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#ermmm awkward
sillycyan · 10 months
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This is why I don’t be interacting with some of the fandoms of anything cuz y’all just wanna spoil stuff and ruin the fun for everybody ( ̄ヘ ̄)
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beelas-bees-art · 4 months
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added the stills of my videos to the og posts :P
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shrimpricebowl · 9 months
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i'm too afraid to admit anything to you until it's too late
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lambdollies · 20 days
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Victor WIP! Utterly adore this man
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dj-wayback · 8 months
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What type of generation of puppet are you?
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…Yes, it is quite ‘cool’ that you are one of a kind model. But—I’m realizing this now—doesn’t that get kind of…
Kind of what?
…..
Nothing. Let’s proceed.
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superbellsubways · 1 year
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i love pointy noses so much. hate drawing them from the front
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ruggie-bucchisblog · 5 months
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ITS THE WEEKEND RAHHH
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angeltism · 5 months
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what the fuck why is my (old) main following my ex
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gmod · 1 year
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oh i don't think i can post any of these nptg ron doodles here
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sillycyan · 11 months
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Just tryna see beautiful fanart and get flashed instead.. like calm down (×_×)
I love going through the link click tag and constantly being jumpscared by porn!!! /s
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denimfurby · 1 year
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Hmmm having very ????? thoughts about my name
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kroosluvr · 1 month
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vending machine coffee
hi guys i did not move for 7 hrs until i finished this HELP MEEEEE (From the lineart+colors stage btw.... it basically took 7 hrs for rendering LKDSKJADKSAHD)
this is technically long winter au (royal trio r trapped together for longer than like 10 minutes) and this is.. i guess.. like a week in? to maruki's actualization. so theyre all very antsy and anxious (and sumire and goro havent reaaaalllyyy had many heart-to-hearts yet)
ANYWAY do u think abt the horror of being slam dunked into an ""ideal reality"" and not knowing what's real and what's fake and Most horrifically. getting used to the fake part
i like to think in long winter au they band together super close bc theyre tbh frightened of this reality, don't know wtf could happen if maruki could do This then he could do Anything right. so they walk all together like ducks in a line LMAOOO
akira feels disheartened at akechi's joke in page 1 - like yeah shit ur right. what's real and what's not. sumire distracts them by buying coffee
akira covers akechi's mouth bc he thinks hes gonna say some dumb shit (he wasn't)
(also for the record sumire hands the first coffee to goro and then the 2nd to akira then akira picks the last one up for her)
THE WAY AKIRA SMILES AT SUMIRE IM GONNA JUUUUUUUUUMP (i forgot to draw his bag strap there. fml. whatever)
woah the posters on the wall thats crazayyy is that the detective prince, the phantom thieves, and kasumi yoshizawa (tm)???? woahhhhh smile
akira grimaces at akechi's ""advice"" bc he Knows how real it is. He knows how haunted goro is by 1) his mother's death. 2) his murders. 3) the death of his Child self and his dreams of being a "hero of justice." sumire obviously doesn't know all this baggage so she just takes it at face-value like "yeah ur right senpai now that i think abt it!" but it really weighs heavily on akira and goro realizes that in the last page. so hes like. shit. well. ermmm. awkward lets get outta here
i like the colors on the last page eheh
ok time for me to eat something im feel like im dying.
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lolitaa-17 · 9 months
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The Worst
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Toji x Reader | warnings: creampie, breeding, ermmm idk figure it out.
You wipe off all the snow that was on your coat before entering the cabin. It was Christmas eve and months ago you all (Gojo, Geto, Megumi, Nobara, Yuji, and Toji) decided to spend time together at Gojo's cabin.
"Hi." You smiled at everyone as you open the door, revealing Geto and Gojo attempting to make gingerbread houses. Nobara, Yuji and Megumi making hot chocolate. And finally Toji with of course...another women.
You roll your eyes and take off your coat. Gojo and Geto too focused on the gingerbread houses to even notice you, until Yuji yelled out "She's here!!" which caught the attention of everyone. Yuji pulled you into a big hug. Following Nobara and Megumi, and of course Suguru and Satoru. Toji sitting there watching you with his women wrapped around his arms.
You throw him a little awkward wave before walking into the kitchen with the kids. "He just met her yesterday, and he'll probably leave her tomorrow." Megumi whispered quietly as you got closer. You couldn't help but laugh at his comment.
"What took you so long to get here anyway?" Satoru says wrapping his arms around your shoulders. You could feel Toji burning your back with his gaze. "Work, they've been nonstop recently." You sigh taking the hot chocolate that Nobara passed to you. "I say you quit and become Satoru's trophy wife." she says making a heart sign with her hand at you and Satoru.
"Gross, not Sensei." Megumi says softly slapping Nobara's hand. "Let's not bring dating up actually, because someone looks a little..." Suguru says whispering to you and Satoru. You slightly turn to see Toji scrolling on his phone ignoring the women he brought. "Hey um Juliet..right?" Yuji asked.
She looked so happy that we even looked at her, You felt bad for her. She was young and Toji was manipulative. It was the worst combo. She had her life ahead of her. "Yeah!" she tries to get up but Toji grabs her arm "Sit." and so she does.
"Toji, let her go. She looks bored." You say walking towards them. He looks up at your face. He missed it, those doe eyes, those plump lips, they way your hair touched your face. He gets up not taking his eyes off yours "Go ahead then." He pushed passed you making his way out the front door.
"Thank you! I'm Juliet by the way...I haven't gotten your name yet..." She waited and looked at you for to respond. "Y/n.." you smiled and her eyebrows crashed. "Oh so you're the one Toji always talks about." you sighed.
"Let's go join the others...yeah?" You say changing the topic. She followed you with a small smile plastered on her face. She looked happy just to be here.
Time passed and Toji was still outside. You sigh a little worried. "I'm gonna go check on Toji." before you got up from the couch Juliet stops you. "I'll go with you."
"Juliet wait can you be my parnter for the game that we're playing?" Megumi says trying to stop her from going with you. He looked at her with those same manipulative pleading eyes his dad had. So how could she say no.
You walk towards Toji's Tacoma. It was black...the windows were very tinted but you knew he was in there. You knocked on the window and immediately the window opened. "What the hell do ya want now?" it smelled like cigarettes. "I was just checking in on you." you softly said still intimidated by just his presence. "Well here I am? So bye." You rolled your eyes and turned around walking away from his car.
"Actually y/n.." Your stop and turn around. "Go tell the others that we're gonna go buy booze, Satoru and Suguru have been begging me."
So here you are, sitting in his car while the music is blasting, of course Toji lets you put on your music. He secretly has the same playlist you do and plays it in the car only when your not around.
He stops at a rest area and shifts his gaze towards you before tunring the music down, "I miss you." You nod "No Toji you can't keep doing this." You look out the window trying to stop yourself from tearing up. "Doing exactly what?" He raises his voice.
"You fucking tell me you miss me and you treat me the same every time!" You look at him as the tears finally fell. His gaze soften. He sighs "I've fucking changed baby, I try to find you in everyone I meet." He wipes your tears and traces his thumb over your lips.
"Bringing another women to spite tonight was one way to fuck up already." You grab his hand not letting go. "So it worked?" He smirked. You rolled your eyes pushing his hand "I still fucking love you!"
"Come here." he pats his lap. "No." you say wiping your tears. "Take your coat off and c'mere." He was captivating, his dominance was something you definitely missed.
He grabs your waist gripping it tightly. "You have no idea how long i've been waiting to see you today." You just looked at Toji, not saying one word, until he started kissing your neck. "Is this what you want out of me?" He pulled away giving you the most offended look.
"Is that what you fucking think?" He lets go of your waist. "Toji I didn't mean it like that, it's just every time-"
"Get off me." He demanded.
He drove back to the cabin after grabbing the booze for Satoru and Suguru. The car ride was silent the whole time. Til you finally arrived, "Give this to them and get Juliet for me." You snatched the drink from him and slammed the car door.
Megumi and Yuji shared a room, while Nobara had her own. "Y/n we didn't know that you and Toji were gonna, well break up so you're gonna have to share." Gojo says a bit awkwardly.
"Hmm just sleep with Satoru, His bed is massive." Geto says before taking one big sip of the whiskey. "No. I'll just sleep in the living room, the couches are somewhat comfy."
All the lights were off, the only light was coming from the massive Christmas tree. You felt guilty for saying what you said to Toji, but it was partially true. You were anxious, how late it was getting and he hadn't arrived yet.
Just as if he heard your thoughts, you could see the headlights pulling up to the front of the Cabin. You quickly close your eyes as soon as you heard the front door opening. You could hear the rustling of him taking his coat and shoes off. Until it stopped, now all you heard were his steps getting closer and closer.
"Come on lets go to the room." He whispers as he slowly pats your shoulder. "Toj-" he huffed, "Y/n it wasn't a fucking question, cmon." You got up and followed behind him. The doors opened revealing the cozy room with presents all over the bed. "Toji...did you do all this?" you asked looking up at him as he loomed behind you now.
"Mhm" he takes off his shirt leaving him only in his grey sweatpants. You could sense that he was still mad. He pushed a couple presents and laid down on the bed. "My love, look I'm sorry at the unnecessary comment earlier. I was just mad..." You grab his face and make him look at you. "Open the gifts goddamnit."
You kiss him before sitting next to him on the bed. You wore the shortest booty shorts you could find paired with a grey tanks top. You notice Toji glaring at you, "You're really bugging me." He puts one of the decorative pillows on top of his lap.
You rolled your eyes and started opening the gifts, a bunch of different expensive perfumes, Lingerie and expensive jewelry. You move the pillow and stratal him. "I love all of this, but Toji I just really want you, I want to start over."
You could feel his rock hard dick under you. Just the feeling of him already had you soaking. "Then lets start over." He leans in and pecks your lips. You tired pulling away but his started kissing you more aggressively. The small grunts coming out of his mouth as he feels you slowly grinding on his clothed dick.
"Fuck" you pull away from the messy make out session and started removing your shirt. How Toji sat there admiring your breast. Taking one and massaging it as he sucks the other one. You lean you head back and soft moan. "Lay down." You hear Toji whisper. so you listen.
He slides off your panties, he slides down to meet your wet cunt thats been waiting to see him. "Sit on me." he looks up at you. "Toji, No I don't want to hur-" He scoffs "Look at you and look at me...sit on me."
"Fuck." You moan as his tongue constantly makes contact with the little pearl with his tongue. You grab a handful of his hair as you hear the loud slurping noise. You look down and you see how small you are compared to Toji. It turned you on, you loved how big Toji was. It made you feel comfortable and safe yet so scared.
"T-Toji f..fuck me already." You gasp and he fastened his tempo with his tongue. You couldn't help but squirm closing your legs tighter and tighter but you were scared you were gonna suffocate Toji.
"Fuck Toji m'done, i wan you inside me." So he stops and tosses you on your stomach. "I fucking miss this ass." He smacks your ass causing you to moan. He spreads open your wet pussy lips before sliding his sweats down revealing his lengthy fat veiny dick. You were looking back as he was getting ready to fuck you.
"m'gonna fuck you so hard." He whispers before thrusting hard into you. "Fucmm" You dig your head into the pillow as he thrusted in with no warning, its been a while, getting used to his dick. "I fucking needed you.." Toji threw his head back as he kept thrusting into you. He looked at you, how quiet and muffled your moans were. He slid a pillow under your stomach and grabbed your by the neck causing you to look up.
"T-Toji stahh.." you bit your lip as the pleasure kept going constantly. With every grunt you heard coming out of Toji, the faster he went. Slapping your ass occasionally. "f..fuck how about I fucking making your pregnant." He says as he feels himself getting ready to cum.
"Pleasmm Toji." You bite your lips. "I wan..it" you gasp. "M'yeah? You wan hold m'fucking kids?" His thrust getting harder and deeper, his tip constantly hitting the gushy spot in your pussy . "Mmhmm, yes i wan it." You moan.
"Fuck." he says letting his load spill inside your pussy. Finally puling out and dropping right next to you. "Fuck Toji." You try to catch your breath. "I've missed it, you, your scent. I missed all of it. I love you so fucking much. I don't ever want to let you go." You lazily smile at him "Cute...clean me up."
He laughs and gets up to grab a rag to clean you.
-
"The Christmas miracle was Toji and Y/n getting back together." Satoru says noticing how touchy Toji had been with you all morning. Nobara rolls her eyes, "Make her a trophy wife, or someone else will." Suguru butts in "I don't think that's gonna be a problem considering they plan on having a-" Toji smacks him on the head. "Shut up."
You embarrassingly walk away from them walking to the Kitchen where Megumi had been making himself a tea. "I'm glad you gave him another chance, the amount of times he would nonstop talk about you was getting annoying, no offense." You laughed, "What are you fucking saying little boy?" Megumi grabbed his mug, "Nothing, I made you a coffee already y/n its on the counter." You grabbed the coffee as Toji wrapped his big arms around your waist.
"He says that about me but he low key misses you too." He chuckles leaning in kissing you passionately. "Mm yeah? Well like father like son." you smile as he gives you that look that you loved, his sly smirk.
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zombyjuice · 8 months
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YOU USED TO LIVE A BLONDED LIFE₊˚⊹ ᰔ(๑ᵕ⌓ᵕ̤)>c[_]
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in which it’s almost valentines and all wonbin can think about is the girl on his bus rides home.
wonbin x fem!reader
cussing, awkward, kinda bad ngl, reader is poc ermmm enjoy :3
“I’m lonely, I need a man before Valentine or I’ll go fucking insane” you speak coming up behind your friend Luna who practically jumped out of her seat phone flying in the air “Goodness! Someone needs to go put a bell on you” you look down at her with a menacing stare getting out of your 🕴️pose and going to the other side to grab your chair, stepping over her phone.
“I feel like you’ve already gone insane,” she picks up her phone thanking God it’s not broken “Cute hair by the way” she points out your now dark brown hair up put in a ponytail and a white headband with a fluffy blue star clip attached to it, you smile softly touching your hair “hopefully that cute boy on the bus thinks the same, he’s always staring at me I think he wants at me” you let out a giggle and jump up and down on your chair “oh my GOSH he’s so fine how~”
“shut up I’m sure he’s going to like it your pretty and look straight out of one of those old quirky Japanese fashion magazines, also you don’t have the worst personality” she states finishing her coffee “Oh? whatever fuck you let’s go” you kick her under the table and watch her face curl up in pain laughing out loud.
You guys shuffle out of the cafe with grumpy faces seeing all Valentine’s decorations and giddy men and women with gifts for the significant others, “disgusting” you sneer “Be happy” you glare at her “Shut the fuck up and be mad with me fuck valentines!” you slightly shout her eyes darting around not understanding how you have no shame(in Korea), you were a strange complex person but she loved you for it, deciding to ignore the glares.
Not even on the bus yet eyes immediately start darting trying to find the boy excited dressed just for him even though in the back of your mind you knew you were never going to go up to him ever, especially remembering your first interaction.
To make a long story short he was at the bus station at 1 am doing God knows what (waiting for the bus) and since there was barely anyone there you and Luna thought it was the best time to do a silly little TikTok you sprouting with energy cause Luna just gave you tons of it.
The song was slowed down so there you were dancing your heart out (slowly) to Ma Boy by sistar19 to get the perfect video and everything would’ve been fine if you didn’t heard the stifled laugh that the boy was holding.
Your face contoured with fear and Luna's deadpan while tapping your shoulder to run. And ever since then you’d see the boy every day, which would be concerning any other man but this was a breathtaking man who looked at you like he wanted to go down on you any moment.
Luna says it’s not that bad because the video ended up being great the sped up video making people laugh and you guys got viral the next day but you think that was hands down the most embarrassing moment of your life.
“I think you guys would look good together” your friend states while you guys eagerly waiting for the bus “What do you mean? How?!” you get giddy slapping her arm “idk it give cute black cat bf and weird orange cat gf” “okay can you hop off always trying to insult me” “that’s what I do best” “oh you're a fucker” “ow! Stop pinching me gay fuck” “You’re g-”
“the doors open” a quiet voice that belonged to no other than your future(not really) pretty black cat boyfriend >:3
you both barely look back and beeline into the bus.
“haha,” you awkwardly laugh a little too late at the boy who looked at you a little silly, both of your eyebrows raised strangely at each other “Oh my gosh” Luna muttered.
You turned around all of a sudden you would like to leave right about now.
The bus ride was quite awkward you and your friend standing and chatting sometimes losing yourselves in the convos and laughing a bit too loud immediately going to check if he looked at you a certain way.
You guys shared cute glances here and there you could feel the way he looked at your outfit or the way he scanned your side profile also not failing to catch the soft grin plastered on his face.
When the time came around for you to get off your bus stop you frowned, yeah you guys never talked before and you weren’t planning on it, but his presence was enough you could gladly sit awkwardly next to him as he looked at you with those cute boba eyes, gladly giving him the same look back.
You gave him one last look and a soft tight lip smile before walking away with your friend off the bus, but what you didn’t catch was that he followed you guys off.
“excuse me- excuse me”
You guys turn stiff and you snap back to see him slightly smile and wave “Can I um speak to you, please, not to be weird or anything”
You look at Luna with a smile a little too bright and she nods smiling back and glaring at Wonbin before walking off.
you look back at the boy's direction and you walk up to meet each other properly…
“You changed your hair,” he states blankly your eyes go a bit wide, and chuckle a bit “Yeah I was tired of the blonde, but I’m nervous this might be too plain though it does look a lot better I might add some color or maybe like a couple of blo- sorry I blabbering” he giggles a little too hard eyes turning into crescents and cheeks burning red “sorry that was a weird statement, not your fault, haha but um I’m Wonbin…” he scammed your features and your reactions finding them all so cute how expressive and real you are it’s like he could see you take note of his name in your head.
“Wonbin.. pretty I like it! I’m y/n” his face burned more and he couldn’t help but let out a nervously high giggle “Also pretty I think you're pretty too and I wanted to introduce myself properly and take you on a date or two before you know, Valentine's” gulp.
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txtmetonight · 4 months
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Recordings of the Clock ✆
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call summary ⋆ ★ The wallows of slipping time are hidden behind a camera that Kim Seungmin wishes to stop.
pairing *. * Kim Seungmin x Fem! Reader
genre⋆ ★ Angst, fluff
warnings *. Mentions of dying, mentions of a disease, bad grammar
call duration⋆ ★ 5.6k
a/n*. * something short I conjured up during finals season, forgive me for not being active uhuhuhuh i think i'm gonna fail my math final...oh well. ermmm i also got a bit lazy at the end but whatevs we ball.
taglist ⋆ ★ @kflixnet
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25th of March 
The camcorder starts to whir alive for the first time, much to Seungmin’s delight. It’s quite big and sturdy and he struggles to hold it a bit from its awkward grip adjusting his fingers from time to time, yet he is very proud of his purchase–you could see it on his face. The lens of the device sits in front of a cake which is right behind it is you, gleaming in excitement at the curiously situated camera.  
You both don’t know it yet for Seungmin is still figuring out how to control the camcorder but it’s recording with the lens still unfocused.  
“Minnie... are you sure you actually know how to use that. You look like you’re struggling.”  
Seungmin scoffs at your comment but doesn’t say anything. The pads of his fingers play around with the various buttons and his brows furrow to your amusement and impatience. The candles are starting to drip onto the light-blue icing. 
“We could do it later y’kno–” 
“Oh, I got it!” Your husband cheers and suddenly the camera is pointed at you, running quite well in its glory. You smile cheeses at the lens and your husband tries to zoom in and out of your face, softly chuckling when you stick your tongue out at him.
He would say more, but you told him to play nice today since it was your first anniversary with each other and that he wouldn’t have married you if not for this day. He decides to comply with a small grumble.  
“Can I blow out the candles now?” You ask but before he can say yes, you do it anyway, laughing loudly at his expression, which is contorted into a faux annoyance.  
“Why would you ask, just to do it anyway?” He zooms into the cake with a little smile. He got the cake along with the camera just hours before as a surprise for you.  
You shrug, your voice becoming a little muffled through the audio. “Aren’t you gonna sing us a happy anniversary song?”  
“No.” 
But his actions defy his words as he carefully sets the camcorder down in a position where it could still capture the both of you as he rounds the table towards you. He takes a small swipe at the cake to smear your nose when he sits down next to you, but you do nothing in retaliation.
You just grin and lean a bit closer and that’s when he finally sings to you, and you start to fluster underneath his gaze. It’s loving and deep when his hands trail to your jaw and cup your face. He kisses your cheeks.  
“Happy anniversary lovely.”  
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11th of April 
“Seungmin, look over here!”  
The passing wind whips your husband’s hair into his face as he tries to face you with a broad smile. You laugh at his misery as the camera subtly shakes in your hold, trembling at the skittering steps you take to meet a huffing Seungmin.  
The sun glares at the ground as people ranging from young to old scattered the small park on its threshold. The camcorder picks up the jovial energy through the recording and you’re satisfied with the clarity of it all. But your partner isn’t too ideal with your whole attention on this mere device. 
“Just marry the camera at this point. You look like you’re about to kiss it.” 
“Oh hush.”  
You roll your eyes and switch the camera over to face it towards you both. You’re squinting into the lens, but Seungmin looks down at you, pressing a softening smooch to your hair, just before he grabs the camcorder out of your hands. 
“Wait–give it back!”  
The sky is a bright blue, and it practically blinds the glass especially at the way that Seungmin points the camera up.  
“No way! We’re on a date! Your eyes should be on me. On your husband.”  
You snort but ultimately give up your fruitless attempts, knowing him very well enough that he wasn’t going to succumb to your requests with the mind that he was indeed right in his reasoning. You instead punch him in the gut, which he hunches over for in pain before you sit down on the picnic blanket laid out on the ground.
He follows soon after and the grass folds underneath the camera’s weight–just a bit out of reach from your fingertips, pushing it away just slightly when you make a lunge for it.  
Seungmin smiles smugly at your expense.  
“You’re so mean to me,” You whine pulling your hand away from his sneaky fingers, but his reflexes are faster (or rather you were just slower of purpose), but he catches your arm and intertwines your pinkie with his. It catches you warm and tingly inside at his affection, yet you refuse to show him that in the amidst of your (fake) vexation.  
Seungmin knows truly that you’re acting inside and so he lets himself open the small picnic basket he prepared for both of you and serves himself a sandwich...a sandwich that was supposed to be for you.  
“Wow, this looks so good right now. Maybe I’ll eat this one today.” Seungmin brings the food up to his lips, just hovering over his teeth with a smile that grows even bigger when you don’t even spare him a glance. You instead choose to stare at his own meal that he packed for himself. When you see him take a small nibble from the corner of your eye, you let a disheartened sigh leave your lips.  
You don’t see it immediately, but the man clicks his tongue and nudges himself a little closer to you, holding the sandwich up to your mouth now. You bite the inside of your cheeks to stop yourself from giggling at his antics. He’s cute–really and every moment you spend with him, you’re reminded why you decided to marry him. Your fingers seem to clutch your hands a little tighter, overwhelmed with the amount of love that thrives through your veins.  
“C’mon, I was just joking. Take a bite, I worked so hard on this!”  
“Hmmm fine. If only you buy me ice cream later.” 
He rolls his eyes but nonetheless agrees with your deal and with that, you take a bite out of the bread, taking it out of his hands with a meek chuckle. You find his beam that follows gorgeous.  
The silence that consumes the area is peaceful and serene, yet you're soaking in the pure warmth that your lover radiates. The trees that provide the shade sway back and forth and the distinct laughter of children from a nearby pair of swings entrances your attention.  
You’re stunning like this–Seungmin knows, has known for the first time he’d ever met you. But he’s still taken aback every single time, with a great surprise. The ring on your finger glimmers in his eyes. 
“We need to start packing to go to your parent’s house on Sunday.” Seungmin groans taking the empty plastic plate away from you and replacing it with a small bowl of strawberries. You gratefully take them but your face cocks to the side with confusion. 
“We’re going...to my parent’s house?”  
Seungmin snorts, “Yeah stupid. It was your idea remember.” He pauses for a second and then continues, “Or actually my idea because I’m such a great son-in-law.” 
“Yeah right. You argued with my dad over which baseball team was better. You really hurt his feelings that night.” You snort, slapping his arm.  
“Because it was a serious matter!” 
“Of course. I could never doubt you, Minnie.”  
He manages to shove the red fruit down your mouth to shut you up. 
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29th of April 
“Say hi.” 
You roll your eyes and focus once more on the stack of papers on your desk. But you certainly don’t ignore his chuckles, a soft grin blooming on your face when he suddenly slams his hands on the documents. 
“Minnie don’t disturb me. I need to submit this by tomorrow.” 
“Why what happened?” He questions, looking closely at the random words that litter the page before he deems it too incomprehensible for his understanding. When you grumble, he innocently smiles at you.  
“I accidentally arrived at the meeting a little too late...and mixed up some of the forms, and you know how Mr. Cheong is.” You ruffle your hair in your hands in exasperation. “He got pissed and decided to punish me for my ‘unresponsible behavior!’. Can you believe that?!”  
Seungmin nods solemnly before he takes what he’s sure is the third cup of coffee that night. “Well, he’s an asshole...but I’ll leave you to it, I guess. Have fun!”  
You groan. “Seungminnn!”  
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1st of June 
The loud humming of a commercial is loud in the background, but Seungmin pays no mind to it, not when his loud chuckling overpowers it with you standing in front of him in a grimace. You’re sporting an apron that’s covered in a multitude of stains that you reject to get rid of simply because it is one of Seungmin’s first gifts to you after he found out about your dear fondness to cook.  
Yet that sentiment to the pots and pans has brought you down for the first time in a while and you’re severely disappointed, to say the least. At least Seungmin’s having his fun and he’s talking to the camera as he’s at it, showing the lens the failed stew. 
“You don’t have to be recording this...” You say, glaring at the bowl in front of him. He shrugs his shoulders and says, “It’s one in a chance lifetime moment.” 
You’re not sure if you are offended or moved by his comment. 
“Seriously, I don’t know what I did wrong! I swear I did exactly what I usually do!’ You stress, going back to where all the spices lay near the stove, checking every single one of them. Seungmin who usually expressed his delight for your food, scrunched his nose right as the spoon touched his tongue, pushing you into a mess. 
“Lovely, which container did you use for salt?” He asks, looking over your shoulder, pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek to calm you down a bit. It helps a little, and you answer his question by picking up a fairly large pink container that was filled with salt. Or so you thought. 
“That’s...the sugar box. That’s why it was so sweet.” He takes the container out from your hands as you furrow your eyebrows, sighing deeply at your idiotic mistake. 
“Has it always been that box?” You weakly ask. You feel his nod and your lips tremble before you awkwardly squirm out of his grasp. As of recently, work has been cutting off your sleep and you find yourself more muddled than ever. You plan to call off work for the next two days and get your well-deserved rest. 
But right now, you need to find the spoons and taste the stew yourself–except you forgot where they’ve gone! 
“Where did we put the utensils again?!” You cry, frustration ripping you apart.  
“Hey, hey, calm down a little. It’s gonna be okay.” Grabbing your hand, he bends down and kisses you softly against the counter, slowly wiping away the tears that roll down your face. You can’t help but feel horrible though. 
“Oh, I’m so sorry. I–I just messed up dinner and–” 
Seungmin kisses you again and softly hugs you against his chest where you melt. His fingers thread through your hair and you can’t help releasing another choked sob. Everything has been so stressful recently and it feels nice in his arms. 
“And it’s not the end of the world, is it? We can still order something nice. How does pizza sound for tonight?”   
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15th of June 
“Where are we at Mrs. Kim?” Seungmin queries, zooming into your face as you swat your hand at him. Your cheeks redden when a couple of onlookers shoot their gazes your way, but you sigh and stare up at your husband.  
“In the parking lot. Of a hospital.”  
“Because why?”  
You give him a look. “Because I haven’t been taking care of myself and got sick.” 
He nods and pinches your cheek. He supposes that you both look odd with a big camera in his hands, but he doesn’t find it in himself to care. He rather would watch these old videos with his future family with you, laughing at all the stupidity.  
“Minnie I’m not even that sick though–really! Maybe you’re overreacting a little.”  
“I’m not going to listen to a physically ill person.” He sings.  
You cross your arms and look away in annoyance. Sometimes your fingers itched to wrap around his throat to strangle him, and that tingle was very apparent now as his arms brushed alongside yours. 
“And that physically ill person is also your wife, who knows her body better than you do. You know this will just be another unnecessary bill added to our insurance.” 
“Yep. And I don’t care.... 'cause we’re already here. Say bye to our baby.” He lets you take the camera for now as you raise eyebrows at his claims, softly chuckling to yourself about his ridiculousness.  
“Our baby? Really?”  
He nods. “Yeah of course. Now say bye, and we’ll see him later after the appointment.”  
“Wait. Why is it a bo–” 
The damned camera now focuses on a small bird in her nest before it flips back to Seungmin’s face. 
“Alright, we’re back baby. Do you wanna tell our daughter how the meeting with the doctor went.” Seungmin coos at you to rile you up. And it works well because you’re especially snappy today when you twist the skin of his waist, making him yelp in pain. 
“Horrible. They took my blood. And Kim Seungmin, if you make me anymore angry than I am right now, I swear to fucking god, I will snap your head in half.”  
“Yikes we can’t have that now, can we?” He shakes his head and before he can get another word out, you (softly) slam the camcorder shut. 
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19th of June 
“Hellooo! We are playing Uno and our dear Seungmin is biting the curb. He fucking sucks at the game!” Felix exclaims into the camera, his endearing freckles up close and personal to the camera. He pulls out his own cards and shows them secretly to Lens–his deck consisting of three two-pluses and two other random cards of blue and yellow.
He has the least number of cards out of the whole group playing and it’s evidently shown when he turns his hands around. And just as he said, Seungmin truly is horrible because he now holds what looks like half of the deck in his hands.  
Right next to him is you though who thought that it would be better not to play as you started to mess up whatever the hell you were doing with your cards. You blamed it on the influx of alcohol in your system as to why you were acting so dozy.  
“I’m so sorry Seungmin. But this is the only card I have!” Jisung apologizes (though you could all tell he definitely wasn’t feeling sorry) and proceeds to place a four plus in the growing stack of discard. It’s funny to see the man rage. 
“Fuck you.” He seethes but nevertheless succumbs to his defeat grabbing another four cards to add to between his fingers which causes a robust found of laughter from your group, Chan practically turning red at the face from the amusement. Minho laughs softly then turns towards you and offers another drink that you refuse with shaking hands and a gentle smile, pressing a kiss to your husband’s shoulder when he releases another fit of anger. His friends were certainly not playing nicely tonight. But it’s all fun and loud.  
“Hey guys...say cheese!” Felix shrieks when he finally places his last card down–a yellow six and Changbin gets berated by Jeongin after he promised him that Felix doesn’t have any yellow cards.   
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20th of June 
You’re sitting alone on the couch curiously watching your husband busy himself making tea. It’s “teatime” he had told you after randomly watching a rather boring movie on TV that was for some reason making a delectable scene of tea making. You both decided to turn off that awful show and converse yourself into a debate about how to properly eat Bungeo-pang while drinking a nice cup of warm infusion.  
He’s fairly quick with his brewery skills and is out by you in no time, handing your mug to you (but not before he took a small sip out of it) and crouches down right in front of the camcorder. 
“What’s the proper way to eat Bungeo-pang–from the tail or from the head? Start!” He claps his hands loudly and you in turn laugh at his dorkiness but settle yourself comfortably to absolutely destroy your husband with your reasoning. Who in the world eats fish bread from the tail anyway? 
“Obviously the right way to eat Bungeo-ppang from the head. It’s just morally correct!” You argue, taking a sip of the drink in your hands. Your husband who couldn’t disagree more scoffs and rolls his eyes. 
“How is eating the head more ‘morally’ correct than eating from the tail. That just seems cruel!”  
“Because if you eat the head first, then the fish would already be dead and wouldn’t experience the pain of being eaten alive! If you start from the tail, then it’ll slowly die out!” 
“It’s not even alive, lovely. Eating from the tail is just more satisfying! It’s less messy too.”  
You tilt your head and raise an eyebrow. “But what if it was alive? Then what would you do then? Also, how is it ‘less’ messy than starting from the head, Minnie?” 
“Because–” He groans before the phone cuts him off. It’s shrill and it catches you off guard for a second as you jump in your place on the couch. You both let the phone ring for a second only to have Seungmin get up to his feet and take the call after a recent event where you were hit with severe disorientation after taking a random call from a wrong number. You just remember rambling to the phone...even though the call had been cut. It was awkwardly weird. 
“I’ll be back. And then I’ll show you exactly why eating from the tail is better.” 
You shrug your shoulders and shoo him off (he didn’t exactly like that because he stuck his tongue out) but you hear his footsteps stumble at a loose floorboard. You huff at his clumsiness and turn to stare at the window, formulating more quarrels to use against your lover in a light-hearted discussion.  
Yet you forget them all when Seungmin comes back with a sour look on his face and his mood tense. He doesn’t say anything as he stalks over to you slowly, but his eyes climb through your features with such desperation that you have a sudden pain of ache in your heart and your fingers quiver on your thighs.  
“Who...who was that on the phone?” You poke, taking his sweet hands into yours. 
“Ah, it was the doctor. They got your tests back.” He sighs looking down at his cup on the table. 
“I see. What did Doctor Jung say?”   
Seungmin stiffly clears his throat and plays with your fingers–a habit that he enforces when he finds himself under stress. “Er–he said that you had some inflammation in your blood tests that were causing your...symptoms.” He winces right after though.  
You go quiet at his words. "Is the inflammation serious?”  
“I’m dunno.  Something about your immune system attacking your own tissues–I think.” Seungmin moves in a little closer and kisses the corner of your lips. “He said that you should go ahead and see a neurologist, lovely.” His pout deepens with the passing moment.  
Exhaling deeply, you take your husband off guard when you punch his chest hard. The way he was acting, you thought that you were going to die! But you would be lying that his solemness for your health didn’t make you feel a little warm inside.  
“I thought it was something much more serious!” 
“But it is serious!” He defends, hiding in the crook of your neck. “I suppose, but I promise you I’ll be fine!” You hold at your pinky for him to take, squirming at the way that he nuzzles his nose. 
Looking at your finger, he glances at you once more before he pretends to bite pinky off. But then he seals the promise off while grumbling about how you two weren't babies anymore. 
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22nd of January 
“Lovely, here’s your medicine for today,” Seungmin says and you mourn miserably and take down the sickly-flavored treatment. Your husband brushes his fingers over your cheeks as the heavy weight of the camera settles into a familiar grip now that he points it in your direction.
Whereas he used to film with it every day, this is the first time in months since he picked it up after having to take care of you after you got diagnosed with Autoimmune Encephalitis which severely affected your brain. Worst of his fears–honestly when you both found out.   
Going to cognitive therapy back home then to a hospital and then back home again on repeat has unquestionably taken up both of your time. 
“Minnie, I hate this so much,” You whine before you look up at the camera and tap it lightly on the lens. “Where did you get this from?” 
He hums and brushes a stray strand of hair from your face, “Hmm a while ago.” 
“Oh. Why’d you bring it out now?”  
“Because I want to try something really quick” Seungmin painfully chuckles, pressing his lips on yours for a second before he grabs the remote next to you and changes the channel. 
“Hey! I was watching that!”  
“Sorry lovely.” He places another kiss that you chase after when he pulls apart. “But don’t you want to dance to our wedding song?” 
“Our...wedding song?” You quietly whisper, hesitantly taking his hand. The doubt in your voice breaks his heart, a sound that has slowly become habitual in his ears. It’s saddening but he can’t stop hurting himself for you.  
“I don’t know if I remember the steps.” 
He grabs your waist pulls you into him and softly sways the both of you. It’s tender and sweet with a note of bittersweetness as you stare at him, carefully watching his pupils tremble and his lips pressing together when he looks down at you. “That’s okay. Just follow me.”  
He clicks play on the remote and throws the device down onto the table, letting the faint melody play out from the speakers. You’re not sure if it’s familiar–you haven’t felt anything so intimate anymore as you dwindle into a tunnel of lost memories. But with your husband right near you, your body sinks into his. Horribly astray from the path of your past, you wonder how to stop your lover from hurting as his eyes brim with unspoken tears that you kiss away. 
The audio is faint through the camera even as the TV picks up its volume and leads into a stunning piece that you wobble and spin to with unsteady feet filled with calluses that you couldn’t recognize.
You want to imagine yourself in that white dress with heels that dig into your skin, with a veil that rocks to the wind as you both recite loving vows. You really do–but it’s opaque in your head even as hard you try to paint an image with colors. Any image that would fill that gap in your brain.  
It’s antagonizing as the camcorder records the melancholy of the dance, of what was supposed to be happy now turned depressing as Seungmin recites his promises of that fateful night and the tears he shed over in a beautiful you while he picks you and twirls you around.  
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7th of Feburary 
The night sky is seemingly apparent filled with stars and the sounds of croaking frogs and chirping crickets are loud and echoing. It’s tranquil yet the moon cries. The camera shows its pearly tears that are luminescent with the glowing sky.  
“I love you,” Seungmin mumbles.  
“I love you too, Minnie...” 
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15th of March 
The doorbell rings and from where you sit at the dining table, you perk up at it as you try to mouth some of the memory exercises that your therapist had given you to practice. Seungmin who was right next to you, helping you along with a small smile, immediately gets up to go answer the door. 
“Hey lovely, there’s someone here to meet you.”  
It takes you a second to register his words, but you curiously look up to find a nervous-looking man standing in the middle of your entryway, staring at you with wide eyes. Seungmin who stands next to him, pushes him along, chastising him for being so bizarre like he’s seeing you for the first time. But the man cannot stop ogling at you with a nostalgic look. 
You wave at him and accidentally nudge the device that was by your arms, which breaks him at of his daze.  
“It’s been a while huh?” Minho trails off and his stomach turns at the way that you glance over at your husband in a feverish glance. He doesn’t think you remember him, remember one of your best friends from high school and it casts a shadow over his eyes that you seem to notice and sigh throbbingly.  
“Uhhh um, I’m so–sorry. I don’t really...I suppose you’re...one of my friends?”  
Minho chuckles and puts down one of your favorite desserts (double chocolate chip cookies) in front of you. “Yeah. I am.” 
“You feel fam–familiar to me? Sorry, I don’t know your name?” You breathe, swallowing deeply when the man looks away at you. You hear his chest stutter, and you feel bad, but you try to listen closely to him when he utters his name. Your husband watches wistfully as you parrot it back to him carefully.
You’re not sure if it’s foreign on your tongue but it brings you great sadness that stabs into your heart with an ever-growing puncture.  
Minho chokes on his stammer at the way that your eyes pool with tears and the wails that you cry in misery.  
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22nd of March 
“Do you wanna tell the camera what we’re dressed up as today?” Seungmin asks, rubbing your hair and cheeks with his thumbs. He’s gentle as he does it and waits patiently for you to answer. You’re blinking up at him slowly as you nod your head and ruffle that animal onesie that you both match in.  
“Uhhh a d–dog?” You say, sweetly grinning up at him when he places a tender kiss on your forehead, staying there and soaking in the moment of it all. His warmth is radiating, and you wrap your hands around him. Your husband then presses his lips to your ring finger where your ring lays, the same ring that you watch glinting in the sunlight as it shimmers at the love that he has for you.  
Your heart seems to beat faster, and you feel yourself dust in a sheet of red that Seungmin makes fun of you of, and he falls back into those mindless squabbles that you both used to share. The ones that he reminiscences of, late at night and beer in hand, flipping through a scrapbook that you made for him for his birthday a long time ago.  
And when you laugh at him, his heart swells at the way that your entertainment hasn’t changed one bit. That you still let your eyes crinkle even though your body was slowly killing you–the truth of it all. And that you’re still yourself, the same person that Seungmin fell in love with all of those years ago when you bumped into him at a small get-together. You’re still his lovely.  
He still loves you with the same amount that he’d always had. In sickness and in health. 
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24th of May 
“Hey, Minnie. Should...should I change out of this?” You’re still in your sweatpants and black top after coming back from the hospital while holding the camcorder in your hand, following your husband’s frantic movement all over the kitchen with a giggle. He emits excitement and happiness, that oozes from the tips of his fingers, akin to a little child. But you can’t exactly blame him for the same feeling of frenzy that runs through your back, making you shiver. 
“Nope! It’s fine! Just hold on a second–oh there it is!”  His hands held a metal knife while half of the cutlery drawer was out on the counter from his search.  
His voice is giddy and strains his throat a little but truly his happiness seems to explode inside of him. A wish that he’d been praying for has finally come true, after being watered with desperate tears and sounds of silent sobs, your body was able to take in the medication without rejecting it.  
It’s a special day as you both elate inside with hope, so much of it that he had an impulse drive to the nearest bakery to buy a big, large cake and to cut it at home with you to celebrate. You both noticed that you were slightly getting better over the past few months and specialists were able to confirm that indeed you were slowly recovering.  
“I’m so proud of you.” He litters your face with butterfly kisses that murmur all what he wanted to say to you and more. It’s needed you realize, and it’s at the way that your skin burns with a mushy feel that melts your guts. And it’s all so much, so warm that you cry into his chest as he holds the trembling knife in your hands, half-way through the cake. 
“Thank you...I love you so much.”  
Your husband doesn’t say anything but move apart just a little and grab a piece of cake, a small piece to shove into your mouth. He then swipes the blue frosting and rubs it on your cheeks, cooling down the red that covers them, flushed at how heavy you blubber nonsensically. You’re so grateful to him and you hope that he knows that.  
“Yeah? Well guess what? I love you more.”   
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18th of August 
The dull lights of the hospital are blurring and depressing as soft murmurs of voices from outside cascade past the room. Seungmin doesn’t know how it’s been since he’s been stuck in this same position, but he doesn’t dare to get up. Earlier your parents were here, and he was in a spot to comfort them over their dear daughter, but he now wonders who is here for him now. He closes his eyes in torturous agony. 
It used to be you who would sit next to him and hold your husband next to your heart, but he supposes that he doesn’t have you anymore. His arms try to cover for yours, but they could never compare to your comfort. What he considered a daydream is now a reality as he watches your chest rise and go down, figure linked up to a bunch of machines monitoring your vitals. You were doing so fine until your body decided to give up again and you both find yourself at step one–all over again. Perhaps even worse.  
Seungmin doesn’t know why he’s recording your sleep and maybe it’s a little creepy, but he just wishes that he could stop time. Just for a second.  
You look peaceful and so, so stunning that it physically rips him apart. The eyebags that crease your eyes are nothing in his eyes and the way that you appear is painless and he knows that this is better for you. An endless sleep. He figures that’s what you deserve. 
He scooches himself a little closer to plant what seems to be one final kiss, right on the corner of your lips. You’re so beautiful. And all fate wanted was to tear you away from his arms. Even though you promised that you would be fine.
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Seungmin thinks that he might have run out of tears as he packs away the last of your stuff in boxes. His fingertips brush over the old recordings in nostalgia and he wishes that he took more videos of you. He feels cold as the last one plays out fully in a loop, and he cannot find it in himself to detach himself away from you. Yet his hand gusts over another tape he doesn’t remember about. He curiously pulls it out to check what it is.  
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Love notes to my Husband <3333 
Soft whispering is in the background before you move into frame, your eyes squint as you stare at the device with a big smile.
“Oh, is this on? Hi Minnie!” You laugh and twinkle your fingers at the camera with eagerness before you cinch your eyebrows together. “Wait if you’re not my husband then don’t watch this...but if you actually are then um...I love you?” Hands tapping on your thighs, you look up at the ceiling to gather your thoughts before you gaze into the camera's lens with a sigh. 
“So actually. I just want to say that I love you Minnie so so so much and that I’m so happy that you actually married me. To be honest, I think that we were soulmates in our past lives and hopefully, we will meet again in our next ones. I am so thankful for you and all you have done for me, Minnie. I really love youuuuuu” You stretch the last syllable out and walk back to the camera, now just crouching in front of it.  
“And remember to keep on smiling!”  
You kiss the side of the camcorder before turning it off.  
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ruggie-bucchisblog · 5 months
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WHAT IS PAST TENSE FOR NAP THIS IS URGENT
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