#emotional questions tend to be harder to answer for him

[waterlogged-detective]

11 & 12 for the Does?

- @zeebreezin

Oc Asks C:

11: In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

Jon: Boring answer I know, but Jon can’t actually…experience fear? If that makes sense. It’s one of the emotions he can’t experience/has no reference point for. There’s no base point for fear in any of his books, beyond like, a standard definition. Which doesn’t help someone understand an emotion. This 100% leads to him being in Situations way too often.

Darcy: I’ve mentioned before that Darcy had a building fall on him in a Loony Tunes Moment (tm) during the fall. But he was under that building for a *while*. Like. Days. And he was *terrified* for most of it. Why was he still alive? Why couldn’t he feel half of his body? Why did he have to feel pain so hot his brain couldn’t even black out for him. Why did he have to be awake for everything *the entire time*? It was Bad and resulted in severe claustrophobia.

12: In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

Jon: Unfortunately since he doesn’t have a base line for fear, he doesn’t really understand the concept of being calm. Or more, he can identify it in other people as their default state but can’t identify it in *himself* since he’s pretty much always calm. (Or excited about hyperfixation (puzzles)) Emotions are always easier to spot in other people if you don’t personally have any sort of attachment to them.

Darcy: I don’t have any specific situations but in general he’s most calm when doing a dissection, and can lose himself for hours in note taking and observation. It helps calm him down if he’s panicking. Alternatively reading any sort of medical journal or book helps as well as getting him to start talking about his work to distract him.

[sabertoothwalrus]

tips for getting people to like your ocs

*disclaimer: this is based on what’s worked for me, aka an artist that likes to make comics/storyboards. so this advice is directed at people who do that

you can do things like this:

Which is fun! Character sheets like this are great, especially for personal reference! But frankly, I don’t think most people engage with this (at least I personally don’t). You could have the coolest character in the world, but it will be harder for most people to feel invested when they’re presented so neutrally like this.

My main piece of advice is: get better at writing.

That might sound harsh when said like that, but let me explain what I mean! (Not trying to imply you’re bad at writing either!)

What I tend to do is just throw characters into situations with as little handholding as I can. Give enough context that readers can follow along, but don’t feel like they’re being explained to.

what can you learn about the characters through their designs alone? (age, personality, economic status, occupation, etc)

what can you learn about the characters’ relationship though their interactions alone? (are they close? familial? romantic? is there hostility? are they tense/relaxed?)

what are the characters currently doing? what were they doing previously (how long have they been talking)? what are they going to do next? can you convey this without dialogue?

how do they feel about what they are doing? are they content? focused? over/understimulated? would they rather be doing something else?

where are they? does it matter? would establishing a setting in at least one panel clarify the scene? is there anything in the enviroment that could tell some of the story?

what time of day is it? what time of year is it? what is the weather like?

Now, with all this in mind, I'm going to give you another example. I'm going to use completely brand new characters for the sake of the experiment, so you won't have any bias (aka I can’t use Protagonist from above, since you already know all about him).

Did this get more of an emotional response from you than the first example? Why do you think so? Who are these characters? How do they know each other? What else can you infer about them? What happened? Who is "she"?

Now, you don't have to actually answer all those questions. But think about them! You can tell people a whole lot about your characters without ever showing them a list of their likes and dislikes.

Obviously, comics aren't the only way to get people invested in your original characters! But regardless, easily digestible formats will grab people's attention faster than huge blocks of text, and comics are a lot less work than doing wholeass storyboards.

Now go and share your ocs with the world!!!

[starcurtain]

I wish everyone collectively understood aventurine’s character like you…things would be so much easier! I genuinely don’t understand how people keep getting his motivations wrong??? Could it be because some of the most popular Aven fanfics were written prior to his release? That could have contributed to some of the takes we tend to see about him…thoughts?

I struggled all day to come up with a concise way to answer this and couldn't think of one, so here, have a long-winded ramble:

I don't think early fic writers have much impact in the situation with Aventurine's character now, since most people can look at when a story was posted and go "Oh, this was before we had ____ information."

I think that Aventurine's problem is being a male character in a gacha game. Gacha game characters are designed to sell. Hoyo can sell female characters very, very easily. Give her huge tits and a visible underwear strap and you're good to go. I love all my guy friends, but I'm not gonna sugarcoat it: straight men are not the hardest audience to please. Hit a particular fetish (feet, spandex, dommy mommy), and you're gucci.

Nah, we all know why Jade's trailer is Like That.™

Male characters in gacha are harder to sell because women as consumers are a little harder to predict. Does every woman want a tall, ripped hunk? Shit, no, small cute boyish models like Aventurine are selling better now? Why?! Would a bad boy be more popular than a nice guy??? It's harder to account for women's tastes, especially because they are often (a little) less visually-oriented.

Hoyo is good at what they do though, and they've figured out that male characters sell very well when they possess at least one of two specific traits:

Endearing vulnerability/helplessness

Gay ship tease

Give a character both, like Aventurine? They might as well be printing money.

That sound you hear is Hoyo's stock prices rising.

So, from the very beginning, Hoyo is incentivized to create a character that appeals to people, a character people will want to crack their wallets open for. And they achieved this, first and foremost, by giving Aventurine traits that female players (in particular, but men too), find especially appealing: emotional and physical vulnerability.

We see Aventurine's pain. We sympathize with his grief. We identify with his struggle to make meaning of his difficult life. He's our woobie, blorbo, babygirl, whatever the hell they're calling it now.

He can't hide his suffering anymore. He's on the very edge. He's a dude in distress. He's surrounded by enemies! He misses his mama! He's been betrayed! No one understands him like you do, dear player!

The ultimate feeling evoked is: He needs to be saved.

When people talk about male power fantasies, I think they forget that women can experience them too, and "Emotionally vulnerable man that only I (or my favorite character) can fix" is actually a female power fantasy.

And from there it's really easy, right: the people who shell out cash to buy warps for their harmed-husbando feel like they've saved him; the people who are into mlm ships look for the nearest hot dude to be the savior Ratio was waiting for his time lol.

Morally and intellectually, this type of deep-down-golden-hearted, emotionally-wounded male character is very easy to digest. There is nothing to dislike about this type of character or role in the story: this character is a good guy who has just gone through so many terrible situations, whose victim status makes him endearing, and whose lack of agency means that any of the questionable or downright bad things he does are always the result of someone else forcing his hand, and never something he would have chosen himself.

His motivations are always clear and consistent: get free, heal, and live happily ever after.

Insert the Wreck-It Ralph meme: "Do people assume all your problems got solved when a big strong man showed up?" But to be fair, a big strong man did kind of solve Aventurine's problem, so--

Anyway, it's simple. It's straightforward. Morally, it's pretty cut and dry, black and white: Aventurine is our hero, which means everyone dictating the course of his miserable life is evil.

Hoyo is not remotely discouraging people from literally buying into this emotional appeal.

And trust me, I get it. I'll be the first to admit that hurt-comfort is its own entire genre in fandom because it is so appealing. People eat up Aventurine's tragic backstory like candy! The idea of watching a character go through hell at the hands of bad guys just to finally find a happy end is like the definition of everyone's favorite story.

In fact... people love Aventurine's suffering so much, they have invented whole new ways for him to suffer that aren't even in the game.

This is where we get all the headcanons that Aventurine was a sex slave, every single person he meets hates him because of his race, the Stonehearts are executioners holding knives to his throat, Jade enslaved him to the IPC with a lifelong contract, his material possessions belong to the company, the IPC is forcing him to take only the most dangerous missions where he is being required by his evil jailers to continually put his life on the line... You name it and I promise you, I can find a fanfic where Aventurine suffers from it. 😂

Bro can't even sleep in on his day off; life is so hard for this man.

Being serious: if the game is telling us that Aventurine is a victim... Why not make him the perfect victim?

Why not envision an Aventurine with no freedom, who bears no responsibility for any of the horrible situations he is in or any of the dubious things he does?

It's so natural to like that version of Aventurine, so appealing to see a totally powerless underdog use his own wits and charms to claw his way up to freedom. Or, if you're the kind who really relishes angst: It's even appealing to see Aventurine lose more. To delight in fics where he loses his wealth, where the IPC punishes him for past crimes while he's powerless to stop them... (I assure you, this is many people's cup of tea and the fanfics prove it!)

Ultimately, there's nothing wrong with liking characters who are exactly this straightforward! It's completely fine to embrace characters that are intentionally written to be morally above-board, whose primary role in the story is to generate angst by being a good person who suffers, or those characters who never show unlikable traits, bad decisions, or contradictory actions.

The problem is that that's just not who the game is telling us Aventurine is.

Hoyo may be capitalizing off people who love to envision poor Aventurine still living his life as a slave... But the game also needs to tell a complicated enough story overall to appeal to people who don't care about this specific husbando--Aventurine's role in the actual game's plot has to be interesting enough for almost everyone to appreciate it, not just Aventurine's simp squad. (Don't get mad, I'm in the simp squad with you.)

So his character doesn't stop at just being a pure-hearted victim who is still waiting to be saved.

Aventurine is not that easy to label, and I think the biggest struggle in this character's fandom right now is between people who prefer the even-more-angsty, still-a-slave Aventurine versus people who want a morally grey, self-destructive character instead.

To me personally, while I greatly understand the appeal of fanon!Aventurine and the joy of a really juicy angst fic where characters lose it all, I think that missing out on the depth that canon is suggesting would be a real loss on the fandom's part.

The character motivations that Aventurine shows in the game are complicated. They cancel each other out. They're basically self-harm! He makes almost every situation he's in worse for himself--on purpose.

He is a good person, but also a person who has done unspeakable things. He does have morals, but he's not above allowing those who don't have them to use him to their advantage.

He's both the victim and the victor. He's his own worst enemy. He's a lost little boy who's been making terrible decisions for himself since he was like eight years old, and a grown ass man who is barely managing to fake his way through an existence that destiny is not letting him quit.

This kind of character is a lot harder to embrace. He's done things that most people would find appalling--like willingly joining up with the organization that let his entire race be massacred. He's invented a whole new peacock persona to frivolously flaunt riches he doesn't even care about (Poison Dart Frog Self-Defense 101). He actively plays into racist stereotypes about his people to manipulate others through their preconceived expectations. He's made a mockery of his mother's and sister's hopes and dreams by endlessly trying to throw his own life away.

He has flaws! He bet everything he had on a ploy without doing his homework to find out if the people he was risking his life for were even still around. (Maybe he already knew, and couldn't bear to admit it, even to himself.) He's intentionally off-putting and obnoxious to everyone he meets (Poison Dart Frog Self-Defense 102). He terrifies everyone who gets close to him by (seemingly) carelessly throwing himself into the jaws of death without the slightest provocation.

He knowingly allows the IPC to exploit his power and talents for profit. Did everyone forget that his role in the Strategic Investment Department is asset liquidation?! Like, his actual day-to-day job is ruining people's lives. Canonically, Aventurine kills people when his deals go bad.

His motivations change off-screen in two lines of story text. We're told in one line that his biggest reason for joining the IPC was to make money to save the Avgin, then in the next line we find out that's impossible. And... then what? What motivations does he even have now? The whole point of his character arc from 2.0-2.1 is that he was on the edge of giving in to utter despair and nihilism because he couldn't even perceive a single reason to stay alive. He has no purpose in life before Penacony, and that didn't start with the Stonehearts at all??

People keep saying Aventurine was held in the IPC by golden handcuffs, but how do you tie down someone for whom profit is meaningless? What can you offer to a man whose only desire is to bring back something already lost forever? How do you imprison someone whose only definition of freedom is, canonically, death?

Working for the Stonehearts is obviously not healthy. But that's why Aventurine was doing it--because taking dangerous missions allowed him to put himself at risk. The job that he originally pursued hoping to save his people became a direct means to self-harm, and the IPC's only real role in that was just happily profiting off the results.

The journal entries for Aventurine's quests are there deliberately to tell the player what is on his mind, and none of it has to do with escaping from his job:

Like... Work is the least of this man's problems.

At really the risk of rambling on too long now, he's also just a massive walking contradiction:

Aventurine is among the most explicitly religious characters in the game, yet he's one of the only people in the entire game that we have ever seen actively question his people's aeon.

You might be tempted to think Aventurine's risky gambles with his life as an adult are a result of giving up after finding out about the Avgin massacre... Butttt no, Hoyo makes sure to tell us that even at knee-high in the Sigonian desert, Kakavasha was already willing to risk himself in a fight to the death against monsters because even back then he found his own life to have less value than a single memento.

He's the "chosen one" who will lead his people to prosperity... except they're all dead.

He's explicitly suicidal... andddd also a pathstrider of Preservation.

He wants to die... He doesn't want to die. He wants to make it end, yet goes to staggering lengths to continually survive. (Every plan risks his life on purpose--but every plan's win condition is also to live.) He life is the chip tossed down, but his hand is trembling beneath the table. When faced with an otherwise unsurvivable situation, Aventurine literally became a winner of the Hunger Games. He beat other innocent people to death with his own chain-bound hands just to come out alive.

He knows the IPC failed the Avgin and left them to die... and he still willingly sought out a position of power in their organization. Maybe he really is after revenge... but maybe not.

He starts his journey in the IPC with a truly noble goal in mind: to help his people using his newfound wealth and power. He's a good guy who did genuinely want to save the Avgin and repay all those who helped him. But once it became clear he was too late, once it was obvious he would have no use at all for that monetary wealth and power he risked his life to get... What did he do with it? Unlike Jade, we don't see him over here donating to orphanages. (I'm not that heartless; I'm sure he does actually do a lot of good things with his money on the side, but the point is that the game does not show us that--it shows us, over and over again, Aventurine putting on a wasteful, over-indulgent persona toward wealth. We've supposed to feel how meaningless money is to him, how meaningless everything is becoming to him.)

He outright refuses to use underhanded tactics or to cheat at gambles, which is meant to show us that's he's more morally upright than his coworkers. There's an entire exchange where he says that he'll never stoop to using manipulation the way Opal does. But... he doesn't have any issue fulfilling Opal's exact agenda. He was never remotely morally conflicted about denying the Penaconians their freedom by dragging Penacony back under IPC control.

He's willing to risk his own life, which is one thing--but he's also willing to risk other people's well-being. Topaz accuses him of constantly egging their clients on into dangerous situations; we've actively seen him shove a gun into Ratio's hands and pull the trigger with no care for how Ratio would feel about that on their very first meeting... Dragging the Astral Express crew into the entire Penacony plan in the first place was exceedingly dangerous...

To me, I just think it's vital to understand his character through the lens of these contradictions because they demonstrate the extreme polarity of Aventurine's life: from rags to riches, from powerless to empowered by multiple aeons, from willing to kill to survive to killing himself... He has quite literally lived a life of "all or nothing," and while he is the victim of many terrible situations out of his control, his arc as a character involves facing the truth of himself and the future his own actions are hurtling him toward.

Frankly, the Aventurine that canon is suggesting is a little annoying. You want to grab him by the shoulders, shake him, and say "Why are you like this?!" And he won't even have an answer for you, because he doesn't even know why he's still alive.

In the end, to me, this is so, so much more interesting. I can read an endless supply of hurt-comfort fics where Aventurine escapes the evil IPC and Ratio is there to fill the void in his life with the power of love and catcakes and be a perfectly happy clam online, but I want canon to continue to serve us this incredible mess of a man who constantly takes one step forward and two steps back.

Who is fully aware of his role as a cog in the grotesque profit-wheel of cosmic capitalism and still manages to say he never changed from the rags-wearing desert rat of the Sigonian wastes.

Who over and over again flirts with nihility but, ultimately, even if he has to wrest it from the grip of the gods themselves with bloody, chain-bound hands, chooses life.

[partycatty]

Hiee! I love the way you write bi han. When i read new tricks i IMMEDIATELY ascended. The depression i got when i finished reading them was tragic…

Me thirsting: I really wanna make out wit that man, like… imagine a situation where all you do is stare at him and hope he telepathically gets what you wanna do, but he just ignores you cause he dunno know how to initiate that shit 💀 he just needs a little push per say! Maybe one day you decide enough is enough and you sit your happy ass right down on his lap and bat your lashes at him like a menace 💕

ps: i hope u don’t mind me yapping… ik cage is your man, i apologize 😔🙏🏾

bi-han > see me now

notes: i've noticed i've kinda diverted my attention to other mk boys lately... namely raiden, kuai liang, bi-han and liu kang... so this works perfectly for me...

[ masterlist ]

• bi-han was a common victim to your teasing, particularly because it would render him entirely speechless and still. for a man that tends to rant about glory and strength, you shut him up like nothing else.

• it was really hard to ignore the fact that you were super into each other, the air thick and tension high when you two were in each other's presence. his brothers would roll their eyes as their grandmaster stands dead-still, as if you had the ability to sense fear when you'd bat your eyelashes his way.

• he can't go to anyone for advice. what, he's gonna talk about his feelings? like a loser? no. real ninjas let emotions fester.

• which brings us to where we are now

• bi-han sat at his desk, physically straining himself to focus on the scroll in front of him when he sees your presence in the doorway. shit, he recognized your footsteps down the hall the moment you were in earshot.

• trying to act as if you weren't shitting your own pants at the thought of your plan, you plant your ass on his desk, sitting and dangling your feet from the wooden furniture with a singsong look about you.

• the silence is so thick is almost halts your breathing. his stone-cold face makes you wonder if this was a bad idea in hindsight, at least, until his lips part to speak.

• "what are you doing?" a simple question, really, but the answer was completely lost on you. thinking back, you didn't actually have a plan. what did you expect to happen? this is bi-han we're talking about.

• "sitting," you reply with your nose high, looking down at him like his question was idiotic.

• "on my desk?" another long silence hurts your ears as he pinches the bridge of his nose. "what do you want." his question sounded less like a question and more like an annoyed statement. then again, everything he says sounds annoyed.

• "what's your deal?" you ask your questions in such a light tone, bi-han feels more obligated to feel threatened. "do you like me or not?"

• clearly this isn't getting far. "what?"

• you huff and decide it was now or never. sliding from his desk, you saunter your way around and swing one leg over his thighs, then the other. his hands shoot out to support you, right on the plush skin of the outside of your thighs. bi-han's eyes are wide.

• "you see me now?" you try to sound triumphant past your nerves, looking up at the ninja through your lashes. "always so afraid to look at me. you're not subtle, grandmaster."

• forced to face you, his gruff words feel choked as they come out. "i don't—"

• "yes you do," you smile, albeit a little wickedly as you shift on his lap, making a cold breath slip past his lips.

• "what are you getting at?" he seems eager to end this, to cool his heated temperature.

• you hum in thought before wrapping your arms around his neck. "i want you to kiss me."

• "now?"

• you roll your eyes at his chipping resolve, tugging him in by the back of his head. both of your eyes wander across each other's expressions before bi-han hesitantly meets his lips with yours. as expected, they have a bit of a chill as he makes contact, but even still you feel him melt into the touch, gripping harder on your thighs to ground himself.

• you only get a moment to pull away and breathe, relishing in taking what you wanted from the hard ass grandmaster. the triumph is short lived when he thrusts his head back in, connecting his lips with yours with more fervor after successfully testing the waters.

• he's hungry, craving more of what he sampled after successfully tearing down this stupid barrier he put up. god, your taste drives him wild as his hands guide your hips along his, grinding with hard pressure.

• it becomes open-mouthed and messy rather quickly, bi-han's hands wandering up from your thighs to your waist, the touch making you shiver and gasp as he uses the opportunity to lick his tongue into your mouth, completely absorbing every whimper you give.

• your hands snake into his hair, deepening the kiss when you snag a fistful of his dark locks, and he groans into your mouth just as the tie falls loose. strands litter his face and swirl about, you hadn't even noticed they were wavy from how often he keeps his hair up.

• the want for more is overpowered by your critical thinking skills. "weren't you busy?"

• bi-han shakes his head slightly, jumping up from his chair and bringing you with him. instinctively, your thighs clasp around his middle, holding his shoulders as he shamelessly uses your ass to hold you up. you're slid onto the desk as various items clatter and fall to the floor, his hard body fitting perfectly between your legs as he reaches forward to kiss you again, chasing your lips when you pull away.

• "it can wait."

[andrew-thy-accursed]

hi Andrew !! I have a question about 1995*, how did Pelle feel after he survived? Well, he was going to kill himself completely, but in the end he was able to survive, shouldn't that have hit him even harder? thanks for the answer!

Hiii again!! So right off the bat :

CW for discussion of Self Harm & Suicide



When one attempts suicide of any form, you aren't expecting to live, obviously. Because if you attempt to take your own life there's a lot of shockwaves of different kinds from an attempt. Shame, embarrassment, guilt, etc. (ime)

From my experiences, after an attempt one is more often than not still suicidal; so I'd imagine Pelle is still feeling that way. Pelle is put into a hospital for emergency surgery and once he wakes up he's obviously in bandages; but when he's up and conscious it's confusing. He tried to kill himself, so why is he in the fucking hospital bandaged up? I specifically see him being more upset in his head, but not physically fighting back or showing anything seeming more "empty" than anything else; he just asks for someone else to take his own life again. Pelle's an emotional mess inside but he refuses to let it show, everyone now knows he tried to kill himself so he's embarrassed and also feels guilty because of the "repercussions" of it socially. He won't let Øystein talk to him and refuses to communicate with anyone trying to help him (including his doctors and nurses) after remaining "concerningly calm" for a period of time.

Now I need to do more research on hospitals in the early 90s but even then I imagine they have something akin to current days "suicide watch" when you're in a hospital and actively showing signs of "suicidal ideation"...because of this I feel like Pelle would minimally speak to nurses after slightly warming up, but refuse to speak to his doctor & anyone else. He wants out of that Hospital, so he's not going to make a fuss or get physical or speak because that will just keep him there longer and he knows that.

Since pelle won't let Øystein visit him; Øystein instead decides to write letters to Pelle while he's in the hospital and deliver them to the desk attendant to take to pelle. After a period of time writing letters to him, Pelle finally lets Øystein visit. Seeing Øystein in his room sends him into a silent, very very obvious emotional episode. He's embarrassed and feels guilty that he now has to help him recover but also because he failed...on top of that he can't perform while he's recovering at all which he's afraid that Øystein is going to hate him.

If anything, Øystein's presence is enough to stop him from being suicidal for even a small amount of time.

But yeah, overall he is not doing so great immediately after the attempt and also for quite a few years after. He slowly works to get better, but relapses several times over and over, but he keeps trying to get better for Øystein (because he hasn't learned he needs to heal for himself before he can for anyone else)

Also wanna state : I know I didn't go into too much detail here because in my writings when I post them in the future it's more in depth and clearer. I tend to project a lot of my own experiences with surviving two attempts and a separate psych ward hospitalization onto him; and a lot of it comes out more raw in my writings. I don't see him as someone who presents his emotions too much visually or as someone who openly cries too much. I dunno. I'm rambling at this point lol, words are hard!!

[ciaossu-imagines]

Idk if you ever had this quesrion but---

The vongola guardians and any additional characters you want : ... How do they grief? After a small thing that happened, like loosing a precious item, then maybe something more upsetting like breaking up after a long time of being with someone up to actually losing a person to death. How do they cope? How do they handle life from then on out?

You dont have to answer but i thought this might be interesting to ponder

I don’t think I’ve ever had this question! It’s a little surprising, because it is such a really interesting, thought-provoking request! Thank you so much for sending it in and I hope I’ve done such an intriguing concept justice in my answers, that everything feels organic to the characters, and most importantly, that you lovelies all enjoy the headcanons 😊 Because this ended up being so long, I do need to make it into separate posts for Tumblr to allow me to post it, so the question will be answered along multiple days. And honestly, since this took me nearly four hours to answer and edit, I kind of like being able to get multiple queued posts for it, sorry!

Tsuna

Tsuna is someone who is actually a little prone to grief. His emotions tend to run deep, he gets attached to things and people pretty easily, and it hits him hard when things end, get lost, or stop being the same. While he knows change can be a positive thing, sees how change has helped his life be better, major changes will affect him emotionally quite badly, especially if that change is one that he did not want.

He’s not always the best at figuring out how to handle his emotions, even the positive ones, and that is something that is even harder for him to do when the emotions become larger and more profound. He struggles to wrap his head around feelings of grief and loss, what to do with those emotions, or how to properly move on from them. He finds it hard to start properly grieving. He doesn’t really know how to. He doesn’t let it be instinctual – he gets caught up in feeling like he should be grieving in this or that way and because of this, he often finds that his grief lasts longer, or that he feels like he’s got over something that made him grieve, only to find himself taking steps backwards and getting caught up in the grief again. He can sometimes take the view that grief is something that has all these properly laid-out steps and actions that you need to progress through to get completely cured of that grief, instead of something that is very personal and individual.

Now, Tsuna is someone who will definitely feel grief over small things. He does place sentimental value on objects. He’s someone who really does treasure things that were given to him by the people in his life. We see this in the charm from Kyoko that Tsuna gets really anxious about misplacing in canon. I think it’s this way for a lot of things – the first real birthday gift that Lambo and I-Pin got him with their allowance money or his favourite hoodie, the one his mother went out of her way to buy, even though it was stupidly expensive, just because he’d mentioned how badly he wanted it. I have always had this headcanon that Tsuna also collects pictures of him and the other Guardians and his other friends through the years and that those mean the world to him. He’ll cherish his first apartment.

When Tsuna loses one of those sentimental objects, he gets really upset about it. He gets anxious, unhappy, and he tends to immediately feel a lot of guilt about it. He defaults to blaming himself for whatever happened to those objects – he didn’t take good enough care of it obviously, it’s his fault for losing it, he really is no good. He takes losing something that was given to him really hard and he’ll drive himself a little crazy looking for it. He feels so bad about losing that thing and he fully expects whoever gave it to him to get really upset at him for misplacing it if he cannot find it. He is just that angry and upset at himself, after all.

An avid gamer, someone who loves reading manga, and someone who really gets into the tv shows he loves, Tsuna forms connections with fictional characters pretty easily. When his favourite characters die, he definitely gets sad and upset about it. He won’t cry about these little moments of grief, but he’ll feel crummy about it for several days. He’ll vent about it to friends and he’ll be upset. He might even stop watching the show or playing the game, feeling that everything’s been ruined about it now that it’s made him feel that emotional reaction.

For small things that make him grieve, like growing out of a favourite piece of clothing, leaving his house for the first time to live on his own or for moving on from his first adult apartment, the moments will be very bittersweet. On one hand, he knows that all life chapters have to end and that there are still many beautiful things to come, but at the same time, he finds himself quite sad. He finds himself remembering every single good moment spent in that thing or that place and he does get glassy eyed. He really relies on his friends and loved ones at these times to keep him positive and excited about the things to come, because without that, he could find himself wallowing in those sad moments instead of embracing the future.

Things that hit harder, that are more serious grief-inducing moments, hit Tsuna hard. To use the example of a break-up, Tsuna is really going to feel miserable. He’s really sad about everything and he definitely does cry about it, when he’s alone or at least thinks he is. He doesn’t want anyone else to catch him crying like a baby because of something like that, but at the same time, he can’t keep himself from needing that cry. Everything just feels bad and hopeless and like it will never be happy again.

A running theme, I think Tsuna’s first instinct, in the face of this kind of grief, is again to blame himself for whatever caused that grief. Even if it logically doesn’t make sense, even if others assure him that it wasn’t his fault, he still blames himself. He feels this distinct amount of guilt and pain about it. He makes himself shoulder all the blame for the situation, convinces himself that all the pain he’s feeling is because he failed in some way. He just wasn’t good enough to stop this from happening. There must have been something he did or something he didn’t do that caused this.

It isn’t a feeling that will just go away. There isn’t going to be a day when Tsuna just wakes up and has an epiphany that, no, this wasn’t my fault. I did everything I could. This person leaving me was on them and not on me. That’s not something that will happen to him. That grief will always be there in his brain, and he will always blame himself for the situation that caused the grief. It’s just that, with time, Tsuna will be able to push that grief and blame out of focus. He’ll be able to start coping with it, in his own way, and he’ll start being able to tune it out a little. He’ll go back to being able to live his life, though he won’t live it ever quite the same again. His life, his choices, his attitudes on things will change, even if they change by such a small degree that it’s barely noticeable to anyone besides Tsuna and those who know him best. He’ll learn to not think about the grief as much, with it really only popping up every now and then, when he’ll feel those emotions again just as strong as the day it happened. When he does feel those emotions, over and over again, he becomes better at pushing them away though instead of focusing them, with each time that wound is reopened.

Surprise, surprise, but that habit of blaming himself for situations that make him grief is also very much carried over to the large moments of grief. Those around him dying and leaving him behind makes him not only unbearably sad, but those moments fill him with so much anxiety, guilt, and regret that it’s almost unbearable. By the time those moments start happening, Tsuna has already been trained on how to continue on in his duties, despite the overwhelming waves of emotions that are washing over him, and he does his best for those left behind with him. Honestly, if it wasn’t for that act of needing to be there for those others left behind, if it wasn’t for needing to be strong for them, Tsuna would probably crumble a little in the wake of that amount of grief. He kind of does appreciate having them there, appreciate having something to concentrate on besides his grief, at moments. At other times, he feels burdened by them, though he would never admit it out loud, and feels resentful for not being able to have the choice to wall himself off from everyone and just let the grief run its course.

Someone he loves dying…it’s his fault, obviously. It’s because he either wasn’t strong enough to save them or because he exposed them to danger because of the life he was forced into. In the case of the person dying in a way that could not conceivably be his fault, such as dying from old age, it’s still his fault. It’s his fault he hadn’t expressed more how much he loved and cared about them. It’s his fault he didn’t thank them more for all the things they did for him. It’s his fault for not making every single second they were alive count – how many hours did he waste, for example, he would think when Iemitsu died, hating or being resentful towards his father? How long did he hold out on having any kind of relationship with his father? How many years were wasted in bitterness and hurt feelings instead of letting his father connect with him? There’s all these regrets, all these ‘what-ifs’ in the face of grief and they all feel like they’re about to drown Tsuna in their heaviness.

Much like with the smaller grieving, it’s not so much that Tsuna will come to grips with these thoughts. It’s not that he’ll forgive himself, not entirely. It’s more that, with time and with life continuing to go on, with the expectations on him to keep soldiering on, he learns to live without that person’s presence in his life. He learns to keep going. He learns to find happy moments again that aren’t overshadowed by thoughts of the person. He learns to tuck that person into his heart and his mind. He learns how to come out of the grief still intact, though changed forever by his regrets and sadness. There will be days, months, years he can go without thinking of them, but he’ll still have days, even years after that person’s death, where something will trigger that latent grief he hangs onto inside, and he’ll find himself needing to hide away and cry all over again.

[niyana-the-ambiguous-mobian]

Alright, alright, alright! New story drop time! After working on this for several months, it's finally time.

This little beauty is a part of the awesome Sonic the Hedgehog Big Bang 2024 event that was ran by the mods over on the discord. ( @sthbigbang ).

Another huge thanks goes to the absolutely wonderful artists for their collaboration art pieces for this fic.

@vanlikespaintingclouds (X), @kkomsed (X), and @mmollymercury (X). Links will be updated!

I See Your Monsters, I’ll Chase Them All Away.

Central Characters: Shadow the Hedgehog, Maria Robotnik, Gerald Robotnik.

Summary:

In the grand scheme of things, Shadow's existence in this world was so short, so inexperienced, yet for Shadow himself, it feels like he's been here as long as everyone else.

Even keeping his best friend, Maria, happy each time they see each other and hang out started to come so naturally that he didn't question how to improve on it, he just did it and the results were better each time.

He wanted to help her, he wanted to save her from this illness, to let her visit that planet that was filled with so much wonder and beauty, something they could experience together.

He wanted to keep her safe.

But just like a fire trying its hardest to burn its last spark of embers in the darkest night to share its glow and warmth, that hope doesn't always last forever.

It's a story about the values of trust, the strength of friendship and the power of love, a story of Shadow the Hedgehog and how he was able to be the last burning ember in the darkness that fell over the entire colony. He will be the light that chases the monsters away.

——————————————————————

Chapter 1. I see you…

✧⋄⋄✧⋄⋄✧

He doesn’t tend to look back on the past too often, mostly because of what is available for him to look back on, which wasn't much.

His memories are usually hazy, out of order and hard to comprehend at times, and that was before he was aware that his own memories were altered after he was woken up.

Whenever he tries to remember those days of his past, the early days of his creation, he could never clearly remember the time where he first opened his eyes or heard sounds for the first time, only things that happened soon afterwards.

His first memories upon his creation were always a blur of images, incomprehensible to his newly born mind.

The lukewarm feeling of the water surrounding his entire body as he floated in the capsule.

The tight yet secure feeling of the mask wrapped around his muzzle that allowed him to get air that never seemed to run out.

It was a whirlwind of emotions and sensations that was overwhelming to him even though he didn’t feel scared.

The various, tall, unrecognizable figures that passed by in his field of view, staring at him with either wonder or bewilderment. Sometimes standing close up to where they talked among themselves while looking at him as if he was a bomb that was getting ready to blow if they got too close.

Humans.

They are called Humans.

Somehow he already knew that; he didn’t know how he knew this answer, but it seemed to match with how he saw them and accepted the notion.

He would tend to imagine what they were actually talking about, since all he could hear was the muffled sounds of their voices. Some were higher in pitch than others, a lot of them were deeper, which made it harder to understand them other than hearing the noise.

The duration of time was unfamiliar, he didn’t know how long a day or a week was while he was in there, only knowing that once the lights had been turned off, it was quite a long time before anyone else came back into the room.

Eventually, he did see one person that caught his eye during one of the dark periods of the day. Somebody he'd never even seen before.

A smaller human?

A child. It is a child.

Again, he already knew despite him never meeting said child before.

He saw her walk into the room, stepping in slow, careful steps; her head glancing around at the endless equipment that towered over her. Eventually her line of sight finally landed on his incubation chamber. At first he thought he was imagining things, with how still she was standing in the near pitch black darkness of the lab until she finally moved closer.

She was smaller than he originally thought, much smaller than any of the humans. She was taking small slow steps towards the capsule, staring at him with wide eyes, tilting her head as he stared back.

Her eyes were a color that he didn't recognize, they were…bright and luminated against the dim, thick liquid of his capsule. The same color was seen on her attire, covering her entire torso to her feet from what he could see.

They were hidden behind some odd, rectangular shapes resting on her face, the light from the capsule reflected off of them each time her head moved.

The one color that stood out was the even brighter color that was seen on the top of her head and was trailing over her shoulders. He couldn’t explain it but as soon as he saw it, he felt… ease. Like the color of this oddly looking mane from this tiny human suddenly made him feel comfort and didn't know the answer why.

If there even was an answer.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice the human walking even closer to his capsule and started to knock lightly against the glass. His eyes locked directly onto her's, making her jump from the direct eye contact and take a step back, but not too much where he could still point out the distinct details on her face. Like the light dusting of tiny dots that was around her nose and cheeks or how the square objects on her face were constantly slipping down her nose so she kept having to push them back up towards her eyes.

She brought her balled up fists close to her chin and mouth, shrinking back and stepping backwards away from the capsule and into the shadows.

Why was she backing away? Was she apprehensive?

Or was she scared?

Or was she scared of him? He wouldn't be able to harm her from where he was, not with the thick glass separating them from each other.

Maybe she didn't know that, maybe the smaller human was scared due to how he appeared to her. He still didn’t know how his full appearance looked other than the brief times he was awake and was able to see his reflection and take note of how dark his own body looked, a stark comparison to the human’s light clothing and hair.

It was only when she started to back up more away from his capsule was when his hand began to reach out to her, he didn’t realize until his hand came in his line of focus.

The human paused, eyeing his outstretched hand and hesitating, finally stepping forward into the light once more. She stared curiously, giving a small, timid wave at him.

Raising his hand slowly, he copied her wave, earning him a smile from her and watched her cautiously when she came up close and placed both her hands against the glass.

She studied his face, tilting her head from side to side, making him unconsciously do the same. She then tilted her head to the other side, with Shadow following closely.

This brought an even wider smile from her, she continued to rock her head back and forth while he followed every move. He noticed as she was doing this, her shoulders were moving up and down, while her stomach moved in and out in a manner that looked like she was breathing rather rapidly, but she was still beaming at him in a way that didn't seem like she was in distress.

She even pressed her face up against the glass, crossing her eyes and puffing up her cheeks, creating a small fog with her mouth.

He didn't know much about humans, but they were already so confusing to understand.

The girl's head suddenly whips around, almost in alarm towards the door, making him see where she was looking right as the doors slid open to reveal another human, his silhouette was immediately recognized by the overtaking detail of the long and giant length of the hair follicles that protruded from under his nose.

It was the human that he had seen the most the moment he first opened his eyes. He still didn’t know why he always felt at ease whenever he was around; perhaps it was the way he didn't react to him in a manner the other humans did, more-so bringing a calmer, comforting aura to him whenever he approached the chamber during each visit.

The same aura this child was carrying as well.

The taller human walked over to where she was, taking a quick glance at him through the glass before kneeling down next to the smaller human, saying something to her that he wasn’t able to pick up due to how softly he was talking.

A few moments passed, where the girl nodded her head, her shoulders slumping down and looking at the floor. The man's face softened as he gave her a gentle head pat, got up to his full height and reached out his hand to her.

The girl took it and the two started towards the door. Shadow could feel a sudden wave wash over his body, growing more and more each second as they got farther away.

He didn't want them to leave, he didn't want to be alone. He wanted to follow them outside this tank, to move his legs and arms and not have them be bumped against the glass. To hear their voices clearly and remember the words that they say and hold onto each one in his memory.

The girl waved her hand at him again, her eyes locking once again with his and her mouth moving as if she was saying something to him.

Even though it was during the moment right as the doors closed behind them, he had been able to distinguish certain words that they would repeat around him.

“Bye.”

Though, he could only hope that this was less of a “bye”, but more of a “see you again”.

For the first time, he really hopes that he will be able to see her again.

All he can do now is wait.

———————————

Read the rest of the story here!

[kokelek]

Hi, I have two questions for

CreeCree-WendallPie relationship

1. Who fell frist and who fell harder

2. Is that true love? Or it's just one of them begin' in love and other just going with it?

Also, another small question, does CatFigure have any love intrest? Or friends in general? Or maybe everyone hates him?

(also, I love you work, keep going!)

~ Wasabi

Hello! Sorry for the late reply, I was a little busy.

Enjoy the silly doodles

CreeCree fell in love first and harder. Although it was WendallPie who made the first step, while CreeCree was stuck in the "denial phase"

2. It's a bit difficult to describe their love dynamic.

Their love for each other is real and VERY strong, but quite immature. CreeCree is confused by his past relationship, while WendallPie has never been in one. They are still figuring out some things. Sometimes they act overly dramatic or overprotective of themselves, etc.

Yeah... CreeCree's and WendallPie's relationship is full of ups and downs... They love and care, but they don't know how to love and care.

3. CatFigure is respected by the audience and fellow circus members for his fire performances and fire dancing skills. He even has a small circle of devoted followers, who sometimes carry him around or clean his equipment.

Those who are more familiar with CatFigure, well, they don't think so highly of him. CatFigure tends to treat his peers and their feelings as if everyone were an actor on stage. (Literally. And he doesn't take himself seriously either.)

Love for Cat Figure doesn't mean much. He's been in a lot of different relationships, but those were all temporary. He views love more as a tool that can be used to get something, but also as a form of art that should be admired but not possessed. (He's weird, i know)

His enemies are FreakShow (obviously), EyeHatted, and SkyRocket (Cat's former boss). WendallPie doesn't like CatFigure either, but it's not a strong hatred.

CatFigure and CreeCree are kinda friends? There is no deeper emotional connection between these two, but they do enjoy setting things on fire together. 👍👍

Thank you for asking, It's been a while since someone gave ma an OC-related question. I love answering them!

[sevenrenny]

I might as well ask you this because I enjoy your writing and way of expressing your opinions. Why do you personally ship Sonamy? What got you into Sonamy? What’s your favorite moment between the two? I know this is a very common question, but I hope you don’t mind me asking. 😅

Oh, this ought to be fun XD I don't mind at all. Send all the asks you like, I like to talk about my interests. I tend to ramble, so excuse my long texts. Gonna insert a break line so I don't torture my followers (that sentence makes it sound like I'm running a cult.)

Why do you personally ship Sonamy? What got you into Sonamy?

These two are connected, so it's fair to answer them both in one go. I'm very new to the fandom, unlike most of the people I've met who've been here for as long as they can remember. I originally had no interest in the franchise. Yeah, I played some games and watched the anime a few years back and had some cheap plastic toys from fast-food kiddie meals, but the franchise never stuck with me back then.

I got reintroduced through Sonic Prime around last year, which led to me reading the IDW comics, which is where I started getting into SonAmy. I really liked Amy in particular; surprising, seeing as she hadn't been my favorite character as a child. I liked Tails and Silver more back then, but the comic solidified Amy as my number one. In every fandom I've been in (HTTYD, MHA) I almost always gravitate toward characters who embody love, and that's the core of Amy.

Sonic was harder for me to decipher at first, seeing as he's more of a person who shows his emotions through action rather than words (in some iterations, at least.) But seeing him be more receptive in the comics and treating her better in more recent media portrayals piqued my interest because this wasn't how I remembered these two from when I was a kid. Seeing the progression from how their dynamic started to how it became made me feel proud of them.

And I'm one of those who likes to hypothesize that their affection used to be more one-sided but became mutual over time. Things change. Feelings change. People change. And I love that.

What’s your favorite moment between the two?

This. I think this is when I started seeing the ship as something I'd like. I've inserted the second panel as well because, while I know the first one is a no-brainer for some SonAmy shippers, I don't see many of them bringing up the follow-up panel.

Before this scene, Sonic kept rejecting Amy's proposal to go back to the Resistance with her (he had his reasons, as he saw investigating the circumstances of Eggman's absence and the waves of Badniks as a higher priority. Get to the snake's head to find the root of the problem.) He was in a hurry to get going. It wasn't until Amy told him she loved him for who he was and that she didn't want to change him that he stopped, got a little flustered, and proposed she come with him instead.

And she declined. She, too, had priorities.

Before this moment, it was possible he didn't see having both Amy and his stubborn way of doing things his way possible, but after, it might've finally clicked in his head that, Oh wait, I can have both? He's asked Amy to come along with him for other adventures afterward.

Also, can I just say how much I appreciate Sonic (who has a history of being touch averse) being more welcoming to her affection? Cause I do.

Okay, switching to Frontiers:

This scene is mostly quiet (I like nonverbal communication in general) and I found it too adorable to not mention. It's just for a few seconds, but the way Sonic does a little giddy skip when she waves him over, and the the fact that he just smiled so innocently the whole time he made his way over is just pure sweetness.

This short little misunderstanding/confrontation. This one's just plain fun for me. Sonic's impatience and inability to articulate his reasoning leads to him sounding like he's abandoning the Koco Amy really wants to help. She's putting the Koco before herself when Sonic's just worried about her. As soon as the misunderstanding is cleared up, Amy calms down, seeing it from his point of view now. It's a subtle little exchange, but knowing how these two used to not be great at communication in past games, and seeing them now deescalate a little misunderstanding this calmly brings me joy.

With each Koco the characters help, there's a certain theme associated between the Koco and Sonic's friends. The inventor Koco and Tails, trying to be of use to others; the soldier Kocos and Knuckles, both who had their people wiped out. For Amy, the Koco (the only Koco who goes by they/them, so that's what I'll be using for them here) is trying to reunite with their lover who had gone into battle. Throughout the game, Amy in her ghostly form can't touch anyone, and she expresses symptoms of dissociation, of feeling 'detached', that she's flying in a dream, but she wishes to just land.

Remember, Amy is a physically affectionate person, but she can't do much of anything, let alone feel anyone, in this situation. She has to leave it to her love, Sonic, to go into battles. She knows all too well how the Koco was feeling, being separated from their lover. When Amy and Sonic watch the Koco reunite with their partner for the last time, it hits Amy hard, and Sonic knows how affected she is by this. He gives her some time to grieve because he knows her well enough to understand this hit her hard. He tells her, "They're together now." And that's all that matters. And I love that scene. It's so mild compared to what others in the community might bring up, but I'm a sucker for the quieter moments like this.

I have to stop myself now before this turns into a novel lol

[lilsocksiswriting]

Academic Weapon Chapter One

Summary:

You were like a lot of humans, born with just enough curse energy to see curses but not enough power to do anything. Your greed has helped you hold in the Jujustu Sorcery program. it is this same greed that tends to blind you to the danger you are in.

Sukuan sees you as a weak pretty thing that he can hold a conversation in his class. This is what he tells him to do he falls for you, his student because the curse refuses to believe this is love.

Oh, then there is the murder.

Characters: Reader, Ryomen Sukuna, Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto,Ieiri Shoko, Iori Utahime,

Pairings: Sukuna X Fem!Reader

Tags: College AU, Professor X Student, Modern Fantasy AU, NSFW

Masterlist  || Chapter Two || Ko-fi

Notebook, pencil case, hydration, iPad…. You go through the mental checklist to make sure you are not forgetting anything before heading out for the day. Behind you Utahime is sitting on the livingroom’s old couch as many students had done so before the four of you moved into the on-campus apartments last year.

Mei-Mei is perched on the edge, leaning just the slightest to have a look at your finalized schedule. Shoko was still  dead asleep, having pulled an all-nighter in the infirmary to help out with influx of the wounded sorceress coming back before the new semester started. Mei-Mei and Utahime thankfully not being one of those wounded and came back from their missions safe and  exhausted last night.

Giving the two a brief look as you mosey around the kitchen island to grab two mandarins and a small bag of bite sized cookies then return to put them in your bag. you frown, Here we go. Utahime’s wide eyed expression the slight tremble in her fingers were a dead giveaway. He was always so fidgety. Mei-Mei was a little harder to tell, but there was a small crinkle of concern knitted between her perfect brows.

"Alright, " you cross your arm look in between your two roommates. "I know you two are worried but-“

"Of course, we're worried! just look who you have for curse theory!" Utahime turns the phone screen to emphasize her point. She practically climbs over the back of the couch to shove the phone in your face. As if you were not the one to enroll yourself in his class.

You step back from the screen Then venture into the kitchen. “I know who I’m taking Utahime. I’m the one who enrolled in the class.”

Mei-Mei nods in agreement with that cool smirk of her's a mask that  hides her true emotions so well, "Even I must admit that you may be biting off more than you can chew. Barley anyone passes his class after all.”

"I want the challenge and he's like a 1,000 years old. Imagine what he could teach me?” you argue.

"Imagine what he can do to your GPA!" Utahime argues.

"And your mental health," adds the silver-haired woman.

You pout, this was not something new. They were about this with everything  that posed a threat of  harm to you. You turn your back on the two women and go back to finishes packing book bag. You your lucky enough to be paired with the three since freshman year. It was nice to have roommates you were such close friends with, but sometimes….They need to let me be a dam adult.

"Is it because of my curse energy?" your voice is quiet while your question is point blank.

"No," Utahime is too quick to say.

While Mei-Mei answers with an honest, "Partly."

"Mei-Mei," Utahime scolds the women on a hushed tone.

you grab your water bottle and grip it tightly, the urge to pick at the stickers strong, but they’re really cute so you resist. You try and remember they do not mean to hurt you with their concern. And as long as you are never said what was really on your mind, they would continue to be oblivious to that.

You take a deep breath to dissipate all the angry thoughts festering instead you head, you tell yourself that hurting them back would do no good. So instead, you sling your book bag over your shoulders and turn back to the two women with a one of you bright reassuring smiles.

"I have until add drop next week to decide if I can take it. So at least let me try."

Though your intention was not to hurt your tone was still a little too sharp and as a result Utahime cannot look you in the eyes as she says, “That seems fair enough..."

"We'll be waiting to hear how it goes at dinner?" Mei-Mei offers an olive branch, and you gladly accept

"With all the gory details, bye!"

Since you live on campus the walk the Jujutsu Tech building was a short one. It is the tail end of summer, late August too. Autum was already creeping across campus in the form of a leaves from a lazy, cool morning breeze. It would not be too long  now, and you cannot wait. Because when all leaves from the oaks and maples die leaving behind pretty colored corpses , when you have  sweaters and cardigans to protect you soft skin form the sharp cold, and you are knee deep in research for class assignments at hat one table in the cursed collections library,  that is when the semester will rally get started!

Professor Sukuan on the other hand ,just sees the upcoming 16 weeks as another dull way to pass his time. The curse has been teaching curse theory along with a few others Jujustu  classes for decades now. The modern age of sorcery was a lot more diverse and entraining than it was in the Heian era, just enough so to let the maggots live and continue this petty war they have with cruses.

He watches with an unimpressed expression as once student after another entered his lecture hall and takes a seat. Even in his human form he stands over most humans tall and intimidating. At the front of the hall leaned against the desk he crosses  his arms over his broad chest.

weakling, weakling weakish, Mabey promising, oh a curse speech user? Never seen one this old.

Then you step into the lecture hall.

You, with your bright eyes and excited smile. A long-pleated skirt swishing back and forth as you walk down the lecture hall steps. A pretty silk ribbon tying  back some of your hair  out of your face. It bounces along like it too was excited to be here. The sight of this adorable mortal with barley an ounce of her own curse energy bounding  into the King of Curses class?

Oh, how foolish this one is, Sukuna thinks. I will have fun breaking you today.

You drop your book bag by your chosen seat then tuck your long skirt under you as you take a seat in the third row. You go about pulling out you water bottle, pen and notebook , and  the two pieces of fruit, all while feeling like you are being watched by a hawk.

Glancing up your body tenses as the professor's red eyes narrow in on you. You look to your left then your right. Yup it is definitely you he is staring at.  No one had taken a seat by you yet. You look back at your professor with a weary expression written all over your face.

            There is a small part of you that feels giddy to have the Professor’s attention. That   would be the over achiever in you  who tries so desperately to make up for your lack of what everyone else in the program has.

 A more grown part of you knows that it will neve be enough.,

The pictures and glances you have seen of him around campus really did not do Sukuan justice. He is a dangerous, quiet kind of handsome.  A monster dressed  up in a nice long sleeve dress shirt and black slacks held up but a brown leather belt. You wonder what the product he uses to slick back his hair smells like?

 Pinned down by the King of Curses glare you feel like you can’t do a thing but stare back like a doe caught in the headlight. A flush crawls up the back on you neck when  the eye contact become too prolonged .

Ok.... maybe Mei-Mei was right, you admit to yourself.

Sukuna breaks eye contact looking down at his watch. 9 a.m. on the dot.

"Alright, " his authoritve voice echoes in the lecture hall grabbing everyone's attention. "You know who I am, I won't care who you are until you prove you worth my time. You all are adults with what I hope is enough sense to read over the syllabus on your own time."

He unbuttons his cuff links. You swallow thickly as he rolls them up his think forearms. Two thick bands circle each wrist that are the same color as the sharp markings on his face. And peeking out the front of his shirt.

"And with that, we're going to go ahead and get into lecturer."

the flurried sounds of people digging to something to write opening their laptops and adjusting their seats. You click your ink pen. This was to be expected. You had done your research before deciding to enroll in the Curse Theory with Professor Sukuna. You read all his reviews on Rate My Professor. Students had a lot of cons about his classes and the only pro was his tendency to end class early. You had even managed to speak to a few who had managed to pass his class. They all agreed against taking his class. It was an elective for the jujutsu sorcery program. You could have gone your whole four years without taking it.

But something that each person and review noted was what they were learning. Professor Sukuna was one of the leading experts on curse theory. He had such a deep understanding of curse energy and how it works that it would be such a missed opportunity to not take this class.

You just had to be brave enough and smart enough to not drop out....or fail.

Your hand cramps from jolting down so many notes. You are thankful for the 15-minute break. As Sukuan erases everything he had bothered writing on the board you pay a little too much attention to his back flexes under his dress shirt as he goes about doing so.  A sudden chill runs down your spine.

Fuck he’s so big, he could just fall over onto oh my and I’d go SPLAT

It doesn’t take much for you mind jumping form Sukuan falling over and killing you, to being on top of you , to having a lot less clothes while on top of you. You  tear your eyes away and reach for your water bottle. Your clumsy finger pushes  it off your desk. You watch with your heart in your stomach as the hydro flask clanks and clangs down the steps of the lecture hall.

Professor Sukuna’s red eyes are back on you the next second a a water bottle covered cutesy stickers stops at his feet. His eyes look down at the water bottle, then back up at your horrified expression. He takes this as an opportunity to confront the foolish girl who possess the gull to prance into his class.

You watch as the professor reaches down, grabs your water bottle, and makes his way up the steps in slow even strides to your seat.

The sound the water bottle makes as he slams it down on the desk quiets the students who decide to stay in the lecture hall for their short break.

Sukuna leans in close getting into your personal space and dominating it as his own. His eyes, that's all you can see of the professor. A red so deep you can get lost in them in the worst way. Like a never-ending nightmare you  would not want to wake from.

What is wrong with me?

"Do not let it happen again," he warns.

"Y-yes sir," you nod.

Sir, Sukuna likes that. Many students have called him such in the same fearful tone. But this is the first time he suppresses a smile when a student does so.

You let out a breath you did not realize that you were holding in as Sukuan stands back up to his full height. He still stares at you, making you feel so small and vulnerable, but you refuse to wither and die under his gaze. That was for the leaves and you are no leaf trebling in the wind.

"What are you even doing here?"

The corner of your lips twitches. You have spent so long having to fight for your spot in the Jujutsu Sorcery program that you can tell when someone is mocking you.

"I'm here to learn curse theory to apply to my research."

That mean smirk spreads across Sukuna’s face. Oh, this one has some bite.

"You barely have any curse energy yourself. Those old fools are losing their wits if they let you into the program,” He announces to the whole class.

you look the last bit unphased continue to smile, " I am aware of my curse energy. your point professor?"

"Weaklings don't last long in my class, fool," he forewarns.

You watch as Sukuan turns his back on you and makes his way to the front of the class. This was not at all new to you. The names, the looks,  and the assumption have become common place shortly after you began university. You have developed a pretty thick mask to hide yourself behind over the past few years. You usually try to ignore people like Sukuna. You motto has been keep you head down and go on. But there is just something about Professor Sukuan that really got under your skin. Sparking a need to prove yourself further and to stand out amongst the rest your cohort.

"Alright," he announces taking his place at of the front of the  lecture hall. His eyes scan over the seats filled with students. Picking out those that are now empty. "The first part of the class is the lecturer, and the second part is applying what you learn though discussion. Which you all will be graded on."

Sukuna’s eyes land back on you. He is not sure why his attention was drawn back to you. he is not as all pleased with what he sees. You are flipping back through your notebook looking over all the shorthand notes you had taken while other students around you are put into a panic. You are looking forward to class discussion as is a way you can prove yourself to the curse.

When you look up back towards the front of the class Sukuna sees a spark in your eyes he wants to watch die.

"You, the clumsy girl,” the professor singles you out. He won't bother to learn your name unless you prove to be worth his time and energy teaching you. "Reverse curse technique, explain it to me."

You feel your heart drop to your stomach again as the curse waits for you to answer. His expression looks bored and uninterested in what you might  have to say, but those eyes. Sukuna stares you down making suppress of tremble of excitement. You …like it? you like the way the curse stares at you like he is challenging you to dare to even speak in his presence.

"The way I think of it is like algebra. Multiply two negatives to make a positive but it’s something easier said than done since most sorcerers aren't used to using cruse energy this way."

Sukuan has to admit he is a bit impressed that you seem to have a good grasp on the concept, and you speak so confidently in front of him, but he doesn't let it show. "Now dumb it down for those who are looking as clueless as newborn babes."

"So, you basically take two different sources of cursed energy and multiply them against themselves. And on top of that you'll need to do so by using your brain, not your gut like we’re all used to using when it comes to cursed techniques."

"We’re all,” Sukuan mocks. “Just because you have a good understanding of basic curse techniques does not make you a sorceress. “

His jaw clenches when you smile at him. That was not meant as a damn complement.

You cannot help but to smile. You did not make a complete fool of yourself and actually got something that Sukuna deemed worthy as right in his ancient mind.

"You with the annoying bright hoodie, what's it used for?"

a guy from the last few back rows of the class in a highlighter yellow hoodie answers in confidence," Healing, sir."

Sukuan rolls his eye. Of course, a Zennin brat has confidence but no brain. “Useless, ” his eyes shifted away from the gawking man and back to you. "Water bottle girl.”

  Your back tenses up all over again. Professor Sukuan glares at you, waiting for you to answer, looking like he wants to eat you alive. You want to crawl under the table and hide form his gaze.

"Well, it can be used for healing...but at its core RCT is the opposite of cursed technique. So, in theory, instead of energy that destroys RTC is energy that can create," you click your pen you have something to fidget with. "I feel like this is where the difficulties in wielding RTC come in because in order to use it to heal you first would have to have a deep and précised understanding of how the human body works on a cellular level. You can't just go on slapping skin cells over a cut and call it healed."

"But" yellow hoodie cuts in trying to redeem himself. "If you can just visual the cut being healed that should suffice."

"Silence,” Sukuan demands not bothering to look his way. His red eye are still trained on you much to your chagrin .

You turn in your seat to look back at the man which Sukuan finds annoying for some reason. "That can work, but that's like having fleshy cotton stuffed into a cut. If it's a small wound I guess it can work, but when you start to get into more serious injuries like cuts that get  into muscle and bone - or even a major blood supply you have to be able to visualize all the working components of a human body to properly heal them."

"She has a point," A girl sitting in the same row as you  hums tapping her Apple pen against her glossy lip in thought. Sukuna finds himself sucking on a sharp canine in annoyance  when your attention is now on her instead of fretfully looking at him. "Sure, it's easy to visualize a wound being healed, but then you got to manipulate the positive energy you've created to create what it takes to heal the wound."

"Well, at least some of you know the basics," Sukuna comments letting his eye linger on you until moving on to the rest of the class. " So, let's get into the theory of that."

If you think that Sukuna moves on to interrogating the next poor soul with such intensity, you are sorely mistaken. In his defense, the curse does not mean to keep singling you out. The faces you make whenever he calls you by that horrid nickname never fail to amuse him. Plus, you are far more entertain to converse with.

by the end of class, you let out a breath and finally let your shoulder relax.. Before Sukuna dismissed everyone to flee from the lecturer hall he assigned the first assessment of the semester; a two-page paper on today's topic, RTC, printed. He does not waste his time with modern technology.

"Water bottle girl!"

you nearly jump out of your skin and end up almost dropping your water bottle again. Sukuan rolls his eyes. He is mostly annoyed with himself for being so intrigued by such a weakling.

"What's your name?"

your chest does an odd little flutter, and you forget to stop from smiling.

Sukuan hates it.

"Y/N, sir," you answer.

" Well Y/N, wipe that look off your face and get out of my lecture hall."

­­___

"And then he told me to get out,"  you finish recounting your morning class over a late dinner at the university's cafeteria.

Shoko hums stabbing at her salad, "So not a bad first day."

"Wow," Mei-Mei agrees with a nod. "Look at you’re becoming a teacher's favorite so quickly, our little overachiever."

you stifle a laugh, "Please. I felt like I was being interrogated the second part of the class. I could barely breathe."

"So... do you think-" Before Utahime can finish her question another voice cuts her off.

"Heyy Untahahiimeee~"

Satoru Gojo, not only the Jujutsu sorcery program but the entire jujitsu world’s progeny , sling an arm around the women. Being born with both the six eyes and the limitless technique of the Gojo clan, good looks, and a charming persona Gojo was one of the most popular students here at the university. If Sukuna was thought to be a devil by some then Gojo was their god.

"Gojo," Utahime grumbles. “ Get. Off.”

"We heard Y/N's taking one of Sukuna's classes this semester," and wherever Gojo was Geto was bound to be close by.

"Hi, Geto," you greet the dark-haired man with an easy wave that he returns.

Suguru Geto ranks right up there with Gojo  in terms of the strongest. Very much like the white-haired man Geto was handsome and his calm, laid back personality attracted just as many  people like Gojo’s confident, snarky demeaner did. Unlike Gojo and more like yourself however Geto was not form a sorcery family

You know the two-star students mostly through Shoko, the three being friends since high school. Though sometimes, from the way the two seemed so close, you wonder if there was something deeper than friendship between the two man.

"So," Gojo shakes Utahime’s shoulder as if it were your own. “How’d it go?"

"Good? I'm still going on Wednesday."

"Really?" both Utahime and Gojo asked in union both carrying that same note of concern.

you pop a fry in your mouth to letting the salty taste subdue your anger subside before speaking, "Yeah, I think I can do it. I like the way that he seems to want us to push ourselves to think outside of what's been traditionally taught to us."

"But this the Ryomen Sukuna. Don’t you find that a little daunting having to be in the same room as him twice a week?" Geto asks.

"Yes, he's terrifying,” You agree. " But come on guys, have a little faith in my capabilities."

"Well, if anyone could keep up with that hellish course load it would be Y/N," Shoko points out. "Just don't go doing that thing you do when you take on more than you can handle."

"I'm getting better at it..." You mumble.

You have had the need to be an overachiever and deep down you know it was your way of making up for what little cursed energy you possessed. If you cannot prove yourself with a curse technique or master over curse energy then you will through your knowledge. Sure, Gojo and Geto had powerful curse techniques, Utahime could make any curse technique more powerful, and Shoko's control over RCT made one of the best healers of their class, but you were the one who put in hours and hours to understand how that all worked.

Later after dinner, you stay up past 12 to get to work on your paper for Sukuna's class. The assignment is pretty open ended , he just wanted a 2-page paper over what you all had discussed in class, the reverse curse technique. It should be easy, if this was an easy class and Sukuan was just any other professor in the Jujitsu program. Dyslexia isn’t making it any easier.

Just the first class you can tell that Sukuna does not want some generic paper over the inner workings of RCT that you could pump out in a few hours. No, he wants the students to delve into theoretical territory, and honesty that is exciting to you.

Becoming a great Jujustu Soccer was a lot of learning the basics then applying that to  your own technique and refining said technique to a lethal degree. This is what you wanted to take curse theory. You want to spend more time on the basics part. In this class, Sukuna is pushing students build on existing knowledge and go beyond what is known. To use the exciting knowledge ponded into everyone’s head during freshman year, for some student like Gojo since childhood, and build upon it to reach something new.

Said Curse was also up this late. He lays in his  California King bed staring to at the ceiling of a just as big house. The higher-ups paid him well to behave.

He cannot get that weak girl out of his head. The way you came into class,  and that pretty bow bounced with each step as you walked down the steps to take a seat before him. The way you look so terrified the whole class, just like the rest of those maggots....so what made you the one to wiggle you way into his mind?

Once of the curse’s four hands idly trail up and down his stomach, tracing the ink marking near his hip. In the privacy of his home, he dropped his human form and let himself relax in his true form. Over the years he has found that humans tend to be easier to deal with when confronted with something of the same shapes as them.

 His thoughts wonder to how he can crush your spirt. Somone like you did not belong in the world of Jujutsu Sorcery. He is suspiring you have lived this long. Sukuna does not care how smart you are, he just wants to rid himself of you.

How cute she’ll look in tears, terrified before me…below me?

from his bedside table his phone buzzes. One of his bottoms hands reaches out for it. Although it is tinier in his true form hand, he can still use it. Tapping his screen to life he sees it is an email from the dean Yaga to all professors.

 Opening the email and reading over it an excited smile stretches over his face, "How interesting."

[arabellachant]

hold me like a knife. v.

aegon targaryen x lannister!oc. aemond targaryen x lannister!oc.

warnings: language, underage drinking, targcest, infidelity (from almost everyone), allusions to sex, religious guilt, mysoginy, pregnancy and childbirth, possible grammar mistakes (english is not my first language)

words: 3.1k

As king Viserys II decreed, the prince Aegon and princess Helaena would be wed by the end of the season in a ceremony open to the small folk. All of the royal family and the main houses of Westeros were invited to the celebration. Rumours dared to say princess Rhaenyra would not attend it.

For the months prior to the wedding, Elora stayed in the Red Keep. Hopefully her presence could force the younger prince out of his hiding, or so was thought. During her time there, the girl did her best in tending to the queen and princess, slowly but surely finding a way into their affections. On more than one occasion, she found herself being the one to offer them comfort during preparations, for the truth was, no one seemed truly pleased with the decision. Alicent and Helaena were in a constant state of distress, one drowning in emotion and the other running from it. Soon, the embroidery sessions became a frequent routine for the women, a refreshing moment of peace away from the prying eyes from the men from court. In time, the young lady stopped worrying about the rejection from her groom, finding joy in the occasions when she was only accompanied by the queen and princess, and life in King’s Landing became merrier.

To her at least.

The prince Aegon seemed to grow more miserable by the day, becoming increasingly harder to find him sober. If Helaena did not agree to the idea of marriage, he surely despised it. Even teasing Elora did not give him the contempt it used to, and eventually he stopped searching for her at all.

Aegon gone. Aemond gone. To her the dragon princes became ghosts too, and she wouldn't have minded if they stayed like that.

***

The first time she heard the deafening sound of Vhagar’s wings crossing the skies, Elora had sworn a hurricane was upon them. By the tenth time, it was a bitter reminder of the boy that refused to meet her. The girl didn’t bother to go near the Dragon Pit to encounter him, knowing he would evade any attempt she made at conversation with him, and she had endured too much of his humiliation to care for his company again. The lady stayed in her rooms, imagining Aemond going back to his solitary self-imposed confinement, hiding from the sight of any and everyone that tries to get close. She could picture it already. The young prince, sinking in self pity, harshly sending away the poor servant that goes to call him for supper, his chair empty during another meal.

And yet, the strangest thing happened, a soft knock on her door. Not from the prince, but from a maid, bringing with her a vase.

“My lady.” The woman excuses herself into the bedroom, carrying the small vessel where a single wild lily is placed. “The prince Aemond sent this to you.” She carefully places it on the vanity, the flower looking eerily delicate between the jewels.

Elora was at a loss of words. Weeks of silence and now this? What could he possibly mean by that? An apology? A mockery of her situation in the palace? There was a time she believed she understood his feelings, but that was before.

Her silence seemed to be enough of an answer for the servant, as she began making her way out. “Wait.” Elora called back, unable to take her eyes off the white petals like silk. “Did he send a message also?” He had to. He couldn't send only a flower, she needed more.

“No, my lady.” The woman looked remorseful, probably sensing the girl’s disappointment.

“He returned to his rooms?” Elora’s question wasn’t more than a whisper, the flower sitting in her vanity as a token of how she was ignored. 

The maid bowed further, keeping her pitiful eyes to the floor. “Yes, my lady.”

No word, no visit, only a small lily. That was all she had from Aemond in over a moon’s time. The girl sent the servant away with a wave from her hand, her eyes hypnotised by the delicate blossom. So much more than the prince had offered in so long and yet not nearly enough.

It was this inconsistency that drove her out of her chambers, down multiple corridors and to stand outside Aemond’s door. The hard wood being the one thing keeping her away from him for what felt like an eternity. She considered knocking, but she knew that would only give him the chance to send her away, to lock the door before she could reach for the handle. Putting aside all the good manners her father forced on her, Elora pushed the door open and barged in, not caring about excusing herself or giving Aemond any warning of her intrusion.

The prince had already changed from his riding clothes, now only in a comfortable shirt, his loose hair falling over his face. The left side of his face was covered in bandages, the cloth the same colour as his pale complexion, his single eye wide in panic.

“What are you doing here?” He hissed, tossing aside all the kindness the girl remembered, his left hand hiding his injuries out of instinct.

The question startled Elora, and to her it was like she was in a dream, walking in her sleep only to wake in his room. On any other day such a thought would make her embarrassed, but now she had decided there was something greater than her reputation. “A flower?” Her tone was childish, a mix of anger and incredulity.

Aemond looked puzzled, his brow furrowed as he searched for an explanation in her expression. Noticing his confusion, she walked to where he was and forcefully placed the vase on a table, the lily dancing from the movement. “Weeks of silence and this is the first thing I get from you?”

If the one-eyed prince was pale, he now looked translucent, his lilac iris glued to the pure flower. His mouth opened and closed a few times, his mind working to come up with the right words, the first ones after so long. “I imagined you’d like it.” He finally whispered, a silver curtain covering half of his face as he took a careful step back.

“I would prefer to have a word with you.” She stepped forward, not letting him flee from her this time. “To be allowed to meet you as we did before.” Her words carried a heavy grief, the memory of the boy she met not so long ago had turned into a sorrowful one.

“‘Before” was long ago…” He gruffed a response, fully turning away to return to his armchair.

“Before your scar, you mean?” Elora crossed his chambers to stand in front of him, all semblance to her practised politeness gone.

A dark cloud came down in the room, the roars of the wind too loud to let anything else be heard. The silence between those children, who used to be so close, was now suffocating. A warm and thick atmosphere engulfing them and sticking to their skin, forcing them to be too aware of their situation. There was no more sparkle between them, no space to bloom. “What do you want?” His question, although dry, was not as bitter as his previous words.

“To see you.” The girl whispered, taking a careful step forwards.

“I am here.”

“Not truly.” The physical distance between them diminished, and for once Aemond didn’t move back. Yet, he seemed to be whole galaxies away.

His brows creased, for once he considered putting down his barriers, but he would not be vulnerable again, not with her. “Where else can I be?”

“Driftmark.” Her tone was both firm and gentle, testing just how much she could push him. “Many moons ago.” She considered closing the gap between them, taking his hand and shouting that she felt sorry for what happened to him, that it didn’t matter what he looked like, only that he loved her. She said nothing else, the prince wouldn’t let her.

“I’m certain that may worry you very much, my lady.” His face turned away, a pearly curtain keeping him hidden from her sight.

She was now considering slapping him. “Do you truly think so little of me? That a scar would change my judgement over you?” Her voice trembled, her face slowly contorting into a painful scowl.

“It might if that’s the face you’ll be forced to see every day.” Aemond’s answer came without any thought, an instinctive snarl to anyone who got too close. After a moment, he returned to a stoic act. “I would understand if it changed something for you. I am changed because of it.”

“No.” Her tone was disbelief, shock, anger, refusal. Whiny enough to sound like it came from a common girl.

“No?” The prince scoffed, rolling his eye at her.

“No, that’s not what’s changed.” Elora spoke firmly, striding over the room to stand right in front of him. “It’s not your face, it’s you.” In a defiant instinct, she carefully moved his hair away from his face, looking at him for the first time in so long. The lady sucked in a breath, shocked by the thin, deep line running from his temple to his cheekbone. The violet iris replaced by a dark void.

Her shock was just not bigger than the prince’s itself. Quickly, slapping her hand away to cover his scarred face. His pale complexion now giving space to the deep hue of shame.

“Do you truly think I care so much about what you look like?” The girl murmured, tearing up at such a violent reaction from him.

Aemond turned away from her, taking slow steps further into the room. No answer came. Elora understood none would come at all, and that confirmed what she needed to know.

Curtsying to the prince’s back, she stormed out of the room, making sure to close the door as loudly as she could despite the reactions she could receive. If Aemond had decided he thought the worst of her, what did it matter if she tried to be better?

And the servants nearby would have probably been distraught by her behaviour if they weren’t so occupied by trying to get prince Aegon back into his chambers. His pale hair dishevelled, simple clothes dirty and tainted with wine, an inebriated smile plastered on his face as he struggled to even stand straight. Elora’s mouth hung open at the sight, the boy having to be escorted by a couple guards as his feets dragged over the floor with his weak protests.

“Sister!” He yelled once he had a glimpse of her, pushing away the poor servants as he stumbled in her direction. The girl’s nostrils were filled with the stench of alcohol as he loosely draped his arms over her shoulders, his embrace keeping him somewhat upright. “Aemond’s little bride…” He slurred his words, clinging to her figure as he slipped onto the ground again.

She was frozen with the scene in front of her, the two guards apologising profusely as they tried to untangle his arms from her. “It’s alright, really…” She murmured more out of politeness, trying to disguise just how distressed she was with the prince’s touch. “What happened?”

“The prince was out drinking again, my lady.” The men bowed as they finally took hold of Aegon again. “We must return him back to his rooms.” Their voices sounded embarrassed, tired, but not surprised.

The girl scanned over the strange trio again, her mind in deep thought as she saw the carefree smile on the boy’s face. The expression of someone that doesn’t have to worry about a single thing, who can afford to escape and drink his weight in wine while others had to stress over his own wedding. Sighing heavily, she opened the way for the men to pass, nodding for them to continue.

“Aenara.” The prince’s voice echoed in the hallway after just a few steps away from the lady, struggling to turn in her way again.

She looked at him with furrowed brows, gazing at his crooked smile, the cracks of his lips, how sunken his face looked in comparison to what she remembered. Letting out a long exhale, she met his eyes again, taking in the lilac shimmer of his irises, how his face flushed with colour with her small acknowledgement. And there it was, the same mischievous challenge he had been to her so many times before, and for once she knew she wouldn’t win. 

With an immediate regret, she stepped closer to the guards. “Wait!” She called out, quickening her approach to stand in front of them. “I’ll accompany you.” She muttered shy, looking to the carpet beneath her feet, before turning around and leading them across the palace.

A million thoughts swirled in her head, trying to come up with an acceptable excuse to why she was helping that boy, the same one she tried so much to avoid. An awkward silence followed them over multiple corridors, interrupted only by Aegon’s incoherent babbling, his fits of giggles almost making her curious. An eternity had passed before they reached the heavy doors of his chambers’, and the lady let out a sigh of relief that her odd task was over.

The guards threw the prince onto his bed without much care, bowing heavily to the girl, who stood uneasy by the door, unable to not notice the layer of sweat that started to form over the boy’s body. “This should be enough, my lady. We will inform the queen that the prince is back.” The men spoke with some concern.

Inform the queen. Bother Alicent with another problem, one that laid right in front of her. “No.” She shook her head, carefully entering the room, keeping her eyes fixed on the unconscious prince. “There’s no need for that. I’ll tend to him.” With a sway of her hand, the guards were gone, and she was alone in Aegon’s room. Alone with him.

She tried to convince herself it was an act of charity that forced her to stay. A way to ease poor queen Alicent’s troubles in such a stressful time. But the truth was she didn’t know. Why she didn’t keep her eyes away, why she didn’t turn her back on him, why she followed him into this place. 

Fearing what answer she would find if she thought too hard over it, Elora forced herself away from the door, cautiously approaching the bed. The girl stood confused by the headboard, looking down to the feverish boy in his drunken slumber. She didn’t really know how to tend to someone in such a state, much less how to get him out of it. She did, however, know how to wake someone after they had passed out.

Filling a glass with some water, she splashed the prince without warning, watching how he got soaked with the cold water. If it had sobered him up, she did not know, but he surely made him more aware.

“What the- what are you doing?” His voice cracked as he yelled at her, fruitlessly trying to dry his face with the sleeves of his shirt.

“Making sure you’re still breathing.” Her response was far more playful than she had intended, not holding in a shy chuckle at how his face burned red with bewilderment.

“By trying to drown me?” The boy didn’t seem to share her humour at the situation, sitting up as he wiped his face. 

Her laughter grew louder, and she covered her face with her hands to hide the true extent of her amusement. “Oh please, it was a glass of water, your highness. There are far more stressful things.” She eyed over his distraught expression, almost scoffing at how bothered he looked by one teasing. 

“Truly? Such as…” He asked with a smug look, his eyes beaming as he expected to win another match against her.

“Planning a wedding.” Her eyes narrowed  as she dared to bite back at him, partially hoping to bother him enough to force him to care about the effort everyone else was putting into it.

The prince’s expression fell immediately, a dark semblant glossing his eyes. Still, a smirk curled his lips, a cruel scoff leaving them. “Yes, my wedding, such a merry occasion.” His tone dripped of sarcasm, and he fell back on the mattress covering his face with his arms to ignore the girl.

“Yes. Your wedding.” She forcefully pulled his arms away from his face, all amusement replaced by pent up anger as she watches how quickly he dismisses the subject. “The one that has been tormenting your mother and sister for ages, and which you seem to not care at all.”

He sat up again, looking into her eyes with a matching fire, for once looking like he was fully there. “Sorry if I’m not ecstatic about the arrangement, my lady…” Aegon hissed at her, the heat of the alcohol irradiating off his body. “But I would rather not be married.”

Elora withdrew from him, suddenly intimidated by his piercing gaze. “Don’t act like you’re suffering.” She whispers automatically, not having the time to think before the words spilled out of her. “Not when Helaena’s fate is far worse.” Clenching her jaw, she took back her stance, letting her fury reign over her uncertainty.

“Helaena’s fate?” The prince snapped at her, his eyes turning red with rage as he stood tall in front of her. “Why her fate? What of mine?” His voice was choked as he spoke, and for a split second he looked anguished, looking down to her like a tortured man. “Why does everyone seem to forget I am as much of a victim in this?”

The lady kept his gaze, her lips trembling as she tried to think of a response. ‘Because you’re the man’, ‘because you’re a prince’, because you don’t care’. She considered saying all these things to him. But in reality, how could she? 

Aegon didn’t have a say in the matter. He was not much older than herself, and in this moment, he didn’t look like a prince. Looking in his eyes, he looked scared. Mirroring the same agony that had plagued her mind ever since she was sent to the Red Keep.

Instead she said nothing, taking a step back as she lowered her head. “Clean yourself.” She whispered, trying to ignore the bitter guilt that grew in her chest. “I’ll not tell the queen about tonight. Good bye, my prince.” She bowed to him and left.

Aegon stood there for many minutes after he was alone, staring at the door like she was just behind the wood. But she didn’t come back to apologise. After the darkness slipped into the room, he went to sleep.

@targaryendestiel

[savingsallow]

*inhales & slams open the door*

HI ITS ME!! GIMME:

1. Who fell first? Who fell harder?

6. Who would ask the "would you love me if I were a worm?" question? How would their S/O answer?

9. If there wasnt enough seats, how would they sit? One on the other's lap? One on the armrest? One on the floor in front of them?

13. What is something they find hot about their S/O?

21. Who typically tends to initiate intimacy first (this can be a conversation, action or anything)?

29. What's an insecurity they hold about their relationship?

51. Are there any characters who ship them? 89. Would they ever consider marriage?

For Valreth thank you 🫡🤍🫵🏻

AAAA IT'S BESTIE! 😏🤭 love the dramatic entrance ❤️‍🔥

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(1) WHO FELL FIRST? WHO FELL HARDER?

garreth definitely fell first, that's for sure!

as for val, once she realized her heart beats for garreth, well.. girl fell HARD

then as they spend more time together after hogwarts, it's safe to say that both fell for the other really bad. so bad it's good 🤪✨

(6) THE "WORM" QUESTION 🪱

despite val needing more emotional comfort, garreth is the one who often went along with the random wave of insecurity hole.

i can imagine garreth asking this to val, and she goes like "then you'll be my favorite worm". then garreth hitting her with the "but you hate worms".

she'd most likely shushed him like this emoji 🤫 and say something like "i hate idiots but i love you". then proceeds to burst out a quick hearty laugh and cuddles him 🫂

(9) HOW WOULD THEY SIT IF THERE AREN'T ENOUGH SEATS?

they both offer the other to take the seat, but it ends up with val getting the seat while garreth just sits on the floor.

OR

garreth would sit first and give her the look 👀 and val, this kid won't even hesitate to sit on the added layer of the 'chair'.

(13) FINDS HOT ABOUT THEIR PARTNER

good question! 😏

val: beside his good looks, she has always been *secretly* a sucker for his chaotic dumbass energy. it's garreth's passion for doing what he loves (potion-making) and his perseverance that makes val go 😳✨

that and what he looks like while he makes them potions 🤪

garreth: despite him worrying a lot about val's 'adventures', he does find it hot that she can take care of herself and *coughs* the disheveled look after combating merlin knows who or what.

(21) INITIATE INTIMACY FIRST

garreth being garreth. naturally, he initiates intimacy first! whether it's a conversation, action, etc., garreth always makes the first move! which is surprising, even for val 😳

(29) INSECURITY THEY HOLD ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP

val can't help but dwell sometimes on the fact that her family doesn't really like garreth at all. knowing the blacks, they'd prefer someone from a higher standing in society type of partner for her.

as for garreth, sometimes he thinks that he's not good enough for val.

(51) CHARACTERS THAT SHIP THEM

npc wise, natty and nellie are their biggest supporters!

as for her mc friends, i think alyn @ps-cactus & tori @espressoristretto-patronum ships them! and also cass @acslytherpuff (yours 🤭) but more of secretly shipping them 🤪. guys correct me if i'm wrong 🤣🫶🏻✨

(89) MARRIAGE

yes!!! they're both open to the idea :D

although, i must admit that i haven't worked out this part yet 😅 but they'll definitely get married in their late 20s.

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— i hope you enjoyed reading this! ❤️‍🔥

[stormdragon23]

Choi Jong-In Character Analysis

We'll stick to five different things for now (because this post got long)

Choi Jong-In's vision

Jong-In doesn't like bright lights. It might be because of that firecracker that went off in his face before (according to the dossier from the game), but I wonder if it hinders him when he's hunting in closed spaces other than the fact that fire is just dangerous in such places

I'm also curious if he wears the glasses to help with the brightness since they seem tinted and tend to reflect light a lot, but both could be because of the art style.

The lenses on his glasses seem rather thick, so it's either to help him with bright places or his vision really is just that bad. He's probably blind without them either way though-

2. Choi Jong-In's age

If Jong-In got his passport when he turned 18 and just renewed it, he’s probably around 28 at the youngest since he might have gotten his passport when he was older. He could have renewed it earlier than that, but no one does that- (at least not more than a year before it expires)

This also means that Jongin might have been around 18 when the gates first appeared though he didn’t know he awakened until around six years later according to the game dossier. This means he was probably around 24 by the time he knew he was awakened (although he actually awakened earlier without noticing)

3. Choi Jong-In's leadership skills

Jong-In seemed to assume the role of leader during the raid by making sure the others would be safe and efficiently clearly obstacles that made it harder for them to get to the queen. This was interesting considering there were three other guild masters there (and likely with more experience based on Jong-In awakening six years after the gates appeared, whereas Lim Tae-Gyu and Baek Yoon-Ho awakened soon after the gates appeared). While the reason could be because of how versatile his powers are, he appeared to naturally make the first move rather than let someone else try their idea or wait for someone to ask him what they should do

He also explains what he’s doing calmly to the other hunters. While this could just be for the readers to know what he’s doing, he doesn’t make any rude comments to anyone. Like when Baek Yoon-Ho asked what he was doing, Jong-In explained how the explosions from the fire would show where the queen was. It could be argued that the two were too busy to be arguing like usual, but Yoon-Ho and Min Byung-Gyu were bantering quite a bit as they were making their way inside

Jong-In also knows how to make Yoon-Ho mad as seen throughout the series, so he’s actively not picking a fight when he certainly could have at this point when they weren’t fighting the ants yet. It could be that Jong-In’s too focused on the raid despite his calm demeanor, or he knows it would distract Yoon-Ho too much as he’s very capable of reading Yoon-Ho’s body language

4. Choi Jong-In's perceptiveness

Yoon-Ho is the one Jong-In tends to read the most in terms of body language and emotions, so this part will mostly be about Jong-In reading Yoon-Ho

While Jong-In knew exactly why Yoon-Ho was at the building, he didn't indicate that he figured it out other than his usual smile. He's good at drawing conclusions based on what he observes and reacts in a way that prevents others from knowing what he's thinking. (This might be why Yoon-Ho dislikes him as he knows how well Jong-In can read him)

When the other major guilds were glad that Sung Jin-Woo was no longer taking gates, Jong-In found it suspicious rather than being glad that his guild could get more gates. Jong-In seems to question why things happen and how they work. This was shown in the game dossier when he wanted to test his powers before finding out his rank and ended up burning down a whole building

Despite Yoon-Ho making a provoking comment, Jong-In either knows that Yoon-Ho is avoiding the question and chooses to ignore it or knows that's just Yoon-Ho's way of answering him. In either case, Jong-In understands him enough to try to help him

Side note: Yoon-Ho tends to be the one to start arguments with Jong-In, making Jong-In defend himself

5. Choi Jong-In's self-confidence

While Jong-In seems like he would be an arrogant person, especially with his title, there are actually more moments of Jong-In being aware of his limits rather than being overconfident

When he first heard about Jin-Woo's powers, he believed what Son Ki-Hoon said and immediately understood that Jin-Woo was much stronger than him, compared to Thomas Andre or Hwang Dong-Soo who refused to believe it at first

Jong-In is also aware of how much damage he is capable of as shown throughout the Jeju raid. After assessing how strong the flying ants were, he was confident enough to jump off the helicopter to take care of the ants below alone. However, he did not take the same risk when the S-Ranks entered the anthill as he did not know what would be ahead

That's all for Choi Jong-In in this post, but I do plan on making another one about him. If anyone has specific things they want to hear, feel free to ask for them. If you made it this far, have this picture of Jong-In

He's so precious

[edbloves]

https://www.tumblr.com/edbloves/756325201665458176/is-it-rough-on-buck-and-bucky-when-grace-first

hi ok i was stalking u after reading the new chapter (literally SO good it made me so happy and emotional like ugh it was just so sweet) and after reading the linked ask, i’m curious as to how the buckies handle discipline, because they both seem to be such softies with her so i wonder if it takes them a while to work it out. when she first starts acting out is it all too new for them to do much other than panic? or do they try things like time outs? and then once it all settles down, if she ever does do something dangerous or that she isn’t supposed to do (more normal child behaviour as opposed to acting out due to trauma) how do they handle it? is there one of them that’s better at it or do they both struggle? because from some of ur responses to asks i get the sense that gale is the one who stays firm when things NEED to get done (such as the shots) but he also has the fear of being like his dad 🤨 so i’m curious!

Hiiii thanks for these excellent questions <3 (I love that you loved the new chapter thank you so much!!)

The short answer is that absolutely yes, they struggle and they struggle hard. Between their insecurities and newness to being parents and general anxiety over everything, they both worry that disciplining her will end terribly on all fronts. Particularly, for Gale, while John is in withdrawal and he has no choice but to constantly telling her no, he tends to worry that she's forming bad associations with him in her head, so once John is recovered, he has a hard time telling her no in the beginning.

John on the other hand, is straight up just ready to do anything she wants. His little girl wants something? He'll turn the earth around in orbit to get it for her. In theory, both of them understand that they have to give her boundaries and rules and let her test them, and that it's part of growing up and experiencing the way the world works, but the reality of practicing that is much harder. Both of them think of how awful and traumatic losing her mother was for her, and want to spare her any more suffering even though that is not how the world works.

Once they are more comfortable in their parental roles, they both can manage to be serious about handling situations where she knowingly acts out or crosses lines, but Gale is generally better at it. John can do it, his resolve just breaks faster, and sometimes he is the one getting into mischief with her. Gale does stay firmer than John, absolutely, and it takes him a while to reconcile that just because he is having to set boundaries with her, doesn't mean he will become his father. John (and even Marge) help him understand that sometimes, not doing so, does more of disservice to her in the long run. And it also differs based on how it's done - Gale's father and him have VERY different parenting styles to say the least.

I don't think they're too much into things like timeout's and the like, but rather trying to help her understand the consequences that follow poor actions. Putting her alone in a corner would exacerbate her fears of being alone and left behind, and they work diligently to assuage those fears, so they would be hesitant to try anything that might hinder that progress.

The whole process is extremely hard and exhausting for them, and for the first while they worry that they're not good enough or cut out to look after her. Eventually, they settle into their routine that works for them, though.

Thanks for the ask!! Ok, I'm off to bed ... look forward to replying to more tomorrow <3

[empressofdiamonds]

Desiring love from someone that [negative emotion] you, aka HOW TO NOT BE A MOPEY P*CKME

You want to be loved. But it shouldn't go at the sacrifice of dignity. Your dignity.

3 chapters: Lack of Interest, What To Do, How to Avoid Next Time

Signs of lack of interest (aka "he's not that into you")

Doesn't asks questions to you, even well into the relationship.

Lacks observance of you. Isn't proactive. He won't try to ancitipate difficulties and try to make your life easier.

You feel your life is now a bit harder than it used to be.

Doesn't do services, care. You don't feel pampered.

You tend to lead the conversations. (it should be the opposite)

You try to fill in the awkward uncomfortable silences.

You try to "win back" the initial sparkling feeling you had at the beginning, in any ways. You go out of the way to win that back (unbalanced efforts, you put in way more effort, much more than you would normally do).

You tend to become self-conscious ("What if it's my looks/weight/teeth/manners/what if I'm boring?"), assuming it's your doing. Don't worry I'm sure you're fine as you are bestie <3

You don't meet his friends, his family.

And if you do, he doesn't hypes you up facing them (p.ex."Here is my beautiful girlfriend Moira").

RED FLAG: His friends/family aren't that interested in knowing you (Sign you're "yet another girl").

He doesn't listens to your needs or desires. If you say you don't like gold jewelry, and he buys you gold.... Or if you say you don't like mushrooms at all and he brings a huge mushroom bechamel pizza home.... Run.

You feel he answers more to his own desires than yours.

You feel alone in the relationship.

You aren't sure he will have your back in extreme situations. (If you do, GIRLIE WAKE UP)

You feel some shame at the thought of showing him to your family or friends.

He doesn't do the "good morning/good night" texts. And if he does, you don't feel giggly.

After encounters with him you don't feel energized or happy, but rather depressive, down, sad, guilty, regretful, etc.

You find yourself engaging in abnormal behavior patterns. Stress induced behavior, your behavior towards other other than him changes.

You tend to neglect your own personal life, because you want to loop him back into "what it once was".

You find yourself disappointed in the relationship, expecting a GREAT thing, but find yourself with.... this. You feel disappointed.

What to do!? I find myself checking off a few things in the list above!?

You STEP BACK. Retract yourself from this dynamic. Wellness day, but from this relationship.

Take a few deep breaths. When was the last time you FULLY focused on YOU and just YOU? if it has been more than a few weeks, it's an emergency girlie.

What did you leave behind? Did you neglect duties, hobbies, personal projects? It is time to clean up your schedule and focus on YOU. Go, girlie. You need to be an individual, not his Siamese twin.

Make a thorough pros-cons to your relationship with him. Be honest and don't put in "fake pros". It's for you and you, and if you don't write it all, you're lying to yourself... Clown stuff you know. Include emotional, material, financial, social aspects of it all. Everything. If you checked off a few things, odds are incredibly high you might have way more cons than pros. Be HONEST towards yourself.

Then, if you went through all those steps, I'm sure you deduced what to do now. (If you haven't... read more of my posts) You only deserve net additions to your life. You better off single. Yeah.

Okay so.... what must I do to avoid them NEXT TIME?

Trust yourself: If you feel some negative emotion regarding a relationship you're in... LISTEN to this! You have HAVE to listen to this inner queen screaming you the answers. You need a life worth living, a life in which you're happy and comfortable in.

RUN when the inner queen screams to RUN. "Politeness" or "societal standards" go in the compost bin. If you're feeling uncomfortable, get UP. Simple.

Surround yourself with queen besties and only tolerate queen behavior. Pickmes can encourage one to ignore the gut instinct. They can tell you "oh he's actually fantastic", and the guy's breathing dust and mites. They create UNNECESSARY inner conflict. You need inner PEACE AND QUIET, aka, you know what is correct, what's not, you got it all streamlined up. Decisions should never be complicated. If you need one thick 40 lines paragraph at font size 11, or a 5 minutes monologue to explain yourself in your rationale, it's too much.

PRIORITIZE YOURSELF above everything. A great partner will be SO glad you're doing that because he won't have a decomposing mess in his hands at some point. Don't worry, he should be able to handle his own stuff. And this will naturally repulse those that want you all for themselves, those types that run women to the ground.

If you find yourself a great guy... STEPPING BACK and REEVALUATING regularly will be so useful, you throw a fresh, more objective eye to things. Reevaluation is KEY.

[fluxedbuds]

apparently y'all Are desperate enough for my Lomadia Oc so uh. hope you're in the mood for [checks notes] ~13 paragraphs, half of which is just description!

allow me to introduce Villom!

She doesn't have an actual name or in-universe nickname, I just call her Villom. Because she was originally a Villain Version of Lomadia from a sci-fi world for some comic idea I totally scrapped bc it sucked. Except for Villom!

So basically what if we put Lomadia in space and gave her every problem and no normal coping mechanisms

The base universe is Completely Impossible sci-fi space stuff, involving solar systems being relatively close together and having tons of habitable planets, with star trek 'convergent evolution' making everybody a Weird Human Basically. Part of these choices is that I. Don't actually like sci-fi lol. I don't think its bad I just can't Get Into It, so I did the lazy version. HOWEVER I do also use the fact that its extremely artificial and story-focused as part of the plot so its FINE There IS also magic, but it’s generally less used, as tech is more accessible and less complicated from a user standpoint. That doesn’t mean it isn’t powerful, if you know what to look for. Thats foreshadowing!

Compared to base Lomadia, Villom is.. very immature. She has trouble identifying and controlling emotions, she's quick to anger and holds grudges. She's also more impulsive and tends towards insults and crude jokes. She's actually pretty fun to hang out with as a result, but responsibility is a role she's crushed into, and it never truly fits. She's trying her best ok

Villom starts out her story as a young adult, training to be a pilot. She does some hero shit, but breaks so many rules in the process and gets kicked out. She’s enraged by this betrayal of what was supposed to be her life, and steals a ship to go rogue and try to pursue her dreams anyways. She doesn’t exactly know what she’s doing, though, and eventually a chase causes her to crash on an unfamiliar planet, where she meets Rythian. He’s steampunk now, don’t question it

Anyways, they end up teaming up, and form the first of her crew. Later additions are Martyn, who is a mouse guy who has So Fucking Many People Who Want Him Dead, and Zoeya! Who ended up separated from Fionn following partially the plot of Mushbury, and works as the ship’s engineer. Their ship (that lasts long enough to get a name…) is called the Ask, and Villom occasionally (and jokingly) calls her crew the Answers. (Its called the Ask because originally I gave the characters nicknames based on Norse mythology for Pretentious Reasons, those might come back later)

So everything’s all fine and poggers for a while, with the Ask’s crew causing mischief and undercutting evil empires across the worlds- and then Villom’s home planet is destroyed. And she sees it happen.

See, one of the tropes of sci-fi that bugs me, is how understated the death of an entire planet tends to go. This is the first step of Villom realizing how truly fucked up the world they live in is- and the first step of her wondering why it has to be this way, and how to stop it.

It only gets worse from here.

No matter how many evil empires they topple, no matter how many massive threats they thwart, there’s always another one. And no matter how fast they are, they can’t stop every world-ending crisis. Villom starts learning magic, wondering if theres some kind of solution there. When she doesn’t find one, she just looks harder. Brushing so close with forces she’s alone in experiencing wears on her, compounding with their futile mission.

The breaking point is when Rythian dies. Raiding an enemy ship goes wrong, they’re outnumbered, they’re trying to retreat. Surrenders are not accepted, there.

It’s another thing she sees happen, another thing she was inches away from but unable to stop. And she can’t take it. She can’t take losing another part of her, another of the few things she could call home in this cold void.

She takes some of the things she learned looking where she shouldn’t- and kills the nearest member of the enemy team, trading a life for a life. And part of her soul as tax, of course. Just a small bit, this time. She never tells him. Pretends it was instead an incredibly close call. He probably knows she’s lying, on some level, but he never says it.

Villom is desperate, now. There’s more and more things she’s hiding from her crew, more and more boundaries of safety she’s pushing. She trades one of her eyes for the ability to see the functions of the world itself- maybe it’s a mistake, there’s some gear stuck, and if she fixes it this infinite loop of wars will stop.

There is no mistake. This is how the universe is intended to function.

She can’t give up. Because if she stops, she’s never going to get up again.

Maybe there’s other worlds where it’s better, where it’s safe. Maybe there’s a way to make this world like them.

Maybe there’s a way to leave.

She’s barely human anymore, even though she looks perfectly fine. Her hair is white, her eye replaced, but that’s all. She’s replaced the things she’s traded away. She’s barely even a part of the world, anymore. Unstuck from the threads of it, floating as a constant point, unchanging and undying, snapping back into place when moved.

A lot of universes are visited by a strange woman with white hair, who never stays. Sometimes she’s a savior, or a tyrant, or merely another passerby.

One of them, somewhere, has to have an answer. The way to break the cycle. And Villom will find it- even if she has to take every one of them apart.