#emptyzone

[pizzatrocious]

LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!

As usual, the audience waited in the dark studio silently... waited for their host, waited for themselves, waited for their god. The drumroll you were all more than used to by now began, feeling more like an ill omen than something of excitement. The deep red curtains lifted, and a single spotlight flicked on.

The little bastard himself was already there, striking a pose...

Then, another...

Then, one more, for good measure!

"HELLOOOOOOOOOO, LADIES AND WHELPS!!! I'M YOUR HOST, THE NOISE, AND WELCOME TO TODAY'S EPISODE OF—"

The title card flashed on-screen.

"—NOISY COOKING!"

The lights flicked on as the empty crowd went wild, revealing a kitchen not unlike that of Peppino's Pizzeria! Though similar in appearance however, the kitchen appeared spotless, the appliances brand new. In front of the Noise sat a cutting board, a set of heating elements, and an arrangement of kitchen knives and utensils. Fresh produce lay neatly across the table, accompanied by a good handful of other main ingredients, herbs, and spices.

From beyond the kitchen set, multiple large shadows lurked, presumably the very same 'guards' he had set up the last time. From beyond the cameras and crowds, another clone behind a sniper rifle, the dim light of a game console barely illuminating him in the dark. Another silhouette wandered beyond the set, the shadow of a katana in its hand.

"TOOOOODAY, we've got one of our MOST SPECIAL guest stars yet! Originally we were plannin' on bringing him in LATER, but he just KEPT ON INSISTING. He's everyone's FAVORITE recurring guest star on NTV! You know him! You LOVE him! Rodents and worms, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEEEE'S PEPPINO!!"

The camera panned over toward Peppino, who had been stirring awake within the confines of a pot, rope tied tightly around him. Despite the alarming display, it seemed as though it was simply that—a display, and nothing more. No flame, no heating element, the giant pot simply sat harmlessly on the ground. He'd even already been fitted with a wireless microphone and a battery pack!

The rope, almost magically, began to loosen as the clone snapped his fingers. He gestured toward Peppino, enthusiastically calling him over to his side at the kitchen counter. No shackles, no chains, no cement shoes, even a set of knives within arm's reach... this was an odd display of arrogance, considering the last two guest stars.

"WELCOME TO THE SHOW, OL' PAL!! I'm sure it's good to be here! Why don't ya take a little moment to introduce yourself to the crowd! Tell 'em WHO you are, WHERE you're from, and WHAT you love most about cooking!"

If there was ever a time to stall for time, this was it.

[skyfcx]

@emptyzone (Noise) 'Liked' for a Starter!

     Okay, this scenario needed a little bit of explanation.

     So... the kit was a bit of an artillerist. Where others found their ability to make a change through their speed or raw power, Tails found his behind the barrel of an arm cannon. That, and the plentiful gadgets and gizmos he had made by hand. Natural athleticism could only get him so far. Some augmentations and various tricks up his sleeve were how he got things done at the end of the day. But... the fox was one on a budget.

     He wasn't exactly being funded for being a hero. Despite working alongside the government here and there, they also went against it when it seemed necessary. Therefore, he and his friends were technically vigilantes, and... there was no allocation for vigilantes. Which left only one route left. Sweet, sweet D.I.Y.! Far from a foreign craft for the fox. He had made a television out of paperclips, reprogrammed a super computer using dishwashing detergent and a toothpick, and... you get the picture. All he needed were the materials.

     Right now, some small-grade explosives were on the shopping list. Dummy Ring Bombs were his favorite, but it was good to have a variety for whatever situation faced him. General supplies should include some gunpowder, a material for the casing, ignition starters, and—

     —And a never-before-seen store named Bombs“R”Us...

     Well, how convenient. It was a colorfully decorated storefront touting lower-than-low prices with stock that was just exploding off the shelves! Hah-hah. This was the most obvious trap he'd ever seen in his life. Had someone been spying on him with hopes of erecting the most devilishly cartoonish steak-on-a-meathook pitfall to be created? Gaia below, he feels like an anvil would fall on his head if he walked through the doors.

     ...      ......      ..........

     Curse his curiosity. Today's really the day it finally gets him killed, huh? Always knew he'd go out like this... Because his thoughts wouldn't stop racing! When was it built? How long had it been there? How didn't he notice its creation? Was this a trap specifically for him? Or is he just getting caught in some oddly specific crossfire? It was questions like these that led the high-flying fox straight for those double doors. What could possibly go wrong, right?

[gildead]

current events on the dashboard be like

ft. @pizzatrocious, @asterismas, @emptyzone, @thetravelershub, @wariodemambo, and yours truly

[wariodemambo]

Sorry if you're having a time™️ when you get home, Wario, because there's already a very. Specific knock on your door. Specific by I mean it sounds like the 1-1 theme. Does he do that on purpose or is it just in his blood.

"Hiya, Wario! It'sa Mario." Oh great. More Mario, "I hope-a you're alright after the big bout, but uh. Someone told Mario to bring him to you, so--"

Wario. Mr. Demambo. How's that imagery of Ronnie awkwardly standing behind Mario for you when you open your front door. Oh, and Son holding Duct & Tape under his arms looming behind the two red-clad guys too, but. No, that's Ronnie. That's Ronnie. Alive. Awkwardly looking away and rubbing his arm. Behind Mario. Who is clearly completely oblivious to Ronnie's apparent 'fate' judging by that casual look in his blue eyes. Ronnie did sort of look like a guy who worked for WarioWare or whatever it was called, so Mario didn't really think twice.

After picking up the rest of Gold's team, the pair awkwardly made their way home. Try as he might, the kid still managed to stir up trouble while he was away. Part of him feels a little guilty for considering a child leash, but... What else is a guy to do with a kid who doesn't know how to sit still? Then again, Gold may find a way to chew through it like Lulu, so... argh.

He just lost one child. Why did he have to be at risk of losing another? At least Gold couldn't die again, but... It sounded like this Hypno guy could do some damage if they weren't careful.

Once he finished texting Gustavo — in all capital letters, short and sweet. He knows that guy's blind as a bat — he continued to clear out the notifications of his neglected phone. Wario grumbled to himself as he could hear Shokora humming in the distance. Let me tell her, He told Gold when they arrived home, You shouldn't have to go through that.

... Good Grambi, Shokora. What could he possibly say? Your daughter got blended, came back sometime after, then disappeared with her fate unknown? Princess Shokora, spending who knows how long as a cat, watching everything of her life mutate into something so foreign. And when she finally found some semblance of happiness with them... Gah. Even if he made begrudging peace with the fact Cotton Candy may never come home... The image of Shokora's mournful visage was enough to reopen regret-filled wounds. He's sorry, Princess.

Not to mention Omino, whom he hadn't seen since they were kidnapped from Peppino's Pizza. It was only a brief glimpse, but the carnage he saw made him want to throw up. He would not wish that fate on anyone, not even Bowser.

His thoughts continued to spiral. None of them were given a chance to clear their heads, were they? Which is why, for once, Wario was glad to hear Mario's knocking on his door... He was the reason Wario picked himself back up, after all. Call it a hopeful break from the torment nexus...

Or what it would have been if all color didn't leave his face upon opening the door.

❝ — Aaaaaaaieeeeeeeeeeeeeee? ❞ My goodness, he's too shocked to even scream. His eyes keep cycling from Mario, Ronnie, Son, Duct, and Tape. Is this happening! Does Mario even know? He probably doesn't if he's still smiling at Wario, waiting for him to say something. Wario blinked a few times, rubbed his eyes, then stared momentarily. ❝ R–Ronnie? ❞ Saying that name didn't make it any more believable. Mario was still waiting. Wario coughed.

❝ I-a mean, uh. Thhhhank you, Mario – ❞ But our Princess is in another castle. ❝ Wario will, uh. Take it from here. ❞ He locked eyes with Ronnie for another moment before... Gesturing for the rest of them to come in! Where is Peppino. Are the others going to believe him. Is he dreaming. What. ❝ Let's-a hang out when times aren't... like this, yeah? Erhm. ❞ Despite how uncomfortable this reunion has started, he's relieved Ronnie is OK. ❝ Wario will, ah. Give you a call. ❞

[lultimagoccia]

@emptyzone is calling, pick up phone!

Sword! For Mario, because good god these clones can tell he's Mario and even with his brother he's being a bit overwhelmed,

Send “ Shield ” for my muse’s reaction to yours placing themselves between my muse and danger.

The Super Mario Brothers were great heroes, such that both of them were easy to recognize even lost amongst seemingly endless waves of clones and the fog of war. The two of them seemed to have each other covered pretty well, but an errant strike had managed to break past their defenses, nearly landing a critical blow on the red - hatted brother ...

— which was swiftly parried by Peppino as he thundered past the duo, in a moment of precision and sheer dumb luck. Still. It looked pretty cool, especially when he parted ways with them with a confident smirk and an ' okay! ' sign.

That one was for YOU, Luigi.

[thebananwithaplan]

Meanwhile...

From the dressing room's TV, Banana could see that his own show was still going strong. At the same time, he knows he shouldn't get too distracted, but...

He wondered how that other mess was doing.

Just one quick glance.

....Is.

Is that a bus?

"...Heh. Took him long enough." Better aim for that victory royale now, Noise.

[pizzamassacred]

@emptyzone

The sound of something wheezing. Air rattling through a constricted throat. Faint, slow gasps. It's following her. Following. Closer. Closer.

More broken bricks, fragments of dull purple and splattered with that same rusty color, scatter and roll. They're coming from behind her.

Something moves. Peripheral vision. Left side. A shade disappears. It's getting closer.

[noisester]

Happy birthday Wyrm <3 here's to more extremely loud noises !!

[herogardn]

🎧 For Lotus?

send in 🎧 & i'll randomly pick song lyrics from their playlist / accepting !

hey ! isn't it funny,  we all want what isn't right ? i said hey ! maybe you love me because i'm just another vice ?

i chainsmoke,  drink too much,  lose my luck playin' poker all night long  (  i'm such a mess !  ) stay up late,  caffeine buzz,  we've all got bad habits we don't want,  i must confess  —  !

[djhallyboo]

"IF YOU'RE A FAMOUS TV SHOW HOST, HATE PIZZA, AND CURRENTLY BEIN' VICTIMIZED BY RECENT EVENTS, I'M WILLIN' TO TAKE ON YOUR CASE..."

"PRO BONO."

[pizzatrocious]

The broadcast begins.

Several shadowy figures scramble about to find their places, several seeming to wander off-stage to who knows where.

Finally, a spotlight flicks on, revealing a lovely mahogany desk with a tasteful lamp, a small stack of papers, a mug of coffee, and a framed picture of Peppino that seemed to have been taken VERY recently. The stage had been carpeted with a lovely ornate brown and orange carpet that was reminiscent of a snake's patterns, and a set of deep red curtains hung behind it all.

"HELLOHELLOHELLO!! WELCOME TO THE SHOW YOU ALL KNOW AND LOVE—"

The audience chimed in.

"THAT! WONDERFUL! NOISE!"

"Today I've got a GREAT guest star on today, boys and girls! You know him, you LOVE him, everyone's favorite 'literally who?', HEEEEEEEEEERE'S RONNIE!"

The main stage lights would flick on, replacing the spotlight. Next to Noise's desk sat a surprisingly comfortable armchair! A small table sat next to the chair, a glass of water and a tray of simple sugar cookies on top.

Wearing a LOVELY pair of leg shackles, AND THIS TIME TO PREVENT ANY SHENANIGANS cement shoes (separated for comfort!), was none other than the victim himself!

Behind the teen stood two towering, comically muscular-looking versions of Fake Noise, both wearing earpieces and holding batons. From far beyond the crowd sat another Noise in sunglasses, focused on solving a Rubik's cube from behind the comfort of his sniper rifle! Clearly, the host had taken exhaustive measures to prevent any sort of DUMB STUPID IDIOT FROG NONSENSE this time.

"Thanks for takin' the time outta your schedule to join the show on SUCH SHORT NOTICE! Tell us a little about yourself! I'm sure the audience is just DYING to know!"

The audience was, much like the previous episode...

Completely nonexistent.

[cowboycheeseslime]

"Maybe y'get bullied 'cause you deserve it, idiot."

[cosmcther]

Rosalina, you should visit all of the Peppino muses. Every single one. They could all use the help, I think. Especially that sad one over on emptyzone, I feel like he’d appreciate it the most

     "Hmn... You don't say? Now that you mention it, I suppose I would have to agree after a certain point. I've seen a few here and there myself, and no matter the fashion of their story, whichever way it happens to get told, it seems one of their thematic constants is life pressing down on their shoulders harder than could ever be deemed necessary.

     Perhaps I will make a house call... After all, I've been meaning to pay Jae a visit after she extended a kind invitation to her homely little island. It owns quite many friendly faces, I'm sure my Lumas could find some playmates while I busy myself there."

[gildead]

Sorry, Jimmy. Sorry, Mona. He knew that he was supposed to stay at home with them. That he was grounded and supposed to wait for his dad to return, watching over his unconscious Celebi.

But the talking pizza man who made him a grilled cheese once made too convincing of an argument, and he's rather sick of being placed on the sidelines.

Besides, that thing killed his sister.

He's not alone, anyway.

"This was a terrible idea, boy." Please, obviously, came with him, as well as CC's Igglybuff strapped to Gold in a baby carrier.

"CC saved Dad." Gold swallows as he takes in the chaotic battlefield of various muses, sticking to the shadows. He's already dropped his sleeves, revealing his true horrifying visage... though Igglybuff doesn't seem to mind all that much. "We gotta avenge her. Even if we can't get her back--"

Please huffed, blowing steam through her nostrils. "The Voice of the Forest isn't even awake yet. And you left Forever and Sable with them."

Gold frowns. "Sable'll keep Forever in line. I think."

"We can only hope." Please enters a battle stance as the two set upon a crowd of clones, all hungrily turning to face the group of them. "Alright, boy, say the word."

"Alright, Please!" Gold nods forwards, towards the group of Fake Noises descending on them. "Use Earthquake!"

Please roars, and the battle begins.

[wariodemambo]

"Fiiiii!"

Hi Wario. Guess who didn't forget your birthday. Starfy visibly beams a bit as his smile is unfaltering. The little star holds up a small, wooden chest, full of the sea's local currency. Small blue pearls with little stars visible inside of them, of course. It probably amounted to like. What, 50 bucks at most? But it's the thought that counts from the little guy.

Yeah, sure, it may amount to fifty bucks at most, but . . .

Do you see him complaining?

The entire chest is scooped up as his eyes sparkle with long-lost life! It truly isn't about the money — Every coin, pearl, or gem was proof of adventure. And, even if they weren't collected on a trip . . . Something at least warms him up to know each pearl made Starfy think of him.

The little star gets scooped up, and squished tight! Though he doesn't say anything, he can't help but laugh.

❝ WAHAHA! Wario thanks you, lil' buddy. ❞ A noogie has been deployed. ❝ You-a know me so well. ❞

[lultimagoccia]

@emptyzone is calling, pick up phone!

Ring, ring. The pizzeria's phone goes off. There's a bit of silence on the other end, slightly hesitant to speak up-- "Uh, bossman?" That's a better intro, right? Ronnie audibly sucks in air through his teeth. "I, uh. Okay. First off, I'm aliiiiive," It's said with an awkward teenage tone, "Second, uh. Uhh. I think I've accidentally been working for five of you this entire time, uh." Long pause. How is he already at a loss for words. All of those sentences sucked actually, hindsight was already 20/20. "Sorry."

It was an ordinary day. Not especially great, and not so bad either. There were mishaps, as there always were in this business, but they smoothed quickly and permitted his attention to be placed into matters of planning for the week ahead of him rather than quibbling over some disaster or another.

For once, his world made sense. Peppino kept his head above water, instead of struggling to crest the wave.

Then the phone rang. He'd picked up, launching into his rote greeting — " Peppino Pizza, the Best - A Pizza in - a Town - a! Peppino speaking, how I can help today? " — before he was answered by

by

...

If the other's silence had been awkward. This one was agonizing. The line had not dropped, as Peppino's beathing was still audible at the other end. And it was too heavy. Too hard. And it was picking up speed.

Death could not be undone. This was a truth he'd had to make peace with, many long years ago. No matter how hard he pushed himself, how fast he ran, how strong he became, he could not defy the laws of nature itself. Perhaps why the existence of ghosts unsettled him so greatly — they contradicted an understanding he'd come to about the way of the world. If a soul could linger on. Did that not mean there was a chance? More to do, more to TRY, to save the ones seemingly just a little beyond the tips of fingers? Could he not simply reach a little further, grasp hold and pull them back?

No. No. NO.

The world did NOT work like that. Death could not be undone. Ronnie was dead. Dead, gone, beyond his reach. A voice over a phone could come from anywhere, anyone. This was a joke, so cruel and wicked he could only imagine it coming from the WORST, most evil sort of being imaginable.

" ... you, " he began, at long last. It was not a tone of relief, of happiness or joy. It was compounded with an immense deal of grief and rage. " ... who the FUCK is this?! You think this is FUNNY?! Do not call my store again! You hear me?! I will KILL you, I ever see you! "

CLICK.