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puppy-byun · 3 years ago

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No Catching Feelings | Final; M

pairing: Hyunjin x Reader

rating: 18+

word count: 13k

genre: smut / enemies to lovers / fake dating / semi social media au

warnings: oh boy where do we start, this one is lots of smut and LOTS of angst..., no one can deal with their problems for shit, except jisung, but no one listens to jisung, a tiny panic attack, thigh riding, oral (f receiving), face sitting, hand job, questionable power dynamics honestly, the usual pet names, unprotected sex, body fluids, dirty talk, you’re riding Hyunjin bc boy is w h i p p e d, yeah they're finally fucking whoop

summary: Even though Hyunjin and you would rather kill each other than be civil, somehow you end up being the person forced to help him with his peculiar girl troubles. Secretly you’re sure Jisung forced you to fake-date just to watch the chaos ensue.

disclaimer: Icb that with this No Catching Feelings is over... I’m SO grateful to everyone who supported this project (and accepted my absences in between) and I really hope you guys enjoy part 5!!!!

If there’s something you want to see written pls also let me know, I’m currently writing on something new and if I can fit it in i definitely will!

♥♥♥♥

taglist: @geniejunn @changbinscypher @anythingrelatingtojinyoung@imhyvnjin @ninjaleeknow @babyracha97@vantxx95 @minaamhh@heiroftragedy @enhardhours @lacy-loo @helwegen @caratinylyfe @danyxthirstae01 @19yearsmemories @xviternity

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The remainder of almost your entire weekend was spent in what you perceived as the most awkward situation you had ever found yourself in, especially in your own dorm. You were stuck in a sort of vacuum in which neither you nor Hyunjin knew how to act around each other. Despite of how you had already crossed your initial line when you had given in and let him finger you, there was an undeniable feeling you couldn’t shake, that you had once again crossed another line.

It was the first thing on your mind when you had woken up hungover, the taste of alcohol and Hyunjin in your mouth serving as a reminder of the previous night, because you had been so panicked you had run straight to your room after sucking him off. It really didn’t help the situation, and after you had spent the entirety of your Saturday, morning to evening, in your room, just to avoid running into Hyunjin, you couldn’t even tell whether the situation was awkward for him before you started acting the way you did.

You cursed yourself for throwing all caution into the wind while inebriated, simply because in the end you really couldn’t resist Hyunjin. It hadn’t even been him who had tried to seduce you this time – crossing the line for a second time was all on you. Your jaw still hurt a little and your throat had been raw for all of Saturday, which just served as a harsh reminder that you had let him fuck your mouth, had almost begged him to do so, and had enjoyed it. Not only was this straying extremely far from what you had initially agreed on, which in itself would have been fine. But you also knew that what you had done for him after that party was something you would not have done for someone you didn’t feel wholly comfortable with. Someone you didn’t trust. And you had even felt special for being in that situation, when in retrospect probably hardly any guy would say no to the girl he wants to fuck, on her knees, offering to suck him off. Nothing of what had happened last night had anything to do with feelings or affection on his account. The fact that in that moment your brain had completely forgotten all rationality was scary. Hyunjin was in it for the sex, as, allegedly, were you. Not because you felt attached to him. This was casual. This is casual.

So instead of dealing with your problems you sat in your bed, reading a book or burying yourself in your laptop and binging a TV show you had already seen twice, just to avoid the situation at hand. But even so, you knew you had to talk to him and the thought was constantly at the back of your mind.

Whether Hyunjin had noticed that for you something had changed in a way you didn’t care for him to ever find out, you weren’t sure. It would have been easy to just ask, but so far you had not managed to find the courage to do so. Especially since it was you who had added that 9th point on your list clearly stating that neither of you was allowed to catch feelings. You couldn’t fathom the humiliation of admitting that you had gone and done just that.

You were so incredibly angry with yourself, and not just for not noticing you had developed a soft spot for the dark haired boy until it was too late, but also for handling this so badly that there was no way he hadn’t immediately noticed something was off. If you hadn’t been sure your last functioning brain-cell has ceased to work a while ago before, you were now.

Heaving a big sigh and deciding that looking like you had spent the last twenty-four days holed up in your bed (which you had) would probably work in your favour because you did not want to appeal to Hyunjin, you got up and pressed down the door handle decidedly. It was time to be an adult.

Before you could lose your brittle courage you waltzed through the empty living room, hoping you would find Hyunjin in his room. You heard his voice even before you tentatively pressed open the door a small sliver, his words filtering through clearly now, but even more so of the words of the person he apparently was in a video call with.

“So she gives good head?”

Freaking Han Jisung. Freaking Han Jisung talking about that night with Hyunjin, and assessing how well you could suck dick. Now why was that no surprise? Deciding that this was not a conversation you wanted to hear you opened the door wider, your eyes settling on the laptop screen, which showed Jisung’s face in full glory. You fixed him with a glare and by the way his eyes widened slightly you knew he had seen you enter. Hyunjin, however, having his back turned to the door, had clearly not noticed you yet.

“Bruh, you have no idea. Something about the way she looked on her knees—“ Hyunjin’s voice was bordering on a groan and it made your body tingle from your fingertips to your toes. You had to force your mind to move away from those thoughts. It had just been a good blowjob. It was not because it had been you giving the blowjob.

“God, Hyunjin, I don’t know and I shouldn’t know. I’m her best friend. It’s disgusting, honestly, are you not ashamed?” Hyunjin fell silent with a sound of irritation, and you could almost imagine the way he was frowning at Jisung’s sudden turn of behaviour, until you saw him stiffen on his desk chair, freezing up.

“She’s right behind me, isn’t she?”

Jisung only nodded in response, his eyes still more on you than Hyunjin. You decided it was the perfect moment to step in.

“Yes, she is. Hi Jisung. I hope you’re ashamed I heard this conversation at all.” Jisung cringed visibly before shrugging, pretending to be nonchalant about it.

“I think this is your mess Hyunjin, bye!” he chirped instead, simply shutting off the video call and leaving Hyunjin to swivel around dramatically slow to face you.

You weren’t actually angry, albeit a bit weirded out, because obviously Hyunjin would want to talk about things with his friends – as had you. It just so happened that said friend was the same person, which made things considerably awkward. It also occurred to you that Jisung probably hadn’t really wanted to listen to how good Hyunjin was with his fingers, so you couldn’t blame them for having a conversation you didn’t necessarily want to hear. You could have just knocked instead.

“Soooo…” Hyunjin started, his face pulling into an awkward grimace.

“So. You had a good talk with Jisung?” you chirped, straight up doing this just to see him squirm, but he didn’t seem to realize.

“Oh come on.” Hyunjin pouted instead, looking adorable when he really shouldn’t be making you feel all soft quite so fast. “I can’t just not talk about my sex life at all. I’m sure you also talked about, well. Stuff that happened.”

“Stuff that happened. You really have a way with words.”

“Did you?”

“Yes,” you paused for a second, just to savour the impact of what you were telling him. “With Jisung.”

You couldn’t help but laugh as you watched his eyes grow wider by the second.

“So you’re telling me Jisung basically knows all the dirty details?”

“Poor boy is probably traumatized by now.” you commented instead with a laugh, loosening up a bit and sitting down on Hyunjin’s bed. You had not been in his room since that one night he had you sit on his lap, and being back now you tried to suppress the memories because they would be highly counterproductive.

“By my retelling of how good you give head?” Hyunjin cheekily replied, overcoming his initial horror surprisingly fast.

“More like traumatized by your near groaning talking about it.”

It was easy to fall back into the mocking banter with Hyunjin and while you knew you had to talk, you didn’t have to do that the second your walked into his room. This was comfortable, this was easy, this helped you relax.

“It’s not my fault he could only dream of being in that position.”

“Oh, someone’s feeling quite cocky today.” Hyunjin only shrugged, a teasing smirk on his face and you rolled your eyes, trying to reach out to kick him in the shin. Your leg wasn’t nearly long enough so you only ended up almost slipping from the bed and him laughing at you. “A bit too cocky, considering I know you watch Skyrim porn.” you pushed, satisfied when his smirk fell for the fraction of a second. He caught himself way too fast, but you’d already guessed that with Hyunjin, his confidence would far outweigh his embarrassment.

“And I know you read Itachi fanfiction.”

He did catch you off guard with that bit of knowledge, something you didn’t think Jisung would ever tell another soul. Well, think again. To be fair, it only made sense that if he told you something like that about Hyunjin he would do the same for the black haired boy, but you had hoped that you had somewhat of an advantage with Jisung. Clearly, you did not.

“I’m going to kill Han Jisung.” you huffed, set to make true on that promise the next time you saw him. Hyunjin only laughed, not deterred in the slightest by your death threats.

“Does that knowledge make you any less attracted to me? Because it sure as hell doesn’t stop me from wanting to kiss you stupid.”

“You’re not the gift to all women you think you are.” you deadpanned with a raised eyebrow, but despite your words he was completely right. You had known the moment Jisung had told you that it would not do anything at all to make him any less attractive. It certainly had not stopped you from going down on him.

The thought brought you back to your initial reason of why you had come here in the first place, and it must have shown on your face because Hyunjin’s sly smirk fell the second he caught your sombre expression.

“What’s wrong?” he inquired, tone switched from teasing to soft. If only it were so easy to explain.

“I-“ you started off, quickly stopping again and looking for the right words. “I have avoided you since the party.” you began again, hoping you would be able to convey what you felt into words that would make sense to Hyunjin.

“Yes, I’ve noticed. I tried not to let it hurt my ego. Told myself you have your reasons.”

He was correct about that, however you could never discuss them with him. Like, for example, how you might not be able to stop yourself from misinterpreting what was simply some fun for…more. That was something Hyunjin never needed to know, so you could only ever tell him a half-truth of why you had reacted so strongly.

“I do. I should have talked to you right away the next morning but I just could not bring myself to do it. I felt… ashamed.” you finally admitted lamely, catching the way Hyunjin’s face scrunched up in confusion, fully aware that your explanations and reasoning were severely lacking.

“Ashamed for what? What happened? Because I’m pretty sure no one actually saw us in the hallway, and for the rest… well personally I thought it was fucking hot.”

“No! I mean… yes. But that’s not why. I was ashamed of myself.” As soon as the words left your mouth Hyunjin’s soft expression turned sour and you realized your mistake. “Not for what we did!” you immediately supplied, trying to backtrack on your wrong choice of words. “Not in the way you think! I just- I was drunk. I was really, really tipsy, and my emotions were all over the place, not just because of the alcohol but also because of everything that happened that evening. I should have just comforted you. Done shit normal people would do when someone pours out their heart. I certainly should not have sucked your dick in our living room, right after what you had told me.”

Hyunjin didn’t reply immediately, his sour expression relaxing ever so slightly, but the silence was unbearable, so you simply talked on. “Yeah, I know you kissed me first, but I just went and presumed that’s what you wanted, without ever asking whether that was okay with you.”

“You think I wouldn’t have told you if it weren’t okay with me?” Hyunjin finally supplied, his voice a match to his soft face. At some point during your tirade he had inched closer to you, close enough so he could now tenderly run his palm along your cheek.

“What I told you that night…,” he started, clearly struggling with his words as well, but pushing on. “There are worlds between that instance and anything that ever happened between us. It was me who kissed you first. That was me telling you that I’m comfortable with you.”

His voice carried great weight, even though he ended that sentence with a clear indication that this was all he could say on it. You bit your lip, unsure what to say because you had spent so much time mulling over this when in reality it wasn’t a problem at all. You simply had made it one.

But of course, what your mind hyper focused on was the fact that he was telling you you made him comfortable. The flutter in your heart was light enough to ignore, but it was there, and you tried to squash it without success.

“Honestly, you should be more worried about your knees.” Hyunjin chuckled and your eyes fell to the exposed skin, noting that he could clearly see the light bruises left there.

“You say that, but I can tell you’re proud, even though I did all the work.”

“Mmmh, and you worked that pretty little mouth so well.” You were grateful of his attempt to lighten the mood, knowing what he was doing with his snarky comments, and this time your kick didn’t miss his shin. He scrunched his face in pain, ready to tackle you on the bed but you were up faster, backing out of his reach.

Moving up on the bed Hyunjin grabbed your ankle, tugging until you were leant on your elbows and he could crawl over you, knees on either side of your thighs. There was a smile tugging at his lips, but it was still obvious where this was going. Except this time you were sober, and so was he, and neither of you had an excuse. You realized that moment that you couldn’t do this, couldn’t be roommates with benefits or whatever stupid label Hyunjin had put on what it is you were.

“Hyunjin?”

“Yeah?” He was towering over you, hair falling into his face and even though the tension was present, this time it was different. It was lighter, not as thick with desire as the previous times. It was bordering on too comfortable for fuck-buddies, and that realization weighted down enough to overshadow the way he was looking at you, licking his lips as if he wanted to eat you up.

“If… if we weren’t forced into this situation. The dating thing-” He didn’t let you finish, and you were half relieved because you felt awfully close to spilling out your guts to him, even though you had vowed not to do so. There was something about Hyunjin that made you break all your own rules with a few simple glances and touches.

“Don’t worry, I still wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about you moaning my name until your throat hurts.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, pressing a hand to his chest when he came close enough that his hair was tickling your collarbones.

“Stop being horny for a minute, will you?” He was almost pouting, and you hated that even when he was talking like this he managed to look adorable, of all things. “Let’s say I don’t suck your dick anymore. Would we even be friends?”

You saw a sliver of the amusement vanish from Hyunjin’s face when he sat back, careful not to lean on your thighs with his full weight, gnawing his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Yeah. Sure.” he shrugged and you knew he wanted to seem casual but his words were snappy and he failed to hide the snide from his voice. “If that’s what you want.”

No comment about wanting to eat you out. No comment about missing your mouth around his dick. No stupid comment at all. ‘If that’s what you want’. His tone suggested this wasn’t him saying he’d be okay with your choices and you could just be friends at all, because his voice gave his words a whole other meaning. He sounded almost flippant, as if the idea that you would expect to be friends after this without anything more was presumptuous.

You stilled under him, immediately regretting that you had convinced yourself now was the right time to ask something like that. That there even was such a thing as the right time, when part of you had been certain that a friendship between Hyunjin and you only existed as long as the sexual favours came along with it. But with the way the last two weeks had been going, you had managed to convince yourself that you were friends. That there was a connection that was stronger than the physical part, that would exist even if you stopped going on your knees for him. He had been so nice, so understanding, so trusting. He had treated you the way you imagined he would treat a friend and you had been so wrong.

He was studying your reaction, the way your smile had fallen, and your body had stiffened from unease. His read on you was good enough that he knew to get off your lap, and you hated yourself for the way your eyes were swimming when you hastily left his room.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As it turned out doing the adult thing and talking about your problems didn’t solve anything – it only made things worse. You felt miserable enough already with the knowledge that Hyunjin didn’t want to be friends. It had been stupid on your part to mistake the amicable time spent together for actual friendship. You had agreed to this dating thing, both of you, and you had to be convincing. Of course that would work better when he treated you like a friend, and what better reward than you sucking his dick in exchange. The butterflies in your stomach made you sick now that you know he didn’t even consider you a friend, let alone anything more than that.

It had been a while that you had felt angry enough to murder the boy, but with his blatant rejection the feelings only returned tenfold, especially with the way he was stomping around in his room when you had a 9am class and were trying to catch some sleep. There was no way you could ignore the sounds coming from Hyunjin’s room. You were aware he was most likely still choreographing or practicing, and it was very important to him, but you had lost all patience with him the moment you had left his room.

You decided to give him five more minutes for the sake of keeping the peace in the last few days you had to spend together but even after those there was no sign of him seizing his dancing and you were past your capacity to remain calm. You threw your blanket back with a groan, trudging over to his room. You considered it great progress that you weren’t ready to simply throw him out.

“Hyunjin, for fucks sake!”, you opened brashly, throwing his door open and causing him to stop mid-movement. It would have looked comical except Hyunjin was wearing only a generously cut out, loose tank top that displayed his shoulders and a considerable amount of his ribcage. You were angry, and you were hurt, but that didn’t simply cancel out everything you had felt before this afternoon. Fuck. He was sweating only lightly, but enough to make his skin glisten, his black hair tied back in a full ponytail, a few strands sticking to his forehead and neck. It always managed to throw you off track. His cheeks were slightly reddened from the heat and he was looking at you with his eyebrows scrunched together, taking out one airpod in confusion. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

“Some of us have morning classes, and I can’t sleep when it feels like you’re stomping on my head every other second. I’m sure whatever you’re doing is very important to you, but can you please continue this in the morning? Much appreciated.”

The way you threw the door shut behind him could definitely be considered excessive. And maybe some of the anger you felt stemmed from the fact that he still looked like sin incarnate, so even after breaking your heart like it was nothing he managed to cloud your thoughts just like that. If you stayed in that room any second longer you would completely forget that he had stomped on your heart just a few hours ago.

You threw your own door shut behind you, plopping down on your bed with your elbows resting on your thighs, your face buried in your palms. A few deep breaths proved to help very little to bring your head back to the here and now, where you needed to go to bed, but at least you managed to ignore the way tears were threatening to swim in your eyes again. You almost jumped off your bed when the door opened again, gently, but the sound still rang through the silent room. Usually Hyunjin stopped in the doorframe, respecting the rules you had set right at the beginning of your roommate situation. Not today. He was undeterred even when you got up to meet him halfway, irritation prominent on your face.

“This better be good. I thought we agreed you only ever enter if it’s a life or death situation?”

“It is.” You only raised an eyebrow, expecting more of an explanation but it never came. Instead, Hyunjin took one more step to close the distance between you, hands immediately settling on your waist and pressed his mouth to yours. You shouldn’t have allowed it. You should have pushed him away, kicked him out, anything to keep him out of your heart. Instead you didn’t even protest, stumbling back under the pressure he was applying with his hands and lips until your back hit the wall behind you, giving you no more room to move. Hyunjin’s kisses were hungry and frantic, as if he couldn’t possibly kiss you deeply enough. You let him run his tongue over your lips, your teeth, tasting you, his hands pressing into your skin through your shirt.

When he finally broke away to take a breath you tried to gather your thoughts, putting one hand on his chest so that you could look at him.

“That is your life and death emergency?”

“You literally just walked into my room in an oversized shirt, exploded on me and walked out. Not touching you right now would kill me.”

“Oh my god, you suck at flirting,” you pressed out through a laugh, even though you felt like crying, grateful for the fact that he seemed to either not notice, or ignore how watery your eyes were. You almost choked when his hands dropped from your hips to your ass, hoisting you up and closer against him. Your legs wrapped around him instinctively the second he buried his face in your hair.

“Make me shut up?” His voice had a raspy edge and you felt a pleasant shiver run down your spine, despite the ridiculousness of his words. He didn’t actually wait for you to reply to press his lips back onto yours again, possibly even more urgently than before. You knew this was because of your earlier words. Because you had suggested to stop messing around. While you felt like you were drowning under the weight of his rejection, you could only imagine that Hyunjin was equally as desperate not to lose this but for entirely different reasons.

A few desperate kisses, tongue running over your lips, teeth sinking into the flesh and leaving your lips glistening with spit to convince you that it was indeed a life or death situation and make you incapable of sticking to any boundaries. Just like that, you were flush against him, shirt riding up so high that it covered nothing of your legs anymore, leaving room for Hyunjin to run his nails over the skin of your exposed thighs. You could tell he was trying to hold back, he was always trying to hold back and not urge you. His hips kept bucking into yours whenever you bit down on his lower lip and sucked hard, despite the way he had himself pressed against you to leave no room. He was already half-hard, probably had been the moment he had barged into your room. Your fingertips were shaking the second you even remotely loosened your grasp on his hair.

Hyunjin’s hips rutted against yours once more, pressing the full extent of his hard-on deeper against your already embarrassingly wet underwear. It was enough to break your remaining self-restraint. Still on your tip toes and pressed flush between him and the wall you slid your hands from his hair to his arms, grasping his shoulders and directing him with one decisive push to the bed right next to you. He stumbled a bit and had to let go of your thighs to catch himself on your mattress. You used the moment to settle down on his lap, but instead of moving your legs on either side of his hips you snuck one leg between his. Sinking yourself fully on his lap you inevitably pressed your knee against his crotch. His surprise turned into a groan and his body visibly tensed, even more so when you pressed yourself flush onto his thigh. His thin sweatpants wouldn’t let him feel how wet he had gotten you right away, but there was no way he didn’t feel the heat radiating from your center.

“You wanna ride my thigh?” Hyunjin almost purred, face already buried in your hair again. His breath was a warm whisper on your skin, sending additional shivers ghosting down your spine. You could all but nod in response, not quite managing a full reply when you felt his thigh muscles flex under you. His hands dropped to your waist and while you were grateful he was supporting you he used the hold on you to press you down harder onto him. A hiccupping gasp escaped your lips and the sound palpably fuelled him on. Your hands were clamped down on his shoulders trying to hold yourself afloat while Hyunjin helped you rub yourself along his thigh, delicious pressure soaking your panties and pressing them harder into your skin. You couldn’t fully register your own words, barely comprehending that you were trying to beg for more, faster, saying that you wanted to feel his skin, wanted to feel him, wanted to spread your wetness all over his thigh and mark him as yours, while your words crumbled beneath your harsh gasps and breaths. You hardly even realized that you were clamping down so hard on his shoulders he would probably have marks from your nails on his skin. Your face was pressed into his hair, inhaling the smell that was so unmistakably him, irresistible and enough to make your head spin even when he wasn’t letting you bring yourself close to the edge on his thighs.

Hyunjin was saying something but it took three tries and his hand gripping harder onto your hips until you stopped moving, his muscles flexing right on a spot that made your breath hitch with the slightest movement. He was waiting until you lifted your gaze up to his. Your eyes were so unfocused you had trouble properly looking at him, let alone understand what he was saying until he removed his hands from your hips, easing up from the pressure against your center, opting to hold your face instead, fingertips grazing your jaw. His thumb was running over your bottom lip and you impatiently nipped at it. His control slipped for a moment and a small, raspy moan fell over his lips. You were so desperate for him to let you continue, to stop keeping you right at the edge from tumbling over.

“I want to taste you so bad.” The words finally filtered through and were clenching at the thought of his mouth on you, his plumb lips wrapped around your clit, his tongue inside you. Your nod must have been weaker than you thought because while you had obviously already agreed he wasn’t moving, eyes pleading, his tongue running over those lips you so desperately wanted to feel on every inch of your skin. “Fuck, please let me make you come on my face.”

“God, yes-” you were sure you heard a breathless ‘thank you’ tumble over his lips, hands going to your hips again faster than you could react when you made the slightest notion to get up. Your eyebrows scrunched together in confusion but you caught the smirk sneak onto the edge of his lips, the one that indicated that he wanted to utterly ruin you and he knew you would let him. “No, no, no, kitten, you’re sitting on my face.”

You felt yourself stiffen, uncertainty creeping in because that was something no one had offered to do for you before, but Hyunjin was already pulling at your panties, forcing them down until you had no choice but to slide out of them and let them drop to the floor, completely disregarded. His hands didn’t let up their grasp on your hips and he was steering you up so surely there was no room for you to feel insecure. His black hair was fanning out under him on your bedsheets like a halo, but the way he was looking up at you, corners of his lips pulled up in a devious smirk, tongue wetting them, told you he nothing short of sinful in his mind.

He didn’t give you much time to think about anything else, instead applying enough pressure so you had no choice but to lower yourself so close to his face you felt his breath ghost over your wet center and immediately shuddered. Instead of where you wanted him most he lightly turned his head, pressing a few tentative kissed on the inside of your thigh. You felt yourself relax a bit, realizing that despite how blown out his pupils were, despite how badly he wanted to completely wreck you, he instead held back to make you feel comfortable. The hair from his almost completely undone ponytail kept tickling your skin, his kisses and breath hot and spreading over your skin until you felt the tension leave your muscles and basically melted on top of him. Something between a moan and a gasp sputtered over your lips, embarrassingly loud, when he suddenly bit down into the skin of your thighs hard enough for it to sting. He soothed the bite with a lick, not bothering to smother the chuckle you felt vibrate against your thigh. He didn’t give you another chance to catch your breath before he pressed his lips into your wetness. His tongue followed, darting out kitten licks until you were drawing in heaving breaths. Even without you saying so he knew you needed more, and he was taking his sweet time with licks that barely grazed you enough, testing your self-restraint to press yourself down on his face.

“Hyunjin-“ you mewled his name, a whiny sound that made him hum into you, sending another wave of vibrations that only made you even more impatient. Your hips bucked – only just slightly but it was enough to cause him to reattach his hands to them and still your movements.

“None of that, kitten.” Hyunjin’s voice was a husky and the air hit you leaving you in a wave of shudders. Before you could protest against him restraining you he finally pressed his tongue flat against your wetness and licked. You almost saw stars right then but Hyunjin held you in place, not letting you move away when he licked a few more long stripes up your slit before sucking on your clit with an obscene sound. You would have been embarrassed except you felt your whole body shaking and your mind drew blank. You hadn’t even come yet but you already felt too sensitive to keep yourself upright under Hyunjin’s administrations. He definitely knew what he was doing and he was clearly enjoying watching you fall apart slowly but surely on top of him. His nails were digging into your hips appreciatively, running down your thighs just to feel the goose bumps rising on your skin. You were slumped forward, palms resting on the bed and you were surprised you managed to focus enough not to lean on his hair. You could perfectly see Hyunjin from the angle you were sitting in. His long black hair, sprawled under him. The slight layer of sweat from dancing before but not necessarily only from that. His eyes were focused on yours, an eyebrow raised in challenge while his tongue tipped into you, almost making you lose all focus.

“Oh my fucking god, Hyunjin-“

He only hummed again, making you feel everything even more intensely, and you knew you wouldn’t last much longer.

”I- I’m gonna-“ he dipped his tongue into you again before licking up your wetness and adding pressure to your clit. You shivered harshly, your fingertips burying into the bedding. He flicked his tongue against the sensitive bud again until you were reduced to a gasping, moaning mess on top of him, your thighs held open only by his hands. You were tumbling over the edge but he only kept pushing until you could barely hold yourself upright anymore, a mix of moans and almost sobs wrecking you.

Even moving off his face was a struggle because your legs had been reduced to jelly but Hyunjin was helping, carefully lifting you up and settling you back on his lap. His hard dick straining against his sweatpants was painfully obvious, pressing against your completely drenched center, soaking his pants with a mixture of your juices and Hyunjin’s spit. You were still breathing hard, stars dancing in your vision and blood rushing in your ears but you could feel the tension in his whole body just fine. He was leaning on the bed with one hand, fingers curling into the bedsheets tightly and maybe because your thoughts were still a mess you didn’t really think about much when you leaned in, pressing your lips against his and rolled your hips languidly. The groan resonated against your own mouth and his hands danced from your thighs to the back of your neck, holding you in place while he leaned back. You kept up the movement of your hips, rolling slowly but making sure you applied enough pressure against his crotch to feel him twitch inside his pants. He was so hard it must have been painful and you wanted to see that blissful, fucked out expression on his face again while he came.

“Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum in my pants,” he rasped and you chuckled, responding only by leaning harder on your knees so you could lift yourself up before rutting back against him. His gaze lost focus for a moment before his hand slipped around your neck, thumb brushing over your throat lightly. Your rhythm must have faltered for even the shortest second because his eyebrow pulled up, accompanied by a devilish smirk.

“Don’t tell me you want me to choke you, kitten?”

Even though you were still on his lap, rolling your hips steadily to elicit harsh groans from his throat, dick twitching every time you came in contact with him, he quickly had taken over control from you. You were still weak and riding on your post orgasm high, so sensitive that with every thrust against the material of his pants you shivered.

He sat up straighter, causing you to clamp your legs closer to his thighs and press tightly against him, his hips rutting up into yours. His other hand went to your mouth, thumb running over your lips before the pressure on your throat tightened. Your hips stuttered and you tried to moan, the sound choked by his hand wrapped around your throat.

“God, you’re so fucking pretty.” Hyunjin all but rasped, his crotch now moving against yours in his own rhythm, rutting against you so harshly he was clearly chasing his own high. His gaze was focused on your lips, his hand still tightly wrapped around your throat, cutting off all of your whimpers. “Wanna come in your hand, can you touch me?”

You couldn’t nod, not with the way he was holding tight onto your throat, but you carefully unwrapped your legs to move back on his thighs enough to give yourself space. One hand running down his sticky, sweat drenched shirt until you reached the waistband of his pants. You ran your finger along the hem teasingly, his fingers around your throat clenching shortly and making your eyes flutter. Feeling him strain against his pants you could tell he wouldn’t last much longer so you slipped your hand in, wrapping your fingers around his length delicately. His head basically slumped on your shoulder, mouth pressing against your skin and you could feel his harsh breath, mixed with raspy moans. Applying almost no pressure you ran your hand along his straining cock, tugging a few times until you felt his teeth sink into your shoulder so hard you were sure you would have clear bite marks. He was twitching hard in your hand and you tightened your grip while his around your neck loosened, his focus gone. Warm, sticky liquid was spilling over your hand and soaking his pants when he came, mixing with the wetness you had already left there. Hyunjin was whimpering so deliciously you kept running your fingertips along his length even when he went limp in your grasp. Shivers were wrecking his body and you pulled your hand out of his pants tentatively when you were sure he was so sensitive he couldn’t take any more you ran the hand not covered in his cum through his wet hair, tugging gently until he was looking at you. His lips were swollen and glistening with saliva and what was probably still your juices and his gaze was glazed over. He looked utterly fucked out but you weren’t quite done yet. If this was the last time you’d allow yourself to make this mistake, you might as well make the most of it. Making sure he was still looking at you you raised your hand covered in white spurts of his cum to your mouth, running your tongue along the back of your hand and up your index finger. You twirled around the tip before sucking down and Hyunjin sobbed.

“You’re such a fucking menace,” he rasped out, clearly not minding, but you only responded by humming lengthily, leaving it up to him whether it was a reply or whether you were simply enjoying sucking his cum off your fingers.

For a moment you stayed like that on the edge of your bed, Hyunjin’s hair dishevelled, plumb lips glistening, and it was a sight you did not want to let go of. You wanted to commit it to memory, to fall into bed next to him. You wanted more of his touch, more of his kisses, more of him, not knowing where one ended and the other began. You were half dizzy from how hard he had made you come, sleepy from the exhaustion but you were conscious enough to bite your tongue before you could utter something that would even vaguely indicate that you wanted him to stay. If he noticed he didn’t say so, instead letting his fingertips trace over your legs with an appreciative hum before lifting you up and setting you on the bed, only to trail out of your room without another word, as if his pants weren’t soaked in cum from both of you.

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You woke up feeling miserable. Your thigh and butt muscles were cramping with every movement, but your physical state was the least of all your worries. In fact, you would relish in the knowledge that you felt traces of Hyunjin in every movement, every moment a reminder of how good he had made you feel. You wouldn’t even care that you had overslept and missed your class, if only it meant you could leave your room and kiss Hyunjin good morning knowing you both meant it.

As it was, every single reminder only served to make your lungs constrict until you felt as if you were suffocating. You had known last night. You had known when you had asked him if he considered you friends. Probably already after Hyunjin had told you he would give you a hickey and had sucked on your skin until it turned purple, marking you as his for the first time. You had been sure the night he had been drunk and needy, had pulled you on his lap and didn’t let go of you. Had known that somewhere along those moments your feelings had turned from anticipating the day your arrangement ended to dreading it. A month had seemed incredibly long, but now you only had a pathetically small amount of days left to pretend Hyunjin cared, to imagine what it would be like if he really wanted to be with you.

A few weeks ago the day he would move back out and you could return to your normal life had seemed impossibly far away. Now you were lying on your bed, sunlight falling through the cracks in your shutters and you felt like you were choking. You tried to force the thought from your mind but it was more prominent than anything else: you didn’t want to lose Hyunjin. You wanted to see his smile, the way his cheeks bunched up and his nose scrunched. You wanted to keep kissing him, wanted him to kiss you as if he were drowning in you, to run your hands through his hair, soak up all the small sounds you could elicit from him. At some point in the last month you had fallen in love with Hyunjin. In love. With Hyunjin. Fuck.

You were so utterly, completely fucked. You had told yourself, had told Jisung, that you couldn’t sleep with Hyunjin because if you did you would grow attached, yet you had been so naïve to think that only letting him kiss you, letting him touch you and push you over the edge time and time again would make a difference just because it wasn’t with his dick. You should have stepped away hours ago, when he told you you weren’t friends, you weren’t anything to each other but a convenient fuck, but you let him in again, and all of his little touches were now imprinted on your skin.

Pressing the palms of your hands into your eyes with a frustrated groan you sank back into your bed and grabbed your phone to text the only person you would even remotely trust to lift you back up.

“You look miserable.”

You would have whacked Jisung on the back of his head if you hadn’t known that he was completely right. You had slept very little, only partly because Hyunjin had kept you awake for way too long. After he’d left you had slept fitfully, your chest heavy as if someone was suffocating you. It had physically hurt to wake up in your own bed, alone, every inch of your body remembering the feeling of Hyunjin. You had felt sick upon seeing the bruises littering your neck. You weren’t quite able to completely cover them up, which left little questions for Jisung as to what had happened the night before. So instead of whacking your friend over the head you sank down on the sofa next to him and let your head fall into his lap with a pathetic sob.

Jisung’s hands immediately went to your hair, carding through it with soft touches to calm you down.

“I thought you were kidding when you said it’s an emergency but… I guess you weren’t, huh?” You only sobbed again, fighting the urge to cover your face with your arm. “So are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to, but it hurts.” The thing was, you really didn’t want to tell anyone that you had accidentally fallen in love with Hyunjin, but if there was anyone you would even remotely trust it was Jisung. The aforementioned only waited, uncharacteristically patient, for you to get over your inhibition and start talking.

“You know how friends with benefits never works because someone is bound to catch feelings?” you finally ground out.

“I guess?”

“Yeah.” You didn’t say anything further, thinking that you had already made your point quite clear. The room was draped in silence for the few moments it took Jisung to catch on.

“Oh. Ooooh. Did Hyunjin tell you he’s utterly whipped?”

“What?! No, you idiot, it’s me. I’m the loser who caught feelings.”

“For Hyunjin.”

“No, for you. Obviously for Hyunjin!”

“Right, just making sure. Because every time I see the two of you it’s Hyunjin who’s hanging on your arm or trying to lather your neck with kisses as if there wasn’t at least one other person watching. Not to mention the way he can’t keep his eyes off of you, or the way he marked you so thoroughly no other guy would even think about touching you.” He noted with a glance to your neck that had you blush in embarrassment.

“That’s called being horny, Jisung. He hasn’t gotten laid in a while.”

“Sure.”

You ignored the sarcastic tone, not even considering to let the slightest sliver of doubt of whether Jisung could be right into your heart. You didn’t need to set yourself up for even more disappointment. “I thought that if I don’t sleep with him I would be fine.”

“Wait so… you’re not getting railed by Hyunjin?”

“Ew, Jisung, honestly,” you quipped, sitting up abruptly to look at him with a mask of disgust, glad he managed to distract you and ignore the tears swimming in your eyes for even a moment. “No, I’m not ‘getting railed’ by Hyunjin.” You quoted him with air marks, shaking your head. “I told you every time I do that shit I end up getting hurt, but since I have just about one functioning braincell I thought I would be fine as long as I just didn’t do that. Turns out making me come on his face is also the key to my heart.”

“And you say I’m disgusting.”

“Oh don’t act like a prude, you literally talked about blowjobs with him not a day ago.” His cheeks flushed at the mention of you having walked in on their talk and you were glad he also wanted to drop the topic. “Now can we please focus on the problem at hand.”

“That you want to get railed by Hyunjin?”

This time you did whack him over the head, although he had managed to make you feel a little better already. “Honestly Jisung, why did I even think I should talk about this with you, of all people? The problem is precisely that I don’t want him to just fuck me. I want him to cuddle afterwards, and hold my hand, and kiss me, as if this whole ridiculous relationship wasn’t fake.”

“So you actually fell in love with Hyunjin?”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I fell in love with Hyunjin. I don’t know when it happened, but now that it has I don’t fucking know what to do. I wasn’t even sure if we’re friends. From what I’d gathered he can tolerate me because he wants to fuck. So I asked him and he couldn’t have been clearer on how he feels about me. I’m the fucking idiot who thought he might feel the same, but he doesn’t even like me.”

“Did you listen to anything I said? He can’t even take his eyes off you.” Jisung was looking at you so intently you would have believed him, if it weren’t for evidence of that being decidedly not true. You only huffed, starting to roll the sleeve of your shirt between your fingers to keep them busy.

“I already told you, he wants to fuck. That’s it. There’s no feelings, and certainly no romantic ones.”

“Why don’t you just tell him how you feel before pushing him away and making yourself suffer?”

“Because I just know how ugly things would get. I know he doesn’t want this, doesn’t even want to be friends, so I certainly won’t unnecessarily push it on him.”

“Well if you’re not going to do anything about it, which, by the way, just to emphasize, I think is a horrible idea, then it’s at least good your arrangement is ending in a few days anyway.” Jisung shrugged, his voice the most disapproving tone physically possible.

“It’s ending in two days. But that won’t change the fact that there weren’t any feelings supposed to be involved, and I went and fucked it up. I don’t think I can do this for even another two days.”

“But doesn’t the fact that it’s ending make you feel like shit as well?”

You laughed dryly, agreeing that there was no solution or ending where you wouldn’t come out hurting.

“I feel like complete shit because I don’t want to lose Hyunjin, so whether I lose him today or tomorrow… what difference does it make? Better get it over with asap, right?” Even you yourself could hear the pain laced through your voice at saying those words, but it didn’t change that you knew that this cut was necessary.

“Even if he’d see me as a friend, which he doesn’t, there’s no way I can walk away from what we had and pretend we’re just merely acquainted. I look at him and all I can think about is him, how I want to see him smile, see his eyes sparkle and kiss him until he’s tired of it.”

“Shit, you really got it bad.” Jisung, absolutely unhelpfully, remarked and if you weren’t so completely and utterly defeated you would have punched him again.

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You really were in deep shit. The agreement said a full month, but there was simply no way you could stick to it for even another two hours, let alone two days. Talking to Jisung should have helped, but it ended up having the opposite effect. Instead of feeling better, having a solution in mind, you had only talked yourself into more panic, over dramatized the whole situation to the point where it seemed simply unbearable.

There was no way you could say no to Hyunjin if he wanted to kiss you again, yet you knew what it would do to you, knowing that for you it meant something else entirely than it meant for him. Of course Jisung hadn’t been wrong in saying you should talk to Hyunjin, but he had been wrong in what you should talk about with him. He was also right that it would only get worse the longer you waited. But you wouldn’t be talking to confess your feelings, you would be breaking off the agreement before it went on for any unnecessary minute longer, hopefully making a clean cut that would allow you to get over this stupid infatuation. There was likely no perfect moment to do this, so the faster you got it over with, the faster you could start working on moving on. Even the thought of that made your heart constrict and your steps falter, but you forced yourself through it with deep breaths.

You knew Hyunjin would still be at the practice room right now, so you were making your way there, knowing that at your dorm you would only try to awkwardly avoid him and make the situation infinitely worse. There was only one outcome, no matter what you said to him. You were in love him. He was attracted to you, and that’s where it ended. Even if you listened to Jisung and laid your heart bare for Hyunjin, he could either push you away - although knowing him as well as you thought you now did you didn’t think he would do that - which meant he would do nothing about it, pretend he never found out, and you would have to deal with being around him while your heart felt like it was pierced with needles in your chest.

It could only end in the two of you distancing from each other if you weren’t going to fuck around with Hyunjin anymore. Either scenario ultimately would lead to an end of whatever you had thought you had had with him, and you felt sick at the thought of it.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you only realized you had walked all the way over campus to his practice room faster than you would have liked when you found yourself standing in front of the door. Subdued music flowed through, the same song he had been practicing for the last few days. Before you could back away you decided to forgo knocking and simply push open the door.

Hyunjin didn’t notice you immediately, so you just awkwardly stopped barely past the doorframe, closing it behind you tentatively if only so you wouldn’t look at him instead. He was always the most fatal when he was dancing, and if you watched now your resolve would simply crumble completely. You knew he noticed you the moment the music stopped abruptly and you turned around, startled. He seemed equally as rattled, eyebrows scrunched together in confusion as to what you were doing in the studio, probably. It gave you unnecessary time to take him in, from the basketball shorts to the sweat glistening on his collarbones to the half bun holding his hair up.

You opened your mouth, but no sound came out so you took another breath which ended up more in a panicked gasp. This wasn’t going well, not at all. You tried again, but instead you ended up pressing your hand to your chest, frantically drawing in air. Panic was rising up, bubbling up in your throat and you felt like the breath was being robbed from your lungs, anxiety so prominent you were rendered utterly frozen.

“Hey, hey, hey, breathe.” Hyunjin’s steady voice came from next to you, his hand calmingly rubbing the small of your back and you realized you hadn’t even noticed him crossing the room to walk up to you. You let him guide you towards the other site of the studio, to where his bag was thrown in the corner next to the sound station and watched him fish for his water bottle while you tried to focus on simply breathing. You gratefully took the water, drinking measured gulps until you felt calm enough to step away from Hyunjin, knowing that every contact with him would only work against you.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?” He still sounded worried and it was breaking you down even further.

“I- . No, nothing happened. I’m sorry for worrying you. I just- I need to talk to you.”

You could see the confusion clearly written all over his face but having said as much, leaving yourself no way out, gave you enough courage to go on. “We need to talk. I think-“ you took another breath, forcing yourself to say the words that left you feeling cold with dread. “I think that we should break up. Not in two days, now.”

You watched an array of emotions ripple over his face, too fast for you to identify all of them, but you could clearly see the still present confusion.

“Did I do something wrong? I thought we were on the same page about. You know. What we were doing.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Hyunjin. But we’re not on the same page, at least not anymore. I don’t want to unnecessarily drag this out for another two days. It won’t make much of a difference at this point, so if it’s all the same to you I’d like for us to stop pretending now, rather than later. I think it’s better if we got some distance between us as fast as possible.”

You were rather proud of yourself for delivering the words that felt like a stab to your chest as stable as you had.

“Okay.”

His voice was impossible to read. You tried telling yourself that what you heard most from it was not indifference, but it was hard not to think that with how utterly lacking of any emotion it was. “I can move all my stuff out within the next day if I get Felix and Minho to help me.”

You had been very wrong. He wasn’t indifferent. He was angry, and the coldness lacing through his words went straight to your heart. But this was better, pushing him away was better than confessing and being pushed away by him, right?

You weren’t looking at him anymore now, staring at the floor instead, unable to say something, or to walk away. The silence settling over the room was more than uncomfortable and you should have just turned around and walked out, but you couldn’t physically bring yourself to do so. As soon as you left that would be it. You would have pushed him away so coldly and thoroughly there would be no coming back from this – he would only dislike you even more than he already did, but you kept telling yourself that was for the best. Leave no window to hope for anything between the two of you, when you already knew there couldn’t be anyway.

“I don’t get it. You came on my face last night and barely twenty four hours later you can’t stand to see me, don’t fucking tell me ‘it’s not you, it’s me’. Could at least give me the courtesy of telling me why.”

He didn’t outright spit the words at you, but the anger was still clearly audible and you couldn’t blame him. Even without wanting things to ever come to this, you had become just another person to hurt him, and the realization was the last push that made the tears swimming in your eyes flow freely.

“I- I’m such a fucking idiot.” You sobbed out, stepping away when he attempted to wrap his arms around you despite the fact that he probably truly despised you at this point. He was just that good of a person. “Please don’t touch me.”

You took a few barely subdued sobs, grateful that despite the fact that Hyunjin would have every right to simply kick you out, he waited. You had wanted a clean cut, but now that you couldn’t keep your tears in any longer, it seemed like all barriers had broken, and the words flowing from your mouth couldn’t be stopped.

“Remember the last point on our list?”

“Staying committed for a month?”

“Not that one. The one I- I added afterwards.”

“No catching feelings- Oh.”

“I’m so, so sorry,” you heaved out again, your sobs wrecking your whole body because now he knew, and you felt utterly pathetic. There was no way to take back what you had just put out there. Hyunjin knew you had fallen for him, head over heels, hadn’t managed to keep simple fucking apart from actually liking each other like a pathetic, love-sick puppy.

“I thought I could keep feelings out of this because we could barely stand each other anyways but- … I was wrong. I don’t expect anything from you. You made it quite clear that if we weren’t getting each other off, we wouldn’t even be friends. So you don’t have to worry about me sticking around and making you feel uncomfortable. I won’t. All I’m asking is that we stop this whole ridiculous relationship thing because every moment that this goes on it hurts.”

You still weren’t looking at Hyunjin, instead staring at the floor and angrily wiping at the tears staining your cheeks, so you couldn’t tell how he was reacting to your confession, and you weren’t sure you wanted to know. It also meant that you didn’t realize he was closing the distance between you despite your earlier shrinking away from him until his hand was gently lifting your chin. He wasn’t holding you in place but you also didn’t step away fast enough before you realized he was kissing you. The kiss was mostly wet because your tears had coated your lips, but he was unperturbed, pressing his own soft, plumb lips against yours. You were completely rigid, neither reciprocating nor stepping away, even though you knew you should. Even with his lips barely touching yours your chest was aching for this feeling.

“What’s wrong?” His words were barely a murmur and he didn’t lean away, letting his lips brush against yours with every word. You closed your eyes, forcing away the urge to lean back in and simply let him kiss all the hurt away. It wasn’t right.

“Please don’t do this to me, Hyunjin. I already told you I like you. I was serious. I don’t want to kiss you and not have it mean anything.” Forcing those words out you finally stepped away from him just enough to not feel his lips against yours anymore, still unable to look him in the eyes. “What we had was good, I know that. I don’t think anyone has ever made me come as hard as you did, but every time I let you touch me I know it’s all a lie. It’s attraction without anything behind it and I just can’t do that anymore.”

“You really are an idiot.”

The words startled you, despite the softness in his voice, enough that you finally looked at him. The same softness from his voice was reflected in his eyes, no trace of the anger they held before and you were too shocked and confused to step back when he laid his hand on your cheek, tracing your bottom lip with his thumb. “Yes, it’s attraction, of course it is. God I can’t believe you’re beating yourself up about that conversation, instead of just talking to me.” You wanted to protest that you were talking to him right now, but you were too glued to his words, not quite able to quench the fluttering of your heart. “You asked if I would want to be friends even if it meant I wouldn’t get to touch you anymore. God, you’re so beautiful when you’re fucked out on top of me. I don’t want to be just friends, but if casual hook-ups are all I can have, well of course I was disappointed thinking you don’t even want that anymore.”

He paused, looking at you so intently you could barely comprehend what he was saying. You had been beating yourself up over a misunderstanding. Even worse, Jisung had been right again.

Hyunjin clearly was waiting for you to react, but you couldn’t possibly fathom how, not when you barely dared to believe that his words really meant what you thought they did.

“I’m such a fucking idiot,” was all you could press out, a mere whisper of disbelieve at the whole situation, tears still coating your cheeks as a reminder.

Hyunjin chuckled, airy and light and utterly heart-wrecking because you were so crazy in love with him.

“Yes, you really are. Every time you’re around me, there is literally nothing and no one else I can think about. I constantly want to kiss you.” He added just the smallest peck at the corner of your mouth for emphasis. “I think about running my hands up your legs”, you couldn’t suppress a small shiver when you felt his fingertips on your skin, tracing up your thighs and along the hem of your skirt. “I don’t just want those things because you’re beautiful. I can’t get you out of my mind, and the thought of you not feeling the same way was killing me. The thought that we had a due date was leaving me desperate to kiss you again and again just so I wouldn’t forget what it feels like. You think you like me? I thought I made it clear enough that you have me wrapped around your finger.”

You must have looked ridiculous the way you were staring at him, eyes wide open, your heart beating so hard he surely must have been able to hear it.

“You like me?” was the completely idiot thing your mind managed to come up with, causing him to chuckle again warmly.

“Why else do you think I was happily content with begging for mere scraps for weeks when the thought of you was enough to drive me crazy?”

“To be quite honest, I thought you’re just a big sub sometimes,” you stuttered dumbfoundedly, subconsciously falling back in your banter even though your mind was still trying to process his words. Hyunjin liked you. You spent hours worrying about losing him, when all the while he was keeping the very same thoughts to himself.

“Well yeah, I am. Now will you please let me kiss you because it’s costing me all my self-control not to.”

You crashed your lips into his before he could even react, not as soft and tentative as before, because now your kisses were filled with an entirely different desperation. You didn’t need to hold back anymore, and you definitely didn’t need to guard your heart around Hyunjin, and now that you knew you were greedy.

Your kisses matched his in desperation, and his hands were wandering frantically as if he couldn’t decide where to touch you first. He was carding them through your hair, tangling the strands, before running his fingertips all the way from your shoulders to your legs, finally settling on your ass and pushing your closer to him with a rough grasp.

You were holding onto his shoulders, relishing in the feeling of knowing just how much he wanted you. You were stumbling, his hands on your ass forcing you with him until his back hit the mirror, a hiss falling over his lips at the contact of his heated skin with the cold surface. You used the moment to move your lips to his jaw instead. The little nips you left made him shudder, but once you pressed a small, open-mouthed kiss to his neck he completely lost all restraint. His guttural groan seemed even louder in the empty room, his hand running from your hips up your side, taking your shirt with it. His fingertips were tracing your ribcage first, trailing up to the underside of your breast, ready to tease you. You were only wearing a thin bra which barely subdued the feeling of his warm skin on yours. A soft mewl mixed with kisses to his neck fell over your lips at the prospect of his fingers teasing your breasts and it was enough for him to wrap his hand over your breast, cupping you with his palm. You arched your back, craving more friction against your sensitive nipples and he quickly slipped the strap of your bra down your shoulders, letting your tits spill out.

He was drawing small circles with his fingertip over the now exposed skin, watching your nipples harden even at the smallest touches. Your kisses on his neck faltered, sloppy when he pinched your nipple between two fingers, the sting shooting straight to your core. Your reaction only fuelled him on, hand gently pressing you back so you were arching more into him, his lips dropping to the soft flesh over your tits. His kisses were wet, more tongue than anything else, twirling around your nipple before he wrapped his lips around it and started sucking. You almost came on the spot, nails digging into his skin, a shower of breathless moans spilling into the room when he sucked harder, his teeth dragging lightly over your nipple. It was almost too much, your skin tingling and your legs shaking already, and you did not want to come already, not before he was inside you.

Forming words was impossible when he was lavishly sucking your tits, so instead you carded your fingers through his hair, pulling him away from you, a groan falling over his lips when you meshed them back with yours.

“Want you so bad.”

You felt the words against your lips more than you heard them. He was already sucking on your bottom lip, leaving you no option to reply. You could only nod, hoping he understood what you were trying to say. You can have me.

The tingling sensation from the air hitting the wet skin of your tits was so distracting your barely noticed Hyunjin’s hand wasn’t caressing you anymore until you felt it slip under the edge of your skirt and inch up your thighs until he could draw along the hem of your panties. You wiggled away enough to give him space and shove them down your legs. It was enough encouragement for you to do the same, your hands grasping at his clothes until he was pressed against the mirror in only his boxers, your hands free to roam over his chest and stomach, appreciating the lean lines of muscle from years of dancing. He was already covered in a sheen layer of sweat from before, skin glistening so invitingly you wanted to lick a stripe down to the V-shaped lines vanishing in his underwear, but the wetness pooling between your legs and sticking to your thighs was too present for you to get distracted. You wanted to feel all of him and you wanted him to wholly unwind you.

His hands didn’t stop, inching your skirt up on your waist until he could take an appreciative look at your basically naked form. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen before but somehow it was still different now.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.”

His voice was low and pained, as if looking at you physically strained him because he needed more. Your hands on the line of his boxers were enough indication of what both of you wanted and with one swift move he had them shoved down and spun you around so your back hit the cold mirror. The contrast made you gasp sharply and you caught the amused chuckle on Hyunjin’s face at your reaction.

“What’s so funny?” you huffed, trying not to sound too breathless because it would invalidate the cockiness of your words. Hyunjin only replied by peppering more sloppy kisses over your neck and chest, sucking your nipple until you were desperately trying to get him to kiss you again.

You knew he was trying to be considerate, trying not to be too impatient, but you had already given him the okay, and you desperately wanted him to fill you up. The feeling of his length against your thigh, a wet patch of precum prominent, knowing how close he was to where you wanted him most, was nothing short of torture. Wrapping one leg around his waist you rolled your hips into his, coating his length in your wetness and it was enough to wipe the smirk of his face and replace it with a groan instead.

“You sure about this?”

“God, yes, Hyunjin. Just fuck me alrea-“ You didn’t even get to finish the sentence before he pushed into you, stretching your walls. The slight sting of being stretched only added to the pleasure and you moved against him impatiently. He readily obliged, both of his hands grabbing for your thighs and holding you up between him and the mirror when he pushed into you. The feeling made you throw your head back, eyes fluttering shut while he kept shoving himself into you. You were sure there was no feeling more perfect than the way Hyunjin was fitting inside you, stretching your walls. He didn’t fully pull out before pushing back in, pressing your back into the mirror again and again, covering it in slick sweat. You were in too much bliss to care.

“Please look at me,” Hyunjin pressed out, his words a rush of breathless whispering and you tried to oblige, dragging your gaze to his. His pupils were dark and fully blown out, want and desire oozing so strongly it made you shiver around him. You raked your hand into his hair, kissing him again while trying to meet his thrusts as well as you could. A feeling of fullness, hot and heady was building up in your stomach and you knew you wouldn’t last long.

“Fuck, Hyunjin, I-“ you didn’t manage a full sentence, but he seemed to understand anyways.

“Baby, I want you to ride me.” The words didn’t fully register until his hand was on your cheek, his thumb pressing down on your bottom lip to get your attention. You nipped at it, darting your tongue out and you felt him twitch inside you, a low groan rumbling from his chest. “Fuck, please ride me.”

You slipped your tongue around his thumb once more before pressing a sloppy kiss to his lips and unwrapping your legs to stand on wobbly feet. He slipped out of you and you almost whined at the loss of being so deliciously full. But he only dragged you down with him instead, settling you on his lap and leaving you to sink down on him at your own speed. You revelled in the feeling, slowly letting his length stretch you again until you were fully seated, feeling him deep inside you. With his hands running up your thighs you started moving again, quickly gaining speed until you drew the most delectable moans from Hyunjin.

The sounds were only spurring you on, your hands braced next to his head, watching him as he was trying to hold your gaze. You could tell he was close to tumbling over the edge, his thigh muscles flexing and his dick twitching inside you. His hips were stuttering to meet yours and you clenched, watching with satisfaction as a harsh shudder ran through his body and he came with a mix of moans and gasps tumbling over his lips. His hand, shaking, ran up your thigh until his thumb found your clit and the added pressure combined with the shudders wreaking his body while he was emptying himself into you was enough to push you over the edge as well. You were gasping his name, broken sounds tumbling over his lips while he was snapping his hips into you, trying to prolong your orgasm until you were both gasping for breath. Your cheek was resting on his chest, your arms too weak to support you any longer and you heard his heart beating under your ear, erratic and fluttering.

You were too comfortable too move, to fucked out to worry about someone walking in on you snuggled on Hyunjin’s lap, his dick going soft inside you, his cum trickling down your thighs. His hand was drawing small circles on your back, eliciting goose bumps all over your skin.

“I can’t believe you broke rule number eight, nine, and unspoken rule number ten.” Hyunjin purred, breaking the comfortable silence, his hand slipping from your back to your ass, groping you in a way that made a whimper fall over your lips. You were way too sensitive, especially when he was still inside you, making you feel so deliciously full.

“What’s unspoken rule number ten?” you mumbled, your words muffled because your mouth was pressed against his neck, loving the way your breath made him shiver in the most delectable way.

“No sex?”

You chuckled, carding your fingers through his hair and lazily sitting up enough so you could look at him.

“What a stupid rule, why did you set that up?” you teased, a grin sneaking onto your face.

“Did I ever tell you, you’re a brat.” It wasn’t the first time he called you that, but the way he was looking at you, adoring, as if you were the most precious thing he’d ever seen, didn’t fail to make your walls clench around his dick, causing him to spasm at the feeling.

“Oh, I know,” you purred, rolling your hips in time with him as you felt him getting hard inside you again. “How about we go back to our dorm and rip that stupid list off the door? Nope-“ you stopped him when he opened his mouth, ready to protest. “We’re not fucking here again. I’ll be a good girl and walk the whole way back with your cum dripping down my legs-“ you lifted yourself off his lap, semi hard dick slipping out of you and despite your best efforts you didn’t quite manage to stop the white stickiness from dripping down the inside of your legs, warm on your skin. “-so you can lick it off and fuck me until I can’t talk back anymore.”

#skz #stray kids #stray kids smut #hyunjin #hyunjin smut #Skz smut #it overrrrr #i hope you guys liked it!!!!!

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puppy-byun · 3 years ago

Text

No Catching Feelings | Part 4; M

pairing: Hyunjin x Reader

rating: 18+

word count: 10.2k

genre: smut / enemies to lovers / fake dating / semi social media au

warnings: it gets a bit wild here, blowjob, lots of pda, cursing!, bitch fights, language!!!!, heavy making out, yn is hornier than hyunjin in this one, some angst, spitting kink, they're once again very messy i apologize, it's a bit nasty, pet names

I’m putting an extra tw here for mention of very dubious consent!!!!! It’s nothing descriptive or in depth, it is mentioned in barely one sentence and it’s also not completely non consensual, but just in case you are triggered easily by things like these I’m putting the warning out there!

disclaimer: English is not my native language, you know the drill... @bangchans-bitch helped out massively with this part again, i honestly appreciate that so much 💖💖

taglist: @geniejunn @changbinscypher @anythingrelatingtojinyoung @imhyvnjin @ninjaleeknow @babyracha97@vantxx95 @minaamhh @heiroftragedy @enhardhours @lacy-loo @helwegen @caratinylyfe @danyxthirstae01 @19yearsmemories

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“So, what kind of party is this anyway?“

Two days ago you had woken with Hyunjin’s hands down your underwear, and not a few hours ago you had been trying to explain to Jisung why exactly you couldn’t indulge in how good Hyunjin made you feel. You were already walking down a road that might just be the biggest mistake you could possibly make. But you also couldn’t deny that it felt good. That he made you feel good. Obviously he was quite capable of making you feel physically good, and if his fingers were any indication, you didn’t even want to entertain the thought of anything more than that. Because thinking about him between your legs, his mouth on you, him inside you, filling you up and pressing you into the mattress with his own weight on top of you… if your thoughts kept going down that lane you would no doubt have woken Hyunjin up solely by how wet you got.

Instead, you had carefully removed his hand from your underwear and stolen back into your own bed before he could wake up and realized the way too intimate position you had woken up in. Or initiate anything that came even close to repeating what you had done the night before.

Yes, Hyunjin physically made you feel good, but despite the constant bickering and banter you realized that somehow he also made you feel comfortable and safe, and that was another train of thought you definitely did not want to go down. So instead you had tried to keep your distance as well as you could in a way he wouldn’t immediately notice. You didn’t actually mind spending time with him, your bickering having indeed turned in something that came closer to your own way of flirting rather than actually wanting to be mean to each other. You couldn’t quite pinpoint how or when that had happened, but every time Hyunjin was nagging or saying something that would have driven you up the walls, it now just didn’t hit quite so personally. There was little to no malicious intent from either of you behind the things you were saying to each other, but also less reason to even say them in the first place. It seemed like kissing Hyunjin had also made him more inclined to ignore the mess you liked living in, but it also motivated you to clean at least a bit more. Shortly put, bickering had become fun, where it used to have an entirely more hurtful motivation before.

You hadn’t quite managed to avoid ending up seated on the kitchen counter, him standing between your legs and his tongue down your throat. Hyunjin’s hand had slipped under your shirt, his fingers toying with your nipples until he had you moaning, head leant back to give him access to your neck. The bites he left would surely bruise, spreading from your jaw to the soft flesh of your breasts, and when he sucked one of your nipples into his mouth through your shirt you had accidentally knocked over the dirty dishes and broken a bowl. It had at least saved you from having to gather the self-restraint to stop, but it only made staying away from him even harder.

Now you were standing in your room, door open so you could still talk to Hyunjin in the living room without having to shout, trying to find a look for that one party you had conscripted yourself to attending with him.

“I don't know? It's a party, what do you mean ‘what kind’?“

You rolled your eyes, tempted to go over into the living room just to whack him over the head. “If a party were just a party I would have shown up to prom in sweatpants. I want to know if I have to dress all fancy.”

“Right, I forgot you’re real classy,” you heard Hyunjin snort, the sounds drawing closer as he was clearly walking over to your room. You spun to fix him with a glare before he could actually cross the threshold.

“Know your limits, boy,” you chided, your hand held out in his direction to stop him before he got any ideas. “Remember, my private space.“

You were more joking than serious, waving that same hand around to indicate you meant your room. You watched the way Hyunjin stuck his tongue out at you and stepped one foot into the room just to spite you, before his focus strayed from your face down to your rather revealing top, paired with a flattering skirt that you knew made your legs look amazing.

To his credit, he didn't linger, keeping up the ruse of simply assessing your outfit for propriety. He was definitely not dressed too fancy, but clearly had made an effort. Washed-out, light blue jeans were hugging his legs tightly, accentuating his thighs and if you hadn't seen him walk around in those pants on at least three previous occasions you might have lost your mind right there and then. He always tended to wear rather loose tops, but he had intentionally left the first three buttons of his black shirt open today and it hung unashamedly low so both of his collarbones were exposed. You had to root yourself to the spot not to walk over and run your fingers down the exposed skin.

To make matters worse, he had opted for a subtle but definitely there amount of eyeliner and the complimenting eyeshadow that made his gaze even more intense. While he was usually already arresting, there was no way you could look away from him tonight. You felt almost relieved that some dancing or one scandalous kiss was on both of your to-do-list for tonight, even though you were pretty sure at this point you both had done a far better job of convincing people you were together than either of you would have expected.

But you were worried that if you did not hold a tight grip on yourself and, despite your initial intentions, stayed sober, you would probably find yourself in bed with Hyunjin by the end of the night. You were past lying to yourself that you didn't want that. But precisely because of moments like falling asleep while cuddling after what should have only been him fingering you, because every time you looked at him you had to fight the urge to tangle your fingers in his soft hair and kiss him until his lips were beautifully plush just because of you, because of that you knew you had to keep your distance. You already knew that if you didn’t keep a tight grip on yourself and kept yourself in check you were more attached than you knew you should be. You could not afford to spiral down further that path and get hurt eventually.

“This will do just fine,” he ripped you out of your thoughts and you scrambled for a moment for what you had been talking about before you realized it was about your outfit.

“'This will do just fine'?” you echoed with a scoff. “Gee, thanks Hyunjin, you really know how to make a girl feel wanted.”

He just laughed, running his hand through his infuriatingly perfect hair and shrugged.

“You know exactly just how much I want you.” His words conveyed a lot more than simply what he had said, and you if you asked him to elaborate it would end in his hands up your skirt or worse, so you forced yourself to not go down that road. You couldn't guess whether he noticed your struggle or not, but the moment passed when he nodded towards your dresser.

“Do you have fishnets?” Your eyebrows drew together in confusion but you nodded in confirmation hesitantly. “Put them on for me?” And with that, he was out the door.

You did put the fishnets on in the end, even though they were uncomfortable in your shoes. It was worth the double-take Hyunjin did when you had joined him in the living room, ready to leave. You didn't need to check to know he could barely take his eyes off you, and it did indeed feel better and more empowering than any compliment could have made you feel. His hand was wrapped around your waist all the way from your dorm room across campus, keeping you close to his side.

“Hwang Hyunjin, you're staring,” you chided without any kind of malice, because quite frankly, if it was him he could stare all he wanted.

“You can't hold me accountable,” he defended himself, nuzzling his face in your hair in the process, ghosting his breath over your neck. The gesture was almost familiar by now, and you decided you could allow yourself to simply enjoy the feeling and not think about anything else it implicated for at least tonight. “You're testing my self-control even when you're slouching on the sofa with your ratty pyjamas, what do you expect me to do when you walk around in a skimpy shirt and freaking fishnets.” You swatted him on the arm, trying to hold back a laugh and feign exasperation instead.

“First of all, you asked me to put these on so this is hardly my fault. Secondly, my pyjamas are not ratty, you asshat!” He only chuckled and you knew that he enjoyed this banter just as much as you did, while there was little to no malicious intent behind it at this point. “Honestly though, they're not ratty. They're really comfortable, and I don't live in my own dorm to please you. If I weren't contractually obliged to kiss you your evening would be looking quite sad now.”

“Oh, really now?”

“Right, I forgot, you have a never ending offer of girls willing to fall to their knees for you and worship the ground you walk on.”

“Actually, what I meant was that there is one particular girl, I don't know, my girlfriend or something-”

“Fake girlfriend.”

“Anyways. Fake girlfriend, or something, who was screaming my name and begging me to make her come just a few nights ago and then snuck out of my bed thinking I was still asleep when she woke up dripping wet, only to continue pretending she doesn't have the same urge to kiss me stupid that I have around her.”

So he had noticed. You cringed a little, embarrassed that you had not been as subtle as you had thought when you had snuck back to your own room, even more embarrassed that he had apparently noticed what you were trying to do the last days. How was he so good at reading you?

“You're insufferable,” you stated instead, opting to ignore every single statement he had just uttered that utterly exposed you.

“Says you, with that attitude?”

“Let's just get this party over with and hope I don't drop-kick you halfway through.”

The party was, as it turned out, your typical campus party. You didn't really expect anything else and you were glad because this, at least, you were familiar with, even if you knew next to no one from the dance department. The last time you had gone to one of their parties, solely for Jisung’s sake, you had been there to talk to Hyunjin. You hadn’t talked to anyone else back then, and you still didn’t know any of Hyunjin’s friends other than Jisung until tonight.

He had introduced you to friends from his major right after supplying you with a drink that might as well get you shit-faced in the span of thirty minutes, and judging by how your last days around Hyunjin had played out when you were sober you didn't really trust yourself drunk, so you had politely been nipping at the same cup for the last hour. You would be lying to say you weren't having a good time.

Felix, a blonde guy with a mesmerizing constellation of freckles splayed on the bridge of his nose and his cheeks had welcomed you with open arms, teasing you only shortly about how you had convinced Hyunjin to go out with you, which you'd thwarted with a few awkward chuckles. The other guy, Minho, brown hair and cat eyes, had been a bit more reserved but turned out hilarious and you had quickly caught on to the mischievous glint in those pretty eyes as soon as he'd gotten more comfortable around you. They were both great company, keeping you from feeling bored or lost at a party where you knew virtually no one and tried your best to stay sober.

That plan had worked just fine up until the moment one of Hyunjin's seniors from his major had (very drunkenly) demanded a dance off to the ‘classics of the most important movie of all of history’, which meant you were left to yourself by Hyunjin, Felix and Minho in favour of them freestyling to High School Musical's ‘I Don't Dance’.

It was completely idiotic and it was hilarious. Not having cared much about Hyunjin before Jisung had played evil matchmaker you had never really paid the dance department and specifically your fake boyfriend much attention, but now that you witnessed them going all out while (at least some of them) were completely wasted and the crowd was alternating between whooping and bellowing the lyrics you had to admit that even that was utterly enthralling. Especially when it came to Hyunjin. It wasn't just because he was pretty. There was something about the way he moved that was so completely and wholly captivating you couldn't look away. Hyunjin had a gracefulness and ease to his movements that made watching him so very delectable that you silently vowed to come pick him up from practice early in the future, just so you could maybe sneak a peek at him dancing.

It was quite obvious that he wasn’t just captivating your full attention, because it seemed like every time he stepped onto the dancefloor, everyone’s focus was drawn to him like to a

magnet. You could hardly blame them. He was absolutely irresistible. He demanded attention in a way that made it impossible not to concede and focus on him, and him only.

“Oh god, he's so hot...“ the words came from a voice you didn't know and filtered through the music without a problem considering how unashamedly loud the girl had said them.

Granted, they wouldn't reach Hyunjin, who was undoubtedly her topic of conversation, and everyone else probably agreed if they heard.

A small smile grazed your lips. She was right, he was hot. If this was what all the girls that he was trying to curve were seeing at the half-annual performance of the dance department...well, no surprise they were going crazy over him. You hadn't even seen him dance when you had already started going crazy over him.

“I can't believe this random girl managed to land someone like him.”

Oh. Well, now things were getting interesting. You could easily see their point of view: you were basically that 'random girl' because you had not been following him on any social media platform prior to your relationship, and you had never been in contact with him except once a few years ago. These girls spent so much time devoted to Hyunjin's life, if you had been involved in any way they would have stumbled upon you eventually. But you had shown up seemingly out of the blue, making Hyunjin see heart eyes. It couldn't be further from the truth, but to them that's what it must have looked like, and it would obviously incite some jealousy.

“I can't believe she's his type. Did you see her Instagram? He's so… He's perfect.”

And she's really not. They didn't have to say it, you knew where that sentence was leading. So maybe you were not as talented or not as beautiful as Hyunjin, although who even was? Certainly not these girls, clearly thinking they were better than you. And just because your relationship with Hyunjin technically wasn't real didn't mean it couldn't have been, right?

Sure, you were only dating right now because he needed a ploy to seem unavailable and because Jisung had arranged it this way. And you had not even gotten along not only prior to the arrangement, but also through the first weeks of it. Were you even truly getting along now? You hadn't really thought about this until now.

You were attracted to each other, that much was certain, and there was a crazy amount of tension between the two of you. But that attraction had only boiled over into action when you had been close to killing each other, so had it really just stemmed from frustration? If you weren't driving each other up the walls, would you still want him as much you did now? Even worse, would he still find you as tempting as he currently did? Would he still pull you on his lap while you were watching TV, as if it was the most natural thing to do? Would he still press you against the kitchen counter, lips moving down your neck and his hands gripping your hips hard enough to leave bruises and hold you in place just to tease you?

With a dreadful feeling making itself known in the pit of your stomach you realized that you weren't sure. These girls might as well be right, and you didn't quite know what to do with that realization.

You had stuck to your resolution to stay sober until this moment, but now you were convinced two drinks over the course of the night really couldn't hurt, so you made your way towards the bar. Suddenly it wasn‘t quite as difficult to tear your eyes away from Hyunjin.

What you should have realized though was that someone walking away from him while he was dancing would actually draw attention, attention you hadn't drawn to yourself before, and the second you had your drink in hand and turned away from the bar you were faced with the same two girls who had watched Hyunjin dance and made those comments about you. Now they clearly recognized who you were.

“Hi?” you started tentatively, unsure what they were expecting of you, or why they had even followed you. You weren't sure whether they were laughing about you or whether they were giggling like that because they found you funny (either way it was definitely because they were very drunk) but they both grabbed your arms and dragged you over to the couches at the other end of the room. Technically they were trying to pull you down with them but they were half falling and you almost spilled your freshly acquired drink all over yourself.

“You have to tell us everything!” one of them immediately quipped up, completely disregarding your personal space. That would have been fine if you were drunk, but sober it was a bit disconcerting. Even more so considering they hadn't even asked your name but went for blood right away.

“Yes, every little detail please!”

Obviously, you knew what they were talking about, but you weren't ready to give them what they wanted quite so easily.

“What do you mean? Do we even know each other?”

They both giggled again as if you had said something hilarious and you took a generous sip from your cup. This right there was the reason why you preferred to get drunk with Jisung, Chan and Changbin alone. They started weird impromptu rap battles and when they were especially drunk they had once tried to scale down the walls of your dorm building to test who of them was 'the ultimate Spiderman', but it was preferable to this awkward conversation you found yourself forced into.

“Of course not, silly, but since we're all pretty much in love with Hyunjin, you know…”

“You just have to feed us some spicy details, you're right at the source!”

“Let me get this right, you want me to tell you...what exactly?” You decided to not even ponder on the way the other girl had casually said that you were 'all in love with Hyunjin'. Their love was vastly different from how his girlfriend would love him, and even more so from what you felt about him – something you had decided just earlier tonight you would not think about.

“Is he a good kisser?”

“How do his lips feel?”

“They look soooooo pretty, I bet he could make you quiver just with his kisses...”

“And the way he can move...”

“How did you convince him to go out with you?”

“Honestly though, I've tried everything short of just straight-up kissing him and he always declined.”

“Did you give him head? Because he didn't really seem interested when I offered that at a faculty party last year...”

Before you realized you had finished your entire drink and you felt sick, but you were positively sure it wasn't because of the alcohol. You had seen girls flock around Hyunjin on campus, and you had seen them all over his Instagram, but you had not yet heard them talk. You were suddenly glad he could not hear them talk like that right now so it couldn’t hurt him. Yes, these girls were drunk. But the fact that they thought it was okay to talk like this in front of his girlfriend, even in their drunk state, was downright despicable. You weren't his real girlfriend, but they did not know that.

Talking about Hyunjin was one thing, as was fawning over him. But the things they mentioned – offering him blowjobs, considering to just walking up to him and kissing him? That was far from okay, and it made you sick to your stomach.

You and Hyunjin didn't exactly have an established relationship either, but everything you did and had done had been completely consensual. There was just a whole universe of difference between him grinding himself onto you and getting himself hard when you had already established that you both wanted this, even though you shouldn't. It was a whole other thing if this happened with strangers.

The way they considered themselves in love with him, yet only appreciated how hot he was, when Hyunjin actually was so much more than a pretty face. Of course first impressions were important but what these girls were doing, completely objectifying him and thinking it was okay, oblivious to how upsetting this was for you… You jumped up with a start, rattling them out of their word-vomiting.

“I have to go get another drink,” you stated, and when you saw they were about to at least try and get up you held out your hand to stop them. “Alone,” you emphasized, ignoring the looks they were giving you. You couldn't, however, ignore their words, so you tried simply walking away with brisk steps, but it seemed that they were at least as upset as you were, although for vastly different reasons. You only wanted to find Hyunjin and hopefully get him to agree to leave, or at least get rid of these girls because they hopefully would have at least some decency around him. Spotting him sitting on a lounge chair surrounded by Felix, Minho and a couple other people you didn’t know you strode towards them with certain steps, only to be stopped by someone harshly pulling you back by your shoulder, forcing you to turn around.

“What's wrong with you? Do you think just because he’s your boyfriend that gives you the right to gatekeep him?”

You had to take a deep breath just so you wouldn't completely explode on them. You were well aware that if either of you raised your voice not only would you cause a scene, but Hyunjin would most likely hear, so you tried to keep yourself moderately calm considering the circumstances.

“Gatekeep my boyfriend? Come again?”

“Well that's what you're doing, or what would you call it?” Suddenly their words were way more stable than they had been moments before, drunkenness exchanged for venom, volume raised enough to make you cringe. Hyunjin would definitely be catching their words soon enough. “You think you're someone just because you're the one girl he allowed to sit on his dick.“

That was the final straw that made you lose all of your patience.

“He‚ allowed me to sit on his dick’? You want to know about his sex life? Fine. Listen well, honey, because this is probably more exciting than anything you could conjure up in your pathetic wet dreams about him. He’s the one begging me to let him touch me. He wants me so fucking bad he didn’t even care if he could get off or not! Hyunjinmakes me so fucking good you can’t even possibly imagine and I hope you choke on the knowledge that you will never, ever get to feel those things because I, a ‘pathetic’ girl, actually care enough to treat him better than to completely objectify him.”

When your word vomiting finally stopped you realized a few things. First, the way the two girls were looking at you was more than satisfying. They looked downright murderous, and if you didn’t have a decent amount of alcohol in you you might have worried about them actually being ready to rip your hair out. As it was you only felt accomplished. Someone had to tell them, and since Hyunjin wouldn’t it had to come down to you eventually.

The second thing you realized was that you had gotten quite loud and at some point people had noticed, the music had died down to silent background noise and everyone within proximity was listening. And lastly, which was probably the worst part, you had talked yourself in such a frenzy that you had said a few things you wished you hadn’t, especially not when you were sure Hyunjin had heard you say them too. You hadn’t lied, and you weren’t embarrassed to talk about how he made you feel physically because he knew damn well anyway, but whether he was comfortable having you expose something so intimate was another matter entirely.

You whipped around, looking back to where Hyunjin was quite literally lounging, your mouth drying at the sight. You had been worried he would mind your words, but you realized it was quite the opposite. Everything about his bearing indicated that he had liked them. He had one arm lazily draped over the armrest, black hair sticky from dancing and falling into his face, fixing you with the slightest hint of that smirk that was solely reserved for teasing you about something. And his eyes held your gaze with such intensity, it left no doubt as to what he was thinking. Looking back at the two girls who were still glaring at you sharply, you decided on a whim that you had agreed on public displays of affection tonight. There was no better time than right now.

With a huff, knowing very well their eyes were glued on you, you simply stacked your empty cup into one of theirs, not caring that the liquid was spilling over and running down her hand.

“Be a darling and hold this for me, won’t you?” you drawled with a sickeningly sweet smile on your face, satisfied to see that they were both utterly flabbergasted.

Turning your back to them again you took three big strides to reach Hyunjin, following the way was biting on his bottom lip.

“Stop manspreading.” You huffed with a teasing smile tugging at your lips, watching a similar expression grow on his face.

“Are you giving me commands now?” Stepping up to him you forced his legs closer together with your thighs, sinking your knees into the cushion on either side of his leg and leaning on the backrest with your arms, close enough that you could brush your lips against his ear.

“Hyunjin?” you basically purred his name, and you could feel the muscles in his thighs flex in response.

“Mmh?” He hummed, his hand automatically settling on the back of your thigh.

“I’m going to spit in your mouth and you have exactly one second to tell me not to.”

“Now why would I do that?”

“Thought so,” you chuckled, nipping his ear before lifting yourself up and catching his gaze, noting how hooded his eyes had become. Oh he was definitely enjoying this.

Slipping one hand into his hair you leant down, pressing your lips to his in a messy kiss. His tongue darted out immediately, licking over your lips and dipping into your open mouthed kiss, saliva and the taste of alcohol mixing. Tightening your grip you pulled him back by his hair, forcing him to look at you. His mouth was half opened in a groan, a thin string of saliva connecting his lips to yours and you leant up on your knees so you were angled looking down at him. Knowing without checking that you were being watched you let a trail of your own spit drip into his mouth. You meshed your lips together again in another aggressive, sloppy kiss before pulling away and closing his mouth with a slight tap of your finger against his chin.

“That was disgusting,” you heard Felix state in such a scandalized tone you almost laughed.

“That was a statement.” you argued with light shrug, grinning at Hyunjin’s completely dazed expression. Right now you had him completely wrapped around your finger.

“That right there is the reason I hate straight people.” Minho scoffed, and you could just about imagine the look he was giving the two of you.

“You are straight people-“ Hyunjin threw in unhelpfully, Minho cutting him off with an overly dramativ roll of his eyes.

“And I live with that burden every day.”

Even just that short sentence had been enough for Hyunjin’s voice to give away just how turned on he was right now, barely more than a husky groan. His hand that had settled on your thigh wrapped around your waist, lifting you up with him and almost causing you to stumble.

“I think it’s time we get out of here before you get flayed alive. At any rate, we’ve already given them enough of a show.”

You only managed a nod, your head swimming from the rollercoaster of feelings you had gone through within the last twenty or so minutes, switching from angry enough to hit someone to so flustered you could feel the heat in your cheeks. At least you had no doubt that to any bystander you had perfectly kept up the couple charade.

You let Hyunjin lead you through the room and out the front door, following his stride for a couple more meters until you were out of hearing range from any people straying from the party. The fresh air helped gathering some of your drunk thoughts, even if Hyunjin’s hand was still tightly grabbing onto your waist.

“So, I feel better than they could ever imagine, huh?” You were still pondering on the right words to say to him, but as usual he was way faster, not taking things quite as seriously.

“I’m sorry,” you breathed, guilt lacing through your words because you were worried that even if he didn’t mind you crawling all over his lap, you weren’t sure he was just fine with you talking about him like this. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m drunk, but that’s not an excuse.”

“You mean you never should have boosted my ego like that?” Ignoring how you should have just punched him for being an idiot you weren’t quite ready to joke around about it just yet. Despite how you had reacted in the height of your feelings the whole event had left you rattled after all.

“So you’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad at you? That was fucking hot what pulled back there.” Your steps faltered and Hyunjin steadied you, arm wrapping around your waist tighter. While you had already realized earlier that in the moment, he clearly hadn’t been bothered by what you had said, you still felt the need to make sure he knew you didn’t intend to go around spilling details about his private life and you felt sorry it had happened.

“I did say some pretty private things in there, to the very people you hate invading your privacy. I would totally understand if you were.”

“I mean, of course I could live without them knowing whether or not you’re sitting on my dick, but you were actually trying to help and I appreciate that.”

His words made you realize with clarity for the first time that maybe you had been extremely unfair in your assessment. There was no denying that he enjoyed getting his ego stroked, but what these girls were doing was nowhere near anything he actually enjoyed. It was hurtful, and you had simply written him off as being overly dramatic and liking the attention up until now. When you had suggested he just choose any other girl back at that first party you thought he had declined because he was an entitled asshole who wanted to get what he couldn’t have. Now that you had experienced the situation first hand you could understand why he didn’t want to, and you had the suspicion than you had been very wrong about a lot of your opinions about Hyunjin.

“I hadn’t fully realized until tonight how hurtful your whole situation actually is for you,“ you quietly admitted, looking at the ground rather than at Hyunjin because it was shameful to admit that you hadn’t even realized this after spending over two weeks of constantly seeing him.

“What did you think-“ he paused for a moment before releasing a laugh that was somewhere between dry and bitter. “Oh god, you thought I was actually enjoying, what-? That there was a bunch of girls hoping I’d fall in love with them and I used that opportunity to get an easy fuck, not caring that they’d want more and I’d be hurting them?”

You were trying to stutter out a reply but grandiosely failing, not getting anywhere because what were you supposed to say? ‘Yes, that’s exactly what I was thinking.’

“You totally did think that. Wow. Woooow. Really charming. Is that the vibe I’m giving off?“

He didn’t actually sound angry with you, just extremely bitter, so you didn’t think he was actually pissed rather than exasperated. Then again, counting how many times you had completely misjudged his character, maybe he was two seconds away from leaving you drunk in the cold.

You hadn’t thought it was possible to feel even more guilty, but alas. So it was even more horrifying to hear your next words leave your mouth, your drunk, stubborn self speaking before your guilt could even catch up.

“The first time we met you basically insinuated you think I’m desperate. And the moment you realized I’m not all that impressed by you, you immediately wanted to fuck. Are you really surprised that’s the vibe I got from you?“ It cost you all the self-restraint you had to not slap your hands over your mouth for your own stupid words. It was like something in you was desperately trying to antagonize Hyunjin at any chance, for no apparent reason. You were too caught up in regretting your words to fully realize that in the short silence spanning between you, Hyunjin didn’t look offended.

“I suppose I haven’t been all that pleasant around you.” He finally sighed, and you didn’t know what to do other than simply stare at him dumbfounded, because why was he apologizing to you?! “I’m sorry. And I actually mean it this time. I was drunk that night, which isn’t an excuse of course, and on top of that I haven’t had to flirt – or have even tried to flirt - with anyone in... let’s say a while. I guess my drunk, needy self isn’t all that charming.“

“Hyunjin…” you trailed off again, still falling short on what to say. It was you who should be trying to appease him, not the other way around. He really had to stop being basically perfect because at some point you wouldn’t be able to blame the fluttering in your stomach on being drunk. “I’m such an asshole,” you finally pressed out, knowing it weren’t quite the right words, but it was a start. “I just made up my mind about you without ever asking for your side of the story. I just assumed, since you don’t ever tell them off, you actually like the attention.“

“Obviously it does boost my ego to unhealthy planes, but I wouldn’t take advantage of anyone. If all they wanted was a to hook-up there’d technically be no problem with that, except I don’t feel comfortable with how they view me.

“Then why don’t you tell them? Why did it take me spilling too much private information, when you could just say ‘respect my privacy and leave me alone’ or, alternatively, ‘fuck off’?“

Hyunjin didn’t immediately reply, but you could tell he wanted to say something, trying to work up the nerve to do so.

“I did. Once.” There was a prolonged moment of silence but you didn’t push, for once sensible enough to realize that whatever he was about to say was something that was difficult for him, and the fact that he wanted to tell you was most likely more important than you realized.

“You know what happened? The girl started crying. I panicked because I hadn’t wanted to hurt her. So I kissed her, because I didn’t know what else to do. She couldn’t have been all that heartbroken because we ended up having sex in the faculty’s toilets and I had never felt so used. So it’s not that I don’t want to tell them off, but rather that I can’t. I can’t tell them to fuck off, even nicely, because they will cry and I will know I hurt them. And then I want to take it back and comfort them and they will only proceed to make me feel like a fucking idiot. So instead I just try my best to ignore it.“

“Oh. Hyunjin…” You truly were at a loss of words, because what even would be the right words to say at a moment like this? Where you had judged him arrogant, aloof and uncaring, he was the exact opposite. Hyunjin cared too much, you realised, and he got the short end for it. He couldn’t even be harsh when he had every right to be just that. So instead, he just shut up, swallowed it and tried his best to ignore it. He had half joked about not having flirted in ages and you had thought that’s because he usually simply didn’t have to try, but you now realized your mistake. He hadn’t had any relationship, casual or not, in probably a long time because he would end up feeling used. He would end up not knowing whether it had been for his sake, or whether it had nothing to do with him as a person, what he said, how he acted.

It was clear to you now that he had not started flirting with you because he liked the chase, because he wanted you when he realized he couldn’t have you. It wasn’t that at all. Rather, he had realized that with you, he would have a chance to be seen for him, to be liked for him and not only because he looked irresistibly good. He wasn’t trying to get you in his bed only to proof that he could.

Hyunjin could probably see the way your heart was bleeding for him, because he did not give you the chance to voice any of your thoughts.

“I hate talking about this because I liked the way we were. Normal, you know. Not you looking at me as if I’m someone to be pitied. I like when you tell me to fuck off and I have no idea how to convince you otherwise.” The words pulled a snort from you despite how you felt from him, and you decided that you could do at least that for him.

“Please, as if you don’t get hard every time you beg to touch me,” you scoffed, the usual easiness of your banter not quite there yet, but you could see the way the tension in his shoulders eased, visibly relieved by your unspoken agreement. “But if I hear anyone utter another degrading word about you or us, I can’t promise you that it’s not on sight. And that has nothing to do with me pitying you. Fake relationship or not, they have no right to talk and I’ll make sure they know that.”

There was a short pause and you could clearly see Hyunjin was struggling with whether he should say what was on his mind or not, before he asked the question he clearly hadn’t been sure you would answer.

“Did they insult you, too?”

You did nothing to stop the dry chuckle at his words. The ‘too’ was a funny addition, because there were worlds between the way they spoke about him, and they spoke about you, even if neither was anywhere near okay.

You didn’t want to talk about it however, because the rational part of you knew their words weren’t true and should just ring empty. You also quite clearly remembered the line of thought their words had evoked, and that was something you would never discuss with Hyunjin.

“Nothing I can’t handle.” You answered curtly instead, hoping that he would simply drop the matter. Of course he did not.

“That doesn’t mean you should have to. I should have known this whole dating idea would backfire on you eventually. What did they say?”

“Don’t worry about it, really. Like I said, it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“Please tell me what they said.”

You hesitated. His voice burned with an intensity that told you he wouldn’t accept your evasive answers even though you would have been fine with just swiping this incident under the rug and move on. The more he brought it up, the more he made you relive the words again and again in your mind, until the rational part of you became very silent, and you were half convinced they’d had a point. You weren’t anywhere near Hyunjin’s level, which was precisely the reason why your relationship only existed because it was fake. Under any other circumstances he would not have fallen head over heels for you, would he? If this whole charade didn’t exist, would he look at you twice?

You felt him squeeze your side gently, bringing you back to the current moment where not telling him would probably be as uncomfortable as telling him.

“They said they couldn’t understand how I had convinced you to date me,” you finally ground out, your voice staying silent in the hope that he simply wouldn’t hear what you were saying and would give up. “That I was too plain for you, and you’re way too perfect to be with someone like me.”

As soon as the words had left your mouth you regretted not going with the option of delivering him some excuse why you couldn’t tell him. It would have been better than saying the things they had thrown at your head, realizing that they rang true. It was clear as day that your relationship could not be anything other than fake because Hyunjin was near perfect in every aspect except maybe his ego, and you had very few positive aspects to pride yourself with. Shame washed over you, increased tenfold by how easily your emotions were manipulated when you had been drinking. And you had been fairly drunk even before you had downed a whole cup because of those two girls and their sharp tongue.

The silence that settled between you was extremely uncomfortable even though Hyunjin kept his hand lightly resting on your waist, and with every step you took without him saying anything you became increasingly sure that he, too, realized how true those words were. Finally, when you started trying to squirm out of his grasp, he broke the silence.

“You believe them, don’t you?”

It didn’t take a second for you to reply.

“Am I wrong to do so? Look at us, I don’t know how we manage to fool even one person. You’re, and I am by no means objectifying you when I say this, but it stands for a fact that you’re beautiful. I’m mediocre at best. You’re funny, you’re put together, you’re organized, you’re talented. The only thing I got going for me is that I can pick a lock in two seconds and talk Jisung into buying me Burger King at least once a week.”

You yelped so loud it echoed in the dead silence of the night when Hyunjin suddenly stopped, pulling you into him so you were pressed flush against his body. His fingers under your chin lifted your face up until you were forced to look at him.

“You really don’t see it, do you?”

“See what?” you asked, realizing how dumb you sounded. You really had no idea what he was getting at, and the mix of alcohol, the heat of his body and the intensity of his gaze really didn’t help with putting your thoughts together.

“How fucking breathtaking you are.” Your eyes followed the way his gaze dropped to your lips, unsure whether you actually wanted him to kiss you, and how you would react if he did. You didn’t have to decide, because his lips dropped to your cheek instead, then to your nose, then to your other cheek, words mumbled against your skin so silently you had to strain to understand them.

“You’re doing this whole relationship thing solely for my benefit. You’re putting up with my horrible flirting. You’re standing up for me even though you don’t have to.”

His lips had moved from your jaw to your lips, pecking them softly and giving you the chance to move away. And while you had been trying to avoid situations like this there was no way you could move away from him now, not when his hands were gently holding your cheeks and he was hovering to closely you could feel his breath on your lips, waiting for your response. You leant back in, resigning to the fact that you couldn’t resist Hyunjin. Not when he had kissed you like he wanted to drown in you earlier, and now held you so gently, telling you how amazing you were. Everything about him was addictive from his soft kisses to his words, somehow always saying just what you wanted to hear, reading you way too well even after such a short time. And even though he had poured his heart out to you a few moments ago and you had had the first real, honest moment with him that let you hope that maybe he at least considered you somewhat of a friend, even if he had kissed you with no other intention than to show you he meant his words, you knew the moment the mood shifted and his teeth nibbled on your bottom lip, turning your kisses increasingly less innocent. You didn’t care, not when he picked up on his earlier string of thought again, telling you how much he wanted you, except it wasn’t quite as heartfelt anymore.

“I can’t get enough of kissing you. How you let me have just enough to drive me crazy. I want you so bad, you have no idea. God, I can’t stop thinking about the way you feel.”

You had known where this was leading, where you had promised yourself you wouldn’t go because it was stupid and you would get your heart broken, but all you did was pull his face up to yours, fingers buried in his hair, and press your lips against his wet ones. The kiss was sloppy and desperate. There was nothing tender about it, just raw, unfiltered need, teeth nibbling on your bottom lip, his tongue pressing against your mouth until you opened up for him. You were sure you had never been kissed better than this, Hyunjin’s hands gripping your ass, pressing you against him. Saliva was coating your lips when you broke away, his pupils so dilated they looked black in the dark of the night.

“Are we going to talk about your spitting kink?” he teased when you sloppily wiped at your lips and you groaned, fixing him with an irritated look.

“I was drunk, and if anything you almost whimpered when I proposed the idea.”

“Mmmh,” he hummed, lazy smile tugging at his lips while his fingertips drew along the length of your skirt, brushing your thighs. “I love when you act as if you don’t desperately want me all over you.”

“You’re so god damn annoying,” you breathed, gasping when his fingers shortly dipped under your skirt. The next thing you knew you were both stumbling the last few meters towards your dorm building, his hands brushing from your back to your ass, yours gripping onto his arm as if you were worried you would fall if you had to walk by yourself. You weren’t quite sure you could have walked by yourself, the whole way back a fleeting mess of stumbling, laughing and kissing and nagging, your back pressed against the wall of the building, Hyunjin’s tongue tasting the alcohol and desire on yours.

You didn’t make it farther than the flight of stairs leading up to your dorm room, and you didn’t know whether you had stumbled or whether you had purposely pushed Hyunjin down, but either way you had landed on his lap, skirt riding dangerously high on your thighs. His elbows were leaning on the stair behind him, eyes raking over you. His hair tie had come loose at some point, or maybe you had pulled it out, causing strands of dark hair to fall into his face. With a wicked grin you moved your hips once, satisfied when he grunted in response, eyes snapping back up to yours.

“You know we’re technically still in public, right?” his tone had dropped, more of a rumble than anything else, and it sent heat straight between your legs.

“Maybe I want to get you into trouble.” Your words almost caught in your throat when he rolled his hips against yours, making sure the rough material of his jeans rubbed against your wet panties at just the right angle.

You bit your lower lip, watching the way his eyes fluttered shut when you matched his movement until you felt him get hard under you. When you were sure he was beyond coherent thoughts you leant down until your hair brushed his exposed collarbones, causing him to shiver under you. You let your lips ghost over his, moving to his jaw and dipping your tongue out before you reached the shell of his ear.

“Would you fuck my mouth if I asked nicely?”

Your voice was a needy purr, making sure he knew just how badly you wanted to suck him off. The string of profanities falling from his mouth told you he knew. You continued to trail your mouth over his skin, taking your sweet time until you reached his nipple, licking a wet stripe over the fabric of his shirt. They were hard under the silky material and you swirled your tongue again, satisfied with the reactions you drew from him.

“I want to fuck you so bad.”

The words were barely a fully formed sentence and you yelped – definitely too loud considering you were in the middle of the staircase, dorm rooms on either end – when his hands slipped up your thighs, fingers catching in the mesh of your fishnets. He didn’t bother, pulling until you heard a distinct rip that told you he had just fucking ripped your tights, too caught up in the moment to care. He lifted you higher, hard dick tightly pressed to your underwear, your skirt moved up so high it left nothing unexposed. How he even had the strength to stand up with you in his lap you had no idea, but you felt his thigh muscles flexing with the effort, your legs automatically wrapping around his waist.

Heat and wetness was pooling between your thighs so excessively, you were sure you would once again be leaving his jeans drenched.

He was carrying you up the last few stairs to your dorm, nails digging into your thighs, lips ghosting over your collarbones and up to your ear, sucking on your skin so hard you felt the tingling traces even when he continued his wet trail. He groaned into your skin at your slightest reactions, sending shivers down your spine and you felt yourself clench around nothing. God, you wanted him inside you so bad. The thought of him filling you up, fucking you against the staircase, the wall, wherever and however he wanted was so tempting.

Hyunjin opened and closed the front door behind him without letting go of you, his grip only loosening when you were safely inside your dorm. When you slipped down on unsteady legs, pressing your thighs together, you became only more aware of the wetness Hyunjin’s kisses had caused, the fabric of your underwear so drenched it was uncomfortable.

“Can I now get on my knees and suck you off?” It was supposed to come out sounding sassy, but all you achieved was to sound precisely as needy as you felt. You barely managed to wait for him to nod in a daze, cursing when you got down on your knees in front of him and the words slid over your skin like honey.

You moved your hands up his thighs, not daring to tease him for too long and unzipping his pants while trying not to fumble. He lifted his hips just enough from the wall for you to slide them down until his skin was in contact with the cold living room wall, causing him to hiss shortly. You didn’t give him time to think, instead moving the waistband of his underwear to free his dick, wetting your lips at the sight. He wasn’t ridiculously big or thick, but you knew that if you let him fuck your mouth you would probably choke a bit. It was intoxicating, the mix of alcohol in your system, him, beautiful in every aspect, against the wall. You were sure right there and then that you would stay on your knees for hours just to please him, although the moment your hand wrapped around his cock you knew he was allowing you to take the lead, willing to do what you wanted because it was you who wanted it.

"You’re so whipped for me,” you mused, a teasing smile on your lips and resonating in your voice, blinking up at him through your lashes. “Cute.”

“God you’re annoying. Get my dick in your mouth alrea- oh fuck.”

His words cut off when you lowered your lips to the tip of his cock, causing you to smile barely with how he was filling your mouth. You sucked down on him softly at first, testing how he fit into your mouth, satisfied that you could swallow more of him than you thought you could without straining yourself. Adding your hand to cover the rest that did not fit between your lips you started sucking at a lazy rhythm, working him up until his breath was laboured.

When you looked up from under your lashes and caught sight of him you came to the conclusion that this - that everything you did and endured for him was worth this moment. He looked ethereal, blissfully stunning and unbelievably beautiful. His arms were tense, veins straining. His head was tilted back, giving you a perfect view of the plains of his neck and smooth skin. His eyes were closed, stray strands of black hair sticking to his forehead and you tried to burn the imagine into your mind, paired with the sounds of his rough breathing and silent whimpering.

You sucked down on his length again, revelling in the sensation for a few more moments, watching Hyunjin’s reaction intently and memorizing every single detail. It was only when your lips left his length with a wet pop and you stilled, waiting and watching until he finally realized you were waiting for him that he dropped his gaze back to you. His eyes were hazy, pupils fully blown out and you pressed your thighs together at the sight.

“I thought you were going to fuck my mouth?” you drawled, knowing that the way you were letting some of your neediness for him slip through would drive him crazy. Proving you right, a groan fell over his lips again and he unclenched his hands, one of them coming to rest against your cheek. You leaned into his touch, his thumb running over your cheek, your jaw and coming to wipe over your lip, wet with saliva and precum. You opened your mouth slightly and he took the hint, slipping his thumb in and pressing down on your tongue lightly. You bit down before running your tongue along his digit and sucking harshly, keeping your eyes on him the whole time. His eyelids fluttered and you thought that you might have to remind him again that you wanted him back in your mouth, but he caught on after another laboured breath.

“Are you sure?”

You let go of his thumb with a pop, letting him drag the wet digit over your cheek again, your thoughts arranging themselves only slowly. Even though you had offered – you had asked for it – twice, he still was making sure you felt comfortable with it, and the gesture was so typically Hyunjin it made your heart flutter in your chest.

“I am. You can use me however you want,” you said as steadily as you managed, knowing he would want verbal confirmation.

His hand threaded from your cheek into your hair almost before you even finished the sentence, and you noticed his dick twitching at your words. You swallowed, letting him move your head down to his crotch again almost gently, as if he wasn’t sure whether to go through with this.

“Hyunjin, want you in my mouth,” you mewled to reaffirm him in your conviction, your breath hitting his wet length and you watched a shudder move through his body before he pushed you down so you were forced to take him in. You could tell he was only testing things out by the way he was carefully, softly, pushing your head down, not hitting the back of your throat or making you swallow his full length. You wanted him to fully let go, hollowing your cheeks and sucking and you felt the precise moment he lost all his inhibitions, his dick twitching in your mouth.

Tears sprang to your eyes when he pushed your head down until his length hit the back of your throat, forcing you to take in all of him. You tried to blink them away, focussing on the way he was guiding your head. You felt his thighs flex under your hands, muscles contracting. You wanted to watch him but you were fully focused on taking him in as much as he wanted you to without gagging.

“You’re doing so great-“ his words were barely strung together, falling over his lips with ragged breaths. “I want to fuck you so bad.”

You wanted him too, moaning around him again and only pushing him further towards the edge. He couldn’t keep up his steady rhythm for more than a few thrusts and you felt the change when his hips bucked up and he started erratically fucking himself in your mouth. It almost made you choke and you struggled to keep up, but the suppressed moans falling from his mouth were enough to make you want to take it all in.

“Fuck I’m- you don’t have to… swallow- oh god-“ Hyunjin’s words were barely coherent but you understood, digging your fingers into his skin, hoping he would understand. This was about him. You would do whatever he wanted. You weren’t sure whether he had actually understood what you meant or he simply didn’t have enough self-control to wait, but either way you felt his hips stutter and his cum fill your mouth a moment later.

You weren’t a fan of swallowing usually, but you also wouldn’t let just anyone fuck your mouth and despite all your barriers and precautions, despite the warning bells ringing in your mind, you knew you had already gone too far with Hyunjin for him to be just anyone. So you swallowed, letting the salty liquid run down your throat while he was weakly pushing himself into your mouth a few more times, dragging out his orgasm. His grip on your hair softened and he gently pulled you off, your cheek coming to rest on his thigh. His fingertips were caressing your scalp, soothing the spots he had gripped harshly just a moment ago and your gaze fluttered up to meet his.

Every time you thought he couldn’t look more beautiful you were proven wrong, your breath catching in your throat. In that moment there was something more unguarded and vulnerable about him than you had ever seen before. He was regarding you with utter gentleness, his other hand wiping at the corner of your mouth.

You lifted your head from Hyunjin’s thigh, letting him pull up his pants and sloppily close the top button just enough to keep them sitting on his hips.

They sat lower than normally now, the v-shape of his hipbones making you desperately want to lick up his stomach and maybe just have him in your mouth again already.

You took the hand he offered you, surprised when he pulled you close and signalled you to wrap your legs around him. You obliged without thinking much about it, feeling weak and frail after having him fuck himself into your mouth without holding back, but regretted it the moment your skirt slipped up and you realised you were pressed flush against him.

You flushed when Hyunjin stilled for a moment before a lazy smirk graced his face. “Want me to do something about that?”

“I want you to pretend you didn’t even notice,” you pouted, struggling hard to hold his gaze and not let your resolve crumble. You had noticed how wet you had gotten while sucking him off already, but now that your thighs and crotch were pressed against him you could feel how you were drenching him.

“That’s a bit hard when you’re soaking through my shirt, kitten.”

“God, I really hate you,” you supplied with a shake of your head. Your words were lacking malice, which you were sure he noticed. In truth, you wanted to let him kiss and bite his way down between your thighs so badly the thought alone almost made you whimper. But even though it wasn’t much, you still had enough self-preservation to know that if you made this decision while being drunk and needy it would only make your attachment to him worse.

Hyunjin let you hop down in front of your room and even though you had asked him to ignore it, in the light of the living room it was hard not to notice the wet spot you had left on his shirt.

The only reaction you could think of that wasn’t jumping him and having him take you up against the wall was to turn around on the spot, shoes still on, and rush into your room.

“Goodnight, Hyunjin!” you shouted through the closed door, realizing that you would have to sleep without brushing your teeth and your make-up on, but really, you had dug your own grave with that one.

#skz #stray kids #stray kids smut #hyunjin #hyunjin smut #Skz smut #for some reason I can't add some people to the tag list i'm so sorry #also #WERE ALMOST DONE WITH THIS FIC HOW WE FEELING????#also minho #im sorry.

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