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Litany - Chapter 10/12
Hi, guys! Iâm stressed about the first week of class, so hereâs a thing to distract me.
@bombshellsandbluebells lent her stellar editing talents to this piece so thank her for helping me <3
Also on Ao3
We were inside the train car when I started to cry. You were crying too, smiling and crying in a way that made me even more hysterical. You said I could have anything I wanted, but I just couldnât say it out loud. Actually, you said Love, for you, is larger than the usual romantic love. Itâs like a religion. Itâs terrifying. No one will ever want to sleep with you.
Then
âOtan!â Emori shouts, banging her way into the basement, nearly falling down the last two steps, her feet sliding in her too-big boots. âOtan, get your ass out of bed! I hit the jackpot!â
ââS too early,â Otan grumbles, pulling the moth-eaten blanket over his head. âWhy are you so loud?â
âIâm not loud,â Emori says. âYouâre hungover.â She pulls out a package of day-old buns and a jar of generic peanut butter. âI got breakfast!â
âBreakfast?â Otan sat up. âThought we didnât have money for that.â
Emori shrugs. âMade a deal.â
Otan looks at her mistrustfully, but shuffles out of bed nonetheless, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders like a cape. She slaps some peanut butter on a roll and takes a big bite, hoping it will soothe the ache in her stomach.
âDonât forget about me,â Otan grumbles.
Emori give him a cheeky smile. âCouldnât if I tried,â she mumbles around a mouthful. âMake your own breakfast. And clean up. You smell like alcohol.â
Now
Otan seems to know that Emori is going to leave, even before she says anything.
âI kinda figured,â he says gently, ruffling her hair. âThis life isnât yours anymore, Em. I donât know if jail did something to you, or if it was that kid, butâŚâ He trails off, stares past her for a long moment. âYou belong somewhere else now.â
Tears fill her eyes. She wraps her arms around her torso to keep herself from breaking. âIâm sorry.â
âDonât be.â Otan stuffs his hands in his pockets - a boyish, uncomfortable gesture. âI left you first.â
It hangs there. Brother and sister regard one another. Emori wants to hug him, but something in her balks at the idea. She can tell he wants to say something, but he wonât. Neither of them ever do.
She shoulders her backpack. Sheâs wearing Johnâs thermal sweatshirt. The fabric chafes against her neck. The sleeve bulges awkwardly over her bad hand. âIâll call you,â she says softly.
Otan nods. She turns to the door. This feels final, like a door closing, a lock twisting shut and rusting there.
âTry not to forget about me,â Otan says suddenly, an echo of a past life, of a girl she supposes she isnât anymore.
She smiles, carefully, but she doesnât look back. âCouldnât if I tried.â
John is standing outside the apartment building, pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair. Itâs shorter now, and he has more facial hair. Itâs not a bad look, all things considered. She hopes it means that heâs taking care of himself, even though she knows thereâs a high possibility that Raven just sat him down and chopped off his hair with safety scissors.
Thatâs not a bad idea, she thinks, absently fingering the dry ends of her long hair. Then, John turns to look at her, and she canât think at all.
âHey,â he says in a tone trying too hard to be casual. Despite herself, she feels a grin creep over her face. âWhat?â
âYou came,â she says softly. âI didnât-â
Sheâs about to say something else, but before she can take a breath, heâs running to her, sweeping one of her arms up over his shoulder and wrapping her in a hug.
âJohn,â she gasps, burying her face in his shoulder. His arms are tight around her, one around her shoulders and the other around her waist. She can feel him shaking.
âItâs okay,â she murmurs in his ear, squeezing his shoulder. âIâm okay.â
He nods into her shirt, then pulls away to look down at her. âWhereâs your jacket?â
She curls her good hand into his sweatshirt that sheâs wearing. âThis is warm enough.â
He scoffs, shakes his head and starts shrugging off his coat. When he offers it to her, he doesnât meet her eyes, but she puts it on anyway.
Thereâs a wall thatâs gone up between them, swift and sudden. As quickly as he embraced her, he has shut her out. She fights the urge to do the same, instead choosing to lead him toward the train station, her backpack swishing against the cool nylon of Johnâs jacket.
They stand on the elevated platform nearly shoulder-to-shoulder. A neon sign hanging from the ceiling announces that their train is 30 minutes away and apt to be delayed because of an incoming storm. Thereâs a few people milling around, hiding in the shadows, sitting under the overhang, afraid of the promised rain.
A gust of wind blows through, whipping around the platform. Beside her, John stiffens, shivers. His closeness is terrifying; she has to stop herself from leaning into his warmth. His eyes are closed against the cold wind. When he opens them, theyâre bright, as if with tears.
âWhat are you thinking about?â she asks, her voice creaking like broken floorboards. âWhatâs wrong?â
He looks away from her. âNothing.â He shivers again.
âDo you want your jacket back?â she asks, already preparing to shrug it off.
âI donât-â he starts to snap, then catches himself. âNo.â
Impatience and anger rear their ugly heads in her. âWhatâs your problem, John?â she asks.
âNothing!â His eyes are scared, his posture defensive. As thunder rumbles overhead, she realizes that he is afraid of her.
She backs up, standing under the overhang as rain starts to drizzle over them. John follows her, shoving his hands in his pockets so hard sheâs surprised a seam doesnât rip.
âJohn,â she says again, stepping forward and ducking to meet his eyes. âJohn, talk to me.â
âYou canât just stay when it works for you,â he says softly. His eyes are still bitter, but thereâs sadness behind the blue fire. âYou canât come back and leave whenever you want. You freaked Raven out. Jasper missed you.â
âOh, sure, this is about Raven and Jasper,â Emori scoffs. Thereâs a fist closing around her lungs. Itâs wringing the life from them slowly but surely. âIt couldnât possibly be about you.â
âShut up!â John shouts. She flinches back, and two bystanders turn to stare. The rain comes down harder. âYou donât get to blame this on me! You left me!â
âAnd now youâre punishing me for it?â Emori cries. âYou said you understood! You said you wanted me to come home!â
âI didnât say Iâd make it easy,â he growls, taking a hasty step forward so theyâre chest-to-chest. âI didnât say I wouldnât hate you for it.â
âTell me to leave, John,â she breathes. Beg me to stay.
He kisses her instead. When they break apart, he makes a sound like a wounded animal. âIâm sorry.â
âYouâre going to have to figure your shit out,â she whispers, her head spinning, her lips still feeling the ghost of his mouth. âI wonât let you talk to me like that again.â
He smirks down at her. âYou going to punish me?â
The rain is pouring down now, soaking the pavement and sending wafts of mist under the overhang. Emori sees beads of it shimmering on her glove when she shoves his chest. âShut up, John.â
He catches her bad hand, holds it close, lifts it to cup his cheek and kiss the wrapped palm. She feels her face fall and her eyes harden. âDonât do that.â
âDonât do what?â John asks, kissing the palm again.
âThat.â She tugs her hand free.
âIt deserves love too,â he murmurs, reaching for her good hand. Emori doesnât know what to say to that, so she says nothing. Instead, she takes off Johnâs jacket and hands it to him. She steps back into the rain, tips her head up to the sky, and lets the cold water sting her face like tears.
âYouâre crazy!â John shouts. She tilts her head down to look at him. Her hair plasters to her cheeks. âEmori, get back here!â
âOr what?â She spins in the rain, laughing. Later, sheâll be freezing, shivering and desperate for warmth, but right now, she craves the cold.
Iâm going to be okay, she tells herself as the train roars past, its push and pull of wind soaking her even more. This will all be okay.
They both cry on the train on the way home. Emori, from joy, the salt dripping into her mouth, mixing with the rain falling from her hair; John for reasons she doesnât understand.
âWhatâs wrong?â she asks him, breathless, her tears giving way to a kind of soft joy.
He wipes his eyes, though there are no tears. He cries like she used to: silent and without a trace. âIf you say ânothingâ,â Emori says, teasing, âIâll kick you into tomorrow.â
âI donât know,â he says softly. The train is dark and empty. Rain lashes at the windows. Emori scoots over to be nearer to him. Despite her wet clothes, he leans on her shoulder.
âLove, for you,â he murmurs, almost to himself, âisnât the usual kind of love. Itâs like a religion. Itâs terrifying. No one will ever want to sleep with you.â
She frowns. As if of its own accord, her good hand flies up to stroke his hair. âI scare you.â She means it as a question. It sounds more like an accusation.
He doesnât hesitate. âYeah.â
She sighs. He stays there, on her shoulder. Her arm starts to go numb. She doesnât ask him to move.
When they pull into the station outside their college campus - is it still hers, Emori wonders; is any of this still hers? - Raven is there, leaning against the hood of Bellamyâs car, arms crossed, good foot tapping on the ground. Her shadow is harsh in the street lamp above her. At the sight, Emori feels the knot in her stomach tense and tighten.
This is it, she tells herself as she shoulders her bag and shakes John awake. She wonât let me come home. Emails be damned.
Home. She nearly shakes herself, self-corrects. Come back.
âHey, Reyes,â John says easily, not even flinching when Raven rockets straight past him to wrap Emori in a bruising hug.
âDonât ever fucking scare me like that again,â Raven murmurs, rubbing Emoriâs back with her hand.
Emori fights the urge to rest her forehead on Ravenâs shoulder and cry. âIâm sorry,â she whispers, and waits for the rejection.
Raven pulls back just slightly and brushes a strand of hair from Emoriâs face. âItâs okay. Youâre home now. Lexa wanted to go through your stuff for clues, but I drew the line.â
John rolls his eyes. âYou were this close to doing it, too.â
Raven shrugs. âJust wanted to make sure she was okay-â She stops and twirls a lock of Emoriâs hair in her fingers. âWait, why are you wet?â
John snorts. Emori starts to explain, but is cut off when Raven hugs her again, then ushers her toward the car.
âTell me later,â she says, fussing just like Otan would, like Bellamy would too, probably. âWe need to get you dry.â
John mutters something Emori doesnât hear. Raven does; she turns around in her seat and smacks him on the leg. John kicks her seat, and Emori retaliates by throwing the tissue box on the floor near her feet at Johnâs torso.
âIâll have to tell Bellamy I did end up needing a car tissue box,â Raven says drily, and the three of them speed home.Â
âWhy did you leave?â
Emori jumps at the sound of Octaviaâs voice. Sheâs standing in the doorway, arms crossed loosely over her chest. âEveryone was worried. You had all of this, and you threw it away. Why?â
Emori sighs and kicks her now-empty backpack under the bed. âItâs a long story,â she sighs.
âIs it?â Octavia steps into the room. She and Emori are about the same height, but thereâs something about the younger girl that makes her seem that much more imposing. âBecause from where I stand, you put yourself ahead of the people that love you enough to want to keep you here.â
Emori takes a careful step forward. âYouâre telling me you wouldnât have done the same if it was your brother?â Octavia frowns. âIf it was Bellamy?â
âBellamy wouldnât have asked me to,â Octavia nearly snarls.
âThatâs the point!â Emori shouts. âYou have no fucking idea how damn lucky you are! Your brother would do anything for you.â She remembers Bellamyâs tirade in the alley, his furious face inches from her brotherâs impassive eyes. âHe would never leave you; he would never ask you to forget about the things you want to help him fix his mistakes.â
Sheâs run out of tears, but her throat feels tight as if sheâs about to cry. âYou donât understand,â she says softly, a broken thing. Octaviaâs eyes soften incrementally the longer she stands there.
âIâm sure your brother loves you,â Octavia says quietly. She looks chastised, or at least a little guilty. âIn his own way.â
âHe does.â Emori nods, sniffles a little bit. âButâŚâ
Octavia cocks her head. A frown creases the skin between her eyes. Behind her, Emori sees another personâs shadow, hovering in the hall.
âHe didnât choose me,â Emori says, finally, throat tight. âThere was something he wanted more.â
Thereâs nothing left to say. Octavia leaves the room with a soft sound that Emori doesnât have the energy to identify.
The shadow in the hall is Bellamyâs. He enters the room quietly, gently. âI told her not to talk to you like that,â he says, apologetically.
Emori shakes her head. The lump in her throat widens. âItâs okay.â
âThat was nice,â Bellamy gestures to the room, âwhat you said about me.â
âItâs true.â Emoriâs voice cracks, because what wouldnât she give for her brother to care just a little bit more and in a little bit of a different way?
âOh, come here,â Bellamy murmurs, reaching for Emori, hugging her by the shoulders and letting her sniffle, once, into the soft cotton of his shirt. âItâs okay.â
She doesnât have words for the comfort she needs, but Bellamy doesnât seem to mind. She closes her eyes and tentatively hugs him back, her arms around his torso.
âAww, you didnât invite me?â Raven leans against the doorframe, grinning slightly. Bellamy reaches his free arm out for Raven, who joins the hug, resting her chin on Emoriâs shoulder and placing her hand carefully atop Emoriâs bad one.
âYou okay?â she murmurs in Emoriâs ear. When Emori nods, Raven squeezes her hand. âWeâve got you.â
âDamn right.â Emori canât see over Ravenâs head, but she knows thatâs Jasper, and, judging from the footsteps, Monty too. The boys join the group hug, hanging on even when Bellamy staggers forward under Jasperâs exuberant weight.
Emori has to laugh at Bellamyâs soft oof. âIâm fine,â she says softly.
âWe know,â Monty says, patting her awkwardly on the head, the only part of her he can reach. âDoesnât mean we canât be here for you anyway.â
Emori doesnât know what to say to that either. She stands there, encased in a knot of her roommatesâ love and care, and lets them decide when to let go.
Something has shifted in the houseâs atmosphere. Itâs as if Emoriâs absence, however short, has torn a hole in things that is now mending. Emori isnât sure how true that is, but she is sure that there have never been this many people in the kitchen at one time.
âGet out!â John shoves Bellamy away from the fridge. âSit down on the bar stool next to Emori or get the fuck out of my way. Your choice.â
Bellamy retrieves a beer and hastens to the living room, where Octavia, Monty, Jasper and Luna are duking it out over Mario Kart. Emori smiles at John when his back is to her. Lexa lets herself in from the backyard and gives Emori a knowing look.
âYou two would be cute together,â Lexa whispers in Emoriâs ear. Emori swats her on the arm without thinking about it; Lexaâs surprised laugh carries through the whole house as she goes to answer the door.
âHuh, what do you know?â a young man asks, kicking off his shoes and dropping a bag of potato chips on the counter. âShe does have a personality.â
âLeave her alone,â John says, and then proceeds to glare at his back until he plops down on the rug in front of the TV.
âWho is he?â Emori asks, frowning.
âThatâs Zeke Shaw.â The name sounds mean in Johnâs mouth. âI think heâs into Raven.â
âHeâs cute.â Emori appraises him. His eyes are earnest and he has the set jaw and close-cut hair of a military man. He looks like he could handle Raven, or at least, make sure she can handle herself. âObjectively.â
âWell, yeah, butâŚâ John sighs. The kitchen timer goes off. âI donât want her to get hurt. Again.â
The set of his shoulders tell her the same sentiment applies to himself.
âI met Zeke when I came to find you in the city.â
Emori jumps at the sound of Johnâs voice from the bathroom doorway. She spits some toothpaste in the sink and rinses her toothbrush. âOh.â
âI saw you watching him,â he clarifies. âFigured you should know heâs not a total stranger.â
âOnly a slight stranger, then,â Emori says, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. John doesnât return it, so she lets it drop and bends over to put away her toothpaste and hide the sadness of her eyes.
He wonât forgive you, she tells herself. Stop trying to earn it.
âDo you regret coming for me?â she asks, voice small, echoing slightly in the bathroom. She remembers holding herself up, arms stiff, mouth bitter, and remembers him tucking her into bed, holding her, lending her his shirt and some of his strength.
Her stomach rolls at the memory. That was where all the horrible things began.
âNo,â John whispers, like itâs a bitter confession. âI donât.â He laughs, sharp. âI probably should. But I donât.â
She regards him in the mirror. Itâs safer that way, a pane of glass separating the two of them, their words and all the things that split them before they even had a chance to come together.
âCan we start over?â John asks, in a rush. That question, and her answer, goes against both of their nature.
âYes,â she says, and he smiles.
âYou know,â Raven begins around a mouthful of food, âyouâre pretty good at that.â
Emori looks up from Montyâs laptop. Or, at least, the shell of it. Sheâs installing a hard drive with more storage, although, from the looks of it, she should probably just build him his own gaming computer. âOh. Thanks.â
âYou should take a computer engineering class,â Raven continues, either undeterred by, or oblivious to, Emoriâs standoffish reaction. âYou wouldnât be half bad.â
Emori gestures with her bad hand. âCanât fix things properly with this.â
Raven raises an eyebrow. âYouâre using it fine now.â She shrugs. âI walk funny. People might stare, but it doesnât stop me. It shouldnât stop you either.â
Emori blinks. Sheâd never considered that: that her appearance may not immediately disqualify her from something. After all, it had disqualified her from her motherâs love and from belonging. But maybeâŚ
âSure,â she says, genuinely. âIâll look into it.â
Raven grins. âHell, yeah.â
She does look into it. Fall turns into almost-winter, and she thinks and plans and crams for finals and works long nights to make sure she catches up from her unplanned hiatus. She even goes on a couple dates with John. They turn out better than the first one did; he takes her to the park for a chilly picnic, and they get tipsy and crunch fall leaves in their hands, their conversation evaporating with their breath in the air. He takes her dancing at some lame college event, and she surprises him, and herself, by wearing a dress.
Her favorite date is right before finals season: they stay in his room, and she helps him write out more poems to tape to his walls. Thereâs something strangely permanent about her writing in his space.
Love, for you, she writes, as careful as she can, is not the usual kind of love. Itâs like a religion. Itâs terrifying. No one will ever want to sleep with you.
He hangs that above his bed. Later, he kisses her as they lay below it.
The closer it gets to Thanksgiving, the more tense the house gets, thanks to finals and finals-induced stress. Jasper and Monty are at one anotherâs throats, John cuts back on the drinking to concentrate, but makes everyone miserable because of it, and Emori takes to sleeping in Ravenâs room so Raven actually goes to bed at a halfway decent time.
âI like you,â Raven mumbles, half asleep. The clock reads 3:14 p.m. âYouâre a good kid.â
Emori laughs drowsily. âIâm older than you.â
âFuck if I know,â Raven says around a yawn. Emoriâs heart warms.
The three-day break for the holiday is a welcome reprieve; even Jasper, an underachiever by his own admission, welcomes the break from studying. John wants to celebrate with a party, but theyâre all so wiped out that they spend the day before Thanksgiving napping and watching the worst-rated movies on Netflix.
Emori didnât even think they were going to celebrate the holiday until John hauls a massive turkey out of the freezer the night before.
âWhat...the fuck?â Octavia asks, eyes wide. âWhen did you buy a turkey?â
John shrugs. âYou know. Whenever.â
âThatâs Not an answer,â Octavia says. âAnd yes-â
âThe capital letters are implied in your tone,â Raven and Lexa say in unison and in monotone. Emori hides a smile. Some things never change.
John bastes and roasts the turkey. Every time he says the turkey is roasting, Raven gets a shit-eating grin on her face that Octavia tries to wipe off by throwing pillows, papers and a magazine at her head. At some point between breakfast and a half-hearted lunch, Harper, Zeke, Luna and Bellamy come over, bearing mashed potatoes, corn casserole, green beans and pumpkin pie, respectively.
âWhat is that?â Lexa asks, poking Zekeâs glass pan with a finger.
âCorn casserole,â Zeke says, his head inside the fridge.
âCorn what?â
His head pops up almost comically fast. âYou donât know what corn casserole is?!â Lexa shakes her head. âShame,â Zeke mutters, and spends the next five minutes unsuccessfully attempting to open his beer.
Monty tries to steal Johnâs steak knives three separate times. The fourth time, he succeeds, and Emori canât suppress her laughter at Johnâs howl of rage when he sees his prize knife strapped to the roomba.
âGIVE ME THE KNIFE BACK!â he shouts. âMonty, Iâm gonna drop-kick that piece of shit out the front door.â
âHey!â Jasper picks up the object and cradles it to his chest dramatically. âDonât insult Stabby.â
âIf you call that thing âStabbyâ one more time, Iâm gonna take you out,â Harper promises, stepping over Jasper and plopping onto the couch next to Monty. Emori wiggles her eyebrows at Raven over Montyâs head when the boyâs cheeks start to flush.
John doesnât stop fussing over the turkey until Bellamy steals his apron and baster and shoos him out of the kitchen to set the table. He does, in proper form no less, and Emori sneaks behind him and messes up the silverware until John catches her.
âSaboteur,â he calls her, grabbing her around the middle and tickling her sides.
âJohn, stop!â she says, laughing, squirming away from him and nearly smacking her shoulder on the peninsula. She knocks over one of the bar stools and almost kicks a passing Zeke in the shins. âSeriously!â
John releases her just as the doorbell rings. âHow many more people can we fit in this house?â he wonders aloud as Bellamy goes to answer the door.
âHow many people can we fit at this table?â Lexa asks, gesturing to the makeshift banquet table that consists of the dining room table, two card tables, a large coffee table with cushions for sitting, and Ravenâs desk.
âHopefully three more,â Bellamy says, leading Echo, Clarke Griffin and Costia into the house. Echo immediately gravitates to Raven and Harper, while Clarke stays close to Bellamy and Costia hovers near Johnâs elbow as he carves the turkey.
âCan I have a drumstick?â she asks John, who nods. âI can help if you want.â
âThatâs Emoriâs man, Costia,â Octavia yells over her brotherâs shoulder. âYouâve got your own woman!â
âAnd a fine one I am,â Lexa snarks. Luna swats at her. âWhat? Iâm hot.â
Somehow, Bellamy and John navigate the chaos and get everyone settled at the table. They pause for grace - mostly for Zeke, Raven grumbles - then dig in. Emori stuffs herself on turkey and cranberries - and Zekeâs casserole, which isnât half bad - and on the laughter and kindness of her friends that fills her to the brim.
âI want to try something,â John says softly, his head resting on her stomach. Theyâre in her bed, nestled under blankets, watching the first snow of the season from her window.
âOkay,â she murmurs, continuing to card her good fingers through Johnâs hair. When he lifts his head, her hand falls from the top of his head to the nape of his neck. âWhatever you want.â
He kisses her, soft, and she lets him; she tangles her good fingers in his hair again, but lets out a tiny huff of breath when his tongue swipes over her bottom lip.
âSorry-â he says, breaking away. âI didnât-â
âYouâre fine!â sheâs fast to reassure him. Itâs like ripping off a BandAid, she realizes. âI wasnât expecting it.â
âI said I wanted to try something,â he says, grumpy and cheeky.
She shoves at his shoulder as he moves closer. âShut up,â she says, but sheâs laughing right until the moment their lips connect. This time, he deepens the kiss almost instantly, and she lets him. She loses herself in it, in the soft way he bites at her lower lip, the careful press of his tongue, the gasp he makes when she sighs against his mouth.
âThat was nice,â she murmurs when he breaks away, propping himself on his elbow and looking down at her. His hand strokes over her hair. âWhat was it for?â
He shrugs. Suddenly, he canât meet her eyes. âWhat if you leave again?â he says, softly, the guilt in his eyes at that question palpable. âI want to do the things I regret not doing.â He winces. âThatâs so fucking cheesy.â
Emori shakes her head. âNo,â she whispers, shame and sadness piercing her heart. âItâs not.â
#litany fic#memori#memori fanfiction#bombshellsandbluebells#maskingtapepoetree#emorikomspacekru#dailymemori#sarcasticdebate#katswatermelon
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"And if itâs at all possible, I believe that Sasha still cares." I was about to go out and run some errands but now I just need to stay in and cry.
*hands hankie*
My quiet dream right now is that the mystery guest Alex mentioned in his tweets, that Iâve been figuring for Alasdair Stewart, is actually the woman who played Sasha. That would be a turn-up for the books.
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congrats on 6.5 k!!! my rec for you is my all-time favorite book, Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel. Itâs about a theatre troupe, a history museum, a cult, and the importance of art and culture in a post-apocalyptic world because âsurvival is insufficient.â
Eyyy thatâs my all time favourite book as well!!
Icon: not a fan | okay | good | beautiful | awesome!! | RAVEN REYES URL: not a fan | okay | good | beautiful | awesome!! | AMY SANTIAGOsidebar: not a fan | okay | good | beautiful | awesome!! | TAHANI AL-JAMILtheme: not a fan | okay | good | beautiful | awesome!! | MYLENE CRUZ Posts: not a fan | okay | good | beautiful | awesome!! | LESLIE KNOPEOverall: not a fan | okay | good | beautiful | awesome!! | PAM BEESLYFollowing?: may we meet again | +f!! | ofc! | you are my people
want one?
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emorikomspacekru replied to your post âmattâs really pulling out all the stops with this villain huhâ
i in the eastern time zone do it by having a body clock somewhere in hawaii even though i've never been there before
LMAO this was me too before i miraculously got on something resembling a sleep schedule w the help of the max dose of melatonin and medication. last year when i did still live in EST land staying up til 2am wouldâve been absolutely no problem but i was dying last night
@faceplantmay replied to your post âmattâs really pulling out all the stops with this villain huhâ
Iâm central too and when I had work at 6 in the morning this shit SUCKED, Iâd drag my happy ass into work at 6:10 with two cups of coffee. My parents knew I was gonna be super tired by Friday so after a while I started getting less kids. It correlated to parents vacation times but I like to think they were being nice
oh god this sounds like a nightmare! i couldnât get up for 6am work regardless of if there was an episode the night before or not.. honestly feeling so blessed that my work lets me set my own schedule and the one class iâm teaching in september starts at 2:30 pm. after mollyâs death happening in the last like.. 20 minutes? of last weekâs episode i absolutely refuse to stop watching before the episodeâs overÂ
#faceplantmay#emorikomspacekru#honestly the time that they air the show at only works out for pst and maybe mountain time or whatever it is#any other time zone it's like in the middle of the night or early early morning#pour one out for the australians
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right back @ u: TAZ for the ask meme
my favorite female character - Lup
my favorite male character - Taako (i have a Type i really am that predictable)
my favorite book/season/etc - balance is my favorite campaign, but iâm gonna go with an arc since thereâs really only two proper seasons so. Murder on the Rockport Limited is still my absolute favorite
my favorite episode (if its a tv show) - i could say rockport for this too, but actually my favorite episode is Episode 12, aka Rockport Chapter 3, aka âkind of a shitty wizard.â iâve listened to it so many times.
my favorite cast member - i love all the mcelroys BUT iâll say justin. is it bc he plays taako and taz was the first mcelroy content i was exposed to? perhaps
my favorite ship - hurley/sloane man. i love them so much
a character Iâd die defending - ango
a character I just canât sympathize with - barry,,,,, i like him enough and the reveal was ofc iconic!! heâs great and has some nice moments but i feel like he wasnât rly developed enough you know? even compared to other characters in the stolen century
a character I grew to love - okay honestly? merle. like i just found him the least interesting at first u know? but i love him
my anti otp - hmm idk what people are into besides canon ships and lupcretia honestly. and like i said barry is nice enough so him and lup are alright lup has two hands. iâm gonna say lucretia/any man
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i donât see zechoraven, but i very much appreciate and can relate to your dedication to polyshipping.
I think I like ot3(+)s so much because of the exponential possibility of conflict lmao. Navigating the extra difficulties, each characterâs priorities⌠I usually end up shipping them when I find the canon dynamics between 3+ characters already fascinating, but also simply when I like two ships for one character and I want to see them interact (which is why I love polyships that at least start in V form, as in, one character is with/has feelings for two people, and how that evolves -maybe to a triad, maybe not. Idk, I dig it xD).
Some of current fave t100 polyships, because why not:
Anything involving Bellamy/Emori/Murphy/Raven, simply because theyâre my faves and I love them :P. In canon Iâd pick Emori/Murphy/Raven (memoven? memoraven?) because weâve gotten tons of good material, but rn Iâm really into Bellamy/Emori/Murphy (âŚ. mellemori?) because I ended up including a short-lived subplot in one of my WIPs and it has ~potential IMO.Â
Bellamy/Raven/Shaw (zavenbell lol). Mostly due to my Raven-stanning, but I started to write a fic about a week ago and I can really get behind this. The funniest thing is that so far canon hasnât contradicted it (partly because I kept details of how Shaw ended up on their side ~vague enough), and I even guessed right that a) Diyoza would love to get rid of McCreary and b) that Echo would see killing Shaw as the best move against Eligius. Now, if the show follows through and makes half of the self-indulgent shit Iâve written so far canon, Iâll explode xD.
Bellamy/Miller/Raven. Or more like, Bellamy/Miller + Bellamy/Raven (Miller is Very Gay and Iâve barely seen him interact with Raven -I donât even remember if they ever talk with each other tbh-, so Iâm not as into their dynamic as I might be otherwise. Thereâs also a fic in my drafs including them. Because.Â
Bellamy/Raven/Wells. Again, more as a V ship with Bellamy/Raven + Bellamy/Wells, because we never saw how Raven/Wells couldâve played. I guess the right writer could persuade me. I have another WIP that deals with the Braven+Wellamy situation. At this point, just assume I have a WIP for almost anything with this fandom, paired with a mix of perfectionism and adhd issues that makes it really hard to follow through ÂŹÂŹ
Bellamy/Echo/Raven. But with certain caveats because⌠well, I am very aware of the fact that, if I stanned Echo instead of Raven, I would at the very least dislike them (and Echo/Raven), and that makes me feel like a bit of a hypocrite lol. Alas, I can be into it.Â
Murphy/Raven/Shaw (zurven, fight me). Blame this post by @murphystartedthefire -the idea of Shaw crushing on both of them is hilarious, okay.Â
Echo/Raven/Shaw. The idea occurred to me last week, but I forgot until I saw that gifset xD. This is one of those cases where I just dig a high stakes conflict between 3 people and go with it. But seriously, the looks between them when Shaw found out she was after him were HIGH KEY HILARIOUS OKAY. Thatâs basically my whole reason for shipping them lol. But just imagine how awkward it mustâve been after Raven left? Both of them throwing hyper-vigilant stares to the other across the room, suspicious glances as they catalog the room for possible weapons, Shaw trying to keep at least three people between them at all times⌠LMAO.
And I honestly could get behind any Space Seven arrangement (including the fact that they obviously had group sex at some point, my girl Raven was NOT celibate for 6 years thatâs ridiculous), because theyâre my favourite dynamic in the show right now.
#emorikomspacekru#the 100#brem#zavenbell#spacekru#memoraven#mellemori#millamy#wellamy#braven#bechoven#echoven#zurven#zechoven#zaven#zecho#t100 thoughts#idk there's a lot here lol#and i think you can sense a theme: aka -give my girl raven some love dammit xD#raven reyes#replies#talking to the void#my thoughts
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emorikomspacekru: i will ship ANYTHING that comes with a title and lines pulled from the relationship between Dmitry and Anastasia in Anastasia (1997)
LISTEN. I GEARED UP TO WRITE THIS AND WAS LIKEÂ âokay so obviously theyâre doing the waltz that maria & captain von trapp dance toâ and then some fucking part of my brain was just like âITâS ONE, TWO, THREE. AND SUDDENLY. I SEE IT AT A GLANCEâ and then it all just tumbled down from there. molly is mitya seeing caleb/anastasia for the first time bye bYE BYE EVERYONE IâM DEAD BYE
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HELLO LISTEN I AM ALWAYS DOWN FOR A COLLAB
HELLO for the fic thing: 1, 7, 9, 37-39 and 41 :)
Thank you!1. How old were you when you first started writing fanfiction?Twelve or thirteen - the first fanfiction I remember writing is a terrible Clove/Foxface high society AU when I was in middle school.
7. Answered!
9. In your xxx fic, whatâs your favorite scene that you wrote?You didnât specify a fic, so Iâm going to pick my favorite scene from any of my Memori fics, which would probably have to be the flashback from Other Streets and Other Towns.
37. Whatâs the funniest story youâve ever written?I was going to say Iâm not sure I have one because I donât tend to write humor, but itâs actually definitely Ancient Motherfuckers.
38. If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be?Honestly probably you - the found family stories you like to tell are my shit, and I feel like youâre talented in different ways than I am (in ways I want to be - see above). but not so intimidating that I couldnât justify working with or learn from you. That said, she scares me shitless, but if @sharkodactyl offered to teach me her ways it wouldnât quite be a collab because I would very much feel like an apprentice but Iâd do it in a heartbeat.
39. Do you prefer first, second, or third person?Third person limited - I like getting that concentrated insight into a specific character, but first person feels a bit tacky to me, and presumptuous when it comes to writing other peopleâs characters. I also like that third person limited allows me to blend my own narrative style with the voice of the character from whose perspective Iâm writing, varying the feel my stories have without necessitating I totally change my voice (or stick to writing from one characterâs POV) the way first person would.
41. Whatâs your favorite minor character youâve written?I donât know whether this question refers to characters who are minor in the source material or to characters who feature minorly in my own work. For the former, definitely Emori (although sheâs more of a supporting character now - thatâs my girl, moving up the ladder of narrative significance with each passing season). Sheâs clever and insightful, which makes writing for her a joy, but also has a lot of trauma, which adds a lot of room for depth in her internal monologue. For the latter, I obviously hate her, but Iâm pretty proud of the way I managed to convey Ontari in Poor Soul, Poor Thing.
#NAME THE FIC TIME AND/OR PLACE#LETS FRIKKIN DO IT#emorikomspacekru#also omg u think you could LEARN from me??????#aaaaa im so honored
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Happy Hiatus BFSN everyone!!!! Well kids Iâm starting to feel better about things and life. So Iâm going to put the over dramatic hoe away until something else irritates me. Everyoneâs kind, encouraging words over the last couple of weeks has meant the world to me and has renewed my faith in the world again. Explanation and tags below.
Oh boy so I did a thing for my upcoming trip to Mexico and I ABSOLUTELY FREAKING LOVE THIS ONE!!!! The pictures donât really do it justice and it turned out differently than I was expecting but hot damn do I love this color. I mean my love always styles it the best but the way she worked her magic is truly a work of art. The base is more of a fire engine red and bright as hell but I canât stop staring at the luscious locks. I have also officially decided Iâm a chameleon and can change hair colors so well or maybe Iâm a little bit full of myself lol. Anyway Iâm so happy and in love.I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH. Every single one of you manage to lift me up and make me a better person. You also make me feel loved on a daily basis. You are all simply the best.
Tagged/Tagging: @dracosbellamy @covinskydeanoru @galaxyblake @clarkegroffin @madisgriffin @octannibal-blake @sly2o @buckthebarnes @sometimesrosy @grumpybell @aquietgirlsmess @nvermindiseeyou @spooky-ravenreyes @peterkavinske @thelittlestneverland @thelittlefanpire @semirama @lieutenantshaw @as-inevitable-as-morning @bb-8 @tracylorde @shemustbeprettyimportanttoyou @commander-anya @zavens-bellarke @i-dont-know-how-to-quit-you @captaindxddy @sarka-stically @jordanjaspergreen @and-now-youre-spooky @to-the-bellindow-to-the-wall @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold @bellameblake @bellamybb @clarkegriffinspoobybooby @the-most-beautiful-broom @granger--danger @dxrkartifices @afandomboi @tabatharich @carrieeve @mycaptainbellarke @blueshirtbell @viviansternwood @rebelkingandhistraitorprincessxx @nightbleeder @calivia @feliciting  @arkadiaschancellor @spooky-eleanor @griiffn @bellarkesgodson @captainwilldameron @caramelappletater @nymini @thehundredtimesobsessed @shadowhunthers @bellarketrashaf @mermaidclarke @chancellor-valdez @starboybellamy @foreverandalwayscrysis @griffinnblake @kombellarke @youspookedme-clarke�� @tramey81 @traitorwhoyoulove @princessclarke @emorikomspacekru @sanderson-s @chancellorgriffin @talistheintrovert @bettsfic @clarkegriffinblake @hallowsedenmcspooks @mamabearsdontthink @el-corazon-y-la-cabeza @easilydistractedbyfanfic @enoughtotemptme @frecklessbellamy @camhumphrey @failing-at-being-an-angel and whoever else wants to do it. Please let me know if you donât want to be tagged! Â
#bfsn#bellarke fam#bellarke fam selfie night#my face#new hair who dis#I LOVE MY HAIR#like seriously it's bad ass#i wish pictures did it justice#and i feel it is festive#please enjoy the prerecorded message
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A VERY HAPPY BELLARKE FAMILY SELFIE NIGHT TO ALL OF BELLARKE BEAUTIES!!!!đđ
It's been quite a while since I participated, mostly because I've been either busy or didn't have new photos đ
Well so for me, I moved to London, been here for almost a month, just found a job! I already saw my university, been there for registration, but the classes start only in three weeks so, there is still a lot of time. I managed to make some new friends, had few adventures (if you can call it adventures lol), but I am still super bad with crossing the road (why do they have to drive on the wrong side of the roaaddd, okay no offence, brits) and I miss my family and dog a lot đđ But overall I am fine, sorry for rambling for so long, I just came back from my shift and I am tired, so my sentences doesn't make any sense (do they ever lol)
As for bellarke, so far I am all living for @twotimestom's beautiful fanfic (it's called 'A Nicer Hercules' and it's on archiveofourown!) please make sure to check it out! And, if you ask me, if I have hope for bellarke next season, I would answer - are we still breathing? IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN GUYS! IT WILL!đ
Have a great week, for those who already started school/colleges/universities - I am blessing you all to pass the classes, boom that's done, you don't have to worry about it! But, please, open a book, try to study, it will be for the better (momfriendmodeactivated). Love you all, see you next time!đđ
I was tagged/tagging: @twotimestom ; @loveisalwayswise ; @feliciting ; @mermaidclarke ; @shadowhunthers @madigriffen ; @el-corazon-y-la-cabeza ; @maddigriffin ; @bellofthesky ; @skyqueengriffin ; @nymini ; @ehmori ; @cosmosclarke ; @mehmori ;Â @eizagonzalezs ; @rondasloves ; @keiraknighted ; @sunnyemori ; @jordanjaspermcgreen; @toopreciousbellamy ; @283livesforone ; @clarkeywifey ; @julibernardo ; @hostagetakerandhistraitor ; @apheliotrophic ; @nvermindiseeyou ; @jiyyaaaaa ; @misplacedprepositions ; @skaicrew ; @quintincoldwater ; @sailormoony ; @emorikomspacekru ; @howtobeinept ; @aguusmiles ; @i-dont-know-how-to-quit-you ; @bellblakesfreckles ; @somehow-we-manage ; @theeobsessed ; @clarkeywarrior ; @miles-ezekiel ; @the-natblidas ; @bring-me-bellarke ; @argentsxarrow
(It's my first time doing bfns on the phone so i might have forgotten someone, also if you don't want to be tagged just let me know! or if you want to be tagged also let me know ((either tag in your photos, I reay do want to see your beautiful faces! or just mesage me)))
#wow its been long#bellarke family selfie night#bfsn#it's after midnight in uk so idk if it still counts as bfsn but well here we go#my face#selfie
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relistening to The Magnus Archives with my father, and I think there's a consistency issue between Anatomy Class (MAG 34) and Nightfall (MAG 109). The policeman in Nightfall, Max Mustermann, was stated to be one of the students from Anatomy Class; however, although it is a German placeholder name, there was no Max Mustermann in Dr. Elliott's class, the student with the German placeholder name being the female Erika Mustermann.
Good catch! I think itâs distinctly possible that Erika was a later generation of one of the students, and that other professors had experiences with previous classes of faceless Stranger students. Max may have been a part of one of those previous classes.
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aka: keiraâs bored and finds an excuse to do stuff for people
right so! iâve just temporarily changed my url from reivenreies to bellarkesgodson to honour my baby, jj green, but also his late parents and his true godfather, jasper jordan, and i thought what a better way to spread the news than doing a celebration?
so, rules:
must be following this wannabe writer
reblog, likes donât count
maybe check out my fics on tumblr or ao3?
you can only pick two things (except for mutuals, you can choose three)
send me an ask recommending me a song and emojis
⢠for a name aesthetic - name has to be included
â for a really short fic (the 100 only) - include a prompt or a quote (you can find some inspo here) and ships/character you want in it
⪠for a moodboard (the 100 only, mutuals can get personal ones) - include character/idea you want it based on, or say you want a personal one
⍠for a blog compliment this used to be offered but turns out iâm stupidly bad at this pls request name aesthetics instead, those are the most fun
you can request until august 23 forever?? as long as i feel like doing theseÂ
if you donât want to see this, blacklist #kj celebrates
tagging some great mutuals people (whom you should also give a follow!!) under the cut!
@bellxmy-blake @fangirling-stole-my-sanity @montygreen @gilbert-damn-blythe @wetbellamyblake @maddigriffin @blueinej @talistheintrovert @madigriffen @cosmosclarke @zavens-bellarke @mehmori @bellofthesky @ghelikblack @great-wanheda @jordanjaspermcgreen @ravenfuckinreyes @sunnyemori @nvermindiseeyou @octannibal-blake @the-most-beautiful-broom @cometsnitesky @saltyblakke @ivegotyoufor-that @ehmori @emorikomspacekru @clarkgriffon @octeivia-blake @yourereallyhere @mermaidclarke @bellarke-stydia-olicity @bell-me-oh-my @this-girl-is-some-kind-of-genius @bellarke102 @bellamyblvkes @thebellarkeuniverse @joncthanmurphy @clarke-kom-eden @clarkegriffintitties @youleftme-clarke @youdonthavetodothisalone @bellamyblakebby @assholemurphy
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EMORI (+ BISEXUAL PRIDE) ICONSÂ - requested by @emorikomspacekru
23 icons, 200 x 200px
+7 bisexual pride icons, 200 x200px
available to save here
other icons are available here
please like/reblog if you save any :)
#the100edit#t100edit#emoriedit#emori icons#the 100 icons#emori edit#the 100 edit#wonkrunet#linctavias#userisla#bisexual pride icons#userniylah#userleila#icon requests#requests#my icons
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7, 22, 23 for the three songs
7Â - answered!
22. three songs you listen to when youâre sad - i donât tend to listen to music when iâm sad bc i donât want to form sad associations with songs i like you know? that said iâll go with my favorite audio stims even tho thatâs a little more of a stress thing but. same idea: Fireproof - One Direction, Donât Threaten Me With A Good Time - Panic! at the Disco, Mr. Brightside - The Killers
23. three songs that never fail to get you pumped up - The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy, Novocaine - Fall Out Boy, Kiwi - Harry Styles
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Happy Hiatus BFSN everyone!!! Iâm currently going back and forth on whether Iâm going to watch next season. I want to hold out and support the actors but then jroth opens his damn mouth and I donât want to watch anymore. We shall see what else comes out in the next few months. Thank you everyone for all your kind words and comments last week...you sure do know how to make a girl feel loved. Tags and explanation below.
Alright kids so has anyone ever heard of an âUgly Brunchâ? Well in case you havenât itâs where a group of people go to goodwill and purchase an outfit for another person with only 10 dollars. Once everyone has their outfit you then go out to brunch at a local restaurant. You post the pictures on facebook or other social media to get votes. Whoever created the ugliest outfit gets first place trophy and the person wearing the ugliest outfit gets the second place trophy. Which we have creatively named âThe Ugliest Bitch at the Brunchâ trophy. Itâs all in good fun and we have an amazing time doing it. This year was a trip because I had to wear that outfit and let everything kinda just hang out. I donât know why I continue participating but it pushes me out of my comfort zone and letâs me be silly. I did not win this year or last year but itâs always a trip to see what someone is going to put you in to go out in public. We do donate the clothes back as well as donate to the goodwill. I hope that everyone gets a kick out of these photos cause I laugh every time I see them.
Tagged/tagging:  @dracosbellamy@covinskydeanoru@galaxyblake@clarkegroffin @madisgriffin @octannibal-blake@sly2o @buckthebarnes@sometimesrosy@grumpybell@aquietgirlsmess @nvermindiseeyou @spooky-ravenreyes @peterkavinske @thelittlestneverland@thelittlefanpire@semirama@lieutenantshaw @as-inevitable-as-morning @bb-8@tracylorde@shemustbeprettyimportanttoyou@commander-anya@zavens-bellarke @i-dont-know-how-to-quit-you @captaindxddy@sarka-stically @jordanjaspergreen@and-now-youre-spooky @to-the-bellindow-to-the-wall @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold@bellameblake @bellamybb @clarkegriffinspoobybooby @the-most-beautiful-broom @granger--danger@dxrkartifices@afandomboi@tabatharich @carrieeve@mycaptainbellarke@blueshirtbell@viviansternwood @rebelkingandhistraitorprincessxx@nightbleeder@calivia@feliciting  @arkadiaschancellor @spooky-eleanor@griiffn@bellarkesgodson @captainwilldameron@caramelappletater@nymini@thehundredtimesobsessed@shadowhunthers@bellarketrashaf@mermaidclarke @chancellor-valdez@starboybellamy@foreverandalwayscrysis @griffinnblake@kombellarke@youspookedme-clarke @tramey81@traitorwhoyoulove@princessclarke@emorikomspacekru@sanderson-s@chancellorgriffin@talistheintrovert@starboybellamy@bettsfic@clarkegriffinblake @hallowsedenmcspooks@mamabearsdontthink @el-corazon-y-la-cabeza @easilydistractedbyfanfic@enoughtotemptme @frecklessbellamy and whoever else wants to do it. Please let me know if you donât want to be tagged! Â
#bfsn#bellarke fam#bellarke fam selfie night#my face#the things i do#oh the shenannigans#we do have a lot of fun#i had to wear a sweater vest#and a tank top 3 sizes too small under it#last years was worse tho#but hey we had fun
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A VERY VERY HAPPY BELLARKE FAMILY SELFIE NIGHT, FAM!!!!!đđđ I wasnât sure i would participate in this tonight, since i just moved to UK (super frightened but also super excited) and i am still on the room hunt as well as trying to see as much of London as i can, havenât seen much though đ so there am posing on the last day in Lithuania and the second one is me finally getting some cold ice cream in London!!!! so yeah, very stressful and very exciting week!
And for the 100âŚme a weakass bitch couldnât hold herself together and of course looked up the spoilers, they were a lot to handle werenât they ??đđ IâM HOPING my favorites are safe tonight, if not, well i guess iâll have to come up with a plan (TIME TRAVEL!!!!!!!!) and send it to writers for season 6 đđđđ sadly i wonât be able to watch the episode live or maybe even tomorrow??? so idk, i feel pain:// but anyway, bfsn is amazing and you all are so beautiful and kind!đđ
I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A GREAT NIGHT! but also HAVE A NICE WEEK! I love you all and Iâm going to miss it :/// đ⤠I was tagged/tagging: @twotimestom; @mommabeargriffin; @loveisalwayswise; @feliciting; @mermaidclarke; @golden-bellarke; @shadowhunthers; @madigriffen; @el-corazon-y-la-cabeza; @maddigriffin; @bellofthesky; @skyqueengriffin; @nymini; @ehmori; @valkyeet; @cosmosclarke; @mehmori; @eizagonzalezs; @rondasloves; @keiraknighted; @sunnyemori; @toopreciousbellamy; @283livesforone; @clarkeywifey; @julibernardo; @hostagetakerandhistraitor; @apheliotrophic; @nvermindiseeyou; @jiyyaaaaa; @misplacedprepositions; @skaicrew; @quintincoldwater; @sailormoony; @emorikomspacekru; @howtobeinept; @aguusmiles; @i-dont-know-how-to-quit-you; @bellblakesfreckles; @bcllamyblak; @somehow-we-manage; @theeobsessed; @clarkeywarrior; @miles-ezekiel; @the-natblidas; @bring-me-bellarke; @argentsxarrow
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