#ellin: milady please take your medicine

[ellin-messenger]

Winter Outing

Warning: a pitch of angst with a comfort. fluff. first time writing, implied reader having a slightly insomnia, interaction reader with dan heng are platonic (can be romantic), hinted spoiler of Xianzhou arc (hsr, dan heng's mentioned), ooc(?), series au

Ellin: "Late posting since December, sigh."

Before the mistress's demotion.

Synopsis: It's December, the weather in Coromppo unusually colder than ever. Need a thick clothes since your fragile body couldn't handle such a heavy cold winter. During the winter night, you are not able to sleep properly so you took a glance at the window balcony and decided to go outside for a short outing but.. your childhood friend wouldn't let you go alone.

It's cold, dang, it's too cold.

Your body has been covered a lot of layer of blankets. You wanted to sleep but at the same time, you can't. You wanted to stay awake for awhile. Geez, even you had such a thick layers, you can't win against the cold. Frick this body, you murmured.

Lately, the weather in Coromppo unexpectedly cold during incoming of the winter season. You thought it was normal since the country where you lived right now always been cold for that long, it never been a summer unfortunately.

You sigh, getting up into sitting at the side of your queen size bed. You stretched your arms and covered yourself with the blanket. Geez, how absurd...despite you reincarnated as a person who born in this weak condition. It took a lot of efforts to take a complete recovery. You can't blame anyway since the fate has decide you. Anyway, still, you can't sleep.

You slowly get up and not to make a sound because it was midnight. Most of the maids and servants were asleep. You can't wake up your nanny or else she will nag you as you were caught by getting up very late (it wasn't first time though).

You walk around your room while your body is shivering in cold. To ease your boredom, you sneak the shelter to look up the files of the previous cases.

Taking a time to observe the details, nah, too tired to look at the whole bunch of words, no thanks.

You sigh,

You knee down to observe your sleeping cat, oh my, how cute. You pat it on its head then it lets out a purr. Better not to tease it or it will bite (everytime).

You sigh in frustration and laying down on the cold floor, well, it doesn't matter.

"I'm bored." you murmur quietly.

Oh.

How about.... you should steal the food at the kitchen during the night hours? You carefully open the door without a sound and you saw a dark and empty hallways in the sight.

Nah, scary. You closed the bedroom door out of your fear. The fact your bedroom was at the second floor, meanwhile the kitchen was at the first floor. So, it's too far to walk in the darkest winter night, you fear that you doubt you can walk alone in this villa.

You sigh again, it's too cold to sleep. Not only that, but a sleeping issue! Remind of your previous life that you will spend time at late night gaming.

Oh, let's think about the lores in this life as well! Thinking what is your next move would be...

Your mind felt empty. Ahhhh.... what are you supposed to do?? Walking around and do nothing?? And despite you were awake during the night, couldn't sleep but your brain was not functionally working onto something you need to prepare early and sooner for the future where the story flowed through your strategies.

Hmm...

You scratch your chin.

And.. it left you wonder.. you wanted a breathtaking outing as an idea. You had a feeling to have a sight around the environment once again. Which is.. it leads you glance at the balcony window, you peak into the glass door of the balcony's entrance. It was snowy, it was lucky not to have a blizzard.

Although your nanny warned you to not go outside for too long during this winter December, but you might against her, since you were needing to let your mind rested of the scenery with overwhelming view, along with a feeling of comfort as you walked though this kind of weather. Imagine, you walked in the streets.

In this time, you let it happen today. If it means can let you sleep peacefully after your winter outing.

You carefully rummage the clothes in your closet to search the winter outfit that fits in to your body, that immune slight from the cold because you want to walk in calm way than getting caught the cold within an hour.

You beamed as you finally found the suitable outfit for this night winter and you wear immediately, consider your nightgown can be your inner clothing to prevent from the cold as an extra.

Stockings were must, with a brown palatte added in simple pattern that match to your mood in your outfit aesthetically.

Done and dust. Before you go out from your room, you lit up an antique lamp with a candle.

You slowly open the big well-made door and glance around in the empty hallways. You relief as knowing it was a right choice to give your personal escort for a day off even during the nighttime guard. You pity him whenever you saw him every night as he stood and guarded your door room, to assure your safety. You let him rest him, even he dared to resist (like you attempted to shoo him away because you felt your personal space was at your limit).

You breathe in and breathe out, tried your best to put yourself in bravery spirit while you must overcome by walking through the dark hallway until you able come down to the stairway toward the living room.

Pit pat pit pat,

the way your walking slowed down similiarly to what you tried to sneak in onto something without a sound or being caught by half-sleep servants and maids while you're kept holding your lamp to get rid of blank view from your way.

You successed! You're thankful to the God that you able reach to the stairway by walking alone through the darkness without anyone to accompany with.

Even though the meters were shorten, it doesn't change that was scary too. You fear that you will imagine some random spirits will jump on you. But lucky, nothing serious will happen to you.

As you went down the stairway. You were surprised as you saw a light coming from nowhere in the living room. Wait, did someone was there? You thought, in shiver.

Or someone does up late at night too? Maybe hopefully, you wouldn't encounter on someone who has a bad intention here at night.

So then, you carefully take a peak to witness a figure who was rested on the couch.

As you took a step, hid on the wall, maybe the side wall. Just not get notice easily.

You saw a familiar black hair figure, noticed unique looking earrings as well, wearing a similar white coat that you often see everyday. You saw that a certain young man is reading a book as he sat on the side of the drawer where the small lamp was stood.

"Oh, I thought he was in the room. Guess not." You murmur quietly by your thoughts, hoping he won't hear your voice immediately.

As you took a step, walk into him from the back while attempting to surprise him.. you heard,

"..Pull a prank on me, Y/N?"

You stunned in your track, it was likely he noticed easily by your familiarity presence from afar.

You let out a quiet and awkward chuckle, "Ehehe.. you realize me quickly, Dan Heng."

Your attempt jumping on him was a failure. There is no use anyway since he has a strong 6 senses.

And so, you walked toward him, from the back of the couch. You rest your elbows on the back cushion of the sofa, sigh softly,

"Never thought you were still up at night. You said that you will sleep."

He responded, while flipping the pages, "...I wouldn't be able to rest my mind. So, I read while enjoying the winter as a chance."

Dan Heng, who happens to be your childhood friend after your reincanation. A young man who appears mysterious and secretly to have a soft spot to his childhood beloved. He was taken in by your uncle from somewhere that Dan Heng was lost and bumped into him by accident.

You remembered that time you woke up and saw him that held your hand very dearly, that refused to let go as if fear of losing someone so precious to him.

It left you noticed, that certain mistress or the former soul in this body who always treats him in the way as a family to him, consider she often spends time with him during the past as he and she had a share of loneliness with each other.

"A dream?"

"No."

You acknowledged him that he hardly slept more peacefully than a normal person does.

You may share a struggle as him but you are still able to sleep than he is. But you knew better about his character and his background of his origin. In which his past left unsettled. You knew he was often hunted by a nightmare in an endless loop by a certain person that he desperates to escape. That's a part of the reason he couldn't sleep properly.

And also the part of his strong sense of threat whenever he tried to sleep normally, in fact this former soul experienced a lot of dangers in the past. It's easy he can be anxious. Or rather his life too.

"I lie, this isn't the first time that you were up late."

"wasn't you too?" He looks at you in disbelief.

You smiled, maybe in annoyance, "That's the issue. I can't."

He sighed, continued flipping the pages as he focused on the book instead, "..Then? What are you gonna do for now?"

"I'm not like you. I'm going out." You spoke in response.

"This late night?" He stopped his reading.

You nod, "Yeah. Only for a while."

"Suddenly?" He questions you again.

"Yes."

He looks back to you again, "Why?"

"My mind is empty, I felt like it." You shrug.

"You should've walked around here, you know. It's better than you gets trouble in the winter outside." He suggests, his tone sounds like he worries you, he does refuse for your late night doings.

"They will notice me like I was a menace spirit wandering around the villa that seeks for a threat." You are unamused by his idea.

"I don't know others. But try to sleep then. Ellin does not allow you to go out during this condition." He turns to his book again.

"I can't."

"Playing around? Or maybe try to do something that amuses you." He exclaimes.

"Ellin will hunt me if she awakes whenever I do some stupid ruckus that drag my interest. I metaphor this, like a mom with a slipper when she saw her kid doing their twerking on the floor during midnight after she awakes from the noises." You shiver whenever you remind your nanny.

"Oh, that's unfortunate." He huffs.

"You're no fun." You pout.

He doesn't bother about your comment, "I am. If that's what you think."

You sigh and have no energy to debate him more. You lift yourself from the back cushion couch and decide to walk toward the door entrance.

You can't do anything since your mind is still active in something that you need to experience to do the stuff like feeling the environment again. You felt something that can't let you sleep. You want something that can exhaust you so you able to sleep nicely.

The soft and quietly loud voice that suddenly called out for you,

"Are you really going out for sure, Y/N?"

Dan Heng turns and looks at you again, with that another unusual expression that he makes. He placed his book aside on the drawer which is beside the lamp. As you were about to reach the door but it stopped you as you noticed him getting up from the couch.

"..I'll go with you." He firmly spoke.

You turn to him in confusion, "What?"

"I said, I'll join you." He seriously replied. He does anxious about your well-being.

He walked to you and lowered his head to look at you, "Wait for me. Don't you reach the door yet."

"..huh, right"

You were surprised by his actions and nod anyway.

"I'll get the scarf for myself."

"Okay." You nod again.

He turns around and walks toward the rack, where his scarf hangs on it. He reaches and takes the scarf, immediately wears while adjusting his neck comfort.

As soon as he was ready, he walks back to you, "Let's go."

You dumbfounded, is he really wants to accompany with you?

"What?"

"Dan Heng, are you for real?"

"I insist. Now, we'll go together."

"But-"

He glares at you, "Don't ever think that you can go alone."

You sigh in defeat, "Fine.."

Then, you had no choice but follow him as he walked out to the entrance.

Outside of Villa, Street of Dovinc

You huff as you finally out from the suffocated room, with.. Dan Heng, he was right at your side, keep yourself in secure. That's unfortunately for you not able to go out alone during this late snowy night but it's for your best, at least.

You and him were walking through the snowy road, toward the old bridge and went across over, while you glance the below of the bridge, you saw several swams were swimming around in a cold weather. Oh, the water isn't freezing, how weird.

You glance around the street, some of stores were open, in which the stores' lights were still opened. Didn't expect ho you lived in reincarnation world, being exist here in an old-fashioned generation, the 24-hours store existed to operate in this generation.

Well, neither it's just fictional logic or did happen actually in the old past? You wouldn't know because it makes you think so. But it's good thing some of food stores were opened, so it's a timing to get a light meal during this night.

The street went quiet due of no citizen was around because.. of course, it's late night, everyone- no, almost they went asleep soundly and prepared for the daylight soon while you couldn't sleep neither Dan Heng too, so you had an issue for that and Dan Heng is hunted by a nightmare, how sad.

Sigh, you wished you don't want to involve anything related to certain events but since you were reincarnated, there's no escaping now.

"There's something wrong, Y/N?" Dan Heng was the first stopping his track as he's being attentive as usual by your unusual behaviour, he notied you were zoned out for a while as you walked through the street without considering your surroundings.

Ah, you awfully quiet in the night, he thought that something that might anxious you.

You blinked out a few as you stopped your track as well, leading yourself to look at him in confusion, "Oh, no? Did I act something weirdly?"

He lowered his head to do a check-up on your well-being, dang it, he's being too close!

"You zoned out." He stated.

"Ah, really? I'm just glancing at the stores."

He sighed, "You seemed like thinking on something not necessary."

You le gasped, "Do I look one, Dan Heng?? I'm perfectly fine!"

"And you do seem like hiding. Got some ideas in your thought?"

You looked at him blankly, still confused that he was saying.

"Dan Heng, I know you're concerned. But don't get too overprotective of my beings." you sighed tiredly.

"You hardly sleep. So, I thought there's something in your mind until it gets you a thought of going out alone." he speaks firmly.

"My eyes is refusing to shut. What do you expect? I want to sleep too. But I had an urge feeling to witness the weather and environment again." You replied drastically.

He sighed and looks at you again, "It's.. just, ahem, Y/N. I want you aware that your condition and your safety as well must be a priority. You still fragile, not yet fully cure and you easily get blind by a danger."

"I know. I know what am I doing. And you? You can't sleep as me, do you?"

He widened his eyes with your words and sighed again, "It's normal."

"Then, I thought it wasn't as you think that I wasn't too." you spoke in slight annoyance.

"You-..sigh, alright, I got it." The black hair guy sighed in defeat by your words had strike him back about his beings as well.

You turn back to your surroundings. You seemed some of people as well still awoken and sit on the brick that build surrounded the decorated plants.

You enjoyed the temperature of the weather while walking around the snow happily and Dan Heng follows you quietly as he pays attention on you. He can't help but smile slightly by the view of your figure was a child to him, oh, how it reminds him during your childhood days.

"You were quite an adventurous back then. I guess you don't seem change even single bit." He speaks while keep looking out fo you, as long as you don't get hurt anywhere.

You turn at him by his words, it seemed it popped out in your thoughts of the mistress in this body, from the story plot in your game used to often bedridden in her childhood days. It's lucky that she able to experience to go outside of the world in slightest.

You smiled, it hurts you how badly ended her in the end of the Household Vinc arc leave her in suffering and died from that tragic fate.

It doesn't mean she fully villainess or antagonist she begins with, it's just how the world and society treat her in this way, reminds you also Dan Heng wasn't into himself anymore after his precious's death. He couldn't tell his last word for her before her final breath,

"Oh, how I long to be yours. I'll be no longer myself without your existence anymore."

"...ah, I promised you. To show why your existence is truly meaning among of mankind. I never hesitate to despise them from what had they done to you. Oh, I'll curse them as you did for them."

Look at him, look at the past cutscene! He held her like she was a fragile glass to him, like a precious object that must be taken of nicely. He just kneeled down and quietly crying over her bloody dead body. You looked at him in the cutscene, just how tight can be how he hugged her so dearly, never care the dirt or bloods stick on his clothings. All he cares was her, he refuses to accept her fate as she acknowledged she was dying.

After her death, of course, now he despised the world and society. He dared to curse the world for her.

But the problem is... they were lacking of communication.

It started after the mistress went into a deep coma, it effected her memories as well like you memories were blurry the same, but you managed to recall quickly. They couldn't open up each other, especially to Dan Heng, he hardly to speak up his true origin, because he fears of her leaving him after she acknowledged the truth of his past.

While mistress accepts him no mater what, but he still doubts it by her words and it ended regrettably as he witnessed her death,

Yes, he was too late.

Oh, how he desperated to identified him being a dragon from his past as a sinner, just, unfortunately, he regreted for not telling his true self.

Of course. You turn the event greatly, since you were the one knew the progress of the lores and plots.

"Why are you staring at me?" His voice suddenly snapped back from your reality as you went zoned out again.

"..Oh, am I?" You spoke awkwardly.

He sighed and went closer to you with that unusual expression, slight concern, "What are you thinking? Did something catch your thoughts?"

"Oh, Dan Heng.."

"It's strange how you look at me while thinking about the thoughts so deeply." he anxious as he questioned your blank expression.

The fact you stood there for a while without a single move, he thought you were freezing or something but he's being attentive as usual can tell him that you're in the deep of thoughts.

You shake head with a faint smile on your face, "Ah, it's nothing. I predict that I'll be dying in the future, maybe I was in your arms."

He silenced as he stunned by your words all of sudden.

Dying? You? No, impossible. He thought.

He will never let that fate of yours slide in. Just, no way.

"What do you mean by..?"

You added, "I mean, you didn't hear wrong, no?"

He widened his eyes by your reply. His expression changed into darkened.

He lowered his gaze to the ground, leaving him thinking in bitterness. He can't imagine you will leave this world without him.

It makes him gripping his fist tightly.

"I manage to predict of the sooner in the certain event so I able to turn toward the rightful is." You spoke.

"..And how you knew the future of yours is..dying?" he looks at you in pitiful expression, even he tried to hide.

"I only able to get a hint of my fate, I know what I lead my death such a tragic way. Let's see.. dying by someone's hand because I was losing control until I make the chaos into a war..?" You scratch your chin as you crossed your arms, try to recall the mistress's ending.

"Due of..my dark energy has been taken over me as I wouldn't able to hold it any longer." You added.

"You're making me think about the War of Raging Witch IV from the past centuries. Was it the same pattern as yours?" The black hair male questioned.

"Let's say it's accurately. Since we all have despise by the societies. To add, it's because of the hurtful background of course."

You both stare each other silently. You were calm whenever you said something that related to your future death while Dan Heng was concerned by your statement, finds it hard to accept if it's happening.

"..Is that true? Did you find it accurate by your fate?"

"It's already decided. That's how I'll be facing it." you nodded calmly.

"..You'll be dying?"

"Ah, unless, I should be wary of my well-being, I able to predict that from the changes, it was likely not possible." you assured him, while patting his arm gently.

It's not like you were prepared to die early. Can't you just live enjoyable-ly?

You aware that your condition still not yet to be cure fully. Which how you were facing right now for being an ill person, a fragile body. But CAW was a great support for your strength in any obstacles and serious situation. As long as your body must keep in fit.

"I.." Then, your childhood starts to speak again.

You cut out his word immediately, "Let's keep walking."

You start to go back to your track as you continued enjoy for a scoll, as well he walks behind you, it seemed he thinks of something.

"Y/N." He called out your name.

You're still walking and reply, "Yeah?"

"..Are you just joking or-"

"I'm not."

"I beg your pardon?" he lifted up his head, sees the sight of your back covered with a coat.

"I'll be dying anyway. It's already set it."

He sighed, "Stop playing, Y/N. I'm being serious."

"And while, I am not, Dan Heng." You stop your track again as you turns around to him, in irritation.

You both finally were facing each other again, keep in silence. Meanwhile Dan Heng was in his deep thought, tries to connect to your words. He didn't mean to irritate you but keep his firm expression on his face. But you able to read through his face, he was hurt.

You sighed, waiting for him to talk again as you willing so.

"Speak up."

"Will you leave me?"

"Huh?"

You widened your eyes in surprise by his question.

"You heard me, Y/N." he stares at you so firmly.

You huff, "No. But I don't promise that if anything happens."

"I see." he nodded by your answer.

He hesitated as he wants to tell you more, he lowered his head, refused to look you.

You tilted in confusion by his behaviour.

"Did something wrong? Or my words were hurting you? My bad if I said something unexpecte-"

"Will accept me for who am I?"

You frozed, how surprising to see him this, anxious over his past beings, the past he finds it hardly to recover until he lifted up the guilts and burdens on his shoulder. He can't help but trying his best to open up for you.

"..What?" you dumbfounded.

He huffs in hesitate of repeating, "You heard me right."

You went speechless and it makes him more anxious more. You think deeply again, the last thing is..

He fears losing, losing her like losing you as well.

"Mhm, no matter it is." You nodded.

He lighten up slightly, "..even I'm a sinner?"

"..What?"

"Ah, it's nothing." he huffs, he may accidentally to slip out from his tongue.

"Dan Heng. I know you were refused to open up with me."

"..."

"..."

It went silenced immediately. You knew it. And so, you turn around, walking toward the opened bread store.

"Let's get a bread, I'm hungry." You wave at him from behind.

"Ah, yes." he nodded and followed you from the back, keeping yourself safe.

You both walked toward the store and were greeted by the staff who were taking a night shift. You decided to choose the bread that is enough for your late night snack, neither is Dan Heng too.

You bought the chicken mushroom bread that was baked into a nice crispy. Of course, you bought a hot drink as well. No one misses the milk tea during the night.

Meanwhile, Dan Heng bought a simple bread and share the same flavor as yours. Instead, he decided to buy hot chocolate.

Even if both of you weren't having a conversation with each other, all the gestures and body language is enough to understand what you were doing. He's been observed by your movement to keep yourself close.

You pointed out an empty bench while glancing at Dan Heng as you would like to sit together. He nodded as he follows you.

As you both were taking a seat and adjusting the position to make things comfortable, then you decide to take a bite from the bread.

He attentively looks at you as soon as you eat before he does.

"Does it hot?"

You muffle while you are chewing, "..Nah, it warms that not harm me."

"That's good. Just don't get your tongue hurt."

"And the texture is good to taste, it's crispy. It's delicious. Oh, the flavors blended very well. It's too satisfying to feel the crisp on your mouth. It's so.. good~!" You mumble in beamed while enjoying the taste of texture from the bread.

While the black hair guy agrees with your comments. The fact both of you bought the same bread.

"It's odd that you choose the same flavor as mine."

"I'll taste it from what you had to buy. If it's good, well I find it good too."

You grin slightly, "Oh, wow. Trying to experience the taste as mine, huh."

"It's normal since we can share it with each other. Your interest can be part of mine too."

"Oh, right." You nodded.

"But your intention would never be the same as mine though."

You laughed awkwardly by his suspicions. It's usually for you to come up with such a 'scheme' whenever you try to plan something before.

Both of you are now chewing the bread in silence while enjoying the view of the snowy night. You start to chat a bit about the view, not to miss, he was willing to listen every words that you said.

"The moon seemed to be shaped into lunar now. It's pretty." You lifted up a finger to point out the moon.

"It's 19 December. I guess the full moon will rise for a few days." He stated.

You nodded while smiling as you were gazing at the sky. It was beautifully made in art. Dan Heng looks up to the sky as you do.

"Ah, Dan Heng. If you try to open up with me, it's a sign that you truly trust in me, you know? There's no use of hiding." You look at him with a faint smile in the form of your lips.

Dan Heng silenced and looked down as if he was in the deep of thoughts. You still acknowledged him that he would doubt your words and also himself when it comes related to his past.

"We have already been this together for many years ever since Uncle Welt took you in when you were running away from the certain circumstances. Are you still not to trust me that I'll accept whenever you are?" You continue.

"Ah."

Silence. The question has struck him in. It seems you don't gain his trust yet whenever you tried to talk about his origin. He kept avoiding it when he had a chance, truthfully, he has such a hard head to deal with when it comes to his depress self.

You sighed without a word as you continue to gaze the night sky again.

"If you don't want to discuss about that, I insist not to force you." you smiled.

Soon, he looks back at your face in serious expression,

"Y/N." Dan Heng starts to speak up.

"mhm?"

"Will...you accept me whenever forms that I am from what you witness soon?" he slides in closer to you but not interfer your boundaries.

It gets you a hint, one day, you'll know of his true origin. One day, you'll travel on the trip of certain destination, the Xianzhou.

But you can't letting him hide from you anymore before it's too late but you let him be, give him a mental realization by striking your tragic future from the plots that you kept in flow.

You want him realize, that he shouldn't doubt you due of him, being a sinner. So, you wait for him.

The way he looks at you in desperation, he hates to see you leave from his sight, his life will be doomed without yoour existence.

"Even you're a worm, of course I'll accept you." you joked but it meant it truly.

"Don't joke on me." he frowns.

"No, but really. Seriou- hey!" you whine as you felt his finger on your cheek and pinches you hardly due of your idiotic behaviour. To add, his fingers is darn too cold.

"Answer me."

"Alright! Alright, geez." you pout slightly, still felt his fingers were on your cheeks.

"So, even you were a beast. Yeah." you replied, rubbing your cheeks as his fingrs left from yours.

"Are you even answering though?"

"I am??"

He sighed, "Y/N. What if you..dislike me?"

"What on earth who told you that?" you cringe.

"No one, but myself."

"Should I take out your inner self, then?"

He snickers, tried to hold his laugh, "..pfft- cough, No?"

"He tries to roast the heck of you."

"Why the heck you would bring him up for a blame?" he unamused, but actually he was trying not to laugh for it.

"You said it, that upset me." you sadden.

"I'm sorry but, I just want your honest answer." he coughs out slightly.

"Are you still doubting me now? I thought you guess right about us should believe each other." you huff in upset tone.

"No, I'm not doubting you." he shakes head with a light sigh.

"Then, must you think of me almost hating of your being, huh?" you state.

"I.. wouldn't think of that. But my past rather finds you disappointing."

"Oh." you side eyes him while drinking your hot milk tea.

And you both were enjoying the light meal that you had, you commented the taste of your milk tea while Dan Heng shared his as well. The bread that you had eaten were all empty in the paper plastic.

You decided to come up an idea for a recent case to him, meanwhile Dan Heng being a listener as he is, marks every single detail that you described.

After a while of spending on the bench, you decided to take a walk again, the black hair boy follows by your lead as well.

The snow falls on your shoulder and you were smiling to feel the breeze from the environment again. Oh, how you long seek for a nice peace after such a hard work from the recent cases.

You sigh as you felt the cold on your face again.

You glance at your childhood, who always kept quiet all the time, no wonder.Somehow it felt like lonely, like him.

"Dan Heng." you called out softly, you stopped your track as you saw him walking away without noticing his surroundings.

Your voice manages to reach out for him so he turns around, walk back to you as he realizes that he walked that far.

He replied with slight mumble, "Mhm?"

You beamed, "Hand."

"What?"

"Hand."

He confused, "Hand? ..My hand?"

You extended your hand to his, "Hand."

"..You want to hold..my hand?" he surprised by your sudden gesture.

You nodded.

And he hesitated.

"Was it okay?"

"No worries, it's normal. Consider we both are close." you shakes head.

"I don't think.. it's quite imitate?"

"You don't want to?" you tilted your head.

"Ah, I meant.." he hesitated, but slightly flustered by your odd affection to him.

After a short wait for calming his composure down, he slowly reached your hand and held it carefully, not to miss that his ears are red as well, even he kept denying.

You slowly gripped his hand gently and ready for another walk. You smiled as you felt his warmth from his palm while he refuses to look at you through the eyes contact.

"Did you feel warm?" you asked.

"Your hands are quite cold. Is that what you asking me to hold it for you?" he huffs but hates that he's smiling a bit.

"Nah, it's nothing. We both quite lonely, you know?"

"..It's a purpose?"

"No?"

"Ah, well, I see."

"Was it uncomfortable? I can release my hand from yours." you reconsider.

"No, let's keep..like this. I'm good."

"If you said so."

You both continued for a short outing before you decided to head back to your villa. But something that you want to remind him before the event happens.

As you both were on the way of the villa's direction, you start to break the silence.

"Hey, uhm. Look, here. I'm accepting whenever your forms were looks like. And, even you're a sinner, you still remain as a 'Dan Heng' to me."

He frozes and you stopped as well.

"..Are you..?"

"Ah, I don't know if I misheard your words or sort of, but to me, my thoughts were never changed that how I view you. So, please, do not doubt that."

"..."

"Ever since Uncle Welt took you in, I finally able to have a friend like you but, haha, I admit that you were hardly to approach with. Hey, I'm grateful that have you with me." you chuckled slightly.

"..." Dan Heng stares at you as he lowered his gaze on you.

"From I acknowledged about you from Uncle Welt, you seemed to have your struggle to your past."

"Mhm, yeah." he nodded a bit.

Then, you started walk again, dragging his hand to get moving, "Don't think about past now, we already have been facing to our present now. And.., the future too."

You continue, "Consider you carried such a burden and guilt from the past. But there's no use of that anymore."

According from the story plots, he ran away from the problem that he had been through, the bitterness of the past, which he hardly solved it alone due of he received a backlash by the society from his homeland, Xianzhou.

As he ran to the country in nowhere, he bumped into a man named Welt Yang,.. ahem, it was your uncle, of course, deciding to take him in to be your friend.

Now, it seemed he still struggled toward his past's grief, something left unsolved and needing someone to be his side.

But you don't want him to think this deeply or your destruction trait will lead to the bad end. It's better to act this earlier before he is late.

"Whether your past still left isn't settle yet. I'll tell you, you can't run away from your problem even it's been a long time."

"..."

"You can't leave that aside alone if you were still struggling."

You continue as you both walk toward the snowy path, "One day, I assure you, your problem will be solved if you able to face your fear. Try to rely on yourself than keeping yourself in the shadow."

He slowly nodded.

"As for the certain man who often appear in your dream, ah, there's no need to worry. You need a company then."

"I'm not."

"Sure." you sighed.

You both continue to walk, feeling the warmth hands each other, you smiled as he tried not to grip your palm tightly since you knew he wanted this for so long (according to the system, you can read his mind, the imitate thoughts one, only that you allowed to read).

After a short silence, Dan Heng starts to open his mouth again.

"Y/N."

"Yeah?"

"What if.., you were there in my life, I mean, my past life."

You turn at him in curiosity, "Me? Involved in your past?"

He nodded, "Yeah, what if.. you witness the scene that I used to commit a sin that might against the law of that certain country."

He huffs, looking at you with a straighten facial face, "Will you..be upset and leave me because I was a sinner?"

"Woah, there. I understood, just give me a time to imagine." you panicked.

"Sorry, didn't mean to put you such a pressure."

You once recall of his past, he used to be got chained into a prison cell. You remembered that he was likely that he will be sentenced of his death, unfortunately, he left unsucessed but receive amount of big backlashes from the residents from the Xianzhou, as a unforgivable sinner who against one of forbidden laws,

A curse of immortality.

Which that country forbidded an immortality because of unstable cycle between life and death.

Who those who dared to eat a fruit from abundance tree, they shall curse in suffering as an immortal. Ah, well, let's not to get deep into a detail then.

The fact his past has involve any related to do with 'immortality', so he has been facing such a torture fate after living in a prison.

Maybe related to 'resurrection'.

Of course, if that action is a crime, and unacceptable, it may be a harm to others as well.

You answer, "Ah, I would be disappointed or upset if I ever witness the scene."

"..I see."

"But seriously, you were realizing of your doings just to sacrifice your deeds. And uhm.. look, even i was upset, but, I don't think you did on purpose, so if it was me there, I should tell them not to put you such a cruel treatment."

"Why?"

"Because realize for a mistake that you made, I know you tried to avoid anything. But something it urges you to make things like.."

"Resurrection, yes. Maybe.. my past 'self' did that."

"And here you are, you were changing. You must know that how impressive you are, you were trying your best!" you grinned softly.

He surprised, "..Is that so?"

"Turning over new a leaf, that's the phrase said, right?"

He sighed softly, "Yeah."

"And that's the Dan Heng that I knew. You still remained as yourself right here, right now." you looked at him with a confident.

".And you're not deceiving me for that doings?"

"I'll be lying if I said that I don't. But I don't hate you because of that, you were nice."

"Don't act kind."

"I'm speaking the truth."

He can't help but tighten his grip on yours by your words. Just how badly he wants to pinch your cheek. He was..

..glad to be with you, even he wasn't the chosen one.

"Maybe one day, I'll show you my true form."

You beamed, "Really?"

"Let's see."

"That's not fair." you frown.

"That is not about the fairness. It's about happening for the later." he chuckles a bit.

As you both were walking, share a small laughter each other while kept holding hands each other to make it sure you felt warm.

"Hey."

"Yes, again?" you responded.

"Thanks."

"Huh, for what?"

"For existing."

"You stated that like I was a ghost only was a sight on you."

"Don't joke around."

"Can't atleast you say more nicely?"

"It wasn't my problem." he huffs.

You annoyed but he gripped your hand tightening. As if he refuses to let you go.

"Pat my head later. I'll be in your room." he spoke as you both closely arrived to your villa.

"You said that you don't need my company?"

"I'm just saying."

"Kept denying that then I'll be gone."

"Y/N."

"I'm kidding."

Another pinches from him again from irritation for scaring by your words again. Sigh, what a lovely night.

.

.

.

.

.

In the end, Dan Heng silently needs your company during the night so, he took a one seater sofa and moved it next to your bed. For that, he able to get close to you while holding hands each other,

And that, he manages to sleep in peace without getting a same nightmare again.

Consider he did that to be next to you, he must respect your boundaries as well.

Luckily, you insisted, so you reached your hand to him as soon as you laid on your queen-size bed. He shyly took your hand and both of you fell asleep after felt the warmth from the both's palm.

He is now glad, to be with you ever since you both were young (while he wasn't) without feeling anxious or bother. Because you accept him whatever he is, even you're being an idiot to answer that, but you meant what your answer is,

And he whispers in your sleep, "As a promise, I'll protect you, no matter what are you facing now and then."

And he swore to be your side until you both grown up.

In the morning, you ended up being a bedridden again after a cold has strike you.

Sigh, you must endure of your nanny's scolding then.

End.