#emersion therapy

[angeygirl]

What people who don't know any better think intrusive thoughts are: I'm gonna shove an entire peanut butter cup in my mouth lol

What intrusive thoughts actually are: I really feel like having a peanut butter cup tonight, but what if I spontaneously developed a fatal peanut allergy in the three weeks since the last time I have something with peanuts in it? I'd hate to inconvenience anyone who would need to take me to the hospital so late. Tomorrow I'll eat a small bit of peanut butter to test for an allergic reaction and if I'm ok after two or three hours I know I'm safe to eat the peanut butter cup

[dukeofdune]

Today I think I made a pretty big step in my transition. I have no idea how long this is gonna be but I just wanna get my thoughts out somewhere.

So I've been up since 6, drove to training at the airport 2 hours away and then back. The original plan was to head straight to my therapy appointment since it's off the same highway I use to get home, just a farther exit. But on the way home I was feeling kinda numb and tired and I was gonna be uber early to my appointment so I decided to head home first. I think that decision was important.

Now, instead of being in my flight uniform all fancy masc and hollow I went home and center myself, dressed up a little (it's really alot but AHHHH) in some pants and the first fem shirt I've ever bought from a very femmie / woman's clothing store. On my own might I add! I only got it a few days ago and did NOT think I'd wear it so soon.

Now I'm sitting on a bench waiting for my appointment in 20 minutes. It's pretty, it's beautiful out and I feel so fucking good. Nervous, but good.

The first time I've been out and about seriously fem and not just within my neighborhood. I wanna scream and cry good god.

There's flowers beside me and a bunch of construction which feels very accurate to what I'm doing rn. Pretty (flowers) but changing and building (construction).

I think I realized today that I don't believe in destiny. There have been so many points in my life where I've felt like I've been at a crossroads. Choosing to change school in grade 6, leaving french emersion, the highschool I went to, getting into aviation and leaving home for another city during covid, and today. Today I decided it was better to feel like me than it was to feel comfortable. Fuck. I'm really me today.

After going through a brake up at the beginning of this month (and still kinda going through it still lol), I've done a fuck ton of growing and it HURTS. Like legitimately painful, but I wouldn't be here today if it hadn't happened. So to all the memories that hurt, fuck you, but thank you.

Okay this could go on forever but I love you all and thank you for being such a funny happy place for me. I mean it with my whole heart, thank you💜

[violeteyedkiller]

Stupid thread idea

Your muse putting Stan through emersion therapy to get over his fear of cats

[wanderlustt-101tn]

Cryotherapy

Cryotherapy is an umbrella term for therapeutic practices involving the use of cold water, ice or air. Cold plunging, a type of cryotherapy, happens when your body emerges in cold water at fluctuating temperatures and durations. Exposure to these bone-chilling temps removes body heat, drops internal temperatures and changes blood flow.

Research suggests ideal temperatures range between 10-15 degrees Celsius 50-60 degrees F.

How far you go into the water is totally up to you, start slow and find out what you like and don’t like about and adjust. Although you’d be surprised at what your body can handle though.

benefits of cold plunges include the following

- [ ] Decrease inflammation and also improve your immunity.

- [ ] Increase circulation

- [ ] Change in mood

- [ ] Burn calories

- [ ] If you plunge before a workout you can exercise less muscle soreness

- [ ] Tightens your skin

- [ ] Reduces tension

- [ ] Mental health benefits as well

- [ ] Accelerates metabolism

- [ ] My favorite helps you sleep

- [ ] Another favorite it’s a great self care/love exercise to do because it shows you how much your body can handle in conditions like cold water emersion.

- [ ] Stimulates nervous system & etc.

Interesting facts

Did you know that cold water can help constrict blood vessels which reduces blood flow to affected areas, so basically since your vessels were narrowed the body’s response is to push blood back into all areas of the body as fast as possible, so getting out is like the best part.

This is something you want to spend time researching, find out what way you’ll start your Cryotherapy journey. Also start slow

5-10 mins in the water and gradually increase the duration.

It’s also important to stay hydrated before, during and after and make sure to warm up afterwards in warm clothes & warm shower. *also remember to not warm up to quickly as that can cause more side effects.

Potential risks

Hypothermia: were you aware that water removes heat from the body 25 times quicker than air. Water that’s lower than 70°F can cause hypothermia. So it’s important to always check temperatures you’ll be doing your plunge at.( not just weather outside but the temperature of the water you’ll be in.)

The body’s function drops with temperatures hypothermia starts to interfere with not only movement but thinking skills as well. signs and symptoms: shivering, bluing of the skin and loss of consciousness.

Cold shock and drowning is another major risk factor in cold water plunge.

Cold shock is the body’s way of responding to a rapid decrease in temperature and might cause an involuntary gasp to occur, hyperventilating which could lead to inhaling water into your lungs. So because of these serious risk factors it’s best to go at your pace, if you are plunging in cold weather outside, and cold water temperatures it’s best to have someone with you.

Tips for plunging

- [ ] It’s suggested not to rely on this type of therapy everyday and to space it out

- [ ] Don’t over think it

- [ ] Have a countdown

- [ ] Breathe!!! It’ll be fast at first work to slow it down

- [ ] Have a mantra!

- [ ] Get out and move your body

- [ ] Don’t let temperatures be too comfortable or painful

- [ ] Once your legs start to shiver get out immediately

- [ ] Don’t rely on cold therapy as your only recovery tool

What to bring with you for a plunge?

Clothes that are lose fitting and easy to remove for after plunging and change into something warm.

No costumes that will weigh you down

Shoes or socks so you don’t slip.

Hat, headbands anything you like to stay warm while watching others jump if you decide to.

Have someone with you in the sideline watching so they can monitor you during and after.

[lamilanomagazine]

Donazione di sangue, un atto di altruismo che salva la vita: l’analisi di Serenis

Donazione di sangue, un atto di altruismo che salva la vita: l’analisi di Serenis. La donazione del sangue ha un impatto significativo sulla vita di molti, in quanto ogni anno solo in Italia salva circa 630 mila persone. Soprattutto i pazienti affetti da patologie croniche sono beneficiati da questo gesto altruistico. Inoltre, secondo Serenis e Fondazione Telethon, compiere un atto di altruismo giova non solo al prossimo, ma anche a se stessi. Infatti, un gesto generoso come quello di donare il sangue aumenta il livello di gioia e stimola il meccanismo di gratificazione nel cervello. C'è un motivo dietro la scelta di donare o meno il sangue? Serenis, una piattaforma di psicoterapia online, ha condotto un sondaggio coinvolgendo 235 partecipanti per cercare di capire cosa si nasconde dietro a questo gesto. Le motivazioni che guidano la donazione del sangue: le evidenze emerse dalla survey Secondo i risultati ottenuti, il 59% degli intervistati si è rivelato essere donatore. Tra di loro, soltanto il 14,9% ha riferito di aver smesso, principalmente a causa di malessere pre o post prelievo, o a causa delle rigide condizioni richieste per la donazione. I non donatori rappresentano il 40,8% delle persone intervistate, bloccate da paure come quella per l'ago (nel 14,4% dei casi). Tuttavia, solo il 17% degli intervistati riporta sensazioni negative come ansia e paura legate alla donazione. Le emozioni positive, come altruismo, orgoglio, benessere, gratitudine e soddisfazione, prevalgono quindi nella maggior parte dei casi. La psicoterapeuta cognitivo-comportamentale di Serenis ed esperta di Superhero Therapy, Martina Migliore spiega che: “Il nostro lato sociale, quello che ci spinge a stare insieme e ad aiutarci, è fondamentale per farci sopravvivere. Ma perché aiutiamo gli altri? Per incentivare lo spirito di solidarietà, la compassione o per compiere un atto di fede: in molte religioni, infatti, aiutare il prossimo viene considerato un principio centrale. Ma possiamo anche farlo per occupare il tempo, incontrare nuove persone, ridurre il senso di colpa o ricevere gratificazioni. Insomma, per premesse più “egoistiche”. Per esempio, una persona può scegliere di donare il sangue perché ritiene che sia un dovere, avendone la possibilità, ma forse nel suo processo decisionale influisce anche il vantaggio di controllarsi periodicamente, grazie alle analisi regolari e gratuite. Questo ovviamente non toglie il valore del gesto, né rende la persona meno “altruista”, anzi, sapere che fare del bene può giovare anche a noi stessi può essere un motivo ulteriore per impegnarsi nel volontariato o nella beneficenza”.  ... #notizie #news #breakingnews #cronaca #politica #eventi #sport #moda Read the full article

[bluegamercatlady]

Sonic headcanons 7

Amy Rose the hedgehog had Prosopagnosia, also known as face blindness, which means she can’t recognise people’s faces. She also has Deutan colour blindness. This explains why she has trouble telling other hedgehogs apart from Sonic. She hasn’t been diagnosed and the others don’t realise and think that it’s just her outgoing and rambunctious attitude.

 Tails the fox is trans gender. He was originally a female but felt like he should have been a male. His friends all respect his decision and refer to him with male pronouns.

 Sonic the hedgehog sees Tails as his little brother rather than just his best friend and takes care of Tails. Both him and Tails are orphans and they live together. He is very protective of his little brother, like all his friends, but he is particularly protective of him.

 Tails is autistic and mechanics is his special interest. His repetitive tail flicking is a stim he uses to calm himself down and he does this also when he’s excited. Tails has a need for routine, he has trouble with sarcasm and reading social cues, he often infodumps people, has hyper fixation on his projects, often doubts his abilities when something knocks his confidence and is extremely empathic. Amy, Cream and Sonic will usually stop what they’re doing to listen to Tails when he starts to infodump them, even though they might not understand all his science and mechanic’s jargon, they adore hearing how enthusiastic he is.

 Sonic has ADHD. This explains his hyperactivity, impulsiveness and inattentiveness. He really struggles to concentrate on things, which makes sitting still hobbies and activities like movies and art really difficult for him. It also makes reading incredibly frustrating and stresses Sonic out considerably, as he enjoys reading epic adventure novels and can’t focus on his book long enough to get emersed. He also suffers from insomnia and it can worsen his ADHD, as people with ADHD tend to need more sleep. He often sleeps when he can, which could be on a roof, in a tree or on Tails’ sofa.

 Rouge the bat is a Kleptomaniac, especially with shiny things. Despite her chilled demeanour, its actually really difficult not being able to control the urge to steal things. Shadow the hedgehog, E123 Omega and the GUN commander, Abraham Towers have attempted to send her to therapy, which she finds incredibly embarrassing, as well as stressful. She hates people judging her.

Knuckles the Echidna independently discovered that it wasn’t just precious jewels and the Master Emerald but a mixture of things that Rouge would steal. He would offer her interesting objects he found on Angel Island to take in place of the Master Emerald. Sometimes, they both go on treasure hunts together and Knuckles persuaded her to go to therapy, much to everyone else’s relief. She has gotten slightly better with therapy.

[asighttoseetravel]

Overcoming Driving Anxiety

So one of the MAIN reasons I wanted to start road tripping across the country was to help me get over my driving anxiety...

When I backpacked Europe alone, it TRUELY helped my social anxiety so much. I know emersion therapy works. It’s not fun when you think about it, but it works.

And driving through both New Mexico and Arizona really pushed me more then I have been since I started this road trip in New York. 

The drive started out pretty easy, but once I got to my first point of interest for the day and then realized I couldn’t even go, I noticed a crash on I40, the route I was supposed to take across the state. They closed the road. So I was forced to take a ton of back roads through the mountains...

I stopped for some goats on a 55mph road, but luckily no one else was around so we were all safe! That was the best part of this part of the road, almost no other cars. And honestly, it was so beautiful!

So beautiful up until I jumped back on the end of I40 when the sun was setting and could barely see anything.. 

I don’t know how these trucks could see the cars they were flying past at 80+mph, but I was not understanding it. I drove for a little over an hour in that sun before it finally set behind a rock. Don’t get me wrong, it was beautiful, but it would’ve been a lot more beautiful from anywhere but the drivers seat of a car...

Since we spent the whole day driving, we rested up at our motel before jumping back on the road the next morning in Arizona, where I was faced with another challenge. 

Curvy, high altitude mountain roads...

See the thing is.. these roads wouldn’t be scary if it wasn’t for other people on them. Thats what terrifies me. Because people are stupid when they drive, we all know this..

And this being my first time on these types of roads.. of course I’m gonna take them slowly. The speed limit was 35 most of the time to begin with it. But its the trucks that come up behind me going 50+ miles an hour down these curves that get me every time...

But.. I did it. I survived driving on not only these roads, but crossing the entire city of Pheonix from the east side to the west side, right at the beginning of traffic hour. And I’m so proud of my self for this.

The more I do it, the easier it gets, and the more I get to see...

If you have driving anxiety like I do.. please don’t let it stop you from doing whatever it is you want to do. And if you want to know how I prepared for this road trip and the steps I took to get here, check out my full video HERE!

[selene-tempest]

Our Brains.

Brains is fun to hug, he really is. It makes me laugh every single time you do it. It's like he just never expects spontaneous affection from anyone.

He was in for a rude awakening with me. I hug everyone and everything for absolutely no reason what so ever. OK, maybe I do have reasons sometimes, like if they look particularly cute or they are having a bad day, but there's just something about Brains that makes me want to squish the every loving crap out of him.

I remember the first time I met everyone. I first saw Gordon, even if it was upside down. He was there with this big grin on his face and I said to myself "He's gonna be trouble." but the good kind, you know? He might have been an absolute nightmare as a rescuer but later that night he keep my attention as I went through the second scariest moment when I faced the needle of doom.

And then up lumbered Virgil, giving me this smile that said "Hi, don't worry, I'm here, you can trust me." and gods did I trust him. I'd trust him with anything, my keys, my car, my tools, my bank account, anything, just not to get me out of that tree. A witch has to have some self preservation you know. Virgil gives the best hugs, I know everyone says that but it's true, he's got these strong arms that feel like a bubble around you and you know nothing will touch you in them. He glared at the doctor waving the syringe around and warned him not to hurt me, then buried my head in his chest until it was all over. Honestly I don't remember much of it. I might have lost some air supply smothered against those pectorals of his, but what a way to go, eh?

But much as I liked them, they weren't who I truly needed that night. No, I wanted that silver tongued god I'd been talking to in outer space and no one else would do. Its pretty obvious that the first time I met John was life changing.

Then Scott ambled up, flashed me those dimples in a grin that clearly said "I got this shit" and I wasn't sure if my dignity would ever be intact again with him around. He's got that vibe, that vibe that says he'll get you home safe but you'd probably shit your pants at how fast he does it. High octane is our Scott.

Then Alan, oh that baby, I just wanted to wrap him up in a blanket, snuggle him to death and feed him cupcakes.

But Brains, I had literally no idea what to make of him. He was friendly in an over enthusiastic, babbling at me in Sciencees until my head spun kind of way. But so sweet with it.

Brains has this moment about him, when he's not sure of himself. It's not that he doubts his brain power, not at all, but it's like he doubts himself. He reminds me so much of John in that way.

I walked in to find him sat on the couch, looking confused, squinting at his readouts and his face was just a picture of misery. I know nothing about anything of value, but I know when a hug is needed.

I scared the crap out of him. I didn't think, I just leant over the couch, wrapped my arms around him and gave him a squishy witchy hug (patent pending).

He jumped like he'd been shot and went bright red, getting all flustered and stammery. Then he backed off and ran out of the room like his butt was on fire.

I was so worried that I'd offended him or upset him in some way. So I tracked down the love of my life. It went like this:

"John, I broke your scientist, sorry about that."

"You did what?" Confusion, thy name is John Tracy.

"I broke him."

"And how, pray tell, did you manage that?"

"I hugged him."

"Oh."

"Yes, oh! What do I do? How do I fix him? Is this permanent? He ran away so fast I think I saw smoke."

"That's just Brains." That was the wisdom he gave me.

"I'm gonna need more than that, babe."

And that's when I heard the story.

Brains was orphaned at the age of eleven when a hurricane struck his family home. He had no family that could be traced and after floating in the system for a year his incredible brain power made him known to a Cambridge professor who adopted him.

But although he had a relatively happy childhood after that, where his need to acquire knowledge and to indulge in experimentation and inventing was indulged, he lacked the familiaral affection he'd gotten from his parents. His adoptive father cared for him, but more like a teacher would a favourite student than a father.

He'd met Jeff while he was studying, on the fast track to greatness but his abilities were far outstripping the offers he was getting due to his age. To put it simply, no one dared take a chance on a youngster like him. No one but Jeff.

John told me that Brains had gotten better with them all, he now understood their teasing and no longer took it personally, although he still over analysed or took it literally from time to time.

Brains hardly ever reaches out for affection, he's too analytical for that. He only ever does when he's so excited he forgets to think.

John got in the crossfire of that once and froze, two semi-antisocial hermits who didn't know what had just happened. But it was Brains, someone he was comfortable with, so John had just gone with it, patted him on the shoulder and let him know that there was nothing to be embarrassed about.

And now I'm here, poor Brains. He doesn't know what's hit him. He gets hugged when he least expects it all the time. I call it emersion therapy, the boys call it the Selene effect.

He's gotten used to it. He's gotten used to me. He no longer runs. He doesn't stammer. He doesn't panic. He stiffens, then relaxes and occasionally, very rarely, as beautiful as the sun coming up after a long, dark winters night, he'll hug me back.

I love those moments, those times when he's so excited that he'll grab you and hug you without thinking. That's the real Brains, that's the sweetheart that I adore.

That's the one that everyone should know about. The one that makes bad jokes and shouts out his little random ideas without any context, the one that asked me to make a scarf for MAX because his circuitry was feeling delicate that week.

That's our Brains.

That's the one I wish more people saw.

For @drileyf, thanks for the picture submissions.

[decayedprincess]

Chapter 2

I spent a day and half in the center. She could only hold me for seventy-two hours without my permission, unlike before when I had endangered my own self. I played the part. I lost track of time. I went to the group session and I was angry. 

I hated them for keeping me from him. 

She was keeping me from him. 

He could be gone. On a plane… or gone forever! 

Disappeared. What if something happened to him and I was in here. 

The worn magazine lay beside the bed as if I had never left it. It was the first inked mag I’d ever read. The first article. It drew my thoughts back into the pit of despair. Is that what she wanted? Me to spiral back out of control and have the urge to end it all again. 

What if I missed my shot and it was the only one I would have gotten? 

What if… my mind had played many scenarios in my head. 

Her mistake, but my gain was that she didn’t take my phone away. 

Sucker!  I could follow their posting of fresh ink online. 

“Tassa,” Patricia said louder. This means she had been talking to me and I was zoning out. “Phones are a privilege…” 

I hold a finger up and shake my head. “Um, no, don’t lie… or white lies me. My property and I didn’t sign up for this. So the emersion therapy was not what I asked for. I am fine. Great even.” 

She seemed to let that one go… for now, and move on to someone else. I was being defiant and angry. 

I did all the things she had advised me to do. I did move my stuff back into Preston's Penthouse without him knowing until he peeked into the room and saw my plastered walls. 

“So your back then?” He had replied… after all he hadn’t seen the mess I’d made of the house he had bought me to live in. Across town. In the suburbs where all the yoga pants and ponytails go to die. I was in hell. I hated it there. No city hustle and bustle. It was quiet and alone.

I always made it back for my group sessions so Patricia didn’t need to know that I was following Shace…. Mmmm just thinking his name on my lips was like cherries and cream sliding down my throat. I moaned softly at the thought of tasting him. I wasn’t really at the penthouse much anyway, I was following him on a plane, train, car, trolly…  following the love of my life, he just didn’t know it yet. 

“Let's talk about your brother?” Patricia probed again, the group had left and I just shook my head. I didn’t want to play this game. Other than the first omission of the issues we endured before Preston had taken me away… I wouldn’t talk about it again. No. 

“Pass…” I muttered as I tied the strings together on day two of a friendship bracelet I was making for the colored-haired one at the shop. Maybe if I made her a present she’d stop mean mugging me every time she saw me standing outside the shop. I almost made it inside once… but I chickened out walked up to the door she held it open and I walked away. 

NutterButter. 

Peanut butter brittle pants. 

Or maybe it was her face and she’d invite me for a smoke, or drinks… I could have girlfriends who didn’t want my man. 

“Natasha…” she started and I gasped at her use of my full name now… that we knew one another. “Tassa, would you like to talk about Shace?” I didn’t like how she said his name as if he wasn’t real. 

“No,” I replied not with her, not with anyone. 

No one would understand what he was to me. 

How his art makes my heart pound out of my chest. 

How every gift I leave I leave a bit of myself with him. 

That I stole his hoodie to be closer to him because the one time I did have the chance. Up close and personal with him, I froze. I wasn’t paying attention. I had just taken the dark material from the stool at the back alley of the shop.  I just walked up and picked it up. The colored-haired girl had just come out the exit with a joint or vape pen in her fingers. I couldn’t remember or wanted to because her face turned sour and I spun on my heel to leave. I walked right into his chest. A small squeal had left my mouth… as I leaned into him, tiny fingers reaching out to steady myself. 

Ya, that… ha. Stupidly I sniffed him, it was instinctual. He smelled of oil, disinfectant, and colors. His chest vibrated with words spoken but they were lost on me as he moved past me and into the door she had just come out of. I just stood there dreamy-eyed. Hoodie tucked up under my arms as if I hadn’t just stolen it from him. 

What if that had been my only chance and now… well, I sucked at life. 

Miss color may have said something to me but I didn’t hear it, I just sped walked away. 

Patricia would pull me back into the discussion or try to when my mind would flutter away. she just watched me for the rest of the session. In the end, she spoke about releasing me. Only if she was sure I wasn’t a danger to me or… Shace. 

“Do not contact him!” I demanded… and she seemed shocked I would even say that. 

“Natasha,” she began and I squished my face up and looked away. “Tassa, what would I say? You have an admirer and she may try to contact you? She is a danger to those around her, get a restraining order?” Her questions continued, she was protecting me. I didn’t like it. Her sarcasm was dropped in buckets of shit show that was me. I dreamily held my chin in my palm as I looked out the window. I pulled my hoodie over my mouth with a sigh. I made all the promises needed. I would not follow him around. I would not go to the shop. I would not leave gifts illegal or otherwise, for someone, I did not know. 

I lied. 

I’ll be a good girl. I rolled my eyes, took the new prescription, and was released into… yep, Preston’s care. She would tell him everything. My diagnosis, BPD, Manic bipolar, and a touch of psychosis. My medications. My… failures.

I was spiraling down the pit as she allowed me some common room time. I sat with my legs under me as I finished the friendship bracelet that I’d leave for the colored-haired one. As I wove the colors together my eyes went wide as I found myself alone in the room, all except, Preston who was leaning against the door frame. My face was red hot, with anger and shame. 

I lied so… she did in return. Well played! His lean frame was leaned against the doorway. “What trouble have you gotten into now?” I looked at the backstabbing Patricia, my therapist with wild rage in my eyes she had mirth in them dancing at his playful tone. 

“Seriously?” I demanded as I stared at him. He looked almost amused but the air was concerning. 

Patricia smiled, I fucking hated her right now, as they got closer to the couch I sat on and it was like a telly intervention when they both sat in the chairs opposite each other my feet kicked up on the coffee table as I tried to hide. Preston was rubbing his face with a heavy hand. His ink dark shadows of himself. I wasn’t regulating my emotions an outburst was building as I continued to watch this unfold. Fight or flight. I was panting. I tried to calm.

“I am sorry!” I screamed. “I’m so fucked up… Why did she do this to us?” I blurted out. This was part of my BPD emotions that didn’t stay in place. Outbursts were normal. I screamed pulling at my hair. Patricia just stopped talking for a moment. Let me have my moment and get back to business. Telling Preston that much of my quirks were undiagnosed issues. 

 I would be getting an earful from him having to be a part of the system over me, again. I’d been out of the system for many years now, and when I had turned eighteen we had hit the bottle hard because DHS, CPS, and all the other acronym services couldn’t threaten to take me away from Preston if he didn’t shape up.  

“As I told you over the phone I am concerned with her obsession…” I tuned the rest out as I dropped my boots to the carpet and looked at Preston. He was staring at me, not with anger… and I was surprised. Mother had fucked us up… we had different fathers and I never knew mine. He did know his… and he was a piece of work that took mothers' money and took other things that he didn’t own. I rubbed my face and tried to scrub the thoughts. The memories away. Not here. Not with him… NO!  My father could have been… Her pimp, her dealer… the list went on who it could have been. As I mouthed ‘I’m sorry it was as if he was thinking the same thing. He was hard on me but I knew why. He wanted me to better myself. Do something more. Don’t fall down the rabbit hole that our skank of a mother had. 

I was falling Alice style and following the rabbit… and he was divine. 

[mxalexwhat]

I've had negative feelings about the word "daddy" for a very long time and I feel like Dungeons and Daddies is the perfect emersion therapy to turn that into a positive feeling instead.

[violeteyedkiller]

Nibbles isn't the prettiest cat - but he's friendly. V presents the hairless little guy to Stan. "He's real sweet, I promise." (I hope this is ok!)

E-MEOW-sn Therapy (get it? like emersion) || Accepting

"Um...I bet."

He's just casually taking out his cigarette case, totally not to calm any nerves that might be cropping up with those big eyes staring at him...

@writtenrotten

[mattkeepsrambling]

“The Shining” lives up to its legacy

I have been slowly watching more and more horror movies. I think of it as emersion therapy for the moviegoer. Part of this happened naturally, and part of this has been because of a podcast. Alex Goldman and PJ Vogt, hosts of "Reply All," recently did a miniseries called "The Scaredy Cats Horror Show" where Goldman (the horror fan) gives Vogt (the scaredy-cat) a horror movie to watch. The ultimate goal is to prepare Vogt to be able to watch "Get Out." I don't have a film I am trying to watch (though, "Get Out" is pretty tame for a horror movie). I want to expand my film knowledge.

This past week, I got to one I had wanted to see but was also kind of dreading: "The Shining." Years ago, I bought a Stanley Kubrick boxset and made my way through it this past week (hence the post about "2001: A Space Odyssey"). On Thursday, I finally arrived at "The Shining." I was a bit worried. I have gotten pretty comfortable with horror movies in the past year or so, but for some reason, this one gave me pause. I think it was the specter of this movie that worried me. It is up there with the best horror movies of all time and one of the best films. I thought this might be the horror movie that brings me back to that "scaredy-cat" I used to be.

Jack Torrence (Jack Nicholson) gets a job as the winter caretaker of The Overlook Hotel. He and his family move in and soon discover that this hotel holds a dark past. I loved "The Shining." It is such a brilliant movie on so many levels. Tone, performances, directing; there is not one thing I did not like about this movie. I am so mad at myself for this staying on my list of shame for so long. I have been depriving myself of this movie and all the lore around it for a long time. This movie is so creepy, and that tone makes this movie what it is. Anytime Danny (Danny Lloyd) is tearing around the hotel's hallways on his big wheel, and that score kicks in, you cannot help but tense up. You don't know what is going to happen, but it can't be good. The emptiness of the hotel lends itself to this off-putting atmosphere. As the viewer, you cannot get settled because you feel like something terrible will happen at any second. Jack

Nicholson is fantastic. At the beginning of "The Shining," he is a confident, loving family man. Then slowly, as the Outlook seeps into Jack's psyche, he goes crazy. The transformation is complete when he walks into The Gold Room, saddles up to the bar and orders a drink. There are so many scenes where Nicholson seems perfectly cast as the unhinged Jack Torrance. He gives the best creepy grimace in the history of cinema.

I am ashamed that it took me this long to see this movie. It is one of my favorite Kubrick movies of the ones I have watched thus far. I am beginning to see how there is an art to a good horror movie. You don't need jump scares and gore to be horror. The movies I have watched and love, don't rely on those typical horror tropes. There is an art to making the viewer uncomfortable and building on that feeling again and again. That is what this movie does so brilliantly.

9/10

Rated R

2hrs 24min.

[dreaming-of-the-day-when]

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

I swear on everything that this is the best fucking game ever.

Fuck all your pussy ass games like Fortnite. that shit sucks. The Elder Scrolls is where it's at. I'm 16 and ive been playing this game for years now. I think the first time I ever played it I was 10 and I automatically fell in love. I've been through some pretty rough shit and this game got me through all of it. When I play the game I get so emersed in it that I forget about everything in my real life. It's my home away from home. when im sad and all I wanna do is cry I play oblivion, when im angry and I wanna hit a bitch guess what I do, I put on my chameleon enchanted items so im completely invisible and I kill everyone in the imperial city. yeah its a little fucked up because you become connected to some of the characters in the game but I can always reload and fix it. 

Ive been through a lot with this game. its seen me at my worst and my best, and yes I understand that im talking about it like its a person. When you connect to a video game you really connect with it and this is mine. I have a poster of the Cyrodiil map on my wall and I have the oblivion walkthrough book, and I'm just waiting to get more stuff. Oblivion is my therapy, and it helps more than I care to admit. The Elder Scrolls just hits me in a sensitive part of my heart. I bought the original Xbox just so I could play Morrowind. I Have the Xbox 360 version of Skyrim and Oblivion, and on my pc, I have Battlespire, Arena, Daggerfall, Redguard, Dawnstar, Shadowkey, and Oblivion and Morrowind. I've played all of them and I love them all but I connect the most with Oblivion.

This post isn't me trying to argue with others about which game is better, this is all just my opinion. My personal favorite is Oblivion and im not gonna argue if someone tries telling me that Skyrim is better because thats their opinion. I just wanted to thank Bethesda for creating this game series that I hold very dearly in my heart.

[seriestrash]

The List - Chapter Three

- 1 - 2 -

Summary: It’s summer vacation and TJ and Cyrus fill their days checking things off Cyrus’ list.

Read on AO3

Chapter Three: +3

Word Count: 2073

It’s late into the second week of summer and TJ and Cyrus have been checking things off the list with hast. Cyrus’ park day with TJ had boosted the younger boys confidence immensely and he was tackling things with a relative amount of ease. TJ works one morning and two afternoons a week but other than that TJ and Cyrus had been consistently spending their days together when their parents would allow.

In the past week Amber had stayed for dinner one night after her therapy session which was awkward to begin with - dining with the lady she has to open up to - but once she and Cyrus broke away to watch a movie together it was natural and full of easy laughs. Cyrus thought it worked out perfectly that Amber’s sessions were on a Tuesday evening because TJ was occupied at the gym. 

Today TJ and Cyrus head to the virtual reality arcade together for another task on the list. As per usual, the two end up messing around a lot and playfully get off task. Cyrus found the total emersion of the VR completely terrifying and TJ found that completely amusing but without being facetious. 

After completing the task and a bit more mucking around, the two decide to take a break from the games. TJ makes his way to the restroom whilst Cyrus secures a table. Cyrus hadn’t even been seated for a minute when a familiar face approaches him.

“Hey, Marty!” Cyrus greets him warmly.

“Hey, Cyrus, are you here alone?” Marty pricks up a brow and quickly lets his eyes scan the room. Cyrus suspected he was trying to work out if Buffy was present.

“No I’m here with TJ.” Cyrus announces.

Marty scrunches his face in confusion, “As in Kippen? As if the guy that’s a jerk to everyone, Buffy included?”

“TJ is just misunderstood.” Cyrus frowns lightly, “He’s different now to how he was.. You two would probably be really good friends if you gave him a chance.”

Marty gives Cyrus an unconvinced look and then nods his head as if he were motioning towards something. Cyrus turns back and finds TJ approaching.

“Hey, Marty.” TJ nods in the other boys direction as he sits at the table.

An awkward few seconds pass and Cyrus scrambles to quickly fill the silence. “So, Marty, are you here with anyone?”

“Nah, my mom’s across the road at the grocery store. I thought I’d kill time in here.” Marty answers. 

“Do you come here much?” TJ tries to contribute but Cyrus could tell his friend felt uneasy.

“Only once before.” Marty laughs awkwardly and Cyrus grimaces.

“Am I missing something?” TJ doesn’t understand the look they exchanged.

“He came here on a fake date with Buffy.” Cyrus explains.

“Jonah and Andi were there too.” Marty adds. “They were on a real date.. I think..  Actually I have no idea.”

Cyrus laughs because he was all too familiar with the awkward beginnings of Andi and Jonah. “Those were dark and confusing times, I’m not sure either of them knew what was going on.” Cyrus jokes and Marty chuckles lightly.

TJ folds his arms and coaxes his head as he looks across at Marty, “So are you still obsessed with Buffy?”

“I’m not obsessed with Buffy!” Marty says defensively.

Cyrus turns to TJ with a disapproving look.

“What?” TJ shrugs his shoulders at Cyrus, “Everybody knows he had a huge crush on her, it was very obvious.”

“Doesn’t mean we need to address it at the table.” Cyrus says in a hushed tone as if Marty couldn’t hear their conversation.

“I had a crush on Buffy, past tense and I was not obsessed.” Marty folds his arms like a huffy child and TJ wears and amused smirk.

“You have a girlfriend now, right?” Cyrus tries to steer the conversation somewhere new.

“Had, past tense.” Marty repeats with an exhale. 

“Did you break up because you’re still obsessed with Buffy?” TJ bites down on his smile as he anticipates Cyrus’ disapproving stare. Surely enough, Cyrus whips his wide-eyed and unimpressed look in TJ’s direction. 

“Yeah he’s a real angel now, Cyrus.” Marty rolls his eyes. 

“I’m just kidding,” TJ says genuinely although his smile contradicted his sincerity. 

“What about you, Cyrus?” Marty decides to let the teasing slide. “Do you still talk to that high school girl?” 

“Amber?” Cyrus furrows his brows. 

“The girl from The Spoon?” TJ questions as he had sat through her overly chatty service whilst there with Cyrus.

“No, her friend, the one you and Jonah double-dated with?” Marty clarifies.

“You dated a high school girl?” TJ seems surprised. 

“Iris.” Cyrus confirms and he realises he hadn't thought about her in a while. “No, we’re just friends.” 

"Too bad, she was cute.” Marty processes that with a nod.

“So Marty, are you going to try out for the basketball team again next year?” TJ clears his throat. 

“I think I might focus on track season first and decide about basketball later.” Marty tosses his head from side to side before settling upright again, “I heard Buffy was starting a girls team for next year though.” Once Marty notices TJ’s smirk return he rolls his eyes, “I know that from a friend who wanted to tryout, not because I’m obsessed with her.” 

TJ chuckles quietly and from there all awkward tension was relinquished. Marty and TJ continue to chat basketball and Cyrus loses interest quickly as he didn’t know how to contribute to the conversation.

“You look bored, Underdog.” TJ nudges Cyrus with his arm. 

“Me? I love sports, shooting hoops,” Cyrus exaggerates his enthusiasm, “Maybe I’ll try out for the team myself next year.” 

“You know since I’m captain I can put in a good word with the coach?” TJ plays along.

“As long as the coach can look past my lack of athleticism and inability to shoot the basketball anywhere near the hoop.” Cyrus jokes along with a laugh. 

“I didn’t see make a basket on the list.” TJ pricks up a brow. 

“That’s because basketball is boring,” Cyrus fakes a yawn, “Your one on one match with Buffy put me to sleep.” 

“Hey you seemed pretty excited when she beat me.” TJ sends him a gentle scold. 

“Buffy beat you at one on one?” Marty - whom had been sitting back, confused by TJ and Cyrus’ unlikely friendship as they joked - smirks, “I’d say I’m surprised but I’m not.” 

TJ rolls his eyes and shrugs it off. 

“You mentioned a list before, what list?” Marty questions. 

TJ looks to Cyrus with a hint of panic in his expression like he’s accidentally shared something Cyrus might not have wanted public but Cyrus is surprisingly forthcoming with his explanation.

“So you two are just hanging out going through this bucket list of sorts for the summer?” Marty asks. 

“Pretty much.” TJ bops his head with a smile. 

“A bucket list with some pretty lame goals.” Cyrus laughs nervously and TJ shakes his head at the shorter boys negativity. 

“That actually sounds pretty cool.” Marty looks genuinely impressed by the idea, “If you guys want some extra company...” 

Cyrus instinctively looks to TJ for approval and when TJ nods his head Cyrus returns his gaze back towards their friend, “We’ll call Marty from the party.” 

“It’s cuter when Buffy says it.” Marty jokes with a crinkled nose. 

Cyrus let out a sigh in anticipation and TJ’s smirk returns as he says, “You say you’re not obsessed with her but it kinda sounds like you-” 

“I’m not obsessed with Buffy.” Marty waves a finger in TJ’s direction, “But I am leaving.” 

“I was just kidding, you don’t have to go.” TJ frowns as he thought he had made Marty want to bail. 

“I have to get back to my mom.” Marty smiles to show he’s okay with the teasing. 

TJ and Cyrus walk Marty out and watch as he crosses the road towards the grocery store before turning their attention back to one another. 

“The twins” - TJ says referring to his younger siblings - “come home from sleep away camp tomorrow so we’re having a family day but the day after, we could meet by the outside basketball court at school, work on your professional basketball career?” TJ shifts his weight between his feet with a bouncy motion. 

“It’s not on the list.” Cyrus shakes his head. 

“So?” TJ scoffs, “We’ve gone off list before.” 

Cyrus crinkles his nose and shakes his head again. 

“Too bad.” TJ purses his lips momentarily, “We’re adding ‘make a basket’ to your list so we have to do it.”

“You can’t add things to the list?” Cyrus gives him a quizzical look, “The list is the list.”

“The list is final?” TJ almost challenges, “All 97 things is all you’ll ever do in your life?”

Cyrus frowns because TJ had a point.

“That’s what I thought,” TJ smirks victoriously.

“I’m sure I’ll learn I’m incompetent at plenty more things in my life,” Cyrus folds his arms with a huff.

TJ shakes his head with a silent chuckle, “Since I’m helping with the list I think it’s only fair that I get to add something onto it. Actually, 3 somethings,” TJ smiles, “I get to pick 3 tasks and that'll make it 100 things on the list.”

“Okay.” Cyrus agrees although his expression was dubious, “Make a basket,” Cyrus stresses the singular score, “What else?”

TJ thinks intensely for a moment before shrugging, “Not sure... To be determined.”

Cyrus groans, “The not knowing is physically painful for me, I hope you know that.”

TJ fails at hiding his amused grin. “So we’re on for the day after tomorrow?”

“You’re not sick of me yet?” Cyrus asks without really meaning to. 

"I just insisted I get to extend the list by 3 tasks.” TJ laughs but once Cyrus’ blank expression remains TJ affirms, “I’m not sick of you, Cyrus. I’m having so much fun...” TJ’s smiles curls into a worried look, “Are you getting sick of me?”

“No, not at all.” Cyrus shakes his head quickly and he becomes very aware of how awkward he’s made things. 

“So, day after tomorrow?” TJ repeats and Cyrus thinks maybe he only made it weird for himself. 

“Day after tomorrow.” Cyrus nods. 

“Walk me home?” TJ jokingly shimmies his shoulders. 

“I got nothing better to do.” Cyrus shrugs. 

“Gee you really know how to make a guy feel special.” TJ scoffs and plays up his mock offence. 

The two begin walking together. “So what went wrong with Marty and Buffy?” TJ questions. “I was pretty certain she was just at sweet on him as he was her.” 

Cyrus thinks about this for a moment. Why had it never occurred to him that her unknown crush could be on Marty? 

“Earth to underdog?” TJ grabs Cyrus’ attention as he had zoned out thinking about Buffy. 

“Huh?” Cyrus is confused for a moment. 

“Marty, Buffy?” TJ summarises. 

“I can’t talk about that with you.” Cyrus frowns. “Buffy wouldn't like me discussing her with you.” 

“But we’re all friends now.” TJ states. 

“Still.” Cyrus shakes his head, the last thing he wanted was to get into trouble with Buffy again over something he’s shared about her with TJ.

“So you and Buffy have never talked about me before?” TJ questions. 

“Why would we?” Cyrus laughs nervously and he regretted his jittery reply although TJ didn’t seem to register it as odd, his joking demeanour remains. 

“Because I’m the coolest guy you know.” TJ smirks and it was obvious he was playing around. 

“Jonah is the coolest guy I know.” Cyrus holds back a laugh. 

TJ cups a hand to his chest like Cyrus had just wounded him with his words. “I have a reputation to uphold and you’re saying I’m second best to ultimate frisbee boy?” 

Cyrus sends a scold sidewards at him for the little jab at Jonah’s sporting preference but he still decides to play along and take TJ down a peg or two in the process. “Who said anything about you being second best?”

“How low on the list am I?" TJ fakes a gasp and exaggerates an upset expression, “You’re being very mean to me this afternoon.” 

Cyrus worries TJ was serious and properly apologises and TJ laughs quietly at the neurotic and sincere reaction. With a smile he says, “You couldn’t be mean if you tried, underdog.” 

[Next Chapter]

End Notes: Chapter Three!! I Hope you’re enjoying the story so far. Thanks so much to everyone that left replies and likes and reblogs on the last chapter! 

What’s that I hear? Oh it’s just me self serving my muffy heart.. Carry on!

[juleahswiftie]

“I’m doing better than I ever was....”

Today is the one day this whole week I will be able to sleep in and I am WIDE awake before the sun is even up....so much is on my mind, but in a good way.

I accepted a great promotion at my job last week and I’m BEYOND excited to move up and challenge myself with a more difficult title.

I am going up to my favorite city later this week to see some of my absolute favorite people get married. AND I get to experience a little slice of “real fall” while I’m there.

My husband is also excelling at work right now and putting in overtime hours and applying for new positions for growth at his company.

We are in the middle of planning a trip with my mom to Amsterdam the first week of May, to show her a different side of the world for the first time in her life. A whole new beautiful place I get to experience with my two favorite people?? Sounds fake. Lol.

I am rambling on and writing all of this because I am living proof that IT DOES GET BETTER.

I cannot stress that enough.

For the last ten years I have struggled with MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) and it’s been a true emotional roller coaster trying to deal with it and figure out my place in the world at the same time.

It’s not easy growing up and trying to plan on what steps to take next in your life. In fact, it is very, very overwhelming...I had some seriously weak moments when I just decided that I had had enough. Two separate times I actually acted on it, tried taking my own life, and ended up not succeeding in that, and then getting hospitalized.

It’s hard for me to talk about...but it’s important to be honest. Hospitals are there to try and help, and at the time, I didn’t feel like that. I felt like it was more of a prison. I was forced there like a prison so how could it actually help me??

But please do it what it takes. You have NO idea what lies ahead of you, and you shouldn’t take the chance away from yourself to see what the future brings.

A huge part of therapy for me, was music. I emersed myself in it constantly. It took me to different places. It connected my feelings to choruses and hooks that helped me feel not so alone. The song writer that truly was there for me through music, was @taylorswift .

I got to literally grow up and go through milestones and heartbreaks and battles all with her and her songs and I cannot stress enough how important it was for me to have that.

I look back on it all and it hurts. It really does. I wish I could tell myself that IT. WILL. BE. OKAY.

I hope the right person sees this and thinks the same, and gives themselves a chance like I did.

“I’m doing better than I ever was”

[nanonaturalist]

When I were a lad I had the unfortunate luck to sit on on a yellow jacket nest, step on another a week later and then a hornet nest a week later. I developed a phobia and now my heart races even if a fly buzzes past my ear. I have done some emersion therapy by walking in a lavender field while honey bees were working.. but I still fear bee-ish creatures. I love them and I plant them flowers, but I want to be less afraid. What can I do?

Hello, @keepcalmandcarrieunderwood, I’ve been thinking about your question a lot, and this is a really hard one to answer. The obvious first step in getting over a fear of anything is wanting to get over that fear. When you have so many traumatic experiences so close together, especially when you’re young, it will take a lot of work to train your mind to be more comfortable around black and yellow striped things. So first off, congratulations on wanting to be more comfortable about our stripey friends! The good news is, you can do it!

Warning: wall of text precedes bug photos! Also this got Looooooong sorry (not sorry)

Fun fact about me: I have a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology (from way back in 2005). And one of my favorite things about studying psychology was learning about classical and operant conditioning. You are probably already familiar with both of these. 

In classical conditioning, two stimuli are paired (they may or may not be at all related), and your reflexive, unconscious response to one gets associated to the other. This phenomenon was popularized with Pavlov and his digestive experiments with dogs (dogs salivate when a bell rings in the absence of food, because the bell has been paired with food many times previously). In your case, the two stimuli are actually very closely related (seeing/hearing things that might be stinging insects, and being stung by stinging insects). Because many organisms rely on learning quickly about danger for survival, it can only take one such pairing to develop a very long-lasting response to something. 

In operant conditioning, behaviors are punished or rewarded, which can result in an individual’s behavior changing given the right circumstances. The behavior change is not necessarily conscious. A lot of interesting stuff in our brains happens outside of view from us. Say you look into a cactus flower once and you see a really cool beetle. Neat! You’re going to start looking into cactus flowers a lot more often. And if you keep seeing neat beetles, oh boy those cactus flowers better look out. Even if those flowers start turning up empty, you’ll still keep peeking in them for a while, even if you are in a situation where it’s really not appropriate to keep peeking into cactus flowers (apologies to people on my last guided hike…). I’ll get back to operant conditioning in a minute.

You may have heard about a common treatment for anxiety disorders called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I’m a big fan of this method, because it asks you to re-evaluate your thoughts, as you are having them, to restructure your gut reaction to a situation into a less emotionally-charged one. In other words, you have a fear resulting from classical conditioning–it’s totally reflexive and unconscious, and you had no control over the creation of your phobia. The problem is, phobias can become self-sustaining with the help of operant conditioning. Basically: Bee > PANIC! > flee > relief! The act of removing yourself from bee-like insects will give you relief from the fear, and makes you more likely to avoid bee-like insects in the future. But, you don’t want to be afraid anymore!

The trick is: turn your reflexive, unconscious responses into thoughts. This can be really hard–I have a lot of generalized anxiety issues, and I don’t always know what (if any) actual thoughts are making me uneasy. But I think it is easier to translate reflexes into thoughts for phobias, even if they aren’t always logical. 

In the case of a fear of stings from bees/wasps, there are several angles you can take:

Learn more about stinging insects and their behaviors, and understand why they sting. Take fear and reshape it into curiosity, use what you learn to avoid getting stung. 

Not all that buzzes is a bee. Similarly for yellow/black striped insects. There are lots of mimics out there, who look like a dangerous stinging insect to protect themselves, when they are totally harmless. Learn how to tell them apart, so know which ones couldn’t hurt you even if they wanted to.

Not all bees/wasps can sting! Males cannot sting, and some species are completely stingless.

Desensitization through Education

First off, you need to know a little about stingers. What are they, exactly? Well, they weren’t originally stingers. Before there were stingers, there were ovipositors.

Ovipositors in katydids. Left two: common conehead katydids; Right: lesser meadow katydid

Ovipositors are tubes that some insects use to lay their eggs inside something. Insects who lay their eggs in the ground (but who aren’t burrowing insects, like katydids) will use the ovipositor to make sure the eggs are safely tucked away from predators. Some insects go a step further, and lay their eggs inside another organism (these are called parasites or parasitoids depending on whether or not they kill the host). These insects will lay their eggs either in plant tissues (gall wasps and midges do this, and I wrote a post about galls a little while back [link]), or in animal tissues. 

Various parasitic wasps, Superfamily Ichneumonoidea. I have no idea who these are at the moment. iNat links: [Photo 1 Link] [Photo 2 Link] [Photo 3 Link]

These parasitoid insects tend to be wasps, and they tend to have some pretty fancy ovipositors. The larger ones tend to parasitize caterpillars, and before you gasp and lament the plight of the poor helpless babies, remember that every living creature in nature serves a very important purpose. Caterpillars can absolutely destroy a vegetable garden. These wasps make sure there’s still something left for us. 

These wasps do not sting. The painful sting is a result of venom, and these wasps with long ovipositors do not have a venom gland. 

But, as insects are wont to do, if there is a niche, they will fill it. The inside of the caterpillar is claimed? Well, you can just lay your egg on the caterpillar instead. This is a lot harder to do. With a long ovipositor, you can just hold on, stick it in, and go. But if you need to lovingly affix your eggs to the outside of a wiggling caterpillar, you’re gonna have a hard time. If only there was a way to temporarily paralyze it!

Meet Netelia. This is a genus of Ichneumon wasp. Notice her ovipositor? Kinda short, huh? That’s because it’s a stinger [link]. She stings the caterpillar, which is paralyzed long enough for her to beadazzle it with eggs, and off she goes. I don’t know much about the evolutionary history of ovipositors and stingers, but somehow, some species started living in large colonies full of sterile female workers and a stingless queen who laid all the eggs (think ants and bees). If you didn’t reproduce, you could make some pretty scary and painful stingers to protect your colony! Also: this means that only females can sting. 

And this brings us to the issue: some of them DO sting humans and it is not pleasant!

Bees and wasps are similar in that the notorious species tend to live in large colonies, but they sting for very different reasons. Bees are defensive (their stingers are embedded into flesh and detach from their bodies–a nice way of saying they rip their guts out and die), while wasps are offensive (they can sting many, many times, and will do it when they feel threatened even if they are not under attack).

Left: Western Honey Bee; Right: Apache Wasp

Why are they so different? Bees are vegetarians, so they have no need to kill for food. Their stingers are the last line of defense for their colonies, because every bee who stings will die. A colony can’t survive if all the workers die, but it also needs to protect the young and the queen. But these bees tend to make fairly elaborate hives which serve as a good line of defense in addition to the army of stinging workers. Bees will sting if you are actively harming them or the hive, even if you don’t realize it. Remember those ridiculous wide leg raver pants (hey, I said I graduated from college in 2005, stop looking at me like that)? I knew a guy who wore those all the time, and one day his pant leg managed to fall over a single lady bee, and she… uh… Well, she felt threatened. Let’s just say I laughed. Yes, as it happened. I regret nothing. Bees do not want to sting you.

Wasps are also vegetarians (wait, WHAT??)–at least, they are in adulthood. Wasp larvae? Carnivores. Those evil wasps killing other bugs and carrying them off are taking them to their nest. They will lay an egg alongside their prey, which is paralyzed to keep it alive until the egg hatches (terrifying, huh?). What a good mother! Some wasp species are solitary, and their nests can be safe underground. But paper wasps, which you are likely more familiar with, have their babies literally hanging out in the open. Their delicious, nutritious babies. They are so vulnerable! They must be protected! 

Paper wasps. Left: Apache wasp nest; Right: Common paper wasp nest

The only thing between a hungry predator and the life of those babies are the valiant wasps sworn to protect the nest. If they sense something which triggers the “hungry predator” switch in their brain, they will attack. Is their nest pretty low to the ground? Are you TOO CLOSE? Look out! Is their nest HIDDEN IN YOUR BALCONY WALL and you bump the side while enjoying a beautiful spring day? Are you throwing rocks at the nest? Do you smell like a bear? I don’t know what triggers wasps, but the only time I’ve been stung was when they secretly lived in my balcony wall. Thing with wasps is, when they’ve had enough, they will come after you. They can sting you to teach you to STAY AWAY and fly back to their nest. 

But, if you don’t set off “hungry predator” alarms, and instead exist in their world as “irrelevant scavenger,” you can actually get pretty close to them. I was lucky to find this Common Paper Wasp lady making her nest on the underside of a pokeweed leaf in my backyard two years ago. I took these photos with my phone. I was inches away from her. Sometimes I had a headlamp shining in her face. She never once came after me. I started to recognize her foraging around my yard for paper fiber (ever see a wasp hanging out on your wooden fence, or landing on grass or dried dead plants? they are collecting building materials!), so I could get a really close look at her nest and the eggs inside. Look in the cells in the nest in the top left and bottom right photos. Those little white things are her eggs!

So there’s a bit of a Catch-22 here. If you’re not afraid of wasps, come up to them curiously, SHOVE A CELL PHONE IN THEIR FACE WHILE BLINDING THEM WITH A HEADLAMP, eh, they don’t care. But if you are afraid of getting stung… what are you going to do? Calmly walk away? NO! You’re going to swat at it, flail around, run, scream, etc. All things a predator would do. Same thing with bees. Sometimes, they will land on you for whatever reason. Maybe you’re wearing a fluorescent yellow shirt and you look delicious.

All this baby wanted was some nectar, and from her perspective, I was *clearly* advertising that I had bountiful nectar reserves. If I was not aware that they see UV light, and that this is how they find flowers so quickly, and if I instead thought that bees hate the color yellow and will sting you if you’re wearing it (this is what I was taught growing up… *sigh*), I would have thought I was getting attacked, and would have started with the flailing. This lady, who thought she was coming for lunch, instead now has to start fighting? She’s gonna be mad.

There is a lot to know about bees and wasps. I do not know that much about them, but I think they are very interesting and I love learning more about them.

Mimics Can’t Fool You!

Wow that first section was long. How about some pictures of things that aren’t bees or wasps?

Hover flies! Top: Left - Eupeodes sp.; Right - Copestylum sp. Bottom: Left - Palpada agrorum; Right - Yellow-shouldered Drone Fly

Longhorn beetles! Top: Neoclytus mucronatus (both photos) Bottom: Left - Zebra Longhorn Beetle; Right - Painted Hickory Borer

Robber flies! Left: MacQuart’s Bee-mimic Robber Fly; Right: Beelzebub Bee-Killer

Moths! Left: Sphinx moths; Right: Clear-wing mothsI know, I’m cheating a little here. These are specimens in the Texas A&M University Entomology Collections. They have an open house every January and it’s AMAZING! 

Bee flies! (really!) Left: Poecilanthrax sp.; Middle: Exoprosopa fascipennis; Right: Villa sp.

Some clear take-aways here: (1) Flies are very into bees(2) Looking like a bee/wasp is a very successful survival strategy!(3) If it looks like a bee… it’s probably a fly (unless it’s actually a bee)

Stingless Fakers

There are two major groups of bees that don’t sting–Tribe Meliponini (Stingless Bees) and Family Andrenidae (Mining Bees).

Admittedly, I have not seen many of these. The two Meliponini species I saw were in Malawi (Africa), and those are the two photos on the left. Far left is a group going to their hive (they can make honey, too!), and center is a different species in their nest (a wax tube on the side of my cottage). These bees are so tiny you’d think they were fruit flies! Right photo is from West Texas, Mining Bees in the Macrotera genus (I love them! Little Valentine butts!)

BUT! There is another fairly common group of stingless bees: MALES. No male insect can sting (they can bite if equipped, but remember, stingers are modified ovipositors!). You may never see a male honey bee, but here’s what they look like: 

Not the best photo, but you can see he’s shaped… kinda weird? His eyes are HUGE, which is probably the easiest way to tell him apart from the females.

You are more likely to meet a male Carpenter bee, however. How will you know a male carpenter bee?

Male Eastern Carpenter Bee above. I read the males have a white patch on their face (look! his nose!), and there were some other features, but really, WHITE! NOSE!

Another Carpenter Bee I see at home (and NOTICE because … well you’ll see in a minute):

Xylocopa tabaniformis Carpenter Bee. Many apologies for the TERRIBLE PHOTOS. These were from my phone before I had a Real Camera and they only *just came back* this year and I am way behind on photos sorrryyyyyyyy

Anyway, I don’t know how to tell the females/males apart visually (or if you even can). And this photo may very well be of a female, who knows. But the way you know the males: They will get in your business. That’s why I call this section “Stingless Fakers.” It’s because of these. I love them. This pink bush is right outside my front door. I walk around it to get to my car in the morning. And in the summers, there are always a few of these buzzing around. And the males are interested in protecting their (small underground) colonies, so they will COME UP TO YOU to see if you’re a threat. Or maybe to intimidate you because THEY ARE A BEE THEY COULD STING LOOK OUT! 

Carpenter bees are distinguished from bumble bees by not being as furry. Carpenter bees will have shiny abdomens. Bumble Bees should be bumbly furry.

ANYWAY IN CONCLUSION Bees/Wasps are interesting, not everything is a bee/wasp even if it looks like one, and they don’t all sting. I wish you the best of luck in facing your fears and buzzing back at bees and hornets in triumph.

Posted (finally–sorry!) May 31, 2018As always, all photos are mine and most were taken in Texas. Exceptions are Netelia and Meliponini from Malawi.