#end!verse castiel

[deerlysacred]

ᨒ↟ witch, please... | patching what's left of us | chapter one

⟆ end!verse dean winchester x witch fem!reader

🍄𝄢 i had to delete the previous one and post it again because i couldn't edit some texts and pictures for a reason…? like i could edit them but they wouldn't be placed right like i wanted them to somehow. 🥲 anyways, re-posting this, edited and added some small parts.

🌜𝄢 in this version of series of mine, it had been 2 years since the croatoan virus messed the world up. also yes, the world is in a very bad situation but it's not as bad as the show version. there are multiple survival camps in the world and the croatoans are not that much.

‼️ 𝄢 i do not own supernatural or any of its characters; all rights belong to their respective creators. this is purely a work of fan fiction for entertainment purposes only, with no intention of profit.

The door creaked open loudly, letting in a gust of icy wind that rattled the loose panes of the cabin windows. The blond man looked up from the map spread across an old desk, his jaw set, tired green eyes narrowing when they found your weak and dirty state. He was nursing a half-empty bottle of whiskey, the amber liquid sloshing lazily as he swirled it in his hand.

"Boss," one of his men announced, pushing you forward. "Found her out past the south perimeter. Alone. Didn't look like trouble."

The man set the bottle down with a thunk, his lips pressing into a thin line. He didn't say anything at first, just dragged his eyes over you like he was trying to peel back your skin and see what was hiding underneath, like he could see whether you were good or bad news. Then he made his men go out with a nod of his head.

"Great," he muttered eventually when you two were alone, letting out a humorless laugh. "Another mouth to feed." His voice was rough, rasping like it had been worn down by too many cigarettes, too many shouted orders, too many sleepless nights. He looked past you, through you, like he was already calculating the cost of keeping you here. "Kinda impressive, considering most folks out there are croats or corpses. What, you got a guardian angel, or are you just stupid lucky?"

The man didn't wait for an answer— it looked like he rarely does. He took a swig of whiskey, eyeing you like you were a puzzle missing half the pieces as you were fiddling with your aching fingers. "Name's Dean. Yeah, the Dean. And if you're not infected, congrats. You just won yourself a room in Camp Chitaqua." His voice dropped, darkening. "Don't make me regret it."

He observed you with a look that made the cabin room feel smaller than it was.

"So," he spoke, voice low and gravelly. "You got a name you mind to share, or should I just call you 'the new gal'?"

"Y/N." you muttered, shifting on your feet under his doubtful gaze. The leader was sizing you up like he had seen a hundred different kinds of bullshit, and he was trying to figure out which category you fell into.

He eventually raised an eyebrow. "Y/N." He paused, his eyes narrowing. "Now, the next question, Y/N. How the hell'd you manage to survive out there on your own?"

Your stomach churled, fingers pressing tighter into the fabric of your sleeves.

Careful, you warned yourself, don't be suspicious.

"I… I got lucky." you bit your tongue subtly because of your stammer, not a great start.

Dean didn't buy it. His eyes narrowed, his expression hardening. "Yeah? You managed to survive out there all alone, just a girl? Guess we'll see how lucky you really are then."

Then his gaze dropped to your wrist.

Shit.

Before you could react, he stood up and walked to you in a few big steps, his hand shot out, grabbing your arm in an iron grip. His fingers burned against your cold skin as he yanked your sleeve up, exposing the tattoo you tried so hard to keep hidden. The triskelion and crescent moon stood out like a brand against your wrist.

Dean's eyes darkened, recognition passing in an instant.

"Son of a bitch." His voice was a growl as he shoved you back towards the timeworn couch behind, you gasped as you sat down, his hand already pulling a gun from his thigh-holster. The cold barrel pressed against the middle of your forehead, making you flinch.

"Wisteria Coven," he spat. "You wanna tell me why the hell you got this burned into your skin?"

Your mind started to race, you could swear your heart was going to jump out. You've seen that look countless times before. Disgust, anger, prjudgement, fea— No, not fear. More like precaution, this time. He wasn't just suspicious of you now. He knew what that symbol meant. Witches. Magic. Danger.

"I left them," you whispered, your voice cracking. "I'm not with them anymore."

Dean's grip tightened, and you could feel the muzzle pressing harder on your skin. "Yeah? You expect me to believe that? You've got five seconds to explain why I shouldn't gank you right here."

Your lips parted, trembling slightly as you spoke. "Please," you gulped, tears stinging your eyes. "I'm alone. They're dead. I didn't have a choice. Please— I'm not like them. I just want to live…"

Dean's finger hovered dangerously close to the trigger. He didn't move, didn't even blink as he stared into your eyes, searching for any hint of a lie or a fucked up trick.

I'm going to die.

It was all you could think. After everything you've been through and managed to survive somehow, this was how it would end.

Then, after what felt like an eternity, Dean cursed under his breath. "Goddammit." he muttered, lowering the gun. You let out a shaky breath, you raised your hands, showing no threat as you stood up slowly.

Oh, okay… He's not going to kill me. Not yet.

Dean shoved the gun back into his thigh-holster. "Fine," he said, voice cold. "But hear me, and hear me good— if you so much as think about casting some freaky-ass spell with your pretty little head, you're dead. No hesitation."

You nodded quickly, holding your wildly beating heart. "I won't. I swear."

Dean shot you one more look, like he debating whether you were worth the bullet. Then he shook his head, sighing. "You better not if you don't want me to open a hole on you."

He turned away, rubbing a hand over his face before grabbing a flashlight from the desk. "Come on," he said gruffly. "We ain't got any empty tents. And leaving you outside… Yeah, no. Not with the horny bastards out there."

Your feet stuttered mid-step. I'm sorry, the what? You followed him silently after you quickly noted that info, your heart still racing. You could feel the weight of the tattoo on your wrist like it was your death warrant.

I should've cut it off. I should've get rid of it somehow.

Dean didn't even bother to check if you were still behind him— just assumed you'd keep up probably. Which, honestly, was fair. You had no real options here, unless you'd suddenly develop a burning desire to sleep outside with the horny bastards. (You really, really wanted a clarification on that, but maybe later. When a gun hasn't been pointed at your head within the last ten minutes.)

Dean swinged the flashlight down a dim hallway, illuminating wood walls lined with old photographs and peeling beige wallpaper. The scent of dust, whiskey, and worn leather lingered in the air— lived-in, but not quite homey.

"You can stay in one of the rooms up here," he said, flashing the light down towards a room. "Bathroom's at the end of the hall. Don't touch my stuff. Don't wander around. And don't—"

"Cast spells..?" You finished for him, the ghost of a smile tugging at your lips.

Dean shot you a look over his shoulder, his lips twitching in what might’ve (?) been a smirk. "Smartass." He jerked his chin toward a door. "That one's yours. Get some sleep. You're gonna need it."

You hesitated, but curiosity overcame when he spoke like you were gonna have to go to school or army training tomorrow morning. "Why?"

Dean gave a low chuckle, running a hand through his hair. "Because this ain't a damn charity, sweetheart. Now that you're here, that means you gotta pull your weight. Everybody's got jobs. Patrol, hunting, supply runs, cleaning, cooking—" he leveled a serious look at you, "—and if you can't cook, I swear to God, don't try. Last thing we need is another food poisoning incident."

You bit your bottom lip, giving him a curious smile. "Oh? What happened?"

Dean's expression went flat and he rolled his eyes. "I'm not gonna name names, but someone —Jo— thought powdered eggs and canned chili were a match made in heaven. We lost good men that day."

You blinked, surprised. "They died?"

"No. But they wished they had. Anyway, I'll be on a supply run with some of my men tomorrow, you can look for chores you can manage. Just... don't cause trouble, don't start any witchy crap, and don't piss off the guys with guns. Most of 'em don't have my self-control."

You nodded, fingers curling tight around the doorknob. "Got it."

Dean gave you one last look, eyes flickering down your body with an unreadable gaze before exhaled sharply. "Good."

�� . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

You cracked your eyes open with the occasional talking of people outside and the singing of the birds, your breath fogging in the chill of the room. You blinked up at the ceiling, letting the silence settle around you for a moment.

Last night had been… intense, you really thought that leader was gonna blow your head off but he had a tiny bit of mercy, seemingly. It was gonna be real hard to convince him that you were trustworthy though…

But hey, at least you were alive, right? That was something.

You swung your legs over the side of the bed, your bare feet pressing into the worn floorboards. The clothes you found in the closet last night —a pair of jeans and a faded black sweater— fit well enough, though they smelled faintly of dust and men's cologne. You took a shower in the cramped bathroom before you went to bed last night, scrubbing away days of mud and blood.

Your eyes drifted to the window. The camp was waking up.

Guess I should figure out what I'm supposed to do here.

"Dean?" you called softly, stepping out into the hallway. Silence.

Of course, he wasn't here. He said he was gonna be on a supply run. He seemed like the kind of man who woke with the dawn anyway— or maybe never really slept at all. You bit your lip, debating your next move.

You needed a jacket before heading outside.

Your gaze lingered on a closed door down the hall. Dean's room.

Hell, no. You shook your head. Bad idea. You weren't that stupid to snoop around his stuff. So instead, you wandered into a smaller room that looked like storage. There were chests and boxes piled high, many of them covered in dust. You knelt down, popping open a large chest in the corner. Your fingers sifted through blankets, some old clothes, until something caught your eye— a worn brown hoodie.

It was big, way too big for you, but the fabric was soft, and it smelled clean. You pulled it on, the hem reaching past your hips, the sleeves covering your hands.

Cozy, good enough.

You stepped outside, squinting against the crowded part of the camp. People were already moving around, tending to tasks and chores. You stood there awkwardly, watching them. Some nodded and looked in your direction, but most seemed too busy to care.

Your eyes wandered to a tent with a small fire burning outside of it. A metal pot sat over the flames, steam curling from its spout. Coffee. Your mouth watered at the sight of it.

You approached shyly, feeling like an intruder, but no one seemed to stop you. You grabbed a freshly cleaned metal cup from a stack on the table and poured yourself some of the bitter liquid. The warmth of the cup against your hands was comforting, there was no sight of any food or anything like that near. You must've missed the breakfast, it seemed like you were stuck with coffee.

Better than nothing.

You walked around the camp, observing the layout. There were rows of tents, a few makeshift shelters, and the large cabin you were staying in with Dean. The air smelled of smoke and damp earth. It was quieter than you expected— almost peaceful.

As you passed by a woman and a man chatting near one of the tents, you couldn't help but to listen to their words.

"Dean's already out?" the woman asked.

"Left before dawn," the man replied. "Supply run into the city. The winter is doing its number on us again, nothing new. He's not gonna be back until evening, probably."

Your stomach clenched. Great. He's not gonna be here to keep an eye on me… or maybe that's worse. How the hell am I going to prove to him that I'm not a burden now? I could at least ask him about the ways I could help around here…

You were so lost in thought that you didn't see the small hole in the ground until it was too late. Your boot caught, and you stumbled forward, barely catching yourself before you fell.

The woman and man stopped talking, their eyes snapping to you directly. You straightened, pretending to brush dirt from your jeans with panic though you didn't even touch the floor.

"Uh— sorry…" you muttered, embarrassed. The man raised an eyebrow, and the woman gave a small, amused smile. Neither said anything, though, and you quickly turned on your heel, walking away.

What a great first impression.

Your hand brushed against the hot coffee cup, and you winced as you realized now, that a few drops of coffee must've been poured onto your hand when you stumbled. "Shit…" you hissed, shaking out your fingers.

Eventually, you found yourself near a large tree at the edge of the camp. The branches stretched wide, providing shade and a place to sit. You sank down at the base of the tree with a sigh, finally letting yourself relax.

"Seriously?" a voice came from the other side of the tree suddenly, making you jump. "Can't a man spend some quality time alone with his buddy at the end of the world?"

You scrambled to your feet, heart pounding. You peered around the tree to find a man sitting cross-legged on the ground, a small squirrel perched on his lap. His dark hair was slightly disheveled, and his eyes were piercing blue, looking up at you with a calm amusement.

"Oh— I didn't mean to interrupt," You stammered, taking a step back. "Shall I… go?"

The man chuckled, shaking his head. "No need. Sit." He patted the ground next to him. "I'm not gonna bite. Neither is she." He held the tiny paw of the squirrel and made it wave at you, making the squirrel turn its attention towards you as it was focused on eating a peanut seconds ago.

You smiled at the cute scene, hesitating before lowering yourself back down, keeping a distance. The squirrel watched you with curious eyes, its tiny paws still clutching the peanut.

"You're new here," the man said, his voice soft but steady. "What's your name?"

You hugged the hoodie tighter as a breeze came along, answering softly. "Y/N."

"I'm Castiel," the man said after a moment. He offered you a hand. "And this—" he gestured to the squirrel— "is Themis."

You frowned as you shook his hand, noting the strength in his grip. "Themis? Like… the goddess?"

Castiel's lips quirked into a faint smile. "Yes. The goddess of justice."

You glanced at the squirrel, who seemed far more interested in nibbling on its food than… dispensing justice.

Castiel chuckled knowingly before you could ask the obvious question, eager to talk about his little buddy. "She brought me justice once."

You tilted your head, curious. "How so?"

"Someone stole my bag of nuts one day," Castiel explained. "I didn't notice until I saw her dragging the bag back to me." He paused, stroking Themis's fur. "She carried it all the way across camp, like a tiny Lady Justice. She brought it back to me— every last one."

You smirked as you glanced at the squirrel, then back at Castiel. "Or she stole them for herself and felt bad about it."

Castiel chuckled. "Could be."

You couldn't help the quiet laugh that escaped your lips, the tension in your shoulders easing just a bit. Sitting there with Castiel and Themis felt so normal and peaceful despite the chaos of the world, you finally managed to make a friend— sorry, friends without them pointing a gun at you. Cool.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

The late afternoon sun hung low in the sky, casting long shadows over Camp Chitaqua. You wiped the sweat from your brow, leaning on your shovel as you surveyed the area. You've spent hours cleaning up the trash, clearing leaves, and dragging fallen branches away from the main paths.

Themis, Castiel's squirrel, had been darting around your feet for the past hour, playfully chasing the movement of the shovel as if it were a game. Every time you dug into the ground, the little creature scurried after it, its fluffy tail flicking in excitement.

"Shoo…" You murmured, trying to gently nudge Themis away with your boot. "You're gonna get hurt."

But Themis was energetic and determined. She darted in closer, pouncing at the dirt you were moving.

This squirrel is relentless.

You shifted your grip on the shovel and swung it to scoop up more debris— only to feel a soft thud against the wood.

"Oh, shit." you dropped the shovel immediately, your eyes wide.

Themis let out a startled squeak and stumbled backwards, her little body shaking.

"I'm so sorry!" you knelt down quickly, reaching out a hand to pet her and check if she was alright. "Are you okay?"

From across the camp, Castiel's head snapped up. His conversation with a pair of women —who were clearly charmed by him— ended abruptly as he ran over.

"Themis!" he gasped, dropping to his knees beside the squirrel. He gently scooped her up, cradling her in his hands like she was a baby. "Are you hurt, my little goddess?"

You bit your lip, guilt flooding your chest. "I didn't mean to— she was playing with the shovel, and I—"

Castiel held up a hand, silencing you. He inspected Themis carefully before letting out a dramatic sigh of relief. "She's fine."

You let out a breath you haven't realized you were holding. "Thank god."

Castiel glanced at you with a playful smirk. "Themis is forgiving, but the goddess of justice does not forget. Karma will come for you soon enough."

You couldn't help but chuckle at his theatrics. "I'll keep that in mind."

As Castiel set Themis down gently on the ground, a low rumble echoed through the camp. You glanced towards the entrance, where three large black jeeps rolled in, their tires kicking up dust.

The vehicles came to a stop, and men began piling out, carrying bags and crates of supplies.

Dean was the first to step out, his green eyes scanning the camp as he ran a hand through his hair. His expression was hard and tired. Before he could take two steps, the woman who saw you stumble earlier in the morning marched towards him, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Dean," she snapped, "you could've told me you were heading to the city. I would've come with you."

Dean gave her a glance, his jaw tightening. "Not now, Risa."

"But—"

"I said, not now." His tone left no room for argument.

Risa huffed in frustration but didn't push further. Dean continued walking, giving instructions to the men unloading supplies. His gaze swept over the camp, and then it landed on you.

He froze mid-step.

You shifted nervously, your shovel still in hand. Dean's eyes darkened as they locked onto the brown hoodie you were wearing, for a moment, shock flickered across his face.

Then came the anger.

His jaw clenched, and he stormed towards you, eyes narrowing as he closed the distance.

"Y/N," he called out, voice sharp.

Your heart pounded as he towered over you, that expression of his face alone made you feel way more afraid than when he pointed a gun at you yesterday.

"Where the hell did you get that?!" he demanded, voice low yet barely hiding the rage behind it.

You blinked. "I—I needed something warm, so I found this in the storage room—"

"That's not storage." Dean's voice was sharp, like a blade cutting through the air between you. "That's my house."

Your stomach dropped. "I didn't mean to—"

"Did you snoop around?" His voice rose, drawing attention from a few nearby people. "Did you go through my stuff?"

"No!" You shook your head quickly. "I just needed a jacket. I swear I didn't touch anything else."

Dean's jaw clenched, his hands balling into fists at his sides. His gaze flicked back to the hoodie, and for a brief moment, something raw flashed in his eyes— pain, maybe, or grief.

It wasn't just a hoodie.

It belonged to someone.

Someone who mattered a lot to him.

Dean took a step closer, looking down at you coldly. His voice dropped to a growl. "Don't. Go. In. My house. Ever. Again."

You swallowed hard, nodding. "Okay. I'm sorry."

Dean stared at you for a long moment before letting out a frustrated sigh. Without a word, he turned on his heel and stalked off, leaving you standing there, confused and humiliated.

Castiel wandered over, his hands in his pockets.

"Don't take it personally," he said, offering you a sympathetic smile. "Dean… carries a lot of baggage."

You glanced down at the hoodie you were wearing, your fingers brushing over the worn fabric. Your bottom lip quivered as you nodded, trying not to cry because of guilt. You felt Castiel's arm wrapping around your shoulder hesitantly, he patted your back gently to soothe you.

"Karma," he said softly, tilting his head towards Themis, who was jumping around his boots. "It works fast."

You gave him a weak chuckle, but inside, your chest felt tight.

I shouldn't be here.

[sastielsfandom]

Truly, best decision made in First Comes Naps... was making Andy and Castiel best friends, who most definitely get high together, eat a bunch of junk food while watching bad television or cartoons.

[amarriageoftrueminds]

I've seen people try to excuse it by claiming Steve created a new timeline where he fixed everything horrible that happened in his timeline but:

you can't claim that a movie portrays something when it literally physically does not. Not only is Steve creating a new timeline not shown in the movie it's not even referenced, not even in a single throwaway line of dialogue!

(You wouldn't need to make shit up to say Steve did it to explain things if the ending had actually made sense as-shown and been in-character. Ditto showing us a Peggy who's supposed to be in her 50s but doesn't look it -- because that would highlight how fucking weird this whole thing is -- while ignoring that she's working in a "quasi-fascistic black site." Steve going cruising for GILFs in a Hydra base? It's like something out of Deadpool it's so moronic.)

Even if Steve had egotistically made a new timeline, that still doesn't address the fact that a lot of those horrible things in the original timeline happened because of Peggy, the person we're supposed to believe Steve would give a shut up ring. She hired both Zola and Fennhoff to SHIELDra -- jointly responsible for the Winter Soldier and the rise of Hydra in the 20th century. So how can Steve be 'fixing' the horrifying timeline while married to the person responsible for the horror? Is he going back to teach Peggy how to be an actual good person? To poison the wedding cake??

Even if he had made a new timeline, that still means Steve abandoned 'his' Bucky to go and protect a version of Bucky who doesn't have all of his Bucky's trauma, and marry the person responsible for it... Which is just. despicably cruel.

(And that's before you add on that it leaves Bucky alone, as the 'man out of time', the only person in the future who remembers 'their' time, which Steve's whole ending depends on us believing is a terrible thing to happen to you. But it's fine if Steve did that to Bucky...? Is it in-character for Steve to get Bucky back from the dead and then immediately ditch him in the cruelest way imaginable?)

On top of burdening Sam with a difficult legacy, with no thanks and no help for the transition, Steve's ending also means he has done nothing to bring Natasha back from the dead, despite having all six magical stones that can do anything including bringing people back from the dead. And old-Steve, in their present, also did nothing about any of his friend's problems.

On top of which, Steve's ending (returning all the Infinity Stones from the place and time they were taken) means he met with Red Skull, aka the Nazi so extreme he thought Adolf Hitler was mid, who had just murdered Natasha... and instead of fighting him, Steve gave him an Infinity Stone? (Is it in-character for Steve to quite literally empower Nazis and ignore that they murdered his personal friends?)

Since day 1, the MCU has been chipping away at Steve's decent characterisation with this subplot of 'okay yeah he's saved the world and made friends or whatever 🙄 but does it really count as happiness unless he has also attained pussy in a god-honouring way??' 🤩

And annoying as that was, it was more or less tolerable because they kept the rest of him in-character.

But that shit collapses if he isn't otherwise 90% in-character and the plot completely salts and burn every established trait just to make comphet happen.

Guys, I know it was five years ago but Steve’s ending still makes me so mad, like are you seriously going to tell me that he left to go live a life with Peggy and didnt even try to stop the pain and torture that he knew his best friend since childhood was enduring?? I can kind of get over him living with peggy, like, I get it, he’d been fighting his whole life and he just wanted some peace, and if living with peggy meant peace for him than that’s understandable, but the fact that he knew what was happening to bucky and did nothing to stop it, despite fighting tooth and nail to protect him ever since he learned he was alive, just doesn’t sit right with me

[am3ricanpsycho420]

castiel/fem!reader

18+

summary: You had been avoiding Castiel due to your feelings for him. Until you got sick of hiding.

warnings: fluff, smut, not proof read!

You’d been hunting with Sam and Dean for awhile. You enjoyed having them around. It was way better than the solo hunting you had been doing for the past couple of years.

Through your time with the two brothers you’d met many characters. Many bright,colorful, and frankly weird people/monsters. You didn’t mind, but majority of these people ended up being against you and in the business of hurting you.

One of the exceptions to that was Castiel. An Angel of the Lord. You were stunned, it was quite hard to wrap your head around the fact that angels are real. Even with everything you saw on the daily it was weird.

Although, there had been some bumps through you guys friendship with Castiel, he remained someone who stayed in your good grace. He was just so sweet to you, you could never stay mad at him.

You always tried to keep yourself out of relationships. With being a hunter it was not easy to maintain them. Almost all of your relationships had failed up to this point, so you gave up. Although, when you met Castiel it was hard to not blush and laugh at everything he said. You were never like this with anyone, even Dean and his continual platonic flirting.

The boys knew something was up when you left every time Castiel was around. You didn’t wanna make him uncomfortable and make things awkward, so you chose to avoid him. But you were getting pretty tired of hiding your feelings.

Once Sam and Dean realized your true feelings they started to tease you. Making little jokes and saying things to Castiel that he didn’t understand just to rile you up. It was driving you crazy, so you decided no more evading him and you were going to tell him how you felt.

While sitting in the library of the bunker you heard the all too familiar swoosh of Castiel wings. “Hello Castiel” you said to him happily

“Hi Y/N, where are Sam and Dean?” he said in his monotone voice

“wow don’t act so happy to see me” you said while rolling your eyes knowing he probably wouldn’t get the joke.

“well of course I am always happy to see you Y/N but I have some things I need to discuss with them” he said nervously while avoiding eye contact with you.

“you do know that I am also a hunter and involved with all the affairs around here, if you have a question you can just ask me” his statement struck you as weird because you were up to date on all the information on your guys latest hunt.

“Yes I am aware, it’s just something more personal, about the human experience, although I’ve been coming down here for a long time I’m still quite confused when it comes to love and relationships” he said to you confessing.

“Well Cas I understand if you want to talk to them, but I’m also pretty well versed in what it’s like to be a human so let me know if I can help, if not they should be in their rooms” you said, and before you could even blink he was gone.

You were hoping he’d ask you the question and it would give you the opportunity to actually talk to him and interact but clearly that was not in the cards for today.

——————-

Castiels swift exit led him to deans room

“jesus Cas, I told you dont come up on me like that” Dean said rolling his eyes while already annoyed at this interaction.

“Sorry, I just have some questions pertaining to the human ways of love and relationships” Castiel admitted.

“uh yeah, to be honest I am not the best to ask with being a hunter it’s hard to remain in one but go ahead and ask” Dean said while motioning for him to go on.

“If you had romantic feelings for someone, but they are always avoiding you what would you do?” Castiel let out on one quick breath feeling relieved he finally got the question off his chest.

“Ohhh this is about Y/N, look just tell her how you feel, don’t tell her that i’m telling you this but she likes you and just doesn’t wanna say anything” Dean said but immediately after Cas had already disappeared.

“You’re welcome Castiel” Dean said angrily while looking up at the roof.

—————

You continued to research in the library, taking the occasional breaks to check your phone and stretch. At the end of the day you rewarded yourself with a nice cold drink.

As you grabbed your glass and went to turn around you came abruptly to a halt due to Castiel being in your way.

“Hi Cas”

“Hi Y/N” he replied

you stared at him wondering if he would continue on his own. Assessing that he wouldn’t you asked, “So did the boys answer your love questions?”

“Yes, Dean said I should just tell someone how I am feeling”

“That’s good, you should always do that, you know Castiel I am always here if you need anything, I’m sorry I haven’t been around you a lot” you admitted to him.

“That is okay although I will admit it does make me sad. I have recently discovered that I have romantic feelings for you. I know I don’t know much about relationships I will hope you would give me a chance” he said with a slight smile

“Really?” you asked

“Of course, I have for a long time I just did not know what was going on”

“Well I would love to go on a date with you Castiel”

———

This was my first long fic, pls let me know what you guys think and if you want a smut part 2!!!

[according2thelore]

hi! Been seeing some of ur es/ls fics here and do you have a master linkcfor all of r writing? I really want to find the very dirst one and read from there and get with ur wonderful lore/plot!

hi!

consider this the official ES/LS verse masterlist! i will try to be diligent about updating it, but apologies if i miss anything!

(for those that are new [ hi! :) ], ES = early seasons, LS = late seasons, this is a time travel AU that i've been working on where early seasons (ES) sam and dean end up at the bunker with late seasons (LS) sam and dean)

first official one!

age gap

ES thirsting over LS brothers

finding out LS!Bros are together

making references

talking about john winchester

ES!Dean noticing LS!Sam's "pockmarks"

ES!Sam jealousy (ficlet)

ES!Dean not knowing how to help LS!Sam

discussing ES!Sam and ES!Dean

ES!Sam's thoughts on their life

making references (ficlet)

ES!Dean yearning (ficlet)

the steak one (ficlet)

sam runs away

meeting their friends

taking the spark plugs out of cars

first hunt (ficlet)

foursome (ficlet)

LS!Boys set up ES!Boys (ficlet)

ES!Dean wants to dote

ES!Sam feeling like the last choice

mommy ES Dean vs LS Dean

ES!sam gets injured (ficlet)

showing off sexually for ES!Sam

ES!Sam insecurity

ES!Dean/LS!Sam kissing and resulting drama (ficlet)

how are LS!Sam&Dean similar to John

LS!Boys set up confession with ES!Sam (ficlet)

not stealing firsts

first LS!Sam jealousy

proposing a foursome (ficlet)

unsympathetic LS!Sam

sequel to LS!Boys set up confession

ES!Boys dealing with LS!Boys' conflict

ES!Sam notices the no samulet on LS!Dean

ES!Sam finds The Voicemail (ficlet)

@/whoopsitswincest and i chatting about the verse

LS!Sam jealousy Pt. 2 (ficlet)

ES!Dean being adoring of LS!Sam and LS!Sam is a mess about it (ficlet)

ES!Sam calling LS!Sam "pathetic" (ficlet)

ES!Boys are together, but LS!Boys are not

LS!Sam thinks he's back in the Cage when he sees ES!Dean (ficlet)

deans getting protective over both sams negative feelings about each other (ficlet)

ES!Dean & LS!Sam "come talk to me when ES!YouTwo find it out" (ficlet)

ES!&LS!Brothers & apologies

omegaverse bonus!

a little text break bc tumblr won't let me make this one contiguous list for some reason?

ES!Sam asks LS!Dean what ES!Dean likes in bed (ficlet)

cas brings up the demon blood to ES!Sam

ES!Dean makes LS!Sam laugh and LS!Dean does not take it well (ficlet)

anon writes in about LS!Boys date night/dancing

ES!Sam&LS!Sam talk about dean's habits and ES!Dean&LS!Dean talk about sam's habits (ficlet)

discussion of ES!Sam 'forgiving' LS!Sam

whether LS!Dean would feel comfortable talking about sex with ES!Sam

foursome dynamics!! (banger)

ES!Dean taking ES!Sam's side over LS!Sam (ficlet)

old!Sam in the ES/LS verse (ficlet, kinda)

ES!Brothers are jealous over how close castiel and the LS!Brothers are--they fear they're in a throuple

ES!Brothers find one of chuck's "supernatural" books (ficlet)

LS!Brothers get irritated by ES!Brothers' annoying old habits

continuation of "LS!Sam thinks he's back in the Cage when he sees ES!Dean" (ficlet) & talk of ES!Sam accidentally triggering LS!Dean

anon writes in about an argument b/w ES!&LS!Sam about john; discussion of how their perspective changes over the years

ES!Dean letting himself go full-tilt mommy over LS!Sam, who loves it (ficlet, kind of)

ES!Sam has a vision of LS!Brothers killing someone (ficlet, kind of)

i don't have a hard-and-fast masterlist, but i collect the things i write under the tag #lizzy writes (linked here), and that includes things like things i've written in the tags or as additions to other posts!

thank you so much for asking!!! :) i hope you have fun scrolling through the (frankly embarrassing) amount of fic i've got loaded up for this verse!

-lizzy <3

[emo-markie]

I need end!verse supernatural ejected into my veins it's just so cool oh my god it's so angsty and miserable and it has zombies and castiel is smoking weed and organising orgies and lucifer is possessing sam which is horrifically wonderful and also he's serving cunt in a white suit and dean is just absolutely broken what the fuck were the writers consuming when writing that episode oh god

[fandom]

Ships

Week Ending July 31st, 2023

Ineffable Husbands +2 Aziraphale & Crowley, Good Omens

Ineffable Bureaucracy Archangel Gabriel & Beelzebub, Good Omens

Destiel +6 Dean Winchester & Castiel, Supernatural

Steddie Steve Harrington & Eddie Munson, Stranger Things

Ballister x Ambrosius -3 Ballister Boldheart & Ambrosius Goldenloin, Nimona

Zelink Zelda & Link, The Legend of Zelda

Hannigram +8 Hannibal Lecter & Will Graham, Hannibal

Rayllum +11 Callum & Rayla, The Dragon Prince

Vashwood +5 Vash the Stampede & Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Trigun Stampede

Satosugu +1 Gojo Satoru & Geto Suguru, Jujutsu Kaisen

Ghostsoap -3 Simon “Ghost” Riley & John “Soap” MacTavish, the Call of Duty franchise

Geraskier Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier, The Witcher

Byler -3 Will Byers & Mike Wheeler, Stranger Things

Imodna -13 Imogen Temult & Laudna, Critical Role

Lestappen Charles Leclerc & Max Verstappen, Formula 1 drivers

Ladynoir Ladybug & Chat Noir, Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir

Jegulus James Potter & Regulus Black, the Harry Potter universe

Punkflower -11 Hobie Brown & Miles Morales, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Wangxian Lan Wangji & Wei Wuxian, Mo Dao Zu Shi

Wolfstar Remus Lupin & Sirius Black, the Harry Potter universe

The number in italics indicates how many spots a ship moved up or down from the previous week. Bolded ships weren’t on the list last week.

[teathirty]

Anyone else think about Destiel going cannon over and over again since the show's end as Castiel shouting through the multi-verse that even if their love isn't allowed in one universe, he still loves Dean in every universe or are you guys normal

[ladylilithprime]

Day 4: Birthday

SAM WINCHESTER WAS just about to turn twenty-four when he was abducted by a Prince of Hell and thrown into a death tournament which he did not survive because he refused to kill another psychic human kid like him. He was just turned twenty-five the day his brother's deal to bring him back from the dead came due and Dean was dragged to Hell by the hellhounds. His twenty-sixth birthday was the last thing on his mind the day he went to kill Lilith to stop the Apocalypse only to learn too late that her death was the Final Seal to break and ensure that Lucifer walked free. And he was only just twenty-seven when his love for Dean helped him wrench control of his body back from a Fallen Archangel and drop them both into the Cage to be sealed away again, Michael and Adam dragged along for the ride when the eldest Archangel tried to stop him.

Sam's reckoning of his birthday got a lot more fuzzy after that point, what with his soul trapped down in the Cage while his body wandered around for a year and a half without him. Dean had once confessed to a similar disorientation regarding his own age, particularly the question of whether or not to count the four months spent dead verses the forty years his soul spent in Hell. He hadn't felt much like celebrating what should have been his thirtieth birthday in the middle of the Apocalypse, and neither of them had paid much attention to birthdays in the years since then.

So it was a bit of a jolt when Dean came up to Sam and clapped him on the shoulder, saying, "Well, Sammy, the big three-oh! What'cha wanna do for it?"

"I don't," Sam said after a moment of floundering as he scrambled to identify what his brother was even talking about. "We didn't celebrate your thirtieth, so why bother with mine?"

"C'mon, Sammy," Dean almost whines, looking supremely uncomfortable. "I wasn't in a good place that time, you know that."

"Well I haven't been in a good place on my birthday for over five years now," Sam pointed out, just barely restraining the urge to snap. He saw the moment Dean, thinking back, actually remembered what had been happening on or around Sam's birthdays for the last several years. "Yeah. There's a lot of anniversaries sharing the date that I don't feel like celebrating."

Dean had backed off after that, for which Sam was grateful. He didn't think he could have actually admitted to Dean's face that one of the reasons he didn't feel like celebrating was because he couldn't see a point in celebrating the birth of Lucifer's Vessel, Azazel's favorite, the demon-blooded abomination he had once tried to convince his young parents not to even conceive.

HE SHOULD HAVE known that wouldn't be the end of it.

"Okay, so the actual day has some bad memories attached that make it awkward for you to celebrate on, I get that," Dean said when he ambushed Sam in the library of the Bunker, startling Sam and causing Castiel to look up curiously. "So what if we pick a date, like, two weeks after that without any of those negative associations and make that your new birthday to celebrate?"

"Dean," Sam groaned in protest, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I really don't care enough to celebrate at all, regardless of the date!"

"Are birthdays something important in your culture to celebrate?" Castiel asked, frowning in confusion when Dean said "yes" at the same time that Sam said "no".

"It's complicated, Cas," Sam sighed, ever the more patient one with explaining human things to their angel friend. "Birthdays and birthday parties mostly tend to be focused on young children or the elderly, marking another year surviving to reach adulthood or into advanced age. Many people also use it as an excuse to solicit gifts from others, or even just an excuse to have cake and ice cream."

"Wow, cynical much?" Dean grumbled, holding up his hands when Sam glared at him. "But see, that's kinda my point. I know we didn't celebrate my thirtieth, but it's not like hunters tend to live very long once they start hunting!"

"Hunters also tend to be less inclined to celebrate their birthdays with more than a shot or six at a bar," Sam pointed out with a roll of his eyes. "Not my idea of a good time."

"Would you prefer cake and ice cream?" Castiel asked with a curious tilt of his head.

"I'd prefer not to even bother," Sam muttered. When Castiel continued to look at him expectantly, he sighed and said, "Look, whether by accident or design on the part of any number of beings, my birthday just... really isn't a good day, and the surrounding days aren't much better. Too many 'end of the world' situations cropping up on or around it, and even when we were kids about the only person who bothered marking it was Dean. I don't know why he's so eager to celebrate this year, especially after practically snapping at me to ignore his own, but I'd just as soon not."

"I see," Castiel said in a measured tone that immediately put Sam on edge. Before he could say anything or even pray for Castiel to stop, the angel said evenly, "You do not believe that your existence is worth celebrating."

Sam got up from the table, ignoring Castiel's penetrating gaze and Dean's stricken one, and left the library.

IT WAS CASTIEL who found him hiding in his room later. The angel who was most used to bypassing thresholds to fly directly into whichever room the person he sought might inhabit showed a marked restraint and consideration for personal privacy and boundaries by knocking lightly on the door and waiting for Sam's mumbled "come in" before nudging it open enough to enter. "Hey, Cas."

"Sam," Castiel returned, coming to a stop just inside the door, as if unsure of how far he should enter the room. "I apologize if I misspoke earlier."

"You didn't," Sam sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. "I mean, I kinda wish you hadn't said it in front of Dean, but it is what it is and it's not like you were wrong."

"Much like Dean, you do not wish to burden your brother with the pain you carry inside yourself," Castiel murmured. "Sam... are you so resistent to celebrating your birth and continued existence because Dean has refused to celebrate his own?"

"That's... part of it," Sam acknowledged. He didn't really want to get into all the reasons he felt that celebrating his birthday was a worthless and frankly inappropriate endeavor, not with Castiel and not when he knew the number of birthdays he even had left to him once the Trials were complete would be numbered zero. That was definitely a conversation he wasn't ready to have, though, so he refocused. "I mean, celebrating my birthday while ignoring his? That's like some weird double standard of favoritism, and I don't want to encourage that crap."

"I see," Castiel hummed thoughtfully. "Sam? What is the significance to turning thirty years old?"

"Not much," Sam answered with a half-shrug. "It's a decade marker, a big round number that makes it slightly more significant to reach than just counting one year after another. Thirty, forty, fifty... it's more of a minor milestone than anything else, at least until around sixty-five or so."

"Then perhaps Dean would accept a compromise," Castiel suggested. "Dean will be turning forty in five years and eight months. If he will agree to allow you to celebrate that day, perhape you might agree to allow him to celebrate your fortieth birthday when it comes to pass?"

It was so like Castiel to try and find a compromise for them like this, and Sam didn't have the heart to admit to the angel why he knew it wouldn't happen.

"Sure, Cas," he said instead. "If Dean'll let me make a big fuss for him on his fortieth birthday, I'll let him celebrate however he wants for mine."

"May I inform Dean of the suggestion and your agreement?" Castiel asked, and left Sam's room when Sam nodded, presumably to go find Dean. Oh, well. Hopefully Castiel wouldn't be too disappointed when Sam didn't make it to summer.

THE GRANITE STONE bore the name "Dean Campbell" and the inscription "There'll be peace when you are done," along with Dean Winchester's birth year and only the most recent date of death. It had been very tempting to put down every single date that Dean had died in a column marching down the stone, but that would have raised too many eyebrows in the public cemetery. As it was, the plot was small and held a ceramic urn with the salted ashes left behind after the hunter's funeral Dean had been given. The other side of the stone remained blank, a stark testament to the fact that the space beside Dean remained unoccupied by a matching urn and with no sure plan of when it would be filled.

Sam slowly let out the breath in his lungs and crouched down before the headstone, absently clearing away a few weeds that were trying to grow up over the base. He didn't speak; there was nothing left to say that hadn't been said in a barn surrounded by beheaded bodies. No point, either, since he knew there was no one listening... no one he wanted to hear him.

With a hand that only shook a little, Sam set an empty shot glass in front of the engraved words and filled it with cheap whiskey from an old metal flask. A matching shot glass was lifted and filled, and then Sam set aside the flask and clinked his shot glass against the one waiting.

Happy birthday to me, he thought with a sad, wistful little smile. He picked up the other shot glass and poured it out over the grass where he knew the urn was buried as he downed his own shot, closing his eyes against the burn that was more from tears than alcohol.

"Sam," a soft voice called from behind him. Sam stiffened and twisted around, wondering who the hell would approach him in a cemetery and say his name like that--

His breath caught.

The vessel was different. Whether that was because the body of Jimmy Novak had been taken directly from Earth by the Empty or some other reason, it was not that familiar face and frame standing before him. Not even that stupid tan overcoat remained after that. The dark hair was similar, as were the blue eyes, but everything else was different. Softer and thinner and more like that one vessel he remebered being described from a trip back in time. And yet Sam couldn't help but recognize Castiel in the woman standing there, from the strong posture and curiously tilted head to the faint shadow of wings hovering behind her shoulders.

"Dean wishes for me to apologize for him that he cannot be here to celebrate with you," the angel said softly, reaching out a hand and helping Sam to his feet when he took it automatically. "He hopes that I will make an acceptable substitute and birthday gift." A pause, and then, awkwardly, Castiel added, "I was given a bow to put in my hair if you wish."

Sam snorted, helplessly, and then with the dam broken he dissolved into helpless laughter and pulled Castiel into a tight hug. Not the brother who had promised to celebrate with him, but the angel who had made that promise happen. Substitute, no, but gift? He'd take it.

And he swore he would keep this gift for as long as he could.

[phoenixmuses]

The hunter's heart sank as he heard those final words echoing around his mind. Goodbye, Dean. There was an eerie silence that settled in as the angel vanished in the inky tar, the abyss swallowing him whole before Dean had a chance to even utter a single protest or admission of his own feelings. Countless times, he had been broken, beaten, left for dead, tormented in Hell — but those were the words that could have truly killed him.

"Cas?" he croaked out, a swell of emotions crashing against his chest as he glanced around the empty chamber. The angel always came when he called, right? But this time, there was no response; no warm presence, no flapping wings, no 'Hello, Dean.' A sense of dread wove through the hunter, hands coming up to cradle his head and fingers running through his hair as tears formed in his eyes.

For what seemed like ages, he sat there against the brick wall, trying to make some semblance of sense to it all. There was a mix of grief, loss, anger, confusion, and a sense of betrayal swirling inside him, a dangerous storm that threatened to engulf Dean entirely. How could Castiel cut a deal without them again, after everything they had gone through? How could the angel abandon him without a second thought? How could he think that he was saving Dean when he had damned him to a life without him?

Over the next several months, they worked tirelessly to defeat Chuck; when they had successfully accomplished their goal, Jack had become God, utilizing his new position to fix the damage that Chuck had caused. Meanwhile, Dean had been irritable and restless, drinking much more heavily, and full of rage, much to Jack and Sam's dismay. Still, when all was said and done, there was a pit that Dean couldn't quite fill. Unfinished business, things left unsaid and undone, eating away at him in dreams and in his waking life.

There came a day when Sam and Jack had finally found something they thought might help, although it was a long-shot and held the potential for disaster. But neither of them could see Dean like this anymore, and despite the risks, it was worth a shot if it meant Dean could have something worth fighting for. So, they formulated a careful plan together. Then, Sam waited patiently until Dean was in a decent mood, knowing that the outcome could go either way if it wasn't pitched carefully...

Glancing over the ancient text intently, a flicker of something akin to hope and disbelief ignited in Dean's chest. His eyes widened and he met Sam's uncertain gaze, lips parted slightly as if to speak, but the words were stuck in his throat. Dean wasted no time, eagerly scouring through all their resources and — with a bit of help from Jack and Rowena — they had completed the spell.

There, forming in the very chamber he had lost Castiel in, was a backdoor into the Empty.

"Goodbye, Dean."

He placed one hand on the hunter's shoulder, at the very same spot he'd first held his soul when he'd raised him from hell all those years ago. Before Dean had a chance to react, Castiel shoved him out of the way, away from the danger. With one last tearful look at the man he loved, he turned to face his death with a smile.

Dean Winchester was saved.

He held onto that thought as the Empty swallowed him and dragged him into an endless sleep, as it tortured him with the memories of his failures and regrets; Jimmy, Anna, Balthazar, Purgatory, the leviathan, the Great Fall, Lucifer... There were far too many to count. Years of self-hate and loneliness, of feeling expendable and useless.

Yet, despite it all, he'd succeeded at his mission. He'd told Dean all he needed, and in doing so had saved him one last time. There was no doubt in his mind that the Winchesters and Jack would be able to defeat Chuck. They'd overcome impossible odds many times before. His sacrifice had not been in vain. Dean Winchester was saved.

@phoenixmuses

[kiteblue42]

Is Eric Kripke America’s Tolkien?

So I started Supernatural for the first time around 6 months ago for which I blame Tumblr entirely (where do I claim compensation?). In fact it’s very good and fun and I can’t believe I missed it when it was live.

Ok so bear with me I’ve been sick for a few days a combination of high temperature plus rings of power trailer drop may be making me delusional, but I got to thinking … why did this show have such a hold not just on this site, but also on so many fan artists and fan fic writers. (I mean it has a strangle hold on Ao3)?

Then the RoP trailer dropped and I got to thinking is it because it world builds from a US stand point like Tolkien world built from a European standpoint?

Then because I am sick and can’t sleep I am sharing my stream of consciousness o: Kripke as Tolkien, Sam as Sam, John Winchester as Gandalf, Castiel as Beleg and Dean as Turin Turambar - and maybe now I’ve got this out of my head I’ll feel better….:

I attempted to put this under a cut so hope it worked!

:readmore:

Source material

Most modern fantasy stands on the shoulders of JRR Tolkien who basically ingested a ton of European myths and languages (with focus on Northern Europe) and spat out the middle earth legendarium.

Eric Kripke (plus writing team) seems to have ingested a ton of US urban myths and US pop culture and spat out “Supernatural-verse”. Because it is *US myth making* it is distinct from a lot of other US writing that builds off Tolkien and / or European myth arcs (I’m looking at you Star Wars, Westeros etc).

And the themes and sensibilities therefore pulled out by Kripke are *not* the same as Tolkien’s themes and sensibilities. This makes it different to a lot of modern genre fiction (in whatever form) that either builds on or seeks to subvert the themes in Tolkien’s work.

(There’s also a lot of genre fiction that is satire or allegory for the real world, but that is another category to me and not really world building in the same way - incidentally the Boys fits into that category along with Good Omens).

Both ofc back end off the Bible but this is English literature based story telling and no one escapes the Bible or the bard.

Structure

We usually think of Tolkien in terms of:

(1) Hobbit - entry level nicely structured “there and back again” story for children, darker than expected. Main hero arc -Bilbo.

(2) Lord of the Rings - the pretty perfect fantasy master piece - very accessible clear meaningful themes and tidy /satisfactory ending. A number of hero arcs, but clearest drawn are Frodo / Sam.

(3) Silmarillion (&etc) - this is where the legendarium really gets built. It’s not neat, it’s not accessible, some of it is *not* a good read but the ideas here build the world. We have a creation myth. The “good” “wise” guys turn out to be more complex and flawed than we thought. The evil guys are extremely toxic but entertaining and bring the drama. There are epic doomed romances between immortal beings and mortal beings. Everyone messes up and makes catastrophic world destroying errors on the regular. People get cursed and can’t escape their doom. I can’t think of any real traditional hero arcs (maybe Beren or Luthien??). Note Tolkien didn’t finish this and it’s put together by someone else.

Now let’s do Supernatural

(1) seasons 1-3 - Horror procedural-

Entry level solid procedural hunting / horror story. Sam W is here in the traditional hero role. Dean is like your Thorin initiating the adventure. John Winchester is in the Gandalf role (he knows what’s going on and holds the secrets but is not available to the adventurers at all times). Maybe there something deeper and darker going on? This is your Hobbit equivalent very accessible but not particularly unique.

(2) season 4-5 - myth arc - lots of fans will say this is the perfect part of the story and a masterpiece of genre writing. It’s neat with clear meaningful themes and a tidy satisfactory ending. A number of hero arcs though Sam’s remains the most clearly drawn. Dean is more like your Aragorn or Faramir at the end of 5, Bobby in the mold of a Theoden and a Castiel in sort of Gandalf type position. Baby ofc is Shadowfax. This is your LoTR equivalent

(3) seasons 6 - 15 - the Legendarium- this gets a lot of criticism but it’s where the legendarium really gets built. It’s not neat, it’s not that accessible, some of it is not great to watch, but the ideas here build the world out. We have a creation myth (hello Chuck & Amara). We have hero doomed by the narrative (most notably Dean Winchester, though also Castiel). We have epic love stories between mortals and immortals. Yes I am comparing Dean & Cas to Beren & Luthien (!) though Turin & Beleg would perhaps be more appropriate (there’s a good case for Dean = Turin in this universe). The good guys turn out to be more complex or darker than we thought. The evil guys are extremely toxic but entertaining and bring the drama.

There aren’t really any straightforward hero arcs which is one of the reasons Sam fades out a bit and Dean comes forwards as a character. The stories are messy and tragic.

Landscape

Middle Earth - if you read the books or watch the movies or show it’s clear that Tolkien’s (sub)creation is a love letter to the mountains, lakes and woods of England and Europe. It’s also a cry of anguish for their destruction. Both the beauty and destruction are heightened (Europe doesn’t really look like this and really never did - as for the movies they were shot in anew Zealand and then digitally enhanced…) This is as important as the characters and plot - and stands out in particular in the Hobbit and LoTR where there are long descriptions of landscapes (or long shots of the same in movies / shows).

“Middle Americana” - it’s clear that as much importance was put into the look of the landscapes in Supernatural as to the characters or story. In this verse the look is long open roads, beautiful mountains and big skies that are a declaration of love for America, and the run down small towns seem to present wistful sadness. But again it’s not real it’s heightened. The cinematography in first few seasons is particularly thoughtful (and perhaps Kim Manners is to be thanked for that). The show is shot in Canada and the motels / gas stations in middle of no where needed to be built because they didn’t exist in reality. Again the landscape - the open road, the small towns, the big sky, the motels / dinners / gas stations in the middle of nowhere are as much a character as anything else.

I could go on but I suppose if anyone read this far you get the point (and more importantly it’s now out of my head and I can think about something else!).

Ultimately it will take some time to see if this could be right - in terms of genre fiction Tolkien is everywhere and you can’t escape it (even if you never read or watched any Tolkien!). Time will tell if the Kripke verse has the same impact on creatives and audiences, but I just look at the A03 archive and notice how many people know what happened on Supernatural without ever watching it (!) and think hmmm these are the readers and writers of tomorrow after all.

[fandom-hoarder]

A Bibro's

Sastiel Rec List

-for the canon-adjacent connoisseur-

1. Pagan by posingasme

Gen | Rating: Mature | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 17, 782 | Chapters: 8/8

Tags: Blasphemy, Idol Worship, Fallen Castiel, Priest Sam, Hunterverse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Canon-Typical Violence

Summary: Castiel has fallen, too soon. Madness and desperation plague him, but, as always, his heart is still in the right place...with Sam Winchester.

🔆

2. Run Right; or Lie by orphan_account

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 5,197 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: AU, Alternate Universe, Canon Divergence, Pre-Slash

Summary: AU in which Dean died during Faith, the first seal was broken in season one, and Sam met Castiel when his faith was as strong as ever.

🔆

3. Kneel Before the Lord Our Maker by EnInkahootz

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 3,000 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Supernatural Kink Bingo 2021, Porn, Smut, Blasphemy, Angels, Angel Kink, Religion, Religion Kink, Angel Wings, Wings, Flying, Clouds, Cock Worship, Dom/sub, Sub Sam Winchester, Dom Castiel, Dom Castiel/Sub Sam Winchester, Dreams, Blow Jobs, Post-Episode: s04e07 It's the Great Pumpkin Sam Winchester

Summary: After first meeting Castiel and being disappointed in It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester (Season 4, Episode 7), Sam has a dream about Castiel being the classic sort of angel he had expected to meet. Sam dreams of using his mouth to worship Castiel's holy cock, which Sam sees as an extension of god.

🔆

4. What This Is About by MissMisdemeanor

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 3,147 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Top Castiel/Bottom Sam Winchester, Riding, Sweat, Hook-Up, Secret Relationship, Canon Compliant, canon adjacent?, Making Out, Early season 5 Supernatural

Summary: “This is something you’ve wanted before today,” Cas states, and it’s true. He’s not sure if Cas even had to read his soul to get at that.

Sam’s breath stops. He freezes momentarily. “Yeah,” he admits. “Shit, Cas, yeah. I’d have done this the day we met.”

🔆

5. A First Grasp by Fae-and-night (goodgirlgonegeek16)

M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,034 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Season 5 angst, Episode: s05e03 Free to Be You and Me, or at least the sastiel alternate ending to that episode.

Summary: Sastiel-flavored coda for “Free to be You and Me” with some early seasons bamf!castiel.

🔆

6. My Sastiel Valentine by rosworms

M/M | Rating: Mature | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 3,371 | Chapters: 3/3

Tags: Episode: s05e14 My Bloody Valentine, Slash, NSFW, Sastiel - Freeform, Sam/Cas - Freeform

Summary: A very slight AU of the episode 'My Bloody Valentine' where Sam is affected by famine in a different way.

🔆 55 more fics, in relatively chronological order, below the cut 🔆

7. Boy in the White Suit by posingasme

Gen, M/M | Mature | Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Words: 13,460 | Chapters: 7/7

Tags: Boy King of Hell Sam Winchester, Post-Apocalypse, Dark Sam Winchester, Insanity, Alice in Wonderland References, Blasphemy, Self-Destruction, Madness

Summary: Sam said no. Dean said yes. Sam lost his mind. Castiel lost his friends. That’s the road so far.

🔆

8. A More Profound Bond by confxsed

Gen, M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 5,824 | Chapters: 5/5

Tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Dean Winchester, Protective Castiel, Hurt Sam Winchester, Emotionally Hurt Sam Winchester, Angst, Season/Series 05, Sam Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Mentions of Suicide, Pre-Slash

Summary: Five little moments where Dean notices the relationship between Sam and Castiel growing.

🔆

9. some space underneath my skin by hellsreluctantheir

Part 1 of touch -- The soulless Sam and Cas were fucking verse.

M/M | Rating: Mature | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 23,607 | Chapters: 8/8

Tags: Soulless!Sam, Season/Series 06

Summary: Humans liked to touch each other in ways that baffled Castiel. Not just in the manner they slyly referred to as biblically. He watched them clap hands onto shoulders and backs, lean into each other in exhaustion, sleep sitting up with feet resting against each other on the floor. A constant, reverberating, nonverbal hymn. I am here. You are here. We are here, and we are alive. Angels did not need that kind of reassurance. Castiel could hear his siblings' songs no matter how near he was to them physically. Prayers and psalms in the back of his mind. It saddened him, somewhat, to think that humanity would never know that.

🔆

10. The Unexpected by muzivitch

M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,253 Chapters: 1/1

Summary: Sam and Castiel discuss his missing year. Also, Sam has a crush that would be obvious to anyone but Castiel (except it might even be obvious to him, after all). Takes place after 6.12 "Like A Virgin."

🔆

11. Doing Just Fine by masterlynovak

M/M, Multi | Rating: Explicit | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 1,069 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: idk it's a threesome but not really?, Dean is just watching Sam and Cas have sex, voyerism

Summary: Dean wakes up in a room with a naked Sam spread out on the bed.

🔆

12. Wings by Rowan203

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 1,415 Chapters: 1/1

Summary: AU after season 6. Sam comes back from the cage broken and changed. Dean and Castiel deal with it in different ways.

🔆

13. Between the Shadow and the Soul by Vee (Vera_DragonMuse)

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 6,456 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Poetry, hell is the absence of love, take shelter in me, castiel thinks sam is the wolf, sam thinks castiel is in another story, really they're both just lost in the fog

Summary: What if Sam was the one that went to Purgatory with Castiel?

🔆

14. The Sun Pale as Milk by Icanseenow

M/M | Rating: Mature | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 39,879 Chapters: 21/21

Tags: POV Sam Winchester, Season/Series 08, Purgatory, Post-Purgatory, Slow Burn, Nearly Human Castiel, Post-Season/Series 07

Summary: Instead of Dean, Castiel is the one to return from Purgatory first. He finds Sam, and together they spend a year. Looking for Dean and not looking for Dean.

🔆

15. a body of proof by lordofsoup

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Words: 21,525 | Chapters: 5/5

Tags: Angelic Possession, Consensual Possession, basically possession (romantic), Trials of Hell, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Trauma From Lucifer's Cage, Sam Winchester Has an Eating Disorder, a minor point but i wanted to mention it, references to honey!cas, Developing Relationship, Romantic Fluff, Sharing a Bed, Sharing a Body, includes art!! [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Sam's sickness worsens after the second trial, resulting in him being rushed to the hospital, the extensive damage has left Sam drained of his fight. To continue with the trials Sam must allow Castiel to heal him, by possessing him. While having an alien home under his skin is nothing new for Sam, Castiel's constant presence unwittingly unburies a host of issues. Two people desperate for forgiveness in the same body should get crowded at times but between the nightmares, the sickness, and the blood; there are some cookies, a quiet beach on the coast of Oregon, and a chance at something new between them.

🔆

16. ficlet - sastiel, a/b/o dynamics by wrenseroticlibrary_archivist

[also on tumblr]

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 580 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Post-Season/Series 08, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Fallen Angel Castiel, Mating Cycles/In Heat, First Time, Porn, Ficlet, Alpha Castiel, Omega Sam Winchester

Summary: When Castiel had Fallen, he’d clearly become an alpha.

🔆

17. Stay in Touch by Cuda (Scylla)

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 6,310 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Post-Episode: s09e06 Heaven Can't Wait, Missing Scene, Human Castiel, Newly Human Castiel, Love Confessions, Not Actually Unrequited Love, First Kiss, First Time, Masturbation, Sexually Inexperienced Castiel, Castiel and Sam Winchester in Love, Sastiel - Freeform

Summary: Concerned about newly-human Castiel's decision to leave the Bunker on his own, Sam sets out for Idaho to find his best friend - and get some answers for himself.

🔆

18. Angels and Answers by klove0511

Part 1 of Milestones 'verse

M/M | Rating: Explicit | Rape/Non-Con | Words: 15,190 Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Possessed Sam Winchester, Memory Alteration, Human Castiel, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, First Time Blow Jobs, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergence, Sam Winchester Has Self-Esteem Issues, Castiel Has Self-Esteem Issues, Alternate Season/Series 09, Winchester communication skills

Summary: Cas has discovered his sexuality as a human when the Winchesters bring him to the bunker, and he and Sam fall into bed together. When Gadreel forces Dean to drive Cas away, the two must find their way back to each other, freeing Sam from Gadreel in the process.

🔆

19. So polite by bloodandcream

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,174 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Season 9, Angst, Sam topping from the bottom, Erectile Dysfunction

Summary: “Please,” was whispered into his mouth. So polite. Sam was in control here.

🔆

20. Had Worse by posingasme

Gen, M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 3,687 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Bunker Fic, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Sam has a very high threshold for pain, and an iron will. So this current hunting injury, even with its weird attack on his view of reality, is nothing compared to what he has been through in the past. He’s had worse. But that does nothing to reassure those who love him.

🔆

21. I'm always dragging that horse around by Trojie

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 5,499 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Unrequited Wincest, Unrequited Destiel, Enochian, Phobias, Hell Trauma, Season/Series 09, Episode: s09e11 First Born, Angel Healing, Implied Wincestiel, Hopeful Ending

Summary: Sam has a horror of angels and Cas has a compulsion to heal. It doesn't help that they speak the same languages, or that Dean is elsewhere - somehow he's always between them, and somehow they still have to meet in the middle.

🔆

22. The Best Medicine by sarasaurusrex

Multi | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,247 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Comfort, Fluff, Depressed Sam Winchester, Season/Series 09, Misunderstandings, Castiel Takes Care of Sam Winchester, Established Castiel/Sam Winchester, Domestic Fluff

Summary: Castiel confuses Sam’s symptoms of depression with symptoms of the flu and tries to help. Set mid season 9.

🔆

23. anything you need, that's what i'll be by starlightswait

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,092 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Dissociation, Bodily Autonomy, Season/Series 09, Aftermath of Possession, Post-Episode: s09e11 First Born, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Self-Harm, Food Issues

Summary: There is a strange discomfort in healing Sam in the days that follow Dean’s departure.

🔆

24. muscle memory by hellsreluctantheir

Part 2 of touch - Sam's POV s7 - s9

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 5,830 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Season/Series 07, Season/Series 09

Summary: Sam lost his soul, slept with an angel, got his soul back, lost his memory, and then lost his mind before they could have a conversation about it. It's fine. The Hell trauma is gone, and he's coping. Even when Castiel comes back, he'll continue to cope.

🔆

25. Divine by Matthew1972

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 8,120 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: POV Sam Winchester, Protective Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Kissing, First Time, Porn with Feelings, Anal Sex, Bottom Sam Winchester, Top Castiel, Bottoming from the Top, Angelic Grace Play, Angel Wings, Morning Sex, Oral Sex

Summary: Coda/AU scene to episode S09E11, First Born. "But nothing is worth losing you", Castiel shows that what he said was something he meant. Held safe in his arms and wings Sam learns the stunning truth about 'his' angel. How he heals the pain inside of him with something more than trust, care and touch.

🔆

26. Even If We Can't Find Heaven by ellerkay

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 8,044 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Having Faith, Loss of Faith, First Kiss, First Time Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Pining

Summary: Sam finds his faith and loses it and finds it again, albeit in a very different form. A Sastiel love story and exploration of Sam’s faith and spirituality. [Note: prayer during sex🙏]

🔆

27. Table For Two by the_diving_fox

M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,775 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: somewhere in s9, Human Castiel, valentine's day fic, POV Outsider

Summary: A tired waitress at Ann's Diner happens to serve Sam and Castiel amidst all the other obnoxious Valentine's Day couples. Sam and Castiel manage to surprise her, though.

🔆

28. Two Beat Up Humans by PacJazz

M/M, Multi | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 3,863 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Fluff and Angst, Pre-Slash, PTSD, Post-Gadreel, Human!Castiel, Hurt Sam Winchester, Post-trials with no angel healing hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Season/Series 09, Nightmares, Domestic Fluff, Hair Brushing, Insomnia, No Smut, Enochian-Speaking Sam Winchester, Sleepiness, Literal Sleeping Together [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Both broken, yet eager to help the other heal.... Sam and Cas are living in the bunker now, sans-dean after the gadreel betrayal. Cas is newly Human now, and while he needs some help learning the intricacies of that, Sam needs some help healing. They both share things, and think through what they've lost. *In slight AU where post-gadreel Sam is living in the bunker with newly human Castiel*

🔆

29. A Crucifixion Without A Christ by angelshotgun

M/M | Rating: Explicit | Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con | Words: 18,501 | Chapters: 10/10

Tags: Angelic Possession, Castiel's Angelic Grace, Major Character Injury, Hurt Sam Winchester, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hell Trauma, Sam Winchester is Loved, Hurt Castiel, Guilty Castiel, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Sam Winchester Needs a Hug, voicemail fixit, Post-Gadreel, Trust Issues, Sam Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Happy Ending, Schmoop, Hunter Retirement [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: When Sam Winchester is badly injured on a hunt, Cas has to possess him to keep him alive and help him heal. And though Sam agreed to let him in, Cas is acutely aware of how many times Sam has had his bodily autonomy taken away from him, and how much Cas himself has contributed to Sam's pain. And now that he's inside Sam's head? Well, he tries to be as unobtrusive as possible, but Sam is just... traumatized. And hurting. Maybe, he thinks, maybe this is his chance to put aside his own feelings for Sam to help heal the hurts he had a hand in creating?

🔆

30. Moments of Madness by orphan_account

M/M | Rating: Mature | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,140 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Season/Series 10, ish, Canon Compliant, Enochian-Speaking Sam Winchester, Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort, Trauma From Lucifer's Cage, Protective Dean Winchester, Castiel Loves Sam Winchester, Kissing, Fluff

Summary: It just happens, the first time. Dean's a Demon, and Sam's so alone. The next times?

🔆

31. Blankets by mako_lies (wingeddserpent)

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,212 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Episode: s10e01 Black, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt Castiel

Summary: Sam and Cas try to take care of one another.

🔆

32. Situational Failure (The Chicken Soup Remix) by StripySock

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 2,540 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Season/Series 10, Remix, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt Castiel, Sickfic, Frottage

Summary: There is a fear in Cas that if he lets Sam make himself at home in all of the places that Dean had declined to fill, he will lose the ability to ever refuse it again.  Or: Sam is sick, Cas is failing, and Dean is nowhere to be found. [implied unrequited destiel]

🔆

33. Feathers Falling by posingasme

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 13,144 | Chapters: 6/6

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angel Wings, Castiel in the Bunker, Permanent Injury, Protective Sam Winchester, Hurt Castiel, Fever, Delirium, Castiel & Charlie Bradbury Friendship, Alternate Canon, Season/Series 10, Angst [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Castiel has been hurt, but he won't reveal how bad it is. Sam distracts him from the pain by reading him classic love stories, and Cas just doesn’t think any of them depict a love as strong as theirs.

🔆

34. Since When Does Sam Have PLANS? by Fae-and-night (goodgirlgonegeek16)

Gen | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 343 | Chapters: 1/1

Summary: "Dean’s POV on Sastiel, late seasons Sastiel, the ‘mistaken for a couple’ trope.

🔆

35. Keep You from the Gallows Pole by Fallynleaf

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 7,337 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Alternate Season/Series 10 Finale, Mark of Cain Cure, Charlie Lives, Implied Unrequited Destiel, Implied Unrequited Wincest, Implied Wincestiel, Asexual Relationship [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Season 10, if it were the love story of Sam and Cas.

🔆

36. Episode 199.5 by posingasme

Part 1 of Before 200...

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Words: 56,473 | Chapters: 20/20

Tags: Mark of Cain, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Stolen Grace, Protective Dean Winchester, Demon Blood, BAMF Castiel, Sam Winchester on Demon Blood, Alternate Angel Lore, Canon-Typical Violence, Torture, Dean Winchester Bears the Mark of Cain, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Guilt

Summary: Dean is dealing with guilt, and fear of losing control to the Mark again. Castiel has new Grace, but eventually, it will burn out just as before. Sam just wants a fresh start all around. Life in the bunker is getting a bit...crowded. Memories and tempers are boiling over, along with something that has been heating up for a long time. Things get nasty when an old foe comes for Sam, and it's all hands on deck.

🔆

37. Wingman by posingasme

Part 2 of Before 200...

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Words: 65,222 | Chapters: 21/21

Tags: Spoilers, Mark of Cain, Dreams and Nightmares, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Psychological Torture, Canon-Typical Violence, Dean Winchester Bears the Mark of Cain, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Self-Destructive Dean Winchester

Summary: Now that Sam and Castiel have been honest with one another, and Dean has given his blessing, the two are forced into the awkward stage of figuring out where to go from here. Dean is still battling against the Mark, and his anxiety manifests in various ways, some of which are healthier than others.

🔆

38. Sentimental Iterations by fabella

M/M | Rating: Explicit | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 33,370 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Future Fic, Season/Series 11, Season/Series 10, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Betrayal, Deception, Winchester Style Death (Not Typical Death), Semi Curtain Fic, Resolved Sexual Tension, Anal Sex, Rimming, Bottom Sam, Oral Sex, Sam is a big damn hero, Castiel-centric, Human Castiel, Big Brother Dean, Angst, Hurt Sam Winchester, Mental Instability, Sacrifice, Brother Feels, Grief/Mourning [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Castiel learned everything he knows about devotion from the Winchesters. In this peaceful future built on the back of Sam Winchester’s most recent sacrifice, Castiel discovers that death itself can be overcome. If he’s willing to pay the price. [Notes: Set after season 10. An entirely different take on season 11.]

🔆

39. Sam's Room by NobleHouseOfBlack

M/M | Rating: Not Rated | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,864 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: No Dialogue, Nightmares, Sharing a Bed, Platonic Cuddling, Feel-good

Summary: Sam's room in the bunker didn't seem like his room. He slept there occasionally but there was nothing that would indicate he lived there.

🔆

40. The Devil’s Gonna Let On That You’re In The Details by sahwen

M/M | Rating: Not Rated | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 3,055 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Lucifer Possessing Castiel, Post-Episode: s11e10 The Devil in the Details, Episode: s11e14 The Vessel, Post-Episode: s11e14 The Vessel, Season/Series 12, this fic spans across a lot of time, Hook-Up, Sam Winchester Has Mental Health Issues, Trauma, Protective Dean Winchester, Supportive Dean, Post-Possession

Summary: Sam and Cas have been hooking up casually for a while when something feels off to Sam. He’s sure it’s just his mind playing tricks on him.

🔆

41. Loved by the Devil, loved by an angel by N_13

Part 1 of Of this damned reality

M/M | Rating: Mature | Rape/Non-Con | Words: 3,076 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Rape/Non-con Elements, Abusive Relationships, Angst, Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues, everybody needs a hug, and therapy, Hurt/very little comfort, Unhealthy Relationships, No really every relationship in this is fucked up on some level, Hurt Sam Winchester, Season/Series 11, Lucifer Possessing Castiel, Enochian-Speaking Sam Winchester

Summary: Cas has loved Sam for quite some time. Then he said yes to Lucifer and everything went to hell.

🔆

42. Heartbreak is Savvy and Love is a Bitch by Cuda (Scylla)

M/M | Rating: Mature | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 2,405 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Lapdance, Light Dom/sub, Dom Castiel, Sub Sam Winchester, Sensation Play, Post-Episode: s11e14 The Vessel, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sam Winchester Deserves to be Happy, Safewords, Sam Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Sam Winchester is Bad at Self Care, Castiel's not the most experienced dom, Established Relationship, Light Angst [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: Castiel and Sam work on some fractures in their relationship. A gentle attempt at sensory play goes awry, leaving them scrambling to ratchet things back up to normal. Part of the 2020 Supernatural Kink Bingo.

🔆

43. Thirty Years too Late by hyperbolicfae

Gen, M/M, Other | Rating: Teen+ | Rape/Non-Con | Words: 2,770 | Chapters: 2/2

Tags: Hurt Sam Winchester, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Castiel, Aftermath of Torture, Implied Mind Rape, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Protective Mary Winchester

Summary: Mary Winchester has rescued her son. She’s just thirty years too late. Or: The aftermath of Sam’s rescue from the British Men of Letters

🔆

44. whore of babylon by angelszn (artbabe)

M/M | Rating: Mature | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 2,465 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Infidelity, Movie Night, Sam Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Floor Sex, Non-Penetrative Sex, Drinking, Dubious Consent, Past Rape/Non-con, Guilt, Gift Exchange [contains background destiel]

Summary: “Dean is a good man, and I love him. But sometimes, I…” Cas licks his lips. “Sam, I’m afraid.” Sam should leave. He should walk away. He should run. But his body is heavy and wine-drunk, his head spins at what Cas might be hinting at. “What are you afraid of?”

🔆

45. The One You're With by gracerene

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 5,397 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Unrequited Wincest, Unrequited Sastiel, Platonic Sex, Friendship, Sexually Inexperienced Castiel, Fuck Or Die, Curses, Frottage, POV Sam Winchester, Season/Series 12, Hung Sam Winchester, Present Tense

Summary: Sam knows better than to touch anything in the bunker that looks even the slightest bit suspicious. And yet…

🔆

46. Wins & Losses by Threshie

M/M, Multi | Rating: Teen+ | Major Character Death | Words: 17,384 | Chapters: 8/8

Tags: Temporarily Dead Castiel, Heartbroken Sam Winchester, Comforting Dean Winchester, Sharing a Bed, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Sastiel, Wincest, Wincestiel, Poly Vee With Sam Pivot, Cuddling & Snuggling, Men of Letters Bunker, Angst with a Happy Ending, Touchy-Feely, Grieving Sam Winchester, Idiots in Love [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: A few months after Sam and Castiel start dating, the angel is killed. Still reeling from the loss of his best friend, Dean can’t just sit and watch Sam’s heartbreak slowly pull him away, too.

🔆

47. Now I am here by Matthew1972

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 13,728 | Chapters: 5/5

Tags: Friends to Lovers, Asexual Relationship, Literal Sleeping Together, Sharing a Bed, Feelings Realization, Hugs, Boys Kissing, Case Fic, Monster Hunters, Crime Scenes, Angst, Blood, Hurt, Pagan Gods, Magic

Summary: Castiel and Sam have come to another nameless town to free it from the claws of a dark and ancient power. As they work the case their friendship grows stronger, changing into something more or does it? This, here, now… brings the confirmation they each needed.

🔆

48. Something Good by posingasme

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 5,876 | Chapters: 4/4

Tags: Food Issues, showtunes, Sleep Deprivation, Hurt Sam Winchester, Sick Sam Winchester

Summary: Everyone deals with their losses in their own way, and Sam prefers to work things out on his own. But his angel friend can’t stand on the sidelines as the hunter wastes away in pain. Sam may have had a complex past, but an angel’s love is proof that he must have done something good.

🔆

49. Something to Talk About by Fae-and-night (goodgirlgonegeek16)

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 777 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: mentions Castiel but he's not actually here, Bunker Era, Dean being a big brother, telltale hickies, Love Bites

Summary: To be honest, Sam thought it took Dean way longer than he would’ve expected to figure he and Castiel were together.

🔆

50. Lois by posingasme

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 4,195 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Superman References (DCU), Awkward Crush, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings

Summary: Jack discovers the joy of comic books, and reminds Castiel of a time when Bobby Singer called him Superman. And Dean had an opinion about who his Lois Lane was.

🔆

51. Happy Ain't a Two-Story Victorian, But it Might Be This by Cuda (Scylla)

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 3,382 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Episode: s14e15 Peace of Mind, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fake Marriage, Mind Control, Mind Manipulation, Dean Winchester Tries, Family Issues, Jack Kline & Dean Winchester Bonding

Summary: Sam and Castiel have been on a mission to an Arkansas hamlet, and they haven't checked in. When Dean and Jack trail them to a quiet street in Charming Acres, what they find is nothing like either of them expected. To be honest, cleaning out a nest of vampires might be easier than this, but Dean's going to give it the old college try. Whatever that means.

🔆

52. Milestones and Misunderstandings by klove0511

Part 2 of Milestones 'verse

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 2,711 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: mildly homophobic!Mary, inappropriate anniversary gifts, protective!Dean, Sam Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Season/Series 14, Fluff, Tumblr Prompt, Oblivious!Dean

Summary: There is something different about Sam and Cass. The lingering stares, the intimate touches. The careful whispers and secret smiles. Dean knew it. He was going to get to the bottom of it, one way or another.

🔆

53. Stricta Dormire by klove0511

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | Major Character Death | Words: 3,583 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Temporary Character Death, Fairy Tale Type Death, Established Relationship, Hurt Sam Winchester, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hell Trauma, Season/Series 14 Spoilers, Sad Dean Winchester, Sad Castiel, Grief/Mourning, True Love's Kiss

Summary: When Sam is hit by a spell, Cass is the only one that can save him. Meanwhile, Dean is grieving his brother, unaware of the struggle going on within Sam’s mind.

🔆

54. Roadhouse Rough by posingasme

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 12,738 | Chapters: 10/10

Tags: Curtain Fic, Alcohol, Hurt Sam Winchester, Retired Hunter Sam Winchester, Bartender Sam Winchester, Permanent Injury

Summary: The last tangle with the last archangel ended with an act of spite, from which Sam will never recover. Lucifer’s bitter parting gift to his wayward vessel means Sam’s forced retirement. He runs the hub from his very own Roadhouse, and watches over a powered-down nephilim, while a weakened but recovering Castiel hunts at Dean’s side. It’s a rough life, but someone’s got to do it.

🔆

55. Familiar Spirits by Cuda (Scylla)

M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 6,619 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Wisconsin - Freeform, The Beast of Bray Road, References to Norse Religion & Lore, Season/Series 15, Monster of the Week, Case Fic, Sastiel Secret Santa Exchange, Sastiel - Freeform, Sastiel Secret Santa 2019

Summary: Fills in a little gap of time between 15-7 and 15-8. Sam's on the hunt for Eileen, and winds up on a case in the middle of Wisconsin in December. What seems like a straightforward case of werewolves gets out of hand, when the werewolves turn out to be something Sam's never encountered before. It's Castiel to the rescue, but in the middle of the night in a refrigerator of a forest, one wrong move could be the last one they ever make.

🔆

56. a rock with a hole in it by De_Nugis

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 11,052 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: faerie - Freeform, possibly in some way a Canadian shack fic, except Faerie, Consent Issues, animal death (hunting), Unrequited Destiel, Soulless Sam Winchester, POV Castiel

Summary: Castiel walks back into Faerie with Sam's soul in a jar in his pocket.

🔆

57. Right Now by spideybegins

Gen, M/M | Rating: Teen+ | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 1,512 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Hurt Sam Winchester, Comforting Castiel, samcas, Sastiel - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Season/Series 15, Angst, Crying Sam Winchester, Don’t Look at These Messy Tags, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, no beta we die like men

Summary: The one where Cas hears Sam crying and realizes he’s been avoiding the youngest Winchester for much too long. Set somewhere in season 15.

🔆

58. It’s Good to Be Here Again, With You by raisinghellonstarbug

M/M | Rating: Gen | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 2,240 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Canon Compliant, Reunions, Mentioned Dean Winchester, Fluff and Angst, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Sharing a Bed, Season/Series 15, Episode: s15e07 Last Call

Summary: Sam is missing Castiel and doesn't understand why he left. He knows Dean has something to do with it. But then he shows back up just in time before Sam's in real trouble.

🔆

59. wishing too hard for them to stay by angelfishofthelord

Gen | Rating: Not Rated | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 1,727 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: Episode s15e17 coda, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, One Shot, Season/Series 15, Season/Series 15 Speculation, POV First Person, POV Sam Winchester [complete tags on Ao3]

Summary: You tell me you’re doing to die, and I don’t yell at you. Instead I say, “Let’s go for a walk.”

🔆

⚠️ Unfinished Fic - last updated in 2013

60. Of Blood And Water by lovedsammy

M/M, Gen | Rating: Mature | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Words: 20,081 Chapters: 7/?

Tags: 8x23, Fallen Angels, Post Season/Series 08, Hurt/Comfort, Family, Romance, Angst, fallen!cas, Hurt!Sam, Hurt!Cas, Slash, stigmata!sam, Stigmata, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, AU, Season/Series 9 canon divergent, Friendship

Summary: Now AU to season 9! Post-8x23, "Sacrifice". Both of them were wounded, broken, in need of repair; both of them had done things in the name of the greater good and had ultimately failed and caused something or another to bend and break and destroy upon itself. They'd both wrecked themselves to achieve an end, and in turn wrecked others. But they couldn't have been more than two opposites on the end of the spectrum that somehow aligned at the middle-point, and now there was no going back.

🔆

💜💀🖤 Self Rec 💜💀🖤

(because this is a list of my favs, and I wrote it for me)

61. grief and husbands on the interstate by ladygizarme

M/M | Rating: Explicit | No Archive Warnings Apply | Words: 2,787 | Chapters: 1/1

Tags: background wincest, background wincestiel - Freeform, they're a polycule but they're sam-centered, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Rimming, Bottom Sam Winchester, Spit As Lube, Wound Tending, Episode: s14e01 Stranger in a Strange Land, part coda, Part fix-it, Polyamory, Anal Sex

Summary: En route from Detroit back to the bunker, Cas makes them stop at a motel. Sam is exhausted, and so is everybody else. But right now, Castiel's priority is Sam, and he knows just what he needs. Part coda, part fix-it to 14x01.

[destieltaggedfic]

Epic Length Fics - Part 7

We're heading into the time of year where hopefully we have more time to read (or at least more family to hide in fanfic from)

Don't Tell Sammy – MurderousQueen   Ao3

Set S9.  A haunted apartment building that caters to the queer community has Dean approaching Cas, asking him to pretend to be his boyfriend for the hunt.  The one thing he asks is that Sam doesn’t know because he’d tease Dean.  While living together Dean lets his walls down and lets Cas see more of the Real Dean than anyone has seen before.  If you want a happy ending, I recommend skipping the final chapter and reading one of the alternate endings, I liked the first alternate ending.

Word Count: 242k                            Graphic Sexual Acts

Kiss Me in the Bread Aisle – eemwrites   Ao3

Set S6ish AU.  Angels are dicks but at least that apocalypse is over, now its just ordinary hunts for the Winchesters, until Dean meets a random angel in a trenchcoat in a supermarket one day.  An angel he accidentally uses as a model for a fake boyfriend when being pestered by his friends.  When he finds out the angel – Castiel – needs help escaping from heaven, he has a well warded place for him to hide, in return he just needs Cas to pretend to be his boyfriend for a while.  And then Dean starts having dreams about Cas and an alternate way he got out of hell. (This is canon verse, but with timelines so changed that its almost an AU)

Word Count: 114k                            Graphic Sexual Acts

The Soul Burns Brighter Than The Sun - Wow_thisiswheremylifeis   Ao3

Set 15x20 didn’t happen AU.  It took a month and a call from Jody for Dean to learn that Cas was alive.  He’d been grieving and Cas had decided that avoiding the awkwardness was the best plan.  The problem is that Dean won’t act on his feelings for Cas until he can be sure that Cas won’t die again and Cas is still living by the rule that he’ll do anything to protect Dean.  Especially because he wasn’t the only one that came back from the empty

Word Count: 285k                            Graphic Sexual Acts

If Angels Were Men – manifestingwings   Ao3

Set S1 AU.  Castiel reluctantly got back into hunting when his father was killed by demons.  He keeps crossing paths with the Winchester brothers who are looking for their father.

Word Count: 112k                            No Sex

Mellow is the Man – marquiavellian   Ao3

Set S15x20 didn’t happen AU.  The only thing that saved Dean from a piece of rebar was the timely arrival of Cas and in the wake of 2 resurrections the decision is made by Sam that they should all go on holiday.  Now while in close quarters Dean has to work out exactly what he’s going to do about what Cas told him before he died.

Word Count: 191k                            Graphic Sexual Acts

[reelnaturalfreak]

Masterpost for Double Kiss by ReelNaturalFreak @destielsoulmatebang

A new town with a new identity every week, or if they were lucky, a month. That had been Dean and John’s life ever since Alastair forced the omega into a mating. In the eyes of the law, Dean was Alastair’s, and the only thing that could get him out of it was if Dean found his soulmate. However, he didn’t need another abusive alpha chasing after him. Luckily, Dean hadn’t run into his soulmate and he and his dad have been doing just fine for a life on the run. Until they got a little too comfortable and Alastair’s employees surprised them. Separated from his dad with very little money and barely any blockers left, Dean was screwed. Things couldn’t get worse, oh wait, they could when he runs into his soulmate.

Finding your soulmate was like finding a needle in a haystack. It was possible, it happened, but Castiel knew of people who went their whole lives never finding their soulmate. So why bother putting much thought into it? That was how the alpha felt until he went to stop a group of alphas from attacking an omega and woke up with a soul mark on his bicep. With his soulmate nowhere in sight, Castiel knew it was a race against the clock to find the omega before it was too late. Rating: Explicit Tags:

Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics

Omega Verse

Omega Dean Winchester

Alpha Castiel (Supernatural)

Violence

Blood and Gore

Sexual Assault

Past Rape/Non-con

Attempted Rape/Non-Con

not between Castiel and Dean

Good Parent John Winchester

Protective John Winchester

Slow Burn

Soulmates

soul marks

Minor Character Death

Sam Winchester Being an Asshole

Protective Sam Winchester

Angst

Angst with a Happy Ending

Hurt/Comfort

Happy Ending

Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester

Link to the Fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59410972/chapters/151512595 Link to the art: https://www.tumblr.com/hexentaenzerin/765800978960220160/for-the-destielsoulmatebang-i-got-to-create-art?source=share

[samanddean76]

A Fistful Of Sammy's

An ancient grimoire has been searching for the man that is destined to wield it for the good of all.  With the power that was imbued upon it, Lux gained sentience and hid herself away, appearing as nothing more than a smoothly polished rock.  Now she waits.  The problem?  The Stanford-Era Sam Winchester that the grimoire meets is not the only Sam searching for it.  And thanks to a little time travel the list of those seeking her is growing longer by the minute.  Once Soulless Sam and Demon Dean are added into the mix?  Things start to go sideways.  But then a couple of Hollywood actors trapped in Canada, who happen to look just like them and know everything about them, turn out to be crucial to Sam and Dean being able to save the day. 

Will an Apocalypse World Bobby (no, not that one) and a battle ravaged Castiel help or hinder?  Will the all-too helpful Gabriel guide Sam to the truth, or lead him astray?  And will Sam ever get the happy ending he so desperately deserves? 

Come along on a wild ride, with Metallica as the soundtrack, and an ending that hinges on one impossible choice.

Fandoms: Supernatural and Supernatural RPF

Rated: Explicit | Word Count: 44,276

This is what happens when you have four Sam's, four Dean's, two Castiel's, two Jared and Jensen's, one Gabriel, one John, and one Jack in the same story.

Pairings: Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki, Demon Dean/Soulless Sam, Sam Winchester/Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester/Dean Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, John Winchester/Sam Winchester

Major Warnings: Rape/Non-Con

Additional Tags: AU, Time Travel, Will Reference Events From All Seasons Plus Prior To Series, Jared & Jensen from Season 6 - The French Mistake, Stanford Era Sam, Dean, & John, Soulless Sam, Demon Dean, Rape/Non-Con Elements, Dubious Consent, Non-Graphic Violence, Unorthodox Demon Healing, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Sam & Dean Being The Best Of Brothers, Castiel Gets A Power Up, Sam Gets A Power Up, An OC For The Ages, Literally

Chapter One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight on AO3

Hey! How about we turn it into The Samstraveganza Verse? Mmmm, okay, I'm sold.

Tell Me Something I Don't Know - Soulless Sam/Demon Dean one-shot on AO3

Art Post on Tumblr | Art Post on AO3

@xpurdyglambertx @wipbigbang

Excerpt from Chapter Six under the break....

Sam could see himself through Dean’s eyes.  From the moment he was the baby lying in the maternity ward.  Later when he played in his crib in the nursery of his only real home.  How scared Dean felt as he raced out the front door with his little Sammy held tight.  Through more dingy motel rooms and abandoned houses than either of them ever wanted to think about.  On the first day of middle school, when Sam had been so scared, Dean had looked down at him with pride, assuring his kid brother that he was going to be better than any of his classmates.  Helping Sam to get ready for his first dance, pinning on the boutonniere that he had stolen from the flower shop.  Wishing how it would have been him to escort his Sammy. 

“I would have danced with you, at least once.  Spun my big brother around the floor.”  The words echoed across his mind, and when Dean tried to deepen the kiss that they were sharing, Sam knew that he’d heard it, and shared the sentiment.  He thrust harder into the willing flesh before him, finding untold joy as each thrust was matched by Dean pushing back with his own hips.  Trying to help Sam sink in even deeper. 

[apocalypseornaw]

Fighting Hurts

Follow up to Love is a Fight

Set in my Always be Yours verse

Yall it's angst just be warned

Requested by @cat-lockwood

Weeks had passed since you left the bunker. The memory of the tears in Dean's eyes as you begged him to let you go tortured you. You knew it was best for you both, he'd be distracted with you there and christ chances were you'd probably end up well and truly dead before Amara ended her rampage but what choice did you have besides to go down swinging?

The cabin you were staying in was one Bobby had won off Rufus in a bet way back when. It was sturdy and didn't leak, plus it had electricy ran to it which was a plus considering most of Rufus' cabins didn't. The warding was painted onto every inch of the interior. It'd taken you the better part of a day.

You hated admitting you were scared but this time you were. You were alone, cut off from everyone you knew in fear that should Amara come after you it would put anyone else in her sights. You wouldn't answer any of Deans or Sam's calls. You knew if you even heard Dean's voice your resolve would break.

----------

After some consideration and a whole lot of literal cabin fever you decided a simple case wouldn't hurt. You ended up finding what looked like a simple salt and burn so you headed out on it, what was the worst that could happen?

Dean was losing his mind. Since you'd left Lucifer had possessed Cas and Chuck had revealed himself to be God. Chuck was willing to assist them against Amara, he wanted nothing more than to see her dead or at least caged back up then maybe you'd come home. You'd some home blocked your phone to the point that it would ring but Sam couldn't track you and damn your connections with the covens littered around the states you were warded to the point Chuck couldn't find you.

He was scared that the truth was something had happened to you, you were gone and had died thinking he'd pick anyone over you.

----------

He watched the numbers flash by on the laptop in front of him "Cmon Amara. Where the hell are you?" "Hello Dean" he looked up to see her at the end of the table much the same way she'd been those weeks ago that drove you out of his arms.

She smiled "I missed you. It's been a while since we've spoken. I'm aware my brother has resurfaced. If he should reach out to you, he should that Lucifer his favorite isn't doing so well" before Dean could ask what she meant she waved her hand showing a tortured Cas or his vessel at least. "Say nothing of your friend Castiel"

There were burns over most of his face and he looked like he was barely hanging on. The image of Cas disappeared but Amara continued to speak "By ignoring me my brother is allowing this to happen along other things that should perk yours and Sam's interest"

She waved her hand again and an image of you appeared. You couldn't even stand like Cas could. You were curled into your self, the shirt you wore he recognized as one you took from his drawer. It was ripped down the spine and he could see what looked like bone sticking free from your skin "I must say Y/N is strong for a human. I can almost see your attraction to her" Dean was on his feet the moment the image of you disappeared "Let her go"

Amara smiled "My brother simply needs to come out of hiding and I may end her suffering"

You felt your body tense just from hearing Amara's voice "Oh Lucifer she isn't dead is she?" You pushed yourself up to lean against Lucifer's legs, the fact that he was wearing Cas as a vessel gave you comfort because you could almost imagine it was Cas.

Lucifer looked down at you weakly "This one? I've already killed her once and it didn't stick" Amara laughed wickedly "She is something isn't she? Drew the attention of not one but two Winchesters"

Lucifer looked at you again as Amara continued "Oh yes she betrayed Dean, with his brother and yet assumes he'd ever chose her over me" you felt tears hit your eyes but Lucifer moved his leg to get your attention and shook his head. Unfortunately Amara noticed. "Tsk tsk tsk. Can't have you two bonding" with that she used her powers to electrocute Lucifer as you felt her shadows dig into your back again. Your screams mixed with his, echoing in the silo.

Working with Metatron, being Amara bait..anything Dean was getting you back.

---------

You were barely conscious, focusing on your breathing. You knew you wouldn't die, you'd gotten close over the last few days but Amara would heal you to start to process again. She'd finally left after rubbing salt into your wounds that Dean had called out to her.

You laid next to where Lucifer was tied, knowing it was useless to try to run. A familiar sound hit your ears and you told yourself you were imagining it but as it got closer you realized you weren't. That was the impala.

"Y/N!" You heard Sam's voice and flinched away from it. How could you face him or Dean? Amara was right, you were poison to the Winchesters. You'd nearly caused one brother to kill the other. You felt his hands on your face and started to sob "Please don't touch me. Just let die"

You could hear Metatron reciting incantations to free you and Lucifer but couldn't summon the energy to ask "Take him Sam. He can help get rid of her" Sam had you up in his arms the moment he could and was carrying you to the impala "GET HIM FREE METATRON. I'LL COME BACK FOR HIM"

Sam laid you down gently on the backseat, carefully of the areas that made you whimper in pain "It's gonna be ok Y/N. I promise" he pulled his jacket off to lay over you then ran back into the silo.

A few moments later the older guy who'd been with Sam and Metatron jumped in next to you and Sam squealed tires leaving with Lucifer in the front seat next to him.

----------

You must have passed out because Sam slamming on brakes brought you back around to see Amara standing in the road. "Sam" you called weakly, knowing the four of you had no chance against her.

Sam threw the impala into reverse but Amara stopped it. "You really aren't worth sparing. None of you" she leaned her head back and you knew this was it. You closed your eyes, feelings tears slip down your face. "We're gonna die" was the only thought that went through your head when suddenly the impala slammed down in...the bunker?

---------

"What happened?" The older guy hollered. Sam cut his eyes at Lucifer then climbed out to help you but you pushed his hands away despite barely being able to stand on your own.

You slowly followed him and Lucifer up the stairs to find Chuck in the war room. You were leaning heavily against the wall as Chuck said "Occasionally I do answer a prayer" so Chuck was God.

He looked from Lucifer to you before snapping his fingers. You took a deep breath, no longer in physical pain. You had no clue what was going on or where Dean was but you felt a wave of dizziness wash over you and the next thing you knew the room went dark.

"What the hell do you mean she passed out? Didn't you heal her?" Dean asked Chuck in nearly a growl. He'd gotten back to the bunker to news you'd barely been alive, was healed then passed out. Sam was in the infirmary with you on the phone with Rowena as to what could bring you around.

"I healed her physical wounds Dean. Amara tortured her, strong or not Y/N is human" Dean pushed past him and headed for the infirmary.

----------

Sam had Rowena on speaker as he sat at your bedside. Rowena didn't even like Crowley, her own son but for you? She'd dropped what she was doing to find a spell to help and was doing it. The moment she was done you started to stir "It worked Rowena. She's coming around" "Well of course it did Samuel. Now if the poor dear needs a way out of that mad house tell her to call me" with that she hung up.

----------

You felt like you were drowning, the way waves would let you come up for air only to shove you down again. You could feel something pulling you out but didn't know what until you recognized the accent. Rowena. You held onto her voice with everything you had until your eyes opened to the bright fluorescents in the infirmary.

You could hear voices. First Rowena and Sam then Dean's voice joined. You couldn't focus. You just laid there trying to breathe. What had Amara done to you?

---------

Dean stopped at the door of the infirmary the moment he saw your still form. "Sam?" He called rooted to the spot. He couldn't see you dead, he wasn't strong enough to lose you..

"She's alive Dean. Amara just damaged her psyche, she blocked her aura according to Rowena. She's conscious but not really alert" Dean felt a weight lift from his chest. You were alive.

---------

He crossed the few steps to the bed and gently touched your hand "Sweetheart?" Your eyelids fluttered before they slowly opened. As they did you snatched your hand away from him "Dean?"

He tried not to show the hurt he felt at you pulling away. "You're home Y/N... its gonna be ok" He attempted a smile but you started to cry "I can't Dean. Not right now. I love you but please you and Sam just give me some space"

He could feel his heart shatter but he nodded "Of course. If you need anything just holler ok?" You nodded, nearly hyperventilating from the tears. He wanted nothing more than to hold you but knew that would make it worse. "I love you" he whispered before Sam nearly pulled him from the room.

------------

Dean walked into the war room, feeling as if his feet weighed a hundred pounds a piece. You were so damn broken and why? Because you loved him. "Dean?" Sam asked, touching his shoulder but he tensed up "Not now Sammy. Not now"