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hmusunoo · 4 months ago

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𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 - 𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆

desc. │ ʟᴇᴇ ʜᴇᴇꜱᴇᴜɴɢ ᴡᴀꜱ ʟᴏꜱᴛ. ʜɪꜱ ᴅᴀʏꜱ ɢᴏ ʙʏ ɪɴ ᴀ ʙʟᴜʀ, ʜᴇ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʜᴇ'ꜱ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ꜰᴇʟᴛ ᴀʟɪᴠᴇ. ᴜɴᴛɪʟ ᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴀʏ, ʀᴜɴɴɪɴɢ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟᴛɪᴇꜱ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴛᴀʀᴅᴏᴍ ᴅᴏᴇꜱ ʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴀʀʀᴇʟɪɴɢ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴀ ꜱᴍᴀʟʟ ʙᴏᴏᴋꜱᴛᴏʀᴇ ᴇɴᴄᴏᴜɴᴛᴇʀɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴡᴇᴇᴛ ʙᴏᴏᴋꜱᴛᴏʀᴇ ᴇᴍᴘʟᴏʏᴇᴇ ᴡʜᴏꜱᴇ ꜱᴡᴇᴇᴛ ꜱᴍɪʟᴇ ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ʜɪᴍ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ

warnings. │ ᴀɴɢꜱᴛ, ꜰʟᴜꜰꜰ, ᴅᴀʀᴋ ᴛʜᴇᴍᴇꜱ, ᴛᴏxɪᴄ ᴍᴀɴᴀɢᴇᴍᴇɴᴛ, ꜱᴜɪᴄɪᴅᴇ, ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴀ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛ, ꜱᴜʙꜱᴛᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴀʙᴜꜱᴇ, ᴘʜʏꜱɪᴄᴀʟ ᴀʙᴜꜱᴇ. 12.6ᴋ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ

The air in this god forsaken building was suffocating. Heeseung struggled to right his mind as he drowned out the sounds of his manager going on and on about tour business, something he admittedly should be listening to but instead his mind wandered to unforeseen places. He thought of everything other than what his manager was saying. The clock on the wall ticked by in a constant, the rhythm helping to soothe Heeseung's racing thoughts. His eyes began to feel heavy, the extreme boredom getting to him. Heeseung couldn't allow himself to fall asleep. The repercussions would be dire, these are things he should be paying attention to. This is for engene after all, he needs to get it together. Telling himself all of that still didn't seem to help.

Every time he thought he could start listening or maybe contribute in some way his mind continued to wander. The most random of things popped into his head: what should he have for dinner? Did he turn off his bedroom light when he left the dorm today? Are his pillowcases done drying? All of these things swam around his subconscious like a never ending cycle.

A single kick to his leg brought Heeseung out of his never ending turmoil. Looking over to see Jungwon had kicked him titling his head towards the manager who was still speaking about the up coming tour schedules. He felt a sense of relief that his manager had not yet noticed that he was spacing out. He nodded at Jungwon, an affirmation that he would be listening from here on out.

"The U.S tour will be lengthy so get all your affairs in order before then.." His manager drowned on. The meeting would go on like that for the whole of another three hours. Heeseung's head felt heavy when The manager had finally left the room, leaving the seven Enhypen members alone to dwell on what was to come in this upcoming tour.

"Hee, man are you good? you spaced out for awhile there" Jake said, crossing his hands behind his head in a relaxed pose. Heeseung envied Jake's inability to let idol life stress him out. He had spent far too long letting the boulder sized ball of anxiety take over his life that he couldn't even imagine for a second what it felt like to let everything go, to not stress about getting choreography right, or not messing his lines up. The weight of his own expectations of himself crushing him every waking moment. "Yeah sorry guys, didn't sleep well last night " Which wasn't a total lie, Heeseung really hadn't slept well. The only thing he didn't mention is that not sleeping well was a nightly occurrence, it was the normal in Heeseung's life. His fellow members did not need to know that though. They didn't need to know that their Hyung was falling apart at the seems. That sometimes he felt like giving up idol life and moving across country to live a quiet life alone.

He couldn't tell them that, he didn't want them to worry about him. Even more he didn't want them to think him ungrateful. This opportunity that he had was special, it was something to call home about. He should be proud, he should be happy. Instead he felt trapped, how dare he? There he sat in a conference room, in HYBE. one of the most sought after labels in all of Korea and here he was wishing for a normal life, with no fame, no fortune, no Engene. He felt guilty, he felt sick to his stomach. He didn't deserve what he had here.

That was a hard pill to swallow, a hard realization that he had to face. It was way too embarrassing to admit to his fellow members. He couldn't let them down by being ungrateful for his blessings, no he wouldn't do that to them. So, he was forced to choke down these feelings and continue to sing, dance his way through life even if getting up on most days was the hardest thing he had to do.

"We're going to all get dinner then head back to the dorm's you down?" Jay asked, breaking Heeseungs endless thoughts on how much of a screw up he was. Heeseing shook his head, fixing his hair under his hat. "I think I'm going to take a walk, clear my head. You guys go ahead I'll pick up something for myself on the way back. I'm not sure how long I'll be" They all nodded, rising fromm their seats, whisking out of the room not before leaving a pat on Heeseungs back as a goodbye.

Once the room was cleared Heeseung released a sigh, his head falling to hang between his legs. Heeseung allowed himself a total of three minutes to wallow in his self pity before he too left the room in a blur.

LATER

Heeseung roamed the streets of seoul, the wind blistering his face as he continued to walk along the semi-crowded sidewalk. His face-mask was pulled high over his mouth and nose. The hood to his sweater pulled over his beanie covered head. He felt secluded enough not to be seen. He had just wanted to take a walk like a normal person with no chance of getting recognized and heckled on the street. He had been walking for about forty-five minutes now undisturbed. He felt confident that no one had seemed to know he was Heeseung from Enhypen. He was grateful for that short time of normalcy. It was uncommon nowadays. He only had a small amount of privacy everyday, in small spaces like the bathroom at the dorm or when he was alone in a conference room he would sneak into briefly when at the HYBE building for meetings. When times like this presented itself Heeseung allowed himself to appreciate it.

Of course, in true Heeseung's life fashion his small sense of normalcy had to be disturbed. It came in a hushed whisper at first, Heeseung's ears perking up as soon as he heard, "Is that Heeseung from Enhypen?" He scolded himself for being too stupid to think one of his engene wouldn't recognize him. Even in an outfit he thought was stealthy enough to get him through the crowded streets of Seoul unnoticed. It progressed in a few giggles then steady footsteps following behind him. He cursed himself for leaving without security or not telling anyone where exactly he was going. "Excuse me?" A girlish voice said behind him, followed by a few giggles. "Are you Lee Heeseung?" he ignored the question, his footsteps growing quicker hopefully signaling to the group of teenage girls that he wanted to be left alone. That of course didn't work. The quicker his footsteps became the quicker the girls did. Soon he felt himself sprinting towards a random path. Trying to find anyway to get away from the forming crowd of girls and their fan-girling.

Heeseung made his way around a corner, the sound of the rushed footsteps behind him being his only driving fuel to get away. He continued down the street, spotting a small alleyway not too far in the distance. He was far enough away that he could split down the alley and hopefully lose the crowd of giggling girls behind him. His blood pumped to his chest as he continued on down, not sprinting down the alley until the very last second. He found the door of a small unknown business wide open, it looked empty void of any customers or any person that could possibly recognize him. Good, he could hide in here until the crowd of girls died down and he was safe enough to make a run for the HYBE building.

He entered the small store quickly making his way behind a huge section of bookshelves lined with rows and rows of books that would make him invisible to the outside looking in. This was perfect he could hide in here while the crowd outside dispersed. He held onto the bookshelf his breath coming out in small pants. Heeseung rested his head against a row of books finally able to level out his breathing enough to calm his rapidly beating heart. When his heart had finally settled down he took a peak around the shelf to look outside of the ajar bookstore door.

Voices still echoed outside in the alley. Distant shouts of "Have you seen him?' "Where did he go" still being heard from outside. Heeseung took the time to turn, sitting himself on the floor leaning against the huge shelf. He brought his knees to his chest, his head spinning from finally settling down. He couldn't believe how stupid he was, to even think for a second that he could go for a walk outside to clear his head like any other person. Nothing was ever that simple and to the outside world he wasn't just a person. He was the king's jester so to speak. He was entertainment to all of the people around him, his privacy meant nothing to them. He was here only to give them pieces of himself. Days like this made him hate idol life. Something he used to cherish more than anything else.

Heeseung looked around at his surroundings. He had already gathered that he was in a bookstore but finally he was able to really look around. It was a small cozy shop that he definitely has never seen before. He wasn't much of a reader so things like bookstores weren't really on his radar when looking for things to do and places to go during his off days. The bookstore was cute. it had its normal rows and rows of bookshelves filled with books of all different genres. It had an old smell, it didn't smell bad just old. This bookstore felt loved.

Heeseung turned slightly to see a smaller sized grand piano in the corner of the tiny shop. It had taken up a big portion of the small shop. The piano was beautiful. The black paint was chipped on it. The black on the keys semi faded, someone had loved it, took care of it, used it often. Heeseing smiled softly at the thought of someone sitting here day and night playing the piano softly as people browsed the store looking for the most perfect book to indulge in.

The thought brought Heeseung a sense of peace. Peace that quickly transformed itself into envy. He bet that whoever ran this shop enjoyed the small things in life. They didn't have to run from groups of teenage girls on the street, they didn't have to work six days a week preparing shows and exhausting themselves all for the pleasure of someone else. No, this person definitely played piano, read and talked about perfect stories all day, enjoying their perfect life. Heeseungs mood turned even sour at the thought. He rose from his spot on the floor peaking over the shelf one more time to see if he could spot anyone still lingering near by.

He wasn't able to look for long before the sound of a soft voice broke him from any concentration he had. "Sir, do you need any help?" He jumped in his skin. Turning around quickly, coming face to face with a girl. Her head was titled, a perplexed looked on her face. "Are you...hiding?" Heeseung assumed that she had not yet pieced together who it was she was talking to. He wished for just a second he could pause time, not wanting to have to face this girl who will in no time recognize who he is, ruining all the hiding he just did. She'll alert the girls that still lingered in the alley and they'll run here in an instant.

"Shh" He said quietly, putting his finger to his face mask just over his lips. "Are you sushin-" The girl started to say, Heeseungs eyes widened. Waving his hands in front of himself "Please don't tell them I'm here!" He rushed the words out. The girl quirked an eyebrow at him, confusion written all over her face. "Who..." She drawled out. She pointed around the empty shop "There is no one here, sir" Heeseung let it register in his mind that this was the second time she had called him Sir. Maybe she didn't have any idea who he was. It was probably wishful thinking but the idea calmed him down just a bit. The panic quickly set in, if she didn't know who he was then he definitely looked like a crazy person to her. "I'm..sorry" he let out. "I was just leaving"

"Are you in need of help?" The girl asked, her voice like honey. Heeseung could tell for sure now that this girl had no idea who he was, he wasn't certain if that was because of his mask, hoodie and hat or if this girl just really didn't pay attention to media, either way he would take either one over the screaming girls he encountered just minutes prior. "No, no I'm alright. Thank you for your time" He quickly bowed, sending her a small smile he knew she couldn't see due to the mask then rushed out of the small secluded bookstore in a hurry.

LATER

Another day, another what seemed like endless meeting. Enhypen's team was in full tour planning mode. Nonstop were they talking about schedules, music, choreography and stops for upcoming shows. It was a loop of responsibilities that didn't have an end. Heeseung felt like a puppet, like an inanimate being, being controlled by a higher power for the entertainment of someone else. Heeseung didn't feel real, everyday he was loosing himself to the void of life. He felt robotic whenever he responded to his team and managements questions.

His day to day life was set to auto and he did only what he was told, said only what he was told. The only thought that belonged to him was the when he was thinking about the bookstore and the girl who worked in it. When did life get so bleak that he started to envy someone who lived such a simple life. He's only ever known wanting what he has In this moment and now here he is, wishing for everything but. Heeseung thought of the old warn out piano that sat in the corner of that run down bookstore, how loved the beautiful instrument was, how he found himself longing to go back, sit on the bench and press the keys one by one.

He was truly taken aback how that girl really didn't recognize who he was. Heeseing wasn't cocky, or self absorbed at all, he just wasn't dumb. He knew how popular Enhypen was, practically every young girl knew who he was, so when he finds a strange girl around his age that doesn't know who he is, while that's rare. It made him want to go back to talk to her. He longed for conversation with someone who didn't want something out of him. Sure he could talk to the other members but it wasn't the same. He wanted to talk to someone who didn't know him, didn't know what he did everyday. He wanted a clean slate. Heeseung debated risking it all and going back to the bookstore, just of a glimpse of that normalcy just once again.

He and the other members would be flying to Japan tomorrow, any chance of going back to the bookstore was shot. Heeseung knew what his priorities needed to be and no matter how much he wished to go back he knew he couldn't. Not yet at least.

"In Japan we need everyone on their A game, no distractions. We have a lot prepared. These shows need to be perfect." The Manager said to the group of seven boys sitting at the conference room table. "There will be a line of interviews ready too. We expect you to use your media training wisely.."

Heeseung found himself once again tuning out the team. Thinking of the bookstore and surprisingly of the girl whose name he didn't even know. He knew once he was back from Japan, the first thing he would do is find out.

IN JAPAN

Heeseung always thought Japan was beautiful, from its bustling businesses to its delicious food and fashionable people roaming the busy streets visiting all the shops Japan had to offer. It used to be one of his favorite things traveling to Japan with the rest of the enhypen members. Today, he didn't feel that way. Today Heeseung felt that finding joy even in such a beautiful country was elusive.

All the members were due to be at in interview in under an hour. Heeseung, of course had a hard time concentrating on business, his mind elsewhere like it was often nowadays. He had to remind himself several times this morning to get it together, to concentrate for at least a few hours and get through these first round of interviews. Heeseung was worried that he would alert the other members of his void of emotion, he had to do some serious acting in order to get them off his back. A task he knew would be difficult since they knew him pretty well. They knew when he wasn't all the way there.

Heeseung was naive, he knew that the members were aware of his quarter life crisis, he just prayed that they would hold off on confronting him. He would get his act together soon right? This over whelming self doubt surely wasn't going to last too much longer. Right? He did his best in reassuring himself.

Heeseung shook the thought away readying himself for the interview he was currently getting his hair and makeup done for. The manager was prepping them on things they might be asked and the proper ways to answer them. Most often then not interviews went smoothly for Enhypen. Personal questions weren't really asked too often. Which Heeseung was incredibly grateful for. The boy didn't feel like talking about himself right now. He was hopeful that most the questions were about the group as a whole and not so much about them individually.

Finally after what felt like forever, The boys were called over to take their places on the stools set up for them. Soon enough after they got comfortable the interview was in full swing.

"The hints for this up coming comeback seem very different then anything else you guys have ever released. Would you say this is definitely a different vibe than what your fans are used to?" The interviewer asked, adjusting his tie Jay cleared his throat and nodded his head "I would say its different, I think this comeback is a lot more personal to who were are as people, its not so much about the vampire concept were all used to." Jungwon nodded along with Jay. "We feel more human in this comeback if that makes sense?" The interviewer chuckled nodding his head along with what Jungwon was saying.

Heeseung looked at the interviewer his eyes narrowing at the cue card he had in his hand, he read the text on the top of it. His mind drifted to a magazine that he had briefly seen at the small bookstore he visited the other day. It had the same print on the cover.

Heeseung assumed it was one of their magazines. He found himself lost in thought of the bookstore once again, would this company publish the magazine with a feature of Enhypen in it? Heeseung hoped not, for some odd reason he liked that bookstore girl had no idea who he was and he wanted to keep it that way. What if he decided to go back and she recognized him? He dreaded that feeling. Although small and rundown, Heeseung was starting to look forward to going back and acting like someone normal. He wanted that tiny bookstore to be his getaway from all the fame and the immense pressures of Idol life.

"Heeseung!" A sharp voice broke him from his thoughts, he glanced at Jungwon who had a furrowed brow quirked in his direction. "I'm sorry, say that again?" Heeseung stuttered out looking around the room at all the eyes now on him. One set of eyes stuck out to him more then the others, His manager looked more angry then he's every seen him before. All chances Heeseung had at hiding what was going on in his raging mind was gone. He'd been caught and he knew for certain there would be hell to pay once leaving the interview.

Heeseung was right, there was hell to pay and he was paying it right now. In this small room at the hotel. The room was filled with all seven Enhypen members, Enhypen's management and some of their staff. All eyes were on him as he hung his head low, the embarrassment from today's interviewing consuming his entire body.

"We have dealt with your spacing out for far too long. It's been unnoticed thus far until you went and embarrassed us all with it today. What were you thinking?!" Heeseung had no words, what could he say? He messed up. He let his resolve down. He was failing at covering up his inner turmoil. "Honestly Heeseung are you okay? You haven't been the same for weeks" Sunoo murmured sitting down next to Heeseung resting his arm on the older boys shoulders.

"My head just hurts" Heeseung mumbled trying to find the right words to get them off his back. He wasn't very sure that he could talk his way out of this one though, everyone in this room knew he was lying. It was not a simple headache that made Heeseung mess up today.

"That's an unacceptable response. You need to get your act together or the consequences will be dire. You will do damage control tomorrow with the interview we have first thing in the morning, do I make myself clear?" Heeseung nodded to the manager. "Yes" he said lowly, his head still hanging down in embarrassment. He couldn't bring himself to look at all the people he had let down today.

The staff and Management walked out without another word, leaving all seven boys to deal with the aftermath of the serious conversation that just took place.

"Heeseung.." Sunoo whispered into the quiet, awkward room "Let us help-"

"I'm fine." Heeseung spoke firmly cutting Sunoo off. "I'll get it together ok?" He looked around at the six boys, their worried expressions making his heart sink to his stomach. This is what he wanted to avoid the most. The longing looks of pity from the people closest to him. He couldn't burden them any longer with this.

Heeseung rose from his seat and walked out the door without so much as a single glance at the remaining members in the room.

BACK IN SEOUL

Heeseung did the damage control he needed to do the day after the disastrous interview like he was supposed to do. The rest of the Japan tour went without a hitch. The members and management seemed satisfied with Heeseungs act. The boy felt as if he could breathe after getting everyone off his back and he intended to keep it that way.

All the boys have been back from the Japan tour for a week now and with such a busy schedule Heeseung was unable to return to the bookstore yet. While on break from filming an en oclock episode today Heeseung took it upon himself to search all the bookstores in the area searching for the name of the old bookstore he was trapped in. He found it after a lengthy look on the internet, all the well known bookstores over shadowing the one he was looking for in particular.

When he had finally found it he couldn't help but let out a small chuckle at the name. Its simplicity had made Heeseung feel oddly calm. The little bookstore that had been plaguing His mind for the past month had been named "Bound" What a sweet, simple name. He loved it, and today he was determined to visit Bound and find the nameless bookeeper who had equally plagued his mind.

That's exactly what he did as soon as the en o'clock episode had been wrapped for the day. Heeseung suited up in his face mask, beanie and hoodie and made his way to the bookstore as stealthily as he could. Fearsome of getting caught once again Heeseung hurried along. When he had finally reached Bound he was relieved to find the door was closed today and not propped open like it had been the day he had hid in there.

The door made a chime as he entered the small store, the smell of old books greeted him, he was never more happy to smell it before this. He took a look at the magazine rack that he remembered looking at when he was in here for the first time. Luckily the issues hadn't changed, they weren't updated to the ones that Heeseung and the rest of Enhypen were on. His breathe of relief left quickly, his shoulders relaxing slightly.

"You're back" A voice said from behind him. The boy turned to look at the same girl he had been thinking about for the past month. "I am" he said smiling at her. "Anyone following you today or are you stalker free?" The girl teased, grabbing books from a massive cart next to her and adding said books to the shelf in neat rows.

"Yeah sorry about that" Heeseung winced "sometimes I'm a little paranoid." He played it off, not trying to give too much away about his life but also trying not to look like a complete crazy person at the same time.

"No problem" The girl hummed. "Are you here for a specific book today?" She continued to add books to the row, switching some around as needed. She looked completely comfortable. Moving around the shop like she was floating, her movements so effortless as if this life hasn't tainted her at all. She moved like someone who was content, who had loved what she was doing and didn't intend on stopping anytime soon.

The same envy Heeseung had felt looking at the worn out piano the first time he was here was back but instead it was directed at a person he believed had used that same piano. "I'm not sure.." Heeseung trailed off "I'm not much of a reader" he remarked looking around the shop at various books. It was suddenly becoming overwhelming how much reading material there was out there.

"That's ok!" The girl said excitedly "I love helping people find their preferred genre. What are you into?" She jumped a bit in place, the excitement clear on her pretty face. It made Heeseung feel fuzzy, not used to such an energetic person this close to him. It was dizzying looking at her, his mind went blank. What did he like? That was a question he couldn't even answer. He must look so lame to this girl, who was probably just trying to do her job.

"I-i don't know" Heeseung admitted sheepishly "I like playing games?" He said unsure. How stupid was he; games really? What could that possibly have to do with books.

"Okay" She smiled at him "That's a start. There are a lot of books with games or even books that take place in video games. How cool is that?" This girls energy made Heeseung a bit uneasy in a way that wasn't familiar to him. It wasn't a bad uneasy feeling though. He felt drawn to her, like she was a light that he needed in such a bleak and dreary life he had been living recently. He had known this girl for such a short time but the pull he felt to her was as compelling as it was scary. This girl was a mystery wrapped in a big pink bow. So effortlessly bright and shiny. He needed to know her name, he needed to know her.

"What's your name?" he blurted out, completely abandoning the topic of books and taking a leap at formalities right away. Heeseung realized that he could possibly be scaring this girl away, but the overwhelming feeling to get as much information about her was all too consuming that he found himself not caring much.

"Y/n" The girl sheepishly replied, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Yours?" Heeseung felt struck. She really really didn't know who he was. That excited him. "Heeseung" he replied. "It's nice to meet you" She quirked her head to the side, the smile on her face widening a little bit. "Why are you in a bookstore if you don't read?"

The question caught him off guard, he didn't know how to answer it. How could he. He didn't want to tell her he came to talk to her or that he had came because this was the one place he felt normal in. He just shrugged in response "Looking for new hobbies and what not.." He started to walk around her grazing his fingertips against the various books. The shop was small enough that he could walk a little ways away and still be able to talk to her directly. That and the fact that it was completely empty in here save for Y/n and himself.

"oh- I see" She teased nodding her head "You're pretentious."

Heeeseung started to nod "Yes I- wait no" He looked over at her in bewilderment. A grin graced her face stretching her smile wide. She was teasing him and he loved it. "I'm just taking up a new hobby that's all" He continued to walk around, stopping at the piano. He placed his fingers over the keys, slightly running his fingertips over the various keys imagining what notes he would play for what songs. Y/n trailed behind him slightly, Watching him in keen interest.

"Do you play?" she asked setting a book she had in her hand down onto a random shelf. She joined him next to the piano. "A little" Heeseung admitted "Not much" Which wasn't a total lie. He played music for a living he just didn't want to go too far into the details of it.

"Do you?" he asked her. She nodded sitting down at the piano "My mom taught me when I was a little girl, I'm not so good anymore but I love the instrument it's beautiful. Especially this one even though she hasn't been played in awhile" He sat himself next to her on the bench. He made sure to keep his distance not to make her uncomfortable by being too close to her.

He pressed down on a random key, then soon he allowed his fingers to glide over the keys playing a familiar melody. He turned to look over at her, her face held a small smile. The smile struck him, she really was beautiful. He slowed his movements continuing to look at her as she watched him play the old piano beautifully. As soon as he was done playing, he felt a breath leave his lips. The nerves in his body dissipating.

"You call that only playing a little?' Y/n said, looking over at Heeseung in amazement. "That was beautiful" Heeseung bashfully looked away from her. He was slightly embarrassed with how vulnerable he had just been, with someone who was practically a stranger to him. She didn't feel much like a stranger though, and something tells Heeseung that his playing on the piano had made her feel the same way. She was smiling at him still, it rendered Heeseung paralyzed in his seat. When he looked at her a lot of things made sense, but also a lot of things didn't make sense. That didn't bother him though, cause her smile didn't need to make sense. It just needed to exist and he'd do everything he could to make sure it never went away.

This feeling was a scary one. Boy was he in trouble.

Over the course of a few weeks Heeseung found himself at Bound almost everyday of the week after work. Him and y/n sat at the piano, playing and talking for hours. Sometimes he would watch her put books onto shelves or organize displays while they talked about random things. He learned that Y/n loved green tea and Tteok-bokki when it was cold. She told him how she would sometimes leave the bookstores door open so the stray cats could wander in and she could feed them. They laughed about the same elderly lady who came in every Sunday night to buy a new erotica novel. He told her things about himself as well, he told her how he loved to play games on his computer late into the night even if he had to work the next morning. He told her how he hated the taste of mint chocolate ice cream but would always look for it at the store because one his best friends loved it. He told her how he loved music and sometimes he would write songs at the park in the middle of the night if he couldn't sleep.

He told her so much yet so little, because even though he wanted Y/n to know everything about him there was one thing he hoped she would never discover. He dreaded her finding out that he was an idol. He loved this thing they had going on, it felt too normal, too good. He didn't want to taint it by telling her about his tours, or his fans or his money. The little world they had built in this small shop was more than enough for him, he wouldn't risk ruining it by letting the real world creep in. So he lied. He told her he worked at a small company further into the city, that that was the reason he mainly came to see her in the evening or why he sometimes would have to go on business trips away.

He loathed lying to her but it was the only way to stay in this perfect bubble they had formed around the two of them.

Heeseung was currently finishing up recording vocals for a new song they were making. He felt antsy he wanted to finish and hurry over to Bound. He had planned to bring Y/n a green tea from a small cafe he really enjoyed that was on the way to the bookstore. Sunghoon, Jungwon, Sunoo, Ni-ki and himself sat in the small space outside of the recording booth while Jay and Jake were in the booth recording lines. His leg bounced in anticipation causing Sunghoon to look over at him.

"What's with you?" Sunghoon asked suddenly, the other boys looked up from their phones to see what Sunghoon was talking about. "What?" Heeseung said "I'm waiting till they’re done, so I can go for a walk"

"a walk?" Jungwon questioned not believing Heeseung's lie at all. "You're going on another walk? you've been on a walk every single day for the past two weeks. How many walks do you need." Heeseung looked down at his feet unable to lie straight to their faces. He couldn't possibly tell them the truth. They would absolutely ream him. They all know how bad a dating rumor would be right now. Especially after the mess Heeseung had caused in Japan. They couldn't afford more bad press. "It helps me clear my head" Heeseung spoke softy still not looking the other members in the eye.

"I hope whatever you're actually doing is worth it Hee." Ni-ki says from his place on the couch across from him "And that you're being careful." The youngest boy looked worriedly at his hyung but didn't pry any further then that.

"I am" Heeseung responded "And it is worth it."

---

Heeseung made his way to Bound, two green teas in both hands. There was a bounce in his step as he made his way to the open door. Before entering Heeseung heard a soft melodic giggle come from inside. A tightness in his chest formed at the sound. It was beautiful, he knew it came from Y/N. He could have sworn he memorized her laugh by now. The softness to it made his insides feel like mush. He walked through the door of the bookstore to be greeted by Y/n bent down petting a small orange cat. The cat was eating out of a tiny dish that looked handmade from clay and painted a pastel pink color. He could easily see the sculpted cat ears that stuck out of the top of the small dish.

The scene before him looked straight out of a rom-com when the male lead sees the cute girl for the first time doing something utterly adorable he couldn’t help but fall in love at first sight. Y/n was humming along to a song Heeseung recognized as a song they played on the piano together a few days ago. It must have been stuck in her head. The thought gave him comfort, has she been thinking about him as much as he’s been thinking about her? He really hoped so.

He laughed a little which seemed to startle the girl who was peacefully petting the cat. She whipped around facing Heeseung with a narrow to her big E/c eyes “Heeseung! You nearly gave me a heart attack!” She rose from the ground dusting off her jeans before sending Heeseung her bright signature smile.

“Is that for me?” She asked coyly pointing to the cup in Heeseungs hand. “Nah, they’re both mine” Heeseung said playfully bringing both cups closer to his body.

“Oh.” Y/n let out, a blush dusting her cheeks at the embarrassment “Sorry i assumed…-“

“I’m joking!” Heeseung laughed thrusting the cup of green tea towards her “Of course it’s for you” Y/n’s eyes widened, the blush spreading further across her face and neck. “Thank you” she whispered sipping the tea slowly. “Green tea, my favorite”

“I know it is” Heeseung boasted. He turned to the cat who was now licking the small food dish clean. “Who’s this little guy here?” He bent down petting the cat behind the ears. The Cat gratefully accepted his petting titling his head and letting out a little pur.

“This is Duck” Y/n said cheerfully “He’s a stray cat that always visits me. I feed him food everytime he stops by” She bent back down joining Heeseung in petting the cat softly. "Why Duck?" Heeseung questioned the goofy name for a cat.

"He waddles a little like a duck when he walks. It's the cutest thing ever" Y/n explained like it was the most normal thing ever. To Y/n it was probably the most normal thing ever. The stray cats were just a normal occurrence in her simple life. The envy crept back into Heeseung's thoughts, he hated himself for it. He decided to push the thoughts to the back of his mind and focused on what he came here to do.

"I can't stay too long tonight" Heeseung uttered "I have an early morning flight tomorrow" Heeseung set his half empty green tea down on the counter where they stood. "Oh" said glumly. "I hope you have a great business trip" She gave Heeseung a tight lipped smile.

The mention of a business trip made Heeseung feel queasy, the lie that hung in the air squeezed at him. He simply couldn't tell her in the truth, he would do anything to keep this serenity going. This was a special friendship he had never had before he couldn't ruin it. No matter how much it pained him to keep it from her, he would keep up the act and make her believe him to be just a normal young man with an equally as normal day job at a boring office in the city and besides was it really a lie? He didn't tell her directly that he was an office worker she simply just assumed it and he didn't correct her.

Heeseung seemed satisfied with that thought, it was not a lie just a small omission of the truth.

"I'm going to the states" He had told her as she began to walk around the store carrying books in hand readying herself to stock the shelves with various books. "Really?" she gasped in excitement "I've never been to the states i've always wanted to go!" She set a stack of books down onto a big empty table. A display in the making Heeseung assumed. "It's beautiful there, maybe one day I can take you" Y/n smiled slightly looking up at Heeseung "I'd like that"

It was simply thing to say, yet it still made Heeseung's heart pound in his chest. She could be doing the most simple things and Heeseung would feel like he couldn't breathe. "I'd like that too" He uttered softly after a while of just staring at her. "Very much" Maybe a little too much.

---

Heeseung was enjoying his day off in LA the day before the concert, the weather was nice, he had just finished a good meal and now he was taking a walk along a street filled with various stores and shops. Most of the boys were roaming around with him, going into different stores snd buying multiple things like clothes, jewelry and anything else that caught their eyes. Heeseung hadn't bought anything yet. Nothing in particular had really interested him. He really enjoyed watching the scenery.

The group continued to walk down the very bust street when suddenly Heeseung was tugged into a huge store with Sunoo. The older boy looked around noticing that the store was a bookstore called Barnes and noble. "I love this store" Sunoo beamed at Heeseung and Jungwon who had followed them.

His thoughts immediately went to bound and then to y/n. She would love this store there was no doubt about it. Heeseung started to walk around looking at the various books all in English. He found a small section in the back filled with romance books, the covers all pastel colored and bright. He noticed a book that he recognized y/n would talk about all the time. It was from an author that she wasn't able to order for the store, she always talked about how she wanted to read their books. Heeseung picked up four different books from the author and took them up to checkout to pay for them.

Jungwon joined Heeseung at checkout looking at the stack of books in confusion. "Why are you buying those?" He asked, picking one of the books up, it had a pastel pick color with various illustrations of different flowers.

"They're for me" Heeseung lied, taking the book from Jungwon's hands "This is for you?" Jungwon didn't look convinced at all. Heeseung knew that Jungwon didn't believe his lie one bit. "Yeah, I want to read...romance novels more often in my spare time" Heeseung cringed a little at the lie, but it was better then telling the truth.

Jungwon gave Heeseung a strange look but decided not to question him further.

A little later after the team had all eaten dinner and it was time to settle down for the night Heeseung opened his phone snapping a picture of the stack of books sending a message to y/n.

Heeseung: found these today I know you've been looking for them so I got a few for you.

Heeseung didn't expect a response it was currently the early morning hours In Korea. To his surprise only five minutes after he sent the message didn't he hear a ring coming from his phone, Y/n was calling him. He answered right away not be able to get a single word in before he heard her groggily say "Heeseung why did you buy me those books? How much were they? I'll pay you back!"

The boy let out a soft chuckle "You're not paying me back" was all he. said, Y/n groaned on the other end "Heeseung, you have to take them back I can't let you do that"

"I wanted to. I'm not taking them back Y/n they're for you, they weren't expensive and I know how badly you wanted them." The line was silent for a brief moment, it made Heeseung nervous. Was y/n angry with him?

"Thank you." Y/n said softly "You didn't have to do that, thank you" Her voice was soft Heeseung felt like mush at the sound of her tired voice. "Don't worry about it." was all he could muster up in response.

"Aren't you tired?" She asked him "is it late there?"

"its not too late here, how was your day yesterday did Duck come and visit again?" Heeseung struck up a conversation not ready to let y/n go just yet. Her voice was soothing him, helping him feel relaxed. "Mrs. Kang came by today to buy the most recently erotica novel we got in, she asked me once again if I had a boyfriend." Y/n laughed "I told her I had my eye on someone but that I was still single, like always"

"Interesting.." Heeseung said jokingly "You've got your eye on someone huh?"

"Maybe.." The girl trailed off "He'll have to meet Duck's friends Maple and Ivy, he needs their approval." Heeseung let out a little laugh "I guess he'll have to arrange that soon."

"very soon if possible."

----

BACK IN SEOUL

Heeseung hadn't been back for even a whole day before he was setting out to see Y/n at Bound. He had his signature face ask, beanie and hoodie on walking along the streets ambiguously, a slight pep in his step at the thought of seeing Y/n after being on tour in the states for nearly a month. Him and Y/n talked everyday but it simply didn't compare to being in the small shop together, playing the piano and enjoying the company of each other. To say Heeseung was excited would be an understatement.

As Heeseung was nearing the door to Bound a sound had him stopping in his tracks, the piano was playing softly. It was a song he was sure he's never heard. before. He peaked his. head into the store. being careful to not be heard. Y/n sat with her back to the door, on the bench to the piano. Her fingers glided over the keys effortlessly as she played one of the most beautiful melodies Heeseung has ever. heard before. He watched from afar as she continued, pressing the keys down with such delicacy it made Heeseungs head spin.

She truly was a sight for sore eyes, he was mesmerized. Heeseung decided that this is something he wished to see forever, that this image no matter what happens from this day going forward would be something he would think about for the rest of his life. It was the first time he ever felt a love so deep for someone it was suffocating. He had known y/n only a short time but in that short time she managed to consume his entire being. His days consisted of thinking of her and only her.

The music started to fade out, the song ending. Heeseung didn't want It to end, he wanted her to play forever.

Once the music had ended Heeseung had heard Y/n let out a shaky breathe. She was crying, the small sniffle leaving her being another indication of that. Heeseung rushed her side, sitting down in the seat beside her on the bench. "are you okay?" he rushed out worriedly. Y/n jumped in her seat. Heeseung had scared her, she hurriedly wiped her face trying to rid the tears from her eyes that traveled down her cheeks.

"You scared me!" The girl exclaimed, resting a palm to her chest.

"I'm sorry" Heeseung said apologetically "Why are you crying" He repeated. Y/n just smiled "I wasn't crying" She let out an awkward laugh but Heeseung found nothing funny. He needed to know what was bothering her, he needed to know how he could fix it.

"Y/n." He said sternly "Are you okay?" Y/n looked down unable to meet Heeseungs eyes. "Today is December 12th" Heeseung was confused. He knew it was December 12th he just didn't understand why that would make Y/n so upset. The boy said nothing, hoping the confusion on his face was enough persuasion for Y/n to continue.

"Today is the anniversary of my mother's death" Heeseung felt his heart sink to his toes. Her mother's death anniversary was today. Here she was playing the piano so beautifully thinking of her mother who had taught her how much to love the instrument. Heeseung didn't know how to respond, sitting there frozen.

"I'm sorry" Y/n said quickly getting up from the bench in a hurry "This must be such a let down- ill understand if you want to le-"

"Tell me about her" Heeseung had said, cutting the girl off. "I want to know about her, tell me. If that's okay?" Y/n's fake contorted in shock, a clear indicator that she didn't expect Heeseung to asks about her mom. She found herself appreciating it.

"I don't remember too much about her to be honest" Y/n started looking down at the keys of the piano. "I was nine years old when she passed away. It's weird to describe but I don't remember defined details of her as much as I remember the feeling of her, remember the smell of her." Her words were a soft whisper, but to Heeseung she didn't look uncomfortable with the conversation, so quietly he sat giving her as much time as she needed to continue.

"She left me a letter." The girl said taking a shaky breath. "That was all I had of her after she had passed away, I read it every single night for the next four years..until the night my father found it. He ripped it angrily. The last thing I had of her" Heeseung tried his hardest to keep the surprise but also disgust from presenting itself on his face. "My mother committed suicide. My father was so angry about it that weren't allowed to talk about her, we weren't allowed to have things of her. He wanted to erase her entirely from our lives."

"My mother and father met here, at this exact store. My Mom worked here while she attended college. My father was from America, he was here for college and research projects he had. He loved the culture." Heeseung sat still, listening intently to what the girl was saying. He grasped every single word she said, not wanting to miss a single second.

"They loved each other so much in the beginning, got married quickly, had me ever quicker after that. They were the perfect couple. Until they weren't, I don't know what it was.. It was like a switch. My dad started drinking heavily around the time I turned eight. He became a raging alcoholic in no time. In becoming an alcoholic became the abuse."

"He started to abuse my mom, first verbally then physically. He was horrible to her. I would hide in the bathtub at night with the water running to try and drown out the sounds of him hitting her." A small tear escaped Y/n's eyes cascading down her cheek. Heeseung felt his chest tighten but still he kept perfectly still allowing y/n to take a moment to breathe.

"I guess after a year my mother had enough, she couldn't do it anymore. I went to school, my father to work. She wrote a note out to me, took herself into the bathroom and.." Y/n trailed off more tears escaping her eyes. Heeseung put his hand over hers squeezing lightly so that she knew he was here and for her to take her time as needed.

"I came home after school and found her. The note was the only thing that kept me from going insane. My father didn't cope. His drinking got worse, he got angry if any little thing reminded him of mom. So when he came into my room that night and found me reading the letter I was really ready for him to do the same thing to me that he did to my mom."

"But he didn't, he took the letter from my hands, laughed as I cried for him to give it back then ripped it to shreds in front of me. Sometimes I wish he would have just hit me instead, surely that would have been so much less painful then him taking the one thing I had left of my mom." Heeseung's thumb grazed over Y/n's hand still offering her the comfort of himself.

"I don't think I forgave him for that..Even after he later left. The same way my mom had." Heeseungs breath felt short. "The week of my thirtieth birthday my father woke up one day and gave me the best week of my life. I was too young and foolish, I thought he had changed just like that overnight. I was stupid back then" Y/n let out a little chuckle one that Heeseung could tell was in bitterness and not in amusement.

"You were a child..." Heeseung said "You couldn't have known."

Y/n smiled at him sadly. "He gave me the best week of my life, My thirtieth birthday was the best one I had ever had. I went back to school the following Monday and was pulled out of third period with the news that my dad had also taken his life."

"He gave me the best week of my life then left me. I didn't understand, sometimes I still don't understand. Mrs Choi took me in, my mother had known her when she worked here at bound, Mrs. Choi owns Bound. I've lived in this bookstore ever since. Oddly enough I think this store saved me in a lot of ways."

"How are you not more angry? How do you get up everyday and smile at strangers and hum along to little tunes in your head while organizing books. How do you not dwell on what your life could be like had your parents not done what they?" Heeseung questioned. He truly couldn't understand how she could be so strong.

It was marveling. The boy was also completely embarrassed at the fact that he had judged her so sharply in the beginning, coining her as a girl with a perfect life, with perfect parents. That wasn't the case at all, she was just so strong.

"I've realized you have to take control of your life before it takes control of you. If you dwell too much on the past you'll never grow and growth is the only way to change. I can't be angry at the I can't change, the things that weren't my fault. I can only move on and provide a life for myself that's worth living. and this life here, at this bookstore, well to me, that's a life worth living" The bright smile that Heeseung loved so much was back. He was in awe of her. In awe of her beauty, in her strength, in her innocence. It was unnerving how utterly beautiful she was, sitting here in the dim light of this old musty bookstore on an equally as old bench, playing an out of tune piano that sounded like it was on its last leg.

She was a person he didn't know he needed but now that she was here he couldn't imagine a single second a life where she didn't have this smile, where she didn't radiate such a sunshine that he felt the heat of it in his chest. She was bright and warm, and he was not. She made him want to be.

Heeseung looked in her the eyes a small smile on his lips, a rosy blush covered her cheeks. Y/n looked down sheepishly clearly embarrassed a little. "I'm in awe of you" Heeseung mumbled, watching as Y/n trailed her eyes back up to his. "Can I kiss you?" He whispered so softly she was beginning to wonder if he had even said it at all. Her nod was all the affirmation he needed.

"Please do" His lips captured her in an instant. It was soft yet heated, the perfect balance of him and her. The explosion of him heat she radiated melted away his icy exterior leaving him a puddle of himself. Heeseung wouldn't want it any other way. He reveled in the way his body gave way to hers, how his heart had chipped away at itself only to offer the pieces to y/n on a silver platter.

For the first time in all that he could remember Heeseung was ready to give himself away completely. Her hands had made their way around his neck latching at the nape and twirling the tiny pieces of hair between her fingertips. This was heaven Heeseung chanted in his head over and over. He's died, there was no other way this was happening. The boy felt greedy as he pushed himself into the kiss harder. He needed to cherish this, every last second of it.

When it was over and he needed to catch his breath he detached himself from her, a smile on his face wider then its ever been before. He had her and he wasn't letting her go anytime soon.

---

Heeseung felt giddy as he walked up the steps to the dorm that night. He had stayed another hour with y/n before kissing her goodnight and making his way home. Heeseung felt like he was on cloud nine.

The feeling quickly dissipated when he entered the dorm to find it filled with staff, the other members and his manager. His manager sported a sour expression as all previously mentioned people turned too look at him.

"Where were you?" His manager said getting right to it, wasting no time in questioning Heeseung. Heeseung struggled to think of a quick excuse, one that sounded believable at that.

"Out on a walk.." Heeseung started to say before a crash of paper on table startled him.

"Do not lie to me!" Heeseung looked down at the paper on the table, a very blurry picture of him sitting on the piano bench in the window of Bound on the cover. Y/n sat next to him her face as equally as blurry as his, her features not distinguishable at all.

"That's- That's not me-" He was once again cut off by the stern voice of her manager. "Jesus Christ Heeseung we know that's you." Jay said angrily. A mixture of hurt and frustration on his face. All the members sporting the same expression. He was caught in a lie, one he told them too. They were understandably hurt by it.

"who is this girl?" His Manager said pointing at the blurry picture of Y/n "She works at the bookstore, she was ju-"

"if you're going to lie to me it will be so much worse for you." Heeseung sucked in a breath thinking of a million and one things to say to try and get them off his back.

"She's a random girl I go and see every once in a while ok? She means nothing to me, she doesn't know who I am so I use her to feel normal. it's like a game, a hobby that's it." Heeseing felt disgusting as soon as the sentence left his mouth but it was the only thing her could think of it in such a short time. He was in-between a rock and a hard place here, back into a corner that was starting to suffocate him.

"You will stop seeing this girl, am I heard?' His manager stated giving Heeseung a look that said not to disagree with him. Heeseung meekly nodded watching as the staff and manager left without another word.

After they had all left Heeseung turned to see all members staring at him.

"She's not just nothing to you" Jake said "You like this girl"

"it doesn't matter anyway" Heeseung said shaking his head "not like I can see her again." Jungwon got up from his spot, sitting down next to Heeseung. "Why didn't you tell us?" The oldest boy just shrugged "It wasn't supposed to be anything, it just kind of happened and I didn't know how to stop it after that."

"You can tell us anything Heeseung." Jay said patting Heeseung on the back "You didn't have to hide this from us."

"I'm sorry." Was all Heeseung responded with, he needed to find out how he was going to continue to see Y/n without anyone really finding out.

LATER

It was cold today Y/n thought as she propped open the door to the bookstore. The girl was thinking of texting Heeseung and asking him to bring over some hot green tea when he was inevitably going to come see her tonight.

Y/n was fixing shelves and displays when she heard footsteps behind her, she turned with a smile ready to greet the customer "Hi, welcome to bound! let me know if you need anything, ill be more then happy to help you!"

There person at the door walked to her a hard expression on his face. "Y/n?" The Man said making Y/n furrow her eyebrows in confusion. "That's me...do I know you?"

"No, but I have something for you" The man pulled a small piece of equipment from his jacket, it was almost comical how movie like this man was trying to be. Y/n wanted to laugh but knew now was not the time to laugh at this stranger.

"I'm ordering you to stay away from Lee Heeseung or you'll be hearing from HYBE lawyers" The man said handed her what looked to be a hard drive of some sort.

"you're...ordering me to stay away from Heeseing?" The girl asked, all sense of amusement now gone. Instead it was replaced with pure anger. "You cannot come in here and order me to do anything!" Y/n stated firmly.

The man laughed, laughed! He was amused by this. "I can." He said "Lee Heeseung is bound by HYBE contracts, he as an Idol cannot be caught in dating scandals. Especially not in one with a nobody such as yourself. I hope you understand"

"An idol?" Y/n said bewildered "Are we talking about the same person here Heeseung is not an idol!"

"He is." The man responded simply "I suggest you search up Enhypen and watch that little hard drive I gave you. Now that's all, I'll be going now." The man walked out without another word. Leaving Y/n in a puddle of confusion. She hurriedly made her way to the computer connected to the register.

She opened google typing in "Enhypen" Her gasped was heard all around the small shop as the results popped up onto the screen. Sure enough there Heeseung with six other boys. Enhypen. Heeseung was a famous idol. He had lied to her.

With shaky hands Y/n plugged the hard drive in opening the file as quickly as she could. A video popped up, you could tell the camera had been hidden. The video focused on a group of boys and the man that had just been here. Heeseung sat down his head in his hands as the man questioned him of his whereabouts for the night.

Heeseung tried making his way around the question, trying to lie but it seemed that it wasn't working. The man questioned who the girl was in the piece of paper he was pointing at. A picture Y/n all but assumed was of her. All of this information was shocking, but nothing could have prepared for what was said next.

"She's a random girl I go and see every once in a while ok? She means nothing to me, she doesn't know who I am so I use her to feel normal. it's like a game, a hobby that's it." Heeseung had said in response. Y/n felt her heart contract then shatter in her chest.

Did he call her a....game? A hobby? Y/n was disgusted, she hadn't realized she was crying until she felt the small droplets land onto her shirt.

Lee Heeseung was a liar, a manipulator. He had shattered her heart in a fraction of a second. She was so stupid to believe his lies, to fall for him.

She was so so stupid.

---

Heeseung hadn't heard from Y/n in days. He also hadn't made the walk to the bookstore In the same amount of time. She wasn't answering any of her calls or text messages, Heeseung was starting to get worried. He hadn't figured out how to get to bound without being noticed by the staff and manager. They were watching Heeseung like a hawk.

He had to see her. The risk was starting not to matter him. He added to see y/n make sure she was ok, damn the consequences he had to see her in the flesh.

That's how he found himself outside of bound getting ready to open the door to the shop. For some odd reason his stomach was in absolute knots, something felt wrong. He wrapped his hand around the door knob and pulled.. but it didn't open. Was the store closed? He looked into the window of bound to see it completely empty inside the lights turned off.

Heeseung pulled his phone out sending y/n a quick message asking her if everything was ok and why the store was closed.

No response.

Heeseung made his way back to the dorm completely confused on why y/n hadn't been answering her phone and why the store could be closed for.

Heeseung returned to Bound everyday for six more days after that. Each day the store was locked and closed no person in sight. Finally on the seventh day Heeseung pulled the door to find it unlocked.

Y/n sat on the floor of the store clearing shelves readying herself to put new books on to them. Her hair was in two French braids, blue overalls adored her small frame. Heeseung let out a small at the sight of her. She was so beautiful even doing the most simple of things.

"You're alive" Heeseung teased from behind her. His teasing fell upon deaf ears as she completely ignored him continuing to add books to the shelf in front of her.

"Hey.." Heeseung trailed off lightly grabbing her shoulder to turn her around. Y/n filched, throwing herself back and away from Heeseung's grip. "Don't touch me!" She said angrily.

"Wha-" Heeseung started to say his confusion taking over. Why was she acting like this? He had never seen her so cold. "Get out" She spit out angrily looking at Heeseung with a hatred he didn't think was possible for her.

"wait y/n hold on what's going on?"

"Don't you have music to make? Tours to go on? Huh? Lee Heeseung of Enhypen?!" Her words were like poison to his heart, a single lethal dose rendering him completely still. She knew? How did she know? Of fuck, this was bad. Very bad.

"Let me explain-" Once again Heeseung was cut off by y/n's icy comeback "No. Get out. find a new hobby"

Hobby? She called herself a hobby... The realization suddenly hit Heeseung like a tidal wave. She knew what he had said, she found out in some way what he had said about her at the dorm that day.

"We need to talk, Y/n let me explain please" The boy begged following behind Y/n as she walked towards the door of the bookstore. She yanked the door open. The frost from the cold temperatures rushing in was no match for the pure icy panic that soured through Heeseung's veins at this very moment.

"Get out. I never want to see you again Lee Heeseung" She turned to look away from him, a single tear falling down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away refusing to let him see her in this vulnerable of a state.

"I'll be back" Heeseung said walking out the door, he turned to face the door once again readying himself to beg for forgiveness once again. He wasn't quick enough as he was met with the slam of the door and the daunting sound of of the lock being turned.

---

Heeseung hadn't left his room in days feening sickness. He knew he couldn't go on much longer like this, he had obligations with Enhypen. Soon enough he knew the other members were going to start questioning him. He was beginning to not care though. His manager had somehow found y/n informing her of who Heeseung really was and what horrible things he had said out of pure frustration and determination to get the label off his back. He didn't mean any of it. He just didn't know how to convince y/n of that. She officially hated him and he deserved it.

He had lied to her, about who he was even after she had given a piece of herself to him when she told him about her family. Heeseung felt like scum, he felt undeserving of y/n. She was too pure, too good and he just wasn't. He was man who had it all and wanted none of it.

A knock at his door has Heeseung looking up from under his blankets. "Hey man, how are you feeling?" Jake said entering his room with a cold water bottle in his hand.

"ok" Heeseung said weakly not looking Jake in the eyes.

"You're not sick are you?" Jake observed sitting down next to the heaping pile of blankets that was Heeseung.

"No" Heeseung admitted, sitting himself on his. "what happened when you left to the bookstore the other day?" Jake wasn't dumb he knew that was where Heeseung was going. He just wasn't expecting Heeseung to come home a complete shell of himself.

"Y/n knows what I said about her that night when Manager was questioning me about her. He must have told her." Heeseung looked down at his hands a ball of emotions wadded itself up in his chest.

"I messed up so bad Jake" Heeseung mumbled "I think i've lost her for good"

"You don't just like her" Jake said matter a-factly. Heeseung shook his head finally looking Jake in the eye. "I love her" He confessed, his welling up in tears. "I love her and I lost her because I'm an idiot who lets my management run my life"

"So don't let them" Jake said "Don't let them run your life. Go there and tell her how much you love her"

"She hates me Jake, she won't hear me out"

"Make her. Make it hard for her to refuse you. If you love her this much I can only imagine how much she must love you. That's not something you should give up so easily man. Especially with how many non genuine people we encounter all the time."

Heeseung found himself nodding along to what Jake was saying. He shouldn't give up, not that easily, not that quick. He was going to head over to bound and get to hear him out no matter how long it took.

That's how Heeseung found himself outside of bound once again, this time the knot in his stomach had grown tenfold. He could very walk in here and get pushed out again, and that would destroy him. He added y/n to hear him. She was the one thing in his life that made him feel human. He didn't feel like a robot when he was around her, his life didn't feel void, he lived when he was near her.

He grabbed the door knob and opened the door to the store. The sound of the piano playing rang around the empty shop. Y/n sat at the piano, on the same bench they've sat at so many times before playing the same piano they've played time and time again.

"Please don't kick me out" Heeseung had said in a rush. Y/n jumped turning around with narrowed eyes. "Heeseung you need to g-"

"No." Heeseung said simply. Shock spread over the girls face. "No?" she asked "Did you just say no?"

"I did" Heeseung said simply. "I need you to hear me out. If you still want me to leave afterwards then I will, I'll leave and I'll never come back. Just please" Heeseung said with a sense of desperation "Please let me talk"

"you have five minutes" Y/n stated, still sitting very still on the bench. Heeseung took a second to formulate his thoughts. He didn't think he could get this far in all seriousness. He was expecting to be kicked out right away again.

"Time is ticking" Y/n said rolling her eyes. Heeseung knew it was the entirely wrong to think it but she sure did look adorable when she was annoyed.

"I love you." He said "shit I mean- no like okay." Heeseung stuttered out, his cheeks turning dark pink as he stupidly rambled.

"I do love you, I just- god I'm messing this up." Heeseung sat down next to y/n on the bench. He made sure to leave a space between them so that she didn't feel uncomfortable.

"My name is Lee Heeseung and I'm one of the seven members of a famous k pop group called Enhypen" Heeseung said in earnest. "I didn't tell you when I first met you because I was so relieved that you didn't know. and I know that's not excuse but when I ran in here, I was running from a group of fans that's were following me. you not knowing who I was, was such a relief I couldn't tell you."

"I could have told you after that day, when I kept coming back but the truth is I was scared. For months now I have been feeling nothing but normal. I am so sick of people who trying to know because of what I do and not because they actually want to know me. I was fearful that you would look at me completely different if you found out who I was." Heeseung took a big breath in before he continued.

"As for calling you a hobby, I'm sorry. I panicked. The managers and staff cornered me that night demanding I tell them who you were and what I was doing with you so just blurted out the first bullshit I could think of to get them off my back. I didn't mean any of it. I'm serious when I say I love you y/n, and I'm sorry for lying to you but I promise from this moment forward I'm done lying."

Heeseung watched y/n's face looking for any indication of what she was feeling but he found none at all. She was incredibly hard to read.

"The five minutes are up" She said after a minute of silence. Heeseungs head fell low the only thing he could do was nod. He rose from his seat on the bench making his way to the door.

"Lee Heeseung of Enhypen." Y/n called to him silently. Heeseung turned to look at her.

"I didn't say for you to leave" She smiled a slight tilt to her head. Heeseung's look of confusion must have amused her because she let out of the loudest laugh Heeseung thinks he has ever heard from her.

"I love you too Lee Heeseung of Enhypen"

"You can stop calling me that" Heeseung said walking up to Y/n circling his arms around her waist pulling her closer to him.

"But its fun, plus you love me.. you have to deal with it"

"Yeah" Heeseung sighed heavily "I do love you."

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ynsvnte · 4 months ago

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The dance of the ballet ! — Park Sunghoon

pairing: ballerino!hoon x ballerina!reader

genre: friends to lovers, smut (18+ MDNI), fluff, one shot

word count: 2.4k

warnings: kissing, swearing, blowjob, handjob, boob-sucking, pet names, piv, unprotected sex, degrading, cunnilingus, creampie. a bit of aftercare

Synopsis: with a show coming up soon. You and your partner decide to take one day and practice alone together. A bit of teasing goes along the way, causing more than practice to happen.

Quick note: apologies if there are mistakes as I have no idea how ballet works (I know very little about it) and tried doing some research on this before writing — also not proofread umm bc it’s 5 am and I wrote for an hour just to finish this.

Masterlist

Upon arrival, you can already hear the music.. Swan lake.. of course everyone knew this. You set your bag down and watch as your partner.. dances by himself.. admiring him.. as it goes silent the next moment.. you cough slightly, catching the male’s attention.

“Oh hey..” Sunghoon says while heavily breathing.

“Hey.. ready for practice?” You asked hoping to ease the awkwardness surrounding the both of you. “I guess so..” It’s that you and Sunghoon are practicing alone. Usually you would only practice with the whole group but not today. You take a sip before changing your shoes to pointe shoes. You prepare your feet before slipping on your toe pad, and sliding your feet into the shoe. You adjusted yourself before walking up to Sunghoon who seems to be warming up. “There we can start..”

He just nodded his head before starting the music. As soon as you hear the first instrument.. you become slightly nervous.. you try not to pay attention to the male right next to you. You didn’t know what it was but you felt some kind of attraction towards him. Not that you told anyone yet about your feelings for your partner.

You wait off on the side as the infamous “Swan lake 1. SCENE” plays.. you watch as you wait for the next song to be over so you can start your part. Just like magic.. the next song plays, Sunghoon continues to dance as you watch.. You prepare yourself as you finally start.. Sunghoon is far away, watching you.. Your part is towards the end so you only have a short moment.. and as you stand there the next song starts.. you begin dancing again.. points shoes.. holding you up.. as you twirl.. then Sunghoon begins.. as he “chases” you in the dance.. then he finally catches up to you.. grabbing you arm and turning around.. you both make eye contact. And as everything seems to go fast you separate yourself apart and soon it’s Sunghoon “protecting” you from Rothbart.. in usual rehearsal.. everyone would be here but because it’s a private rehearsal it’s only you two..

Then the third song finished. You breathe for air.. and fall flat on your feet.. you could feel the pain slowly coming.. as Sunghoon pauses.. you take a seat on the floor exhausted from dancing non-stop for 5 minutes.. feet in pain.. you lie down before closing your eyes.. but once you open your eyes Sunghoon is above you staring at you..

“Need something..?” You asked him. He shakes his head before lying down right next to you on the floor.. “Exhausted..?” He asked, looking at the lights. “Hell yeah my feet fucking hurt from standing in point for minutes straight..” you could feel his eyes on you. You tried to ignore it before.. turning your head to the side.. making eye contact. You look into his eyes.. his eyes are on something. Your lips.. “Is something on my lips..?” Sunghoon's face looks surprised.. “N-no nothing..” he sighs before getting up and walking away.. Great way to ruin the mood. But his gaze looked like he wanted to do something.. maybe even kiss you.

You shake your thoughts off and sit right back up. The silence between you two gets louder if even possible. You stare at yourself in the mirror. Slowly gaining back your energy. You could see Sunghoon from the mirror seemingly drinking some water but you focus your gaze back onto yourself.

“What if we never got our roles..?” You asked out of the blue. “What do you by that?” Sunghoon looks at you. You turn your head to face him. “What if we never got our parts we have now we both wouldn’t be here.” You kept a blank face. Giving Sunghoon a hard time to figure out your true intentions on the question. “And what makes you ask that?” You keep quiet for a bit before answering. “Nothing, just wondering. Like what if someone else got your part with me.. or the other way around. Or maybe we both didn’t get the parts.” You rambled on. Sunghoon could only help smile a bit. “You’re so cute.” Sunghoon doesn’t realize he said only after your reaction. Your eyes widen as your voice slowly fades out. You feel yourself sweating. “What did you say..”

“I-nothing..” It’s too late, regardless. “You said I’m cute..” you point at him then yourself. “Is there something you’re hiding, hmm..?” You look at him in an amused expression. Sunghoon Can feel the tip of his ears slowly becoming warmer, probably even a bit red. “Why would I be hiding something.. that would be weird.” He states, defending himself for your accusation. “Sure like anyone would believe you, now tell me.” Of course he couldn’t hide anything for shit. “I did say you’re cute but it was by accident, it just came out of nowhere.. I’m not denying you aren’t cute or anything I just-“ Sunghoon sighs giving up on explaining himself.

You could help but laugh.. “and what if I said the same thing about you.” You stare into his eyes, expression turning into a slight confident one. His own eyes widened, surprised. “Me..?” He was too stunned. Frozen in place. Your smirk widens as you stand up and walk towards him. “Correct..” You could tell you made him extremely nervous and shy. “Why..? Do you like it.?” You teased him. “I-what no why would I..I like it.” He rambled, making you believe the opposite. “Sure like I would believe you. Now tell me the truth. Do you like being called cute?” Sunghoon stared right into your eyes. Noticing the glint of lust in them. “And what if I say yes?” Was he now trying to annoy you or what? “I don’t know.. say it and you’ll find out.” You won’t give up. You really want him to say yes, but you don't know him that well to really know what answer you'll end up receiving.

Sunghoon's heart beats quicker than before. The look you’re giving him causes something in him to quite enjoy it. But he had an ego of course. Not wanting that and his pride to get damaged at all. But he rather shocks himself once the words leave his mouth.

“Yes..” Oh he wished he could take it back but it was a little too late for that. He watched you as you slightly laughed before smirking.. you approached him closing the space left between you two. Bodies against bodies. You look right up at him. The move takes him aback. Lips against each other as you start kissing him. Sunghoon couldn’t help but kiss you back enjoying the feeling of your lips on his. A perfect fit. He thought. He tries to bring you closer. Arms wrapping around your waist as your arms begin to go around his neck.

Lips sloppily moving against each other. You get pressed back onto the wall as you both continue making out. You shiver as his hands start to make way down your thigh, fingertips grazing against your inner thighs. You open your eyes, staring at him before he pulls away from your lips feeling your eyes on him.

“What’s the staring for, hmm?” He places an arm above your head onto the wall, caging you in. You get flustered.. His other arm is now on your hip. Softly pinching it a bit. “Nothing.. Just couldn’t help it” You state, eyes on each other. Your heart starts to fasten, being this close to Sunghoon was not on today’s plan. “Is that so? Or is there something more that I just don’t know..” Sunghoon could feel there’s more to it..

Smirking while staring right down at you, admiring you. “What if.. I wanna fuck you” You pull him down by his neck bring your lips to the shell of his ear, whispering. Sunghoon pauses a bit, a little taken aback at your statement. “Like right now?” he says in disbelief, but not also hating the idea of fucking. “Of course right now..” You whined, hand resting on his growing bulge. You give it a light squeeze causing him to lean his head back, groaning. “Fuck the things you do to me.” his voice turned raspy. “Are sure..?” He asked you, making sure you don’t feel uncomfortable. “When it comes to you.. I’m always sure..” you tease him a bit.

Sunghoon could only scoff before kissing you again. At this point you forgot the whole point of being here. Your hands slowly start making their way under Sunghoon’s shirt. Sunghoon pulls away before pulling off his shirt. Seeing him shirtless for the first time, you could only smile. He seemed to rush you a bit, pulling you closer to him embracing you in his arms. He pulls your shirt off you, leaving you in your bra. His hands unclasp your bra. As your bra falls to the ground, He cups both of your breasts, before lightly sucking on one. You leaned your head back in pleasure. “Heh-eager?” You looked down at him, getting more wet by each second passing by. Sunghoon only nodded his head, too busy to respond.

“Who knew princess had cute boobs hmm..?” He smirks at you. Enjoying your reaction. “Oh shut up.” You glared at him. Sunghoon drags you to the floor, back against the wall, and you straddle him. Feeling his rock hard cock pressing up against your clothed cunt.

“Excited much..” you murmur, your hands grip the band of his sweatpants, he lifts himself up a bit helping you pull them down. You throw his sweatpants somewhere else in the room, admiring the view right in front of you. You rubbed your palm over his covered cock. Placing kisses on his neck. “What do you want me to do?” You whispered in his ear. “You know..” he quietly responded. “What I am supposed to know?” Sunghoon glares at you before holding you in place.

“Knowing how much I want you.” He says, patience clearly running out. “Yeah pretty obvious” you scoff, making your way back in front of him. You slightly pull down his boxers, cock jumping out, pre-cum leaks from the tip. Slight veins decorate the surface. You smile before looking right back at him. Eyes meeting, you keep your eyes locked as you open your mouth bringing his cock closer and closer. Finally once his tip touches your tongue, he hissed, enjoying the feeling of your tongue alone.

You take more of him in your mouth, moaning softly to get him worked up. Few more seconds and you fully have him in your mouth, gagging a bit. Sunghoon only moaned loudly. “Shit you feel so good. Such a little slut huh?” He stares you down. You moan around him. You back away. Cock now covered in saliva, you start lightly sucking on his balls, while stroking his cock, hand wrapped around his base. Sunghoon reaches out, his hand covering over yours. Helping you out with his length. The sounds of his moans bounce off the wall. Both of you are lucky to not have any cameras in this practice room. You stop sucking before licking strokes of his base, getting him closer to the edge. His fastens the pace of your hands. On the spot he begins coming.. letting some fall onto the floor, both of your hands covered in his release.

He removes his hand over yours, forces his cum-covered fingers into your mouth. “Suck. C’mon now sweetheart.” You obey him and begin to lick his fingers clean. He pulls his fingers out of your mouth grabbing your hands and making you suck your own. After that he forces you onto the floor on your back. Cold floor hitting your bare back, making you shiver. Sunghoon quickly undoes your beaten pointe shoes, getting them out of the way and pulls down your leg warmers.

“Damn why so much clothing?” You only laugh at his comment. “Gotta kept myself from feeling any pain.” He finally removes your leggings. Exposing your soaked underwear. “Excited much” Sunghoon says, mocking you from earlier. He spreads your legs, placing kisses on your inner thighs. He kisses your covered core. He licks you from your underwear.. you let out a sigh, enjoying the feeling of him tasting you. He pulls down your underwear and hurriedly begins to eat you out. Slurping your juices, he moans burying himself into your cunt. “Hah-more..” your toes curl as the feeling of pleasure.

Sunghoon gives your clit one more kiss. “Hey what are you doing?” You glared at him, confused why you didn’t finish off. “You think you’ll be coming on my mouth. Sweetheart. The only thing you’ll be coming on is this cock.” He says in a deep voice turning you more on. He pushes inside you. Welcomed with the tight, warm feeling of your cunt squeezing him. “So tight, just for me.” He starts off slowly, letting you adjust. “You can go faster..” you say quietly. Sunghoon hears you, increasing his pace immediately. You close your eyes. Taking in the feeling. Few more minutes of getting pounded down pass by. “Holy shit- close sweetheart.. hmm how about we come together.. wouldn’t you like that.” You nodded your head. Taking one hand starts to rub your clit. Hoping to hurry up. Sunghoon goes even faster chasing his own high.

At last he comes inside of you, triggering your own orgasm. You moan out loud only to be quiet down by Sunghoon kissing you. As you shake a bit from your own orgasm. Sunghoon kisses your cheek. “Shh, quiet down a bit sweetheart.. we’re not the only ones here remember.” Oh right. Sunghoon pulls out before dressing up. He grabs a tissue from his own bag. Cleaning you up. He hands you your clothes helping you dress up.

After cleaning up. You put on your boots. Only to feel a pair of arms around your waist. “I’ll take you home sweetheart..” he kisses your cheek, you giggle. “So what are we?” you say pulling away, and picking up your bag from the floor. You both exit the practice room. Hand in hand. “What do you mean ‘what are we?’ Yn we’re boyfriend and girlfriend now” he pouts.

“Hm? I don’t recall. You never gave me a heads up” you say holding back your laughter. “Okay fine. As you exit the building he stops and grabs both of your hands.

“Yn do I have the honors to be your boyfriend?” He asks, blushing. You smile, kissing his nose. “Of course..” Sunghoon smiled widely, grabbing your arm and dragging you to his car. “I think I’ll take you home with me now, girlfriend.”

Author’s note: LONGEST FIC I WROTE IMAGINE ME WRITING A LONGER ONESHOT BYEEEE ! Do I hate it? Yes the smut part but the ending giving my brain a good smooch. Me and hoon in other universe mate.

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onlyjjong · 1 month ago

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엔하이픈 --- A 3-POINTER TO MY HEART (2)

　　이희승 　x　 fem!reader 　　┊　　for my sunshine, danie <3 　　┊ 　　part one

GENERE　┊ 　!smau , !nonidol , !fluff , !hints of angst , !college , !friends to lovers , !basketball captain heeseung , !basketball team manager reader

NOTE DI ENTRATA　 ┊　 in which y/n realises that heeseung, the captain of the college basketball team she's managing𑁋who also happens to be her old crush back from freshman year, cares for her more than she thinks he does.

DISCLAIMER 　┊ 　depictions may be inaccurate , contains swear words, y/n is myung jaehyun's older sister

⟡ 📩 𑁋 TAGGING : @a-dream-bookmark , @enchive , @en-log , @/k-labels

― © onlyjjong, 2024.

⟡ 📬 𑁋 𝓛𝐈𝐋𝐈's PERMANENT TAGLIST! (OPEN) : send an ask to be added! @flwrstqr , @floweryang , @junislqve , @mimiuius, @en-gelic , @tzyunaes

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psblooms · 4 months ago

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how can my day be bad when I’m with you?

‧₊˚♡𓂃 enhypen hyung line x fem reader fluff works word count: 792 comfort in a bad day from them to you, established relationship, non-idol au contains: skinship, kissing, petnames, the couple lives together

after a long day at work heeseung ๋࣭ ࣪𓍼 would come home and immediately sense something was off, most of the days when you arrived first you’d wait for him in the living room after changing your clothes. so seeing you in your pajamas with your headphones on, laying on the bed, and showing him your back threw him off. while you did tend to shut down when you felt under the weather, it had been a long time since it happened.

he´d be quick to keep you company because as much as he knew you he knew this meant you did not want to talk yet. he´ll join you on the bed and cuddle you. no words were needed, he would still be in his work clothes and he knew that there would be a conversation later but he did not care. he wanted you to know that he was there with you physically present and ready to hear about your day. so you will spend a good amount of time in silence just feeling each other's warmth, and holding each other in the dusk of the day.

"we can talk whenever you're ready love, I'm not leaving."

your relationship with jongseong ๋࣭ ࣪𓍼 was a really simple/domestic one, with not a lot of emotional ups and downs or disagreements, it was a calm relationship at the end of the day and perfect for the both of you, however, it did take you both a long time to learn not to bottle everything up, it was a common agreement that the communication was something you needed to get better at.

therefore you were well aware - and it was easy to find solace in the fact - that, whenever you had a hard day at work or at life in general you could just talk to him at the end of the day to air out all your unconformities and your partner will be willing to listen to you with a warm beverage in the living room floor. you liked to think that you could hate on life together and find the little good things in it: like you two, together in a warm atmosphere of pure comfort in each other's company even if the world outside was tearing each other down.

"thanks for telling me honey, I'm always here to listen to your worries."

jaeyun ๋࣭ ࣪𓍼 loves seeing you and being close to you, he loves having your attention and sharing everything with you, you always had an easy time matching each other's energy. so whenever you had a bad day when your heart felt heavy and your insides felt empty jake knew you were going through it just by seeing your eyes, he was quick-witted and knew exactly what to do.

he would drag you to bed after a long tiring day and lay you down, he is your emotional support person and you would not need a weighted blanket in his presence, he´d lay on top of you not fully suffocating you but with enough weight to calm the empty feeling you have. depending on your mood he would try to get you to talk with him, even if it's not about what made you upset, he just wants you to spend as little time as possible with those feelings so he´ll try giving you little soft kisses throughout your face constantly reassuring you he is there to listen to you.

"you did great today babe, want to tell me what's on your mind?"

dating sunghoon ๋࣭ ࣪𓍼 and being good partners was a learning curve, his personality and yours took a long time to adapt to a long-term relationship; neither of you were the most touchy and emotionally available at the beginning of the relationship, this improved with time, healthy boundaries were applied and you became more comfortable with each other. you still relied heavily on alone time and waiting to cool down on stuff that bothered you before telling the other person.

however, sometimes life felt so heavy on you that the only thing you needed was the feeling of sharing the same air and space as him. going into the living room where the only noise was coming from his phone you made a nervous beeline to him and laid yourself next to him burying your head in his neck inhaling his scent and looking for relief after a stressful day. the fact that he felt your rapid heartbeat and your shaky breathing made him hold you close in to him avoiding his shock and soothing you with gentle pads on your back giving you his full attention.

"it's okay darling, I'm right here, we can wait until you want to talk, no pressure."

#𝜗℘ the little library ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ #en-log #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x reader #lee heeseung #park jongseong #sim jaeyun #park sunghoon #heeseung #enhypen jay #enhypen jake #sunghoon

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hoony2k · 2 months ago

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Is jake here?

Shakespeare says "tis was written in the stars before they even met"

-You're lost in life and move to Seoul where you find your peace in a boy. Jake's in a band and is looking for a girl he's been obsessed with ever since she appeared in his dream. You're both broken but maybe you can learn to be better through each other.

Pairing: Sim Jaeyun x reader

Genre: scott pilgrim au!, band au!, set in 2000s, he's kinda silly.

Cast: Sunghoon, jay, sumin (stayc)

Warning: reader smokes once :(

Word Count: 2k

Notes: this is for neo127's event! this was genuinely so fun to write, thank you for the fun event! this is actually a deleted scene that I love sm, i wanted to be so poetic but i had to stop my demons cause this is a movie with tom foolery and deep meaning. also i'm kind of stupid and saved this in drafts and not queue.

masterlist

Take 1

There was a ringing in Jake’s mind that alerted him of the dangers awaiting him, but the allure of your presence removed all prior warnings. You came into his life like a dream, filled the hollow void in his soul. None of his past attempts at experiencing euphoria or reaching infinity worked, but with you around entertaining his unfunny jokes, he was consumed by the black hole in one clean swoop.

In other terms, you were the little riff he needed in the song, the extra healing ability granted to his game characters, you were a dream. The warning, the future and the rest was history. It was only you and him in the whole universe. By your side, Jake finally felt like the world wasn’t against him.

Or so he thought.

Seven little exes, not seven little kisses.

Take 2

Jake forced his body to move. “Left right, left right”, he mumbled and mechanically trudged up the stairs, bumping into drunk partygoers without an apology. He caught a glimpse of you the other day and he prayed the next time you saw him he’d be taller and looked way cooler, not desperate or down bad at all. Hopefully, he’d find the courage to approach you in privacy. It had been ages of simply dreaming about you.

Not even the buzz of the party could get your eyes and nonchalant expression out of Jake’s mind. The thirst to reunite left him dry to the bone and in dire need of the washroom due to pure boredom sparked by the party. His drink sploshed in the red up, spilt over the rim and onto the cuff of his new jacket. He winced at the sticky and cold sensation.

At this point, he was willing to manifest you into appearing.

Jake reached the landing and felt Comeau call out to him. “Wanna drink with us?”

He shook his head and slightly pouted. “No, I don’t drink”.

Comeau frowned at him, “What do you mean you don’t drink?”

Jake offered a non-committed shrug and lightly waved his arm around.

“This is just iced coffee”.

His friend’s frown deepened. “What does that mean? I distinctively remember you being drunk-”

“Hey you know everyone, right?”, Jake swiftly brushed off the memory and swayed Comeau by the compliment. “You know this one girl with hair like this?”

His pout was replaced with a determined look and pulled out crumpled paper with a poorly sketched one-lined drawing of what appeared to be a face with no evident features or expressions. There was no possible way to understand the scribble immediately.

His friend rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I know her. That’s Y/N-“

God was real. The universe loved him and perhaps this was good karma for all the okay things he had done in life. His friend continued to ramble trivia about you but it all flew over Jake’s head until he heard I heard she was going to be here tonight and it brought heat back into his veins. All it took were those mere words to become the catalyst of his insanity.

Jake dove into the crowd, and took in the sight of numerous strangers with unfamiliar hairstyles and smiles. He searched for your dyed hair in the crowd and despite unsteady breathing and shaking hands due to anticipation and nervousness, his gaze met your frame leaning on a wall. Hair pink instead of blue and you were alone holding a cup which served as a friend. You appeared bored out of your mind, glancing at the drunk bodies dancing around in bliss. Jake wondered asking you if you wanted a refill.

He slid on the dirty wallpapered wall and inch close to you. As he felt heat radiate off your body, he took it as a sign to halt. Though he tried to be subtle, his desperation to talk to you poured down his body in a giant tidal wave. Jake turned his honey eyes to your figure, it was party concealed under his locks that covered an eye. You stared right at him.

“Do you like pac man?”, the words stumbled out of his lips before he realised.

What? No-no, that’s not-

You gave him a slight nod then shifted your attention back to the crowd. Uncommitted but it did not discourage him.

He shuffled closer to you; the creases of his oversized jacket bumped into the bag strap on your shoulder. You didn't move away.

Jake cheered internally; this was going well.

Jake took it as a sign to continue. He puffed his chest out. “You know the original name for Pac-Man was Puck-Man. Not because he looks like a hockey puck. But it's Paku Paku. Means flap your mouth."

He planned on offering you a detailed history of the game, a topic that the pair of you apparently shared and enjoyed. That was before you placed your full untouched cup on a table and turned to him.

He hadn't realised you moved to look up at him.

"But they thought people would scratch out the "p" and turn it into an "f" like-"

Jake's voice died in his throat and his eyes blinked at the intensity of your gaze. You stared up at him with calm wisdom, hiding all the secrets in the world in your gaze.

He observed how there was a thin sheen of sweat on your hairline despite the cold season of decay. With so many bodies running, dancing and chatting away, the house was bound to get humid.

Jake could barely hear your voice over the thump thump of his heartbeat. The tips of your hair that clung onto the apples of your cheek moved when you spoke.

You took a step closer to him and whatever confidence he had evaporated. Jake fumbled with the end of his jacket and then promptly shoved his hands inside his pockets.

You did not look displeased at the sight, in fact, nothing changed in your eyes but Jake swore he saw a hint of a small smile. However, his fear and nerves got the best of him.

"I'm going to leave you alone forever now-"

"Wanna get out of here?"

Take 3

The sky was dark again. The winter nights crept up quickly, shunning the sun away but Jake liked it.

He liked how the night sky reminded him of you, the simple serene moments spent either in silence or secrecy.

You brought light into his life. It was dark elsewhere.

He saw a shadow of a figure dressed in several jackets a couple of feet away and only when he walked closer did he realise who it was.

"What are you doing here?", he called out to you, referring to the time.

You quirked up an unamused brow.

"Dude, I was waiting for you."

Immediately Jake felt apologetic. And maybe a bit pathetic that he came late (on time) to the hangout (unofficial official date). Or maybe he felt giddy knowing you didn't show your nervous attitude yet cared deeply enough for him to arrive on time.

"I'm sorry. I thought you assumed you were too cool to arrive on time", he confessed. It was easier with you.

He didn't have to lie about where he went like how he did whenever Sunghoon asked him about his whereabouts or skirt around in conversations where Sumin decided to target him (all for reasons that proved he deserved it).

He didn't need to pretend he was someone better, a moralistic ideal version of himself or someone worse, an edgy rockstar who had a strange code of rules to live by.

With you, Jake could be transparent. All his unpolished edges, raw mistakes and life missteps were seen and never judged.

You were like him and he was like you.

Maybe there was a reason he saw you in his dreams long before. Maybe the two of you were interconnected in a cosmic way. He didn't know.

You looked at him up and down before turning and beginning to walk near the middle of the park.

"Well, you were wrong".

Jake quickly walked beside you and fell into the same rhythm. "Do you wanna get a bite? Or watch a movie? We could get pizza before watching something. We could flip through the records I have at home".

You gently shook your head and Jake couldn't help but pout at your dismissal.

"What's wrong?" He asked, too impatient.

You sighed softly; air comes out in puffs of smoke.

You point at nearby empty swings. The chain was rustic and seems strong enough to carry two adults.

"Follow me", you whispered in the late night. There was no one around. The park was deserted, filled with snow to the brim. The swing seats squeaked when you brushed off the sleeping snow from them.

Jake sniffled, shoved his hands in his pockets once more. He didn't mind the silence until it stretched on for more than a minute, maybe...maybe it was less but Jake hated silence.

"This is nice", he shuffled and lightly kicked his feet off the ground. The metal shrieked and he swayed back and forth.

You nodded and mimicked his actions.

"This is nice".

Jake turned to look at you once more. He noticed how often he'd stare at you only to look away when you caught his gaze. There was something that had been on his mind for days. He tip toed towards the topic.

"So, why'd you come to Seoul?"

Immediately you look down at your shoes, then swing yourself higher than before.

"I wanted a change of scenery. Needed a reset and got a job here so I thought, why not?"

It was an honest reply.

The sound of gravel grabbed his attention, the metal squeaked again and you paused the pendulum to fish out an item from your pocket.

He had to squint in the minimal lighting and Jake had to hold in his surprise as you pulled out a cigarette and lit it easily.

A hand covered your lips and the tip of the cigarette, the small flame decorated the end of your nose and chin in a scarlet hue. Jake stared at you in awe, doe eyes widened.

"You smoke?", he couldn't help it. You did wonders at surprising him each time you met.

You inhaled it slowly and turned from Jake's direction to blow the air. Two fingers toyed with the cigarette.

"On special occasions". Your lips stretched a bit and Jake saw how the gloss shone under the moonlight. God, he was doomed from the start.

He didn't mind the bounce in his voice, he tiled his position and brought his swing next to yours until the metal chains halted him. The scent of slight smoke and your citrus perfume filled his senses.

It felt like he was on stage once more, guitar in his hands, flicking away at the strings with inhuman speed. He felt the high he experienced on stage; the surge of emotions that made him giddy. He tapped his foot unconsciously, imitating the vibrations the band would feel when Sumin hit her drums.

"Is this a special occasion?"

Your eyes hadn't stranded him and his lovesick expression finally pulled a laugh out of you. You were satisfied when you moved to Seoul, but the buds in your stomach began to blossom, Jake made you crave for more than satisfactory.

"I don't know. You tell me", you teased him and Jake's smile got wider. His eyes crinkled adorably and you could see the gums of his teeth with how wide he was smiling.

Then, for a split second, something flashed in his eyes, something serious. It paused your arm mid-way from bringing the cigarette to your lips.

Jake averted his gaze, his dark brown bangs covered his face from view, and you could only see the tip of his tall nose and his red ears. Perhaps from the cold, perhaps from you.

He took a deep breath.

"When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time."

When he finished, Jake turned to you and the poor swing squeaked once more. His face was determined, shoulders no longer hunched like usual but his eyes wavered, swam across your form to see a hint of disgust or discomfort from you.

You laughed in his face.

"Hey!", Jake shouted and it echoed in the night.

Loud laughter bubbled from your lips, you tried to hide your mouth behind your free hand but Jake quickly grabbed it so he could defend himself. Seeing how delighted you were, your entire body buzzing with giggles, Jake felt himself relax and giggle with you. Though he didn't let go of your arm.

He saw the fallen cigarette on the ground, you probably forgot about it when you began to chuckle. He leaned forward and stepped on it.

When he landed his attention on you, you were more composed but the shaking did not stop. It was a futile attempt at covering your glee, Jake was obsessed, he was probably feeling the L-word (love) as well but he wasn't sure.

Though he understood from all the times he couldn't concentrate in practice and Sunghoon or Jay would have to call his name loudly to pull him out of daydreams of you and back to reality, when Sumin stopped questioning his intentions with you and replaced her usual indifferent glares with mild fascination, Jake knew he felt something more than like for you. He felt like he was hypnotised by your melody, your casual demeanour, overflowing confidence and assured attitude. It sucked him in from the night he dreamt of you.

Jake's hand slithered down from the curve of your elbow and slipped into the warmth of your hand. Your laughter had finally ceased, now replaced with a tender look. Jake smiled like he had never done before. You interlocked your fingers together and squeezed him palm.

It would be okay, the future would be more than okay-probably. He'd still have to go to practice, get yelled at by his sister and then get yelled at other bands when Sunghoon irked them on purpose. Maybe he'd have to eventually confront your seven exes. Nothing about you was simple, everything was too intricate, it was like he had entered a game and had to win all rounds before getting crowned "official boyfriend".

But it was more than okay because Jake knew you were worth it-you liked him and he liked you. There were no mind games, this was the simplest love he had experienced. He couldn’t stop thinking of you and you couldn’t stop ringing his landline. By your side, Jake concluded that even if he wasn’t the strongest, he’d figure out a way and fight the world for you.

Thank you for reading. Please do not edit/translate

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