#enjoy unhinged crayon art

[veveisveryuncool]

ok small art dump from trip

[crowtrobotx]

A small Christmas gift for @vodkafolie who is AMAZING and always drawing such beautiful things that I can never repay because toddlers with chewed up crayons put me to shame. But I can write stupid little unfunny drabbles - I hope you enjoy your little Across the Heisenverse gift! ❤️ I am smashing our OCs together like Barbie dolls and making them be friends. 😤

(Hazel and Toast belong to Vodka, Lottie and Kris belong to me)

Title: Metal & Ginger

Words: 1742

Warnings: None unless you’re not cool with cursing

(Apologies for any weird formatting, I am on mobile and fighting for my life)

“Are they still having a go at it out there?”

“Yep. Looks like my Karl took a snowball to the face… yours lost his hat somewhere. Haven’t killed each other yet, though.”

“Think we should intervene?”

“Nope.”

“Good - me neither.”

Kris smirked and turned away from the frosty kitchen window, fresh coffee in one hand and tea in the other. Hazel sat cross legged on the living room floor, roaring fire to her back, lightly biting her tongue as her focus returned to the task at hand: the already huge and growing larger by the second gingerbread house occupying half of the coffee table. She was so engrossed in perfecting the details of the immaculate candy garden she’d made that Kris had half a mind to offer her a spare pair of tweezers to help ensure not a single sprinkle was out of place. It was a damn shame that the thing would be eaten and destroyed within seconds of the Karls returning.

The Karls. Kris shuddered. It was a horrifying phrase, one that had Hazel not been present to corral her own diabolically insane engineer might have finally sent Kris to the loony farm. Kris had grown so used to totally unhinged happenings that when, earlier that same morning, she’d stepped outside to see if Karl was done in the garage and ready for the Mom Mandated Family Holiday Activity Day only to find a swirling dimensional portal in her backyard along with a slightly differently dressed Heisenberg swearing at the top of his lungs and a very exhausted woman holding an overly perturbed chicken, she’d barely reacted. She only rolled her eyes and gestured for the woman to come inside from the cold with her bird, leaving the two men to hurl accusations at one another over whose experiment exactly had gone wrong and who exactly was responsible for the tear in time and space that would surely have the city sending them a strongly worded letter.

And here they were, several hours later, having a fine time, thank you very much.

“Lottie, bug, are you sure you don’t want any more hot chocolate?” Kris turned her attention to her nearby daughter once she’d settled down comfortably on the floor across from Hazel.

Lottie, positioned at the head of the coffee table, only shook her head. She was staring with a sort of frenzied, wide eyed fascination at the chicken, who sat puffed up behind the gingerbread house like an overly critical construction overseer. Pinky the rat peeked out of her overalls pocket, content to mindlessly chew on his hard boiled egg snack - something that Kris was almost certain had come from the bowl in the fridge labeled “for Christmas - DO NOT EAT,” but that was a battle she simply did not have the energy for today.

Hazel paused her meticulous sugar powdering along the candy floss hedges to lay a gentle hand on Lottie’s shoulder. Kris found herself admiring the floral embroidery on her jacket again, wondering when the best time to unleash the full madness of her own fiber art habit on her new friend might be and how many extra sweaters and scarves she could convince the woman to leave with.

“Lottie, I’m sorry, this must be very strange for you. Seeing your Papa argue with his, er…. clone. I promise they’ll get it sorted soon and this will all just be a funny memory.”

At last, Lottie seemed to snap from her poultry hypnosis and looked at Hazel with a sort of profound confusion. “It’s not weird,” she insisted. “Papa fights people all the time. He fought the neighbor because he brought Mama some soup when she was sick. He fought the grocery store cashier because he said Mama’s outfit was nice. He tried to fight the mailman last week because he waved at Mama too long while walking by—“

“OKAY,” Kris slapped her knees. “I really should get back to decorating the little gingerbread occupants, don’t you think? What’s the point of a house with no one to live in it, after all.”

Hazel sat back, either used to her own Karl’s overprotective nature or wisely choosing to stay out of it. She’d only just began to pick up where she’d left off before groaning in exasperation.

“Well, there goes the shed roof again… pass the piping bag, would you, Kris?”

“Sure - here you go. I suspect I might know the culprit behind your architectural woes, though.”

Hazel nodded knowingly before throwing an accusatory glance at Toast, whose beak was suspiciously speckled with gingerbread crumbs. The bird looked rather proud of herself, an expression that - had Kris not known better - said ‘and I’d do it again.’

Moments passed before there was more shouting from outside, the two men clearly no closer to resolving their issues.

“Well you’re the one who fucked it up! You figure it out!”

“Me!? How do we know it wasn’t your dumbass who forgot to tighten a bolt somewhere?”

Hazel and Kris exchanged withering glances, but said nothing.

Lottie, after carefully setting Pinky and his egg on Karl’s recliner, crawled forward to inspect Kris’s work so far on the gingerbread people. There were five - one to represent each human occupant and guest. Fortunately, Kris had baked extra in the event of a mishap - though, the mishap she’d anticipated was “Karl ate three of them before they even got around to decorating” and not “the convergence of two universes occurring on the lawn at 10am.” She was working on her cookie self now, carefully piping her curls and debating how much of her sleeve tattoo she wanted to portray.

“You know what’d be fun?” Lottie poked her head under Kris’s arm, putting on her best innocent child eyes. “If we all made each other. Like, I’ll make Papa, the other Papa can make Miss Chicken—“

“Her name is Hazel, honey,” Kris interjected. Hazel mumbled a hasty it’s fine, I can be Miss Chicken before Lottie continued, unbothered.

“—you’ll make me, and Papa can make you!”

“That’s a sweet idea, bug. But unfortunately Papa is banned from depicting me in any art form after an incident that happened when we tried this before you were born.”

Hazel looked up and met Kris’s eyes. “Don’t tell me - he went into, ah… way too much detail?”

Kris’s shoulders slouched in defeat. “Anatomically correct gumdrop boobs, I’m afraid.”

Hazel nodded knowingly.

The side door of the house banged open suddenly as Kris’s Karl stormed in first, followed closely by Hazel’s. They looked like two alley cats who’d gotten in a tussle, but at least less manic than before. Hazel sat up expectantly.

“Did you get it figured out?”

“Yeah,” her Karl threw an accusatory glare at Kris’s. “But the damn thing needs to reboot which will take at least another hour. Then we can get out of this weird hell hole - the fuck you say this place was called?”

“Ohio,” Kris’s Karl snarled in barely concealed annoyance.

“Well. We’re not in any hurry,” Hazel called, before patting the empty pillows to her left. “Why don’t you two come and help us finish this?

The two men glared at one another - Kris wouldn’t have been surprised at this point if they’d stuck their tongues out, frankly - before stalking over to the living room and plopping down, both no doubt ready to start eating their partners’ hard work before it was done.

Lottie scrambled into her father’s lap and excitedly began pointing out the parts she’d made, while Toast - who had been leaning ever close to the delicious shed again, neck extended to a near comical degree - suddenly clucked in fury and leapt off the table to situate herself between her own Karl and Hazel in a sort of avian Make Room for Jesus gesture. Predictably, Hazel had to immediately slap her Karl’s hand away from disturbing the perfect M&M garden path she’d crafted.

“What the fuck’s the point of making it if we can’t eat it?”

“Didn’t say you can’t eat it, but you have to admire it first,” Hazel said indignantly.

“Well, how long I gotta look at it for?”

“I’ll tell you when I’m satisfied,” was all Hazel offered. She smirked at Kris who gave a wink in return - they each respected the particular variety of strength that was born from having to handle This Particular Man.

“Karl,” Kris turned to her own husband. “I didn’t get to finish the gingerbread garage on this side - why don’t you do the honors since it’s your favorite room? We can just take this part out here and—“

“That’s a load bearing wall, Mama” Lottie rolled her eyes in mock indignation. “You can’t just take it out.”

“Yeah! You tell her, Butterfly!” Kris’s Karl puffed his chest out with pride at his daughter’s engineering prowess. She shot him a furious look before he followed up with a hastily mumbled “s-sorry, babe.”

Toast clucked approvingly.

“You know,” Hazel ventured after a long pause. “Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if the portal just… remained operational. It doesn’t have to be on all the time, but you never know when you might need to do some shopping… in a parallel reality.”

“I agree,” Kris said. “Or when you might need to borrow vegetables from… a very specific garden.”

“Or take a feral little child to the park together.”

“Or bitch over a warm beverage about whatever unholy fusion of human and machine your man concocted this time—“

“Are you two gonna kiss?”

If the look he’d gotten from Kris before could kill, her Karl was lucky this one didn’t erase him and his entire bloodline.

“Okay, we get it,” Hazel’s Karl grumbled finally. “As long as I don’t have to see him all the time - handsome fucker, though he is.”

“Indeed,” Kris’s Karl sniffed. “I suppose I can put aside your clearly inferior intelligence for my wife’s sake - call it Holiday Spirit. I’m feeling generous.”

“Well, isn’t that nice - too bad your genetics weren’t generous with brain power since it’s clearly your fault that the reactor blew—“

“Oh, here we go again! Trying to deflect from the fact that you admitted your motherboard was on the fritz—“

“I don’t like your beard.”

“It’s YOUR beard, jackass!”

Kris and Hazel met each other’s eyes before wordlessly and carefully sliding the gingerbread house to the other end of the table, resuming their task in blissful peace

“Merry Christmas, Hazel.”

“And you.”

[closedforeverforever]

FNAF SECURITY BREACH HC

Right, so like I know this is an art account but I’m not making another account just to post this so if ya don’t wanna read, KEEP SCROLLING

Also, a lot of these hc come from tik tok and stuff that I’ve seen, so don’t slander me lol.

Alright here we go!

All of the animatronics love your favorite Martin and especially the song orphan tears.

Speaking on yfm, moon asked music man to play orphan tears while he chased Gregory to get, ‘hyped up’(like he isn’t on crack) 

Sunny is very clumsy and runs into things very easily, he’s chipped tooth because of it.

Both moon and sun are contortionists, and can bend there body any way. Moon uses it to creep kids.

Freddy and chica grieved after Bonnie was destroyed and keeps a bowling ball in there room so they can remember him by. Roxy doesn’t like to speak on the matter of Bonnie but she definitely misses him.

roxy Monty like to get there nails done and get acrylics together. Montys gets longer nails every time.

Chica smells like shit because of all the garbage she eats. Chica once drank spoiled milk and she was unbearable to be around.

Sun and moon sometimes get into fist fights and kids will bet there faz tickets on who will win

Roxy listens to ayesha erotica

Freddy gives free faz tickets if your nice to him or you say he’s your favorite

Sun gets really anxious and unhinged when the lights are dimmed and snaps at you easily. He’ll start to bend and crawl freaking you out, he doesn’t mean too though. Moon, when the lights are dimmed, laughs at sun freaking out over it.

Sun knows how to do cartwheels and juggle

Vanessa has camera access to all the animatronics rooms and once checked into montys room, only to find him making a tik tok with that one cupcake audio saying how he beat the shit out of Bonnie, 

Monty likes to listen to ‘interior crocodile alligator’ on repeat

All of the animatronics believe Santa exist and write letters to him every year.

Roxy writes herself fan mail

Sun is covered in glitter glue, from where kids put glitter glue on him or, he got glitter glue on himself. Either way he like to be sparkly

sun likes to drink glitter glue and eat crayons. Moon only likes to eat the orange crayons

Sun teaches the kids how to do acrobatic stuff, and does stretching exercises with them. Oh and he plays really bad 80s music while they stretch

Coco melon plays 24/7 in the daycare

Gregory watch’s those really click Baity Minecraft videos

Anyways, those are all my hc :D I hope you enjoyed!

Btw I made this on my trampoline :3