#ermm platonic intent

[sunnydayaoe]

Soul and mind make me feel a bit sick being tee bee heich

[tiffanylamps]

Hi! I hope you're doing okay. I have questions, ermm

I dont remember which fic of yours it was but there was a moment where Jae Yi and Ji Hwa were ignoring each other and DS found it odd but later on when jy was pouring alcohol for jh, they made eye contact and blushed?! And ds was like "Ah..so thats what it was" IS IT WHAT I THINK IT IS

If so, I think it wud be more adequate if u added more moments!! 🥺/built on their storyline

And also, in one of your analyses, ("How was JW in the one year time skip") you mentioned how it could be possible that JW relied on his one and only family member Hyuk extremely for all his suffrages- and even made a romantic bond... .. .

I got suddenly interested in that ship and- i was wondering if you were writing anything Juwon x Hyeok?? Im srsly so interested and i wanna see how they would be together

Just imagine, hyeok taking care of juwon 🥺

Hey friend, I'm dying from the extremely unnecessary heat wave in the UK at the moment (we've been told to stay indoors lol). But I'm okay, thank you for asking.

I hope all is well with you, as well!

Ah, yes, I was waiting for someone to pick up on this. You're talking about chap 2 of By Desire. I wrote that with the intention of leaving it up to interpretation: it could be a sweet moment between friends or something a bit more (but why would anyone want it to be platonic??? let's be real here). I have a few ideas for these wonderful ladies that I'm going to include but they aren't the main focus of the story, so keep that in mind.

(look at one of my favourite lesbians and her queer gf. Seriously, the only person good enough for either Jae Yi or Ji Hwa is each other. No one else can match up)

Okay!! So, Joo Won and Hyuk. They're a guilty pleasure of mine. I love their dynamic; like, what did Hyuk do to make Joo Won give him puppy eyes and call him "Hyung"?? I love the complications in their history and their relationship. I love that Joo Won is always second-guessing him BUT he trusts Hyuk so much. Joo Won thinks in transactions- he doesn't see the value of genuine bonds and yet... Hyuk is allowed to have drinks with Joo Won, he's allowed in his apartment, he's (sometimes) allowed to touch him; he's also allowed to do Joo Won favours!! That is huge- Joo Won allowing himself to be indebted to anyone!

Hyuk is always trying to force a family dynamic (and the straight agenda onto Joo Won... so funny), which Joo Won rejects (like all the time). Which... okay, I know why Joo Won does that but I'm also allowed to think: what if it were gay? (what if the reason jw doesn't want to see hyuk in a brotherly way is bc of silly complicated feelings that first surfaced when they were younger and only come back once jw's life is burst into flames??? That's an interesting story. I would read that) Joking aside, it's my second favourite ship. There are 10/10 stories out there (even a Joo Won/Kwon Hyuk/Dong Sik one that is SO good). I have written some stuff for Joo Won and Hyuk. I have this big scene that was going to be a part of a (hopefully) future fic (if I ever get round to writing it) but I cut it out because it complicated the story. But I've kept it because it's a great scene and deserves its own storyline.

Hyuk is going to go grey early because of how much he's had to take care of our silly hjw. But he loves being needed and wanted by the Han family, so he'll always be there.

So, tl;dr: yes, I have written some stuff but it's not ready for public viewing... (and may never be)

Thank you for your questions. I'm so grateful for the time you take to speak to me :)

[cryingxdiamonds-blog]

I wanna be more than that...

I’m sorry this is bad lol, I wrote it on my phone in one go. Don’t hate me, I don’t 100% ship them but how could i not lol?

‘There is no point in using the word impossible to describe something that has clearly happened..’ David X Natalie - Pre relationship

I literally don’t know what’s going on! David sighed, plopping himself down on the sofa. ‘You’re being dramatic’! Jason argued, his arms folded. ‘He really isn’t’ Zane said awkwardly in the corner.. ‘Have you not noticed something is going on between them?’ David shot Zane a glare to which Zane put his palms up defensively.

‘She can’t keep eye contact with me, she doesn’t speak to me unless she has to, and I caught her looking at apartments in Chicago!’ David almost yelled, not at anyone in particular but yelling at the room in frustration. The boys exchanged glances. This was the first time David had opened up about the rumours and tension that’s been going on, and they honestly didn’t know how to take it.

‘David...’ Jason said softly ‘Natalie is your assistant, it’s not like she can ignore you, she’s basically with you 24/7?’ David scoffed ‘ha! Yeah that’s probably what’s caused this mess.’

There was a pause. Brains silently ticking over, trying to approach the rare sight of David talking about his emotions with care and precision. Carly sat down next to him and placed her hand on his knee. He tried the best he could to give her a smile of appreciation but barely managed it. ‘David.. Natalie knows how much help you need with everything, she wouldn’t just jet off and leave, she’s your best friend?’ .. ‘Carly.. I’m not worried about loosing my assistant, she’s so much more than an assistant , she’s.. she’s so much more’

‘When is she due back’ Jason asked

‘Like any minute now’ David replied, glancing at his watch. ‘Maybe just talk to her?’ Jason suggested sheepishly. ‘Jason, we’ve slept in the same bed countless times over the past couple of months, we stay up till 4 laughing and watching films despite me changing my vlog schedule so I can have more sleep! There used to be this unspoken thing about like physical contact where it would only be an awkward hug but now, more or less anything goes. Trust me part of me wishes it had stayed the way it was but I’d be lying if I said I wanted to just be her friend. And now she’s finally caught on and let’s just say it’s the reaction I wasn’t exactly hoping for. But do you know what’s worse than being just her friend? Not being her friend at all... loosing her completely, I can’t.. I can’t do that! So the fact she won’t even keep eye contact with me during a coversation before I’ve told her anything, I dread to think what she would do after’

David slumped back down in his seat, physically and mentally defeated. ‘It just sucks you know... I wish I knew it earlier, I wish it happened earlier, back in high school, before the life long friendship thing you know’ he tried to chuckle at the end to make light of the situation, more for everyone else’s benefit than his own. Before anyone could think of some empty comforting words, the sound of a Mercedes could be heard pulling into the drive.

‘Well, I guess the rest of you can witness it for yourself’ David said, motioning towards the door. ‘Errrr okay quick let’s think of a topic or else all of us sitting here in silence staring at the door is gonna seem real weird’ Erin said quickly, looking around the room for inspiration. ‘Ermm, errr, the poscast!’ Heath blurted out. ‘So yeah, Jason, are you going to keep the same length of time and like are you actually going to have guest and..’ Natalie walked through the door during Heath’s babbling, lifting her head and giving a slight wave to acknowledge everyone there.

‘Yeah, David, home depo didn’t have the paint you wanted but I can look online’ she said, not looking at him but walking towards the fridge. David stood up to follow her, ‘Maybe I can drive us to Walmart in a bit’ he suggested, looking at her from across the table. With a slight frown Natalie lifted her eyes to meet his own for a brief moment, before turning on her heels with her bottle of water. ‘Nah it’s okay I’ll pop over in a bit’ she said before sitting next to Jason on the sofa.

‘Well I don’t mind going, I -‘ David was interrupted by Todd swinging in through the door. ‘Hey, Sorry did I miss anything!? You haven’t confessed anything to Natalie yet have you? Todd said with a laugh.

The colour practically drained from David’s face, staring at Todd who frowned in response, until he turned the corner and saw Natalie sitting on the sofa, her head now looking up from her phone. David’s eyes remained on the front door, despite Todd now having moved into the living room, his mouth opening and closing at a loss for words.

For the first time in weeks, Natalie’s eyes remained locked onto David’s features. Her expression was unreadable. Awkwardly looking back and forth between Natalie’s blank stare and David nervously biting his lip, eyes still glued to the door, the others began to make a move towards their belongings.

No one said anything as nothing needed to be said. Zane turned around, the last to leave and gave a sympathetic smile. ‘See you later Dave..’

And then it was just the two of them.

It seemed like forever till someone had said something. David had awkwardly made his way round to the sofa and sat opposite her. He was afraid to look at her face. Would she be angry? Would she be confused? Why hadn’t she asked what Todd was talking about? Did she care??

‘I’m thinking of moving back to Chicago’

It was the 7 words that David had been dreading. He squeezed his eyes shut, towards the ground, trying not to let her see. Clearly he was too late to sort this mess out. He had crossed a line and now had to pay the price.

‘Are you mad?’ She said softly.

‘No’ he managed to croak out, and looked up at her from underneath his brows. She was looking at him intently, if he didn’t know better, he would think she almost looked sad.

‘Why’ he said. Already knowing the answer but needing to hear what she would say anyway. ‘I- I just don’t know if this is right for me anymore..’ Bullshit, David thought, slightly clenching his fist. He wasn’t angry at her, he was angry at himself for being so stupid.

‘It’s probably for the best’

‘Why???’ David questioned, feigning confusion.

Natalie shrugged, unsure of whether to be honest or not.

‘So... what was Todd on about?’

David leant back in the sofa, sighing.

‘Fuck it..’ he mumbled. ‘He was talking about me complaining that you’ve barely looked at me in weeks, avoid me at any point you can, can’t stand near me, let alone sleep in my bed with me. You go to bed early instead of editing with me or binge watching game of thrones. You don’t want to go out driving at night or jump on my bed to wake me up in the morning. You shy away when I go to put my arm around you, you don’t laugh with me like you used to or dance in the kitchen with me at 3am... I just, I - I’m sorry I shouldn’t have gone there’

Immediate regret hit him like a tonne of bricks as it was Natalie’s turn for the colour to drain from her face. He couldn’t tell if she was holding her breath or not and he wasn’t sure if he was either.

‘I’m sorry, I don’t want to upset you, I - Natalie forget I said anything please’ He stood up to make his way over to her but she quickly stood from her own chair and walked in the opposite direction.

It stung. Her walking away from him, not wanting to be near him.

‘David.. what you just described, does that sound like friendship to you?’ She slowly turned to face him.

‘What? Yes it sounds like friendship??’ He was confused, wanting to take steps forward but not wanting her to shy away from him again.

‘That’s not friendship David.. That’s not platonic friendship between a guy and a girl.’

...

‘I don’t want to be friends.’

Her eyes flashes up to him, confusion and hurt starting to form.

‘I want to be more than that.’

...

‘I am more than that, and you know it.’

Taking a couple of strides towards her, he cupped the back of her neck to reach her lips to his. Instinctively, her palms flew up to his chest as he captured her lips with his own only for a moment before he pulled away, looking into her eyes. She didn’t hesitate when guiding his head back down towards her own and kissing him, harder this time. She felt him smile against her lips. It should have been weird but it wasn’t. Her stomach was doing backflips from happiness and excitement as she pulled him against her to fall back onto the sofa. He chuckled, ‘you have no idea how long I’ve waited for this’ he said against her, deepening the kiss. ‘Me too’ she whispered, laughing along with him, both of them with grins plastered on their faces.