#englishave

[kimberlykrautter]

One of our burgeoning young artists at #Wonderroot's mural project with the #bellwoodboysandgirlsclub in #EnglishAve. #WestSideOntheRise (at Bellwood Boys And Girls Club)

[chefseth43]

No Heat Mode... Brings Back Memory’s Ehen I Saw This In An #ATL #WestSide #Kitchen... . . . . . . . . #hoodheatmode #heat #heatout #nofurnishings #electricovenssuck #nonobservant #westside #HollywoodRD #Perryhomes #donaldleehollowell #englishAV #pushback #bankhead #nophotoop #taken (at Northwest Atlanta, Atlanta, Georgia)

[learninggracenotes]

On Grief

Last week, I thought I'd lost my best friend. She's in this new relationship, and she hadn't talked to me in days. It was like... she was around, but she wasn't ever with me anymore. I was at a loss for how to respond. And in pain. So I told God about it - because that's what I do when stuff is beyond me - and, in prayer, was surprised to find just how much pain the real-and-present danger of losing my best friend actually caused me.

The next day, I went to the park to spend some focused time with God. I'm reading through John, and the chapter I'd planned to read in that time is chapter 11. What I had not realized before I got to the park was that this is the story of when Lazarus dies. Now, I don't know if you're familiar with the story, but basically, the short version, one of Jesus' closest friends, Lazarus (who is also Mary and Martha's brother) dies, and a few days later Jesus goes to where he's buried and raises him from the dead.

That's the short version, but it leaves out some of important details that add drama to the story. Like how the people who live in Judea (where Lazarus was) had almost killed Jesus a few days before, and he'd had to flee. Or how Mary and Martha both - on separate occasions - said to Jesus that if he'd only been there, their brother wouldn't have died. Or how the whole town trekked out to the grave to show Jesus where his friend was buried. Notably, this chapter is also where we find the shortest verse in the bible: Jesus wept.

Now, I know this story. But this time around, I got hung up on that "Jesus wept" bit. I heard in a sermon a while back that the word that's used for wept doesn't mean "Jesus shed a manly tear for his best friend," it means something more like, "Jesus doubled over, wracked with uncontrollable sobs." And I got hung up on this verse for a couple different reasons.

What I noticed, and what I want you to notice, is that Jesus willingly entered into deep pain and tragedy, when, in my opinion at least, he didn't have to. 'Cause here's what gets me: Jesus already knew he was going to fix the situation by raising Lazarus from the dead. Just read verses 11-14. And that means that even though he could do something about it - even though he was sure he WOULD do something about it - Jesus STILL took the time to lament (Lament: the expression of grief; Grief: a cause of deep sadness). It surprised me. I think of grief as being mixed with a sense of helplessness. Grief says, "this is horrible, and there's nothing I can do to change it, and I don't know how to cope except by doing my best to express how much this sucks." But Jesus has the power to change the situation. So why would he grieve?

What that says to me is that God, for some reason, values grief and lament. He does not dismiss it or try to skip over it. In the verse where it says "Jesus wept," Jesus is with Mary, Martha, and all the other people. Just a little earlier, the story says that "he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled," and saw the sisters and their community weeping. After that they all go to the grave, and he weeps with them. So for one thing, he is grieving the death of his close friend. For another, he is entering into this corporate moment of pain and its expression, in solidarity with those who experienced deep loss. I think he's also lamenting the pain that his friends Mary and Martha and their community feel.

When I read this, I was comforted. I realized that Jesus has actually gone through the exact pain with which I was threatened, and I felt his compassion. I felt like he was in solidarity with me, too, and even if I did lose my best friend, he would grieve with me, and help me heal. But I also felt that there might be something more God was trying to teach me about grief.

This Sunday, the pastor read that passage from the pulpit, just before an extended time of worship. So I decided to ask God if there was more he wanted to say about grief. And I'm not really concerned with trying to figure out if God spoke to me or how that all works. But the thoughts I walked away with from that time of prayer are, I think, a continuation of what I learned reading about Lazarus that day in the park.

Grief, it seems, is part of the whole story. If God is the inventor of everything good, then he's the inventor of Story, too. And grief and loss are somehow part of that. God values grief because it is a tangible expression of our knowledge that the world is not as it should be. It is to the soul what pain is to the body - the message that something is wrong. God enters into lament with us in order acknowledge (and help us acknowledge) that that message is true. (Brené Brown, author of Daring Greatly, shares a powerful story about God lamenting, and other thoughts on grief & God, in this viedo interview.)

Furthermore, our grief is proof that we are made in his image. If grief is a kind of cognitive dissonance (or dissonance of the soul?) between what is and what should be, then our knowledge of what "should be" points to a standard of rightness which could only come from our creator. And if we experience pain when things are not as they should be, then how much greater must God's pain be? He loves much more deeply than we do, his sense of justice is purer and bigger, his desire for things to be right much greater than our own. So God grieves, too. Probably much more than we do, and much more than we realize. Bethaney noted, when I talked this over with her, that if you read the OT with that in mind, God sounds less like an angry despot and more like someone who got his heart broken.

Lastly, God's lament does not negate his intention to make things right. In fact, it serves as confirmation that he cannot, will not let things stay the way they are; grief expresses his strong desire to resolve that disconnect between what is and what should be. And so we read about how "the reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil's work," (1 John 3:8). See also the prophet Isaiah who reports:

"This is what God the Lord says— the Creator of the heavens, who stretches them out,     who spreads out the earth with all that springs from it,     who gives breath to its people,     and life to those who walk on it: 6 “I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness;     I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you     to be a covenant for the people     and a light for the Gentiles, 7 to open eyes that are blind,     to free captives from prison     and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness. "

And that is what I learned about grief and lament this week. God grieves in his own right, and he grieves with us: because he loves us, his creation, and hates to see us suffer; because he, too, feels pain when things are broken or not as they should be; because he intends to set things right.

In case you're curious, I did not actually lose my best friend. We're back on speaking terms, and it's delightful. In his kindness, God gave me the opportunity to talk with her about what was going on, and then helped us come to a resolution.

Also, that situation is not the only reason I've been thinking about grief and lament. With all this talk about the new stadium, my neighbors and I have been starting to get informed about the political situation around here. Talk about things not being as they should. To get an inkling of some of what's going on, you can read this article that was written about a meeting that happened last week.

Hope this was at least interesting to you! I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on matters of grief and lament. How have you experienced God when you were grieving?

[newjackgospel]

No seriously. He dressed up as the Holy Ghost for Halloween. #dead #lol #halloween #happyhalloween #costume #wow #holyghost #churchflow #eahc #englishave #englishavenuehousechurch #trickortreat #bestoftheday #photooftheday #picoftheday #ig #igers #igdaily #instadaily #iphoneonly

[kimberlykrautter]

What a perfect way to bookend this week wrangling media coverage of #Westside youth painting mural canvasses of art THEY CREATED thanks to #Wonderroot #EnglishAve #WestsideOnTheRise (at Bellwood Boys And Girls Club)

[newjackgospel]

The humble beginnings of a Kickstarter video. Me: iPhone 4s and Mr. Phillips with an iPhone 5. #pip #pictureinpicture #iphone5 #iphone4s #kickstarter #englishave #englishavenue #bestoftheday #photooftheday #picoftheday #pictureoftheday #ig #igers #igdaily #instadaily #startup #crowdfunding #iphoneonly #noedit #nofilter

[newjackgospel]

Koi pond in the Bluff. #englishave #englishavenue #koi #pond #fish #water #rocks #grass #garden #urbangarden #bestoftheday #vscocam #photography #photooftheday #picoftheday #pictureoftheday #ig #igers #igdaily #instadaily #iphoneonly

[newjackgospel]

Cute Kids and Black History are a great combo. #blackhistorymonth #history #englishave #newlifecovenant #church #kids #cute #bestoftheday #photooftheday #picoftheday #igers #igdaily #instadaily #instahub #iphoneonly #noedit #nofilter

[newjackgospel]

Teardrops on Cho's Guitar #englishave #eahc #superurban #englishavenue #guitar #music #housechurch #gracemidtown #music #worship #praise #bestoftheday #photooftheday #picoftheday #igers #igdaily #instadaily #iphoneonly #noedit #nofilter

[newjackgospel]

#streetart #graffiti #englishave #sign #quotes #spraypaint #bestoftheday #photooftheday #picoftheday #igers #igdaily #iphoneonly #instadaily #nofilter #noedit

[newjackgospel]

#streetart #sundayart #art #graffiti #painting #house #englishave #bestoftheday #picoftheday #phototheday #igers #igdaily #instadaily #iphoneonly #noedit #nofilter

[newjackgospel]

Pic from the "new place". #house #bible #scripture #gracemidtown #gracehouse #latergram #eahc #englishave #atlanta #floor #blessing #bestoftheday #picoftheday #photooftheday #igers #igdaily #instadaily #iphoneonly #noedit #nofilter

[newjackgospel]

The power of Skype can make housechurch a lot more interesting. BTW Ben aka @freakingbenja says What's Up from New Zealand. #eahc #englishave #englishavehousechurch #atlanta #freakingbenja #newzealand #skype #macbook #megatron #ywam #dts #mission #gracemidtown #bestoftheday #photooftheday #picoftheday #igers #igdaily #iphoneonly #instadaily

[newjackgospel]

Ol' 723 is already festive this year. #christmas #christmaslights #house #night #nightshot #lights #colors #englishave #englishavehousechurch #latergram #bestoftheday #photooftheday #picoftheday #igers #igdaily #instadaily #iphoneonly #noedit #nofilter

[newjackgospel]

Since we were in the bluff, a ghetto plaid impromptu "hood stance"was only fitting. #ghettoplaid #hood #youaintaboutthatlife #englishave #englishavenue #englishavehousechurch #atlanta #gracemidtown #church #churchflow #serving #gangsta #bestoftheday #photooftheday #picoftheday #igers #igdaily #instadaily #iphoneonly #noedit #nofilter

[newjackgospel]

We had White Tee Wednesday a while ago. This was Ghetto Plaid Sunday for #eahc. #englishave #englishavenue #englishavehousechurch #gracemidtown #ghettoplaid #plaid #churchflow #church #serving #americaneagle #bestoftheday #picoftheday #photooftheday #igers #igdaily #instadaily #iphoneonly #noedit #nofilter