#erected hooker

[alsbrain]

[leafostuff]

Her money dont jiggle jiggle (but her boobs sure do) [FT. Lightsum Nayoung]

Tags: Smut, Quickie, Titjob, Dirty Talk, Hooker!Nayoung, BFH-ish,

Author's Note: Part of @i-am-lifeform24's Project, was supposed to be a standalone smut but I figured that the idea is best for this project and he was kind enough to let me into it late, this counts as my July upload

thank you, and hope you will enjoy this fic

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"So? You are the next customer?"

You gulp, not sure what to say to the beautiful girl in front of you, her clothes resemble the look of a popular college girl: a frilly white lace corset top that revealed her surprisingly cute belly and navel, paired with a denim skirt that left her thighs exposed for you to see.

Meanwhile you were just sitting there, nearvous and shirtless since those were the rules of the club, "Uhh yeah... here's the receipt" you answer, its obvious you are trying your hardest not to stare at her chest while you hand her the recipt, you still a bit surprised that you were convinced by your friends to spend 100$ on this new club, but the premise of real kpop idols being hookers was the nail in the coffin to get you to come.

As the girl finishes scanning the recipt she throws it to the side, "Okay good enough" she says nonchalantly while she gets closer, making you feel nervous by the second, and you are not the only one as just a look from her toward your pants causing her cleavage to displayed to you forms an erection, rolling her eyes she says in a tired voice, "whatever, let's get this over”

One swift motion and her top is thrown to the side, wearing no bra as instead her breast reveal their true form to you, almost freeze in place from the spectacle in front of you, however no time to waste about admiring them as she goes in to straddle your lap while her hands now work on taking off your belt from your own jeans, giving you a little wink during the process.

After what feels an eternity (Or maybe that girl is really into strip teasing you) your cock is finally released from your pants, standing long and hard in front of her eyes, “Not bad…not bad” she quietly mutters as she hops off your lap and kneels in front of you, “you mind if i…” she asks.

“Uh…sure?” you are a bit surprised that a hooker asks you in the first place considering how she didn't ask for your opinion when she straddled you and took your pants off, but regardless she laughs at your response while she lowers herself toward you.

However you didn't expect her to grab her tits with both hands and let them envelope around your member, her eyes lock into yours with a big grin as she begins her work, rubbing her chest up and down on your cock, each up causes her tits to fully hide your tip while each down she lightly slams her chest onto your thighs while her lips lean in closer giving your mow exposed tip a small kiss, sending tingles to your brain that make your moans to grow larger in response.

“Oh i love how you are so nearvous, it's adorable” she says, eyes still on you meanwhile you are looking at the ceiling, “And how you are so hard for me even though i am just getting started” she adds, try to look down at her but your vision is now blurry from the amount of pleasure you receive from her

“Nngh” is the only thing you manage to mutter as the rest of your attempted sounds turn into unintelligible moans, meanwhile your hands hold the fabric of the sofa you are on, each movement of hers drives you insane while she can't help but giggle.

“I can't wait for you to release all of that cum in there all over my tits, just let yourself loose while i will drain you from all of that cum” Her dirty talk is deadly while her pace is getting quicker and her smile grows wider at each rock

“Yes yes yes, come on i can feel it on your balls, release it, you know you want it,~”

And that's the final blow for you and as an expert at her job she knows it, so just as you are about to cum she lets her lips latch themselves into your tip and as strings of cum flows into her mouth you could feel yourself getting relieved by the second.

Finally she releases her mouth from you while she rises up from the position, “Oh wow, that was… *sigh* surprisingly fun” she says, catching her breath while she cleans some leftover cum from her face and tits, some of it she takes with two fingers and puts inside her mouth while she beams a smile at you with a confident wink

Look at the time, you could swear that an eternity passed from the moment she started pleasuring you but in reality it's only been 15 minutes, and it seems those 15 minutes were not enough for her.

“So… I have some time left before my next customer and usually I would have kicked you out to get ready but…” she stops, giving you time to finally gain your composure and look at her again, now taking her hands work on taking her denim skirt and hot pink panties off her body, now leaving herself fully naked in front of you.

“Since you are kinda cute and VERY big, I don't mind having some more fun, so what do you say?”

She asks, once again she straddles your lap but this time her back is facing toward you leaving her ass in full display in front of you only centimetres away from your cock getting inside, meanwhile both her hands grab yours, taking them toward body as she leaves each of you palm at her naked chest as by instinct you let your hands grab each tit.

“Ready for the real fun?” She looks back, another wink coming at you as it seems almost aphrodisiac how her winks get your member hard again.

=================================

Posted at July 14th, 2024

[zweiginator]

I beg of you …. Please could we get some more divorcee dilf! Patrick and the cute waitress

dilf patrick help us all<3 cw: age gap, use of 'daddy'

him visiting you at work and he sees a guy flirting with you. he's about your age and he's attractive and it throws patrick off because it kind of looks like you're flirting back.

you being kind of bratty because patrick isn't your boyfriend and you've never explicitly defined anything; he got divorced not even a year ago for god's sake. but you smirk because patrick's an older man and you're making him jealous. jealous enough to shake his head at you and walk right out of the restaurant after you tell him you're a waitress--you kind of have to be flirty for tips.

you follow him out.

"as if you don't know i'd pay all of your fucking bills." he throws a few hundred dollar bills at you.

"i'm not a fucking hooker patrick."

"no, you're not. when did i say you were? take the fucking money."

you scoff. watch as the bills flutter against the wet pavement.

"you don't get to buy my affection."

patrick opens his car door. pulls you inside.

"i'll give you money. and you won't flirt with other dudes. and you'll fuck me because you want to. not because you have to." he holds your jaw tight, and the necklace he's wearing dangles over your face.

you smile, but it's bratty. disobedient. he can see that fucking glint in your eye, evil, menacing.

you spread your legs, revealing your panties under your skirt.

"since you wanna pay for it, then use it how you want to, daddy." you give him faux puppy dog eyes, jut your lip out in a facetious little pout. your fingers spread your pussy open and patrick unbuckles his belt.

"you're a fucking brat." he struggles with his zipper but then it comes undone and he pulls his cock out, half-hard. you're working him up. "maybe i should make you work for this fucking money." he pulls you closer to him, rests your legs on his shoulder.

and then he slaps your pussy. pushes his erection inside you without so much as a warning. just a firm grasp on the base of his cock, his other hand holding your legs wide, wide open for him. you’d always open them. the glass is fogging up and it's clear what you're doing in patrick's backseat but you don't care.

"dirty old man has to pay for pussy. how fucking sad."

he grabs your face, spits in it. "your legs are spread, aren't they? spread real fuckin' wide for daddy to plow into this tight little pussy."

you roll your eyes, but it's hard to contain your whimpers when he's hitting that special spot inside you. patrick can tell.

"tell me how good it feels. nobody else’s fucking cock can fill you up this good.”

and patrick smirks; you can’t seem to utter anything other than a high-pitched “fuck—“. just white knuckles gripping onto leather seats, your sock-clad feet bouncing off patrick’s shoulders.

[sweettofuki]

You were making out with Hoshina when he wants to take it further. 18+ Hoshina x f!reader mature content ahead! Slight jealousy

Hands were everywhere, a frenzy of movement as you couldn’t decide where to place them. All you knew was that you needed to get closer, deeper into your Vice-Captain’s mouth.

Everyone knew that you and Hoshina were dating, so it wasn’t unusual to see you wandering down the corridor to his room late at night.

Before you knew it, simple conversations about our day turned into cuddling, and cuddling led to you on top of him, making out passionately.

“This outfit is driving me insane. Did you really have to wear it? What if other guys caught you walking to my room in it?” Hoshina said, his voice frantic.

“Baby, don’t make it sound like I was dressed like a hooker. It’s just a tank top and sweatpants. Relax.” you replied, rolled your eyes playfully.

“Don’t tell me to relax when you basically are?? Do you know how sexy you look right now? Your pants are at your waist, your top is so low-cut that your boobs are spilling out, and oh yeah. You’re not wearing a bra?” he exclaimed.

“Why? Don’t you like them without a bra?” you pout at him, looking up with doe eyes.

“Well, yeah but—” Hoshina’s words were abruptly cut off by a groan.

A sudden jolt of pleasure coursed through him as he looked down, watching you grind your hips against his crotch. Seizing the moment, you pressed your lips back onto his.

“Mmm…” he moaned against your soft lips, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. “Ya lips taste like heaven...”

He gently brushes the hair away from your face and tucks the strands behind your ears

What started as pecks on his lips soon evolved into soft kisses, growing more passionate as each kiss lingered longer and longer.

The harder he kisses you, the tighter his grip on your hips, as if squeezing your waist could keep him grounded. Slowly, his hands trail from your hips to the hem of your pants, slipping them off you until you’re left in your black thongs.

His fingers slide under the delicate fabric. You felt a shiver tingled down your spine as you felt a brush of his fingers on your asshole. He played off groping your ass as if the perfectly placed finger was an accident. Curse his slender, long fingers! (not)

With a firmer grip, he pulls the thin fabric on either side of your waist, the friction of your skimpy excuse of an underwear against your folds made your nipples harden, which he felt through your tank top.

“Fuck baby, I take it all back. You should definitely wear this more often when you come to see me. I can fight,” Hoshina said.

You let out a small giggle as his face lit up with a smile. He’s so sick in love with you that your light laughter sounded like melodies to his ear. He pulled you back into a passionate kiss, the intensity of it making your heart race.

The heat of the passionate kiss clouded his mind, and before he knew it, he was rolling his hips into you. The feeling of his hard cock pressing against your sensitive clit through the thin material earned a loud moan out of you. He groaned deeply, finally releasing some of the pent-up pressure in him, pre-cum leaking out of his tip. Any longer, and he would have come in his pants.

“I’m sorry doll. I can’t take it any longer. I need to be inside ya,” he whined, he could barely keep it together.

He spreads your leg by the knees from below. He took off his military cargo pants with an obvious tent at his groin. His erection springs out, standing with precum oozing out. He taps his flushed tip at your entrance, before pushing it in slowly. Your eyes roll up as he stretches you out. When his cock was pushed to the hilt, his hips started to move.

[’’’]

In the next moment, both of your clothes found purchased next to each other on the floor.

You rolled your hips as you rode his length, eyes trained onto the sight of his girth desperately swallowed into your greedy tight cunt. It must have been three… five orgasms? You couldn’t keep track, but you were still going at it. Your eyelids drooped like curtains, hands pressing against his chest as you lifted yourself, back arching while you bounced on his cock. Teeth sank into his bottom lip as both you and Hoshina panted heavily, his groans sound sinful to listen to.

His hair was disheveled, eyes closed in concentration as he tried not to come inside you again. He desperately fought to hold himself back, but the way your warm pussy walls hugged his dick and his overly sensitive tip nudged your cervix relentlessly made it impossible. He couldn’t help but feel that knot twisting itself loose in his stomach.

“I’m…fuck….I’m sorry baby. I’m gonna move you, okay?” he groaned

Too fucked out to fully comprehend his words, you felt his strong grip on the flesh of your ass. His feet dug into the bed as he lifted his hips.

For a split second, you welcomed the well-needed rest, letting your upper body fall onto his chest, your palms laid flat on his pecs.

It didn’t last long. He began rutting into you wildly, his hips pounding against you and hitting all your sweet spots with vigorous precision. His biceps bulged as he held you up.

“A-AH, mmm…fuck,” you whined. “Slow down, Hoshina, please!”

“Hah…I know you can take it. Mmmph…Just hold onto me, yeah? Let me do all the work, you just relax. You’re doing so well for me baby,” he cooed.

His cock rammed into your swollen cervix vigorously, continuously, and consecutively…

You couldn’t think of any other words to describe how hard and fast he was pounding into you at that moment.

“Good girl. You’re hah holding up well— mmmph Wanna feel you come around me,” he grunted.

Your breath came out in shaky gasps. He could tell you were close just by the way your walls clenched tight around him. Your breath hitched with his every brutal thrust, and you creamed around the base of his shaft, mixing in with previous fluids. His heavy balls, coated in a mix of saliva, his and your cum, slapped loudly and vulgarly against your ass.

“Shit….! No matter how many times I watch—fuck— you cum on my cock, you look so fucking hot every time,” he smirked up at you in a teasing manner, barely holding it in himself as well.

A deep groan rumbled in his chest, resonating through you.

“I-I’m close too.” he muttered into your hair.

With a few more powerful thrusts, fucking through his own orgasm, staining your walls with his cum.

With his softening cock still inside you, he collapsed, his arms instinctively wrapping around you.

“Are you okay, baby? Was I too rough?” He whispered, placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“My abdomen hurts, Soshiro,” you groaned, burying your head into his shoulder.

Upon hearing that, he began to tenderly rub your lower abdomen as his eyes filled with worry.

“I’m so sorry, baby. You just felt so good that I lost control,” he said, rubbing his hand over your back in comfort. “I promise I will be gentler next time,”

“It’s okay, baby. You felt incredible too. I just won’t be getting up in a while.” you reassured him.

“Damn, I was that good huh?” he teased, a playful grin spreading across his face.

You slapped his cheek lightly, causing him to laugh.

“Careful, sweetheart. Any harder and you’re gonna make me hard again,” he smirked at you through his tousled bangs.

[beatrixstonehill2]

Violet started the stream by dancing as usual, smiling naughtily, ready to share the good news. "Hey guys, guess who's officially detransing? I know, I can hardly believe it myself but I'm really doing it! I've done my share of teasing that I was thinking about it but lots of trans girl influencers do that to keep our followers happy and horny because soooo many guys follow us just in the hopes that we'll detrans. I love the thought that you guys watch my vids and bust a nut thinking about me going on testosterone, getting facial hair, and growing out my cock. Speaking of which." Violet lifted her skirt and flaunted her eight-inch cock, stroking it with one hand. "It's so big already. I went off estrogen two months ago and started dick growth pills. I've gone up like four inches! Now I'm ready for the real thing."

Violet grabbed a small case from off screen and opened it. There was a syringe and a few vials of testosterone. She eagerly took the syringe and started filling it as she explained, "I see your comments on my vids. I can post totally normal vids of me at home relaxing, or playing tennis, or jogging, and instead of the comments all being about how hot I am or how how much they love the big bouncy fake titties daddy bought me, so naughty boys make horny comments like, 'When are you detransing?' or 'Ever consider detransitioning? I think you'd love being a guy,' or 'I'd love to see you go on testosterone, why haven't you yet?' orrrr 'So and so just started detransing, you should follow them and ask for advice. We're all rooting for you!' And believe me, I always follow them and DM them about why they're detransing. A lot do it from peer pressure because so many of our fans want us to, others do it for their boyfriends, some do it just to try it out. Some of the presttiest girls I've ever seen, too, with huge boobs, bubble butts, and gorgeous faces all becoming big hairy men with huge cocks, a lot of them wind up getting really fat, too. I could see myself becoming a really fat guy honestly, couldn't you? Sitting at home eating fast food, jerking off to pretty girls like I used to be, my big beer gut jiggling as I stroke my cock.... I think I could get used to that!

I think I'm definitely in the camp that's detransing out of curiosity. Like I just want to see what I'll look like as a man. How do you guys picture me? Let me know below, I'd be curious how many of you agree that I'll wind up as a really fat guy. My parents would get a kick out of seeing me become a boy just to wind up getting super obese. Not that I'm gonna force it.... OK, maybe I will a little bit. I do hope daddy isn't too crushed that the beautiful implants he bought me will need to be yanked out and tossed in the trash. Or maybe I'll keep them as a memento, along with a collage of pictures of me in sexy outfits, so the hookers I bring home to pity fuck my big fat hairy body can look at them and wonder how I ever let myself go so bad!" Violet flicked the syringe, lifted her skirt, and injected her hip with testosterone. She bit her lip, rolling back her eyes as her erect cock shot several thick ropes of cum, hands free. "Fuckkkkk, guess my body really, really wants to detrans in a hurry! I better go call my doctor and get these implants out, if they look this silly on my male body now imagine how silly they'll look in another month or too when you can really tell I'm a guy. Well, you could always tell I'm a boy, I never passed very well at all, right boys? ;) As for me, I'm gonna get a big lunch to celebrate. I'm a growing guy, I have a lot of catching up to do if I'm gonna wind up as fat as I'm imagining I'll get!"

[fakegirlsophie-mtftm]

Hey fakegirls, remember those misogynistic fantasies you had about "sissy school"? When you dreamed about learning how to be "feminine" ie wearing cringy pink outfits, sucking cock, cooking and being submissive? How that would have been far easier to have some institution forcing you to transition while still being a fetishist?

May i present to you with the closest you'll ever get soon irl? ☺️

🎀 Living in an anti-trans police state 🎀

You're minding your own business at the mall, you're the clockiest you've ever been without even realising, everyone is seeing past the disguise and giving you the side eye. Some even called the cops on you and before you know it you're handcuffed and dragged into a van.

They're absolutely rough with you, beating you up 5v1 with batons, one even gives a lil taser shock at some point 🥵 Your face, your belly, your legs, your semi-erect penis, everything hurts. It feels like hours until you finally get to the police station. They got you a proper welcoming party, all the cops are there, most laughing, some clapping, a few giving you death stares.

They ask you to strip. You refuse. One of them draws a gun. You accept. 🥰

They start groping you during your little show and end up pining you down and do to you everything you ever dreaming of as a sissy, without the consent part.

They dress you back up in some hooker clothes they had laying there and give you a buzzcut before throwing you in the male cells.

"You're going to stay in there for a while..."

The cop hands a knife through the bars to one of the inmates.

"...Until they get bored at least."

---

This sounds way more likely to happen than your disgusting sexist fantasies, doesn't it? ♥️ It's coming soon to your failing democracy, enjoy 🎀

[fortheloveofwonderland]

But it’s Better if You Do | SR x Fem! Reader

Summary - the Blue Siren strip club is the last place Spencer Reid wants to spend his birthday. And the absolute last thing he needs is to fall for you, the magnetic exotic dancer who Morgan and Luke pay to give him a birthday dance.

A/N - as a rule, I am not technically writing Spencer x Reader right now but this is for @imagining-in-the-margins damsel in distress challenge although it’s a very vague fit. Kind of anti damsel in distress? I don’t know, let’s just roll with it. Candy Shop by 50 Cent is the song used in Magic Mike XXL when Adam Rodriguez does his lil sexy dance so the song choice was an homage to that. Loosely based around the Panic at the Disco song “But it’s Better if You Do.”

Pairing - Spencer Reid x Exotic Dancer Fem! Reader

Category - fluff I suppose? Maybe mild angst. Happy ending.

CW - exotic dancer reader, Morgan and Luke are bad wingmen, hints at lesbian Emily, strip clubs, snarky Spencer, drinking, swearing, Spencer and his inappropriate erection, brief mentions of masturbation, making out.

WC - 8.2k

Oh, isn't this exactly where you'd like me?

I'm exactly where you'd like me, you know.

Praying for love and a lap dance,

And paying in naivety.

The last place Spencer Reid ever expected to find himself on his fortieth birthday was at the Blue Siren Club just off of Dupont Circle. For starters, Spencer wasn’t a big drinker so going to a bar didn’t appeal to him on any other given night, let alone his birthday, but there was much more to the Blue Siren than just being your run of the mill club.

The Blue Siren was well known as being one of the most reputable strip clubs in the district. According to the extensive research Spencer had done when he found out he was to be coming here, it was one of the more exclusive clubs, and if Morgan was to be believed it was popular among law enforcement and other government officials due to its clandestine nature.

From the outside, the Blue Siren looked just like a normal club. If you were to pass it by you may not even glance up at the exposed brick facade and black front door. In the lone window in the front sat a small blue neon sign boosting the club's name and that was all. You wouldn’t be alone in walking right past the establishment without batting an eyelid. 

When Luke had suggested the idea to spend his birthday here, Spencer’s immediate reaction had been laughter, because it had to be a joke, right? Strip clubs and Spencer Reid were not a combination anyone who knew him would put together, surely? 

“Why are you laughing?” Luke frowned at him, folding his arms across his chest. 

“Because you’re making a joke?” 

“No, I’m not.” 

“You’re not?” Spencer’s laughter came to a sudden halt and he stared at Luke in disbelief. “You…you seriously think that’s how I want to spend my birthday?” 

“I was talking to Morgan and-“

“No sentence in the history of the English language that starts with “I was talking to Morgan” has ever had a happy ending.” Spencer scoffed. 

“It’s the happy ending part we’re trying to achieve.” Luke smirked at him, a playful hint in his eye that caused Spencer to swallow thickly at the implication. 

“Y-you…I…” 

“When was the last time you got laid, Reid?” 

Spencer felt the moment his cheeks burnt with an intense embarrassment. In all the years he’d known Luke they had never once discussed their sex lives. In fact, Spencer made it a rule to never discuss his sex life with anyone. 

“That’s a deeply personal question.” He shrunk in on himself. 

“Which is Spencer Reid for, it’s been a while.” Luke smiled knowingly. 

“I…I don’t have to answer that.” 

“You kinda just did.” 

“Regardless,” Spencer shook his head, trying to steer the conversation off of his sex life, or lack thereof. “Strip clubs aren’t brothels. The women don’t sleep with their customers.”

“Morgan and I decided it was slightly more appropriate than buying you a hooker.” 

If Spencer thought he was embarrassed before, he was now absolutely mortified. 

“I don’t need help getting “laid”, as you so eloquently put it.” Spencer shook his head, turning back to his desk and sorting through some papers to distract himself.

“Don’t you?” An amused voice came from behind him and Spencer groaned, running his hands through his hair. He turned slowly in his chair to see Emily standing over him, an almost delighted look in her eyes. “What are we talking about?”

“Morgan and I want to take Reid to Blue Siren for his birthday next week.” Luke filled her in.

“Oh that place is great!” She beamed. “Can I come?”

“Where are we going?” Rossi seemingly appeared as if from nowhere with his coffee and newspaper. 

Spencer grumbled, face palming his hand as the group around him gathered.

“We’re taking Spence to Blue Siren for his birthday.” Emily happily told him.

“Blue Siren? Huh,” Rossi nodded his head. “I haven’t been there for years, count me in. I’ll even see if Hotch wants to join.”

“For the love of god.” Spencer muttered against his hand. No one seemed to hear him and if they did, they ignored him.

“Join what? What did I miss?” Garcia came tottering in on her too high heels, laptop balanced precariously in the crook of her arm.

“Apparently the kid wants to go to a strip club for his birthday.” Rossi informed her.

“No, No.” Spencer shook his head, looking up at them. “The kid does not want to go to a strip club for his birthday.”

“Oh isn’t it the big four-oh?” Garcia bounced up and down in excitement. “You have to do something special for it!”

“I highly doubt a strip club can be deemed as special.” Spencer rolled his eyes.

“Strip club?” Matt strolled into the conversation now and Spencer wanted to just vanish into thin air.

“Yeah we’re taking Reid for his birthday. Want in?” Luke asked him.

“As long as no one ever tells Kristy.” Matt chuckled. 

“What aren’t we telling Kristy?” Tara popped her head up from her desk, Spencer didn’t even know she was there. 

“That we’re going to a strip club for Reid’s birthday.” Matt offered her a sly smile.

“Oh sweet! Count me in.” She grinned. 

“How about you guys go, since you’re all so excited about it and just tell me how it was? I’ll stay home with a book or something.” Spencer sighed but no one acknowledged him. 

The door opened again and JJ meandered in, all eyes turning to look at her. 

“Uh, hi?” She laughed awkwardly as she walked across the bullpen.

“Have you ever been to a strip club, Jayje?”

Spencer groaned loudly, crumbling in on himself and smacking his head against the hardwood of his desk. Sometimes it was just easier to go along with these things than try to fight them.

And so, only slightly against his will, Spencer let them talk him into spending his birthday in the last place he ever expected to find himself, least of all on his birthday. The whole team was in attendance, plus Morgan and Hotch, he could only assume to have a front row seat to his complete mortification. They met outside the club, waiting for JJ who was late due to the fact she couldn't get Michael to go to sleep. Luke had gone so far as to pick Spencer up from his apartment, which was in the opposite direction, just so the birthday boy wouldn’t have an excuse for ditching them at the last minute.

“Is that really what you’re wearing to go to a strip club, pretty boy?” Morgan nudged Spencer in the arm.

Spencer glanced down at his attire, what he would call a sensible outfit but was clearly not what he was supposed to be wearing given Morgan’s judgemental gaze. It wasn’t a far cry from what he wore everyday, it wasn’t as though Morgan had never seen him dress like this before. He’d donned a perfectly pressed pair of black slacks, pairing them with his old faithful converse, a crisp blue button down and his black Comme Des Garçons cardigan Rossi had gifted him for his birthday a few years ago. He’d decided against a tie, because that seemed too formal for the occasion even for him. 

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” He frowned, pouting a little. 

He quickly eyed up the other men who were all wearing jeans and t-shirts, Rossi and Hotch included. He couldn’t even get started on how strange it was to see Hotch in jeans. 

“You look like a TA.” Matt shrugged. 

“I always look like a TA. Do you guys think I suddenly dress differently outside of work?” He folded his arms.

“I kind of hoped you did.” Luke smirked. 

“Isn’t it supposed to be my birthday?” Spencer grumbled. “I’m already at the last place I want to celebrate so please can we just leave my outfit choices alone?” 

“I think you look dapper.” Tara patted his shoulder like he was her annoying kid brother or something. 

“Thanks?” He pulled a face. 

“And speaking of birthdays!” Garcia was rummaging in her oversized purse before pulling something out. “Voila!”

Spencer frowned at the large, slightly garish, blue and yellow badge proclaiming “Forty Today” in obnoxious bubble font. It was bigger than Garcia’s hand, she surely didn’t expect him to wear that.

“Uh, no offence but there is no way in hell you are getting me to wear that.” He took it from her anyway, slotting it in the front of his satchel. 

“Spoil sport.” Emily chided him. “Anyone would think you don’t like your birthday!”

“I don’t very much like this particular birthday.” He muttered under his breath. “Where is Jennifer? I’d really like to just get this over with.” 

As if on cue, he heard heels on the concrete ground and seconds later the blonde appeared, dragging someone behind her. She smiled as she came round the corner, tugging Will into view under the streetlamp. 

Oh good, more people to witness my humiliation. 

“Hey guys, sorry we’re late!” She gave them apologetic glances. 

“Will, I didn’t know you’d be joining us.” Penelope hugged JJ and then Will.

“You think I was going to sit at home while my wife goes to a strip club?” He chuckled. “I may never get the opportunity to have permission to do this again in my life. Thanks Spence.” 

“You’re so very welcome.” Spencer replied sarcastically. “Can we just get on with this now?” 

“That’s the spirit.” Luke chuckled, draping his arm around Spencer’s shoulders and leading him through the non-descript door.

Inside a long, narrow corridor stretched out before them, the distant thrums of bass heavy music, causing the floor to feel like it was vibrating beneath him. A burly doorman awaited them, so broad he almost encompassed the entire corridor. 

“Hey man, I have a reservation under Alvez. It's this guy's big four-oh.” Luke gripped Spencer tightly, shaking him a little. 

The doorman glanced down at a piece of paper in his hand, scanning over it for a second before looking back up at the motley crew, clearly trying to discern if he needed to card anyone but it was immediately clear he didn’t. 

“Follow me,” He motioned for them to come with him.

Luke took the lead, dragging Spencer by his hold on his shoulders. The music got louder the further down the black corridor they got. It was dark and Spencer had to squint to see the man only a few feet in front of him, the corridor only lit by a single red light bulb swinging from the low ceiling that Spencer almost had to duck to walk under. 

At the end of the corridor was another door and the music had reached fever pitch at this point. Spencer felt as though he could taste the beat, he could certainly feel it palpitating in his chest. The doorman shoved open the door and Spencer blinked against the sudden wave of lights that smacked against his retinas. 

Luke finally let go of his shoulders, the doorway too narrow for the two of them to pass through together and motioned Spencer in front of him. Spencer stepped into the room, surprised by the sudden change in flooring, casting his eyes down to see a plush burgundy carpet now under foot. He tried not to contemplate how many germs were living in that carpet, how many drinks had been spilled and soaked into it over the years, how many other fluids it might have absorbed on top of it. He was sure this place would light up like a christmas tree under a black light. 

He grimaced, looking back up and following in the doormans footsteps across the room. He tried to keep his eyes straight ahead, desperate not to look around and take in his surroundings but his morbid curiosity got the better of him. 

Admittedly if he’d imagined what the inside of a strip club would look like this would have been plucked straight from his imagination. The main lighting was low, shielding most of the seating area in an almost ominous glow. The booths were made up of plush, gold velvet sofas, large dark oak tables in the centre of them. There was a long bar on one side, made of the same oak only its surface seemed to glitter when the light hit it. Over the back were two large velveteen curtains, concealing what Spencer could only assume was the private dance areas. There were four raised platforms each with their own golden, floor to ceiling pole in the centre, blue spotlights pointed at each one. Each podium had a scantily clad young girl dancing in upon it and Spencer quickly averted his gaze again, not wanting to be seen to objectify them. 

“You know the whole reason they are there is to be looked at right?” Morgan was suddenly at his side, nudging him in the arm. 

“It feels very…voyeuristic.” Spencer swallowed.

“Have you seriously never been to a strip club, Reid?” Matt was now at his other side. 

“Why is that so hard to believe? Do I really strike you as the kind of guy who goes to strip clubs?” They arrived at the table and Morgan motioned for Spencer to take a seat while the others sat around him. 

“It’s usually the quiet ones.” Morgan smirked at him. 

“I cannot believe Savannah is ok with you being here.”

“She was fine with it when I told her it was for your birthday.” Morgan winked at him.

“Do I need to tell you what I told Luke? This is not a brothel, I am not getting laid here.” Spencer sighed in exasperation. 

“It's not too late to take you to a brothel, kid.” Rossi smirked, before excusing himself to the bar. 

“This is the lesser of the two evils, trust me.” Spencer sat back against the plush seat and tried to keep his eyes to himself. It was a difficult feat when just in front of them was another podium with a blonde woman dancing in the skimpiest pair of underwear Spencer had ever seen. 

“No deflowering of boy wonder tonight, please.” Garcia giggled.

“Deflower…you are aware I am not a virgin, right?” Spencer pulled a face, was that how people saw him? 

“I was joking, Spence, calm down.” Garcia rolled her eyes, still tittering to herself. 

“It's that kind of defensive attitude that makes people think you are.” Luke, who was sitting on his left, nudged him. 

“I’m fairly certain if I said the same to you, you would be just as defensive.” Spencer shook his head. 

Just then, Rossi returned carrying a tray of champagne flutes and setting them on the table in the centre. He was closely followed by another young woman carrying an ice bucket in each hand, each with a bottle of the club's most expensive champagne chilling inside. 

Spencer didn’t want to look, really didn’t want to be seen to objectify, but the scent of lavender perfume seemed to flood his senses, his brain, and he could no longer think straight all of a sudden. His eyes which had been attached to the floor glanced over to the pair of deep purple, satin peep toe heels which were standing right in front of him. Slowly his eyes trailed upwards, over a set of long, smooth legs, until meeting a silk pair of dangerously tiny panties, matching the shoes in colour, which he quickly scanned over. His eyes worked up the torso until they came to the chest and the purple silk bra that really left very little to the imagination. Swallowing thickly, his eyes continued their ascent to the face and that’s when time seemed to slow to a halt.

Spencer quivered, actually trembled as he took in your soft features and dazzling eyes. The smile on your lips as you looked at him seemed genuine, and not at all like it was a pain for you to be here. You set down the ice buckets and went about opening one of the bottles, pouring everyone a glass. When you poured Spencer’s glass, bending a little as you did so, his eyes couldn’t help the way they dipped to your cleavage spilling out over the top of your bra.

He quickly snapped his gaze away and thanked you with a shaky smile. He crossed one leg over the other in an attempt to hide an arising problem in his pants.

“I’m Y/N, I’ll be your host for the evening.” You had to speak loudly to be heard by everyone over the pulsing music in the club. “Which one of you is the birthday boy?”

Your eyes flicked between the men in the group, well all of them except the all guy who had paid for the drinks. You’d been informed it was a fortieth birthday, there was no way it was him. 

“This guy right here,” Morgan grinned, gripping Spencer by the shoulders. 

You looked back at the slightly shy, uptight man in his shirt and cardigan, who was holding onto his champagne flute for dear life. He was not your usual clientele, if you didn’t know any better you would think he didn’t want to be here at all. 

“Well, I guess it’s my lucky night.” You couldn’t help but wink at him and even in the low light you saw the way his cheeks instantly flushed pink. 

Usually in your line of work, exotic dancing, not stripping, thank you very much, the men you were paid to dance for were older, usually kind of creepy. Admittedly none of the younger men at the table were bad on the eyes, but this one was especially handsome, even if he was absolutely pertrided. 

“What’s your name, stud?” You placed one hand on your hip and the other you held out for him to shake. 

You saw him swallow, taking a sip of his drink as if to lubricate his mouth so he could speak. 

“S-Spencer.” He took your hand and shook it. It was warm and so much larger than your own, even if it was a little sweaty. 

“Nice to meet you, S-Spencer.” You teased, hoping to ease some tension but it seemed to have the opposite effect. 

He shrunk in on himself, grimacing a little and looking as though he would quite literally rather be anywhere else in the world. 

“You too.” His voice jumped several octaves. 

Most of the rest of the team watched in amusement at Spencer’s discomfort, all of them aside from Emily who had wandered off to watch a redhead dance, tossing dollar bills at her and Luke who although was still seated, clearly had his eyes on the blonde on the podium in front of them. 

“So, shall we get to the good stuff?” You asked him now and he almost choked on his drink. 

“G-good stuff?” His eyes widened in terror.

“Your friends here paid for you to have a private birthday dance. They didn’t tell you?” 

Spencer clenched his jaw and turned to his friends, anger leaching from his eyes.

“I would like to go on record and say I did not invest any money in this particular endeavour.” Hotch was quick to speak up.

“This is just from me and Alvez. Happy birthday, stud.” Morgan winked at him.

If Spencer was a violent man, he would have wrung Morgan’s neck, maybe bashed his and Luke’s heads together until they lost consciousness. He was fairly certain after all his years on the job he could murder them both and get away with it. 

Maybe if you hadn’t been there, standing over him and looking so goddamn delicious in his favourite colour as well, he might have given the two men an ear full. But it wasn’t the time or place and so he swallowed his anger, keeping it bottled up until later and turning back to you. 

“Let’s just…get this over with.” Spencer stood up, grabbing his glass and the full bottle of champagne, god knows he was going to need it, and following you towards one of the curtained off areas. 

You held the curtain back for him to enter first and he did so without letting himself think about what was going to happen when the two of you were alone. The private room was much the same as the main room, only smaller with no bar. There was another plush golden couch in the centre, a smaller raised platform with a pole on the far wall. The wallpaper was a deep, cherry red, swirled with black and a gold chandelier hung from the ceiling offering, once again, very little light. 

Spencer could only assume he was supposed to sit, so slightly reluctantly he dragged his pathetic ass to the couch and sat in the centre of it. He downed the remains of his champagne before swiftly uncorking the bottle. You couldn’t help the way your body reacted to his large, veiny hand expertly pulling the cork from the bottle, like it was the easiest thing in the world. You shuddered a little at the thought of what else his hands might be capable of. 

He discarded the glass on the floor and opted instead to drink straight from the bottle, not something Spencer would ever usually do, but this whole night was so out of the ordinary for him, he decided to just lean into it. You came and stood in front of him, hands on your hips as you looked down on him.

“Not big into sharing?” You smirked at him.

“You…I assumed because you were working…”

You chuckled, reaching out and taking the bottle from his hands and taking a hefty sip. You felt the bubbles tickle the back of your throat and branch out towards your brain.

“I can indulge a little, as long as I don’t get off my face. Besides, the alcohol helps when the customer is particularly…” you searched for the right word. “Old. Ugly. Generally gross.” 

Spencer frowned at you, processing your words. 

“I guess Alvez and Morgan didn’t spring for the package where you pretend to be nice to me.” He tried to not sound as pathetic as he felt but failed miserably.

To his surprise you giggled in response, handing him back the champagne.

“Trust me, stud, you’re one customer I don’t need to drink to have fun with.” You winked at him and heard a little whimper leave his lips. He tried to cover it up by drinking more.

“Fuck,” he mumbled against the bottle top. “Let’s just…I don’t suppose we can just sit here and pretend you gave me a lap dance?” 

“Not a chance.” You smiled, sauntering on your heels over to the stereo setup in the corner. You hit play and music pulsed into the room through the speakers situated in each corner. Spencer woefully recognised the song as 50 Cent’s Candy Shop, he’d heard Morgan listen to it on more than a few occasions over the years.

You strutted back over to him, wiggling your hips to the music as you went. Spencer tried to keep his eyes trained on the bottle as he drank, refusing to let himself look at you. You made it back over to him and once again took the bottle from his hands. You sipped from it delicately, bending over to place it on the floor, ensuring to give Spencer a show of your ass as you did so. 

A low hiss left his lips, probably at the realisation you were wearing a thong. God you were going to enjoy this. 

You stood back up and started swaying to the music, stepping between his open legs. He looked up at you through frightened doe eyes, the most beautiful shade of brown you’d ever seen. His long, messy curls fell in his face and his pouty bottom lip was too kissable for words. You shook that thought off as fast as you could.

You turned you away from him, thinking it easier if you didn’t look at his gorgeous face. You knew his eyes went straight to your bare ass, you could practically feel his gaze on you. 

“You can touch me, Spencer, just nowhere inappropriate please.” Really you wanted those hands to touch you everywhere inappropriate but that kind of behaviour was frowned upon within the walls of the club. 

“I’m…I’m good.” He croaked.

You smiled to yourself as you slowly lowered yourself into his lap, perching at first on his knees before wiggling backwards. 

Spencer gasped loudly as your ass settled into his crotch and without even looking at him you knew he would be one hundred shades of red. 

It certainly wasn’t the first time a man had gotten hard when you’d given them a lap dance and you knew it wouldn’t be the last. It may well be the first time you’d enjoyed it though. 

“Jesus Christ.” He whimpered, your back now flush with his chest, his breath tickling the back of your neck. “I am so, so sorry. This is humiliating.” 

“Don’t be embarrassed.” You grinded against him in time to the music. “I know I am attractive and I am also half naked. Honestly, I’d be a little offended if you weren’t excited by that.” 

“Right. Right.” Spencer nodded, wishing he could reach the champagne bottle. “So uh…how does one get into this line of work? Stripping.” 

He needed to try and take his mind off of how unfathomably good you felt rolling your ass against his dick. 

“I’m not a stripper.” You chided him, pinching his knee with your long acrylic nails as punishment. “I’m an exotic dancer. I don’t take my clothes off. Well, no more so than this.” 

He grumbled at the pain you inflicted on his leg but the pleasure more than outweighed it. 

“Apologies, I hope I wasn’t out of line.” 

“It’s ok, it’s a common misconception. And I started working here to help pay my student loans. I stayed because I love what I do.” You grinded particularly hard against him and he whimpered against your neck. 

“You went to college?” He sounded surprised. 

“Yes, I’m not some bimbo, stud.” You rolled your eyes, another common misconception.

“Sorry.” He clenched his jaw, his cock twitching dangerously in his pants. “What uh, what did you study?” 

“Psychology.”

“No kidding?” He sounded genuinely impressed. “You have a degree in psychology and you work here?” 

You suddenly turned around, kneeling over Spencer, one leg hooked over each of his thighs. His eyes were wide as he stared at you, swallowing thickly. 

“Look, you’re cute but don’t talk to me like I’m some kind of moron and try to make me feel like working here makes me less of a person.” You reached and gripped his jaw, digging your fake nails into his stubbly cheeks.

“I…I didn’t mean it like that, I-“

“I choose to work here.” You cut him off, lowering yourself so you were seated in his lap, straddling him. “I enjoy working here. It gives me a sense of power, I’m choosing to show off my body, to turn men like you into pathetic messes.” 

Spencer moaned, didn’t even try to disguise it. You let go of his face and went to stand up but Spencer surprised you when his hands flew to your hips, gripping you firmly and keeping you in place. 

“I didn’t mean it like that.” He spoke, for the first time sounding close to confident. “You’re stunning and clearly good at your job.” He nodded down to his crotch and how he was straining against his slacks. “I didn’t mean to sound patronising or anything like that. I was merely trying to make conversation and I’m sorry if I upset you. But quite frankly, Y/N, if I don’t keeping talking I’m going to do something really fucking stupid.” 

You narrowed your eyes on him, stilling your movements as the music came to end. He kept his grip on your hips and you found yourself a little dizzy by the firmness in which he held you. 

“Stupid like what?” Your chest heaved with heavy breaths and Spencer’s eyes briefly flicked down and he hissed again at the sight. 

“Something that could probably get you fired, and neither of us wants that.” He grinded up against you this time and a soft moan left your lips. 

“Jesus,” you whined, the tables well and truly turned. “Can you just…I don’t know…give me a clue?” 

Spencer chuckled a little, moving one hand from your hip to the back of your neck and tugging you closer to him. His lips were close to your ear, ghosting over the skin. It was like a switch had been flipped, the shy and awkward guy who hadn’t even wanted a lap dance was gone, replaced by this confident and self-assured man now beneath you. 

His breath fanned across the side of your face and when he spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper. 

“Let’s just say it would involve both of us wearing a lot less clothes and you screaming my name.” 

You whimpered like a dog that had just been kicked and attempted to clamp your legs together but his were in the way. Suddenly he dropped both of his hands to his sides and looked at you darkly. 

“Get up.” He commanded you and you were dumb to do anything by comply. 

“I need to go.” He stood up, snatching up the bottle of champagne. “Thanks for that.” 

You watched him scurry away, seemingly reverting back to the shy creature he’d been initially. He fled back through the curtain, leaving you with an intense heat between your legs. 

Goddamnit, you swallowed, trying to compose yourself. I might have just found my kryptonite. 

***

Two weeks passed and Spencer couldn’t stop thinking about you. Every time he closed his eyes he saw you sitting in his lap, that goddamn purple lingerie glowing against your skin. It never failed to make him painfully hard in a matter of seconds and he’d spent more time than he could count masturbating over thoughts of you the last two weeks.

Eventually he couldn’t keep himself away if he tried. Emily had given them the weekend off and sitting alone in his apartment on Saturday night, his limbs had moved without the forethought to do so. And of course he’d ended up outside Blue Siren. 

He paid the cover charge and saw himself inside, ambling over to the bar and ordering himself a scotch. He watched the room, in a way he was trained to do, watching and waiting for a glimpse of you. 

He’d gotten down three drinks before finally he saw you across the room. His cock twitched almost instantly. Today you wore a crimson red lace teddy with shoes to match. He preferred the purple, liked it when you had more skin on display, but you still looked like a fallen fucking angel. An incredibly sexy fallen angel. 

He finished the remains of his drink and set the glass down on the bar before heading your way. 

As soon as you saw him, you couldn’t help the way your whole face lit up. He looked much the same as he had last time in his smart shirt and slacks but today he’d bypassed the cardigan and had his shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows. 

“Stud, you came back.” You smirked at him, placing one hand on your hip. 

“Can we talk?” 

“I’m on the clock.” You shrugged. “My time has to be paid for.”

Spencer rolled his eyes and fished his wallet out of his pocket, flashing a large wad of bills. He pulled one out and stuffed it in your hand.

“How much will a hundred get me?” 

You looked down at the bill wide eyed, seeing it was actually a hundred dollars. You looked back at him with a smile.

“At least a few dances.” You turned on your heels and motioned for him to follow you towards the private room you’d occupied a few weeks ago. 

Once inside you watched him get comfortable on the couch.

“You sure you just want to talk? I can dance and talk at the same time, I’m just that good.” You winked at him.

“N-no.” He shook his head. “No dancing, please?”

“Fine.” You chuckled, coming over and sitting next to him on the couch. “What’s up? Must be important if you’re willing to drop a C-Note on me.” 

“I uh, I wanted to apologise for my conduct the other week. It was very unlike me and I wanted you to know I’m sorry.” His cheeks flushed.

“Hmm.” You mused. “See, I don’t think it was unlike you. I think you allowed yourself to be completely authentic in that moment, letting out a side of yourself you don’t normally let people see.” 

“That psych degree is paying off, I see.” His lip twitched into a small smirk.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” 

“People see me a certain way.” He sighed a little as he spoke. “I’m the smart one, the bookish, awkward one. I’ve been seen that way for as long as I can remember. I guess I grew out of it but no one around me sees that. So maybe I play up the persona a little because it's what’s expected of me.” He confessed, not sure why he was doing so but you oddly put him at ease.

“Yeah, I get that. Sometimes it's easier to play into the expected, to fall into the roles people assign us rather than forge our own identity. You know, I only got my degree to prove I could. I wanted to prove, even if only to myself, that there was more to me than people expected of me. One day I might do something with it but for now, I really do love my job. But now I know I could do something else if I chose to.” You were equally surprised by your honesty. 

“My friends brought me here because they think I’m some kind of pathetic sad sack that can’t get laid.” He chuckled wistfully. 

“Oh but I bet you have no problem in that department, from what I could tell.” Maybe you leant closer to him, you certainly didn’t mean to, but you were sure he was closer now.

“I do alright.” The glint in his eyes told you he did better than alright and why did that cause a rumble of jealousy in your chest? 

This time it was him that leaned closer to you, his large hand finding your thigh. You felt your chest tighten at the way it felt.

“I’m not going to sleep with you.” You spoke but you didn’t particularly believe your own voice. 

“Not here, certainly not.” He inched his hand higher and you didn’t stop him.

“Not here, not anywhere.” 

“Tell yourself that all you want, princess.” He growled the last word, eliciting a whimper from your lips. 

“I don’t sleep with customers. Full stop.” 

“You sleep with me, I promise I will never come back here.” He dared edge his hand higher, now right at the top of your thigh.

“You should leave.” You said, but you didn’t move or push him away. 

“I just paid you a hundred dollars, I’m not going anywhere.” He squeezed your thigh, his fingers digging into your flesh. 

“Maybe I did prefer it when you were shy.”

“No you didn’t.” He smiled in a knowing way. And he was right. “Let me take you out, show you what I’m really like.” 

You swallowed, god how you would love that. But no. You couldn’t succumb. 

“Not gonna happen.” You took hold of his hand and forcibly removed it from your thigh. You removed the bill he’d given you from where you’d tucked it in the side of your panties and tossed it at him. “Keep your money. Leave before I call security.” 

Spencer chuckled to himself, shaking his head and placing the note on the couch, leaving it there as he stood up. 

“I’m not a threat, you don’t need to call security.” He held his hands up in defeat. “I think you know as well as I do that there's something between us, I just don’t know why you won’t admit to it. But whatever, I’ll go.” 

He went to move past you but as he did, his fingers circled your wrist. He turned your hand over and forcibly put his business card in your open hand. 

“In case you change your mind, princess.” With that he was gone, leaving your legs shaking in his wake. 

You looked down at the card in your hand and frowned to yourself as you read the words adorned on it. 

Doctor Spencer Reid. FBI. 

Huh. That was an interesting turn of events. 

***

Spencer didn’t return to the club again, respecting your boundaries and just holding onto a small glimmer of hope that you would call. But weeks passed and you never did. 

In all honesty, he wasn’t that surprised. He expected you’d tossed the card the minute he’d walked through that curtain and never given him a second thought. 

He didn’t often allow himself to get close to people for this very reason. When Spencer fell for someone it happened fast and hard and now you were the only thing he could think of and it was tearing him in two. 

It was Morgan and Luke’s fault. Them and their dumb idea to take him to a strip club for his birthday. He decided his next birthday was cancelled, the one after that too. Screw it, all his birthdays were cancelled indefinitely. 

Thankfully due to the BAU’s heavy caseload and him teaching classes at Marlborough University, he didn’t have a whole lot of time to dwell on you, which was for the best. 

He’d just have to resign himself to being alone again. Just like always. 

***

For weeks that card felt like it was burning a hole in your pocket. You didn’t intend on calling Spencer, but you just couldn’t get rid of it. There was something different about him, something that begged you to get to know him. But you had to resist temptation, it would only end badly like it always did. 

Still, you couldn’t help but picture his face when you gave an old, sad man a lap dance, wishing it were him instead. It never failed to send chills down your spine when you thought of the way his persona had flipped from shy and slightly nerdy, to suddenly so self assured. 

But you had to stop thinking about him. Thinking about him was fruitless. But of course you couldn’t, because like it or not, you were going to see him again. 

You’d almost considered pulling out of the class, as soon as you’d seen his name on the business card you knew it would be a bad idea to go through with it. But you’d been excited about this for months and you really didn’t want to wait another semester to take it. You just had to hope you could get through it without incident, however unlikely that seemed. 

“Ok, let's take a moment now to discuss the difference between a trigger and a stressor. A trigger is a sensory event experienced by an offender that precipitates subsequent behaviour whereas a stressor is a longer term pattern of behaviour or circumstances which push a person into behaving differently than they normally would. You might want to write this down. I probably shouldn’t be telling you guys this but I’m definitely putting this on the final.”

You watched the brunette a few rows in front of you coyly tell Professor Reid she was simply auditing the class. You couldn’t help but smirk when an array of other beautiful girls raised their hands when he asked who else was auditing. He was the youngest, best looking professor on campus, it was no surprise his class had drawn in a crowd of young girls to fawn over him. 

“Uh…ok.” He shook his head, checking his watch. “Unfortunately that is all the time we have for today. Thank you guys.”

You stayed seated while the rest of the class filtered out, watching him collect a stack of papers and put them in his worn satchel before turning to erase the writing on the whiteboard. You stuffed your laptop away and crept down the stairs towards the front of the class, fingers toying with the small white piece of card.

“What was your stressor, Professor? Or should I say, Doctor?” 

You saw his back go rigid and for a moment or two he didn't move a muscle. He set the whiteboard eraser down and slowly turned around as you waved his business card at him. He couldn’t help the way his eyes raked up and down your body, clad in jeans and a t-shirt, more than he was used to seeing on you. He still thought you looked like a goddamn angel.

“Uh, I’m sorry, what?” He frowned, clearly at a loss for words. 

“You said a stressor is a longer term pattern of behaviour or circumstances which push a person into behaving differently than they normally would. When I first met you, you behaved differently than you normally would, am I right? Pretending to be this shy, awkward little thing.” You quipped your eyebrow at him.

“For the record I wasn’t pretending. It wasn’t some kind of ruse or something. I am generally shy and awkward. But I have learnt to assert myself when I need to, for instance, when I see something I want. I got carried away that night at the club and I’m sorry for that, that was out of character for me.” He leant back against the edge of the desk and perched on it. “Why are you in my class, Y/N?”

“I signed up for this class before I met you. I didn’t even know you were the professor until you gave me your card.” You shrugged a little nervously. 

You were more uncomfortable in normal social settings. At the Blue Siren, where you commanded the room, the confidence oozed for you. But in the real world you were much uncomfortable in your own skin. 

“You want to be a profiler?” He scrutinised you with his gaze.

“Maybe someday. I told you, I don’t necessarily want to work at the club forever, I want options.”

“But you love your job.” He repeated what you’d told him.

“I do.” You nodded. “If this is going to be weird I can drop out. I can go to Georgetown next semester, although their professor is not a legit FBI agent with the BAU.” You chuckled a little.

“Why would it be weird?” 

“Because,” you shrugged. “Since the second you turned around and saw me standing here, you’ve been undressing me with your eyes.” 

Spencer smiled, a hint of a blush gracing his cheeks.

“I have, it's true.” He agreed. “I can’t help it if I’ve already seen so much of it.” 

“I don’t think you should want to sleep with your students.” 

“There’s no rule against it.” He chuckled, pushing himself back to his feet. “My students are all over the legal age, if I was to sleep with one of them, it would be completely consensual and no rules would be broken.”

“You’re talking from experience.” You stated and his eyes playfully glistened.

“Maybe.” He shrugged but his face said it all. “I told you, I do alright.” 

“Well, I can tell you for a fact I won’t be one of them.” 

“And that’s your loss.” He turned his back on you now and started gathering up his things, slinging his satchel over his head. “Excuse me, I have papers to grade.” 

You watched him saunter away, leaving you standing there in confusion and a little turned on if you were honest. He shoved open the door and exited the classroom and before you could think it through you were following hot on his heels. You caught up to him in the corridor as he was unlocking his office door. He spotted you in his peripheral vision.

“My office hours are on Wednesday.” He pushed open the door. “If you need something you can come…”

He trailed off when you pushed past him, entering his office ahead of him. He frowned and followed you inside, closing and locking the door behind him. 

“What?” He sighed, taking off his bag and dropping it in the chair next to the door. “You asked me to leave the club that night and I did. I gave you my number, I left the ball in your court and you didn’t call and that’s fine. I walked away! So why are you pursuing me?” 

“I won’t give it up.” You blurted out, causing a heavy frown to form on Spencer’s face.

“Give up what?” Had he missed a part of the conversation?

“The club, I love my job.”

“I know you do.” His frown deepened. “Why would you have to give it up?”

“Do you know how many men I meet that think I’m some kind of damsel in distress that needs saving? They swoop in, on their fucking white horse and think they can rescue the poor, broken stripper.”

“Exotic dancer.” Spencer corrected you with a smirk. You huffed somewhat childishly. 

“Whatever. They think they can change me. Men always think I’m some kind of fucking damsel in distress that needs saving from the big bad world of strip…exotic dancing. That’s why I don’t date customers, not because it's not allowed. I’ve made the mistake before and it always ends the same. So stop looking at me like you want to fuck me, because its never going to happen!” 

Spencer simply looked at you curiously while you ranted, voice getting louder with each syllable. Confusingly he was smiling when you finished.

“Can I speak now?” He had a hint of amusement in his eyes.

“If you have to.” You rolled your eyes. 

Spencer took a few steps away from the door and you felt yourself growing weaker the closer he got to you. He was magnetic, you couldn’t help but gravitate towards him.

“Correct me if I’m wrong but I’m certain I never once said that I have any kind of issue with your profession and I certainly never asked you to quit. Am I right?” 

“Y-yes.” You swallowed, catching the scent of his cologne. 

“If you’ve found something you love I would never dream of keeping you from that. Honestly, I admire you. It takes a lot of bravery and a lot of confidence to do what you do and god…you do it so well. Why would I ever want to take that from you?” He was so close now and you were begging him to touch you even though it was a bad idea.

“I…I don’t know.” 

“Yes, princess, you do.” He smirked. “You made an assumption about me, the same way I admittedly did when I first met you. But I was wrong and I acknowledged that. It’s only fair for you to do the same.” 

He raised his hand and your legs shook before he even touched you, at the sheer anticipation of it. It came up to cup your jaw, firmly enough that you could feel his fingers squeezing your jawbone. 

“Y-you don’t want to change me?” You whimpered.

“Why mess with perfection?” He bowed his head, his lips so close to yours you could feel the heat radiating off of them. “I’m no knight in shining armour, Y/N, I’m not rushing in to try and save you. And you are most certainly not a damsel in distress. You are a strong, independent woman and I would be lucky to merely exist in your orbit.” 

You mewled, trying to move closer to him, to crash your lips against his but he held you firmly in place, chuckling at your eagerness. For the first time in a long time you felt all your bravado melt away, all the confidence you had on stage at the Blue Siren was washed away, leaving you a trembling mess in front of this man. And normally that kind of vulnerability would cause you to run for the hills. But being vulnerable with Spencer didn’t seem all that bad.

“Can you,” you swallowed, eyes glued on those pouty lips of his. “Please…just kiss me already, stud.” 

Spencer laughed and for a moment you thought he might not comply. But then he closed the small space between you and you finally got to feel those pillowy lips pressing against yours. He gripped the back of your neck firmly, keeping you in place, as if you would go anywhere. 

Maybe one day Spencer would thank Morgan and Luke for the birthday present, this was one he’d surely cherish, as long as you would let him. 

Oh, isn't this exactly where you'd like me?

I'm exactly where you'd like me, you know.

Praying for love and a lap dance,

Taglist -

All

@muffin-cup @andiebeaword @measure-in-pain @takeyourleap-of-faith @dirtytissuebox @ssa-uglywhore27 @smurphyse @reidselle @reidsbookclub

SR x reader

@dreatine @dr-spencerr-reidd @spenxerslut @drayshadow @rainsong01 @this-is-doctor-and-its-calm @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @spencer-reid-wonderland @im-totally-not-dezi @hotchandspencearedilfs

[anonymouschishiyaimaginesandmore]

ToxicNeighbor! -> ToxicFriend!Chishiya

Minors, do not read! Contains mentions of smutty behavior!

MASTERLIST (up-to-date)

This is Part 2 !!HERE!! is Part 1 !!HERE!! is Part 3 !!HERE!! is Part 4

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Alice in Borderland/Imawa no Kuni no Alice characters or original stories, only the plot of this fanfic. Alice in Borderland/Imawa no Kuni no Alice characters and original storyline belong to Haro Aso, who made the Manga the Series is based on.

Trigger Warning: Explicit Smut, Toxic Behavior, Complicated Consensual/Not-Consensual Behavior, Harassment, Stalking, Summery: Chishiya x Female Reader

ToxicNeighbor!Chishiya who became ToxicFriend!Chishiya after just a few days of you being single. It’s been weeks since you and your ex-boyfriend broke apart, thru his actions and ToxicFriend!Chishiya got a new idea how to get into your pants.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya, again, pays for a prostitute to play a role of his liking. The big allowance he gets from his father is more then enough to effort 10 and he always goes for the discrete type, so they know how to keep a secret and their moral is so low, its practically nonexistent, which he greatly appreciated.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya pays the prostitute to play his new girlfriend which he fell for head over heels. At least that’s what he told you. You barely see her. Only when she walks out of his apartment. Strangely its every time you leave too, what are the odds?

ToxicFriend!Chishiya who tells you all stuff about his new girlfriend who he loves oh so much and how perfect she is. What he doesn’t tell you is how he waits every morning for you to leave for work, sitting on one of the stools of his open kitchen with the head of his paid hooker between his legs swallowing his girthy cook while he thinks of you, grunting and groaning and moaning your name with his mind in the clouds and his head thrown back.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya imagines it’s your head he presses down to his cocks base, not caring a single bit when the paid woman whimpers and gags while choking on his erection. He won’t fuck her tho, no, he doesn’t like the way she moans, and it destroys the fantasy of having you with him instead of her.

This goes on for some months and while ToxicFriend!Chishiya becomes more human in your eyes you loose your walls around him. He is taken after all so there is no reason for him to want anything from you, then the wonderful relationship he offers, right? You constantly meet for a glass of wine or something stronger after work, where you tell him how your workday went and he tells you how he lost some fake patient, sometimes its children because he saw how those stories hit you harder.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya tells you about work getting to him and his worries of growing cold and hard. He tells you how his co-workers all build walls around them and joke about their patient’s fate and how disgusting he believes this is and that he is afraid of ending like them. You hug him after that, every time, rubbing his back and reassuring him that he, the all so good doctor, who treats his patients like actual humans and feels with their pain, could never end up like this.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya of course thanks you for your kind words, saying he hopes you are right, while he deeply couldn’t care less for any other human being then himself. And you, he cares about you, but in a deeply disturbing way and if you knew even half the things he does behind your back, you wouldn’t dare to cross his path again.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya who tells you, after some glasses which he totally can take without getting drunk, how different you are to his girlfriend. Then he shares his doubts with you, at least that’s what you think. He tells you that lately his lovely girlfriend has become more distant with him. She tells him it is nothing and he shouldn’t worry but he catches her typing on her smartphone in the bathroom. She waved off his doubts telling him that its just a friend, but he can’t shake of the feeling of something being wrong.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya tells you, feigning fear, that his girlfriend is maybe growing bored of him and will leave him soon for someone else. Of course, you tell him that won’t happen. Trying to cheer him up, you praise him what a wonderful person he is and how lucky his girlfriend can even be to get someone so loyal and loving like him. He stirs some more to get some more compliments out of you, until you blush, and he takes your hand, thanking you with a low voice for your friendship and for being by your side. “What would I do without you?” he asks, and you assure him that he will never have to find this out, because you won’t go anywhere and that’s when he knows he got you hooked.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya doesn’t forget your personal life while fake dating a paid prostitute. When you came over after breaking up with your unfaithful ex-boyfriend, he took the chance of you leaving for the bathroom to refresh your nonexistent make-up, to take your apartment key and press it into mold. Then, after you left, he poured some resin into it and voila, finished was the spare key to your apartment, that you were never going to find out about.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya goes into your apartment on his days off and the other times his schedule doesn’t align with yours. He rummages thru your stuff, takes some panties here and there, one of your lacy bras too, that he knows you will miss, since it is your lucky one.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya who will sync your smartphone with one he bought for the sole purpose of spying on you. After finding out all your passwords, which wasn’t that hard since you use your first tv crushes name and some other stuff you told him after one of too many glasses of wine, ToxicFriend!Chishiya is now UpToDate with every message you write and damn was he happy to see how highly you praised him to your parents. An excellent doctor, you wrote, wonderful person, loyal friend, and handsome man. He is over the moon to see how well you thought of him. None of it true of course.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya who will send you your underwear back after he masturbated on and with it. He makes his fake girlfriend wear your bra while giving him a nice hand job, eyes locked on her boobs, imagining they are yours.

“Don’t you dare waste a single bit” he groans, making sure his cum will stain the fabric forever, then he sends it back to you with a written note of your ex-boyfriends handwriting that says how much he misses you.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya revels in your angst when you realize your ex-boyfriend was in your apartment while you were gone and stole stuff, maybe done even worse things, who knows? ToxicFriend!Chishiya does. You call him over to have someone to talk to and end up crying on his shoulder, completely freaked out after the tenth cum covered panties he sends you. He rubs your back, telling you that he won’t let this guy hurt you. That you can count on him, since he is your friend and always there for you.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya kisses your forehead and holds you in his arms till you barely can keep your eyes open. He sometimes slips in a few words, coating them in worry and fake sympathy. They all sound so caring for you, but for some reason they make you more anxious to be alone in your apartment, which is totally what ToxicFriend!Chishiya was striving for. He tells you how much it pains him to see you like that and that he too worries so much for your safety. Then ToxicFriend!Chishiya brings up the perfect idea. Stay over at his apartment and sleep here until your locks have been changed and you feel safe again. You want to say no, want to tell him that this isn’t necessary, but he got you hooked and when he insists on you having his bed, because there is no way his guest would sleep on this uncomfortable designer couch of his, you too insist on him sleeping in his bed.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya knows you didn’t ask him so he doesn’t have to lay down on some hard cushions for the night, no. You are just so afraid, practically shaking and don’t want to be alone and of course what kind of friend would ToxicFriend!Chishiya be if he said no and you are totally fine with it, even tho a blush is creeping up your face, seeing him getting ready for bed. He is after all such a gentleman, you think, ToxicFriend!Chishiya would never misuse such a vulnerable situation.

ToxicFriend!Chishiya undresses in his bathroom that he purposefully left slightly open for you to catch his naked back and nude chiseled ass. You want to look away. It’s wrong, you are not supposed to see this. ToxicFriend!Chishiya, your good friend, is doing you a huge favor by letting you stay over, treating you like a queen, so caring and sweet and you stump on his trust by creeping up on his body while he is oh so unknowing to the fact his door didn’t close up fully. You are a bad person, you tell yourself, rotten deeply, but still can’t take your eyes away. Unbeknown to you, he can see your starring in his mirror and his confidence only grows when he sees you bite your lower lip and then gasp as he turns around to face you with his front.

Too bad, ToxicFriend!Chishiya thinks, pulling up his pajama pants just in time, so you won’t get to steal a look at his well build crotch. Not yet. You haven’t earned it yet, but soon, he thinks. Then he won’t have the prostitutes’ lips sucking him off, but yours.

Btw, ToxicFriend!Chishiya never makes his paid fake girlfriend wear your panties, even tho it would be easier to stain them that way, but he doesn’t want her pathetic dirty juice mixed with his godly cum on your clothing. No no. It’s his and only his pleasure to be.

[sirthisisa-wendys]

Glad to see you’re back, don’t forget to take self care time ❤️

If you could, would you be willing to do a Bonten!Sanzu’s secret girlfriend, one that must be kept a secret and what happens when they are finally caught by Mikey? It would be muuuuch appreciated ❤️

Happy to try my hand at this!

Dodged Bullet: Sanzu Haruchiyo x Fem!Reader

wc: 715

tw: NSFW

masterlist

"Scoot the seat back a little, Haru..."

Car sex isn't your favorite type of mid-day rendezvous. It's probably on the "Top 5 Things I Wouldn't Want To Be Caught Dead Doing" List, but you make exceptions here and there. Especially when it comes to Sanzu Haruchiyo.

"What," he chuckles, fingers fidgeting with the reclining function. "Can't ride me just like this?"

"Cock is too big," you reply, flinging your hair over your shoulder and hiking your mini skirt up as you slide onto his lap. "My back would hit the horn too often." The pink-haired menace laughs out loud as he leans back, holding your waist in his right hand.

You smash your lips against his in an effort to avoid drawing any attention to your escapades, your hands fiddling with his belt while he slips your underwear to the side.

"Live a little, sweetcheeks," Sanzu purrs between kisses, his fingers rolling over your ass while you grind on his erection. "You're always so uptight."

"Your boss is always uptight." Sanzu's blue eyes shift as you mention Mikey, but he doesn't reply. It doesn't ruin the mood even in the slightest. He just shifts his pants down his hips and fists his erection.

"You're gonna take this cock, and you're gonna like it. Got it, babe?"

"When have I ever not liked it?" Sanzu's mouth spreads into a cheeky grin, and you slide onto his waiting dick, lubricated only by his pre-cum and your slick. There's nothing else to say except the usual praises and comments about how you're "such a good girl" and how "fucking fat" Sanzu's dick is.

It takes just as long as it needs to for your hips to buck and quiver and for Sanzu to cum in you - raw, as is the standard these days. You're left panting and waiting for Sanzu to ask you to roll off him when you feel the lace of your underwear rip salaciously.

"Haru!" Your shout doesn't deter the thief, however. It just makes him laugh as he pulls your black underwear off and presses it to his nose.

"Fuck yeah," he comments, eyes rolling in his head. "That'll be a nice one to save."

"You're lucky I don't have anyone to tell about this," you tease, smacking your boyfriend on the chest.

"Too bad," Sanzu drawls, looking over at you. "I think it'd be cute to share that I keep my girlfriend's underwear, don't you think?"

"Haruchiyo."

The almost-whisper of his name draws the man out of his daydream. Sanzu sits upright on the couch and looks at his boss, ready and waiting.

"Yes, Mikey?"

"Explain something to me." Sanzu frowns. He's never been asked to explain anything before - that's Kakucho's and Koko's job. But he still remains at attention, watching his boss stand up from his seat and toss a phone into his lap.

It takes a minute for Sanzu to comprehend the footage, but after a while, he starts to remember the parking lot, the car, the garage of the hotel, the mid-day rendezvous.

"Are you into hookers now?" Mikey looks down at him, and he can't decipher whether Mikey's mad or concerned. But it doesn't matter. He'll have to lie just this one time.

"She's an escort," Sanzu shrugs. "She's cheap and always available. Easy fuck, and lets me keep her underwear if I'm decent." Mikey hums, placing his hands in his pockets.

"Interesting." There's a pause, and when Mikey doesn't move to take the phone back, Sanzu hands it over. "That's not what she said."

Sanzu pales.

"She's more of the 'lies to get out of things' type, Mikey." Black eyes flick over to Sanzu's face. "It's really nothing."

"Then quit fucking her on my time, Haruchiyo." Mikey snatches the phone back. "And on my dime."

"Yes," Sanzu answers as Mikey shuffles off. "Whatever you say, boss."

"What you do on your time is up to you," Mikey tosses back, raising his hand to wave at the air. "But if you waste my time with a hussy, I'll make sure she can never service anyone again."

Sanzu doesn't realize how long he'd been holding his breath until Mikey disappears, and he lets it go, feeling the graze of the metaphorical bullet he just narrowly dodged.

[your-nanas-house]

Shimmering gold

◇ Pairing: Robert Fischer X fem!reader

◇ Warnings: smut, blowjob, money, alchool, ring, mention of hookers

◇ Summary: Robert had a bad day at work and needed a stress relief.

◇ Note: Sorry for the mistakes and the English. This is my first Robert Fischer fic!

Robert returned home in a bad mood, after one of the stressful days passed at his father's company. He called you earlier, when he was still in the taxi— and you could hear by his voice that it was one of those days.

As soon as he entered his apartment and his piercing blue eyes settle on you for a moment, he locked the door ordening with a firm voice the first action of the night

"Get undressed"

You raised your head from the magazine you were reading, putting it down and uncrossed your legs before getting slowly up to start to slowly remove your clothes like he asked you.

You moved in a sensual and calm way, just the way Robert liked it—

You grabbed two glasses of whiskey and walked closer to him, handing him one while staying in nothing but the golden ring he wanted you to wear.

Robert took the glass and drank it quickly, then looked at your naked body as he decided to approach you slowly— to look at your bare body closely.

He put his hands around your waist in a slow motion and pulled you close to him for a passionate kiss.

You kissed back, wrapping your hands around his neck, before moving them to get rid of his blue coat together with the belt he was wearing that day.

He usually didn’t got fully naked during those sessions of yours but today seemed different since he took off his shirt and threw it aside, revealing his pale freckled skin. Then he unbuckled his pants and let them fall to the floor, leaving him completely naked except for his white boxers.

You remained still, watching him with a kind of surprised look on your face, waiting for his next move since you couldn't understand where he was trying to lead things.

Your eyes remained on him as he picked up another glass of whiskey and drank it, before setting it down on the coffee table beside him.

Robert reached out and gently touched your cheek with his finger tips, tracing the outline of your jawline before running his fingers through your hair, his eyes focused on your face.

A smile creeped into his face as he leaned in close to whisper into your ear in a low tone

"I want you to suck my cock" , his breath hot against your skin created goosebumps.

You kneeled down without hesitation and reached for a condom; Robert watched as you knelt down before him, taking the condom from where it lay on the coffee table and rolling it onto his already erect cock.

Once it was securely in place, he reached down and guided your head towards his groin area, making a messy ponytail that was just told up by his firm grip.

You started to lick his balls first, then moved upwards until you finally reached his tip and started to suck it slowly, making sure not to go too fast as you gave attention to the full length with your hands.

As you began to suck on Robert's whole cock, he could feel himself growing harder and more sensitive under your skilled ministrations. He gripped your shoulders, pulling you even closer to him as he began to thrust his hips forward rhythmically, fucking your mouth roughly and fast— since he started to loose a bit his patience.

Feeling himself nearing the edge of his orgasm, he suddenly stopped thrusting and instead grabbed hold of your hair firmly, letting go of your bare shoulders. With one final deep thrust, he released a powerful burst of cum filling the condom with a low groan.

You moved away, removing the protection carefully— you tied it and threw it in the trash, bending slightly down as you did so.

Robert watched every action as he breathed heavily, then straightened back up to stand behind your bare body.

He reached out and ran his fingers through your hair once more before speaking in a low but soft voice

"That was amazing," he said simply, looking down at her with a satisfied expression on his face.

He took your hand, playing and studying the ring on your ring finger while leaving soft wet kisses on your neck.

"Check or cash today, dear" you asked as you started to put your clothes back on, assuring him that you would be back but that you had to go to another customer in half an hour.

Taglist:

@gabile18 , @mrsfullbuster500 , @rex-ray , @elizamalfoyy, @eovjjj , @monkeyking-and-liuer-mate , @jeremiah-va1eska , @gothamchic16, @rabbiteggz , @dieg0brandos-wife , @rottenecstasy , @lazyexcuse , @teh-vampire-bunny , @lobotomy-lover , @slasher-smasher , @sleepycreativewriter , @cup1ds-heart

[theoarfishexpress]

The Ancestors

Before divine selection could take place and the Tetrarch could begin, the deities had to choose what would inhabit their world. They would need to be adaptable enough to survive the ecological shock, and able to form a functional ecosystem from the beginning, but the rest was up to the deities’ own inscrutable choices. The majority of colonists were sourced from Earth’s Holocene epoch, but a handful of the founders were inexplicably from various other time periods. To allow more ecologically complex organisms to survive colonization, the cherry-picked settlers were introduced in successive waves, each supporting the next. The first assisted in the final steps of terraforming, the hardiest microbes starting or regulating such vital processes as oxygenation and the carbon cycle. Each wave that followed increased in size and diversity, until the Tetrarch’s founding menagerie was complete. This eclectic sample of Earth would give rise to every oddity making up the Tetrarch’s biosphere, the primordial ancestors from which all of its life descends. What follows is a list of these ancestors at the time that the Tetrarch was ready to begin, not including the myriad unicellular organisms and viruses whose descendants are also important. Plants and Algae -Brazilian Waterweed (Egeria densa) -Coconut Palm (Cocos nucifera) -Erect Prickly Pear (Opuntia stricta) -Grasses (~ 5 species) -Hooker’s Chives (Allium hookeri) -Leptosporangiate Ferns (~ 5 species) -Lithops (~ 5 species) -Mosses (~ 5 species) -Macroscopic Algae (~ 25 species, including Undaria and Acetabularia) -Southern Magnolia (Magnolia grandiflora) -Spanish Moss (Tillandsia usneoides) -Turtlegrass (Thalassia testudinum) Vertebrates -African Clawed Frog (Xenopus laevis) -Banded Knifefish (Gymnotus carapo) -Conodonts (~ 5 species) -Hapalops sp. -Longspined Porcupinefish (Diodon holocanthus) -Pacific Viperfish (Chauliodus macouni) -Spiny Softshell Turtle (Apalone spinifera) -Star-Nosed Mole (Condylura cristata) Arthropods -Atlantic Horseshoe Crab (Limulus polyphemus) -Coccus Soft Scales (~ 5 species) -Copepods (~ 25 species) -Earwigs (~ 5 species) -Goose Barnacles (~ 5 species) -Hoverflies (~ 5 species) -Lacewings (~ 5 species) -Mites (~ 25 species) -Pseudoscorpions (~ 5 species) -Rainbow Mantis Shrimp (Pseudosquilla ciliata) -Springtails (~ 15 species) -Water Fleas (~ 5 species) Molluscs -Applesnails (~ 5 species) -Hippurites sp. -Sea Angels (~ 5 species) -Sea Butterflies (~ 5 species) -Venus Clams (~ 5 species) Other Animals -Arrow Worms (~ 5 species) -Brittle Stars (~ 5 species) -Clitellate Worms (~ 15 species, including leeches, earthworms, and naidids) -Demosponges (~ 10 species) -Dugesia Planarians (~ 5 species) -Nematodes (~ 300 species) -Rotifers (~ 5 species) -Tardigrades (~ 5 species) -Velvet Worms (~ 5 species) Fungi -Collared Earthstar (Geastrum triplex) -Lichens (~ 5 species) -Molds (~ 50 species)

[x-stephanie-sinnz-x]

Road trip (Part I )

(Before everyone starts messaging me, asking me if this is true.

This story is only partly true, but with a good amount of fantasy added.)

 

Not sure how many of you know this, but my husband and I are avid gamers. We have an entire room dedicated to gaming. Currently we have 2 separate ps5s and 2 separate monitors along with 2 separate gaming pc's. All though we share our love for gaming, we often don't share the same interest in games. So, one night I was on call of duty and he was on division 2, and I overheard him talking to some of his clan members. For those who don't know what that is, we'll that's just a group of people that play together as a group.

He was bragging to them about how I was the best cocksucker, amongst other things. I pushed my headset slightly to one side so I could get a better listen, and that's when my husband said "isn't that right babe". He obviously knew I was listening in.

Apparently some of the guys in the group didn't believe him, so I joined the group chat with them.

They asked me a ton of sexual questions, and I happily answered them.

All the guys in the group seemed to be around 35-40ish, one was even in his mid 60's.

As we got to talking, one guy stood out to me, he was extremely interested in our lifestyle. His gamer tag was Cluster_Funk, he was in his late 40's, a truck driver, divorced, and had 5 kids.

Eventually he asked where we where from and my husband told him.

After that he excitedly said that he would actually be passing through here in a few weeks.

To which I replied " Oh yeah! Well I've been in search of a good dick to suck." 

A few weeks went by and he stayed in contact with both my husband and I.

He even sent a few dick pics.

  (It was an average dick)   He said he was a quick cummer but could cum multiple times.

Eventually the day came when he was scheduled to be in town. It was around 10pm on Friday. I dressed in a small, tight, white, see through half top, no bra, to show off my tits and nipples, and an even smaller skirt that I could have used as a tube top. So small that it only covered my hips, and left the top of my red g-string straps showing, along with my pussy mound popping out of the bottom. I basically looked just like a hooker.

My husband and I pulled into a truck stop and parked, then sent him a message to say we where there.   He replied “Red truck in the back. Lights are on.”

I kissed my husband and rubbed his dick through his pants, and I said, "I'll be right back".

To which he replied on my way out the door "see you tomorrow".

At the time, I figured he was joking at the fact that it was around 10:30ish and I'd be busy till 12am, technically the next day.

Anyways, I walked to the back and there were only 10 or so trucks in the lot, so it was easy to find him. I walked up to the truck and he rolled his window down.  

“Are you Mrs. Sinnz (my gammer tag)?”  

“Um. Yes.”    

“Get in the other side.”    

I got in the truck and sat in the passenger seat. He pulled his pants down and motioned for me to come closer. I got up and got down on my knees. There was enough room for him to turn sideways in the seat and me be in the aisle next to him. His dick was super sweaty, but I got to work anyway.   

He already had an erection when I started. He grabbed my head and started to move me up and down. I just let him set the pace and I concentrated on the sucking. Sure enough, after only a few minutes, he pulled my head down and started to shoot his load into my mouth.  as I struggled to swallow it all he said “Relax. You’re coming with me. I have to make a delivery. You are going to suck me all the way.”   Whoa. I had not planned on this. It was Friday night, so at least I didn’t have work the next day. Thats when I realized what my husband ment by "see you tomorrow". So I guess I may as well get okay with this, because I don’t seem to have a choice.    He started the engine and started to drive. After a few minutes, I decided I may as well get back to work. I started sucking his dick again. He just drove and mostly left me alone. I went slower this time. It took about 10 minutes this time, but he started cumming into my mouth again.     I swallowed and went right back to work. It took a few minutes to get him hard again. I kept sucking for what felt like forever. I was just zoned out. I knew I didn’t have anything else to do, since I was in this truck. So I just sucked and sucked. After another few minutes, he started to cum again. I swallowed.   

“OK. You can take a break if you want.” I sat back in the passenger seat. It was still dark. I decided to go lay down in the bunk since I had not been to sleep yet.   I was awakened by him pulling off my tiny g-string.

He apparently stopped on the side of the interstate for a quick fuck.

He climbed on top of me as I spead my legs wide for him.

His dick entered my pussy with ease. He fucked me for about 5 minutes before cumming in me.

After I put my panties back on so i wouldn't leak cum everywhere and fell back asleep.

I was again suddenly woken up, but this time it was the drivers door being shut. He had gotten back into the truck. It was now light outside. He started the truck and we were on our way back. It was now 6:00 in the morning.  

“Hey. I could use your mouth again.”  

  I got back down on my knees and took his dick out of his pants. I started sucking. I was lost in thought until I heard an air horn blasting. I looked behind me and saw that there was a truck next to us. We were all traveling very slowly. It was a bit of a traffic jam. Then I looked over and saw that the driver in the truck next to us was staring right at me. He could plainly see through the passenger window and across the truck to see me sucking dick. 

I pulled my g-string aside, to show off my pussy and ass hole.    The other trucker just gave a thumbs up.    I went back to sucking his cock. I could tell the traffic had cleared up and we were travelling a lot faster. I sucked him off three times in a row again before settling back into the passenger seat. By this time, I really needed to pee. He handed me a bottle to pee in.

I took my g-string off and squated down in the middle of the aisle, spread my pussy lips apart and peed into the bottle.  

He must have been looking. “You sure have a beautiful twat, Sinnz.” I finished peeing and went to pull my panties up. “No. Leave them off”  

Well, OK.  I can do that. I sat there watching the traffic with my bare pussy peeking out of the tiny skirt.

[hippy-pants]

TIL: Every time you stifle a sneeze, the force of the sneeze cannot simply disappear from existence. It must manifest elsewhere, often causing a small creature to explode or a chef's hat to fly off into the air. La toque blanche. The chef's hat. Why is it shaped like a mushroom cloud? Because they both sure can cook. And why is a mushroom cloud shaped like a mushroom? Not many people know this, but out in the forest, right where every mushroom grows, there used to be a tiny Japanese city, so tiny that even David the Gnome could commit accidental genocide just by taking a poop without looking. Ironically, Gnome Poop is highly sought after in Japan, because of its mystical properties and because it tastes good on sushi for people who can't handle wasabi. Here in America, Gnome Poop's mystique is somewhat overshadowed by that of Unicorn Seed!, the hip new soda pop that all the kids are guzzling on the street corners. Its popularity has been hugely fostered by product placement in popular films. For instance, in the film "Muscular Hooker 2," Will Smith's character takes a dramatically-framed swig of Unicorn Seed! and then suddenly grows a CGI erection which extends into infinity, and then Will Smith's mind explodes and the movie ends. For that scene alone, Roger Ebert gives the film 3 and a half stars. Not many people know this, but movie critics have a finit amount of stars they can award in their lifetime. They are often kept in a vault, heavily secured to prevent a senile Scrooge McDuck from wandering in, mistaking the stars for gold coins, and swimming in them. This is for Scrooge's own protection, as the stars have sharp edges and would laycerate his body into a bloody, feathered pulp. If this were to happen, his will states that the entire McDuck fortune will go to his grandnephews, Huey, Dewey, and Louie; and that his nephew Donald will get zilch because nobody understands what the Christ he is saying anyway, so who cares. As for Scrooge McDuck's body, it will be jerked and eaten, as per Scottish tradition. Indeed, cannibalism of the dead is a cherished custom in Scotland. When a Scottish boy's coming of age is celebrated (a ceremony known as the Scot Mitzvah) he is forced to consume his own great-grandfather, bones and all, in just 24 hours, or else the local Shaman will hit him on the head with a magical stick that stops him from ever becoming an adult. Now, you might think that eternal childhood wouldn't be such a bad thing - Never-Never-Land and all that jazz - but no! Once your parents are dead, there's nothing to stop you from eating nothing but sweets, as children all want to do, and when your baby teeth have rotted away, there will be no adult teeth to take their place. Toothless, stupid, and unkissed by the spirits of puberty, you will be banished from Scotland to the only place in this world where an awkward manchild such as yourself can ever hope to be accepted: Ireland. You will live as a leprechaun. You will don a false beard and a green bowler and stand on the streets jabbering about a nonexistent pot of gold. When darkness falls, you will sleep in an alley on a bed of night soil, clutching a potato, which will be your surrogate mother. If you are found by leprechaun poachers, your only hope for escape is to mesmerize them with a sprightly leprechaun jig, and then stab their eyes out with your leprechaun stiletto. Then you must run away to find another Irish hamlet, and the cycle will repeat forever until one of three things happens. One: the poachers get too smart for you. Two: you starve to death. Three: the stifled sneeze of a distant someone causes you to explode and die.

[rawiswhore]

Sonny Crockett x Fem Reader- "Sonny with a Chance"

"Miami Vice" was a television show with hookers and strippers, even the debut episode of the show had the 2nd character Ricardo Tubbs attending a strip club.

Sometimes, even the main character Sonny Crockett had to go to a strip club to take his mind off of things, especially considering the man who played him was a huge ladies man and womanizer.

On a "Miami Vice" episode that aired in 1988, Sonny was sitting at a table in front of the runway at a strip club.

This strip club fit and blended in with "Miami Vice"'s 1980's aesthetic and atmosphere.

The opening drum machine to Samantha Fox's "Touch Me" began thumping and pounding, and during the entrance to the song you appeared on the stage.

When you appeared on this stage, you wore a matching bra and panties that had garter belts attached to your with sheer thigh high stockings that reached your thighs and silky gloves that reached your elbows.

The outfit you wore was similar to the outfit the stripper wore in "Miami Vice"'s first episode.

You crouched down on the stage and slowly crawled on your hands and knees down the runway to Samantha Fox's song before she began singing, men sitting down were cheering and applauding you, many of them whistling at you.

Sonny, meanwhile, sat there with a smirk and grin on his face while his eyes looked at you.

He wasn't disgusted over you, in fact, he was in lust with you.

He was growing an erection under his pants seeing you.

While you approached to the end of the runway, you noticed and saw Sonny sitting there.

Out of all of the men in the strip club, Sonny was the one who caught your attention the most.

He was the sexiest man by far in this stripclub, and thank God that he was sitting at the front of the runway.

Even better, he seemed to be interested in you.

Your eyes were glued to Sonny as you crawled down to the end of this runway, where you even licked your top lip sexily with a grin on your face.

You stopped crawling once you reached the end of runway.

"What's your name, big boy?" you asked him with a smirk on your face, your voice sounding sexy.

You could've called him "Daddy".

"Sonny Crockett" he answered back with a smirk on his face.

You weren't really expecting him to have that name, although his real name is James.

You could've walked down the runway instead of crawling, that's probably sexier.

You turned your legs around until you hopped off of this runway, where you stood in front of Sonny and your hand grabbed one of your gloves, where you slid that glove off of your arm.

You slowly walked around Sonny, where you stopped walking once you stood behind him.

You raised one of your legs up and rested it---specifically behind your knee---on top of his shoulder, which made him turn his head and look at your leg dangling off of his shoulder.

You didn't put any pressure when you rested your leg on his shoulder.

One of your hands and arms slowly slid and stroked down his chest and torso.

You swerved your leg sideways off of him and placed your foot back on the ground, where you walked around him until you stood in front of him.

You then began to roll and gyrate your hips and ass, where you slid your back on his torso and sat on his lap.

You still continued rolling your ass and hips on his lap with your hands on your knees,  where you could feel his erection under his slacks.

Your back was touching his torso as you sat in his lap, you were giving him a lapdance.

Sonny's hand slipped into the pocket of his slacks, where he pulled out his wallet and his other hand managed to pull out a $20 bill.

His eyes looked to see if that was the right amount of money to give you.

He shut his wallet and slipped it back into his slacks, where he slid and inserted that $20 bill between your panties.

You then turned and rotated your body around until your torso was touching his torso, where you began rolling and gyrating your lap forward on his lap.

One of your hands grabbed your other glove and slid it off of your arm.

You wanted to caress and stroke his chest as well as run your fingers through his long, thick, feathered hair.

There was a lot of tension between you and Sonny right now.

You grinned and smiled as you gave him this lapdance.

You then raised your body off of him, to which while the camera was filming behind your back, your hands reached behind your back and unclasped your bra, where you removed your bra off of your chest and flashed and exposed your bare breasts at him.

Sonny's eyes grew wide and his eyebrows raised seeing your tits.

Many men in this stripclub cheered seeing your bare breasts, several of them whistled at you.

If "Married with Children" in the late 1980's could show a woman exposing her bare breasts in front of Al Bundy with her back turned in front of the camera, then so could "Miami Vice".

You could've walked around the stripper pole on the runway in front of Sonny.

[kmclaude]

Jehan having a midlife crisis and trying to solve it by draining his life savings to pay 4 hookers to have an orgy with him only to be unable to get erect and break down sobbing while 4 sex workers desperately try to salvage the mood

*remembers the priest in the news who was caught banging 2 sex workers on the altar and filming? It? In a local church here and who apparently is another friend's friend's brother who would lecture them on premarital sex*

Yeah that tracks

[methinmycoffee]

Side character shenanigans

~~Jimmy Valmer~~

Part one? Probably, but you can never be to sure.

Anyway, let’s talk Jimmy. First introduced in Season 5 episode 2 “Cripple Fight” and intended to be a one time character, just a rival to Timmy. The staff liked him so much that they kept him around. His character still needed some major fleshing-out though, and as his character developed, so did his role in the show.

Originally, in “Cripple Fight” he was relatively one dementional . He reminds me of Jamie Grimm from the I Funny book series. Not that funny, sort of stuck up, and a sappy inspirational story. Honestly, I’m with Timmy on this one, Jimmy is very hittable. At least in this first episode. He’s a solid rival that you’re not supposed to root for, especially in the way that the other people in town treat him, and the way he treats Timmy. The population liked Jimmy though, so he was going to stick around, but he had to change.

Just like Tweek and Craig before them, Jimmy and Timmy never spoke of their massive fight ever again. In fact, they were friends throughout the rest of their episodes together. Ironically, Jimmy would take center stage in front of Timmy for the rest of the show, just like he did in ‘Cripple Fight’.

As Jimmy shifted in to the main cast of the show, the largest part of his character, his affinity for lame ass jokes, remained relatively constant. However, all though he was still pretty confident, he was less stuck-up and bossy. His main thing for a while tended to be getting in to extremely adult situations, while maintaining the relative naïveté to what he was actually doing. Episodes like “Krazy Kripples” (S7 E2) and “Erection Day” (S9 E7) are the best examples of this. Though he also took lots of steroids in the episode called “Up the Down Steroid” (S8 E2) but it doesn’t fit quite as well because he knew exactly what he was doing it that one. It was still him getting in to a very adult situation, though.

He was sidelined a lot after that. His next large episode was probably “Fishsticks”all the way in Season 14, but he still appeared in most of the group episodes, where lots character has a couple lines each. He also has an ongoing “rivalry” of sorts with Nathan, but it really doesn’t go anywhere for him, other than affecting him a little down the line in his journalism storyline. His small part in the episode “Quest For Ratings’”(S8 E11) established his love for honest news, which would come back in Season 19.

Speaking of season 19, Jimmy’s back. Mostly without the lame jokes, and with a whole lot more journalistic integrity. He takes the lead on a very confusing set of three serialized episodes about advertising. A little boring, good thing they aren’t totally shifting his character into a generic action movie good guy who goes a little astray but his heart’s in the right place. Oh, wait. Jimmy took a major turn, away from what had originally made his character, and even if you think this change was for the better it was an undeniable change.

He didn’t really go back after that. He also didn’t really do that much for a while. Other than being in the Post-COVID specials as a famous comedian, but everyone did something in those. He most recently delivered some wonderful toilet paper related facts, which brought back his desire to spread the truth and revealed that he wrote an exposé on the toilet paper industry when he was in 2nd grade.

Overall: Jimmy went from “one-off rival to Timmy” —>”a steroid-taking, gang-joining, hooker-banging funny man” —> “incredible journalist with an unquenchable thirst for the truth”. Quite the pipeline. Honestly, I don’t love what they’ve been doing to Jimmy’s character lately, but he was never my absolute favorite. Still, his abrupt character change and his shift away from being a comedian is a little strange in my opinion.

Honestly I kind of want to know what other people think about him. If they saw the change or if they didn’t and if they like it/him. He’s not super popular in the fandom, but I feel like most people have got to have some sort of opinion on him. Let me know what you think, I’m genuinely curious.