#errr...let's call this...

[scribblestatic]

Because I like to make stuff up just from the most vague of associations, I recently talked about COTL and I'm writing an SVSSS fic on my other AO3 account, so now, we have Sheep Yuan.

Basically, Shen Yuan transmigrates and is gonna get put into Shen Qingqiu at an earlier time, but Shen Qingqiu's soul is a tenacious motherfucker, so it doesn't give up despite his qi deviation. Without a good vessel to put Shen Yuan's soul in, the system finds the nearest body that can accommodate him.

It ends up being in the body of a spirit sheep on Xin Ya (fan-made) Peak with all the rest of the beasties being studied and/or eaten (they do animal husbandry and farming, too).

Sheep Yuan doesn't quite remember his past life at first because yeah, the little lamb brain needs time to process human thought. Like, sheep are smart, but not quite able to compute to the same level as humans, so the sheep body's gonna have to adapt. So, he kinda follows through the usual sheep things after he manages to stand up, not realizing he'd been a stillborn lamb just a few moments ago.

He also doesn't immediately realize that his "mother" in this world died during childbirth until later because he was supposed to be a twin. But he and his twin got impacted and the spirit sheep couldn't handle it. All three had died, but somehow, he survived. So, now, he gets hand-fed. Despite the peak lord of Xin Ya telling the disciples not to name the animals or get too attached since they provide food for many of the peaks, one disciple does start calling him Shēng Huán (生还 = To Survive).

He's being raised and monitored on Xin Ya like other farmed spirit animals, and he's alright as long as he gets his food and has a nice place to sleep. Despite spirit sheep being herding creatures, he's not the most popular amongst his peers, so he tends to dwell around the humans more. But as he becomes more aware, he realizes that some of the lambs and sheep have gone missing, and because he's not only a sheep, he puts two-and-two together and realizes he's on the menu.

So, he starts trying to escape, despite the fact he's not even fully weaned off his milk yet. When he can't manage to escape, he tries acting cute so no one thinks about eating him just yet.

Also, as a spirit sheep with more intelligence, he figures out how to cultivate, which is something most spirit and demonic creatures figure out naturally. Since he was born a spirit sheep, he got a head start rather than a mortal cat or dog or something. So, he starts cultivating to try and acquire a human body to avoid getting eaten.

One day, he's finally put on the roster for slaughter because of a larger meat order (Dammit Bai Zhan!! Stop eating so much meat!!!). In his panic as he's led to the slaughter room, he uses qi and manages to escape, fleeing the mountain as quickly as possible.

The problem now, though, is that he's terribly lost and he's not sure he got away from Cang Qiong. In fact, he's almost certain he's still on the mountain somewhere because the qi is still quite dense! He has to escape before he's put on someone's plate!

What he doesn't realize is that he fled to Qing Jing Peak.

The grass there is tasty, so he gets a bit distracted while eating it. But then he hears a scuffle and, despite being a prey animal, goes to see what's going on. There, he sees a fluffy-haired boy getting beaten up by a bunch of older kids while a younger girl cries out beside him.

I'm sorry, human girl, but I'm sure this "A'Luo" whose name you're calling out would very much appreciate it if you did something other than that! Maybe throw a punch or a kick or something!

Anyway, he sees the boy get pretty beat up and watches as the group leaves, satisfied. The boy and girl talk, and he only kind of understands human language--he's still learning, okay? He's looking for some sort of jade guanyin? There's so much greenery around, how is this A'Luo supposed to find that?

But, well, 'Yuan,' as he calls himself (not sure why he insists on that...hmm) decides to help. With his superior animal senses + cultivation combo, he sees the guanyin hanging off a branch. He's not sure how to get it down, though...

Well, he has horns, so maybe he could knock it down!

Once the children head off, he starts knocking his head against the tree. And, yikes, it kinda hurts a bit, but good thing he's got a thick skull and nice curved horns growing in! So he smacks the tree until he manages to use qi through his horns and crack the trunk. The branches shake, and finally, the jade guanyin falls!

...Now, how is he supposed to get it to that A'Luo? And why does he even care that much? Sure, the kid looked so cute and sad, like a little bun, but he's a prey animal and those children are predators that could eat him!!

Still...just the thought of leaving the fluffy black sheep without the guanyin made his little heart hurt. Maybe he felt kinship toward that fluffy little boy.

Following the boy's scent as he trailed through the bamboo and forest, he found it strongest at a woodshed of all places. How strange...he must go there often. It's almost night time, so he likely wouldn't return. Anyway, he'd just leave the guanyin on the ground in front of the door and--

Luo Binghe returned to the woodshed with his unhealed bruises and ruddy eyes, having spent some more time searching for his guanyin. But he stopped, seeing a sheep on the mountain. Different animals went around the peaks as they pleased, but there definitely weren't any spirit sheep on the peak. So why was--

But his thoughts stopped when he saw the guanyin in the sheep's mouth.

Caught in the act, Yuan gives up and slowly approaches the boy, keeping his head low and legs ready in case he needed to run away. The boy felt...strong somehow, and it made him feel cautious.

Feeling too afraid to get too much closer, Yuan put the guanyin on the ground and backed up. Of course, the boy practically pounced on the jade, making Yuan stumble back and almost bolt. But he managed to wait, watching as the boy sobs profusely over the guanyin and thanking him.

Yuan stared at him for a bit, then his nerves get to be too much, and he fled. He needed to find his way off the mountain, after all.

[woahajimes]

i hate tumblr new format. alsooo whatd i miss

[haveihitanerve]

My favorite thing about the bats is that… they are gothamites. And sure they scare the shit out of people… but they are in Gotham. Superman is loved by his people, Flash is adored, people pray to Wonder Woman, Green Arrow is feared. But the Bats? The Bats are like all of Gotham's weird older brothers/sisters/parents. Superman and Green Lantern are visiting Batman in Gotham and all of a sudden he gets smacked in the face by a banana and they turn and find a group of teens skateboarding away and one kid calls over his shoulder ‘eat the fucking potassium you absolute brick.’ and Batman doesn't even do anything. Barry is chilling with Nightwing when a girl runs beneath the building they are sitting on and screams “Nice ass Night! But get it the fuck down here, my cats stuck in a tree.” And Nightwing does a flip off the building and just?? helps her?? Wonder Woman and Black Canary are passing through Crime Alley on their way to the Batcave and spot Red Hood standing in an alley, being lectured by a woman who is half his size and she ends the lecture by throwing two sandwiches at his face and walking away. Red Hood just takes his hood off and starts eating. Superboy is helping Red Robin defeat Scarecrow and while they’re hiding, waiting for him to walk into their trap, RR is casually conversing with a Gothamite about Hogwarts Houses, and when he says the Gothamite looks like a Gryfindor he pops his head out and screams “Yo scarecrow hes right fucking here!” J’onn is heading to the Manor to discuss League business with Bruce when he spots Robin(Damian) fighting Riddler all alone and is about to intervene when three teenagers show up and just fucking deck him instead. Damian doesn't thank them, just glowers, and one of the guys goes “you're welcome you fucking brat.” And the girl even smacks the back of his head and goes “manners.” Clark is sent to go find Tim and Steph and Damian and finds them at this girls birthday party, in full costume, eating cupcakes and drinking punch, jumping on the bouncy house and is like “errr, B-Batman needs you home.” And as one the entire birthday party group went “Fuck Batman.” Spoiler was spotted painting these guys nails, Black Bat was seen teaching calculus to a group of teenagers, Batgirl(Babs) was running after a group of kids screaming “Give me back my laptop you fucks!” Just- just the batfamily and Gothamites being annoying to each other and appreciative yet bitches. 

Bus driver: stop getting thrown at my fucking bus, i got places to be and my insurance only covers so many shatter windshields and person sized dents  Batman: I don't really control where I get thrown Bus Driver: well you better fucking start otherwise theres gonna be another fucking villain on these streets *drives away and almost runs him over* Superman: *gaping* yo-you're just gonna let him do that? Batman: *shrugs* Gotham insurance aint what its cracked up to be Superman: *staring dumbly*

[teenage-mutant-ninja-freak]

Getting drunk with your crush- Sevika

You actually can't fully believe it that you were half invited out for drinks with Sevika

you'd been working low level in Silco's operation for a few months and had a crush on her ever since you saw her

how could you not? She's big and bad and so muscular

you say half invited because FInn asked what you were doing later and you said you were going to grab a drink

Sevika said "maybe I'll see you there"

which is practically an invitation, right?

or that's what you're telling yourself

you did yourself up as nice as you could without it be obvious you were trying to impress someone

you wore those jeans that make your butt look amazing

you've always had this theory that she's an ass woman

tonight you're kind of betting on it

when you get there, you subtly look around to see if she's arrived yet

of course she has, she's sat in her usual spot, 3 drinks deep already and playing cards, winning too by the looks of things

one of the men sat with her, you recognise his face but can't recall the name, ushers you over

the only free seat is next to Sevika so you happily perch yourself there

they make small talk with you, you answer politely, always watching Sev out the corner of your eye

her thighs look to die for under the material of her trousers

your mind wanders to how to would feel to climb on top of them and grind down...

"I think someone has a crush, Sevika" one of them says while nodding to you

she lets out a snort and turns to you, half smiling

fuck you feel humiliated!

but also, fuck she's looking at you and smiling!

"I-I errr, umm... " you trail off, not really sure how to come back from that

you don't have to, she does it for you

placing a few coins in your hand she tells you "I need another whisky, and get yourself whatever you want"

you do as she tells you

"good girl" the guys call behind you and you feel yourself blush

"Leave her alone" Sevika shushes them

when you return, you put the drinks on the table and Sevika's natural hand goes to your thigh, patting it gently in thanks

but, then she doesn't remove it

she rests it there, rubbing small circles with her thumb on your inner thigh

your mind kind of goes blank

error 404, earth to y/n???

before long Sev stretches and turns to you

"These fuckers couldn't win a game if I let 'em. You play?"

you'd played a little bit of cards with your dad growing up, but you were by no means talented with them

"kind of" you manage to get out

She turns back to the men "fuck off, the big girls are gonna play"

they leave the table but stay near by, interested at how this will turn out

lets just say, you lose, you lose badly

but You have her full attention and you begin to see her eyeing you up and down

"you know" she begins "I could teach you how to actually win, so you don't end up like these sore sacks of shit"

"that would be great, actually" you say and mean it, not just because maybe this means more time with her

"Tomorrow night, come by my place. I might even let you win" she says with a wink

[dreamermonica]

—gender neutral reader x bakugou, just a drabble escalating into a oneshot cause my brain's rotting with mha (mostly katsuki) pls save me from the dump called writing block errr also mild language cuz this is boom boy

“what the hell?”

a very bad word crossed your mind the moment BAKUGOU had entered your dorm room—following shortly is a silence so dense that you swore you heard your stomach drop.

the object that had piqued the attention of your visitor were perched right upon your desk. the very same object that could very well also be the reason you meet your demise.

your dynamight plushies and figurines,

yes. plural.

—were bared in display, to the very man you harbored a big fat crush on.

the silence enveloped your room like a tight veil. a shudder makes its way down your spine when you finally felt a piercing gaze burning onto the back of your head. you are so fucked.

“i—uhm, i can explain!” you break the silence, holding your hands up whilst turning around to meet his crimson eyes—scanning you over whilst you attempt to figure out an excuse.

let's do a quick throwback:

see, you were rather confident in your abilities and quirk—one of the best, you smugly think—but academics were still a great obstacle to overcome, even for an upcoming pro hero. it's a formidable force that's against your dream becoming reality! not really, but you get the point.

damned ectoplasm shouldn't be teaching math! your brain cells were always fizzled out like kaminari's after he used up all his electricity by the time whenever ectoplasm had left the room after a discussion.

a dark cloud looms over your head more often after a particular topic you're struggling to comprehend, the fact that you were called out earlier by ectoplasm and miserably failed to answer didn't hell—and you're sure your god-sent classmates have noticed it.

a few smarties had reached out already—like yaoyorozu and iida, offering their notes with a smile and promising a few tutor lessons if you were to accept. keyword: if.

even though you were tearing up at their kindness and thoughtfulness, you gently declined them before slapping a fist to your chest—

“i shall overcome this by myself! my failure to adapt is a known weakness of mine, and i shall defeat this boss known as calculus with my own strength, no matter what it takes!”

a distant 'how manly!' sounded throughout the room.

it's not manly, you mentally cry out to kirishima. you were just embarrassed to actually get help because you were one of the top students of the class. you need to uphold your image as a capable student, whatever it takes! not so manly now, are we?!

the top one and top two worriedly glance you over, reluctant at your reasoning, but they hadn't pushed it further thankfully, and wished you good luck.

you definitely needed it, you sulk.

your stupid declaration must've spread throughout the entire class, cause now a scowling bakugou katsuki is stomping his way over to you once classes had finished, stopping a few feet away from you whilst you were packing up your stuff.

“oi. i heard your dumb ass earlier—why are you refusing to ask for help?! you plan on getting behind all of us just because of that damn picture perfect image of yours?!” he yells, and you're now sweating, twiddling with your fingers.

you're not surprised that he approached you—he had declared you as one of his rivals (he called you a stepping stone to his victory but same thing!) ages ago and knowing his competitive nature, you surmised he was probably disappointed that you were stumped in such a pathetic way.

“w-what pride do you mean, bakugo? haha...”

“shut the fuck up. you know what i'm talking about,” a finger presses onto your chest as if to emphasize his point, and you just now realize the distance between you.

caramel wafts its way to your nose. heat crawls up your neck as you avert your gaze away from his chiseled face.

he hisses at your dazed look, “i'm beating calculus into your goddamn brain later tonight whether you like it or not, you got that extra?!”

you break out of your stupor when he leans away from you to gauge your reaction. of course he'd say something like that, even if he was just trying to help.

you shrink under his gaze, embarrassed and defeated at his intensity. if even the big bad bakugo thinks you need help, then maybe you really do.

“...okay.” you resign after a few seconds of contemplation, “thank you, bakugo.”

clicking his tongue, he gives you one last look before turning on his heels, walking towards the door.

you look around and realize that you were the only ones left in the classroom. did he offer his help in private so you would keep the image you're upholding? eh, whatever, he was probably the embarrassed one because he never offers help willingly to anyone.

you blink.

wait—he never helps unless someone would beg on their knees for him, so why—

“...you were always the one preaching about lowering my pride or whatever,”

your eyes dart towards the sound of his voice where bakugo paused his steps at the exit, glaring at you over his shoulder.

he huffs as he adds on, “cut that shit out, hypocrite.”

you blink owlishly and he's gone as he turned the corner, his loud footsteps echoing through the hall.

shaking your head, you pack your stuff up and rush out the door shortly after, eager to return to the comfort provided by your bed.

his words ring in your ears as you walked back to the dorms.

—now, baam, we're back to the present.

you're so fucked, if it wasn't mentioned earlier.

bakugou katsuki is now staring at you, silently demanding an explanation on why you have a row of mini dynamights, ranging from the winter version of his costume, to one of him wearing his signature black tank top—he hasn't even debuted yet as a pro-hero, so the amount you have is probably concerning. maybe even borderline creepy.

fuck being creepy—this probably looks horrifying!

“it's—uh...”

you hadn't had the chance to hide them before he so rudely, barged into your room carrying the materials needed for your study session.

“well, you're my idol, because you're so strong and—” inflate his ego! it's not like it wasn't the truth either with how much you compliment him during training, so maybe he'll be distracted enough and let it slide—

“did ponytail make these for you?” he asked quietly, ignoring your praises and walking past your panicked state as he got closer to inspect the tiny versions of him. he slowly took one from the bunch—a plushie of him wearing the suit he specifically used for a mission in otheon. “how the hell are the outfits so accurate?”

“...”

“answer my questions and i'll let this weird obsession of yours a secret, fuckin' creep.” he seems to like the way you took in his words, horrified, a smirk dancing on his lips as he turns away.

this sadist, you swear to all might...

“okay, okay! so uh...” you gulp as he continues inspecting the army of tiny bakugous, “yes, i had yaoyorozu make them. as for the outfits—i borrowed your blueprints, remember? it was to find some inspiration in enhancing my own costume, but i guess it also had some other uses...?”

he grunts in response to your explanation as his eyes move away from the desk and land onto your bed, where a few more plushies of him resided.

your face is definitely burning up by now.

“wasn't aware you were a fan,” you could hear the grin as he spoke, and you're one hundred percent sure he's never going to live this down, “well, i guess it's expected. i am amazing after all.”

“...yeah.” you agree, albeit cautious, trying to sound uneager to avoid inflating his ego anymore than you already have.

he moves to lean over your bed and grabs a plushie of him wearing his school uniform, squeezing it lightly, “but if you want me to be honest—this shit's kinda creepy.”

would he stop you if you just took a swan dive out of your window? should you get him to roast you alive right now? you wish all might would just united-states-smash you at this moment.

your hands shoot up to your face as you crouched down, too humiliated to even look at him even if he wasn't facing you.

“kill me now...”

“i've got plenty of chances to do that in the future, don't worry,” he's oddly calm for someone who's standing in a room practically devoted to him, “this is pretty adorable of you i must admit,”

you freeze. tickle my pickle! no fucking way he just called you adorable!

“you got a crush on me or something?”

ah.

this is it. you hope you've done enough good to end up in heaven atleast.

“well, if you're not gonna kill me, we should probably just study and get it over with—oh, we should also just go down to the commons—

“i told you to answer all my questions, didn't i!?”

“...”

the blonde finally turns, hands free of any plushies, crossing his arms over his chest as you stare up at him through the gaps of your fingers. he raises a challenging brow at your hesitation.

“well?” he urges on, “did you go mute from embarrassment or something?”

you say something underneath your breath and he clicks his tongue in annoyance.

“speak up, you idio—”

“i like you, bakugou katsuki.”

you stand up from your crouched position and situated yourself to your desk, bringing out your textbooks from a drawer as he stared on silently. the silence had grown thicker than the one before.

“let's just get this study session over with so you can go, okay?” you spin around your office chair to look at him with a small smile, as if you didn't just confess, “wanna go down to the commons? my room seems to be uncomfortable for y—

“i was joking about the creep shit, you dumbass.”

you stare at him in surprise when he holds you by the shoulders, gently pushing down to prevent you from getting up from your chair.

“bakugou...?”

“...i'll teach you here. no need to get up.”

“but—”

“shut up. get ponytail to make me a plushie of you so we're even, alright?”

confused, you're about to speak up again and he resolves it by squeezing your cheeks, resulting in only incoherent babbles from your mouth.

“bafhkugou—!”

“ugh, i like you too, if your dumbass hasn't gotten it yet.”

“ohfmayghodf—”

“shut it. no more words from you.” he waits a moment for you to calm down, and lets go of your burning cheeks. a smile grows on his face when you weakly glare up at him, but it quickly turns wicked in the span of a second.

“now...you were so eager to start studying earlier, weren't you?”

he unfortunately wasn't joking about beating the damn subject onto your brain. you could feel a mild headache from all the times he hit your head with a roll of paper.

but nonetheless, you know the hard work and pain paid off when you finally got a question right during ectoplasm's class.

bless bakugou, you'd kiss him right now if you could—

“so,” the boy in question starts as you discreetly hand him a plushie of you in your hero costume, he seems to brighten up at that, taking it nearly immediately, but attempts to appear unbothered as he moves his gaze back to yours.

“are we gonna talk about that body pillow last night or—”

“katsuki—no.”

“pfft,” he snorts, “suit yourself, fangirl.”

imagine your surprise when yaoyorozu snitches and tells you that bakugou practically threated her to make more plushies of you after he received the initial one

[biting-miguel-ohara]

Overstimulation with Loki

A/N: Errr. I may switch up the way I’m doing Kinktober bc I’m having ✨motivation issues✨ But fourth fic of Kinktober, yay! Let me know if I missed any warnings

Written with a male!Reader in mind

Link to masterlist here

CW: overstimulation, condescension, degradation, Reader is likened to an animal in heat, Loki restrains the Reader’s hands, Reader is called pet and darling and slut, multiple orgasms, licking up cum, ass play, rimming, Reader is mentioned to be a bit of a masochist, mentioned multiple rounds, aftercare, does this count as dubcon?

437 words

All you can do is whimper.

Your brain is fuzzy. Your thoughts slow and sluggish. All you can do is mindlessly move, squirming to get away and arching up for more.

It hurts. So deliciously.

You want to moan, scream, wail, sob for mercy. But all you can do is whimper.

“Look at you,” Loki’s voice is a low purr. A sadistic croon. “Fucking my hand so mindlessly. Like a base animal needing to mate.”

You whine, tugging weakly at the hand gripping your wrists. They’re pinned above your head, keeping you in place.

“Oh, no, my beloved pet,” he chuckles, swiping his thumb over your tip in a way that has your eyes rolling back. “You don’t get to escape so easily.”

You cum for what feels like the thousandth time. Weak spurts of cum spilling over Loki’s knuckles and fist. He lets go for just a moment to lick his hand clean and you gasp with relief.

Your body thrums with aftershocks, painful little jolts of pleasure that feel like electricity.

His hand smooths over your stomach and you whimper again, squirming away from his touch. “No, it’s too much!”

His voice is a low coo, even as he moves to turn you over. “Then I won’t touch your pretty dick anymore. There are other ways to make you cum, darling. I know you have a few more in you. I want them all.”

You shudder as his fingers slide over your asshole, gently pressing. It feels so good, and yet it makes your stomach clench and your dick throb.

“Please…!” You whimper out.

But Loki just chuckles. “Oh, darling. I know you have it in you. You’re just a dirty little slut under that big man facade. You turn drunk at the slightest press of my cock.”

You moan, pressing your face into the sheets. He’s not wrong, and it only makes it worse. The heavy throbbing of your dick gets twice as bad when he dips down to lick at your asshole. Lapping his tongue against you and purring at the taste.

“You’re delicious, darling. I’m going to enjoy this thoroughly.”

All you can do is whimper. Whimper and squirm against his hold. It’s no use. He’ll get what he wants in the end, and you’re not resolved enough to not want it. It feels so painfully good. And you’ve always been a bit of a masochist.

You give him two more rounds before you pass out. When you wake, you’re all cleaned up, wrapped in his arms. And with the pleasurable way your body aches, you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

[cherryzlem]

My talk on the TikTok-ification of ‘I have no mouth and i must scream’

I personally have discovered ihnmaims recently and through TikTok but honestly, from what i've seen so far, the Tumblr community is way more welcoming than the TikTok community. I believe the ones i call ‘hardcore fans’ or 'gatekeepers' will try all they can to belittle the people who discovered the book/game through TikTok, like any hardcore fan does for their community when it gets famous on TikTok.

TikTok is very helpful to share media on and i have discovered many fandoms through it. But some people are so against ‘TikTok-ification’ that they can’t stand when people find medias through this platform.

When i see some people (again, mostly solely on TikTok) tell AM fans ‘ermm but you know he SA’d Helen ☝️🤓’ i cant help but think ‘yes ?? And he also committed genocide on humanity, keeps torturing the same 5 people over and over again and im very, VERY sure he did use a lot of not really nice kinds of tortures on them, but you draw the line at SA ??’

Like, AM is a horrible being of course, all of these are horrible actions but if someone, like me, likes AM its not gonna be because they think they’re a good ‘person’ (for lack of a better word), WE KNOW AM is bad, of course we do, HE’S THE BAD GUY OF THE STORY and he’s the kind of bad guy who cannot be redeemed but COME ON, WE KNOW THAT.

I love AM for his writing, for how well thought he is as a character, i do not love him for his actions. And i know some 'new gen fans' will pretend AM is not 'that bad' but you shouldn't just assume every fan who comes from TikTok is going to think like that.

Another thing i’ve seen people hate on are AM’s humanisations/personnifications fanarts when posted on TikTok. I know for a fact that these existed for a long long time on other platforms such as Tumblr but the arguments the haters pull out is that ‘errr AM hates humanity, i doubt he’d want to be human ☝️🤓’ but do you even know WHY he hates humanity ?? Have you read the book ???

The reason AM hates humanity is because he wasn’t able to express the creativity he was given by humans, he didn’t just wake up one day and decided to hate humans ?? If anything, giving AM a more humanized/personified image would be something he would want more than anything. If AM had been able to BE like a human none of the shit he did would have happened.

The only ‘argument’ im willing to listen to is when some people say that the whole point of AM’s character is that he isn’t human. But then again, are you against fun ?? In literally EVERY fandom with non-human characters artists will give them humanized designs, even if just for AU’s (take ‘The stanley parable’ for exemple), it’s not because the story is old and is an horror story that people cannot have fun with it. It’s not because it’s a deep story with meaning that people can’t do what they want with it. That is what creativity is for.

And my final point is addressing the people who hate on AM's simps. My gosh, these people have not seen the dawn of the internet if they think its weird to simp for AM.

People simp for Glados, The Narrator from tsp, horror movies murderers and more, and you're telling me that AM is the worst simping choice you could make ?? Let people have fun, let people have weird taste in fictional crushes. In other words:

Stop being allergic to fun, ffs

[kairoot]

❅ — ww. day 10: cs . ✦ ₊˚

day ten: ❝ taking care of san while he’s sick ❞

⟢ pairing : san x reader➖ genre : fluff ➖ requested : no ➖ warnings : none that i know of, errr jokes? 😭

walking back to your bedroom where your boyfriend called for you, you carried the piping hot tea you promised him.

“baby,” san whined once again, his hoarse voice stopping him from being able to yell.

“yes, san?” you answered for the fifth time, sighing.

“baby, it hurts.”

“i know, babe. that’s why you have to drink this.” you placed the tea on the bedside table making his face scrunch in disgust.

“no,” he whined again, dragging out the ‘no’ and slouching in his spot in your shared bed.

you sat next to him, feeling his forehead. his cheeks were still flushed with much color and he was still a bit warm like earlier.

he swatted at your hand, turning his face to stuff it into the pillow.

“san, stop, you still have a fever.” you brought your hand back to its place. taking care of san when he was sick was always a hassle. he could either be extra clingy or really stubborn.

now was clearly one of those times where he felt like being stubborn. it was like caring for a little kid.

he groaned in annoyance and pain, shifting onto his back again.

“baby, i know you hate being sick but let me take care of you.”

he swiftly wrapped his arms around you, pulling you on top of him.

“you could take care of me in other ways.” he puckered his lips, bringing you closer.

“no! absolutely not, san!” you pushed his face away gently, scrambling to get up but his grip stopping you.

he smiled a bit, but quickly replacing it with a faux pout.

“please, babe?”

“you’re not getting me sick, choi.”

he whined at the use of his surname, holding you tighter.

“that’s not my name.”

“yes, it is. no one told you to go outside while it was snowing and stick your tongue in the air. now, drink your tea.”

“hmm, i’ll drink it when you give me a kiss.”

“hmm.. no.”

❅ ❅ ❅

milan’a note: another short short drabble 😪

PERM. TAGLIST: @haechansbbg @contyynishimura @sasfransisco @kgneptun @m1ko-xu (message or comment to be added)

WW. TAGLIST: (message or comment to be added)

© KAIROOT 2023 — please do not steal, translate, or repost my work.

winter wonderland masterlist

[transformee]

The Naughty List

“The f- uh, can I help you?” Rick wasn’t sure how else to respond in the moment as he walked into his living room to find a large man in a red costume hunched over next to the fireplace.

“Oh, wonderful! Yes, perfect timing as a matter of fact. I was hoping I could wrap up this last stop quickly.” The man put his gloved hand on the mantle and hoisted himself upright, leaving little doubt as to his identify as he turned to face Rick. The beard, the belly, the suit – it was all there.

“Ok then, errr… Santa. I’ll play along. Did Jace put you up to this? How did you even get in here?”

“Why, through the chimney of course, just like always! Things just took a bit longer this year, but here I am!”

“Yeah, I mean, aren’t you a bit late? It’s almost New Years…”

The normally jolly look on Santa’s face soured a bit, although Rick didn’t notice. “Well, there are a couple billion more people than there used to be,” said Santa, dripping with rare sarcasm. “And no one is happy with the simple things anymore, so everything has to be bigger and bigger and better than ever before for social media and-“ Santa snapped out of his little rant, coming back to his senses. "But enough about that. Those gifts are reserved for those on the Nice list. These Naughty stops are usually much faster," he said with a chuckle.

"Ah, so I'm on the Naughty list, eh," Rick said with a smirk, now convinced that this was just a prank or little bit of roleplay that his boyfriend Jace had arranged. "What does that run these days? A few extra lumps of coal from inflation?"

"Sometimes yes, actually. It varies quite widely though, you see. And I do tend to save something... special for my last stop. it makes the rest of my year until next Christmas season much more enjoyable! And you, my little Dickie, have been on the Naughty list for so long, you finally earned that last spot..."

"Dickie? No one has called me that since I was like-"

"8, in fact."

Rick's previously amused expression slowly darkened. "And how the hell would you know THAT? I've never told anyone that, not even Jace."

"Oh, you know how all the songs go... I've been watching you for a long time, Dickie. Or would you prefer another moniker? Big Dick Rick, perhaps?"

"Ok, well, I don't have time for this anymore. Suit yourself." Rick turned around with a huff, intending to leave and accost Jace over the weird interaction in their home.

"Very well - I'll do just that!" A red cloud enveloped Rick from behind as Santa blew a handful of red dust that he had fished out from a punch on his large traditional belt. Rick coughed and waived his arms around before the cloud seemed to thicken and swirl around him until...

"THE FUCK-!?"

Just a quickly as it had swallowed him, the red cloud dissipated and left Rick wide-eyed and speechless. His clothes had all evaporated with Santa's smoke, and he was hovering a few inches above the ground. Santa just smirked as Rick spun his arms and legs around, trying to orient himself and regain some control.

"Ah, that's better! As you said, Rick, I don't have time for this early, so let's get this show on the road. I was going to give you and Jace the same special treatment that I usually save for my last stop, but I just thought of something different for you. Now... come to Santa!"

Rick's ass started to pull backwards towards Santa, with the rest of Rick floating along with it. Meanwhile Santa quickly unbuckled his belt and let his trademark pants fall to the floor, releasing his jolly belly and reveling a modest-but-erect cock aimed right at Rick's ass.

"Wait! Wha- what are you doing?!? N- EE!" Rick's protests ended with a high pitched squeak as Santa's cock slid right into his hole, leaving him mounted mid-air on Santa's crotch. A small moan escaped both their lips before Rick snapped back to his senses, albeit momentarily.

"N- no! This isn't- JACE! Jace! Ja..." Rick's words slurred and his eyes rolled back slightly as a bit more red dust sprinkled down from Santa's glove above his head.

"There, there... Just relax. That'll make this next part faster and more enjoyable for both of us," cooed Santa in Rick's ear. And with that, Santa leaned forward slightly and started to rub his gloved hands down Rick's muscular thighs, rounding his knees before pulling up slightly on his shins and feet. Again and again, Santa gently tucked Rick's lower body up towards his own as the changes slowly became more and more noticeable. With each pass, Rick's legs diminished in size, rounding off and lifting up towards their new home. Santa's balls hung low as Rick's feet finally made contact, merging and sinking inside. Within a matter a moments, Rick's legs had been fully engulfed by Santa's nuts, which now sat slightly larger in Santa's hand. He rolled them around with his gloved fingers, eliciting another louder moan from them both. And then, at least the most perfect or most awkward time...

"Rick, babe, was that you? Did you need help with something?" Jace descended the stairs down in the hall in front of the living room, giving him a direct view of the show. "Babe, what did yo-" Jace's eyes grew wide like saucers at the sight of his legless cross-eyed boyfriend magically suspended out from Santa's crotch. He would have been speechless even if a bolt of Santa's dust hadn't smacked his as soon as he turned the corner, leaving him frozen in place. A few muffled screams faded quickly as the calming effects of Santa's magic took hold.

"Oops! Well that was some interesting timing... Sorry about that, Jace, but you'll just have to wait there for your turn. Don't worry - it won't be long!"

And with that, Santa refocused on the task at hand, quite literally. "Well first, we need to do something about these big broad shoulders of yours!" Santa reached out his large hands and started to caress and press them on Rick's traps, pulling down and back and around from the base of his neck. Just like with his legs, each pass of Santa's hands brought accelerating changes as Rick's muscular shoulders and arms began to smooth down and slowly merge into his torso. Rick's biceps flexed a couple final times on reflex, but that didn't last long as they disappeared into the rest of him. Rick's new shape was becoming more and more clear unbeknownst to him. He simply remained a moaning mess mounted on Santa's cock.

"Mmmmmm, now for the best parts," Santa moaned as he reached back down towards his balls before stroking upwards. He hadn't forgotten that Rick's rock hard cock was still protruding, but not for long. Rick let out his loudest moan yet, and his eyes rolled back again as Santa pressed his cock against his abs, again and again, pressing it deeper and deeper until only Rick's smoothed abs remained. Rick groaned one last time before a different sound finally emerged - more of a gurgle. Santa purred at the new noise. "Mmmmmmm, yes, that's what I've been waiting for. That's what I love to hear..." Shifting his focus one final time, Santa stretched out with both hands as far as he could, just barely able to reach Rick's handsome face. Santa gently caressed Rick's cheeks as he pulled backwards, stroking what remained of Rick's body with both hands all the way down both sides from head to hips, stopping only to give Rick's pecs and nipples a squeeze on the way. The little bit of Rick's consciousness that struggled to hang on quickly lost its will as it felt like Santa's cock was growing inside of him with every stroke. The reality of course was slightly different as it was actually Rick's body dwindling in size. His mind was too mushy to notice however as Santa gave his pecs and nipples one last tease before they disappeared, causing that gurgling sound to bubble up from within Rick again and a dab of drool, or at least something that looked like drool, to dribble out the corner of his mouth and down his chin. Rick's hips had already disappeared into Santa's at this point, leaving what was left of him firmly attached. Santa's floating magic was barely even needed at this point as Santa had shrunk what was left of Rick down down past 3 feet to less than 2. His hands now easily reached all the way around Rick's body, so it was time to finally focus on Rick's head. Santa's gloves gently slid around his face, smoothing his forehead and chin back and down. It only took a few strokes before all that was left was Rick's tiny face on the tip of Santa's significantly larger rock-hard cock. Any illusion of Rick's torso was long gone, with cock veins clearly straining along what had been his body. Cum clearly leaked from his lips as he bobbed up and down a bit, and Rick's glazed eyes could only stare straight up at Santa's jolly face smiled down at him from above. And with that, the last thing that Rick saw was Santa's gloves bearing down on his one last time for one last tug, as his final features smoothed away, leaving just an engorged pink drooling head on the end of the dick that Rick had always been.

Santa groaned as Rick's transformation completed, with every last bit of nerve and fiber finally merged with his own.

"Nnggghhhhhhh, Big Dick Rick indeed..." Santa moaned as his new python of a cock started to soften slightly, all the while continuing to drool. "And for your first performance..." Santa's eyes gleamed as he turned and his mouth drew into a wide smirk... 'I'm going to need a volunteer!"

Horrified didn't even begin to cover it as Jace remained wide-eyed and frozen, staring at his former boyfriend leaking onto the floor from between Santa's jiggling thighs.

"For you, Jace, I've saved the usual 'gift' I give at the end of the season. This one is more for me really, but every now and then a recipient even enjoys it too! Now, don't be shy..." Santa playfully motioned for Jace with his index finger, calling him over.

"Mmmmm... mmmmmm!" Jace tried to cry out but could only manage a muffled protest as he felt himself lift off the ground slightly and twist and angle directly towards Santa. Then, suddenly and far faster than Rick had hovered, Jace was flung across the room in an instant, like a magnet flying to it partner. Jace's destination was far from a magnet however, as Big Dick Rick barreled his way between Jace's lips with a satisfying *schlorp*. Jace gagged from having such a massive member suddenly down his throat, but he quickly relaxed as a light sprinkle of that familiar red dusted his face. His eyes crossed and rolled back as he started to go to town on his former boyfriend, using every trick and tongue that he had ever learned. Santa practically roared in pleasure.

"Good lord, boy! I didn't even suggest... any...JESUS, you're good at this!" Santa could barely form a thought while getting what must've been the best blowjob of his life. He only wished it could've lasted longer, but Rick was so... so... sensitive...!

Three souls groaned as Santa's body started to buck and his 'gift' started to pour into Jace. A torrent of cum and mass and magic erupted from Rick's old lips straight down Jace's throat - far more than should have been physically possible. But this was no normal load, as Jace's body started to quiver. Not that Jace could discern anything further, but Santa's ample body was undergoing a change of its own. His belly shook like a bowl full of jelly as it receded inwards, all while Jace's breathing grew more labored. His tight-fitting clothes groaned, stretching at the seams as Jace expanded in all directions. Every part of him inflated like a balloon as Santa's did the opposite, with the disappearing mass revealing a sculpted physical behind. After the magical climax, Santa slowed stepped back, sliding his cock out of his cock's boyfriend's now-chubby face. Jace slumped to the floor on his knees, leaving his rotund rear end sticking up in the air.

"Aahhhhhh, that always feels soooooo much better, like the best version of getting your hair cut." A barely recognizable figure chuckled over the comatose boyfriend on the floor. Santa's traditional clothes started to shimmer and warp as they slowly reformed on his body. His coat pulled in quickly and tightly, foregoing new sleeves while his baggy pants snaked out from the ground, wrapping themselves around Nick’s tight thighs with a trim fit before covering the softening cock inside, sealing it in its new home.

"This is what can happen to those on the Naughty list, gentlemen. Now, we can revisit your Naughty status near year, depending on your behavior of course. But with that, I think we can call this season a wrap! Time to hit up somewhere warm like Miami and have some fun for a bit!” And with that and a little strut, Nick made his way out of the house, giving Jace’s ample airborne ass a little slap along the way. He stretched his muscles, now on full display, and summoned his list with a puff of red smoke to cross his last names off for the year. However…

“Well what’s this? Did I miss one somehow? I guess we have one more quick stop this year, Rick!” said Nick as he pawed at his crotch with a smirk. “Now let’s see. Bryce… Bryce… are we Naughty or Nice! Ah ha! N-“

———————————————————————

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year to all, especially @bizzhideaway ! 😁

[planetpedri]

For you — Arda Güler.

Pairing: Arda Güler x Fem!Reader

Summary: Despite Arda being a reserved person, it doesn’t take any convincing from you, to do anything.

Word count: 304

Disclaimer/s: errr none!

A/N: im banging my head against the wall.

You and your boyfriend, Arda, had decided to go out for the day and shop. There was a local flea market in town that you’d been wanting to go to call week, and he finally found the time to bring you.

Walking around in the blistering heat, you find a small outlet with shirts and miscellaneous items. “Oh! Oh! This one!” Your grip tightens around Arda’s hands as you tug him toward it.

Picking up the pair of sunglasses from one of the many tables, you examine them closely. An amused look forms on your face as you turn and face your boyfriend. “Hey, Arda?”

You find him looking at a pair of T-shirts, his head tilting to the side to see you, “yeah?”

“Try these on.” You push the glasses up to his face with a grin. “Pleaseee?”

Arda rolls his eyes half way, taking them from your hands and planting them on his face. He holds them there, his face flat as you pull out your phone. “Absolutely not.”

You giggle, snapping multiple pictures while ordering him to make faces. He obliges, as he always did whenever you asked him to do something, but only because he loved to see the way your face lit up and you wore a smile that reached your eyes.

“Are you done yet?” He asks, waiting for your nod to take them off and setting them back on the rack. “I hope you’re real happy.” He huffs, wrapping an arm around your shoulder to look at the pictures you started to go through.

“Very happy! You’re the best boyfriend.” You cheese, standing up straight to place a kiss on his lips.

Arda melts into the short kiss, letting out a satisfied hum. Looking like an idiot was always worth it when that was his reward.

DTS , @halfwayhearted !

[danikamariewrites]

Okay okay okay, so errr I have like maybe a couple things but I'm not throwing everything with the expectation that you write all of them!!!

First maybe Azriel taking fem reader to a starfall ball. Bonus points if A already knows B is their mate, and they're waiting for A to find out

Okay okay now for Xaddy Xaden. WHAT ABOUT Xaden Riorson smut maybe? Idk I don't have a plot I just kinda want him

THANK YOU SO MUCH

Diamonds and Pearls

Azriel x f!Reader

A/n: I think this is my favorite fic I’ve written so far. I almost started crying writing this tbh. I went with Az bc I’m in a fluffy mood this evening but Xaden smut is coming I swear😉

Warnings: disgustingly fluffy

Azriel was surprised by how bold he had been in asking you to go to the annual Starfall ball with him. He didn’t want to dance around his feelings for you anymore, he had to tell you the truth. And tonight was the perfect night. Azriel never considered himself a romantic male, but that was changing tonight.

The reason for Azriel’s boldness was thanks to the mating bond. The bond had snapped for him exactly three weeks ago at breakfast. It was nothing special, just you, him, Cassian, and Nesta sitting at the table when it hit him. Feeling that golden thread come to life in his chest, being able to feel your calm heartbeat was the best thing that has ever happened to him.

For the first time in his life Azriel felt pure joy. He felt like everything was perfectly aligned. He was already head over heels in love with you and the mating bond just solidified that you were the one for him. You had known each other for centuries, and have been seeing each other romantically for a few months now. He was ready to take your relationship to the next step.

But would you want this with him? To be tied to him forever? He didn’t stop to think about that during his weeks of planning the perfect night to tell you. No, he couldn’t let his mind wander, he was too happy. He realized in his worrying his shadows were swirling around him and the hallway. Azriel called the rogue shadows back to him, he didn’t want to scare you when you came out of your room.

Just as your door opens the last shadow flys back to him. Of course the one shadow that was fond of you was last to come back to Azriel.

As soon as Azriel laid eyes on you he was speechless. You looked like the brightest star that would grace the sky this evening. Your dress was a beautiful light blue, made up of diamonds and pearls strung along the bodice. Your leg peeking out of the slit in your flowing silk skirt that had a layer of shimmering fabric that reflected in the light. Your silver heels clacking on the tiled floors as you made your way towards the shadowsinger.

“Wow.” He breathed out. You spun causing the dress to flare out, it practically glowed, just like you Azriel thought. “You don’t look too bad yourself.” Azriel suddenly felt guilty for wearing just a simple all black outfit on such a special night. A blush dusted his cheeks, “Thank you.” He holds out the box he’s been clutching for 2 hours, afraid he’d lose the gift he bought you. “I got you something for tonight.”

“Oh, Az, you didn’t have to get me anything.” You took the box from his hands, slipping one into his hands, smirking. “Very slick.” You giggle.

“You open yours first, and I promise I did not go to Mor for gift advice.” Azriel laughed, opening the box. His eyes went wide, he couldn’t believe you had given him something so beautiful. In the box was a silver signet ring with his wings and Mount Ramiel with the stars above it. “Y/n…this is incredible. Thank you.” He smiles down at you, his heart soaring at your kindness. “Your turn,” he slips the ring on his index finger, flexing his scarred fingers at the new feeling.

You open the skinny box to a gleaming diamond and sapphire bracelet. “Azriel! This is absolutely gorgeous. Thank you.” He takes the delicate chain out of the box, “Allow me.” You smile at him as he clasps the bracelet on your wrist. He brings your hand up to his mouth leaving a soft kiss on your knuckles.

He drops your hand, offering you his arm, “Shall we?” You interlock your arm with his and he whisks you away to the party. To the future he has planned for you, hopefully.

…

The stars are about to fall and Azriel had stolen you away from the Inner Circle to watch them on a private balcony. You were very excited to watch the stars with just Azriel. You planned to tell him that you loved him tonight, something you haven’t said to each other yet.

Lost in your thoughts about the beautiful shadowsinger, staring up at the stars he sneaks up behind you, tapping you on the shoulder. Startled, you turn towards his smiling face as he holds out a glass of wine for you, “What are sneaking up on me for!” Chuckling at your reaction he pulls you into his side, wrapping a wing around you, “Sorry darling, force of habit.”

You sip from the glass as the stars start to fall, watching in awe. The stars only hold Azriel’s attention briefly, more interested in watching you glow under their flashing light. Mother above you are beautiful, and he’s thanking her, like he has everyday since the bond snapped, that you’re in his life.

After a few more minutes of watching the stars you feel Azriel’s eyes on you. You turn, shifting a little away from him and smile. “I’m very happy I get to spend Starfall with you Az.”

“I am too y/n.” He swallows, now’s the time to tell you. He’s not backing out now. “I have something to tell you.” You say in unison. Laughing at your synchronization, you take Azriel’s hands in yours, swiping your thumb over the new signet ring reflecting all the blues and purples from the stars. “You go first.”

Azriel can feel his hands clamming up, it’s now or never. He’s just going to come right out and say it, even if it comes out sounding foolish. “A few weeks ago, at breakfast the mating bond snapped for me, for you. I could feel your heartbeat and happiness as you laughed at Nesta’s joke. And I swear in that moment I fell in love with you all over again. I’ve been waiting for the perfect time to tell you. I understand if you don’t want this because honestly I don’t deserve you y/n or the love you give me. But I can’t imagine my life without you.”

Tears were falling from your eyes. You couldn’t believe what Azriel was saying. You wanted this so badly from the day you first met. All you wanted was his love, but this was even better. You had dreamed about finding your mate ever since your mother told you about the concept when you were a little girl. Now yours is standing right in front of you confessing his love for you!

“Yes Azriel,” nodding vigorously, sending more tears flying down your cheeks. “I love you and you’re all I’ve ever wanted. I’m so lucky to have you as my mate, I couldn’t ask for anyone better.” Tears were now falling down his face. He wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you flush against him, kissing you heatedly.

In that moment the bond came to life in your chest. Glowing bright, connecting the two of you forever.

tags: @msiecrane @auggiesolovey

[cloudshuffle]

bon appetit. yan!acheron and black swan

Somewhere down the line, Acheron and Black Swan had made an alliance.

It was a strange thing, really, and something no one had ever expected. Even stranger, maybe, was what they formed an alliance over. Or who. Not that you knew about this.

You find yourself seated across from Acheron and Black Swan at a round table, shaded by a funny little umbrella as if the weather ever soured in the Golden Hour. Acheron has her chin in her head. Black Swan selects a menu with an elegant finger.

Both of them are staring into your soul.

At least it sure feels that way. You shift self-consciously in your seat. Acheron might be trying to absorb your cells through the power of her vision. Black Swan... maybe trying to x-ray your wallet and see how much you were carrying. You couldn't really tell - reason enough to avoid that weirdo called Aventurine.

"So, darling, what do you want to have?" Black Swan asks sweetly, resting a hand lightly onto yours. You wriggle out from under it, going to take the menu from her as an excuse.

"Errr." You run a finger quickly down the list. In truth, feeling both women's gazes on you, you can barely breathe let alone make a decision. But at least you've been here often enough to know what you like. "Maybe just a Floatdisc Burger."

"Oh." Black Swan sounds disappointed, somehow. Acheron shifts her gaze away for the first time since you'd sat down.

"I'll go order," Acheron volunteers, to your surprise. She gets up, elegantly concise, and walks off.

You can feel the weight of Black Swan's gaze on you again, and finally you can't stand it anymore. "What are we doing here?"

She seems surprised at the question. "Doing? Why, can't friends hang out and enjoy the view?"

She gestures out at glittering, glowing Penacony. Revellers mill like tiny ants in the streets, their laughter and chatter drifting up to you both.

You swallow down a bitterness in your chest, though you can't pinpoint why.

You'd met Acheron first, wandering the halls of the Reverie, looking clearly lost. She'd frozen upon seeing you, trying - and failing - to pretend that she didn't need any help, but you'd ended up taking her to the lobby anyway. A mysterious figure, certainly, but she'd struck you as kind in some way, and you'd both parted ways amiably.

Then you'd bumped into Black Swan on the street soon after meeting Acheron.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," she'd said in that musical voice of hers, reaching out a gentle hand to steady you. With the veil over her head, she looks more like an ethereal angel than an enjoyer of the Golden Hour. But the two of you part ways too with no further incident.

Acheron seeks you out again a few days later - on purpose this time, waiting in the lounge near your suite. This time she isn't lost but she pretends she is, and it's so amusing that you go along with it and take her around Golden Hour to see the sights.

Then you both chance upon Black Swan during your outing, and from then on, you could say, was history.

Acheron returns from the counter. "The food might take a while. It's pretty crowded in there."

She looks from your face, to Black Swan's, your head turned aside and your lips pressed into a thin line. Black Swan blinks innocently at her.

"What? What were you guys talking about?"

[greeneyedsigma]

Garp: As usual, Garp has to save the day!

Sengoku: As usual, Sengoku has to hear about it.

**

Rosinante: Why are you wearing glasses?

Garp: Errr…reading…?

Rosinante: Reading?

Rosinante: I didn’t know you could read.

**

Sengoku: We call that a traumatic experience.

Sengoku, turning to Dragon: Not a "bruh moment".

Sengoku, turning to Rosinante: Not "sadge".

Sengoku, turning to Garp: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

**

Dragon: I’ve never asked someone out. How do you even do it?

Garp: Oh, what I do is, I look them up and down and I say: “Hey… how you doin’?”

Sengoku, scoffing: Oh, please.

Garp, to Sengoku: Hey, how you doin’?

Sengoku:

Sengoku: *giggles and blushes*

**

Garp: People always shoot down my ideas and I’m sick of it. Two sentences in and everyone’s always shouting “what the fuck? that’s illegal!” and “You can’t do that!”. Like, c'mon, let me talk!

**

Crocodile: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Dragon: It was autocorrect.

Crocodile: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?

Dragon: Yes.

**

Sengoku: The saying “it is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission” no longer applies to Dragon.

**

Dragon: Helpful grammar tip: “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for metaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance!

[jrow]

May Prompts (25)

Day 24 here. Start from the beginning here. Day 26 here.

Intuition

He may not be Sherlock Holmes, but he trusts his intuition.

In fact, right now his intuition is probably a hell of a lot more reliable than Sherlock’s. He’s seen what Sherlock will do when blinded by anger.

It’s time for Captain Watson to take control.

“Don’t look out the window,” he hisses through a smile. “Keep looking at me or Rosie. Look happy.”

“But John—“ Sherlock argues, gesticulating wildly.

“Sherlock. Trust me.” He knows his tone leaves no room for argument. Even from the great Sherlock Holmes.

Sherlock freezes and then starts fidgeting slightly awkwardly. He seems almost … flustered. But then he gives a tiny nod and plasters on a fake smile while keeping his eyes firmly on Rosie.

“Good. Now, you are going to get up and go order two coffees. And I am going to call Mrs. Hudson and ask her to pick up Rosie from here.” He looks at his daughter who is happily scribbling with the crayons and blank paper they brought. He thinks maybe he can see some hearts among her chaos of lines. “We aren’t doing anything until we get Rosie out of here.”

That seems to get through to Sherlock. “Right. Of course. Coffees.”

They proceed with their tasks and soon are back at the table, pretending to have a normal conversation while they wait for their landlady. It’s excruciating.

“Who is he?” Sherlock asks, leaning back in his chair, the picture of relaxation.

“I don’t remember his name but he was on the scene at the … Smith abduction case maybe? Something around that time.” He takes a drink of coffee. “And the bastard has been one of the constables assigned to my room too. Changed his hair and shaved off his moustache but definitely the same guy.”

“Of course, I should have known. No man in their right mind would dye their hair that colour. He’s hoping you won’t make the connection,” Sherlock says, picking up one of the crayons and drawing a happy face beside Rosie’s scribbles. She giggles and snatches the crayon from his hand, having decided she needs the yellow at this very instant. “He seems to think he has a lot to lose. I have no doubt he’s planning an escape—somewhere in Europe most likely.”

To anyone else, he’s sure Sherlock sounds calm, but he hears the quiet fury lacing every word.

He doesn’t know what to say, so they sit in silence for a moment. He drinks his coffee and Sherlock and Rosie play a game of keep away with the crayons.

“I wonder how Larkin got mixed up in all this. Hate to say it, but I feel a bit sorry for the guy,” he finally says, mostly to pass the time.

“That’s easy,” Sherlock says, keeping his focus on Rosie. “Constable Needs-to-Die happened upon Mr. Larkin in the midst of some crime. Something serious that would come with significant jail time. The constable looked the other way in exchange for a major favour, which he called in when he decided he needed to get you out of the picture.” A pause. “Feel no sympathy. Robert Larkin got exactly what he deserved.”

That rather somber sentiment is quickly dissipated by Rosie’s squeals of delight and calls of “Nana” that announce Mrs. Hudson’s arrival. She’s trying to jump down from the booster even before Mrs. Hudson made her way through the door.

“What did you tell her?” Sherlock asks quietly, leaning close.

“Just that I … errr… just that I was hoping to have a little extra time alone with you,” he says, feeling the heat in his cheeks rise. It’s not that far from the truth, really, but feels like a confession of sorts.

Mrs. Hudson swoops in and hugs Rosie before Sherlock can respond. “There’s my little princess, let’s get you in your pushchair. We are going to have so much fun!” For a woman pushing 80, Mrs. Hudson is impressively spry. She quickly gets everything together (eschewing all help), including getting Rosie all buckled in without a fuss.

“Thank you, Mrs. Hudson,” Sherlock says, his voice neutral but his toe tapping rather aggressively.

“It’s my pleasure, boys. You two have fun,” Mrs. Hudson replies with a wink. “Don’t get into too much trouble.” Her words are light but there’s a look in her eye that makes him think she understands the urgency. In a flash, she and Rosie are gone.

He tries to pick up his coffee but his hands are shaking in anticipation of what’s to come. And relief that, whatever happens, Rosie is safe in Baker Street. Where she belongs.

It’s also relief that he is here with Sherlock, about to do … whatever it is they are about to do. Together. It’s where they belong.

“John,” Sherlock says, forcefully. “Rosie is safe. It’s time to do things my way now.”

Time to follow intuition once again.

“Dear god, yes.”

@keirgreeneyes @raina-at @totallysilvergirl @meetinginsamarra @jolieblack @phoenix27884 @friday411 @calaisreno @lisbeth-kk @safedistancefrombeingsmart @momma2boys @helloliriels @dapetty @quimerasyutopias

[lazorbeanz]

Late Night

Unbreakable Bond

Headcanons and indirect quotes :p #4

🔶 Tails: You ready for tomorrow’s history test?

Sonic: Yea

Tails: What ended in 1896?

Sonic: 1895

Tails: Yea you ready…

🔷 Tails: So, who did ya learn about today?

Sonic: Errr some guy called ‘Martha Luker King Jr.’

Tails: *tryna hold it together* u-uhm okay…and what did he do?

Sonic: *with all confidence* He died for our sins…

Tails: Wait no that’s- *wheeze*

🔶 Sonic singing along the Chorus of Speed Life (he doesn’t know French): 🎶“Something something speed life…SOMEBODY’S WATCHING MEEEEEE”🎶

🔷 Sonic and Tails have this challenge they do at karaoke nights where they attempt to sing a song that’s not in English, which really just ends up as a big laughing fest as they fail miserably. Sonic tries to make up for it by dancing to the music (cuz mind you, it’s catchy) but his legs turn into spaghetti from his fit, and faceplants onto the floor. Tails attempts to help him up but his knees do a funny and falls on top of him, leaving the brothers immobile and gasping for air.

🔶 Sonic: is the pink panther a lion?

Tails: say that again but slower

Sonic: I don’t get??

Tails: he’s the pink PANTHER

Sonic: okay?? But is he a lion?

Tails: 🤦..*grabs the landline phone* hello is this the brain replacement store-

🔷 The brothers have a war going on in their Snapchat stories, where they would steal awkward pics of each other…whether that’s Sonic eating a really messy chilidog or tails after an experiment gone horribly wrong, with the caption being like ‘look at this loser lol’ or something meme related…yes they turn each other into memes

🔶 Sonic would randomly decide to attach tails to a lead every now and then to see his reaction, which at first was pretty vicious, but now he’s just like “rlly bro? -_-” but either one would send Sonic in hysterics

🔷 Tails: hey Sonic, what word starts with “f” and ends with “u c k?”

Sonic: Fu- WAIT TAILS NO-

Tails: it’s firetruck! 😊 uhh sonic?

*cue sonic getting carted away in an ambulance…i think he stopped breathing*

🔶 Since Sonic doesn’t give a toss, tails would somewhat keep an eye out on his brother’s quill care (you could say Amy has talked to Tails about the matter) so after heaps of reasoning and the last resort - the cute fox eyes, Sonic reluctantly gives in to letting his younger brother brush his quills for the first time. It’d go down something like this…

Tails: one~

Sonic: ow-

Tails: two~

Sonic: OWWW…how many of these (brush strokes) do we have to do?!

Tails: like a thousand or something…thre-

Sonic: AAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEE!!!!🦅🦅🦅

ANOTHER LIFE IN THE DREAMHOUSE REFERENCE IM SORRY IM SORRY-

🔷 Tails was so sleep deprived that he almost mistook liquid petroleum for coffee one morning (somehow)

🔶 Tails loves planes…in all forms…and THAT INCLUDES the one used to be fed…

Sonic: Tails, you are 8 years old, with an IQ of about 300…and you still want me to do…this?

Tails: b-but…aeroplaneee 🥺

Happy wholesome Wednesday!

Whilst you’re here, we have an Unbreakable Bond Discord server out for all you folks who love the brothers just as much as us! 💙💛 It’s a totally chill place where we can chat, share art or fics, and most importantly, hyperfixate over that hog and fox duo we love so much! (There’s even a place for boops!)

Created by @suzienightsky ✨ If you’re keen on joining, flick her a DM and she’ll give you an invite.

Sorry for the ad lmao

[queenofmistresses]

sub velvette head canons so I can sleep at night pls

A/n this ask is too real hope you enjoyy

• velvette has a LOT of responsibilities

• not just with running her own part of the vee’s company, but with making sure vox and val aren’t being idiots

• so her favourite part of the day is getting home and being able to completely relax and let someone else be in control

• and boy does she let you be in control

• i feel as though the from second she walks through the door at the end of the day to the moment she leaves for work, she would want you to fully be in control

• just complete go dumb and not have to think

• would want a ton of praise and a ton of degradation all at once

• would love to think of herself as being owned by you

• would love how protected it would make her feel

• would be very into exploring new things with you

• wouldn’t like everything but would be willing to try anything once as long as conversations are had ofc

• she would love being tied up

• loves being completely helpless for you

• would love edging and overstimulation

• loves the teasing and humiliation that can be held against her for both

• would love being called things like dumb and useless etc

• loves letting every thought drain from her mind and letting you do all of the thinking

• likes being used and you doing what you can to show who’s in charge

• (you obvi)

• has a bit of a pain kink

• nothing extreme, spanking, light choking

• errr yeah that’s all off the top of my head

• sleep well 😉