again makes you recover some oxygen and you're too selfish to be able to give up on her again.
âWhat did she tell you?â John B asks you.
âYou know John B, curiosity killed the cat,â you say, before jokingly shoving him head underwater, ears muffled and a lump in his throat. If he knew you felt like this all the time since she's been gone, maybe he'd help but tease you so much, even though you know he does it because he loves you.
You enter Y/N's house barefoot, your shirt undone around your waist and your sand-stained shoes in your hands. You are fearful, because Y/N's parents weren't very kind to you last time, indeed not at all, and it scares you to enter here, as if you could see them jumping on you from the walls at any moment. You look around warily, noting that this house has remained the same since you left, giving up everything. A part he still curses himself for it, but it was for the best given what happened next. What probably would have happened anyway.
You get to the bathroom, start undressing again, but seeing Y/N turn around to give you your space makes you laugh heartily.
âYou just saw me half naked, there's nothing you haven't seen by now,â you say and Y/N shakes a hand, still turned, as if to say no, he won't turn.
âIt's not the same: before it was like you were in a swimsuit, now you would be in underwear. I don't want to be inappropriate."
âY/N, only your integrity is inappropriate here. You can also look at me,â you say.
Look at me, always look at me.
âThere are some of my father's clothes on the washing machine, put them on; then when you're done you tell me and I start the washing machine. I'm going to go change for a while too,â Y/N replies, heading into her room.
She changes you quickly, always afraid that her parents will come and find you half naked with their daughter, then put your clothes in the washing machine. You leave the bathroom, walk down the corridor and stop in front of her half-closed door. You start to knock, just to let her know you've changed, but you stop when you see her trying to undo the dress by herself through the looking glass. You would like to help her, but you freeze on the spot: you didn't know how much you missed being able to touch her until now, as if it were a primordial need you forgot about and which has only now surfaced. You swallow a ton of saliva while you see her undo the zipper, then you turn abruptly: it would be inappropriate to look at her now and you giggle thinking about the words she used just now.
Y/N comes out of the room in pajamas a minute later and smiles to see her father's clothes fit loose on you. She then throws her clothes into the washing machine and starts it off.
âAre you sure we have enough time before your parents get back?â
âNo, but just in case you'll hide in the closet,â she replies.
"You're joking, aren't you?"
She bites her lip, a gleam of amusement in her eyes.
"Maybe not".
But you don't have to lock yourself in the closet at the end, because the two hours pass quietly and smoothly. You chatted with her like in the old days, savoring every word, every minute together, every time you could touch her hand or shoulder without apologizing.
You change quickly, again, then greet her at the back door, lest her parents might see you through the front door. You look at her thinking that you still have at least three months to be next to her, which is still more than you ever thought you could, but it seems to have wasted too much time already.
âHey, JJ,â she says and you turn to face her.
"Yes?"
âYour face has looked familiar to me all evening. Are you sure we've never seen each other before?"
You swallow slowly, pondering whether it might not be better to confess the whole truth at this point, but then you pull back again.
"No. Trust me, I would remember you".
She smiles at you, head cocked to one side.
"Careful, your girlfriend might be jealous".
You slowly approach her, who remains motionless staring at you, almost frightened, so you raise your palms in surrender. You see her shoulders relax, then you leave a kiss on her cheek, her lips lingering on her skin that still tastes like salt.
"Then we might as well give her something to really be jealous about, don't you think?" You tell her with a grin, then say goodbye for real and walk away.
***
It's been two months. You've laughed with her, joked with her, talked to her, but she still doesn't seem to remember anything about you. Doctors said it could happen, but her memory has not returned. At this point, according to John B, it is better to create new memories and you agree. It would be so much better if she didn't come back to her house in a month and even better if you weren't aware that her parents hate you, but that's okay, she's here, so everything looks better anyway. Her parents know she's seeing you again, you saw their contemptuous looks at the door when you picked her up the other night, but they haven't said anything. But you know it, oh if you know it! You know they would like to see you disappear from her life forever. If only you weren't so in love with her, you already would have.
âJJ, hey, what are you thinking about?â She asks you and you come back to reality.
âThe fact that the Big Dipper is clearly visible in the sky tonight,â you lie and she immediately looks at the place your finger is pointing.
"But you are sure? I do not see it!" She exclaims and you laugh. "You're a liar!"
She jostles you playfully, so you hug her and keep laughing until you notice her father looking at you from the window. You immediately move away from her, your hands in your pockets and your eyes fixed on your shoes. She notices your sudden change right away and turns to see her father staring at you.
âJJâŚâ
"No, don't tell him anything, it's fine."
âNo, that's not good! We weren't doing anything wrong,â you retort. "Besides, I don't understand why you always defend them."
You can't tell her. You can't tell her about how they threatened you during "The Last Day", you can't tell her about the flowers you had to throw away running down the stairs, you can't tell her that when you think about it, your left cheekbone still hurts, what it was hurt against the window of the Twinkie when you braked hard. You can't do this to her.
"TheyâŚ"
âIf you feed me one more of your lies, JJ, I swear IâŚâ
âY/N, come home,â your father says, at the doorway.
She looks at you as if she's begging you to fight, to tell her she has to stay with you, but you remain silent. And yet, a part of you is happy, because she finally recognizes that look in your eyes, the look of longing, as if it were a mirror of yours.
Maybe there is still hope and you think about this as you walk away.
You're mentally going over your shopping list as you fill the inflatable pool with water when Y/N arrives. She's carrying a blanket, a couple of bags and sheâs wearing a bathing suit.
"What are you doing here?" you ask her. "Did we have a date, by any chance?"
âFirst you flirt with me,â she begins, leaving the blanket on the floor, âthen you defend my parents,â she continues, leaving everything else too, âand in the end you think you can get away with disappearing for a whole day? No, now we're going to settle this once and for all".
You raise an eyebrow as you reach over to open the envelopes: a few beers, some water, plenty of food, and a couple of shirts his father's size. She practically did the shopping for you!
âDid you rob a supermarket, by any chance?â
âNo, just my house. I want to help you, JJ. I know things are bad for you and you live alone, Sarah told me. It's not true that your father works abroad: he's gone,â you say. You look at her with sadness mixed with anger, because you know that now he will start feeling pity for you, new ones and it was the last thing you wanted. âI'm really sorry and I don't want you to feel embarrassed about me, but I can't help but help you if I can. I would do it with anyone, you know."
âWhat did you want to talk to me about?â You ask, changing the subject. She notices it, but she doesn't flinch.
Grab a beer, then enter the small pool and she does the same shortly after. She stares intently into your eyes, as if sheâs deciding how to introduce the topic.
âYou're burning my retinas, Y/N. What is happening?"
Y/N blows the air out, then puts the beer on the grass.
âI never asked you anything, JJ, because it didn't feel right. Before we weren't even friends, then the line got thinner and thinner and my mind got clouded, because my feelings for you have changed. I would like to understand what we are, but I don't want to scare you, although maybe now I have, because I'm a person who talks too much,â she says, ruffling her hair. "Sorry, I just wanted to ask what happened with that girl, because every time I lean in to kiss you, it seems to me that you're thinking about her".
For a moment, her words catch you off guard, then you compose yourself. If she noticed it in two months, maybe everyone else noticed it in a year too. Maybe even her parents.
"When did you try to kiss me?" You ask, throat dry and voice hoarse.
"You really never noticed?" She asks, chuckling. âEvery time I've gotten this close to you,â she replies, walking the short distance to you in the pool where she's practically on her knees due to how small it is. Her lips seem to exhale the last breath that chokes in the middle of her throat, while her nose brushes yours. Your heart is beating like a pneumatic hammer in your chest, it seems to you that your ribcage could burst at any moment, while her hand goes up your arm, up to your neck, up to your jaw, cheek, chin. Every fiber of your body cries out for just one kiss to die in from her, but she doesn't touch you, not where you want to.
âWhat are we doing?â You ask, but your voice begs her to cancel that distance, to surrender to you, so you can avoid saying that it's all your fault, for once.
âYou tell me,â she replies. âI do what you wantâ.
You swallow, tense.
âOh, to Hell with it!â You exclaim and drag her with you to Hell.
You kiss her passionately, your hands all over her body, but then stop on the back of her neck, as you deepen your knowledge of her, as if you didn't know who she was, as if you didn't know that seeing her leave broke your heart and that it he'll do it again, even if he doesn't want to, as if I don't know every inch of his body or soul. It's a fire that's finally burning inside you now, after keeping it at bay for far too long.
And then you hug her. You hold her close to you, her lips pressed into the crook of her neck and you feel her trembling in your arms. You only realize you're strangely wet on her shoulder when she lets out a sob.
âWhat happened to me?â She asks you and it's like taking a cold shower in the middle of winter.
âSo you know,â you say, but yours seems more like a question.
âYou have a scar on your cheekbone. Sarah told me you got it while falling and I would have believed it, except I have one too, on her forearm, but I don't remember how I got it,â she confesses. You shake your head, as if begging her not to ask you to do this, not to ask you to hurt her on purpose. But she continues: âI'm the older girl, aren't I JJ? I have the ring in the jewelry box in my room. My parents won't tell me the truth, but I need to know: why did we break up? Did we have an accident? What happened?"
You sigh, then stroke her arm. You don't want to tell her the truth, but you have to: now it's time to know.
âWe had an accident. I was driving the Twinkie and you were sitting next to me. We ended up in the hospital, you woke up after me. I was bringing you flowers for your awakening, but your parents intercepted me before I could enter your room, before you even actually opened your eyes. Your mother told me to get out of your life,â you say and see her contrite expression on her face. âSo when the doctors said you didn't remember anything from senior year, I jumped at the chance and ran. But they were right, Y/N, I had to leave you alone. I wanted to do it now too, but I was selfish. But I promise you that when you get back there, I won't..."
âI'm not going back there,â she cuts you off abruptly, with pride in her eyes. "JJ, I remember you."
You shake your head, confused.
"What?"
âMemories came back a while ago, but I needed to know about my parents, so I didn't tell you anything. Iâm sorry. I remembered everything when you said you saw the Big Dipper,â he says, smiling.
You run a hand over his face, not even knowing what to feel. You should be relieved, yet you feel scared.
âWhat will happen now?â You ask.
She takes your necklace in her hands, playing with the ring.
âYou're no longer a widower, JJ,â she says and you smile at her, feeling her throat choke with her tears.
"And your parents?"
âThey'll get over it. Besides, what can I do if I fell at your feet?â
You burst out laughing, then you kissed her again.
âDo you remember what you told me the day of the accident?â She asks you.
âThat I loved you,â you reply and she nods.
âThis memory I can see as clearly as I see you now. It's not over until it's over."
You stroke her cheek, then hug her again, happy in the knowledge that it's not the last time this time.
#erule's masterlist#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank#outer banks#obx#obx3#rudy pankow#rudy pankow x reader#jj maybank fluff#jj maybank angst#jj maybank os#jj maybank one shot#jj maybank blurb#jj maybank hc#jj maybank headcanon#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank smut#jj maybank fic#jj maybank ff#jj maybank fanfic#jj maybank fanfiction
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CORIOLANUS SNOW MASTERLIST
Series
Nothing you can take
Prologue; chapter 1
#erule's masterlist#coriolanus snow#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus x you#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus snow fanfiction#coriolanus snow imagine#coriolanus snow blurb#coriolanus snow headcanon#coriolanus snow one shot#coriolanus snow x fem!reader#coriolanus snow angst
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JJ MAYBANK MASTERLIST
One-shots
Ghost from your past
You were in a relationship with JJ before something very huge happened, but you donât remember anything. When you come back after a while, you fall in love with him again.Â
Do I look like I care?
You ask JJ to dance with you at the Midsummer, but things donât go as planned.
#erule's masterlist#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank angst#jj maybank os#jj maybank one shot#jj maybank#outer banks#obx#obx 3#rudy pankow x reader#jj maybank fluff#jj maybank imagine#jj maybank blurb#jj maybank smut#jj maybank hc#jj maybank headcanon#jj maybank fic#jj maybank ff#jj maybank fanfic#jj maybank fanfiction
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High school heartbreaker | s.h.
Pairing: Steve Harrington x reader
Summary: You were in love with Steve when you were in high school together, but he didnât know about that. Now you meet him by chance at college and you wonder if things could change.
Warnings: kinda rom-com with some clich��s probably, unrequited love, A LOT of angst, fluff, mention of nose bleeding, mention of smoking, language, jealous!Steve, mutual pining in the end, happy ending, Robin, Eddie
Word count: 3K
A/N: hi! I wrote this based on a true experience, except for the fact that this ends well. Steve is my favourite character in Stranger Things and he was beyond perfect for this story. Feedback is always appreciated by a writer! Hope yâall like it. Enjoy! x
First day of college and youâre terrified.
Why? Well, letâs start from the beginning, shall we?
So, three months ago, you said goodbye to your school, then to your friends, then again to your best friend (who was supposed to go to college with you, before she betrayed you to follow the âcool guysâ) and, last but not least, your high school crush. He was the first person you met on the bus on your first day of school, then he became your friend, but even if the two of you were never really close, somehow your heart managed to fall in love with him. The issue with that? He was in love with someone else. Of course. He dated Nancy Wheeler and you were just the friend that sometimes comforted him during their fights. You were important. So, the last day of school, you hugged him and said: âTo new adventures, Steve. Maybe weâll meet again in the futureâ and he just smirked at you. It was the moment you knew that he never loved you.
Anyway, now youâre on your own again after all of these years, while Steveâs probably far away with Nancy, having the time of his life. Thatâs how being a teenager should look like, right? Society tells it every day, but it doesnât happen to everybody. You can also be alone and succeed, but it doesnât mean that youâre lonely.
You finally arrive at class. The professor still has to come along, but people are already saying that heâs annoying. How great. You wonder what theyâre thinking, while theyâre talking with their friends. It seems like youâre the only one without one, as usual. High school was a lot of things, but at least you had your best friend to go through everything. Now itâs different. College can be scary, but you just have to breathe. So you take a deep breath, eyes closed, for three seconds. When you open your eyes, you see that the professor is entering into the room so you turn to your right in order to take your block notes.
âHey,â somebody says and when you look up your heart begins to race faster than ever, while your brain still has to process who just spoke.
No way.
âWhat? The cat ate your tongue?â
Your eyes grow wide, but fortunately the professor ask for some silence to begin the lesson.
âSteve?â
He gives you a smile.
âThe one and onlyâ.
And this, this feeling of being on fire, is exactly how you know that your crush on somebody has never gone away.
Youâre in the bathroom, door closed. This is not something that was supposed to happen today! How can he be at your college? Studying the same things as you? This has to be a nightmare. Does it mean that thereâs also Nancy around the corner? No, this is going to become really painful really fast. You thought that you had already being punished enough, when you were forced to see him with Nancy every damn day for the last three years at school, but it seems that you werenât.
You see a pair of shoes under the door and you gulp. Nancy?
âHey, are you okay? You seemed pale when you arrived,â somebody says.
Youâre so relieved that itâs not Nancy, that you open the door and hit the girl. She yells something, when you see that her nose is bleeding.
âOh no, Iâm so sorry! Here, take a napkin,â you say, but she shakes her head.
âDonât worry, itâs not painful as when I saw my best friend wear a sailorâs uniform for work,â she said, but you just looked at her, confused. âAnyway, I hope that youâre okayâ.
âMe? Youâre literally bleeding!â
âItâs nothing. Some jokes on my friend and Iâm gonna feel better instantly. Youâll see. Come with me, you should meet him,â she says, while looking at her nose in the mirror. Now it seems better.
âOkay, thanks. This day feels like a nightmare to me already,â you say. She furrows her eyebrows.
âYeah? Why?â
âI donât know anybody, except for my high school crush, who wasnât supposed to be here anyway,â you confess her and now you feel relieved, somehow. Talking about it makes it seem more stupid and less of a problem.
âHigh school crushes are the worst, trust me, I have a lot of experience in this topic. But tell me more! Did you date them?â
âNo, he was dating somebody else the whole time. It was exhausting,â you say, then you look at her and you wonder if you saw her in high school too. âWhatâs your name, again?â
âI didnât tell you. Iâm Robin!â She exclaims, before you stop in front of her friend, whoâs smoking a cigarette with some guys outside the college. âWhat about you?â
You freeze.
âRobin?â
âYeah. What happened? Are you okay?â
You swallow some air, when you look in front of you, only to see him winking at you.
âIs that your friend?â You ask her, pointing at him.
âYeah! How do you know that?â
Fuck. Â
âIâmâŚâ
Absolutely screwed. Â
âY/N!â Steve says, while walking over you.
âWait, youâre Y/N? The Y/N?â Robin asks and now youâre more confused than ever.
âHow do you know me?â
âY/N, apparently you met Robin. Robin, this is Y/N, we used to take the bus together. I donât know if you had ever saw her with me in high schoolâ.
âWe werenât really close in high school, SteveâŚâ You say, feeling a burden over your chest.
âBut I saw you,â Robin say, while observing your face. You probably look guilty, right now. Maybe she knew that you liked him, but she has now the confirmation of it.
âWe used to take the bus together, thatâs all,â you repeated.
âYou know, I recall the once you asked me if we were friends and I told you no, but three months ago, when you said goodbye to me, I thought that we totally were. Things change, Y/Nâ.
Not everything, no. Not your love for him.
âItâs weird, because you used not to know a lot of things about me. You probably donât even remember what I told you that day,â you say, but your heart knows that youâre lying, because you secretly hopes that he does. That he noticed you.
He shakes his head.
But sadly, youâre never wrong.
âI donât. Was it important?â He asks you, while he lights up another cigarette.
Robinâs looking at you, but you pray that she canât see your heart breaking into your eyes. Itâs just water, after all. But before that, itâs glass in your eyes. Two pieces of glass that you hold with every strength you have in yourself.
âNo, it wasnât,â you say, with a smile. That fake smile made you survive high school with him.
Then, you apologize to them, but youâre âreally busyâ, so you âhave to goâ as far as possible away from this horrible situation. You run to your house, feeling too overwhelmed by everything to think straight, to say hi to your parents, to even breathe.
You were sure that he knew that you liked him more than as a friend in high school. You didnât expect him to care, you didnât even want him to acknowledge it with you, but that was enough. He crossed the line, when he tried to be charming again, even if he had a girlfriend. When he winked at you, as he did every damn day in high school. When he tried to be funny with you. You just want some peace.
Two weeks after that, though, you find yourself following Steve again as in high school. You wonder if things can change now, if you can be friends with him like youâd be with another guy, but when you see him winking at you while youâre staring at him smoking, your heart tells you the answer: No. But you try to be that anyway, because you love the way he makes you laugh while youâre trying to study or his dumb jokes about the professors. He always seems so full of self-confidence, he could light up a whole room. Your eyes are always on him as if he was the sun. Too stunning not to look at him. Too stunning to burn your eyes.
âItâs a matter of fact, Y/N: Iâm the best at it and you know thatâ.
âAt picking horrible movies? Yeah, I agree with that,â you chuckle.
âI literally work here, Y/N, youâre ruining everything with the clients! Come on, choose something cool for tonight,â he says.
âFootloose is off the list, Steve, donât give me the puppy eyes,â you reply, while taking Back to the Future.
âMarty McFly? Really?â
âOh, you know my type: sarcastic, sweet and reckless,â you joke, but the look he gives you is very much eloquent, alongside his crooked smile. Your cheeks are made of Hellâs fire, right now.
âSounds almost as awesome as me, baby,â he says, but even if his tone is ironic, you doubt that heâs trying to flirt with you, because for a moment it seemed like that.
But you are probably wrong.
***
It has been a month since that day. Robin didnât say anything to you about Steve, but you know that she understood whatâs going on. Luckily, sheâs a good friend. You have grown closer to them, but also with another guy, Eddie. He likes playing D&D, rock music and he makes a lot of jokes. Heâs really funny, but every time you see Steve, your heart aches in your chest. Thatâs why youâre thinking about going to another college. Youâre sick of feeling that way and the exams are getting closer and closer. Eddie said that he could come with you, since he doesnât have any friends anyway.
Youâre trying to study in your room, when you hear a knock. You turn around, only to see Steve waving at you. He seems to feel the coldness of the air, because itâs raining outside. You open the window, so he can come in.
âThereâs the front door for this, Steve,â you say.
âUsually, you say hi to people before you scold them,â he jokes, but you donât laugh.
âIâm not in the mood. What do you want?â
âWhy are you not in the mood?â
âIs there anybody else you can annoy? Robin? Nancy?â You ask, but he glances at you because of the irritated way you said the last name.
âNancy and I broke up,â he say. Time freezes all around you. You finally look at him, at his face and you gulp. Heâs still handsome as he was in high school and this is tearing you apart. Itâs incredible how much power he still has over you. He never treated you right before, but you thought to see something that others couldnât that you loved: his vulnerability, his kindness and his tormented soul. Being the king is amazing, but wearing the crown could feel like a burden, sometimes. And well, you can feel lonely under it. âThis Summer, actuallyâ.
You swallow.
âIâm sorry. I donât know what to sayâŚâ
âDonât be. Now ask my question: why are you not in the mood?â
You shrug.
âItâs nothing, reallyâ.
âY/N, talk to me,â he says and the way his gaze caresses your shape makes he seem hopeless.
You sigh.
âIâm thinking about moving away,â you say. He doesnât move a muscle, but the light of your lamp is drawing some scribbles into his eyes.
You wonder if he despise your idea, but before he can say anything, your phone begins to buzz. He notices it and when he sees whoâs calling you, he clenches his jaw.
âDonât answer that,â he orders.
âWhat? Steve, itâs Eddieâ.
âWeâre in the middle of something, Y/Nâ.
âIt can waitâ.
âNo, it canât!â He exclaims and you flinch. He breathes out, then he puts his hands on his hips. âIâm sorry. Iâm sorry. I just⌠Oh, come on! Just give me some attention, for onceâ.
âFor once?â You ask him. Eddie stopped calling. âI gave you three years of my life, Steve! Iâm still doing itâ.
âI know,â he says, without pride. You feel a knot in your throat, now.
âYouâve been knowing it all along, right?â
âNoâŚâ
âYou made fun of me!â
âNo, Y/NâŚâ âYou loved to be a heartbreaker at high school, didnât you? Well, you fucking broke my heart, Steve! I hope that youâre happy with itâ.
âI didnât know!â He shouts. You look at him in disbelief. Itâs not possible. You thought that he noticed that three years ago, that he knew everything by now⌠Did you just confess it to him? âIf youâd just let me explain⌠Oh, for the love of⌠Robin told me, okay? Robin told me that today. She said that I had to stop you, that I was the only one that could. Our college is the best one and you deserve the best. So I asked her why I was the only one to make you change your mind and she said⌠You know what she said,â he says, without looking at you, but you want him to tell it. To tell what youâre not brave enough to say out loud.
âI donâtâ.
He looks at you and you see that his eyes are glossy as yours. It seems almost too painful for him than to you. Heâs praying you with a gaze not to say that, but youâre firm. Itâs the closest thing you can ask him to say to you to an âI love youâ.
âThat youâre in love with me,â he says and a sob escapes from your lips. âYouâve been cruel to yourself, Y/Nâ.
âNo, thatâs exactly what I deserve to be in love with someone selfish and egocentric like youâ.
âIâm not like that anymore, Y/N. Let me prove it,â he says. âPlease.â
âIâm not falling for your lies again, Steve. Now get outâ.
âIâm gonna leave college!â He blurts out and you freeze again.
âWhat?â
âSo you donât have to do itâ.
âYouâre being insane, Steve. Go to bed,â you say, then you take his wrist in order to kick him out, but his skin is burning. He squeezes your hand.
âI remember,â he says. âAnd I didnât answer. Iâve been regretting that moment since you walked out the school. I didnât know what to sayâ.
âSteve, itâs okay, itâs not that importantâŚâ
âNo, it is. It is for you. You said: Maybe weâll meet again. And I didnât care, because Nancy was about to break up with me and I was losing my throne. And you were just a stop along the ride,â he says and your heart aches for that. âBut I was wrong. Youâve been my friend when everybody else was pretending to be one. You loved me even if I didnât treat you right. You comforted me when I fought with Nance, because you saw me. And you walked past my flaws, every fucking time. I used to think that the worst thing I did in high school was losing Nancy, but now I think that breaking your heart was. I regret not telling you that I imagined that you liked me, because maybe I would have known you better and I would have felt what I feel now for youâ.
You feel overwhelmed by his last sentence. Itâs what you have always desired to hear from his mouth, what you have always wished for at every birthday of yours, yet it feels just sad now. Perhaps, itâs too late.
âWhat do you mean?â
âIâm jealous,â he says and you see in the way he flexes his muscles that it costs him an enormous amount of strength to pronounce these words. âOf Eddie. And I know that I have no right to say this, but I am. He was the first one to know about your decision, while I was the cause of it. It broke my heartâ.
âNow you know the feeling,â you say, with a smile.
âI guess so. Y/N, please, donât go. We deserve a chanceâ.
You look at his hand, that is still on yours and something in your lungs stops working. Itâs like youâre out of breath. The emptiness canât be filled by air, because that has always been his place to be. Not in your heart, but in your lungs, to be oxygen for you to keep walking. To keep living.
âYouâre not entitled to be jealous, but neither was I at the time and yet, I was. So I get the feeling, Steve, but I donât want to be just a replacement of Nancy for you, because Iâve been waiting for this moment for years. You donât know how painful it is to love somebody who doesnât want you. And Iâve wanted you for so much time, Steve, so much timeâŚâ
âI know, Y/N, but you have to trust me: I see you right now. I see you, standing in front of me and I think that youâre beautiful. And too smart to date somebody like me, but still, Iâm praying that you do it anyway,â he says, with a genuine smile on his face and you feel a sense of warmth into your chest.
âYou should stop talking and start kissing me, right now,â you reply and so, he does it.
Itâs an explosion in your stomach. Itâs a dream that comes true when youâve lost all of your hopes. It has come the day that youâve finally felt like everything is in its place: his lips on yours, for example. The rain on the leaves in your garden. The heart in your chest that doesnât hurt anymore.
He finally fixed what he broke a long time ago.
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