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fortunelowtier · 5 months ago

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I was gonna reblog my original post but I didn't wanna spam people with a long ass post (this post is already long enough) so instead I'll just link the previous post here and if yall wanna go look at it you can, but the short version is that a few days ago I made a post talking about HBs incredibly high turnover rate, and apparently within a few days it got enough traction to where it started spreading to the higher-ups of Spindlehorse, including Viv herself. I decided to make this update post just as a way to debunk what I can and as clearly as I can.

First tweet:

So for starters, they say this as if IMDB's numbers aren't publically available, it's not like I pulled these numbers out of my ass without merit, these are numbers I got off of IMDB. And I know some people might pull the high school English teacher card of “Anyone can edit that!!” and to be honest I dont feel like going into the semantics of one of the most non-arguments you can possibly use so all I’ll say is that the process of editing a Wikipedia or IMDB page is not as easy as your English teachers taught you to think it is. Sure you can edit it but it's another story if the edit will be saved. There's moderation, it's not a free-for-all.

Also, I find it interesting how this tweet was made (and subsequently deleted) mere days after their promotion to Animation Director, and if there's anything I've learned from Spindlehorse controversies it is that if someone is in any real position at the top of the companies proverbial food chain they shouldn't be allowed to speak for the experiences of employees lower on the ladder than them, especially when a lot of them seem to have a habit of denying certain claims despite the public availability of numerous pieces of evidence pointing toward the contrary

It's like if you visited a bunch of former employees of a restaurant with a high turnover rate with proof that they had worked there and for exactly how long they worked there and then the manager comes along and tries to basically say “NUH UH” despite information proving the contrary being publicly available (maybe not the best analogy but you get what I mean)

—

Ok now onto the second one by Viv herself:

There’s a lot to dissect here so I’m gonna break it down bit by bit.

Firstly:

"They’re listing every single credited person in EVERY art department"

So the way I got my numbers was by going to the Series Animation Department section of HB's IMDB, highlighting every name from the beginning of the section to the end, and then pasting them into this website which gave me the line count of 444. Was that the most optimal way of doing so? No, especially after I learned after the fact that there's a way to just see the numbers straight up, but that hardly matters considering the fact that there are allegedly more people in the animation dept who were uncredited, however, I'm still waiting on some more info from my source as to the validity and the scale of these claims (How many people were uncredited, how little were they paid for their work, etc etc) to make a proper post about it, so until then ill just leave it at that as to not make accusations without merit.

So, humoring Viv, I added up the total IMDB credits for the Art Dept and Visual Effects Dept, as well as the Sound Dept since I qualify sound as a form of art and because I wanted to give Viv as fair a chance as possible and actually tally the total credits of “every art department” as Viv claims I did, and it still only equals 155 total credits, a little over a third of the credits in the Animation Dept

Secondly:

“That includes the TC and Chaos credits”

So these are in reference to Toon City and Chaos Emporium, 2 companies known as a source for outsourcing animation, and just to humor Viv I decided to go onto IMDB and tally up all of the Chaos and TC credits since according to her that's where I got most of my final number.

After doing so, Chaos Emporium had a total of 15 credits, and Toon City had a total of 45

So Viv is making it seem like the TC and CE credits make up a large majority of them, which is why I got the number I did, when in reality when combined they only equal 60 credits. 14% of the total (technically it’s 13.5% but I’m rounding to the nearest whole for the sake of convenience)

Thirdly:

“We dont even have 400 people. Simply Misinformation.”

You’re right Viv, you dont have 400 people, because I never said you did, nor did I imply you did. I said you've had 400. Of course you dont have 400 current employees, your company burns through them like paper because you underpay them while you go burning your Amazon and merch money on cruises and vacations and continuously post photos of you buying from zionist companies knowing full well that they're part of an active boycott.

—

So yeah, that's my 2 cents. Sorry if this sounded like some shit you'd see on a Twitlonger but after Viv was made aware of the posts I made about the turnover rate (and subsequently blocked me within the hour after seeing it) I knew that it wasn't gonna be long before I had people DMing me about how wrong I was because “Viv said it was wrong so it must be wrong”.

One more thing I wanna add because I've gotten a lot of angry messages/asks about this, a lot of Viv stans seem to think I have this bizarre hate boner for Viv when I really don’t. I don’t hate Viv, I hate what she’s become. I hate how ever since the HH pilot she’s become a bully who can’t take criticism. And not just on the surface level of “criticism makes her upset”, because yea no shit, criticism makes everyone upset at least a little, and it's why I hate it when people see someone being upset at criticism and going “ERMM, CANT TAKE CRITICISM?”

When I say “Viv can’t take criticism” I mean she actively tries to shut down any convo about it without trying to learn from it. She blocks anyone who talks poorly about her or her company and makes baseless claims knowing full well her fans will follow her to the ends of Hell regardless of whether or not what she’s saying is even correct.

That’s all I got for now

#spindlehorse critical #helluva boss critical #vivziepop critical

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ratwavegamehouse · 1 month ago

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Transgender Deathmatch Legend has a few solid facts about your player character (your Face). You're explicitly trans, you're explicitly a wrestler and implicitly you exist in a world that is hostile to you.

Character creation in the original TDL focused on key pick lists to fill in some of your backstory and then pulling cards to create a finisher. Character creation for the sequel builds on that while also adding questions that are intended to guide players towards creating more well rounded, full textured characters.

The ring names you can pick from got an overhaul (basically to keep things fresh for long term fans). The intention of those names is if you grab one from the picklist it's evocative enough you can start to build a whole character around that. If you decide to not pick one and just make your own hopefully the picklist has served as some inspiration. Here's four of the picklists names I think are particurlaly good:

Tiger Masc

“Hot Rod” Trinity

“Flaming” Blu Heatly

“The Consequence” Shelly Theodore

Dominator 1

The two big picklists then focus on your shoot background and the gimmick you have. Similarly to how you pick a ring name and a gimmick name the character creation in Transgender Deathmatch Legend is reminding you that you are someone who puts on a persona. That persona might be a lot like you, or it might be an escape from parts of yourself. I think this an element where the game reminds you of that a lot and then assumes that someone used to roleplaying games should find something interesting in there.

(There's more explanation on how gimmicks are thought off and an outright blunt question of "how much of your real self is in this gimmick?" in TDL2 to help out people less used to thinking about performance and personas. It's a theme that compels me as someone who's been a wrestler, a comedian, and a teacher; areas where to different extents you're putting on a mask.)

Here's some of the shoot backgrounds:

Started learning the ropes after experiencing a hate crime

Introed to wrestling through an ex-best friend

Wrestling legacy blacksheep

And here's some gimmick starting points:

Flamboyant showboat who frustrates and flusters your opponents

An old-school throwback with a loud personality

A serious shooter with black trunks and black boots and a mean look

A tortured anti-hero who mines pain for pathos

An in-your-face punk with skills honed in bar room brawls

(These are broad because you can match them up with the implications of the shoot name you've picked or created and that combination brings a gimmick to life)

More open questions in the game include stuff like "Describe your gender, both in the terms you use to yourself and to society." and "Did you realise you were trans before you became a wrestler?" as well as the aeformentioned real self/gimmick question. There's also a picklist for "what people say about you" which is obviously a very different question than what you're actually like. These questions are there to get players thinking about how their characters marginalisation affects how they interact with the world around them.

The drawing cards for a finisher mechanic is back, though expanded this time so there's a unique table for each different fighting style.

At the top of this page you can see that one of the scenarios (Fight Forever) involves doing a mirror image character creation for your rival, before playing out a series of fights through time that defined your relationship. I think the most interesting question there is the open one "Are you trans as well?". Like, this scenario specifically is about fighting/sport as a relationship. I think that question has a lot of repercussions about what that relationship is build on; is it something you have in common and connected over, where you placed together as the only two trans people in a way that feels semi patronising, or is there a tension in that one of you just has significantly more opportunities in the world than their creative partners.

So yeah, that's an overview of character creation. I'll probably do a layout sample of what it'll look like in the book proper sometime. The games launches on the 29th and things have been slower than I'd have liked (I worry that the games content has meant it hasn't been favoured by the algorithms of the world). If you're excited about the game giving the teaser page a pre-save would go a long way to ensuring the launch is successful. There's big exciting things coming for this as a campaign, but to get to any of that I need to hit that initial goal. I'm not down for the count yet.

#indie ttrpg #game design #ttrpg #tdl2 #character creation

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danieyells · 3 months ago

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How much money do I have to throw at you to hear your opinion on which gouls are chubby chasers?

Are you the same anon who sent me an ask about which ghouls prefer chubbier partners at the beginning of the month lol YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY ME (i mean if anyone wants to offer me money i won't complain unless you're also struggling financially--) I'M JUST VERY VERY VERY SLOW AT ANSWERING ASKS A LOT OF THE TIME ANON. I like to dedicate time and effort to details and my adhd is like. If you do not have the energy or attention span or immediate thought to dedicate to this task i'm not gonna let you do it. Hence the slow responses.

Another thing is that. I feel like this is a somewhat difficult question with the way my brain is. Because while I(and my brother and my father even!) find fat people/characters attractive(if not more attractive/aesthetically pleasing!!! And I'm fat and my dad was fat!) my brain's just like. . .that's a given. People are generally pretty attractive in general, especially chubby people. How do I articulate this without making it disappointing? How do I articulate what or why they find this attractive without saying 'that's just how it is'? "There's no deeper feeling or explanation" is something i could say about anyone and if I do that it doesn't really feel like it. . .goes with a character. . . .

But enough excuses. I'll do my best and I'll hope you like it. Originally i tried to make a shortlist and then it became a proper list. 🙃 This is why i never get anything done.

Some nsfwish ahead!

Tohma - the fringes of society from whence he originates tend to have greater body type variance. You might think his concern for health would sway him away from a fat or chubby partner, but he knows well enough that being bigger is not a health risk(or sign of bad health) in and of itself. Also if you're into food being well-fed is also very good for you isn't it? He has fun molding you into someone befitting of high society--no compromises to your weight or shape and no shit taken from those around when he can hear. Tailored clothing without a word of complaint. Dance lessons where he's, perhaps, a little handsy with showing you where and how to move your body and hold yourself. He likes the weight of your body in his arm when he dips you. He likes the 'extra padding' that makes it feel like he doesn't have to worry as much about his brute strength when he's sleeping with you. The soft and """imperfect""" shape of your body takes him away from the pressures of the things he has to do and the ridiculous standards of high society. You're a grounding in reality, for a moment, before he goes back to the fake world he works in. And well since he doesn't have to be fake and maybe doesn't have to be as gentle, you can have a few glimpses of the former Vice Captain of Vagastrom and the way he appreciates every curve of your body with strong, rough hands, squeezing and caressing. You're much easier to lift up to a ghoul like him than you may think. He couldn't help himself when you react so well to sudden things like being grabbed, a swift and subtle smack to your ass or thighs, being scooped up off the ground--

Kaito - Kaito's interest started off with bad pickup articles that told him that fat people were less confident and thus more readily available and easier to flirt with. That turned into 'well what if I do land a bigger person' and actually putting in effort to understand what he should do and what he should and shouldn't say, and how he should handle a chubby partner's body and. . .he wound up in a rabbithole of pictures and video that filled his head with all sorts of appreciation for something that hadn't really done anything special for him before. He's not a big guy. He is the shortest of all of the ghouls and faculty save Cornelius. He's also not the biggest in terms of his body--he's pretty scrawny and a little softer himself, actually. Not chubby, but. He definitely feels closer to you than to everyone else around him who's in stupidly amazing shape. Even if you aren't unconfident about your body the way he is about his, he feels more comfortable and a little less like he has to idk push to be someone he's not when you can just be you(or, well, you don't have a choice really, you can't really just pretend to not be chubby.) Also, something about being with someone who's body kind of overwhelms his own does it for him--he kind of has to admit his 'weakness' there but he certainly won't let it stop him from working around it. Also. . .as a ghoul he's physically stronger than a human and being with you makes him feel strong! He can lift you up, believe it or not! He sure as hell doesn't believe it!!! Definitely not with as much ease as others but!!! Also, bonus if you're into pastries and sweets--he loves baking and he will feed you. And if you appreciate that he can bake pretty well he'll love you even more.

Lucas - similarly to Tohma, being from the UK, he's more accustomed to people who're bigger than the societal and cultural standards he's now surrounded with tend to find permissible. Again you might think that with his focus on training and strengthening his body that your body might be 'untrained' and he would find that unappealing--and maybe he does at first. But I think he would find it more appealing as time goes on. Even if you're 'untrained', there's something. . .admirable about that? It's difficult for him to put into words when he's trying to be less thoughtless. You aren't burdened in the way he is. You don't need to work yourself to the same degree to feel like you're achieving your goals. He could never be that way, certainly, but. . .he wants to protect you as you are and desire to be. It starts with a mindset like that, of being happy that you don't need to do what he does, and graduates into a. . .fascination. Maybe you train with him a little bit one day, even if it's just stretches or meditation. But the way you move and carry yourself is different. The way your body flows is different, and before long he realizes he spends a lot of time staring at your body. It's rude of him, but he thinks a lot about how your body must feel. About how your body moves when you do and what other ways he could see it moving--and he's not used to thoughts like that. He works himself up very quickly and easily without thinking about it. He would never burden you with his needs, but he can imagine what it would be like if you helped him. . .soft, warm, heavy, giving gently under his hands, your stomach such a contrast to his while pressed against it. . .round cheeks turning up when you smile at him. . .maybe it's just because it's you. He's noble, but he's not immune.

Alan - Much like Tohma and Luca he's a lot more accustomed to being around a varied type of people and his insane strength makes the prospect of someone who's, perhaps, a little less fragile more appealing to him. Which isn't to say he would treat you any less gently--you're still human and he's still. . .him. But he's a little less afraid of making mistakes. He doesn't have any sort of in-depth thoughts on what appeal to him about a bigger person beyond that--that and he really has an appreciation for. . .the contrast. He's more muscle than fat(which isn't to say he's the shape of some kind of body builder, he recognizes the importance of fat in maintaining his body's strength and capabilities, and also he eats a lot) and you're the opposite of all of his harder muscular parts. Also. . .your cheeks are soft and really cute. He pats them along with patting you on the head. He wants to hold you and bury his face against you but he's still pretty afraid of what damage he could do. . .but it's a lot easier to imagine safely doing so with you. Well, he still wants you to be careful.

Leo - Leo seems derogatory and egotistical first and foremost. He seems to be insulting your weight, your appearance, the way your clothes fit you, the space you take up. But oh boy. You somehow endure that and you will quickly find that Leo is one of the most physically affectionate people and it turns out he's all about touching you. He's a lot more cuddly once he warms up to you(and frankly that doesn't take long--he very well may be insulting you while cuddling you). And you have so many great places to lie down on and cuddle up to! And so much more space to leave marks all over too. . . . Eventually he'll be more straightforward with that he straight up thinks you're sexy and he likes the way your body feels and looks and there's no deeper meaning behind it--he's an asshole towards everyone, isn't he? How's it any surprise he's not any different towards you while still wanting to fuck you? Did you need him to spell it out? He's usually only blandly sweet towards people he wants something from, or to be mocking. If you want him to spell it out for you more he can--as long as you've admitted to liking him first--but he'll make a big deal about it.

Sho - Sho is a flirty playboy athlete and maybe that means you'd think he'd have basic tastes. Maybe you'd think if he came up to you and hit on you he'd be trying to make fun of you. Not so. He is very serious, even if he's probably not after something serious. But if he were ahahaha. Hahaha. Congratulations. Sho is a catch. If you happen to be a fan of food and eating he loves when people appreciate his food and he will feed the absolute hell out of you and praise you for eating and being big(and if you gain weight then that's just as much as a compliment.) It's not really a feederism thing, he just really likes cooking and he really likes when people appreciate the flavors and effort behind his food(in contrast to Leo who always lets his food get cold and smothers it in hot sauce--). That aside, Sho loves showing off. He's also one of the physically stronger ghouls thanks to athleticism and he can lift and throw you without it being any sort of effort. And he thinks it's fun to do that! Especially without warning you!! (He'll only throw you onto his couch or bed, you're not in any danger. He might move you places though, or use your body as a weight to lift.) Sho is pretty direct about his thoughts and feelings--even if he takes his flirting back half the time--so he would probably be the most open about that he specifically finds that you are fat attractive. He. . .might be a bit of a fuckboy about it and make a lot of sexual comments about how attractive your body is(which isn't to say he won't say anything about that you're attractive in general! You're absolutely cute/hot/pretty/sexy/beautiful/handsome/[preferred aesthetic compliment here] even when he's not sexualizing you and aside from your weight, but he'll let you know that, yes, something he finds attractive about you is your size/shape/weight.) but rest assured that you probably won't be left wondering if he finds you attractive. He'll tell you. Like Leo, he also likes to leave marks so. . .be ready for that too. Oh, are you worried about Bonnie? She's fine! She's a strong girl. Get on the bike.

Towa - Towa is another one who doesn't have a lot of thoughts about this. He very much likes what he likes. He's also another physically affectionate and strong one who likes to show off how strong he is--everything about your body appeals to that he wants to scoop you up and cuddle you and protect you. You're cute and weak and that doesn't change even if you're chubby. Your round face and soft neck and hands and tummy are extra cute! In the past, he wouldn't have felt this way--but his feelings changed along with his feelings towards small, weak things. Expect a lot of unannounced contact, getting picked up and carried places. . .well, that's kind of normal for Towa regardless of body shape--

Ren - Similarly to Leo, he seems kind of mean at first. . .but he's tsundere, that's how he is. His complaints are mostly about you taking up space and sexually harassing him(touching him due to perceived lack of space.) But. . .he actually really likes the warmth and softness pressed against his side. He just won't admit it. He'll complain the whole way as always but he's not good at being subtle about looking at you or actually choosing to be near you. Making excuses as usual. Once you're close enough he'll. . .continue to complain about lack of space. . .while getting in your space and lying against you while he plays games or watches movies. People keep telling him how lazy he is and how fat he's gonna get if he keeps slacking off but. . .it fits you pretty well. Would it really be all that bad? He likes cuddling up to you(when offered or when he eventually gets over himself or blurts out that he wants to, whichever comes first) and maybe you'd like cuddling up to him more of he were bigger. What does he care. (When you sleep together, as expected he makes you do all the work. But he loves that, the feeling and sight of you riding him or sitting on his face, smothering him. . . .)

Taiga - Taiga is not allowed to eat people. Taiga is not supposed to eat humans or other ghouls and he and Romeo and their previous captain and Nicolas put a lot of effort into weaning him off of cannibalism despite that he honestly does think anomalies taste better(humans are just more readily available and he's gotta bring anomalies back, not eat them.) That being said in Taiga's eyes you are marbled like a wagyu steak and he wants to bite into every part of you--he always thought that more fat made a human taste better. That has not changed but has, instead, manifested into a different sort of allure. Maybe he wants to bite you a little, but he won't. . .not any more than he'd bite most anyone else anyway. Instead he'll pet you and grope you and tell you to wag your tail for him(and you have so much more tail to wag--) and maybe his nickname for you(because unless you've got a real short but also unique enough name he's not gonna remember your name, so you'll get a nickname) will play on your weight or shape. And his hunger will translate to other types of hedonistic hunger--he loves using his mouth and tongue and you will feel it even if he doesn't use his teeth. He also hates to be cold and will expect you to get in his bed and warm it up for him--and also stay there like a good cuddly pillow. You're perfect for all kinds of things he likes and, kind of like Sho, he's not a guy with a filter--he'll be a little blunt about how much he likes specifically that you're chubby and how perfect that is. And how hungry it makes him. But he won't eat you unless you're an anomaly, so don't worry! He's just gonna bite you and bruise you and cut you but he'd do that with just about any partner, so don't think too hard about it!!!

Haku - Once again, you are the pillow partner for your lazy boyfriend here. You're gonna be cuddled and kissed and slept all over. But also, Haku is much too flirty, much too appreciative of you and your body, and he has no shame about telling you you're attractive and that he wants you--he's not as perverse about it as Sho but you will never have any doubt that you and your body are well loved by Haku, as if he would ever leave room for any doubt. Hold his hand, let him put his arm around you no matter who's watching, sit in his lap whether or not you're invited. Haku is such a simple, loving flirt, how could he possibly not be drawn in when there's more of you to love? He doesn't like using his ghoul strength but he does like showing off for you, so if you might like being carried like a princess he wouldn't even think of it as something that might be "more work". It's never work if it's to please you. Yeah he likes his sex lazy and slow but that's all the more time to indulge in your body.

Edward - Ed is similar to Taiga in that his vampiric predatory instinct plays into his attraction to your body--but he's got much better control over himself. When he says you look delicious he doesn't mean it as much in that he wants to feast on you as that he wants to feast on you. (The videos he's been watching have been filling his head with rather. . .offensive thoughts on fat people. You want to prove him wrong, don't you? Of course you do--it's not fair that he thinks that way. . . .Filling your head with thoughts? Don't be silly, he's assured Darkwick he would never engage in any form of enthrallment. . .it's in writing, if you want to look into it.) He's also in the 'I'm used to more varied body types' group--both because he's been all over the world and because he's old. People's bodies were generally more well rounded when he was younger. Not that he's picky, but your body is more familiar and welcoming for him. On top of that he feels so much more comfortable at rest beside you--you're warm and plush and he is so very tired. . .and if you want to lie on top of him like a comfy living weighted blanket he won't have any protest. He's a whiner always saying how weak and delicate he is, but he's a ghoul and a vampire and he's just exaggerating so he can get away with being lazy. He would be happy to have you atop him--in many measures of the word. He is a little cold, isn't he? And his room, similarly cold? If you'll help warm him up he can return the favor--he might just need a little snack from between your legs. . . . No need to worry about him, he doesn't need to breathe, so put all of your weight on him and don't have a care in the world. He may need your body to solve a little problem that's arisen once he's had his fill, but it's okay if you want to take the lying back role while he puts in the effort--he's much more energetic after a meal, after all.

Lyca - (Of course if you're a girl you're evil and scary and dangerous but. . . .) Even if he insists he's human, he has a very animal mind much of the time. What's there to dislike about someone who's body is clearly well fed and also better suited to winter? That means you're healthy and don't have to worry about starving or freezing right? That makes you a good mate! You're also a more fun art subject--if you let him draw you, he'll put so much love and work and detail into every curve and dip and aspect of your body. He may touch or circle you to try and get a good feel for the work he's doing, but it's not for a perverted reason! He's trying to draw you right!! For some reason, maybe because he considers himself human, Lyca doesn't feel as much of a predatory urge towards you--as long as you're not nearing a full moon anyway. You definitely seem more like a plump prey animal then, but he won't let that change anything. You're both humans, so he's not going to treat you differently. He does have to resist the urge to push his nose into the rolls of your body where it's warm and your scent gathers more, but he's happy to snuffle up to you(as long as you don't touch his blanket) all through the night. Sex is. . .he's still getting used to thoughts like that, so you may need to help him a lot. . .but he's very engaged with the movement of your body, the bounce and ripple and the feel under his hands. . .it's a very human experience, his senses say so--this isn't like how wolves do things, this isn't how wolves feel, this is human and he's human and you're human and. . . .

Jiro - in medical studies there's a gap in understanding of effects of medicines and illnesses on bodies considered "overweight". If there's a gap in knowledge in regular medicine there's sometimes a similar one in anomalous medicine. Gaps in knowledge make Jiro curious, they make him interested, and lo and behold he's been drawn to more interesting subjects. He doesn't usually think in unprofessional thoughts, but if something interests him more then isn't it worth thinking about when solving certain problems? You'd never know he has such an attraction to bigger bodies because. Well, Jiro rarely shows any interest in anything. If anything he expresses the interest clinically and requests your assistance in filling in gaps. Obviously you're only one person and that's nothing for a sample size, but it's a start. He's so analytical regarding your body that it's almost. Sensual. Carefully recording fat distribution, asking about history. Is your body this way because of diet, exercise, medical history, genetics, something else? Weight loss never comes up as a 'solution' unless there's some aspect of your weight that might actually verifiably be an issue(such as with effectiveness of certain medications, but even then it's a last suggestion compared to 'try a different medication' or 'increase dosage if you're comfortable doing so.') He finds your body interesting in a clinical way and that leaks over into a personal interest. He's spent enough time studying your body medically that he's interested in. . .studies outside of his usual area of expertise, I'm sure he'd say. Has the growth of your body affected your nerves and, if so, are you more or less sensitive in certain places? How do your stretch marks feel--do they itch or hurt or have any sensation at all? Do you like when he touches them? Cellulite is a harmless, painless part of fat accumulation, is the same true for you? He's stroking you a little bit more than you think is necessary for an examination? You might be right. That's his bad. You also might be right to point out that he's a little aroused. He'll handle it when he's done, so will you comply a little longer? He has more questions and tests he wants to run. This isn't official work, so you can stop whenever you want. It'll be a long time before he really addresses his sexual interest, but that's normal for Jiro. It'll be faster if you. . .offer your assistance, of course. But he won't make it unprofessional if you won't. (Jiro also likes baking because it's a lot like making medicine--precise numbers and amounts, mixing things in the proper methods and orders--so he's another 'I'll feed you if you're into that' boy. Don't worry, he won't put anything strange in your food. Probably.)

Yuri would specifically be more attracted to fat women(or feminine people--) because there's something. . .motherly about that to him. And we know what a mamas boy he is.

I don't think any of them wouldn't find a chubby or fat partner attractive except maybe Romeo. Romeo very specifically because he has a voiceline in which he complains that you look like "a fat slug" when you're bundled up in the winter, and more or less says he doesn't wanna be seen with you like that. Which doesn't necessarily mean he's not capable of being attracted to somebody bigger--it much more likely means "that doesn't fit you in an aesthetically appealing way and you are not meeting my standards"--but it struck me as sticking to conventional standards in a strict and negative way. He'd just need more time to like you and your body would have to come after. He has no problem feeding you on his birthday so it's not like he's going to force you to be skinny.

BUT UH. THERE'S THAT. I HOPE IT ISN'T DISAPPOINTING OR UNPLEASANT. SORRY THAT SOME ARE SO MUCH SHORTER THAN THE OTHERS. MAYBE JUST A LIST WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER BUT I'M NOT GOOD AT THAT. . . .

#danie yells answers #danie yells with anons #danie yells at tokyo debunker #nsftish #tohma ishibashi #kaito fuji #lucas errant #alan mido #leo kurosagi #shohei haizono #towa otonashi #ren shiranami #taiga hoshibami #haku kusanagi #edward hart #lyca colt #jiro kirisaki

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y-rhywbeth2 · 10 months ago

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To-do list for the inheritor of the newly re-established office of High Primate of Bhaal of the City of Baldur's gate, circa 1480-something: politics, re-establishing the faith and getting Bhaal more sorely needed worship. And because there's only so much entertainment you can get being a group of twitchy killers living under the sewers.

Negotiate terms with local government for freedom of religion (presumably a private audience with the Grand Dukes, maybe the Parliament of Peers, maybe both, idk) Negotiations will probably begin with a more diplomatic version of: "I apologise on behalf of my Father for that thing where he manifested an avatar and went on a murderous rampage through the streets just over a century after my siblings almost drowned the world - and this city specifically - in blood. But also, considering the power just illustrated I think it's fair to say that it's in the best interests of a quiet life and an easier clean up that you just give us our temple back and let us worship in exchange for assassination and spying work on your behalf." This being the usual arrangement with evil faiths, it is in fact a winning argument. You don't kill anybody who matters (so criminals, travellers nobody knows, the homeless, etc) and honestly nobody will consider it worth the time and resources to stop you anyway. -

Weaken the political hold of enemy faiths Ilmater, Lathander and Helm have an established presence in the city, and the Ilmatari have done well enough since 14th century to upgrade from a shrine to a temple. All three of those faiths are better established, more influential, and will oppose the growth and activity of a Bhaalist presence, for some strange reason, -

Re-establish ties with traditional allied faiths (such as they are) Bhaal's traditional allies were Loviatar, Talona, Bane, Myrkul, Mask and Hoar. While none of these faiths hold the same level of sway in the city their enemies do, they all have at least one shared enemy. -

Eliminate rival/dissenting thieves and assassin guilds and organisations. Maybe establish some. Don't expect to have the thieves guilds at your beck and call (Mask is their patron god, but Bhaal generally worked with him fine - and you'll be fighting the Sharrans for influence too) but do make a space for yourself in there and ensure they understand that patronage and cooperation is mutually beneficial. Assassins? They're Bhaal's and he and his worshippers are going to expect all killers for hire to be paying their dues to the Lord of Murder or expect a "cease and decease" regarding their attempts to profit off of his domain without paying him back. -

Acquire Temple holdings Most of a temple's wealth and influence is going to come from owning land and properties. All members of the clergy of pretty much all faiths are expected to go out and claim some. Unfortunately being out of the picture for a century+ means the temple has lost a lot of its original holdings, so you might need to start working on taking some from the other temples... -

Network, Infiltrate and Recruit Gods always need more worshippers, and that goes double for gods who've been dead for a long time. Serial killers need the law to play nice. It's time to remind the peasantry to pay their "don't murder me taxes" (known as "tithes" for legal purposes) and find the city's more murderous members - even many who'd proudly call themselves upstanding citizens may just desire the execution of certain criminals the law won't touch or can't catch - and seek sympathetic ears amongst the rich and powerful... and remove and replace those who aren't. There are plenty of people like unscrupulous younger children whose ear you might have if only you helped them remove the pesky barriers standing between them and control, known as their relatives. And then you have blackmail! Things like that. Remember to wash the blood off before attending any fancy wine tasting parties in estates and pavilions in the upper city. You want your faithful in the ranks of the city watch and the Fist sooner rather than later. -

Establish presence in the Undercellar As the local criminal underworld hub where the law dare not tread (unless they're off duty and here for some crime themselves) this is where a lot of your "public" work and contracting is going to be. Remember to buy one of the back rooms for the "private shows". -

Consider a Daytime Identity, if you don't already have one An important part of being a typical Bhaalist is maintaining a separate, normal life outside the temple that allows you your own income and solid alibies... or you could just live in your dad's house, cling to your divine status and refuse to do any of that mortal stuff, I guess. -

Start repairs on the Temple It's been a dusty, out of date ruin for 100+ years. Consider the structural damage. Maybe have the butler do a bit of dusting.

#I just love the potential political aspects of the Temple of Bhaal #You can do so much more with it than just “secret murder club”#“Destroy the world” has atmosphere but it's also a fucking stupid plan #Sarevok is going to have to coach Vel on this politicking shit #I really hope Vel and Orin had to attend events together #/durge #long post #babbling #villainous nonsense

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winchesterwild78 · 6 months ago

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Behind the Scenes pt 2

Master List

Minors DNI 18+

Warnings: jealousy, sex scene filming, language, SMUT

A/N: You are newly hired on Supernatural. Your character was supposed to be a one and done but the fans loved you so they wrote you in the story. You were supposed to play Sam’s love interest, but things get complicated when you fall for someone behind the scenes. This is a work of fiction. No disrespect to Jensen or Jared or their families. *kinda a long chapter, just wanted to set up the story*

I edited this fast- please forgive any mistakes

This is my original work, do not take it.

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The next few days were somewhat relaxing. You hung out with Jared, Misha and some of the other cast and crew. Noticeably absent from the get togethers was Jensen. One night Misha joking around said Jensen must be held up at his apartment with his latest flavor of the month. You looked at Jared and he offered you an apologetic look. You smiled softly and turned your head, tears pricking your eyes.

You got up to walk in the kitchen to grab a water and Jared followed you. “Hey Y/N, you okay.” He questioned. You told him what happened the other day before Jensen left and he was just as confused as you were. He sent Jensen a text.

Jared: Hey man. We are all hanging out at Misha’s if you’re around.

Jensen: We might swing by. Not sure yet. I’ll let you know.

Jared: “we” who’s we?

Jensen: Katie. You met her a few months ago. We ran into each other the other day and have been hanging out.

Jared: Yeah I remember her. Um, what about Y/N? I thought you liked her.

Jensen: Yeah, it didn’t work out. It’s for the best. She’s your love interest on the show and I just think it would be for the best if we didn’t hook up.

Jared: okay man. Whatever you say. Maybe see you later.

Jared looked at you and said “I’ve been friends with him for years and I don’t know what he’s thinking. He’s out with some girl right now. He said they might come by. I’m so sorry Y/N. I swear he told me he wanted to be with you.” A lump formed in your throat and you felt sick. “It’s okay Jared. I mean we only kissed and I guess he decided he really didn’t want to see where we went.” You said fighting back tears.

You took a sip of water and went outside to the deck. You sat listening to the crickets and the laughter from inside. You couldn’t believe your heart was breaking. It was just a kiss. He changed his mind. He’s allowed to do that. It’s for the best. Getting involved with a coworker is always a bad idea. You kept telling yourself this over and over. Then you heard his voice. You turned around and saw Jensen with his arm around a very attractive, slender, blonde woman.

Everyone was greeting Jensen and her. You noticed he kept looking around. You wondered what he was looking for. You heard Jensen introducing the woman as “Katie” and she seemed really sweet. You stayed on the deck unable to move. Jared saw you and made his way outside to you. “Hey, you okay” he asked throwing an arm around your shoulder. “Yeah I’m good. Just wanted to get some fresh air. I’m not feeling great so I think I’m gonna head home.” You said fighting back tears. Jared nodded and walked back inside with you.

You made your way through the people saying goodbye as you walked. You were almost at the door when Misha stopped you. “Hey, Y/N. Where are you going” he asked. As you turned to tell him goodbye you saw Jensen with Katie standing next to him. “I’m heading out. Not feeling too good. I think I had a little too much to drink and not enough to eat.” You said not making eye contact with Jensen. Misha completely clueless said “oh okay. Yeah that sucks. Before you leave did you get a chance to meet Jensen’s girl, Katie.” “No, I don’t think I have. Hello, I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you Katie. I don’t mean to be rude but I really should be going.” You said after shaking her hand.

You looked up at Jensen and nodded. He looked at you almost apologizing but you had to be mistaken. “Well good night everyone, nice to meet you Katie. I’m sure I’ll see you around again soon.” You spun on your heels and went out the door.

Jensen followed you outside. You knew he was there. You could smell his cologne. “Hey, Y/N wait a second please.” He almost whispered. You looked at him “what Jensen”. “I need to explain. I” “No! (You cut him off) You don’t need to explain anything. You kissed me, wanted to be together, then you said you didn’t. There’s nothing to fucking explain. Go back inside to your girlfriend. I’m going home.” You hissed at him. You climbed in your car, slammed the door and took off.

Jensen stood in the driveway for a few minutes then went back inside. He went over to Jared and asked for your number. Jared hesitantly gave it to him.

*Time jump 3 weeks*

You started to become more comfortable with the set, the cast and the crew. Today however was going to be a more challenging shoot. Your character and Sam have sex for the first time. You’ve read over the script multiple times, met with the crew who would be present during the scene and Jared. They explained everything to you and assured you none of your body would appear on screen. Just your bare back and the only crew on set would be the director, Jared, you and two female assistants to help you in any way you needed.

Your wardrobe was flesh colored intimate covers and your robe to get you to and from set. Jared’s was pretty much the same thing. You were in your trailer reading over the script trying not to be nervous but you couldn’t help it. There was a knock at your door and it was Jared. “Hey, um Rick is sick and can’t direct the shoot today. They have called in another director.” He said reluctantly. “Oh, okay. Are they aware of the scene today and everything we have in place for it.” You asked. Jared nodded. “So Y/N, the director is Jensen.” Jared said. “Wait, what?!?” You exclaimed. “This can’t be.” You said. “Why would they have him direct?!” You practically yelled.

“He has experience and he was available today. The studio didn’t want to push the schedule so we were behind. It’s going to be okay. I promise. Jensen is very professional and I’ll be there.” He assured you. You sighed. “Okay Jared. Let’s get this over with.” You stood heading towards the door.

As you and Jared approached the set you saw Jensen looking incredible. You instinctively bit your lip. He was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt that hugged his chest and biceps. It wasn’t fair how this man could look like sex on two legs no matter what he was wearing.

Jensen’s voice boomed over the set asking for everyone to clear out unless they were part of the scene. He approached you and Jared and asked if you two were ready. You both nodded. He went over the scene and how he was going to get multiple angles and shots so they can piece together the best ones. He called for places. You and Jared removed your robes. The assistant helping you held up a sheet to wrap around you until you got in the bed. You climbed in and snuggled to “Sam”. “And action” Jensen called.

The beginning of the scene was you laying beside Sam and he was making sure you were ready for the next step. You nodded and he cupped your face kissing you. Things started heating up and the scene moved on. Sam was hovering over Lilah. “God you’re so beautiful, Lilah. Are you sure you’re ready” Sam asked. “Yes I am. Take me Sam. I need you” you said. Jared positioned himself in between your legs and “pushed in” as he started to move and you moaned you heard Jensen yell “cut”.

“What’s wrong” Jared asked. “I don’t know. I just don’t think she’s giving a convincing scene. I need more from you. Sam is a moose and he’s big. I need to believe it.” Jensen said. “Okay” you said in a small voice. Jared leaned down and said you did great but to follow his lead. You shook your head in agreement.

“Action” Jensen yelled. Sam pushed in again and you gasped loudly grabbing his shoulders. Moans from you and Jared filled the room. It was very convincing. Jared leaned down and said in your ear “you’re doing great. Now let’s get this party started”. You stifled a giggle. Jared sped up and flipped you over on your knees. This took everyone by surprise. Jensen’s jaw was on the floor but he couldn’t call cut. The way the sheet laid over your body and the moans falling from your lips turned him on more than he cared to admit. If anyone had been looking at his they would have noticed he was getting hard.

Sam and Lilah were moaning and filling the room with the sounds of pleasure. Jared moved and had you straddle him. The sheet pooled around your hips exposing your breasts. Jensen bit his lip but kept rolling. You started to ride Jared and ran your fingers in your hair. Your breasts were bouncing up and down and Sam sat up cupping them. You moaned his name as he took a nipple in his mouth. You knew he couldn’t really because the covers on them, but your moans were pretty convincing. So convincing Jensen yelled cut.

“Jared what the hell man. None of this was part of the scene” Jensen yelled. “You know we improvise a lot of these scenes. What the hell is your problem man. You keep stopping the scenes” Jared demanded. You looked over your shoulder and saw Jensen had a noticeable bulge in his jeans. Jared saw it too and reality struck him. Jensen was jealous. Jensen called for lunch and everyone cleared the set except you, Jared and Jensen. You covered up with the sheet and Jared got up to talk to Jensen.

“Dude what the hell is wrong with you. The scenes are going great. She’s an incredible actress. Give her a break. You’re the one who decided not to pursue her.” Jared reminded him. Jensen ran his hands down his face in a frustrated sigh. “I know. The scene was perfect. You guys have incredible chemistry and I guess I got jealous. I want her to moan my name and be mine. I fucked up man. She wants nothing more to do with me. Not that I blame her.” Jensen said. Jared looked at him and said “Man you have to figure out what you want. If you want her then tell her. Stop being a coward. If you don’t want her then let her be. It’s not right man.”

“You’re right man. Can you give us a minute to talk” Jensen asked his friend. Jared nodded and left the building. You sat on the bed covered up as Jensen approached you. “Hey Y/N. Can we talk” he asked. You nodded and he sat on the bed. “Look you were doing an incredible job with that scene. I’m so sorry for being an ass.” “If I did so well why did you keep interrupting the scene” you asked. “Honestly, I got jealous. I wanted you to call my name out and me being the one having you. I’m so sorry.” He said as he put his head down.

You took his hand and said “I don’t understand. You’re with Katie and you made it clear you didn’t want me. Why would you be jealous.” “I’m not with her. I don’t want her. I want you. I’ve always wanted you. I was scared. I’m sorry.” Jensen said kissing your hand.

You took your hand and lifted his chin staring into his green eyes. You leaned in and kissed him. At first it felt like he was hesitant but then he deepened the kiss. Pulling your body flush with his. His hands dancing up and down your bare skin. Goosebumps erupted all over and you moaned into his mouth. You both pulled away gasping for air and as soon as you both caught it you were kissing again.

Jensen pulled away and looked at your still naked body and bit his lip. “Can we take this to my trailer” he asked. “Yes. Please Jensen I want you”. He helped you up and you put on your robe. He took your hand and the two of you walked to his trailer. As soon as the door was closed and locked his hands were on your body again.

He led you to the bedroom and laid you on the bed. He helped you out of the robe and body covers from the scene. Jensen stood back admiring your body. “Fuck you’re sexy baby”. He said and your face flushed. You bit your lip and told him he was overdressed. He smirked and said “yes ma’am” and he removed his clothes. When his rock hard cock sprang free from his boxers you gasped at the size. You made eye contact with him and he smirked.

He licked his lips “I want to taste you sweetheart”. He parted your legs and crawled in between your thighs kissing all the way up to your dripping folds. He took his fingers and parted your folds. He smirked when he felt how wet you were. “You’re dripping baby”. He stuck two fingers in and hooked them. You gasped and your walls clenched around his thick fingers. He moved them in and out getting you ready to take him. He leaned down and started to lick your engorged clit. You moaned his name as you arched your back. Your fingers found his hair and you pulled him into your dripping pussy. He was licking and sucking like a man starved. You felt yourself close to the edge. “I’m going to cum Jensen. Oh fuck. Right there baby” you screamed. He licked faster and pushed you over the edge. As you came you screamed his name and he kept licking and sucking as your body grew more sensitive. You screamed again as another, more intense orgasm hit. Jensen grinned as he pulled his fingers out of you.

“Damn baby, you taste delicious and you came so hard.” He said smiling. “Oh my god, Jensen. That was amazing.” You said as you laid back. “You sure you want me, Y/N” he questioned. “Yes, please. I want you in me” you begged. Jensen grabbed a condom and pumped himself a few times before rolling the condom on. Once it was on he lined himself up and asked if you were ready. You shook your head yes. He pushed in slowly. You gasped and grabbed his shoulders. Jensen leaned down and kissed you as he pushed further in.

Once he was all the way in he lifted your legs and set a steady pace. Moans and the sounds of pleasure filled the room. Jensen and you were exploring each other’s bodies with every thrust and movement. He felt incredible and he fit perfectly inside you. The perfect combination of pleasure and pain.

He moved at an easy pace and each thrust he hit a spot inside you nobody ever had.

He pulled out and laid down having you straddle him. As he looked up at you he said “damn this is an incredible view”. He cupped your breasts as you lined him up and sat down on him pushing him all the way in. The new position had you seeing stars. He was in so deep and when he lifted his hips he pushed further in. You grinded down on him and arched your back. You threw your head back moaning and gasping in pleasure.

Jensen leaned up and kissed your lips and made his way down to your nipples. Each bounce brought him closer to his release. He bucked his hips into you causing you to gasp loudly. “I’m gonna cum Y/N” Jensen said in a low voice. “Cum for me baby. Fill me up” you said with a seductive tone. He grabbed your hips pulling you down onto him. He grunted and came hard. Filling the condom with his hot seed. You climbed off of him when he finished and he got up to clean himself up.

When Jensen got back in bed he pulled you close to him. He kissed your head and you snuggled into him and giggled. “What’s so funny, Y/N” he asked with a smile. “So this was taking it slow” you laughed. Jensen laughed and said “I guess for us it was”.

You laid in his arms as he pulled you tight. “How much longer do we have on lunch, Mr Director” you giggled. “About an hour. Why what did you have in mind” he asked smiling. “I can think of something to fill that time” you whispered in his ear. He smiled, growled and pulled you to his lips. Giggles and laughter filled the room as you and Jensen kissed and held each other.

Your heart leaped with every touch, and kiss. You could see yourself giving him your heart, you just hoped it would be safe in his hands. Your y/e/c eyes looked into his green as the giggles and laughter quieted. He brushed a stray piece of hair from your face and his hand ran down your face. “So beautiful” he whispered as he placed a soft kiss on your lips. You smiled, blushed and knew in that moment you could definitely fall for Jensen. It was exciting but so terrifying. For now though, you were perfectly content just lying in his arms.

Forever tags: @nescaveckdaily @kr804573 @k-slla @jackles010378 @jawritter @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @roseblue373

#hes gorgeous #so damn sexy #jensen ackles x plus size reader #jensen ackles smut #jensen ackles #jackles #jensen ackles x reader #dean winchester #supernatural #spn

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jacksgreysays · 7 months ago

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Extremely late, completely unnecessary opinion of the Watcher situation, (2024-04-24)

So this is a relatively belated post — several days after the initial “Goodbye Youtube” and one day after the “An Update” videos — and surely by this point there are more interesting/insightful op-eds (both in written form and video form, especially penguinz0’s fairly objective POV as, essentially, a YouTube expert) but there is something about the Watcher situation that made my brain itch. Thus, I wanted to write about it in order to make sense of it all as well as get into a philosophy that seems to be haunting me in recent years and which I think applies greatly here.

This may seem completely out of left field considering 1) definitely not fanfiction and 2) about Watcher Entertainment, a YouTube channel which—as far as this tumblr is concerned—I’ve not engaged with whatsoever, but I don’t know where else I would put this, and weirdly enough I think the general tumblr response to this whole predicament is maybe the… if not objective… then at least, most thoughtful?—or, perhaps, least immediately reactive?—amongst the various social media platforms, that I think some people might appreciate this anyway.

In terms of my relevant background: I majored in Management Science (which is just a fancy way of saying Economics + Business + Accounting because they are, weirdly enough, separate things) and minored in Film Studies in school, I am currently working in the stage tech industry (which, I know, is obviously different from film/video industry), and I like to think I am a fan/consumer of a wide variety of independent creators, some of whom I am lucky enough to be able to afford being a patron/subscriber. I won’t go into all of them—because it is a lot—but there are four in particular whose business models I want to analyze in comparison to Watcher’s admitted blunder:

A) RocketJump (known for Video Game High School and Anime Crimes Division; the core group which turned into the podcast Story Break, then became Dungeons and Daddies) B) Dropout (formerly College Humor, we’ll get into their discography later) C) Drawfee (previously an offshoot of College Humor, now fully independent) D) Corridor Digital (used to be mostly behind the scenes of how VFX studios work, have since become a mostly original content creator)

I will say, right off the bat, I am a patron of Drawfee as well as Dungeons and Daddies, and I am a subscriber to Dropout. I am not subscribed to Corridor Digital’s streamer, which I will get into why later. I understand that being able to sustain those two patronages and one subscription is a luxury that not everyone can afford and so my point of view is already skewed by being such a person who could theoretically afford another streaming service if I so chose. I also acknowledge that many fans of Watcher are not in similarly financially secure places as I am and that regardless of the business model, any monetization that comes from fans would have been a rough ask. However, I wanted to go into this essay in a way that accepts Watcher’s statement—that they needed more funding—in relatively good faith rather than assuming the worst (although that is another point I’ll get into later, largely related to the philosophy I brought up earlier.)

All four of the above listed content creators started or, at least, hit their stride on YouTube:

RocketJump and College Humor were, if not household names, then the digital equivalent of it in the “early days of YouTube.” They were part of the wave of content creators that made YouTube seem less like a bunch of eccentrics with cameras making videos on the side and more like a viable way to support yourself/your team with the art you create.

RocketJump’s Video Game High School went from short (less than 10 minutes) minimal location episodes in season one, to 30 minute plus episodes with full on fight scenes and car explosions by season three thanks to a Monster Energy brand deal. They also had two seasons of Anime Crimes Division, a literal TV quality show, thanks to a Crunchy Roll sponsorship. Unfortunately, RocketJump shut down not long after (their videos are still up on YouTube but they obviously don’t add anything new) but the core creative team behind that have been involved in several projects outside of YouTube (Dimension 404 on Hulu being one of the biggest ones so far) including the podcast Story Break (part of the Maximum Fun network) and now the independent podcast Dungeons and Daddies, the episodes of the main campaigns which are free with ads or, for patrons, ad-less along with additional mini-campaigns and other benefits.

I will say, during RocketJump’s decline, they did try their best to keep going. The partnerships with Monster Energy and Crunchy Roll were the big swings to get the funding to make those TV quality shows they wanted. I believe they lucked out with those brands in particular, or, at least, those brands didn’t seem to inhibit the creative process or ask too much of them that it felt like “selling out” but I also don’t have insight into why they didn’t pursue this model of, essentially, very weird but interesting season long commercials. Maybe they just couldn't find the right brands or maybe they did feel like it was too stifling. Regardless, before they shut down completely, they did also downsize—moving out of the actual city of Los Angeles over to Buena Park. Which is in Los Angeles county, and basically counts as LA still, but is way cheaper than literal Hollywood real estate. (I should have added to my relevant background that I’m born and raised LA county, and have relatives and friends in the film/movie industry, so trust me when I say literal Hollywood/city of Los Angeles is so overrated and unnecessarily expensive. There is a reason why LA traffic is the worst and it’s because everyone is commuting INTO the city. Respectfully and with affection, no one should live there. No one’s start up should be located there.) Obviously the downsizing didn’t necessarily work for RocketJump, but they also didn’t have multiple successful revenue streams the way that Watcher currently does.

In contrast, College Humor was acquired by InterActiveCorp and was turned into CH Media which was three pronged: College Humor, Drawfee, and Dorkly. In 2018 they made Dropout, which had exclusive content separate from their YouTube videos which involved all three prongs. Then some financial shenanigans happened early 2020—IAC withdrew their funding—and there were a bunch of layoffs right before the pandemic which extremely sucked. It has been stated by multiple people involved that it was basically a miracle that Dropout survived through all of that, but there were definitely some sacrifices along the way to make that happen. Currently, Dropout seems to be thriving with mostly exclusive content with the occasional “first episode of a season” posted to YouTube, OR if Dimension 20 is doing a “sequel season” in an already established campaign they will put the entirety of the previous season on YouTube.

IAC withdrawing their funding did put CH Media in a bind. They had to layoff a lot of people right before pandemic and, understandably, a lot of trauma was had. There were also weird issues with who controlled certain IPs/brands/digital assets (I mostly come at this from a Drawfee POV, it took several years for them to own the Drawga series and be allowed to host all of the episodes on their YouTube, and there was also something about the sound file for their opening animation?) but mainly the difference is what kind of content they generate. Originally Dropout had multiple scripted shows with high budgets and pretty cool effects/animations/stunts (Troopers, Kingpin Katie, Gods of Food, Ultramechatron Team Go!, Cartoon Hell, and WTF 101) whereas now almost all of their shows are variations of improv comedians being put into different scenarios or given different prompts. I’m not just talking about Game Changer and Make Some Noise, because Dimension 20 and Um, Actually also technically fall under that description as well. Which is not to say that these shows are worse than the scripted shows—I subscribe to Dropout, so clearly I’m a fan of their current shows—and the budgets for them have since increased to resemble, if not match, those early shows, but it is a noticeable shift in their content creation strategy as a response to the lack of IAC funding. And I will say: Dropout releases at least three videos a week if not more and at least two of those are long form at 30 minutes plus (Dimension 20 being the longest, of course.)

So, these first two business models are not really the most applicable to Watcher Entertainment considering their origin was to get away from Buzzfeed—they’re probably not keen to be partnered with or purchased by a larger company—but there are some aspects to both that I believe are valuable in at least showing the strategy in how these former YouTube creators could successfully extract themselves from YouTube or how they still utilize YouTube even if it is not their main hosting platform or revenue stream.

Then there is Drawfee and Corridor Digital, both of whom are currently—if not primarily—on YouTube, whose situations are more comparable to what I believe are Watcher’s goals.

Drawfee had to rebuild themselves like a phoenix from the ashes of the CH Media layoff during the beginning/worst of the pandemic. Side note: I’m happy that Nathan (one of the four main artists of the current Drawfee team) at least has forgiven(? or let bygones be bygones) Dropout enough to be on an episode of Game Changer (although I will say that this happened after Drawga was “returned” to Drawfee, and after Dropout officially split from College Humor as a brand.) All that being said, Drawfee was a team of four artists plus their editor who wanted to stick together but basically had all of their support system taken away from them. They took a bit of a break to assess their goals and options, announced a patreon with several tiers with great perks, and stuck to their upload schedule. In addition to two videos a week, they also stream on Twitch weekly, have a patron only stream once a month, and a draw class (for one of the higher tiers) once month. After asking their patrons on the relevant tiers if they were okay with it, they began releasing the patron only stream and the draw class to the general public for free after a month. The patreon perks also include things like merch discount codes, high quality PNGs of the final rendered art, access to the draw class with live interaction/critique, and a commission from the artist of your choice. The only “ads” they run are for their own patreon and merch store and, even then, they’re usually at the end of the videos with a credit scroll of the patron names during their exit banter.

Admittedly, they only have MAYBE eight employees—that’s including their video editor(s?) and their discord mod(s?)—with the main four artists doubling/tripling up duties as additional video editors, CFO, and marketing/merch leads. It’s a very streamlined crew and their production costs are not very high since it’s mostly screen recording of their drawings with their audio recording overlayed onto that footage. Although the video editors do sometimes have clever cuts to relevant images depending on their vamping. Sometimes they will have a guest artist but, again, since it’s screen and audio recordings, there’s no travel/housing costs. So, very minimal expenses due to low production costs and small crew but, again, their only revenue source is the patreon/merch, they don’t do outside ads and they very rarely do live shows.

Corridor Digital is, I think, the most applicable to what Watcher would ideally do, which I suppose is somewhat ironic for this essay in particular considering they’re the only one of the four that I don’t financially support. They have two YouTube channels: their main one being where they show the “final product” videos, but I believe their Corridor Crew channel which started primarily as behind the scenes type of videos is where most of their views come from. Especially their React series (VFX artists, Stuntmen, and Animators React etc.) On Corridor Crew they usually upload two videos a week — one which is a React and the other which goes into fun projects/challenges (involving VFX or not) or using VFX to explain scientific concepts — as well as the first episodes of their exclusive content on their streamer. Also behind that paywall are longer and ad-less versions of the videos on YouTube. They also have merch. All of them have merch, I don’t know why I’m stating that. They don’t have a patreon as far as I know, but I also don’t know if their subscription to their website comes with similar perks like discounted merch or something similar.

Anyway, their studio seems to be about 15 to 20 people — not all of them are VFX artists, of course. I believe they have higher equipment costs than Watcher since, understandably, Corridor has to be on the cutting edge of video editing technology. They do occasionally travel for shoots, but it doesn’t require big teams, and that’s only when the local locations available to them don’t match the requirements for the “final product” videos. Otherwise most of their videos are set in the studio or in the alleyway outside their studio in Los Angeles (the city itself, not just the greater county, though they are in a rougher and thus probably cheaper part of Los Angeles). I personally don’t subscribe to their website primarily because their exclusive shows don’t appeal to me—either they’re too technical or a little too dry; to be fair, most of them are VFX artists first before they are performers—and I don’t particularly feel the need to see the extended cuts of the videos uploaded on YouTube. Also I sometimes get a little bummed out by their lack of diversity.

All of this to say, from these four different business models, a bespoke Frankenstein business model for Watcher could be cobbled together. But also, even with that bespoke Frankenstein, there are some changes that Watcher would have to make: primarily their upload schedule. As of right now, I think they do MAYBE one video a week if not, perhaps, one video every TWO weeks. If they want a monthly subscription model, their rate of content generation would ideally be higher to double/quadruple their current upload rate. Obviously they want to create videos with higher production value, but at that rate of generation, something’s got to give: supplement their TV quality shows with either a behind the scenes type series or an increase of “we get four episodes out of Shane and Ryan get increasingly drunk in someone’s backyard” or something similar. Leaning into shows like Worth A Shot (the first season in which Ricky Wang makes cocktails based on a random ingredient, the second season threw in some competitive aspects which I didn’t really find necessary) or the Beatdown which has relatively low production costs (no travel, one location, maybe two cameras at most therefore smaller crew requirements) but a higher polished look. Otherwise, for a separate streaming subscription service, 2-4 videos a month is not going to cut it.

As of right now they probably can’t back out of the separate streaming subscription service because those set ups usually require some level of contract/paying for servers for the website and whatever is hosting their videos for a set amount of time. However, what really strikes me is that I literally didn’t know they had a patreon until I scrolled through the comments of the first Goodbye Youtube video. Maybe it’s been linked "tactfully" in the descriptions of videos, but considering they claim to be lacking in funds, the fact that they weren’t plugging their patreon at the end of every video is not just strange, but also irresponsible considering they do have 25 employees that they don’t want to layoff.

Additionally, I understand artists needing to be in a space that promotes creativity, but there are cheaper places that must be comparable that aren’t in literal Hollywood. It’s an unnecessary expense. On top of that, other people have already brought up that it was fairly crass to introduce this paywall, attributing it to the increased production costs, when the next planned “new series” is a reboot of an old Buzzfeed series in which people travel and eat expensive food. I’m not even talking about the personal expenses of Steven, Shane, and Ryan; what kind of car they drive or the cost of their wedding venue doesn’t matter on a business model basis.

But getting back to the patreon: again, I literally didn’t know they had one. I’m looking over their tiers— they have $5, $10, $25, and $100 — and for the most part they seem okay, although I think they have more to offer that wouldn’t necessarily cost them more. Ie, something that has baffled me for a while: the fact they don’t sell the mp3s of the Puppet History songs; they already exist and it doesn’t cost them anything additional because they don’t need to put it on physical media. Or maybe they do and they’re not marketing it similarly to how they weren’t overtly marketing their patreon?

And, okay, maybe they didn’t want to seem desperate — in the early days of Dropout and independent Drawfee, they both were very blatant in getting people to subscribe/join their patreon. As they should be. Desperation maybe doesn’t look cool and sexy, but it is earnest in a way that conveys equal effort that fans who can afford it would want to see. The fact that we weren’t getting rotating ten second clips of Steven, Shane, and Ryan asking people to join the patreon at the end of every video — even if its the same clip every three videos — is wild. And yes, the $25 tier includes a shoutout every 3 months on Watcher Weekly+ (which I don't quite understand what that is,) but the fact that they weren’t doing a quick post movie credits scroll of all the patreon names is, again, wild. Once you have that initial list, it’s not too difficult to add any new names that join and put that title overlay on top of, again, those nonexistent ten second clips of the three.

As others have already stated, it seems like an extreme mismanagement of their existing successful revenue streams, if they are actually struggling to pay all of their employees. Which goes into the philosophy part of this essay: don’t assume malice when it might just be incompetence. It’s something that I have to remind myself of often because I do get paranoid about people’s intentions sometimes and I have to check myself. Am I being overly suspicious of what might be just an honest mistake? Am I assigning ill will to an action just because it inconvenienced me?

Yes, of course, a lot of this situation could be misconstrued as straight up greed. But, also, Watcher is a relatively young company, helmed by three people who certainly don’t have experience running their own company:

They like to travel. They like to bring a full crew around with them. They’re renting out a shiny office in the heart of Hollywood where everyone knows is where real show biz happens. They’re adding more employees to the team because surely more people means better. And they want better productions values because the prettier the videos the more people will like them right?

It’s naive. It’s a level of inexperience combined with giving responsibility to officers whose main priority is to entertain. And if that means entertaining themselves and their staff, then they might not know the difference. It’s the kind of mistake that first time managers make—trying to prioritize fun over getting the job done. Prioritizing making friends with their employees rather than making sure the work the employees put in is equal to (or greater than) what you spend on them whether that is in paycheck or bringing them to cool locations for fun shoots. It’s a mistake anyone can make, it's just unfortunate that they made this mistake in front of millions of people. It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s solely a greed induced cash grab.

But then comes the catch-22 of the philosophy—is it worse to assume incompetence than it is to assume malice? Or, in this case, greed. Especially for the heads of a company that holds the livelihoods of 25 employees in their hands. At what point does it not matter if it’s incompetence or greed if the end result is the same?

Is it better to think that Watcher knew about the various other business models of independent creators and just ignored the efforts put into achieving those successes or is it better to think that they didn’t know and just stumbled into one of the worst moves they could have done. Again, other people have mentioned that Great Mythical Morning—which Watcher has had multiple collaborations with—has managed to make the YouTube subscription/tier system work to the point that they can sustain themselves as well as spinoff channels. Is it incompetence or greed that led to Watcher thinking they could bypass that completely in less time and with less content?

I’ve been at this mess of an essay for several hours when I should have been asleep. Ultimately I want to say, regardless of incompetence or greed… yes, Steven is CEO and yes he is ultimately the one who makes the final call but it is disheartening to see the pointed vitriol at Steven specifically and the infantilizing of Shane and Ryan in comparison. Either they’re all silly uwu boys who are messing around not knowing how to run a company, or they’re all complicit in a crass cash grab in an extremely busted economy.

I think what’s most frustrating to me in all this is that there were so many other channels and creators who have literally walked this path before them and, again, whether through incompetence or greed or arrogance, for them to just ignore it… It’s not betrayal because I don’t know them and so there’s no relationship to betray, it’s just so inefficient and convoluted that I don’t understand. Or, no, even if it was greed, it’s an incompetent greed because at least pure greed would have been pushing that patreon every second they could. Their ratio of YouTube subscribers to patreon members is less than 1% and I bet that’s because a lot of their audience, like me, literally didn’t know they had a patreon. I probably would have become a patreon member of theirs had I known earlier, ESPECIALLY if it included access to those Puppet History songs. Drawfee has half as many YouTube subscribers and nearly double the patreon members as Watcher. I’m just baffled, is all, and maybe by this point sleep deprived.

Anyway. That’s my extremely late, completely unnecessary opinion of this situation.

Edit (several hours later after some sleep): I forgot to mention, because they did walk this back almost immediately, even before their "An Update" video, but I believe the original plan was to put EVERYTHING behind that paywall and pull their content from YouTube entirely. Which is, again, extremely baffling, because if ALL of their content is behind a paywall, how would they possibly gain new fans? Even if all of their current fans were able and willing to pay for their separate subscription streaming service, how would a brand new person even stumble on their content enough to want to subscribe if there wasn't a significant amount of "proof of value" free content on YouTube? Again, extremely baffling, and a level of incompetence that overshadows a "cunning" greed. But, like I said earlier, they did walk this decision back almost immediately. If I've misunderstood this and that was never their plan, please let me know, I don't want to be spreading misinformation in a situation that is already so convoluted.

#jacksgreyson #writing #nonfiction #essay #watcher #op-ed #youtube #drawfee #corridor digital #dropout #rocketjump #dungeons and daddies

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therulerofallpotatos · 4 months ago

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Hannigram Fic Rec List

In no particular order, some hannigram fics I recommend

This is in response to @cassyglenn 's post from a few hours ago I just saw.

So Delicate the Bones by unrealshrike

Summary:

After her father's unsolved disappearance, sixteen-year-old Adeline finds herself at the mercy of a new school, serial killers, FBI agents, and an unorthodox psychiatrist. Meanwhile, Hannibal wants to provide Will with a child after the fatal incident at the Hobbs’ home, and who better than his opportune new patient?

Chp 26/26 Word Count: 177,096 Words

So Delicate the Bones is one of those special fics in this fandom that introduces an original character into the main cast that is both genuinely interesting on their own and fits in with the established ensemble seamlessly. The story is riveting and I was sucked into it almost immediately. I highly recommend this. My bookmark notes (which I design specifically for me) were: An absolute epic of a novel. Adeline/Addie/Del

The Voices and the Shadows by darlinghogwarts, MaddyHughes, and slashyrogue

Summary:

“The Chesapeake Ripper? The serial killer? That's a grisly thing to find at the bottom of a drink. Most people say oblivion ...or possibly sex.” Hannibal sips his wine again. “Why are you thinking about a murderer on your birthday, Will? Is it part of your degree?” “He is a part of my degree by my own choice. My supervisor didn’t approve, but…” He sighs. “I insisted.” AU where Will—a Masters student studying the Chesapeake Ripper—gets drunk on his birthday and meets an intriguing man at the bar.

Chp 36/36 Word Count: 114,625

My personal bookmark note that I wrote in 2017 when I made this bookmark: The sweetest slowest most infuriating and beautiful burn you will ever experience.

In all honesty I read this in high school when I first started reading Hannibal fanfiction. I might've even read this before watching the show. That said, I don't make a note like that lightly. I only ever write notes like these when I want to remind a me years in the future why I bookmarked something in the first place. Some of the best novels I've read were a handful of fics that I'd make that note for. I know that this enthralled me, sucked me in. I was invested. I was glued to it for days. If this were another fandom, I might expect for it to hit softer if I were to reread it now, but Hannigram in particular has a habit of hitting just as hard at 25 years old as it did at 17 years old.

Light Up the Torches by HigherMagic

Summary:

"We need to find out who this rogue agent is," Sutcliffe says. "Right now, I think it would be fair to assume they're one of ours or our allies', since only our enemies are being killed." Hannibal nods. "Hold briefings with all your captains," he tells them. "I want no stone unturned. Tell them that whoever is doing this will not come to harm; I would very much like to meet them."

Chp 1/1 Word Count: 7,197

My bookmark note was: Oh fuck yes

It must have been delightful. I know myself well enough to know this is just a good time to be had.

The Living Doll by Anna_Jay

Summary:

Will is aware of what he's getting himself into when he buys the dreaded Doll House. Because of the cursed doll, no one has been able to stay longer than a month. He doesn't mind. Perhaps death would be kind after everything he's been through. Over the next few days Will finds himself attached to the strange doll he's named Hannibal. After all, it is just a doll. Right?

Part 2/3 Chp 9/9 Word Count: 35,675

The Living Doll is a 3 part series in which part 2 is the bulk of the story. The link above is for the series so you can easily start at the beginning. This is hands down one of my favorite fics. Ever. Like across all fandoms. actually no. it's one of my favorite novellas I've ever read period. I actually wrote my own haunted ball joint doll fic for a completely different fandom because of this fic's inspiration (it is nowhere near as good but I can share it if you're interested I suppose. It's still a very different story). It's creepy. It's romantic. It's intense and classic. It could easily get picked up by Blumhouse Productions and make a very good movie out of it. If you read anything on this list, read this.

Darling, Don't Be So Shy by murdergatsby

Summary: Will is a paranormal investigator with a special gift. Hannibal is a demon swelling with boredom. Their meeting was supposed to lead to a simple exorcism, but Will has a nasty habit of getting attached.

Chp 13/13 Word Count: 34,571

This was also one of my first Hannigram fics I read back in high school. I adored this fic. I'm a big fan of haunting each other/possession/melding each other into one type dynamics and their distinct dynamic in this story drew me in like a moth to a flame. i read it more than once and saved it here for safekeeping. I will likely reread it after finishing this list.

How to Save a Life (The Cannibal-Friendly Handbook) by KittenDiamore

Summary:

There’s a man looking up at Will, who has clearly been distracted from - Oh. Throwing limbs into the river. Human limbs. Lovely, he thinks sarcastically. Then he thinks it again because it actually is kind of lovely. The man looks confident. At ease with what he is. He’s kinda hot, too. Or: Will tries to jump off a bridge but ends up offering himself up to a cannibalistic serial killer...as you do.

Chp 1/1 Word Count: 3,463

For a shorter rec, this is a delightful little one-shot with a different first meeting (I love different first meeting fics). Delightful premise. Delightful follow through. Had this in my bookmarks for years as well.

There is also one more fic I was expecting to find in my bookmarks and now am going to ask anyone to help me find because it isn't there. There was a series that I read early on (probably 2017) that was about Hannibal who had a 10yo son at the time of the show. The story evolved into a series that was about that son and it deserved to be. It was one of those special projects where an original character naturally stole the show and we were reading to see where his story would take him more than anything else. These were novels and they were epic and I would love to get my hands on it again. This child was cunning and devoted to his father and his own personal ambitions. Any help finding this fic and any fics similar to it would be extremely welcome.

Oh! and a link to my bookmarks as well because there are more fics there. I just listed the ones that stood out the most/that I remembered enough to write my own spiel about them. I have not actually read every single fic I've marked, but even those are interesting enough that I saved them for later.

#hannigram #hannibal fic rec #fic recs #hannibal

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imagitory · 7 months ago

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Hey all! So recently Wish was added to Disney+, and I thought it might be a good opportunity for me to watch it again for the first time since I saw it in theaters. I asked you all what I should write about after watching it, and in the end, the top answers were an analysis of the criticism surrounding Wish and something focusing more on the positive aspects of the movie, rather than just the usual mindless bashing.

So that's what I intend to write! A look back at some of the common criticisms I've heard about the film, and how much weight they actually have.

Now, before we begin, I should put in a disclaimer -- I don't particularly like Wish as a film. I think it had ridiculous amounts of potential that were likely hampered by corporate decisions, but I personally find it to be one of Disney's weaker animated films. That being said, as promised, I will make any critiques I do include as balanced as I can, and I will try to include praise where I can too.

So let's start!

"Asha is a badly written character because she has no character arc."

This is a critique I actually found on a list also discussing valid criticism of Wish, and I knew I had to include it, because even BEFORE I rewatched the movie, I thought it was a bit unfair. Because here's the thing: there are plenty of good films, Disney or otherwise, where the main character doesn't have/need a character arc. All of Walt's original three princesses, Snow White, Cinderella, and Aurora, don't have character arcs. Ariel doesn't have an arc either -- instead her father Triton is the one who goes through a change of heart. Neither does Pongo, or Basil of Baker Street, or Robin Hood. Indiana Jones doesn't go through any real character development in Raiders of the Lost Ark, yet he was interesting enough to inspire a whole movie series! with mixed results. The important part is that even if a main character doesn't develop personality-wise, we should still be able to root for them and want them to achieve their goal. We don't want Cinderella to be abused by her stepfamily -- we want her to find someone who loves her and will take care of her the way she takes care of others. Although it can be more interesting to give your characters an arc while they pursue their goals, it isn't necessary to tell a good story or write a compelling character. Sometimes a story can be more focused on how their life circumstances or environment changes around them.

Another criticism this leads into is the idea that Asha is just another "quirky female lead" a la Rapunzel, except without any background that justifies it. And well...plenty of people griped that Anna was too much like Rapunzel, when Frozen came out. I saw people compare Moana to both Rapunzel and Mulan, when her film came out. Mirabel was also compared to past Disney heroines like Anna and Rapunzel. Even before Wish came out, people tried to argue that Asha looked just like Isabela Madrigal, which was just ridiculous. There's plenty of bad-faith criticism out there that'll shallowly associate one character or story element with one trope exclusively without looking at any nuance or detail. And I think most people would agree that truthfully, none of these female characters are the least bit "the same," no matter how much someone might try to all boil them down to "the quirky Disney female lead." And, like the others, Asha has traits that set her apart. The big one for me is her bent toward social justice, which is something we haven't really seen in a Disney leading lady since Esmeralda in The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Even so, I admit that Asha's quirkiness isn't as justified by her backstory as the trait is by Rapunzel's isolation or Mirabel's "outcast" status in her family, and that does make it so that her characterization has less depth than those of some of her counterparts'. Does that make Asha a bad character? Of course not. If you like Asha as written, that's totally fine. Underdeveloped doesn't have to mean unlikable.

"There are too many characters in this movie!"

Even I've been a bit guilty of thinking this. I still feel as though the film would've saved a lot of space if some aspects of Asha's friend group had been redistributed to other characters. Like okay, you want to reference the Seven Dwarfs in Asha's inner circle, but give them all distinctive personalities? Have her mother fill the Bashful role, and cut Bazeema. Have her grandpa be Happy, and cut Hal. Have Valentino be your Grumpy role, and cut Gabo. Have Star play your Dopey, and cut Dario. Suddenly you only have three characters -- Simon, Safi, and Dahlia -- to introduce in that kitchen scene instead of seven, and you've also now given Asha's mum, grandpa, and sidekicks more personality as well!

That being said, the amount of characters truly isn't the problem. The real problem is time. Because let's be honest, we can ALL think of media with a large cast of characters we've become strongly emotionally invested in. The Lord of the Rings -- The Avengers -- Hazbin Hotel...but the difference is how much time the audience is given to get to know all of these characters. Even Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, which has a cast of eleven, ends up leaving the Prince and the Huntsman rather underdeveloped compared to the Dwarfs. We don't ever learn the Evil Queen's whole deal or even her name, and she gets a lot of focus! With Wish only being ten minutes longer than Snow White with a cast of fourteen, it's little wonder the filmmakers struggled to have all fourteen of them leave a strong, unique impact. Even when I first watched the film, I didn't feel anything negative toward Asha's friend group -- if anything, I was happy to see a Disney animated female lead with a friend group of her peers, since the closest we'd gotten to that previously was Hiro in Big Hero 6 and Mei in Pixar's Turning Red. All of Asha's friends had the potential to be very interesting people, and that's why it's sad that we didn't get to see more of them and have the chance to become invested in them as individuals.

"Magnifico was actually right the whole time! Asha is the REAL villain of the story."

I see this one a lot, both from people who disliked the movie and fans who stan Magnifico, and as much as I won't give anyone a hard time for liking Magnifico, I think this view isn't really fair to either character or to the story the filmmakers pretty clearly wanted to tell. And sadly, as much as I want to be positive, I think this interpretation comes about partly because of inconsistent writing on the filmmakers' parts.

In Welcome to Rosas, there is this utopic vision presented of the island -- one that only reinforces the story told to us at the beginning by Asha, of how this man who loves wishes learned powerful magic so he could found this idyllic island kingdom with his wife where he could make wishes come true. Unfortunately, for some viewers, I think that propaganda works a little too well -- making us see Rosas as a place that truly is that happy and content and peaceful. And yeah, that does make it so that when Asha sings about how she wants "more than this," that could make her come across as rather selfish and entitled. But I think there are a few things that are good to remember --

Welcome to Rosas is framed as an advertisement of sorts -- like one of those commercials you see promoting Disneyland and how magical it is, without ever bringing up how much money it costs or how many lines you'll have to stand in. Asha's guiding some new people around with the goal of convincing them to stay and give their wishes to Magnifico, so of course it's going to sanitize the kingdom and make it seem like a place you'd want to stay in. There's blatant hyperbole thrown in there for dramatic effect, like the idea that you could go to outer space. Asha even sings that you're "unlikely to be unhappy": not that you'll be happy living on this island, just not unhappy. And yes, there is a difference between contentment and true, fulfilling happiness.

Simon's friends flat-out call him boring, after he turned eighteen and gave up his wish. This foreshadows what we learn about the wishes later, which is that they're a core part of a person that they're left a shadow of themselves without. At the wish ceremony later on, we can see this in the animation of the two "new citizens" giving their wishes to Magnifico. When they think of their wishes, they're full to the brim with joy, but when they've given them up, they're left looking confused and almost bereft, and even as everyone else cheers, they look unconvinced by the crowd's cult-like "forget without regret" chant. According to Wish's own canon, you're cutting out the "heart" of who you are, when you give up your wish.

Considering Amaya says that Asha will need to keep the tea hot, listen whenever and for however long Magnifico wants to talk, and never question anything, Magnifico didn't want an apprentice -- that would insinuate he'd actually be teaching them magic. If anything, it sounds more like he wanted a personal servant to cater to his whims. And when that person interviewing before Asha disappoints him, he's left running down the hall crying hysterically. This develops Magnifico as the film's future antagonist. Already long before he uses the evil magic book, we see that he wants a subordinate to do whatever he wants without question or complaint, seemingly for nothing in return except his own approval and, I would presume, some sort of paycheck. (I mean, I'm not saying Asha was right to expect favors from Magnifico so soon, or that that kind of quid-pro-quo stuff isn't corrupt as heck, but considering she and Magnifico did seem to connect over how important the wishes were, and considering Sabino's 100 years old, can you blame Asha for opening up about her hope that Magnifico would consider granting her grandfather's wish? She never framed it as a quid-pro-quo, and this probably would be the best chance she'd have to appeal to the King directly.)

Asha is seventeen! Of course her world view is going to be smaller and more idealistic than Magnifico's, and of course her family is going to be the center of her world. At the same time, even if Asha is young, it doesn't mean her perspective isn't worthy of compassion and respect. Sometimes the young do have a more meaningful view of a situation than their elders -- just look at David Hogg, or Malala Yousafzai, or Greta Thunberg...hell, even Anne Frank! However upset Magnifico was about Asha disagreeing with and contradicting him, it does not justify how pettily he decided to shut her down. He was an adult, and a ruler besides: it behooved him to act like one.

The filmmakers clearly envisioned Magnifico as the villain. Even if you want to ignore the promos where they compared Magnifico to the likes of classic Disney villains, Magnifico is portrayed as an arrogant, vain, vindictive control freak. He thinks only he knows what's best for everyone else, has decreed that only he has the authority to cast magic or grant wishes, and knows how beautiful people's wishes are, but prefers to hoard them away like trinkets, long before realizing that crushing them gives him power. (Not to mention he looked at Asha's hand-drawn animation and actually said, "Do we call that a talent?" I mean -- excuse you!) I've even heard some people theorize that Magnifico was based off Disney's "collect-'em-all" CEO himself, Bob Iger, and not in a flattering way. His main argument scene with Asha has been compared to how creatives have felt about their corporate bosses abruptly shutting down and locking away their incomplete films rather than let them be finished or released. Admittedly Wish also goes out of its way to try to make Magnifico sympathetic by giving him the slightest of tragic backstories, having him actually trust Asha enough to show her the wishes after only just meeting her, and (later on) not giving into the temptation of the random evil magic book because Amaya asks him not to, and that definitely muddies the waters. I still have to stand by the fact, though, that one's motivation doesn't excuse their bad behavior, however much one can explain the other. Magnifico having a sad backstory or trauma doesn't mean he's justified in treating people poorly, collecting wishes for his own enjoyment instead of truly loving them and the people they're attached to by sharing them with others, or not wanting people to ever question him or his authority. Magnifico's "nicer" moments don't mitigate these things either. Nor does his role as king. Even if yes, the story could've done well to add more nuance to the idea of wishes and make clear that not all of them are good -- and yes, the story could've either made Magnifico's villainy a bit more straightforward or followed through with the idea of Magnifico being a misguided anti-villain...in this film, we only see good wishes represented in Rosas. Magnifico even calls the wishes "the very best part [of a person]" -- and so one can only presume that all of the wishes Magnifico's collected are that way. Asha even suggests (before Magnifico interrupts her) that if a wish is dangerous, they could probably address that, while still giving back the wishes Magnifico won't grant. And the wish that Magnifico explicitly calls too "dangerous" to grant is Sabino wanting to inspire future generations, presumably through music. Paranoia on Magnifico's part? Perhaps, but also unjustified, in the context of the film. When Star comes down, every last person in Rosas -- including Magnifico's wife and queen, Amaya, who presumably must know something of his trauma and understand wanting to protect their people -- feels nothing but warmth, hope, and joy: all except for Magnifico, who immediately reacts in fear just seeing the wishes moving outside of his control. This insinuates that Magnifico's perception is the odd one out -- he's the only one who's afraid and not inspired, because that alternative magic threatens his absolute rule and control. Just like he's threatened by his people asking too many questions about the wishes he's taken. Just like he's threatened by the idea that Sabino could inspire the next generation in a way he doesn't approve of. And in the end, if that random evil book did corrupt Magnifico, it only magnified what was already there inside of him -- a greedy, obsessive need to hoard things away all for himself and to control others.

Again, for those people who see Magnifico more sympathetically than the filmmakers intended, I can understand why. Wish has two very conflicting ideas of who Magnifico is supposed to be, likely because it was compiled from dramatically different script drafts. But I feel demonizing Asha or ignoring the film's overall message about the value of people being free to chase their dreams to try to prop Magnifico up is misguided.

"Wish is bad because it's 'woke.'"

I almost wonder if I even need to say anything. This sentiment is so disingenuous, it seems like I should really be able to let it speak for itself. Ironically enough, though, I would actually argue that one of Wish's biggest shortcomings is that it isn't as revolutionary as it clearly wants to be.

For one, the culture of Rosas -- inspired largely by Spain and the Mediterranean -- is really never explored. We get no real influence of either of those cultures on the soundtrack aside from a few mandolins and a flourish of castanets now and again, unlike how Encanto embraces Colombia or how The Princess and the Frog celebrates New Orleans with their music. There's a lot of diversity in Wish's cast with a biracial lead and her colorful friend group (including Dahlia, who has a crutch!), but that would be a lot more meaningful if that diverse cast of characters had had fully fleshed-out personalities and relationships that made us emotionally invested in them, such as how Turning Red handled Mei and her friend group. We have aspects of social justice in Wish's storyline, sure -- but as much as you can draw parallels to Wish's story and the writers' strike that had been going on earlier that year and I think those parallels are striking, a film that clearly dealt with so much corporate oversight and meddling almost couldn't commit to making their villain a True Evil sort, and in the end, Rosas doesn't even do away with the absolute monarchy at the end of their supposed "revolution": it just shifts leadership from its King to its Queen. (And yes, I acknowledge saying "no more royalty" is a message that Disney, of all companies, would be hesitant to put out there, but you can't deny, it would've been both ballsy and different.)

Does this mean Bob Iger was right, that Wish is proof its creative types are focusing too much on message and not on entertainment? No. I'd say the bigger problems with the film were more likely caused by corporate interference -- you know, like hiring some popular pop composers to write songs that can be repackaged into other projects easily rather than primarily tell the story and develop the characters. Or deciding that our main female lead has to be able to do everything on her own without "too much help" from her main co-star (LOL, pun) because "feminism." Or defanging the villain with similarities to the company's CEO so he won't scare the kiddos. Or even animating the film at the exact same time as you're writing it like you previously did with Frozen II, to save time and take advantage of the 100th anniversary timing.

Even so, I sadly can't help but feel that Wish is "woke" largely in a performative sense. It features people who look different from each other and it talks about revolution and positive change, but it really doesn't go far enough to depict diversity in a way that people can get really excited about it or inspire deep thought and even maybe positive change in its audience. That's not focusing too much on message and not on entertainment -- if anything, it's more indicative of not giving the relevant and timely themes and the diverse culture enough focus.

"The meta Disney references are awful."

This one I think really is much more subject to personal taste. I've heard quite a few fans say how fun it is to find all the Easter eggs for other Disney projects or even to theorize how Wish could be connected to those movies in some kind of Disney Cinematic Universe. Personally I'm not in this camp, but that doesn't mean that I hate all the references included. The film opening with the exact same kind of text from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs actually made me smile. The Sleeping Beauty-esque drawing style in the storybook was pretty. Even the Seven Friends as an idea I thought was cute, when I first saw the concept art for them.

By and large, the references I tend to see more favorably are the ones only hard-core Disney/animation fans would pick up on. This might make me sound snooty, but I still personally enjoy references like Star's design being based on one of the star cherubs from a discarded Snow White sequence far more than I do the more blatant ones like Magnifico crushing a dream about a "perfect nanny" or the boy dressed like Rosasbound!Peter Pan. I guess for me, the first kind of references feel more like homages, rather than things that are deliberately supposed to make you think of other Disney movies you could be watching instead of this one. For other people, though, thinking of different Disney films while watching Wish is fun, and it reminds them of how much they enjoy those other movies too. It's good, clean, nostalgic entertainment. And well, Disney has put plenty of Easter eggs in its work before, though usually a bit more sparingly.

So yeah, I think ragging on the flood of Disney Easter Eggs in Wish is a bit unfair. As much as most of them aren't for me and I would've been happier with a lot less of them, I know there are other people who find joy in them, and I'm happy they do. The animators working on this film undoubtedly had a lot of fun including those references too, and I don't blame them! It's fun to create art celebrating what you love with like-minded people.

"Wish's songs are all terribly written."

Now up to a certain point, I could just say exactly what I said against the last criticism -- that this really comes down to personal opinion. Unlike meta Easter eggs, however, music is an art form, and there is real craftsmanship to it -- hell, people study music theory for a reason. And as several Youtubers have discussed before, there are real structural problems to how a lot of these songs are written. In some cases, it's an issue of cadence, where the way the words are sung don't sound like how they'd be naturally spoken aloud. In Knowing What I Know Now, for instance, sometimes the singers use the wrong emphasis on certain words, just based on where they land in the song, such as when Asha sings about Magnifico showing his "TRUE col-ORS in SHADES of GREEN," even if people don't naturally emphasize the second syllable in the word "colors." In other cases, it's over-stuffing a line with words so that the melody line isn't as memorable, such as in This Wish where the amount of syllables per line are all over the place and sentences get cut in weird places --

Isn't truth supposed to set you free? (9) Well, why do I feel so weighed down by it? (10) If I could show them everything I've seen, (10) Open their eyes to all the lies, then (9) Would they change their minds like I did? (8) But when I speak, they tell me, "Sit down!" (9) But how can I when I've already started runnin'? (8) Oh, this is where we've been, (6) But it's not where we belong, (7) And I may be young, but I know I'm not wrong... (11)

There are also cases where the songs barely use any actual rhymes in favor of half-rhymes or worse twist themselves into pretzels just to make an actual rhyme, such as in I'm a Star, with lines such as "When it comes to the universe we're all shareholders // Get that through your system! (Solar!)" and "Ooh, I'm a star! // Watch out, world, here I are!" (Excuse me while I cringe.) And then of course, most infamously, there are the redundant and otherwise weird lyric choices, most commonly cited in Magnifico's And This is The Thanks I Get?!, such as "I got these genes from outer space!" and "I let you live here for free and I don't even charge you rent!"

By and large, people have not responded as well to Wish's soundtrack as they have for many other Disney musicals. It could also be argued that the songs don't tell the film's story as well as they could've. The most egregious example of this is At All Costs, which is supposed to be our villain and hero singing about the beauty of the wishes the first has collected, but was literally written as a love song first, just because Julia Michaels wanted to write a song that could be played at people's weddings even if the movie in question didn't feature any romance. Even This Wish was written well before the script was finished, and this is when we can tell from all the concept art released by Disney that this movie had been dramatically rewritten at multiple stages of development.

And yet even with this, I still see people making animatics for At All Costs featuring their own characters or Asha and the discarded Starboy concept. (And yes, we'll come back to that.) I still see fan-made music videos featuring This Wish. Hell, even I have some of Wish's songs on my IPhone, and I listen to them actively! Knowing What I Know Now, as much as I see what's technically wrong with it, is still a bop for me. However much I had to take a full-on sanity break after listening to I'm a Star a second time, I do enjoy This Wish and At All Costs, just on their own. I don't think This Wish (reprise) is a bad musical or thematic climax, especially if one considers Magnifico's fear that Sabino's wish was to inspire the next generation through music, and it ends up being a song -- sung by his loving granddaughter -- that ultimately defeats our antagonist. I don't think any of Wish's songs really help tell the story as well as other Disney songs do for their films, but I still think there's room for personal taste here. Music -- like all art -- still has an element of subjectivity. It isn't a science -- yes, there is talent and skill involved that can only be mastered with practice and hard work, but there's still a bit of magic that comes with the finished result, and as much as it might not be popular with the masses, that doesn't necessarily make something worthless, or that public consensus can't change. Tchaikovsky famously hated the work he did for The Nutcracker, as did the critics of his day, only for it to go on to become a staple of holiday entertainment and ballet productions overall. Plenty of cult classic films like Labyrinth and Heathers didn't make a lot of money or get lots of praise when they first came out, but soon enough they found their audience.

"The animation is lazy!"

There's actually a much better video discussing this, made by a real professional animator, and I think I'll just let him handle this.

youtube

One thing I want to touch on, though, is Jennifer Lee's commentary about why Wish ultimately wasn't done in 2D animation --

"What happens in hand-drawn is that you have the incredible hand of the artist, but also limitations in what you could do on screen. What happened in CG is you'd have incredible, boundless opportunities, visually, that elevated it — even to the point for some — into realism, which is not what we wanted to do. The more important thing to us was to have a way to find technology that can do everything. Connect to the true vision of the artist, but bring in technology that could finally take away limitations."

-- and yeah, I'm not going to lie, this sentiment leaves a really bad taste in my mouth. The idea that hand-drawn animation somehow limits what art you can create is mind-boggling for anyone working in animation to think, but especially for someone working in Disney animation. I can't help but feel like Uncle Walt would've been ticked if he'd heard anyone suggest this. Anyone who loves animation I think would be annoyed by it, and I'd say people like Hayao Miyazaki continue to prove that Lee's thought process isn't true, considering that his hand-drawn film won the Oscar for Best Animated Feature the same year that Lee's Wish was passed over by the Academy altogether. To be fair, though, this is more a reflection on certain Disney leaders' dismissive attitude toward the medium that built their company as well as the vast majority of the films they're supposedly celebrating, rather than any condemnation of the hard-working animators who worked on Wish. And yes, although no one can argue that Wish ultimately doesn't look as good as its animated peers like Sony's Spiderman: Across the Spiderverse (which was made with half the budget Wish was), that's more the fault of a flawed vision on the part of the filmmakers than anything. It's certainly not indicative of a lack of talent, resources, or caring from the animators themselves.

"Wish would've been so much better if it had featured a love story between Starboy and Asha!"

Okay, let me pop this bubble right now --

None of Disney's official releases have ever indicated Star was going to be Asha's love interest.

The concept art featuring Asha and human!Star? Yeah, that exists, but there's nothing strictly romantic in any of those concepts, like them kissing or even hugging. At All Costs originally supposedly being a love song for Asha and Star? As touched on above, nope, it was even more of a cynical corporate decision than that -- the songwriters just wanted to write a love song that they could repackage and use elsewhere, even if there was no love story to go with it. The thing about Asha and Star supposedly being soulmates? That's derived from a comment in the artbook from Wish co-writer Allison Moore, talking about Asha and Star in their current forms, and so therefore the sentiment was intended platonically --

"Now Star and Asha have an emotional journey. They are soulmates."

And well, just based on a good chunk of the Disney animated films that had come out prior to Wish featuring male and female leads -- Zootopia, Moana, Big Hero 6, Wreck-It-Ralph -- there was really nothing definitive to suggest that our two central characters were going to be romantically linked. And even if Star and Asha were going to be love interests, that still would've been no guarantee of a better movie -- you'd still need compelling, well-developed characters, if you want to likewise have a compelling, well-developed relationship between them. And as I've argued in the past, a movie doesn't need romance to be good. If someone could feel sincere platonic love between Star and Asha as their actual movie selves, then any romance between them wouldn't be needed. I truly believe the only reason that so many people have gotten so hung up on the idea of a Star/Asha romance is because that original platonic "soulmates" idea Allison Moore and others envisioned just didn't ring true for them. They saw more love and interesting chemistry between the original concept art versions of Star and Asha than they did between any of the characters in the finished film...and so they've built upon those flickers of love with their own imagination and then built that mental image up into something that I don't think the filmmakers probably ever intended.

I must be honest, it was kind of a slog, watching Wish for a second time. I stopped multiple times to take notes, unable to just sit back and let the movie wash over me. Even so, I truly appreciate how much time you must've spent to skim through this way-too-long analysis, as well as the votes you all cast in that one poll of mine! I love analyzing Disney, and as much as I don't love Wish, I do think it provided great fodder for new fan creations and has amazing potential as an educational tool about both good storytelling and film-making. And if there are more criticisms of Wish you'd like me to discuss, please feel free to reblog this post with them! Thank you for your support!

To close us out...if you love Wish, then keep on loving it! Don't let anyone -- including me -- tell you otherwise. I don't think a film that was truly the worst thing ever would've attracted as much attention or overanalyzing as Wish has received. And for those of you who are still dissatisfied with Wish, here's a list of films I compiled that you can watch and enjoy instead!

For Starboy/Asha stans...Stardust!

For both Starboy and Chris Pine stans...Rise of the Guardians!

For those of you who love the idea of storytelling magic...Whisper of the Heart!

For those of you hungry for a diversely cast, "woke" fairy tale...Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella (1997)!

For people looking for a colorful, family-friendly musical...Wonka!

For avant-garde animation fans...Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio!

For modern CG animation fans...Puss in Boots: The Last Wish!

And finally, probably most obviously -- for those Disney fans looking for a loving tribute to 100 years of Disney Animation with a bunch of Easter Eggs and good humor...Once Upon a Studio!

Much love to you all! 💛

#disney wish #wish (2023)#wish critical #disney #opinion #analysis #oh boy here i go

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tyrantisterror · 8 months ago

Note

While we’re on the subject of Dungeons & monsters, what are your top ten favorite D&D monsters & why?

I'm going to limit this to monsters that are either original creations of D&D or so divorced from their mythological roots that they might as well be original creations, or else this would just be me listing dragons. This is also in no particular order.

I'm gonna start with the Otyugh, because I think it's a result of D&D creating a very interesting ecosystem to justify its mechanics. You have all these artificial dungeons filled with different man-eating monsters, right? Well, what about the waste products they create? Carrion, yes, but also, you know... poop.

Well, you get Otyughs, a species that, depending on the setting, was either artificially engineered to take care of the waste products of a dungeon, or naturally evolved to clear out the waste of enormous megafauna predators like dragons. Is it mostly just an excuse to introduce yet another weird monster with a unique attack mechanic (say hello to sepsis and other infections, players)? Yeah, but it's a good excuse, it gets the imagination flowing.

I've actually played a lot more Pathfinder than D&D proper, and Pathfinder went out of its way to give Otyughs love by exploring all the aspects of their ecology that were only lightly outlined or implied in D&D, including the fact that they're technically intelligent enough to be capable of speech and reason - and thus, not necessarily a monster you have to deal with using violence alone. It really endeared me to them, to the point where Otyugh characters became something of a trademark of mine when running Pathfinder/D&D campaigns - and to the point where I ended up making up an expy of them for my own fantasy setting.

Bulettes are one of the coolest looking D&D monsters for my money, especially given that their modern designs take two inspiration from two very different animals - sharks and tortoises - and manage to combine them so beautifully to create something at once very cool and yet perfectly plausible as a "real" creature.

I love Rust Monsters for the same reason I love Otyughs - it's a monster that was made to showcase a game mechanic (namely, destroying players' weapons and armor, making sure they know how valuable those things are) and ends up creating a weird but plausible and interesting aspect of the ecology and world-building as a result. Also like Otyughs, they're very cute in a groady monster way.

Not every monster needs to have a big mind-blowing concept for me to be happy, though. Sometimes a creepy guy with a squid for a head who eats brains is enough. Mind Flayers are iconic and often imitated despite/because of being such a simple and easy to grasp concept.

Speaking of iconic monsters, Beholders feel like such an obvious cool concept that is shocking to me that they're more or less an original D&D creation - and it kind of sucks that they are, because a giant monster head with one main eye and several smaller eyes on stalks feels like it should be as ubiquitous in fiction as dragons and unicorns, and yet it can't be without paying Wizards of the Coast a shit-ton of royalties.

I will say that the lore D&D gave Beholders is pretty good, though - namely that each Beholder thinks it is the apex of their kind, and hates all other beholders for their perceived imperfections. Because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, you see. It's great, no notes, but beholders should belong to the people, not copyright holders.

I'm pretty sure Mimics originate from D&D, though I guess they just couldn't keep the idea of "a treasure chest that fucking eats you" from the people, since they appear in a lot of non-licensed stuff. As they should - man-eating treasure chests are another monster concept that should belong to the people.

I was talking about Froghemoths the other day on here but I want to reiterate that I love them despite/because of the fact that there really is no greater concept at play here than "what if there was a big fucking frog freak," and not once in the long history of this game has anyone decided there needed to be more at play than that. A big fucking frog freak is enough for all of us.

I just think this one looks neat.

D&D kobolds are in the category of "so far removed from its mythic roots that it's basically a new monster," and in that case the new monster is "scrabbly little dragon people with extreme anxiety," and I love that. Kobolds are my favorite humanoid species in D&D, and I'm glad 5th edition finally gave them a stat block that's actually playable, as opposed to previous edition's attempts, which made the prospect of being a kobold character the equivalent of having a public humiliation kink.

Finally, and also in the category of "technically named after a mythic monster it no longer resembles in almost any way," we have the Tarrasque, which went from a turtle/lion hybrid dragon in myth to a nigh-indestructible monster that's explicitly compared to natural disasters for its immense size, vast destructive power, and near inability to be harmed thanks to its armored hide and insane healing abilities. Or, in short, D&D lawyer friendly equivalent of Godzilla. How can I not love D&D Godzilla?

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everythingelseisextra · 1 year ago

Text

Scar Tissue (Tommy's POV)

Part Twenty of Twenty-One

Description: Tommy makes a deal. Weeks after the night of your escape, you and Tommy finally talk. Warnings: mention of rape, self harm, references to suicide, guns, language, UNEDITED BE NICE TO ME I'M TRYING Author's Note: My portrayal of the reader character is not what I originally planned, but when I wrote the first draft, she felt too much like a victim and not a survivor. My apologies if it feels inaccurate. Word Count: 3079 Tag List: @theshelbyslimited @ttaechi @weaponizedvirtue @Majesticcmey @Optimisticsandwichgladiator @zablife @princesssterek @mm0thie @callsignvenus @ay0nha @mgdixon @fairytale07 @dreamy-caramel @ce1iat @algae-tm @dragonsondragons @trentknd @nothingofsimplicity @babayaga67 @shelbydelrey @globetrotter28 @look-at-the-soul @notalxx @chaengist @cookiez56-blog @skxawngs @h0neylemon @kmc1989 @darling-imobsessed @eleanorthemo

Liszt is not a man. Liszt is not a vengeful God, sent to this earth to scorch the lives of innocents with brutality and thinly veiled torture. Liszt is not even a single entity.

“It’s a group, yeah? A group of well-sourced people united under the cause of money,” Alfie explained, the day before the fire, the rescue, though it’s arguable who rescued who on that night. “They know what you don’t. They’re connected in a way that you aren’t. And you think, right, that you can wriggle in there and start a cave-in, but you can’t, now can you? Now, I knows a man who’s part of this organization. A Lisztomaniac, if you will, who might be pushed in your direction if the right price is offered to him. Deplorable, that shit is, but knowing how to move people from one place to another is, eh, useful.”

I know now that this is not a group I can destroy. They are not united under a single person, but spread between countries, well-connected. What I can do is protect my own. What I can do is business between men considering their women. She’s done enough fighting. I failed her once; I refuse to do it again.

I’ve been on the outskirts of a twisted world for months now, watching, waiting, trying to collect information that, knowing what I know now, was beyond me. There’s a humor to it, that I spent those days searching for an answer that dangled above my head when all I did was look down. Above me, puppeteers watched their puppets dance.

I meet one of those puppeteers at a pub not far from Birmingham. A quiet, clean place, where well-dressed men sit and smoke at the bar, glasses of amber or dark liquid sitting in front of them. A gentleman standing at the bar glances at me as I walk in, says something to the barkeep, then moves away to a table. No one else takes notice. Unusual.

There’s a holster over my shoulders and a gun rests below each arm, underneath my suit jacket, and still, I am wary. Those I met that night were drones, and even they overpowered us in sheer numbers. These are the Kings and Queens of the hidden ring, royalty of a sick trade. I meet him at the table, he shakes my hand and murmurs a greeting, and we both sit.

He doesn’t speak, just watches me with large brown eyes. I pull a cigarette from the case in my pocket, light it, take a drag of it. I exhale my words with the smoke.

“There is a price to living. Name it. For the woman who escaped you, for the girl, Hollis.” I sit back in my seat, casting my gaze over him, a discrete, weakly-built man with tight lips and a raised chin. “I assure you, I can pay it.”

“We have no need for money, Mr. Shelby.” His voice is quiet, soft, almost gentle. “We have a need for assurances and alliances from prominent figures in certain trades.”

A thin-lipped smile spreads on his face.

“I was told that Liszt has interest in different currencies to support his—”

“Currencies can be defined as loose as you like. I’m simply a spokesman for this territory, after all. And I don’t need money from anywhere.” His fingers steeple on the table. “You are dealing with me, not Liszt.”

“Tell me, then.” My eyes slide down to the glowing embers at the end of my cigarette, then back to him.

“You are a political man, Mr. Shelby. You have a rising name.”

I incline my head. I have a faint, sickening sense of where this path leads, can feel the seed of a secret being planted in my mind. It will grow, I think, until I cannot keep it anymore. I blink, and it’s gone, replaced by the gentleman in front of me.

“We request only that you not expose Liszt, or the white slave trade, at any point in your career. We request that, if the circumstances arise that we cross paths once more, you turn a blind eye.” He gives me another smile. “Hollis isn’t the only young woman in our roster in the surrounding area, you see, and if more are unearthed, well, you must simply carry on.”

I take quiet note of the apparent fragility of their organization, how one man could speak out and blow it all apart. If I had known, if Alfie had told me names, this could all have been avoided. And, yet, I sit here blind, the man across from me nameless, and his demands unavoidable.

I nod once. “I understand.”

“You have a son, I believe, Mr. Shelby?”

“Yes.” I keep my face straight, despite the urge to curl my lip. I can hear the threat behind his words, the warning of what would happen if I were to break this agreement.

“A good boy, I assume, having been raised by a man such as yourself?”

I stand, pushing my chair back. “Where’s the girl?”

“Charlie is his name, if I’ve been informed correctly. He stays at your home in Warwickshire most days.” He smiles up at me, those gentle words, so conversational, a thinly veiled threat. I shake my head. He’s offered no new information, no new danger, and so I step out from in front of my chair.

“Where is Hollis?”

“I see you’re itching to leave with her, Mr. Shelby, but I’m sorry to inform you that Hollis has work to complete. She will be delivered to your home in a week’s time.”

It makes my skin crawl, the softness of his voice, the elegant way he stands to walk me to the door, all the while speaking of children forced to serve in ways they must hardly understand. Even more so, the way I have such little power in this bargain, how they seem to be placating me.

I drop my voice as we reach the exit of the pub. “Understand that if she is not, I will use the information I’ve been given.”

“We understand, Mr. Shelby, but would also like you to note that it does little to poke the bear.” He smiles and opens the door. “Good day, Mr. Shelby.”

—-

She comes out at night. I hear her ghostly footsteps in the hall outside the drawing room, bare on the cold tile. If I move to view her, she slips back into the darkened corridors of the house, skittish of my sight. I’ve asked Frances to watch her, so I know that she ventures from the room she’s barricaded herself in to eat and drink, to clean and bandage the wounds of the day, wrought out of fingernails or the inky sharpness of pens or whatever else she can find that is sharp or hard enough to pierce or scrape her skin. While she creeps around the kitchen, I make my way to her room.

Sometimes I find vomit on the floor, half dried from the day of sitting, or sometimes I stumble upon a smashed vase, a remnant of some stricken panic or fit of rage, I can’t be sure. Either way, I clean up in silence. Change the bloodied sheets and search the room for anything sharp, try to slip into the mind of someone self-destructive. I find myself staring at the still-warm indent she leaves in the bed, where she feigns sleep while the sun is out. My eyes slide shut and I remember in the hospital, her hand slipped over my waist, her breath on my back. Some of the tension leaves me. There was closeness once; if I’m good, if I’m strong, there will be again.

I’ve been hearing silence on the other side for too long now. She haunts Arrow House, somewhere between living and dead, a purgatory that she commands both of us to stay in. It’s lonesome, stuck in this cycle of missing each other. When she feigns sleep and avoids me, I am too cowardly to chase after her. There is power to her refrain, to her quiet. Filled with a silence that neither of us know how to break.

I blink. I’ve been looking endlessly at this hollow spot on the bed, lost somewhere. I have never felt further from her. Even for the distance I’ve created at times. Even for the moments of anger and fear that we’ve nurtured between us.

She died, I think. Somewhere in the violence of that night, her life ended. She’s like me, now, living each day like it doesn’t matter any more. Drifting through weeks on end without contact with any form of humanity, disassociated from any light or form of life.

I sit down on the edge of her bed. There’s a window at the head of it, and I face that, looking out at the silent stars. Her sickness weighs on my own, and I hate that we are separate. There is nothing keeping her here with me, no reason for her to remain alive when all she has are nights she spends alone in the dark.

I look to the night sky and wait for the edges to lighten, for the black to give way to misty gray, then pale yellow, then wander into the subdued oranges and pinks of a new day. I wait for her footsteps, and when I hear them, I don’t turn. I keep my eyes on the dawn and my elbows on my knees, chin resting on clasped hands propped up between them.

She falters in the doorway. I’m usually gone by now, gone back to the side of the house that still belongs to me. She wavers, her appearance in my periphery rippling like water disrupted. I rethink how it all happened, how my fatal mistake turned her into this haunted figure in my house, this otherworldly woman, one foot in the grave.

I open my mouth to speak, but before I can, she steps back and disappears, back into the bowels of the manor. I stand and follow, trying to move as light as she does, as silently. My essence is heavier than hers, burdened by the worldly needs and wants and desires, whereas she becomes this separate being, breathing but not alive, feeling but not vibrant.

I follow her down certain half-lit hallways, with the dawn glowing faintly through windows and our shadows passing on the opposite walls. Her shoulders are drawn back, her head held high, each step certain and purposeful.

When she finally stops, it’s in a room I rarely visit. Books line half the shelved walls, but she gives them no notice, walking to the windows that cover the other half. In the dreamy morning light, she seems to float, the colors wrapping around her. I release a slow breath. I can’t say it, but even after everything, she’s beautiful.

She sits on the bench in front of the windows and faces me, crossing her legs and tilting her head. I haven’t heard her voice in weeks, haven’t been this close to her in days. She’s become a recluse of a certain kind.

I find I can’t speak, even with my intentions being to find something to say. What do you say to someone who went through a hell that you would never understand? What do you say to someone who has no reason to trust you?

She shakes her head, turning to look at the bookshelves, a faint smile on her lips that quivers. “You don’t even know what to say.”

“Can I sit?” I ask. She follows my gaze to the open space on the bench.

“I think you should stand.”

“You’re avoiding me.” It’s the only thing I can think of to say. I am clumsy in the art of verbal tenderness, a child new to the gentle touch of a kind word.

“Do you blame me?” Still, she stares at the bookshelves, not at me.

“No.” I try to soften, try to be calming, an anchor. I’m used to rousing, to evoking something closer to hatred or vengeance. I am not good at this. “Something needs to change.”

“Yeah? What do you suggest?” There’s bitterness to her words.

“Your horses need keeping.” I flip open the cigarette case in my pocket and pull one out, light it, take a drag. “Charlie asks for you. He wonders what happened to you.”

She scoffs. “Back to life as usual, then. Pretend it never happened.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Yes.” She looks at me. “You did.”

“What I’m saying is that you need to live.” I incline my head slightly. “Stop doing this shit you’ve made a habit.”

“You know…” She closes her eyes. “Yesterday, when you were at work, I went into the drawing room. Grabbed the gun and held it to my head. Put my finger on the trigger.” She exhales, sounding as though even just the thought gives her relief. “I didn’t pull it. I will not let you bury me. I will not let you find me dead on your desk, brains spilled onto the paperwork. So I’m doing the next best thing.”

I remain composed. I take another drag. Let the smoke fill my lungs, drying out my throat. “I—”

“I’m at peace with it. I’ll wither away, slowly carve my body into scar tissue. It doesn’t hurt anymore. Nothing does.” She shrugs. “Sleep during the day, eat at night, go back to sleep.”

“I made an agreement.” I step towards her and her eyes snap to mine. “You belong to me, and they know that. So, you leave here, make your own way. You live. I won’t shelter you if you choose to wither.”

A rueful expression falls over her, and she stands slowly, drawing herself up and facing me. “You think I fear you still? You think there’s part of me that thinks you can hurt me, abandon me? I know who you are, now. Little man with a big gun, afraid of the dark. You couldn’t save me. I saved me. You could never own me. I won’t join in your game of make-believe.”

I change tactics as quickly as she counters them. “Your horses need you.”

“Jesus Christ, Tommy, will you ever say something you really mean?” Her jaw clenches. “All you do is play games. If I wanted that, I never would’ve tried to escape.”

“I’m as—”

“‘I’m as bad as they are,’ yeah, whatever, you’re not. You can pretend you are all you want, but I’ve seen both sides.” She mocks me, a hint of disgust in her words, which fades away with her next sentence. “You’re a man who tries to be good as best he can, and I see that.”

I take a breath. Words bubble like a babbling brook in my head, fragments slipping through my thinking. She wants me to say what I mean. “You live in my house and I never see you. You wound your body and refuse to acknowledge it. You want to die.” My gaze wanders to the windows behind her, out into the pale morning. I take another drag. “‘Suppose I’m selfish.”

She crosses her arms. “Why?”

Honesty does not come naturally to me. I glance back at her, hiding my hesitation by appearing to analyze her expression. I speak slowly, a plodding, thoughtful pattern to my words. “It’s not right to wish for you to be whole and healed when the pain you feel is my fault.”

Her head tilts again, and she nods. “You miss me.”

I pause, then sigh. “Yes.”

“It was your fault. That doesn’t mean I blame you. And— maybe I didn’t say this in the most straightforward way— I’m alive because of you. If it wasn’t for you being, well, you, I’d have blown my brains out by now.” She blinks slowly, eyes falling as she does so. “You refuse to say whatever you feel, you get stuck in your own world, but you’re also… earnest. You’ve been taking care of me for weeks even though I haven’t allowed you to. I can’t leave you alone. I can’t leave you like that.”

“How do you find the words?” I find myself asking. “How do you talk easily about this?”

“I don’t know. I feel as though the person who went through all that isn’t me, sometimes. Like I watched myself be raped and hurt instead of being present for it. I can talk about it because I’m separate from it, mostly. Other times, though…” Her head lowers. “Other times it’s all I can feel.”

I resist the urge to step towards her. “Something needs to change.”

“Why?” Suddenly defensive, she steps back and sits back down, head still bowed. “Why does something need to change? I’m fine. Everything is fine. We can keep going like this for—”

“I can’t. I can’t watch you wither. I’m too—” I huff out a breath, fingers tightening on the cigarette. “Too fucking fragile for that.”

She laughs humorlessly, then sobers. “I think I’m sick in the head.”

I nod. “You can be sick in the head and carry on. You can be fucking scared and shell-shocked and still live. Let me help you.”

Her eyes, still pinned to the floor, flicker back and forth. “I don’t need—”

“Yes. You do.” I step forward and she flinches, then softens. “You need me. I need you. Let us be, then, or neither of us will feel alive.”

Her next words are mumbled, half agonized, half hopeful. “I’m not the woman you love anymore.”

“I have faith that no matter who you become, you’ll always be someone I adore.” The words slip quietly from my lips, and I lift the cigarette to them, hiding the vulnerability I shared.

She swallows hard, head still bowed, arms wrapped around herself. Slowly, I close the gap between us and reach out, fingers gently touching her chin, lifting her head.

“Chin up,” I say quietly. “Back straight. Will you let me help you, now?”

She nods, staring up at me with those glassy eyes, a touch of light in the pupils. She hesitates, then stands. I step back, hand falling to touch her arm, where shallow cuts lace.

“I wish we’d met sooner,” she murmurs, stepping forward to lean her head on my shoulder. “We would’ve done so much good for each other.”

“Not too late.”

“No,” she sniffles quietly. “Not too late.”

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