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stjohnstarling · 10 months ago

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It's pretty well known by now that Fifty Shades of Grey began its life as a Twilight fanfiction called Master of the Universe, a BDSM / No-Vampires AU by Snowqueens Icedragon published between 2009 and 2011 (although its eventual publisher would go on to claim that Fifty Shades was an entirely original novel inspired by MOTU, it's at this point a matter of public record that they are the same work with only superficial alterations.)

Snowqueens Icedragon (the username of Erika Mitchell AKA EL James) was among the biggest of the big name Twilight authors. Although she has managed to scrub most of her fandom presence from the internet, plenty of traces remain.

Because Master of the Universe was removed from fanfiction.net, it's difficult to say exactly how popular it was. I've seen quotes that it had anywhere between twenty and sixty thousand reviews at the time of its removal (though the twenty thousand figure seems to be more commonly cited.) I have heard mention that the fanfiction was popular enough that Stephanie Meyer knew about it, but unfortunately the pages that could have substantiated that claim have been lost to time so I cannot confirm this rumour. (x) According to one account, Snowqueens Icedragon generated over $30 000 auctioning off a story at the charity auction mentioned above. (x)

How did she get that popular? Well, by writing a story as fast as possible and chasing a popular trend, of course! (see, I told you that would come back)

Fifty Shades was part of this. A lot of people here are saying it's ripping off Secretary, but it's not. It's ripping off another really popular Twilight [All Human]-AU called "The Submissive", written by TaraSueMe. [The Submissive] was the first very popular BDSM Twilight fic [...] Whenever a fic reached mega-popularity, there always began a brief spike of fics using those tropes. For instance, there was once a really popular fic about Edward being a tattoo artist (Clipped Wings & Inked Armor), which spawned all kinds of fics about Edward and Bella having tattoos. There were even contests with prizes to see who wrote the best tattoo fic. So basically, The Submissive spawned off tons of BDSM fic. Fifty Shades was one of them. (x)

Fifty Shades of Grey is famously quite a bad novel, and I can personally attest that it lives up to its reputation. It's structureless, frequently contradicts itself, and contains egregious errors of what I can only describe as storytelling logic. It's also clear that it was written very fast.

The way the story handles BDSM and kink reveals a complete lack of knowledge of or interest in either. This makes sense when you consider that the choice of subject matter was purely trend-driven. BDSM fics were currently popular, and she wanted to be popular. The result is a book composed entirely of marketing tactics; a book that is performance to its core.

FSOG got a shitload of [attention]. Ask me how! Well, the short of it: Erika is a marketing professional. The long of it: - Erika made [fics] of already-proven-popular content - Erika posted short updates to the story very frequently, keeping it at the top of the story search list - Since people could give [reviews] for every single chapter/update, the more chapters a story had, the more [reviews] it had FSOG had 80 (edit: was actually 110) chapters. That means that a lot of people actually reviewed that fucking thing EIGHTY times. So even if she had only 100 super loyal readers, that's 8,000 11,000 reviews [...] People see a story with 8,000 reviews and want to click it to see what all the fuss is about. I think it had something like 20,000 reviews when it was pulled down for publishing. Hence, FSOG went viral. (x)

You may by now be sensing the ways in which this model played out in the self-publishing industry, but first I need to talk a little more about fandom and publishing.

At the height of its popularity, Erika Mitchell took down Master of the Universe in preparation for publication of the story through a small press, after editing it to remove explicit references to Twilight and retitling it Fifty Shades of Grey. We all know what happened after that.

This is a practice known as pulling-to-publish, and although Fifty Shades is the most famous example of it, it's far from the only one. What I want to trace for you is the ways the cutthroat dynamics of the Twilight fandom played out in small scale what would become the future of the self-publishing industry.

People have created this entire genre of OOC fics that are not at all in the Twilight universe--basically, romance novels. This genre has led to three epublishing micropresses to spring up for the purpose of republishing these fanworks with the names and locations changed. (Each of these presses is owned and operated by people from the fandom, with the biggest coming from our biggest archive.) So what we've created in our neck of the woods are people using their fanwork to gain a huge audience, then removing the fanwork, filing it, publishing it, and sending cease and desist letters if the fanwork is shared. (The published works are then marketed back to the fandom via author profiles and banner ads on the archives.) (x)

A couple of examples include Beautiful Bastard, originally published as a Twilight fanfiction called The Office, and Gabriel's Inferno, originally published as The University of Edward Mason. Both were among the most popular stories in the fandom, and both ended up being optioned for movie rights (of the two, only Gabriel's Inferno ended up being filmed.)

There are a few reasons not to just celebrate this as an unmitigated win for fandom. Leaving aside anything to do with copyright and fanfiction (which is, again, outside the scope of this post), it was common practice for fanfiction to be beta read by volunteers, who would have donated free labour on the assumption that this was a communal effort and the resulting work would have remained free forever. (x) On top of that, there are at least rumours that this group of former Twilight authors could get quite litigious towards any fans who wanted to read the original fanfiction (note the reference to cease and desist letters in the quote above).

In those days, legal threats against fanfiction by authors like Anne Rice were still fresh in fandom memory, and the practice of pulling-to-publish was seen as "betraying or ignoring what, for many in the community, is the first code of trust between a fan writer and the copyright holder: 'I own nothing'." (x)

I've seen a lot of discussion about whether knocking off tropes and ideas from other fanfiction and then publishing the result for money constitutes plagiarism. (For my two cents, while the behaviour happening here was a betrayal of the community spirit, as far as I can tell none of it rose above the level of how all fiction inspires other fiction, no matter how calculated it was.)

However, I suspect this phenomenon is part of the reason why fandom culture has become so much more suspicious and hostile over the last decade. Given the practice of using the tactics I discussed before to rise through the ranks of the fandom and get millions of hits, which could then be leveraged into a lucrative publishing career, the feeling from the fandom was generally one of having been used.

Erika never looked back. She actually has blocked every single person I still know from fandom on her twitter account. She used the community to get her book (most ideas created by the community itself) to #1 then essentially shut the door on them all. (x)

This attitude is backed up by archived quotes from a chatlog between Erika Mitchell and one of her fellow fans about the publication of Fifty Shades (ellipses original to the quotes):

Erika Mitchell: it’s like the old groucho marx joke which I cant remember about not wanting to belong to a club that you’re a member of… I have to say I do not feel as passionately as you do about the fandom (x)

I have done it as a sort of exercise … to see if I could … and I think I have proven to myself that I can … I now want to capitalize on it... (x)

If you want to read some really good first-hand fanwank about what happened in the Twilight fandom, I highly recommend clicking this link.

Now I don't believe this applies to fanworks-turned-published-novels as a whole or pulling-and-publishing in all contexts, of which there are many wonderful examples, and which is often undertaken with a great deal of respect and care. Nor is it a bad thing to have a little bit of marketing savvy or to factor that into your writing choices. The problem is mainly one of degree.

I want to make more explicit a few of the links I've already drawn. The model of churning out extremely frequent updates on low effort stories capitalizing on popular trends bears an uncanny resemblance to the model that Amazon self-publishing is built around.

It's difficult to overstate the impact of Fifty Shades of Grey. It was in some ways the single event that inaugurated self-publishing as an industry:

To date, the series has sold more than 70 million units worldwide, becoming the fastest-selling paperback of all time (Meeks, 2013). It is the biggest publishing success story since 2005, when the dream-inspired Twilight series propelled Stephenie Meyer to become a New York Times bestselling author almost overnight. (x)

If you need proof of how influential Fifty Shades remains, right now, in February of 2024, more than a decade after Fifty Shades' publication, the #2 self published novel on all of Amazon is a billionaire romance.

It was a seismic event in traditional publishing as well:

The runaway success of Fifty Shades had forced the entire publishing industry to re-evaluate assumptions of what makes books sell. “For years, centuries even, the publishing industry and literary world’s definition of good was the only one that mattered. If we didn’t think something was good, it didn’t get agented, it didn’t get published, bookshops didn’t stock it and it didn’t sell,” he said. “For us, good is often linked to literary style, what we consider the quality of writing and so on. What Fifty Shades – and more widely the whole self-publishing phenomenon of the last four or five years – has proved is that readers can have a completely different definition of good.” (x)

But this is a slight of hand - it isn't about what's good, it's about who can play the game best. The oral fandom history of Fifty Shades' does not paint a picture of a book that simply resonated with people. It instead paints a fanfiction written essentially as a popularity-bid, calculated to capitalize on trends and exploit the architecture of fanfiction.net. Then, once that fanfiction had amassed a gargantuan following, that following was rallied to drive the published version up the Amazon rankings.

She [...] leveraged the community's sense of nostalgia and loyalty, urging everyone to buy the book and give it good ratings, so as to see 'one of their own succeed in the publishing world'. There were multiple campaigns from her friends (tens of thousands of what she only saw herself as 'fans') to blast her Amazon page and send the book up the ranks. It of course worked. Once a (genre fiction) book gets to #1 on Amazon's bestseller list, you're done. Mission accomplished. Book and movie deals to follow. Enjoy your money. (x)

The strategy of rallying a fanbase is, again, not inherently bad by any means, but the particularly mercenary way in which Erika Mitchell and her contemporaries used the fandom for personal gain was received as a violation of trust on such a scale that it fractured the community as a whole:

The CULTURE has become that fanwork is not created for any sort of archival purpose. Most popular fanfics in our fandom are removed from the internet within a few months of finishing. This has meant that readers save the fics as their default, and that they don't read stories in-progress because they're afraid they will be taken down. [...] Plus, anyone who takes her fics down for personal reasons ends up publicly crucified, which, IMO is a direct result of those who've removed their stories in order to sell them back to the fandom. No one trusts anyone to be telling the truth any longer. (x)

You can track the breakup of the fandom through the decline of the charity auction: From raising almost $150 000 in 2010, in 2011 it barely raised over $20 000, then subsequently ended permanently. (x)

Today the biggest player in self publishing is Amazon's Kindle Unlimited program, where people pay $10 a month to have unlimited access to all titles that have opted into the program.

On the authors' side, the way Kindle Unlimited works is that by opting in, you are agreeing to a 90 day exclusivity deal with Amazon (meaning that you won't release your novel on any other storefronts for at least 90 days), and you will be paid by number of pages read (the pay-rate is calculated by mysterious means by Amazon.)

For readers, Kindle Unlimited turns reading novels into an essentially similar experience to that of browsing AO3 or fanfiction.net; you scroll an unlimited buffet of "free" stories and can pick out whatever hits the tropes you like.

Through a combination of Amazon's algorithms, the voraciousness of the reading community, the culture among authors, and the various economic pressures affecting them, the same dynamic persists: release as often as possible + try to copy what's hot right now.

The golden rule is to release a novel a month, a pace that makes it impossible to put any care or craft into your books, or frankly to do anything more than the absolute bare minimum of putting words in an order that gestures towards the right tropes. Kindle Unlimited books as a whole tend toward hastily written, barely-edited slop, written to incorporate the topic of the month. The authors who write novels with attention and craft are swimming against a powerful current.

But this state of affairs is on shaky ground, with payout on a downward trend and the pressure of AI pushing the already impossible speed of the churn to the brink.

(x)

This isn't trendy drinkware we're talking about, it's books. A single good novel can feed a person for a lifetime. I have a great fondness for vintage pulp and trashy fiction, but what's happened in self-publishing right now is on a level far beyond what the pulp writers of yesteryear could possibly have imagined.

Looked at from another perspective, this is equally a story about how the incentives of capitalism tore apart a community. This schism happened along the same timeline as the transition to the social media age, and can be taken almost as a microcosm of what the increasingly predatory economics of the internet did to social life online.

And that's where both readers and authors should be looking: towards mending those community ties, however we can. Maybe that means giving up useless number-chasing if communities can't survive past a certain scale. We could choose to focus on the slow work of developing relationships and trust, creating smaller but more sustainable groups of people who can support one another. Even now, within the hostile infrastructure of the modern internet, I think these things are still just barely possible.

Anyway, that's why you should read my book instead.

Alright, so: I want to explain a little more about this connection between the Twilight fandom, Fifty Shades of Grey, and seemingly, the self-publishing industry as a whole. It's a lot, so I'm going to have to chip away at it a bit at a time, and I think the best place to start is by describing the scene in late 2000s Twilight fandom.

In 2009, Twilight was one of the biggest fandoms in the world, although it was nearly invisible to outsiders because it

Was about a straight couple, while most other fandoms were predominantly gay, and

Was conducted almost entirely on fanfiction.net among a group of people who had little other background in fandom. (x)

That meant for many Twilight fans, Twilight was fandom. It was all they knew, and many had no path out. That also made it a corked champagne bottle with the pressure building.

Because of these community dynamics and the declining quality of the Twilight books themselves, Twilight fanfiction evolved to be mostly AUs so alternate they were more-or-less original romance novels that used Bella and Edward as broad character templates. (x)

Seriously, Twilight fandom got really crazy big for a few years there. It was not totally uncommon to get multi-million clicks on a semi-popular story. It's weird looking back on it and calling it "Twilight fandom" because it was really more like "Romance Novel fandom". For real, for a period there, calling a Twilight fanfic author a 'Twilight fan' would be the ultimate insult. But they never stopped writing about Edward and Bella! It's so weird. (x)

If you were in 2000s era fandom, you're probably aware of the phenomenon of Big Name Fans and the various social-climbing dynamics that happened around them. The Twilight fandom took this social power game another level:

This wasn't even just an author thing. There were Big Name Authors (BNAs) but there were also Big Name Readers. These were basically like... full-time rabid fans of a BNA. They devoted so much of their time to helping out the BNAs, reviewing their chapters, making them fanart, promoting their fics, kissing their asses with cringe-worthy intensity, you name it. Which is why you saw what looked like BNAs having 'employees', such as Moi, tby789's Director of Marketing. (x)

It became apparent that these power games weren't just for fandom clout. The fandom was proving that that social power could be translated into real-world dollars. You see, the Twilight fandom used to organize charity auctions where big name authors would auction off custom fanfiction, and the money generated was substantial:

Mostly authors would auction off stories. So if you donated in my name, I'd write you 10,000 words of porn in my Tattward universe, or something new, etc. That's how it worked. The 2009 auction raised $80,000. The 2010 auction raised $140,000. The 2011 auction raised $20,00. [NOTE: this is likely a typo] (x)

A lot of these dynamics were not unique to the Twilight fandom, but it was the combination that created a perfect storm of opportunism. This would end up changing not just fandom dynamics but the publishing industry as a whole.

#alright here's all of it #under the cut for length #original post #fifty shades liveblog #long post

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have-each-others-six · 5 years ago

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what your favorite musical says about you because i saw a really inaccurate one of these on tiktok and now of course i have to make one

this is way too long and these are so very random so do not take offense none is meant

hamilton: you had a really good or really bad middle school experience and use this musical and the hype around it to either cope or transport yourself back to those days. i want to apologize for the shit you get from other musical fans because you should be able to like what you like. oh also you really like historical fiction and ya novels.

beetlejuice: you really like alternative music but also really specific indie songs and you don’t have a good relationship with your parents and/or you’re on the cusp of a transitional phase in your life. you use fanfiction as escapism and you have really close bonds with a few people rather than a ton of friends who you’re sort of friends with.

six: yes i have a six tumblr. yes that probably informs this response. you have one really good friend who’s also into six and the two of you scream the lyrics and infuriate all of your other friends who don’t get it. you LOVE found family dynamics in media. you’re either attracted to all of the queens or you want them to be your best friends. you had a pet rock in elementary school.

hadestown: you have a record player or you want one. you’re really good at one really niche style of art and everyone’s always impressed when you mention you can do it. your style ranges from ‘medieval peasant’ to ‘lesbian in a ‘90s movie’. you got into the soundtrack with ‘wait for me’ but get sad when it’s the only song anyone knows off of the album. you own at least three vintage pieces of jewelry.

mean girls: you own way too many pairs of sunglasses. you have watched erika henningsen’s broadway.com vlog so many times you’ve memorized it and know all of taylor’s words of the week. you had a really terrible middle school experience but high school was better and you’re really obsessed with christmas. one time you went to new york and said that you were going to move there but as you’ve grown up you’re very against that idea.

dear evan hansen: honey, are you okay? you need someone to constantly remind you to stay hydrated and you’ve converted your closet into a cry space. you said you weren’t gonna download tiktok and then you did and now you spend approximately 113% of your day scrolling through your for you page. you have all of ben platt’s albums downloaded and you also really like ajr. someone will come into your life who loves you, i promise.

wicked: wicked was the first musical you ever saw and your mind was blown so explosively that it forever changed your dna. you hope that one day you will wake up and become idina menzel. you know all the words to every song but you don’t brag about it. you feel like no other musical can really come close to being as game-changing as wicked was, but you also aren’t a gatekeeper.

waitress: you want to be jessie mueller so badly it physically pains you. you were a very gifted child but the education system saw that and then put so much pressure on you that it drummed all the motivation out of your soul. you played ukulele all the fuckin time when you were younger and now that you’re in quarantine you’ve hauled it out again but you only know how to play riptide. ‘she used to be mine’ makes you ugly cry and you love watching all the different versions.

beautiful: the carole king musical: you are also an immense jessie mueller stan and/or abby mueller stan because you probably wouldn’t have found this musical otherwise. you really like to write and you have one good friend who writes with you. you have a hard time advocating for yourself, and you feel like a loner even in large groups. you’re still not sick of carole king’s music after forever of listening to it over and over again.

falsettos: you want to go into politics or law and your parents are strict but loving. anytime anyone brings up chess you want to cry. you are constantly singing andrew rannells’ praises and you love christian borle as a dramatic actor. your crush is in some form of youth government and he’s a skinny white boy. for some reason, you like simplistic interior design, but you couldn’t explain why if anyone asked you.

anything goes: you’re a sutton foster lovebot or you loved american history in school OR you’re the leader of the costuming department at your school. you used to like thoroughly modern millie.

again, take these with a grain of salt

#hamilton #beetlejuice #six #hadestown #mean girls musical #dear evan hansen #wicked #waitress #beautiful the carole king musical #falsettos #anything goes

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transformativeworksandcultures · 4 years ago

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TWC 33: Fan Studies Methodologies

Transformative Works and Cultures, No. 33, Fan Studies Methodologies, edited by Julia E. Largent, Milena Popova, and Elise Vist (June 15, 2020)

Editorial

Julia E. Largent, Milena Popova, and Elise Vist, Toward some fanons of fan studies

Theory

Briony Hannell, Fan studies and/as feminist methodology

Sophie Hansal & Marianne Gunderson, Toward a fannish methodology: Affect as an asset

Milena Popova, Follow the trope: A digital (auto)ethnography for fan studies

Dennis Jansen, Thoughts on an ethical approach to archives in fan studies

Brianna Dym & Casey Fiesler, Ethical and privacy considerations for research using online fandom data

Naomi Jacobs, Interdisciplinary methodologies for the fan studies bricoleur

Christopher Luke Moore, An approach to online fan persona

Suzanne R. Black, Adding a digital dimension to fan studies methodologies

Rukmini Pande, Critique of methodological practices in fan studies

Praxis

Adrienne E. Raw, Rhetorical moves in disclosing fan identity in fandom scholarship

Abby Waysdorf, Placing fandom, studying fans: Modified acafandom in practice

Daisy Pignetti, "She's a fan, but this was supposed to be scientific": Fan misunderstandings and acafan mistakes

CarrieLynn D. Reinhard, Applying Brenda Dervin's sensemaking methodology to fan studies

Ruth Flaherty, Benefits of quantitative and doctrinal methodological approaches to fan studies research

Lies Lanckman, Fans, community, and conflict in the pages of "Picture Play," 1920–38

Erika Ningxin Wang, Brittany Kelley, Ludi Price, & Kristen Schuster, Beyond the multidisciplinary in fan studies: Learning how to talk among disciplines

Symposium

Mandy Rhae Olejnik & Danielle Hart, Exploring a threshold concept framework to fan studies research methodology

Sarah Elizabeth Ader, Negotiating acafandom as a first-time researcher

Maria Alberto, Fan users and platform studies

Shayla Olsen, Methodological model for fictocritical fan fiction as research

Martine Mussies, Autiethnography

Dawn Walls-Thumma, Diving into the lacuna: Fan studies, methodologies, and mending the gaps

Regina Yung Lee, The affective labor of fan studies: A pedagogical problem in two parts

Milena Popova, Fan studies, citation practices, and fannish knowledge production

Interview

Julia E. Largent, Milena Popova, Elise Vist, Interview with Louisa Ellen Stein: Whole self and felt scholarship in fan studies

Review

Lesley Autumn Willard, "Fans and fan cultures: Tourism, consumerism, and social media," by Henrik Linden and Sara Linden

Balaka Basu, "Fanfiction and the author: How fanfic changes popular cultural texts," by Judith Fathallah

#otw #twc #methodologies #fandom

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kuro93 · 7 years ago

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The search for the truth about Ikisatashi (part 3!) - An epic lasted fourteen years ends here and now.

Sooo...I’m here again, and...I’m ready to drop the bomb.

I already did a post about the so-called Ikumi’s interview at Romics on 10th October 2004. You can find it here. But the whole question was still outstanding and I was not satisfied. So, I keep on with my researches for the truth.

I thought that I could find hints on some old Italians websites or forums. Unfortunately, most of them are dead or inaccessible since 2008 or 2009, and it’s impossible to find them on google.

I’m part of the Italian fandom since 2004. Tokyo Mew Mew has always been pretty appreciated here: a lot of websites and forums were born, especially during the years 2004-2006, and a massive amount of fanfictions on Tmm have been written. I thought that, somewhere in the oldest fanfictions I could find hints about the Ikisatashi thing and Kisshu, Pai and Taruto’s brotherhood. I’d like to thank a friend of mine, MewLeemon, that suggested me to do that and helped me on this research. So we went on EFP, Erika’s fanfiction page, the most important and famous Italian fanfiction website (MewLeemon and me posted some fanfictions there, too) and we found Elyon13’s fanfiction, named “Fratelli difficili” (I can translate it as “Troubled brothers” or “Hard brothers”, I think). As you might imagine, this fic is about Kisshu, Pai and Taruto’s “troubled” brotherhood. In the first three chapters, we can find Kisshu calling Pai “fratellone” (big brother) and also the whole story about the adoption is present. Futhermore, Kisshu calls himself “Kish Ikisatashi”, as you can see!

However, the first three chapters, where these information can be found, are all posted in August 2004, BEFORE Ikumi’s interview. If you want to check, you can found them here.

So, let’s go to the next source.

MewLeemon again made me know a pretty useful website, https://web.archive.org, that collects an incredible amount of “metadata captures” of any url, website or domain we’d like to know more, and allows them to be accessible to anyone thanks to its “Wayback Machine”. I have to say that I found something VERY interesting.

The first domain I’ll analyze is http://siria.altervista.org.

Here, the capture dated 07/22/04 (you can find it here) presents Ikisatashi “last name” and says that the aliens are all brothers. It is also stated that Pai is Taruto’s big brother and that Kisshu has been adopted by his family after his parents’ death.

The second domain I found is http://mewmewtime.altervista.org.

In the capture dated 08/03/04 (you can find it here) the characters sections about the aliens state the same things, plus the fact that “Kisshu’s family has been killed by humans”. Emmrh...I don’t know how this can be possible, but...anyway, let’s not think about it.

These sources are all prior to Ikumi’s interview, that I’d like to remind that occurred in 10th October 2004 at Romics. Webmistresses and collaborators of these two websites were active users of the most important Tmm Italian forum at that time, and they all knew each other, sometimes they cooperated in the creation of websites about Tmm.

So, the truth is clear: the whole Ikisatashi thing and the brotherhood HAVE BEEN INVENTED BY THE ITALIAN FANDOM, IN A TIME-FRAME WHICH WENT FROM JULY 2004 TO AUGUST 2004, MORE THAN TWO MONTHS BEFORE THE ACTUAL INTERVIEW. IKISATASHI IS FAKE, THE BROTHERHOOD IS FAKE, KISSHU’S ADOPTION IS FAKE. KISSHU, PAI AND TARUTO ARE NOT BROTHERS OR STEPBROTHERS.

Finally, after fourteen years we have concrete proof and we can put an end to this.

For the sake of the truth, I will be on service, nyaa~!

Thank you all for reading :)

#tokyo mew mew #kisshu #mew mew power #kisshu ikisatashi #tmm #mew mew amiche vincenti #mew mew #pai #taruto #pai ikisatashi #taruto ikisatashi #ikisatashi #the search for the truth about ikisatashi #ikumi mia #mia ikumi

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kinesiologic · 7 years ago

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2017 Reading Challenge: December Update

OK, OK ... It’s not December 31 yet. But - thanks to my amazing parents - I’m heading off tomorrow for an internet-free Christmas vacation. (No computers! No e-mails!) According to my GoodReads account, I read over 80 books in 2017: definitely a personal record, and double my initial goal of 40 books.

The oldest book on your reading list - Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson

The most recent book on your reading list - The Witches of New York by Ami McKay

A book whose title starts with “M” - Me Before You by Jojo Moyes

An audio book - The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown

A book first published the year you were born

A book mentioned in another book - Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling (mentioned in Rituals by Kelley Armstrong, and Heart and Brain by the Awkward Yeti)

A book from the Rory Gilmore Challenge - Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

A book about food that is not a cookbook - In Defence of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto by Michael Pollan

A book that takes place in China - Dragon Springs Road by Janie Chang

A book of fairy tales - Aesop’s Fables (Read them here!)

A political or social commentary - Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein

A book written from a nonhuman perspective - Animal Farm by George Orwell

A book about a major world event - Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed by Jared Diamond

A book with a yellow cover - The Fate of the Tearling by Erika Johansen

A book written by a Noble Laureate - The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling

Book #3 from a series, without reading the earlier books

A book you’re embarrassed to read in public - Fallen by Lauren Kate

A book recommended by a librarian - When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

A book by Agatha Christie - The Mysterious Affair at Styles

An entire series - The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis

The Magician’s Nephew

The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe

The Horse and His Boy

Prince Caspian

The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

The Silver Chair

The Last Battle

A book about an immigrant or refugee - The Complete Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi

A book by an author from a country you’ve never visited - Doppler by Erlend Loe

A book that everyone’s talking about - A Conjuring of Light by V. E. Schwab

A fanfiction - Laying with Monsters by BeansEtc. (Read it here!)

A book written by a Canadian - Rituals by Kelley Armstrong

A classic that’s less than 200 pages - The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

A popular science book - The Soul of an Octopus by Sy Montgomery

A graphic novel - Tokyo Ghoul, Vol. 1 by Sui Ishida

A famous author’s first novel

An autobiography - The Disaster Artist by Greg Sestero and Tom Bissell

A self-improvement book - The Mindfulness in Knitting: Meditations on Craft and Calm by Rachael Matthews

A book about philosophy

An ancient book - The Handbook (The Encheiridion) by Epictetus

A book about a cause you’re passionate about - Why I Am Not a Feminist: A Feminist Manifesto by Jessa Crispin

Book #126 on your Good Reads to-read list

A book of letters - Letters of Note: An Eclectic Collection of Correspondence Deserving of a Wider Audience edited by Shaun Usher

A book with one of the four seasons in the title

A story within a story - A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness

A book with multiple authors - Beowulf by Anonymous(es) and translated by Seamus Heaney

A steampunk novel

Even more books ...

Yalom & Leszcz - Theory and Practice of Group Therapy

Beiling et al - Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy in Groups

Graham - MMPI-2: Assessing Personality and Psychopathology

Morey - Essentials of PAI Assessment

Mapou - Adult Learning Disabilities and ADHD: Research-Informed Assessment

Tuckman - Understand Your Brain, Get More Done: The ADHD Executive Functions Workbook

Grayson - Beating the College Blues

Humble & Kind by Tim McGraw

The Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx

Thin Air: A Ghost Story by Michelle Paver

All the Birds in the Sky by Charlie Jane Anders

Tokyo Ghoul, Vol. 2 by Sui Ishida

The Humans by Matt Haig

Beauty and the Beast by Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve

On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century by Timothy Snyder

The Lavender Lover’s Handbook by Sarah Berringer Bader

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs

The Magna Carta

The Declaration of Independence

The Constitution of the United States of America

Saga, Volume 1 by Brian K. Vaughan

The Tales of Mother Goose by Charles Perrault

Go The F**K To Sleep by Adam Mansbach

Outdoor Safety & Survival by Mike Nash

English Fairy Tales by Joseph Jacob

Saga, Volume 1 by Brian K. Vaughan

Heart and Brain by The Awkward Yeti / Nick Seluk

Heart and Brain: Gut Instincts by The Awkward Yeti / Nick Seluk

Astrophysics for People in a Hurry by Neil deGrasse Tyson

Graceling by Kristin Cashore

The Book of Changes (The I Ching)

Son of a Trickster by Eden Robinson

The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas

A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas

A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas

Heart and Brain: Body Language by The Awkward Yeti / Nick Seluk

The Immortals by Jordanna Max Brodsky

Truth: A Very Short Introduction by Katherine Hawley

Deer Life: A Fairy Tale by Ron Sexsmith

#2017 #goal #read #reading #challenge #book #books #personal

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amarshmallownamedo · 7 years ago

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Book Tag

Thanks @brightbeautifulthings for tagging me. I love these! <3

What is your favorite book of all time?

That’s like asking a mother who her favorite child is. I’ll mention the first few that come to mind, but I can’t say these are my all-time favorites. The Emperor’s Edge by Lindsay Buroker, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by JK Rowling (though I love the whole series), Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, and the Inheritance Cycle by Christopher Paolini.

2. What are you currently reading? The Book of Speculation by Erika Swyler, The Chronicles of Arenacea by SM Lee ( @arenacea), and Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. Yes, I can read more than one book at a time. I need backups for when I forget one! :)

3. Have you ever thought about writing a book? Yup. I can’t remember not wanting to write a book. I wrote my first one when I was 8 years old. Sadly, I can’t find it or remember much about it, except that it was about a horse. I’m currently working on a book that I’ve had in my head for the past 8 years. I finally have the whole plot planned out, and now I just have to get it into words on paper. Writing is hard.

4. What’s your favorite series? See question 1.

5. What is a book you want to read? I am really looking forward to reading The Pregnancy Project by Gaby Rodriguez.

6. What’s in your TBR list? I have a very long list but my top 5 are The Pregnancy Project by Gaby Rodriguez, Exit, Pursued by a Bear by EK Johnston, A King’s Ransom by Sharon Kay Penman, The Female of the Species by Mindy McGinnis, and Return of the King by JRR Tolkien

7. Who are your favourite fictional characters? From The Emperor’s Edge: Sicarius, Books, Amaranthe. From Harry Potter: Luna, Neville, Hagrid. From Inheritance Cycle: Brom, Saphira, Angela. From LOTR: Pippin, Aragorn, Sam. There are so many more I could name...

8. What is your favourite ship? I’ve never really participated in shipping, but I remember when Emperor’s Edge book 4 had just come out and I shipped Maldynado and Yara so hard.

9. Open the first page of the book closest to you and write down the first paragraph. Dan felt like he was going to be sick. --From Asylum by Madeline Roux

10. What’s the first fandom you were in? Inheritance Cycle. At least, that’s the first fandom I can remember actually participating in. All others before that were just me being delighted by books on my own. I wish I could find my IC fanfiction... It’s the only fanfiction I’ve ever written.

Tagging @iwriteido, @sicariusmeansassassin, @swiftreader, @thebookishdragon, @thebookcaseofficial, and seriously? if I didn’t tag you and you see this and want to do it, please do! Just make sure you tag me so I can see your answers! <3

#bookish asks #asks #Questions #q&a #love these #Books #reading #lots of books

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litwitlady · 7 years ago

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Favorite Books 2017 (So Far)

Hey y’all! I’m going to run through all of my favorite books that I’ve read in the first half of the year. My reading has taken a turn into mostly genre fiction.

The Wolf Road by Beth Lewis - We follow one of my favorite female protagonists, Elka, as she’s forced to go on the run from a man she thought she knew. Takes place in post-apocalyptic Canada and skirts the line of adventure story/psychological thriller. Great female friendship, suspense elements, and nature writing.

Signal to Noise by Silvia Moreno-Garcia - Look, I loved this book so hard. My favorite of the year, no doubt. in the 80s, Meche was a teenager growing up in Mexico City with her two best friends. They discovered they could use music to do magic. And that goes about as well as you expect it to. Magical Realism. Great character work. Angsty romance goodness. Super unlikable but fascinating female lead. UGH MY HEART IS STILL BLEEDING.

The Tearling Series by Erika Johansen - So I read the third and final book this year, but I’m recommending the whole series. This is a fantasy story that takes place in the far, far future. Another complex female lead protagonist (can you see a pattern here?). The world building is worth the price of admission, imo. The second book will make your head spin. Doesn’t work for everyone, but I’m in love. The trilogy’s ending made lots of people angry. I smiled so hard I cried. So, lmao. The less you know the better.

Difficult Women by Roxane Gay - The most ‘literary’ title on this list. I love Roxane Gay and would follow her anywhere. This is a hard hitting collection of short stories about women society finds difficult. And Roxane does not hold back. These stories are brutal, but each woman and her story has stayed with me.

The Remnant Chronicles trilogy by Mary E. Pearson - A YA low fantasy romance series that I devoured. The first half of the first book was awful, but the second half is one of the most enjoyable reading experiences I’ve ever had. Basically, a princess is sold into marriage and runs away in desperation. She tries to start over as a regular barmaid. That doesn’t end well, obviously.

Fever Dream by Samanta Schweblin - Do you like batshit bonkers horror fiction? Then read this. A boy and a woman are in a rural hospital. They are unrelated. The woman is telling the boy what she remembers about recent events. The reader is just along for the ride. So fantastic. Best read in one sitting. Go in blind and just let it happen to you!

Jane Steele by Lyndsay Faye - I love Lyndsay Faye and you should read all of her historical fiction. But this is a retelling of Jane Eyre which imagines Jane as a murderess of men who do women wrong. That’s all you need to know.

A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas - Okay, look. I read this whole series this year and the first book is garbage. The third is a letdown. But the second book is worth EVERYTHING. One of the best found family books I’ve read in some time. And great character development for the female lead. Feyre’s story is worth the pain of the first book. But listen, the sex is AWFUL. Just sayin’.

Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia - A love letter to fandom. Eliza is a high school senior who anonymously writes the most popular webcomic on the internet. A new boy moves to town and she soon discovers that he’s the most popular fanfiction author for her comic. This story was my biggest surprise of the year. I cried and laughed and remembered all of the reasons I love online fandom. A great discussion of anxiety and depression as well.

The Refrigerator Monologues by Catherynne M. Valente - You’re probably familiar with the Gail Simone coined ‘women in the refrigerator’ theory. How many stories have we all read where women are murdered to further a man’s development? Valente takes some of the most popular comic book instances of this trope and thinly veils them in original characters who meet in Deadtown to finally tell their stories. The several pages long rant on GrimDark (Batman) was pure gold.

Act Like It by Lucy Parker - Contemporary adult romance that takes place in the London theater scene. Fake romance trope. Poor little rich boy who is perfectly bad and brooding. Lovely theater sweetheart female lead who comes from a darling working class family. Such a delight.

And that’s it!! Hope you find something new to check out on this list.

#booklr #books #reading #favorite books

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joe9cool · 2 years ago

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Collide-Justin Herbert-28

A/N: This is all fanfiction, I do not know The Chargers, or anyone associated with anyone on the team. Also you do not have permission to copy and post anywhere else. Thank you and Buckle up

The more time went on, the more mad Justin was. He had an interview over the phone with a radio station to which Justin had avoided the question when asked about Sara. Then her publicist reached out to him as well as a member asking about signing a NDA. It was too much for Ashley, who handled athletes on a smaller scale. In fact Justin was the first athlete on a big scaler she handled. Her phone was blowing up left and right when the major media companies flooded his publicist.

His photos were everywhere on instagram. The media pages put photos of him and Sara next to each other. Fans were harassing his family and friends. Carly and Isabell as well as his cousins had to lock down or just deactivate their profiles. He had gotten off the phone explaining the situation to his extended family, who were blindsided. Mitch was next, he said there were people outside his hospital asking about Sara and saying they recognized him from photos.

Within minutes Ashley found an article published. 25 things you don't know about Sara Wozniak's new boyfriend Justin Herbert.

The article went into detail about his family with photos and names. It also brought up past relationships.

Taylor's name was mentioned as a rumored relationship.

Justin wanted to break everything around him. This couldn't be happening, he had done so much to protect his private life and now it was blown up for millions of people to see and read about.

He thought about David's words her team controls when they share that information. Especially if she is doing press.

She had a break to do the fashion show. Plus for her new movie. Yeah how convenient this gets published. He thought bitterly.

He remembered when she posted videos of herself on social media when she was at his house. Of course she maintained that she was in a background that wasn't recognizable but it had him wondering.

Once he got home he was going crazy. He kept checking his phone, brushing through all of the notifications on instagram. He saw she didn't even respond back to him. But her fucking team could. It was now late Monday and Justin felt like he had run a mental marathon.

He was pissed as he saw nothing from Sara. He was sure she had a break in between and she couldn't call him.

Eventually his phone rang, but it was only Ashley. He picked up dreading to hear what was next. "Hello?"

"Justin, I managed to get in contact with the man who wrote the article. Jack Lange, he said he was fed all of the information about you and Sara as well as the photos were handed to him to post." There was a pause. "So you're telling me someone from Sara's team went to him voluntarily?"

"Yes. Now I don't want to make accusations. But Justin, one photo was taken directly from Sara's phone." He knew which one she was talking about. The selfie of them kissing on New Year's Eve. Sara was protective of her phone, only she and him knew the password. Justin huffed in disbelief. "So she must have told her team to publish it."

"Does she have anything coming up that she would want any publicity in the press?"

He answered quickly. "Her fashion show, and her movie." He shook his head. He trusted her.

"All we can do is hopefully have this blow over." They hung up and Justin was more upset than originally

He looked around at all of her stuff. Before he knew it he began packing it up.

—------------------------------------------------------------

The universe hated her.

Alex brought her phone back from the hotel while she was in mid scene. It caused her to have a bad set day which meant re-shoots. Despite it being a closed set fans were outside her hotel and by her car asking about Justin.

By the time she got to the hotel it was 3pm Abu dhabi time which meant it was 3 am in Los Angeles. She wanted to throw up upon looking at her phone. It was obvious Justin was pissed.

Erika had called her from back in LA and filled her in before Heidi and the others got to her. She told her about the article and the photos that were leaked from her phone. "Fuck" Sara whispered.

Then it was time to talk to Heidi. Who told her she got in contact with Ashley Justin's manager about signing an NDA which she wasn't pleased about. "Look I appreciate you guys being on top of this, but I don't want anyone to do anything until I talk to Justin. Which will be once he gets up." She looked at the time and saw it was now 5am Los Angeles time. "Just keep me updated." She hung up and began pacing. Once she took a few deep breaths she dialed Justin's number.

After a few rings he picked up. "Baby, I ju-"

"So nice of you to finally get in touch while I was stuck dealing with the fallout." He growled. Ouch. The fallout? "Justin, this isn't some scandal. Our relationship is out. I know that it isn't ideal but."

"It was your plan wasn't it?" That stopped her in her tracks. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Ridiculous? My family is calling me wondering why people are outside their house, following them around. They are in magazine articles. My privacy has been blown up. I've had to dodge cameras outside my own fucking house!" Sara was quiet. She knew it was going to be bad but not this bad. "Justin, you should have texted me or called my management. They would have helped you."

"So you told them about us?" Sara was confused. "What are you getting at? I didn't say anything, they were blindsided by the article as I was. It said it was confirmed by my rep but they never reached out."

He huffed again. "Sure." She was quiet for a few minutes. "Are you seriously saying that I purposely did this?"

"I'm not stupid, I know how this works. It's just so convenient that you have all this going on and there was talk of me coming to the show and it just drops. Let me guess you were planning on ambushing me and taking all of these photos."

Sara was in disbelief. "Justin are you fucking serious? Do you really think that little of me?" Justin was silent. "I don't know what to believe anymore. All of you Hollywood people are the same."

She was mad now. She understood him being upset, but she thought that he'd be able to get past it and they could work on a solution together. But this? Attacking her, accusing her of doing something so vile. Sara didn't know what came over her, her hot-headed ways coming back.

"Justin give me a fucking I'm not a damn I influencer who relies on exposure."

"It's the same fucking thing!" Justin yelled. "You are all the same!"

"You know what? I'm not Hannah Ann. I'm not calling the paps!" Sara was trying to keep her voice low. But then she realized a big mistake.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

She fucked up. "How do you know about her?" He spoke slowly as well and she knew he was on the verge of bubbling over. She was silent. Tears coming to her eyes. "Sara, answer me right now."

"When we were first together. You gave me your phone to look at the script for your Chipotle commercial I went to Instagram and saw your messages." She was crying now.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW!" Justin was pacing his floor. He was so mad he was seeing red. "You went through my private messages? How do I know you didn't leak those?"

"Justin, I just looked. I was so insecure about everything. I would never leak that. Just I didn't do it with the photos" She was desperate now. She wished she was on a plane to Los Angeles right now. "I'm sorry."

"Were you ever going to tell me this? Or were you just going to act like it never happened. Cause if you are insecure imagine how I felt seeing who you were with. How do I know you're not fucking someone right now?"

She was hysterical "I would never do that to you. Just like I knew you wouldn't do that to me. I'm so sorry, please Justin."

"You're nothing but a typical Hollywood attention seeker like everyone else. You know what Sara? I'm sorry I told you I loved you. In fact, I think we should stop seeing each other." Her breath caught. "What?" She squeaked out.

"We're two different people, different worlds. You need someone who likes the spotlight, I can't give you that."

He kept rambling. "Who knows who else you went through. We were moving too fast. I mean I couldn't even get space." Sara was again in disbelief. What on earth was he talking about?

"Justin, how can you say that? I love you and I don't care about the spotlight. Justin please I'll be in Los Angeles in a few days just let me explain."

"Don't bother. I'll have your stuff outside your door. My manager will drop it off, since you just want to go through them. Have a nice fucking life."

The call ended. Sara couldn't breathe. She was sobbing hysterically that her manager Alex busted in. "Sara oh my god. She grabbed her friend/client and made her sit down. Quickly grabbing a water bottle she made Sara take some sips. "What on earth happened?"

Finally after she got her breathing together again she grabbed her phone and dialed Erika.

"Sara? What on earth happened?" She knew her best friend was a mess based on the heavy breathing and shaking voice. "What's going on?"

"Justin broke up with me."

—-------------------------------------------------------------

The past few days were hell for Sara.

She was finally getting on a plane for Los Angeles. Normally this would have excited her. She was getting to go home to see Justin and spend a little time with him before the fashion show. Which he said he was going to attend, but now everything was up in Limbo.

Well she wasn't sure what to think. On the other hand, she thought he just needed space and that he was going to call her. But three days have passed and not a word from him. She tried calling him a few times, but it went once to voice-mail. She didn't bother to leave any.

She spent that night crying over the phone with Erika and Bella, who swore she was going to kill him when she landed.

Another thing was dealing with her family. They had been calling non stop, and she didn't have the energy to deal with them. What was there to say? Yeah I was in a secret relationship for almost seven months but now that's not a thing excuse I just got dumped? Once again, poor Sara, always the bridesmaid never the bride. The only Wozniak sister to not be married.

She would call them once she landed.

The flight was long, and as they got closer to landing she wished it was longer. It was about 6am when her plane landed on the private runway at LAX. Erika was waiting for her instead of Justin and when she came down the stairs she collapsed in her best friends arms. "I'm so sorry Sara" she rubbed her friends back as she sobbed. "I cleaned up your stuff. Ashley, I'm assuming Justin's manager dropped everything off." Erika stated as they got in the car. "How was filming?" Erika treaded lightly as she drove off to Sara's house.

It was hard seeing her best friend this distraught. She wasn't even this upset when her and Harry broke up and that was a longer relationship. "I'm so sorry. He never deserved you. Why the fuck would he even attempt to date a bad bitch like you if he couldn't even handle it?"

Sara managed to crack a small smile so Erika continued. "Seriously? This motherfucker growing a nickleback beard thinks he can do better than you? You gave your heart and soul to him? I mean for real this man couldn't even support your career. You're better off without him." She reached over and grabbed Sara's hand. "He treated you like shit. You deserve so much better."

Sara nodded as tears rolled down her face. "It just fucking hurts."

"I know sweetie, but at least it was only six months. You are still young! Let's get out there and have some fun!" Sara nodded. "Just give me a bit please. I don't want to fall back into clubbing all the time, drinking the pain away. I'm past that." Erika nodded. The rest of the drive was talking about filming and trying to get her mind off the breakup. They pulled up to her house and she saw cars. "Erika, what is this?"

Her best friend smiled. "Well since everyone else is in town for the fashion show we are doing a fuck Men party." Erika unlocked the door to their house and for the first time in a bit Sara genuinely smiled. Bella, AnnSophie, and Sydney were clad in sweatpants. Behind them was a sign that said "Fuck Men" surrounded with balloons. There was a set up of Sara's favorite comfort foods and desserts as well as wine. Sara wanted to cry again out of happiness that her friends managed to do all of this. "Thank you guys!" She tightly hugged each and every one of them. "Oh my god Sara, look at the best part!" Sydney squealed and pointed towards the other wall.

On it was a dart board, Justin's team picture was tapped there. As much as she laughed at it her heart did ache, though she didn't dare show it. Despite the fact that it was a busy week for all of them, she still planned on going to his house to explain herself. She knew him well enough to know that he would be in LA for some time.

As much as the girls did their best for this fuck men party they all knew their friend was putting on a brave face. At one point Bella asked. "So I'm assuming Justin isn't going to the show."

Erika spoke up. "Well the extra ticket I emailed to him was confirmed." Sara's ears perked up. "Really?" Erika nodded. "Yes and that was a couple days after this breakup" the girls all gasped and Sara's heart was beating fast. He was coming, despite it all he would be coming. Maybe this week won't be so bad.

It was late when the girls went to bed. It was nice having them all here. They all laughed and cried and watched bad rom coms before they fell asleep in a big fort in the basement. The next morning was total chaos as they had to be in rehearsal and dress fittings. The Amazon camera crew would be there. So they had to make sure hair and makeup was done. As they all got ready Sara was in a much better mood. She would give Justin his space but the fact that he would be showing up at the show to support her was huge.

Good things were happening.

The girls arrived at the studio, and oh and awed at their outfits. Sara flung through the racks of her outfits she would be modeling. Since Rihanna was performing in the superbowl, they had sports theme clothing and Sara saw a 'Chargers' crop top hoodie with the matching blue bolt thong. She was confused until a stylist came up to her. "Rihanna insisted you wear this since you're dating the QB!" Sara smiled. It would be a big step, and she wanted Justin to see that.

There were skimpy pieces. She would be walking in four programs. As she sat in the chair to do a trial run of hair and makeup she looked over at AnnSophie, who smiled at her. "You're excited for Justin to be here?" Sara nodded. "Yes, it's going to be awkward. But him being here shows me that he is fighting you know?"

"Don't forget he owes you a massive apology. The fact that he thinks that you were behind this. Rip him a new asshole Sara."

She laughed. "Oh I'm gonna give him shit. I can't believe he really thought that. Me? Attention seeking. I do need to apologize though. It was wrong of me to look through his messages like that." AnnSophie laughed. "I mean yeah it was toxic, but you guys were so unstable, and you didn't know anything about his past. So I mean it's whatever."

Once they were done, they went over their routine and the music. Cardi B was performing during certain sections. As Sara walked she was being praised by the runway coach. After reaching the end of the runway and doing her pose she became nervous. Of course all of the seats were empty but the those would be filled with celebrities and camera crews. Not to mention this was going to be live.

After rehearsals she would be sitting down one on one to film her section. She was clad in her fenty robe and chair as the artists where touching up her makeup. A camera crew came over to film with the interviewer. "So Sara how are you feeling? You looked excellent out there." She smiled "nervous for sure. But it's an excited nervous. This is a big deal, and Rihanna and her team have worked so hard to make this a reality. I want to reflect that and make her really proud to see me up there."

"Well she has some really high praise for you." Sara's eyes widened and the interviewer laughed, knowing that the audience was going to eat it up. "Really? Oh my god what did she say?" He laughed. "I can't tell you."

"Please?" "No!" "Ugh" She pouted teasingly and he laughed. "So word on the street is that there is a special guest supporting you tonight" She was confused. Since when did an Amazon camera crewman know? "I have a lot of friends coming out to support me and I feel so blessed." They still persisted. "Someone in particular you're really excited about?"

"I'm excited about everyone!" The camera cut. Knowing they weren't going to get anymore information out of her, they moved to the next model. Sara took a deep breath. See Justin? I could be private she thought.

She had an interview with some of the other models that they shot. It was late when everyone was done, Bella and Sara decided to catch a late dinner while everyone else went back to Sara's place. As they sat down an Italian restaurant. Bella had to say something. "So I heard what AnnSophie told you in the chair earlier."

Sara took a sip of her cocktail. "And?"

"I don't think you should just forgive Justin when you see him. Granted, you were in the wrong for looking at his messages, but he was more in the wrong. Not to mention the way he treated you in the beginning."

Sara looked down at her menu. "Thank you for being supportive. I know you weren't his biggest fan."

"Believe it or not I've grown to like the guy. I just wished you guys communicated your issues about fame. I'm sorry the article got out. Do you have any idea who did it?"

Sara shook her head. "No idea, I haven't actually looked at it. Erika told me it looked like a hack, but I don't know."

"That's just the pictures though, what about what was actually said?" Again Sara shook her head. It sounded like we were being followed. There were photos of Justin taken outside my house in his car. They probably followed us and put two and two together." Bella shook her head. They are always one step ahead of us.

While Bella was placing their order Sara sat there and wondered if Justin was going to the fashion show why didn't he text her? Should she text him? Sara shook those thoughts off and decided that she would message him after the show or before. Let him come to her.

—--------------------------------------------------------- Taylor was exhausted. They were still in playoff season and with the superbowl drawing near and the NFL awards she had a lot of assignments. She was so looking forward to another vacation she desperately needed.

While she was practically falling asleep at her desk, her cubicle partner was on his phone scrolling for the latest updates. Taylor was pretty set for her NFL update show but you never knew if something exciting dropped. The fun part of journalism.

"I see Emmaunel Acho is being an ass again." He huffed as he was looking at his phone. "Oh god what is his hot take now?" Taylor rolled her eyes. "He's attacking Herbert for his private life now. Saying he's a celebrity QB."

Her eyebrows furrowed. "What on earth Is he talking about? Justin is one of the most private guys in the league." Her partner laughed. "Really Taylor? You're the one that keeps up with this gossip. You're constantly on social media!"

"I've just been focusing on NFL news regarding the playoffs. The only news I've heard on the Chargers is that they fired Joe Lombardi. I don't care about thier personal life." It was a lie, but Taylor hadn't been on social media due to news coverage and preparing for the awards.

"Well it was just revealed not too long ago that Herbert is seeing Sara Wozniak." Taylor's face paled. "What? That's probably just a rumor." He shook his head. "No, there are photos and her rep confirmed it. Apparently it's been a thing since July 2022." Taylor got up, she was going to be sick. While the thought did pop up in her head, she really didn't think that Justin would actually date her. Not to mention July? She thought back to that night that he came over to her house after the injury in October. He was there eating, laughing, and even exchanging flirting. It was only when she tried to take it to the bedroom did he suddenly have a conscience?

"That motherfucker." She whispered. While she was mad, truth be told she was impressed that he did manage to land someone like her. But that didn't mean he was allowed to get away with this.

She was going to hurt him the way he had hurt her.

She just had to find a way to get to Sara

—----------------------------------------------------------- Twitter

EmmanuelAcho: for someone who is so private he certainly is embracing the Social Media Quarterback role. Now we see why he took a step back

Twitteruser1: I thought he was with Biscotti, who was he out with? If he is seeing Sara, who is the blonde?

Sarafan: @/saracwozniak Justin is cheating on you sis. Two timing scumbag

Sarafan2: imagine dating Sara Wozniak and two timing her with some old granny

Twitteruser2: city Boys up a million! Always have a main and side ho

Yall know she isn't going to see this. She hasn't been on twitter in weeks

FANS THINK SARA WONZIAK NEW BOYFRIEND IS TWO TIMING HER WITH NFL REPORTER

Sarafan: Taylor Biscotti turned off her Twitter replies.

Tumblr.

Guys I have a thousand messages in my inbox I can't answer. Yes apparently its true Justin is seeing Sara. That's all I know. Idk anything about Taylor, although I will say it makes no sense because of twitter and her seemingly giving confirmation.

Justin Herbert and Sara Wozniak are still trending on social media

Did yall see her reaction to people asking about a special guest supporting her on the fashion show? She was giddy.

Time will tell if we see him there.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------

It was electric, and exciting. Sara understood why her model friends were addicted to this. The lights, the glam, and the fashion. In some weird way, it calmed her nerves. They group took pictures, Rihanna surprised everyone by giving them gifts sets with sentimental items. After speaking with her Sara never felt so confident in herself. As she was wearing her first outfit of the night, a sparkly bra with matching panties and garter belt she was ready and eager to see Justin in the crowd. He still hadn't messaged her anything but she didn't think about it.

Her family had sent her a good luck message and she couldn't help but be a little bitter at the fact that it was always this way since she was a kid. Good luck and see you after the show was their usual response. Her mom did say they would be watching and that they needed to talk and Sara knew what was going to happen, Katie had messaged her with a 'stop ignoring us, you have a lot of explaining to do and moms going crazy on her cruise.'

All Sara messaged in response was that she would explain later. Right now she didn't want to focus on that. She wanted to nail her walks and see Justin after.

"5 minutes! Everyone line up in places." As the girls got into place, stylist for doing the last and final touches. As her hair was being touched up and the designers were picking at her outfits she gave an excited smile to AnnSophie, who would be opening the show. They all heard the cheers of the crowd outside the curtain as the movie introduction was played. Bella turned around and placed both gloved hands on the side of her friend's face. "Breathe Bitch." Sara smiled. "Is that for me or you?" "Both'' the girls giggled. Sara looked down at her 'O' ring on her right hand. Twisting it slightly she smiled at it. Remembering the night he gave it to her. She took a deep breath as she watched AnnSophie walk out on the stage.

One by one she watched the models ahead of her walk up. "Okay when Bella hits the midpoint walk out and keep a steady pace." She nodded and when she saw Bella hit the part she got up and exited to the stage.

The crowd cheered as she stepped out and began walking to the beat of the music. She tried to steal a couple of glances at the audience but she would have no idea where he would be sitting. As she reached the end of the runway she blew a kiss and held it for the photographers. As soon as she turned her back to walk to the set she began to frantically look, she saw AnnSophie and Bella's mom smiling at her and she returned it. But she had no idea where the NFL players would be.

There wasn't any time to think or breathe once backstage because the stylist was already there making her disrobe behind a curtain and putting her in the next set. This would be the football portion, and Rihanna would be singing herself. As she changed and the makeup artists got to work she looked over at Erika "anything on my phone?" She shook her head no with a frown. "Have you seen him?"

"I haven't heard anything so far. He probably will sneak in, just to cause less attention."

As she switched into the Chargers tank, the artist drew a bolt on her face. As quickly as she came in she was rushed out to walk again. The noise became louder as she came out.

Social media was having a field day

Sara showing support for the Chargers!

Maybe they will finally have fans!

Awww so cute! I wonder if he is there

She's such an attention whore, she did this on purpose she leaked her whole relationship like Hanna did. I know Herb isn't happy.

Look at the ring on her finger; it's the Oregon logo.

When Sara posed she did the heart symbol. I hope he sees this she thought as she came back. She laughed at AnnSophie as she was clad in Kansas City Chiefs gear. "I don't know alot about the NFL" her friend admitted

As she was in the back on her break she was dancing with Jordan when 'Rude boy' began playing. Bella and Sara took photos with the others

BellaHadid on Instagram

With the baddest put together by the baddest. Everyone congratulate @/SaraCWozniak on her debut. I love you!

Sara had a few changes before the end. As she did her final walk with the others to close she did one last look with no success.

Once they wrapped up it was time to go to the after party. As she saw everyone hugging friends and family she kept looking. After twenty minutes and more of the room clearing out she went in search and found the stage manager. "Excuse me, do you have the guest list?" She nodded, starstruck that someone was speaking to her so kindly. "Yes I can pull it up."

"Is Justin Herbert confirmed?" She went through her iPad a few times. "It says he accepted his ticket but he hasn't checked in. He was marked as a no show."

Sara shook her head. "He wouldn't do that. Check again."

"Miss Wozniak. He would have been with the NFL section and it was cleared out a while ago. Before the show ended."

"Sara! There you are! We are running late. Your limo with your party is waiting. "Come on, we have to get you ready for the after party!" She let herself be dragged away.

Tears were now streaming down her face as she recognized the all too familiar feeling. Suddenly she was twelve years old and feeling lost watching all of her castmates be congratulated and hugged by friends and family while she had to wait for a text telling her to find a ride.

"Okay Sara- oh my god are you crying! We have to redo your makeup. Oh my god we are running behind now." She pulled her arm out of the stylist and ran off.

Deumoxi

Word on the catwalk is that this A list was stood up by her NFL star boyfriend who didn't show up to this big televised event.

A/N Don’t hate me too much

#Justin Herbert #Alexa writies Collide #NFL imagine #Los Angeles Chargers

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preciousyellowidiot-blog · 8 years ago

Text

Some ramble. Mostly about Kida. I love Kida okay.

First of all, I’m not 100% sure as to why I’m posting this hahaha, but I always like to talk about Durarara!! so here I am again!

Like all my posts actually this is a purely copy pasted with no editing of me annoying my friends with this serie. It is NOT meant to be a professional review or something or be an objective insight of the serie it is purely personal.

Now before you read this does this have salt? WELL YEAH looking at it again personally and since it was meant as me talking one on one with someone, yeah it does have salt.

Salt mostly come from the 2010 and about fandom when the serie was ALL THE RAGE. It has been 7 years. The community is much calmer now I guess.

Now before you read this again...

Is Kida a perfect character? No. Not at all. I could list 12309123 stupid things the kid did, that doesn’t stop him from being my personal fave. I just... talk about the parts I wanna talk about.

Do I hate Izaya? No, though I could talk a lot about fanon Izaya, but I TOTALLY put fan content and interpretation apart from canon. I *LOVE* canon Izaya. Absolutely. I could talk about him too. If this makes me come pass as hating the character, I’m sorry it’s not the case.

I’m 16 and I love Durarara!! and BL why me?! Obviously I’m generalizing, obviously I’m flawed. And I do really like yaoi hahaha. I’m just a person who talks too much about a serie I love and ends up posting it. I think I’m pretty disconnected to the movement of manga/anime community in general, see me as someone who just comes like *pokes head in the room* “Ey guys here’s my insight”.

Are you complaining about the fan content? I won’t hide it, yeah. Am I hypocritical since I do some and consume some? A bit I guess. I’m naturally a canon purist, but really I’m a human being. I’m not white and black. Plenty of times I did the fan thing with friends sharing fanarts and shit. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ If you’ve seen me two years ago I had some shit because I said something about Shizuo x Izaya... and ironically nobody knew I actually like the ship to some extent. Depending of its portrayal I enjoy it plenty. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

In the Durarara!! anime, they kept mostly Kida’s airhead/flirty facade and removed the darker, mature part of him mostly (I mean they kept big parts of it through his inner monologue which I love). I noticed a lot of anime fans think he's pretty stupid and get on their nerves. And I mean he is stupid about things he does don't get me wrong he does a lot of stuff wrong, but there's a depth in character to him that isn't shown.The thing about Kida is that he looks like an idiot, but he's hiding his dominant and threatening facade. So in the second part of the anime, where it is his time to shine and be all badass, he looks just pretty pathetic tbh. (NOT that he must not look pathetic at some point the boy is at the end of his roll)

(I love so many things about the new manga like HOW AOBA LITERALLY SHOWS UP IN KIDA'S CLOTHES.THINKING YOU CAN REPLACE HIM.YOU MOTHERFUKCER.)

Lately I was really happy because since I've had Kida's blog (about two years?) I've had spiked of people sending messages to talk about the serie and what to get out from it, like confusing parts and stuff.

And often I'm like

"W8 like the serie ended in the 2000s you never―"

No because apparently outside BL fanfictions there's nothing very highlighted in what I’ve seen in the fandom on multiple social medias (for example most of whatever I see on Kida is... Mikida, or how much Saki is such a fake girlfriend). Like how can I put it it takes A LAAAAAAARGE PLACE and it makes my eyes open in... surprise I guess. Then again, the serie is known for having an audience like this.

Durarara!! was written off like the Monogatari (IDK why it’s the first example I have) serie of some sort, it was mostly a mystery light novel mixed with slice of life with some sexy mysterious female characters.

At first, young adults were drawn to it by its more down-to-earth theme and also teenagers because of the cool characters and all. Then it grew om popularity somehow with the male characters. Even the author at some point commented how surprising it was for him. So the novels took the initial direction of the mystery story and so did the manga which is extremely close to the novels.

While the anime studio, after the first anime part (which is what made the popularity burst) went "huehuehue let's make money out of fujoshis" and it's only that.I really feel like the second part of Durarara!! where fanon portrayals sometimes eh. "Oh no, Kida is not supposed to be a more matured (compared to his initial maturity) BUT STILL BOYISH and impulsive gang leader in part two who fixed his issues, no he needs to be a dorky shota boy." Me: oh godammit.

I did talk about the anime/manga in the past.

(The French community I was active in really liked mostly the mystery parts with Celty, the yakuzas and Shizuo. Then again I mostly talked to adult males, the younger members had other interests (which weren’t necessarily bad I’m NOT saying omg we were so elitist liking Durarara!! while you guys were watching Naruto it’s just it wasn’t as popular. So there may be just me being shocked at suddenly 360° different insight.) I had awesome talks with them and I still get a lot of great talks on here too!

I take real pride so far I got messages of 14 people to watch the entirety of DRRR!! and 3 to read the novels solely because of my blog? With 3 people who rewatched the serie to focus on Kida and sending me messages about how they now get his character and other characters better?

That's like. To me the ultimate goal? It was entirely unintentional on my part, tbh I just expected salt and shiet like I had back when the serie was more popular and eeeyyy!

I mean. You can’t say you wouldn’t be totally happy for people to say they love the serie you like and your fave because of you..!

A lot of Durarara!! with its deep characters are the subtlety in it (on top of my head I think the Van Gang is the biggest one in it, like how Erika and Walker’s darker side is, JUST LIKE WITH A LOT OF CHARACTERS, shown with comedy which totally turns off the threatening side of it). I will sound mean I guess (but he got enough love to patch a rough part) but Izaya's character is a lot about "I love all humans" and "humans are my peons"... however he's not one of the most interesting character (to me); he's the one clearest to read in its "philosophical edginess", thus why to me he's so popular among the teen viewers (he has a VERY interesting insight in other ways but I believe it is not in the same direction). Izaya is a complex character. But is he most complex than the others? I don’t think so. In my view, his complexity is easier to see at first glance, but that doesn’t mean he’s less complex than others who are harder to ponder upon.

Izaya will say a deep philosophical monologue, like when he convinces in first episode a teenage girl to kill herself (which although it wasn’t in the novel was a very strong and well summarized scene to present him - novels imply things, but showing it in a visual medium is an excellent idea). Somehow in the fandom, a lot of quotes of DRRR!! are with Izaya's philosophy and often tagged as "too real", while the rest of the serie shows not with words but with actions that Izaya's point of view is not that true (the point of the story being "The world isn't as bad as you think" when it's in a yakuza and tragic setting).

Even characters verbally contradict him but of course they're side characters and not the hottest so we'll never quote them in posts uh.

(That's what really hit me when I came to tumblr. I normally watch a lot lot lot lot of things, but after I'm done I move on and don't do anything about it but talk about it to my IRL friends. Meeting internet fandoms was like a huge slap in the face.)

It's not that I don't like him, Izaya is pretty much in an edgy teenage phase and doesn't wnat to get out of it. In the novels he himself state that "I'm forever 2X." and refuses aging. His whole character is about staying in his teens. Young fandom sees it as extremely deep, while really it is quite simple, just that his philosophy, which is what literally every teenager goes through, is somehow put on a pedestal because of his charisma.

The point of Izaya's character is that he's so screwed but so charismatic he swoons teenagers (such as Saki) - if you notice every adult characters take him as a moron and a kid. Izaya plays with teenagers because they're weaker and has a hard time manipulating adults. Which I find in itself both ironic and kind of annoying because his charismatic manipulation works on the fandom like????? They believe him??????? Like talking about his quotes. One of Izaya’s quote is after he got Saki in a coma (and implied sexual abuse and shit by a gang...) and that Kida is pretty much there (14 years old jfc) not knowing what to do and realizing he was deceived.

Izaya tells him "Your guilt will be your past, and that will be your God."

And it is true, for the year Kida spends. When he tries to turn a new page to have a peaceful life with Mikado, he still go see Saki everyday after school and he's so strong to get past his fucked up past that he eventually goes to Saki to formally break up with her. Because now he has a normal life with his childhood friend and is looking for even a new girlfriend (which is Anri who he is genuinely interested in).

Of course Izaya told Saki to plant seeds in Kida's mind, such as her faking to not be able to walk anymore because he wants Kida to still feel guilty or have her say things like "In all girls you'll see me. You'll hug her, kiss her, but you'll always love only me."

Then in the serie, Kyohei tells Kida "If you want to run from your past, fine. But whatever you do, don't run away from your present or worse, your future. No matter how much you try to escape it, you can't get away from what you were part of."

And then in the season finale, that's when Kida says in his inner monologue. "Saki, I'm not afraid anymore; I'll catch up to my past very soon." And then he pretty much goes to kill someone and kill himself in the process.

And I'm like

LITERALLY the whole serie and Kida's arc and Kyohei completely fucks up what Izaya tried to do since the beginning (or try patching up the broken pieces). So why is Izaya's quote "Your guilt will be your past, and that will be your God." is the only one I see in every goddamn post.

I’m not saying what Izaya says is 100% false, but it’s WAY not 100% true. Durarara!! itself shows a grey area everywhere, with tones of being lighter although at first glance it seems darker.

And people talks about Kida like "Bouhou lots of self-deprecation and depression he never forgets his past" and I'm like "what no the whole serie sees him moving on". The whole point of Kida's arc is his recovery even if everything wants to pull him back to where he was before. The only time he re-dives in it's to die so he can protect Anri.

Literally the kid more or less does every first good steps to have a better life and life just shit on him.

After getting manipulated by the only adult he trust during an extremely fragile preteen period, spent all your teenage insecurities into a bloody bludgeoning gang war in Ikebukuro (with fucking preteens, preteens don’t DO THAT) and have your girlfriend beaten (and implied more) and into a coma. Man at 14 I would have fucked up so bad.

And Kida just sits down to his computer and is like "I can have a new life, I must not give up." and invites his best friend to Ikebukuro, the only stable and loving element of his life he has (maybe not thee best thing but ey kid’s 15 now, alone, no guidance, pls I’m lonely Mikado come to me). And then he even finds a new girl to pursue. He goes to his toxic girlfriend who’s totally enamored and obsessed with Izaya and tells her "We're done now." and leaves, even if inside him he still loves her, but he knows it's not good for him. (It ends up with Saki realizing, telling everything Izaya has done, apologizes and Kida being too good for this world and forgives her)

He only comes back into the gang after he heard a gang attacked Anri. And he knows that to protect her from this huge new gang, he has to fight fire with fire and the whole time he's depressed, keep screaming in his head THEY BROUGHT ME BACK... FUCK because he's going to the start since his recovery. But Kida sees Anri has way more important than him, thus why he “sacrifices” himself to keep her innocence, which is why he’s so shocked when it is hinted that Anri is involved in more and ends up with her slapping him. Pretty much he thinks everything he’s done is for nothing and that the one he tried to protect so much was as backstabbing and fucked up as the rest of the people he put his trust into.

THEN OH JOY HE REALIZES THE GANG WHO WAS SAID TO ATTACK ANRI is the gang who attacked Saki (so both girls he liked were screwed by the Blue Squares)

And afterwards his best friend becomes obsessed with the gang world and becomes the leader of the gang who fucked his girlfriend and tried to get Anri. (I mean the members are methods are not the same with Aoba coming back, but it is still the same flag, the same organization, etc.)

BUT HE STILL FIGHTS. That guy needs hugs.

#durarara #drrr #kida masaomi #masaomi kida #OUT OF SCARVES #how da heck do i tag dis #WHICH SMILE IS REAL ; headcanon #HELLO DARKNESS MY OL D FR I END #this is raw me in the nude completely uncensored goods

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