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acotarmemes · 6 months ago

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Did Buttmunch make it to the Night Court?

YES! He did and VERY SAFELY!

icons by @copypastus

Since it's @cassianappreciationweek, I also wrote a little ficlet of:

The Adventures of Cassian and Buttmunch

Read on AO3, or below the cut.

"Cassian? Cassian, are you listening to me?"

It tickles. Oh, gods, it tickles.

Cassian squirms a little, tilting his head and wrinkling his nose. He's sure Nesta is saying something terribly important and while the sound of her voice is a symphony of sun and skies, it takes all of his self-control to contain himself.

"Yes, of course! I, the best husband in the world, devote my complete attention to my beloved wife."

"What was I saying?" Nesta deadpans, folding her arms across her chest. She drums her fingers across her bicep, patiently waiting for Cassian's excuse.

Before he can say anything productive, he bursts into a fit of giggled, and bites his lip. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I swear I was listning. But if you could repeat yourself, I would love you forever."

"You'll love me forever even if I don't," she counters without missing a beat. Her eyes trail him up and down, watching him squirm, nearly cross his arms over his chest and decide against it. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing."

Her gaze narrows, and she steps closer. Nesta draws her hands back, and strikes hard and fast, tickling his sides. All is lost—completely lost!

Cassian bursts into laughter. "Mercy, mercy!"

"Not until you—Ah!" Nesta's yelp is sudden and pitched as she jumps back. "What's that?"

From the inside of his vest, a tiny baby bluejay pops its head out, using Cassian's chest hair as a tiny little toupee. It chirps at Nesta happily, then wiggles back into the comfort of Cassian's clothes.

"Well, you see, I wanted to ask how you felt about birds?"

"Cassian!"

He knows it isn't very fair to ask Nesta to keep the baby bird when he's already got the baby bird, but he is the General of the Night Court and battles aren't always won with fairness.

***

"What do bluejays eat?"

Azriel's voice is quieter than the little singing bird. He squats by the makeshift nest, watching the hatchling bury itself in scraps of Cassian's old clothing and hair they definitely didn't just pull out. They wanted to swaddle him in Cassian's scent, what else were they supposed to do?

"I dunno."

"Tamlin didn't give you a list?"

"Well, he did, but I lost it."

Azriel pauses, and looks up at Cassian unimpressed. Of course, Cassian would adopt a baby bird and of course, he would decide to wing it. Pun intended. The shadowsinger sighs, and conjures little shadow tendrils to entertain the chick.

"His name?"

"Buttmunch."

A small smile creeps on Azriel's features. The two of them high five in some inside joke no one else is privy too.

"Want to make a bet?"

Cassian tilts his head, his bun following the motion and going lopsided. It's still too early to be stylish. It's just Azriel, anyway. He cocks a scarred brow, already invested in this brewing game. He doesn't win often, but this time, he will. If it's about Buttmunch, nobody knows his baby as well as he does.

"Gather food. Label them. Whoever's food Buttmuch picks wins."

"Okay, what do I win?"

"Your name goes first. Buttmuch, son of Cassian and Azriel. If you win."

"HELL YEAH!"

***

The meeting is running long.

Cassian leans his cheek into his fist, half-lulling himself to sleep. There's only so much court things he can take. He is a man of action, a do-er, not a talker. His only saving grace is the grumpy little bluejay sitting on Rhysand's shoulder. Buttmunch didn't want to get up. Buttmunch also didn't want to left alone in Cassian's room.

He's in a mood, Cassian had told his brother, but Rhysand insisted that his winged-nephew join him.

The hatchling looks especially angry, trembling a little as he—oops.

"Buttmunch the first! Son of Azriel and Cassian!" Cassian yowls between fits of laughter. He gets up and swoops his little birdy with a grin. "I guess that's meeting adjourned? I'll buy you a new suit. Oh, and I told you so."

"With what money? You owe me from last time I spotted you."

"Sorry, gotta go! Potty training!"

***

The problem with being the most handsome and innovative male in the Night Court is that everyone wants to be him. Cassian rescued Buttmunch, and now Azriel wants one too.

He rushes to the texted location—to where his brother found an egg all by itself on the ground. Cradled in the mud at the banks of swampy water lies Buttmunch's future brother.

"Should we wait for the egg to hatch?"

"I don't know. Buttmunch game ready made."

"Ready—Ready made?"

"Yeah, hatched and chirping and all. He just kinda fell out of a tree."

The two of them stand there, inspecting the egg. Cassian feels little feet scractching at his head as Buttmunch pops out of his bun, joining in the open display of curiosity.

Beside them, the water sloshes. Both Illyrians turn their attention to the murky depths.

"Is that—"

"RUN!"

A giant crocodile bursts out of seemingly nowhere, snapping its jaws at the two idiots invading its nest. Cassian holds onto Buttmuch while running for dear life.

"Sorry, Butt," Cassian says, breathless, once they reach safety. "We'll find you a sibling."

***

The scare by the swamp weighs on Cassian's mind. What if Buttmunch had fallen off? What if Cassian forgot to hold onto him and he'd been eaten? Oh, he'd be inconsolable if he lost his baby chikie.

"You're not a baby anymore. Look how chonky you are. That's teen-bird chonk. That means you're ready to fly," he lectures. "It's for your safety."

"Are we sure he understands?" Feyre squats down to scratch his fuzzy little head. "He is so cute."

"Did you understand your parents when you were born?"

"No. I was a baby."

"Okay, well, Buttmunch is a genius. Look at this." Cassian twirls his finger. "Do the cyclone!"

Right on cue, Buttmunch turns in a circle on the spot. The hatchling chirps and preens at his papa-bat.

"That's it, I'm kidnapping him and keeping him forever."

"You can try, but he's imprinted on me. It's why Tamlin let him live with me instead of releasing him back into the Spring Court forests."

"We'll see when he learns to fly and becomes independent. So, how do we start?"

As one of the last people who learned to fly, Feyre is the perfect teaching assistant to Cassian. The three of them stand on the roof. They try to show Buttmunch to flap his wings, but the chick only tilts his head to the left and to the right in confusion.

"Like this," Cassian takes big leaping steps, flapping his wings in demonstration.

Buttmunch hops after him excitedly, but his wings are tucked firmly at his sides.

"Okay, what if I just pushed him off the roof? His instincts are bound to kick in, right?"

"What if I pushed you off the roof?"

Feyre regards Cassian like he's lost his damn mind. Flying isn't easy and rushing that process isn't going to make Buttmunch successful. She bends down to scoop the tiny bluejay into her hands. He nestles into the warmth of her touch and that gives her an idea.

"Fly," she tells Cassian.

"What?"

"Just fly. Pretend like you're leaving him behind."

Cassian frowns. Abandonment seems… cruel. He looks between Feyre and his munchkin, then steps back off the edge. As soon as he disappears, Buttmunch cries out desperately. Cassian swoops back up into the sky, flapping his wings and keeping a distance between them.

"Go to papa," Feyre tells Buttmunch, extending her arms.

The chick remains focused on Cassian, spreading its little wings and flapping. He tries and tries, trying to lift himself when Feyre decides to give him a little momentum. A little toss up into the air where she can still catch him and there he goes.

"He's flyin'! My baby boy is flyin'!"

Buttmunch's trajectory is a little unsteady, dropping a little as he tries to meet Cassian in the air. Oh, he doesn't seem sure at all, but he's determined. He chirps, chirps, and Cassian likes to say he's announcing his arrival—I'm coming! I'm coming!

Cassian cheers him on and catches him, howling his victory. His Buttmunch is the best, the very best!

***

Flying is freedom.

Flying is boundless.

He can go as far and as wide as he pleases, with nothing to stop him except his own will. Cassian soars through the clouds above Velaris, a fierce blue dart beside him. He twists his body, torpedoing through the white wisps, and the bluejay mimicks his prowess.

The two of them were meant to fly.

Velaris boasts the most beautiful sights, but there is nothing like the endless sky welcoming him and his Buttmunch with open arms.

#hope you guys enjoyed this!#please make sure to go send some love to cassian week!!#cassianweek2024 #acotar memes #acotar tweets #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #tamlin #cassian #eris vanserra #helion #tarquin #nesta archeron

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chimachapterbooks · 10 months ago

Text

A Web of Wood

“This place is crazy," said Gorzan as the group walked down a shadowy jungle path. "I've never seen plants like this before."

"Well, it gives me the creeps," said Worriz. "In case you didn't notice, we're boxed in on every side. We couldn't get off this road if we wanted to."

Worriz was right. Thick tangles of vines surrounded the warriors with broad leaves and dozens of long, sharp thorns on each strand.

The only one who seemed to be enjoying this part of the journey was Rogon's Rhinoceros Legend Beast. He happily trudged along, sniffing leaves as they went.

The friends had saved the Rhinoceros Legend Beast from the Outland Tribes a few days before. Now, the Beast was joining them on their journey. As the heroes continued through the jungle, the great Rhino discovered that the green leaves on the vines tasted really good. So he kept lagging behind to munch on them.

Suddenly, Eris swooped down from above. She had been scouting the path ahead for danger. "Oh, Laval, we've got trouble!" she called.

"What now?" groaned Cragger. "Bats? Scorpions? Pits of flame? Toxic mud creatures forty feet high?"

"I think you have to see it to believe it," said Eris. "Go around the bend. You can't miss it."

Laval and the group did as she said. When they rounded the corner, they stopped and stared. A few of them rubbed their eyes to make sure they weren't seeing things.

Looming in front of them was an enormous Spider Web unlike anything they had ever seen. It was as wide as the jungle path and rose at least sixty feet into the air. But it wasn't made out of Spider silk-it was made out of wood!

The Spiders had meticulously constructed the towering web out of thick tree trunks, locking them together to form an impassable blockade.

"It's a barrier," said Laval, "and I'm not sure how we can get through it."

"Why go through when we can go over?" asked Razar.

"He's right," said Eris. "Razar and I can fly above it. Maybe together we can carry the rest of you, one by one." Laval took a few steps back and peered up at the web.

Yes, it wasn't so high that the Eagle and Raven couldn't make it over. The top part did look kind of strange, though.

In the upper sections of the web, there were rows and rows of smaller tree limbs with sharpened ends. All of them were lined up so that their points faced the sky.

"What do you think, Worriz?" asked Laval.

The Wolf frowned. He didn't know much about Spiders or their webs, but he did know a lot about traps. This thing gave him a bad feeling.

"I think it can't be that easy," Worriz replied. "But if those two want to try it, let 'em. I don't have any better ideas."

Laval looked at Eris and nodded once. She immediately shot up into the sky, soaring toward the top of the web.

Just as she started to pass over it, one of the sharpened tree limbs shot out at her! Eris screeched in surprise and just barely managed to dodge it.

A second one grazed her wing and almost knocked her out of the sky. Shaken, she flew back to the ground.

"Wow," Eris said, shaking her head. "That thing is dangerous!"

Bladvic the Bear opened his sleepy eyes. "Knock it down," he said through a yawn.

"Right, and how do we do that without bringing it down on our heads?" asked Laval.

But the Bear had fallen back to sleep again. Laval didn't bother to wake him. The answer was obvious:

There was no way to bring the web down without risking everyone being crushed. Even trying to carefully take it apart would be risky-one wrong move and the whole thing could crash to the ground.

"Maybe we could dig a tunnel and go underneath it?" suggested Eris.

"It would have to be an awfully huge tunnel," said Cragger. "Rogon's Legend Beast isn't exactly slim... and with the way he's eating those leaves, he's just going to get bigger."

"How about climbing it?" asked Gorzan. "I could go first, since I'm the best climber. Might be a groovy experience."

"Or your last," said Worriz. "What we need is someone who knows all about Spiders and their webs."

"Ha! The thing is simplicity itself!"

Everybody turned around at once. The words had come from Rogon. His whole expression had changed from dull and friendly to confident and brilliant. His eyes gleamed and his mouth curled into a knowing smile.

"Oh, here we go again," sighed Worriz.

Ever since they had freed Rogon's Legend Beast, something odd had been happening. Whenever the Legend Beast got close to Rogon, the young Rhino suddenly went from not too bright to incredibly smart.

But if the Legend Beast wandered away, Rogon would go back to his old self.

"Hey, if he has an idea, I want to hear it," said Laval,

"An idea?" said Rogon. "Why, it's so easy a calf could figure it out."

"Great," said Worriz. "Let's find a calf and ask him, then."

"No, let's give him a chance," said Laval. "Rogon, do you know a way to take the web apart?"

"Naturally," said Rogon. "You can take it apart quite easily... from the other side."

"Well, that's a lot of help," grumbled Worriz. "Got any more good news?"

Rogon chuckled. "Oh, my Wolfish friend, how amusing.

The answer to our problem is obvious to anyone who understands Spider methods of construction. It's all about safe strands, you see."

"Safe strands?" asked Cragger. "What are those?"

Rogon looked over his shoulder, then back at the Crocodile. "Um, I don't know. Is this a test? I didn't know we were having a test today."

"The Legend Beast wandered away again," growled Laval. "Somebody go get him back."

"I'll go," said Worriz.

The Wolf ran off. Most of the leaves near where the team was standing had been eaten, so Worriz guessed the Legend Beast had gone back down the path looking for any he had missed. Sure enough, that was where he found the great creature. It only took a little gentle persuasion to get him heading in the right direction.

Once the Legend Beast was back with the group, Rogon's manner abruptly changed.

"Now, where was I? Oh, yes, safe strands ... When a Spider builds a web, he can't very well make it so that he himself will get stuck when walking on it, right?"

"That makes sense," agreed Laval.

"So, some strands are not sticky," explained Rogon. "They are safe for the Spider to walk on."

"Hey, I see it now," said Gorzan. "There must be some pieces of that web that are safe for us to climb on. Those are the ones the Spiders used when they were building it. If we can figure out which ones they are, we can make it through."

"What about the Legend Beast?" asked Eris. "He can't climb."

"Never fear, my avian ally," said Rogon. "I have ideas about that, too. But first..."

Rogon stood very still and stared at the web for a few minutes. Then he nodded. "Yes. Oh, how interesting, a fine piece of work indeed. There is a precise mathematical pattern to the placement of the pieces. Using that knowledge, I can safely chart our course through the web. Follow me!"

One by one, the travelers started to climb up the giant wooden structure. Rogon patiently led them, moving carefully from tree trunk to tree trunk. Everyone had been warned to do exactly what he did.

“A single misstep," Rogon reminded them, "and we will end up at the bottom of a very large woodpile."

They had made it about halfway through the web when Rogon stopped. "Hmmmm," he said.

"Hmmmm, what?" asked Laval. "Is that a good hmmmm or a bad hmmmm?"

"The pattern has been altered," said Rogon. "They changed something ... let me see ... oh, yes, I see it now, it's ... it's.."

"What?" Laval asked loudly.

"Wow, it's cool up here," Rogon answered. "But how do we get down?"

Laval slapped a hand to his forehead. Cragger would have beaten his head against one of the tree trunks if he knew which ones were safe. Instead, Laval said, "Worriz. Legend Beast. Now."

Grumbling, the Wolf retraced his path and went to find the Legend Beast. Meanwhile, the wait had made Bladvic doze off again. His head started to droop, and he slumped against one of the pieces of the web. Eris spotted what was happening and lunged at him, struggling to lift his head off the tree trunk.

"He hit the wrong piece!" she shouted as the others nearby helped her prop up the Bear.

But it was too late. The web was already starting to teeter. High above, pieces were rocking with enough force to disconnect from one another.

"Let's go!" said Cragger. "What difference does it make how we get over now as long as we make it over?"

"Wait, there's still a chance, if Worriz brings back the Legend Beast," said Laval. "Hang on!"

They could see Worriz in the distance. But the huge Rhino behind him kept stopping to snack on the few leaves he could spot. Worriz looked back in frustration.

Too bad that web doesn't have leaves, the Wolf thought. Hey, wait a minute...

Moving as fast as he could, Worriz raced back and forth down the trail, gathering as many leaves as he could.

Once he had a large armful, he ran back toward the web.

The Legend Beast picked up the scent of his new favorite food and followed.

By the time Worriz reached the web the Legend Beast was close enough for Rogon to become smart again.

"Drop the leaves and get up here," Razar yelled.

"He'll eat them all in a couple of seconds and wander off again," Worriz replied. "We need to keep him close to Rogon."

Arms full of leaves, Worriz somehow managed to climb back up to where he had been. Fortunately, being a Wolf, his nose was sensitive enough to follow the scent of his companions across the right pieces of the web.

"See? It's working!" said Worriz. "He's not wandering away!"

"Indeed," said Rogon. "But it is perhaps too successful of a plan. Look!"

Worriz glanced down. The hungry Legend Beast really wanted the leaves Worriz was carrying and was trying to climb the web himself!

"Go! Go! Go!" Laval yelled at Rogon.

Rogon climbed as fast as he could, his amazing brain able to spot every change in the pattern that the Spiders had built into the web. The others raced along behind him, being careful to step where he stepped even as the web shook all around them.

"Success!" yelled Rogon as he made it safely over to the other side of the web. He climbed down about halfway and then jumped toward the ground, rolling for a long way before coming to a stop. Laval and the rest followed after him, but there was no time to celebrate.

The web was still in danger of collapsing on the Legend Beast.

"Rogon," said Laval, "we need to take this thing down! Can you do it?"

The Rhino nodded and said, "Yes, I see the key. There had to be a way the Spiders could dismantle this, and what they can do, we can do! But we'd better do it fast."

"I know!" cried Laval as one of the tree limbs tumbled off the web, crashing beside him. "Tell us what to do!"

Rogon explained, "Our resident masters of aviation must help us disassemble the ingenious contraption from an elevated level while we un-winged companions assist from our terrestrial positions."

The others looked at him in complete confusion.

"What?!" they cried together.

Rogon smiled. "The spikes at the top only point the other way. They are no longer a threat to our winged allies. Eris and Razar must fly up and drop us the logs one by one."

Quickly, the Eagle and Raven shot up into the sky. But on the other side, the Rhino Legend Beast was becoming very frustrated that he couldn't get to the leaves Worriz was holding. He started to grunt and snort, nudging at the web with his giant horn. The entire web teetered.

"He's going to collapse itl" cried Laval.

Razar called down to Worriz. "My friend, you must keep the Beast distracted while we do our part, or we are all doomed."

"He's right!" exclaimed Eris. "Worriz, run back and forth so the Legend Beast chases after you instead of trying to break through the web. That will give us time to take it apart."

"You want me to do what?" exclaimed Worriz. "Uggh. Fine. But just watch where you're dropping those logs. Remember, I'm the only thing keeping that Beast from bringing down the whole web on top of us all."

Grumbling loudly, Worriz began running back and forth on his side of the web. He held out the leaves in plain sight for the Legend Beast to see.

The plan worked. The Legend Beast chased after him to the right edge of the web ... then to the left... then back again. The ground trembled with its thundering footsteps. But at least it wasn't trying to collapse the web.

Swiftly, Razar and Eris dismantled the tottering contraption piece by piece from the top. Each time they pulled off a new log they would drop it down to their friends below. They followed Rogon's instructions exactly on which pieces to pull out next.

Soon, the heroes were surrounded by piles and piles of wood. But there was no more web.

The Legend Beast happily lumbered over the dismantled branches and began munching on the leaves Worriz was holding.

"That was a close one." Laval breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Rogon. Without you, we would have been goners."

"Hey, what about me?" complained Worriz. "I was the one who got that Legend Beast close enough to keep Rogon smart, and I'm the one who distracted it while you took that giant web apart. Where's my thanks?"

Just then, the Legend Beast sniffed Worriz. The tasty scent of leaves still lingered on the Wolf's fur. The Legend Beast gave Worriz a great big lick.

"It seems you have your thanks, my friend," said Razar.

"Yeah." Laval chuckled. "As long as you smell like those leaves, that Legend Beast won't be wandering away from us anymore."

Worriz groaned as the Legend Beast licked him again. "Some thanks."

Everyone laughed.

#I feel so conflicted about this story because it’s definitely not my favorite cause feels like the dumbest one #but it has some good art and has my favorite art style #and there are some moments I like #I just like these guys interacting more #legends of chima #chima #lego chima #lego legends of chima #for chima #laval the lion #cragger the crocodile #chima laval #eris the eagle #lego chima laval #razar the raven #worriz the wolf #gorzan the gorilla #bladvic the bear #rogon the rhino

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