#ermmmm oh yeah

[fart-stuff-by-goose]

Here's my unfinished drafts for yuri week day threee :3

anyway hii this is cecelia [lia] sycamore im still Microwaving her in my head so her whole deal isn't really set in stone

[st4rsinthenight]

★errrhhh water colourfied version of erm.. the pb&j duo★

⭐| ↓ INDIVIDUAL CLOSE UPS !! ↓

[puppyeared]

Son boy

[underwater0firework]

Thoughts after watching The Great Red Dragon: Why does Hannibal get to live in a mini fancy house? When Will was stuck in a dirty-ass cell? And who let that guy keep cooking? Who the fuck looked at the cannibal and thought, 'ah yes, let's just let him keep pursuing that hobby, huh.' Maybe he gets a pass, y'know, cause his name rhymes. Idk.

Also...

The tooth fairy feels like some villain of the week i don't like him. Get his ass Will. And where is Margot Verger I NEED to see her. And who the fuck gave Will a wife?

[inkizblog]

ARENT MY STORIES ABOUT SCROLL AND QUILL SO AWESOME??! the santa, red rubber ball, pride and lotion ones were things I made up and zee drew 😈

another awesome art by awesome zee 💥💥💥

“torch I think im homo”

“yay”

THHHAHATS IT IM NEVER RESPOSTING YOUR POSTS EGERBAGAIN!!!!

[pixel-axel]

started reading a tempest of tea last night because query recommended it and lent me his copy, and it’s very good, but it’s distractingly similar to six of crows. arthie is basically kaz (with a little bit of inez), jin is basically jesper; so many of the descriptions remind me of six of crows, as well as the entire plot; its so distracting. it is really good, but then again, six of crows is one of my favorite book series of all time so maybe i’m biased in that regard. query told me a lot of people were saying the same in the reviews, so i guess im not alone.

no hate to the author (she’s doing her best and it is genuinely well written, she’s clearly talented) or the book or anyone who likes the book

[cartoonishreal]

random jay doodles...

[barleyo]

678-999-8212.

Real Dad! Leon Kennedy X F! Reader (smut)

A/N: part two for my last fic!! ermmmm once again ily if you know the title's reference :3 this is a short addition too but idk i don't think part one required a super long part two! please read the tags, leon is mean in this one :c

Part One: here

Tags: incest (daddy-daughter), age gap (21-50s), degradation, choking, hate-sex, orgasm denial, unprotected sex, non-con, striking/smacking of the face, alcohol mention

Wordcount: 1k

Leon had never driven this fast before. To hell with every red light in his way, he needed to get home. Foot sat firmly on the gas pedal, inching further and faster the more he thought about the series of events that led him here. 

His daughter was an absolute slut. How many men had you 'entertained' like that before? How many filthy calls had you made to men who were possibly even older than himself? More than that— how had he fallen into your trap? 

He made a silent promise to himself to put the bottle down, seeing as it left him in that situation. A promise that was an empty one, but it offered him solace in the moment as he pulled into his driveway. 

Leon's feet struggled against the pavement. He was still unbearably drunk and dizzy, now with added anger and unfounded horniness. He felt gross, disgusted by the erection popping in his slacks, but he couldn't help it. He was fathering a damn siren, and god did you know what you were doing. Your sickening voice, overly sweet moans, and your slick and noisy cunt that cried for him over the phone. It was all too much.

"You fucking slut!"

Leon had never been a rough dad. He wasn't a yeller, not one for heavy discipline. After his unfortunate discovery about you, though? He was quick to slam the front door shut and run up the stairs, feet clashing against each step with a violent speed. 

Whatever you had been watching on your television was quickly shut off when you heard his tone. You scampered under your blankets and feigned sleep. You had zero clue what he was on about, but you knew it would turn ugly just by the sheer anger in his voice. He couldn't yell at a sleeping beauty like you, could he? 

Yes, obviously he could and would. Stubborn old man.

"I know you aren't asleep," Leon spat, ripping the covers off of you. You stayed still, breath pausing in your chest. "Don't act innocent, brat."

Fine, so there was no escaping this. Damn it, what was this all about?

You begrudgingly relented and opened your eyes. Arms crossed defensively over your chest, an equal mix of fear and discomfort on your face as you scanned over your dad. 

You took in everything about him. His eyebrows were drawn together. His jaw was clenched tight enough that you thought it could pop at any minute. Fists balled up at his sides. Eyes dark. Dick hard— oh. Oh?

"You wanna tell me what you were doing earlier? Any specific calls y'made?" 

"Say it."

You had never heard your father speak so roughly, and anything close to the tone he used was never directed towards you. You were his sweet girl, daddy's baby forever. Now, though, each slam of his hips into yours made you feel like a cheap whore. 

"It's not true," you said. "I'm not a slut! I'm not, I promise."

You felt his large hand's grip over your neck tighten. Tears were threatening to spill, to run down your red, stinging cheek where the mark of his hand was freshly placed. You held it in. Daddy told you not to cry, that you had no right to. 

"Was just a mistake. I'm sorry!"

"Yeah, real convincing." Leon sneered down at you. It stung more than the unrelenting thrusts, more than the way his palm met your cheek. He never looked at you like that, like you were nothing. You wanted it to stop. "I didn't raise you to be a whore. You think you're fuckin' grown, huh? Showing off for whoever rings you up like some call-center bitch?"

You wanted to kick and cry, but the words stopped in your chest. Shameful wails sprouted from you. It was all true, every word he said.

"I just wanted attention," you were finally able to make out, despite the ever firmness of his hand around your throat. "I'm sorry, I'll never do it again. Promise."

Deep down, Leon felt awful for treating you like this. He tried to reason with himself. You needed to learn. How could you learn from a 'mistake,' as you called it, without a proper punishment? He was doing the right thing. He was sure of it. He couldn't have a whore-daughter, at least not such a shameless one. 

"Yeah? How's it feel now? You're getting all the attention you want now. Not enough for you, greedy bitch?"

Thankfully for you, he released you from the chokehold he had you in. He internally winced at the already forming bruise he left. His hands found your lower stomach and he pushed down. Hard. 

"There you go. Feel every bit of my cock."

God, he was so mean. His head knocked into your cervix roughly, no regard for your pleasure. It hurt, but the friction of his girthy cock dragging against your abused walls helped a little. 

Small flutters of pleasure peaked through the rough treatment, making it semi-worth it. Maybe if you came, if you focused real hard on getting over the edge, then maybe you could forget his awful words.

He wasn't nearly that nice, though. He kept grumbling under his breath, spitting out vile insults about you. Even as his voice cracked, he couldn't help but let his hips stutter forwards into you, whispering the harshest things. 

With a final, especially rough thrust, he came. He didn't bother to pull out, he didn't even try. Rather, he burrowed further into your sore walls and marked you with his seed, claiming you like the territory you were. 

As you tried to pull away, feeling utterly used and unsatisfied, you felt his strong arms yank you back. 

"Where do you think you're going?" 

His face softened a little. Good, at least he wasn't scowling at you any more. 

"We aren't done...?"

"Not even close." He pushed your legs back, resting them over his shoulders. "Whores don't get breaks. We aren't done until I'm good and fucking satisfied."

He leaned down, dipping his head so he could spit. He watched the dribble of saliva coat your hole. 

"If you aren't gonna be my good girl anymore, the least you could do is put out."

[iayos]

𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 (𝐄𝐖𝐖) !

jjk boys and their icks… because no man is perfect…

jjk boys x implied fem!reader

cw : men being gross, slight nsfw in nanami’s part, very mild misogyny if you squint in megumi’s part, this post was literally just so i could rant kinda

a / n : long time no see… not much to say other than i’ve been busy !!! anyways hope you enjoy :)

yuji itadori - bad grammar

giving him the tamest one tbh because he’s such a sweetheart </3 idk why but i feel like he just has such shitty grammar… like he’s smart ! just not when it comes to grammar. for example, he mixes up his to, too, and two’s, his there’s, and don’t get me started on your vs you’re :/ again he’s the sweetest boy ever ! it’s just the fact he probably failed his lit classes…

megumi fushiguro - “females”…

i was so close to giving this to satoru but i didn’t cause he has shoko to hold him down, megumi on the other hand… look, i don’t think he’d say it in front of girls, but to other dudes, yk ? and i definitely don’t think it’s on purpose to try and be an asshole but it just happens. quickly unlearns it when he says it around maki though.

yuta okkotsu - referring to himself in third person

you guys know how elmo is like, “elmo wants to go to the park,” yeah… yuta does this. and no, it’s not ironically. he definitely thinks it’s cute too and sometimes it is ! but it’s to an extent. like it’s cute the first couple times where he is goes, “yuta loves you,” but then it gets weird and corny when he’s like, “yuta wants to get dinner,” like ermmmm ok…

toge inumaki - fish pics.

as someone who lives in those south i see these OFTEN. for those who don’t know, fish pics are basically when dudes hold up fish they caught while fishing and post pictures of them holding it… i think the main problem with this to me is that a lot of very weird and racist men do it, so that’s why i hate it. anyways i’m 90% sure he has an official art where he’s holding a fish ( i also didn’t know what ick to give him ).

satoru gojo - his height is his whole personality

this shit irks me so bad omg. as someone who’s short ( 5’0 ) and hates seeing other short people make their whole personality their height, it’s even worst when it’s a tall person. satoru is definitely the type to be like, “omg guysss i bumped my head otw hereeee i’m so tallll,” like no you’re just stupid ! he definitely has other icks but this was the main one i could think of… ik he gets on everyone’s nerves.

suguru geto - says “my bad” instead of “im sorry”

another personal one tbh. i hate hate hate when people do this especially if it’s something serious. i remember one time someone pushed me in the mud ( i didn’t fully go on, just my foot ) and i got mud all over my white shoes and they have the audacity to go, “my bad,” like yeah it is your bad lmao. anyways, suguru def does this often especially to shoko. i feel like he’s pretty clumsy and say if shoko’s studying and he knocks over a drink onto her books he’ll say “my bad” and not even attempt to help her clean it up. like dude at least say sorry or something idk ???

nanami kento - calls his dick anything but a dick

“my member” you are grown !!! say dick !!! he does it to be ‘classy’ but like, he is pushing 30 doing this, just say dick. i also think it’s a shame thing ? idk probably hanging out with stsg for most of his teen years rotted his brain so he hates hearing really nasty stuff but he won’t even say penis half the time. like it’s really not that serious nobody wants to call your dick a phallus ( it was also really hard to give him an ick ).

choso - using 🥺 / 🥹

oh BROTHERRRR this one pisses me off. i hate both of those emojis in general but especially when men do it, it’s cornball behavior. like aren’t you supposed to be fighting in wars ? stand up. but i don’t think he has any ill intentions at all, honestly just picks emojis that represent his mood often. however he definitely uses 😂 instead of 😭… sorry choso…

song : ick - lay bankz

[heavenlyraindrops]

smut writing tips (TW: sexual stuff cause like. Cmon. It’s smut)

I did one for character so now I’m doing one for smut what’s wrong with smut huh so what if I’m writing tips on how to make smut so what SO WHAT HUH

Smut scenes aren’t that different from normal scenes. Probably because they’re normal scenes. Remember that.

Therefore, they should have dialogueeee because boy oh boy the amount of smut I have read where they are just dead silent is insane I could rebuild the wall of china with allat

so… dirty talk

BUT DONT MAKE IT TOO LONG! OR TOO WEIRD…

“Do you think they’d watch?” he asks. “Do you think they’d enjoy the sight of your naked flesh on display? Maybe they would get off on seeing your dripping pussy reflected back at them everywhere they look. Or the pretty flush on your chest when you come. I think they’d even enjoy watching your eyes roll to the back of your head when my cock fills you so fully, you can’t fit any more of me inside you.”

That’s from haunting Adeline… and… just.. no. NONONONO ITS DISGUSTING ITS GROSS…. WHO TF SAYS THAT BRO. Why is tHIS BOOK SO POPuLAR

more gross examples: “You want to know what I’d do?” he questions. “I would let them watch. I would let them watch me claim you as mine and own every inch of your body. They would watch my cock fill every one of your holes and then watch you cry because of how hard you came. And then I’d fucking kill them. My cock would still be wet from your cum as I’d slice their throats for even daring to look at what’s mine.”

dont write like that guys… like ew. Just ew

also.. epithets.. ok idk what they’re called because English = not my first language but

like

”his member” “sword” “love button” “seed” “her peaks/ nubs”

look my dude if you can read a smut scene like “he inserted his sword inside her cavern and spewed his seed inside her while fondling her mounds” then sure pop off I guess but tbh

no.

JUST USE COCK DICK AND PUSSY OR SOMETHING IDK WHY U GOTTA DO THIS TO ME I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SEE CERTAIN THINGS THE SAME WAY EVER AGAIN

“his member” I’m sorry is his dick joining a club?

anywaysysystst

research human body stuff. Like, dicks need to recharge before they get hard again yk

“Recharge” idk bro yk what I mean

cumming more than once for women do be kinda painful unless there’s an amount of time in between the orgasms

like depends on the woman, can range from a couple of hours to at least a whole day

although this doesn’t apply to everyone and some people do just go for it a bunch of times in one session so it’s a very variable thing

so yeah! Make sure to educate urself on biology

spemd more time talking about how they feel physically and emotionally than what they are doing so that the scene actually does have some depth

consistency! I have read shit that goes along the lines of “he grabbed her waist then with his other hand stroked her cheek and then she wrapped her legs around his feet and he pressed his elbow againts her knee flipping her upside down while she nibbled on his ear” how am I supposed to imagine any of that

they keep sprouting a third arm

or do things that completely contradict the position that they are in.. he can’t slap ur ass if ur in the cowgirl position..well, not very comfortably

so. Consistency! :)

that’s all for now ermmmm so yah tell me if this was helpful guys

edit: this post is super old pls ignore its existence

[swadloom]

The Smiling Friends truly have an incredible autistic team spread. Charlie undiagnosed adult who thinks everyone is like this, tells the most neurodivergent anecdote possible and doesn't realize. Pim diagnosed around childhood or teenage, always gave him trouble making friends so he doesn't talk about it much but at this point when he'd do his big heartfelt reveal everyone's like yeah uh we know man. Alan once had to get an MRI and when the doctors came to him mournfully and told him what they discovered he went. Ermmmm. Okay then. and then left forgetting to take the papers with him. The Boss is that one guy at the job where everyone one knows Something is Going On there but it could honestly be anything and really autism is like the tiniest factor in what he has Going On. Glep comes from a long line of autistic wizards reaching back to old stained glass murals of catholic stimtoys one time the gang raised money for him to get a communication device and he went out and bought a solid gold tech deck with the money and everyone was mad at him until he did a badass trick with it and everyone was like oh oh yeah alright yeah I can see why he got that instead you know

[sheyfu]

sun and moon ☽｡⋆

𝗜𝗡 𝗪𝗛𝗜𝗖𝗛 a waltz takes place beneath the sun and moon.

feat. kamisato ayato (f!reader)

cw. none :)) js enjoy some tooth-rotting fluff (HELP I HOPE I DIDNT FLOP ERMMMM IM SO BAD AT WRITING ITS NOT EVFEN FUNNY ANYMORE 😓😓) (omg does 'kinda proofread' count as a cw ERMMM HASUDHUSADHA)

note. GRAHHHHHH MS SAIGON RELAPSE (i wasnt able to watch it live when they did the ph leg D: but my cousin sent the clips he took and now i cant stop watching them (especially sun and moon and the last night of the world [and the finale 😈😈😈] so you can expect [kinda] ms saigon related works HUAHDUASHDUH (gang im still tryna expand my vocab when it comes to very flowery words so HAUDHAUDH my works will [probably] get better from here trust) + this was written with miss saigon's sun and moon (specifically lea salonga and simon bowman's version) playing in the bg on repeat so yeah HWHAHAHA wc. 504

“may i have this dance with you?”

the moon casts its gentle gaze upon the beings of chinju forest — a symphony of frogs sing with the breeze as a troupe of bake-danuki accompany the piece with their dance.

in the midst of all these, a hand is offered.

"quite the romantic you are, mr. commissioner,” you show him a grin as you take his hand, slotting your bodies to form a cocoon of melody and warmth.

“only for you, milady,” the commissioner, kamisato ayato, returns your grin — his warmth radiating off your body as you fall into a steady waltz under the bed of stars.

the pair dance under the moon’s watchful gaze; the string of harmony and rhythm from the beings reduce to a gentle diminuendo as the pair lock eyes with each other.

“careful now, ayato. wouldn’t want the shuumatsuban catching their lord tripping and stepping on his lady’s feet now, do we?” a chuckle escapes from your lips as you sway to the tempo of your hearts. 

ayato brings his forehead to yours as he pulls you closer, “hm? is that so? well, lucky for me”, he abruptly turns you to face the scenery of chinju forest — his hands lay on your hips as the ghost of his breath cascades down the shell of your ear, sending chills upon its caress — your gentle waltz coming to a momentary halt. “i have a great dance teacher who coincidentally has the same name of my lady. and for all i care, those ninjas shouldn’t be intruding on their masters’ alone time. hmph.” 

laughter bubbles up in your throat as you hear the rustles of nearby bushes around you. “oh? is that right? well, care to tell me about the oh so wonderful dance teacher you have?” turning to your lover once more, you catch him in an embrace as you resume the gentle sway of your bodies. 

“we’ll be here until dawn then, my dear.” ayato sends you a gentle smile; his hand leads your head to his beating heart, gentle pats landing on it as he does the same to your shoulder. 

“if that’s the case, then i am most honoured to share this night with you.” you feel the rumble of his chest as he entertains your idea.

“well then. should we start with the part when said teacher confessed her undying love for me, her student?” a playful lilt touches upon his words as he spins you around.

"hey now. that sounds like i did something... nefarious." a small pout forms on your lips as your husband chortles at you.

as the night joins with day, their waltz continued without a misstep — the string of harmony and rhythm continue to accompany the lovers as they get lost in their own world of tell and tale.

and with the gazes of both sun and moon, they continue to sway to their own beat — holding each other tight as if it was the last night of the world.

tagging: @ayrastv

🐈‍⬛️: genshin has been added to the list of options for my taglist! please access the gform below if you'd like to be added to my taglist <3

© sheyfu on tumblr

[email-ensemble]

oh yeah ermmmm mod evil yahoo here but uhhhhhhh as y'all probably know I've completely left the gimmickverse on all my accounts. (yahooo, google 2.0, evil yahoo mail, etc)

Anyhow i will NOT be leaving this blog bc i might come back someday maybe, but i will be 100% inactive. Sorry guys, and thanks for the memories (:

[beepeircings]

Did you get everything you needed ?

I joined the silly @mcytblrholidayexchange and I got @mycelium-menace !!! Happy holidays and Moon big 🤯🤯🤯🤯

Rambles beloww cut also rbs are super appreciated <3

Divider design by : Saradika

So yeahh ! It's my first holiday thingy so far and it's pretty fun tbh ! There's alot of prompts to choose from and it's abit overwhelming at first but I made ways /lh

I haven't watched a full on Hermitcraft season before , nor have I watched Cleo or Joe Hill's uhh hermitcraft stufd. So ermmmm I binged watched the whole hermitcraft s8 , being my main pov being Cleo and Joe hills so that the art is accurate 100 percent no clickbate 🗣🗣🔥🔥[ spoiler alert : that shit devastatinv /pos ] [ I totes reccomend the experience tho ]

Oh yeah I get the Joe Hills experience now , he's pretty cool !!!!!

Anyways The event is super cool 10 out of 10 will join again 🔥🔥🔥 [ thank you mods have a good holifay season !!! ]

[rory-multifandom-mess]

i appear with a rose in my mouth while i am leaning against a wall

hey .

ermmmm number 1 with vhad?? teeheee

I LOVE YOU

1. "I'm in love with you"

Genre: Fluff

.

.

.

Ok, so Disassembly Drones are scary. Thad knew that more than anything, he thought. Having nearly died at the hands of two of them, it wasn't something he could easily forget.

Though, it was almost kind of ironic. Out of all of the drones he'd met, the one he fell head over heels for was the one that came very close to taking a bite out of his face, V.

He knew he should probably be terrified of her, and he knew that he had the scar to prove that, but by golly could he not help but find her absolutely awe-inspiring. Every time he was hanging out with Uzi, N, and V, he couldn't help but stare at her and want to talk to her all the time. He'd show her stupid memes on his phone, and sometimes she'd even laugh?

Holy robo-god did he love her laugh. It was unnerving but beautiful and sweet all at the same time. It was music to his audio receptors, just as her voice was. And the way she looked... It was like she was some angel of death. The way she teased and poked fun at Uzi and N and sometimes even Thad himself. He always laughed at her jokes and played along, no matter who they were toward. Sometimes, he'd even find himself just looking at her as she goofed off.

Throughout the past few months, Thad and V had gotten to know each other more and more. The two only joined in hangouts because of Uzi and N respectively, so whenever the two left them alone, it was mostly filled with awkward silence.

But then Thad decided to stop being awkward and make conversation. At first, it was still pretty awkward since she wouldn’t react to most things he’d say, but over time they got to talking more and more. And now, it was to a point where they could hang out together by themselves without Uzi and N around.

Even now, as he hung out with V, N, and Uzi again, he wasn't really paying attention to the conversation. Well, not like he could hear the conversation anyway.

Uzi, V, and N had taken to the sky in the middle of their hangout session, flying around in circles around each other with Uzi occasionally tumbling and smacking into one of the others. Since Thad couldn’t fly, he had taken to sitting in the snow and watching them.

Before he would’ve felt mildly left out, but now— now he just took this time to admire V in all of her beauty.

It was like she was glowing. She moved and twisted around in the air with elegance and precision, managing to dodge Uzi most of the time, whose flight was still extremely erratic.

Their laughter would echo through the open air and travel to his audio receptors, and it was amazing. Her laughter would echo around him, sending shivers down his spine and making him smile. He’d even find himself giggling along at times, despite not being up there.

Thad's mind wandered as he looked down at his feet, his smile dropping slightly.

He wondered if V liked him the same way he loved her, trying to think of things that might make it obvious. He knew she smiled at him often, but did she do the same with Uzi and N? He never paid attention long enough. She would usually laugh at his jokes as well, more often than she did Uzi and N, and there was also her teasing. She would often steal his hat just to ruffle his head. He smiled warmly at the memories, his core fluttering. He clutched his shirt.

Suddenly, he felt a pair of arms slide under his, lifting him off the ground. He yelped and flailed his legs slightly, grabbing onto the arms around his chest.

V laughed above him.

"Heya, little man!" She chirped happily, still laughing at his reaction.

"O-oh! Hi V!" He chuckled sheepishly, "You scared the hell out of me!"

"I know! That was the plan~" She sang, laughing along as she flew around with him.

"What were you thinking about?" She asked curiously.

"Uh..." Thad trailed, trying to come up with a lie. Think think!

"Football!" He blurted, "Yeah, uh, just thinking about the next game, haha," He grinned nervously.

She quirked a brow at him, then just chuckled.

"Is football all you think about?" She asked.

"N-No, I think about other things!" Thad defended.

"Relax, I was joking! Goofball."

"Oh."

She flew toward N and Uzi, still dancing around in the sky, and stopped.

"Hey, Uzi!" She called.

Uzi looked over.

"Catch!" V shouted, swinging Thad back and throwing him.

"Woah woah woah!-" Thad kicked his legs around and flailed his arms, panicked. Why would she throw me?!

"V!-" Uzi shouted.

"I got him!" N called, shooting forward and catching Thad by his ankles. Thad had to hold onto his hat to make sure it wouldn't fall.

"Why would you do that?!" Uzi scolded, gesturing angrily at Thad and N.

V shrugged.

"Relax, he's fine! N got him."

"He could've died, V!" N added.

"Actually, this isn't that far of a drop," Thad said plainly.

"Shush, Thad, the adults are talking," Uzi said.

"I'm older than you!" Thad protested.

V cackled at them, then swooped down, grabbing Thad and putting him on her back.

"Race you two to the rooftop!" She called as she boosted herself into the sky.

"Cheater!" Uzi shouted from the distance.

V laughed her signature laugh and Thad felt himself melt.

"Jeez, you tossed me around like a football!" Thad said, chuckling.

"Well now you know how the footballs feel," V said back, trying to hold back her laughter. She was in an awfully giggly mood that day.

Thad snickered, then started to laugh as well. He could've sworn V slowed down and tried to look back at him.

Soon enough, she landed on the rooftop, crouching down to let Thad off her back. He staggered a little.

"Woah-- I'm not used to being in the air that long," Thad commented, chuckling sheepishly.

V smiled at him.

"I can tell, dork," She said, rubbing his head and messing with the orientation of his backward cap. She walked off toward the ledge of the roof and leaned against it, folding her arms over it and crossing her left leg behind her right.

Wow. She looked beautiful in the moonlight. The way it reflected off her metallic body and her silvery hair was nothing short of perfect. She was glowing...

Thad glanced back, to where N and Uzi had just landed, then speed walked up to V, stopping beside her. He leaned against the ledge as well, carefully looking at her face before following her gaze, staring off at the moons as they rose above the horizon.

"What a sight..." Thad muttered.

"Yeah," V said, her voice soft and full of whimsy, "it's why I love this spot so much."

Thad looked back over at her.

The look on her face was so calm and relaxed, yet full of wonder. He'd never seen her look like this before, but just looking at her now... He knew one thing for sure.

"I'm in love with you."

V froze, her eyelights becoming hollow. She turned her head to him, blushing deeply

He looked back, confused.

"Ooooo..." N muttered behind him.

Then, Thad realized what he had just said.

His core jumped into his throat and he stood up straight, putting his hands up, a bead of sweat rolling down his visor.

"W-Wait! Shoot, I wasn't supposed to say that out loud- I-I just meant that, uh, you're- You're really pretty, and I, uh-"

Suddenly, V seized him by the collar and pulled him close, planting a kiss on his lips. Uzi gasped behind them.

She pulled him away, looking down at him with a smirk.

His hollowed eyelights had thickened, his display covered in blush lines.

"Why did you-"

"To shut you up."

A beat passed as Thad stared into her eyes.

"...So... Does that mean you'll... Go out with me?" Thad asked sheepishly, smiling nervously.

V stopped and glanced away, thinking. She then shrugged, looking back at him with a soft smile.

"Why not?"

Thad smiled, his core fluttering. He reached up and kissed her on the cheek with a giggle.

"Ew!" Uzi exclaimed.

"Aaaaw!" N cooed, happy to see V so happy.

"Shut it!" V shouted, slightly embarrassed.

Uzi and V began to bicker, and Thad simply laughed at their antics.

That was the lamest confession ever, but still... He still got the girl of his dreams. He wondered what was next for their relationship, anticipation rising in his chest.

.

.

.

VHAD WIN. WHOOPEE!!!!

~~~~~~~

Prompt Post! Lizzy x Doll; "Stay with me forever"/"Because I love you!" N x V; "I thought you didn't want me"/"Why haven't you kissed me yet?" V x Thad; "I'm in love with you" <- You are here! V x Thad "I missed you so much"/"I can't stay away from you" N x Thad; "Can I kiss you?" N x Thad; "I want you. Only you." V x Thad; "I thought you didn't want me." Sam x Uzi; "The way I feel with you"/"I can't stay away from you." Uzi x Thad; "Please don't leave me"/"I'll always love you" N x Thad; "Please marry me"/"Why haven't you kissed me yet?" N x Uzi; "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen"/"I'm better when I'm with you" J x Thad; "Please don't leave me"/"I'm better when I'm with you."

[the1975attheirverybest]

Being Funny In A Foreign Language

Chapter 3- somewhere in your heart/ somewhere guaranteed

read all other chapters here

A/N: this was weird to write. Let me know what you think.

Warnings: smut? Kinda?

——-

“2:00AM” the digital clock on the wall announced. Matty rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, a small cappuccino in his hand, sighing loudly as he entered the rehearsal space.

The sound of his echoing footsteps and the smell of his coffee alerted Tobias to his arrival promoting him to rustle through some documents to locate Matty’s copy of the setlist.

“Yo,” Matty mumbled a general greeting around the room intended for all attendants. “Where’s Amelia?”, scanning over the setlist that Tobias had handed him.

Tobias sighed, knowing where this conversation was headed. He looked up at Patricia, who sat on the couch in the middle of the stage, scribbling notes into her notepad. She shrugged.

“She’s out with her boyfriend.” Tobias replied, cautiously. “And, Matthew, I know this is going to make you feel things. But can we please focus on this?”

Matty’s face deceptively hid the way that the word ‘boyfriend’ had shattered his heart. He took a long sip of his beverage. “Yeah. Okay. Focusing on this.” He said, calmly, his eyes fixed on the work presented to him.

He tried to keep his thoughts on the task at hand, but the empty chair where he’d expected Amelia to be sitting felt as if it was mocking him. Like it knew that the cup of coffee in his hand was intended for her. It made his stomach turn.

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted to change any of the visual backdrop along with the setlist so….i’ve prepared some options just in case…” Tobias attempted to begin the meeting, but, even as he spoke, it was clear to him that Matty’s mind was elsewhere. “Matty? Thoughts?”

“What?” Matty seemed startled. He cleared his throat aggressively. “Yes, anyway” straightening the setlist in his hand. “Right. Okay, so, we have a gap where ‘Then Because She Goes’ originally was,” Matty mumbled, more to himself than to his co-workers. He moved songs around on the board for a moment. “we’ve got ‘Me,’ as an alternative to ‘Bagsy,’ and….” His train of thought seemed to cut short. “Sorry, ermmmm.” He rubbed his eyes. “Shouldn’t George be here?” Tapping his phone screen and watching it light up and display the time.

“Texted him.” Patricia said. “He’s on the way. Said he overslept.”

Matty, once again, did not seem to be listening. This time, something on his phone had caught his attention. Even through sleep-laced vision, he could see a toggle of Twitter notifications, all of which contained his name. He slipped his phone into his pocket. Out of sight; out of mind.

He stared blankly at people’s faces, “Sorry, erm, just….just a moment. Smoke break.” He whispered, hesitantly walking away.

“Matty!” Patricia called after him. “You forgot your cigarettes!!” But he murmured something about needing to pee, instead.

***

Matty could barely hear the bathroom door close over the sound of his own heart pounding against his chest like a drumbeat. Honestly tight. His breathing shallow. He pulled out his phone, watching the notifications roll in. His stomach tightened as he scrolled through, quickly gathering that a ‘Pop Culture news source’ had just published a profile on him and revived the same old grievances that the internet has had against him for a while lately.

@Mattyfrnglomg have you considered that your jokes just aren’t funny and people hate them cuz you’re a racist twat?

Girlies, no. @mattyfrnglomg is not hot. It’s 2023 stop making being a n*zi ‘hot.’

Matty Healy is a racist, homophobic pos. Hope he ODs and fucks off.

Oh okay so I guess racism is ~high art~. Really needed an ugly white guy to teach me that. Got it thanks, Matty Healy.

This article is taking his words out of context. You don’t understand how much different he is once you actually take the time to find out what he means to say.

|___ You don’t understand how much idgaf. There is no out of context bigotry. Shut up and get a life.

He swiped out of the Twitter app and put his phone away, leaning against the sink and staring at his reflection in the mirror. He wondered if the reflection staring back at him was anything like what the internet says.

He’s been here before. Countless times, in fact. The internet turning against him every few weeks has become a constant that he can always count on. Whats the point of going through this song and dance every single time? Besides, on the other side of this bathroom door, there is a room full of people waiting for his direction. He doesn’t have time for wallowing.

He waved his hand underneath the faucet, triggering its sensors.

“Right.” He spoke to himself in the mirror, drying his freshly washed face. “Back to work.” He tossed the crumpled paper towel into the bin and watched it bounce and fall outside the rim.

“Fucks sakes.”

***

“Tobias! Swap out ‘Frail State of Mind’ for, uh, ‘Heart Out’.” Matty’s voice yelled out even before he was all the way back in the room. “Also, could we rehearse some Drive Like I Do bits?

“I must still be dreaming” George’s groggy voice announced his entrance, “surely you’re not suggesting we do Drive Like I Do songs…”

“Listen,” Matty jumped up on the balls of his feet, too impatient to wait for George to get settled, he met him at the door, handing him a copy of the setlist on which he’d scribbled some thoughts. “What if we just took out this bit, and instead did, like, Self-Titled, or DLID songs. The cyclical conclusion of the individual show would, sort of, mirror the trajectory of the tour as a whole.”

George wondered to himself if he’d simply spent too much of his life in Matty’s company or if what his friend was suggesting actually made perfect sense.

***

Matty’s leg bounced nervously under the table. He tugged at his sleeves every time that Amelia and Joshua got a bit too close to each other. He couldn’t help but look in her direction all the time. She’d burst into the room, hours late, but her smile and the fact that she’d brought food and coffee for everyone made it alright. she wore the same perfume that she’d had on the first time that Matty had ever undressed her. He caught a whiff of it when she’d zoomed towards him, setting down a pastry and a cup of coffee by his notepad and whispering “your favorites” with a playful wink. He was too overwhelmed to look her directly in the eyes. The scent is now forever intertwined with his memories of their first time together. Though it felt wrong to reminisce, a disrespect of her burgeoning relationship with Joshua, he couldn’t help but recall her trembling fingers, eagerly reaching for his belt buckle, the timid blush in her cheeks when he said that he wanted to see her touch herself first, and, of course, her breathily calling out his name when he guided her through her own self-pleasure. What he wouldn’t give to be back there now.

Being so close to her yet so far away, watching her smile at the man by her side, it all felt like a knife to the chest. The throbbing of his heart was impossible to ignore. Every time that someone had said anything clever, or funny, he would find himself turning around to check if she’d laughed too. If she’d had the same thought or reaction as him. When George had asked her how her night had been and she hinted that the reason for her late arrival had something to do with her and Joshua having a little too much fun, Matty couldn’t not watch as Joshua’s hand reached for hers, gently.

“So, what’d I miss?” Amelia asked, setting down her coffee. “You rockstars have weird business hours, by the way.”

George handed her a copy of the new setlist to get her caught up.

“Excuse me you took out ‘Bagsy’? What the fuck for??” Her outrage directed towards Matty.

He remained silent, so she returned her attention to the paper in her hand.

“‘Frail State of Mind’ too?? Are you insane?”

“We’ve already discussed it. Just….move on.” He mumbled, avoiding looking at her.

“ yeah, but I remember you saying this tour is meant to include more Notes tracks and now you’re axing half of them. Oh and I suppose you expect me to find ‘You’ totally self-explanatory, too?”

Matty scratched his forehead, irritated in silence for a moment. “Maybe if you hadn’t been late, you’d have been around for the conversation. Guess you’ll just have to schedule your dates around your work next time, won’t you?”

Amelia was stunned into silence, simply shaking her head in disbelief.

“Amelia, uhh, I wondered if we might place some lights around the door frame for the second half of the show?” Tobias asked, mostly to cut the tension. “If they end up doing 28, that is.”

“That makes no sense.” She said without a second thought. “28 pre-dates the box iconography.” Her response was to Tobias, but her eyes still watched Matty, astounded.

“Why don’t we take- uhh- take 5 minutes while I bring us copies of the apology speech.” Tobias rushed to escape the room.

“I was thinking,” Amelia mused out loud breaking the silence that had covered the room as everyone read Matty’s Better Help ad. “the sentence that starts with ‘there’s nothing wrong with wanting to better yourself’ how about we change it to-“

“No,” Matty stated, firmly.

“Beg your pardon?”

“I said ‘no.’” Matty kept his eyes on his paper.

“But you haven’t even heard what I think you should replace it with…”

“Don’t need to. Pretty attached to that sentence. Don’t wanna change it.”

Amelia stood out of her chair and walked, stiffly, over to Matty, slamming the paper out of his hand. “Can I see you outside for a second?”

He shrugged, following her out.

“What the fuck’s the matter with you?”

“Amelia-“

“How dare you speak to me like that in front of everyone?”

“You’re asking questions that you shouldn’t-“

“I’m doing my job! The job that you hired me to do, by the way.”

“Doing your job would’ve been coming to work on time. Leaving your boyfriend at the door. Being a professional. Having those conversations when it was the right time to have them. Not- not now!”

Amelia shook her head, looking directly at him. He took off his glasses, wiping them off with the end of his shirt.

“Maybe the internet is right about you.” She spoke after an uncomfortable beat of silence. “Maybe you have turned into an arsehole.”

***

At one end of the hallway, Amelia laid in bed in her hotel room, watching Joshua undress and get ready to slide into the empty space next to her. She crawled into his arms as soon as he laid down.

“You alright? You seem upset.” Joshua kissed her forehead.

She couldn’t stop thinking about the look on Matty’s face as she’d called him an asshole. A look that she’d only seen once before. At George’s house, two years ago, hours after his long term relationship had ended. He’d gotten drunk and cried himself to sleep on George’s couch. She wondered if that’s how she’d find him right now. If she walked over to the other end of the hallway, to the Royal Suite, would she find him in that same state?

“I’m okay.” She whispered into Joshua’s chest. “Kiss me please.”

***

George grew increasingly worried the more that his knocks went unanswered. He pulled out his phone, sending “anyone hear from Matty yet?” To Adam and Ross before deciding to go down to the front desk and ask for a spare key.

His heart sunk at the sight in front of him. Several empty bottles of wine around the room, Matty’s crying muffled by the pillow that he’d buried his face into, the notepad on the floor, Matty’s body shaking, his hands fisting the duvet. He was right to be concerned. He was right to come here.

“Matty,” he whispered, laying a gentle hand on his friends shoulder. “Matty, mate, c’mon. Look at me. C’mon, let’s g- please, sit up for me?”

***

“ I know this isnt what you want to hear, but…There are only two options, I’m afraid.” George said softly, his head dipping to the side. “You either tell her how you feel, or you move on.”

“But she’s got a- a- Joshua!”

George tittered, trying not to be too amused. “I know, but what does that matter? They’ve only just met. You should still tell her. Let her make the choice for herself.”

“Nothings really changed, though. She was crushed when she told me she loved me and I didn’t say it back. And-“

“Why, exactly, did you not say it back?”

“I’m not- I don’t think being together would be a good idea. I’m not good enough for her yet.”

“But, Matty, you’ve had this— thing— for her for ages.”

“Yeah, but I was a fuckin mess for the first couple of years. I mean; I was addicted to smack- and - and then she got a boyfriend. And I got a girlfriend, and th-“

“I know. I was there.”

Matty fell silent for a moment, looking down as his hands fiddled, nervously, with the end of his sleeves. “It’s just….when I’m with her….when we’re together….everything feels right. Everything feels good — ‘m not even talking about sex; not that the sex isn’t good. Cuz it is. It’s fuckin great but that’s not all there is to it— Doesn’t matter what it is that we’re doing, if we’re doing it together, then I’m happy.”

“I haven’t heard you speak about anyone this way in a long time.”

Matty smiled, a tired, defeated smile, shrugging, “right.” He looked up at George, “but….im still not the kind of person that she can depend on. I couldn’t even say ‘I love you’ back. And- she’s got someone who…clearly knows how special she is. Who’s willing to take a risk on her.”

“Matty, there is no perfect redemption arc or whatever the fuck you’re on about- you’re don’t have to wait to become a different person- she said ‘I love you’ to you. Not some….potential of a perfect version of you”

Matty wanted to remind George that she’s wrong about him. That all the reasons she loves him for are not real. Simply a product of her misplaced faith in him. A mistaken understanding that he’s a better and stronger person than he is. But he didn’t have to say all that. He had a shortcut right at his fingertips. “Look at this!” Matty held up his phone, displaying a vast number of notifications, all of which contained derogatory and disparaging attacks on him, available for the whole world to peruse through at any moment. “Do you honestly think a new relationship would be good right now?”

The glimmer of conviction in George’s eyes began to fade. “So….does this mean….you’re letting her go?”

They were silent for a moment, then, George got up and pulled Matty into a hug.

“About that stuff in your phone-“

“I’m fine.”

George knew he wasn’t fine. But he also knew he wasn’t ready for help yet.

***

The show was perfect. Amelia had to hand it to Matty. She couldn’t see the vision at first. Especially when he’d changed much of the setlist, but onstage, it made perfect sense. Watching the audience’s shock and awe at witnessing those lesser known songs be played live for the first time in years only made the night more exciting. Matty appeared to take in the positive, instant feedback as well. Thanking everyone and taking a bow before getting off-stage.

She meant to inform him of how impressed she was backstage, but he was instantly swarmed by techs, unhooking him from the equipment and checking with him about next show’s instruments. He disappeared into the dressing room shortly after, and in the chaos of the post-show action, she was distracted. Before she knew it, Matty’s driver —who’d been reassigned to her and Joshua as soon as they’re joined the tour— was driving them back to their hotel room.

***

The silence was deafening. Matty laid in bed, struggling to sleep, lonely, cold, and contemplating going downstairs for a smoke. He picked up his phone and scrolled through his Instagram messages, his finger hovering indecisively over a woman to message. The routine —something he’d done before, on many a lonely night— made him feel sick. He didn’t want that anymore. He buried his phone under his pillow and tossed to the other side.

Minutes turned to hours as Matty laid, wide awake, tossing and turning in bed. His hand slowly sliding down his body, wondering if he could relieve some stress and distract himself from the pangs of loneliness. He closed his eyes, dipping his hand into his briefs and grabbing himself. He worked himself to the memories of his best sexual encounters, trying to recall how he’d felt, what it had been like, how he’d made his partner feel. The pleasure, the intimacy of that deep connection, the rush of giving someone else overwhelming pleasure and hearing them moan and whine. None of it seemed to be working, only building his frustration. He turned to lay on his stomach, still jerking himself off. As his frustration continued, he decided that perhaps humping the mattress may help. And he really tried his best, getting closer and closer to feeling something, he dedicated all of his focus towards remaining in his body, working hard at shutting away any thoughts, his hips grinding against the bed. He groaned and whined into the bedding. Had he been quieter, or moved slower, he might have heard the soft beeping of the door lock as a spared key swiped into it, or even the footsteps approaching his bedroom. Unfortunately, he only heard “Matty?” When it was too late. Amelia was already standing in the doorway.

“Fuck! Oh my- Christ!” Matty jolted at the sound of her voice. “A-Amelia. Wha- what- what’re you- doing here?” He cover himself up with the duvet, sitting up against the bed frame.

She smiled, walking towards him. “Sorry. I clearly interrupted something.” She teased.

Matty’s lips parted. He wanted to speak, but nothing came to mind. He watched her approach him, reach out her hand, and cup his face gently. God, he needed this. A human touch. Amelia’s touch.

“Amelia I’m so-“

“I know. I know. You don’t need to say anything, Matty.”

She leaned in kissing his lips. Her hand dipped under the duvet. “Let me help with that.” Wrapping her hand around his cock. Matty stiffened to her touch, swallowing a gasp.

Her hand jerked his length over and over, she’d sat in his bed, settling into a persistent rhythm. Matty cried incoherently, fucking into her hand and desperately hoping for pleasure. Nothing helped. She noticed his hips moving more aggressively and heavily m as his frustration peaked.

“Hey, easy, easy, Matty. Not like that. You’re gonna hurt yourself.”

“It’s not working. I’m so sorry- I- it hurts….”

“It’s okay; it’s okay. You don’t have to be sorry.” She let go of him, moving her hand away.

Matty blushed the words left his lips before he could stop himself “please don’t leave me.”

His genuine plea caught her off guard. “Matty….” Perhaps hes been worse off than she’d imagined. “I’m not gonna leave. I’m just…can I ummm…can I hold you?”

He nodded repeatedly, a wordless and enthusiastic plea. She wrapped her arms around him, doing her best to tighten around his thick, strong muscles. Amelia kissed along the expanse of his shoulders as she shook and wept in her arms. Despite his massive build, he felt so small and fragile. She put all she had into those gentle kisses, hoping his skin would absorb her love, her care as she grazed it with her lips. They stayed that way until Matty had no tears left to cry. He fell asleep.

***

The sunlight felt harsh against Matty’s eyelids. He stirred in bed, not ready to open his eyes yet. As sleep weaned its hold on him, the events of last night came rushing back. He was filled with a mix of different emotions. Comfort, embarrassment, anxiety, and a sliver of joy. As he prepared to open his eyes and turn to the other side of the bed, he prayed to a god that he didn’t believe in that he would find her sleeping right next to him. He waited a moment for his heartbeat to come back down. Then, he turned around, slowly, and opened his eyes. She was gone.