#emptyzone

[pizzatrocious]

LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!

As usual, the audience waited in the dark studio silently... waited for their host, waited for themselves, waited for their god. The drumroll you were all more than used to by now began, feeling more like an ill omen than something of excitement. The deep red curtains lifted, and a single spotlight flicked on.

The little bastard himself was already there, striking a pose...

Then, another...

Then, one more, for good measure!

"HELLOOOOOOOOOO, LADIES AND WHELPS!!! I'M YOUR HOST, THE NOISE, AND WELCOME TO TODAY'S EPISODE OF—"

The title card flashed on-screen.

"—NOISY COOKING!"

The lights flicked on as the empty crowd went wild, revealing a kitchen not unlike that of Peppino's Pizzeria! Though similar in appearance however, the kitchen appeared spotless, the appliances brand new. In front of the Noise sat a cutting board, a set of heating elements, and an arrangement of kitchen knives and utensils. Fresh produce lay neatly across the table, accompanied by a good handful of other main ingredients, herbs, and spices.

From beyond the kitchen set, multiple large shadows lurked, presumably the very same 'guards' he had set up the last time. From beyond the cameras and crowds, another clone behind a sniper rifle, the dim light of a game console barely illuminating him in the dark. Another silhouette wandered beyond the set, the shadow of a katana in its hand.

"TOOOOODAY, we've got one of our MOST SPECIAL guest stars yet! Originally we were plannin' on bringing him in LATER, but he just KEPT ON INSISTING. He's everyone's FAVORITE recurring guest star on NTV! You know him! You LOVE him! Rodents and worms, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEEEE'S PEPPINO!!"

The camera panned over toward Peppino, who had been stirring awake within the confines of a pot, rope tied tightly around him. Despite the alarming display, it seemed as though it was simply that—a display, and nothing more. No flame, no heating element, the giant pot simply sat harmlessly on the ground. He'd even already been fitted with a wireless microphone and a battery pack!

The rope, almost magically, began to loosen as the clone snapped his fingers. He gestured toward Peppino, enthusiastically calling him over to his side at the kitchen counter. No shackles, no chains, no cement shoes, even a set of knives within arm's reach... this was an odd display of arrogance, considering the last two guest stars.

"WELCOME TO THE SHOW, OL' PAL!! I'm sure it's good to be here! Why don't ya take a little moment to introduce yourself to the crowd! Tell 'em WHO you are, WHERE you're from, and WHAT you love most about cooking!"

If there was ever a time to stall for time, this was it.

[heartbinders]

❝ Y'know, I wonder what that message in the Spirit said. Maybe the guy that he went with can open him and read it. Sure hope he comes back around to tell us if he can... ❞

❝ ...Sora...? You're crying. ❞

❝ ...Huh? ❞

[djhallyboo]

"SWEET SUPERSTARS ABOVE, WHY ARE THERE TWO OF YOU?"

[thebananwithaplan]

"...Spirits, huh." Anyone who's read everything going on in this blog at this point knows that he's no stranger to the paranormal. Mostly unintentional. But from what's described in the group chat, the ones that red guy's looking for look like sentient bottles of...alcohol? And apparently Anton's having to go collect as many as he can in order to pass through something.

"Hope luck's on his side, I guess." He's said he'd keep his eyes peeled for them. but the odds of something manifesting very close by?

....Okay. It's happened sometimes. More than the banana wanted to. But the odds that something would appear right when they need it is also very, very slim.

Oh well. Maybe he could use another pb&j; just a quick stop to the kitchen should do it.

...Say. Why is there music coming from inside the kitchen?

♪Wayya, Wayya, Wayya, Wayya, now eyyy-o, eyyy-o, eyyy-o, eyyy-o!♪

...Oh. Not just one, but TWO dancing bottles of banana rum?

At this time of day?

At this time of year?

In this part of the country?

Located entirely within his kitchen???

"Yes."

...Oh. At least they didn't appear somewhere inside his studio. Can't have people questioning why he'd even bring alcohol in what's supposed to be a public setting where families come to visit-

(( @emptyzone two of 'em))

[jacksebastian0297]

Corpus Christi Lake

[skyfcx]

@emptyzone (Noise) 'Liked' for a Starter!

     Okay, this scenario needed a little bit of explanation.

     So... the kit was a bit of an artillerist. Where others found their ability to make a change through their speed or raw power, Tails found his behind the barrel of an arm cannon. That, and the plentiful gadgets and gizmos he had made by hand. Natural athleticism could only get him so far. Some augmentations and various tricks up his sleeve were how he got things done at the end of the day. But... the fox was one on a budget.

     He wasn't exactly being funded for being a hero. Despite working alongside the government here and there, they also went against it when it seemed necessary. Therefore, he and his friends were technically vigilantes, and... there was no allocation for vigilantes. Which left only one route left. Sweet, sweet D.I.Y.! Far from a foreign craft for the fox. He had made a television out of paperclips, reprogrammed a super computer using dishwashing detergent and a toothpick, and... you get the picture. All he needed were the materials.

     Right now, some small-grade explosives were on the shopping list. Dummy Ring Bombs were his favorite, but it was good to have a variety for whatever situation faced him. General supplies should include some gunpowder, a material for the casing, ignition starters, and—

     —And a never-before-seen store named Bombs“R”Us...

     Well, how convenient. It was a colorfully decorated storefront touting lower-than-low prices with stock that was just exploding off the shelves! Hah-hah. This was the most obvious trap he'd ever seen in his life. Had someone been spying on him with hopes of erecting the most devilishly cartoonish steak-on-a-meathook pitfall to be created? Gaia below, he feels like an anvil would fall on his head if he walked through the doors.

     ...      ......      ..........

     Curse his curiosity. Today's really the day it finally gets him killed, huh? Always knew he'd go out like this... Because his thoughts wouldn't stop racing! When was it built? How long had it been there? How didn't he notice its creation? Was this a trap specifically for him? Or is he just getting caught in some oddly specific crossfire? It was questions like these that led the high-flying fox straight for those double doors. What could possibly go wrong, right?

[robotnikium]

Elsewhere, in the Jester Zone:

❝ ROBOTNIK YOU USELESS TWIT — ❞

[noisester]

@emptyzone: H... Hi, Noisester. You may have been wondering where Mr. Emptyzone is. Naturally there's no moral obligation to be on the dashboard or anything, even for rat bastards, but he like... Maybe he dealt with a bug arc of his o... Okay. To say he shambles into frame is an understatement. He drags himself into frame. G... Good god. He looks like someone had bashed his entire body with a mallet, burned him to a crisp, smoked him like a cigarette, and then smothered him in an ashtray. Multiple. Times in a row. He desperately clutches onto Noisester's cape as he shudders, looking at him with genuine distress in his wretched eyes. This... Was not the result of a Peppino attack. "D. Do not." COUGH COUGH, WHEEZE. SHRIVELS UP. "Go. Into the big pit." COUGH. "In. Other. Sad bald man's place." WHEEEEEZE. Emptyzone is now in a family guy death pose. One frame. M... Maybe the bug moment wasn't that bad-- DID BRO JUST GO THROUGH ACTUAL HELL OFF SCREEN?

That's the thing about these two's dynamic: their synergy almost ensured there was at least one Noise engaging in tomfoolery in the dashboard. Sometimes the both of them are scarcely active, but it is what it is. Even rat bastards have lives, you know. It's easy to say Noise Noisester was having it pretty good in his dedicated Noisey-filled blog, but alas he too was susceptible to Kirm throwing her losers at him.

That woaging bird that he hates. You gave the corpse his own sideblog but not the noig??? Evil. CRUEL.

Mr. Noisester was actually about to light up the cigarette in his mouth before spotting Emptyzone in the corner of his eyes. H? Listen, the bug moment sucked because it heavily sprained his ego, which is still like, a HORRIBLE outcome for a Noise. Doesn't help that it went the way it did because the wretched writers found it funny. It was the only explanation to why he couldn't, say, swing a baseball bat on the horrid wheel and send her to Unova.

There was genuine concern in Noisester's eyes as he looked at Mr. Emptyzone... See, he was actually planning to cheeseslap that pathetic man's bald head for an hour or two. The warning was appreciated but still, uhhhhhhhhhh

"Are you gonna be alright, man? Do you need a drink or something?"

He offers him a-- that's a full 4 litres bottle of soda. Dude.

[rosadolces]

knife lessons with uncle shadough

[callouscode]

Why didn't you tell him he was a Grandpa, Missingno.

[pizzatrocious]

The broadcast begins.

Several shadowy figures scramble about to find their places, several seeming to wander off-stage to who knows where.

Finally, a spotlight flicks on, revealing a lovely mahogany desk with a tasteful lamp, a small stack of papers, a mug of coffee, and a framed picture of Peppino that seemed to have been taken VERY recently. The stage had been carpeted with a lovely ornate brown and orange carpet that was reminiscent of a snake's patterns, and a set of deep red curtains hung behind it all.

"HELLOHELLOHELLO!! WELCOME TO THE SHOW YOU ALL KNOW AND LOVE—"

The audience chimed in.

"THAT! WONDERFUL! NOISE!"

"Today I've got a GREAT guest star on today, boys and girls! You know him, you LOVE him, everyone's favorite 'literally who?', HEEEEEEEEEERE'S RONNIE!"

The main stage lights would flick on, replacing the spotlight. Next to Noise's desk sat a surprisingly comfortable armchair! A small table sat next to the chair, a glass of water and a tray of simple sugar cookies on top.

Wearing a LOVELY pair of leg shackles, AND THIS TIME TO PREVENT ANY SHENANIGANS cement shoes (separated for comfort!), was none other than the victim himself!

Behind the teen stood two towering, comically muscular-looking versions of Fake Noise, both wearing earpieces and holding batons. From far beyond the crowd sat another Noise in sunglasses, focused on solving a Rubik's cube from behind the comfort of his sniper rifle! Clearly, the host had taken exhaustive measures to prevent any sort of DUMB STUPID IDIOT FROG NONSENSE this time.

"Thanks for takin' the time outta your schedule to join the show on SUCH SHORT NOTICE! Tell us a little about yourself! I'm sure the audience is just DYING to know!"

The audience was, much like the previous episode...

Completely nonexistent.

[heartbinders]

for tierlist meme: characters that would understand kingdom hearts. unlike m

Heartbinders. B tier blog || @emptyzone

MOTHERFUCKIN' MIKE WAZOWSKI

[wariodemambo]

Hello, Wario. Are you expecting a feverish Peppino? Maybe one of the dozen of miis that seem to follow him and his friends around like ducklings? I don't know, Mario? To suddenly appear at your office's door? While they do all care about you, they're all also still kind of juggling to get back to normalcy. Or they're still trying to think of what to do or say. Maybe you're glad they haven't come around quite yet.

But uh. You're maybe forgetting someo--

The office door surprisingly remains in-tact, but the area of the wall next to it now has a comically demolitionist shaped hole next to it. Oh. Oh hello, Anton. He practically storms up to Wario before he can react in his saddened haze, and yells--

"WARIO YOU SAD OAF. WHERE'S YER GUNPOWDER."

Spoken like a man who at least looked a full hour for your supposed stash. One would ask why nobody stopped him from getting in here, but it's Anton.

For once, Wario was glad they weren't around.

Since he's been away, his team became a bunch of perceived slackers! Leaving the unfortunate CEO absolutely NO choice but to fix an entire company's worth of work alone. No time for a second job; no time for a good fight.

They deserved Wario at his best. Not ... Whatever this was.

Explosions and laughter echoed from the hall as Wario picked his nose. Internally, he hadn't noticed — accustomed to tuning out Dr. Crygor's experiments as background noise. Why would he think this was different?

Anton would barge in to see Wario at his desk, glued to his laptop screen. He doesn't register the figure in his peripheral vision as Anton. But they sounded familiar and clearly needed something from him. So...

❝ There's a secret room in the basement, ❞ He callously waved off, ❝ I thought I told you guys top stop bugg— ❞

Finally, his eyes drift up.

❝ Wait a second. ❞ Oh goodness, Wario seems to be thinking. ❝ Why are you here. Why did I just tell you that. ❞ And, finally, ❝ Why do you want to know. ❞

[thebananwithaplan]

"Guys who complains about something that doesn't mention them in name at all are probably self-projecting."

[cheftasks]

About a full, agonizing 24 hours after Ada's abrupt disappearance, Maurice gets an email from 'bitzyroomba', reading the following;

'Greetings, primary user 'Maurice'.

I am contacting you on behalf of 'Ada'. She has barely managed to reach out on a group chat a monitor talking about being unavailable due to potentially being in a different 'timeline'. While she is still able to function, she is currently unable to get into contact with you. She has assured me she'll try everything in her ability to get back to you, but there's no ETA at the moment. That's all she has asked me to tell you, as of now.

-Sincerely, Bitz'.

... who the fuck was this. how did they know ada. how did they know his name. wait forget that one, his username on literally all things was ' mauricemetsfan72 '.

he was already living a fucking nightmare, panicking at the disappearance of his partner who managed literally EVERY aspect of his life by this point, trying to distract his son from the conspicuous absence of his mama and failing because much of a blunt asshole as he was, maurice was a terrible liar. now he was getting contacted by strangers who claimed to know ada. she'd said she had been all over, had many users before him ... was this one of them? or was this one of the people looking for her? fuck. FUCK. none of this made any sense!

and there was no ada here to remind him to calm down, and to help him work through a solution. all he knew how to do was make shit worse, how to ruin everything and make everyone miserable.

a hand was dragged over his face, several replies angrily typed out and deleted over the span of a few minutes. he had no idea what to do with this. his impulse was to distrust this stranger. curse them out, tell them to fuck off and kill themselves. fucking hell. god dammit.

he hissed out in frustration, typing out a message and sending it before he had time to obsess over it any more than he already had:

tell her im gonna find her.

she'd called him cool before. like a hero from one of her shows. was about damn time he proved he could be something like that, for her.

[plentyzone]

Smacks ceiling with the end of a broom handle.

" SHUT THE HELL UP, SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO WORK AROUND HERE. "