#envision and write for so that's where i'm at the most rn

[vi-enti]

i have been stuck in a cycle of rereading ur postgame fic over and over and over ever since it's release it's SO good........ i understand if u r writing up more to it and so don't want to disclose but i am dying to know more abt ur takes on both postgame as a whole and what's going on with each of the survivors..... if u wouldn't mind sharing, ofc :3

!!!! thank you so much, i'm so happy you enjoyed it. i do want to keep some stuff secret (partially bc i'm still fleshing out ideas myself) but i can share some stuff about the survivors!

hajime: so i'm not the biggest fan of hajime and izuru being separate personalities, but i do like them being perceived as such. hajime and izuru are one and the same, but the person he was as izuru and the person he was even before then are perceived as different to the others, they'll keep make excuses for him and claiming that wasn't him, but he has to learn to accept that he was the person who did those things, that there isn't a separate entity in his brain to blame. a lot of his journey is going to be about discovering the type of person he wants to be in his future and whether he even can be that person, or if his brain is too altered to understand the imperfections of happiness.

i don't want to say much about akane, fuyuhiko, or kazuichi yet. what i will say is that their journey of healing begins with the physical, and the mental gets pushed to the side for way too long. i can see Queen Sonia, Who Is Above All, and izuru kamukura taking care of themselves during the Tragedy, which is why they're some of the only ones to come out unscathed (not including nutrition deficiencies from being in the NWP pods). the other survivors aren't that lucky, so they have to overcome being weak before they can fully focus on the sins of their past and the futures they want. akane is the most malnourished, kazuichi has suffered so much damage to his limbs creating the monokumas and death traps in unsafe work environments, and fuyuhiko gave up his views of the world for those of a tyrant (literally lol bc. his eye. yknow?). how do they even begin to cope with the people they've chosen to become? how do they begin to cope with all they've lost physically and in their lives?

sonia: the next section i'm writing is about sonia actually! so i'll just share a snippet of that :)

When she had first woken up, Makoto and Kyoko had been there to help her, slowly lifting her upper body so she could sit up. She trusted them, of course she did, but who she really wanted to see was Hajime. Hajime, who had shone so brightly at the end of it all, who had overcome a despairing truth in order to help them all, who had lit a path to the future for his friends. 

In that moment, she had seen the sort of person she had always wanted to be. Being a princess, born to be a queen, there was a lot of expectation for her to be the perfect leader. No matter who she asked, however, nobody could ever define what that really meant. Was perfection being an absolute authority? Being completely open to every request from her people? Maybe it was letting others do all the work and just smiling and waving, presenting a facade of peace when there was none. Or, worst of all, maybe it was being cruel, crushing all that stood in her path and ruling with an iron fist.

No. She had tried that last path, and now had no kingdom at all to rule. The princess, born to be a queen of perfectly nothing. Still, Sonia was a ruler at heart, a leader and guide to those around her. Before the others woke up, she knew she would need to define for herself again what the perfect leader was. All of these thoughts had run through her mind in the five seconds it took for Makoto and Kyoko to lift her to a sitting position, the detective hiding a smile as her partner babbled on about how great it was to see her awake, how much work they had to do, how happy he was to meet her in person. Sonia barely heard his words at the time, her eyes darting around the room of glowing pods, looking for that perfect leader to learn from. She had wanted to see Hajime.

[neos-schlond-poofa]

Garrance: How to Save a Life

I live laugh love Garrance and I once edited the first part. And ever since like one day, I listened to How to Save a Life by The Fray and went "omg..." AND WAS LIKE THATS THEM!! It was actually in like 2021 and it was me imagining if I had artistic talent and making a general MCD edit of it but slowly its turned into a predominantly Garrance theme song for me and like. I NEED TO SPREAD THIS AGENDA!! Just a heads up, its 1am for me rn, I don't remember everything the clearest, and I'm literally just rambling so it wont be too organized or have consistent grammar or writing styles. ANYWHO cue the music

Step one, you say we need to talk He walks, you say, "Sit down, it's just a talk" He smiles politely back at you You stare politely right on through Some sort of window to your right As he goes left and you stay right Between the lines of fear and blame You begin to wonder why you came OKAY SO LIKE THIS WHOLE FIRST PART I always envision it as late season 1 Garrance. Specifically when Garroth had his depressive episode (WHICH BY THE WAY GUYS WAS NOT HIM BEING AN INCEL!! IT WAS HIM BEING DEPRESSED AND MANIPULATED AND MOST LIKELY BRAINWASHED STOP VILLAINIZING HIM). Laurance did try to talk to him in that one episode, and it obviously didn't work. Laurance CARES about Garroth, like thats obviously super clear, and to see someone close to him randomly go into hiding and act all depressed is scary to him. And then... THE WINDOW TO YOUR RIGHT IS QUITE LITERALLY THE PORTAL TO THE IRENE DIMENSION!! Garroth goes left (to Zane) and Laurance stays right (to Aphmau). THE LINES OF FEAR AND BLAME? Laurance finds out that Garroth was tricked. He's scared of Garroth rn because he's literally insane but he blames himself too, not just for being part of the illusion that made Garroth become like this, but also because he wasn't there to help him out more maybe. He could've saved him, but he couldn't, and it still plagues him especially after he escapes the Irene Dimension. Garroth is all alone there with his brother who wants to kill him.

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life Yes this continues with the last part. But Laurance lost a friend here. Like. Not just by Garroth betraying them, but by him getting stuck in a dimension thats practically torture. And the bitterness? ITS THE BITTERNESS GARROTH WAS LOST IN!!! Laurance would stay up with Garroth all night... but he didn't know how to save a life.

Let him know that you know best 'Cause after all, you do know best Try to slip past his defense Without granting innocence Lay down a list of what is wrong The things you've told him all along And pray to God He hears you And I pray to God He hears you, and Alright this is were a lot more interpretation comes in because once Garroth returns, they interact like... TWICE??? The scene were Laurance goes out of character and hates on Aaron (although he had a point) and when he finally saw Garroth again but Aph was dressed as Zane. I also don't remember the ending of Season 2 that much; most of my strongest memories of MCD is Season 1. So like. Bear with me here. But this is Garroth to Laurance now. Laurance is now going insane. The calling (whatever that is because it is so unclear) is well... calling to Laurance. To me, Laurance's mental health is literally just spiraling. And Garroth, someone who has had his fair share of mental health struggles, wants to help. He knows best; he knows to talk to people, he knows the dark paths it can bring people. He's trying to get through to Laurance and telling him whats wrong, how he can help. But of course, in this situation, Laurance can't listen. He can't hear Garroth, and Garroth's close connection with the religion in MCD is a bonus for the final lines too.

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend Somewhere along in the bitterness And I would have stayed up with you all night Had I known how to save a life Of course the chorus is back because I have to explain this perspective too. By now, I imagine Laurance has left. Garroth feels guilty; someone who helped keep Aphmau together while he was gone and someone he loved. This is really simple but like, I can't skip over this.

As he begins to raise his voice You lower yours and grant him one last choice Drive until you lose the road Or break with the ones you've followed He will do one of two things He will admit to everything Or he'll say he's just not the same And you'll begin to wonder why you came AND NOW THIS IS BOTH PERSPECTIVES!! It shows the parallels between their own journeys. Let's start with Garroth, since we have more stuff on him. Garroth was very defensive during his depressive episode and during the final episode of season 1, he has one final choice. Go with Zane, or come to his senses. And he does admit to everything, but at first, he said he's just not the same. BECAUSE HE WASN'T!! HE WAS SAD AND MANIPULATED. But for Laurance, he would also be defensive about this. His own self will is being stripped from himself because of weird Nether laws and he's spiraling. Garroth tries to help... but he simply can't. There is nothing he can do. OR MAYBE THERE IS?? Idk this is kind of just in my mcd rewrite universe and i like to imagine theres some way Laurance does get better but at the same time realistically... would he?? The nether is like so strong. Like how would he do that. But he does have a choice: either go to the Nether, or stay with his group. He can either admit it's hard, or he's just changed and leave. And now the final chorus and everything plays and its kind of the same as before... ive gotten increasingly more eepy during this writing and I hope my rambling style got my ideas across because this song literally got in my top 5 spotify wrapped because i kept imagining garrance angst to it. its so them god one day i need to share stuff about my rewrite. theres so much random stuff i have in there and this song is really important to it. i just like. GARRANCE RAHHH. my former interpretations of this song also had an aphmau perspective, which does entirely work; like. imagine the final verses is mirroring her own experiences with garroth AND laurance. i love garrancemau (SHE HAS TWO HANDS!! ignore how i also ship her with two more people too she can just hug them all at once) but i cant put it into this song as much as i used to because its so garrance. theyre so ugh i love my sad little gay men!! anyways toodles my rant here is done

[bunny-hoodlum]

Idk where else to put this but here... Yeah, today Idle Hands started to feel hopelessly stupid as a story. I attempted to do that recontexualizing/I can save half of my posted content thing that I envisioned and felt like I was still going to hit a dead end no matter what.

I rly think I am just struggling the most with structure and nothing else. It's just hard to get a sense whether the chapters have any purpose with the way I'm writing it now. 🫠 Lesigh.

Rn, I'm considering going linear. Literal slice of life chapters from the moment Naruto and Hinata met all tightly written around the theme of the story's title. They'll probably be really concise and hazy sort of moments. I guess I'm taking the 'just vibes' approach for this. So for example, maybe childhood will take ten chapters before we get to where the fic currently is, which will get really freakin' stressful I think (not for me, the contents will be stressful lol). Then middle progresses in much the same way. Maybe a narrative will finally come together once the stakes finally present themselves. 🤔

I shouldn't need to write them if I wanna just start the story when they're sixteen and whatever, but it do feel like it's lacking flow rn without it. Bleh, I dunno. 😮‍💨 Stupid story, how dare you be impossible for a year straight. 😭

[sootspiders]

and i almost forgot on day 1, so far so good uhh so anyway i've been spinning my wheels about an outline for like. over a year. idk. i cant tell you how many "FOOL PROOF WAY TO OUTLINE YOUR NOVEL" method craft books, blog posts, podcasts, youtube videos, downloadable-template-when-you-subscribe-o-my-mailing-list's i've tried, and I never really completed a clear outline that I could work with. but i also Can Not improvise a story, I can't hold and organize information like that on the go. i want direction during the short bursts of time I have to write, but for whatever reason it just. Isn’t happening.

i have 2 seperate google docs labeled "outline attempt #" and thats just the new 2024 version, it goes up to 9 new outline attempts, at some point i always get lost and the notes are disconnected and don't lead into eachother and are too detailed to be outline bullet points bc i have the adhd that makes information organizing really really hard. idk whats important and where the most efficient place to put it is.

i certainly have been writing stuff. sometimes scene fragments, mostly just broad ideas. my note/idea doc is 80,000 words and i cannot bring myself to look at or organize any of it, thus i can't even use it.

anyway. where was i going with this.

or right. anyway, after bashing my head against this outline wall for nearly 2 years (multiple breaks where i got annoyed about being stuck and worked on something else for a while) and constantly being like "i want to actually write so bad write now" but saying no i cant every time i start i immediatley get stuck bc i dont have an OUTLINE and the concept of "ok just do a really short simple outline, just a loose guide to be tied to, just think of like 4 turning points to anchor the rest of it to, just do this small thing" seems like a reasonable goal and instruction, i kept telling myself all i have to do is that One Thing and then I can start. but at a certain point (9 new attempts from summer until now) regardless of how simple the task is, there is only the reality of "if this was going to work, it would have worked by now."

uhh so i remembered that, now that i think of it, most of my better ideas happened while writing, not before it. but i still can't improvise as I go, i'll just get paralyzed without a path, and much like my 80,000 word black hole of a "just write down every idea you have!" note doc that i physcially cannot make myself read through...i'm sure i could certainly write something with that method, and id probably end up with 300,000 pages that i'd rather eat a bowl of thumb tacts then try to edit and organize. and then i'd start over instead.

i'm starting to realize one of my biggest problems is that i'm so inefficient at organizing information that i'd rather start a task over from scratch 50 times then try to sort and edit a massive overwhelming pile. surely THIS TIME if i start fresh i will keep it organized as i go and the unmanageable rat nest of info won't happen this time. surely.

im writing from my phone in bed rn and im not cohesive this was supposed to be a 3 sentence update

so about draft 2 electric boogaloo, i know i was just getting at a problem about preferring to start over rather than edit, but last year i DID actually manage to write a chapter summary of draft 1 and i do (mostly) know what is at the heart of the structure pacing issue, so I don’t think i'm starting official draft 2 in bad faith. draft 1's biggest problem is the protag is really inactive and the plot just kind of happens around her bc she doesn't know anything and has no clear reason to be doing anything. hence why its so confused and meander-y (is that a word idk)

current method is instead of trying to do a whole outline (bc apparently i can't, i just can't actually envision the story until its written so i don't know how to conceive of act 2).. im going to outline just a little, like an "episode" at a time and then write it and then outline the next chunk

ANYWAY (how mny times have i said that) I wrote like 100~ ish words of chapter 1 today yipeee

also i bought a calendar to give myself stickers for word count goals bc it makes it look more tangible and also. ✨️stikcers✨️

[transadvice]

I am kinda questioning whether I'm trans and I honestly just need some help tbh because I feel like I'm struggling and haven't seen much or anything off people sharing my experiences. Ik I'm probably just on the wrong side of the internet and there's loads but I fell really alone right now and I don't have anyone to take to about it and my mental health isn't at a great place rn. I'm still a teen so Ik I'm young and I'm a bit of a late bloomer so I'm currently in puberty and it's honestly hell. I don't recognise the person in the mirror and I feel like I'm changing into the opposite of what's right. I see so many people talking about how they realised they were trans and how they always felt this way but I honestly don't see myself in that. I'm afab and I've not had any kind of issue with gender as a child. I mean I guess "girl" didn't feel right but I just felt normal so I didn't object. I feel like my world and identity is collapsing around me and everything to do with me hurts. I've never had long hair but I desperately wish I was shorter. I like clothes and most of mine are feminine and I even enjoy wearing long skirts but I honestly can't bear to wear shorts or t shirt because my arms and legs look so wrong. I mentally always refer to myself as a boy and when I envision myself in the future I see a man. I'd love to look like a boy but it's just not me. That's not who I am. I'm not trans because I'm just not. I really really desperately wish I was though but I just hate everything. Idk this is probably all incoherent rambles but I just need to get it out. I'm in a safe space if I was trans. My close family and friends support and my boyfriend is a trans man so I do definitely have exposure to it. I just don't feel like I'm the same as any other man or boy I see. I still enjoy being feminine but terms like girl and lady make me want to scratch my skin off. The person I see in the mirror is not me in the slightest. I have autism so idk if that's what it is because Ik that is common for female autistic people to not feel female and this is probably just something that comes with puberty but I seriously have no idea what to do about this. I could talk to my therapist but I'm not sure I have the words. I don't want to be trans. I really really don't. I'm queer and autistic and afab and that makes the world a scary place with so much staked against me and I'm terrified. I don't want to add another thing to the list of things people can discriminate against me be because. This is probably too long and incoherent and I'm really sorry but I just need to vent

Hey! Thanks for writing in. I am sorry to hear you are experiencing the pain of gender dysphoria. Your experiences sound very familiar to me, a trans person, if that helps you at all. If you’re asking if I think you’re trans, the answer is yes. Lots of trans people didn’t know they were trans in childhood; didn’t experience dysphoria in childhood; and never had an issue with gender in childhood. For many people, including myself, dysphoria starts in puberty or later. If your dysphoria is mostly physical - about how you feel in your body - it makes sense that you wouldn’t feel it until your body changes.  If you’re a teen, and you know some trans people your own age, then you know a subset of trans people knew they were trans in childhood. That doesn’t mean those are all the trans people who can or will exist. The folks who, like you, are figuring it out in adolescence (or later) have not come out yet. I promise you are not alone. Go to an online or IRL place where trans adults are talking (e.g. a support group) and you will find plenty of trans people who don’t fit the “I always knew” narrative.  The fact that you’re autistic doesn’t mean you’re cis. Lots of autistic people are trans. Actually, there is a surprising overlap - a higher percent of autistic people are trans compared to allistic people. Nobody really knows why this is. “Uncomfortable Labels” by Laura Kate Dale is one book by an autistic trans woman that discusses this phenomenon. “I’d love to look like a boy, but it’s just not me”: this feels like a very familiar sentiment to me. Before I transitioned, I felt that it would be impossible to do so; that I didn’t have the right; that the shape of my body and way other people categorized me dictated what I was allowed to do or want, or how I was allowed to identify. I don’t feel that way anymore. The impostor syndrome gradually ebbed away as I got further along in my transition. It felt impossible at the start, but I realized that I could do it by doing it.  The thing is that “I’d love to look like a boy” is not something that cis girls think. “When I envision myself in the future, I see a man” is not the way cis girls feel about their future. Cis people don’t wish they were trans. Wanting to be trans is diagnostic of being trans.  It doesn’t work the other way around, by the way. Many trans people wish they were cis, at least some of the time, because society rewards cis people. Wanting to be cis is logical in such circumstances, and doesn’t necessarily mean you’re cis. What would be a sign that you’re cis? Idk just not having a problem, not thinking about it. Any kind of painful longing about gender is a trans thing because cis people just don’t have a problem with gender.  Unfortunately, you don’t get to choose whether you’re trans or cis. You can’t decide not to be trans because it’s too hard. You can decide whether or not to transition, whether or not to tell anyone, whether or not to explore your gender presentation, what name and pronouns to use, how to dress, and so on - but you can’t decide to not be trans. Depending on your circumstances, staying closeted is sometimes a logical and reasonable choice. But it’s also true that when questioning trans people begin to think about coming out, transitioning, or taking the first steps toward exploring their gender, many of us people overestimate the danger and difficulty of the road ahead, and underestimate the joy and freedom. The good news here is that transition is an effective treatment for dysphoria, and that you can take it at your own pace and choose which aspects you want to do based on what feels good and right at any given time.  You identified two steps that sound like good places to start: talking to your therapist, and getting a shorter haircut. Neither of these commits you to do anything else, but both may give you more information that you can use to inform your next steps. 

[rollercoasterwords]

hi! i just finished reading atyd from Sirius’s point of view and I was just wondering one thing—did you write in Tonks becoming closer to Remus towards the end to stick to canon of them getting married and having Teddy? if so, do you think Remus really married her because he moved on and loved Tonks, even if it wasn’t the same as the love he had for Sirius? Hope that makes sense, sorry!

oooh ok hello very interesting question but i feel like i have a lot to say so i'm gonna put my answer under a cut! also still planning to write a tonks oneshot for "another perspective" at some point wherein these questions would be answered, but since that probably will not be happening for a very long time the following will essentially be what i was envisioning for the canon-compliant remadora i wanted to write:

ok so first off gonna start out with the disclaimer that like...in terms of personal preference, i normally hc remus as a gay man and tonks as a lesbian and just ignore everything going on in canon w remadora + teddy. BUT since i was writing a canon-compliant story it was an interesting challenge to think about what their relationship might look like, and i essentially created like...the most angsty version possible in my head lol. so, to answer ur questions, this is my vision/interpretation of a canon-compliant remadora:

starting with tonks -- i imagine tonks as a character that has sort of struggled with identity her whole life. like, as a metamorphmagus (or whatever the term is i don't feel like googling rn) i think her perception of herself would be very shaped by the fluidity of her appearance and this ability to sort of shift into whatever people want. and i also imagine her as a character who's like, a little clumsy, a little abrasive, always sort of been told she's too much. so i imagine her sort of shifting her appearance as she grows up to try to make people like her and struggling with this deep insecurity that who she actually is is someone that is fundamentally unlikeable, someone that is too much. throw in some mommy issues and an additional anxiety surrounding gender--again, because like...she can literally change her appearance at will! what ties her to one gender??--and we get this character who is very young, trying to find her place in the world, deeply insecure about whether she could ever be someone truly loveable, whose first line of defense against that insecurity is to alter her appearance and sort of...put on this performance of being someone else, someone confident and loud and secure.

and i imagine tonks meeting remus and him being sort of like....one of the first people to make her feel comfortable, to a certain extent, about who she is. like--everyone else thinks she's too much, but remus finds it kind of sweet and charming. and i imagine tonks very much latching onto him, in a way that is not necessarily healthy, and thinking this is someone who could love her. but i also imagine that she wasn't oblivious, and that she saw what was going on between remus and sirius, and she like...wanted that. she wanted, so, so badly, for someone to love her in the all-consuming way that remus loved sirius.

and then sirius dies. and suddenly remus is like....a shell of a person, with nothing tethering him to the earth. and i think tonks would have this desire to like...fix him, just to prove to herself that she could. like, it's part of the canon that tonks is very much pursuing remus, even as he's trying to tell her it wouldn't work.

so i imagine tonks pursuing remus and sort of being the only person who's actually trying to deal with him in the aftermath of his grief, the only person who still wants to be around him.

and remus....i think he'd be in this horrible position where like. he knows what tonks wants and he knows he can't give it to her because he truly and genuinely can never love anyone the way he loved sirius. but at the same time, she is all he has left, the only person who is still consistently caring for him, who's there, and he does care for her too. but the more he tries to tell her to just leave him, that she deserves better, the more she digs her heels in and insists that he can love her if he just gives her a chance.

and u guys know me, i love coming up with the angstiest scenarios possible, so i imagine this like. really unhealthy situation where one night tonks transforms to make herself look more like sirius--maybe just the hair, or the eyes, or both--and remus is like please don't do this, please don't do this, but tonks is like you like me like this don't you? don't you?? and remus !!! it's like. what does he have?? except ghosts, and memories, and imitations? and he knows tonks isn't sirius, he knows that, and he knows she never will be, but she's so much like him--so much like him before the war, the same mischief and laughter and brightness, and he can't hold sirius, but he can hold this person who looks so much like sirius, who reminds him in so many ways of sirius, and just....i think he'd fall apart. and he'd let her pick up the pieces, even knowing that there's no way it won't just end up hurting them both.

so. that is my vision for canon-compliant remadora, and honestly i think it fits well with the like. very rapid elopement + pregnancy and then remus freaking out about the pregnancy and trying to leave with harry, because suddenly it's all too real, and he never wanted to be a father, and he doesn't know what do with a kid and a wife and this life that he's sort of fallen into with his grief. which...yeah not a great situation for anyone involved! and obviously this is just one interpretation and it's me specifically interpreting canon in a way that is like. very angsty and unhealthy and fucked up, because that's just the kind of thing i like to write :)

[reilliane]

HELLO YES I COME BEARING 4NEMO HEADCANONS !!!! buckle up bc this is a lot longer than i thought itd be 🥲

an au where reader interacts with DCKZ (or DICKZ or another version of 4NEMO’s rival group) and childe and kaeya getting all up close and personal with fleur!reader just to get on 4NEMO’s nerves (ik it wouldnt make sense considering zhongli is xiaos dad (?) and is a professor if i remember correctly but lets just pretend ok 😭)

4NEMO catching a glimpse of fleur!reader dancing with eula!!! i want to see how they react

ESPECIALLY XIAO. DANCE MAJOR XIAO seeing fleur!reader dancing with eula and its either he’s very impressed or very disappointed. either way he finds himself wanting to dance with reader one-on-one :) it can be to help her improve (if it sucks) OR to have fun coming up with random choreography with her (even tho he tells her no its not for fun she just has a lot of ideas and is creative and hes taking advantage of it so he can come up with stuff for 4NEMO music videos. to which she goes “aw xiao u just called me creative and complimented me”)

also i saw that one thing where you responded to an ask about 4NEMO’s conversion to 5WIRL and i raise to you: venti, aether, xiao and kazuha getting increasingly more talented in their respective roles in 4NEMO because theyre petty about heizou being talented in all of their categories/being the jack of all trades :)

in venti’s case he doesn’t even try to hide it 😭 like heizou will pull up some new ideas for songs and the next day out of NOWHERE venti pulls up a forty-two page google doc filled with song ideas, music video concepts, and like. budgets? and links to pintrest boards hes made about them?

for aether he feels kinda bad about getting competitive about it bc they’re teammates + rlly good friends come on man but also he’s like “but see you will also improve if you do this, so technically its in the best interest of the entire group. plus….. impressing y/n” (in the end he just gives in cause he is a fucking simp just wants to better himself there’s nothing wrong w that right?) he’s obvious because he’s. eager :’)

xiao is probably the second most obvious one about it because of his whole angsty emo dance major act. what do u mean heizou’s already come up with the rest of the dance?? no, no see he’s done stuff too ok he’s come up w some stuff too look. no look at this. what do u MEAN hes jealous? he is NOT. he is not petty or. or. u know what whatever just come listen to what he has to say about heizou’s ideas if u wont listen to his own >:( (in the end more than half of heizou’s moves r scrapped and xiao Wins)

kazuha is probably the most subtle about it? he’s kinda like venti ish because heizou will come up to reader one afternoon with some random lyric ideas and concepts that he wants kazuha to help him with but kazuha doesnt know that now does he and then the following days after kazuha overhears their exchange the reader is handed a few ideas. it starts off with a few poems scribbled on scrap paper kazuha thinks would be good for a song until it escalated into there being an entire drawer in the readers desk filled with his musings and concepts and ideas and 😭

i’ll send more over when i have the time !! have fun envisioning these readers and writers alike <3 i am in the car rn and getting kinda dizzy help

have a wonderful rest of ur day!

🧦 <3

OMGOGMOGGOGM 🧦 ANON YOU REALLY SENT IN A 4NEMO PROMPT AEEEEEEE I'M THRIVING I'M LIVING- ROLLING ON ME BED LIKE A WERM GOBBLING THIS THING UP-

/cough cough - Ah, 4nemo, I miss writing for 4nemo I'll get to it after I'm done with the vigil ones~

YES LOL it would be a little different because Zhongli is Xiao's papuh but we can always think of some other universe where he's not and is a part of an idol group instead~

Childe and Kaeya will rub 4nemo's bad side so much lmao?? We all know that the Fleur universe is, despite that peeking angst at the corner, is founded on fluff and badly attempted humor-/j

They really will be subtle in their 'ohmygo what they doing to mc?? huh?? 🤨🤨 nuh-uh men'

But rivalry aside, Fleur!MC would be a good friend to the DCKZ group and whenever she'd hang out with them 4nemo would go-

"WHERE ARE YOU GOING???"

MC just gives them a grin and goes- "Tall men dorm. Movie night!"

THEY'RE CRUSHED.

Fleur!MC dancing with Eula is an absolute win. Despite MC's blithe nature, she's one who gets things right because- because lore- do remember she's referred to as 'mistress', implying.. ? 👀

DIGRESSING, XIAO WILL GET MC TO DANCE WITH HIM AFTER THAT SPECTACLE. BOY IMAGINE DANCING WITH XIAO. UGH.

He's not going to hide the slight upturn of his lips when he sees the rest of his groupmates lol. Can they tango?? No, no they can't, too bad! Guess he'll just sweep MC off her feet hehe 😏

AND YES, THE REVEAL OF HEIZOU (I always typed his name as Heizhou, what's wrong with me) has led me to include him in the LIs as a bonus one. As if there isn't one already lol.

So the LIs will then be: 4NEMO + Heizou, Zephyrus wink wonk

Heizou's introduction to the group will be a major 'boss battle' moment for the group ahaha imnotkidding- CONNECTIONS, CONNECTIONS.

ALSO JUST 4NEMO BECOMING BETTER AT THEIR RESPECTIVE FORTES IS DOWNRIGHT AMAZING LMAO- and comical. THEY CAN'T LOSE TO A NEWBIE- A newbie who seems to be too good at everything he does...

Ah, why is MC coddling him? Is he that good?? :((

YES HE'S THAT SHUCKING GOOD IT'S UNACCEPTABLE HE'S BECOME HUSBAND #5 AND THEY CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE RIVALS MAN.

Venti absolutely feels the most challenged.

He has the best friend card, thankfully, but that does not rule Heizou out of his radar. If he's petty, he's gonna be petty and MC will suck it up cause he's her bestie- okay he may not go overboard buT HE'LL BE PETTY- and at the same time x2 diligent in his work aha.

Xiao is another petty case, really. He won't hide his vexed pout when Heizou manages to outshine him in dance practice, you know, the space where xiAO'S SUPPOSED TO SHINE. It's become a one-sided rivalry.

Aether the softie for sure will hesitate about feeling slightly ill towards Heizou but he can't help it- goodness, this sweetheart man. AND KAZUHA, TOO, though yes he'd be more subtle.

Heizou definitely deviates more towards these two solely because they don't feel as dangerous as the cousins LMAO.

Ah, I can't wait to introduce the bonus LIs but there's much more to cover in the Fleur universe before that!

[slightlyrebelliouswriter23]

I posted 14,823 times in 2022

That's 3,888 more posts than 2021!

648 posts created (4%)

14,175 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@grumpy-gh0st

@draculasswife

@moprocrastinates

@charincharge

@lacetulle

I tagged 12,035 of my posts in 2022

Only 19% of my posts had no tags

#tfota - 3,047 posts

#holly black - 2,895 posts

#jurdan - 2,860 posts

#thank you for the reblog! ❤️ - 2,172 posts

#fae shit - 1,703 posts

#my analysis - 1,336 posts

#fashion - 1,006 posts

#hchc vibes - 851 posts

#book rec - 808 posts

#my writing - 655 posts

Longest Tag: 135 characters

#like i want to say more but i'm working and my brain is just !!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ that's the only thing i can think rn :')

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Jurdan proposals be like 😌💍✨

394 notes - Posted November 4, 2022

#4

i think the fact that cardan annotated one of his books for school is not talked about enough. hes such a bookworm and i love it so much

yes yes yes!!! this is kinda why i don't really vibe with the "Cardan is a himbo" take. like the man annotates his books and has been known to read voraciously to get what he wants. no part of that screams "head empty" to me.

of course, everyone is welcome to envision Cardan howsoever they please. and i think himbo!Cardan can certainly be a fun play on his character. it's all for the bantz, and i'm not mad at that.

but personally, i see Cardan as exceptionally intellectual. so intellectual, in fact, that it's really most of why he's so intimidating.

because here's the thing: he doesn't have much of a physical intimidation factor. he can't wield a sword or weapon of any kind. he hasn't learned to fight, not in the proper sense at least. the most he can do is like... flip a coin over his knuckles, steal the ring off your finger without you noticing, and demolish you in a fashion competition.

and i guess he can put you in a chokehold if you're rude to his queen lmfao.

he also could use magic to intimidate, if he wanted to. he could ensorcel mortals to get what he wanted, if he wanted to. but most of what we've seen of him using magic of any kind is to protect Jude, not scare/harm people.

i think the fact that Cardan has these magical capabilities, chooses not to use them, and still manages to get what he wants, is a very insidious kind of terrifying.

more often than not, words and knowledge are his weapons. he uses powers of observation and cleverness to his advantage. he notices things, and he's very clever about what he notices. he knows precisely how and when to press people's buttons, he has an acute social awareness, and that makes him potentially very dangerous (depending on which side of his graces you lie). especially in a world like Faerie where the great majority of people are socially inept.

just because he is in love in TWK and couldn't see that exiling Jude was not, in fact, a clever riddle and would, in fact, backfire miserably, doesn't mean he's not smart.

rather, this is what makes him so interesting! he's intelligent but not in the cold, insensitive sort of way we often see when a character is crowned with the "intelligent" trope. he clearly still has feelings and a wide breadth of emotion, and that may cause him to fuck up sometimes, but it doesn't cancel out his intelligence.

he's just not always particularly smart when it comes to Jude. but how can we fault him for that? we're all fools in love.

–Em 🖤🗡

more theories & analysis

666 notes - Posted March 18, 2022

#3

Jude waking up in Elfhame like

677 notes - Posted October 28, 2022

#2

cardan about jude:

2,239 notes - Posted June 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

when brains r like "today i will not brain" my brother in christ you are a brain

55,434 notes - Posted March 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[phloxmagpie]

7, 37, and 38 for the writing game please! hope you're having a lovely day!

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

37. Talk about your current wips.

well, delinquents is a lot of fun rn because originally i envisioned rio and beth at the homecoming after-party as really snarky and sniping at each other—arguing for most of the night until the tension breaks when beth's upset and finds him after a fight with dean and he slides into something softer and easier with her now that they're isolated and away from everyone else. however, chapter 9 ended with rio sliding into a different mood than i expected after discovering the truth about beth via elena, which means that he's going into the party in a much different mood. he's not itching for a fight or aiming to rile beth up. he's actually very much accepted his feelings, and while he still doesn't know for sure what he wants to do with them, it means that he's going to be much softer much earlier and beth isn't going to know what to do with that.

i'm also still working on i'll fall if you do and there's this tiny bit at the end that i'm so, so excited for people to discover. literally can't wait.

aaaaaaand i've been messing around with plotting collect/capture, actually, and think i have an okay thread to start from to actually do some real planning eventually? hopefully? we'll see!

and because i'm me and can't ever commit to anything, yesterday i started writing a smutty AU where beth meets rio on an app to hook up with strangers as a form of revenge against dean when he cheats.

38. Talk about a review that made your day.

i got this incredibly nice review a few months ago on delinquents far after i'd posted the last chapter where someone was voraciously diving into it after starting the show post-cancellation, and it was so wonderful:

THIS FIC IS PERFECT, I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE WHERE IT GOES, I'VE BEEN REREADING SNAPSHOTS AND MAKING MY WAY THROUGH EVERY CHAPTER OF DELINQUENTS BUT GOING THROUGH THE LAST FEW MORE SLOWLY SO AS TO SAVOR THEM TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY AND… IT'S PERFECT. the worldbuilding (good lord, no other author has ever made me actually care about OCs as much as I care about Mar and Elena and Mr. Stewart and Ms. Patel and Vanessa and ???? MY GOD), the characterization, the meticulous thought/details you've put into absolutely everything -- Jesus Christ, I've been going through the delinquents tag on your Tumblr and salivating knowing that this story is so thoughtfully planned out and it's a journey I'll get to go on as a reader I'm--

I also recently just got into good girls and am so very sad about the cancellation, so part of why im commenting is also to say that -- there will ALWAYS be new people getting into shows that have been cancelled, and once all the episodes are done and watched (or rewatched ;) fic is really the best way for these wonderful characters to live on and I'm just-- so GRATEFUL the brio fandom has this, and has this story, and I'm... floored, tbh. absolutely fucking floored. more coherent comments to come very soon but just wanted to leave this here as I'm still actively fangirling, AHHHH

i'm always extremely tickled when someone loves my OCs, when they mention trying to savor the story, but also just falling deeply into it and going through the whole thing. it made me v giddy and i so appreciate it. it definitely jump started my motivation to return to the 'verse because it came at a time when i hadn't been able to carve out some writing time for a while.

40 questions for fic writers

[moongoddessmox]

Hello your goblin child has arisen from slumber

1&4 for the writer asks!!

good morning gobgob, it is way too early to be awake

1. Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

oh fuck, i'm working on a million things rn.

Love is Blind AU: Choose your own adventure type of deal where you have to choose between the men without knowing who each one is. Just knowing their AU form (biker/firefighter/professor/etc). I really love this one but I'm trying to write enough about them and how they talk without ever describing their looks or physical interactions...shits hard

Mafia!Reader x Lee Bodecker: This is gonna be a series, and it's actually something I want to write as a screenplay, so I'm still in the beginning stages of fleshing out this entire world and character backgrounds. But basically, Lee falls in love with a woman who he doesn't know is running the mafia in town.

TFATWS!Bucky x Reader: This is just a fn romcom of Bucky falling in love with a doctor in Louisiana who's friends with Sam. I made a movie poster for it, but it's like, lame as shit. Idk how to make it look better.

Chase Collins x Hunter!Reader: Supernatural x The Covenant crossover series. This one's been sitting a while but I have some written and I need to finish it. Reader goes on a hunt and lets Chase go, only for it to cause problems with Sam and Dean, but she falls for him.

Medieval!Loki x Royalty!Reader: Reader is a permanent guest at Odin's castle and falls in love with Loki, who shies away from her because he feels unworthy and it's frowned upon by everyone because they want her to marry up and they consider Loki a bad person.

Plums in Bucharest chapter 7: probably the final chapter, still trying to decide what I want to happen at the end. I don't wanna give spoilers on it lmao

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

yikes um, i dont really have on that i'm like "damn cant believe i wrote that amazing line!!!" lmfaoo but i do like this part of Plums in Bucharest bc i can envision it perfectly and the weight of this moment is intense

“Ah, but you don’t have it in you to kill, do you, Captain? That’s why she’s here.” Zemo’s thick accent ran chills across your skin as he looked you dead in the eyes

writer asks

[chateautae]

hey sammy how r u doing? just wanted to let u know that i’m rereading mid for the 5th time (don’t judge me lol) and i was wondering half way thro reading it what was ur favorite chapter to write and read? mine is definitely chapter 8! i love everything about that chapter it’s literally my favorite it’s so well written and the emotional build-up is just on point. you’re a genius i swear. also i know ure writing hotter than hell rn too and i can’t wait for it but i wanted to know is hotter than hell coming before to turn a bad thing good or after? cuz jk has been killing me lately and i can’t wait for a fanfic of his honestly. also thank you so much for ur writing i swear it keeps me sane sometimes lol🤍

I COULD NEVER JUDGE!! Ugh this is such a dream to hear as an author so thank you for making it come true 🥺💓 NAURRR this is such a tough question for me since every chapter was made with my utmost love and effort and having a favourite is uGH. But i think in terms of writing and the overall quality of the chapter's content, my favourites are definitely either chapter 8, chapter 10 or the final!! I shall answer the hotter than hell question at the end too hehe 😌

Chapter 8 was just completely my everything because the writing came so easily to me and i had been envisioning the exact scenes of angsty tension and that club scene since forever!! The scene where they dance and things are hot is probably the first real scene of maybe I do i ever thought of so seeing it play out was just OOF.

Chapter 10 is one of my favourites because being able to not only play around with the story but play around with the mid babies as a couple was possibly my favourite. Their little conversations or moments of pure happiness are perhaps my ultimate favourite because it's just them having this wonderful connection i enjoy illustrating, not to mention wifey oc really opening up about her trauma was some of the most raw writing i had ever produced.

Lastly, the final will always have a special place in my heart because I had always originally thought of the idea of a pregnancy scare, but i had never fleshed it out nor thought about her ever hiding it so much from him. The idea of her becoming so overwhelmed by it that it leads them to that devastating bathroom scene was possibly some of the realest writing i had ever had the capacity to depict because UGHHHH the idea was just everything, and tae lowkey knowing but giving her the time to talk was beautiful of. The little snapshots of their life was mere perfection to me and just the idea of them re-doing their wedding was always such a beautiful moment i had planned.

AHHH I'VE RAMBLED but thank you so much for asking me this question, it's not often i get asked of my opinion as the author!! Tysm for loving and reading maybe I do and i'm so glad you enjoyed the story!! hotter than hell will for sure come before to turn a bad thing good! i'm going to finish the lucifer jk story in its entirety before i move onto another jk!!

[heyjude19-writing]

Hello! I was just curious to know if there have been any changes in your writing pattern or planning pattern.. because you said you had RN in your mind for 7 years and if you're writing now(hopefully) without so many years of thoughts in your mind..is it any different?

I had various ideas in my mind and have written them down over the years..but now I'm just worried I won't be able to expand them properly? Some advice would be nice because RN is a beautiful piece of work!

Hello anon!

Oh I do not recommend holding in a story idea for a decade. My story planning process is very different now, because I’m no longer hiding from myself. RN was my 300k word mantra for too long. I’d mentally retreat into it when I needed an escape. When I finally let myself write it out, it was not with the intention to ever share (at first), so I had no word count in mind, nor a plan for how to break up chapters, I just wanted it out of my head. 

I am writing a new multi-chapter and a few one-shots now. I write every day and have given myself a daily word count goal. I would say the physical act of writing looks the same for me: I write down all the little scraps of dialogue, character notes, or scenes as I think of them, regardless of where they occur in the story. Apologies if you’ve heard this from me before, but I will forever remain a “fill in the blank” style writer, which is a blending of the plotter/pantser method. I know how my story starts, I know how it ends, I know the emotional arcs I’m giving my characters and which emotional beats they need to hit on their journey to reach my envisioned end. But I do not need to write in chronological order. My outlines are hilariously disorganized and rambling. 

And I would like to banish your worry about expanding on your ideas. Write them down. Write them all down. They may turn into absolutely nothing (some of my story ideas in my WIP files are one bullet point) or you might find it was the perfect jumping off point you needed to build a whole scene, then a whole fic around.

I often play the “what if” game with story threads to see if I can build something bigger. RN (chapter 8, Draco’s apology) is actually a ridiculous example of this exercise, even if it took me so fucking long to get it out. A shorter example would be Courting Customs Most Sacred: “what if Pansy manifested her clingy personality in a more positive way, like a friendship with Hermione?” and then I married it with another stray idea of “what if Narcissa tried to engineer a match between Hermione and Draco without their knowledge using some seriously insane pureblood customs?”

Because asking “what if?” of a story idea often leads to answering “why?”

Character X is in a situation. Why are they in this? What led them to this moment?

Which spirals me into: How are they feeling about this situation? What about their past is going to color how they act/react/speak? What’s their ultimate motivation?

So my advice is to indulge all your little head canons and if something excites you, chase it. Make your characters answer your questions and they will come across as authentic in whichever story you’ve crafted for them.

If it’s a confidence issue, let me be the one to give you permission to tell your inner self-loathing gremlin to fuck right off. There is an audience waiting for your story. This fandom is blessed with so many talented writers but it always needs more. Please don’t be afraid to add your voice.

[fyodorscenarios]

Hey I was just wondering which universities are you aiming for? I'm a junior in HS RN and I'm so stressed out LOL. I was curious because I really admire your writings and such. Regardless GOOD LUCK ON EVERYHTING I HOPE YOU PULL THROUGH!!

Hello! I don’t know if I’ll be much help since I’m Canadian and I only applied to schools in my country (unless you’re Canadian too), but I’ll try giving you some general tips. I know how stressful it can be, they really try to force you to decide what to do with your life way too early on. It really feels like everything happened so fast.

I’m putting the rest under the cut since my tips got kinda long, haha. 

Surprising to everyone here maybe, but I’m not applying to a writing program. I feel like I could never be a professional writer because personally I’ve never seen my creative writing as at that type of level. I write here mostly for fun and to get my ideas out into the world somehow, so for me writing is more of a hobby. I get too stressed out having to write creative stuff for school and I’ve never actually written anything other than fanfiction in my spare time. I never got amazing marks in English class since the teachers at my school mark really hard and I hate writing essays. I’d rather read in my spare time than have to write formal essays about books in a short time frame, it takes away the enjoyment of reading for me.

I’m actually applying to be a computer science major since it’s a pretty lucrative field and I liked it a lot when I took a class for it last year. I’m hoping to lean towards cognitive science since I’m also very interested in human psychology, and cog sci is like a combination of the two.

Personally, I applied for Computer Science at the University of Toronto (two campuses), Queen’s University, University of Waterloo, and Mcgill University. 

I based my decisions off of University rankings I found online. QS Top Universities is really great since you can browse by country and by subject, and I’m pretty sure their rankings are trusted well. QS also has tons of tips about the application process and choosing schools, so it’s a pretty great resource.

I suggest looking at the top schools in the field you’re applying for that you can probably obtain the admission average for. Try to find one school that is still fairly good but you know for sure that you can make the average for, it’ll be your backup school. Don’t be afraid to apply for schools where the average is a little bit higher either, you may be surprised with an acceptance. For instance, two of the schools I applied to have very high averages and one is a backup. Mcgill and Waterloo are both maybes, while U of T and Queen’s will probably accept me, U of T’s Scarborough campus is a backup since I don’t really want to go there but the average is lower than the main campus.

If one of the schools you’re applying to has an optional form where you can talk about extracurriculars, jobs, etc. Fill it out. They give you a much better chance of getting into wherever you’re applying.

You should try going on campus tours of schools you plan on applying to or are considering. Seeing the environment you’d be learning in and envisioning yourself there might help you decide later. You might want to consider the city the school is in as well and how far away from home you’ll be. Personally, I want to stay in residence so I can feel more involved in the school’s community, but if you feel more comfortable commuting go with that. You might also want to consider the size of the school, as schools with smaller programs might feel more comfortable, as you’ll be able to get to know more of the other students and your professors.

Some schools have open houses that include tours of residences, presentations about programs, and even sample lectures given by a professor in certain subjects. Open houses also allow you to ask important questions and talk to volunteering students about how they like it there. Most schools also have brochures that you can get in person or look at online telling you about their programs and facilities as well. University/College Fairs will also give you the opportunity to ask questions if campus open houses are hard for you to get to.

You should compare individual programs from different schools. Some of them may end up offering something or teaching in a way that sounds more appealing to you.

Personally, I want to learn another language while in University, so I checked out what kinds of language electives schools have. Most schools have a large variety of interesting courses though. I also looked at out-of-country exchange programs and Co-op that schools offer since I’m very interested in those. Co-op is available for a lot of programs (at least in Canada). It allows you to take a certain amount of time off school to work in the field you’re studying for! You get paid too, and it’ll look good on your resume when you graduate.

There’s tons of resources online. If you want tips about something specific or have a question about a program at a certain school, there’s a good chance that you can find the answer on Google. Lots of students will make posts about the program they’re in and what they like and don’t like about it, and many also provide tips to people who are considering applying to it. It also might be good to search for information about a school’s social community, as some might appeal to you more than others.

So yeah, that’s basically what I did to figure out where to apply to. Obviously you don’t have to apply to the top schools in your subject, that’s just what I wanted to do since I’ve been an overachiever most of my life and I feel pressured to continue.

In terms of what you apply for, what matters most is probably just applying for something you love or are interested in. If it’s something that you think will make you happy then go for it. It is pretty sucky how they force you to decide so soon though. Some of my friends still haven’t decided and applied to different programs, so you don’t have to feel pressured to choose one thing just yet.

Thank you so much for wishing me luck! Good luck to you as well! I’ve heard from many people that Post-Secondary School is much better than High School, so I’m sure we’ll both end up having a good time despite the stress.