#ellie spent a good portion of that time hating him

[heartpascal]

I’ve been watching people play the game cause sadly I don’t have a PS4 ;( and a few days ago I began to watch TLOU2 and WHY DID NO ONE ADVISE ME TO HOW HEARTBREAKING IT IS 😭😭 I literally just paused it directly after Joel’s death and I haven’t watched again it makes me so sad, I can’t bring myself to press play again 😭😭😭 why did Joel have to die the first 2 fucking hours like WHAT I wanted more Ellie + joel moments, like the guitar 😭😭😭 but the fact that when joel died he and Ellie had gotten into a fight and were never able to make up 😭😭😭 STOPPP IM NEVER WATCHING AGAIN

idk why but i didn’t get a notification for this i apologise 😭

HELAPEJOGG IM SORRY!!! it is genuinely heartbreaking and joel’s death is honestly so incredibly sad HOWRVER i absolutely encourage you to continue!!!! joel miller is the loml and i was so fucking sad after it but i found that the game is WORTH the suffering. i could talk about it for HOURS. days. WEEKS.

but also if it is any comfort, there are more joel & ellie moments!! plenty of emotionally rich flashbacks for you to cry at <3

(plenty might be a bit of a stretch)

sobbing the fact that ellie never got to forgive joel will haunt me for LIFE. but please keep me updated if you do carry on!!!!

[oonajaeadira]

ADIRA DID U WATCH THE FIRST EP OF TLOU

Hey there, frand!

I didn't actually play the game--I am not really good at games that require a lot of stealth and aim. Add in a horror element and I lock up real hard. But my SO played it and I watched a good portion of that. And then when I heard Pedro got the role I watched the cut scenes. @something-tofightfor clued me in that a lot of the story actually takes place during the gameplay, that there's a lot of things said or done that really cement the characters' bond, so I watched an entire playthrough. (I also watched a TLOU II playthrough, but I have a lot of issues with it, so if I ever write fic, that second one will not exist for me.)

So I knew what was going on. And it's been really fun having folks around me at all levels of experience with these characters. The SO has spent hours with them in the game (and I believe he's played it twice), and my BFF knows almost nothing. Hearing both of their reactions to the first episode has been very interesting. And, of course, knowing how much this show overlaps loves for Rachael (something-tofightfor) and watching her enjoy this all come to life has been a fkn joy.

My own reaction? Has been puzzling. Thank you for asking my opinion, because it gives me a moment to dissect and figure out why I'm feeling the way I am.

I will start off by saying that I love the show. I love the aesthetic and the acting. I love the changes they made and think there are some clever enhancements to the story. I wasn't looking forward to Tess but I am surprised at how much I love her character in this show and how much her character enhances both Joel and Ellie's. Bella of course is brilliant and is Ellie.

Weirdly, the issue I'm having is with Pedro. Kind of.

(cut for minor spoils)

He is rocking it. He is amazing. Like everyone says, he is doing award-worthy work.

But I'm not connecting. I'm not falling in love. And I can't figure out why.

Possibility: this is the first time I've gotten to witness so much behind the scenes stuff while the show was being filmed while I was also a fan that maybe I'm having trouble separating Pedro the actor from Joel the character.

Possibility: I've been waiting so long for this that nothing can possibly match the expectations I've built up.

Possibility: Maybe I should have gone in with less knowledge and let myself be moved organically.

Possibility: I knew that they'd have to make Joel more vulnerable, but I didn't realize just how very broken this version of him would be. And it makes me S A D. Maybe because we saw so much of him in 2003 that the hard switch to this very numb man holding onto his pain feels so far beyond the reach of the heart that I can't find a softness foothold in him and I just slide off him. At least game Joel had the tiniest bit of confidence and sparkle at the beginning--and he needed to be that in order to move through the game. But Pedro's Joel is just barely surviving. And it hurts. And it's brilliant.

And it's this last possibility--if I know myself--that I'm assuming. Because I know what's coming. And I know that Ellie will wear away at that numb exterior and reveal those footholds. Just like Din, Pedro's gonna start us off with someone impenetrable and then show cracks under stress, cracks that let the light through. Just like Din, I will find Joel amazing and compelling at first, someone I love to watch but don't hook into...until the armor comes off and the heart is revealed and then I'm gonna fall really R E A L L Y hard.

And this may be why I'm not drawn to any of the fanfic just yet. I am a soft, soft girl and I can't just go straight to the sex. Especially not the hard sex. I am not someone that wants a dude to treat me rough and dominate me or treat me like a toy or object, I don't want to be the receptacle for hate or anger or pure stress relief without emotional connection. Nor can my heart handle pure, concentrated angst without the possibility of it paying off toward a happy or hopeful ending. (SPOILER: Yes, I know where this show is going, and I still find emotional hope and happiness in the ending. It counts.) And the Joel we know right now seems built for those preferences. To all those writers and readers, I am beyond thrilled for you because fk, Joel is Fertile Ground™. (This is kind of the opposite of me just rolling in the soft gold that Javi G gave us 😂)

But I do love that this Joel is custom built for a more mature girl and reader characters of his age range. I will echo Rachael's opinions that with his paternal instincts toward very young women, I don't think he's an age-gap kind of guy. And neither will he put up with anything less than common sense. And I find that very, very attractive.

What I can't fall in love with is someone devoid of emotion or someone saturated only with sorrow. My heart isn't built that way.

Thankfully, I know that Joel will evolve.

And I really really can't wait to see the scene that opens up and swallows me. That's what I'm excited for. This series has expanded on the story and adjusted Joel just enough that I don't know when that's going to happen or how intensely....and I'm so looking forward to it.

In that way, it's not a problem at all. I kind of love that I'm not falling for Joel just because it's Pedro.

And I think that is the stamp on his talent. That even thought I love our boy, he has done such a phenomenal job at bringing me away from that love and back to the starting line with Joel, starting his character not at an easy place where we love him already, but one that has to be earned.

I think....I think Pedro might break me really hard with this one....

Okay. I'm gonna go cry now.

[dearheartwitcher]

ocs masterpost

for ease of access! in-depth descriptions of all my favorite ocs, all in one post. you can find even more of my ocs (brief descriptions + reference images) over on my art fight page! (you have to be logged in to view!)

[[MORE]]

DnD Characters:

note: for some of these, i have to omit large portions of info as i am either actively playing them, or saving them for a future campaign, and i dont want anyone im playing with to see and accidentally spoil themselves

Fennryn Autumntide—

They were separated from their parents as a baby, and instead raised by an older dwarven woman named Rhiannon Autumntide (AKA Anna). They lived in the forest on the mountain together. She taught them how to fend for themself, and a basic respect for nature and other living things. Their relationship was very teacher/student, but as the years went by they saw each other as family. Fenn solidified this by taking Anna’s last name when they were of age. Eventually, Anna passed away, and Fenn was left in the woods alone.

Fearful of dying alone without ever having experienced life off of the mountain, Fenn sets out to find an adventure. And they find one, alongside a younger tiefling man named Finn. Finn is an experienced pirate, but he is vulnerable. Finn and Fenn trust each other explicitly, and after some time, they fall in love.

Fenn is tall, muscular, and an older elf. They’re around middle aged.

Alistair—

Alistair is a mystery. They are a bizarre-looking half-elf, with a wicked grin, and glowing cyan eyes that lack pupils. They are seemingly fairly young, despite their hair beginning to grow white at the roots.

Alistair is extremely curious, and values sating that curiosity above most things. They spend much of their time exploring and researching. They also have a complete lack of respect for personal boundaries, and love to study and inspect whoever they can get their hands on. (They’re good with a pair of pliers, if you’re willing to let them pull a tooth. They’d be happy to show you their collection.)

Alistair also thrives on positive attention, especially from people who don’t give it easily. Perhaps that’s why they insist on hanging off of Frey as much as they do. Frey Matthias Wolfe is a rich bastard. He’s a man of study as well, but he’s a real mean bitch. And Alistair loves him.

Alistair’s patron... Is a whole other story. One that will remain secret, for now.

Jesse—

Jesse was spawned from the thought “I should make a mean nerd for everyone to bully!” And the execution, imo, was flawless. A 24 year old human man. Jesse is a bard, and he hates it. He has been traveling on his own for a while, and finished his bard college education a couple years ago. He’s pretty studious, and he’s determined to learn everything related to magic that he can.

Despite being a jackass, and kind of a stick in the mud, he does have some semblance of a sense of humor. He also likes to use his intelligence and skill to feel superior to the people around him as often as possible. He is visibly extremely disturbed by corpses.

Jesse is very vague about his past and his reasons for traveling alone.

Ford—

Ford is my newest character! He is a firbolg cowboy. Extremely tall (approaching 8’), with a powerful build. I can’t say much about him yet! He is seemingly very friendly and happy to lend a helping hand whenever he can. He has a sister, named Clementine, who owns a small grocery store.

Cressida:

(note: cressida city + the world its a part of belongs to my boyfriend @ghost-gore ! all the characters that mine know belong to him as well. warning for gore on his blog.)

Ellis—

Ellis is a demon who works in limbo under a man named Crow. Ellis is technically speaking, pretty old, but he looks just as much the young man he was when he died. He keeps his long hair back in a ponytail, and can’t seem to ever wear his suit properly.

Ellis’ powers allow him to see and alter people’s memories. Limbo, as it works out, is a mess of memories. He is always very busy keeping things in order. He’s no stranger to making mistakes, but he has a knack for fixing them to make up for it. When he has a moment to himself, he likes to slip into the dreams of humans. He thinks they’re interesting! (But he keeps accidentally bringing them nightmares...oops. Don’t worry, he can fix it!)

Ellis is in love with his boss, and has been for over a century. He has a hard time keeping it subtle, but fortunately(??) Crow is oblivious. But a century is a long time... And things have gotten intimate between them more than once.

He is also good friends with a much older demon, named Cordia. They like to meet up for drinks, and bond over funny cat pictures.

Rosier—

Rosier is an old, powerful demon. He was once a high-ranking officer in “Hell”’s military. He was charming, and an excellent strategist. (Having a powerful beast form also helps.)

However, something triggered him severely. In a frenzied panic, he shifted into his beast form and flew off.

As a beast, he has large red eyes, long antennae, sharp claws, and huge black wings. Years passed as he isolated himself, and legends spread of the Mothman. Rosier lost himself more and more, until he lost the ability to speak. He stopped seeing any people as the apocalypse happened all around him.

Later, living in the ruins outside of Cressida, he is found by a young hero named Ghost. Ghost is initially intimidated by Rosier, and treats him as an enemy. They fight a few times, before Ghost realizes that Rosier isn’t necessarily a foe— he’s just defending himself. Ghost then begins to treat Rosier almost as a pet.

After some time rehabilitating Rosier, Ghost brings him back to Orion HQ, where they work for Cordia. Cordia is one of very few demons old enough to recognize Rosier.

Eventually, Rosier is able to read, speak, and transform back into a more human shape. He still retains a few of his moth form’s traits, including fully red eyes, fur here and there, and limbs that fade to near-black at the tips.

Cyrus Darcy—

Cyrus is a rich bitch whore. He cares about three things ONLY: wine, sex, and himself. Money is power and he has more than enough of it. His parents passed away when he was a teenager, and they left him a fortune.

Cyrus always gets what he wants. If money can’t get it for him, he has another trick up his sleeve that can. Cyrus is a celestial, meaning a human born with supernatural powers. Cyrus has the power of suggestion, meaning that he can give anyone a short command that they are compelled to follow.

Cyrus has all the makings of a villain, but in actuality he is very neutral. He just wants to have a good time unbothered. He uses his powers mostly to get randos to leave him alone. (Randos like Arley and Kier, who are sent by Cordia to recruit Cyrus for Orion. It takes a while.)

Evelyn—

Evelyn (AKA Evie) was born in the Victorian Era, to a rich father. With money and good looks, she was often pursued by men wishing to court and marry her. She was disinterested in all of them. She preferred to spend her time reading and studying. Evelyn loved to learn, but she also loved a good romance or fantasy to sweep her off her feet.

Enter Cordia, who spent her Victorian days posing as a man. They had a passionate love affair, until Cordia made a sudden exit from Evelyn’s life.

Many years later, Evelyn awakens in the afterlife as an angel. When she and Cordia meet again, it is as equals and business partners.

She is now working as a librarian/an archivist. She also boxes, because she likes to feel strong.

Marcy—

Marcy is a thotty rave twink. They love music, they love neons, and they love to flirt. Marcy is very enthusiastic, and they are a little bit in love with basically everyone. They flirt constantly, and are not shy with physical affection. They like to do drugs and make out and they’re happy to do that with pretty much anyone who’s willing.

Marcy is also a celestial. Their powers allow them to control their personal gravity. They can jump really high, and come down hard, among other things! They mostly use it to help themself go fast. They used to be in roller derby! And they still love to skate.

(ps they have thighs for days and an ass that wont quit. thank u)

Other:

Bonnie Briary—

My newest oc! She belongs to a world where monsters are real, but hidden. Monsters aren’t super common, and they generally avoid integration with human society. (The setting is also a blend of modern + victorian fantasy. Think Lemony Snicket ambiguity.)

Bonnie is shy, sweet, and curious. She likes to study plants in particular. Her style of choice is cottagecore/fairycore blend. She has a garden that she loves very much.

Faust (belongs to tovomiel on ig), is a trash punk gargoyle monster, who for some reason has decided he likes Bonnie. He teases her relentlessly and loooooves to make her flustered. The catch is, he’s too shy to make a move beyond teasing and the occasional kiss. Bonnie, sweet as she is, is dying for him to stop leaving her hanging. Shenanigans ensue.

[bethanyrob-archive]

Gym Time ll Beth & Ella

Discord thread featuring: Beth and @ella-isms

Mentions: @chxrityx @malakhai-ozera @ellicfm

When: The week after the Throuple Pride Party 

Description: Beth and Ella vent to each other at the gym

Trigger Warnings: mentions of past domestic violence

Ella.

whether she liked it or not, ella spent a lot of time in the gym. a certain body type was required for her profession and she had been keeping up on it for this long, couldn't just stop now. as if spending hours upon hours completing grueling variations in the studio wasn't workout enough? still the ballerina did what was expected of her. once she was changed into her gym clothes, the blonde headed to the gym and was actually, almost on time. ten minutes late. that wasn't so bad. not for ella at least. when she arrived she looked around for her friend and upon spotting her headed in that direction. "hey gorge."

Beth.

Beth was prompt as always, she was eager to start her workout anyway. It was unlike her to sit around all day doing nothing, but Ellie had had some free time lately and Beth was enjoying sitting around the house and spending more time with her little sister. She’d take any opportunity to head to the gym though, and it had been a hot minute since she had a good workout. Beth was in the middle of doing a warm up on the treadmill when she spotted Ella. “Hey!” She said, taking several deep breathes. She stopped the treadmill briefly before pulling Ella into a hug. “Thanks for suggesting this. I needed to get off my ass.” She laughed.

Ella.

with the amount of time she spent at this place they should probably start charging her rent. not that she would ever suggest such a thing. but a good portion of the time she did her workouts alone, so that she could get in the zone but once in  a while it was nice to have company. plus, she and beth could catch up. the blonde returned the hug "sorry im already fucking you all up," she chuckled, hopping onto the treadmill next to her. "you're most welcome. i like to think that im a good motivator," a smirk grew on her lips. "what have you been up to though? i feel like time passes and before i know it its been weeks since ive talked to you. sorry im such a flake."

Beth.

Beth shrugged and started to turn up the speed on the treadmill again. “No worries. I just started. I’m just glad you’re here. I need to know about your life.” She smiled as she started to jog. “The best.” She smiled. “I have been up to literally nothing. Just work. Oh, I got into a fight at the pride party a couple weeks ago. Not my finest moment. I will not be drinking like that again.” She said with a huff. “I’ve just been working though. The long hours make me so exhausted by the end of the day that I just want to go home and sleep.” She shook her head. “You’re not a flake. I’m worse than you. I promise. I’m such a recluse.”

Ella.

ella gradually turned up the speed on her treadmill, mostly to a light jog so that she could get her heart rate up while still talking, "how's work been?" she glanced at her friend. and then her brows raised "a fight? what like a fight fight? or an argument?" ella knew that if she meant an argument that's what she would have said. "a fight with who?! about what? details."

Beth.

“Work has been...well work.” She shrugged. “It’s still entry level. I’d really like to open a private practice one day instead of working in a hospital.” Even though Beth was smart, she still needed to work her way up go totem pole. She didn’t LOVE he job now, but she did love her career and field.  Beth laughed as she found her footing. “Like a fight fight. I don’t know if I ever told you about my old friend Charity? The one I fell out with? I was just way too drunk to handle myself and threw my drink at her...then it escalated from there.” Fighting was so unlike Beth but it really was the only interesting thing that happened to her in a while. “Ellie eventually pulled me off though and threw her own drink at her too. It was a great sister moment.” She chuckled.

Ella.

"Suppose it always is, isn't it?" the blonde asked, lifting her shoulders in a shrug. "you'll get there some day. you know its just having to do the grunt work first. it'll all pay off," she assured her with a smile. "no i dont think you ever did, but you're going to have to now. what happened with the falling out? and was that the reason for the fight? you threw your drink at her? shut up. i cant believe i missed that."

Beth.

The brunette nodded. She took several deep breathes as she started to feel her body aching from the run. Just a little bit longer for the warm up. She hated cardio and much preferred lifting. "it fucking better, eh?" She sighed again. "Well...I don't know if I told you this either but I was kind of in an abusive relationship back in Toronto. It's one of the reasons I came here...it wasn't just to get to know Ellie better." she began. "Basically Charity saw it for what it was almost immediately because she's honestly toxic as fuck...and it takes one to know one...if you know what I mean. Anyway, at the time I just thought she was jealous or something. So we fell out, and had it out at Throuple. But yeah..." she said as a smile appeared across her face. "it felt pretty damn good."

Ella.

“It will, all in due time,” Ella assured her as best as she could. “Oh shit...” she muttered as the story began and then she continued to listen to her friend. The blonde almost lost her footing getting lost in her own head because had some toxic behaviors herself. She shook her head to clear her mind of that, or at least attempt to. “So even though charity pointed it out to you at the time, she’s not really much better?” Regaining proper footing her glanced over “had it out because of what happened in the past? I guess you’re not in great terms now?” She lifted a brow “I bet it did. Have you ever tried boxing?” It was something Ella got into herself.

Beth.

Beth shook her head. "Yeah she's been the cause of a couple toxic relationships before...and I mean I stayed out of it and let her do her thing, and then she came in and tried telling me what to do. At the same, it was mostly him getting into my head about how bad of a friend she was." she sighed. "Maybe I should apologize." she said, looking straight forward. "No." she said, looking back over at her blonde friend. "There's boxing at this gym! Wanna give me a lesson?" she asked, hopefully.

Ella.

Sighing and shaking her head ella could sort of see the situation from both sides. “That seems like kind of a no win situation you know? I’m sure she was just trying to help but sometimes it hard to see that when you’re in it. Is apologizing and being friendly again something that you’re interested in doing?” Both brows raised and she grinned “you have to try it! And yes to both of those things. That’s what we’re doing next.”

Beth.

Beth shook her head. "You're right. We both kind of lost in that situation. It sucks especially considering that she was right about him after all." Beth shrugged. "I'm not sure if I'm interested in being friendly again with her to be honest...but i do feel like I need to get this off of my chest. It's been weighing on me, ya know?" Beth started turning the speed on her treadmill down. She could feel the beads of sweat collecting on her temples and her heart rate beginning to climb. "Consider me warmed up, then. I'm ready for a lesson, sensei."

Ella.

“People can get in your head for all kinds of different reasons. Sometimes it’s a good thing sometimes it’s not so great..” the blonde told her friend with a shrug. “Well maybe just say something along the lines of you’re sorry that things escalated that you didn’t mean for it to and that you hope you can at least be civil. Or something along those lines?” As they both slowed down the blonde grabbed her water bottle for a sip. “Let’s do this” hopping off the treadmill, Ella led Beth across the gym and into the room with the boxing equipment. “This is my second favorite stress reliever,” grabbing the tape she would wrap beths hands before helping her into the gloves. “Let’s see those hooks you know how to throw,” she smirked, grabbing the pads for her own hands to hold up for Beth.

Beth.

Beth smiled lightly to herself and nodded. Talking to Ella about this was therapeutic, and it was something she hadn't really said out loud to many people before. "Thanks, sorry for the word vomit." The brunette nodded. "Yeah, I don't have any interest in being friends really, but that might be a good thing to say. I just have to find a way to swallow my pride and suck it up and do it." Beth stepped off the treadmill and followed the blonde across the gym. "What's your first favorite?" he asked, raising her brow. Beth held her hands out for Ella to wrap them. This was something that was completely out of Beth's comfort zone, but she trusted Ella so she was actually pretty excited about this. Beth shook her head, but couldn't help but laughing at Ella's sarcastic comments. Beth took a deep breath, and eyed the pads on the other's hands. With her right hand, she took a swing and hit the pad - hard. "Oh!" Beth exclaimed. That felt good. She took another swing with her left arm and hit the other pad. "Damn." she mumbled.

Ella.

“No need to apologize, love!” The blonde assured the other girl. “I’m always here if you want to vent you know that.” She was glad that Beth unloaded what was on her mind, it was good to get that stuff off her chest. “Couldn’t hurt to just clear the air and move on from it,” Ella agreed with a nod of her head. Glancing over at the other Ella made a face as if she should already know the answer “orgasms,” she reminded her with a wink and a laugh. After clapping the two pads on her hands together Ella would hold them up, “alright, hit me.” She paused for a moment “well not me, the pads. You know what I mean.” She nodded and let Beth go at it holding the pads with some resistance “damn girl, you’re a hard hitter. Feels good though doesn’t it?”

Beth.

Beth smiled. This was why her friendship with Ella was so great. She was so easy to talk to and knew just what to say. Beth quickly turned her attention to the pads in front of her. It felt fucking great. To say the least. "Fuck, yes." Now she had remembered by she liked the feeling of fighting Charity at the pride party. After several solid swings, she felt herself working up a sweat. "Alright. Your turn. What do you need to vent about?" she asked her blonde friend, as she took a breather and a few sips from her water bottle.

Ella.

Ella was glad that once in a while her words and advice could be heeded because lord knew that she wasn’t great at taking her own advice. “I know running seems like it clears your mind and all, and don’t get me wrong, running is great once in a while but it’s got nothing on actually punching stuff, ya know?” She replied with a chuckle.  The blonde lifted her shoulders in a shrug and then sighed “I slept with my ex and it rekindled all kinds of fucking feelings that I have no idea what to do with.” Ella hated talking about her feelings “that about sums it up.” She hit the two pads together again and attempted to change the subject “go on, have another go” she held them up.

Beth.

Beth nodded. She loved running and the endorphins it gave off when she did. But this...well she may have just found her new favorite stress reliever. "Oh fuck.." Beth raised her brow. She was so taken aback that her stance weaken a little, but she quickly tensed up again so that she could throw another solid punch."Who's your ex? Do I knew him?" she asked curiously. Maybe she was being a little too snoopy but she genuinely wanted to know who this person was. "You wanna take some hits now?" she asked. "Kinda sounds like you need that."

Ella.

Working out was definitely a good stress reliever and Ella was glad that today she had a partner to do it with. “I literally couldn’t help it. It’s like. We’re like...” the blonde was struggling to find the right words, as usual “I don’t know. Like magnets or something , just “ she brought her two hands together in a quick fashion to make her point. “Mal-“ she was quick in correcting herself “Khai.” That’s what everyone else called him. And she was sure Beth probably knew of him it seemed like most people did that was part of why she had such difficultly in the first place. “It’s just complicated,” the dancer sighed. “May as well,” maybe hitting something would relieve whatever these emotions were that she had built up.

Beth.

Beth's jaw kind of dropped a little. It was clear that Ella's life was far more interesting than hers. Making out with exes was something that Beth didn't do frequently...well..making out with anyone was something she didn't do a lot anymore. She had become a bit of recluse since she broke up with her abusive ex. Beth thought for a moment. She had heard his name around but never really met him. "I know of him, but I don't think I've ever actually met him." she reported. "How is it complicated exactly? Tell me all the tea." she joked, as she motioned for her friend to hold out her hands so she can wrap them for her.

Ella.

Ella sighed noticing her friends reaction, she probably would have had a similar one had the tables been turned. “My impulse control has always been shit, but my self control around him is literally non existent,” she explained. “And isn’t that complicated enough in itself?” Part of her was sort of relieved that Beth didn’t know him it meant she didn’t have any preconceived notions of the situation. “We were together for like two years. And we were doing this like, open relationship thing, which was so stupid because we both hated the thought of each other with anyone else. Then he wanted to get married, and proposed, and I totally freaked because.... well for a lot of reasons, and I left.” Ella held her hands out, “and I shouldn’t have. Because now everything’s all fucked up.”

Beth.

Beth laughed as her friend admitted to being weak around her ex. Beth could empathize. She had no idea what she would do if she saw her ex from Toronto in New York. "That's very fair." she mused. Beth shook her head. "Open relationships never work for that reason. My theory is that if you love someone you'd be committed enough to them to sleep with them and only them." she said, wrapping her friend's hands like she did for her. "Jesus, you were engaged? she questioned. She couldn't imagine being engaged at such a young age, then again, she hadn't met anyone she'd be willing to marry like that. "So you broke up with him and regret it I'm gathering?" she asked, putting the pads on her hands.

Ella.

Weak was probably the understatement of the century, but Ella couldn’t think of a more fitting word at the moment. “Yeah you’re right...” she agreed with a nod, what she said about open relationships was completely accurate. “Neither of us really wanted the relationship to be open.. I just.. I don’t know why I went with it. I guess I thought in a way it was protecting myself, like I had a fall back plan keeping someone else waiting in the wings just in case...” it made her sound like such a shitty person and the more she spoke the worst she felt. “I wasn’t engaged ... I just said he proposed... I ... i didn’t say yes.” Closing her eyes briefly she shook her head with a sigh.

Beth.

Beth furrowed her brow. The whole relationship sounded a little strange, then again she didn't have the best track record. "Sounds a little toxic?" she questioned, unsure if she was using the right word. "Good thing you didn't say yes because honestly that could have opened a whole other can of worms." she smiled, sympathetically. "Could've been worse, Ella." she told her. "Have you guys talked since?"

Ella.

Ella was unfortunately acutely aware that she had been the toxic one in the relationship and it wasn’t something she was proud of. “Of it could have ended up being just the two of us happily ever after,” of course it was impossible to be sure about that but she could still assume it might have turned out that way. “Since we slept together? Yeah. We’re still... talking about where to go from here I guess. Taking it slow...” shaking her head she sighed again “and it’s scary as fuck to be honest.”

Beth.

"Maybe..." she trailed off, even though she wasn't too convinced of it herself. But it wasn't her relationships so who was she to judge? She raised her brow, curiously. "Are you still in love with him?" she asked, a mischievous glimmer in her eye.

Ella.

Ella shot her friend a look, she could tell by the way she let her sentence trail off that she didn’t believe that would be the case. Hitting her gloves together the blonde would throw her punches at the pads, not nearly as hard as she would normally, this was all about easing Beth in after all. “Completely,” she admitted with a sigh “I don’t really know how to handle it. Help me!” She laughed.

Beth.

Beth jumped a little when Ella hit the pads, not really expecting that she would have to really hold her stance if Ella wasn't going to knock her on her ass. She tightened up a little, flexing her muscles for a more sold stance. "Girl, I am the last person that should be giving out relationship advice." she admitted with a tiny laugh. "But if I were to give you some advice from the little I know about the situation...It sounds like you can do way better. If the rumors I've heard about Khai is true, then he's got a lot of his own shit he needs to work on."

Ella.

Ella was trying not to go with her usual force but that was also hard to do when there was something on her mind, too. “Clearly I’m not great in relationships either.” She took a few more hits putting more thought into the force behind them this time so it’s wasn’t overbearing “we’ve all got our own shit though don’t we?”

Beth.

"We can get shit at them together then." she admitted, holding her stance for Ella. "Yeah, I guess. But that doesn't mean we need to bare others' as well. Sometimes we gotta just focus on helping ourselves, eh?"

Ella.

“I’m already shit at them!” Ella said with a laugh and a shake of her head. “But isn’t that sort of what you do when you love someone? Take the good with the bad?”

Beth.

Bethany thought about how we're supposed to love the good and the bad about the people you're with. Beth did that. She loved the good and the bad about her ex, and gave him several chances to fix the bad. "Sometimes the good out weighs the bad.." she paused. She didn't want to be a downer on during their gym session. "But ya know...I'm sure Khai was worth it." she mused.

Ella.

“Sometimes it does...” letting out a sigh she could feel her shoulders sinking down some. “I know I probably need to just stop talking about it because I don’t know what will come of it. It’s just like... it consumes my fucking mind, I don’t know what to do.”

Beth.

Beth huffed. "Working out helps." she told her. "I also heard there's a great therapist around here." she suggested. "But you can always talk to me about it, yeah?" she smiled over at her friend.  "How about we get some food? I'm starving."

[redknight3996]

The Demon Lord’s Generals 3

Chapter 3 – The Infernal Educator

Tokru 10th, 2924

The Demon Lord Oglizu IV is killed in battle against the Chosen Hero, Cyril Corner of Rosiava, on the fields of Naloriva.

At the same time, within the town of Gravelane, Inrapaba, the third son of the Samore family is born to Marwen and Dorothea Samore. He is named Hans, after his grandfather, who died in service to the Demon Lord. This event is not yet significant to history.

Jubi 27th, 2931

Hans Samore, at six years old, meets and befriends Florent Linsal, a nineteen year old college student at the nearby Losgrum Institute of the Infernal Arts and Mystic Sciences and a childhood friend of Hans’s oldest brother, Ludo.

Linsal had been studying to become an instructor, and liked kids. As such, he encouraged the quiet, well-read boy to study further and explore the true mysteries of the world they lived in. Twelve years later, Linsal would kill seventeen people of varying races and rob numerous graveyards in several attempts to form a unique type of “flesh golem” at the behest of an unknown sponsor. He was caught, convicted, and executed by the Fevokin Clan of Olafiba.

This event was not relevant to Hans, who spent his youth studying, learning, and speaking with the other scholars of the Institute. From them, he gained a love of learning, and a dream of teaching like those proud professors who lectured in their great halls.

This decided his eventual fate.

Ludo Samore would inherit his parent’s pottery shop, and live a calm, peaceful life. Kurt Samore would join the Land Guard of Inrapaba, take a severe amount of bribes, and inadvertently drown himself when a drunken, miss-timed step sent him into a canal within the city of Lordsgrave. 

And Hans Samore would become a warlock. While teaching was most certainly his deepest passion–a dream he wanted to pursue more than anything–he discovered what he would pursue as his central discipline within a far more beautiful place.

The Written World–crafted by scribes and scholars and formed into those grand bastions of knowledge known as libraries–drew him in as the sun above draws flowers birthed by its light. And it was there, within the pages of some great tomes, Hans found that he quite adored demons.

Neroh 20th, 2942

Hans Samore officially enters the university portion of the Logrum Institute as the first semester of the year begins. 

He promptly entered into the field of “Demonic Studies”, majoring in both Infernal Magics and Education, and began his higher education career without hesitation after many years of learning at a variety of libraries and the lower levels of the Institute. He met many people there, friends and acquaintances; some he kept, some he lost, many he was glad to know, and none he truly hated.

There were a few he didn’t like, certainly, and there were others he liked a great deal. Elizabeth Maribelle Tealmarn–Eliza or Liza to her friends, never Lizzy or Elly unless one wanted to get stabbed with a foreleg–of the Starshire Coterie was one individual who fit in both categories, albeit at separate times. 

She also happened to be a vibrant blue and white-flecked aranae–in essence, a giant sapient spider–much to Hans’s immediate fascination, which she promptly found annoying, and that was how he wound up being stabbed on his second day of university. A good start, all things considered, and the two of them quickly became something of academic rivals, though they did gradually drift apart for some time.

Hans wanted to be an educator, and Eliza wanted to be an arcanist; the two had overlapping interests, but not fully concurrent ones, so he eventually did have to say goodbye to his friend as the focuses of their courses changed. That, and Eliza decided to join up with the Demon Lord Fearon, who wasn’t a particularly impressive lord and barely lasted two years before being challenged by a rival by the name of Orast, who lasted a good deal longer.

Not that such matters mattered in the slightest to Hans, who was occupied with other matters of greater importance, at least to himself. Namely, he had obtained his first teaching job.

Pibri 27th, 2947

On this date, three years into his job educating a number of adolescents at the Fierview Academy, Hans Samore lost his right arm.

The entire right arm. All the way up to his shoulder.

Suffice to say, that was rather inconvenient.

Certainly, he would later refer to this incident as an “unfortunate poultry accident” in good humor, but at the moment, there was a great deal more screaming of curses at the typhonic cockatrice that had quite literally ripped his arm straight from its socket in a messy spray of gore and gulped it down like an owl would a rat. 

It certainly didn't help that the beast had caught him off guard when some students came running through the campus halls. Three of his students had apparently thought they could take down the terrifying cockatrice through their combined might, confident and self-assured in that foolish way many teenagers could be. They were very wrong, and the trio learned that lesson well. 

Thankfully, Hans was able to keep it from being a fatal lesson, though if there was one thing he regretted about that day, it would be that he was unable to finish the beast himself. Blood loss along with severe pain tends to prevent one from focusing long enough to cast spells, as he would learn that day. Equally thankfully, he managed to defend himself long enough for his fellow teachers to save him.

If there was any form of short term benefit, he would have said it would be that he was able to catch up in his reading while he recovered. That, and cockatrice organs did make for good materials...

However, for Hans, life would never be the same. He had to take some time off teaching to recover, and he had to get used to only using his left arm. The phantom pain was also certainly a pain to deal with. 

However, he did find one method that would change his life, also ensuring that it would never be the same, but in a more positive manner.

Ondru 3rd, 2947

Contracting with a demon was certainly a tricky thing to do. While some people might assume that a demonic contract would always be with an Ouzan, otherwise known as a Demon God, that was rarely the case, and it certainly wouldn't work well in his case. As much as he adored the demonic, he knew his desires would not be fulfilled if he tried to beg the gods for relief.

Why, who would give someone like him godly power simply because his wanted arm back? It was still a shame though, he would have loved a meeting with the Ouza, though that most likely would have ended with his death for calling upon one for something so petty. The Ouza were amazing, wondrous deities, but that did not make them nice.

As such, he did the next best thing: summon an Acedian. 

It was a logical move. He certainly wasn’t the first person to make an arm out of a demonic entity–really, the natural metaphysical nature of demons and how they could be subjugated made them extremely useful entities for creating any sort of weapon or artifact–and he wasn’t seeking a great power or strength from the deal. He just wanted a new arm. So why not go for the laziest variant of demon out there?

And so, after several months of studying and preparation, he called forth the demon Ko. She was a half-ethereal being, her blue skin phasing between flesh and water, with long, drooping, royal blue hair that looked as though it had never been cut, flowing down her body like the loose fabrics draped over her.

And thankfully, it appeared she was willing–speak, trade–to negotiate. All things considered, he was quite lucky. Acedians were, of course, incredibly lazy beings, it came with their nature, but their dispositions could vary. While one would regard a summoning as a slight diversion, something to go along with to get through it easier, a different one would have tried to lop off his head if he hadn't put down a containment seal on the circle. Sometimes laziness meant laxness, other times it meant hostility towards those that would ask for any type of effort.

Ko was the former, and at the cost of one eye–easy trade, nothing to worry, good value–he formed a contract with her, and he was able to regain his arm. Or, to be more accurate, he gained a new arm, which came with its own set of problems. 

It was certainly odd; with just a thought he could reform his arm at any time–albeit one made of cloth–and yet it took more than a thought to master. Simply growing accustomed to writing with that arm took months, a good deal of which was spent gaining enough control to not snap what he held. Legibility, on the other hand, took much longer, not helped by his sharp decrease in depth perception. 

He would never fully regain the ability to feel with that arm. It would always feel dulled at best, as though he was gripping objects through a thick glove. 

His contract with Ko did allow him full use of his arm, and a guarantee that she would never try taking control of it at any inopportune times, though it did come with the further cost of her running commentary in the back of his head. She did tend to sleep a great deal, so it wasn’t too constant, but she had a surprising energy for complaining when he went for more strenuous activities.

Ah well, such was life. Of more concern, though less immediate to him than his physical issues, was the worsening situation in the Dark Lands. Fearon was not dead yet and was stubbornly clinging to what territories he had claimed in the swamplands, while Orast had gained a great deal of power up in Olafiba, which put Inrapaba straight in the middle of an increasingly aggressive and personal war to become the “True Demon Lord”. 

It was a fascinating conflict and certainly an interesting time to live it, but Hans did not want to get involved in any of it, so he came to the conclusion that a sabbatical was in order. He’d lost a great deal, and learned just how little he knew. Not merely about fighting and killing, but about the world. About expecting how strange and sudden the world could be.

So off he went, to new lands.

Ecta 4th, 2955

Pianaro de Liorzula was a lovely city situated in the “Third Country” of the Sun Lands, the northwestern portion of the southernmost continent, dominated by rivers, canals, and great lakes. As such, it was a naturally humid and often sweltering portion of the vast continent, though one wouldn’t think that if they lived in Pianaro.

Unlike a majority of the hot and sunny Sun Lands–something of a redundancy there–Pianaro was a surprisingly temperate location, located, as it was, on one of the many lakes dotting Liorzula. An odd place for the grand mix of library and dungeon known as the Paper Church, certainly, but one that seemed to work well for it.

Hans certainly didn’t mind the intriguing change of scenery. The way sunlanders would raise the very earth up from the bottom of lakes to form their cities right on a source of freshwater was quite inspired. He’d seen more than his fair share of ramshackle docktowns back along Inrapaba’s marshes and Ostrotoba’s swamps, so to see such grand stone structures–mostly composed of lighter, white stones decorated with indigo and violet paints and patterns–rise out of the waters like cresting whales frozen in place was inspiring, in a way.

Though, supposedly, the “Written Church” had not been built on a lake. Rather, the lake came to it, according to legend. Supposedly, some followers of one of those Rakuli Elders–the “divine” or “angelic” counterparts to the Ouzan Ancients–had declared the Ouzan Church to be blasphemous and heretical, and did what most zealous sects were want to do; namely, they attempted to destroy it, and failed miserably. No fire could catch on the pale stones of the palatial church–each bearing inscriptions and writings from perhaps thousands of scholars–and the stones would not obey the fools’ demands to sink it into the earth.

As such, the zealots decided to drown the demonic library, and, as such stories often went, wound up ending their own lives in the folly. Sources argued on whether the zealots had unleashed the demonic guardians of the church, who then drove them mad, or if they drowned in their attempt to sink the structure, but regardless, they were said to have died gruesomely, so all’s well that ended–

“Hans, we have a guest,” Bishop Hashid spoke, interrupting his musings and drawing Hans’s attention away from the tomes he’d been cataloguing into the Church’s libraries. A number of demonic ones, newly recovered from one of the sunken pyramids, though they were copies rather than the originals, which needed to be kept– “Hans.”

Hans blinked at the marid. “Er, yes?”

“We have a guest from the Dark Lands. I want you to show her around. You need some time out of this backroom, you know?” He smiled, the action shifting the blue markings drifting down his dark, bearded face.

“Ah. Of course, sir.”

He sighed. “You don’t need to call me sir.”

“Er, yes, sir.”

Bishop Hashid just sighed again, then walked on out, folding his hands into his white, word-covered robes. A second later–well, a few seconds...maybe a minute or two–Hans got up from his desk and headed through the vast shelves to the main foyer of the Church, which was as lovely as ever. 

Brilliant white lanterns illuminated the mosaic floors, which had four “paths” snaking out from the main doorway and leading into the four primary sections of the library: one on the left, one on the right–which Hans was coming from–and two directly across from the entrance, one with a staircase leading upwards and the other going down. There was also a central desk–manned by acolytes of the church–and in front of said desk was a rather fascinating individual:

An arachne, clad in a deep indigo, high collar dress that was laced in and button with a number of sapphires–the cold-associated gems certainly explained how she appeared to be fine wearing such thick garments in the heat of the Sun Lands–and matched by a wide-brimmed hat that covered her otherwise shaved head. Further of interest was her rather unique skin tone, compared to most arachne, which featured a primarily blue chitin flecked with white spots, almost like freckles–

“Hans?” Oh. 

“...Eliza?”

“...” Elizabeth Tealmarn eyed him for a moment, all eight of her upper pupils examining his form. “...You look dehydrated.”

He was missing an arm and an eye, and yet that was what she chose to notice. Odd. “I have been busy. Water would ruin the books.”

“Good to hear you’re still an idiot.” She sighed, then seemed to brighten and smiled. “Well, I suppose this is fortuitous regardless. Now I don't need to force pleasantries with someone I don't know.” 

“Does that mean it won't be forced with me?”

“Oh gods no, why would I be pleasant with you?” 

Hans chuckled. “It’s good to see you too, Lizzy.”

Oh, he actually dodged the stab that time. Wonderful! Though he didn't dodge her leg smacking against him. Less wonderful. 

Anyhow, as it turns out, once it became clear the–now deceased–Demon Lord Fearon was going to lose, Eliza metaphorically jumped ship, leaving his forces behind and making her way to the Sun Lands to lay low for some time. The Demon Lord Orast was rather annoyed at her, after all, and the remnants of Fearon’s forces weren’t happy either, so a trip to another continent seemed quite warranted. And it appeared that she wished to spend her time there studying, hence why she came to Scripture's church. 

And so, it came as no surprise that Hans was tasked with being her guide while there. The church was rather protective of its books, and–regardless of who they may be–all guests needed someone to keep an eye on them to ensure nothing was damaged or taken. Thankfully, it appeared that Eliza did not abruptly gain a hatred for the written word since they last met, and she was even able to use her multiple sets of eyes to quickly transcribe whatever caught her interest onto any paper she brought with her, her lower ones constantly reading, while her upper ones stayed trained on what she was writing. 

A handy talent, and one he honestly wanted, but likely could not obtain due to actually having one less eye than the average human. And he could not replace it due to the deal he made. And adding more eyes would likely involve some intense bodily modifications so–Yes, bad idea, dropping that idea.

However, her talent did mean that her time at the church wasn't particularly long, and she would soon come to part with the church. Although she wouldn't be going alone. 

Hans enjoyed the church, certainly, and he greatly enjoyed reading the tomes available to him, but he wanted more experiences from life, and Eliza did insist on having him come along with her. Not because she didn’t have anyone around and was feeling lonely, but because he could be useful, “for a cripple”.

Suffice to say, he enjoyed showing off his demonic arm when the first occasion came, though it did result in her deciding he could carry her bags after all, so there were gains and losses there. More losses, particularly when Ko awoke and started complaining in his mind–what, no, book place comfy, good place, go back–about leaving the comforts of the library. 

Ah well. Such was life.

Neroh 5th, 2967–

“HANS! GET UP HERE ALREADY!”

Hans sighed, and closed his book as he got out of his bunk, ignoring the mutterings–irritating arachnid, make her quiet, easy to kill–of his demonic partner in his brain.

“We won’t be killing Eliza, I’m very fond of her,” he replied as he made his way up on deck, where the storm clouds overhead roiled and the seas toiled.

“You’re damn right you won’t be killing me,” Eliza snapped, frowning at him first, then at his arm, “Is it talking again?”

“She is, yes.”

“She, yes, right. No matter, we’re here.” She turned, her arms crossed over her chest as she looked over the side–portside, if he remembered his nautical terms correctly–towards the heavily forested shoreline of Ostrotoba.

“Ah, the Swamplands. As beautifully dreary as they’ve ever been,” he commented, smiling. Really, the land there was more mud and water than actual soil, but still the trees persisted. Stubborn plants, as befitting a very stubbornly untamed land.

“We both come from Inrapaba. Do we have any right to be calling anywhere in the world ‘dreary’?”

“You forget, but I grew up in the eastern side. Mine hometown was a snowy wonderland, though I doubt it compared to the Starshire caverns, Lady Tealmarn.”

Eliza did not huff, as that would not be polite. She did, however, shoot him a glare. “...Our privileged upbringings do not decrease the dreariness of the rest of those sodden marshlands we’re forced to call home.”

“By dint of some borders established long ago, quite.” He grinned up at her. “Is that a sense of awareness, mine lady? Our travels certainly have been good for you.”

“I can and will throw you overboard.”

“I have a water demon for an arm.” Wash spider, sea take. “She can swim, Ko.” Fehhhh…

“Do you even realize how eerie it is when you do that?”

“I realize, and I find it fun.”

“Hmph.”

And so, Hans Samore returned to the Dark Lands. It wouldn’t be the last time, certainly, but it was good to be home. Well, on his home continent.

He did visit many of his old haunts–his family’s pottery shop was doing well, and Fierview Academy was undergoing some much needed reconstruction after a series of unfortunate conflagrations–and yet, his wanderlust remained, despite Ko’s frequent, if half-hearted and somewhat sleepy, protests; as such, the siren song of adventure–nooooooo...–called!

And he did have a great many adventures, most of which did not involve an immediate threat of death. Not all though, and those ones did tend to stick in his mind, for obvious reasons.

One even involved sirens! Fascinating beings, really, if very odd; they were somewhat like a mix of harpies and mermaids, with forms consisting of folkish upper bodies covered in fish-like scales, feathers in place of body hair, avian wings in place of arms–noticeably mimicking the wings of seabirds, specifically–and piscine lower halves. It was certainly strange to see them move, and they had the most delightful of singing voices, though the hypnotic quality of said voices was an issue, as was that particular tribe’s penchant for robbing and murdering their unwary victims.

Thankfully, with Ko's help–hey hey hey hey, ignore noise, focus–he was able to remain unaffected on his own journey to their small island off the coast of Skiritaba, even if it was only because the demon only acted once it seemed like he would die. 

Despite the fact that his initial meeting with them had gone rather poorly, a part of him was hoping to meet more people of their species. Hypnosis was a rather rare art, so for an entire species to be able to innately use it was fascinating. Unfortunately, it appeared the majority of their race lived within the Dusk Lands, likely being a native race to the mysterious sub-continent, so his chances of encountering a peaceful tribe were rather slim.

Especially considering how every expedition to those lands failed miserably. The deep, dark, nearly black fog covering that entire region of the sea meant anyone entering would either find themselves lost until they successfully left the fog at another end, or they would simply never come out. Supposedly, the fog could tell if one's intentions were peaceful or malicious, and those with evil intentions would never leave…

But no matter on that. Hans had other things to focus on, and while he often spent his time in the Dark Lands as a tutor and educator–primarily for the families of nobilities though he did spend a number of years traveling from various academies and institutes to provide an education in the demonic arts to a broader audience–he’d often spend a great deal of time on expeditions as well. 

Really, throughout the majority of the 60s and entirety of the 70s, he was traveling around the Dark Lands and its various regions, studying the cultures and offering his own learnings to those interested. He even published a multitude of books focused on demonology and the infernal arts.

Granted, that did bring him some unwanted attention from those seeking power. For some reason, a number of idiots seemed to believe his fascination with the demonic meant he would be interested in joining their efforts in whatever false rhetoric they felt like spouting at the moment. Ridiculous excuses for their violence would always spill from their lips so readily–declarations of vengeance against the cruel Light Land kingdoms, pledges to overthrow the “tyrannical” Rakuli, promises to promote some sort of “natural” rights, etcetera–and Hans had no patience for any of them.

Certainly, an evil soul that was honest about their evil wasn’t any better than one that pretended they were working for a greater good, but the insistence that they were working for higher purposes grated. It was like they thought he was stupid.

Though, perhaps he was? In the 80s, as the first successful Demon Lord in some time began to rise–some idiot called Irascagan with more power than sense and a disturbing lust for blood–he’d decided to travel back to the Sun Lands once more, to study those lands again and avoid the conflicts, which he successfully did for a number of years. Yet for all his vaunted intelligence, he really didn’t see it coming when, on an expedition to the South Pole, a member of his own research team went mad and butchered every single person there on the 5th of Ondru, 2989.

Aside from Hans–and Ko–of course.

Suffice to say, Hans decided it was best to stay at his own home continent after that one. The South was just too heated–booooo…–for him. Really, the fact that the South Pole was a burning land of eternal Summer should’ve clued him into its volatility...

Besides, he had other things to do. He was in his sixties by that point, and relaxing for a few years sounded like a good plan. Eliza had her own Conservatory set up for some time, with an apparent focus on cataloguing and preserving various specimens of monstrous species from around the world, and while he did enjoy his time with her–though she could be rather obtuse at times–he still wanted to travel, and if there was one thing the lightlanders were good for, it was ridding the Dark Lands of annoyingly violent leaders.

So he traveled once more, with some slight idea in mind of perhaps, maybe, finding an apprentice. He’d had students, certainly, a great many students he adored a great deal, but he’d never taken on a singular pupil directly into his tutelage to pass on every detail he had of his craft and knowledge. 

It wasn’t an immediate concern to him; he certainly had no fear for his own mortality, but still, there was that thought, sitting in the back of his mind. 

Suffice to say, he didn’t think he’d find a shockingly good candidate so abruptly on a small trip to Fallrein, on one warm summer evening.

Seta 12th, 2997

“So, was there a particular reason you chose mine hotel room to burgle, young one?” Hans asked the youth once he had them properly restrained at the room’s tea table. Conjured crimson chains–layered multiple times because the youth had an intriguing talent for dispelling magic–kept them secured to one chair as Hans sat in the other, pouring tea for them both.

“...” The youth simply glared at him, their bright, vivid emerald green eyes narrowed in anger beneath their fiery, orange bangs and the dark hood they wore, yet there was no hint of shame. 

“You noticed the enchantments and wards I had set, I’m sure,” he continued as he added and stirred some honey into his cup, “Eyes are windows to the soul, and yours shine with infernal magic. You had to have noticed, yes?”

“...Of course I did,” the youth replied, shifting only slightly in their restraints. Perhaps testing how tightly they fit? Not that it mattered, the chains were being maintained by Hans’s will and would tighten or loosen at his discretion. “Someone with so many protections would have to be rich. That makes them worth robbing.”

Hans couldn’t help chuckling at their reply. “True, quite true, unless they happened to be impoverished but skilled.”

“Then they wouldn’t be staying in a hotel. They’d make their own place.” Surly, but a good answer.

“You do make a good point, young…?”

“Lady.” She scowled deeper then, showing her very white teeth, which were quite unlikely to be seen in a presumably homeless thief.

“Oh ho? Lady is an interesting choice of words. Are you not a common woman then?”

The girl stiffened, then glared right at him. “Fuck you!”

Hans did his best to keep himself form smiling there as her voice cracked. Decades of experience–and a simple understanding of people–informed him that teenagers were not happy to be condescended to and if he gave the young lady the impression that he did not take her seriously, she was bound to react poorly. “I beg forgiveness, young lady. How may I offer my aid?”

Her anger flickered out, a candle snuffed with a confused frown. “...What? Aid?”

“Of course. I am a tutor of nobility, you see, and a young lady in obvious trouble does naturally prompt mineself to take action. So, would you like for me to purchase a room for you here?”

“...No. I don’t need charity.”

Hans raised an eyebrow and made a very deliberate point to look over the dark, stained and torn cloak and equally patchy pants she was wearing. And… “Are you using stones for shoes?”

“...I-It’s easier. Rock magic makes it...Sh-Shut up.”

Letting out a sigh, Hans brought his hand up, and with a flick of his wrist, her rock shoes fell apart. 

“H-Hey! What the fuck was that for!?” she exclaimed as she tried to move away. 

“Oh my, my apologies, it now appears as if I owe you one.” 

“W-Wha–Fuck you!” 

Hans remained quiet and kept a neutral face as he took in the blisters and bloodstains covering the young lady’s feet. It took a great deal of effort to avoid sighing.

“Well, since we are at a hotel, I shall be going to get something to eat. I hope that would make up for mine accident?”

“What? Why would that make up for anything?”

“Oh? I had assumed a meal would, at the very least, make up for mine accident, but if you believe I owe more, I would certainly wish to repay you promptly.”

“...U-Uh...W-Wait, you meant...You’re giving me a meal?” Oh, the hope she tried to hide there nearly broke the old man’s heart. He wouldn’t show that though. 

“A meal, and a room, if you want. I owe you, and debts need to be repaid.” Hans smiled. “And no, this is not something you will ever need to ‘pay me back’ for. This is mine repayment to you. That is the terms of our agreement, and will be the end of any interactions between us, if that is what you wish.”

The girl visibly swallowed, her nervousness obvious, and yet, she took a chance. “Th-Those...Those shoes were, uh...p-pretty important to me. So...w-with the sentimental value, a-and all…” She was tense, wary of pushing too far and upsetting him.

But Hans was a patient man, and he had interacted with many children in his long life. So he smiled again. “Then yes, I do believe I owe you a great deal more, in that regard. So it is mine solemn promise to you, young lady, that I, Hans Samore, shall repay mine debt to you in full.”

Despite his promise, it took a great deal of time for that wariness to fade. The young lady was a cautious person, one who only told him her name was Miriam–though she stated a preference for shortening said to “Mira”–after he’d fully paid for both her meals and room. Still, he was glad to have met her, and would have been satisfied with leaving her a new pair of traveling boots and a coinpurse of gold to fully repay his “debt”.

Then he noticed she was following him.

Now that was quite different. 

He even took some rather sudden turns and yet she never strayed far from him.  

No matter though. If she just so happened to be going on the same path as him, who was he to stop her? Besides, having another companion after so long would be fun as well–no, she's loud...–even if Ko didn't like her at first. 

As such, when next he sat, he invited Mira over to his table within the city’s park, itself a leftover from the defeat of a long dead Demon Lord. She went stiff at that moment, then walked out from the shrubbery she had been using for cover with the bearing of one embodying grace–ratty, weird–and dignity. And so, they talked some more.

It appeared as if she had been traveling by herself for some time before they had met, and as someone with Hans’ nature that simply wouldn't do. First things first: making sure she was properly clothed instead of the rags she had. Of course, she wouldn't allow him to buy clothes for her, but if he just so happened to walk into a tailor's shop and spent enough time there that she started looking at some clothes–plus some sly handing over of some coin for a worker to go over and help her out–then soon enough, she had new clothing. 

Though it did take a bit of trial and error since she didn't seem to care for the dresses first offered, and insisted she changed clothes by herself, without the attendant’s aid. 

She really did seem to want to be self-sufficient, and did take great care in keeping track of her things; she even noticed when he attempted to slip in some more coins in her bag due to her habit of constantly counting them whenever they rested. But if he had her act as an assistant of sorts, well, getting paid was only natural. 

Though, she wouldn't be that for long.

Neroh 9th, 2998

He hadn't known her for long, but Mira had become quite the fixture in his life. She even proved to actually be quite the helpful assistant once he gave her the chance. However, what he found most astounding was how eagerly she seemed to soak in knowledge of the arcane. So, today would mark the day he took on his own apprentice; provided she agreed to being his apprentice, that is. 

However, two things happened first; the first being him being interrupted before he could ask by an annoying person by the name of Count Gideon Montgomery Opalcreek. A rather unsavory vampiric noble who frequently demanded his fealty. Frequently, because Hans had no intention of joining the pompous count’s retinue, regardless of what he offered. 

Certainly, Opalcreek had a reputation for being an arcanist and researcher of the infernal–hence the iratan bodyguard he had at his side and his interest in Hans–but he also had a reputation for being an eccentric madman who had likely breached numerous ethical standards in his pursuit of whatever. Hence Hans’s refusal.

“Why must you reject my sincere offers? Haven't I been more than generous?” A pompous, platinum-blonde man dressed in a white, pearl-lined coat and matching pants, along with a fuschia waistcoat and white ascot, Opalcreek spoke with an amused condescension, as though Hans was merely being silly for failing to accept his “generosity”. “Or perhaps there is something you wish for that I haven't offered?” 

“Not at all. I simply do not wish to be in the service of anyone at this point in mine life,” Hans replied with a smile of his own. Polite, though not especially genuine. 

In hindsight, it was easy to see how much his reply angered the noble, and yet, Hans wouldn't realize his mistake until it was too late. 

The count’s white face barely moved, his pale lips still curled in that same, false smile. “You honestly can't expect me to accept an answer like th-”

“Hey! He already told you no, so just fuck off!” Mira snapped, glaring up at the noble in a moment of obvious frustration 

The second thing he failed to expect to happen was Mira so readily leaping to his defense. Opalcreek had been pestering him, certainly, and he did interrupt the special lunch Hans had planned, but still, he didn’t think she would speak up so vehemently. It made him smile in the moment, so he didn’t even think to reprimand her.

“...”

“What? You got noth-” For the rest of his life, Hans would curse himself for not acting sooner. Mira, who had pushed herself to her feet in that moment of fury, fell straight to the ground, clutching the ruin that was once her shoulder as she cried out in pure pain, a heartrending shriek echoing out as Opalcreek tossed away the torn arm he held so casually.

“Now then, with that ann-” To this day, Hans had no idea what Ko did to the bastard, but in the next moment, Opalcreek was gone, and Hans’s arm was settling back into place as he knelt by Mira’s side, whispering assurances and knitting her flesh together with a push of magic. Something to stop the bleeding, though gods knew it would only make things worse later on.

There was another noise, a faint roar of rage as the crimson-armored devil finally spurred into action, and, in an instant–protect–Hans had a pulsing, fiery gem clutched in his hand. 

“Thank you for your contribution, I will make good use of you,” he muttered to it, his mind already racing as he stood with Mira in his arms, hurrying from the restaurant with only the slightest glance toward the coughing, gagging vampire writhing on the ground, trying to pull the shattered remains of restaurant wall from his punctured torso. 

Shame the wood missed his heart. Hans would’ve liked a confirmation on that old legend.

Life had a proclivity for cruel consequences though, and while Hans would have liked to keep Mira safe in a hospital for her recovery, apparently there were consequences to “assaulting a count”. And no, it did not help Hans’s case that the count assaulted his student first. Really, it just showed his “motive” to whatever court decided to put that bounty out on him.

Not that Hans ever bothered to defend himself in a court. He had no expectations of justice there–wealth and nobility tended to get its way, and Opalcreek had scores of both–so staying at a friend’s place sounded like a far better idea. Particularly when that friend was set up in the Swamplands, quite far from any Inrapaban jurisdiction.

Neroh 21st, 2998

“Must you take up an entire desk?” Eliza groused as she walked back into her–well, perhaps “their” would be more appropriate at this juncture?–starry-ceilinged office, “And no, it’s not yours. You didn’t pay for any of this, and you’re mooching off of me.”

Very well, still her office–with, as stated previously, a rather beautiful ceiling that mimicked a starry sky and a number of other such lovely, celestial artworks along its walls–then. “I do recall you owe me far more than I owe you, Lizzy-Ah, no stabbing, Ko might hit back.”

“Would.” Oh, an actual vocalization. That was rare. Ko tended to have Hans speak for her. Or just played music to set the mood instead of speaking. He certainly did enjoy that trait of hers; it added to the atmosphere when he traveled.

“Hmph.” Eliza lowered her foreleg back to the floor. “What are you busy with anyhow?”

“Arm ideas.”

She blinked, then leaned over his shoulder at the rough sketches he’d made. “Hm. Why can’t you simply do the same thing you did with your…’Ko’, but for this Mira girl?”

“Mine trade with Ko was an informed decision I made as an adult. Mira is barely fourteen. I am well aware of her capabilities as an elemental mage. The demonic arts, however, are a field requiring many years of study, and I intend on repairing mine mistake as soon as possible.”

“It wasn’t your mistake. Put the blame where it belongs.”

He gave her a frown. “Where would that be?”

She raised a set of eyebrows in reply. “With the Count you decided to throw through a wall, making both yourself and your little student fugitives.”

“True!” Hans brightened and grinned. “I really should have killed him when I had mine chance!”

“You should have, yes, though I imagine word still would have spread of your transgression.”

“Perhaps, perhaps not, though-” Hans paused and glanced over at the black oak door as someone knocked.

“Well?” Hm? Eliza was staring at him-

“I am sitting. You are standing. You are also closer.”

Eliza frowned, then glanced back at the door with her upper eyes. The lower were reserved for glaring at him, as usual. “It’s open.”

And the door creaked open as Mira peeked in, her eyes still somewhat sunken and the empty left sleeve of her jacket–which she was wearing over a black dress Eliza had bought for her–pinned up against its shoulder. “You two arguing again?”

“What? Of course not. What do you want, child?” Eliza demanded.

“Hello Mira. Do you need anything?” Hans asked.

Mira shrugged–she winced there at the gesture, maybe still some pain… “There’s a lady asking for you, Lady Tealmarn.”

“Ugh, fantastic...what kind of lady? Swampfolk? Anuran? Incubus?”

“Uh, no-Wait, Incubus?”

“A type of Luxurian demon, embodying and characterized by sexual dominance, in contrast to succubi and in comparison to concubi,” Hans elaborated.

“There’s a bloody coven of the harlots living out in the swamps by Smaltrist,” Eliza added, scowling, “Preaching about the inevitable return of their grand ‘Lust Lord’, always knocking on doors and offering pamphlets.” She hissed the word as though it was a grievous insult.

“...Y-Yeah, um...no? It’s a human lady. Sorta pretty? Um, tall, and brown-skinned.”

“Oh, Valondrac then.” Hm? Well that was an unusually positive reaction. Eliza was actually smiling. As for that name…

“Would that be the ‘Arch-Countess’?” Hans asked with a glance towards Eliza. He’d heard rumors, certainly, of a quite ambitious–lord-like–Countess rising up in Blekhon and making a number of moves to expand her influence outward. Alliances, other nobles swearing fealty, activities in Olafiba, Brunzaba, Skiritaba...

“The very same, though the proper title here, as she so uses, is Marquess. One few have used in recent centuries, but a valid one.” Eliza was smirking now; likely enjoying having information that Hans did not. She could be quite amusingly petty at times.

“Huh. Fascinating...And how would you know her?”

“How wouldn’t I? You realize she moves in quite similar circles. More so than the average ‘count’ as well, as she actually deigns to speak to those of a far more productive mindset than those useless old bats hoarding their wealth and scurrying into the dark the second any danger appears.”

...Hans decided he really shouldn’t comment on the nobility of the Dark Lands and their tendency to “scurry” whenever a new Demon Lord declared themself. Particularly since the more arachnoid nobility weren’t exactly ones to fight against rising powers. More likely to join them, really. “So you’ve met her directly?”

“Of course I have, I mentioned her by name and knew precisely what she looked like. Inference is a skill you sorely need to learn, Hans.”

“Ah yes, mine apologies.” He smiled and stood. “Shall we go meet with your new friend then?”

“She’s not a friend, she’s an acquaintance, it takes a great deal more than being a person of interest to me to garner my friendship. Now, come along, old friend.” Hans blinked. Well, that was a very rare display of affection- “That means now.” And she was already leaving, very well then.

So Eliza led Hans and Mira to her parlor, where the most fascinating person Hans had ever met was reclining in one of the large, plush cushions Lizzy had in place of actual furniture. Granted, “actual” furniture was not made for an individual with the lower half of an arachnid, so her choice in furniture was apt for her needs. 

Oh, and there was a second, also rather interesting person there; a blonde, orcish woman, who was outright lying on top of another cushion, her hands folded on her belly as she audibly snored, likely fast asleep and earning a poorly hidden giggle from Mira.

"My apologies for my companion, she insisted on taking full watch last night, and fell asleep as soon as she laid down," the other woman explained. She was dark-skinned, black-haired, and yellow-eyed, clad in black robes lined with red, her hands gloved in matching colors. Furthermore, she appeared...mostly human.  Her ears had points, that much was clear, so perhaps an elvish or cambionic ancestry?

“You need not apologize, Marquess Valondrac. My cushions are indisputably comfortable.” An odd thing to brag about, but Eliza was nothing if not proud of her...accomplishments?

“They really are,” Mira agreed, promptly going to the nearest one and flopping into it, earning a frown from Eliza.

“That was not permission.” Mira didn’t move. After a second, Liza sighed and just sat on a cushion of her own, her legs curling into the plush as she made herself comfortable. “My apologies, Marquess. My friend’s apprentice is young and ridiculous.”

“Hkh yh tuh.”

Valondrac’s lips twitched, then she shrugged, smiling. “It’s no problem. Oh, though, weird thing, apparently it’s supposed to be ‘Marchioness’. Feminine version or something.”

“...What? But Marquess already sounds feminine.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. Jonathan has books about the subject and they don’t explain anything. Apparently an old alternative was marquisess, but everyone agreed that sounded stupid and tried to change it.”

“...” Eliza sighed. “Is this a vampire thing? It’s a vampire thing, isn’t it.”

Valondrac shrugged. “Possibly. The lightlanders supposedly used to have titles like Landgrave and Margrave before transferring to their current Baron-Earl-Duke system, so perhaps we stole it?” Hm. That may be something to research–boring, bad idea–Ah, definitely something to research then–noooo…

“Ugh. So many damn titles. Why not just use Lord, or Lady? Or president.”

“Well they’re not merchant guilds, so-Ah, wait, sorry to interrupt, but I actually do have a point to being here today.”

“Ah, of course you do, no one ever just wants to talk. What is it?”

“It’s not a request for you, Lady Tealmarn, unless you’ve rethought my offer?”

Eliza paused, then sighed and rolled her eyes. It was quite the sight, all of them turning at once. “No. I already did the ‘demon general’ thing once, I’m not interested in trying again.”

“That’s still a shame, but I appreciate your candor.” Then Valondrac turned her gaze towards Hans–Ah, so that’s where this was going. “Professor Samore, it’s nice to meet you.”

He smiled politely, largely because she actually bothered to use his title. “It is nice to meet you too, Marchioness Valondrac. However, I am not interested in becoming your general either.”

She pouted. “You could at least hear out my offer first.”

Hans shrugged, then climbed onto and sat cross-legged on the cushion across from Valondrac. “I could. I doubt you will say anything I have not heard from other aspiring Demon Lords. Your current title is a curiosity though.”

“I have three Ouzan patrons.” What. what.

“...Pardon?”

“If you want, you are in trouble with Count Opalcreek, after all.”

Hans blinked at the non-sequitur. “...I...Mine apologies, but I don’t understand.”

“I have the ability to pardon you, if you so desire. Count Opalcreek, the spineless psychopath, pledged his loyalty to me when I made it clear I wouldn’t be content with the bats scurrying into their hidden caves while I seized power.”

She grinned. “He wronged you and yours. Would you like to be there when I make him pay for it?”

“...” Almost involuntarily, Hans felt his eyes go to Mira, who had turned and was staring at Valondrac now.

“...” Mira glanced at him, a question in her eyes, and Hans...gave her a slight nod. “...You’re that asshole’s boss?”

“I’m his superior, yes. I’m sorry he hurt you.” Valondrac suddenly stood from her cushion, and...and bowed. She bowed to Mira. A noblewoman, higher in rank than a vampiric count, apparently to the point that the undead beings that ruled Inrapaba swore

fealty

to her, who had the audacious claim to have

three

Ouzan patrons, actually was bowing to a thirteen-year-old girl scarcely higher than a commoner. That...didn’t happen. “He will suffer for it. You have my solemn oath on that matter.”

“...A-Ah...th-thanks?” Mira was blushing. That...huh.

“No problem!” And then Valondrac straightened, a grin on her face as she looked to Hans again. “So, my offer is simple. I’m not a Demon Lord yet, but I fully intend to be, as is obvious. To facilitate my actual success instead of going the way of some idiot warlord, I’m going to be conquering the entire Dark Land continent. I would like your help with that, in exchange for pay, legal protections, and access to whatever demonic lore you need for your studies, Professor Samore.”

“...” That...well...what? “...Why?”

It was in her smile, then and there, that Hans found true conviction. “Because I am going to rule the world.”

“...” She’s crazy.

She was. She most certainly was. But...But? There was certainly something about it. Something that made him almost believe her. Dumb. Be skeptic. Think. Right. 

Right, that was necessary. “I admit mine interest, Marchioness. However, could you prove the truth of your claim? A showing that you are, indeed, the power you profess to be?”

“Of course! Ah, Lady Tealmarn, may I use your floor?” 

“No, you may not. We have a room for spellcasting that doesn’t have a nice carpet.”

“Aw, but it will only take a second! Please? Wouldn’t you rather get it out of the way now instead of having to move around?”

“No, of course not, and there is nothing you can say that would convince me.”

And with a two hundred platinum “donation” to the Conservatory, Valondrac proved Eliza a liar. And then she proved Hans a fool because mother of all devils, she summoned the daughter of Rot right into Eliza’s parlor room.

“Hey Labatu! Thanks for coming so quickly!”

“Ah, no worries Claire. And thank you for hosting me, Lady Tealmarn.” The easily 8ft tall demoness bowed politely to Eliza, her white leather-gloved hands placed over the lap of her long, white skirt. She looked a great deal like some type of hunter, with a hooded white coat strapped with bandoliers of knives, similar sheathes at her waist, and a white, long-beaked bird mask covering her face. Her very presence was making Hans feel like he had to cough, and Ko was shrinking back in his mind from the pressure she exuded. That, and the singularly unpleasant reek of burnt wax emanating from her body.

Put simply...it was one of the most impressive displays of strength Hans had ever witnessed. And it made him want to be better, to work again and get closer to attaining that level of absolute power-

“Now, do you have any suggestions for who I should bring in for Marrow and Drought? Do you have any cousins?” Eh?

“Hmm...No, not that I recall, though Mother does tend to keep things from me...I suppose Auberich would be around my level?” ...the Blood King? What?

“Oh, that’ll work! Thanks Labby!” Wait, what, why was their already a runic circle forming, was she actually-

“Ah, Marchioness!” Hans tried to grin as he stepped in front of her, his arms outstretched as though he’d somehow block her from bringing one of the most powerful demons in the 7th Circle into Estus. “Your display was sufficient to convince me! I thank you for such a showing, and would like to request that you do not summon a demon quite literally known as The Painbringer.”

“Oh, alright.” She let her hand drop, then frowned. “Is that really what he’s called? That’s a terrible name.”

“...Well, he brings pain, Marchioness. So I believe most demons consider it apt.”

“Sure, but what does ‘bring pain’ really mean? It’s not a solid thing you can carry. ‘Paincauser’ would be more accurate.”

“...” Hans glanced at Eliza, who just smirked back at him. “...I suppose that is more accurate, yes. Nevertheless.” He placed his mortal hand over his heart, then kneeled to his new liege. “I pledge my loyalty to you, Marchioness Valondrac. You have proven...fascinating, and I endeavor to aid you in your goals.” Then he raised his eyes. “I would ask though, that you do allow me to finish Mira’s apprenticeship first. Mine responsibilities lie with her, foremost.” 

“Certainly. Though I do hope you two come to visit soon.” Her grin widened into something deeply malicious. “I would like you to see when I strip Opalcreek of every title and land he once held.”

“I would enjoy that, mine lady.” And, in a moment of rather ugly satisfaction, Hans was quite certain he meant every word.

And, as for Ko...She felt a strange stirring in her muted mind. Was she...happy? Odd. Very odd.

But as her partner kneeled before his future Empress, a mouth formed and spread into a wide, giddy smile beneath the eye on his shoulder. “Make it painful.”

And the empress answered her too as the onlookers gawked and her partner chuckled. “Of course I will.”

Heh. What a lovely world to live in~.

[raybansandcoffee]

Adventure of a Lifetime - Chapter Six

Since it’s Fan Fic Writer’s Appreciation Day I am going to give some love to my readers. So here we go - Chapter Six of Adventure of a Lifetime! You can find the rest of this story HERE. I hope you enjoy it!

**********

We spent a few more hours in the pool, eventually waking Axel up from his nap and bringing the little guy in the water with us. It was a truly awesome way to kick off summer. I loved getting to see the kids laugh and smile. It also felt like a giant weight had been lifted off of my chest that I had someone here to talk to about the fucked up year I’ve experienced. Sure, I could call home and talk to Alex or Frankie. I could only sort of talk to Savy and with Tony moving out here I’d maybe have someone to lean on when things got hard for me. But having someone who even had a slight understanding of what I might be going through as a single parent was a relief.

“We are going to get cleaned up and then we’ll be over at your place in an hour,” Jeremy said as he was helping me get the kids buckled into their seats. “Do you need me to bring anything over?”

“No, your help is seriously more than enough. We will see you in a little bit.” I hopped into the car and started to drive down the drive towards the gate. “Did you have fun today Elle?”

“I did. I had a lot of fun! Jeremy is really nice and I’m glad Papa FaceTimed us too. I miss Papa.”

“I miss Papa too, babe.” My phone started to ring through the car. It seemed like nearly every time I had the kids in the car, just as Axel was about to fall asleep the phone would ring. I saw that it was my brother on the screen in the dashboard.

“Hello,” I answered. “Charlie’s Carpool Service.”

“Hey sis,” Tony said.

“Uncle Tony!” Ellie yelled from the backseat.

“Ellery Marie, how is the first day of summer?”

“Awesome. I went swimming with Ava and her Dad Jeremy and Mom and Axel. Mom says you’re on your way to see me,” Ellie yelled from the backseat.

“I am E-Money. I am getting closer. Sis, you were so right. This is a beautiful drive. The mountains are gorgeous. If I wasn’t in a hurry to get to your place I’d totally stop.”

“Right? I keep telling myself that someday I’m going to drive through and actually stop and enjoy it. But I don’t. I should though. I think once the kids are older it will be easier.”

“I am so anxious to get there. I’m driving faster than I should but you know how well I sit still,” Tony said causing me to laugh.

“You don’t. Road trips with you when you were younger were a nightmare.”

“It’s not much easier now. Especially considering I’ve had 3 Red Bulls already.” I groaned.

“Anth, I have to be able to sleep tonight. I can’t stay up all night with you. I do have two kids to take care of. So you and your over-caffeinated self are on your own for an all-nighter.”

“I won’t make you pull an all-nighter tonight. But I am going to need some help getting stuff unpacked and moved around.”

“I know. We will have help too. Ava and her Dad are going to be there for dinner tonight and Jeremy offered to help us get everything moved around for you. You might want to take stuff from some of the other rooms in the house to make your room feel right.”

“True. So who is Jeremy? Someone I need to know about?”

“He’s Ava’s Dad. Ava is Ellie’s best friend from school. He’s a really nice guy.”

“Like are you dating him?” Tony asked.

“That’s the best joke I’ve ever heard. I don’t have time to date. Also, I just met him yesterday. Like I used to have decent luck with guys but not good enough luck that I could get a guy at school pick-up. He heard me on the phone with you and Dad today. He offered to help since I’m going to need to do some cleaning in the apartment. I don’t think it’s been used for a while.”

“As a single man, all I have to say is if I were to offer my assistance in cleaning an apartment and moving a woman’s brother into it I would only do it if I were interested in her. Well, or if she was super hot and I thought I might get laid. Speaking as your brother you’re super cool and from what I’ve heard from my friends my entire life, I have hot sisters. I personally find that absolutely disgusting to hear but it’s been said to me so I will repeat it to you to provide an ego boost before I arrive and take over a portion of your house.”

“It’s nothing. The babies are the priority. My non-existent love life is not. I’m home now. I need to get both of the kids rinsed off because we were in chlorine all day. Admittedly, I am so lucky that these kids aren’t biologically mine or I’d have two kids with green hair like Frankie and I had growing up.” We both had bright blonde hair as kids and spent enough time in the pool that by mid-summer we both had a greenish tint to our hair. It drove our mother crazy. She tried everything she could to get the tint out short of having her small children’s hair bleached before we went back to school.

“I’ll be there in a few more hours. I can’t wait to see you, Sis.”

“I can’t wait to see you either, Anth.”

“Bye Nugget,” he called to his niece who I caught smile through the rearview mirror in the backseat.

“Bye Meatball,” she replied before I heard him laugh and the call disconnected. I did my best to get both kids out and everything into the house in one trip. I found Savannah laying on the couch.

“Hey Sav. Did you have a good night off? Well, I guess night and half-day?” I asked.

“I did. Theo took me to dinner last night, we met up with some friends, and then went back to his place. He had to work at noon so I must’ve just missed you guys as you left.”

“Probably. How are things with Theo?” I asked.

“Okay,” she mumbled. “Last night was weird. Normally when I stay over he is happy about it, last night he just sort of acted annoyed by it. I need to go hose these two kids down since they spent the entire day in chlorine.”

“I’ll come help. You can fill me in on the playdate with Ava’s hot, single, superhero Dad.”

“I mean Hawkeye is a superhero but he has no superpowers, just an insane skillset.”

“God you are such a nerd,” she said through laughter. It was the same laugh her mother had and often used when I did something ridiculous.”

“It’s true though. But the day was nice. He’s an incredible guy, great dad, and obviously super fucking hot.” I whispered the last part hoping that Ellery didn’t hear it because lately, she’d been a parrot to everything I said. “I haven’t said anything to your mother about who he is. You know how she is. She’d immediately assume that because he’s an actor…”

“He’s an ass, I know. I didn’t tell her after Ava’s birthday party.” Savannah’s Dad was an aspiring actor when he met Alex and had managed to have a pretty steady career over the last two decades. Despite having always been a decent Dad there was a huge part of Alex that would never get over parts of who he was so every actor to her was an asshole.

“You didn’t even tell me, which is baffling. You live in my home and somehow forgot to tell me that my kid’s best friend’s Dad is Jeremy fucking Renner. I should fire you and kick you out.”

“First of all, this is way more entertaining. Second, you would be screwed without me.”

“Don’t be so sure. Tony is on his way here right now. So I need to go clean these monsters up quickly so I can go get the apartment ready so that my baby brother can move in.”

“Tony is moving in with us?! You forgot to mention that to me.”

“This is way more entertaining.” She flipped me off. Alex’s warning earlier wasn’t unwarranted. Savannah had an obvious crush on my little brother. She’d traveled with me to his graduation. I watched how she acted around him. The same way she had since she was about 12 and realized that he was cute. She’s also not good at hiding anything from me.

“I hate you but I’ll help you clean the kids up so that you can also shower.”

“You are forgiven.” Savannah took Ellie’s hand in hers and I followed them upstairs as I carried Axel. I could tell that he was tired from the pool today, despite his nap. We got both of the kids in the bathtub and cleaned up. I got Axel cleaned up and put into some clothes so he could take a short nap while I showered. Once he was in his crib I snuck into my bedroom to shower. I put on music that I could listen to in an attempt to calm down from the emotions of today and prepare myself for tonight.

I stood beneath the water as it cascaded over me and took a deep breath before the deep sigh came out, followed rapidly by the tears. They came faster accompanied by the sound of me struggling to breathe. I leaned back against the cold tile wall as the water mixed with my tears. I was hoping I’d left the music up loud enough that if anyone walked into my bedroom that they would only hear the music and not my sobbing. It wasn’t the normal crying I experienced. The crying from loneliness at night because I’d gone from sharing my bed with a man I loved to him walking away because he couldn’t handle the new life I’d been given. The crying that came when I sat at a piano trying to write the score to a scene, missing the suggestions and smart-assed remarks that came from my partner as I worked through a difficult part. The crying that came when I had a great day that I wanted to celebrate and knew the only way I could do it was via FaceTime or a phone call with my sister or my best friend. The crying because I missed another family dinner or my nieces’ dance recital, or another baseball game for my nephew. This crying was different. It was almost as if the tears were a sense of relief because I’d finally had the chance to grieve aloud with someone.

I hadn’t opened up about Sam and Michael to anyone new, until today. I’ve lived here for nearly 11 months and had been unable to make any friends because I couldn’t be open with them. I struggled in every single setting I’d found. I couldn’t relate to the stories of pregnancy and childbirth. The few people I’d met without kids I couldn’t relate to because I did have to go home to take care of the two I was raising. Jeremy was the first person in my new life that I’d been able to open up to. We’d only met yesterday but he was willing to listen and show that he cared. I wasn’t sure how I’d gotten lucky enough to finally meet someone who attempted to understand what happened. Someone who actually asked about their Dad. I’d always felt the judgment from the Mommy Groups. I had no wedding ring on my hand. There was never a mention of a father. I saw the way they looked at me, like the irresponsible person who got pregnant without a plan or a partner. At first, I was sad. Then I got angry. I felt they didn’t deserve the actual story of those two incredible babies I was given. They didn’t deserve to learn the tragedy we’d experienced and that I didn’t want to see the looks change from judgment to pity.

I finally stopped the crying enough to finish my shower. There was no point in trying to make my hair look great, it would inevitably end up in a messy bun while I helped Tony unpack. I did put on a little bit of makeup. The lack of sleep I’d been getting this week and the crying in the shower had my under-eyes dark and puffy. I took a deep breath as I looked in the mirror. I needed to get myself out of this funk and get ready. It wouldn’t be long before the house would be buzzing with energy and people. I needed to be prepared to have all of this enter my space.

I went into the closet and quickly threw on some clothes. I found a pair of cut-off denim shorts that were far too short but I didn’t care. I looked in the mirror after throwing on a bra and t-shirt. The clothes fit me differently than they had a year ago. As much as I’d believed that eating like a child for a year had changed my body, that hadn’t been it. It was grief and depression. It was the occasional drink I had at night to help me wind down and eventually find a few hours of sleep. It was the lack of sleep I’d had for the last year. My life had changed, it was the only reasonable excuse for my body to have changed. The shorts hung on me differently than they had last year. They were tighter in some places, looser in others. The t-shirt hung past my shorts so I tied a small knot in it, I didn’t want to look like I was running around the house without pants on. I heard my text alert go off on my phone from the bathroom.

We are on the way. Do you need us to pick anything up?

We are okay. We will just order pizza when it gets closer to dinner.   The gate code is 5309#.

Why leave off the 867?

The fact that you guessed where that came from cracks me up. It’s 100% Michael’s doing. Okay, I may have been an accomplice on it. Sam was so pissed at us.

We will see you in a little bit then.

I walked across the hall to get Axel out of his crib. He didn’t look like he’d actually taken a nap but hopefully, the time he spent in his crib made him a little bit rested. He was usually a pain to deal with if we did a lot during the day and he didn’t get enough of a nap. He was hitting growing spurts, he was experiencing a lot of firsts, and that took a lot more energy than before had. I bounced him on my hip to hear him giggle as we headed down to the living room.

“Jeremy and Ava are on their way. We are gonna do some work in the apartment so it’s ready for Tony when he gets here. Do you want me to take Axel with us? I can take a pack and play out there so he can hang with us.”

“Whatever you want to do,” Savannah replied. “I’m fine watching all three of them. But if you want him with you out there that’s fine too.”

“I think I’ll take him out there.” I handed Axel to Savannah before I went downstairs to my studio, grabbed the pack and play I kept in there and took it, along with some cleaning supplies, out to the apartment and set it back up. I opened up some of the windows in the apartment to air it out. It had been closed up for months.

I loved the apartment. It was so bright. There were so many windows that the natural light at times was almost blinding. The ceilings were made of beautiful wood beams. The living room had a great fireplace. It had a fantastic kitchen. There was a clawfoot bathtub that I’d taken more than one bath in over the years. The view out the bedroom was into the forest our compound was essentially plopped into. There was a little basketball court beside it, which my brother would love. It was nicer than the apartments any of my friends had lived in at Tony’s age. The furniture in here was perfect and picked to my style which was all Sam’s doing. They had really decorated this to be my Peter Pan house in the trees and here I was handing it over to my baby brother so he could spend some more time being one of the lost boys. I saw Jeremy’s truck pull up the driveway so I headed out of the apartment.

“Your land is gorgeous,” he said as he climbed down out of his truck. He opened the back door and Ava jumped out.

“Thanks,” I replied.

“How much do you have?”

“I think just shy of 8 acres, like 7.75. Michael wanted all of the land, Sam wanted close to the water. He won because she fell in love with this place.” Ava was walking ahead of us up the stairs towards the front door. I leaned over her to open the door and let them in. Ava hurried over to where Savannah, Ellery, and Axel were playing on the floor. “Want a tour?”

“Sure.” I took him through the first floor which was all living space before we headed upstairs. It was all bedrooms and bathrooms. It wasn’t perfect or clean, it was lived in. It was the home of a single parent, her two kids under 5 and their nanny. “The view from up here is gorgeous,” he said as he leaned down on the railing that ran along the deck that was on the upper level of the house.

“It is. The view and the house was what got Sam to agree to not be by the water. She walked out to exactly where you are standing and turned to look at me, because of course she’d drug me to house shop with them, and she said ‘how the fuck do I agree on this house instead of the water without letting him win?’ I died laughing. She didn’t like losing to Michael and she’d lost on the house in LA and the house here because Michael knew her better than she did.”

“That’s funny. They sound like great people.”

“The fucking best.”

“The only room in the house that looks like it’s been even remotely remodeled is yours. It’s the only one that doesn’t fit the style of the rest of the place.”

“The basement has had some major changes. But yes, of the bedrooms only mine. The first month we lived here I couldn’t sleep in here. I was sleeping on a couch or on the floor in Axel’s room. It was their bedroom it was too much for me to handle. So finally on her second visit, my sister drug me out shopping. New everything so that it was my bedroom, not theirs. The first night I slept in there was the first night I’d slept in almost two months. My sister stole the baby monitor that was in my room and she handled the kids. I slept for 16 straight hours.”

“You were physically and emotionally exhausted. You are definitely lucky to have your sister, though she seems like she’s a force to be reckoned with.”

“Oh, she definitely is.” I took him back through the house and to the basement. There was a pool table, bar, wine cellar, theater room, and my sanctuary. “This is my studio. My happy place.”

“It’s fucking amazing. You put a lot of work into this.”

“I did. I moved the stuff we had in LA out here. I had some renovations done to make more space in here. I made it the most perfect space to work.”

“You have three pianos in this house, two of which are baby grand. That’s just crazy.”

“I know. I feel spoiled because of it. This is the baby grand from our studio in LA. The goal when I redid this place was that it would fit. Every song we wrote together we essentially wrote on that piano. The piano upstairs is the one from their house in Los Angeles.”

“And that one?” he asked gesturing to the wooden upright that sat just outside of the studio in the bar area of the basement. It was beautiful but had clearly seen better days.

“That is the piano I grew up playing. It was in my Dad’s house when he grew up so my grandparents had it moved to our house when I was three because I loved playing with it at their house and neither of them played anymore. My Dad still remembered bits and pieces from when he was a kid. So he’d teach me what he could remember. At four I started trying to take lessons by six the lessons were twice a week that my piano teacher came to my house.”

“So that’s the family piano. I love that you moved it out here.”

“I couldn’t leave it in LA. It holds so much history. My grandpa bought it for my grandma as a wedding gift. By the time I was born she’d developed arthritis and couldn’t play anymore. My Dad still has a baby grand at his house because it fit the style of the house much better. That one lived in the basement bar room so it is pretty happy living here now. It always got played during parties at my Dad’s and hopefully, someday that happens here too.”

“That’s some awesome family tradition.”

“I like to think so.” I watched as he sat down at the baby grand in my studio and started to play. It was rare that people who sat down at one of my pianos actually knew how to play. Growing up it was friends thinking playing chopsticks was funny every time they were at my house. In my condo it was usually drunk people thinking they were writing a song. But here was one of the rare occasions where someone sat down and their fingers easily moved across the keys and beautiful music appeared. I sat down beside him on the bench and started to play with him. Adding higher notes to what he was playing that somehow mixed into his song beautifully. I looked over at him as he smiled and nudged me with his shoulder. Having musical chemistry with someone was a rare thing to find. The ability to just sit and make music together without any preconceived plans or music. In my lifetime I’d only ever found it with my brother and Sam, until this moment. “You are pretty damn talented, Jeremy.”

“You’re not too bad yourself. Okay, while I’d love to get lost in all of the instruments in here and play for hours we have to get an apartment ready for your brother,” Jeremy said as the sound of the music stopped.

“We do. He’s really good at ruining all of the fun.” We both stood up and headed upstairs to grab Axel and head out to the apartment. I had Axel expertly balanced on my hip as I opened the door and headed up to where my brother would be living. “Are you excited to get it ready for Uncle Ant to live out here, Axe-man?” He giggled a response at me.

“Do the kids like your brother?” Jeremy asked.

“They love him,” I replied. “He and Ellery have been close her whole life. If he was home for long he’d end up at the studio a lot with Sam and I. He is going to make a great Dad someday because he did everything he could to help us. He fed her, changed diapers, everything. And since I’ve had this little guy since he was three weeks old Axel won’t know life without Tony being Uncle Ant.” Axel started to squirm in my arms so I put him down in the pack and play.

“Your brother is super lucky.”

“Why is that?”

“This apartment is gorgeous. The view from here is almost as good as it is in the master. There’s so much natural light. It’s just absolutely beautiful.”

“That it is. I do love it out here.”

“I can see why,” he said as he walked over to one of the floor-to-ceiling windows to look outside. “If someone had given me this place at 22 for free I’d have thought I was the luckiest guy alive.”

“If I’d been given it at 22 for free I would’ve felt that way too.”

“Even the furniture out here is amazing. You are right, it’s a much different style than the main house but is almost identical to the master. They clearly decorated it for you.”

“That they did,” I replied. “Eventually I’ll try to make the whole house more my style but for now it’s not worth the money to completely re-furnish the house. I spent the money on my spaces. Anything for the kids I’ve left the same. I did allow Savy to make whatever changes she wanted to her space too. It’s just super fucking tough to not know what is going to cause some major upheaval with the kids or anyone else.”

“It is a tough thing to navigate but you appear to be doing a great job. I tried not to change too much right away on Ava. I didn’t want the house to suddenly feel different beyond her Mom not being there. Over time she’s adjusted as well as can be expected. It’s tough to go back and forth between parents and cities.”

“Do you and your ex get along? I mean you don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to.”

“I feel like since you divulged the dead best friends’ kids info that I can share too. We don’t, not in the least bit. She’s been difficult to deal with and that’s putting it nicely. It gets easier the more removed we are from our divorce that we are. I hope that continues to be true because I feel like the older Ava gets the harder it’s going to be. Divorce is easy on no one.”

“I can confirm that. My parents’ divorce was a nightmare. Ava is maybe lucky that she was young enough that she won’t remember it. I remember my parents dealing with theirs. The arguing. The lawyers. The custody agreements. The uncomfortable kid swaps. And then out of nowhere my Mom got a new job and moved to a new country leaving us with my Dad permanently. Which seems super tragic because it’s these two teen girls growing up without their mother, but it was the best thing that could’ve happened to us.”

“It’s great that you feel that way now. Does your sister?”

“100%. One of the many reasons she was upset that I didn’t opt to buy the house down the canal from her was because it meant there was one more person to occupy our mother on her occasional trips back to California. I am usually very ‘go with the flow’ so I can handle her pretty easily. I mean she gives me more anxiety than just about anything outside of motherhood, but I’ve always been the one more capable of dealing with her. My sister gets so stressed out that she breaks out into hives. We both have some pretty serious anxiety issues and my Mom is a giant trigger to both of us. She is hard to describe.” I laughed a little because honestly, I wasn’t even sure where to start when it came to explaining my Mom. “She doesn’t understand boundaries, she is flighty, and just does whatever feels great to her. She’s never been able to put what someone else might need in front of what she wants. I almost envy that drive and ambition. There is literally nothing that will hold her back from doing what she wants. There was one night sitting that it was just Mom, Frankie and I sitting and talking, perhaps drinking too much wine, that my Mom admitted that she never wanted kids.”

“That had to be hard to hear.”

“Honestly, it was a relief. It wasn’t that Frankie and I sucked, she loved us and said she didn’t regret having kids but that she never really wanted them. My Dad did and she fell for him. She thought that if she was supposed to have kids it would happen and it happened…quickly. And then she thought what would it hurt to have a second because at least we could entertain each other. It did not turn out at all how she’d imagined and so she had two girls who were happy to move in full-time with their Dad when a new job came calling.”

“Parents can be interesting. It’s also crazy the way everything you thought as a kid flips as soon as you have kids. Like I could never understand why my parents wouldn’t let me do certain things as a kid and now the idea of Ava doing some of them is just flat out fucking terrifying.”

“Just wait. Those girls are cute now, they will grow to be teenagers before we know it. I’m terrified of raising teenagers. Teenage girls come with hormones, hatred for their mothers and teenage boys. Teenage boys will be the death of me.”

“I’ve had some tactical weapon training in my life. I’ll make sure we get some for you before the girls get that old and we can tag-team them.” I started to laugh probably too hard at that.

“I was a teenage girl once. I mean by the time they are teenagers they will have way more technology than I ever had but I will be able to figure out when they are lying to us. I mean I may have been a music nerd but that meant I hung out with musicians. There is nothing worse than a teenage boy in a band.”

“Hey! I was once a teenage boy in a band.”

“And I bet all of the girls loved you and that you broke all of their hearts.”

“Possibly.”

“Possibly my ass. I can see it in your eyes. You have the kind of eyes that can easily make a woman turn into mush and do whatever you ask them to.”

“Oh, I do?”

“Yes, you do,” I said firmly. He did. I was fairly certain that if he asked me to do anything at this moment I’d do it. With the only possible exception being abandoning my children. “I know eyes like that. They talked me into a lot of stupid shit in high school and even worse shit in college.” Jeremy started to laugh really loudly.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” I looked over at him. I could sense already that he was mischievous, had a great sense of humor, he was obviously insanely handsome and was going to cause a shift in my life.

“Ugh, you’re gonna be the death of me. I can feel it already.” His laughter grew louder before I threw a dust rag at him. “Get to work, Renner.”

**********

First of all, THANK YOU for reading this or anything else I’ve ever written. I appreciate it and the feedback I get. I love writing. In fact, today in therapy my therapist asked me if there were no limits to what I could do and I could pick one thing to do as a career what it would be I said I’d be a writer. I mean if I could go back and redo my life I’d probably be in politics somehow. But ultimately, writing is my one true love. So thank you, from the bottom of my little black, jaded heart the most sincere thank you for supporting me.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I wanted there to be some one-on-one time with Jeremy and Charlie. Their banter makes me happy. The way he allowed her to talk so freely about the trauma in her life shows how caring of a person he is. I’m excited to continue to develop their friendship and see where it develops. I’m also super excited to get Tony to Tahoe! Charlie is obviously very close with her family and having her little brother with her will help her to develop the sense of calm she needs in her life. I think Jeremy will bring that to her too. And if nothing else, he’ll probably bring her a few laughs. 

I can’t wait to hear what you thought. Feel free to message me, comment, or whatever. Your feedback means so much to me. The only way for me to improve as a writer is through your feedback. Love what I’m doing? Awesome! It’s such a pick-me-up for a writer to hear someone loves their work. Trust me, with the stuff that goes on in my daily life those little nuggets of happiness mean everything. Hate the direction I took something? Confused by the wording I used? I want to hear that too. The only way to improve is to learn from my mistakes and move on from there. 

Again, thank you. You’re amazing.

xx. AM

[theycallmebeccawrites]

Chris & Ellie’s Road Trip: Part 1

With Tumblr holding my original writing blog @beccaheartschrisevans captive (aka flagged as explicit), I have made a secondary writing blog and may end up closing the other all together. In the meantime, I am reposting all of my stories on my new blog.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Ellie Spencer-Evans (OFC)

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: language, graphic sex

Story Summary: Chris Evans and his wife, Ellie Spencer-Evans, drive from Los Angeles, California to their rental house near Atlanta, GA in April 2017. A good portion of the trip takes place on Route 66.

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

This story can also be read on AO3 and Wattpad.

The Chris & Ellie Bonus Stories Masterlist | Chris & Ellie Masterlist

Chris & Ellie's Road Trip: Part 1

April 18, 2017

With Daisy and Dodger following, Chris Evans made his way up to the bedroom he shared with his wife of two months. Knowing he'd find her in their walk-in closet, he made his way over, but stopped in the doorway when he found her sitting against the drawers looking at her phone. She was supposed to be packing, but the two hanging clothes boxes and the other boxes they'd brought up earlier were all empty.

"Need some help?" he asked, leaning against the door frame. He was slightly annoyed by the fact that she'd been up here for two hours and hadn't gotten anything done, but shook that off since they'd spent the last couple days packing up everything they wanted to take with them to Georgia for the next several months.

"I don't know what to pack," she confessed, looking up at him. "And my sisters and friends have been absolutely no help. Neither has your brother."

Chris pushed himself off the doorframe and joined her on the floor. "You had no problem packing your craft and work stuff," he commented. "What's different about the clothes?"

"I'm sort of married to someone super famous," she replied, holding up her left hand and showing off the diamond engagement ring and matching wedding ring. "I can't exactly go to the grocery store in ratty clothes anymore. Not to mention it's fucking hot in the south during the summer." She sighed. "And then there are the dresses. I mean am I going to need a cocktail or more formal dress? Do I need to pack one or five just in case?"

"I happen to like you in ratty clothes," Chris said, bumping her knee with his own. "And we aren't really in a bubble in Atlanta like we are here. Sure, there are people hanging out around the set and stuff, but for the most part, they don't follow us anywhere. As for the dresses, you probably won't need anything super fancy, but maybe a dress or two? I mean, it's not like you can't go to the mall or something if you need a dress."

"You make it seem so easy," she replied, laying her head on his shoulder. "I don't know how you do this all the time."

"Well, I do cheat a little when I'm doing press stuff." He chuckled. "But the studio prefers what the stylist puts together for me." He wrapped his arm around her. "Would you like me to help you pack? Even if it's just to stop you from packing all of your Oregon Duck shirts?"

"Oh, they're are all coming," Ellie stated, elbowing him softly as she sat up. "Don't pretend that you didn't pack all of your Patriots stuff."

"I noticed all the Oregon and Seahawk stuff is packed up downstairs, too," he noted. "But I guess it wouldn't be our home without our favorites with us."

"Exactly," Ellie replied as her eyes shifted to the empty boxes. She sighed. "Guess it's time to get this part done. Help me up."

Chris shook his head, but got up. He then held out his hands and helped haul Ellie to her feet.

"Thanks," she said. Turning to look at the boxes, she frowned. "I hate moving. Let's never move."

"We'll have to move eventually," he stated as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. "You know my feelings about raising kids in LA…"

"I know." She patted his forearm. "But I might just sell everything and buy everything new."

"That might work for your craft stuff, but you hate shopping for clothes," he reminded her with a chuckle.

"Oh, right," she sighed. Looking at the boxes again, she added, "Maybe I should pack my stuff for our trip, too. Then I don't have to worry about that either."

"That would be a good idea," Chris agreed. "Seeing as we leave tomorrow night."

With Chris due to start filming for Marvel in Atlanta in two weeks, he and Ellie had decided to drive to Georgia in her Honda CR-V with the dogs instead of flying. Rather than driving the interstate and getting to Georgia in a couple days, they had decided to make a week of it and drive as much of Route 66 between Santa Monica, California and Oklahoma City, Oklahoma as they could. They'd spent the last couple weeks consulting websites, maps and books to determine where they'd be able to travel on the old mother road and where they'd have to drive on Interstate 40. Once they left Oklahoma City, they would use the interstate highway system to get to their rental house outside of Atlanta.

Before they could leave, however, they had to finish packing up what they wanted to have in Georgia and get those items ready to be shipped by the studio to their rental house. Since they would already be on the road when the truck came, Chris's brother, Scott, would make sure everything they packed ended up on the truck.

It took Chris and Ellie the better part of an hour to select and pack what she'd need in Georgia. There were some drawers (socks, underwear, bras, etc.) that they just dumped into boxes and she fished out a few items for her suitcase. For the rest of her clothes, they were selective in what they packed. Nearly all of her t-shirts, jeans and shorts were packed, but they didn't pack any of her formal dresses and only a couple cocktail dresses. She included a few casual dresses and skirts and Chris added a couple more with a playful gleam in his eye.

That playful gleam lead to a make out session that was interrupted by Scott yelling into their bedroom and asking if they wanted to get pizza before the Red Sox game started. They both answered yes and straightened their clothes before returning to what they'd been doing before their unscheduled break. They added a couple more things to the boxes before they sealed them closed. Then they hauled them downstairs to the garage where they'd set up a loading zone for the stuff that was going with them to Georgia.

By the time they were finished, the pizza had arrived and the Red Sox game was underway. They joined Scott in the basement to watch the game while they ate pizza and drank beer. They were all happy to see that the Red Sox had gotten past the flu and other viruses that had ravaged the clubhouse for the first couple weeks of the season.

The mood on the couch was a little bittersweet as Chris and Ellie prepared to leave while Scott stayed behind. He'd moved into the guesthouse when Ellie had moved out a couple years earlier and had stayed when she'd moved back in with Chris. Since then, other than holidays, vacations and other random times, at least two of them at been at the house at any given time and now it would just be Scott.

Less than twenty-four hours later, Chris and Ellie loaded the dogs into the back seat of the CR-V and harnessed them in to keep them safe. Their suitcases and the few other items they were taking with them on the drive were loaded into the trunk along with the dogs' crates. Ellie gave her brother-in-law a hug and a kiss on the cheek before stepping aside so Chris could say goodbye to his brother with a hug of his own. Then they got into the car and began their journey.

The first stop on their trip was the Santa Monica Pier, which was technically the official end of Route 66, but it was where their journey on Route 66 would begin. They'd purposely started their drive in the early afternoon as they planned to spend the night at the Wigwam Motel in San Bernardino.

Traffic on the way to Santa Monica was as heavy as usual, but they passed the time listening to music. They had perfected their music playlists by combining their music collections and putting it on shuffle. Just like on their drive to Oregon earlier in the year, the driver had the power of veto. Meaning that when a song the driver hated came on, they could choose for it to be skipped. Since they both had similar tastes in a wide range of music, the veto wasn't used very often and was typically reserved for a song that really grated on the other person's nerves.

When they arrived at the pier, it took them awhile to find a parking spot, but Chris finally found one a couple blocks away. Ellie snickered as Chris put on his NASA hat to go along with his sunglasses and smiled when he lowered the glasses to give her a raised eyebrow. Leaning over, she gave his lips a peck before going back to her side to grab her own hat, a Boston Red Sox one.

Getting out of the car, they put the dogs on their leashes and then walked down to the pier. They found the "End of the Trail" sign and Ellie stopped a pier employee to ask if they would take a picture of them. They posed for the photo and thanked the employee before making their way back to the car.

"Atlanta, here we come," Ellie said as Chris pulled out of the parking spot.

For the first hour or so, Dodger sat in his seat with his nose pressed to the window watching as the world flew by. Eventually, though, he settled himself down and fell asleep like his sister, Daisy. The dogs were already pros at road trips since they had traveled with Chris and Ellie to and from Oregon for the wedding.

The first part of Route 66 took them through the heart of Hollywood and the major sights until they reached Pasadena. From there, the road passed residential areas and economic districts. The drive was slow going thanks to traffic and the fact that the speed limit was much lower than the highway that had replaced Route 66.

While Chris drove, Ellie called their parents and talked to them on speaker phone. They had told their family of their travel plans, but their mothers, especially, had insisted on getting phone calls from them on a daily basis. Both moms had also insisted on having a copy of their driving itinerary that included where they planned to stay the night and all their major stops. While Chris and Ellie had understood the reasoning behind the requests, it had made them roll their eyes and laugh.

It took them over four hours to reach their stop of the night, the Wigwam Motel in San Bernardino. While Ellie went in to check them in for the night, Chris got the dogs out of the car and took them for a short walk to do their business and stretch their legs. Returning to the hotel's property, he led the dogs over to the cement teepee that their car was parked next to.

After bringing everything that needed to go into the teepee in, they put the dogs back on their leashes and then explored the area around the motel, going into the 'Route 66' shops that would allow the dogs inside. They finished their exploration by picking up dinner to go and returning to their teepee a little after eight that evening.

"I feel like I'm in the Cozy Cone," Chris said referring to the name of the hotel in the Disney movie Cars. He and Ellie sat on the couch in their teepee eating their dinner while the dogs were curled up on the large dog bed that they'd brought with them.

"Exactly," Ellie replied. There was nothing fancy about the motel, but that was part of the charm and experience.

It had been Ellie's idea to travel Route 66 and she had sold Chris on the idea after they'd watched the Disney movie Cars. She'd shown him photos of places that had inspired the locations in the movies and, by the time she had finished, he'd been on board with the trip and as into finding the best routes as she had been.

Knowing they had a full day ahead of them, they finished eating and then each took a turn in the tiny shower. Then they put the dogs in their kennels before climbing into the bed a little after ten.

Day One - California to Arizona

April 20, 2017

The first official day of their trip started at six am with a quick walk with the dogs around the motel. Back in the teepee, they fed the dogs while they got dressed for the day, as they'd walked the dogs in sweats and sweatshirts. Once they were ready, Chris loaded the CR-V while Ellie checked them out.

They had breakfast at a diner with outdoor seating and then got on the road headed for Victorville, California where the California Route 66 Museum was located. With Chris behind the wheel, they drove as far as they could on the old road until they had to turn onto the modern highway system. They had agreed early in the planning stages that they would only stay on paved roads and not go exploring the non-paved parts of Route 66.

To pass the time, they listened to music, but after awhile, Ellie found some online Cosmos quizzes and began to ask Chris questions. Most of the quizzes were pretty dumb and made them both giggle. However, they did determine that he was most like Aladdin for the 'Which Disney Prince Is Your Boyfriend Most Like?' quiz. And, according to the 'How Old Is Your Boyfriend, Really?', they found that he was more or less an adult. The last quiz they did was 'Would You Make Good Parents Together?' and they were both relieved when they got the 'Definitely' answer.

With the zig zagging that was required, it took nearly two hours for them to get to the museum. They had made arrangements with the museum to arrive two hours before opening so they could look around without the added pressure of people recognizing Chris. Two staff members volunteered to look after the dogs while the museum curator led them through the exhibits. When they left the museum, Chris slipped five $100 bills into their donation box while Ellie collected the dogs.

After a quick trip to a nearby park for the dogs to run around and eat, they stopped at a gas station to fill up the gas tank as well as filled up two 5-gallon gas cans for an emergency backup. They also topped off the ice in the cooler and then continued their drive east.

The stretch of Route 66 between Victorville and Needles was called the National Trails Highway and it wound through areas that were nothing but desert and others that were small communities. Along the way, they stopped to check out Elmer's Bottle Tree Ranch, which was a forest made of metal pipes with antique bottles on them.

Once they were back on the road, Ellie got an alert on her phone and smiled when she saw that it was a reminder for Chris's appearance on 'The Talk'. Glancing at him, she saw that he was in the zone driving and singing along to the Guns 'n Roses song that was playing. Leaning down, she grabbed her headphones out of her purse and put them in her ears before she turned her attention to her phone and opened the app for their TV provider.

The first twenty minutes of the show were pretty boring until Chris and his friend and costar Octavia Spencer were introduced. Ellie started giggling as the Super Bowl was brought up and glanced at Chris when he poked her in the leg.

"What are you watching?" he asked.

"You on The Talk," Ellie replied with a laugh after removing one earbud from her ear. "You can be such a little shit sometimes."

"That was a fun interview," he said with a smile as he looked back at the road. "And don't pretend you wouldn't be the same way if the Ducks or the Seahawks had come back from a deficit like that to win."

"Oh, I so would be," Ellie agreed. "You're just lucky I love you and your obsession with Tom Brady and the Patriots." She smirked. "Of course, I have the satisfaction of knowing that the Seahawks did beat the Patriots last season. And since our teams aren't playing in 2017, I have bragging rights until they play again."

"Brag all you want about that little win," Chris said, rolling his eyes. "It pales in comparison to the fact that the Patriots fucking won it all. The trophy is in Boston and Tom Brady's throwing hand has a ring for each finger."

"That's going to make it hard to throw the football if you ask me," Ellie stated. "But I hope I'm not alone in thinking that the best ring ceremony that will happen this year took place on our wedding day."

"Best ring ceremony of my life," Chris confirmed, glancing at her with a big smile.

Ellie made an 'mmm hmm' sound and finished watching the interview. She was smiling as she put her headphones away, a few minutes later. "Please tell me you've paid your debt to the swear jar," she said to him.

He shot her a guilty smile.

"Chris!" Ellie laughed. "You do realize it's been like a year and a half since you guys actually filmed that movie, right? You better hope she isn't going to charge you interest."

"I'll make a donation to the place we got Dodger and then I'll let McKenna know," Chris promised as an Adele song came on. A sly smile spread across his face and he turned it up when he recognized it as one of Ellie's favorites.

"I know what you're doing," she muttered. Within seconds, however, she was singing along with Adele and getting lost in the song.

The highway took them through the Mojave Desert and ultimately to the tiny town of Needles where they stopped for lunch at the Wagon Wheel Restaurant. The dogs couldn't come into the restaurant, so they took turns looking around the gift shop and placed a to go order which they ate on a bench outside the restaurant.

Once they were back on the road, Ellie merged on I-40 and they made their way across the border into Arizona. Instead of heading north with Route 66, however, they detoured south to Lake Havasu City, Arizona, the home of the famous London Bridge.

The resort they were staying in was on the other side of the bridge, so they crossed it and then stopped to take a couple photos. Then they continued to the resort where they checked in and had their luggage taken up to their room. Then they set out on foot with the dogs to explore the resort. As most of the resort's guests were in the areas that the dogs weren't allowed, they weren't stopped very often, but a few people recognized Chris and asked for a picture. He accepted, but asked them to wait to post the photos until the next day.

Around dinner time, they returned to their hotel room and Chris and Ellie took turns showering while the other entertained the dogs and fed them. Then they put the dogs in their kennels before they went down to the resort's restaurant for dinner.

They were seated in a private corner of the restaurant and sat side by side in the round booth. Their dinner conversation ranged from their drive that day, to the drive ahead of them and then about living near Atlanta. After finishing their meal, they didn't linger in the restaurant for too long as they still had to take the dogs out one more time before they could go to bed.

With another full day of driving ahead of them, which included a detour up to the Grand Canyon, they turned in early after taking the dogs out for a quick potty walk. Returning to their room, they put the dogs in their kennels and then changed into their pajamas. The bed and the hotel room itself were a lot nicer than the wigwam they'd stayed in the night before, but it was missing the charm that they'd both loved about the previous night's stay.

During the planning stages of the trip, Chris and Ellie had found that many of the famous Route 66 hotels did not allow pets to stay in their facilities. They had considered having the dogs fly to Georgia, but had quickly decided that not having the dogs with them wouldn't have felt right. As a result, they'd found hotels along their planned route that allowed the dogs, but lacked the historical charm.

Day Two - Arizona

April 21, 2017

The morning of day two started before the sun had risen for Ellie. She hauled what she could down to the car and then brought breakfast up to the room with her before she woke Chris up, knowing he would be sluggish. Then she ran the dogs out to take a quick walk around a designated potty area before taking them back up to the room for breakfast.

The sun was up by the time they got checked out and into the car with Ellie behind the wheel. Knowing her co-pilot and their four legged passengers would sleep during the first leg of their drive, she turned on some music softly and started the drive.

In the passenger seat, Chris was alert for the first twenty minutes or so, but then he put his seat back and closed his eyes. Dodger, who was sitting directly behind Chris, climbed part way onto the reclined seat and rested his head alongside Chris's. When Daisy began to whimper due to being left out of the cuddle party, Chris reached his arm over and rested it on the seat in front of her and she laid her head against his palm.

Having to backtrack nearly to the California-Arizona border, Ellie got onto the Oatman-Topock Highway and quietly sang along with her playlist as she drove. There were a few towns to drive through, but most of the road was through a rocky, desert-like terrain.

For a majority of the early morning drive, Ellie's singing along with the playlist didn't disturb Chris or the dogs, but when Shania Twain's song "That Don't Impress Me Much" came on, she forgot all about her sleeping companions. Chris woke up to his wife singing along with her whole heart and pushed Dodger off the seat before he brought the seat up to a sitting position. For his benefit, Ellie changed up the words of the song so instead of saying "Okay, so you're Brad Pitt" she said "Okay, so you're Chris Evans." Then she flashed him a grin and sang along, "That don't impress me much. So you got the looks but have you got the touch."

Chris laughed and shook his head as she performed the rest of the song. As the music faded out, he said, "I most certainly have the touch, but if you've forgotten, I'd be happy to give you a demonstration."

"I know exactly how talented your touch is," Ellie replied and groaned as the Bloodhound Gang's "The Bad Touch" came on. "Is this from your playlist? It isn't on mine."

Chris was too busy laughing to answer her.

Arriving in the small town of Oatman, Ellie pulled over as she and Chris had prearranged. Up to this point, the road had been pretty straight and an easy drive, but they were about to encounter some very windy roads. They doubled checked the dogs' harnesses and made sure it was impossible for the dogs to slip off the car seats by filling in the gaps between the seat and the floor.

With Chris behind the wheel, they left Oatman and began the twisted drive down the mountain. To keep from swaying too much, Ellie held onto the handle with her right hand and held onto the center console with her left.

By the time they reached the bottom of the mountain, Ellie glanced in the backseat and shook her head. Daisy was passed out on the backseat while Dodger was sitting straight up with his tongue hanging out of his mouth. It appeared he, like his dad, enjoyed windy roads like the one they'd just traveled.

"Did you like that, buddy?" Chris asked, glancing in the rearview mirror.

Dodger gave a happy bark and they could hear his tail beating against the seatback. It wasn't long, however, before the "boring" stretch of straight road lulled the three-year-old dog to sleep like his sister.

They arrived at the Powerhouse Route 66 Museum about an hour before opening and met with the director of the facility who showed them around and answered their questions. They met some of the other staff members as they were leaving and Chris posed for a picture with several of them.

After leaving the museum, they had breakfast at a nearby diner before taking the dogs for a quick walk to stretch out their legs and let them go potty. Then they filled up the gas tank and continued their journey east.

They were an hour into their drive to the Grand Canyon when Ellie's cellphone rang. Chris lowered the volume of the music while she answered the call after seeing that it was her sister Riley.

"Hey, Riles," she greeted cheerfully.

"Hey! Is Chris with you?" Riley asked.

"Yup, I'll put you on speakerphone," Ellie replied. "It's Riley," she said to Chris as she put the phone on speaker.

"Hey Riley," Chris greeted his sister-in-law.

"So I know you guys are on the road and everything, but a girl from down the hall just poked her head in the room to ask me if you were really pregnant," Riley told them. "I told her you weren't pregnant, I mean you guys haven't said anything to the family about being pregnant."

"We aren't pregnant," Ellie confirmed. "Why did she think we were?"

"Some blog she reads said so," Riley replied. "I told her half of the shit on there is just made up, but whatever, if she chooses to fill her head with that useless information that's her choice."

"Thanks for letting us know," Ellie told her sister. She glanced at Chris and saw that his jaw was tense. "I'll talk to you later, ok?"

"Ok, bye guys! Drive safely," Riley said before hanging up.

"I fucking hate gossip sites," Chris muttered, once the call was disconnected. "I fucking hate them and their fucking bullshit."

Ellie stayed quiet while he continued to rant. They'd been together (as friends and lovers) for long enough that she knew sometimes he just needed to get everything out before he could deal with a situation head on. She suspected that his openness during the Gifted promo tour about wanting to be a dad was partly behind the rumors, especially since they'd gotten married in February.

"I'm going to make a post on my Twitter," Chris announced. "It will be one that just says that I will announce on my Twitter when we are expecting and if there isn't a post about it than it's complete bullshit. And then I'll make another that says we are expecting a baby."

"I like that idea," Ellie replied, reaching over and putting her hand on his. "I'm also not opposed to never announcing we're having a baby, it's our business. Not anyone else's."

Chris visually relaxed and squeezed her hand. "How did I get so lucky?" he asked.

"Well, it all started when your mom came into this used book store I used to work at," Ellie replied with a laugh.

Chris rolled his eyes and then brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed her palm. His mom would never let him forget the part where she'd handpicked his wife, but he would always be thankful for her doing so.

They soon stopped for a quick pit stop for the dogs before getting back on the road for the remaining two hours to the Grand Canyon. They drove as much of Route 66 as they could before turning off and taking the highway up to the national park.

When they reached the park, the dogs were more than ready to stretch their legs again and they attracted more attention than Chris did. Both dogs loved the attention of kids, especially Dodger, who loved to ham it up for their enjoyment. Eventually, they had to pull Dodger away from his adoring fans so they could see the national park.

Knowing they didn't have a lot of time in the park, they stuck to viewing areas and visited a few of them to get different looks at the canyon below. In the gift shop, they bought trinkets for their nieces and nephews and collected a couple postcards to send to the kids as well.

They finished their visit with a late lunch that overlooked one of the trails. Then they got back into the car for the drive to Flagstaff, where they were staying for the night. Unlike the two nights previous, their first stop wasn’t the place they were staying, but a place where they could give their two very dusty dogs a good scrubbing.

It was after eight in the evening when they finally arrived at the cabin they had rented for the night. It was south of Flagstaff, but the dogs were allowed to roam freely through the cabin and it allowed Chris and Ellie to stretch out and relax without the worry about the dogs' barks disturbing other guests.

After a dinner made from groceries they'd purchased at the store near the dog wash place, Chris and Ellie stretched out on the couch to watch a movie. Due to the day's driving and activities, however, neither of them made it through the whole thing.

When Chris woke up a little after midnight, he woke Ellie up and then led her into room they'd put their luggage in earlier. Sleepily, they stripped off all their clothes and then got into bed and quickly fell back asleep.

Day Three - Arizona to New Mexico

April 22, 2017

The dogs woke Ellie up around 5:30, on the morning of day three, and she let them out the backdoor into the fenced yard so they could do their business and then let them back into the cabin. She poured food into their bowls and then made her way back to bed with the intent of catching a couple more hours of sleep since they had planned for this to be a late start day.

After climbing back into bed, Ellie quickly fell back asleep only for Chris to wake her up less than an hour later with his hands wandering over her body. Rolling onto her back, she sleepily gazed into the wide-awake face of her husband.

"Morning," he whispered, his hand resting on her stomach underneath the shirt she'd thrown on to let the dogs out.

"Morning," she replied and then yawned.

"Still tired?" he asked and she nodded. "Let me help you wake up."

Ellie relaxed as his hands began to roam her body again, but was quickly becoming aroused from his caresses. She moaned as he kissed her neck while his fingers teased the sensitive skin of her inner thighs. Her legs parted of their own accord as his digits marched to the apex of her thighs.

Chris covered her mouth with his as his fingers reached their destination between her legs. He swallowed the moan that escaped her lips with the first touches and then slipped his tongue into her mouth. All too soon, they broke apart as she panted in response to his fingers working her pussy.

Slipping down her body, Chris positioned himself between her legs and used his mouth to bring her to her climax. Sitting back, he watched smugly as his wife's chest rose and fell rapidly as she recovered from her orgasm. When he noticed her breathing returning to normal, he slipped his cock into her and began the process again.

The room was soon filled with the sounds of their bodies meeting and their cries of passion. Chris came first, shooting his seed deep inside of her, and continuing to move their bodies together until she came a minute or so later.

Their alarm clock went off just as he collapsed at her side. Ellie hit the snooze button and they laid there for a few more minutes until the alarm went off again. Taking advantage of the multiple bathrooms, they each showered quickly and got ready for the day ahead of them.

After eating a quick breakfast and cleaning up after the dogs, they loaded up the car and took the cabin's key up to the main building. They checked out and then hit the road with Meteor Crater just west of Winslow, Arizona their first stop for the day.

Unlike the two days previous where they'd listened to a mix of all their music, Ellie chose a playlist compiled of their favorite music from the 1960s and the 1970s for the day's driving soundtrack.

It took them a little over an hour to reach the Meteor Crater Visitor Center. They paid their admission and took a guided tour around the rim of the crater. Since the dogs weren't allowed in the visitor center, Ellie sat with them outside while her space nerd husband explored the different exhibits.

Knowing how much Chris loved everything space, it was no surprise to Ellie when he came out of the gift shop with three bags. He'd purchased stuff for their nieces and nephews, but one of the bags was goodies just for him. Some of the stuff he bought for "them" was Route 66 inspired, but most of what he bought was spacey stuff to decorate his office area.

Ellie couldn't help but tease him while they ate their lunch and he listed all the reasons why he needed another 'build your own solar system mobile' kit. He also told her he'd purchased a set of glow-in-the-dark stars for the ceiling of their bedroom in LA because she'd been so enamored with the ones in his old bedroom in Boston. To which she rolled her eyes and asked if he was going to study a star map to properly place them on their ceiling. That comment led to a tickle war which ended with Dodger getting involved and attempting to lick Chris to death in order to protect his mom.

Once they were back in the car, Ellie changed their playlist again to one with songs by the band The Eagles. She and Chris sang along as they drove the thirty miles or so from the crater to Winslow, Arizona; specifically, to the Standing on the Corner Park.

They parked the car around the corner from the park and then walked the dogs over to the statue of a man standing in front of the mural that was in honor of the song "Take It Easy" by the Eagles. They took turns posing with the statue and then attempted to take a selfie together, but thankfully another visitor offered to take the photo for them.

Crossing the street to the gift shop, Chris and Ellie were prepared to take turns standing outside with the dogs, but one of the workers motioned them inside with a finger pressed to her lips. She winked at them as they entered with the dogs and then she went back to the shelf she was stocking. Since the store was otherwise empty, so they took their time looking around and purchased a handful of stuff before thanking the employee and leaving.

Getting back into the car, after a potty break for the dogs and humans, they continued east towards Albuquerque with the day's original playlist back on. The over four-hour drive found them getting on and off of I-40 as Route 66 jogged off for awhile and then merged back in. They made a couple stops along the way, but mostly just to let the dogs go potty and stretch their legs.

As their day's drive came to a close, Ellie asked Chris a question that had been plaguing her mind all day. "Are you upset that we aren't pregnant yet?"

Chris glanced away from the road with his brow furrowed. "No," he told her. "Absolutely not." He reached over and squeezed her hand. "I believe it will happen when it's meant to. And until then, I'm happy with it just being the two of us." Dodger chose that moment to bark. "Us two and the dogs."

"What if it never happens?" Ellie asked him. "What if we can't get pregnant."

"There are other ways to become parents," Chris replied. Yes, he wanted to be a dad and he knew that Ellie wanted to be a mom, they'd had many conversations about the topic. However, if push came to shove and they could never have kids or adopt, it wouldn't change how he felt about her. After all, he'd vowed to love her for the rest of his life and he planned to stick with those vows. "And if it comes to it, we can just be the best aunt and uncle to our nieces and nephews that we can be."

"How did I get so lucky?" Ellie said, leaning over the console to rest her head on his shoulder.

"Well, you see, it all started when my mom secretly hired a housekeeper for me behind my back," Chris said, stealing her answer from the day before.

When they reached Albuquerque and their hotel, they checked in and had their luggage sent up to their room, but went out to explore the downtown area since they'd spent most of the day in the car. They got to go boxes from a diner and then made their way back to the hotel to wind down for the rest of the night.

Part 2

Want to find me off tumblr? I’m @beccatheycallme on twitter. I also post my stories on AO3.

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[takadasaiko]

Home from the War Chapter Nine

FFN II AO3

Summary: Gina is taken to the Post Office, decisions are made, and Howard and Scottie come home.

Chapter Nine: Trust

He wasn't sure Liz had been as lucky, but Tom had managed to snag a couple hours' sleep before the call came in that had them rushing to the Post Office. He was halfway through his second cup of coffee by the time they arrived and he tossed the disposable cup in a bin as he made his way towards the other holding cell after securing Gina. Somehow Ressler had managed to get his hands on the man that had attacked Liz, and while Aram said that they could only find aliases on the man so far, Tom was confident that he knew the man's name.

Tall, dark haired, and arrogant as hell, he smirked as Tom entered. "Jakey Phelps. It's been a while."

Tom didn't let his mask of indifference slip. "Justin Masterson. Ten years or so."

"Still hate that, huh? The nickname. You're working so hard to make sure it looks like you don't. That's your tell, you know. That blank look you get."

Tom snorted and circled the table. Masterson tugged at his restraints, the cuff's chains clanging against the metal table. "Met the wife."

That finally brought a slow, almost lazy smirk that quirked his lips up at the corners. "That's gonna scar, you know," he said, motioning to the side of his face still caked in dried blood.

"Assholes wouldn't let me clean up." He waited a beat. "Or was that you?"

"You pissed Ressler off. He gets like that sometimes. He's got a protective streak."

"That why he let you in? To do what he can't?"

"He doesn't know I'm here."

Masterson flashed a toothy grin. "Even better." He settled back. "So what does the wifey think about you sticking your neck out for the ex? Does she know, or is that a secret too?"

The smirk returned and Tom pulled the chair out opposite of Masterson and took a seat. "Look," he started, pulling the other man's attention fully around, "you and I never liked each other, but we did respect each other."

"Is this where you tell me you're going to do me a favour, Jakey?"

"You're still alive after attacking my wife. That's more than most get." He tilted his head, watching the other man carefully.

"And now you want something in return," Masterson said slowly, the amusement easing just a little from his posture.

Tom leaned back in his chair, never breaking eye contact. "That is how this works."

Gina Zanetakos sat in the interrogation room alone in the Post Office. She was calm, despite the deep bruising that highlighted her cheek and her split lip that was beginning to swell. Solomon had given her that just before she had arrived. Liz never thought she would have found herself wanting to thank the man for anything, but there she was.

There they all were. She heaved a tired sigh, one hand reaching up to tug the band loose from her thick hair, letting it fall against her shoulders. Agnes was sleeping in her office and she had barely stirred on the drive over. At least she was getting some rest. A cranky four-year-old was the last thing she needed.

"She starting to sweat yet?"

Liz turned at the sound of the voice behind her and found Nez Rowan paused at the entrance to the small room. She came to stand next to her in front of the one-way window. "Not yet. She doesn't like cages though."

Nez hummed softly. "Probably trying to decide if she's in one or not. When is your boss due in?"

It took a moment for Liz to register that Nez was referring to Ressler. "He stopped off to check on Ellie. She wasn't thrilled when I dropped her off at her pace last night."

"You'd mentioned," Nez said with an amused look dancing in her pale eyes before she turned her attention back to Gina. "Tom's convinced she had nothing to do with the attack on you guys or on Agnes."

There was a skepticism in Nez's voice Liz wasn't sure she'd heard yet. "You think he's wrong?"

"I think that your apartment building has really good security and she was able to slip it once," Nez answered, her eyes narrowing.

Liz hummed a soft response and saw Nez turn to look at her out of the corner of her eye. "How's the search into your grandfather going?"

That pulled a laugh from her. "It's been at a standstill. I've been trying to get my badge back so I could have Tom's back in this. I did, by the way. Get it back."

"Congrats. You now have to conform to the Bureau's rules and regs." Nez flashed her a smile. "Could have come to work for Halcyon."

"I'm where I need to be."

"If you say so." The other woman paused. "However it happened, it'll be good to have you on this one."

The door behind them opened and Aram stuck his head in. "Agent Ressler's here."

The two woman exchanged a look before starting out without another word. The sooner this was wrapped, the better.

Bill McCready had spent a good chunk of his life in Army Intelligence, finding and cultivating the contacts that eventually allowed him to create what became the St Regis program. Its earliest incarnations had been created in the last years of the Cold War, but Tom - Jacob Phelps then - had been picked up years later. Less than a year after he arrived Gina Zanetakos had been recruited, and the two of them had risen in the organization. At one time they had been on track McCready's heirs apparent, with Gina set to take over the operations and Jacob to take over the education portion of the school. That had all been blown to hell when Tom had chosen Liz over St Regis.

Gina hadn't been able to give them anything about St Regis' past than Tom hadn't already given, but she was able - and willing, mostly - to give them current information. Tom had been right. The organization was drowning. New operatives weren't performing up to standard and they were losing old business faster than they could replace it with new. The whispers had started some time before, but Gina had buckled down, determined not to lose control. She had been convinced that her place in McCready's lineup would give her a layer of protection others might not have had. It was a hope that had landed her beaten into the ground and running to the only person she seemed to trust.

If she really did trust him - or if Gina was trustworthy in any sense at all - still remained to be seen.

"How was Ellie?"

Ressler was pulled from his thoughts by Tom's voice. The man had been nowhere to be seen when he'd arrived, and when Liz had told him that she'd let her husband in with her so-far unidentified attacker from St Regis, it had been all Ressler could do to not rush the room. Liz had promised he would behave and Ressler needed to extend the same trust to the Halcyon CEO that he was giving on letting them in on an immensely personal case. Tom might wantto add to the bruises Liz had left in him, but he had a responsibility to keep things above board now. Well, more above board than he used to. Halcyon was still an intelligence company with plenty of secrets.

"Ress?"

The older man cleared his throat. "Yeah, she's… well, not happy. She did make sure to tell me you owe her a really nice bottle of wine and a meal?"

Tom choked on what sounded like a real laugh. "Yeah. And then some." He shrugged. "We used to have her over all the time. She likes my cooking."

"I keep hearing about it."

"You've got a standing invite. Both of you. It'd be fun."

Ressler smirked and turned his attention back to the screen where Aram and Dumont were working on positioning the Artax Network over the coordinates Tom and Gina had provided for the physical school. "Is my perp still in one piece?"

"I didn't lay a finger on him. We just had a chat."

"Get anything useful from him?"

He wasn't sure he liked the expression that flickered across Tom's face. It was part amused, part offended, and part calculating. "I'm gonna need you to trust me on something."

Now he was certain he didn't like that look.

"Uh, Agent Ressler?" Ressler turned to where Aram was. "We've got it."

The two men turned together and saw the satellite view of a compound. It was laid out just like both Tom and Gina had said separately. The school itself spanned several acres, a collection of building bundled in close while others were scattered. Ressler wasn't sure what he'd really expected, but it looked like a high-end private boarding school. The kind that only the ultra rich would send their kids off to, not a spy training school that turned out some of the most dangerous killers the world didn't even know about.

Tom stepped towards the screen, motioning as he spoke. "So you have the main academic center there. Classes, training course, sparring gym. Offices there, dorms on the other side. For the staff that lives on campus, they're housed there." He pointed to what looked like it could have been a set of apartments.

"What about security?" Samar asked.

"Housed on campus," Tom confirmed. "Most are former students that couldn't pass the undercover portion of the training. They tend to be, uh…" Ressler watched him tilt his head, his expression closing off "Little rougher?"

"They don't polish up to hide their darker tendencies in the field, huh?" Solomon chuckled from his place. "Those tend to be the mean ones."

Tom shrugged a little. "Yeah."

"There's no overpowering the compound is there?" Ressler asked, his gaze shifting over as a guard led Gina Zanetakos into the War Room, still cuffed.

"Not if you want to survive it," she answered.

"You're here to give us a way into that," Liz said testily, her expression hard.

Gina shrugged. "Jacob and I can tell you every entrance, every protocol, but I guarantee they changed them the moment I was gone."

Nez Rowan quirked a skeptical eyebrow. "Exactly what are you bringing to the table then?"

Gina shot her an amused look.

"And that brings us around to trusting me," Tom followed up and Ressler frowned. "We have three contenders for heading up St Regis."

"Michel Geffroy, who heads up the deep-cover training, Anton Tallert, martial arts, and Victor Franks."

"What does he cover?" Aram asked, his voice hesitant like he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"Advanced interrogation," Tom answered. "They'll be united until they take Gina out."

"You too now. Sorry."

He shot her a look and she smirked.

"Let's get back to the trusting you part," Ressler prompted.

"Right," Tom huffed, turning to look at him briefly. "We're not getting into the compound while they're united. We can't wait to take them out."

"So we lure them out," Liz said, giving Ressler his first definitive clue that her husband had pitched this idea to her first. He wasn't sure if that was god or bad yet.

"How?" the ginger agent prompted.

"Masterson."

"Who?"

"Sorry," Tom chuckled. "The guy you have in holding. He came into St Regis right before me."

"He hates you," Gina said, her tone more amused than it should have been.

"He thinks he can predict me. That's his problem. We can use that."

"Still not sure where the trust is coming in."

Tom stopped, meeting Ressler's gaze and holding it. "I need you to let him go."

"He won't buy that," Gina argued.

"He will if he thinks he's escaping. We just had a chat in his holding cell and I offered to transfer him to Halcyon, away from the feds, if he was willing to spill on what he knows. He said he'd take the deal, but it's just to get out. We need to orchestrate the transfer, but let him think he's breaking out. Won't be too hard. You know what he thinks of the feds."

"He's not wrong."

Tom shrugged noncommittally.

Ressler snorted. "So you want me to let him go to do…. what exactly?"

"Bring them outside of their stronghold," Tom answered and a quick glance at Liz showed that even if they'd discussed it, she wasn't thrilled with this part.

"The moment it's confirmed that I'm helping Gina it ups the ante," Tom continued. "It'll pull them out and that's our best chance of getting to them."

"By using you as bait?" Aram asked uncomfortably. He looked to Liz. "You can't be okay with this."

Liz loosed a breath. "No, but they're coming if we want them to or not. We always knew it could happen," she added a little sadly, glancing at Tom.

He offered a thin smile and reached out. She took his hand as he spoke. "This way we control the situation instead of waiting for it to come down around us."

A long silence followed, no one daring to breathe in it, much less speak. Ressler didn't like it, but he could see the warped logic behind the play. It was a gamble, but a calculated one, even if it did require a fair amount of trust from the FBI's side of things.

The heavy silence was broken as an alarm screamed from Dumont's phone. He leaned over, checking it, before turning back to Tom. "Looks like the Hargraves are back. Got a couple of someones in holding too."

Tom's expression darkened. "In DC?"

"Outside town, yeah. You want me to radio the 'copter?"

"Yeah. I'll meet Mike on the helipad." He looked back around like he'd forgotten he wasn't alone.

His swiveling gaze paused on Liz and she offered a tight smile. "Don't kill your parents," she murmured as she leaned up a kissed him briefly. "Ressler and I have it here. Don't we, Ress?"

He snorted. "Not much of a choice," he grumbled. "We'll put something together and if you're not back, I'll contact you."

Tom nodded and extended a hand. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Trusting me."

Ressler took his hand, a thin chuckle escaping as he shook it. "Don't make me regret it, Keen."

There was an air of calm that surrounded Tom as the elevator plummeted down to the bunker below the hills outside of DC. He knew where they'd been and, at least in a general sense, why they'd been there. They just wouldn't drop it. No matter how many times he asked them, how many ways he tried to get them on board with what mattered right then, Scottie and Howard remained stuck in the past.

The doors opened, emptying him out into the base. Scottie was standing just in front of the large, glass doors that led into the conference area. She looked over, cutting her conversation with the guard she had been speaking to short with a smile. "Thank you," she said by way of dismissal and turned her attention on her approaching son.

He didn't match her smile. "Where's Howard?"

"In the interrogation room with Frank and Eva Phelps."

Tom blinked hard, the substance of what she said overwhelming the fact that she'd chosen to be honest about it. "Frank and Eva Phelps," he related. "Dammit, Scottie…."

A frown tugged at her lips. "Listen-"

"No, you listen. I getthat this means something to you guys. I get that, but it's done. It's over. Davis is going to rot in prison till the end of his life on espionage charges if you connect him to my kidnapping or not, and even if you do it won't change what happened. There's no point."

"Tom -"

"No," he snapped, cutting her off and he could feel his control slipping. He was exhausted and, even if he wouldn't admit it, a little terrified of what they were facing. "It's done. I'm here, and I need youhere, Mom. I need to be able to trust that you're here. There isn't anything bigger than that. There isn't anything that could possibly be -"

"We know why you don't remember."

Tom stopped, blinking hard, and he swallowed the rest of his outburst down as best as he could. "I was four, Scottie," he said roughly.

"And you've told both Howard and me that you can't recall anything prior to, what? Five? Somewhere around there? Long after the adoption went through. Long after they told you your name was Jacob."

"It doesn't matter," Tom croaked out, and he couldn't help the fear that gnawed at him, no matter how hard he pushed at it.

Scottie reached forward, her hand against his face. "They altered your memories. There was something that you saw or something that you heard or…. We don't know, but they didn't just take you from us, they took us from you. You've told me that you thought we abandoned you, that you lived your life believing that. They did that to you. They made you think that. Everything… Tom, that's why it's important."

Tom tried to pull in a steadying breath and found that he just… couldn't. It felt like his throat was closing and his lungs rebelling. He pulled away from her grip. "I need some air," he managed and turned before she could stop him. It was too much, and for the first time in years, Tom found himself running.

TBC

Notes: Thank you so much for your patience on this chapter! I hope it was worth the wait. It's kind of a birthday gift to myself today to get to post this. I've been so busy and fighting so hard with this story that I was really pleased when ch10 flowed a bit better than the others have been.

For anyone that's been reading my Blacklist stories a while, did you recognize a character that's popped up here and there? ;)

If you feel so inclined, I'd love a review on what you're thinking about the story so far :D

Next Time: Liz and Gina have a chat, Tom does his best to process the new information that his parents have brought home, and St Regis makes their own plans.

[if-only-we-could-read-it]

( @ava-burton-writing you mentioned wanting to know more about my oc’s, so I hope you don’t mind me tagging you in this!)

It’s occurred to me (or, rather, it did occur to me, twelve days ago, when I started writing this post) that aside from a few responses to asks, I haven’t actually explained what prov is, or who anyone in it is. Which, considering I’m a writblr, and I made this blog to talk about my wips and oc’s, literally makes no sense. So here’s a post on Prov:

What is Prov? 

‘Prov’, short for ‘The Provect Gene’, is my current (main) wip. It’s a YA sci-fi set in a ‘post-dystopian’ society with a (large) ensemble cast. 

It’s ‘history’: It’s been building in the back of my brain for so long I can’t actually remember when I first came up with the idea. I do remember making a wattpad and debating uploading it, but instead using the account to read other people’s works and to make notes and write extracts for other works I had planned (including fanfiction). Eventually, some of my friends discovered and decided to write their own books, so I decided to write Prov at the same time. Initially, it was called Psykes, short for Psysimalae (or something like that), for some reason, was written in first person despite being a multipov book, and a lot of the characters were clearly my attempt at just inserting my friends into the book (I didn’t even… change their names…) instead of the half fleshed characters I wanted. It as nothing like what I envisioned and was so badly planned and written that I literally gave up. I tried several times to come back to it and couldn’t because the quality of writing was so poor and there was so many inconsistencies in the story. Considering I could write pretty well at that time, the only thing I could think of is that my desire to get the book written fast/at the same pace as my friends overruled my ability to write. Eventually, after years of continuing to write the story in my mind, I came back to it and started to write it properly. 

Summary (that started off ridiculous and somehow got serious at the end): Once upon a time, there was a very rich, very smart, but not particularly nice, man named Cyrus. After years of theorising and making calculations, he came to the conclusion he could create a superpowered race of people for an army. Because he was the kind of person who wants to make superpowered armies. Through coercion, manipulation, lying, the occasional murder and other generally unethical means, he brought the people he wanted to experiment on into his labs and began testing. The only problem was that these people were teenagers, and teenagers are in that in between stage where they’re full of rebelliousness and ‘fight the system’ urges, and didn’t appreciate being locked up and prodded with needles. Eventually one of them who’d figured out he had powers used them to blow up a large portion of the lab, killing some people but freeing many others. The main problem – or, in Cyrus’ case, consolation – was that most of them had not learnt about their powers in the lab, and therefore didn’t know they existed. This made it easier for Cyrus to recapture them. He also managed to spread the word that they were ‘dangerous individuals’, which, in a world that’s fueled by paranoia, has a major impact. So now the police and government are after them too, which isn’t good for them. 

The book starts approximately one year after these events, when three small groups of the experiments are forced together, only to discover they have powers. Tired of always hiding and running, they decide it’s time they tried to put a stop to Cyrus and his experiments, and convince everyone that they’re not dangerous. This, along with them trying to figure out their powers, and trying to avoid simply getting caught and thrown back into the tests, make life very hard for them. Along the way, they discover more people like them, and more factors than they ever could have imagined, including corruption that goes far beyond what they thought. Loyalties are questioned, families are torn apart and sanity balances on the edge of a knife. After all, what’s the point of morals if only you stick to them?

Characters

Mains:

Isabelle: Has the power to manipulate light. The literal mother of the group, makes sure everyone eats and sleeps and doesn’t get themselves killed. Knows everybody’s secrets but nobody knows hers. Very sarcastic. Just wants to sleep. Original squad. 

Damian*: Can manipulate electricity. Isabelle’s (slightly) younger brother. Kind of an asshole but it’s not intentional. Actually tries to be nice he’s just not used to other people (or their feelings). Very smart. Basically the tactician. Original squad.

Barry: Psychic. Drinks way too much coffee, he’s probably at least 85% caffeine at this point. Hyperactive. Basically the child of the group. Was sick before being taken by Cyptem and missed a lot of schooling. References TV shows a lot. Original squad.  

Calypso: Can manipulate water. Very into fashion. Is willing to die for the aesthetic. Seems like the kind of person who in any other situation would have her life together. Isn’t going to let a small thing like people wanting to kill her hold her back. Original squad. 

Will: Astral projection. The medic of the group. Wanted to be a doctor. Tries his best. Frequently questions how moral it is to hoard medicinal drugs. The most reasonable of the group. Done with everything. Original squad.

Leo: Can manipulate molecules to cause them to freeze or ignite. Makes a lot of bad jokes. Scared most of the time, but would do anything for his friends. Acts like he knows what’s going on but literally never does. Going through an internal identity crisis. Original squad.   

Pyra: Can manipulate her own molecular structure (basically, shapeshift). Smol but could kill you. Took about a million self-defense and fighting lessons. Always ready to fight. Tough exterior, slightly sweeter interior. Original squad.

Beth**: Relationship detection and empathy. Definitely hates you. Virtually unreadable. Good at manipulating people and situations. Thinks she’s the strategist of the team. Pessimistic. Usually right. Smart. Original squad.    

Lara: Can teleport. Badass. Basically saves everyone multiple times. Probably better than you at everything. Slightly paranoid. Would kill a man. Acts like she doesn’t like you but secretly would probably die for you. Doesn’t need a squad.

Chris: Telepath and telekinetic. Lived in a cave for like a year. Tries to be skeptical of people to protect himself but can’t resist helping everyone he meets. Uses obscure plants to treat injuries and illnesses. Book two squad.     

Matt: Molecular immobilisation. Strong. Good at fighting. Pretends to be quiet and grumpy but is actually a sweet heart. Could crush a rock with his hands. Likes hand-to-hand combat. Finds it funny that people are uncomfortable around him. Book two squad.

Seth: Molecular combustion. Matt’s twin. Not as strong as his brother. Very concerned about Matt’s tendency to get into fights. More prone to panicking in situations. The guy who tries to lean on the wall and act cool only to fall through an open doorway. Book two squad.       

Meg: Pain manipulation. Really a nice person but is being manipulated. Starts off hating everyone she meets but warms up to them quickly. Spends a lot of time being used. Doesn’t need anyone else. Technically book two squad, but also doesn’t need a squad.

Cyrus: Can manipulate shadows/darkness. The villain. Spent years trying to prove that superpowers were possible. Loose morals. A good actor. Could probably be a politician with all the lies he makes people believe.           

Wyatt: Shield manipulation. Literally a child. Was put through a lot before he was rescued from Cyptem. Is basically adopted by Isabelle. Generally distrustful of people, but very protective of the people he cares about.

Sides

Melody: Sound manipulation. 100% done. Not as mean as she initially seems. Doesn’t like people trying to control her. Would probably become a politician if she didn’t hate the government so much.           

Alex: None. Is an intern at Cyptem who discovered what was going on. Is willing to help everyone even though they seem crazy. Has no idea what’s going on most of the time. Spends a lot of his time eyerolling.

Paige: Heat manipulation. Isabelle and Damian’s older sister. Has done very questionable things but is still a good person. Cares about her siblings, but doesn’t show it well. Inadvertently causes drama.         

Renee: Illusion manipulation. Also a child. Spends more time in Cyptem than Wyatt. Likes to draw. Hard to explain without spoilers.

Amara: Fear manipulation. Cyrus’s right-hand women. Cold blooded. Willing to apply whatever force is necessary to get the job done – and in this case that involves helping get the kids back in and figure out how to make them more compliant.          

*The spelling of Damian has been a bit iffy through the years. When I initially wrote Prov, my friends asked if I’d spelled it wrong, and implied it wasn’t meant to be spelled the way it should. eventually, I changed the spelling, but I kept getting muddled up between the two. Then I went, ‘screw it, my character, my spelling’ - except I’d forgotten which was the original spelling. So for a while I just alternated between the two before settling on ‘Damian’. 

**Beth’s name has been subject to repeated change. Initially she was called Beth after someone I knew, and didn’t like, but who was part of my friendship group so I felt obliged to include. When I rewrote it, I changed her name along with everyone else’s, and she became Ellie. Except ‘Beth’ always fit her more so I eventually changed it back, before realising that meant I have a ‘Beth’ and a ‘Seth’ - who also have quite a lot of interaction, which is very important to the plot. I put my foot down at changing Seth’s name, so chances are, Beth is going to become Ellie, or some other not-Beth name. 

Tags: Prov tag, Isabelle, Damian/also-Damian, Barry, Calypso, Will, Leo, Pyra, Beth, Lara, Chris, Seth, and Matt. (Some characters have a lot more information in their tags than others, because I’m inconsistent with tagging. Which is going to change from this post on. Meg, Cyrus, Wyatt and the side characters do not yet have tags.)

So, there, finally: my wip and its characters laid out. So now when I talk about it, people will actually know what I’m talking about.

[stylessemantics]

: : C A L I F O R N I A K I N G : :

Writing has been awful for me lately. I haven’t been able to write anything, nothing worked, I didn’t like anything, I didn’t feel inspired or motivated enough to even try and do something for myself, and this blog has been dead for months... I know. All there was, was self pity and sadness. It’s still there but at least I wrote a little something.

I don’t know where this came from. But here’s some Dad!Harry. I apologise in advance.

                                                                 ||    CALIFORNIA      KING     ||                                               

It’s safe to say you and Harry took the decisions regarding your relationship together. 

That’s the way it had always been and the way it has stayed after all the years. Some say it’s half the reason you two are just an amazing couple. You agreed on what to do when going out, who to invite where, the house you’d move into when you married. Everything was a joined decision. Obviously there’s a couple of things in your house and your relationship that you can tell are your husband’s idea, and some are yours as well.

The beautiful frames around the modern pieces of art hung in the living room were his choice. And the kitchen appliances, no matter how big or small, were your entire pick. But there was always input from the other person. The only thing you had no choice in and that surprised you when it arrived in the back of the mover’s truck was the huge bed. Harry had picked a California King and that was it; there was no argument because it was already there and it was staying.

During the first years of your marriage you were the cuddly couple in bed – no one could blame you, you were the always-found-a-way-to-touch couple before getting married as well – you both slept in the middle of the huge mattress, and you both needed at least one limb touching the other person. And Harry liked that. He liked basically swimming for you in between the sheets in the middle of the night so he could pull you to his chest and keep you warm – in turn making him warm as well – and he liked getting a lot of space to chose where to give you pleasure in. It was a good mattress that you only questioned twice so far.

The first time was when you saw the beast being lugged inside the house by two bulky men on a side and Harry and Niall on the other. But to be fair, even Niall questioned why in the world you would need such a big thing when knowing how cuddly you and Harry were, he knew you’d use the smallest portion of it to sleep, and then he winked at Harry when he eventually realised that sleeping was not the only thing you two would do on that bed.

The second time was during your second pregnancy. You were having a very hormonal day where you felt like you were the most hideous whale on the planet and made assumptions that Harry had bought the huge monstrosity of a bed so he could be as far away from you as possible if he needed to. Example one; right then and there. And, needless to say, that was not why Harry got the bed and he told you that as he tried to calm you down, soothed your anxiety and you fell asleep on his chest like you used to before this pregnancy. Eventually at some point of the night you shook him off – the baby bump had been giving you heat waves lately and you were not in the mood to cuddle all through the night – which he perfectly understood as he at least held your hand to sleep. That was all he needed and he slept soundly with a smile on his face.

You had yet to question the bed again… And it’s not like he thought you would, or that he had some mysterious secret as to why he picked the bed, but that night Harry found himself telling you exactly why he’d chosen the California King, because it was the perfect moment to do so.

You were both about to go to bed. The boys had been put to sleep around two hours before and Harry and you were waiting for sleep to take over, you were mindlessly scrolling though your phone as he read a new novel he had picked up on his last trip. You were on your side of the bed, and he was on his. At some point in the marriage you had stopped automatically cuddling when you went to sleep, and deep down you questioned it silently, but took it as a normal thing. Some nights you’d cuddle, some night you don’t. This night you didn’t.

It was at that moment that you heard the pitter patter of a 7 year old’s feet as your oldest rushed into your room. “Mom?” “Yes sweetie?” “I can’t sleep” you tried to hold back a grin knowing exactly why he couldn’t sleep. He had gone and watched something scary on youtube at his friend’s house that afternoon and you knew it was only a matter of time before he claimed he was scared of the monsters. Harry let out a soft chuckle as well, putting down his book and his reading glasses. “Come sleep with momma James” you said and the boy rushed to your side hopping into bed with ease and cuddling up to you. You ran your hand through his hair and gave him kisses trying to calm him down and make him fall asleep. “Elliot coming in, in three, two, one…” Harry says with a small laugh and just when he gets to one there’s the pitter patter of another pair of feet. This time your little 4 year old coming to the room and up to Harry’s side of the bed. “Dada…” “I know bub, I know” Harry leaned up to pick up little Elliot and lay him down on his side, scooting closer to you to give him space. Elliot just won’t sleep if he wakes up and James isn’t in the room with him. Harry started rubbing his back because it’s what made him fall asleep the fastest.

As the two of you laid there, in the middle of the bed and in between your two kids, Harry sighed with a content smile, turning to you. “Babe…” the word comes soft from his lips, barely above a whisper, trying to avoid waking the boys that were already fast asleep. “hmmm?” “Yeh remember when yeh were pregnant with Elli? And yeh hated the bed?” The memory made you chuckle. You were so hormonal that entire pregnancy through. It was nice to look back because your kids and your husband are your happiness, but lord was it embarrassing to think of the times you’d made a scene at restaurants just because Harry ordered something you could not stand the smell of for some unknown reason, or crying over a grain of cereal that fell and went under the fridge. “I do” “Well I never answered yeh…” “What?” you turn to him and see his beautiful face in the soft glow of the night light you’d installed for moments just like this one, where any of the boys slipped into your bed at night. “I never told yeh why I chose this bed…” he whispers and sighs running his hand through Elliot’s curly hair. “This… This right now, is why I picked this bed”

Being honest you didn’t really understand him, at least not right away. You didn’t understand that he was talking about the same reason you decided on the dim night lights for your room.

The kids. The family.

“I picked this bed because I could imagine laying ‘ere, with yeh and our kids… An’ I wanted a bed where we’d all fit comfortably. I thought… I thought that fo’ as long as our kids wanted the comfort o’ sleeping with mom and dad, we could all fit together on the same bed with ease.” There’s a soft glint in his eyes, like he’s about to cry, and you’d be lying if you said there wasn’t a tear running down your cheek already. His free hand goes to caress your cheek and he’s smiling through it all. He’s smiling like this was the moment he’d been waiting for all his life. Like this was the most important thing he had. And it was. To him this was it, this was everything. “I wanted m’family comfortable, sleeping safe and sound. I wanted the three most important people in m’life, soon t’be four…” his hand goes to your slowly growing bump and the warmth of it makes the baby inside jump just a little.

“I wanted yeh t’be comfortable. And if I have t’ leave for promo or anything, yeh can all just easily pile in, on the same bed and keep each other company. And I know they will grow out of this but fo’ as long as they want to… They can sleep with mommy and daddy.”

You can’t help but lean in and kiss him in the middle of the night. You can’t help but think you lucked out with the most wonderful husband and father the world could ever give. Your heart was beating so fast and you wanted to cry with the combination of your crazy hormones and his beautiful meaningful words.

He thought of everything. Harry spent hours picking a mattress because he wanted you and all of your kids to be comfortable through the night or on stormy afternoons, or whenever, really. It didn’t matter that slowly with the pass of the years you no longer slept the whole night through cuddling and spooning and being insanely close, because that phase had only stopped because you now had to fit two boys in between your cuddles. And to him, cuddling was better that way. And it was all Harry needed. It was all you needed as well.

“I love you Harry” “I love yeh Y/N… And I love our boys” he says with teary eyes. “And I love our daughter” “Daughter? How do you know it’s a girl?” there’s a throaty laugh that comes from him and he tries his best to not let it be too loud. Careful not to wake up James and Elliot. “I jus’ know it’s a girl, love” “Ok then… what if it isn’t?” At that Harry shrugs. “S��pose I’ll have to buy a bigger bed because we’re going to keep trying until we get a girl” You both laugh at the idea but deep down Harry doesn’t care. Sure he’d love to have a little girl, but truly he just wants all the kids your heart desires no matter what gender they are. All he cares about are these little moments where you can all just be one big mess of limbs, smushed together, sharing cuddles and feeling warm and safe through the night.

Smooches - Iv

I’m sorry for this and I’m sorry for being very inactive and a downer. I haven’t been doing my best lately (mentally and emotionally) and it’s affected my writing and creativity. A lot.

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