#emmett and jack are so so gender to me

[mr-voorhees-husband]

Hi hi ok I'm not the same anon, just someone else whos slightly too infatuated with Mr. Cobblepot, especially from BTAS. If you're still taking requests, can I get something with him? Dealer's choice, or I'm sure I can come up with a prompt. Thanks so much!

Yelllo! I actually wrote this a while back but I don’t believe I ever published it, so, have this gem!

Warnings: none really, minor alcohol mention, it’s a Christmas party with the rogues

Info: Btas!Oswald Cobblepot x GN(masc leaning)!reader (no gender is explicitly mentioned, but it is slightly implied in like one sentence)

“So, [Name].”

“So, Edward.” you replied, continuing to pour mugs of warm Apple Cider Moonshine. Glancing up for a fleeting moment, you were surprised to see the two green themed heros leaning on the counter, Ivy with her signature smirk, and Riddler smiling like the Cheshire cat. With a sigh, you lowered the pitcher and raised an eyebrow.

“What do you think about Pengy? Think he’s cute?” Isley purred, fully leaning against the counter and walking her fingers up your chest to boop your nose. For a lesbian, she tended to flirt with men plenty, it just seemed to be in her nature, you suppose (pun not intended).

“You know how I feel, Ivy.” you shook your head, lips unwillingly smiling at the mention of the bird-based villain. “He's sweet, cute, unbelievably polite.” Another sigh, this one an odd mix of listful and discouraged. “And way, way, out of my league.”

“Mhmhm.” Edward hummed, waving his hand dismissively at the idea. “Yes- but would you kiss him?”

“No, Edward, I wouldn't,” you drawled on sarcastically as you started to fill the last two mugs, “of course I would! I’d do it in a heartbeat. But he doesn't like me like that, Eddie.”

They shared a look, before slinking out of the kitchen without another word. You sighed, shaking your head as you poured the last mug. “Bane! Mind leadin’ me a hand in here?”

Once everyone had gotten their drinks, some with alcoholic hot cocoa, others with your Apple Cider Moonshine, and Freeze with his eggnog, the festivities had officially started. Edward had a Christmas based trivia game, Harley and Ivy with karaoke, along with several various board games and movies in the background. It was going.. amazing, surprisingly. Jervis and Jonathan hadn't fought once, Harley didn't do a single prank, and Bane didn't break anything by accident.

The night was going great, and now it was time for presents.

“Mine first!” Harley chirped, jumping up before anyone else could. “Or- Emmett's first, technically, but it's from me!” She downright leaped over Jon and Freeze to reach the tree, grabbing a small black box with a red ribbon keeping it closed. Rushing back to the group, she dropped it on your lap with a beaming smile.

“I’m.. Very worried about this.” you murmured, taking a nervous glance at Oswald who was beside you. After everyone else took their seats before him, he was forced to sit next to you, which you far from minded. “This.. This better not be a glitter bomb Harls, because if it is-”

“Just open it!”

“Okay-! Okay.” you sighed, Harley backing away which made your eyebrows raise. “Ozzie, if I go down, will you go down with me?” your words were joking, but nonetheless the less Oswald took them to heart.

“Of course, my dear owl, if you are coated in glitter, I will be too.” He grinned, scooting closer so the box was between you both. One more glance at Harley, and you tugged off the ribbon.

There was a flash of white, before something leaped from the box like a jack-in-the-box, the ‘jack’ now a couple inches above your head, between you and Oswald. you blinked, a bit bewildered, turning to glare at the clown. “Really?” It wasn't angry, more so just confused and a bit annoyed. “Better than last year's glitter bomb…”

“Look up.” Harley giggled, pointing to the jack. Oswald and you did it at the same time, and your eyes widened at the round, tear shaped leaves, and white berries.

Mistletoe.

You both looked at eachother, eyes wide and face steadying turning more red.

“Well?” Ed called from the beanbag he was sharing with Harley, grinning, “what are you waiting for?”

“Oh- I- Oswald, you don't-”

“Dear if you don't want to kiss-”

Silence, both of you staring as realization seemed to kick in. You both wanted to kiss each other, but simply just.. thought the other one didn't. That by itself was a revelation, but right now you had seven of your shared friends watching with bated breaths. you knew better than to keep them waiting, too.

In one swift movement, you ducked down and pressed your lips to Oswald’s. He squawked in surprise, but just as your companions started to cheer, he was kissing back with his hands cupping your hips. Oh, both of you were inexperienced, and the kiss was awkward, but you didn't care and neither did Oz.

You pulled away, face red both from everyone’s collective cheering that their plan had worked and from the kiss, and smiled.

“Merry Christmas, Ozzie.”

[twins-write]

Request Information

We write x reader and x OC stories/oneshots, so don't be afraid to give your character a name, unless you prefer it being the reader!

We typically write the reader as a female, but if you prefer gender neutral, let us know!

We generally write for male people/characters as well.

We write:

Fluff

Angst

Hurt/Comfort

Comfort

We do not write smut!

Feel free to send any request for one-shots/imagines, or if you have an idea for a mini-series, don't be afraid to suggest that as well.

If you request, there is no 100% guarantee that it'll be written, but we will definitely try our best to fulfill everyone's requests!

When something is requested, we will try to get to it as quickly as possible, but we are both full time students and play sports, so please bear with us!

We write for a lot of things, but here is the list if you want to go through it all! If you don't see a specific person/show or anything on the list, still feel free to request it. We might have accidentally left it out, but if not, we can still attempt to write that person for you!

You can submit requests by clicking the link at the bottom of this post or the link at the top of the blog, both will take you to a form to submit your request!

FULL LIST OF WHAT WE WRITE FOR:

Shows/movies:

13 Reasons Why

Clay Jensen

Justin Foley

911 (Lonestar and the original)

Eddie Diaz

Evan Buckley

Judd Ryder

Owen Strand

Paul Strickland

TK Strand

Wyatt Harris

American Horror Story

Jimmy Darling

Kit Walker

Kyle Spencer

Michael Langdon

Tate Langdon

Xavier Plympton

Attack On Titan

Armin Arlert

Jean Kirstein

Big Time Rush

Carlos

James

Kendall

Logan

Breaking Bad

Jesse Pinkman

Cobra Kai

Eli Moskowitz (Hawk)

Johnny Lawrence

Miguel Diaz

Robby Keene

Criminal Minds

Aaron Hotchner

Derek Morgan

Spencer Reid

Game of Thrones

Bronn

Jaime Lannister

Jon Snow

Robb Stark

Goosebumps

James Etten

Lucas Parker

Gossip Girl

Chuck Bass

Eric Van Der Woodsen

Nate Archibald

Grey’s Anatomy

George O’Malley

Mark Sloan

IT

Bill Denbrough

Eddie Kaspbrak

Richie Tozier

Jujustu Kaisen

Megumi Fushiguro

Satoru Gojo

Toge Inumaki

Yuji Itadori

Lab Rats

Chase Davenport

Marvel

Bucky Barnes

Deadpool

Druig

Loki Laufeyson

Peter Parker (Tom’s or Andrew’s)

Steve Rogers

Thor 

Wolverine

My Babysitter’s a Vampire

Benny Weir

Ethan Morgan

My Hero Academia

Denki Kaminari

Eijiro Kirishima

Hitoshi Shinsou

Izuku Midoriya

Katsuki Bakugo

Keigo Takami

Shota Aizawa

Shoto Todoroki

Takami Amajiki

NCIS (LA and the original)

Anthony DiNozzo

Eric Beale

G. Callen

Jimmy Palmer

Marty Deeks

Timothy McGee

Nerve

Tommy Mancuso

New Girl

Coach

Nick Miller

Schmidt

Winston Bishop

Now You See Me

Jack Wilder

Outerbanks

JJ Maybank

John B.

Pope

Rafe Cameron

Topper

Percy Jackson

Percy

Pretty Little Liars

Caleb Rivers

Holden Strauss

Jason DiLaurentis

Mike Montgomery

Noel Kahn

Toby Cavanaugh

Shadowhunters

Alec Lightwood

Jace Herondale

Simon Lewis

Shameless

Ian Gallagher

Kevin Ball

Lip Gallagher

Smallville

Clark Kent

Lex Luthor

Stranger Things

Dustin Henderson

Steve Harrington

Supernatural

Castiel

Dean Winchester

Jack Kline

Sam Winchester

T@GGED

Ash Franklin

Brandon Darrow

Trevor Askill

Teen Wolf

Derek Hale

Isaac Lahey

Scott McCall

Stiles Stilinski

Titans

Dick Grayson (Nightwing)

Gar Logan (Beast Boy)

Jason Todd (Red Hood)

The 100

Bellamy Blake

Jasper Jordan

Monty Green

The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

Ambrose Spellman

Harvey Kinkle

Nicholas Scratch

The Hunger Games

Finnick Odair

Peeta Mellark

The Maze Runner

Minho

Newt

Thomas

The Middle

Axl Heck

Sean Donahue

The OC

Luke Ward

Ryan Atwood

Seth Cohen

The Originals

Elijah Mikaelson

Klaus Mikaelson

Kol Mikaelson

The Outsiders

Darry Curtis

Dallas Winston

Sodapop Curtis

The Rookie

John Nolan

Tim Bradford

The Umbrella Academy

Five Hargreeves

The Vampire Diaries

Damon Salvatore

Jeremy Gilbert

Kai Parker

Stefan Salvatore

The Walking Dead

Carl Grimes

Daryl Dixon

Glenn Rhee

Negan Smith

Rick Grimes

True Blood

Eric Northman

Jason Stackhouse

Sam Merlotte

Twilight

Emmett Cullen

Jasper Hale

Paul Lahote

Seth Clearwater

Wizards of Waverly Place

Justin Russo

Real people:

5 Seconds of Summer members (all)

Ateez members (all)

Cody Fern

Jamie Muscato

Sam and Colby

Stray Kids members (all)

The Boyz (all)

Tomorrow x Together members (all)

Request form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdf15DK07JIGzKMNPC2FrEgP7ces4KfIxTngYcNwvmusaXxGA/viewform?usp=sf_link

[iirulancorrino]

But Dallas? Haunted, uncool, materialistic, understudied, deeply second-tier and determinedly urbane at the same time. Try-hards in Bottega Veneta, their endless oil-and-gas money gleaned from other people’s sweat. Dallas is the America that America don’t want to show. And yet the city has a seductive appeal. When Nobel Prize winning writer and expert chronicle of empire V.S. Naipaul covered the Republican National Convention in Dallas in 1984, he wrote: “Air-conditioned Dallas seemed to me a stupendous achievement, the product of a large vision, American in the best and most humane way: money and applied science creating an elegant city where life had previously been brutish.” Naipaul was right. Like Jack Adkisson smoothing the edges of professional wrestling for his little family empire, Dallas loves to smooth the boundaries between country and city. Here you get a luxury car to cosplay city rich, then you get actually rich, then you buy a recreational ranch to cosplay country. Maybe only Miami enjoys money on as pure a level as Dallas does. I’ve seen men in stingray cowboy boots chatting through their manicures and heard a waiter in an expensive restaurant share a bawdy anecdote from their childhood in the Panhandle as they uncork the Krüg. One of my first weekends living here, I went to Deep Ellum, a neighborhood as essential to early blues recordings as New Orleans was to jazz. It was the peak of a Friday night. I saw a glistening new canary-yellow Porsche with paper tags and a license plate frame that read PORSCHE OF SHREVEPORT crawl down Elm Street. A young woman drove and her friend rode shotgun, the top down, their hair in the wind, sugar money and refinery money drifting in their wake. What Northern Ireland is to poets, DFW is to child stars (Selena Gomez; Demi Lovato; Kaitlyn Dever; etc.). Local Millennials and Zoomers will argue that Dallas is the progenitor of “bro” as an omni-race omni-gender pronoun. There’s exceptionally good eating here: Lao, Viet, Ethiopian, various sub-genres of barbeque, seafood from Sinaloa, pozole from San Luis Potosi, Iraqi bakeries, a half dozen steakhouses so thoughtful and so good that they make one reconsider the entire genre. AT&T Stadium absolutely rules. I’m the son of a Philadelphia Irish sports zealot and—forgive me father—when I was a guest at a Cowboys game, I bought Cowboys gear for my then-infant son and snapped up a Michael Irvin shirt for myself. I hit the Emmett Smith shimmy in a hallway. I regret nothing. Critics would say that Dallas was built to house the money. Yes, it was. As were Milan and Hyderabad.

[sparkedblaze]

big ask i know BUT

whats ur favorite thing about each character in ur pinned post 👀👀

*deep breath*

Albert: I love his sass and his general assholery

Elmer: Sunshine boi™️

Jack: Angsty artist looking for a better life far away from where he is (relatable)

Davey: Again, sassmaster9000

Les: Such a little asshole, thinks the world of Jack and Davey, absolutely becomes King of Brooklyn

Mush: Sunshine boi 2: Electric Boogaloo

The Delanceys: I’m not even gonna say anything about them here. I have DOZENS of posts

Peter Pettigrew, Severus Snape, Stu Podmore, and Pandora Lovegood very special cases bc I really like the versions that I rp on Instagram (very much not canon fuck jkr)

Leo Valdez: Feels like a 3rd (or 7th) wheel all the time. Stupid jokes to cope with pain. He was my first pathetic little man

Luke Castellan: Y’all know I love villains. And the twist in the first book and then the way he moves and acts throughout the rest of the series??!!! I love him (also I wanted him to step on me when I was younger but that’s neither here nor there)

Frank Zhang: HES SUCH A TEDDY BEAR AND SO PROTECTIVE OF HIS FRIENDS 😭😭😭I LOVE HIM SM

Dabi: THE STORY?!?! ARE YOU FKING KIDDING ME?!?! BRUH IM CAUGHT UP ON THE MANGA AND HOLY FUCK DUDE

Shoto: I love him for the same reason I loved Zuko as a kid (*reminder to self watch ATLA again). He was cold and distant because of his past but has this beautiful arc about making friends he didn’t expect and coming out of his shell.

Iwaizumi Hajime: Asshole. Doesn’t put up with Oikawa’s shit. That’s enough for me 💀 Has been my husband since high school 🥰

Nishinoya Yuu: HIM SMILE SO BIG AND HIM REALLY WIDDLE AND HIM SAVE SO GOOD

Joe: 🤤🤤🤤 *clears throat* Sorry um. He’s good at cooking and he can sk8 real good and his husband is really good with technology

John Laurens: He’s so cute and devoted to the cause and LAURENS INTERLUDE MAKES ME S O B

Pip: I love Phillip so much 😭😭HES SO GOOD AT RAPPING AND SO PASSIONATE

Usnavi: I love how much he cares. I talked more about it in that ask post, but I just love him sm

Benny: THE RIFF MAN. HES SUCH A SIMP AND I LOVE HIM

JD: Ohohohoho more villains. I always attach to villains. Always always always.

Heather Chandler: See: JD, BUT ALSO THEY TURNED HER MEMORY INTO SOMETHING GOOD ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Michael Mell: YOU DESERVED BETTER. IVE ADOPTED HIM AS MY SON AND IF ANYONE THINKS MICHAEL MELL WASNT THE BEST FUCKING FRIEND JEREMY HEERE EVER HAD YOURE GONNA CATCH THESE FUCKING HANDS BECAUSE HE WAS THE BEST AND HE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER 😤

Katherine Howard: HER SONG FUCKING SLAPS AND THE SASSINESS LIVE LEAVES ME MELTING 🫠

Anne of Cleves: AGAIN. BANGIN SONG. SASSINESS LIVE. AND I GOT TO DANCE WITH HER WHEN WE WENT TO SEE IT LIVE. SHE GAVE ME HEART HANDS. T W I C E

Justin Laboy: Simp: the Sequel. My mans is just so relatable. Working hard to get into college and throwing it all away. Just for some 🍃

Emmett Forest: DWEEBUS. NERD ALERT. ILYSFM. STANDS UP TO CALLAHAN FOR ELLE. HANDLES CALLAHANS DIVORCE (on his wife’s side obv) ARE YOU BFFR?!?!

Janis: So raise your riiiiight f i n g e r- YES BITCH PREACH. FUCK GENDER ROLES. DONT PUT UP WITH PEOPLE WHO DONT CARE ABOUT YOU.

Christopher Diaz: I only just met this little shitstick but I LOVE HIM. HE HAS SO MUCH RIZZ JFC. EVERYONE LOVES HIM (and I can’t blame them????) HES JUST A LIL GUY

Athena Grant: MOM. SHES SUCH A MOM. AND SHES A GOOD MOM. AND ACAB SHOULD APPLY TO HER BUT IT DOESNT

[ferno-does-random-shit]

Nickname: I don't really have one. Sometimes I think abt going by Ciel for gender reasons.

Sign: Capricorn

Height: 5'8"

Last thing I googled: Besides the star signs, "lychee." I had lychee gummies, and I wanted to show my cousin what a lychee looks like.

Amount of sleep: usually 8-10 hours. I go to sleep anywhere from 10pm to 3am.

Dream Job: Playing drums (and possibly singing) in a band of my own. Preferably a mix of rock, blues, funk, and jazz.

Wearing: In general, t-shirts and sweatpants. Right now, pyjamas from last night.

Media that summarizes me: Not sure. I don't really get obsessed with media. Some things I love are Tears of the Kingdom, Smash Ultimate, the Beatles Anthology, Ken Burns' Jazz, and maybe She-Ra. I don't read enough for any book or series to contribute to my personality.

Favorite song: uhhh. It changes all the time, but atm it's Two of Us by the Beatles

Instrument(s): I've been playing drums for ~8.5 years, so that's my primary. I also play marimba for school and piano for my composition lessons. Somewhere along the way, I picked up singing, ukulele, and recorder, none of which I'm any good at.

Aesthetic: Maybe some kind of a comfy blue pastel goth style? Idk. I've been poking around at my gender for like a year now with no results, so figuring out how I want to look is frustrating. That's all the aesthetic I can come up with atm.

Favorite Author: uhhhhh either Mark Rosenfelder or Erin Hunter. Vastly different genres.

Random Fun Fact: I shit you not, my family took me on a year-long trip around the world when I was 5. I remember jack shit from that, but my parents documented everything.

Thass all.

Mutuals: @catboyanthem @deir-emmett @gucciguccigarbage @queer-resting-bitch-face

Okay so uh I got tagged in a tagging game so guess I'm doing this shit now.

Nickname-Bobby, sometimes I jokingly go by RNJesus due to my initials and luck that flips back and forth like a metronome

Sign-Libra. I'm looking at the wikipedia page and I have no clue what 90% of this shit means.

Height-5'9.

Last Thing I Googled-Astrological signs because I forgot what corelated with what. I think they're stupid.

Amount of Sleep-Normal nights it's 10:30-7:30 so 9 hours. Nights where I don't have shit going on tomorrow I stay up till 11:30-anywhere between 9 and 12:45. So 13 hours hypothetically but this doesn't count the time it takes for me to fall asleep or when I wake up in the middle of the night randomly.

Dream Job: Don't have one. I'm studying to be a Computer Engineer though since that's what my father did.

Wearing-Sweat pants and a green jacket/hoodie. Sometimes I switch it out for a red one. Other than that, I just wear that every single day. It's become my iconic look at this point.

Movies/books/media that summarize you: I love soulsborne stuff. Not sure if it summarizes me but I'm not sure any media does.

Favorite Song: None. Like seriously, you gotta specify which genre, whether it can be game music or not, mainstream or indie youtube creators, etc. Aviators is one of my favorite indie creators though and I love the band "A Fall to Break"

Instrument-I played recorder once in 4th grade. I was semi good at it. Does this count? I do like singing and I like to think I'm pretty decent at it.

Aesthetic- Look at my posts dumbass(affectionate). Bloodborne's gothic horror isn't something that is easily beat.

Favorite Author- Jeffery Deaver and Micheal Conelly.

Random Fun Fact- I'm like one of 2 straight guys in my friend group, and the other is a british skin walker so does he really count as human?

I tag: @ferno-does-random-shit

[brassiussimp]

I havent played ledgends arceus yet but i’m about to try and say stuff about them like i have

This is professor rowan but old

He’ll probably tell you to go to your room for sneezing

He looks mean but i also want him to be my grandpa???

He got a pokemon to do his hair

oh i know her this is Cylene

When i first saw her i thought she was just some OC or something but then i was like JEEBUS CHRIST A NEW POKEMON GAME so yeah

She’s probably nicer than Cyrus. Like i dont think she’d be a villain or anything

She’s probably lesbian or bisexual

she needs some fucking eyebrows. Cyrus’s whole family tree shaved their eyebrows.

She’s probably stern but will bake you cookies or at least give you a few berries and a drink

mom: It’s not that cold! Me:

Seriously though what the heck is that hat

He reminds me of professor Sycamore VERY VERY VERY faintly but i think it’s just the eyes

He looks nice

Can he take me gamestop?

ADAMAN AAAAA

I think that’s his name? Idk

He’s the reason i want ledgends.

He’s gay as fuck

He looks like he’ll steal your stuff and laugh about it.

He also looks like he’d sell his soul to Giritina for a bag of doritos.

Mars

She’s going to kill you in your sleep one day

She looks like that one friend that will get mad if you say something about them that isn’t even important but laugh when you joke about her dead mom

she’s cold all the time but not as cold as mr hatty hat

i’m definitely wrong lol

My new waifu

i think i know her name but

Idk but she’s hot

She’s lesbian.

She’ll probably smack you if you look at her the wrong way

she scares me now

Lucian???

They remind me of Lucian a lot. It’s probably the hair. 

They look like they’re very annoying

They care more about their hair than your wellbeing.

(i dont know gender or anything so they/them always works.)

GROOKEY OOK OOK

I feel like my cousin jacks off to her which is disgusting because she looks very young.

She looks easily annoyed

Probably a bitch

Idk she’s probably not, she just looks like a girl who would bully me.

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO INGO

ingo nooo

you and Emmett were so hot

He’s hot as always. Just super depressed probably.

I just got a raid shadow legends ad on yt

He looks like he’ll bark at you. This goes for unova ingo as well.

Actually back in unova, him and emmet probably just bark randomly

i feel sorry for him

Old man Lysandre

just look at him. Am i the only one that thinks of Lysandre?

He looks like a mean angry grandpa

Oh i know this son of a bitch Volo very well

he’s so hot but seriously he seems like a bitch

He’s even gayer than adaman

He’ll step on your foot and just look at you

He laughs when you stub your toe.

He’s probably into biting in a shrexual way

He’s a virgin and has never had a partner because he’ll just bite anyone he’s interested in out of the blue.

mommy?

She looks like that one cousin we all have

She looks very nice. Can she be my mom?

I wanna hug her

WhAT THE ACTUAL FUCK LORD FARRQUAD?

nah lord farrquad is too hot to look like that

Well yeah that’s it. I wish they had made more villain ancestors or something. I know this isn’t everyone but i dont really care.

[galos-writing]

My masterlist-

My requests are now open!

Here again the available characters for the requests:

JOAQUIN PHOENIX FANDOM

Jimmy Emmett (To Die For)

Commodus (Gladiator)

Abbé de Coulmier (Quills)

Arthur Fleck (Joker/Joker: Folie à Deux)

Max California (8MM)

Doug Holt (Inventing the Abbotts)

Willie Gutierrez (The Yards)

Clay Bidwell (Clay Pigeons)

OTHER FANDOMS

Sebastian Henshaw (The Spy Who Dumped Me)

Deadpool / Wade Wilson (Deadpool)

Gus March-Phillipps (The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare)

Captain Jack Sparrow/William Turner/Hector Barbossa (Pirates of the Caribbeans)

You can ask me for fluff, smut, angst, and particular kinks, so feel free to ask!

Also, you can suggest me for more fandoms ^^

ARTHUR FLECK

Arthur w/ a cartoonist s/o HeadCanons : You are an independent cartoonist and have a lot of work, you often finish in the middle of the night. Arthur wants to participate your project, and shows you his gratitude.

Ideological Disability // Arthur's Opinion! //, pt. 1 , pt.2 , pt.3 : What if Arthur found the courage to face Thomas Wayne in a very very cynical way? Maybe teasing Thomas’s “cultural” side, that side that he shows with so much vanity? Maybe the citizens may be way more cultured than him.

Arthur w/ dom s/o - request

Don't Leave Me (ff on AO3) [deleted, will re-write it]

Arthur flirting with Y/N - request

Age gap with Arthur - request

Arthur/Joker dating headcanons - request

SHORT - A kiss so desperate that the two wind around each other, refusing to let go until they are finished - request

Arthur x gn green eyes reader - request

ABBÉ DE COULMIER

Abbé de Coulmier x Reader // Childhood friends HCs : Madeleine doesn’t appreciate it, but you’ve been known the Abbé for a very long time.

Maybe you're right. (Abbé x Best Friend!Reader): The Abbé is tired of the Marquis’s writings and you cheer him up.

Riddle of Time, pt.1 , pt.2 , pt.3 , pt.4 , pt.5 : Charenton hides hundreds of secret, and so every person in there do.

Protège-moi (Fluff / Abbé de Coulmier x Reader), pt.1 , pt.2 : You are the betrothed of a man that you don’t even know, and the Abbé has a fit of weird and passionate jealousy for you. He sees you as someone to protect at all costs.

The Prince and the Rascal, pt.1 , pt.2 , pt.3, pt.4 : The Abbé is the victim of a fugitive’s insistent attention, and he's not the best at handling his avances.

Abbé w/ pregnant reader - request

Crazy Abbé x Director!Reader - request (pt.1 , pt.2)

Abbe x gender questioning reader - request

JIMMY EMMETT

Turn-ons for Jimmy Emmett, Max California and Willie Gutierrez - request

Jimmy and Reader to the prom - request

SHORT - A kiss that lasts so long, they are sharing each other's breath - request

MAX CALIFORNIA

Turn-ons for Jimmy Emmett, Max California and Willie Gutierrez - request

Max helps his the reader with studying - request

COMMODUS

Commodus enjoys being a sub - request

WILLIE GUTIERREZ

Be my secret Valentine - request

Turn-ons for Jimmy Emmett, Max California and Willie Gutierrez - request

Willie being jealous of his s/o - request

SHORT - Tucking their hands beneath the other person's shirt, just to see them break the kiss and gasp in surprise at the sensation of cold/warm hands on their skin - request

WADE WILSON

Was it planned? - request

[slayerwrites]

hi! i’m looking for writing partners to do some fandom 1x1′s with on discord. i don’t have any plots in mind, so this is definitely something we can discuss! i play all genders and prefer to do ships revolving around mxf, fxf with nb characters as well of course. i will also happily world build and/or do doubles. 

please read my rules first before interacting (can be found on my pinned post) also if you don't see anything you like then don't hesitate to contact me anyway and we can come up with something else! especially since I have a bad memory and chances are i forgot to add something!

below are listed the fandoms that i am interested in writing and under the cut are ships within these fandoms. please note i am not limited to these ships and i’m happy to switch things around and even add in ocs if you don’t like to write canon characters. i am also happy to do two ocs within the fandom universe, or even do some crossovers if the two fandoms work.

mcu

dceu

the witcher (netflix series)

god of war (2018 & ragnarök)

twilight

pirates of the caribbean

the mask of zorro/the legend of zorro

van helsing (netflix series)

underworld

snowpiercer (netflix series)

charmed

stranger things

disney

norse mythology (not really a fandom but didn’t know where else to put it!)

the mummy

buffy the vampire slayer

tony stark & pepper potts (mcu)

bruce banner & natasha romanoff (mcu)

peter quill & gamora (mcu)

thor & jane foster (mcu)

peter parker & mj watson (mcu - aged up)

clark kent & lois lane (dceu)

arthur curry & diana prince (dceu)

kratos & freya (god of war)

leo wyatt & piper halliwell (charmed)

phoebe halliwell & cole turner (charmed)

joyce byers & jim hopper (stranger things)

buffy summers & spike (buffy the vampire slayer)

willow rosenberg & oc (buffy the vampire slayer)

geralt of rivera & yennefer of vengerberg (the witcher)

emmett cullen & rosalie hale (twilight)

vampire oc & werewolf oc (twilight)

will turner & elizabeth swann (pirates of the caribbean)

elena de la vega & alejandro de la vega (mask of zorro)

evelyn o’connell & rick o’connell (the mummy)

selene & michael (underworld)

selene & david (underworld)

andre layton & melanie cavill (snowpiercer)

vanessa helsing & axel miller (van helsing)

jack & ivory (van helsing)

[thedefinitionofendgame]

5.17 station 19 *spoilers* reactions/opinions:

road trippin'! crazy how far these two have come since season 1 (also I love Jack's truck)

does Andy not know that Jack's gonna be Marina's sperm donor lol? I'm sure wombing reading is great just before bed

Vic calling Ben dad made me laugh + Theo's concerned face

PRU PAPERS! let's go! 👏

Natasha is being a bit of a meanie to Sullivan

"cause you might go to jail?" oh jack it is too soon for that my dude

screaming it out on station reminds me of dancing it out on grey's

I miss Emmett but the dude riding is gonna be fine (I hope)

oh god there is a Karen (idc her name is Jane) in this episode who won't recognize her child's gender. get outta here ma'am

Carina's toothbrush is pink and Maya's is turquoise. very predictable but we love them

"pretty much everything else about me is healthy so I wanted to make sure my little guys were too" ☠️ KILLED ME

this news is killing Andy's brain 😂

Andy looks at Jack: "I don't always pick bad guys" Y'ALL-

someone call a Toe Truck!

*mumbles about what they are* ...settles on ✨coworkers✨

of course karen called her bald husband 🙄 not even surprised

JACK'S PARENTS ABANDONED ONE KID BUT KEPT THE OTHER WTF

Vivie, Brooke and Abby?! there are more of them?

oh my baby jack, I love you and I'm so sorry your birth givers

"I would hate to lose my toes and my house" this guy is making jokes despite the pain and i love it

Karen shut the fuck up also they thought it would be a good idea to try to kidnap Matt while police officers were right there?

TRAVIS YOU NEED TO RUN FOR MAYOR I SWEAR TO GOD

Jack you are so brave and strong. there are people who want you. there will always be people who want you.

get the other women! you guys got this! jandy dream team

"jack I am so lucky you're my brother" NO NO NO WAIT I CAN'T SHIP THEM ANYMORE CAUSE SHE JUST FRIENDZONED HIM- (I'm ignoring the comment, I'm ignoring the comment x100 repeat)

shirtless Sullivan and Natasha sitting on his bed? please 🥵

[rosaliesgolden]

Thinking about how Rosalie is a mechanic but you’d never know if you didn’t read the book. How Emmett was basically her portable car jack and he was happy to do it 🥺 How she’s the one who upgrades their cars to make them faster and how, when Edward said that he would help Mike Newton with his car troubles, Alice suggested Rosalie take a look at it first because she knows more than Edward😂

While I know now that beauty isn’t everything and that gender doesn’t stop you from learning stuff about cars, at the age of 12 reading about a female mechanic who was pretty and feminine and better at cars than the males around her...was just *chefs kiss* and it made me want to actually learn about cars and at least know some of the basics instead of having to rely on the men around me.

There’s a lot of things the movies were missing and a lot that the books messed up on, and I know that it’s something simple and perhaps not a lot of people care about it the way I do, but it meant so much to me that Rosalie was a mechanic and I wish they’d included it. That’s my girl y’all 🥺

[1899-newsboy-strike]

Masterlist 1

Masterlist 2 (everything after 3/6/20)

I finally learned how to link things without putting the entire long link on here so here it is. I’ll probably reblog every time I update or every few times.

Last Update (3/6/20)

Current Fandoms On List: Newsies, Tuck Everlasting, Twilight, Supernatural

Newsies

Jack Kelly

Soulmate AU

Truth Unraveled (Delancey Reader)

Memories

Protective Kelly  Part one Part two 

Frenemies 

Betrayal

Savior

Flirt

Jealousy

Promise

Challenges (Jacobs Reader)

Secret Love (Jacobs Reader) Part Two

Cinderella AU Part one Part two

Headcanon (childhood with kelly)

Lose it (Morris Reader)

Secrets

His Goalie

Titanic Headcanon

Me & You (Conlon Reader)

Secret Relationship (Headcanon)

Pregnancy (Headcanon)

Pregnancy Prequel (Smut)

Cold Nights

Jack Kelly Must Die part one part two part three

Overstimulation (Smut)

Something More

Truths Revealed

Arguments Part one Part two

Wet (Smut)

Hair pulling kink (headcanon)

Trick or Treat (Headcanon)

Guts and Glory

Enemies to Lovers

Surprises

Pain Kink (Smut)

Childhood

Kid

Chase

Lucia (Headcanon)

School Troubles

Crushes

Strangers (Smut)

Joining In (Gay Smut)

Reunion

Accents

Failed Impressions

Praised (Smut)

Crutchie Morris

The Queen of New York Part one Part two

Mine (Smut)

Late Night Cuddles

Blind Date

Letters From The Refuge (Male Reader)

Siblings (Headcanon)

Comfort

Pride (gender neutral/disabled reader)

Regrets (Male Reader)

On The Road (Smut)

Rain

Innocence (gay smut)

Hardships

Icy Adventures (Smut)

Support

David ‘Davey’ Jacobs

Red

Secrets (Kelly Reader)

Tutor

Show Me (Smut)

Praise (Smut)

Apple Pie

Stay Quiet (Smut)

Jealous Sex (Smut)

Nightmares

Twins (Platonic Headcanon)

Mission (Smut)

Silence

Arguments

Lightweight

Wingman

Spy

Runaways

Fem Davey

Alleys (Gay Smut)

Teacher (Smut)

Love, Davey (male reader)

Wedding Plans 

Mommy

Spot Conlon

King Who?

Lean on Me

Falling Apart

Enemies (Smut)

Detention

Quiet (Headcanon)

Marks (Smut)

Riding (Smut)

Behind Closed Doors

Dating Spot (Headcanon)

Racetrack Higgins

Friendships Ruined

Secret Affair

A Cinderella Story Part one Part two

Best of Friends Part one Part two

I Like Me Better

Betrayal

Movie Disaster

Sunshine Vs Gloom

Escape

No One Knows

Worries

Reunion

Short Reader (Headcanon)

Breathe

Teaching You How To Read (Headcanon)

A mess (Headcanon/Small Imagine)

Tired (Headcanon)

Halloween (smut)

Caught (Smut)

Elevator Mishaps

69 (Smut)

Birthday Surprise (Smut)

Toy (Smut)

Teacher (Smut)

Discoveries (Smut)

Dancer (Headcanon)

Dominance (Smut)

Baby

Vibrations (Smut)

Stage Kiss

Mommy (Smut Headcanon)

Baby (Headcanon)

Park Adventures

Anal (Smut)

Mixups

Walks

Polar Opposites (Headcanon)

Mistletoe

Jealous (Headcanon)

New Year’s Kiss

Wingman

Birthday Fails

Drunk Confessions

Protective Siblings

Lucky Charm

Albert DaSilva

Nightmares

Broken

Crash

Sexuality (Headcanon)

Celebration

Baseball Accidents

Trouble

Walls (Headcanon)

Night and Day part two

Wingman

Anxiety (Headcanon)

JoJo De La Guerra

Night In

Broken Friendships

Scars

Mickey and Minnie

Hold Me Tight

Drowning

First Time (Smut)

Ice Cold Accident

Why He Admires You

Bashful

Exploration (Smut)

Cuddling (Headcanon)

Firsts (Smut)

Restrictions (Smut)

JoJo Headcanon

Dating JoJo

Sick

Finch Cortez

Holidays

Secret Affairs (Colon Reader)

Snowball Fights

Surprises 

Elmer

Together Forever (De La Guerra Reader)

Nerves (gender neutral reader)

Over The Phone (smut)

Shower Sex (Smut)

Katherine ‘Plumber’ Pulitzer

My Girl

Opposites Attract

Parties (Smut)

Kid Blink

Loving Secret (male reader)

Mayor’s Daughter

Insecurities

Mush

Bites (Smut)

Morris

Overstimulation (Smut)

Accidents part one part two part three part four

Smalls

How You Met (Male Reader)

Help (Headcanon)

Specs

Slipups

Skittery

Broken Pieces

Bumlets

Spinning

Dates

Moments (Morris Reader)

Tommy Boy

Sir (Gay Smut)

Les

Crush 

Wingman

Ships

Fears (Javid)

King of Brooklyn (Sprace)

Blood (Spavey)

The Three Musketeers (Almer x reader)

A Kiss to Remember (Mush x Skittery)

Something More (Mush x Skittery)

Anniversary (JackCrutchie)

Brothers (Race x Crutchie)

Exploration (Javid)

Threesome (Sprace x Reader smut)

New Found Kinks (Spavey smut)

Help (Javid)

Slip ups (Javid Smut)

Passion (Javid Smut)

Lessons (Javid Smut)

Love Confession (JackCrutchie)

Love Bites (JackCrutchie)

First (JackCrutchie Smut)

Jealousy (Sprace Smut)

Date (Sprace)

Face Sitting (Sprace)

Reflection (RedFinch)

Keeping Quiet (Spot x Jack Smut)

Daddy (Spot x Jack Smut)

Steam (Spot x Elmer)

Windows (Javid Smut)

Plus One (JackCrutchie x Reader Smut)

Blindfolds (JackCrutchie Smut)

Strangers (Sprace x Reader Smut)

Anger (RedFinch Smut)

Fears (RedFinch)

Tied Up (Spot x Elmer Smut)

Car Adventures (Almer Smut)

Attention (Katherine x Davey Smut)

Praise (Racetrack x Romeo Smut)

Friends (Racetrack x Romeo Smut)

Pain Kink (Racetrack x Elmer Smut)

Fondling (Ralbert Smut)

First Time (JoJo x Elmer Smut)

Make Up (JoJo x Mike Smut)

Dressing Rooms (JoJo x Race Smut)

Lap Dance (Jack x Race Smut)

Welcome Home (Spalbert Smut)

Endings (Race x Elmer)

Celebration (BillDarcy)

First Time (BllDarcy Smut)

All Newsies 

Kinks (Headcanon)

Relationships (Headcanon)

Meeting The Family (Headcanon) part one part two

Friends

Pregnancy Series parts one two three

Sandlot Au

Jet Lag (Headcanon)

Circus

Anxiety (Headcanon)

Breakups (Headcanon)

Christmas (Headcanon)

Bunking Arrangements (Headcanon)

New Year’s Resolution part one part two

High School

Mommy Kink

Blind

Little findings

Friendship roles

Valentines’s Day

Kinks

Prank Wars

Tuck Everlasting

Jesse Tuck

Decisions

Twilight

Emmett Cullen

Edging (Smut)

Paul Lahote

Jealousy

Shock

Jasper Hale 

Mistakes

Dating Jasper

Supernatural

Castiel

Fallen Soldier

Dean Winchester

Rock and a Hard Place (Gay Smut)

[dashing-hyphen]

Tagged by @meofthemoose thanks!!

Rules: tag 10 followers or blogs you want to get to know better.

Hogwarts house: Hufflepuff. You can probably tell by the number of exclamation points I use, ahahaha...

Names and nicknames: Emmett, but Em for short (my deadname is Emily and I used to go by Jack, but Emmett fits so much better)

Gender: Trans guy!

Star sign: Gemini!

Height: Okay, I am very short... 5’2’’...

Dream trip: To Britain! Or Ireland. Or Spain!

Average hours of sleep: Quite a lot. My meds tend to make me very sleepy.

When I made my blog: More than three years ago? I dunno!

Cat or dog person: Dogs!

Tagging @asmolsideblog @snoopyscorpio @not-lonely-but-alone @madangel19 and whomever else sees this (if they like!)

[doctah-ironholmesgrl08]

20 Followers I Like to Get to Know Better

I was tagged by @notgingerbutstillgotlegs and I think maybe one other person. I don’t know, sorry I don’t get tagged much on this blog.

Name: Catherine

Nickname: Katie

Gender: female last time I checked

Star Sign: Aquarius

Sexual Orientation: Straight

Hogwarts House: Slytherin

Favourite colour: Blue specifically Tardis Blue

Favourite animal: Foxes or Penguins or Cats depends on my mood.

Time right now: 3:34pm

Average hours of sleep: I don’t count how many hours I get, I am lucky if I sleep at all.

Cat or dog person: Cats

Favourite fictional characters: The Tenth Doctor, Alec Hardy, Kilgrave(because he is a complex villain and not the cliche type of one) Emmett Carver(like Alec but doesn’t get enough love) Giacomo Casanova, All of David Tennant’s Shakespeare roles like Hamlet, Benedick, and Richard II, Peter Carlisle, etc this list can go on forever if I keep up with character he played. Iron Man, Sherlock Holmes. Donna Noble, Martha Jones, and Rose Tyler. River Song, Captain Jack pretty much most of Ten’s companions on Doctor Who. This list will take forever so I will leave it at that. Number of blankets I sleep with: Depends on how cold I am, usually I sleep with one or 2 and I end up kicking them all off in the middle of the night. 

Favourite singer/band: I like a lot of bands and singers. Mostly right now I am listening to Chain Smokers, 21 Pilots, Imagine Dragons, Bastille, X Ambassadors, The Proclaimers, I also listen to a lot 70s and 80s music too, so it varies.

Dream trip: Well I am going on my dream trip this April when I head over to the UK for a week. 

Dream job: I really want to work at the RSC or just get a job working in theater in general, but who knows. 

Current number of followers: 512 on this blog but I have 2 other blogs I run as well and one is currently around 5000 or so followers, and the other is around 13,000 or so followers.

When did you blog reach its peak: I think maybe this is it’s peak. I don’t do much on this blog except reblog things I like and send asks or reply because I can’t with my other blogs. Seriously Tumblr should fix that, most people know me from other blogs than this one.

I will only tag a few followers for this and you don’t have to do this if you don’t want too. I hate tag things that are like you must do this blah blah blah...

@moonlightphotoedits 

@clueing-for-looks-with-john

@hahligirl56

@dontbeanassbutt

@jem-scribbles

@alaska-riversong

@fictional-downey

@jeeno2

@joi-in-the-tardis

alright that is all I am doing, and if I didn’t tag you and you want to do this then feel free to do so.

[hermanwatts]

Men are From Cimmeria, Women are From Earthsea

There has been round of blog posts in the wake of an interview I had at Jared Trueheart’s Legends of Men blog. That interview spurred a response by Jason Ray Carney who disputes that sword and sorcery is man’s fiction. Daniel Davis joined in at his Brain Leakage blog. Jason Ray responded to that. Go read these posts. Jason said that Jared, Daniel, and I were hysterical. You are not subjective when you are the object of comment. Comment if you find where any of us were “hysterical.” Jason states that sword and sorcery is “gender neutral.”

Gender neutrality: Are we talking androgyny, hermaphrodites, eunuchs, or neuters?

Sword and sorcery got its start in Weird Tales magazine with a few stories in its competitors Strange Tales and Strange Stories. I have already written on female readers of Weird Tales push back against Robert E. Howard once the Conan series got rolling. E. Hoffmann Price wrote later in Amra that Conan saved Weird Tales more than once.

Farnsworth Wright knew his readers.

Let us look at some random issues of Weird Tales. September 1932– twelve stories and one poem. Two stories by women and one poem. October 1935– nine stories, three poems; one story by a woman. March 1938– 10 stories, two poems; one story by a woman. So, the average female percentage as writer is around 10%.

Now to the letters section, “The Eyrie,” to get an idea of female readership. August 1932– 12 letters, all from men. March 1934– 3 out of 19 letters by women. September 1938– 3 out of 23 letters by women. So, female readership of Weird Tales hovered somewhere around 12-15%. This is probably a higher percentage than the science fiction magazines of the period.

Weird Tales used Margaret Brundage as the almost exclusive cover artist from 1933-1936. Most of her paintings have nubile, beautiful young women in various stages of undress. Editor Farnsworth Wright who was notoriously nervous about not alienating readers had no problem with art that would be considered offensive today. He must have had an idea of gender breakdown of readers.

The case of C. L. Moore is used as a battle cry as a True Cross for Amazon equality crusaders. I first read about Jirel and C. L. Moore from Avon’s Reader’s Guide to Fantasy in the early 80s. Ace Books did a mass market paperback collection in November 1982. I remember distinctly buying it along with two Fritz Leiber paperbacks in mid-May 1983. Back then, you could go to the local B. Dalton or Waldenbooks and get the paperback Conans, Elric, Fafhrd & the Gray Mouser, Kane, some Brak, David C. Smith, and even the Timescape Clark Ashton Smith. I tore in Jirel of Joiry finding “Black God’s Kiss” on the slow side. “Black God’s Shadow” even slower and then just bogging down and scanning through the stories. This past winter, I sat down and reread in detail and it was not a pleasant experience. Moore’s prose is painfully slow and overwritten. Her narrative also had a habit of turning into word salad at crucial scenes.

“Around the dark image a mist was swirling. It was tenuous and real by turns, but gradually she began to make out a ring of figures–girls’ figures, more unreal than a vision–dancing girls who circled the crouching statue with flying fee and tossing hair–girls who turned to Jirel her own face in in as many moods as there were girls. Jirel laughing, Jirel weeping, Jirel convulsed with fury, Jirel honey-sweet, Jirel convulsed with fury, a riot of flashing limbs, a chaos of tears and mirth and all humanity’s moods. The air danced with them in shimmering waves, so that the land was blurred behind them and the image seemed to shiver within itself.”

W.T.F?

There is one scene at the beginning of “Jirel Meets Magic” where Jirel handles a sword. That is it. She deals with adversaries as a vehicle using supernatural third parties. When you look at the plots of the stories, “Black God’s Kiss” is a captivity/kidnapping narrative. It is The Sheik with hallucinogenic passages. “Black God’s Shadow” is the second half of a romance arc. As a friend of mine said, Jirel was treated rough by Guillaume and she liked it. “Jirel Meets Magic” is Alice in Wonderland. “The Dark Land” is another captivity story. “Hellsgarde” is a haunted house story. Moore did not seem comfortable writing scenes of physical combat as I could find only one brief scene with no carnage depicted, just Jirel flailing around with her sword.

There have been three mass market and one trade paperback printings of the Jirel stories, each over a decade apart.  That puts her a notch ahead of reprints of Norvell Page’s “Prester John” series. If Jirel is such an iconic series, why hasn’t the book been in continuously in print? People like the idea of Jirel, many just don’t like reading Jirel.

I was thinking of Moore’s influence through the Jirel series. The only thing that came to mind were two stories by Tanith Lee in the Amazons! Anthologies featuring “Jaisel” that read like homages to Moore. C. L. Moore’s writing style would change. Some stories reprinted in the collection Judgement Night are listed under Moore’s name instead of “Lawrence O’Donnell.” “Paradise Street,” “Heir Apparent,” and her novel Doomsday Morning are written in a stripped-down hard-boiled manner.

CL. Moore was a gracious and lovely lady from what anyone who met her has told me. One friend did tell that in the late 1970s at a science fiction convention, she laughed at the idea she was some sort of feminist icon.

If you add up the writers of sword and sorcery in the 1930s- Robert E. Howard, Clark Ashton Smith, H. Warner Munn, Nictzin Dyalhis, Clifford Ball, David H. Keller, Seabury Quinn, Henry Kuttner, Lloyd Arthur Eshbach, Fritz Leiber, Norvell Page, and C. L. Moore, you come up with a little under 10% female participation rate, a percentage that equals that of Weird Tales and a little under the readership.

There is a type of story found mainly in Planet Stories that is not technically sword and sorcery but has the attitude of it. Poul Anderson’s “Virgin of Valkarion” is Exhibit A. Leigh Brackett was a writer for Planet Stories in the 1940s with a few stories in the 1950s. Her writing style is a cross between Edgar Rice Burroughs and Dashiell Hammett. It is an interesting case of gender ventriloquism. Brackett wrote in a faux-masculine style most of the time. Every now and then the mask would slip as in “All the Colors of the Rainbow.” I can remember sending a Leigh Brackett book to a friend of mine. He returned it unimpressed. He pointed out a fight scene where Brackett had two guys rolling around in the dirt and the emphasis was on how they were getting their clothes dirty instead of physical damage. I can remember the first Brackett I ever read was “The Secret of Sinharat” and being disappointed at the rather tame ending. I was expecting Eric John Stark (aka N’Chaka) was pile up the bodies at the climax. The follow up “People of the Talisman” was more blood and thunder. That was the story that was rewritten by Brackett’s husband, Edmond Hamilton and expanded by 40%. I need to compare the texts someday.

If we look at writers of sword and super-science for Planet Stories, the list includes: Gardner F. Fox, Bryce Walton, Emmett McDowell, Ross Rocklynne, Basil Wells, Erik Fennel, Alfred Coppel, Stanley Mullen, Poul Anderson, and Leigh Brackett. Again, the female participation rate is around 10%.

There were a few sword and sorcery stories that filtered out in the 1950s with E. E. “Doc” Smith, John Brunner, L. Sprague de Camp, and of course Jack Vance. The 1960s gave us Roger Zelazny, John Jakes, Michael Moorcock, Lin Carter, Gardner F. Fox, Ben Haas as “Richard Meade” and “Quinn Reade.” You did have Jane Gaskell’s “Atlan” books shoe horned into the genre. Those are Perils of Pauline type books featuring Cija. They are not very good but always seemed to have great covers whether by Frank Frazetta, Jeff Jones, Boris Vallejo, or James Gurney.

Leigh Brackett could have written a bona fide sword and sorcery story with an antediluvian setting and supernatural elements. Editors would have snapped up anything she wrote. She didn’t but she at least gave us the excellent Skaith trilogy which had its share of physical action.

Sword and sorcery spread out into popular culture starting around 1966 with the paperback books and the Warren magazines. You could buy Frank Frazetta posters at a lot of record stores. Bands like Nazareth were using sword and sorcery imaging on their record album sleeves.

Ted White became editor of Fantastic Stories in 1969. The magazine was a grab-bag of different types of stories. Sword and sorcery did have an increasing presence. White tapped into all sorts of artists talent and you had very traditional sword and sorcery type covers by Jeff Jones, Esteban Maroto, Doug Beekman, and especially Steve Fabian who painted idealized female bodies. Ted White must have known who was buying the magazine.

Ted White knew his readers.

In the middle 1970s, you had the next great female talent, Tanith Lee. I have written on her sword and sorcery when she died. She was unique. I prefer her stories to her novels, but her novels are preferable to much other out there.

Not Sword and Sorcery

Lee showed up in the original sword and sorcery anthologies of the late 1970s. Swords Against Darkness ran for five volumes 1977-1979. It had a total of 57 stories, seven stories and one poem by females for a participation rate of 14%. Heroic Fantasy (D.A.W. Books, 1979) had 17 entries (including some non-fiction pieces), two were by female for a participation rate of 11.7%. Tanith Lee was present in five out of six of those anthologies.

Jessica Amanda Salmonson edited to Amazons! Anthologies (1979 and 1982). Technically, they are not sword and sorcery but amazon anthologies. She was able to invert the 10% number that keeps popping up. Amazons II had 12 stories, three by men so the ratio rose to 25%. Salmonson probably took the series as far as she could though she edited two more anthologies for Ace (Heroic Fantasy).

Marion Zimmer Bradley edited the Sword and Sorceress anthology for D.A.W. Books. It has all the appearance of continuing the idea of Salmonson’s Amazons! But with an in-house writer. The books were not so much sword and sorcery but fantasy of all sorts with a feminist orientation. The first volume had 15 stories, six by men for a 40% participation rate. That would shrink in subsequent volumes. It has a type of fiction that I call “femizon” which split off into its own genre the same way Glen Cook did with military fantasy around the same time.

One last example. My favorite sword and sorcery anthology of the past 10 years is Rogue Blades’ Entertainment’s Return of the Sword. The stories were by amateurs and small press people. It has heart and sincerity. 21 stories by 22 authors, one female for a 4.5% participation rate.

Not Sword and Sorcery

A personal observation: I have known two women personally that like reading Robert E. Howard’s Conan stories. One is mid-50s, the other around 60. One is a pharmacist, the other a nurse that runs a hospital operating room. So, just like the authors, the XX chromosome readers are on the rare side. I think most women are not particularly interested in reading fiction with lots of scenes of intense physical action.

I will give an anecdote that forms opinions. About 15-16 years ago, my office manager’s high school aged daughter read The Lord of the Rings. I thought I would build on that. I lent her one of L. Sprague de Camp’s sword and sorcery anthologies, either Sword & Sorcery or The Spell of Seven. Either of those books are excellent introductions to the genre. She did not like the book as she has problems with the vocabulary. She was constantly going to the dictionary to look up the meaning of words. If you want your kid to score high on the English potion of the S.A.T test, have them read sword and sorcery fiction. Then I lent her Poul Anderson’s The Broken Sword. She did not like that at all. It really upset her. Sword and sorcery is not going to pass through the feminine filter of a good portion of the fairer sex.

This came to me this week. A good portion of women like horror especially that more in the Gothic fiction end of the spectrum. Horror light if you will. There might have been an opportunity for a clever editor to sell sword and sorcery disguised as gothic romance to women readers. Phyllis Whitney did have a story in Weird Tales in the 1930s.

Here is a writing exercise of high school or college students. Have them start with a scene of traveler in the woods looking for shelter and finding a manor or castle. See how the story breaks down between the sexes.

So to wrap this up. My friend, the late Steve Tompkins used a phrase “the exception that proves the rule.” Crunching some numbers swerves that way. The history of sword and sorcery has had a few female outliers who wrote in the genre but the 10-12% rule appears consistent for decades.

Where’s the Sword and Sorcery?

Sword and sorcery fiction may not be totally male, but it skews heavily in the XY chromosome end of the spectrum. Women were not excluded but participation was also for the most not much beyond token entries. I think gender skewed, not gender neutral is a better way to describe the genre. I think editors like Don Wollheim, E. F. Benson, Larry Shaw, and Roy Torgeson were quite happy to pick up a few female readers along the way, but they knew which side their bread was buttered on when publishing sword and sorcery. If the genre is gender neutral, why did the incoming female editors such as Betsy Wollheim at D.A.W. Books and Susan Allison at Ace Books pretty much kill off publishing sword and sorcery? Wouldn’t all the female readers keep it going?  I was there, there was a K-T event in 1985. A few books that were already probably slated made it into the later 1980s, but the genre was decapitated. David Gemmell adapted by writing 300 page + novels with an ensemble cast and lost of domestic goings on but the efficient 60,000 word novel featuring one hero was gone.

This is an example our modern society’s obsession with equalitarianism. De-gendering the genre strikes me as post-modernism. It is also risible. A few weeks ago, an endocrinologist was telling me about hormone supplementation for trans-gendering. The men upon getting estrogen become emotional and weepy. The women getting testosterone develop a sense of humor and are generally less depressed.

I can sympathize with Jason Ray Carney. He teaches at a college. If he were outed that he is interested in what is perceived as masculine fiction, outside of a few sane colleges like Hillsdale or Grove City, he would be hauled up against a tribunal by the commissars for Wrong Think.

Gender Neutral

Men are From Cimmeria, Women are From Earthsea published first on https://sixchexus.weebly.com/

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Go Ahead, Millennials, Destroy Us

By TIM KREIDERMARCH 2, 2018

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As with all historic tipping points, it seems inevitable in retrospect: Of course it was the young people, the actual victims of the slaughter, who have finally begun to turn the tide against guns in this country. Kids don’t have money and can’t vote, and until now burying a few dozen a year has apparently been a price that lots of Americans were willing to pay to hold onto the props of their pathetic role-playing fantasies. But they forgot what adults always forget: that our children grow up, and remember everything, and forgive nothing.

Those kids have suddenly understood how little their lives were ever worth to the people in power. And they’ll soon begin to realize how efficient and endless are the mechanisms of governance intended to deflect their appeals, exhaust their energy, deplete their passion and defeat them. But anyone who has ever tried to argue with adolescents knows that in the end they will have a thousand times more energy for that fight than you and a bottomless reservoir of moral rage that you burned out long ago.

Like most people in middle age, I regard young people with suspicion. The young — and the young at mind — tend to be uncompromising absolutists. They haven’t yet faced life’s heartless compromises and forfeitures, its countless trials by boredom and ethical Kobayashi Marus, or glumly watched themselves do everything they ever disapproved of.

I am creeped out by the increasing dogmatism and intolerance of millennials on the left; I felt a generational divide open up under me last year when everyone under 40 seemed to agree that Dana Schutz’s painting of Emmett Till in his coffin should be removed from the Whitney Biennial. When I was young it seemed the natural order of things that conservatives were the prudes and scolds who wanted books banned and exhibitions closed, while we liberals got to be the gadflies and iconoclasts. I know that whenever you disapprove of young people, you’re in the wrong, because you’re going to die and they’ll get to write history, but I just can’t help noticing that the liberal side isn’t much fun to be on anymore.

Yet this uprising of the young against the ossified, monolithic power of the National Rifle Association has reminded me that the flaws of youth — its ignorance, naïveté and passionate, Manichaean idealism — are also its strengths. Young people have only just learned that the world is an unfair hierarchy of cruelty and greed, and it still shocks and outrages them. They don’t understand how vast and intractable the forces that have shaped this world really are and still think they can change it. Revolutions have always been driven by the young.

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Ever since Columbine, almost 20 years ago, I’ve absorbed the news of more mass shootings than I can count with an ulcerating rage that gradually scabbed over into deadened cynicism. To those of us who have lived with certain grim realities our whole adult lives — the widening moat between the rich and the rest of us, the sclerotic influence of money on politics, the N.R.A.’s unassailable coalition of greed and fear — they seem like facts of life as unalterable as death itself.

I’d come to the conclusion that America has always been a violent nation, from our founding genocide to the slave labor that built the country to the arsenal, unprecedented in human history, that maintains our empire. We spend $60 billion a year on pets but won’t go to any inconvenience to keep second graders from getting slaughtered. Despite all our competitive parenting and mommy machismo and trophy kids, we don’t really give a damn about our children — by which I mean, about one another’s. When a race stops caring for its young, its extinction is not only imminent but well deserved. But maybe my bitter complacence about our civilization’s irreversible decline is just a projection of my feelings about my own.

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Power is like money: imaginary, entirely dependent upon belief. Most of the power of institutions lies in the faith people have in them. And cynicism is also a kind of faith: the faith that nothing can change, that those institutions are corrupt beyond all accountability, immune to intimidation or appeal. Harvey Weinstein ultimately wasn’t the one enforcing the code of silence around his predations: It was all the agents and managers and friends and colleagues who warned actresses that he was too powerful to accuse.

Once people stopped believing in his invulnerability, his destruction was as instantaneous as the middle school queen being made a pariah. Watch: As soon as the first N.R.A. A-rated congressman loses an election, other politicians’ deeply held convictions about Second Amendment rights will start rapidly evolving.

The students of Parkland are like veterans coming home from the bloody front of the N.R.A.’s de facto war on children. They’ve seen their friends, teachers and coaches gunned down in the halls. To them, powerful Washington lobbyists and United States senators suddenly look like what they are: cheesy TV spokesmodels for murder weapons. It has been inspiring and thrilling to watch furious, cleareyed teenagers shame and vilify gutless politicians and soul-dead lobbyists for their complicity in the murders of their friends. Last week Wayne LaPierre was reduced to gibbering like Gen. Jack D. Ripper in “Dr. Strangelove” about a “socialist” takeover and “hardening” our schools. You could see the whites all around his irises. That look is fear.

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One of my students once asked me, when I was teaching the writing of political op-ed essays, why adults should listen to anything young people had to say about the world. My answer: because they’re afraid of you. They don’t understand you. And they know you’re going to replace them.

My message, as an aging Gen X-er to millennials and those coming after them, is: Go get us. Take us down — all those cringing provincials who still think climate change is a hoax, that being transgender is a fad or that “socialism” means purges and re-education camps. Rid the world of all our outmoded opinions, vestigial prejudices and rotten institutions. Gender roles as disfiguring as foot-binding, the moribund and vampiric two-party system, the savage theology of capitalism — rip it all to the ground. I for one can’t wait till we’re gone. I just wish I could live to see the world without us.

Tim Kreider is the author of the essay collections “I Wrote This Book Because I Love You” and “We Learn Nothing.”