#epic anime fan defeats Howl with logic and facts

[yama-no-mononoke]

for all you non howl haters out there who are oh so curious about why i, and many of my followers dont like howl, ive made a comprehensive list of reasons i dont like him

1. Howl is mischaracterized

first off, I want to acknowledge that an adaptation changing the elements of a character is not inherently bad. but when it comes to miyazaki’s adaptation, howls character was not improved by the differences. in fact, his differences make him a weaker character.

how is portrayed by miyazaki as a cool, suave, magic man, who always knows just what to do, and just what to say. and when he blows up because of his hair, it comes out of nowhere, and its really jarring, because the fact that howl is unstable and deeply vain is never really addressed anywhere else, or confronted at all in miyazaki’s adaptation.

And like... watch the movie, and count how many times something weird, or bad, dangerous, or even interesting happens to howl. now, how many of those times did he react with any emotion other than vague amusement?

this man has 2 emotions.

sure, he got red hair one time and flipped out. which only really exacerbates the problem. nothing bothers this guy. not strangers in his house, not the woman trying to kill him hitching a ride on his escape plane, not imminent death. just... different color hair.

miyazaki tries WAY too hard to make Howl calm and collected, but with deep insecurities bubbling beneath the surface. if he did a better job, it would have been pretty faithful to the book, and made for a compelling character arch. But just because we can tell what miyazaki was trying to do doesnt make it good.

2. The “appeal” of howl

i dont get it, but from what i understand, this is what people like about howl:

howl is a powerful, cool pretty boy. but hes deeply insecure, and really scared of... war? being drafted?

and no, dodging the draft doesn't make you sexy. dodging the draft makes you a normal fucking person. so he gets no points for that.

and can we talk about this for a sec? howl ‘running away’ and not wanting to be involved with the war was an element that rings hollow when Howl goes out of his way to attack the army multiple times BEFORE the big climactic “i finally found something to protect” scene. also... you can protect Sophie without putting yourself in danger, howl. its not a noble sacrifice, its just foolhardy and needlessly dangerous for your friends once they have to save you.

he’s got that “im sexy, but i need a woman to love me or I can’t function” thing going on.

also, ive been over already how howl’s whole character is a mess. and its really a stretch to say Howl is at all conflicted. its more like, hes just one way at all times until arbitrary things cause him to sob uncontrollably.

also, because Sophie is such a blank slate, its easy for women to project onto her and imagine that howl is in love with them. not saying its bad to project onto sophie, just saying its easy to, and thats partly why people like howl.

3. Howl isnt as hot as everyone thinks

You’re allowed to think howl is attractive. beauty is subjective. but when people talk about how sexy howl is, I feel like thats owed entirely to how howl is animated.

there are MANY shots, especially early on, where the camera pays excessive attention to howl’s hair, his jewelry, his clothes, and so on. Miyazaki clearly intends for us to understand that Howl is supposed to be beautiful. and in fairness to miyazaki, he is really good as a filmmaker at allowing the camera to gaze longingly at men and not just women. its really good to see a male filmmaker who isnt afraid of trying to make men attractive.

But, the treatment the camera gives him is mainly to establish how beautiful he’s SUPPOSED to be. No matter how miyazaki draws him, it cant make people like me, who dont like him, find him attractive.

its like the movie is tricking you into thinking he’s hot. like. there are only a few mainline ghibli films with adult men you can crush on. and if you’re already a fan of ghilbi, its easy to be enamored with the visuals, and the world, and the tone of the film, and accidentally fall for the trick and finding howl sexy even though hes like a solid 5 with more hair colors than emotions.

final thoughts

I think Howl in the book, the idiotic, self absorbed fratboy, was too far out of Miyazaki’s comfort zone. But Miyazaki could have done better if he tried.

and if you like howl then i think you are bad