#episode: 2.2 Are You Now or Have You Ever Been
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Before the Beginning (part 1.2.)
Part 1.1. | Part 1.3. | Part 1.4. | Part 1.5. |
Part 2.1. | Part 2.2. | Part 2.3. | Part 2.4. |
This series of posts is about the opening scene of S2. Obviously. In every X.1. post I will propose one theory of what I believe the scene tells us about the universe and the characters, and then in the following X posts (X.2. and on) I will interpret scenes from both seasons applying and further examining thet theory.
My first theory, which I presented in the opening post, is that the Fall was a far more transformative event than both we, the audience, and the characters in the show, especially Aziraphale, have ever realized. I believe it's communicated to us by showing us pre-Fall Crowley who has no serpentine traits, from which we can infer that he had no serpentine nature either. It had only appeared after the Fall.
Now I'd like to examine the scenes where Crowley's past angelic identity is ever brought up.
In this post, we'll be looking at the (in)famous Bandstand Breakup from S1E3. The beginning of that scene is one of the earliest instances Crowley's past angelic identity is ever brought up properly.
Here's the original dialogue:
A: It's the Great Plan Crowley. C: Yeah. For the record, great pustulent mangled bollocks to the Great blasted Plan! A: May you be forgiven. C: I won't be forgiven. Not ever. That's part of the demon's job description. Unforgivable. That's what I am. A: You were an angel once. C: That was a long time ago.
I'm not going to lie, I didn't notice anything unusual about it after S1. It's a brief exchange and the Bandstand Breakup is a heavily emotional scene, so even after multiple rewatches it got lost for me among all the other things that were going on.
If anything, my interpretation was that Aziraphale meant Crowley might not be as unforgivable as he claims. But I really wasn't thinking too much about it.
But now that I have a reason to look specifically at those two lines, they are very unusual.
Just compare them to the dialogue from the very same episode, from the 1862 St. James Park scene:
C: Look, I've been thinking. What if it all goes wrong? We have a lot in common, you and me. A: I don't know. We may have both started off as angels but you are fallen.
And, OK, this was somewhat unusual too, but only in how extreme it was, not in the sentiment either of them was expressing. It was perfectly on-brand for Crowley to try and bring Aziraphale's attention to how the differences between them weren't really all that big or significant. It was just as perfectly on brand for Aziraphale to insist they were on opposite sides.
In fact, they both express the very same sentiments during the bandstand scene.
Except in those early lines I quoted where their roles are practically reversed for a brief moment. By pointing out that Crowley was an angel once, it's Aziraphale who tries to convince Crowley they are more similar than it may appear. And by brushing Aziraphale off it's Crowley who shuts down that line of reasoning and underlines the divide between them.
You must admit it is unusual.
So why would they?
When it comes to Aziraphale, it's important to remember that at the time this scene was happening, he was in an exceptional and very difficult position. I've already addressed it in one of my older posts, so I'm just going to quote myself:
"At the end of episode 2, Aziraphale learned who and where the Antichrist was and it was the first piece of real information he got that could actually make a difference. He needed to make a choice about what to do with it and it pretty much paralysed him.
First, immediately after finding out, he got a call from Crowley asking for updates and lied claiming he didn't know anything. Then he arranged the meeting with the Archangels but withheld most of the information and when asked directly where the Antichrist might be he lied again that he wasn't sure. Then he met Crowley face to face (this is where the scene we're discussing takes place), once more lied (by omission) about the Antichrist, insisted he wouldn't tell him anyway, and eventually broke up with him. The next day he approached Gabriel and tried to reason with him by mentioning "human prophecies" but not the Antichrist. Then Crowley approached him again and was rejected again. And finally, he got cornered and assaulted by Michael, Uriel, and Sandalphon.
Frankly, I haven't even noticed it before, with all the other scenes in between, and all the emotions involved, but it's a very clear pattern, isn't it? Crowley - Heaven - Crowley - Heaven - Crowley - Heaven. Nothing could illustrate better how Aziraphale was swinging between the two."
Aziraphale is trying to figure out what to do. He's currently in a swing away from Heaven - which put him off the idea of telling them during their meeting - and towards Crowley. He's searching for reasons and arguments why he might choose siding with Crowley. And it's all very high stakes and emotionally intense.
And under all this immense pressure Aziraphale brings up, in a rather small and pleading voice, something that seems uncharacteristic at the time.
"You used to be an angel once".
You used to be like me. You still are.
This was a perfect opening for Crowley. He should have picked that thread and pulled and he would very likely get where he wanted. Starting from there would make it so much easier to back all his arguments and prove all his points. But he didn't.
Crowley straight-up refused to discuss it.
He pretty much shut the door Aziraphale opened for him and then not even a minute later proceeded to try and break through the wall...
Why?
That is a much simpler question. Just like Aziraphale, Crowley was heavily distressed. He didn't know about the Antichrist. He believed he was running out of options and out of time. The world was about to end and he was powerless to do anything about it. He didn't have the mental capacity to reexamine and discuss this very sensitive and problematic topic right then.
We are not done with the scene yet, but for now, let's leave it. In the next post, we'll look at ones when Crowley is a bit more open about the subject - the Job minisode.
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The Blessed Cult Legacy Masterpost
Blessed be the fruit.
So around four score and seven years ago, in late 2017, I decided to start a legacy based on The Handmaid's Tale. I named it the Blessed Cult legacy, and only posted it to r/thesims for the entirety of it's run.
It had a small, dedicated audience that I am forever grateful for, because working on it carried me through some rough times, and it was probably still the most fun I ever had in my game to this day.
Unfortunately the series came to a premature end due to data loss (some lessons have to happen multiple times before you get it ig). After losing so much work, CC, and screenshots forever, I ended up dropping the series entirely and any maintenance for imgur links.
Since I still receive sporadic messages about the series from people finding it years later, they alerted me to the fact that some of the links are broken. I only just realized some of them are have been wiped entirely from imgur for gore or nudity, and are unrecoverable.
In a half-ass effort to preserve what I have left, Im reuploading all the imgur links and reddit posts related to the series here.
May the lord open.
DISCLAIMERS
TRIGGER WARNING: Domestic and sexual violence, enslavement, religious fundamentalism, rigid gender roles, child abuse, gore/extremeviolence mod, nudity/wickedwhims mod
Because the show was still newish and The Testaments hadn't been released yet, I basically filled in gaps in the social order as I went along. Definitely a lot of things I wouldn't do today.
Ngl some parts are very cringy to me now, looking back at my 22-23 year old self. So PLEASE dont assume I write or think like this anymore, for the love of the Watcher :')
Reddit post: The Blessed Cult Legacy
Reddit post: How toddlers can singlehandedly destroy any well planned gameplay (Blessed Cult update)
Reddit post: Blessed Cult Update (#3)
The fourth post is gone completely from my imgur, most likely for NSFW content. Since the only screens I have left of this save are the ones in my imgur, that one is just gone completely.
Reddit post: Blessed Cult Update (#4)
Reddit post: Blessed Cult is Back! (#5)
Reddit post: Turns out a 15 sim household is just constant birthdays (Blessed Cult update #6)
Blessed Cult #7 is also lost to the sands of time, most likely because of gore. Which is a shame, because it was the season finale. I no longer have the imgur post, but the reddit post is still up. RIP.
Reddit post: All cults go to some heaven (Season 1 Finale)
Reddit post: We've been sent good weather (Blessed Cult Legacy Season 2)
Season 2 episode 2 is also gone probably for NSFW and nudity. F.
Reddit Post: Secret Life of a Gileadean Teenager (Blessed Cult 2.2)
Reddit post: Yellow Wallpaper (Blessed Cult 2.3)
After this point I lost everything on my computer up to about half a year and was so depressed by the loss that I dropped the series, and Sims in general, for several years. Here is the reddit post explaining that: A brief post about the Blessed Cult Legacy.
I had also created some builds for this save, some of which I posted about here when I returned to Sims from my hiatus (The great dump, parts 1, 2, and 3).
Besides the main house, there was a very large cathedral that was built and then revamped - only shared on reddit/imgur, as well as the main banqueting hall used for events:
Reddit post: Yacothia Cathedral - Blessed Cult Legacy
Reddit Post: Yacothia Cathedral Reboot - Blessed Cult
Reddit post: A post not about EA's latest fuckup. A nice neutral build post
The Future?
For the past few years I have actually been working on bringing the series back to some extent. I have several test saves, a google doc of a potential Handmaid's Tale legacy challenge, and Ive been communicating regularly with other simmers who have implemented the idea into their own games!
So keep an ear out, an eye open. And nolite te bastardes carborundorum.
#the sims 4#blessed cult legacy#sims 4 legacy#sims 4 story#sims 4 handmaid's tale#defunct builds#reticulating splines#not my usual post
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I've been thinking about Liv's timeline a lot lately, especially because NDA: Flatpack and O&F: Time Lord Immemorial seemed to contradict one another. But, I think I cracked it today, so buckle up!
For the run of this post humanoid Liv is referred to by name, her synthetic duplicate is referred to as Liv2!
PSA: beware there be spoilers in the abyss, up to and including Once & Future: Time Lord Immemorial. Tread with care if you are not caught up!
To make this post make sense it's important to establish Liv's timeline in chronological order as we know it.
Robophobia
Dark Eyes 1-2
Doctor Who: Short Trips: The World Beyond the Trees
Dark Eyes 2-4
Doom Coalition 1-4
Ravenous 1-2.1
The Robots 1-6
Ravenous 2.2-4
Stranded 1-4.4
The Eigth Doctor Adventures: What Lies Inside?
The Eigth Doctor Adventures: Connections
The Ninth Doctor Adventures: Hidden Depths 3.3: Flatpack
The audio is heavily implied to take place during Ravenous, the question is where! Anything before Ravenous is off the table as the timeline is too packed, leaving no space for episode of the week style adventures. Helen is present in O&F: Time Lord Immemorial for a brief moment meaning she's been picked up from Rykerzon, as happens in Ravenous 1.4: Sweet Salvation. This eradicates the audio taking place during or after Stranded.
This however creates a tough spot. In neither O&F: Time Lord Immemorial or NDA: Flatpack does Liv recognise the Ninth Doctor. If introduced to him at one point, she would know him the next time as neither adventure involves a plot point where she is made to forget, yet, she does not. This is where Liv2 comes in.
Liv2 was created during Liv's gap year old Kaldor, so that Tula would not be left alone to fix the mess that was created after the range's finale. For the creation of her, Liv's consciousness and all her memories up until that point were transferred to Liv2. This means that Liv2 has all memories up to The Robots 6.3: The Final Hour and what happened on Kaldor and beyond.
My hypothesis is that O&F: Time Lord Immemorial takes place between Ravenous 2.2: Better Watch Out and Ravenous 3.2: Companion Piece as there is the most leeway in this section - still, it is a tight fit. This period would mark the moment that Liv meets the Ninth Doctor - her synthetic duplicate would then have no knowledge of him at all.
Liv stays on Earth with the rest of the TARDIS fam during Stranded, afterwhich she leaves briefly in Stranded 4.4: Best Year Ever to have more adventures with the Doctor and Helen. When she returns to stay with Tania she appears a little more distant than previously, her dialogue reflects this, as she deflects any questions thrown her way. Nor is there a proper farewel for her, the Doctor and Helen - which always struck me as weird since they were practically family to her.
Tania: You came back? Liv: Yes, of course. I missed you. Tania: M-missed me? W-when did you leave? How long has it been? That wasn't as quick for you as it was for me, was it? Liv: Let's... let's... don't worry about that for now. Tania: The Doctor and Helen, are they-? Liv: Let's not worry about that either. I'm back and I am staying. For good.
Liv is deflective, and almost responds like she's only been told about what happened during Stranded, instead of having lived through it. We've known Liv to be evasive but she does not usually shy away from explaining something complicated. And yes, they were at the end of the runtime when doing this but it does not take away that the farewel felt off, and that the dialogue felt strained/forced.
It is this, combined with her odd comments as well as not knowing the Ninth Doctor in NDA: Flatpack that makes me believe that it is Liv2 who returns to Earth - for reasons unknown.
As before mentioned Liv does not recognise the Ninth Doctor - the only Liv in the universe who would not in this case is Liv2.
Additionally, during Flatpack at one point there is a scenario where there are two of Liv at the same time. The following dialogue ensues:
Tania: I don't know if this is a dream or a nightmare. Liv: I'm not sure how to take that.
At first I took this as Liv thinking highly of herself and being mildly offended that her partner isn't too sure about there being two of her. Then the Robots 6 released and I assumed with there having been two Livs since then, she took mild offence to it combined with there genuinely always having been two of her in the universe for as long as she's known Tania for.
But then O&F: Time Lord Immemorial came out, and Liv not recognising the Ninth Doctor conflicted with everything we knew happened up until then. Why would she not recognise the Doctor in Flatpack if she had clearly met him before?
So, what if Liv responds this way because she is Liv2, because she is the duplicate? What if the offense is extra personal?
There are a lot of unanswered questions in this. Liv2 stayed behind on Kaldor specifically to help Tula out, we don't know if and why she would return to Earth. We know how it would be because she woudl have been picked up and dropped off per TARDIS - presumably by the Doctor, though we know not which incarnation as we don't hear who drops her off. We don't know where human Liv would be in this scenario. She could be anywhere: on her own, off somewhere with Helen, stranded elsewhere, dead etc. There are limitless options.
Still, this was the only way I could figure out how canon would completely fit together properly without anything conflicting itself. I am aware that it is likely a writing/continuity error as the BTS of O&F: Time Lord Immemorial reveals it was Nicola Walker's (Liv) first time working with Christopher Eccleston (Nine), but I still wanted to see if I could make sense of it without it being an error.
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Hsr for the ask game thing! Or if it's been asked then hi3 :)
YAAAAAAAAAAAY RAMBLINGGGGGGG
the first character i ever fell in love with:
sampo :) i actually started playing hsr because of sampo! he just seemed like a silly little dude and i do tend to like the "goof but has some big lore potential going on". it took like a day of resisting to actually download the game lmao
a character that i used to love/like, but now do not:
Himeko..... I was actually really excited to get to know Himeko more when I had first started off. I mean come on: she's so beautiful! But laksjdfh I think overtime she eventually stopped standing out for me that I lost interest. That plus now that I've played HI3, the reason why I like HSR! Himeko feels like it's only because of HI3 Himeko and the importance of Himeko in the HI3 plot and for many characters' developments 😭 Sorry Himeko
a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not:
I guess KafHime tbh? I think aesthetically they're a very very pretty couple, but I just can't get behind it at all. Or I just have no reasons to get behind it since I'm not exactly invested in either characters. Though Kafka is definitely growing on me because I built her (accidental pull) and she's been doing such massive damage so like you know.
Even then I don't have anything to say about either characters aslkdjfa
my ultimate favorite character™:
surprise to no one it's Dan Heng ALKSJDFAKLSJH I can go on about why I like him, but tldr: I just got attached to him at a very very crucial point in my life and he's just a nice comfort character to me ^u^ I loved being able to get to know him further on the Luofu and all things about the High Cloud Quintet ! So... yeah :> also I miss him --
prettiest character:
IM STUCK BECAUSE I THINK DAN HENG IS SOOOOOO PRETTY BUT ALSO ARGENTIIIIIII ARGENTI IS SO BEAUTIFULLLL RADIANT KNIGHT WHO COMES WITH HIS OWN SPARKLES AND OURGHHHHHH
it's hard T _ T its very hard to tell T _ T
my most hated character:
I don't really have a character I hate. Just more disinterest towards. Dr. Ratio is definitely up there though (I ramble about him later lmao)
my OTP:
listen.... i know it has been a while.... but I still really love Serval/Cocolia. I rarely read fanfics aside from if its written by my friends but Servalia had me clawing through AO3 and Tumblr just to search for more fics for them. No one posts about them much anymore but I sure love them so much okay.
my NOTP:
i'm not going to say which ship but its one of the dan heng ships.
favorite episode:
I'll write this as "favorite update". Penacony has been suuuuch a fun ride honestly. So I'll say that entire section has been tons of fun. As of now I still haven't finished it in its entirety, but I can sense 2.2's story will probably be my favorite because I've been waiting to get to know Robin more and the Watchmaker!! But 2.1 has been fun because I just love seeing Acheron's section of it heheh :)
saddest death:
UHHH as of now, I think Aventurine's death in 2.1 was really sad :/ Hoyo did a really good job writing Aventurine and his story that once you get to the finale of the 2.1, I found myself kinda torn on how it ended. Aventurine who placed his bets on his own death because that is what his good luck is good for - winning against all odds. The epilogue scene with Aventurine walking off into the Nihility's shadow kinda got me too. And this is coming from someone who is like very.... meh on Aventurine? I can't really bring myself to get super invested in him but objectively, he is a really well thoughtout and well created character. I just have no feelings towards him.
favorite season:
I'll write this as "favorite area". It's still Penacony askldjfahlsk There's sooooo many things happening in Penacony and I loved being able to put the pieces together to figure out what's going on. It's also the first area that I had nearly read all the readables in because I'd make it my goal to finish reading every readable and 100% every area before the next update in Penacony :> I want to better understand the area I'm in and give myself ideas for where the story can go. The second area would have been Belobog because it's the only other area I was trying to 100% and read all the readables for (are the readables important in Belobog? no but some of them sure made me cry a bit LMAO)
least favorite season:
"Least favorite area" Honestly... Herta's Space Station. But that could also be because when I first started HSR, I was still orienting myself to the new world, so the space station is the least i remember. It's not that I hated it; it's trying to orient you into the new world and I was just confused for majority of it. I just don't remember enough about it nor about the people within it to care for it.
character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate:
Objectively: I'll say he's interesting and I am interested to see his development. But Dr. Ratio. I don't get it. I've seen people talk about him wanting education to be accessible to ALL which is GREAT but personality? Can't stand him.
my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave:
Ruan Mei my most beloved. I want more of her and I feel like we didn't get enough of her. She's just so interesting as a character and while she may not be the most caring of characters - and reasons why people shit on her - I still feel like her view as a character is interesting. And even her motives of wanting to become an Aeon. I want to understand her better. Why? What drove her to want to become so? I WANT TO UNDERSTAND YOU MISS
my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave:
not a beautiful cinnamon roll but she sure is beautiful but i love Jingliu 😭😭😭 one reason why i don't like interacting with majority of the fandom is because of their viewpoint on Jingliu's companion quest. I had way way clearer thoughts on the quest when it was fresh on my brain, but I actually liked it a lot more than the fandom let on about it, and I know that people were kinda shittalking about Jingliu afterwards and that made me Mad on her behalf because I think she's a really nicely thought out character. But then again, if you know me: white hair character who is defined by mourning and grief. you know the deal LKAJDHFALKJD
idk. I just feel like she deserves better than how the fandom treats her.
my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship:
I mean whatever the hell Rondo Across Countless Kalpas had going on, Black Swan/Acheron sure kinda has me feeling a way (in which i'd risk wanting a dance with Acheron. me too Black Swan LAKJDFALKS). Also in a way Servalia too I mean. You know.
my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship:
No one asked but I actually kinda lowkey ship Firefly/Robin. Like very very lowkey. My only reasoning is when 2.0 was fresh and i was in Mourning over Robin, I once sent a very giant and long essay to my friend N about me late night perusing and overanalyzing Firefly and Robin's deaths. like why specifically them ? Why did they have to die?
I took it in a very symbolic matter. I thought too much about Firefly's monologue about her answer to "Why do people slumber?" and her answer being "Because people are afraid to be awake" or something like that. And about how it was "If I can stop one heart from breaking" that played in the background of all this - a song that praises the comforts of a dream in the face of bleakness. In both cases, in my view, it felt like having both of them die at least in that update, the deaths also seemed to signal the idea of ceasing this concept of a dream and to face reality etc.
And that's something I'm super excited about based on where i am with HSR with arguing with Sunday over the concept of comfort vs freedom.
BUT BACK TO THE POINT OF THIS QUESTION: this concept and me fixating on their meanings, it gave me a reason to kinda put Firefly/Robin together. It's kinda nice parallel with each other in a way haha
#you know actually writing about jingliu made me laugh for a split second and then had fear instill in me#mostly because i remember posting the 'i am never listening to fandom again :D'#and then tuesday going '...is this about jingliu' ALSDKJFADLKJH#man i miss tuesday LASJKDAFH i miss talking to her about hsr. if no one got me ik tuesday got me (in opinions asldkjfa)#the fear instill in me is the 'oh my fucking god not the white hair characters who is just way too deep into their mourning'#im going to blow something up brb#EVERYWHERE I GO I SEE HIM GO TF AWAY (KICKS HIM)#answered#sofia tag#THANKS SOFIA#also im sorry please dont hit me
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Seemingly Smart
It’s when you realize that pop culture is driving product introductions, you begin to wonder if companies have it all wrong. In an ideal world, marketers would be creating culture with their products, not responding to it. Alas, it just doesn’t work that way all the time these days. Make that even some of the time.
Take, for example, Heinz’s knee-jerk response to what happened at the Kansas City Chiefs game this last Sunday. I’m pretty sure the whole world knows by now that Taylor Swift attended the game, and was seen fanboying her latest alleged crush, Travis Kelce, from the family skybox.
While camera crews were focusing intently on T-Swift, the internet was more concerned with what she was eating, which, as reported in a fan account, was “chicken tenders, ketchup, and seemingly ranch.”
Rather than let an opportunity pass them by, Heinz must have ordered its marketing staff to work nonstop until they figured out a way to capitalize on something that could easily tie to their core product, which, of course, is ketchup. Those marketing people came up with a ketchup and “seemingly ranch” blend, which will be limited to a production run of 100 bottles available via their Instagram account. If you’re one of the lucky ones, that is.
Of course, Heinz did not need to put their food scientists on overtime, because they actually already sell a product that is…well…ketchup and ranch. Available since 2019, Kranch meets the needs and wants of those who like to mix condiments. They just do the heavy lifting for you.
All of which means that the marketing people only had to come up with a new label for this gimmicky item, and then let the media do all the rest. It is brilliant marketing in many regards, even if the phrase will have a shelf life of about a week max. If it steers more people to the real Kranch, then good for Heinz. But it will take more marketing than just this in the long run.
And we still don’t have a firm answer for all the inquiring minds: Are Swift and Kelce dating?
More than anything, Heinz’ response shows just how powerful pop culture is, especially internet culture. As they said on The Morning Brew Daily yesterday, “Internet culture IS culture.” I tend to agree, even if the marketers are put in the sometimes unenviable position of having to respond to it. It’s like the tail wagging the dog.
The problem is that internet culture changes fast. Very fast. Today’s hot meme is next week’s yawn. Anything buzzworthy now is old news even by lunch tomorrow. Even the fastest marketer risks putting effort into something that has already started to fade.
As for Heinz, good on them for recognizing this for what it is: it’s a viral story, one they could capitalize on, but not spend a lot of money doing so. And therein is the lesson. If you find the tail wagging you, then do everything possible not to oscillate out of control.
I realize it is tempting to want to hitch your wagon to anything Swift is doing these days. Her Eras Tour is set to rake in $2.2 billion in ticket sales in North America alone, earning it honors as highest-grossing concert tour ever. Then factor in all the merch sold, hotels, meals, and so forth, and you realize just what an economic impact this one person has. You go, Heinz. Taylor Swift is golden right now. You may go a long time before an opportunity like this lands in your lap.
Me, I’ll stick with Franch, the fictitious condiment parodied on a Breaking Bad episode a decade ago. I don’t need to tell you what’s in it. And if Heinz had been paying attention then, they could have easily come to market with it, or at least staged an Instagram contest.
Then again, neither Walt nor Jesse are anywhere near as attractive—or culturally powerful—as Taylor Swift.
Dr “Pop Goes The Culture” Gerlich
Audio Blog
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Hello!! 👋
Tell us about yourself: She/her in her early 40's (!! when did THAT happen), mother to two small humans. Born in New York, lived some other places did some other things, back in New York now. Would love to go live places again sometime with my kids.
When and in what form were you introduced to Good Omens: Came for David and stayed for Michael (and Neil). I actually found it late last year after watching David's run as the 10th Doctor and had the neurodivergent need to watch everything I could that he's ever been in. Ironically, at around the same time, I started reading American Gods. A lovely cocktail of Good Omens goodness from all sides.
Have you recommended/watched GO with friends or family and how did they respond: I have gotten at least three, maybe four people to watch it. Everyone's liked it, but no one close to my level of obsession.
When did the brainrot take over? aka at what point did your obsession start: It started after I watched the trailer for Season 2. I think I started following the Good Omens official social media accounts at the same time, and damn, those guys were good. I rewatched the first season before the second season and was obsessed.
Which is your favorite episode: So I have two. Because, Hard Times is obviously the best episode of the show. No question. But I also really love 2.2 The Clue (Feat. A Companion to Owls). Bildad, Turtleneck Crowley, the chest caress at the pub, the Ox rib, Our car, Ty Tennant. I mean, both of these episodes jam so much iconic parts of the show in under 60 minutes. I love them both dearly.
Now word vomit about how much you love the series/characters and tell us what they mean to you: At some point in October of last year I sat down at my computer and started to write some ideas that I could not get out of my head to save my life. They were in response to a bunch of Metas I saw on Tumblr about the final 15, and I just needed to speak in the voices of these characters and see both of their points of view. That turned into the first chapter of a 20 chapter fic I ended up writing. It was the first thing I wrote in almost twenty years and the only thing I haven't written for some kind of class. And let me tell you, that is completely outside of my comfort zone.
And I loved every second of it, and it brought me so much joy that I can't even really express, because it reminded me of something I used to love that I had forgotten. And I see that sentiment a lot on Tumblr, people who have found their long forgotten passions from this show. It's really amazing.
Hey Good Omens Fandom! While we're waiting for Season Three, let's get to know each other! This isn't a tagging game, so everyone is encouraged to share their answers. Let's get started with The Basics:
Tell us about yourself:
When and in what form were you introduced to Good Omens:
Have you recommended/watched GO with friends or family and how did they respond:
When did the brainrot take over? aka at what point did your obsession start:
Which is your favorite episode:
Now word vomit about how much you love the series/characters and tell us what they mean to you:
Click here to copy questions, then reblog and add your answers! Or go back to the original post to start a fresh chain. Please tag with good omens ask series for anyone wants to filter this post!
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CANGEL APPRECIATION WEEK 2022 Day 04 (Oct 20th) ♥ A Moment That Made You Smile ⏤ 2.02 “Are You Now or Have You Ever Been”
#cangel#cangelappreciationweek2022#ats#atsedit#cordelia x angel#cordy chase#cangeledit#dailyats#90sedit#usercande#tuserjana#usersiesie#userellie2#tvedit#dailytvfilmgifs#season 2#episode: 2.2 are you now or have you ever been#by skipps#our posts
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2.10 sneak peek mini-meta (1/2)
So I woke up this morning to a proper storm in my DMs, and after screaming myself hoarse and drinking a cup of coffee, it’s time to get to work.
And yes, there’s going to be two posts, because my life is pain.
(Huge spoilers under the cut, obviously.)
I’m sure by now, you’ve all seen the sneak peek, but if not, go watch it!
Obvious warning: this post is full-on galaxy brain speculation.
Look up, Jean-Luc
Let’s be honest, we’re all here for Qcard. So better start with that.
Q and Picard are finally, finally going to have a conversation. Long overdue, but chances are, it’ll pay off massively. In episode 2.1 Soji told us so,
“You can’t ask for trust through an interpreter. (...) True connection can only be forged when the heart has spoken.”
And this is it, isn’t it? The moment of truth.
Also, and I can’t overstate how important this is:
Jean-Luc is looking up at Q.
A long time ago, all the way back in 2.5, @celestialwarzone saw it coming, because she’s an absolute genius:
“(...) notice the camera angle on the latter two shots, which looks at him from underneath?
“The only way to be truly free is to love nothing. How meaningless would that be?”
Neither [Q nor Soong] can understand that. (...) But there is someone who could understand this. Someone who’s never allowed himself to love, and whenever he briefly has, it’s with “those that would only ever be temporary.”
… Someone, perchance, that is shorter than Q… who would have to look up at him.“
(She’s brilliant, what can I tell you. It’s a curse. Also, read the whole post, it’s much better in its complete form.)
This brings us back to the most important words of the whole season:
“Look up”: two words said to Jean-Luc by his beloved mother which have shaped his past and now possibly will shape his future.
We’ve known since episode 2.7 that Q is the sun. A lonely, dying star, whose exquisite light has been shining on Jean-Luc for years.
Something in Picard has always known it, although he’s always held himself back from it.
But he’s always looked up at the stars from afar. Longing to join them. And in season 1, they told us so outright.
@ellewood117 did an excellent job rewatching season 1 for clues, and she pointed me toward this conversation between Picard and Laris in 1.3:
"Then you won't miss it? Any of it?" (...)
"I tried my best, to belong to this place. But I don't think I ever truly felt at home here."
"I supposed you always had one eye on the stars."
And then Jean-Luc gazes up at the stars with such intense longing on his face:
And now? Now Jean-Luc is looking up at his very own star.
Finally seeing where he belongs: at home in the stars, with Q.
(I’m not crying, you’re crying. Fine, we’re all crying.)
The rule of three
That face touching, though. I legit screamed.
I had been saving this tidbit for my 2.1 retrospective, but we may as well have some fun now.
Remember in 2.1 when Laris confesses her feelings for Picard?
Picard is tempted. He leans in, his fingers almost touching Laris’ face...
But he doesn’t touch her. And later in 2.2, Q reaches out in a similar fashion, but also stops shy of touching Jean-Luc’s face.
A beautiful mirror, but I’d been waiting for the final face touch. Because writers love doing things in threes. It’s a major writing and narrative technique called the rule of three,
The rule of three is a writing principle that suggests that a trio of events or characters is more humorous, satisfying, or effective than other numbers.
The first two attempts always fail, and here the pattern holds: both times, the person reaching out stops themselves before touching the other. Both times, they only reach out with one hand.
That’s because the third repetition is the most important. The one that matters, the one that saves the day, the one that fixes everything.
And so, we needed a third. I had been waiting for it, hoping for it.
Well, here we are. And of course it’s Q-card:
And this time, they are touching. And Q reached out with both hands.
Third time’s the charm, folks.
(The mirroring was already very loud. Now it’s just screaming continuously).
A last surprise
Q tells Picard,
“I have a last surprise in store.”
Hey, remember my Trios-Qcard meta? In a truly galaxy brain moment, I wrote this:
A bar is metaphorical neutral grounds.
So, at the end of everything, somewhere neutral where they can be themselves, Q tells Picard something about himself he had never known, had never let himself know:
That Q loves him.
And here we are folks, galaxy braining our little hearts out. I never imagined that the bar would be Maman’s winter garden, but hey, I’m not complaining.
With all the Maman/Q mirroring we’ve had, and considering she killed herself there, there’s actually nowhere else that fits better.
It’s a goddamn solarium. And look, the sun is shining...
As is Q’s infinite love for Jean-Luc. His exquisite light literally shining upon them both.
(I can’t breathe.)
All right, so the Trios/Qcard mirroring is moving firmly out of galaxy brain and into realistic territory. But wait, we’ve had had two Trios scenes that heavily mirrored Qcard, actually:
One where Teresa-Picard asks Q-Rios for a fundemental, deep truth
One where Teresa-Picard desperately begs Q-Rios to stay with her
Two is nice, but three is better, so let’s bring in another aspect of the rule of three, shall we,
The first two instances build tension, and the third releases it by incorporating a twist.
The twist here may well be that we ditch the mirroring entirely and just go Qcard outright: Q telling Jean-Luc that he loves him but must leave him forever, and Picard refusing to let him go but having no choice in the matter.
Because the Q-bayashi Maru is coming.
(We’re all going to expire next week, folks.)
Three of three
So at this point, we may well find ourselves with two examples of the rule of three. Why not go full galaxy brain and rule of three the rule of three, know what I mean?
So for our third and last entry, let’s think for a second. What other romantic moment have we seen or will see soon?
Oh yeah, first kisses:
(Notice the face touching? I’m screaming.)
I don’t want to get your hopes up. Nor mine, for that matter. Even if they do take Qcard canon, we may not get a kiss until the end of season 3.
Or ever!
Still. I can’t help it. I may be galaxy braining too close to the sun here (😭), but I can’t stop thinking about it.
(Oh and if “Non, je ne regrette rien” starts playing as they kiss and/or Q dies, and Picard wakes up on the Stargazer with the song playing as in episode 2.1? I’ll kill everyone and then myself. Fair warning.)
That’s all, for now. There’ll likely be another post coming later, because we’ve been fed with this sneak peek. And I can’t wait.
Read more:
[Part 2]
#star trek#star trek picard#star trek picard spoilers#star trek spoilers#qcard#qcard meta#q of the continuum#q star trek#jean luc picard
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I agree with the anon on the pacing and you on the lack of character depth. It’s absolutely wild watching Legend of the Sea Devil and having it feel like it’s trying to rush through the story even though it’s longer than a normal episode and it feels like, in the end, nothing had happened?? It almost felt like a first draft of the script and they hadn’t been given a chance to give it a proper rewrite.
However, I feel like I’m the odd man out on this one, but I’m actually nervous for Ace and Tegan to show up. I was already dreading this final episode as I haven’t enjoyed Chibnall’s take on the Master or the ridiculous Cyber Lords or whatever he’s calling them, but to add in two more characters, particularly nostalgia characters, just gives me flashbacks to when he brought back Jack for *checks notes* no reason whatsoever.
It’s really frustrating because I haven’t hated every moment of the Chibnall era, and I certainly don’t put any blame on Jodie as the Doctor, but I am very wary of how this final episode is going to go.
I'm with you on both accounts. The episode was just...there? The Sea Devil costumes were amazing and loved the idea of them controlling a pirate ship. I understand this was a joint episode between Ella Road and Chris Chibnall, but part of me really wishes he would just let other writers write their own episodes in the series without him working in partnership. Like Moffat and RTD had other writers in! Let them do their own thing.
The other problem I have with Chibnall which I have discussed a few times before, He just doesn't do character development or science fiction. At best, he is best writing for soap drama and even then, not the best episodes he's ever written.
I've read better fanfiction of Doctor Who than Chibnall's writing that has better understanding of the characters and better plotting and pacing, and that's saying something.
But I agree with you about Tegan and Ace. I so desperately want to be excited for them, but I did not like the way he handled Kate despite the fact he was the one to ironically bring her in the Power of Three. I think Chibnall is bringing the Lone Cyberman (although I'm sure he was minuteriased by the Master previously?), the Master, Tegan and Ace back to bring back in the ratings as last night viewing figures were pretty dire-2.2 Million. I don't want Doctor Who cancelled as I do truly love the show despite the fact it has been through a rough patch, but I think RTD is the only one now who can bring it back to the standard it once was.
#asks#dw negativity#anti chibnall#also remember folks please dont send any hate to cast and cre#crew#no matter how terrible the episodes are#i may dislike chris chibnall a great deal#but i would never send anyone hate over the fact i dislike the way they handle the show
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I clearly have not been as active on here this year, but… why not? Let’s do this!
I posted 162 times in 2021
50 posts created (31%)
112 posts reblogged (69%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 2.2 posts.
I added 357 tags in 2021
#critical role - 74 posts
#beauyasha - 66 posts
#beauregard lionett - 59 posts
#cr spoilers - 49 posts
#yasha nydoorin - 42 posts
#cracklepop - 24 posts
#critical role spoilers - 12 posts
[redacted] - 11 posts
#voice of the heart - 10 posts
#whumptober2021 - 10 posts
Yeah, one of those tags I redacted because, well, I think they would rather I not accidentally tag them. Don’t ask why, I won’t answer. So… yeah.
Longest Tag: 106 characters
#beau goes full karen and shuts down lucien's mindgames through sheer sapphic willpower and sharp wit alone
Gaslight. Girlkeep. Girlboss. That’s our Expositor!
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Sight Beyond Sight (Long Post, Spoilers to C2E134)
So... there’s a general consensus that Caleb might have Truesight now, as he was able to notice something that no one else picks up on, both when Jester was using Commune and Scrying. And that of course could be a boon from the eyes. But he hasn’t shared this with the others yet. That said, I wonder if there is more to that.
In addition to the potential for Truesight, I think Matt may have also given Caleb the Eldritch Adept feat and picked the Eldritch Sight invocation for at-will Detect Magic. Because in 134, he’s seen utilizing Detect Magic more than once but not as a ritual, as Liam did not mention that it was being ritual cast but rather as a quick action. Either he was just expending 1st-level slots to cast as normal, and not taking 10 minutes... or he is able to use them at will, no spell slots required.
Also, assuming they're already getting boons, I wonder if Beau herself was given Devil's Sight, which is 120 ft. of darkvision even in magical darkness. It’s just that she doesn't know it yet because she's been wearing her goggles of night, which ironically stack with anyone else’s existing darkvision (i.e. someone with 60 feet of darkvision gets an additional 60 with the goggles for 120, 120 gets 180, and so on).
So... what if next episode she gives out her goggles again, either to Veth or Caduceus, but immediately after realizes that even after removing them, her sight is still able to pick out things in the dark?
After all, Lucien seemed to imply something: “You can see quite a bit with two eyes. Imagine what you can see with three.” So... what if she had darkvision ever since her second eye was bestowed to her, with a third potentially giving her more, but she was able to resist before she got it?
Yeah, one of those tags I redacted because, well, I think they would rather I not accidentally tag them. Soasking Caleb if he has a similar "gift". And depending on whether he wants to answer or not, it would finally answer a burning question we’ve had about the eyes for so long: what they can be capable of, even with only two (or three, depending on how that dream went).
103 notes • Posted 2021-04-17 18:59:38 GMT
Welp. I was not that far off in terms of what they got. In fact, some of it I was actually spot-on! But even so, I was still thrown for a loop!
#4
(Love)birds of a feather, Generations Apart: A Parallel between Vaxleth and Beauyasha (SPOILERS for C1E65 and C2E126)
So... as the title suggests, I've realized upon several rewatches of Beau and Yasha’s amazing first date that it actually has unintentional parallels to the moment where Keyleth confessed her feelings to Vax. Bear with me as I take the time to share as many of the parallels as I can recall off the top of my head.
#1: Taking place in the midst of THE first big world-changing arc of the campaign, full of so many things at stake.
The Chroma Conclave arc.
vs.
The Somnovem arc.
#2: Still in mourning over the loss of a friend.
Vax and Keyleth mourning the death of Tiberius.
vs.
Beau and Yasha still mourning the loss of Mollymauk.
#3: Mutual wingmen supporting them in their coming together.
Keyleth: "I had an interesting talk with Pike here recently, and she said something that really stood out to me, and that was that some people just have more of themselves to give."
vs.
Beau: "I told Caleb, since I wanted to start over, I wanted to start over. So my request was a little bit of a walkthrough of places we’ve been and some of our favorite hiding spots."
#4: Grateful for any reason to be together... but even so, a declaration leading to a love confession. A declaration that has that feeling of, "Yeah, I know. You said your piece, now let me say mine because I'm done hiding."
Vax: "It doesn't matter to me what this is. What we call it. If you are willing to spend some time, any time, with me, then I will simply count myself lucky to have it. You're very dear to me."
Keyleth: "You're talking too much".
vs.
Beau: "I just want you to know, just before we continue this... whatever this night is, that I have no expectations and... at the end of all this, if it just... you have the reassurance of knowing that I'm somebody that you can come and talk to, if you need to, and that's... that's enough for me."
Yasha: "I feel the same way... but at the same time..."
#5: Regrets about being distant... and no more hiding.
Vax: "I know with all that's happened, between my new patron and my sister pretending to gag literally every time we attempt to share a word together, and mostly my own being fucked up in the head for weeks now, that I've pushed all of you away. You most of all. Because I've been afraid you would-- I'm sorry. And you didn't deserve any of that."
Keyleth: "For the longest time, I was terrified that I was going to lose you. First to death and then to the Raven Queen, which is still kind of like death, and then ultimately to yourself. [Then the aforementioned recollection of Pike.] And I realized this whole time that I was afraid of losing you to a future that ultimately has not yet been written, which is stupid."
vs.
Beau: "When I was in Kamordah, that fear of losing this family? I almost sabotaged it. Just so I wouldn't have to deal with the angst and the anguish of wondering if and when and how this family will fall apart. Like ripping off a band-aid that was never there, or I guess over a wound that was never there. Just trying to rip it off for the pain and nothing else."
Yasha: "I've been trying to keep my distance from you when I found out that he was listening and they were watching, but... I've had a lot of people in my head and I don't want to give them you. I don't want them to know that I care about you, because I don't know if they're going to use that in some way. But... fuck it, I guess."
#6: Confessions that catch the other off-guard, or even the one confessing is taken aback, and then the mutual reciprocation that acts as a balm of relief.
Liam actually answered in an AMA that he was taken by surprise but in-character and out when Keyleth confessed to Vax. Keyleth, however, was very much done with hiding. Vax’s response happens when the dust settles and he fully processes what he had just heard:
Keyleth: “But you're ultimately right. We have nothing to lose. I love you, Vax. And I'm sorry for being me, that it took me this long to say it.“
Vax: “(laughs) I’m sorry.
Keyleth: ”Yeah. Me too.”
Vax: “I love you. That's pretty fucking great.”
Keyleth: “That is pretty great, yeah!”
vs.
Yasha surprises HERSELF as she blurts out when she fell in love with Beau, who is also a little taken aback. And Yasha didn't intend to let it all out like that.
Beau’s response happens long after the (glittering) dust settles and they’re in the hot tub:
Yasha: “Things really changed for me when we went to Kamordah. And I saw you with your family and I got a glimpse into how your world was growing up and... (sigh) I fell in love with you in Kamordah.”
(later on, in the Steam’s Respite recreation)
Beau: “Hey.”
Yasha: “Hey.”
Beau: “I love you, too.”
Yasha: “That’s the best thing I’ve ever heard.”
#7: Wings, of course. Also... Liam, Ashley, and Marisha: all three of them having an effect on both pairings.
Vax has wings. Yasha has wings.
And both are love interests of Marisha's PCs.
Pike through her everlit heart and empathy helping Keyleth and Vax overcome their fears and eventually come together.
vs.
Caleb through his love language of magic helping Beau and Yasha find a moment of happiness and safety so they can overcome their fears and eventually come together.
#8: A mutual embrace of love that transitions to the end of a scene.
Vax tackles Keyleth onto his bed, they no doubt cuddle well into the night among other things to cement their newfound bond as lovers... and the "pan to the fireplace".
vs.
Beau holds Yasha close, they enjoy the show of fireworks before later "reflecting" on their newfound bond as lovers... and the steam covering the camera.
Even if the characters are different... some things somehow remain the same, even campaigns apart... even unintentionally. And it is these coincidences that I love about Critical Role and just... role-playing as a whole.
115 notes • Posted 2021-02-21 01:06:05 GMT
Don’t you just love it when your two OTPs have so much in common?
#3
Thoughts on the Very Important Date (C2E126 SPOILERS)
Long post. You've been warned.
The Beauyasha of it all in this episode was so amazing. The perfect payoff after three years of one of the slowest burns in CR history.
First off... Veth being a good mother figure to Beau, giving the monk her full support in seeking a date with Yasha, the two of them hugging it out. Also, Veth's comment that Beau could afford to let her guard down for once and be "likable". Normally, one could see that as being an absolute troll comment, much like all of the jabs he had made out of love and humor at their expense. But... Beau processed that differently because for the first time, someone basically said that it's okay to be honest and vulnerable because she knows Yasha won't judge her for it. And also, Marisha surprising Sam with a bit of trolling of her own, having revealed that she already DID plan a moment. Several, in fact.
Next... Caleb choosing to prioritize his sister's happiness over his own goals by relinquishing the tower for a night for her and Yasha. There's no guarantee as to whether they'll have another night like this, so better now than never. Also, despite his great discomfort, he allowed the cats to become dachshunds instead, because Yasha is such a dog lover as is Ashley. (Also, I totally thing the dachsies are a reference to Liam's own puppy, Sprigg.)
Next... the date itself. A lot of folks, myself included, assumed so many things about what could happen. But I think it's safe to say that it turned out to be NOTHING like what we expected. But also, in a way, precisely what we expected. Beau and Yasha, once they got past their initial nerves and awkwardness, were able to have such an extended moment to themselves: the entire second half to themselves. And through this second half... walls were torn down, band-aids were ripped off, and they became so open, so vulnerable, so... so... honest. About a lot of things.
They bared it all: heart, body, and soul.
Beau once again telling Yasha to not blame herself for the times they were forced to fight. Confiding that she's scared of the unknown about what they have yet to face. Expressing her relief about the revelations surrounding her kidnapping last episode, and saying that any last reservations she had about the Cobalt Soul were banished upon hearing that what she had said was taken seriously. Confiding and admitting to Yasha - and to herself - how foolish it was of her that she almost destroyed this familial bond she forged with the Nein, all because she was scared. Giving Yasha an out in case this whole night goes elsewhere, that even if Yasha doesn't feel the same way, at least she's got someone to talk to. Allowing herself to be this open and frank about everything, taking Veth's advice to heart and letting the walls crumble. And to her vast relief, she felt loved and appreciated.
Yasha admitting that she had kept her distance because she wanted to keep Beau safe from Lucien, but realizing that it's far too late. Confiding in Beau about the time she and Molly first met, in the wastes of Xhorhas, and how despite loving everyone in the circus... the Nein feel like an actual family. Confessing that everything changed for her in Kamordah, as that was when she fell in love with her. That moment paints a lot of her moments since then in a new light, sometimes heartbreaking, sometimes funny, sometimes heartwarming. Telling Beau how proud she is of her, telling her that all of her growth she accomplished on her own. Admitting that she always came back to the Nein because she is terrified that she can't survive losing them, just like when she lost Zuala and Molly. Understanding that her "purpose" that so many others asked of her, asking what it was, is simply to protect. To keep everyone safe and alive.
And then... the yearning and pining finally reached critical mass as THEY HAD THEIR FIRST KISS! The moment alone was such a dose of ambrosia after so many false starts and so many unwanted interruptions. The play-fight against the ninja dogs was amazing as well as it allowed the Sentinels to be so playful and extra as hell.
The reproduction of the Steam's Respite bathhouse, and Caleb's deviation from Beau's instructions of having lioness masseuses instead of dogs present, knowing that she'd forgive it. "Besides, what better gift could I offer the Lionett?" The fireworks above the tub as Beau and Yasha cuddled and kissed once more. And Beau finally allowing herself, without any trace of fear or hesitation, to be lucky in love. And she got to be held through the show.
"I love you, too." / "That's the best thing I've ever heard."
And the capstone of this extensive moment? The stained-glass window above the fireplace in Beau's chambers showing her hand linked with Yasha's.
Sentinel Babes becoming Sentinel Girlfriends. And lovers.
It was THE perfect episode to consummate all the yearning and pining. The heartbreak and healing. The loss and love. I couldn't imagine this going any more perfectly for them.
Beauregard Lionett. Yasha Nydoorin.
Two souls, broken and damaged, yet still finding each other and coming closer, one step at a time.
All it took was one night for it all to come to fruition.
It was the perfect first date... and the perfect first night of the rest of their lives. Together.
117 notes • Posted 2021-02-22 18:07:28 GMT
Best. Date. Ever.
#2
https://twitter.com/Tiamat_ZX/status/1448123397339291649?s=20
“She said a young beau will take on the great name, to continue this success, until everything, eventually, will humble me by that which I desired most. […] And the fact that it all worked means I don't know what else she took, and I don't know what's coming to humble me, and I just want to protect my family.”
“Maybe I'm the one that's sent to humble you.”
And that you were, Beauregard Lionett. And because of your bravery, you not only saved yourself, you saved your mother and brother. You made it possible for your mother to start anew, quite possibly even take steps to reconnect with you as a family. Because she’s not dismissing her share of the blame, she’s accepting it and making amends.
Whereas Thoreau Lionett will just wither away and fade from obscurity, forever humbled and miserable, just as the prism sage foretold.
He was no real lion, just a mewling cub.
The rest of the family, though… they’re a true pride.
I was right to believe in Clara being redeemable. Thanks to her daughter’s testimony against him, his lies and true colors were exposed, and she up and left her husband and took TJ with her. Thus leaving him alone in an empty house.
The possibility now exists for them to reconnect. A far better hope than being forever trapped in a gilded cage of a loveless house.
146 notes • Posted 2021-10-13 18:55:01 GMT
I was right to believe in Clara Lionett and her redemption. I was right to believe. And she deserves her second chance, she deserves to accept her faults and work to atone and one day reconnect. Far more effort than Thoreau Lionett will EVER do.
#1
If Yasha had any hope left of Molly still being in Lucien... he just killed it the moment he tried to murder the second love of her life. So... from this point on, the gloves are off and she is going to murder him for daring to harm her Beau.
Worst idea to piss off the angel-blood, Nonagon. The Worst Idea.
194 notes • Posted 2021-01-29 09:12:18 GMT
Welp. THIS post aged poorly because she still had hope, albeit it WAS complicated.
And that’s it! See you in 2022… whenever I choose to post more stuff.
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
#my 2021 tumblr year in review#your tumblr year in review#Critical Role#Beauyasha#beauregard lionett#yasha nydoorin#Cracklepop#cr spoilers#the mighty nein
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When the Universe Collides (Sam Wilson x Reader)
Summary: Every person has a soulmate. When your soulmate experiences pain, so do you, and any bruises, scars, or other markings that they get appear on your skin. Or, the story of how smacking yourself in the face with a cabinet was the best thing to ever happen to you.
Notes: Hi! Since the first episode of Falcon and the Winter Soldier comes out today, I wanted to write something for Sam! He’s super underrated and deserves more love! Also, this soulmate AU is extremely self-indulgent and has absolutely nothing to do with the TV show, but tbh I don’t care. Hope you all enjoy it too! (no y/n, no pronouns) (PS: any italicized text is Sam texting and the italicized and bold text is the reader texting!)
Warnings: mentions of a stab wound (nothing explicit), cursing I guess
WC: 2.2 k
Your soulmate must have one hell of a job.
Almost every day, you woke up with dark bruises covering your body. It seemed that whenever one faded, another took its place. At completely random times, you would double over in aches that you certainly didn’t inflict upon yourself. One time, in the middle of the night, you woke up with pain in your stomach so intense, it felt like someone had stabbed you! It turned out that it was a stab wound, but given that no one had stabbed you lately (or ever), you figured it was from your soulmate. You definitely didn’t appreciate that hospital bill.
But you still desperately wanted to meet them. Meet that person that completed you: your other half. As a teenager, you made your parents tell you the story of the day they finally met so many times, you knew it by memory. They were both in the library at college, and your mom dropped a psychology textbook on her foot! Her howl of pain was only matched by the “SON OF A BITCH” that came from your dad on the opposite side of the library. When the two of them made eye contact, they instantly knew they were the ones for each other (they were also immediately kicked out for making such a ruckus). You wanted to have that moment so badly; meeting your soulmate was a huge milestone in every person’s life, and you needed it.
Your best friend and roommate, Brianna, had met hers just two months ago. They had met at the beach, when out of nowhere, Bri had shrieked in shock and pain.
“A crab just pinched me!”
When you had looked at her foot and told her nothing was there, she was totally confused, until you saw a handsome guy with a crab hanging from his foot! He had introduced himself as Julian, and the two had been inseparable since. He was living with you now, and you had honestly never felt more lonely in your life. Sure, you had your dream career; you ran a music shop in New York City, selling instruments, making repairs, and meeting all sorts of interesting people. You had a decent apartment, a chill best friend, and the cutest Yorkie, named Muffin, on the planet. By all accounts, you had it pretty good. You were just missing your other half.
It was a rainy day in NYC. The chill of winter was still clinging onto the March air, and you shivered as you trudged from your apartment to your shop. Even though you had an umbrella to protect you from the rain, the wind blew right through the too-thin jacket you yanked off of the coatrack in a rush. Still holding your half-eaten toaster strudel in your hand, you pushed open the doors to Major Instruments and Minor Repairs, your pride and joy.
It was two floors: the first was where you sold instruments, and the repair shop was above. Acoustic panels were attached to the burnt red walls to help quiet down the place, since the hardwood floors didn’t do much to help with that. The checkout desk was directly in the center in the room. Surrounding it were reeds, bottles of valve oil, and guitar strings. Picks were placed in two clear, plastic bowls on the desk itself. In the front left corner of the room was a grand piano, situated right in the window so passersby could see whenever someone plucked its keys. The entire back wall was covered in guitars and basses. To the right of the desk was a large drumset, accompanied by a pair of drumsticks and brushes. On the right wall were string instruments; string basses and cellos were leaned against the wall, while the violins, violas, and bows were displayed on it. Woodwind and brass instruments were scattered across the room in various display cases. Instrument stands, bow rosin, and miscellaneous instrument parts were on shelves throughout the room as well. The spiral staircase leading up to the repair shop was in the back left corner of the room. Behind the staircase was the door to the back store room, where you kept your extra supplies and also where you took your breaks.
“Good morning!” called Andrew, one of your closest friends from college, from behind the desk.
You waved in reply, wandering to the back store room. You were lucky you had Andrew; you could rely on him to run the front desk while you and Brianna assisted customers on the floor. Unfortunately, Bri had the flu today, so it would just be you on the floor, which would make things a little more hectic. You hurriedly finished your strudel, took off your jacket, which left you in a black and white flannel, a matching black tank top reading “Music is Life,” black leggings, and black combat boots (you had an aesthetic to uphold), and strode back out to the main area.
“You seem in a bit of a rush. Everything okay?” asked Andrew, who was currently restocking bell covers.
You sighed, “Just a whirlwind of a morning. Bri has the flu, Muffin nearly choked on a chicken bone, I almost burned my toaster strudel, and I smacked myself in the face with my cabinet door by accident.”
“Oh, that’s where the new bruise on your eye is from,” he mused.
You snorted, “Yeah, for once it’s not from my soulmate.”
“Maybe he’s a spy. Or a superhero!”
“Yeah, or a criminal,” you joined in on the restocking, grabbing some trumpet mutes since the place opened in just half an hour, “thanks for opening up, by the way.”
“It’s no problem,” he replied, “you know I don’t mind.”
The doorbell jingled and two of your instrument repair people, Sarah (for strings), and Natalie (for brass), entered. Natalie was lugging what was unmistakably a tuba case, while Sarah carried both of their instrument repair kits.
“Morning, ladies!” called Andrew.
“Good morning,” Sarah replied pleasantly.
Natalie huffed out a “morning” and dragged the tuba up the stairs.
“Her tuba’s broken. The tubing that holds up her mouthpiece completely snapped off. She’s going to try and repair it before her appointments today,” explained Sarah.
You winced, “That’s rough.”
Sarah dropped off both of their jackets and followed Natalie up the stairs leaving you alone with Andrew again. Soon after, Erik, your percussion guy, and John, the woodwind repairman, arrived, and it was time for the shop to open. For a while, it was just another mundane Thursday. Customers came and went. People tested the piano and drumsets, someone bought $100 worth of jazz scores, and a teenaged boy came in who somehow got a ping pong ball stuck in their trombone (you learned to never ask). But at exactly 1:47 pm, a time you would never forget, two very unexpected customers walked through the threshold of your store. You were up on a ladder, carrying a large, rather heavy, box of violin bows to situate on the wall, when you heard their voices.
“I’m telling you, Buck, I’m a wizard at the saxophone.”
“Sure, Sam. I’ll believe it when I hear it.”
“I’m serious, dude! I played all the time before I joined the military, and I picked it back up a little bit again after the whole Avengers thing. I just need to get a new one.”
“Hmm, okay. We’ll see.”
“Bastard.”
You whipped your head around and saw the Falcon and the Winter Soldier themselves in your shop. Having superheros in your place was a first. And who knew Sam Wilson played the saxophone?
Andrew offered them a cheerful greeting and directed them toward the saxophones, which happened to be near the ladder you were teetering on. Every time you leaned up to put a bow on display, it wobbled so badly you thought you were going to fall. You really needed to allocate some funds toward a new one.
As you continued to place bows on display, you heard the conversation of the two gentlemen browsing the saxophones. Apparently, Sam much preferred the tenor sax (which you happened to play, quite well you might add). Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him pick up a Selmer Paris model and inspect it. Those didn’t come cheap, but you were sure that saving the world gave a man a pretty decent paycheck.
“You think I can test it out?”
“I don’t know, dude. You should probably ask.”
You saw him nod, “Yeah, I guess so. And there’s not a reed in here, anyway. Excuse me!”
You realized he was calling you, so you craned your head to look at him. Both men were looking up at you, both with kind smiles on their faces.
“Is there any way I can get a cheap reed to test this out with,” Sam asked, “and are we even allowed to test them in store?”
You smiled back, “Yes, you can. We have test reeds at the front desk, just ask Andrew and he’ll give you one. That’s the only one you’ll get though.”
“Cool, thanks,” he replied while looking around, “nice place you’ve got here.”
Your smile grew a little wider, “Thank you! It took a little while to get it off of the ground, but I’m really proud of how it turned out.”
It was almost as if the universe wanted you to suffer. You stretched up to display yet another bow, and the ladder toppled to the ground, taking you with it! You shrieked in surprise and braced yourself for the impact with the floor.
But it never came.
Instead, you were caught in a pair of (ridiculously) muscular arms. When you looked into the arms of your hero, of course it was Sam himself. He was too handsome for his own good. The thing that stood out most to you were his deep brown eyes. And how, on the left one, was a bruise that exactly matched the one that you gave yourself this morning.
“Are you alright? That ladder must have it out for you,” joked Sam, though you could tell that he was concerned for you.
“I’m okay,” you squeaked, “thank you.”
“It’s no problem. All a part of the job.”
You nodded distractedly, still fixated on the bruise adorning his eye. He couldn’t be your soulmate, could he?
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he questioned.
“I-yes. I just got a bit, well, distracted.”
“By what?”
Well, it was now or never. You might as well just go for it.
“When did you get that bruise?”
He looked a bit surprised by the question, “The one on my eye?”
You nodded.
“This morning. It just popped up. Hurt a little bit, like something hit me in the face. Can’t be worse than what I’ve given my soulmate, though. I got stabbed in the stomach once and all I could think about was how confused and hurt they must’ve been,” came his reply.
It was him. It had to be! All of your random, serious injuries made so much more sense now.
“It did hurt,” you murmured back, “but not as much as the hospital bill.”
His face went from apologetic to elated faster than you had ever seen, “Wait, that means it’s you?”
“I think so,” you said, “I hit myself in the eye with a cabinet door this morning, and that-” you gestured to his face, “matches mine.”
“Oh, it does!” he exclaimed.
“Are you two done over there?” complained Bucky.
Thankfully, the Winter Solider had successfully rescued your box of bows.
Sam stood you up, and you could feel the embarrassment slowly creeping over you, “Yeah. Sorry about that, guys. Promise I’m not usually that clumsy.”
“Seems like you need a new ladder,” Bucky told you.
“You don’t say,” you sassed back, prompting a laugh from Sam.
Bucky then strode off to return the fallen box to Andrew. He gave Sam a knowing look as he passed by. He wasn’t very slick, though, you totally saw him.
“Listen, since apparently we’re soulmates and all, I’d love it if I got your number. I’ll take you somewhere nice to make up for all of the times I’ve gotten you hurt,” explained Sam.
You smiled bashfully, “That sounds nice.”
He handed you his phone and you input your digits. As Sam and Bucky were in the checkout line, your phone buzzed.
Hey, gorgeous. It’s your new man.
You giggled softly and looked up at him. He gave you an exaggerated wink and launched finger guns at you, making you laugh a bit harder. You entered his number into your phone and decided to send a text back.
Looking forward to you making up for all of those broken bones.
Me too.
You knew you’d be happy with him. Whenever the universe collided in this way, it always turned out for the best. If your parents and your roommate weren’t enough proof, soon you would discover it for yourself. You couldn’t wait for all of the memories you’d make together.
#sam wilson#falcon#sam wilson x reader#sam wilson x you#sam wilson x y/n#sam wilson fanfiction#sam wilson fic#sam wilson fluff#soulmate au#x reader#x reader fanfiction#x reader fluff#x reader fic#marvel#MCU
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Hello tumblr, during my childhood I was really obsessed with smurfs and since I found out that they released a reboot, which unfortunately I haven´t yet been able to see, I think I had some inspiration and ended up writing this.
I don't usually post this kind of blog about series unless I'm too immersed in it because I feel like it's too childish but to hell, blogging about-analyzing series for kids is my entertainment method and if I can't post about my likes on Tumblr I don't know why have an account.
So I present:
How to catch the Smurfs
This is the definitive tutorial on everything Gargamel ever did to catch the little blue critters.
It is based mainly on the animated series from the 80s and the 3 films that were produced between 2011-2017, I watched several episodes again to write this, but I still hope I don't forget some important information.
Following these steps:
1. Why catch the Smurfs?
During the comics, the series and the recent movies there were many reasons why Gargamel and other humans wanted to capture the Smurfs that change over time, among its main uses we have:
- They are ingredients for exotic dishes.
-Turn them into gold
- Ingredient for the Philosopher's Stone
- Use its essence to obtain magic
- Their tears serve as an ingredient for spells
-Their skin serves as a treatment to cure diseases
2. Points to consider:
This is a set of rules that fall between the lines when using a Smurf for any of the recipes mentioned above.
2.1 How many are needed:
In some episodes Gargamel was about to cook a single Smurf, so 1 is enough to eat them.
To turn them into gold you need at least half a kilo, about 6 smurfs.
2.2. They don't need to be alive
I didn't remenber any place where it said that Smurfs must be alive to use them in recipes.
2.3. Smurfette doesn't always count
She has to be a real smurf or else it won't work, during her first appearance before the papa smurf spell and the episode "smurfette unmade" where she reverts to her original form she is not a real smurf, so it wouldn't work unless that is in its blonde form.
2.4. Fake Smurfs:
The reason Gargamel can't just create another Smurf and use it in his recipes is because his creations are blue clay with a conscience, to turn them into real Smurfs you need the “true blue”spell
2.5. Artificial Smurfs:
Smurfette, Sassete, Kactus, Vicky and any other Smurf they come up with in the future, count as real Smurfs only after their transformation.
To clarify the points, these are the steps:
3.Locate them
The Smurfs are in a village protected by a magical force that makes it invisible or unreachable, it is only possible to find the village if a Smurf guides you to it, even after finding the exact location it will have disappeared if you try to return, so the best It is marks the surroundings of the village and look for them in the places that the Smurfs frequent.
It is possible to capture them when they leave the village, force them to guide you, enter the village using teleportation spells or hoaxes.
4.Traps
Catching smurfs is relatively easy, you can chase them with butterfly nets, catch them with your bare hands, using a cat or any other hunting animal, now that I think about it a hound would be very useful to track their scent.
Using some classic traps to hunt animals also works with Smurfs, traps with cages or hidden holes in the ground, or camouflage in a bush until a Smurf is close enough to catch it, you can't use traps like an obvious cage with food in it, they are too smart to fall for that.
It is more effective if they are placed in strategic places such as a field of smurfberries which is outside the village.
Small female creatures are also used as decoys, such as female smurfs, little mermaids and lymph to make a smurf fall in love and thus leave the village to a point where they can be captured.
5.Which Smurfs to capture
Personally I think there are Smurfs that are easier to catch, although Gargamel could not have a list of all with so many times that they have passed by his house, he should already recognize one or another Smurf and I remember that there is a episode where he knows some of his names.
The main cast, Smurfette, Hefty, Brainy, Clumsy, Greedy, Grouchy, Jokey and Handy as far as i can remember, they´re the ones that have been captured the most times and also the ones that have escaped the most, since they're easy to capture, it would be convenient to take advantage of this, but since they know how to get out, they should change the cages with them, put the cages in another place, move the objects that previously used to get out, and above all not to fall the same tricks again.
Papa smurf has been captured many times, he is the one who most leaves the village and if in one of his trips they capture him, maybe the others would not notice his absence, it is something difficult because he already knows how to escape and he can use spells against you, but if you manage to kill him the others would be lost without their leader, and with the disaster they would be easier to capture.
Lazy smurf takes naps during his work outside the village so it's a good chance to catch him, hopefully he might still be asleep while preparing the recipe and he won't try to escape.
According to his debut episode sickly smurf was never able to escape from Gargamel and Azrael; it is so easy that he catches him with his bare hands in 20 seconds.
Baby Smurf is more vulnerable for obvious reasons, the negative side is that there is always a Smurf looking after him, but if they manage to separate the baby it would be easy to cook , considering the life expectancy of the Smurfs is more than 500 years, it may remain a baby for the next 10 years so there is time to execute your plan.
Nat, Snapy, Sassete and Slouchy, the 4 children Smurfs that appear in season 5 are in almost the same circumstances as Baby Smurf.
In Wild Smurf's first appearance he kicked Gargamel in the face and easily made Azrael afraid of him so it might not be a good idea to mess with him.
I guess Smurfs like scaredy would never leave the village unless they forced it so the only times he gets caught is when they capture all 100 together.
6.Don't let them escape
In many occasions the Smurfs escape when they have already been captured by Gargamel, either from his hands, cages and in their closest attempts they escape from the pot.
These are the points to keep in mind:
6.1 Capture only one
If you capture a single Smurf than two or more as it will take a while for them to realize that one is missing and they will not come to their rescue, the more they are, the more likely they will find a plan to escape, so keep them in mind. separate cages.
6.2 The others will come
Once Gargamel has one or more Smurfs, it is 100% certain that the others will come to rescue him at his house, so it would be convenient to go to another place away from the forest where he can cook the Smurfs without others being able to find them. Gargamel has a basement with a secret door, he was able to hide there and pretend he didn't have them until the rescuers leave.
6.3 catch rescuers
Knowing that more Smurfs could come, you could use it to your advantage by placing traps on the doors and windows, or on the contrary, closing everything so that it is impossible to enter without having a key.
6.4 They will leave him for dead
In the episode "the tear of a Smurf ", it seems that if they don't find a missing Smurf it only takes a week for them to surrender and prepare for his funeral. You can hide the smurfs with their mouths tied up in a drawer and pretend you don't know what they are talking about until they give up, then it will be time to execute the recipes. If Gargamel had enough brain cells to keep the secret, he could eat the Smurfs and the rest would think they were eaten by birds or something and would not take revenge.
6.5. Do not look any further
If you already have 99 it is enough, even if you have only one, it is not worth risking it to find one more, it is a trap.
6.6. Don't open jokey surprises.
The characters always forget that gift.
6.7. Don't listen to them
On several occasions they try to make conversation to buy time, they trick him into thinking that he will bring more Smurfs or that he cannot eat him, everything is a trap.
6.8. Just kill them
He never did that but it's a very obvious choice, I don't remember somewhere saying that smurfs have to be alive for recipes, Gargamel has repeatedly expressed his desire to destroy them. Wouldn't it be easier to kill them before throwing them into the pot? if you can't, they don't even have to be dead, just unconscious or asleep. Gargamel has drops of lava in his lab for some reason, how come he doesn't have substances to knock them unconscious? In case he have many captured you could use classic techniques such as placing the cage in a tub of water until they drown, even stepping on them would be enough since they are very small.
6.9. Papa Smurf's books
If Gargamel tries to kill them with an epidemic, papa will have the cure, if he casts a spell, papa has the antidote, since he has been in the village on several occasions, he should take the opportunity to steal or destroy their books, he could look for the true blue spell and perhaps find another useful spell.
7.Enjoy your smurf soup
If that's all i came up with, you can already eat or become a millionaire at the cost of a smurf's life, hopefully you'll have to face a horrible revenge from papa smurf, but i'm not responsible for that.
8.Other methods to get smurfs:
This is a set of theories for alternative ways to get smurfs without capturing one from the village.
8.1. create smurfs:
In the second live action movie gargamel gets the formula for the true blue spell, so from here technically he could create smurfs, then transform them into real smurfs and do whatever he wants with them, during the series he had to look for the formula instead to look for smurfs.
8.2. Clone Smurfs:
In the episode "the hundredth smurf" Vanity creates a clone of himself that eventually integrates into the village, it is a genetically exact clone so there is no doubt that it is a real smurf. He just needs to place a mirror in front of a smurf and get it struck by lightning, Gargamel could capture a smurf and make clones that will work, he wouldn't even have to keep the original and he would have an infinite smurf machine.
8.3. Kidnap Baby Smurfs:
During the blue moon it is possible that a zork came to the village bringing a baby smurf, it can take up to 200 years without bringing one but if you are alive when that happens, you can try to hunt the zork and capture the defenseless baby.
8.4. Repeat the fake smurf technique:
If it is possible to create fake Smurfs like Smurfette, it might work on a second try, Smurfs are not very cautious around strangers, once Smurfette arrives in the village no one wonders where she came from or why she was in the forest, but rather Immediately they offer him a house, Gargamel could create a smurf and this time instruct him to lead all the smurfs in the village into a trap and make sure he does not turn good, he can also turn himself into a life-size smurf costume, Nobody will notice that there is an extra Smurf and he can repeat the same trap,third time’s a charm
9.Conclusion:
Surely there are many other methods to catch Smurfs but I can't see the whole series again even if I wanted to, because it is a series for children Gargamel never learns from his mistakes I think that catching Smurfs is not that exaggeratedly difficult, especially for someone who has access to magic may be as difficult as capturing a talking rabbit, Gargamel is just stupid.
The end.
#the smurfs#hashtag so that the blog is not invisible#smurfette#gargamel#azrael#brainy smurf#sassete#sickly smurf#no smurf was harmed during the making of this blog#vanity smurf#papa smurf#clumsy smurf#smurf village#I should look for some images#ready#a picture
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Changes and Deleted Content Part 2 - Far Cry 5: Features and Missions
This is a small passion project series of posts where I share some insight of what’s hidden in the game(s) files, but also some general observations. The main focus will be on character changes or deletions with a few words about functions and deprecated missions.
What will not be touched upon are a lot of the things the Resistance Mod on PC restores, namely deleted store weapons and clothes, weather systems and general gameplay related things like skinning animations. I also won’t go into audio files and their content, as @lulu2992 is already working on an amazing series for FC5 that summarizes them per character.
This part will be significantly shorter Edit from post finishing-Angy: This post turned out really damn long despite only discussing some scrapped or changed features and a couple of deprecated mission strings. I still hope you find this as interesting to read as I found writing and investigating it :)
1. Changed and Scrapped Features
1.1 Guns/Fangs for Hire
Just for reference, the release version of the game has 9 unique GFH/FFH available + 3 slots for random specialists you can hire throughout the world.
Among the game’s UI textures for tutorials is this image, showing an earlier version of the GFH screen.
What this indicates is that the planned amount for active GFHs you can have was originally 4; or the top row could function as some sort of favorites tab. We will probably never know for certain.
Interestingly though, this version has slots for 20 GFHs in total, 18 either filled a character icon or a locked symbol, suggesting the originally planned unique GFH count was 18.
Considering almost every NPC in-game has spawn-able archetypes with battle audio fully in place it is possible that we were supposed to be able to recruit more of them. I will return to the matter of recruitment shortly.
Another thing I’d like to open up for consideration is that there may have been plans for (ex-)cultist GFHs or at least areas where they act friendly towards the deputy. Reason for this assumption is the fact that cultists have recorded lines for when you meet them (spawn them), aim weapons at them (the taunts GFH and friendlies do too), along with idle lines when you use mods to spawn them as friendly followers. The game has no purpose for most of these lines, as you never walk into peaceful cultists outside of the intro. In the intro you have no weapons to aim at anyone, making it impossible to trigger these lines.
You may argue they were recorded for the arcade, but the Seeds are also featured in it and have none of those. However, they may also be a leftover from scrapped missions that would feature cultists that don’t shoot you on sight.
Additionally to that early menu screenshot, I have also found an old reddit thread discussing the game’s Uplay page near release because of the following image:
Unfortunately I was not able to find this particular page myself anymore, and knowing how short lived everything is nowadays, it might be lost in time forever. The commenters discuss that the three additional slots here refer to potential DLC characters, but we don’t get to use any of the DLC companions in the main game (nor do the DLCs share the main game’s art direction). So, this might be another indicator for additionally planned GFH/FFH we never got to see.
One of these was likely the Eagle FFH called ‘’Freedom’’ (Character/Unique/FFH_Eagle_Freedom), which was partially restored through mods on PC as its loaders and everything are still present. It is unknown why this was scrapped.
It also appears that there once were inventory (purchaseable?) items for almost each GFH (Boomer and Jess have none), as these placeholder icons exist inside the game’s ui\icons\inventory folder:
Possible functions: Quest items you needed to obtain to recruit them (implying changed missions); Gift items (for potential level up?)
Now to return to the matter of recruitment: Deprecated mission strings suggest that originally you had to hire unique GFHs similarly to random ones; and that was part of quest lines. These lines appear in ‘oasisstrings’, the game’s main language file(s):
HIRE Jess RECRUIT Adelaide Drubman ADD Adelaide to your squad
In light of the old GFH screen I actually looked up the definition of ‘Squad’, and on wikipedia it is listed that a Squad is a team of 5+ members, further strengthening the theory that originally you could have 4 active GFH (plus the Deputy they’d be 5, therefore a squad).
1.2 In-game Wiki menu
Some of the previous Far Cry titles have a sort of wiki menu that features short bios of characters, explanations of locations, resources and weaponry. New Dawn sort of brought part of this back with the ‘Survival Guide’ (accessible from the pause menu), but 5 does not have this at all. However, in the ui files there are still texture leftovers, implying this feature was planned and it had sections for Animals, Base Jumps, Characters, Destructible Structures, Fish, Locations, Parking Spots (Garages), Plants and Treasure Hunts. The following image shows the ‘undiscovered’ symbols arranged in that order.
Again, no text entries along with a lot of duplicate and unfinished images imply this was scrapped early.
You can view the additional images (minus characters, because they will be handled in the next posts) here.
2. Abandoned Missions
This section will focus on mission strings that still exist in ‘oasisstrings’. For the sake of readability I removed the style code the game uses and the line numbers. You can easily find them by searching part of the text in the files or website listed in References. Please keep in mind that only the mission titles themselves are 100% like that in the files, any assumption as to what they might have been used for is purely speculative, but I attempt to always provide a reasonable explanation with evidence for the theories presented. Also I am not perfect, so it is possible I missed something in-game. In that case please do correct me!
2.1. Investigation Type objectives
There is a set of objectives listed that imply a different setup for Willis Huntley’s mission. It introduces the objectives PHOTOGRAPH, TAG, LISTEN and INTERROGATE:
PHOTOGRAPH potential property PHOTOGRAPH an animal slaughter TAG the target PHOTOGRAPH the target LISTEN to the conversation INTERROGATE the target PHOTOGRAPH cult signs and rituals: BRING the photos back to Willis
The release build mission has you tail someone and steal a VHS tape. None of the above objectives appear. It’s interesting to see that at one point there were mechanics in consideration that included intel gathering.
2.2. Quest centered around Melvin
The only Melvin I could find in relation to Far Cry 5 is Nadine Abercrombie’s grandfather. Melvin Abercrombie joined the cult. It isn’t assured that these objectives refer to him, but if they do it’d mean a potential mission where you speak to a lower ranked cultist.
Please Note that mission strings are not always in correct order.
TALK to Melvin LOOT Melvin's corpse REACH Melvin's house WAIT for Melvin to arrive GO MEET Melvin
2.3. The ‘Redeemer’ Objectives
At some point there was a quest-line revolving around something called the ‘Redeemer’ in Holland Valley. I could not find out what this thing really was supposed to be, but it sounds like it was either a boat or a submarine (???). In this line it appears that the garage in Fall’s End had actual relevance.
FIND a similar engine BRING engine to Mary's garage TALK to Mary's assistant TOW Redeemer Back the Garage (this typo is also in the file) SUBMERGE the Redeemer FLIP the Redeemer upside down GET IN the Tow Truck PUT the Redeemer on the Flat Bed
What this also implies is the inclusion of tow trucks and that there was a ‘Mary’s assistant’ character.
2.4. A few seperate Entries before we focus on plot relevant ones
In light of the afore mentioned wiki menues there is also an objective type that goes very well with its character section:
DISCOVER this character.
This could be attached to unknown entries in the character list.
There also is an unused objective called:
FIND the cow in the field
Which at first glance made me believe it was related to the mission at Cattle co., but it is not used there or anywhere else. I suppose we will never find out what was so special about this mysterious cow.
TAKE Joseph's writings
is also an interesting entry, as it is not related to the mission where you burn his book. This is again an unused string with unknown original purpose.
2.5. Mary May and John Seed
There are two particularly interesting unused mission objectives in relation to these two characters.
For one, it looks like originally we were supposed to rescue Mary May from John’s ranch:
RESCUE Mary May From John Seed's Ranch
This could either be a replacement for saving her in Fall’s End or it is a mission that appeared later on in which John possibly captured her. It gets more possible applications with the next one, though.
FIND John and Mary May's secrets
Now, this one caught my attention immediately, because there are two big things that come to mind in terms of possible application. It could refer back to the novel Absolution in which Mary May gets captured and tattooed by John, heavily implying that part of the plot that made it to the novel was originally intended to be shown in the game (we will get back to this in the character episode when talking about Holly).
Additionally, keeping the previous objective in mind, it could also imply that Mary has been converted during her capture (or her capture was planned) and played a different role in the story overall. Of course, all of this is only speculation as we will probably never know, but the objective specifically says ‘John AND Mary May’s secrets’, refering to shared secrets, not just one of Mary herself (which would fit more into the tattoo theory).
If you have ever even considered the possibility that Ubisoft might have cut a lot of stuff from the Whitetail region of the game, the rest of this Mission section should finally prove this to you. I’d like to make clear here that this is unbiased. I have tried to dig up deleted content equally in all regions but it just turns out that this is the one they really went wild with. There is nothing that stands out in terms of deleted or changed missions in the Henbane area and the Holland Valley content is mostly not that plot relevant minus the last examples just mentioned.
2.6. Eli and the Wolf’s Den
In the final version of the game we are told that Eli is an important character, but he is not very active in any way. Where Mary May assists you on the way to John’s Ranch and Tracey and the others at the prison fight by your side in defense missions, Eli will stay at the Wolf’s Den and have you run his errands for him. Just like the other mentioned characters he has full fight capabilities though. His AI is capable of using that bow, despite him never leaving the bunker.
As it turns out, he used to be a far more active character and there were multiple ways you could encounter him for the first time. For reference: In the game as it is now you will only meet him when he and his people rescue the deputy after Jacob’s first trial. You cannot enter the Wolf’s Den prior to this point.
Inside the game’s animations folders are these three subfolders including the respective files (JJ and Key03 is how Eli is often referred to in the files, I will get back to this in the character post):
This means there were three ways that you would encounter Eli: Inside a cabin, through being captured in a net or by being released by Perkins. This was most likely Doc Perkins, giving her a bit more significance in the game.
The main cutscene files for these are not present anymore, only the animations remain so I could not find out where the exact locations for these were supposed to be at. I however, loaded these animations into a game cutscene so we get to look at them anyway. I have chosen Jacob’s death cutscene for the simple reason that there’s only the player + 1 NPC, it is daytime and there’s no intrusive DOF blurring everything. The video below shows all of them.
Keep in mind that only the player animation matters in the first two! Ignore the rest. The third one features Doc Perkins and has her animation applied to her. As you can see it is very very unfinished, but it shows that she possibly unties the deputy or opens an animal cage, then drives away in a car.
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This unused mission string supports the theory of these different ways further, as it implies that you met him somewhere and he would guide you to the den:
FOLLOW Eli into the Wolf's Den
There are several other objectives that suggest a more active Eli, who might have accompanied you on some missions:
WAIT for Eli to arrive GO with Eli GO inside the Wolf's Den
2.7. Jacob and the Veteran Center
Before swan diving down a very deep rabbit hole, let’s address this unused mission string first:
TALK to Deputy Pratt
Sounds very unspectacular and like something you would do at some point, but this is never an objective in the game. The intended function will forever remain unknown most likely, but possibilities are vast, especially with the upcoming abandoned objectives.
There are hints at an alternate useage of Jacob’s bunker (specifically called bunker here and not armory). Mission strings are:
FIND a way out of Jacob's Bunker LEAVE Jacob's Bunker
Again, on first sight you’d think these are just what’s there in-game. But they aren’t. During the final mission it goes from RESCUE Deputy Pratt straight to ESCAPE Jacob’s Armory. There is no indicator that you’d need to find a way out. The objectives above hint that it was similar to John’s and Faith’s bunker initially, where you had to do a few more things before escaping.
An observation derived from the game’s subtitle file is that at one point there might have been a differentiation between ‘Armory’ and ‘Bunker’ as, most likely, a random NPC says "I don't know where Jacob's bunker is. I'm not sure anybody does, but it's out there somewhere." The armory is (other than John’s and Faith’s bunkers) directly next to a main road, next to McKinley Dam. It is quite impossible to miss. Therefore this statement, along with the inconsistent switch between calling it ‘armory’, ‘bunker’ or ‘gate’, could mean there was originally a different bunker and the armory really functioned as such.
Before moving on to more mission strings, there is one more subtitle entry worth mentioning: "When you tried to arrest Joseph, Jacob got wind of it and things got real crazy here in the Whitetail Mountains." It heavily implies that at some point, Joseph’s family might not have been intended to be present during the opening, and they instead found out about the arrest afterwards. As far fetched as it sounds at first, it does check out with the inactivity and absence of the three heralds after you cuff Joseph (and in case you ever wondered what the three of them are doing while you guide Joseph outside, they de-spawn and are gone as soon as you turn around).
But enough about that and let’s get back to more missions we never got to see.
For instance there is:
GO TO the Veteran's Center
Which, as most of you know, is impossible during the game because you get repositioned everytime you attempt to go close. This string implies a different kind of mission at some point.
HUNT Jacob
No, this also does not appear in the game. The final mission goes from DESTROY Wolf Beacons to KILL Jacob Seed. Possibility in combination with the previous entry is that you were supposed to follow him back to the Veteran Center and that’s where the final fight would be. It could also imply a different kind of trial.
Small observation because we are talking about the final fight: The Prima Games’ guide (based on a pre-release build of the game, it will be featured more prominently in the next post) depicts Jacob at the bottom of the mountain during this encounter. WIth a lot of perseverance I’m sure you can somehow manage to replicate this in-game. But it is interesting regardless that they chose this image. It might imply that at some point he was not positioned on top of the hill, and instead closer to the area he finally dies in.
Before we move on, here are a few other interesting unused strings:
TRAIN TRAIN yourself INTERACT with Jacob for finishing takedown TALK to Jacob
They imply a different way to end the fight along with the possibility to talk to Jacob at some point (unrelated to each other mind you). I have no clue in what kind of scenario you were supposed to talk to him. The only explanation I have is that trials were possibly supposed to be different at some point and maybe they had more intentions to explore the whole brainwashed aspect of it to the point you casually took strolls around St Francis. Now before you say I just made that up, I implore you to wait till after the next part to call me out on it, because there are reasons I offer that possibility up for discussion here.
TRAIN and TRAIN yourself might not be linked to this region at all. But it is interesting to have these sort of objectives as they form the ‘Train, Hunt, Kill, Sacrifice’ part of the region’s theme, when you refer back to other mission strings: TRAIN (yourself), HUNT Jacob, KILL Jacob Seed.
Now to get to the main part. If you ever used mods on PC that let you access the Veteran Center, you will have noticed that the AI acts very strange. Your assigned GFH might wander around, aim at nothing or even attack civillians. Cultists inside the area will not always attack you, while civillians will do. This is most likely why the developers were so quick to patch out the tricks to access the region without mods.
I have seen multiple speculations circling around, but the one that always struck me as the most plausible one is that there was some kind of mission after Pratt rescues you from the cage. It is a very discontinuous cutscene, in which you transition from the cage directly to the top floor of the Veteran Center, implying there were no problems for Pratt and the Deputy to get there, despite having to cross the entire guarded frontyard and going through multiple building floors to get to the office. So, naturally I wasted some time of my life trying to dig up stuff that proves this theory right and I...well I did find something.
Important note so you understand what’s going on here: It is very common in games to load objects underneath the map (outside of sight of the player) to assure they are properly loaded in when they are needed. I have seen posts circulating around which depicted Pratt underneath the building, suggesting they eventually had an area planned there. The more likely case is that Pratt was loaded there for later use in a cutscene.
Why am I saying that? Well, this following screenshot was taken underneath the map during the cutscene where Pratt rescues the deputy and it transitions to the top of the building. I have changed the time to daytime for a bit better visibility.
What you see here is an entirely unused set of either cutscene or gameplay elements. A truck, Jacob (who’s absent in the cutscene we see), Pratt, a random NPC, a bag, a small table (unseen in cutscene), a single door (unseen in cutscene), a double door and 3 small pieces of paper (only two are in cutscene). I have kept watch on these assets for the entirety of the cutscene and none of them were moved into place. Meaning that all of these were here to be used in either a different cutscene or even a gameplay segment.
It brings me back to the mission theory, where there was a potential stealth segment between leaving the cage and entering the office. Maybe there was an alternate cutscene for the case where you’d be caught and the one we see in the game is the one after successfully sneaking up there? We will never know for certain again but it is one possible explanation as to why these assets even still exist. It would also check out with the TALK to Deputy Pratt mission string, as you maybe had to speak to him after reaching a certain area.
Here are also some additional screenshots of the room in front of the office:
It was modelled and filled with a few detail props we never get to see much of.
Another potential mission, which would explain the broken AI behavior better, is the already mentioned theory that they might have planned to do more with the whole brainwashing aspect. Cultists inside the Vet Center area do not shoot and are allied, while civillians act hostile, implying while the player is there they are considered to be allied to cultists. TALK to Deputy Pratt, TALK to Jacob or TRAIN (yourself) could have taken place during this also. Something that could support this theory is also this unused timelapse marking days passing:
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3. The Game’s Title and Closing Words
Internally the game is often called ‘fc zeta’, ‘zeta’ or ‘fcz’. So *sigh* of course I tried to find a deeper meaning behind it all and came to the sixth letter of the Greek alphabet ‘Zeta’. If you count Far Cry: Primal as a real standalone title, Far Cry 5 is the sixth Far Cry release. But because the Greek were special snowflakes or something, the sixth letter actually has the value of 7. So Zeta is actually 7 despite being the sixth. If you count Blood Dragon as a Far Cry release it’d mean FC5 is the 7th release. However, these theories exclude all the expansions and stuff for earlier Far Cry games.
Another indicator that Zeta might have been more than just a number, is this texture used as a decal on some clothing materials:
I have not found someone in-game who has this anywhere, and they might just disable the transparency and use it only for the American flag. But still, why would they make such a decal texture in the first place? Maybe very early name of the cult or resistance group?
Before closing this incredibly long essay, here is an old, unused version of the logo found in the files :)
Phew, we finally reached the end. If you made it all the way down here: CONGRATULATIONS you just read a long af essay! Again, i’d like to remind you that a lot of what you’ve read is pure speculation. I tried to prove my arguments as best as I could with evidence that I provided but only Ubisoft knows what really happened. And they are unlikely to tell us.
The next post will focus on the expansive character list and I may split it into parts because there is a lot to say and show about some characters.
I hope you have a nice day and thank you for reading ♥
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References:
text.farcry.info (website where you can look through Oasisstrings yourself!) languages\english\oasisstrings.oasis.bin languages\english\oasisstrings_subtitles.oasis.bin animations\narrative\cin_key03_q01_b00_meet_jj_cabin animations\narrative\cin_key03_q01_b00_meet_jj_net animations\narrative\cin_key03_q01_b00_meet_jj_release domino\user\fcz_proto_ld domino\user\zeta_dlcm ui\resources\textures\04_menu\tooltips ui\resources\textures\06_icons\inventory ui\resources\textures\05_hud\tutorials\_images __Unknown\XBT\AE800D066AB2E84A.xbt __Unknown\XBT\FD080AA2BBABE691.xbt Zeta on Wikipedia (english) Squad on Wikipedia (english) Prima Games guide (2018, collector’s edition, print and digital) reddit.com/r/farcry/comments/89nsf1/so_theres_3_missing_guns_for_hire_here_maybe_3/ __Unknown\BIK\C6AB10EDBC81E933.bik
#far cry 5#gameinfo#obligatory longessay tag#if you ever wondered how much of a nerd i am#look at these essays#and know that i enjoyed writing and capturing footage of every second of this
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generated some winston thoughts in discussion with @nothingunrealistic and i don’t have it already perfectly articulated in my mind here, but when do any of us ever
naturally thinking about things how like, there’s these Rules people operate on around the hedge fund (maybe more so when it was axe cap, we’ve only been at prince cap for 2.2 episodes, so) where Interactions are a competition and it’s pwn or be pwned, & to do the former is to also have this aspect of Proven Value, see: that theme of people inferring intrinsic qualities from their interpretation of the extrinsic....and winston doesn’t really do this, re: how he communicates to actually communicate, offers explanations for what he means, wants/expects an at least neutral response to what he actually intended to get across, & is mostly out here trying to connect with people / have a social exchange, but people still (mis)interpret what he does through those usual rules of [no, we’re all having a continuous competitive power struggle & that’s the only reason to say anything ever, unless you’re the Ultimate Winner like axe & untouchable & can say whatever you want w/o being pwned by your employees], see also: that, in conversation with Winston Billions Autistic Character and how people misinterpret everything by seeing it through the lens of whatever they think the supposed universal correct nt social rules are, and obviously negatively judge him
and the sort of further concept i’m connecting this to is the idea that another more Specific thing that winston does around here is maybe seem to the people around him (who are doing things more Properly, supposedly) to have / express a like, more stripped down version of Experiences they have, that other people are out here maybe framing in a fancier way / offering, to themselves or others, some more elaborate / grander Reasoning as to why the experience, and/or their ambitions about it, are cool & correct actually lmao, but winston being Sincere & Spontaneous out here is presenting maybe this core version that is uncool & wrong & it’s like hey, hope My version of it isn’t like that. or is it....of course examples would probably help me make sense / clarify what i mean here, so what sparked this line of thought was like, how you can look at say, axe, who’s personally a billionaire & was like oh i own all this fancy stuff & i know what’s good re: all these luxuries b/c i’m epic, i couldn’t afford all this if i wasn’t better than other people, vs. taylor, (who yeah has all the thread / arc about Having Money / now being able to afford fancy/expensive/luxurious stuff) who is more about the Transcendent Intangible Wins, as they pitched to rian. & to Juxtapose winston with both of them, there’s winston’s art investment plans as described in 5x08, wherein it’s already Unepic for winston to talk about “hey, i hope to get paid around here” like way to be so pedestrian with it & talk about the bonuses, rather than Being A Billionaire, but it’s also not epic to admit you’re eventually planning to buy art as a commodity in which to Invest but where you Don’t claim to also happen to personally love the art.....vs axe absolutely using art as a financial investment, but oh unlike other billionaires maybe, he also Does personally think it’s good, and tanner’s here b/c axe personally likes his art & could afford to buy/commission it, And he could convince tanner of the former point b/c he likes pizza & real talk....but the conclusion of that whole plotline there is axe deigning to grab a painting that tanner tossed the can of black paint on in an effort to destroy it rather than with any Artistic Intent, and axe says he wants it not b/c he likes the painting or contains all of what life’s about, but because it’s a Nico Tanner(tm) original.....and then to juxtapose him with taylor, i can just use the example of 4x08 where he gets the Win that nobody else did (and maybe it’s also not exactly Intangible, he did win a monetary bet, but it’s probably not simply the thrill of like, being made for life b/c it was So Much Money) but when you enjoy a win you aren’t supposed to immediately start cheering for yourself rather than have any cool lines to deliver to someone about it or to try to high five anyone. and it’s like, do people not want to encounter someone who’s on the spot openly pumped up about winning a bet at this charity boxing match (and the Uncool bet of [nobody wins], i guess) nor someone who’ll straightforwardly acknowledge that things like buying art isn’t about finally being able to afford basking in all this Fancy Stuff that you so would’ve wanted back before you had the money to buy it and now totally luxuriating in it in full appreciation of its worth Beyond the money
basically the notion that winston has like stripped down versions of what’s more Elevated for other characters / with more built up around it for them, and it possibly makes it seem less epic, because a) he’s doing Lesser Versions & b) he’s winston & everything he does is seen as inherently less epic than how other people do it & c) despite these points, he’s also ranging from “straightforward / matter of fact about it” to “more openly hyped than other people get about things” about it all, rather than if he was like, “yeah it’s cool for me i guess but i recognize that it totally objectively sucks / no one cares” lol, like, the least he could do is acknowledge probably everyone else’s stuff is superior, like mention it’s so cool axe is commissioning this rando art man and you wish you were him & wish you had the Taste to enjoy a van gogh.....and then when it comes to the Intangible Rewards of proving you can win or succeed at your strategies or what have you and it’s so worth never hanging out w/friends anymore, like of course just as winston’s “idk in my personal investment plan i might buy a painting, but not rn, and as a commodity” is a lot less Involved than “i’m axe i have billions i can buy w/e fancy paintings i want,” and yet he’s just talking about it as if it’s fine that his own plans are so much more unspectacular, so is winston Winning a bet on a boxing match in 4x08 is less Involved than taylor’s Wins with plans with various elements and higher stakes / more money and more factors to consider, of course, yet he’s immediately that excited about this Win regardless
and i doubt characters on the show really think much of it, probably not, say, beyond the usual constant disdain / dismissiveness or anything winston says/does re: anything, and where that [usual disdain] is such a reason to Not think much of it b/c why seriously consider anything winston does / why pay attention, and/or b/c well he’s doing this amateur hour version of “personally investing” or “strategically winning” but only those more involved/elevated versions of it are as rewarding, and/or when you do get those rewards you’re supposed to be more dignified about it, because to introduce another element here, winston is also always getting [get his ass] responses b/c he is seen as making himself vulnerable for like, openly Wanting something, for example, a neutral or positive conversational response to something he’s said. you have to want to win but don’t be that openly thrilled and wanting high fives when you do; you have to actually just think it personally rules to have expensive art / houses / cars / watches / whatever else, and these things all so happen to hold / possibly accrue financial value, and maybe it happens to make you look cool in front of other people and some attorney guy will see this and think you’re flaunting your wealth & become a devoted hater, maybe. and it certainly applies more to axe in particular (which is always relevant re: how axe’s influence / example then manifests among axe cappers) how, you know, he clearly actually wants Other People’s Responses too when he wins, whether it’s “i need someone to be so jealous” or “i need someone to think i’m the best & go ‘god i wish that were me’” or “i need a nemesis & i need them to stew in defeat while i lord it over them” or “i need to get a standing ovation from ten year olds or whatever, doesn’t matter, someone stand & ovate me.” whereas taylor, operating as a foil out here, Is actually more capable of just being truly self satisfied in their wins out here lol and not only that, but not even wanting to crush someone into the dust to know they’ve won. but 4x08 sure is kind of an instance where they do enjoy getting to pwn axe face to face and observe him realizing it in real time, and not only that, but them knowing how to set him up this well and letting him think he’s won first, since then he’d be even madder to have Actually lost. easy to bait him with a supposed opportunity to crush you as a foe, & then losing sucks even more for him....& how this is all tied in to taylor being on a revenge jag from here to 4x12
kind of losing the plot here but what else is new. anyways the point is, i guess, something about just considering the Juxtaposition of winston and other characters, when he has this like, more dialed back / uninvolved version of [ways to win] going on, but he’s apparently perfectly fine with that rather than having ambitions for ramping it all up as much as possible, And him generally being vulnerable / making it clear what he wants and thus how to disappoint him by being Sincere & Spontaneous is like wow winston hope you’re not trying to imply any of the rest of us are thusly vulnerable and want validation from other people to enjoy xyz experience that’s supposed to be objectively epic or whatever. but anyways whether or not the characters have any thoughts about it / this consciously influences them ever, always on the lookout for / considering these hypothetical Juxtapositions offered up for us, the viewers
#leaving it at this and maybe have a couple shorter posts to make....figuring things out on the page (post)#winston billions
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Debate Notes
Trump keeps saying that 2.2 million people were “supposed” to die, as if our 200k figure is some miraculous lowball, that nothing more could be done to stop the virus; we have 4% of the world’s population, but 20% of deaths. There’s no excuse for this.
Trump says the vaccine is done and ready, but also says that a ton of companies are working on it. It’s either ready or it’s not, it can’t be both.
“Other countries, in particular Europe.” Now, the stereotype is that many Americans are so stupid that they think Africa is a country, but Europe? Europe?!?
Trump keeps saying that H1N1 would have been so much worse if it was so much worse. “He did such a bad job handling it. Sure fewer people died, but if more people had died then he would have done a worse job.” Am I taking crazy pills?
“I want to slink away to some bunker and go away for a year and a half.” So do we, Donny. So do we.
What is your message to worried parents about opening schools? “They need to stop being wussies and let us open up; people are committing suicide and abusing drugs and alcohol because everything’s closed” FUCK YOU, DONNY
“The restaurants are dying! You can’t do that to people!” Oh, so he cares about businesses dying, but not people. People die all the time, dime a dozen, who cares?
“New York, my beautiful city...” They hate you. Donny. They hate you so much you changed your voter registration to Florida so you didn’t have to be associated with them. And we hate you too; urns out a state full of minorities, women, and old people on social security don’t like racist misogynists who cut social security.
Trump keeps saying he could “blow open” Biden’s financial records and destroy his campaign, “but I don’t want to do that.” I could ruin you, but I’m not going to. I have so much dirt on you, but I’m not gonna use it. My dad works at Nintendo, he got me the new 4DS, but I’m not allowed to show you guys.
Trump has chosen the ever classic “no, you” defense. I am rubber, you are glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you
He brags about how under his administration there’s no war with North Korea. Huge milestone, considering the US hasn’t been at war with North Korea since 1953. The North and South are still technically at war, there’s no peace treaty, just a prolonged armistice, a ceasefire; the “demilitarized zone” is the most militarized zone on the entire planet!
As soon as Biden called his hypothetical healthcare plan “Bidencare,” Trump started writing something down. You KNOW he’s going to pitch something called “Trumpcare” during his lame duck period. All he wants is something with his name on it, he’s pissed off that he hasn’t gotten an elementary school or a road or a naval ship yet.
“Biden’s been there for 47 years, and he didn’t do anything on healthcare.” He hasn’t been president for 47 years. Donny has been president for 3 years, and he has done jack shit.
Trump is really looking us in the eye and saying “Biden will end social security” while he himself is currently ENDING SOCIAL SECURITY. He is stabbing us in the chest and saying “aren’t you mad that that guy over there is stabbing you?”
“We have 550 kids who don’t know where their parents are.” “Good.” Somebody needs to blow his fucking head off already. Gloves are off, this man needs to die. Somebody has to be willing to die to take this man out; killing a president is an immediate death sentence, you don’t get to plead insanity, you can’t get life imprisonment instead, you don’t even get to stay on death row for years and years. If you kill the president, they kill you quick; they either kill you extra-judicially like Booth and Oswald, or they rush you through the legal channels like Guiteau and Czolgosz. Surely somebody, anybody, is willing to take one for the team, give their lives to end his. It’s like the end of that Twilight Zone episode It’s a Good Life, “quick, somebody, while he’s focused on me, grab a bottle or a lamp or something and bash him across the skull with it! Somebody end this!”
Wind is apparently dirtier than natural gas. And batteries don’t exist, so when the wind stops the power stops.
People are getting sick because you’ve cut chemical plant regulations; how do you respond? “They get so much money, they pay so little on gas, I saved them! They’re welcome! A little cancer, a little black lung never hurt anybody.”
FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND EVERYTHING HE STANDS FOR
FUCK THE REPUBLICAN PARTY AND CONSERVATISM IN GENERAL
FUCK HALF THE COUNTRY THAT VOTES FOR THEM
If a handful of midwestern assholes aren’t fed up with Trump’s horseshit yet and fuck the entire country over with another 4 years of this, then they’ll have no one but themselves to blame. Who would have thought that the unholy lovechild of Andrew Jackson, James Buchanan, Herbert Hoover, and Richard Nixon would be a shitty president who destroys the whole country?
#i'm PISSED OFF#debate#presidential debate#last presidential debate#final debate#final presidential debate#2020#2020 election#election
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Brief BFU spreadsheet update
Been awhile for one of these in particular, huh?
When the show isn’t airing, I only record these numbers once a month, so not much has been going on there. I just finished recording the first week numbers for the latest season finale and did a quick comparison to the other 3 seasons of BFU I’ve covered live to see if the numbers were up or down or consistent.
Turns out, pretty consistent! On the lower end, but nothing crazy at all. I thought they might be because the season received very little promo and with it being our second True Crime season in a year, thanks to ol’ Covid. But the new eps averaged 1.71 million views on the opening weekend (I recorded all of them on the Tuesday after airing). This is on par with last fall’s Supernatural season 6, whose eps averaged 1.68 million views on their opening weekend.
One thing that is interesting to me is that the spring seasons of BFU that I’ve covered (True Crime seasons 5 and 6) have higher premiere averages (1.84 and 2.2, respectively). You would think the fall spooky times seasons would have higher openings, but apparently not. And since once of the fall seasons is SPN and the other is TC, that doesn’t seem to matter either. Weird!
Anyway, the other thing I did was look at the top 41 most watched eps of BFU and the difference between their views when I first recorded view counts (April 2 2019) and today (November 24 2020). I stopped at 41 because #42 is Annabelle the Doll, which was released after April 2. When I hit 2 years of doing this, I’ll probably look at every ep, but for now, I just wanted to focus on ones that had aired before that April date.
The 10 episodes that gained the most views in that 86 weeks are:
3 Cases of Ghosts and Demons - 11.6 million gain
Hannah’s House - 9.7 million gain
Exorcism of Anneliese - 9 million gain
The Watcher - 8.9 million gain
The Illuminati - 8.6 million gain
JFK - 8.4 million gain
Goatman’s Bridge 8.1 million gain
Jamison Family 6.8 million gain
Bellaire House 6.6 million gain
DB Cooper 6.5 million gain
Six Supernatural eps and 4 True Crime ones. It’s always interesting to me which episodes are the ones that have popped off or continue to pop off. These are all Shane episodes, which is nice (the second most watched ep ever, Elisa Lam, is a Bront one). And a nice variety among seasons! Four are from the first seasons (3 Cases, Anneliese, Illuminati, DB Cooper), one from season 2 (JFK), two from season 3 (Goatman and Jamison family), one from season 4 (Bellaire), and two from season 5 (Hannah’s House and The Watcher).
(for those interested, the Bront episode that had the most gains was Men in Black with 5.5)
And just for posterity, the top 10 most viewed episodes of BuzzFeed Unsolved SPN currently are:
3 Cases of Ghosts and Demons - 27.8 million views
The Illuminati - 23.5 million views
Exorcism of Anneliese - 22.9 million views
Goatman’s Bridge - 17.9 million views
Men in Black - 17.1 million views
Hannah’s House 16.4 million views
Waverly Hills 15.5 million views
Queen Mary - 15.4 million views
Toxic Death of Gloria Ramirez - 14.8 million views
Bermuda Triangle - 13.4 million views
And for True Crime:
Elisa Lam - 24.1 million views
JFK - 17.5 million views
DB Cooper - 17.4 million views
Axeman - 16.2 million views
Room 1046 - 15.5 million views
Jon Benet Ramsey - 15.3 million views
Tupac - 14.6 million views
OJ Simpson - 14.4 million views
Jack the Ripper - 14.2 million views
Jamison Family - 13.9 million views
That’s all for now, I hope to be back with a Watcher update soon (they are 995k subscribers right now!). Thank you as always for reading!
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